01-27-25 - Not Much Excitement For Chiefs/Eagles Super Bowl - Dale Asked John To Take Him To The Ra Ra Room And Ponied Up To Pay - 50yo Burglar Shot By Homeowner On West Side Making Us Wonder How Long He's Been At It

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Release Date: January 27, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Bret Vesely
• Dick Toledo

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1. Super Bowl Showdown: Chiefs vs. Eagles

Timestamp: [00:33] – [11:51]

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg delving into the upcoming Super Bowl matchup between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles. He contrasts the Chiefs' current dominance with the infamous reputation of the New England Patriots.

• Chiefs' Dynasty: John praises the Chiefs, asserting that their success is earned without the shadow of scandals. He remarks, “The Chiefs aren't that way. And I think the reason why is because we're actually watching a dynasty that isn't gaming the system. They're winning, they're earning it” ([02:12]).

• Patriots' Controversies: In stark contrast, John criticizes the Patriots for their cheating scandals, referencing the "tuck rule" and tape controversies. He emphasizes the universal disdain for the Patriots compared to the more begrudging respect the Chiefs receive. He states, “It’s like we’re watching something that never happened before. And we're kind of bored by it. Hang on. The Chiefs again, huh?” ([07:43]).

• Fan Fatigue: John expresses concern that the Chiefs' repeated victories are leading to waning excitement among fans. He muses, “I really don’t feel much excitement over the Super Bowl this year. There’s not. I don’t.” ([07:43]).

• Eagles Analysis: While briefly mentioning the Eagles, John describes them as “padded vanilla with cheese,” indicating a lackluster performance despite being a solid team. He adds humor by referencing Taylor Swift's presence at the game, stating, “We were tired immediately of seeing her” ([11:51]).

Key Insight: John highlights the delicate balance between celebrating a team's success and avoiding fan burnout, especially when one team remains consistently dominant without controversy.

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2. The Dale Incident: A Night at the Ra Ra Room

Timestamp: [13:21] – [21:55]

Transitioning from sports, John Holmberg shares a personal anecdote involving a listener named Dale who insisted on joining him at a Phoenix Suns game.

• Planning the Outing: Initially, John intended to attend alone but was approached by Dale, who “asked [him] to take him to the Ra Ra Room and ponied up to pay” ([13:21]). This leads to a discussion on social dynamics and the etiquette of invitations.

• Dale's Generosity: Throughout the evening, Dale takes on the role of the "payer," covering the costs of drinks and appetizers. John notes, “Dale knocks that out. First round of drinks like Dale. That’s all you could” ([15:21]).

• Social Expectations: The hosts debate the unwritten rules when someone invites themselves to an event. John emphasizes the importance of hosts covering expenses when extending invitations, saying, “When you get him a ticket to a game... you pick up the drinks” ([20:00]).

• Group Dynamics: The story evolves as more individuals join, including Kevin, Ray, Zach, Devin, and others. John humorously critiques Dale’s attire and demeanor, adding, “He sees me. I’m in jeans and a sun sweatshirt... he goes, I thought you said we had to dress up” ([14:32]).

Notable Quote: John humorously laments the challenges of hosting and maintaining social gatherings, “Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. … There should be a secondary ring for that” ([21:55]).

Key Insight: The segment underscores the complexities of social invitations and the expectations that come with generosity, highlighting how financial dynamics can influence personal relationships.

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3. Crime in West Phoenix: The Case of the 51-Year-Old Burglar

Timestamp: [21:55] – [30:10]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing a local news story about a 51-year-old burglar who was fatally shot by a homeowner on West Phoenix.

• Age and Experience: John speculates on the burglar’s long-term involvement in crime, stating, “If you’re still robbing houses or breaking into places at 51, you’ve been doing it for a minute” ([22:53]).

• Method and Skill: The hosts analyze the burglar’s methods, suggesting he was systematic and experienced. John quips, “He’s a 51-year-old bad burglar. There’s no diamonds in there” ([25:05]).

• Homeowner’s Defense: They commend the homeowner for successfully defending his property, with John noting, “He gave credit to the homeowner for plugging the guy” ([22:53]).

• Cultural References: The discussion weaves in pop culture references, including comparisons to nicknames like “Night Coyote” and humorous takes on burglary techniques.

Notable Quote: John sarcastically praises the homeowner’s actions, “You made it to the show. He’s Crash Davis. Yeah. He’s too old for the miners, but he’s sticking around” ([30:05]).

Key Insight: The conversation blends humor with a serious discussion on crime prevention, emphasizing the importance of community vigilance and the often-overlooked realities of aging criminals.

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4. The Impact of Technology on Modern Crime

Timestamp: [33:03] – [34:18]

Following the burglary discussion, John introduces a segment on how advancements in technology have transformed urban landscapes and, by extension, crime.

• Times Square Transformation: John recounts a story about a man released from prison after 44 years who was bewildered by the modern technology in Times Square. He highlights, “He was blown away by the one in New York that looks like it’s moving around in the window” ([31:40]).

• Privacy Invasion: The hosts debate the intrusive nature of contemporary gadgets, particularly earbuds and smartphones, suggesting that constant connectivity has made public areas more surveilled and less private.

• Future of Burglary: John speculates that modern technology, while providing security, also offers criminals new challenges, such as the prevalence of cameras and electronic surveillance making traditional burglary more difficult.

Notable Quote: John humorously remarks on the ubiquitous earbuds, “Everyone's got a thing in their ear? Everyone” ([33:05]).

Key Insight: Technology serves as a double-edged sword in crime prevention, enhancing security measures while simultaneously creating new avenues and challenges for both law enforcement and criminals.

