01-28-25 - Emailer's Cousin Is 60yo And Still Robs And Steals Whenever He Can - John Wants To Be A Recognized Regular At The Ra Ra Room - Suns Coach And Nurkic Haven't Spoken In Weeks Reminding Us Of When Friends Or Couples Fight

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (01-28-25)

Release Date: January 28, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Bret Vesely
• Dick Toledo

---

1. Opening Banter and Light-hearted Conversations

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg navigating technical delays, leading to a humorous discussion about erectile dysfunction pills. This segment sets a casual and entertaining tone for the morning show.

• John Holmberg [00:33]: "The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail."

• Brady Bogen [01:38]: "So you're not going to come in like Peter north or anything?"

2. Story of a 60-Year-Old Habitual Burglar

A significant portion of the episode revolves around an email story shared by John Holmberg about a 60-year-old man who continues to engage in robbing and stealing despite having a family and job. This discussion delves into themes of addiction, aging, and the societal perception of crime.

• John Holmberg [04:12]: "He's 62, I'm 48, and I still like being around him. But at any given time he'll break into something and show up with you and say, look what I just got."

The hosts debate whether such behavior is a form of addiction or simply criminality, exploring the complexities of kleptomania and the challenges in addressing persistent criminal behavior in older age groups.

• Bret Vesely [08:04]: "Would that be considered a kleptomaniac?"

• John Holmberg [08:10]: "I think because you're kind of addicted."

3. Discussion on The Ra Ra Room and Becoming a Regular

John expresses his enthusiasm about The Ra Ra Room, a local dive bar, and discusses his experiences and future plans to become a recognized regular. The conversation highlights the social aspect of local establishments and their role in the community.

• John Holmberg [19:56]: "I shut her down. Me and Kevin Ray, my buddy Brian were in there and closed up shop."

• John Holmberg [20:41]: "Why wouldn't everybody will take your money?"

The hosts share anecdotes about their interactions at The Ra Ra Room, emphasizing its friendly atmosphere and the sense of belonging it provides.

4. Suns Coach and Jusuf Nurkic's Rift

A heated discussion emerges regarding the strained relationship between the Phoenix Suns' coach and center Jusuf Nurkic. John criticizes the lack of communication and leadership within the team, suggesting that internal conflicts are detrimental to the franchise’s success.

• John Holmberg [27:11]: "I saw two or three when they were like a foot and a half away from each other's. Could have just gone, hey, what's up, nerd?"

• John Holmberg [28:59]: "You have to recognize when a franchise sucks and it's trying to be better, but zero championships in 54 years. Your franchise sucks."

The conversation extends to broader issues within the team, including player management and the need for decisive actions to improve team dynamics and performance.

5. Personal Anecdotes on Relationship Conflicts

The hosts reminisce about personal experiences related to conflicts at social gatherings, particularly focusing on how disputes can affect group dynamics and the overall atmosphere of events.

• John Holmberg [29:53]: "We all been at dinners. We're like, why don't you guys just go, like, don't do this to everybody else."

• John Holmberg [31:07]: "There was enough to turn you around."

These stories underscore the universal nature of relationship conflicts and the challenges of maintaining harmony in social settings.

6. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on maintaining personal boundaries, handling intrusive behavior, and the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences. John Holmberg emphasizes the need for accountability and personal responsibility both in personal lives and within professional settings like sports teams.

• John Holmberg [39:27]: "If you're in a fight with your wife or husband and you're going somewhere, just turn around and go home."

The episode concludes with light-hearted interactions and a reminder of the show's unique blend of humor, personal stories, and candid discussions.

---

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [12:27]: "But I don't think you break in. They said they feel tension before stealing and relief after."

• John Holmberg [28:25]: "Larry Fitzgerald, Shane Doane, we hang on to these people because they sell jerseys and people."

• Brady Bogen [22:08]: "Have you watched this? Brett, would you like to join me into the Rah Rah room in a son's game for your birthday celebration?"

---

Themes Explored:

• Addiction and Criminal Behavior: The struggle of overcoming ingrained habits and the societal challenges in addressing persistent criminality.

• Aging and Social Roles: How age influences behavior, societal perceptions, and personal identity.

• Team Dynamics in Sports: The impact of internal conflicts on team performance and the importance of leadership.

• Personal Relationships: Navigating conflicts within personal relationships and maintaining social harmony.

---

Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and serious discussions on societal issues. From exploring the perplexing behavior of a habitual burglar to dissecting the fractious relationships within the Phoenix Suns, John Holmberg and his co-hosts provide listeners with insightful commentary wrapped in their signature entertaining style. Whether you're a regular listener or tuning in for the first time, this episode delivers engaging content that resonates on multiple levels.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's on a delay. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. Big Dick's lead around here somewhere. All ready to go. Mike sitting the button and it wasn't running there. The was on a delay. It's not normal way to start today. It is. Yeah. We need to get a pill. I suppose it's not quite where it should. Yeah. Speaking of blue pills.

[Brady]

No, nothing.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't take it or you didn't get one?

[Brady]

No, neither.

[John Holmberg]

Brett had access to a erectile dysfunction pill yesterday here in the building.

[Brady]

He kept saying how great it is. I'll give it a shot.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think yours works anymore. If it didn't work.

[Brady]

No, I didn't, I didn't have a chance to use it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, you didn't try it?

[Brady]

No, no, I didn't have a chance to use it.

[John Holmberg]

I got. You got excited about. I'm like, look, I've tried these things.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, I'm going to.

[John Holmberg]

The boner pill is magic. And again, a little disappointing because you, you know, you don't feel like the gradual loss of.

[Brady]

So you're not going to come in like Peter north or anything? Well, you're not going to decorate or what?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're, you're going to excite yourself the first few times to maybe decorate. Oh, really?

