01-28-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 01-28-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY Release Date: January 28, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg (Host)
• Brady Bogan (Co-host)
• Bret Vesely (Co-host)
• Dick Toledo (Co-host)
• Frank Caliendo (Guest)

---

1. Opening Banter and Light-Hearted Conversations

The show kicks off with the hosts engaging in their usual humorous exchanges. John Holmberg introduces the day's theme, which quickly delves into a playful discussion about erectile dysfunction pills:

• [01:09] John Holmberg: "Speaking of blue pills."
• [01:38] Brady Bogan: "So you're not going to come in like Peter North or anything?"

The conversation continues with jokes and witty remarks about the effectiveness and expectations surrounding such medications.

2. Musical Interlude and Live Music Commentary

After the initial banter, the hosts transition to discussing live music:

• [03:04] John Holmberg: "Prior to that, we heard Bikini's Juice, which is one of my favorite songs ever."

John expresses nostalgia for live feedback in music, lamenting the lack of it in the digital age and encouraging local bands to incorporate feedback into their recordings.

3. Story Segment: A Cautionary Tale of Continuous Crime

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a story shared by John about a 51-year-old burglar from his friend's cousin who continues to rob cars and houses despite having a family and a job:

• [04:07] John Holmberg: "It's a very strange sensation. It makes you realize what a pud you've been for a while now."

The hosts discuss the implications of age on criminal behavior, debating whether individuals in their fifties should still engage in such activities. They touch upon topics like kleptomania versus intentional theft, societal perceptions of aging criminals, and personal anecdotes related to witnessing or dealing with such individuals.

4. Humorous Takes on Popular Culture and Personal Experiences

The conversation shifts to pop culture references and personal anecdotes:

• [06:05] John Holmberg: "Going in style. And it was four old men that were robbing banks and nobody suspected him because nobody, you know, why would they."

The hosts reminisce about movies like "Going in Style," comparing fictional heists to real-life scenarios. They also share personal stories, such as interactions with friends and family members involved in questionable activities, blending humor with social commentary.

5. Guest Interaction: Frank Caliendo Joins the Show

Frank Caliendo, a guest on the show, participates in the lively discussions:

• [43:35] John Holmberg: "Tell a Brady Happy chocolate cake Jew Day."
• [44:02] Frank Caliendo: "It's a mustache, ladies and gentlemen."

Frank engages in comedic exchanges, including mock translations and playful critiques of John's mustache. Their interaction adds a layer of improvisational humor to the episode.

6. Promotions and Event Announcements

Throughout the show, John promotes upcoming events and collaborations:

• [50:34] John Holmberg: "They do have a good shrimp scampi. Yeah. Yeah. I'm for a while there, thought I wanted to be, like, a regular at a dive bar."

He announces a beer release event at Four Peaks in Tempe, emphasizing that proceeds will benefit the Arizona Humane Society:

• [52:07] John Holmberg: "He's doing Stuff Now Everywhere. But it's like."

7. Satirical News Commentary

John takes a satirical approach to commenting on local news stories, specifically criticizing Channel 3's handling of a donation incident:

• [134:56] John Holmberg: "We're going to put the best guy, Chris Hansen. He's going to catch bad guys, immigrants."

He mocks the superficiality of news reporting and the mistrust surrounding anonymous donations to the Navajo Nation, blending sharp criticism with humor.

8. Music Segments and Top Releases

The hosts introduce new music tracks, showcasing a variety of artists and genres:

• [158:27] Brett: "This is Tombstone town."
• [160:26] Brett: "How about new stuff from Kill Switch? Engage."

They play excerpts from songs, occasionally offering humorous critiques and personal opinions on the music presented.

9. Final Remarks and Closing Promotions

As the show nears its end, John reiterates the promotion for the beer release event:

• [162:53] Frank Caliendo: "How great is this?"
• [163:33] John Holmberg: "That's why I'm here."

He emphasizes the charitable aspect of the event, encouraging listeners to participate and support the Humane Society.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• John Holmberg [00:33]: "Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail."

• Brady Bogan [01:38]: "So you're not going to come in like Peter North or anything?"

• Frank Caliendo [44:32]: "It's a mustache. It is. It counts."

• John Holmberg [134:56]: "Anonymous donor donates. Now, those three words together automatically makes you feel all right."