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5. Aspirations vs. Reality: Pursuing Dreams in Middle Age

Timestamp: [36:12] – [40:21]

In a lighter yet thought-provoking segment, the hosts discuss the challenges of pursuing personal dreams, such as forming a band, later in life.

• Age Barriers: John emphasizes the difficulties faced by individuals in their 50s trying to enter fields dominated by younger generations. He states, “Not one record company is sitting there going, all right, the kids are clamoring for a mid-50s rock band” ([36:12]).

• Balancing Passion and Profession: The conversation touches on the importance of balancing one’s passion with practicality, ensuring a steady income while nurturing personal interests.

• Humorous Anecdotes: The hosts share humorous stories about failed band attempts and the realities of re-entering the competitive world of music and entertainment later in life.

Notable Quote: John bluntly advises, “It's a game for the young. The young meth heads do that” ([40:09]).

Key Insight: The segment reflects on the societal expectations and personal challenges faced when attempting to fulfill lifelong dreams in later stages of life, highlighting the tension between aspiration and practicality.

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6. Vehicle Theft and Neighborhood Safety

Timestamp: [38:29] – [40:26]

Wrapping up, the hosts discuss local issues related to vehicle theft and neighborhood security.

• Car Jacking Stories: John shares a personal experience where his car wheels were stolen and subsequently returned, emphasizing both the inconvenience and the communal aspects of such incidents.

• Neighborhood Dynamics: The conversation underscores the importance of community awareness and vigilance in preventing petty thefts and maintaining neighborhood safety.

Notable Quote: John humorously narrates the incident, “They jacked it up, took all four tires and then I guess they could have dropped it right back down” ([38:57]).

Key Insight: Maintaining neighborhood safety requires both individual responsibility and community cooperation to deter petty crimes like vehicle theft.

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Conclusion

John Holmberg and his co-hosts navigate a blend of sports commentary, personal anecdotes, local crime analysis, and societal observations in this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Their discussions provide a humorous yet insightful look into the nuances of Arizona's local culture, community dynamics, and the ever-evolving landscape of modern life.

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Notable Quotes:

• “Mind you, there isn't some thing that's going to come out where a referee says, I was paid by these people to call it a certain way.” – John Holmberg ([03:50])
• “If you hate the same things, it's more important than if you like the same things.” – John Holmberg ([08:11])
• “Night Coyote knows where your jewels are.” – John Holmberg ([25:35])

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. It's 5:45. Let's go get this thing going. And oh, the excitement of watching the Chiefs and the Eagles is just pouring out of everyone once again is okay. Guess we'll watch them do this again. I suppose it's, it's getting a little bit kind of like watching your parents make out. At first it was like, what are they doing? And then now it's like, oh, they still do that. Okay, I guess that's. Let's go Chiefs. I got into a discussion yesterday about the Chiefs winning again, being in there and why it isn't Patriots hate. Now there are, there are people out there who hate, I mean, hate the Chiefs. They're Raiders and Chargers and Broncos fans. Outside of that, maybe the Bills fans are starting to hate the Chiefs a little bit. There isn't that same feeling that, that nationwide disgust of the New England Patriots, like the only Patriots fan liked the Patriots. Nobody was like, well, you know, come on, give him a break. No, you hated them. Everyone did. The Chiefs aren't that way. And I think the reason why is because we're actually watching a dynasty that isn't gaming the system. They're winning, they're earning it. At least so far, Andy Reid's not cheating. There hasn't been a scandal. And look, Patriot fans, sure, maybe calls.

[Brady]

Are going their way.

[John Holmberg]

That's every team, though. That's every single team that wins a little bit is like, well, they get all the calls. But maybe the calls do go their way. But it isn't some thing that's going to come out where a referee says, I was paid by these people to call it a Certain way I was told, you know, it's not like the way it was with the. The Patriots and the tapes and the weird stuff that followed them all the time. Their early wins, very questionable because of that whole tape scandal, which was, you know, not necessarily cheating to win the game, but getting an advantage other teams didn't have, which is, you know, not necessarily gamesmanship at a certain point. And just it always seemed like they were trying to find an angle to loophole the whole deal to win a game. And they did it. And the whole dynasty started off on the tuck rule. They changed rules later. The whole thing felt awful to all of us. Like we, you know, anybody you rooted for, it didn't matter. For some reason, Roger Goodell had the Patriots. They were gonna get help or they were gonna, you know, not be in trouble for anything. They said they didn't do anything wrong with the tapes. Right. None of the tapes weren't there, but yet Bill Belichick lost draft picks and had to pay, like $500,000 out of his personal account. Like, if that, to me is not guilty, that's guilty. It's just a lesser sentence. I mean, if I was arrested for something and the cops are like, you didn't do it. We'll tell everybody you didn't do it. But give us $500,000 and, you know, you're going to get suspended from work for a little bit and there's going to like, well, I thought you said I didn't do anything wrong. You didn't, but people think you did. So we're going to go ahead and it's a settlement. It's a settlement. He did it. They got busted.

[Brett]

Like Michael Jordan playing baseball for two years.

[John Holmberg]

It was a gambling. Everybody knows why he couldn't play basketball. Michael Jordan just was basically told, you can't come around here anymore. What do you want to do? I don't know. Baseball for a little bit. I'm kind of bored. I'm young. I'm an athlete. So, yeah, give it a try. It is not allowed to be in the NBA. And hopefully your father doesn't pay for this. And of course, that's exactly what happened. There was some. There was some terrible stuff that occurred. So Chiefs fans, go get him. Bills fans. I don't even know what to tell Bill's fans.