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

But not, No, I mean, let's not, let's hold back a little of the expectations. You're never, you're never going to. There's no pill that's going to make you.

[Brady]

I don't want to sell it that far, you know, so.

[John Holmberg]

What a great legacy he has, though, to be the guy that's known as the decorator. And you bring him Up. I mean, that is. And it's like, in reverence. Nobody's saying it as, like, Jesus, that guy. Like, women would be like, ah, the decorator. It was a. It was a marvelous thing for him to be. It's a great. Something we'd all wish we could have done. There's gotta be a decorator out there. Like, driving along going, I'm one of those. He can't be alone. But even in the industry he's in, he stood out. Like, it's impressive. So anyway, aside from all that. Well, maybe you could take it this morning and give us a report on later in the afternoon. Because I'm telling you, if you haven't done it. And I know guys are like, oh, that's for people who can't get it up. No, it isn't. Trust me. It's a very strange sensation. It's. It makes you realize what a pud you've been for a while now. Brady, I want you to try it. Yeah, yeah. It helps. It does. It'll wait. Like, it will wake you up.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

It will wake you up if you're healthy downstairs and you pop one of those things.

[Brady]

So it just enhances it that much more.

[John Holmberg]

It takes you to a level of like, if your blood flow is this good and you're not in need of it, because I think I would imagine if you're in need of it, it would just bring you back to, like, nor the HUD stat. This thing takes you back to when you were 18. If everything's flowing, man. Pretty outstanding. Pretty outstanding. Just, you know, just a little aside. Prior to that, we heard Bikini's Juice, which is one of my favorite songs ever. You pop that in there live and at the end of it, the feedback kicked in. And it's been a minute since we've had a set. Like, no new music is, including that. This is the digital age. And I know they were digitized, but not like computer. I missed the feedback. There's no bands that are breaking feedback into their songs. Highly recommend if you're a local band to get that in there because there's no. There's no bad feedback when it's in a recorded song, when you can control it. I want to turn that up. It's like Q tips in your ears. Too deep. Feels so good. Lekini's Juice is one of them. There aren't many others.

[Brady]

Well, some of the bands we had on Playdoh sounded like that's. It could have been three minutes of feedback.

[John Holmberg]

I would rather have heard that In a lot of cases, I love feedback and I forgot about it when that song ended. I'm like, yes, gives me rejuvenation. And then yesterday we talked about that guy who got shot in his. In the house. That was a friend of mine's cousin actually he was a burglar and he got shot. 51 year old house burglar on 106th in Indian school. And got that, got an email from a guy, read text from a guy. It said, hey John, just to let you know, My cousin is 62 in Dallas. He still robs cars and houses regularly. I hung out with him a while ago. He's got a job, a family, no drug problems. And he tells me, I've done this my whole life and I'm never gonna stop. It is my drug. I love it. And he always says that he's certifiably crazy. My mom always told me to stay away from him. But now he's 62, I'm 48, and I still like being around him. But at any given time he'll break into something and show up with you and say, look what I just got. Oh, 62 years old.

[Brady]

Keeping it real.

[John Holmberg]

I thought that ended like. Maybe I'm just naive to it. But I. Maybe that's because I just look at that as like a young man's thing. I didn't realize people had.

[Brett]

I wonder how wanted to do he would react if he. The the opposite happened to him. Someone steals from him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I wonder if he could do his wonderful. Yeah, maybe like a little more lenient. I'm like, well, you know, well, he got me, he got me. I've got plenty of my, you know, I wonder. Yeah. Does he get pissed? When does he watch the news and go, somebody's got to do something about all this crap.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because I don't look at. Maybe I need to start doing that. Start eyeballing some folks who are a little older and think, all right, keep your eye on that one. He's a thief. That's why there was that old movie years ago with George Burns. They remade it with Morgan Freeman here recently. But George Burns and who was it? Art Carney.

[Brady]

Going in style.

[John Holmberg]

Going in style. And it was four old men that were robbing banks. And nobody suspected him because nobody, you know, why would they.

[Brady]

It was the other guy.

[John Holmberg]

There were two other dudes in that too. And they die. I say, is Alan Arkin. No, he was in the new one. But yeah, it was. And they're going, and you're looking, you're like, so it makes me think, is Tripp. Is this just a front? And he's like a cat burglar. Like, you don't ever. You never look at old people as the bad guy, and they could get away. Like, as I get older, you start realizing, get away with murder here, going in style is the perfect. If you haven't seen it, it's actually. If I remember right, it's pretty good. The remake was terrible. I think it was Lee Strasberg. Lee Strasberg, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. And I forget who else was in the new one. I think it was Alan Arkin and somebody else.

[Brady]

Christopher Lloyd.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Doc Brown was in that. I forgot about that. But it wasn't anywhere near as good as the George Burns and Art Carney one. But then they die one at a time until one of them just left. They kind of get in fights because they don't know how to spread the loot around. But I don't look at old people as potentially criminal. But I think I need to start doing that because 51's too. Guy got shot. He's 50. 51's too old to be busting into houses or cars any. Any ages. It's never a good age. But, I mean, there's some that you're like, all right, dumb kid. Like, at 51, not only do you know better, you're just gonna. You're gonna get shot like that guy did. You don't have. Like, I've realized lately that my feet are a problem when I run. They're flat. They don't. I don't curve them like I used to. As I get older, I'm like, ah, getaways are going to be tougher. Like, I'm. I'm too sleepy a lot of the times to want to try to break in and get that adrenaline. I don't want that adrenaline rush. Testosterone levels have dropped to normal to kind of keep me from wanting that high. I want to get into the mind of us. I want to hang out with. I want to do a ride along basically with somebody in their 60s who still does, you know, be an ease and stuff. I just want to be around.