• Brett [162:07]: "It's a cross between the original Roseanne show and the Sopranos."

• John Holmberg [167:08]: "Crushing it. How did that go?"

• Frank Caliendo [170:04]: "The comedian. That's actually Mo himself."

---

Conclusion:

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" is a blend of humor, personal stories, pop culture references, and satirical commentary on local news. The dynamic interactions between the hosts and their guest, Frank Caliendo, create an engaging and entertaining environment for listeners. Promotions for upcoming events are seamlessly integrated, ensuring that listeners are informed about charitable initiatives while being thoroughly entertained.

Tune in next weekday from 5:30 AM to 10 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM, the 98KUPD app, or www.98kupd.com) to catch more of Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's on a delay. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. Big Dick's lead around here somewhere. All ready to go. Mike sitting the button and it wasn't running there. The was on a delay. It's not normal way to start today. It is. Yeah. We need to get a pill. I suppose it's not quite where it should. Yeah. Speaking of blue pills.

[Brady Bogan]

No, nothing.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't take it or you didn't get one?

[Brady Bogan]

No, neither.

[John Holmberg]

Brett had access to a erectile dysfunction pill yesterday here in the building.

[Brady Bogan]

He kept saying how great it is.

[John Holmberg]

I'll give it a shot. I don't think yours works anymore. If it didn't work.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I didn't, I didn't have a chance to use it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, you didn't try it?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, I didn't have a chance to use it.

[John Holmberg]

I got. You got excited about. I'm like, look, I've tried these things.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, I'm going to.

[John Holmberg]

The boner pill is magic. And again, a little disappointing because you, you know, you don't feel like the gradual loss of.

[Brady Bogan]

So you're not going to come in like Peter north or anything? Well, you're not going to decorate or what?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're, you're going to excite yourself the first few times to maybe decorate. Oh, really? Okay. But not, No, I mean, let's not, let's hold back a little of the expectations. You're never, you're never going to. There's no pill that's going to make you.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't want to sell it that far, you know, so.

[John Holmberg]

What a great legacy he has, though, to be the guy that's known as the decorator. And you bring him Up. I mean, that is. And it's like, in reverence. Nobody's saying it as, like, Jesus, that guy. Like, women would be like, ah, the decorator. It was a. It was a marvelous thing for him to be. It's a great. Something we'd all wish we could have done. There's gotta be a decorator out there. Like, driving along going, I'm one of those. He can't be alone. But even in the industry he's in, he stood out. Like, it's impressive. So anyway, aside from all that. Well, maybe you could take it this morning and give us a report on later in the afternoon. Because I'm telling you, if you haven't done it. And I know guys are like, oh, that's for people who can't get it up. No, it isn't. Trust me. It's a very strange sensation. It's. It makes you realize what a pud you've been for a while now. Brady, I want you to try it. Yeah, yeah. It helps. It does. It'll wait. Like, it will wake you up.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

It will wake you up if you're healthy downstairs and you pop one of those things.

[Brady Bogan]

So it just enhances it that much more.

[John Holmberg]

It takes you to a level of like, if your blood flow is this good and you're not in need of it, because I think I would imagine if you're in need of it, it would just bring you back to, like, nor the HUD stat. This thing takes you back to when you were 18. If everything's flowing, man. Pretty outstanding. Pretty outstanding. Just, you know, just a little aside. Prior to that, we heard Bikini's Juice, which is one of my favorite songs ever. You pop that in there live and at the end of it, the feedback kicked in. And it's been a minute since we've had a set. Like, no new music is, including that. This is the digital age. And I know they were digitized, but not like computer. I missed the feedback. There's no bands that are breaking feedback into their songs. Highly recommend if you're a local band to get that in there because there's no. There's no bad feedback when it's in a recorded song, when you can control it. I want to turn that up. It's like Q tips in your ears. Too deep. Feels so good. Lekini's Juice is one of them. There aren't many others.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, some of the bands we had on Playdio sounded like that's. It could have been three minutes of feedback.