[Brett]

Did you check on Paul, sir?

[John Holmberg]

I've talked to Paul a little bit. Big time Bills fan here. We got another guy downstairs named Kevin that I've talked to several times about the Bill's chances. And it's not. Here's another thing. Hey, Bill's fans happy. Ooh, that's gonna hurt him. Believe this is the 30. This is 34. 35th anniversary. Think it's the 34th anniversary. I'll have to check real quick. Hold on. It's just the assort 34th anniversary of Scott Norwood missing the wide right kick. So yeah, Bill's, Bill's fans have a lot of those. Not a lot of super bowl celebrations, but a lot of like, oh yeah, it's the 34th anniversary of the Norwood Norwood miss. And then of course you've got the 12 seconds to touchdown thing that they did a few weeks or a few years ago against the Chiefs to lose that game in arrowhead with 12 seconds left. That one went into overtime. They've got a lot of, they've got a lot of memories of misery and to pile on to the Bills fan, happy 34th anniversary of WIDE. I still can't believe it's 34th anniversary, but yeah. Ouch. So anyway, go Chiefs, I suppose. Go Eagles. It hurts me personally that Steelers first round draft pick and backup quarterback now for the Eagles, Kenny Pickett is now dancing around thinking maybe he's going to get himself a Super bowl ring. Which, you know, as I've gotten older, I've met a few people with super bowl rings. Some of them aren't that impressive because it's like, well, you kind of. You were. You weren't going to get that on your own D. No, Dale earned his. I'll give him, you know, he was probably the. He played, you know, it wasn't necessary. He was always there in case there were. He's a backup lineman, but he was the long snapper. You never heard his name, which means he was good at it. Some of the guys get rings and you're like, oh, get a Super bowl ring. What were you. And I'm like, I was in the practice squad. I'm like, I did. You participated. I. There should be a secondary ring for that. Some guys get rings if they just, you know, played on the team and then got, you know, didn't play or got traded or whatever. Like that's baseball. A lot of times you'll see that when a baseball player leaves the team, goes to another team. But he played like 10 games with the first team and then they both meet in the World Series. Either way he gets a ring because it's no matter. It's time spent on that team. You get a ring.

[Brady]

Didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I forget. A couple years ago it happened Guy was traded from. What was it, Atlanta? I don't remember when Atlanta won the World series in 20, 20, 19, or whatever it was. And he was on both teams. And so I get a ring either way. Doesn't bother me. So it's just that. Anyway, congratulations, Chiefs fans. You're glowing. Don't gloat. That makes people hate you. And that's it. We were going to have our super bowl party and all that this year and started talking about it a couple weeks ago, and even Coleman down there at Stand Up Live, we're going to have it downtown this year. And then we're like, I don't really feel much excitement over the super bowl this year. There's not. I don't. I have to go to the Phoenix Open that day. And I'm like, I really don't want to scramble. And Matt's like, we really don't want to. We don't have another Chief celebration. I'm like, let's just skip it. Have your own parties. We don't want to go down there and invite the same people. The same Chiefs fans show up like, yeah, we're gonna. I've watched you guys celebrate enough. We're kind of. I don't think anybody's angry at the Chiefs. I think everybody's just kind of bored.

[Brett]

I think it's starting to turn that way a little bit, though.

[John Holmberg]

It will. Because again, yeah, we're witnessing greatness, but I don't. But it's not. It's not gut wrenching interest, right? It's you. You don't have to see the game to know that it happened. It's not like, man, I can't wait. Or. You don't care if they get like, nobody's trying to stop that. Nobody's going. I can't let. If they went through in a row. I don't know, man. Nobody really is going to try and.

[Brady]

Whereas when the Patriots were undefeated.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was huge. Well, because the hatred is the greatest thing for sports and life, really. Hatred. The Bible's so wrong. Hate brings us together. Hate makes us have common interest. Remember Russia when we, like in the 80s, the Cold War, we didn't have the divisive nation we have today. We had a common enemy that was like, really loud. And we seemed like it would have been a good fight. We think it would have been Ali, Frazier. And we all kind of banded together with that. You know, all Bond movies were about, you know, Russian evil. And then once Russia went away, it's like they had to make up Countries. We're not really afraid of Turkmenistan, are we? I mean, that's not really gonna.

[Brady]

James kind of teamed up with the Russians.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, he's had a couple of them where he had to, but then we're fighting made up countries that didn't. We don't care. You have to have a big boy that like, is a serious contender. Even in Top Gun. The new Top Gun they just made, they never even mentioned the name of the country we were fighting. It was the enemy. And it's like we don't even have somewhere over there. You have to have a common hate in order for love to blossom. You know, if you hate the same things. I always say that if you hate the same things, it's more important than if you like the same things. Like I could say you go on a date with a girl and she's like, oh, my favorite movie is Rear Window. And like mine too. Oh, I also love no country for Old Men and I love comedy and I love this and I'm a big fan of the ID network. And then she, she hits me with. But I absolutely can't get enough of Guy Fieri. Look, we can't be. We can't. We can't be together. We have to hate the same thing. If you don't hate the same things, you're doomed. You're doomed because one of you is going to end up at a concert you don't want to be at. Look at her and go, I don't even. I don't even think she's pretty. I think she's gross. So hate brings us together. We don't really. Nobody hates the Chiefs. If you do, it's just because they beat your team all the time. AFC West.

[Brett]

I think the difference is, is that the Patriots were just smug pricks.