[Brett]

Would that be considered a kleptomaniac?

[John Holmberg]

I think because you're kind of addicted.

[Brett]

Because they're like an adrenaline rush.

[Brady]

It's.

[Brett]

It's a drug.

[John Holmberg]

But don't kleptomaniacs do it? Not really. Know they're doing it. Like, they'll grab stuff and leave and go, I did it. Or if You. Yeah, maybe they're just rushing in and they. They're completely aware.

[Brett]

I just think it's kind of like an addiction thing more than anything. A kleptomania.

[John Holmberg]

Because kleptos like will grab your keys or a phone or whatever, why you're not looking. They don't like bust in doors or break into cars.

[Brady]

I don't think I thought busting windows in the inhars Tesla.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Whoops. You have to understand, I have a disease. I'm a kleptomaniac. I think it's. Kleptomaniacs will like take things off of your desk.

[Brett]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're.

[Brett]

They're the shiny objects they go after.

[John Holmberg]

The health condition that causes people to steal items they don't need. Maybe. But I don't think you break in. They said they feel tension before stealing and relief after. A guilt or shame afterwards. I don't know that they're breaking into houses. Kleptomaniacs. I don't think if they're in your house, you got to watch them. They'll steal stuff. They're like gypsies. Like if you let them in then stuff's going to go missing. That's different. But you know, having your door kicked in by some 61 year old man. I don't know, I just look at it very strange this dude's cousin does it. And again good for the family to not rat him out. But I probably. They don't like him and they don't have him over or anything because that's something I wouldn't want to hang out with if I found out I had like a 60, like a bradium fellow. He's breaking the cars and stuff. We're not ever. Like you're pretty much off the list. Because I don't want to be there the night you get shot and catch friendly fire or some sort of, you know, side bullet bouncing off of you because you decided to bust into an accord. Because it's your. I just. I never wouldn't. I don't. I think the cutoff age for that kind of stuff is 30. If you're still robbing at 30. Who's the. I don't know.

[Brett]

It just seems the actress that got.

[John Holmberg]

Busted years ago, Winona Ryder.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She was swiping. She was shoplifting. I think that was the. I think that's always the go to. Was. Yeah. That was kind of like sex addiction when you get caught, you know, like always in sex at. Well yeah, he was a sex addict. We're all sex addicts. That guy just got caught being a bad guy. And his wife said, you got to do something about this. So he went over to Wickenburg. David Duchovny, a handsome Hollywood actor, had side pee. Yes, he's an addict and he needs to be cured. It's the biggest lie in the history. Tiger woods went to sex addiction. Tiger woods wasn't addicted to sexual that way. Not in a way that was destroying. Tiger woods just didn't have self control, and that was a bigger thing. Opportunities showed up because for more than any man could ever imagine, opportunities were thrown at him more than any man could imagine. And he got busted. And then so he had to play like it was a disease, which it isn't. David Letterman thought it was. It's Michael Douglas. All these guys that have, you know, chicks throwing themselves at him all the time are like, well, I've got this disease, you see. Okay, then you're not allowed outside and you can't make movies anymore. But they never try to actually cure sex addiction with what it is. Oh, it's your notoriety. You're handsome, you've got money. We're gonna take all that away from me. Cause that's what's really fueling your disease. They're like, hell no, don't take that away from me. Just make it so my wife doesn't take half my stuff. If you don't go to the sex thing, she's leaving. Jesus Christ. All right, I'll play pretend I'm gonna get cured. Holberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. 28. Can ye rep Holmberg's morning sickness? No other addiction on the planet. Sends you off for 30 days to get cured and then says, all right, go back out there and dabble with it.

[Brett]

Yeah, that was like going back. You got to quit cocaine for a while.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you go, 28 days, we got you in here. Now go back out there and try to just do a reasonable amount of cocaine. That's what they do to sex addicts. Go back out there and just have normal people sex. Well, I'm an addict. Once I taste it, I'm gonna want it more. Silly. That's silly. Alcoholics never get that whole, we're trying to get you guys down to one or two a day. It doesn't happen. It's cold turkey or it's nothing. That's an addiction. That's why I always look at sex addicts. It's the stupidest thing, but we don't have like a 62 year old dude, like, this is an addict for theft. He's just nuts. He's gonna get shot. You can't be around that guy anyway. I just look at old people as better than that, and I don't know why. Because. Why. Why do I assume old people are good? They've lived nice, long lives. Right.

[Brett]

Just because you think, oh, you'd be over it at 62.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just don't think you have the energy or the, you know, the drive to want to keep stealing. And plus, by then, you probably had established something in your life, right towards, like, I'm not going to bust into people's houses. This is what I've got. It can't be. I don't know. Maybe they're angrier than I give them. Like, the. They got nothing, and they're. They're constantly pissed off. It's a good question, though. I wonder if he watches the news and thinks to himself, we got to do something about this. This whole crime thing. Not me, but everybody else. All this Crime is bad. 62, Again, like I told the guy yesterday before he got shot, go get a job at five guys and just accept the fact you're bad at it or step it up.

[Brett]

62. I've got over 50 iPhones.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Robin like his collection, right? Like, after a while, it's like, he did it. He. 62. You got. You have to. It's like playing a video game. If you got Red Dead Redemption, you wouldn't play the first mission over and over and over. You got to step it up. I think in your 30s, if you're robbing cars, you got to go, hey, I'm in my 30s now. It's time to start busting into houses and then work your way up and then work your way up to, you know, like, businesses and stuff. I mean, if you're gonna do it as a lifetime thing, by 62, I better hear you. You swipe like. Yeah.

[Brady]

Robbing banks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, things like that.

[John Holmberg]

You better swipe a diamond with a name people recognize.

[Brady]

You know, don't steal a Craco stereo out of somebody's Celica.

