01-27-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Condensed Short Show (Ep. 01-27-26)

Main Theme & Purpose

In this lively, fast-moving episode, John Holmberg and the Morning Sickness crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and others) tackle multiple local and national stories with their trademark irreverent humor and commentary. From wild police raids and shocking local crime news, to debates about seductive music, ASU's return to STD "glory," and even the bizarre inner workings of homemade denim, the show offers the familiar mix of offbeat news, sharp banter, and unscripted moments that keep Arizona listeners coming back.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Zips Restaurant Raids & Local Law Enforcement Drama

• [00:49–09:43]
  • The team dives into Homeland Security's high-profile raids on multiple Zips sports bar locations in Phoenix. Holmberg discusses his close call with being at the scene, noting, “Deep down, I want to be adjacent to a pepper balling!” (C, 04:10).
  • The panel questions the true motives of the raids—pondering whether it’s about immigration, money laundering, or even a possible "Jewish mob" connection, in typical tongue-in-cheek HMS fashion.
  • Quotes address the oddity of only Zips being raided and local reactions:
    • “I hope it wasn't for the killer zipperitas. Everybody here was worried that our drinks were gonna get taken.” (C, 01:53)
    • “They walked in like cops... What’s going on at Zips? That’s more than immigration.” (C, 02:54)
• Memorable Moment: Holmberg’s admission that his “dream” is to witness a pepperballing firsthand, not to participate, but just to finally “know what’s real and what’s not” (C, 04:10).

---

2. Disturbing Crime in Gilbert: Wife-Drugging Scandal

• [10:25–18:31]
  • The crew discusses a local Gilbert man who drugged his wife and solicited men online (via Reddit) to have sex with her without her consent.
    • “I don't know what's worse—the dude drugging her or the guys in the car on the way over.” (C, 10:50)
  • The story unfolds with details of how the wife uncovered the plot, the courage to report, and the extent of the crime.
  • Insightful and darkly comedic commentary follows, questioning the mindset of those who would answer such ads, and how quickly such stories spread among local listeners.
    • “If you're on the tape banging the incapacitated lady, call me a fascist, but do we really need a court hearing for that?” (C, 18:06)
• Memorable Moment: The panel debates who’s worse: the husband, or the random men who eagerly answered the Reddit post.

---

3. Seductive Song Lists & Musical Banter

• [18:41–26:40]
  • Revisiting “music to get busy to,” the show reviews listener-suggested playlists and a list of the “top 21 seductive tracks.”
    • Jazz comes up again as the genre most associated with cheating—“Jazz came up number one, which was kind of surprising to all of us.” (C, 18:41)
    • Songs are played and critiqued in real time, including Beyoncé’s “Rocket,” Portishead’s “Glory Box,” The Isley Brothers’ “Between the Sheets,” and “Minimum Wage” by They Might Be Giants for comedic contrast.
  • Light-hearted sexual commentary, playful music sampling, and quips about setting the right bedroom mood, especially for Valentine’s Day.
    • “This is the kind of song where it’s all pre-planned... candles, Spotify playlist, dress up, not a road head song.” (C, 24:23)
• Memorable Moment: The general consensus that most men want quick-and-dirty over the “Hollywood” style, dramatized romance songs.

---

4. Viral Cleaning Pranks, AI & STD Diagnostics

• [26:48–29:39]
  • Brief discussion of a social media post about a cruel prank: hiding mini ducks around the house for a cleaner to find, with the team calling it “dick move” (C, 27:12).
  • Transition to Gen Z’s increasing reliance on AI chatbots for advice on STDs—a stat-heavy, rapid-fire rundown about the limits of technology for sensitive medical advice.
    • “Does this look infected? AI.com.” (C, 28:27)
    • “If you are taking pictures of bumps on your wiener... go to the doctor.” (C, 28:52)
  • Riffs on “BrettGPT” and AI’s inability to provide real diagnoses.

---

5. Dog Devotion & Emotional Moments

• [29:39–33:20]
  • A digression into the deep emotional bond with dogs, spurred by a viral video of a man pouring his heart out to his pup.
    • “You're my best friend. I like you more than any other human. You are the greatest thing that I've got.” (C quoting video, 30:13)
  • Crew members tear up recounting their own moments of canine affection, discussing dog personalities and quirks.
  • “My tears rolling down my face when that dude’s telling his black lab. Just needed to let you know this. Waterworks.” (C, 31:39)

---

6. Show Memories & Vegas Giveaway Brainstorm

• [33:29–36:18]
  • Nostalgic recap of the show’s 21st/22nd anniversary private jet trip to Vegas, and riffing on the idea of a “Dirtiest Vegas Trip” contest.
  • New idea: Listeners win a trip but must ride Greyhound and share a room at Circus Circus—would they still want to go?
    • “All the winners have to share a room at Circus Circus. Would you still go?” (C, 35:01)

---

7. Sydney Sweeney’s Hollywood Sign Bra Stunt

• [36:18–39:42]
  • Panel discusses actress Sydney Sweeney using bras to promote her lingerie line by placing them on the Hollywood sign.
    • “It’s brilliant marketing. That’s what radio used to do… take the risk to get everybody to yell at them.” (C, 39:12)
  • Commentary on influencer marketing and the shift from risk-taking stunts to more sanitized promotions.

---

8. ASU Named Most STD-Ridden College

• [39:52–43:56]
  • In classic HMS style, the crew excitedly discusses a report naming Arizona State University as the top school for STD rates.
    • “ASU is number one back, back on top man… that’s when we were great and that's when football was good.” (C, 39:52)
  • They jokingly celebrate the “return to form” for the university and reminisce about its days as a top party school, noting Iowa is runner-up.
    • “Tell me when the last time ASU topped any of the polls. Ever? Been a long time.” (C, 41:32)
• Memorable Moment: Debating whether community colleges should be included in such rankings, with jokes at Mesa Community College’s expense.

---

9. Homemade Denim & Young Adult “Goals”

• [44:00–50:25]
  • Discussion of one panelist’s son, his unsuccessful forays into college, and his new focus on sewing his own jeans—though still struggling with the button.
    • “You can’t make pants that button—they’re not pants!” (C, 47:28)
  • Laughter at the idea of a contest trip to Vegas featuring custom “Toledo jeans” with DIY fastener options.

