01-27-25 - BR - MON - Fun Facts On Whales And NBA 3Pt Line - Emailer Asks Can He Start A Sybian Workout Place - Harvard Study On Processed Meat And Dementia

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Release Date: January 27, 2025
Host: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Episode Title: Fun Facts On Whales And NBA 3Pt Line - Emailer Asks Can He Start A Sybian Workout Place - Harvard Study On Processed Meat And Dementia

---

1. Introduction to the Episode

The episode kicks off with the usual banter among the hosts—Brady, Gina, Dick Toledo, Brett, and Corey. While the initial moments feature an advertisement, the hosts swiftly transition into the main topics, setting an engaging and lively tone for the show.

---

2. The Lovense Automatic Sex Machine Debate

Timestamp: 00:33 - 06:06

Brady introduces a topic centered around the "Lovense Automatic Sex Machine," a product designed for automated sexual experiences. The discussion delves into gender dynamics, technological advancements in intimacy, and the humorous frustrations men feel towards such inventions.

• Brady:
  "We build you. We want flesh. We want the body. We want a replica." [00:33]

• Gina:
  Highlights the current sale:
  "The tech is 55% off right now." [02:53]

The hosts humorously critique the machine's design, comparing it unfavorably to human forms and expressing skepticism about its practicality. They also touch upon the pricing, promotional offers, and the broader implications of technology in personal relationships.

---

3. The Impact of AI Developments in China on the Stock Market

Timestamp: 06:06 - 08:26

The conversation shifts to the recent advancements in artificial intelligence by China and its repercussions on global stock markets. The hosts discuss how AI innovations have influenced companies like Nvidia and the overall perception of tech stocks.

• Brady:
  "The reason your stocks are falling is they produced AI in China on the same level as the Western countries." [07:13]

• Gina:
  Expresses concern:
  "Don't look at it." [08:08]

They ponder the future of investments, suggesting that while current stocks may seem undervalued, there's potential for a rebound. The segment emphasizes the competitive edge China is gaining in the AI sector and its economic implications.

---

4. National Crapper Day and Toilet Habits

Timestamp: 08:26 - 11:07

In a light-hearted segment, the hosts discuss National Crapper Day, dedicated to Thomas Crapper, the 1800s plumber. The conversation humorously explores modern toilet habits and health recommendations regarding prolonged bathroom visits.

• Brett:
  "Recent study warned you shouldn't sit on the toilet for longer than 10 minutes." [09:02]

• Brady:
  "10 minutes would be about the maximum that I would ever be on a toilet anyway. That's ridiculous." [09:06]

They debate the necessity and practicality of such health advice, intertwining personal anecdotes and playful teasing about bathroom behaviors.

---

5. Fun Facts: Cetaceans and the NBA's Three-Point Line Evolution

Timestamp: 10:18 - 12:04

The hosts share intriguing facts about cetaceans—whales, dolphins, and porpoises—and the historical introduction of the three-point line in the NBA.

• Brett:
  "Unlike most mammals, cetaceans... they must consciously choose to breathe." [10:18]

• Brady:
  reminisces on the NBA's three-point line:
  "The NBA didn't start using the three-point line until like '81, '83." [10:49]

The segment combines educational content with nostalgic reflections on basketball's evolving strategies, highlighting how gameplay has transformed over the decades.

---

6. The Harvard Study on Processed Meat and Cognitive Decline

Timestamp: 17:15 - 19:36

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing a Harvard School of Public Health study linking the consumption of processed meats to a 13% increase in the risk of cognitive decline and dementia. The hosts debate the findings, suggest dietary alternatives, and inject humor into the serious topic.

• Brett:
  "Processed meats like bacon, hot dogs, sausage... increase the risk of cognitive decline and dementia by 13%." [17:27]

• Brady:
  Sarcastically responds:
  "But I'm impressed." [17:35]

• Gina:
  Retorts with humor:
  "Communism." [18:01]

They explore the potential for reversing these risks by substituting processed meats with healthier options like salmon, while also poking fun at dietary choices and public health recommendations.

---

7. Controversial Culinary Choices and Public Backlash

Timestamp: 22:27 - 25:30

The episode addresses a New Jersey restaurant embroiled in controversy for introducing the "Proud Boys Burger." The hosts dissect the backlash, cancel culture implications, and the fine line between humor and offense in menu item naming.

• Brett:
  Details the burger's ingredients:
  "White American cheese, onion ring, layers of truth, mayonnaise, pickles, freedom fries..." [23:00]

• Brady:
  Mockingly suggests:
  "I'd eat it. Put it on the Chick-fil-A menu." [23:10]

The discussion highlights societal sensitivities, the power of branding, and the consequences businesses face when making provocative choices.

---

8. Wild and Unusual News Stories

Timestamp: 25:30 - 26:25

The hosts relay bizarre news stories, including an incident in Fort McMurray where a fight resulted in a man's genitalia sticking to a frozen sidewalk. The conversation blends shock value with comedic reactions, showcasing the hosts' ability to handle unusual topics.

• Brady:
  Offers a humorous take:
  "You're no longer in a fight. You're now a rape victim." [26:25]

• Unknown:
  Quips:
  "If you're tired of the Cs, you'll place it with the K. That's easier." [23:35]

This segment underscores the show's commitment to covering a wide range of topics, no matter how unconventional or startling.

