01-27-26 - Two Different Polls Have ASU At Top In Student STD Rates - Toledo Gives Update On His Denim Jean Making Son

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode: 01-27-26 – ASU Tops STD Rate Polls & Toledo’s Denim-Making Son
Date: January 27, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Main Theme Overview

This episode blends irreverent humor with local flavor as the crew discusses two viral polls placing Arizona State University (ASU) at the top of national college STD rate rankings, and shares a lively update on Toledo’s son’s ongoing (and surprisingly complex) denim jean-making hobby. The episode is packed with playful banter, good-natured ribbing, and a touch of Arizona pride.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ASU’s Notorious Return to the Top of STD Polls

[00:39 – 05:05]

• ASU ranked #1 in student STD rates according to two recent national polls. The hosts joke that this marks a return to the university's “party school” glory days.
• Holmberg recalls when ASU dominated headlines for being fun and wild rather than academically elite. He links this new ranking with the resurgence of the football program’s success, joking about the correlation:
  • “Football got good again. STD rates shot through the roof. You get a good football team, and your college campus becomes more fun.” – John Holmberg [01:07]
• They humorously discuss ASU sending cease and desist letters to outlets reporting the stats, and mock the seriousness of STDrankings.
• Other schools ranking high include Iowa, Florida State, Alabama, and Auburn—but ASU reigns supreme. University of Arizona comes in at 17th.
• Brief discussion on the poll’s methodology and how ASU’s large student body may influence the numbers.
• Side note about community colleges, with tongue-in-cheek comments about students’ “bad decisions in high school” leading to MCC (Mesa Community College) enrollment.

Notable quote:

“Let’s put ASU back on the map… Good for you, ASU. I’m proud of you.” – John Holmberg [01:46]

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2. The Evolving Reputation of ASU

[02:30 – 03:24]

• The hosts reminisce on ASU’s past reputation with references to “Playboy’s Tempe 12” and the school’s former party culture.
• They contrast this with the school’s more recent academic focus and celebrate the return to notoriety.

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3. Curing Hepatitis C & Medical Advancements

[04:01 – 04:39]

• The conversation momentarily veers into the progress of medical treatments, particularly how Hepatitis C is now easily curable:
  • “I was talking to a doctor the other day. He goes, hep C? … Come in now. I can get rid of it in a weekend.” – John Holmberg [04:04]

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4. Toledo’s Son: The Denim Jean Saga

[05:28 – 09:55]

• A running bit updates listeners on Toledo’s son, who continues making his own jeans at home, complete with various (and unfinished) closures.
• Playful ribbing about whether he’s attending college and if he’ll ever get good at making jeans—especially the all-important “button.”
• The team imagines giving away a pair of “Toledo custom jeans” as a radio contest prize, with the catch that winners must wear the unfinished, rope-belted pants in public.
• Banter about his “DIY” approaches, including suggestions to make jeans that come with all buckles/attachments separate in the pocket for users to pick-and-finish themselves.
• The hosts reference the urge for parents to both push their kids out of the house and hope they’ll stick around.

Memorable quotes:

• “He’s making pants—but he can’t get the button right.” – John Holmberg [06:14]
• “These are Appalachian pants that have no button. You just tie a rope around it.” – John Holmberg [06:24]
• “Death row Clampett pants.” – John Holmberg [08:56]
• “I've never been happier to be childless.” – John Holmberg [11:14]

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5. Parenting, College, and Kids Leaving the House

[09:59 – 12:51]

• Discussion on how Toledo’s son “talks about” but isn’t enrolled in community college—contrasting fantasy with reality in ambitions.
• Hilarious sendup of parental aspirations versus young adult realities (“A father can dream.” – Co-host, [07:55]).
• Discussion turns sentimental and teasing as the hosts talk about Brady’s daughter Kirby potentially attending university abroad—and how emotionally challenging it will be for him.
• Ribbing that Brady will be lost without his daughter, imagining him haunting high schools or “calling in from Berlin.”