---

10. The Doomsday Clock Panic

• [50:35–54:10]
  • Closing segment on the “Doomsday Clock” inching four seconds closer to midnight, with John mocking its relevance and the media’s use of fear.
    • “If it’s moving four seconds a year... nobody on the planet’s gonna be here by the time it hits zero.” (C, 51:17)
    • “It’s all about clicks, all about advertising dollars, all about the news jumping on crazy.” (C, 53:37)
  • Underlines the show’s theme of questioning panic headlines and advocating for a more relaxed, less sensationalized approach to news consumption.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "Deep down, and I don't care what anybody thinks of this, I want to be adjacent to a pepper balling. I want to see it." (C, 04:10)
• "I don't know what's worse, the dude drugging her or the guys in the car on the way over." (C, 10:50)
• "If you're on the tape banging the incapacitated lady, ... do we really need a court hearing for that?" (C, 18:06)
• "This is the kind of song where it’s all pre-planned ... You just can't grab hold of her and start hammering away." (C on Beyoncé’s "Rocket," 24:23)
• "You're my best friend. I like you more than any other human. You are the greatest thing that I've got." (C quoting viral dog video, 30:13)
• "ASU is number one... that's when we were great and that's when football was good." (C, 39:52)
• "You can’t make pants that button—they’re not pants!" (C, 47:28)
• "If it’s moving four seconds a year... nobody on the planet’s gonna be here by the time it hits zero." (C, 51:17)
• "It’s all about clicks, all about advertising dollars, all about the news jumping on crazy." (C, 53:37)

---

Segment Timestamps Overview

• [00:00–00:39] – Sponsor message, shotgun intro
• [00:39–09:43] – Zips Restaurant Raids discussion
• [10:25–18:31] – Gilbert scandal/crime story
• [18:41–26:40] – Music/sex song discussion
• [26:48–29:39] – Cleaning pranks, AI/STD chat
• [29:39–33:20] – Dog love emotional segment
• [33:29–36:18] – Vegas contest brainstorming
• [36:18–39:42] – Sydney Sweeney PR stunt
• [39:52–43:56] – ASU and STDs feature
• [44:00–50:25] – Homemade jeans & young adult life riffing
• [50:35–54:10] – Doomsday clock, news skepticism, wrap-up banter

---

Tone & Style

The episode is packed with sarcastic wit, locally flavored stories, and free-association riffs. The team employs an irreverent, bro-banter style with sharp barbs, playful self-mockery, and a willingness to push the boundaries on sensitive issues—all while mixing meaningful commentary with comic exaggeration.

---

For Listeners Who Missed It

This is a classic HMS episode: major local news turned inside out, jaw-dropping crime recaps, raucous debates over sex playlists, sentimental detours about dogs, absurd takes on viral memes, and closing wisdom about not buying into media panic. Whether you want laughs, gossip, or just a no-BS digest of the day’s weirdest stories, Holmberg and crew deliver it in spades.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it.

[C]

Really?

[B]

That simple?

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[D]

Morning sickness.

[C]

The old method of treatment for a.

[D]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[C]

And I also like that. We are. We're cool, Phoenix. We're cool. You guys are cool. It's a cooler. It's a cooler place. Like, a little more relaxed. I think we've got that. It's gonna get a little weird. Is it? To put the Parada del Solar, one of those parades coming up here for Spanish? It might get a little weird for that Saturday because might be a little lightly attended.

[E]

Well, yeah, I think it's gonna be.

[C]

A little less than normal. But yesterday, all the Zips got raided. And ironically, I have not been to Zips in a long time, a very long time. And our boy Hanson pops up yesterday and says, meet me for lunch at Zips, like he knew something.

[A]

Oh, you went, oh, oh, I didn't.

[C]

Cuz I've been feeling so cruddy. So I'm like, ugh. He wanted me to bring that bush baby that was crawling around on me yesterday. You still got the bush baby. Meet me at Zips. I didn't. But I get the text a little bit later. It says, good thing you didn't show up. So that Homeland Security came barging in, started knocking people out. It was great. And the reason Phoenix is cooler is because the first comment I saw on this wasn't crazy political nuts. It was a threat of people going, I hope it wasn't for the killer zipperitas. Like, everybody here was worried that our drinks were gonna get taken. They did. And the wings are gonna stink for a couple hours. My buddy Jose Meza, he went driving by one last night, and he wanted to go get those golden honeys, which are very good if you've ever had. No, they're just like wings are. Yeah, they're wings. They're really good. And they're like a honey, but they've got a. I don't know how they dip them different, but they're just a different color.

[A]

Let's go today for lunch.

[C]

You know what? It's probably.

[A]

Well, we should be able to get right in.

[C]

Yeah. Service might be a little different today, but. Yeah, so we're cooler. We're cool. Nobody. Now they did start to protest a little, and pepper ball started to fly around. That'll happen. But, you know, they had a couple of zips with some pepper ball. Well, they did all of them. They went to, like, yeah, 10 or 12 different places and just. They knocked them all out. Which makes me wonder, you know, what Zips up to that. They were the first and only ones to get, like, rated. At every location, you know, there's certain people. And it was homeland security. They walked in like cops. The one lady said there were like 30 people that just. Back door, front door just came in. What's going on at zips? That's more than immigration. And if it's not, you think it would have been like a bunch of different places, but it was just zips. So color me skeptical on whether or not this goes one way or the other. Zips was. Zips was the target.

[E]

Interesting.

[C]

So I wish I'd have gone to lunch. Like, this is the kind of stuff I miss all the time. Like weddings that have a fight. I usually leave early at lunch at the time. Oh, it would have been great. Look, deep down, and I don't care what anybody thinks of this. I want to be adjacent to a pepper balling. I want to see it. I don't want to get pepper balled. I'm going to be officer super cooperative. I'm not going to be one of those guys that's fighting back all the time and screaming at you and yelling. I'm just going to be an observer. But I want to get into a situation like, oh, he shot him with a. Or that. Remember that beanbag we all got excited about? That guy got hit in the nuts a few years ago in the bean bag, and it just kept rotating through everybody's feet. Awesome. I don't necessarily agree or disagree with all things that are going on, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be near a pepperballing. And I do. I want to see that. I want to see what leads to it. I want to be firsthand. I don't want to get somebody else's video anymore and judge it. I think that's my. My main point with my brain is I'm tired of not knowing for sure what I'm looking at, if it's real or not. If I could see the pepper balling, I'd be like, oh, that guy didn't do anything. Or, that guy should have gotten shot with real bullets. Like, I don't want. I'm so tired of watching things on TV and thinking this is. Maybe it's real. I don't know what's real anymore, so I have to see it with my own eyes. I want to be Pepperball adjacent. I want, like, the old Quiznos commercials. They got a pepper bar. I want to be close to the pepper balling and all the stuff that goes on with it because, frankly, it's exciting. We talk about it a lot. But Brett asked me if I knew who owns Zips.

[E]

Zips. And I just remembered, I do know the guy. I mean, I've met him several times.

[A]

See, I knew it. That's why I went right to the source.

[C]

You, of course, you know the owner of Zip.

[E]

They're good operators, too.

[C]

Well, sure, they got a bunch of successful stores, but they're up to something. Yeah, this wasn't a random thought that they're like, how about all this?

[E]

For sure?