---

9. Listener Engagement and Birthday Celebrations

Timestamp: 27:12 - 28:22

The hosts discuss listener interactions, particularly focusing on birthday acknowledgments. They share anecdotes about employee birthday oversights and the importance of community and appreciation within the show's ecosystem.

• Dick Toledo:
  "Can I start an F45 with all of these Sybians? Am I gonna go to jail for it?" [13:46]

• Brady:
  Reflects on the situation:
  "We did an embargo until Emily sent a belated one." [27:31]

The conversation emphasizes the show's familial atmosphere and the value placed on listener and staff relationships.

---

10. Video Analysis and Closing Remarks

Timestamp: 28:22 - 34:29

In the concluding segment, the hosts review and comment on various user-submitted videos. From mishaps at barber shops to unexpected gym incidents, the analysis is both humorous and critical. The episode wraps up with light-hearted exchanges and a reaffirmation of the show's ongoing commitment to entertaining content.

• Brady:
  Guides the video reviews:
  "Keep it classy. Radio friendly." [28:23]

• Unknown:
  Provides descriptions with comedic flair:
  "She's trying to impress me, but are you impressed? No, no." [32:46]

The segment serves as a fun close, leaving listeners entertained and anticipating future episodes.

---

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona offers a blend of serious discussions on health and technology, intertwined with humor and light-hearted banter. From dissecting the implications of processed meats on cognitive health to navigating the controversies of modern culinary trends, the hosts provide insightful commentary with their signature comedic touch. Engaging stories, listener interactions, and dynamic discussions make this episode a compelling listen for both regular followers and newcomers alike.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Brady:
  "We build you. We want flesh. We want the body. We want a replica." [00:33]

• Brett:
  "Recent study warned you shouldn't sit on the toilet for longer than 10 minutes." [09:02]

• Brady:
  "The reason your stocks are falling is they produced AI in China on the same level as the Western countries." [07:13]

• Brett:
  "Processed meats like bacon, hot dogs, sausage... increase the risk of cognitive decline and dementia by 13%." [17:27]

• Gina:
  "Communism." [18:01]

• Brady:
  "I'd eat it. Put it on the Chick-fil-A menu." [23:10]

---

This comprehensive summary encapsulates the diverse range of topics covered in the episode, providing listeners with a clear overview of the discussions, insights, and the show's unique humor.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem call 1-800-next-step or text next step to.

[Brady]

Morning sickness the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Gotta give credit, I've been My whole rant this morning was based on women paying attention. And Gina has Gina, you're brilliant. She fires over she said this is all we need. No need to listen to you men ramble on about how much smarter you are. Well, you never really needed to listen to us. You just accept it. But she sent over a thing that looks like a like Chuck Norris is working out. It's called the Love Sense Automatic Sex Machine. It's basically a bench couple of posts. It's got some pistons and some things. And I'm gonna hand it to women because when they say they don't need us, they never try to build us. They build some sort of weird workbench with like tubes and buttons and pipes and pumps and pistons. We, we build you. We want flesh. We want the body. We want a replica. You guys want, you know that weird spot next to the kids clothes at Sears with the Craftmatic, all the toys and the Craftsman stuff and like, huh. They want a garage of sex. So they may be ahead of us. I may have to take a back seat to that whole build your own. They may be ahead of us. But again, Brady brought this up and I didn't think of it the way Brady did. Was like, how are you going to pay your bills without a man? Though when Brady said that, it made a lot of sense. Gina has sent it over. Ladies, if you're into it, it's on Amazon.com it's not love sense. It's Lovense. L O V E N C E N S E Sorry. L O V E N S E Lovense. Leave it to a lady to make it hard to say Lovense. Automatic sex machine. We're a little bit more sex robot. We don't come up with cute names for It. Take a look at that thing. Brett put the lovense automatic sex machine up. It's a little insulting that they're not trying to at least build Brad Pitt. They don't even want human form, just a workbench. How you spelled L O, V E, N, S E. And Gina, I got to give it to you. Thank you for this. This is eye opening. And by the way, the reason that.

[Gina]

The tech the 55% off right now.

[Brady]

There you go. The tech market has crashed. Is AI. China released an AI app today that made us all freak the f out.

[Gina]

So what kind of product would you like to look up here?

[Brady]

Well, that's the thing. It's the. It's whatever this is. This little bench. This man replacement.

[Brett]

There it is. The machine.

[Brady]

The machine. Yeah, that's it. Love and sex machine bottom right. There it is. That's what they just. Wow. Basically, that's. Yeah, that's the travel pack. That's on a couch.

[Dick Toledo]

That's your new peloton.

[Brady]

And I've seen these on porn and I find them.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Very utilitarian.

[Dick Toledo]

So you can put it at any angle.

[Brady]

Yeah, but ladies turn into men when it comes to this. It's just like. Look, get me the workbench.

[Gina]

Careful, but quiet.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't need adjustable. I don't need skin. I don't need to feel them. I don't need a stupid.260 strokes per minute. I gotta start measuring my Briggs and Stratton. Ma'am. 18, 19, 20. All right, I'm 200. If I kept the pace I just did. I did 10 seconds. I'm 200aminute at what I just did. And I can keep that number. 200 is pretty good. No, you don't want to go crazy. You gotta mix it up. Right. Varying speeds. It's like pitching. You can't just keep throwing the heater.