[John Holmberg]

They were smug pricks. On top of we knew they cheated. On top of, you know, that. That's. That you know. Now we know what it's like to have a good looking dude. Like when women have a good looking guy, bang him and then never call him. That's how the Patriots felt. Like that guy just banged me and then left. Like without saying I'll be back or anything. Like he just felt used. He felt gross. That definitely Chiefs have an argument that the refs help him out, but have they not earned that? We're watching greatness and it bores us. Holmberg's morning sickness. That's how little we're into human success. We're watch, literally watching something that never happened before. And we're kind of bored by it. Hang on. The Chiefs again, huh? You take for granted when greatness is in front of you. And it's pretty remarkable. These dudes seemingly have forgotten how to lose a game. Like they don't. They don't ever get into something where like, well, they're gonna make a mistake and blow this. When they have the ball, you're like, all right, they're gonna get ahead here. The Bills have to figure out what they're going to do with the clock. Like when. When it was tied and the Chiefs had. It's like just let them score. I mean, once they got the first two throws are down by the 13 yard line, just let them in because they'll milk the clock down to like two minutes from the 13. Put it in on you anyway. Just let them in and give yourself a chance, a four minute chance to get in the end zone and either going to get in or not. They're getting in. They're putting points on the board when it matters and they always do. So this will be an interesting one. The Eagles. And they're. And they're boring too, by the way. That's a. You know, you got padded vanilla with cheese.

[Brady]

Taylor Swift.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's dressed like a, like a hobo yesterday. And we're all tired of seeing her. We were tired immediately of seeing her, but there she is, cheering constantly, kissing Travis Kelsey's mom. And we're tired of it. We don't hate it. We're just tired of it. So. And I really, honestly, I don't care who wins. This is another one where you're like, all right, good for you. Tip of the cap to the Chiefs. Eagles are a good team. That's fun to watch and that's for the average fan. So now I'm in it once again for the commercials and entertainment value and see if Kendrick Lamar is any good. Anyway, enjoy, everybody. The Super Bowl's back and America is abuzz over nothing. And now you'll see whether or not the super bowl is just habit or true interest. And it might be a great game, but nobody going into it's really too thrilled. What will the ratings will be 60 million same. Yeah. Because it's. Now we're just stamping it into must, must go. It's sort of like the Phoenix Open at this point. Nobody cares about golf, but you have to be like, if you get to go, it's like, oh, we're going to the. Like you go to the Open because it's a thing. It's in town you go, do you like golf? I didn't even know there was golf at that. It's real. Speaking of people who have super bowl rings and may or may not, as Brett said, deserve them, I took Dale Hellistrate to the Suns game Saturday night. Well, I didn't invite him.

[Brett]

Well, how did he go there?

[John Holmberg]

He asked. He. He invited himself Friday. He said, got anybody to go with you? The sun's getting tomorrow. And I'm like, the first person in the history of basketball to ever say, hey, are you going to the Wizards and Sons game tomorrow? The Wizards have six wins. And so I said, yeah, I think a friend of mine was supposed to go. So I text my friend that was supposed to. His name's Jim. And I said, jim, you still my date for Saturday, or was that another time? Jim also invited himself to a son's game, which was weird, because I want to go to that rah rah room. Let me pick a date. I'm like, all right, let me know. And he did. So Dale. So Jim's like, no, I got us down for the eighth. And I'm like, oh, okay, February 8th. That's Jimmy. I don't have anybody to go to the Wizards game. So I text Dale back, and I said, invited yourself on a good night there, Dale. If you'd like to go, I'll take your. I'll take your lumbering ass to the Suns game. And he goes like, maybe we go to the rah rah room. Maybe. Not if you dress like a adult, though. Don't wear your gym shorts in that same Scottsdale Christian Academy shirt you wear everywhere. So Dale comes and picks me up at my house like a date.

[Brett]

Aw.

[John Holmberg]

Got a nice new car. I like his car. Hopped in the car, drive down there. We get in. We, you know, park valet, go to the rah rah room. And he gets out of the car. He sees me. I'm in jeans and a sun sweatshirt. I'm going to a son's game. And he goes, I thought you said we had to dress up. He's mad because he's in pants. And I don't think Dale's worn pants since, like, school. And I said, all I said was, dress like a adult if this is what you. Because he had a nice polo shirt, an SMU shirt, all this new stuff. It was brand new gray slacks. And I'm like, man, you don't have to dress up ever. But okay. And so he was a little upset right off the bat. We get into the rah Rah room. We Have a couple drinks. I gotta hand it to Dale. He's a payer. I didn't know that. Dale reaches for the wallet way before. And that's a rare experience for me in the rah rah room.

[Brett]