[John Holmberg]

I would rather have heard that in A lot of cases. I love feedback and I forgot about it when that song ended. I'm like, yes, gives you rejuvenation. And then yesterday we talked about that guy who got shot in his. In the house. That was a friend of mine's cousin actually he was a burglar and he got shot 51 year old house burglar on 106th in Indian school. And got that. Got an email from a guy at text from a guy that said, hey John, just to let you know, My cousin is 62 in Dallas. He still robs cars and houses regularly. I hung out with him a while ago. He's got a job, a family, no drug problems. And he tells me, I've done this my whole life and I'm never gonna stop. It is my drug. I love it. It's. And he always says that he's certifiably crazy. My mom always told me to stay away from him. But now he's 62, I'm 48, and I still like being around him. But at any given time he'll break into something and show up with you and say, look what I just got. Oh, 62 years old.

[Brady Bogan]

Keeping it real.

[John Holmberg]

I thought that ended like. Maybe I'm just naive to it, but maybe that's because I just look at that as like a young man's thing. I didn't realize people had.

[Brett]

I wonder how wanted to do he would react if he. The the opposite happened to him. Someone steals from him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I wonder if, I wonder if he can maybe like a little more lenient. I'm like, well, you know, well, he got me, he got me. I've got plenty of my, you know, I wonder. Yeah. Does he get pissed? When does he watch the news and go, somebody's got to do something about all this crap.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because I don't look at. I. Maybe I need to start doing that. Start eyeballing some folks who are a little older and think, all right, keep your eye on that one. He's a thief. That's why there was that old movie years ago with George Burns. They remade it with Morgan Freeman here recently. But George Burns and who was it? Art Carney.

[Brady Bogan]

Going in style.

[John Holmberg]

Going in style. And it was four old men that were robbing banks and nobody suspected him because nobody, you know, why would they.

[Brady Bogan]

It was the other guy.

[John Holmberg]

There were two other dudes in that too. And they die as they is Alan Arkin. No, he was in the new one. But yeah, it was. And they're going, and you're looking, you're like, so it makes me think, is Tripp. Is this just a front? And he's like a cat burglar. Like, you don't ever. You never look at old people as the bad guy, and they could get away. Like, as I get older, you start realizing, get away with murder here, going in style is the perfect. If you haven't seen it, it's actually. If I remember right, it's pretty good. The remake was terrible. I think it was Lee Strasberg. Lee Strasberg, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. And I forget who else was in the new one. I think it was Alan Arkin and somebody else.

[Brady Bogan]

Christopher Lloyd.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Doc Brown was in that. I forgot about that. But it wasn't anywhere near as good as the George Burns and Art Carney one. But then they die one at a time until one of them just left. They kind of get in fights because they don't know how to spread the loot around. But I don't look at old people as potentially criminal. But I think I need to start doing that because 51's too. Guy got shot. He's 50. 51's too old to be busting into houses or cars or any. Any ages. It's never a good age. But, I mean, there's some that you're like, all right, dumb kid. Like, at 51, not only do you know better, you're just gonna. You're gonna get shot like that guy did. You don't have. Like. I've realized lately that my feet are a problem when I run. They're flat. They don't. I don't curve them like I used to. As I get older, I'm like, ah, getaways are going to be tougher. Like, I'm. I'm too sleepy a lot of the times to want to try to break in and get that adrenaline. I don't want that adrenaline rush. Testosterone levels have dropped to normal to kind of keep me from wanting that high. I want to get into the mind of us. I want to hang out with. I want to do a ride along basically with somebody in their 60s who still does, you know, be an ease and stuff. I just want to be around.

[Brett]

Would that be considered a kleptomaniac?

[John Holmberg]

I think because you're kind of addicted.

[Brett]

Because they're like an adrenaline rush.

[Brady Bogan]

It's.

[Brett]

It's a drug.

[John Holmberg]

But don't kleptomaniacs do it? Not really. Know they're doing it. Like, they'll grab stuff and leave and go, I did it. Or if. Yeah, maybe they're just rushing in and they. They're completely aware.

[Brett]

I just think it's kind of like an addiction thing more than anything. A kleptomania.

[John Holmberg]

Because kleptos like will grab your keys or a phone or whatever, why you're not looking. They don't like bust indoors or break into cars.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think I'm busting windows in the. In hars Tesla.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Whoops. You have to understand, I have a disease. I'm a kleptomaniac. I think it's. Kleptomaniacs will like take things off of your desk.

[Brett]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're.

[Brett]

They're the shiny objects they go after.