[Gina]

Yes, but can you. Is your. Is your length adjustable to your stroke? Adjustable?

[Brady]

No, Donna.

[Gina]

There you go. Stroke length adjustable.

[Brady]

What is that? Oh, man. So it can pump. It's like. It's like my fox shocks on my bike. Or 36s. I can loosen that up to trail.

[Dick Toledo]

What's the price on that?

[Brady]

You control the depth with your phone. Well, ladies, I got to hand it to you. But I bet.

[Gina]

Oh, you can get attachments too.

[Brady]

No question. Hey, look. And let me just say, you're welcome. Gina and all the other ladies, clearly we built this self greasing system. It self lubricates, unlike women. Oh, my. It comes with a couple of Stands. It's like a guitar rack, only it's got. Yeah.

[Gina]

How much are we paying for this thing here?

[Brady]

Yeah. What's that thing run a guy?

[Gina]

400 bucks.

[Brady]

That's reasonable.

[Gina]

Well, it's normally 800. It's on sale right now for Valentine's Day, so.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Gina]

Free shipping. There you go.

[Brett]

What's the. And the bigger model, I wonder? That's the mini.

[Brady]

Go back to the first. Yeah, the big model was. I think you put it on the wall like a tonal. I go back one. We go to their bottom. Right? That's the one. Well, that's the same thing. Wow.

[Gina]

Just the Rico Blaze version design.

[Brett]

But maybe it's bigger.

[Brady]

Is it? I don't know. I think it's just in a different room. The other one was on a couch.

[Gina]

Oh, this one's three grand originally priced. Or 2200.

[Brady]

Sorry, that takes up a whole. You need room for that.

[Gina]

Get a thousand bucks off right now, free shipping. So 1098.

[Brady]

So $1098. You get $4000 in merchandise to bang your wife.

[Gina]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Brady]

Hang on. While you're not around. That's reasonable.

[Gina]

Wait a minute. No. 1400 bucks. Because I had both included there. This is $700 discount and 10 bucks extra. Get your personal lube.

[Brady]

Here's the thing, ladies. In a year's time, you're gonna call a real man to come over because you don't understand how three in one works. And this thing's making all sorts of noise.

[Corey]

What is three in one? When I bought it, yeah.

[Brady]

You gotta add oil and gas. You got a three in one. What does it mean? It's like a recipe. But you don't cook for man anymore, so you don't remember that.

[Dick Toledo]

Go to autozone, get some Lucas oil.

[Brady]

They have the three in one and a little too. But if you need two of them, be careful because you'll overdo it. Your weed eater won't work anymore.

[Gina]

Let's see what customers also bought with that, shall we?

[Brady]

I've ruined more things with three in one oil because I'm stupid.

[Brett]

That's the Bluetooth adapter here.

[Brady]

Oh, I struggle with the three in one. I tried to make my own ones.

[Dick Toledo]

Three in one oil and gauze pads. That's all you need, fellas.

[Brady]

Three in one is just. Thank God. They mix it up and put it in a thing for you. And then on the back of it, don't use all of it. Like. I know. So that for dumb guys like me, they have individual packages. You can use all of this One. Don't go pouring all that. Three in one and something.

[Dick Toledo]

Are those the attachments?

[Gina]

These are what customers also bought.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[Gina]

You can buy the AA powered remote control thrusting metal masturbator.

[Brady]

That's for us.

[Gina]

Yes.

[Brady]

We put that in there and it does the work. Hands free, beaten off. Yeah. Wow, these computer giants.

[Gina]

You can bundle that, too.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, bundle and save is always bundlerewski.

[Brady]

I'm in. All right. Anyway, what do you.

[Dick Toledo]

Was that one more expensive than the Thruster?

[Gina]

No.

[Brady]

No. Okay. It looked like 295.99 package 50 off today, though. Get you that thing for 147.50. How about that? Anyway, well, there you go. Enjoy your lives, because this is a mess. Amass this says the reason your stocks are falling is they produced AI in China on the same level as the Western countries. Using fewer resources, made the tech companies like Nvidia, which, if you have anything in stock, you've got tons of that. Seem less valuable. If you got a 401k. If you've got a.

[Gina]

Don't look at it.

[Brady]

If you've got an investment, it'll bounce back. Call Trajan and say, what do we do? Yeah, we're fine. We're fine. The Chinese have gotten in the way. We'll fix it.

[Gina]

It's time to buy.

[Brady]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, that's true. It's time now for Brady to give us all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Brady Report.

[Brett]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brady]

Hello, world.

[Brett]

Happy National Crapper Day.

[Brady]

John Crapper.

[Brett]

It's a British holiday dedicated Thomas Crapper, 1800s plumber. He's not the reason for the word crap, though.

[Brady]

They say that just to keep his family. Okay, but he is.

[Brett]

What's your average length of toilet time on a number two phone?

[Brady]

Has changed that.

[Brett]

Well, recent study warned you shouldn't sit on the toilet for longer than 10 minutes.

[Brady]

10 minutes would be about the maximum that I would ever be on a toilet anyway. That's ridiculous.

[Dick Toledo]

That's a long.

[Brady]

What's going on in your life at ten minutes of pooping?

[Brett]

Well, because you got lost in there and. Yeah, well, I'll.