[C]

Like, they didn't just draw out of a hat and go, all right, we're raiding Zips today. There's something they know. They have to. This guy says, james says, I live right around the corner from a Zips. We go there all the time. It's so convenient. And I got to know the staff. I don't think this was ICE specific. One of the cops mentioned that it's a money thing, laundering investigation. And they left with a bunch of boxes and documents. It sounds like ICE was invited along to pick up the scraps. Yeah, this one wasn't. And that's the thing is, like, again, because people are so quick to jump to go, oh, this has to be an immigration raid. Because think about it. If you thought that was an immigration raid, deep down, you know that a lot of the kitchen staff is probably not here legally. So, like, you're mad, but you know why they're there. In the back of your mind, it turns out, I'll say it. They're Jews running the place. And that's why there's a money laundering thing. Of course we want to be racist. Let's Go all the way around the block.

[A]

You can say that, though.

[C]

I can talk about that. It's my J word. Sure. But they wouldn't have gotten caught, so must have been some Irishman got involved or something. Whatever.

[E]

It's like sports betting or something.

[C]

I don't know. That big a raid they get. You got to be putting some serious money in, especially all 15 stores or 12 stores or whatever. All of them. That's an awful large sports gambling operation considering we all have sportsbooks in her hands now. Yeah, it's.

[E]

I'm just trying to think of.

[C]

Yeah, it used to be something like bookies and like, this place is the place to go, and they could, you know, now, I mean, you'd have to be doing something pretty crazy. Now. There possibly some sort of illegal gambling thing going on that's way bigger than you can imagine, but it's pretty. Pretty big deal. Yeah. They said that it was also related to ID theft. They were stealing people's credit card information. You know, let's start betting. I said. I say the owner was cleaning money for the Jewish mob. It's a hunch, maybe. Is there a Jewish mob here in Phoenix? They've been quiet. That's awesome. And they run Zips.

[A]

Wait. Supposed to be.

[C]

That's exactly how it's supposed to be.

[A]

I just can't believe they rounded up so many zips over there.

[C]

Now. Hold on. You can't. That's not what happened. It is. They round up all the zips.

[A]

All 12.

[E]

Sounds horrible.

[C]

The Zips are part of some sort of a racist raid. I love the zips. I hope they don't get in trouble. But. Yeah. So it's weird. And I don't know if they're gonna stay open or what happened, but I was. I was so close, and I didn't do it. I just. Because of this stupid glop. You can hear it living in my throat. I'm just like. I'm just gonna lay down and rest some. I can't.

[E]

I can't get to them all. John.

[C]

Well, plus, I know I want to go, but I don't want to go to him after. I want to be there for the birth. I don't want to go chase. It's like women. You don't want to chase one. You want them to like you. You want them to reach out to you every once in a while. You want. You want to. You know, it's not. Dudes who chase are always, like, standing alone at the end or screaming at something stupid. You want them to. You want it to happen naturally. I don't want to go to it after it's happened. That's. That's dumb. Anybody can do that. I want to be in the mix. And adjacent to pepperballing, they haven't posted.

[A]

Anything on their page since December. So, like I was in their Facebook. See if there's. Oh, we'll be open today. Yeah.

[C]

I wonder if they are.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know.

[C]

It's a good question. Yeah, I don't know. It's. It's a very strange thing that happened, but. God, I was close. I was so good. Hanson had you text me an hour earlier. There's a chance. I was feeling pretty good when I left work. It's just coughing a little bit, but I'm like, I'm just tired and I'm like, I'll just go home and clean it up. I go lay down for a little bit. Take one more of those dayquil things. That's supposed to keep you awake, but doesn't. You just, you know, it went away for a couple hours and, and, and I get it. And Hanson was there. That son of a. Could have been me.

[A]

So was he there for it? Was he there during the.

[C]

Yeah, he was. He was. He and his buddy were there for. He got somebody else to go with him in there. Like some 80 year old man for. At his work.

[E]

And the raid happened.

[C]

Yeah, he's good to go.

[A]

Probably got a free meal out of it.

[C]

Yeah. I wonder if they.

[A]

Oh, for sure they're not checking out, you know.

[C]

Yeah, everybody out. I wonder how much you finished? Did you get a to go box? Yeah, you're gonna get a box. Homeland Security. Could you reach over and get one of those Styrofoam?

[A]

I need a refill over here real quick.

[C]

I got half a Zipperita and then I just ordered one. Come on.

[D]

There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[C]

Here's a fun one. And Brady, you should know about this. This happened in your hood. See that dude in Gilbert?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

It was drugging his wife.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And then letting dudes come over and have sex with her.

[E]

What? And they had. Yeah, Multiple pictures.

[C]

Loads of them. And Reddit ads. He'd knock her out and go on Reddit and go, all right, we got about an hour and a half. Anybody in? And they'd show up. I don't know what's worse, the dude drugging her or the guys in the car on the way over.

[E]

And then her finally discovering, I don't think something's right here.

[C]

She's the one who called the cops. She found his Reddit ad. That's how she, that's how he got busted. He left his computer on the Reddit.

[E]

Fell asleep for a long time.

[C]

Her ass always hurt. And she's like, oh. And she turned the computer on to like, do some Pinterest. And the next thing you know, she's got like, wait a tick, that's my ass. And I have been extra sleepy. Yeah, dude is. I think we maybe have to put him into the category of like our first one of the year.

[E]

Yeah, that would be a shame.

[C]

But I don't know who to put in there.

[E]

Shame him or the 15 others.

[C]

The dudes that rolled over to the house, like the Nathan Sutherlands of the world that came by. I mean, this is a sinner comes before you and begged for forgiveness.

[A]

Yeah, I, I, I don't call the above.

[C]

Yeah, I think, yeah, I'm pretty sure all of it applies here. We don't have the names of the other guys, but yeah, she, she called the cops. She's like, I went through my husband's phone and there were pictures of me and they were asking if they want to have sex with this. And people showed up and they arrested another guy too. But the investigation was in December. She contacted the cops. She's using her husband's phone now. If you are. Look, I don't want to defend this guy or give him hints or clues, but Brett, in the future, if you're selling your sleepy wife for sex and she says, can I see your phone for a second? No, no.

[A]

You have a burner.

[C]

You have a burner. What are you doing letting that be the day to day phone? First off, Boo says, anyway, she's using her phone transactions through jitterbug. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Or just pigeons, like, be smart. He's 38 years old and she's found it. It was in October and so she reported and found, found the photos and video of her being sexually assaulted by guys she's never seen before. She had no memory of any of it. According to the documents, the victim was hesitant to come forward because of her husband was like, look, I'll take the kids and say, you're in on this.

[E]

Yeah. Threaten to take the kids.

[C]

And the Gilbert cops, they say, this is tremendous courage and it is by the woman. This is insane. Insane to come forward and this is as bad as it gets. Investigators believe the assaults happened over the course of a year and he recorded each encounter. And on January 3rd, he was arrested and booked into the thing. 12 charges. And I mean, anything you can tag onto this dude. They also arrested a 41 year old man who was allegedly involved in one of them. He was booked on one count of assault. During an interview with detectives, the suspect reported admitting to using Reddit to message other people to meet up as friends. And then he's like, I needed a lawyer. His name's being withheld though, so we can't really put him through shame yet. But that was over there in beautiful downtown Gilbert. You probably know that guy. You've probably wandered up to his door and bothered him about this.