No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

Very rare. Not a lot of payers. Not a lot. Dale knocks that out. First round of drinks like Dale. That's all you could. All a guy could ask. And he said, well, I couldn't have invited myself. I'm like, well, there's no doubt about that. I still gotta pay my way. And he. We talked about how people abuse the ticket situation. When you get him a ticket to a game. The protocol is if I'm taking you to the game, you pick up the drinks. Most of the time, it's just protocol. You don't even offer. You just do it, you know, that's just how it is. And if the person that doesn't sees the host's card go out, it should make them scramble. Some people just don't. I've discovered that over having season tickets. And those people just. They usually just wean themselves off the list. Then another round of drinks comes, and Dale pays again. And I'm like, well, now, now you're breaking. Now you're breaching. Because I can pick up a round. No. Well, we'll come back and we'll grab. So halftime. We go back to the rah rah room because he wants to eat and we get some food. He pays again. I'm like, dale, you're starting to skirt. Probably up into this thing. About 250 bucks at this point. I said, we'll come back afterwards and have a real meal. He's just got appetizers. Sure enough, at the end of the game, me, Kevin, Ray, Zach, Ray, Devin. I don't know her last name. Her new husband, that's Kevin's daughter and member, Sisquatch from the golf tournaments. Lady takes clothes off all the time. And Tom, they bought tickets sitting directly next to me through Ticketmaster at the game. So when we were sitting at the game, there was Sisquatch, clothed, from the golf tournament and her husband. We drugged them into the rah rah room because he's actually a successful businessman. His wife, not so much with the whole, she looks like, you know, she's got the hair and the thing she's putting show on. So let's recognize her with her top on. Her hair's made of carpeting. So it's this gigantic waterfall. That's how you recognize a vampire flooring that comes off it Looks cool, but it's definitely not human. And so we were in there and Dale ordered a giant shrimp scampi. And like he went crazy on that again. And then this time Tom paid. So Dale was beyond behaved and everything else. Now during the entire conversation, I have to bring it back to last Wednesday when we were in the room. I have to apologize to Brady. He is delusional. You are still a delusional man. The walking into a room of a thousand women your age, how many would find you attractive? Immediately first blush And Brady said 25. And the answer is clearly zero. It's zero. And we've gone over this. It's zero across the board. There's never been a time where Brady has walked in a room, stopped conversation. The lady's like, wow, I gotta get to know that. Yeah, that has never happened to you. Zero is the thing. Dale the ogre adamant that at least 500 would find him attractive. Probably 750 is the number he put on it that would want to know him. And I'm like, hey look, I give Brady heat for being delusional at 25. 500 for your broke down giant ass. I'm 6. 5 people find that pretty short and fat. And I'm like, right, I know. We've already established Brady's is zero. He goes, what about you? And I'm like, also zero. I'm like, you're not gonna insult me. 500 is. He goes, 60 year old women, because he's 60 would immediately find me attractive. Johnny, that's happened. I'm like 500 of them, 50% of the room. It went on forever. And this is how you know women are all liars. Tom's wife, Kevin, Ray's daughter, Devin, all of them said, oh sure, 500's right. I'm like, that's how you know I'm right is because they put that, they put that out there to make you feel comfortable amongst them. See, why don't you believe it? 500 women. And that just because he says they're 60, they'll take anything. And I'm like, even you at 60 walking into a lady's situation, they're going to be intimidated. I'm like, and if they ever saw you take five steps, by the way, walking with Dale Hellistray. Good Christmas.

[Brady]

They'll see Dale. Those women will see Dale. Like that's wiping in two years.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. He looks like somebody you got to take care of now. And then you find out whether or not he's rich. Now that's later down the road I'm talking about just first look, if you even see him take a few steps towards you, you get a pitchfork and some torture. But he is a payer and did do well enough to potentially earn a second trip to a son's game this year. I was very impressed. He told me a story.

[Brady]

Oh, he'll get it again. He'll call.

[John Holmberg]

He had a family member that he actually tried to fight over tickets because the guy started to, like, bicker about the beer. Like, but you had a margarita, and those are $20, and they had a dinner and stuff and all this. I was like, I'm going to take you outside and punch you in the nose. And he was going to fist fight the guy because he's like, I've been hitting you, giving you tickets to things my whole life, and you're going to bicker about the cost when it's your turn to pay? Once there's a. There's a protocol to that, Stu, you gotta do it. You lose friends over. I've discovered that you lose friends over season tickets. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. You truly do start to say, like, oh, I see these people's true colors are. They're takers. They. You gotta reach for that wallet and start kicking in for the. For the cost of everything. At least, you know, at least offer.

[Brett]

Pull the card out.

[John Holmberg]

Pull the card out. If I decide to say no, no, no, the whole night's on me. That's. That's my decision to. You know, you can't get banged for that. But if you're just sitting there with your hands in your pockets and firing off, you know, a couple mojitos like Kevin Ray's son Zach, now I'm gonna go on him, you know, sorry. He's been down there a few times. Kevin Ray's a payer. He always tries to hand over. And I. And I gladly told Kevin, I'm like, you know, what if we go back here again? Next one's on you. We already took care of the bill. Don't worry about it. It was nice. Everybody did it. It was very good. Fitz is a pair. He almost earned himself back in Tompkins. Hopkins didn't pay, and he's a payer, but he bailed out and, you know, told us, told his friends to hit the. Hit the bar. On probation. I'm like, yeah, he's living on probation right now. Actually, he re. Earned it. He went back to the. He went back and paid for the whole deal. He made good. He. He actually felt bad and Made the call. So, you know, just took a hundred.

[Brett]

Thousand watts of power to get that out of.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. You don't bang me like that. I'm like, I'll tell you, it's. You're going to get hit on those every once in a while if that happens. And then last night I was watching the news and I saw this. I didn't really put a thing to Congratulations. There's a homeowner in west Phoenix who shot and killed a burglar. Excellent work, I think. Nice job. I know you're gonna live with some trauma for a little while, but let me just be the first to say, a lot of us are on your side. I know it's can't be nice to be a part of that, but at the same time, there's a lot of folks out there that give you a pat on the back for shooting a burglar. Now then I realized that the burglar who they released the age of is like the Tom Brady of home burglaries. He's 51 years old, and I'm like, that's a ripe old age for a home burglar. He was do to get shot, if you ask me. I mean, if you're 51 and you just started the home burglar game, we.

[Brady]

Don'T know if he's a rookie or not.