[Brady]

I'll scroll. But even then, prolonged toilet time is.

[Brett]

Connected to weakened pelvic muscles. Increase the risk of hemis, as if.

[Brady]

You'Re shoving and pushing.

[Brett]

Basically, it's a gravity problem. The longer you sit, the more your blood rushes to that area.

[Brady]

Wouldn't that be true of all sitting men?

[Brett]

I guess if you're pooping that's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

You're straining. So for 10 minutes of dumping and you're still pushing. That's the problem. It isn't the sitting down.

[Gina]

Well, don't they have those little stools that you're supposed to squatting? Yeah.

[Brady]

You know what else you're supposed to do? And it's hard to do. But while you're sitting there, if you cross your legs like a lady, knee over knee. Tumbles. Audio like you're a 1930s prostitute. Balls.

[Gina]

Have you tried it?

[Brady]

Yeah. Do that. It's just really hard to do. Yeah, because you're gonna move your. Well, your stuff has to go down like Jane gum. And then you. And then you throw your leg over your other leg and sit like a lady. I'm telling you, it's like cutting the top of a bag of potatoes open and turning it over.

[Brett]

A couple of baseless fun facts. Unlike most mammals, cetaceans, which include whales, dolphins and porpoises they're called. They're under cetaceans.

[Brady]

No. Thanks for that.

[Brett]

They must consciously choose to breathe.

[Brady]

Right. Because they're. They'll drown. They've got lungs. Basically. Right. The blowhole.

[Brett]

Yeah. They gotta pop that hole.

[Brady]

That was hot.

[Dick Toledo]

There's an isolation.

[Brady]

Gotta pop that hole.

[Brett]

The NBA. The NBA didn't start using the three point line until like 81, 83. 1979. 80 season. And it wasn't used universally in college basketball or in the NCAA tournament until 1986.

[Brady]

Yeah, it was late. I remember that. I think that was the Steve Alford year with Indiana. They had the first three point. That might be the wrong guy.

[Brett]

But in the first eight NBA seasons, teams averaged less than five 3 point attempts per game.

[Brady]

It was a low percentage. Nightmare shot that coaches would get mad at you for shooting unless you were the one guy on the team that was pretty good at it. Not now. They're shooting 35 a night.

[Brett]

38.

[Brady]

It's crazy. The Celtics 68. Holmberg's morning sickness. And it's ruining the game.

[Dick Toledo]

It is.

[Brady]

I watched the Wizards and Sons the other night. I had Dale as my companion. Already. I was behind the eight ball for a fun night. Wizards are in town and I got Dale sitting next to me. And then they go heaving up threes all night long. Is he brutal?

[Dick Toledo]

Comfortably in that seat. Is there enough space for. For a guy like him?

[Brady]

Yeah. And the good thing for Dale Saturday, he fits in the seat. It's not comfy.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But there was a Ralphie sized guy first. Ralphie sized guy I've seen since Ralphie sitting about four rows up. Decent looking girl. No. In front of us. And I mean, just taking over half of the aisle, half of the seat next to him. And the girl next to him just kept leaning over, kissing him on the cheek. He had this weird Gandalf cape. No, she got in there. I mean, she. She craned her neck over and got through that mountain of a shoulder, laid one on his cheek.

[Dick Toledo]

That view that you had is how we. This view we had in Pittsburgh, when.

[Brady]

Ralphie sat next to me in Pittsburgh. That was the one.

[Dick Toledo]

And you were.

[Brady]

Yeah. You were quarter of my seat. One quarter.

[Brett]

The cork was ready to pop, and.

[Brady]

Ralphie was just blobbing over into not only my seat, but the seat next to him on the other side, too.

[Dick Toledo]

If I remember right, one or both of you was wearing those Bumblebee jerseys.

[Brady]

I had the Bumblebee, Yeah, for sure. They didn't make the Bumblebee big enough for him. Those stripes would have made him look twice as big.

[Brett]

Beverly Hills was named after Beverly Farms, Massachusetts. That town was named after a town in England, Beverly, Yorkshire, England. And that town was named in 700 AD because of a colony, a colony of beavers. So Beverly Hills is named after medieval English beavers, sort of.

[Brady]

Twice removed, circuitous. So all women named Beverly also probably named after beavers. The great English beaver of the first century.

[Gina]

I just had it stuffed.

[Brady]

Yeah. Nice beaver, John.

[Dick Toledo]

Can I start an F45 with all of these Sibians? Am I gonna go to jail for it?

[Brady]

Even know what an F45 is?

[Dick Toledo]

It's one of those workout places.

[Gina]

Mark Wahlberg.

[Brady]

Oh, is that what he's got going on?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And you work out the robots.

[Dick Toledo]

No, no. He's asking if he can start that with just those. Charge people a monthly.

[Brady]

Not a bad idea.

[Dick Toledo]

Monthly intercharge, like.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Drill classes.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's pretty good. I like that. Brady' I kind of like that. So what do they call that? The fit.

[Dick Toledo]

So his core.

[Brady]

What do they do? The thing where everybody's Kimmy Granger screaming and yelling at the same time and. Yeah, they get too excited about it.

[Dick Toledo]

Lisa. I went to one of those Orange Theory with Lisa. Those are kind of similar to that.

[Brady]

They'll kill you.