[E]

Good guy.

[C]

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Didn't seem like that. Would have never guessed. I don't have Reddit. I never go on that.

[E]

I was aware.

[A]

His wife's always sleepy, but, you know, don't care.

[C]

Okay. I'm keeping out of that. Those are those moments where I'm like, wait, he did what now?

[E]

But. But when I first. When I saw that over the weekend, I mean, where is that?

[C]

Yeah, you wanted to walk over and meet them. You're busy bodying over to that house.

[E]

It's gotta be in these. It's gotta be in the shady parts of Gilbert.

[C]

You think?

[E]

No, that's what I thought is. But yeah, you just don't know.

[C]

I look for that stuff. I look for age, name, and then if I. If, like. And then immediately think, I wonder if he's a listener. Like, those are the. I automatically see criminals and think, I wonder if he's on like our Facebook or Instagram or something. I never look, but I should. Is he following?

[E]

There was a guy the other day.

[C]

Oh, I've seen a couple where I'm like, oh, we lost one. Yeah, we lost one. Yeah, I see that. I don't see a lot of, you know, sometimes. Yeah, no, there's a few. That's pretty obvious. It's like, you might as well just go on the KUP stickers.

[A]

Four people already are sympathetic listeners.

[C]

Was she hot, bro, I see you. That's not good. My first.

[E]

We'll determine how bad it is.

[C]

I've gotten to this. I've gotten to this weird stage in my life where I'm like, was I ever at that guy's house? Like, I'm clear. What's the story? Like, I don't want to know if it's. Unless it's real close to me. I'm like, all right, do I have to explain anything? I've never. I don't think that would be something I'd be again, that's an. It's so easy to avoid.

[E]

But to be in a picture, you know, randomly taking all the pictures you've.

[C]

Taken over the years, but never with a incapacitated naked lady that I saw on the Internet and said, I'm gonna go over to that guy.

[E]

No, this would be hilarious.

[A]

She recognized her own ass.

[C]

Yeah, Pretty impressive. That's me getting railed in there. This and she wasn't picking up. She said I was using my husband's phone. No, you weren't. You were going through it and good thing. But ladies, don't get all excited and think that we're all doing that and start searching your man's phone. Most of us are not. You know, we're happy when you're asleep. We're not gonna rustle at it. We're like, good a little time. A little time. But for crying out loud, who? I don't know. I honestly think the dude driving over is even worse than the guy offering it up. Like he's taking because they're doing.

[E]

Contacting other guys, going over to dude's house.

[C]

There was a market for it. That's crazy. What is the. I mean, the reward to the risk on that is zero. Hey, I just talk to her.

[E]

You want to bone some guy's wife.

[C]

Talk to your wife. She's married to a crazy person. There's a good chance she's crazy too. Have a sit down and just say, look, I've been thinking. I want to watch you get nailed by a bunch of dudes. And I know I want to do it legally. And if she says no, then. All right, don't. But don't knock her out. At least give her fair warning because if you have that talk with her and then you still have that wild eyed look and she's gonna go, he's gonna knock me out and do this anyway. At least give her a chance to escape. Crazy.

[E]

That's a little weird in itself because every one of those guys needs to be nailed. I mean, if she's.

[C]

Oh yeah, and there's.

[E]

Imagine trying that.

[C]

How dumb are you? Yeah, like Brady, you and I. I'm like, hey, I got a friend of mine's got his wife passed out. Wanna go have sex with her? Sure. And then the two of us go over there and the guy starts filming it and we're like throwing thumbs up and like we're going to jail. Eiffel Tower, no matter what. Like it's. You're only going to Enjoy that for a few minutes. And then you're going to just. Somebody's going to find that somebody's been lit. Like they said, it's been going on for over a year. Some dude was the first one that, like, you know, just. I'm here about the Reddit ad. Yeah, she's out. You got 20 minutes. Go. All right, scramble back there. I'm just going to film you. Yeah, that's fine. And he's been living with this for a year, waiting for the other shoe to drop, because you know it's gonna. These creeps need to be like. Like, if you're on the tape banging the incapacitated lady, call me a fascist, but do we really need a court hearing for that?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Diddy got a safe house in Gilbert now, is that what's going on or what?

[C]

Isn't that one of those things we can just bring back the guillotine and just go, that dude right there. Oh, I can be reformed. It's too late.

[D]

There's something. Something. Check out Hornberg's Morning Sickness podcast at 98 KUPD do Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[C]

And then yesterday, we did a thing. Brett, get your. Get your fingers ready to start typing this in. Remember how we did the. The genres of music where you're more than likely to be a philanderer and jazz came up number one, which was kind of surprising to all of us. Then I saw a thing that said, these are the top nine songs, and I don't know why they only didn't. Although this one jumps up to 21. So they had the top nine listed. 21 seductive tracks to. To have sex with, not sex with the track. You know what I'm saying? And some of these are like. And you know who's not on there again? Same bands we were talking about the Angels of Death. And. Yeah, yeah, they're not on there. Surprisingly, not there. But Sex with Me by Rihanna, which is a solid one if you grab that. That's. That's number 12, but all the way back, like number 21. And it kind of stinks to have to be the 21st one. It's called Folded by Kaylani.

[A]

This one's on there, though, right?

[C]

Who's it? The Rihanna one. Oh, no, it's not. It's not. Lou's not on there. No, they have old. They've always ready.

[E]

They do. Wow. That's. All right. What.

[C]

What do you want me to pull up here? Try the number 21, which is folded by Kani K E H L A I N I. And I'm not heard it. But it's. These are tracks to set the mood. And we did that yesterday and it was all jazz stuff. There's Kehlani trying to have sex with it. All right, baby. Get to it. Kehlani.

[E]

Jesus.

[C]

Oh. It's about it. She's trying to get her ex back. That's fine. I could. I could have that in the back room. Some candles. And then another one was Skin by Dijon. D I J O N. I don't know any of these. I want to though. Yep. Still no.

[A]

That's all day Z since you know.

[C]

You think this is.

[A]

You don't.

[C]

A little bit. Got a good rhythm.

[A]

Blow my mind with this one.

[C]

A white guy can keep the beat to this. Pump, pump.

[A]

Just blow my mind.

[C]

All right. That's not terrible. I don't think you know who's on there. Is the song Closer. Not that one by Kings of Leon which surprised me. And that was in the top 10. Where was that? The sixth stripping with sexual tension. Caleb Followell's rugged vocals yearn for a lover over a dark throbbing bass line. Gritty, sultry tone captures the obsessive pull of desire consumed by shock. Port of Subs. No.

[A]

Porta Said.

[C]

Oh. Brady probably heard Ports. I do that one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This is. This is biting people in the lips and stuff. Music. Yeah. This is not rough, but it's a little bit pushy. Cinemax soundtrack. Yeah. Yeah, Exactly. I like it though.

[A]

There's a lampshade in the way. You don't ever see the money.

[C]

It's just. Yeah.