[John Holmberg]

Probably not. I don't think you just dive into home burglaries at 50. I mean, I'm 52, and the burglar days are like. Even the thought of it's just like, nah, I've made it this far without a home burglary. I can figure it out. If you're still robbing houses or breaking into places at 51, you've been doing it for a minute, you know, and that to me, a success on his end too. He's 51, and he's never been shot to death breaking into homes. I got to assume this wasn't his first rodeo.

[Brady]

He's doing it for the love of the game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The guy's just in it for the passion at this point and knows the risk. And you know what? Finally met it. But I don't think there's a lot of guys 51 still busting into houses. Most of the time they're meth addicts that break into houses and they've died at early age. They don't make it to 51 if they still need a couple meth bucks that they got to break into somebody's place. Now, it could Be an OJ situation where he was breaking into the house to get something back. Or they had some beef with. He knew the owner of the house and was. But even then, if that's the case, you should know the owner's schedule a little better. The dude was clearly inside and well armed. And that's a guy you don't break into his house. 51. I gave credit to the homeowner for plugging the guy. We gotta tip the cap to the 51 year old home robber. I think that's a pretty nice. That's a good age to. You made it 51 years and you never took a bullet. For now he's dead.

[Brady]

Last one, honey. We make this one more good.

[John Holmberg]

And he's a bad burglar. He's a 51 year old bad burglar. 106th Avenue, an Indian school. I mean, shouldn't you have moved into.

[Brady]

The PV for the copper pipes?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. What was. I mean, shouldn't you be one of those. What do they call them? Those cat burglars? I think that's the ones that sneak around in the all black with the. With the satin bag of diamonds.

[Brett]

That's celebrity homes and all that kind of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you gotta get better at it. By 51, you're no longer breaking into the Avenues. You gotta move over to Paradise Valley and be like a cat. But the guys that are. That have a serial, they have a system. And there's at least a warehouse to.

[Brady]

Set up the crime.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you got 13 or 14 dudes, a contortionist, a guy that works well with pulley systems. And yeah, you have hydraulics because you made so much money robbing for so long. You lift houses out of the ground painting, put them back. And you got to surveil the area for a few days. Yeah, that. You've got it. You've got a. You're a. You're systematic. You don't just kick the door and run in and grab. By the way, what are you stealing on 106th Avenue in Indian school? Those pearls are fake.

[Brett]

Yeah. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

There's no diamonds in there.

[Brady]

That might be a couple of Bob Ross paintings in there.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe an accident. Yeah, but then that's just. Why not just go to garage sales?

[Brett]

106Th Avenue. Those are velvet Elvis paintings from the swamp. Meet.

[John Holmberg]

If you're going for the. I'm gonna cross my fingers and hope they don't know that the art they have in their house is really fine art. You're not, you know, 51 blacklight posters and Stuff. Exactly. And don't blacklight anything in a house. You. And I'm not saying 160 Avenue in Indian school is terrible, but it's pretty average and it's pretty far avenue that if I'm burgling houses. If Brett just suddenly came to me and said, hey, look man, we've never done this before. Let's break into some houses. I'm like, you know what? Sure. And then Brett's like, I got a mark. I'm like, where is it? 106. That's too far to drive. I'm not even interrupting. When you're 51, that's too far to go.

[Brady]

I need more info.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm going to need a lot more surveillance.

[Brady]

What about the house or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm not just 51. I need to have one of those things that suc cups onto a window, etches out a circle and I pop the window out just so I can reach in and unlock the door. I'm not kicking things in on 106th Avenue. At that point, I'll just beat up the meth dealer or something and take the meth. Why am I breaking into houses anyways? Not anymore. So congratulations. Friday night, just pop. Just busted in and, you know, guy standing there took a shot. 51 years old, homeowner admitted I'm the guy who shot him. I know exactly what's going on here. There's gotta be more to this than we know because 51 year olds don't do that. But hey, I think we have like the senior tour of burglaries. I mean, that's the first thing I do if I shot a guy in my house. Hopefully I have to take the mask off and look, look how old he is. Like, this is weird. Like I expect Witherspoon. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, wow, next thing you're gonna tell me was white. I'm like, what the hell? He's missing a 51 year old white man breaking into houses. I mean, this is gonna be easy. It looks like nobody else breaking into houses. That was picture a 50, 51 year old burglar has a tuxedo and like David Niven, he's got an accent. And I don't believe you're going to understand exactly what I do for a living. So I, I'll just keep it to myself. But let's just say I've done very well. Oh, and I have to go at midnight. I have somewhere to be. What? Midnight? What man has anywhere to be at midnight? A man of the night. That's who. And then he leaves and like, wow, he's a good burglar. I don't know what cat. What the difference is as a cat burglar. Oh, this is what it says. A cat burglar is somebody who enters a building from a second story or higher. I didn't know that. As opposed to ground floor. All right, you should have graduated to the upper floors then. At the very least.

[Brady]

51, pretty much getting nothing but a ranch.

[John Holmberg]

Ranch, sell homes and like 51. At that point, just get a job. At five guys. How bad is your life at 51 that you're still kicking indoors on the avenues. I'm just disappointed of where he's at. Like I would have been. Oh, 51 year old guy got caught, you know, right there in, you know, right off Mummy Mountain or something. Busted into one of them rich people's houses. Then you're like, ah, they finally nabbed. And he would have a nickname by then. At 51, you have a nickname name like, you know, the Night Coyote or something. Like people, he's been terrorizing Phoenix for 40 years. He's terrifying. Night Coyote strikes again. 51, if you're still busting, you haven't even earned a nickname yet. What a waste of time. I'm glad he got you. I'm getting. I'm getting happier and happier that that dude took a bullet right to the chest.