[John Holmberg]

If you do Spark O Matics in your hands, you're like, I got these out of. Like, you're 62. Rob better stuff.

[Brady]

That's some class for.

[John Holmberg]

That's too easy. At 62, it's too easy to bust into a car and steal somebody's subwoofer. I want you getting in somewhere and coming out with a diamond that people in France are going to be like, well, that diamond over There in Phoenix. Got robbed. You know about that one? Like the. Like, you know, the javelina White or whatever. They just. It's got a name.

[Brett]

Get in your white van and get some good merch, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Settle in on something. Like, still seedy, but. Because I'd even be shocked. Like, that dude, 62, and he's selling me speakers at the Circle. All I have is questions for that guy. How bad has this been? How have you not killed yourself? That 62. You still feel the need to kick a door in and swipe some stuff. It's pathetic. But now the doors are all open, and I'm seeing old people differently. And I've. Honestly, yesterday was the first time I ever looked at anybody even my age and thought, wonder if that guy kicks doors and, like, busts into houses and stuff. I don't. It never. Never crosses your mind again. My mom had that friend years ago, was the most normal woman I've ever known. Bangs on our door and says, I've got a terrible addiction to crystal methamphetamine. And I've been stealing people I've been robbing blind. I got that knock on the door 20 years ago, 25 years ago now. Where my ex had a. We had a company we were invested in. She worked there. And the lady running the accounting department knocked on our door on a Friday afternoon and said, by the way, company's completely insolvent. I stole everything. I've been scrambling to try to get it back, but I took every penny of this company's money. There's zero. I'm turning myself in. And we're talking like, a few hundred thousand dollars that she was just supposed. And she was in charge of it, and she used a little for herself and then dabbled over here a little, and then dabbled and then would mask it because she was in charge of the money. It was a small company, so nobody's sitting in there breathing over her shoulder. It was her department. Knocked on the door and said, you guys are all out. Sorry, nothing we can do about it. I went and took herself to jail, which I think is what I assume most normal people do when they hit a certain age. I can't. I gotta stop. But so if you're out there robbing right now and you're in your 40s. Take. Take two seconds, listen to me for two seconds and think, is this Honda Accord really my best option? And then go find, like, a Jag or some. Break into something good. Take some chances. Step it up if you're gonna do it. Make it count? Stay away from Brett's car. What is that thing, like a 2014? A nice car. It's a 17. See, mine's a 12. My Jeep's a 12. Don't break into my car. There's nothing in there that's modern enough for you to want. Yeah, don't tell Brady's got a newer car. Break into Brady's car. If you're walking through our parking lot and you're going through. Al Franken just got a new Range Rover. We look at it every morning. Bus that bus through into that.

[Brady]

Har's Tesla.

[John Holmberg]

Har's Tesla. Mike's Tesla. Stay away from my car. If you're 20, you could break into my car. It's a starter kit. I get it. But remember this. I'm also a prick and have no forgiveness for this stuff. I. I've had people say, oh, he's just a. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's 20. I'm like, well, he's going to figure that out after the full scale of the law lays down on him. And if they give him a few years in jail, he deserves it. Oh, please don't do this to our boy. No, I'm doing it. I'm absolutely pressing charges. Yeah, of course I am. But when you're 60, I don't know if I'm going to throw the book at you more than I'm just going to sit there and go, hey, what's with busting into a 2012 Jeep Wrangler? There was a Range Rover right there.

[Brett]

Your kid stuff got away with a.

[John Holmberg]

Couple of coke zeros in my car. You're getting a. There might be a pair of tennis shoes. If you're gonna do it, do it right.

[Brady]

Dirty tactical black shirts occasionally.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even keep my bag in there anymore. I keep it up at tactical black because it stunk up the car so bad. Even Carlos, the car washing guy, noticed. He's like, you got a lot of stuff in that bag. Long time ago. I'm like, I do. And I'm like, it stinks, too. I wasn't gonna say anything, but he's like, he was scrubbing around it. He didn't even touch it. Toxic. A lot of times I keep my keys in my car. Cause. What are you doing stealing a 2012? It doesn't even have, like, insurance. Tooth technology. I've got insurance. I don't want it stolen. I love it, but, I mean, come on, do better is what I'm saying. We can all do people always say that? Do better. That goes for the criminals too. Don't mess around with Brett's car and my car. Rob Brady. Rob the guys who have these flashy newer cars. This Range Rover, you know, it's used, but it's newer. It's got. You liked it because of the bells and whistles in there. Rob that. Rob the good ones.

[Brady]

Franken's car.

[John Holmberg]

Franken's car's got to go first. That's the. He just got a brand new one. It's nice. I like it. I mean, I've never seen it up close, but from a distance in the parking lot. It's pretty cool. Kind of all murdered out black. It's. It's a nice looking car. If you're. If you're a criminal of age, that's the one you go for. Even Brady's at that point is like worthless. Get the good one or just knock it off and hang yourself. You're 60 and you're still robbing cars. Jerk.

[Brett]

He's looking for the easy marks, right?

[John Holmberg]

But that's sad. Yeah. You gotta steal stuff that has names. The white javelina diamond has been stolen. Then you get into the guy with the gray hair and the tuxedo. He's graduated. It's terrible. I was at the rah rah room last night. We shut her down. Me and Kevin Ray, my buddy Brian were in there and closed up shop. It's pretty awesome in there to be.

[Brett]

Closing up shop is what time at the rah Rah?

[John Holmberg]

About 11:30. They get done about 11 here. You can't stop. You can hang around there and keep drinking, but they last call you or do you. Food stops at 11. I don't think. I think if we stuck around too long, there's an awful lot going on in there. But becoming the norm of the rah rah room fight. It's pretty great. I have my own little space. I'm. It's pretty awesome in there. And they're like, you know, people saying hi to me a lot. Yesterday I pulled into park to get there sparking and I didn't. I got out of the car and guys. I go, Mr. Holmberg. And I'm like, oh, oh, this is. I'm here too much. This is a.