[A]

It's boring.

[C]

Brett knows it. You could have directed a cinema. The two of us could have directed an amazing Cinemax movie.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Why is there a plant on the.

[C]

Coffee table right there? Right as she spreads her legs, the camera swings across and there's like a jewelry box on her counter. I get the metaphor. The box. Block the box. But come on. It's a good one. I like this. And a number. Wicked Games by the Weekend. Not Chris Isaac.

[E]

But it's the Chris Isaac cover.

[C]

I don't know. No, Says it's from I love the Weekend. I think he's great. But he did Wicked Games and Wicked Game is the Chris Isaac. So if you got the weekend. Dark and moody, irresistibly alluring Strike from the house of Balloons. Tormented yet undeniably sexy is lost on a drug fueled self destructive path Given into desires that are all consuming and toxic. He has driving humpbeats.

[E]

Dirty mouth Danny.

[C]

Cusses able and then the number one one was Rocket by Beyonce. I think I never heard that one. I'm not a Beyonce. She's got a song called Rock It. She said this is the number one song according to this. This should be the clean version of Sex too. Let me sit this bag. Everything's just for white guys to keep a rhythm. Yeah, it's like, it's slow enough that you can kind of do the rock.

[E]

Okay, I'm finished.

[C]

Would Brady make it through the so.

[A]

Six and a half minutes, man, to.

[C]

Me, this is going. These are the types of songs where it's all pre planned. Like she's got to go get dressed up. You got candles.

[A]

You have a Spotify playlist.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And it just kind of rolls and she comes out and slowly takes her clothes off and then you kiss for a minute. Stop all that and drink champagne. It's like an awful lot going on. You can't just grab hold of her and start hammering away, like from Minimum Wage by they Might Be Giants and just get it out of the way. We're almost.

[A]

I still like more of the old school stuff.

[C]

Oh, me too. This isn't a. A road head song.

[A]

This is what popped up. How about this?

[C]

Oh, Isley Brothers, man. This is on there too. Oh, is it? Yeah. Isley Brothers were on too. This one is where you go. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is the SOS between the sheets. Yeah. Yeah. This is number seven. This is sweet. And again, this is quite 12:30 right there. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Then big papa pops in your head. Picture that big fat, lisping weirdo. All right, ladies. If you hear a dude playing this, it's a move.

[A]

Don't fall asleep.

[C]

I got it on Reddit. We're all right. Yeah. All of these, though, are like. They're the ones that, like, play Minimum Wage by they Might Be Giants because that's mine. It's fantastic. It's a great sex song. Gets right to the point. And you got it. Yeah, it's a great one. And this is. This is minimum wage. Yeah. And it's over. Good night. Good night, honey. 18 second song that I can get behind. Play it again. Oh, man, that gets me excited.

[A]

Oh, we still got 15 seconds left.

[C]

It has a long fade. That's for cleanup. Minimum wage. Yeah. I like the whip. She should be finished now. You should be asleep now. That's one of that should be on the list.

[D]

There's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's.

[E]

Morning Sickness Someone tweeted an image of a note that was left for a person who was hired to clean the home of these folks. And the note said to our cleaner, we had. We hid 100 mini ducks around the apartment. We do this to ensure the job well done.

[C]

What a dick.

[E]

Please leave all the ducks in this jar. There are also photos of some of the hidden ducks. It's unclear if the person who posted it was a cleaner or the person who hired the cleaner was just a friend, but that went on and went viral. Majority of the people were very upset at that.

[C]

Look, if you're happy with the job, you know it. You don't need a test. You walk in and you go, they didn't do a very good job. Or they did do a good job. I got that homoglow thing for the rental house. I. I found a great cleaner. I also know that the one dude that was terrible at it was the worst ever.

[F]

Same company?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. But I got this one lady. She's showing up today. In fact, she's great. She's there for a couple hours. She gets done. I'm not.

[E]

It took three. We got one.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to, like, repaint the place. Just make it clean and smell nice and, like, the bathrooms are good. Keep it tidy.

[E]

According to a new survey of Gen z adults ages 18 to 29, 20% say they have asked AI chatbots about STIs or STDs, and 10% admit they've asked the AI chatbot to help diagnose an STD.

[C]

Does this look infected? AI.com.

[F]

Can you analyze this photo?

[C]

What do you think?

[E]

Among the gen zers who asked AI and then later got tested, 31 said the chatbot misdiagnosed them.

[C]

It's not a doctor.

[E]

Even though more than half say they included photos along with all the symptoms and they were experiencing.

[C]

If you are taking pictures of bumps on your wiener, take your shots with the doctor, because that doesn't happen. Just. That's not from laundry detergent.

[A]

I just want to see chat. GPT said you got a bumpy crank.

[C]

What do you think I want? Brett GPT. Well, first off, let's analyze what's going on here. Jeez, it's an aggressive AI. You just took a picture of your bumpy dick and sent it to me. What do you think I'm gonna say to you? I was kind of hoping you'd say it was my laundry detergent or maybe I rubbed up against the stucco wall. Did you? No. Well, then you got an std, dumbass. Oh, you misdiagnosed me. It was my detergent.

[E]

No, that's a bottle stuck on it.

[C]

What were you doing? Having sex with barbed wire? Go to the doctor.

[E]

A pool of 2,000 U.S. adults who own a dog found that 87% consider their canine to be their best pal. 97 consider them to be as much a member of the family as anyone else. And 3/4 have shared dialogue with their furry friends. And they say they use a different voice. A dog voice.

[C]

I speak to my dog. I. I don't cry easily. But the other day, somebody sent me a video of a guy, and he had his black lab.

[E]

Just a blind one.

[C]

No, it's a black lab. Just the one buying a toilet. No, no. I'll finish the story if you guys shut up the thing. And he's staring into the camera. He's got the thing on the camera, and the dog's face is staring right at it. And he goes, I need you to know this. You're my best friend. I like you more than any other human. And you need to realize that you are the greatest thing that I've got. And I'm looking at it, and the dog's just staring at the camera with these loving eyes. He's not, like, doing anything special. And the dog looks away for a second like, okay. And I just went. I'm done. I burst into flames. I was a mess. I was a disaster. I'm like, that's beautiful. And he just wanted to tell his dog and hope, look, I'm going again. It. Hope. It registered with him. Like, you don't understand, but I do, because you think about it from a dog's perspective. He's like, you're. You're my world. Like, the dog's like, best friend. That's it. You're everything.

[F]

You have to have had that moment.

[C]

Oh, I have him with Bus and Jack. All of them. All of them. I. Eventually, I make eye contact, and I'm little Frankie, who's blind and old, and I had that moment with him on the couch a while back, and I'm. I just stared at him. I had to. I put my mouth right on his ear because he can't hear very well. And I have to talk high because he doesn't hear low tones. You know, you're the greatest thing I've.

[E]

Ever had in my life, Right?

[C]

And his little ears pop up. I don't know what he knows, but you just want to tell him they're the best. And my tears rolling down my face when that dude's telling his black lab. Just need to let you know this. And I'm like, oh, and waterworks.