[Dick Toledo]

Real cheery.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

This is.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're too happy to be working out. Nobody's that happy. Yeah, I think they make everybody yell.

[Dick Toledo]

I've been doing this for about eight years now, and I just love getting in.

[Brady]

Years ago. Years ago, Megan was running those cycling classes, and I Was liking bikes at the time. It was right when I first started liking bikes a lot. So probably 12, 15 years ago.

[Corey]

You need to come to a cycling class with me.

[Brady]

Like, no way. It's too girly. No, it's not.

[Corey]

They have lots of guys in there, and everything's great.

[Brady]

I'm like, no, it's girl stuff, like those cyclists. And by the way, I'm not going anywhere. I don't like stationary bikes. That's boring.

[Corey]

Just come with. I bet you can't do it.

[Brady]

I'm like, all right, I'll go. But if it's girly, it's not.

[Corey]

They play cool music and everything.

[Brady]

Walk in, nothing but broads. No. Then a lady came in in, like, weird pink leotard, head to toe, like, you know, Doug Henning gave her her outfit. She comes in and she goes, the regular instructor's not coming today. My name's Sky Madonna. And I don't know what she was. She hops up on the bike and she goes, close your eyes and follow the color yellow.

[Gina]

I'm leaving yellow.

[Brady]

And I looked over, and she goes, it's not normally like this. I'm like, it is exactly like this. I said it was.

[Dick Toledo]

You got the outlier.

[Corey]

You should try it.

[Brady]

Never. And later, there was some other thing.

[Corey]

She's like, you should try this thing I'm doing. It's, like, slow.

[Brady]

You go real slow. So you, like, have a weight in your hands, and you do, like, a squat that takes a minute real slow, and you're on your toes. And I'm like, well, that. A, that looks terrible. B. I know there's some broad in the room talking through, like, you know, she's reading. She's telling you about your star sign or something.

[Corey]

No, it's not where it is.

[Brady]

Go online and look. The Aquarius moon rise. I'm like, I told you.

[Brett]

Let it burn.

[Brady]

Never go to those giant girl warehouses. The weirdest one is jab boxing. Nobody teaches those women how to box, and they all come out as fat as they were a year later as when they started. Unless they changed their diets, because no good instructors are in there telling you how to punch. They'll punch like sissies. They just think if they touch the bag, weight's gonna fall off of them. Like, teach them how to punch. Jab Thriller. I don't think we're doing it. Yeah, it's too late already. I'm sorry. Thriller came back in again. We're gonna try to get a square.

[Brett]

Came in on fire.

[Brady]

You can hang out with us if you want to, but we got stuff to do. Thriller came in. Sorry. Nice afternoon and horrible food news. Well, I told him. Well, you. You weren't. You didn't, like, get up for this, did you? Oh, you were already here. Okay, good. Yeah, thank God. I just.

[Dick Toledo]

Now we got to send him to breakfast.

[Brady]

I just hand him money at this point. Here's a hundred dollars. I'm sorry about that.

[Brett]

A team of researchers from Harvard School of Public Health just released a new report with data going back almost 50 years. The bad news is that processed meats like bacon, hot dogs, sausage, pepperoni and ham increase the risk of cognitive decline and dementia by 13%.

[Dick Toledo]

Really concentrated on reading that sentence.

[Brady]

Yeah, that was a good one.

[Gina]

But I'm impressed.

[Brady]

Those are those moments I wish I missed. Wish those moments when in second grade you get a little star on your shirt. That's a hard one. You did real good on that.

[Brett]

Experts do say, though, increased risk could be reversed by replacing bacon with salmon or any fish, really.

[Gina]

Communism.

[Brady]

Pure old communism. Run of the mill communism.

[Brett]

More.

[Corey]

How do you get that?

[Gina]

Hanging out with those show folks.

[Brady]

Hollywood Poon. Tanging around with them. Hollywood.

[Brett]

Last year, the World Cancer Research Fund.

[Brady]

Salmon instead of bacon.

[Gina]

No, that is pure communism.

[Brett]

The World Cancer Research Fund linked consumption of processed meats with an uptick in cancer rates among young people.

[Gina]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

I'll take two over easy eggs, some hash browns and some salmon.

[Unknown]

Doesn't work.

[Corey]

Brady Pokey. You're the gentle poppycock. Indeed, my friend. Jesus christ. The Chinese AIs already gotten to your room. Try to teach you to eat salmon over bacon. I'd rather have cancer. I take my heart attack every day rather than eating salmon. Bacon. Give me whatever he's got over there, Thriller. I'm not eating salmon. Bacon. That's right. Let me tote £750 around on one dead leg. I'll take that over your salmon bacon. Has it got gravy on it? Oh, yeah, it better. Bacon flavored gravy. I gotta go.

[Dick Toledo]

Gravy and salmon.

[Corey]

I don't anything better than eating salmon as a breakfast food. I'm not Jewish. I gotta go.

[Brett]

This Florida man in his 40s just landed himself in a medical journal after his crazy diet turned his hands, feet and elbows a light orange color.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, I saw this.

[Brett]

They diagnosed him with something called Xantha.

[Brady]

Don't even do it. You're gonna hurt yourself.

[Dick Toledo]

No, no.

[Brett]

Come on, let's go.

[Brady]

Don't look at me like I'm gonna know that. You're right. You could have said anything. Right there.