[Brady]

Your norm.

[John Holmberg]

I'm loving. And you know what I've decided I'm really. Oh, I'm completely. That what I'm. What I've decided I'm gonna do is not buy season tickets next year and just get the rah rah ra. It's genius. Cuts the bill in half.

[Brady]

Can you do that?

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't everybody will take your money?

[Brady]

Well, I just. Yeah. I didn't know if you. To go in there, you had to have sons tickets to do it.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't said anything. Maybe, but I'll try to talk them out of that. Just go ahead and sell my ticks and then buy tickets to the games I want to go to and hang out in the Rah Rah room for, you know, a lot of the Suns games. Everybody said. Everybody last night that my friend Mark was there. He's like, that is a great idea. It's a. I think that's the plan for the future. That thing's just amazing. The staff, they're all awesome. They know me. I don't know if they're doing that for everybody. If they are. It's the most attentive group ever. But I have a dive bar that is a. That has a membership now that. That is a goal in life I didn't know I needed. But it's. I've hit it, and I'm pretty proud of myself.

[Brady]

Is it open for Mercury Games, too?

[John Holmberg]

God damn it.

[Brady]

That you've been there, but I'm just asking. It is, man.

[Brett]

It's open, yo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's open every time. I don't. I assume they're just going to close during Mercury games because I don't think there's any rich lesbians, so I don't think they have anything.

[Brady]

Ellen's coming into town anytime sooner.

[John Holmberg]

Ellen's the only one, and she moved to England.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Brett]

I bet you there.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so. Because they're. They're two women getting paid female wages. That's never good. Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't see someone running a art gallery and stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But not enough to keep alive, like a private club. I don't think there are a lot.

[Brett]

Of, like, miss any of the game either.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah.

[Brett]

On tv.

[John Holmberg]

They'd rather not just go hammer a steak and, you know, miss the game. The game. The stake is on the court. That's the meat they want to watch. I mean, if you can imagine being wildly attracted to the Suns as a man, like, not only do you love watching basketball, but you want to. All the dudes. Yeah. You got to get a bad guy. I want to. I want to. I want to smell my finger after I've been with Devin Booker, that kind of thing. Holmberg's morning sickness. That's how the. Well, that's How? I imagine they watch those guys, Sophie Cunningham running up and down the court. They're not standing in the Rah Rah Room. She's in person. They're going back down there. The rich lesbians. They're going to be right up front for their $25 seat. Front row, 25 bucks. Maybe, maybe, maybe. That might be pushing it. You're right. That might be a little high. And you get to smell the girls as they run by. That's what the. That's. There is no Rah Rah room that competes with the scent of Tarasi. To a lesbian, Scent of taurasi is like their favorite perfume. I wear scent of Taurasi. Yeah. They're not going to the Rah Rah room and having tartar. When they can go smell the girls sweat and Kelsey Plum runs by, they're gonna lose their mind anyway. So to answer your question, I don't.

[Brady]

Have a Red Lobster in there.

[John Holmberg]

They do have a good shrimp scampi. Yeah. Yeah. For a while there, thought I wanted to be like a regular at a dive bar, you know, I tried it at the Swizzle in, and then things went sideways. I'm not allowed in there anymore. I think you have to go highfalutin. Like, the Boom Boom Room's the one place that I. I wanna. I wanna someday walk into the Boom Boom Room, Whitey. Have everybody scream up. What's up, Whitey? Like, be the one guy. How you guys doing? What's it like outside, Whitey? It's bright. You guys would hate it. One Courvoisier, please. Yeah.

[Brett]

And here's your saltines.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Here's your crackers and mayonnaise. Whitey, you want some plain wings? I would love some plain wings. Thank you. What's shaking, Whitey? All four cheeks and a couple chins there, Lamont. I would love to be the norm of the place. I don't belong. I'm starting to feel like that is going on at the Rah Rah Room. It's a pretty great thing. And that's a great place to, you know, they. They hide all the cars, so you can't rob that. But that's like. That's a group of people that if you're 62, you're like, make your mark. Don't kill anyone. Just steal properly.

[Brady]

They hide all the cars at the Boom Boom Room.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Boom Boom Room. No, don't. Do not rob anyone unless you have a death wish. Because I imagine there's a lot of armed people at the Boom Boom room everybody at 16th Street McDowell. Pretty much off limits for robbery, if you ask me, because that. That's a group of people gonna fight back. They're gonna fight back. And the Escalades, they will fight for. They're not sitting back thinking, well, I'm insured. No, there's stuff in there you don't want, like baby clothes. And those seats are expensive.

[Brady]

I'm insured by Smith and Wesson.

[John Holmberg]

Smith Wesson takes care of that. Yeah, you gotta be very careful with that stuff. Anyway, but if. Yeah. And Brady, I was gonna see. It's your birthday week tomorrow. Would you watch this? Brett, would you like to join me into the Rah Rah room in a son's game for your birthday celebration? Of course. You would. Yes. Yes, of course. I've opened the door to the Rah Rah room to one of the riff raff. Wow. That' now same rules applies. I gave Dale dress like a adult and be normal. That's it. That's all there is. And we'll go and you got a drink. You gotta. You gotta guzzle it down with me. And then we're probably gonna stay till like, 12 and shut her down again. That's your birthday celebration. That's how the Rah Rah room works.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

It's not happening.

[John Holmberg]

It's happening.

[Brady]

It's not.

[John Holmberg]

He'll have no options. None. I'll take his phone away. There'll be no Ubering.