[F]

Are all your dogs cuddlers?

[C]

No, not all of them. Jack's neurodivergent. He's got all sorts of. He's on the spectrum. He is on the spectrum. Like, he makes decisions sometimes around the house. So he'll just go, like, I don't go there anymore. So instead of jumping, we have to move it. You have to move a full table, like a side table for him to come in a room. Now, if it's next to the couch.

[F]

Looks at it, and he stops.

[C]

Yeah, he just stands in the other room. Move it four feet, and then he'll come onto the couch. Couch. It's not blocking anything. But he doesn't like it there. And it can't be close. It has to be, like, a foot away, and it has to be, like 4ft to the right for him some days. And then sometimes just. He just stands in one room and he's like, I'm not going in there. And he stands. He'll get on the couch and just face the wall and just like, kind of. And he'll look at you every once in a while and go. It's like just. He looks away, eats these Aspergers. He's hilarious. But he's got it. He's neurodivergent. Like, no doubt. Bus not someone. Bus is the cuddler. Bus won't let me. Bus will sit. He's on me. If I sit down, he's on top.

[F]

Well, just 100 pounds of torpedo.

[C]

He just. And he finds me immediately, like, okay, we're sitting, and then it's like, you're not going anywhere for a while. God forbid I lay down. He's a belt. This goes right across. And I have no problem with it because he's better than anything I know on the planet. See, look at. My eyes are well enough. Nothing better.

[D]

There's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Homburg's.

[C]

Morning Sickness, remember, for our 21st birthday, which got delayed a little bit, so we made it our 22nd birthday. We flew everybody up on a private jet. Got rooms at Resorts World. I got concert to shine down. We went and saw Adam Ray live at the Comedy Store. Poolside cabana all day at the Aria. Hanging out, drinking, having a great time. It was amazing. Private jet home. Everybody walked away going, that is a class operation now.

[E]

Shots of Waffle House liquor.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Brought that waffle. Waffle liquor. That was great.

[E]

Eggo.

[C]

Eggo liquor. What was it? Phenomenal. It's a great week, you know, a lot of fun, good group of people. We had an odd number of limbs, cuz one of the dudes had one leg, Peg.

[A]

Oh yeah, Peg was awesome.

[C]

And he was a great guy. Miss him? You never contacted after. Like we broke up right after the.

[A]

Once at an eos.

[C]

And he wasn't mad at you? No, it was great. He had a blast. Okay, good. Because the chick that brought him was mad at the end. At another chick. Leave it to that. Yeah, two girls got rods. So we're thinking like for the new one. Since the station won't pay for it, I have to foot the bill ourselves. That we put together the dirtiest Vegas trip in the history of trips where we give five or six listeners a trip to Vegas. Except for can't do the private jet, we're thinking maybe greyhound. Only one person. Like you can't bring a guest and all the winners have to share a room at Circus Circus. Would you still go?

[E]

Who's in?

[C]

Yeah. Who's raise a hand.

[E]

There's a lot.

[C]

The 25th anniversary would be like, oh boy. And I want to come back down. One person like, I don't know. We went with nine and we came back with eight. Like what happened? We don't know. He's still up there. But yeah, we're putting it together. So we'll get something together. I've got a couple ideas, but everything I say is like. Like if it costs more than $100 though, like they just start lighting fires and. So you thought Zips was laundering money? I don't know what's going on up there. And. And you know, you know where our headquarters are. Minneapolis. So probably gonna get ready.

[E]

They're busy.

[C]

They're busy avoiding it anyway. So we're working on that for you. 25th anniversaries are always good. And man, we need to just do an entire station of love making music because my emails won't stop. That's all I've been answering this morning. If you've got, we'll put a whole playlist. Maybe Valentine's Day, that's what we'll do.

[E]

That's good.

[C]

It'll be a Valentine's Day.

[A]

12:30 Guy come in, host it for us.

[C]

Kiss 12:30, 30s, KUPD love making morning. Yeah, I like that a lot. Yeah, we don't have to play because boy, the suggestion. And that one guy came in with who was the band?

[A]

Sleep Token.

[C]

Sleep token. It was a little sleepy.

[A]

You put the broad to sleep.

[C]

But I could see. Yeah, we. We weren't like. But he was like, this is a good one. It gets every. He made the bold claim. Every woman age 21 to 35 moistens up to this. They better be standing in the rain, because it was a little bit slow. But we'll throw them all in there. Valentine's Day's right around the corner. It's incredible. So get on that. On top of it all, Sydney Sweeney has pulled off one of the greatest things I've seen in a long time, and I'm proud of her top. Well, yeah, she went up to.

[E]

She did.

[C]

She put a bunch of bras up on the Hollywood sign, and she got a permit to film and all this. But you're not allowed to touch the letters. I didn't know that touch. She knew that.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, the greatest. And. But everybody's acting like, oh, she's gonna get in huge trouble. She's loving every second of this. It's the best thing ever.

[E]

Yep.

[C]

And now she's showing, like. So Sydney Sweeney started her, like. It's like a lingerie bra thing. The problem is, is it's sy rn.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

The problem is she's the model for it. Nobody's gonna look like that. Like, if this. Like, I wouldn't.

[E]

That is.

[C]

You have to have a very specific set of cans to make Sydney Sweeney's stuff look right.

[E]

Well, maybe they'll have other women modeling the stuff, too.

[C]

They better.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

This is the first time I've ever been four. Like, show a fat girl in that. Because it's not fair.

[A]

It's going to happen. It's going to be eggs.

[C]

Well, pigs have to get involved. It's the way we work now. But, I mean, you gotta remember that Sydney Sweeney has such an incredible body right now. Like, that's the body of choice that we're looking past that. Sometimes she looks downsy. Like, that's okay. Nobody's that's winning. And I blame her for that whole movement on the Internet of hot girls with down syndrome walking around. That whole AI Thing that gets going. You know, you see that girl walking through the mall.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And they show her from behind, just walking. And like, my God, that's the most beautiful. And then it turns around and she's got down syndrome. And nobody says, oh, that's terrible. Everybody turn around again. There's something wrong with all of us. But Sydney Sweeney is. Everybody's acting like, oh, she's in trouble. She's Got this going on and all. No, there's no trouble here.

[E]

Pay the fine.

[C]

Yeah. And get all the free advertising ever just for putting bras on the Hollywood sign. And by the way, who would have seen that? You wouldn't have been driving along down there in Hollywood.

[E]

See the. From the picture.

[C]

Yeah. Basically the only way to actually know what was up there. Like there's something on the O. That's all you. There's something up there on the.

[E]

Oh, and I'm not sure they can. I don't know if they could prevent her from using the photo.

[C]

I don't know.

[E]

That would be the only thing.