[Brett]

It's when your cholesterol gets so high, fat starts building up under your skin. It causes yellow or orange deposits, actually around your eyes. But it can happen anywhere on your body.

[Brady]

Is it X, A, N?

[Brett]

It's xantha. Asthma.

[Brady]

I just asked, is it X, A N or.

[Brett]

Oh, how it's spelled.

[Brady]

Yes. X A, N. X, A, N, T, H, I, A, T, H, E, L. Oh, you're not saying. You said xanthasma. There's no L in that. What are you gonna do? Let me see it. You threw an L in there in the spelling and then. Let's take a look. It's xanthelasma. They have it.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what happens when all of the cholesterol.

[Brett]

I said.

[Brady]

You said.

[Dick Toledo]

I say every time. You've said it before.

[Brady]

That's what I was trying to spell it because it sounded easy to spell. Xanthelasma. Yeah, you said xanthasma one of the times.

[Brett]

Well, when I started.

[Brady]

Well, as you said it. Either way, that's what you said. Don't yell at me. Yellow hands.

[Brett]

I actually started zenful.

[Brady]

But nobody heard that. When you got.

[Brett]

Yeah, when you got really excited. And then it's asthma.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So. So anyway, there's the hands. I didn't know they were up there.

[Brady]

Yeah, we've been staring at them for a while. Thriller. I want you to come back.

[Brett]

He told them he was following the carnival carnivore diet for eight months.

[Brady]

Hold on. He's walking.

[Brett]

So he was eating hamburger meat, cheese, and full sticks of butter.

[Brady]

Well, maybe that's what he's got on his hands.

[Dick Toledo]

Where's Ralphie? Full sticks of butter.

[Corey]

Now we're talking. Get that salmon off my plate. Give me one of them Lando Lakes blocks.

[Brett]

His cholesterol was over 1000. Anything above 200 is bad.

[Corey]

Says you.

[Dick Toledo]

Do you fillet your stick of butter about Ralphie or butterfly it?

[Brett]

What do you do?

[Corey]

I don't butterfly it. I eat it straight out of the package.

[Brady]

Rare.

[Corey]

Rare like your mother. Rare like a Father's Day card at Toledo's house.

[Dick Toledo]

There you go.

[Corey]

All right. I'll just get to it in a second, though. I'm not going yet. Oh, two more stories about people eating raw butter and less stories about bacon being replaced by a fish. Okay, now I'll go. See you, Thriller.

[Brett]

Bye.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

There's one last food story real quick. This New Jersey restaurant is getting hammered because of the item on the menu. It's the aqua blue kitchen and cocktails. They're serving the proud boys burger. The owner thought it would be funny to have that burger on the menu.

[Gina]

Sure sounds hilarious.

[Brady]

Hilarious. People really tie those things together. Funny and that.

[Dick Toledo]

What if it's delicious?

[Brady]

I'd eat it. Put it on the chick fil a menu. They won't care.

[Unknown]

I'll fit right in.

[Brett]

It's made of white American cheese, onion ring, layers of truth, mayonnaise, has to millions. Pickles, freedom fries. Cancel cancer, cancel culture. Coleslaw. That's a jam right there. Too many C's.

[Brady]

That's a lot. A lot of C words for Brady. Unlike those.

[Unknown]

If you're tired of the Cs, you'll place it with the K. That's easier.

[Brady]

That's true. If you just spell it in your head with a k. And he probably does.

[Brett]

It's a good chance of that.

[Dick Toledo]

Three in a row.

[Brady]

Kkk. That burger's available tomorrow. The aqua and the proud boy KKK burger. We thought it'd be hilarious at the James Earl ray burger and people are mad at us.

[Brett]

Got an elementary school principal that's in trouble through a kegger for students.

[Dick Toledo]

Elementary.

[Brett]

Cocoa Beach, Florida near Cape Canaveral has been arrested after throwing a massive rager last Sunday night. Apparently guests included elementary school teacher and more than 100 students.

[Brady]

In fairness, Florida Elementary School, everybody's over 21.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

There was a lot of booze. Authorities say one minor was arrested for DUI after leaving the party.

[Gina]

What?

[Dick Toledo]

On his huffy elementary school.

[Brett]

I know. Were they driving?

[Brady]

Yeah. Like I said, they're all 21. Yeah. I'm not wrong. It wasn't a joke. Statistics.

[Brett]

Another had to be treated by EMTs. For what the principal did not say.

[Brady]

Right.

[Brett]

For alcohol related.

[Brady]

Oh my God. They drank him into the corner.

[Brett]

Yeah, they're out on the principal's lawn passed out. The principal did not have any regrets at the time. Fact she saw the flashing lights out front. She turned off all the outdoor lights and forced EMTs to treat the kid using only truck headlights.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

She was charged with child neglect, contributing to delinquency of a minor holding an open house party.

[Brady]

Can't do that with the kids.

[Brett]

It's a bad call. Principal.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a. Should have thought that through.

[Brett]

And finally this happened after midnight on January 12th. We're now hearing about it in Fort McMurray. It's a town in Canada about 250 miles north of Edmonton. Temperature is in single digits. A guy got into a Fight out front of a bar. They took it outside. The dude dropped down, hit. Hit on his gut.

[Brady]

Huh.