[Brady]

Well, Kirby's gonna have something planned for him. He's not. He's not gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Tomorrow's not his birthday. That's why I'm doing this. Kirby can't have plans for him on a Wednesday night. That's not his actual birthday. Brady will be in the Rah Rah room tomorrow. You get to meet the. The. All the people. Just. They just. It's. It's. It's exceptional.

[Brett]

The candy room.

[John Holmberg]

There's a candy room. You can steal all that candy. We rated that last night. Charleston. Choose everywhere. The Rah Rah room's pretty great, but I'm. We're skipping most of the stuff. We watched a lot of sunscreen last night. It was a good game, but it's pretty fun. And the sun's got something going on that I don't understand at all. How in the world does Nurkic, their center, go to Channel 3 two days ago and say, I haven't spoken to the head coach of this team in two months, and there he is on the bench. He's going to practice.

[Brett]

There seems to be opportunities there Seems to be loads.

[John Holmberg]

Like last night, I saw two or three when they were like a foot and a half away from each other's. Could have just gone, hey, what's up, nerd? No. No contact between a coach. It's like, if you and I didn't talk, like, no, I'm not talking to him. People would notice other people in the room. Be like, you two should probably sort this out.

[Brett]

Yeah. Someone on, you know, you're a team.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody on that team needs to be a leader. Booker, Durant, I think you guys get paid a ton of money. That's their thing, right? That is not a healthy situation at all. And so we fire Monty Williams a few years ago, you get rid of Frank Vogel, which I was all for. You bring in Budenholzer, and you have the same issues, which is, nobody's in charge of this thing. If you have a guy at your work that you have to work with and you haven't, like, he's your employee and you haven't talked to him in two months, what's going on in that room where everybody has to hate each other if they're not even trying to fix it? I mean, I can't even imagine going to work every day with a guy I haven't spoken to in two months because he won't talk to me and I'm not talking to him. And there's 12 people at your office. And you two are crucial. Sons are a disaster.

[Brady]

Doesn't look like there's that Michael Jordan kind of come in and kick ass in locker room.

[John Holmberg]

But, like, you'd have to hold people accountable. Let's. Yeah, let's sort this out. But it goes to channel three first. Channel three is the one that goes, oh, by the way, Nurkic just told me he hasn't talked to the head coach of the team in two months. And I blame Kevin Durant and Devin Booker. Like, we gotta. What a mess this thing is. Break it up. And I'll say it again, I've said it a million times. You gotta trade Devin Booker right now for this team to do anything decent from here to the future. And I know the fans would hate it, but you gotta trade this guy. It has to go. But you can't have that.

[Brett]

A coach can't let that happen. No, I mean, it's like, look, I know you don't want to talk to me. We gotta find out what's going on here.

[John Holmberg]

You'd knock on his door and you go, you know, on a.

[Brett]

You don't want to be here.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, let's do something. Oh, yeah, but I'm not going to have you sitting on the bench. I'm certainly not having you go Talk to Channel 3 and say, Coach doesn't talk to me. If you want to wreck this, do it from somewhere else. You don't like me, I don't like you. Let's make an agreement. Jimmy Butler just. I mean, he's not even going to show up to Miami anymore. They suspended him. Do the same thing with Nurkic. He's on the bench last night with his hood up. Just sit a healthy scratch and just.

[Brady]

Kind of like pouting.

[John Holmberg]

Pouting all he wants. It's on the coach to just turn and go, hey, grown up. Do you have a problem? Were you telling the news about Talk to me, come to me. One of those two has to be a grown up. And Kevin Durant and Devin Booker have to be the ones that go over and say, hey, dickheads, you're wrecking the team. Being, this is awkward.

[Brett]

The election's over.

[John Holmberg]

Let's start playing ball, right? Maybe it was election related. The everybody's been to a dinner where one of the couples shows up and clearly has been in a fight on the way in. We've all been to that dinner. In fact, we've probably all been that couple. Or you got to put on the face and like, hey, how's it going? I'm gonna punch her so hard. You have no idea how close she was to getting black and blued before we show up. And it's good to see you guys. Happy birthday, my Brady. How are you gonna punch her? Right in the back of the head. And that awkward boo. Boy, it ruins it for everyone else. Everyone feels that. Everyone. I remember you and your ex wife got into a fight once, came to the house and I could feel it. You walked in the door and I'm like, oh, boy.

[Brady]

It walked in before we.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, gosh. It was knocking and I opened the door. There's nobody. There's nobody here yet. Like, what is that? Oh, it's the ghost of a horrible argument that's heading our direction. And I remember that one. You walked in and we're like, oh. And she's smiling and you had a look on your face like, I'm gonna kill her. I'm gonna kill her. You. How close were you that night to turning around? You had to what?

[Brady]

Going back home.

[John Holmberg]

Going back home.

[Brady]

Oh, I. I kept saying that the entire time. We're canceling. We're not going.

[John Holmberg]

We said we were gonna be there.

[Brady]

I don't care. They'll understand.

[John Holmberg]

And we made a night of it. Yeah. I don't know if you guys stayed mad afterwards.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why do we do.

[Brady]

This is a wonderful night.

[John Holmberg]

Why do we do that to each other? Why wouldn't you just go, hey, we're in a vicious one on one here?

[Brady]

I tried, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but.

[Brady]

All right, fine.

[John Holmberg]

Let's just still mad. This was 15 years ago. I remember.

[Brady]

I'm happy now, believe me.

[John Holmberg]

But I remember it like it was yesterday.

[Brett]

How long did it last?

[Brady]

Probably two days. It was brutal.

[John Holmberg]

They weren't.