[C]

Look, they're showing all the videos. They're showing all the videos of her getting. Ah, I'm up there. I'm not supposed to be doing this. It's. It's brilliant marketing. And here we are. It's free advertising for syrn, which I didn't know existed until she did this stunt. It's brilliant. And that's what radio used to do. Radio used to take the risk to get everybody to yell at them. So we get free advertising for stuff. And then we could pay for trips to Vegas rather than put you up five at a time in one room. Circus Circus. I think it would be a good trip. I think we could make it work.

[D]

Get something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast at 98kupd.comberg's morning sickness.

[C]

Brady just brought up STDs because that's what he usually does when there's a song on Fascinating talks. He loves them. He won't shut up about it. And because you said that, I turned my phone on and hit a little button there. And it's first story was top five schools with STD STD rates. And because they've been on top of the list before, they have sent this particular outlet a cease and desist for ever mentioning them. So number one was a school called Attorney Stop University, but otherwise known as asu. They were number one, according to this, that they're the. They're back to be in a party school, which I say, all right, good job. ASU is number one back, back on top man, which is fantastic. We used to be the school everybody went to. It was like they're. It was the safety school for everyone. And then they got all serious about business and now they're back on top for being the STD school. And that's what we were known for. And that's when we were great and that's when football was good. Look what look what happened. Football got good again. STD rates shot through the roof. You get a good football team and your college campus becomes more fun. They were terrible while they were trying to be a business school, and now look at them. Good for you, asu. Iowa is second. And I would say that's just because there's nothing else to do.

[F]

Man, empty cornfields.

[A]

What's going on?

[C]

Yeah, I can't imagine that. Yeah, I don't. Yeah. Arizona was 17th. U of A. Keeping it alive, but not great. But ASU number one in the nation.

[F]

ASU is so huge.

[C]

Now, tell me when the last time ASU topped any of the polls. Ever been a long time.

[F]

When they used to do the college girl play, playboy issue?

[C]

The Tempe 12. Yeah, that's right. That was the last time. And back when we were a party school and the STDs were number. But back when we're number one. Let's put ASU back on the map. They got to quit putting cease and desist letters out to these organizations.

[A]

They're at the top of the poll.

[E]

Number one on two. Two separate polls. Because you're.

[C]

Oh, that's a. That's a different poll. Yeah, that's Coaches and Apoll at number two. Coaches and AP poll have ASU on top. Where's Iowa in your poll?

[E]

Not even in.

[C]

Not in the 20. Wow. One of them. The one I had was.

[F]

Somebody gotta look at the methodology.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Who knows?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Who's picking on yours?

[E]

You know, volume or by. I mean, ASU is the largest college. Right.

[C]

Mine was std check.

[F]

ASU.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Stdcheck.com was the one that got. That seems like a legitimate source. Yeah, it was Iowa, Florida State, Alabama and Auburn.

[F]

Not a URL you choose. If you're just a couple of punks trying to throw up a website.

[C]

No, no. You're pretty specifically stuck to focusing on STDs. You're not going to drift off into like, what do you guys think of this ICE situation? Like, Minneapolis has an st. STD problem and an ICE issue.

[E]

That's one of the sub articles.

[C]

Yeah, let's check. How many ice agents have STDs? I don't. They're not gonna get. Yeah, you were pretty specific. But there you go. Doxed me with STDs.

[B]

Number one.

[C]

ASU. Congrats, gang. And to the ladies out there, that's pretty good stuff. You know, so long as it's not the. The heavy hitters, like. And hepatitis is cured. That's another one. I Was talking to a doctor the other day. He goes, hep C. I used to be a mess. I said, come in. Now I can get rid of it in a weekend. Like, no kidding. It's getting easier to just free up, go crazy. So go get them. Asu. I'm proud of you. I wonder, you know what they never do? Community colleges, which, you know, half the reason some of those girls have to go there is because they got those. Oh, Mesa is abs glorified high school, isn't it? No, it's actually a really good school, a good community college. But I'll tell you this, there's an awful lot of people there that made some bad decisions in high school. That made it. So their first year in college has to be mcc. And a lot of those things are related to bumps.

[F]

Tell me about it. Restaurant workers in my house.

[C]

He didn't have the bumps though.

[F]

No.

[C]

As far as you know. But he's not an MCC student either.

[F]

Nobody's thinking about it.

[C]

Well, that doesn't make him a student. No, no, we're all. I mean, I'm thinking he thought about.

[A]

Paying rent in Tucson too, but you.

[F]

Know, he didn't go that far. He does think about a lot of feeding his.

[E]

Might as well be there.

[C]

Ye. I'm thinking about being an astronaut, but I'm not doing anything about it. So I'm not gonna be an astronaut. I want to be a nurse. You're going to school for that?

[E]

No.

[C]

Then you're not going to be a nurse.

[E]

Is he still making jeans? Yeah.

[C]

Is he still making the pants?

[F]

Oh, yeah. Well, you never got your measurements.

[E]

Oh, that's true.

[C]

Yeah. There's a reason. Where does he get the denim?

[F]

Oh, he's got a huge thing of.

[C]

Denim at the house.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Just in a roll.

[F]

Not in a roll, but it's all. It's like all folded up stuff. So. Yeah, he. He made himself two pairs of jeans.

[C]

Made another out of old jeans.

[F]

No, he cut them and he bought.

[C]

A big roll of denim.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And it just sits at your house.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Waiting for orders.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

And he's thinking about going to community college. He's gonna. The only thing he has forever, he.

[F]

Isn'T great at yet. And he's still working on is the. Is the buckle or the. The button in the front.

[C]

The most crucial part of jeans.

[F]

I know, but he's got the loops and everything. He just wears a belt with it, so.

[C]

But he can't. He can't get a button right.

[F]

He gets a zipper and everything. It's Just the, the top button.

[C]

So these are appellation pants that have no button. You just tie a rope around it.

[F]

Yeah, they're Beverly Hillbillies pants.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. You need to just, you need to just cut ties.

[A]

Leave Alex Versace alone.

[C]

Jesus, enough. And he came home with a roll of denim and you were like, what's going on?

[F]

He had a whole bin full of like fabric.

[C]

Fascinating.

[A]

Where'd he get the money for that?

[C]

Yeah, Doordash.

[F]

Christmas money last year.

[C]

And it just sits at the house.

[E]

Going out of biz.

[F]

And he got that. He did that. His mom took him there and.

[C]

And then. So he comes home and just doesn't sew.

[F]

He's been working a lot, John.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[E]

Which. There's no orders.

[C]

Hold on. That's the point.

[F]

There is orders. He's got one and he's got another buddy that's got one. Lisa wants him to. To fix a pair of her pants.

[C]

Well, hem and some stuff is nice. So he could start like a little.

[F]

I tried to get him to do that.

[C]

Come here. High five. I mean, give me a hug. But can you imagine, can you imagine being like, oh, being faced with this.

[E]

Get a tough shed. Taylor shop.

[F]

It was 14 months of him not working and me trying to keep it together sanity wise. And he's been earning money and he's.

[C]

Been going the right direction, is going.

[F]

A better direction for the past couple of months.