Notable moments:

• “He wants it as much as he wants his two-year associate’s from MCC. He’s not doing anything about it.” – John Holmberg [11:37]
• “You’re just gonna be hanging around high schools looking for girls that look like her and just want to be her dad.” – John Holmberg [12:53]

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6. Light-hearted Closers & Familial Teasing

[12:51 – 13:37]

• The hosts end with more teasing about finding substitute “kids” and a farcical quip about crafting a noose from one of the famous rope belts.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | 01:07 | “Football got good again. STD rates shot through the roof. You get a good football team, and your college campus becomes more fun.” | John Holmberg | | 01:46 | “Let’s put ASU back on the map… Good for you, ASU. I’m proud of you.” | John Holmberg | | 04:04 | “I was talking to a doctor the other day. He goes, hep C? … Come in now. I can get rid of it in a weekend.” | John Holmberg | | 06:14 | “He’s making pants—but he can’t get the button right.” | John Holmberg | | 06:24 | “These are Appalachian pants that have no button. You just tie a rope around it.” | John Holmberg | | 08:56 | “Death row Clampett pants.” | John Holmberg | | 11:14 | “I've never been happier to be childless.” | John Holmberg | | 07:55 | “A father can dream.” | Co-host | | 11:37 | “He wants it as much as he wants his two-year associate’s from MCC. He’s not doing anything about it.” | John Holmberg | | 12:53 | “You’re just gonna be hanging around high schools looking for girls that look like her and just want to be her dad.” | John Holmberg |

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Segment Timestamps

• ASU STD Polls & Reactions: [00:39] – [05:05]
• ASU’s Party Rep & Playboy Nostalgia: [02:30] – [03:24]
• Medical Progress with Hep C: [04:01] – [04:39]
• Toledo’s Denim-Making Son: [05:28] – [09:55]
• Parents, College, and Empty-Nest Parenting: [09:59] – [12:51]
• Final Laughs & Teasing: [12:51] – [13:37]

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode delivers its trademark blend of sarcastic wit, Arizona pride, and relatable parental ribbing. Whether debating ASU’s “honor” of topping STD charts or playfully despairing over a son who can’t finish jeans properly, the hosts balance affectionate mockery with community-centric humor. If you’ve ever relished irreverent morning radio or empathized with bumbling through young adulthood (as a parent or a kid), this episode hits home.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Really?

[Byron]

That simple?

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. That's weird. I don't like that phone. Just. Brady just brought up STDs because that's what he usually does when there's a song on Fascinating Talks. He loves him. He won't shut up about it. And because you said that, I turned my phone on and hit a little button there. And it. First story was top five schools with std, STD rates. And because they've been on top of the list before, they have sent this particular outlet a cease and desist for ever mentioning them. So number one was a school called Attorneys Stop University, but otherwise known as asu. They were number one, according to this, that they're the. They're back to be in a party school, which I say, all right, good job. ASU is number one back. Back on top, man, which is fantastic. We used to be the school everybody went to. It was like they're. It was the safety school for everyone. And then they got all serious about business, and now they're back on top for being the STD school. And that's what we were known for. And that's when we were great, and that's when football was good. Look what. Look what happened. Football got good again. STD rates shot through the roof. You get a good football team, and your college campus becomes more fun. They were terrible while they were trying to be a business school, and now look at them. Good for you. Asu, Iowa is second. And I would say that's just because there's nothing else to do.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

And empty cornfields.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

What's going on?

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah, I Can't imagine that. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, Arizona was 17th.U of A. Keeping it alive, but not great. But ASU number one in the nation.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

ASU is so huge.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Now tell me when the last time ASU topped any of the polls?

[Co-host or Guest 1]

When they used to do the college girl playgroup, Playboy issue.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

The Tempe 12. Yeah, that's right. That was the last time. Back when we were a party school and the STDs were number. Well, back when we're number one. Let's put ASU back on the map. They got to quit putting cease and desist letters out to these organizations that say they're at the top of the poll. With all this number one on two.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Two separate polls. Cuz you're.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Oh, that's a. That's a different poll. Yeah, that's. Coaches and AP people at number two. Coaches and AP poll have ASU on top. Where's Iowa on your poll?

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Not even in the.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

One of them. The one I had was.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Somebody got to look at the methodology. Yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Who knows who's picking on yours by volume or by.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

I mean ASU is the largest college. Right.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Mine was std.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

ASU.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah, stdcheck.com was the one that seems like a legitimate source. Yeah, it was Iowa, Florida State, Alabama and Auburn.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

It's not a URL you choose if you're just a couple of punks trying to throw up a website.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

No, no, you're pretty specifically stuck to focusing on STDs. You're not going to drift off into like, what do you guys think of this ICE situation? Like Minneapolis has an std. An ice issue.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

That's one of the sub articles.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah, let's check how many ICE agents have STDs? I don't. They're not going to get. Yeah, you were pretty specific. But there you go.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Doxed me with STDs.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Number one ASU. Congrats, gang. And to the ladies out there, that's pretty good stuff. You know, so long as it's not the. The heavy hitters like. And hepatitis is cured. That's another one. I was talking to a doctor the other day. He goes hep C. That used to be a mess. He said, come in now I can get rid of it in a weekend. Like, no kidding. It's getting easier to just to free up. Go crazy. So go get them. Asu. I'm proud of you. I wonder, you know what they never do community colleges, which, you know, half the reason some of those girls have to go there is because they got those. Oh, mesa is abs.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

It's a glorified high school, isn't it?