[Brady]

Because it got worse.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

You were there for the. When it got. It got more. Because everybody got involved. Then when we all met up with that same night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Because the ladies went one direction, we went the other. And then we went and sat down.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We ditched them.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's how bad it was. We let. I forgot about that. We went out, met him at a bar, and two of them were being horrible C words. One was Brett's wife, and then another one's just the friend of a friend of a friend and mouthing off to us like we'd all done something wrong. And I remember turning to Fitz going, bitches are being horrible. Yeah.

[Brady]

We went to TT's afternoon.

[John Holmberg]

We went to TT's and just drank beer. That's right. And we left them. We're gonna take off. Where are you going? Away from this bitch convention. Friends are jerks.

[Brett]

You guys work it out.

[John Holmberg]

I remember that because Megan came to me, and Brett and Tracy are in a pretty big fight. You think? Remember when they knocked and the door turned to ash because of all the heat? But we all do that. And then we don't. We. Like, that night was a little different, but we've all been at dinners. We're like, why don't you guys just go, like, don't do this to everybody else. Why are you faking it? It's too hard.

[Brady]

You can't. Everybody can. You can read. You can read it as soon as. Right on the faces. As soon as they walk in.

[John Holmberg]

Everything okay. Or that moment when there's a snap, somebody says something. You can clearly say, oh, this went from fun to zero. Like, she just punched him for no reason. Something's going on here. Yeah, it's happened. It's plenty of times. Why don't we just turn around? Everyone would understand.

[Brett]

Well, yep. Yeah. There's a few times we're like, if it's gonna be like this, then we're not going.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady]

That's what I was saying.

[John Holmberg]

We can be in the driveway of the place we're supposed to be.

[Brett]

We're fine.

[John Holmberg]

Be like, all right, let's. Let's effing pretend for the next two hours. This should be fun, because it's everybody's last words in the car. Oh, this is gonna be a great time. Let's go. Hey, what's going on, Brad? How you guys doing? And you play pretend to get back in the car, and you're immediately angry again. Want to drink? Yes.

[Brady]

And keep them coming now.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. We're idiots. Well, that's going on with the Suns right now. And all the other players are sitting at dinner going, something's wrong with Nurk and Bud, and I don't know what to do. Talk. Bring it up. You got too many people spending too much money to watch, you know, Knott's Landing pop off on the bench in some cruddy soap opera. Fix it or trade everyone. They're not terrible. They're not good enough to win a championship. Let's not fool ourselves. Trade everyone, starting with Devin Booker and watch all the girls lose. Mind you, I'm. I went to trade him as the face of the franchise because this franchise sucks. End of story. I'm not going to be like Cardinal fans with false hope and all this. It sucks. You have to recognize when a franchise sucks and it's trying to be better, but zero championships in 54 years. Your franchise sucks.

[Brady]

I don't see them getting rid of Butcher, though.

[John Holmberg]

Then they're dumb, too. And that's what's going to keep you sucking. It's what happened with, like I said before, Larry Fitzgerald, Shane Doane, we hang on to these people because they sell jerseys and people, like, if we get rid of them, the team has no, like, identity and nobody that. You know what? Right now, your identity is a team that just has a guy you like and no championship, no chance at it. You're not in the same category. You got to trade him. He's got to go.

[Brady]

How long is Katie signed for?

[John Holmberg]

Another year. Okay, that's it. And Katie's been delivering, right? No.

[Brady]

No, but he's your window.

[John Holmberg]

He was the hired gun. Devin's the guy that gets you future picks and players. And, like, you can get seven or eight people for Devin and get back on track. You go ahead and keep them and be the team that gets bounced out all the time. But I sometimes look around that arena and think, all right, if everyone pays a hundred bucks to be here each Night on average, things rolling in dough. That's a lot of money. Every, you know, 42 times a night and you think they kind of owe us 54 years. And I know they're trying, but at a certain point, you gotta off the face of the franchise and redo some media stuff. People shake their heads, no, you can't get rid of Devin Booker. I get you can from the Buffalo Bills. I'm looking at Josh Allen getting out the door. There's a lot of that. You know, we'll never win a championship. It's time to just stop holding on to the one guy that will be the Steelers did it with Ben Roethlisberger way too long. Kept him three years too long. Screwed up the next five years. So anyway, I just don't understand that. You have a fight in your office and then the people stop talking. Like if Tripp didn't talk to Larry and those two work together all the time and they hadn't spoken and could you imagine the drama that would go on in here? It already goes on. Oh, yeah, but if Trip, I'm not talking on that Jew boy. And Larry's like, whoopity do. I won't talk to him either. And like, they don't speak. I would sit, I would go, guys, you realize how hard you're making it for everybody else with your petty baby crap? Get it together.

[Brett]

Channel three.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why are you here? Nobody cares. Well, I think you guys should care. Kupd. The boss and the boss are not talking. Yeah, there's, you know, there's obviously going to be some relationships at work that aren't great, but if two people that have to talk aren't talking and the rest of the team's like, yeah, that just happened, that's garbage. I hand it to Jerry Colangelo. Your people, Brett. Back in 87 when he realized that the Suns were more of a drug running operation than they were a basketball team, he said, this is bad. Everybody's gonna get shot or arrested. And he traded everybody, stepped in the door and traded everybody. You gotta go. Walter Davis. Sweet D, what a great nickname. You're gone. What? Going to Denver. Get out. Why? Cuz this is a drug running operation and you didn't say anything? James Edwards has got cocaine in his ass during the games and you didn't say anything. You. Everybody's going, you know, if I found out Brett was muling, you know, booger sugar up his ass every day, and I didn't say, I'm getting him out of here, this thing's gonna Collapse the second Brett goes down and we all look stupid. If I knew about it and I looked dumber, Jerry went in and did some work. We need another one. Matt Ishbian needs to come in and go, this isn't working. Everybody goes. He tried it, but everybody's gotta go anyway. Pay too much money. Sons are pissing me off. All the local sports need to get it together. The Diamondbacks are the best franchise in town. Yikes.