[John Holmberg]

The health condition that causes people to steal items they don't need. Maybe. But I don't think you break in. They say they feel tension before stealing and relief after. A guilt or shame afterwards. I don't know that they're breaking into houses. Kleptomaniacs. I don't think if they're in your house, you got to watch them. They'll steal stuff. They're like gypsies. Like if you let them in then stuff's going to go missing. That's different. But you know, having your door kicked in by some 61 year old man. I don't know, I just look at it very strange. This dude's cousin does it. And again good for the family to not rat him out. But I probably. They don't like him and they don't have him over or anything because that's something I wouldn't want to hang out if I found out I had like a 60, like a bradium fellow. He's breaking the cars and stuff. We're not ever. Like you're pretty much off the list. Because I don't want to be there the night you get shot and catch friendly fire or some sort of, you know, side bullet bouncing off of you because you decided to bust into an accord. Because it's your. I just. I never wouldn't. I don't. I think the cutoff age for that kind of stuff is 30. If you're still robbing at 30. Who's the. I don't know.

[Brett]

It just seems the actress that got.

[John Holmberg]

Busted years ago, Winona Ryder.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She was swiping. She was shoplifting. I think that was the. I think that's always the go to. Was. Yeah. That was kind of like sex addiction when you get caught, you know, like always in sex ed. Well, yeah, he was a sex addict. We're all sex addicts. That guy just got caught being a bad guy. And his wife said, you got to do something about this. So he went over to Wickenburg. David Duchovny, a handsome Hollywood actor, had side pee. Yes, he's an addict and he needs to be cured. It's the biggest lie in the history. Tiger woods went to sex addiction. Tiger woods wasn't addicted to sexual that way. Not in a way that was destroying. Tiger woods just didn't have self control and that was a bigger thing. Opportunities showed up. We're there for more than any man could ever imagine. Opportunities were thrown at him more than any man could imagine. And he got busted. And then so he had to play like it was a disease, which it isn't. David Letterman thought it was Michael Douglas. All these guys that have, you know, chicks throwing themselves at him all the time. They're like, well, I've got this disease, you see. Okay, then you're not allowed outside and you can't make movies anymore. But they never try to actually cure sex addiction with what it is. Oh, it's your notoriety. You're handsome, you've got money. We're going to take all that away from me because that's what's, you know, really fueling your disease. Like hell no, don't take that away from me. Just make it so my wife doesn't take half my stuff. You don't go to the sex thing. She's leaving. Jesus Christ. All right, I'll play pretend I'm going to get cured. No other addiction on the planet sends you off for 30 days to get cured and then says, all right, go back out there and dabble with it.

[Brett]

Yeah, that was like going back, you, you gotta quit cocaine for a while.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you go, 28 days, we got you in here. Now go back out there and try to just do a reasonable amount of cocaine. That's what they do to sex addicts. Go back out there and just have normal people sex. Well, I'm an addict. Once I taste it, I'm gonna want it more. Silly. That's silly. Alcoholics never get that whole, we're trying to get you guys down to one or two a day. It doesn't happen. It's cold turkey or it's nothing. That's an addiction. That's why I always look at sex addicts. It's the stupidest thing. But we don't have like a 62 year old dude, like this is an addict for theft. He's just nuts. He's gonna get shot. You can't be around that guy anyway. I just look at old people as better than that, and I don't know why, because. Why. Why do I assume old people are good, They've lived nice, long lives. Right.

[Brett]

Just because you think, oh, you'd be over it at 62.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I just don't think you have the energy or the, you know, the drive to want to keep stealing. And plus, by then, you probably had established something in your life, right? Towards like, I'm not gonna bust into people's houses. This is what I've got. It can't be. I don't know. Maybe they're angrier than I give them. Like, the. They got nothing, and they're. They're constantly pissed off. It's a good question, though. I wonder if he watches the news and thinks to himself, we gotta do something about this. This whole crime thing. Not me, but everybody else. All this Crime is bad. 62, Again, like I told the guy yesterday before he got shot, go get a job at five guys and just accept the fact you're bad at it or step it up.