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

No, it's actually a really good school. It's a good community college. But I'll tell you, there's an awful lot of people there that made some bad decisions in high school, that made it. So their first year in college has to be mcc. And a lot of those things are related to bumps.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Tell me about it. Restaurant workers living in my house.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

He didn't have the bumps, though.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

No.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

As far as you know. But he's not an MCC student either.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Nobody's thinking about it.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Well, that doesn't make him a student. No, no, we're all. I mean, I'm thinking about.

[Brett Vesely]

He thought about paying rent in Tucson too, but, you know, he didn't go that far.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

He does think about a lot.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Feeding his.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Might as well be there.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah, I'm thinking about being an astronau. Not doing anything about it. So I'm not going to be an astronaut. I want to be a nurse. You going to school for that?

[Byron]

No.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Then you're not going to be a nurse.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Is he still making jeans? Yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Is he still making the pan?

[Co-host or Guest 2]

I thought he was going to make us something.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Oh, yeah. Well, you never got your measurements.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Oh, that's true.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah. There's a reason. Where does he get the denim?

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Oh, he's got a huge thing of denim at the house. Yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Just in a roll.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Not in a roll, but it's all. It's like all folded up and stuff. So.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Yeah, he.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

He made himself two pairs of jeans.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Made another out of old jeans.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

No, he cut them and he bought.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

A big roll of denim and everything.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

And it just sits at your house.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Waiting for orders.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

And he's thinking about going to community college. He's going to live with you forever.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

He isn't great at yet. And he's still working on is the. Is the buckle or the. The button in the front.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

The most crucial part of jeans.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

I know, but he's got the loops and everything. He just wears belt with it. So.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

But he can't. He can't get a button right.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

He gets a zipper and everything is just the. The top button.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

So these are Appalachian pants that have no button. You just tie a rope around it.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Yeah, They're Beverly Hillbillies pants. Yeah. Yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

You need to just. You need to just cut ties.

[Brett Vesely]

Leave Alex Versace alone.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Jesus. It's enough. And he came home with a roll of denim and you were like, what's going on?

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Just.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

He had A whole bin full of like fabric.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Fascinating.

[Brett Vesely]

Where'd he get the money for that?

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah, doordash.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Christmas money last year and.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

It just sits at the house going out of biz.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

So he did that. His mom took him there and.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

And then so he comes home and just doesn't sew.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Well, he's been working a lot, John.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Oh, okay.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Which there's no orders.

[Brett Vesely]

Hold on.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

That's the point.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

There is orders. He's got one and he's got another buddy that's got one. Lisa wants him to. To fix a pair of her pants.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Well hem and some stuff is nice so he could start like a little.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

I, I tried to get him to do that.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Come here. High five. Give me a hug. This is. But listen, can you imagine, man, can you imagine being like, oh, being faced.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

With this get a tough shed first Taylor shop.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

It was 14 months of him not working, trying to keep it together sanity wise. And he's been earning money and he's.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Been going the right direction, is going.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

A better direction for the past couple of months.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

What's up? But I don't like that you're, you know. Still think he's a student in college just because he's thinking about it.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Fair point.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah. Oh, he's an MCC kid. Oh yeah.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Father.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

A father can dream.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

John thinks about it all the time.

[Brett Vesely]

You're thinking about banging Dua Lipa too.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

You know that's true. I do have the thoughts of Dua Lipa and I not only banging, but getting married and loving each other for the rest of our lives. That's different than like reality, bro. Yeah, bro. I'm thinking about being the dean of a college. Oh, well, aspirations. They're fun. You want a pair of pants that don't buckle? Yes. Who doesn't?