[Brett]

Can you imagine what you. You know, you have right now with the Suns? Your Rah Rah room, the tickets, and they are in the lead.

[John Holmberg]

If they were the best team in basketball right now, with all the experience in that building, when they're just good. I mean, 20, 21. Yeah. If they had the Rah Rah room, then it would have been a New Year's Eve every day.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

It's already fun, and they're just average. But you know what everybody's talking about in the Rah Rah room. Do you hear Bud Nirk aren't talking? It's like, we're the View. That's brutal. Anyway, fix that and fix it. If you. If you're. And let's make a pact between us and all the listeners. If you're in a fight with your wife or husband and you're going somewhere, just turn around and go home. Have. Have at the fight, please. You don't owe anybody anything. Even if you're hosting, it's like, no, we invited all these people. If you're having a fight and people are coming to your house, when do you leave? She had to go. Her mother's sick or something. I don't know. I don't care.

[Brady]

Toledo did that. That one time for New Year's Eve. He. He was, like, three blocks from the house. He's like, I'm not gonna make it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, why? What's wrong? Come on. Yeah, she's a crazy bitch, and I gotta get her home. And I don't know that they came, but that was the one that left her kids with him and then started dating other people.

[Brady]

Oh, that was the same one.

[John Holmberg]

I think so.

[Brady]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

The one that didn't move in with him, but her kids did. Toledo, go home, and these strangers are there, and the lady's like, I got a date. Is that. Is that. That wasn't. That was a different crazy. That was a different one. I thought that was the same one.

[Dick Toledo]

The one that went to the van with Eric and professed her love for me on Valentine's Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, The One that left her kids is now kind of a drug addict up in Flagstaff.

[John Holmberg]

Stealing out of houses to make it full circle.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

Unbelievable.

[Dick Toledo]

It's been bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I talked to our buddy Kevin, and he had some new recruits from Flagstaff Police.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Dick Toledo]

Down in Queen Creek. He's like, hey, we know this guy that she's married to, and he's not a good dude.

[John Holmberg]

So you. You drive him to the Coos gal. That would be two. Yeah. She's just not there yet. Toledo has got two exes that went to jail.

[Brett]

She's fast tracking.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But that wasn't the same one you got in the fight with on the way to Brett's house.

[Dick Toledo]

That was on. The one on Brett's house is just a brief.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. She wasn't a long termer. Yeah, but you were gonna bring her over, and you're like, this bitch is too nuts to bring in front of my friends.

[Brady]

It's like a mile from the house.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't like we were driving a short distance.

[Dick Toledo]

It started, well, you know, having fun, and we're on the way down there. And then she started saying a few things, and I'm like, what'd she say?

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even remember. But there was enough to turn you around. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

There were just comments where I'm like, I cannot bring these around. Co workers.

[John Holmberg]

It was like, violent stuff or. No, no, no. Just.

[Brady]

Just lunatics.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just lunatic, crazy stuff. Now I want to invent a time machine and get in the backseat of Toledo's car on his way to Brett's because we were all going to Queen Creek for Brett.

[Dick Toledo]

You guys were there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Had a house in Queen Creek. We're like, all right, we'll do it. This is a terrible idea on New Year. Oh, it's awful.

[Dick Toledo]

I had to drive from Los Angeles all the way down there.

[John Holmberg]

Any. No matter where you lived, it was too far to go.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You could live in Mason. Be like Queen Creek. Jesus Christ, Brett. But we went to your New year's thing at Queen Creek.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then Toledo called it 1140. I'm not coming. Got to get a crazy.

[Brady]

Me too, you know, hey.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't bring her.

[Dick Toledo]

And drove another 45 minutes to my house in Maricopa.

[John Holmberg]

Were you worried about. Oh, my God. Were you worried about her saying something to us?

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That was embarrassing. Or 100 about you just in general.

[Dick Toledo]

How did you end with this crazy broad?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so she just said Goofy stuff a lot. Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

And how heated was. Or how was it quiet when you did the turnaround? That's a. We're going back. I'm calling it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

We're going to my house.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you took her Bones are quiet. Absolutely boned or quiet away from friends. So that was less a fight and more like, I can't have her around people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna have crazy, private, one on one moments with this one. I'll sleep with you, but yuck. For my friends. They're not gonna meet you. Hang on. Did we ever meet her? We never met her. No. Was the one in San Diego the one that moved in with you? Yep. Her kids did. Yep. She was nice.

[Dick Toledo]

She was great then.

[John Holmberg]

But now she's a drug addict. I. Yeah, man. That was 20 years ago. And then you come home.

[Dick Toledo]

It was right before. Lisa and I've been together for 15 years. And so a little before that, 16 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Toledo stories are always the best. At least Brett and Tracy just got divorced. This.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He sends them to you must have a huge haul because these chicks without you just jump right into the who's cow. I think they go crazy. I will. I'm going to say Toledo must be hung magic so much that it, like, drives women crazy.

[Brett]

Let's go there. Let's. Let's. Turn around.

[John Holmberg]

Turn around. I'm going to hog you. And I got to warn you, you're never going to get a hug like this again in your life. So when I break up with you, you're probably going to end up in jail, like, all crazy, because it's happened too often to not be something. It's you.

[Dick Toledo]

I do think that one, the one I was going to Brett's house with, this had a mental break, though.

[John Holmberg]

She had a mental breakdown years ago. Yeah. When she lost her kids at your house. And never really.

[Dick Toledo]

Not that one.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Thank God I didn't have to take in those. Okay, I'm getting all your stories messed up anyway. Toast is the most interesting person ever. It's too bad he can't tell the stories. Let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not we.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.