[Brett]

62. I've got over 50 iPhones.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Robin like his collection, right? Like, after a while, it's like, he did it. He. 62. You got. You have to. It's like playing a video game. If you got Red dead redemption, you wouldn't play the first mission over and over and over. You got to step it up. I think in your 30s, if you're robbing cars, you got to go, hey, I'm in my 30s now. It's time to start busting into houses. And then they work your way up and then work your way up to, you know, like, businesses and stuff. I mean, if you're gonna do it as a lifetime thing, by 62, I better hear you. You swipe like. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Robbing banks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, things like that.

[John Holmberg]

You better swipe a diamond with a name people recognize.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, don't steal a Craco stereo out of somebody's Celica.

[John Holmberg]

If you do spark O Matics in your hands, you're like, I got these out of. It's like, you're 62. Rob better stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

That's some class for 60.

[John Holmberg]

That's too easy. At 62, it's too easy to bust into a car and steal somebody's subwoofer. I want you getting in somewhere and coming out with a diamond that people in France are going to be like, well, that diamond over there in Phoenix got robbed. You know about that one? Like the. Like the javelina white or whatever. They just. It's got a name.

[Brett]

Get in your white van and get some good merch, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Settle in on something. Like, still seedy, but because I'd even be shocked. Like, this dude's 62 and he's selling me speakers at the Circle play. All I have is questions for that guy. How bad has this been? How have you not killed yourself? That 62. You still feel the need to kick a door in and swipe some stuff. It's pathetic. But now the doors are all open and I'm seeing old people differently. And I've honestly. Yesterday was the first time I ever looked at anybody even my age and thought, wonder if that guy kicks doors and like, bust into houses and stuff. I don't. It never, never crosses your mind again. My mom had that friend years ago, was the most normal woman I've ever known. Bangs on our door and says, I've got a terrible addiction to crystal methamphetamine. And I've been stealing people I've been robbing blind. I got that knock on the door 20 years ago, 25 years ago now. Where my ex had a. We had a company we were invested in. She worked there. And the lady running the accounting department knocked on our door on a Friday afternoon and said, by the way, company's completely insolvent. I stole everything. I. I've been scrambling to try to get it back, but I took every penny of this company's money. If there's zero, I'm turning myself in. And we're talking like, few hundred thousand dollars that she was just supposed. And she was in charge of it. And she used a little for herself and then dabbled over here a little. And then dabbled and then would mask it because she was in charge of the money. It was a small company, so nobody's sitting in there breathing over her shoulder. It was her department. Knocked on the door and said, you guys are all out. Sorry, nothing we can do about it. Went and took herself to jail, which I think is what I assum. Normal people do when they hit a certain age. I'm like, I can't. I gotta stop. But so if you're out there robbing right now and you're in your 40s, take. Take two seconds, listen to me for two seconds and think, is this Honda Accord really my best option? And then go find like a Jag or some. Break into something good. Take some chances. Step it up if you're gonna do it. Make it count. Stay away from Brett's car. What is that thing like 2014. A nice car. It's a 17. See, mine's a 12. My Jeep's a 12. Don't break into my car. There's nothing in there that's modern enough for you to want. Yeah, don't tell Brady's got a newer car. Break into Brady's car. If you're walking through our parking lot and you're going through Al Franken just got a new Range Rover. We look at it every morning. Bus that bus through into that Hars Tesla. Har's Tesla. Mike's Tesla. Stay away from my car. If you're 20, you could break into my car. It's a starter kit. I get it. But remember this. I'm also a prick and have no forgiveness for this stuff. I've had people say, he's just a. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's 20. I'm like, well, he's gonna figure that out after the full scale of the law lays down on him. And if they give him a few years in jail, he deserves it. Oh, please don't do this to our boy. No, I'm doing it. I'm absolutely pressing charges. Yeah, of course I am. But when you're 60, I don't know if I'm gonna throw the book at you more than I'm just gonna sit there and go, hey, what's with busting into a 2012 Jeep Wrangler? There was a Range Rover right there.

[Brett]

Your kid stuff got away with a couple of coke zeros.

[John Holmberg]

In my car. You're getting a. There might be a pair of tennis shoes. If you're gonna do it, do it right.