[Brett]

He was fighting.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And it went to the ground.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And his penis, since the ground was frozen, stuck to the sidewalk.

[Brady]

He's nude.

[Gina]

What was his crank.

[Brett]

His pants came down during the fight.

[Brady]

Off in the fight.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Unknown]

It wasn't a fight at that point.

[Brady]

No. At that point, it's the two men about to make love. Yeah. Your pants come down. That dude's got a secondary idea in the fight.

[Unknown]

If he pulls your belt off during a fight.

[Brady]

Right.

[Unknown]

It's not a fight.

[Brady]

No. Run. You're no longer in a fight. You're now a rape victim. If you stand there with your dukes up, you're gonna lose. That guy's already got your belt. Yeah. If you lose a belt in any situation, even you, Thriller, like, it's probably pretty easy to get your belt. You put up quite a fight, though. If I started to reach for that.

[Unknown]

Area, I'd be unhappy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And it didn't happen right away. Cause they separated it. He was already on the ground. Then the police came in, kept him on the ground, arrested him, and as they were pulling him off, he was.

[Brady]

Stuck to the earth.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Thriller's right, though. You don't. You don't start losing pants parts and remain in a fight. Oh, Scientology sent me something. Larry just brought it in. Some of my mail is from the Scientology people. Oh, boy.

[Gina]

Well, they're a little late. It's been a. Been a while.

[Brady]

You're gonna be a volunteer, right? It's a volunteer. Oh, boy. Larry, I'll let you open that in case there's ricin in it. Thriller came in early this morning because we were going to do a square. Since we did a boycott. Squares. We. We did a. We embargoed them because he had not been wished Happy birthday.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Brady]

By our happy. The girl who works here only to give out happy birthdays, named Emily Newcombcrantz. Oh, they gave me a DVD and everything. So Emily skips Thriller. We find out Thriller's worked here for nine years and never once gotten a birthday. He meant it hurt you. Tripp came in and apologized. So we said, no squares until this gets rectified. Tripp said, happy birthday. Did Emily finally send you a belated one? Yes, she did.

[Unknown]

And a lot of the listeners did also. Be thankful for that.

[Brady]

That's nice. So you feel.

[Dick Toledo]

Were they all nice?

[Unknown]

Most were. Like one or two weren't, but that's fine.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's okay. You're gonna get those people.

[Unknown]

And I did make sure to reply to all of them if I haven't replied to yours, because literally our software detected.

[Brady]

They don't spam, Thriller. They don't care.

[Unknown]

I know. I'm just saying.

[Brady]

Yeah, they just wanted.

[Dick Toledo]

Great excuse.

[Brady]

Yeah, exactly.

[Unknown]

I didn't see it. I didn't see it.

[Brady]

By the way, our software isn't broken. He's lying. I don't know why you're lying about that. We're all capable of emailing back to people. There's some of them aren't gonna get one.

[Brett]

I got a couple of quick, pretty videos.

[Brady]

That's what I want Thriller to do. That's why I want you to do play by play on our videos today. Keep it classy.

[Brett]

Of course.

[Brady]

Radio friendly. Yep. This is Thriller's job today. All right, here we go. What do you got?

[Unknown]

Starting in the front lawn. Got a father and son. Looks like about to play some ball or toss something. Go with the kite with the kid. He's holding it.

[Brady]

Going across the street, running right in.

[Unknown]

Pickup truck.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Unknown]

Oh, he got a dented skull on that one. All the way.

[Brady]

He could go all the way. Oh, look at the little guy running. Oh, geez.

[Unknown]

Running just down there being his skull in the.

[Brady]

Look at him run, though.

[Unknown]

He's running so happy. Oh, it's just immediate, isn't it?

[Brady]

Kind of satisfying, though, Thriller, to watch a kid running that freely. He's too happy.

[Unknown]

He needs punishment.

[Brady]

Yeah, he needs to be punished for being.

[Unknown]

Get everyone show off.

[Brady]

Yeah. Little jerk.

[Brett]

The one before that one didn't come up, huh?

[Brady]

That's right.

[Brett]

I had. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, do this one and I'll ch.

[Brady]

Yeah, go ahead. Here we go.

[Unknown]

This is a airport barbershop.

[Brady]

Barbershop.

[Dick Toledo]

The description is a recipe for sushi.

[Brady]

Okay, Just put.

[Dick Toledo]

Throwing that in.

[Brady]

It's just a surveillance camera over a barber shop floor. Evidently. I would have never guessed barber shop. Here we go. I think I'd have gone airport too.

[Unknown]

This is security camera.

[Brett]

How did that guy know?

[Brady]

Some dude started running long before a truck blew through the barber.

[Unknown]

Oh, no, I mean, like, it goes. This is clearly like in a strip mall or something, because this goes through not only the barbershop, but the store before and the store after.

[Brady]

Whatever's next. Yeah, the barbershop's just the center punch.

[Unknown]

Mm. Oh, my gosh.

[Brady]

All right, you got a third one, Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

Here it comes.

[Brady]

All right. Oh, Sensitive content.

[Unknown]

I don't get this starting sign. Let's see.

[Brady]

Here we go. Don't click, Cy.

[Unknown]

Oh, we got garage door. Lifting it, trying to load up a pallet for delivery, and it crushes him.

[Brady]

Genie called Genie and Tasha right in the rib cage.