[Brett]

I don't know if this is true, but this guy says the robber hit the house a couple days before and went back. And this is when he got caught.

[John Holmberg]

What in the world?

[Brett]

So I don't know why you're going back for. You know.

[John Holmberg]

You know who wouldn't do that? Got everything. You know who wouldn't do that? Brett the Night Coyote.

[Brett]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

That guy knows better. You don't revisit the crime. So he went in, he broke in once and he saw something. He's like, I'm coming back for that.

[Brett]

Apparently.

[John Holmberg]

Probably power tools. The Night Coyote wouldn't have done that. Night Coyote knows where your jewels are. And Troy Hayden on the news. Or tonight, Paradise Valley shakes and terror as the Night Coyote comes out of retirement. Strikes again. This guy. 106th Avenue. Leave that to the. Leave that to the. Whatever city that is goons over there. Yeah, let the 26 year olds earn their stripes on 106th and Indian School. Then scooch over to, you know. Come on, idiot.

[Brett]

That's like double A over there. You gotta get into downtown, maybe aaa pv.

[John Holmberg]

You're right.

[Brett]

You're in the majors.

[John Holmberg]

It's like, you made it to the show. He's. He's Crash Davis. Yeah. He's too old for the miners, but he's sticking around. You're right. He's full Durham. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. Holmberg's morning sickness. I watched the thing last night on. It's great staying up all night watching tv. It's been the best. They have such great shows, like, things you'd never see. There was a guy who was in jail for 44 years. I think he went in 1970, he popped out. He robbed some people at gunpoint and then stood on the same corner in the same clothes, like, the next day. And they're like, well, there he is. He's like, who's. He even said. He goes, who does that? Like, what? How dumb was I? So they launch him out 44 years later, and he's aware of stuff, but he doesn't. He's not seen it. And just as a test, they're like, the first thing we do is put this dude down in Times Square and just let him have at it. Like, just be a human being in Times Square, 44 years removed. And he did. He's like, does everyone work for the CIA? That's the first thing he said. People got things in their ears. They're walking around with their phones, like, there's electronics everywhere. And he couldn't at all get past the advertising. Like, that was like, this isn't Earth anymore. He was blown away at Times Square. He's like, the screenshot that I'm looking.

[Brady]

At so many different messages.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you got to remember, in 1970, the last time, it wasn't even the messages. It's the technology. If you've seen the screens in Vegas, even from the last 25 years, where they used to be, those pixelated ones, and even prior to that, just light bulbs, little billboards. Yeah. Little tiny TVs that were. And now HD. It looks like a few of those things are crawling. He was blown away by the one in New York that looks like it's moving around in the window. It's like. It's usually a cat playing. Like, it reaches for people. It's the neatest thing I've ever seen. They got a few of those out there. And he's like, I just. I don't even know what this is. This isn't planet Earth anymore. And it was Fun to watch 44 years later, some guy get, man, this is total. But he was most worried that everyone's a rat, because everyone's wearing an earpiece. Everyone's got some sort of technology in their hands. It would be like in 1970 if everybody was walking around with full on cameras. Just. And if you think about that, how intimidating that would have been prior to the cell phone, if everyone just had a giant camera in their hand at all times.

[Brett]

You'd be like, VHS cameras.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't want to live in a world where everybody's got one, but we do now and we consider it great. But if everybody had an old VHS thing just in their hands and looking around at it and they're like, oh, I'm gonna film that. I'm gonna. You'd be like, ah, this is intrusive. Every bit of my privacy is completely.

[Brady]

Missing now you have it in the glasses.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I wear those glasses all the time. I. When I ride my bike, I have my meta glasses. It's crazy, but he was used to.

[Brett]

Porn theaters and hookers down there back in the 70s.

[John Holmberg]

Hookers, porn theaters and weird, like bright light bulbs.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And, you know, nothing like what you see now. And it was walls of it still. But Times Square now looks like a complete. Like he said, it's just so clean and bright and weird. But the one thing that nailed them, I just could not get enough of. Earbuds. Why has everyone got a thing in their ear? Everyone. And you look around now, you think, well, everybody does. And then he made some sort of comment at the end that he even said after about 20 minutes of wander Around New York City. So it's probably easier to rob all these people than it ever was in the past. So nobody's paying attention. And then he said, but everybody's walking around with cameras. Thank you. You're not thinking about doing it already, are you? Not like the Coyote Creeper. That's a good nickname. The Coyote Creeper is back in Parisville. If you're 51 and you're robbing houses still, kudos to you. You've got a system, you got a plant. You're not getting caught at this point.

[Brett]

Abram makes a good point. So John, he's robbing stuff in the West. Do you really expect him to ride his BMX bicycle all the way to Valley?

[John Holmberg]

But that's proof you've picked the wrong profession. If I was 51 and still doing, you know, weekends here, he's on his dui and I still tell everybody, hey, look, I'm trying to break through and get a morning show. I'm like, if it's not happening, it's like, when you talk to guys in local bands and they're in their 50s. That one guy got really mad at me at the golf tournament. So I'm like, you're 50 years old. Yeah, we're putting out. We're. Our new album Drops. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You recorded something on your computer and you're handing it out to friends. Nothing's going to drop. You're not in the industry. No, we got interest from like. No, you don't. Not one. Not one. And I'll tell you this for sure, not one record company is sitting there going, all right, the kids are clamoring for a mid-50s rock band. Let's see if we can go find those gentlemen. They're all. They're everywhere. Have fun. Enjoy your time. It's never going to amount if you're never going to see that. It's never breaking. It's not happening. Same with a 51 year old burglar. You picked a bad profession. It's time for you to find something else today. I always say that to guys like, oh, I'm in a band and I'm like, oh, here. But you're in your 40s and stuff, so what do you do for a living? Oh, no, I work over at the title agency. I'm a title guy, but I am in a band. I'm like, that's good. There's your passion. I didn't ask what's the thing you love most in life? I said, what do you do for a job? My band's gonna. Our new album Drops. I'm like, no, no, we're tour. No, you're going to play like nine bars here locally. No, we get to go to Tucson. Like, you called the guy in Tucson. He didn't call you. Yeah, but I know your title agent who plays in a band. Until you quit that title agency thing. Come on.