[C]

What's up? But I don't like that you're, you know, still think he's a student in college just because he's thinking about it. Fair point. Yeah. Oh, he's an MCC kid. Oh yeah.

[F]

A father can dream.

[C]

John thinks about it all the time.

[A]

You're thinking about banging Dua Lipa too.

[C]

That's true. I do have the thoughts of Dua Lipa and I not only banging, but getting married and loving each other for the rest of our lives. That's different than like reality, bro. Yeah, bro. Thinking about being the dean of a college. Oh, well, aspirations are fun. You want a pair of pants that don't buckle. Yes. Who doesn't?

[F]

You think it's all part of the process.

[A]

No.

[C]

Like, then you can't make pants yet. You. If you can't make pants. That button. They're not pants.

[E]

It's a, A rivet.

[C]

It's a beginning. Doesn't seem hard.

[F]

Well, there's snaps, buttons.

[C]

Well, I understand all the buckling materials. Sure, sure, whatever. But go with the basics.

[F]

I don't know which one's the easiest.

[C]

And which one's you're new. Fire off a basic one he did.

[F]

It's called rope.

[C]

Death row. Death Row. Clampet pants.

[E]

The drawstrings.

[C]

Now I'm dying for a pair of these redneck waiters. They're gonna be all, I want this so bad.

[F]

They are roomy in the leg. I'll say that.

[C]

The big balloon pants he just makes giant.

[F]

I want to see wearing the Jethros, not like icp.

[C]

Tell you what, I'm gonna throw in a pair of of Toledo custom jeans for everybody who wins our contest for Vegas. You have to wear the Toledo jeans all the way around. Circus Circus.

[F]

Winston wants him to bring your own ropes.

[C]

Winston wants him to make him pants, get some measurements.

[E]

He goes, just take a 55 gallon drum. He says, hold on.

[F]

I want the whole Canadian tuxedo. I want a sleeveless Canadian.

[C]

Oh, Winston, you have to. How many buttons are on this coat? The kid will just staple it together. That's your kid going to school. He's thinking about it. So. Yeah. Yeah, he is. He's. He's mastering some things.

[E]

Kind of designer. He's making pants. But.

[C]

We talked about mcc and he goes, tell me about it. Like, why are your kids going to school? No, but he talks about it a lot. Just kick him out. Just kick him out.

[F]

There's a learning curve in that.

[C]

No, you gotta leave. I'm fine with leaving him in the house.

[F]

Not against, just.

[C]

That's hilarious. I had a rule that I had to waste my dad's money at college in order to stay at the house. So I did. It's no different than what he did. I had no goals. I was working in a restaurant and I'd take a couple classes over at a community college nearby and just keep going.

[F]

That's where I would like him to at least dip his toes in the water. He tried it down a View of A. And Japanese was hard. The other college classes were hard.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Because they were scheduled at that time that he wasn't waking up.

[C]

He's doing that. Matt Silcox says, hey, can you name those almost jeans. I like that you finish DIY the ending.

[F]

Just make it fancy and go A L, M O S. How about this?

[C]

This is a good idea. He sews up some jeans, right? And then as part of the gimmick, in the pockets are all the buckles and attachments. And then you. You pick the one you want and it feel like you're part of it. Just because he can't do that yet. He can make the loops for the rope. Oh, my God. I've never been happy to be childless. Seems awesome.

[D]

It's something something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[C]

The big headline just popped up all over the place. The people in charge of the Doomsday Clock moved at four seconds.

[A]

I'm out of here. Peace out, guys.

[C]

In the last year, it's an 80 year old clock. We are now 85 minutes to midnight. So let's do some quick math because four minutes is a big jump, right? Four seconds or four or four seconds. I'm sorry? Four seconds is a big jump. We're 85 minutes away. Move. It says it's now. Wait a minute. What did that say? It said it was four minutes closer four seconds closer to midnight than it was in 2025. So if they're moving four seconds a year, a year, we're all going to be just fine. Don't worry about it.

[A]

Can Bruce Dickinson sing that fast with that?

[C]

I mean, that's 85 seconds. 61 time, 25, 15. So that's 15 years. It moves every minute. If it's moving four seconds a year, that's a. Evidently a pretty healthy jump. So if it's moving that 15 year. Yeah, it takes 15 years to move a minute. We're not. Nobody on the planet's gonna be here by the time it hits zero. Unless they jump it up like two minutes at a time. And then isn't that just pushing it? Like then you're just. That's. It doesn't mean anything is what I'm saying. It's designed to scare you.

[E]

150 years every 10 minutes.

[C]

Forever every 10 minutes. Don't worry about it. If they're moving for. Here's the other thing. They only announce this thing when things are awful. The only time I ever hear about the Doomsday Clock is when the news cycle is in chaos. It's more ways to scare you to death and signal you to be panicked. That way you will what, tune back into news. You'll click on stuff. Once news became commercialized, it became entertainment and it became a necessity to make you have to watch.

[E]

I don't believe that clock's made by Rolex.

[C]

No, no, it's built by. It's better. It's by the atomic scientists who, you know, they're the ones who argue science all the time. And then they come up with this Sesame street clock and they move it with a hand and go see, like you did that. Move it back no. Well, if you just moved it the other way, you could give us good news. Why don't you ever do that? There isn't any. There's no good news. You're telling me Amazon prime didn't move that clock back a little bit because it's easier to be alive today than it's ever been. It's all disappearing, all this positive energy.

[E]

Santa shows up, you know, I've seen the movie.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. If we all start wishing Mary, Mary. Stupid Mary. For Mary. Mary Tyler Moore.

[E]

Merry Christmas.

[C]

Oh, oh, the merrier look. Bottom line, they never move it back. They only bring it up when our news cycles are bad. I already got emails on us. Looks like this things are not right. Like they prey on her.

[E]

Have there been.

[C]

They never go backwards.

[A]

It's all about clicks.

[C]

It is all about clicks. It's all about advertising dollars and it's all about the news jumping on crazy. So the people that have already emailed me this. Have you seen this? What does that mean? I have a doomsday clock and we're 25 years away. What does. It doesn't mean anything.

[A]

Let's call Jay Cutler and find out.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Like I said earlier, my character for kids, be aware but don't care. Be ignorant, don't ignore the world, but stop caring so much. Caring's getting us all in trouble. Hey, it's not weird.

[F]

It's pretty cool actually.

[E]

No membership fees.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.

[G]

Gut stuff might be uncomfortable for you to talk about, but it's even more uncomfortable for you to deal with. And you have better things to do this year. Don't let your gut get in the way of that. Kick off the year of the habit and get science backed digestive support during Ritual's new year sale. Their three in one clinically studied prebiotics, probiotics and postbiotic help support a balanced gut microbiome. The delayed release capsule is designed to help reach the colon where probiotics can actually survive and grow. So you can focus less on your gut and more on sharpening your salsa dancing skills or whatever your 2026 goals are. Start a habit that sticks with 40% off your first month plus a free gift with [e-mail] podcast. That's ritual.com podcast. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.