[Unknown]

Snapped him.

[Brady]

Oh. Oh, my God. A garage door came smashing down.

[Unknown]

Oh, no, buddy.

[Brady]

Tell him. Say it. You're never going to walk again.

[Unknown]

Well, I don't know what half of them got smushed. If it's the top half and the bottom half. It was cling on the middle.

[Brett]

Well, it started at the top.

[Brady]

Garage door guillotine.

[Unknown]

Yeah, straight up. He's just trying to, you know, walk out of the garage door to get his pallet filled in.

[Brady]

All right, now the real challenge. All right, here we go, Corey. I'm mild today, so I'm.

[Gina]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna play the two that I got, and then I'm gonna dig back.

[Brady]

Okay. Grab a classic. Get a classic for Corey.

[Unknown]

Oh, boy.

[Brady]

Thriller gets a classic. Classics with Thriller. Thriller. Classic theater.

[Gina]

Let's just start off with this little motorcycle.

[Brady]

Start it off. Go ahead, Corey. First one to some hot dogging.

[Unknown]

Well, here we go. Got a bike falling over, but we.

[Brady]

Just did this Friday.

[Unknown]

His leg is completely bent as he crashes off.

[Brady]

His bike does a pretty good job of like this.

[Unknown]

Oh, God. It just completely. Just snapped backwards. Oh, there's a picture last. Afterwards, we see his foot dislocated. It's gone bleeding. It's just off the land. It's actually still intact by a miracle.

[Brady]

How is his foot hanging on?

[Unknown]

It's. Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

He's at least missing three bones. But how about this?

[Gina]

Here's a little. Whoops.

[Brady]

All these leg injuries for Thriller. You guys are kind of insensitive.

[Gina]

Here's a little.

[Brett]

Whoops.

[Unknown]

All right, there's. Oh, yeah, she's going to work all by herself back there. Got a friend also.

[Brady]

What does that mean? Corey, explain it to the listener in the rear.

[Brett]

Oh, no.

[Unknown]

A surprise visitor. Oh, no, you're being too.

[Brady]

You're being too ambiguous. Explain. Explain that. We go.

[Gina]

There we go.

[Brady]

All right, go ahead.

[Unknown]

A fine young lady enjoying herself in the night has a little toy to keep her in check.

[Brady]

Where's it going?

[Unknown]

Working in the back end there. Having some fun all of a sudden on the way out. Let's see it. Oh, yep.

[Brett]

Little.

[Brady]

Sounds like a bowling ball.

[Unknown]

Little kinder egg surprise. Jump.

[Brady]

Kinder egg surprise. She pooped.

[Unknown]

Yeah, not a whole lot like a rabbit sort of deal.

[Brady]

Yeah, she. She's eating a lot of rough. She's just a little. A little. Little tiny tater.

[Unknown]

She had Looked surprised. Like it was a shocker. It came out of there.

[Brady]

She was shocked.

[Unknown]

It's like, oh, geez. Yeah, that's what it does.

[Brady]

Cleaned that out. Shouldn't have had that last bite of that sandwich.

[Gina]

Let's give him this one.

[Brady]

All right, here's one.

[Gina]

This one.

[Dick Toledo]

This is easy for me.

[Gina]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Unknown]

Let's see what you got. All right. So she is just all naked up in front showing off her stuff. It is out. I mean, it is plain. Oh, oh, it's like Pac Man. Oh, no. Waka waka. Yeah. No, it's out of the system entirely. And it's just to me is what it's doing. Yeah, she's trying to impress me, but are you impressed? No, no.

[Brady]

Cory, would you give that a run? A lady with the 6 inch labia.

[Unknown]

I was wondering. Yeah, it's like that's a full system out there.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's a lot. I believe when we first watched this, it looked like Homer Simpson's lips were trying to escape.

[Unknown]

Yes, it is actually.

[Brady]

Then. And then the cue to this one.

[Unknown]

I never understood the whole concept of like clogging it gum. But now I get it.

[Brady]

Yeah. You didn't get that before.

[Unknown]

I kind of. Oh, my God, it is trying to talk to us. Oh, hi, Marge.

[Brady]

Hello, Marge.

[Unknown]

Oh, boy.

[Brady]

You never understood why people called it a wad, A shoot up gun.

[Unknown]

A little bit. But like, I felt like, okay, it never looks that bad.

[Brady]

Haven't seen enough of them to.

[Unknown]

Well, not in that condition exactly.

[Brady]

To differentiate the good from the bad. Not in that.

[Brett]

He's looking for something with a little highway miles on it. Gentle.

[Brady]

There you go. Excellent job. Thriller.

[Unknown]

Oh, that was all right. Thank you very much.

[Brady]

You'll get better as you go. We may have Thriller come in and just describe the video. And now with Sports Cory, Thriller.

[Unknown]

Wild sports column.

[Brady]

Take a look at your highlight package. Yes, from downtown. All right. Nice job, Corey. Sorry, we're not gonna do the square. It's already too late. Yeah, you were already here. I don't feel bad because you didn't actually drive in for it. So we're good? Yeah, no, we're good. There you go, Thriller. Good work. That last video needs to be forever.

[Unknown]

That was pretty good.

[Brady]

The Homer Simpson. There you go. That's your Brady report. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fee.

[Brady]

I have heard enough of this, you pet.