[Co-host or Guest 1]

It's all part of the process.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

No, like then you can't make pants yet if you can't make pants. That button. They're not pants.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

It's a rivet.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

It's a beginning. Doesn't seem hard.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Well, there's snaps, buttons.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Oh, I understand all the buckling material, whatever. But go with the basics.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

I don't know which one's the easiest and which one's hardest.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Fire off a basic one he did.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

It's called rope.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Death row Clampett pants.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

The drawstrings.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Now I'm dying for a pair of these redneck waiters. They're gonna be all, I want this so bad.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

They are roomy in the leg. I'll say that.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

The big balloon pants. He just Makes Giant.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

I want to see wearing the Jethros, not like icp. Tell you what, they're.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

I'm gonna throw in a pair of Toledo custom jeans for everybody who wins our contest for Vegas. You have to wear the Toledo jeans all the way around. Circus Circus.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Winston wants him to.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Bring your own ropes. Winston wants him to make him pants.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Get some measurements. He goes, just take a 55 gallon drum.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

He says, hold on. I want the whole Canadian tuxedo. I want a sleeveless Canadian.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Oh, Winston, you have to. How many buttons are on this coat? The kid will just staple it together. That's your kid going to school. He's thinking about it. So. Yeah. Yeah, he is. He's. He's mastering some things in a designer.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

He's making pants. But.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

We talked about mcc and he goes, tell me about it. Like, why are your kids going to school? No, but he talks about it a lot. Just kick him out. Just kick him out.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

There's a. There's a learning curve in that.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

You gotta leave. I'm fine with leaving him in the house.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Not against it.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Just. That's hilarious. I had a rule that I had to waste my dad's money at college in order to stay at the house. So I did. Was no different than what he did. I had no goals. I was working in a restaurant and I'd take a couple classes over at a community college nearby and just keep going.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

That's where I would like him to at least dip his toes in the water. He tried it down a View of A. And Japanese was hard. The other college classes were hard. Yeah. Because they were scheduled. That he wasn't waking up doing that.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Matt Silcox says, hey, can you name those almost jeans? I like that you finish DIY the ending.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Just make it fancy and go A L, M, O, S. How about this?

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

This is a good idea. He sews up some jeans, right? And then as part of the gimmick, in the pockets are all the buckles and attachments. And then you. You pick the one you want. And it would feel like you're part of it. Just because he can't do that yet. He can make the loops for the rope. Oh, my God. I've never been happy to be childless. Seems awesome. At least you could take Brady's approach and want your kid to live with you forever.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

Yeah, I don't want that.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah, he does. I can't. I hope. I hope.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

And to be fair, Alex doesn't want that either. He just doesn't know how to get out.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

He does He. Yeah, he. He. Look, he wants it as much as he wants his two year associates from mcc. He's not doing anything about it. Kirby's thinking about going to college out of state.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Out of state? Out of the country.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Out of the country.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

She'd love to. She's looking at a.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

You're gonna send her out of the country?

[Co-host or Guest 2]

She for sure would like to do a semester.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

No, that means she's going if she wants to do it. Kirby wants it, Kirby gets it. Yeah, you're gonna. A semester? But they had. Do they offer that at Ohio? Like an exchange student? Oh, no kidding.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Yeah, most universities.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

No, I know. Scooch over and do that. I had my friend's kids do that, but how about that? So you're going to kill yourself if she's not in the house every day. You're not. You are not going to be. All right? You are not going to. You're going to go. You know where he's going to live? Wherever she goes to school.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

I'm going to wrap it up.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Be calling in from Berlin.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

You. You. You will. You will not be good. When does she make this announcement so we can brace ourselves? You're fragile as it is.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Well, yeah, well, she has to. May 1st. I mean, for sure. I mean, getting close. Things gotta be. Yeah, that's got to be a done deal.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

And then you get three more months with her. You're gonna be a mess. You're gonna be a disaster.

[Brett Vesely]

Poor Kenny and Laser. They're gonna have to deal with Brady.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Yeah. Oh. Oh, man. Oh, you're just gonna be hanging around high schools looking for girls that look like her and just want to be her dad. Yeah, you are. Can I call you Kurba Derves? Please leave me alone.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

Like that old man that took you on the boat.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

His kid died and he wanted a new one, so he picked me. I got to go on boats with him.

[Brett Vesely]

He's always got Caitlin.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Oh, that's true. That girl you kidnapped this summer.

[Co-host or Guest 2]

I forgot about her.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

Oh, my God, you're a disaster. Well, maybe we can have Toledo's kid fashion you a really nice noose with one of his rope belts. Oh, I'm sorry. I digress. I was supposed to do something else. We got the hot releases that'll come UP next. It's 98 KUPD. Hey, it's not weird.

[Co-host or Guest 1]

It's pretty cool, actually. See? No membership fees.

[Main Host or Lead Commentator]

I have heard enough of this.