[Brett]

Roofing for Credence at the state fair in Iowa.

[John Holmberg]

Those are the good.

[Brett]

With one member left from the original band.

[John Holmberg]

Credence asked us to come out, so we went out and Tommy from the band, like, nobody knows who you're talking about. Yeah, he's got us. I mean, this could be it. No, you're in your 50s. It's not happening. When you. When you're 50 and you're still doing a job with the dream. Unless your dream is CEO and you're like the vice president, if you haven't had a steady climb to your dream, you're still in the first stages, you know, like, if Brett Was still doing overnights. And he's like, my real goal here is to get Tripps jobs. Like, oh, Brett, go hang yourself. This is never gonna happen.

[Brett]

I almost did a few times.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't even gotten Shannon's job yet. I know. It wouldn't have been surprising if that. One point we found out Brett was breaking into houses, like, during the 3 o'clock sideshow.

[Brett]

Wouldn't be on the west side, I'll tell you that.

[John Holmberg]

Perfect. Like, you should have. Like, you did overnights for 12, 15 years. 3:00 sideshow. You could have. I mean, sad thing was, you'd have broken into houses in Guadalupe. Yeah. So you'd have come out with tamales.

[Brett]

Yeah. With nothing.

[John Holmberg]

You know, like, way too much masa. That's all you end up getting is just buckets of it.

[Brett]

Porcelain statues of Jesus and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

That's about it. Yeah, you'd have been. You'd have been lousy with those if.

[Brady]

He was like, you guys need any rims?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Well, he wouldn't. He wouldn't have been that dumb. The 3 o'clock sideshow would have been, like, the ultimate. Oh, we should have seen that. He even told us it was a sideshow. He told us it was a distraction from what was really going on.

[Brett]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

And you leave the place for 45 minutes, you hit something, you come back. In fact, we had one of the ladies that worked in our building that was doing that in the daytime. She was the KSLX secretary or something, right?

[Brady]

Yeah, receptionist.

[John Holmberg]

And during lunch, she knew where everybody lived. She had everybody's address.

[Brady]

It was an inside job, breaking the.

[John Holmberg]

Houses while we were all at work. Kind of brilliant, really, when you think about it. She had her Clark Kent Persona and then her evil bad guy walking around in Arcadia, because KS Lex used to be on 44th street in Camelback. And she'd wander around, and this is where Holmberg lives. Kick the door in. She never got to my house, but she was close. Too close for comfort, if you ask me.

[Brett]

Your rims got jacked off your.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know who did that. Odalite. Holmes, if you're gonna.

[Brett]

They're on 106th Avenue.

[John Holmberg]

You're. Yes. And now. Hey, look, I gave it to him. They stacked my car when they took my wheels off on those blocks, right? Well, no, they weren't blocks. They were the pavers for walkways. They're, you know, landscape pavers. But they had the little Mexican guy with the sombrero carved into them.

[Brett]

All the Walmart pavers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they were on their sides holding up a Nissan Armada.

[Brett]

It was nice of them, though.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it was perilous, like it looks, so. Could have left it flat. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Son. Some. Well, I don't even know if they couldn't have gotten them all off if it was flat. They jacked it up, took all four tires and then I guess they could have dropped it right back down.

[Brett]

They dropped it right back down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they did. They were kind enough to put it up on landscaping pavers. And I'm like, well, respectable thieves. I know exactly who did that. It's a group in. In the. In the neighborhood that has landscape equipment that was respectable. I did give them that. Real pain in the ass to try to drag your car out of the driveway when it's just on its. On the. On the axles. But that wasn't a. It wasn't. The lady from kslx. She'd have left like Alice Cooper albums. That was a good one, Brett. You should have done that. You should oversleep. One of these days I'll force you to do an overnight.

[Brett]

I've done that before.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And we'll do the overnight show. I'll show up and we'll bust into one of the houses down here. I'll be 51. And take a bullet. Yeah. No, there's not a whole lot. Like, the drive's too far to get to. Good stuff. See. And there's. There's the.

[Brett]

Katie is 15 minutes away. 15 minutes back, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Too far.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's some stuff over here at the. TO or whatever the.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's busting into that thing. But look at that. Brett's 51. He's never burgled before.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

And the first thing he thought was, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna make it worth it. You're going someplace nice.

[Brett]

If I told you anything around here.

[John Holmberg]

I got A mark on 106th Avenue in Indian School. You're on. You're out of your mind. Rather rob Mesa. At least maybe I'll get some Dobson stuff and have it be nostalgic. It's 6. 25. So all you old burglars out there, hang them up and get a job. There's plenty of places. Hiring five guys has saw the sign in the window the other day. Now hiring. You're going to make more and be respectable and you won't have to drive around. And you're certainly not going to take a bullet. 51 year old man takes bullet. I want to know what the record is for Oldest guy breaking into houses because he's got to be up there. That's a. That is a game for the young. The young meth heads do that. Let's get a wake up song. Five eight, five nine, eight hundred. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98K upd. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.