[Brady Bogan]

Some dirty tactical black shirts occasionally.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even keep my bag in there anymore. I keep it up at tactical black. Cause it stunk up the car so bad. Even Carlos the car washing guy, noticed. He's like, you got a lot of stuff in that bag. Long time ago. I'm like, I do. And, like, it stinks, too. I wasn't gonna say anything, but it's like he was scrubbing around it. He didn't even touch it. Toxic. A lot of times I keep my keys in my car. Cause. What are you doing stealing a 2012? It doesn't even have, like, Bluetooth technology. I've got insurance. I don't want it stolen. I love it, but, I mean, come on. Do better is what I'm saying. We can all do. People always say that. Do better. That goes for the criminals, too. Don't mess around with Brett's car. And my car. Rob Brady, Rob the guys who have these flashy newer cars. This Range Rover, you know it's used but it's newer. It's got. You liked it because of the bells and whistles in there. Rob that. Rob the good ones.

[Brady Bogan]

Franken's car.

[John Holmberg]

Franken's car's got to go first. That's the. He just got a brand new one. It's nice. I like it. I mean I've never seen it up close but from a distance in the parking lot. It's pretty cool. Kind of all murdered out black. It's. It's a nice looking car. If you're. If you're a criminal of age, that's the one you go for. Leave my. Even Brady's at that point is like worthless. Get the good one or just knock it off and hang yourself. You're 60 and you're still robbing cars. You jerk.

[Brett]

He's looking for the easy marks.

[John Holmberg]

Right? But that's sad. Yeah. You gotta steal stuff that has names. The white javelina diamond has been stolen. Then you get into the guy with the gray hair and the tuxedo. He's graduated. It's terrible. I was at the Rah Rah room last night. We shut her down. Me and Kevin Ray, my buddy Brian were in there and closed up shop. It's pretty awesome in there to be.

[Brett]

Closing up shop is what time at the rah Rah?

[John Holmberg]

About 11:30. They get done about 11 here. You can't stop. You. You can hang around there and keep drinking.

[Brady Bogan]

But they last call you or do.

[John Holmberg]

You stops at 11. I don't think. I think if we stuck around too long there's an awful lot going on in there. But becoming the norm of the Rah Rah room like it's pretty great. I have my own little space. I'm. It's pretty awesome in there. And they're like, you know, people saying hi to me a lot. Yesterday pulled into park to get. There's parking and I even. I got out of the car and guys I go Mr. Holmberg. And I'm like oh, oh. This is. I'm here too much. This is a your norm. I'm loving. And you know what I've decided I'm completely. That what I'm. What I've decided I'm going to do is not buy season tickets next year and just get the rah rah rah. It's genius. Cuts the bill in half.

[Brady Bogan]

Can you do that?

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't everybody will take your money.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I Just. Yeah. I didn't know if you. To go in there, you had to have son's tickets to do it.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't said anything maybe, but I'll try to talk them out of that. Just go ahead and sell my takes on the. Buy tickets to the games I want to go to and hang out in the Rah Rah room for, you know, a lot of the Sun's games. Everybody said, everybody last night that my friend Mark was there. He's like, that is a great idea. It's a. I think that's the plan for the future. That thing's just amazing. Staff, they're all awesome. They know me. I don't know if they're doing that for everybody, if they are the most attentive group ever. But I have a dive bar that is a. That has a membership now that. That is a goal in life I didn't know I needed. But it's. I've hit it and I'm pretty proud of myself.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it open for Mercury Games too?

[John Holmberg]

God damn that you've been there.

[Brady Bogan]

But I'm just asking.

[John Holmberg]

It is, man.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's open, yo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's open every time. I don't. I assume they're just going to close during Mercury games because I don't think there's any rich lesbians. So I don't think they have anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Ellen's coming into town anytime sooner.

[John Holmberg]

Ellen's the only one and she moved.

[Brett]

I don't know. I bet you there.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so. Because they're. They're two women getting paid female wages. That's never good. Yeah, I don't see a lot of.

[Brett]

Someone running a art gallery and stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But not enough to keep alive like a private club. I don't think there are a lot of like.

[Brett]

I don't want to miss. Miss any of the game either.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Yeah.

[Brett]

On tv.

[John Holmberg]

They'd rather not just go hammer a steak and, you know, miss the game. The game. The stake is on the court. That's the meat they want to watch. I mean, if you can imagine being wildly attracted to the Suns as a man. Like, not only do you love watching basketball, but you want to. All the dudes. Yeah, you gotta get a bang. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna smell my finger after I've been with Devin Booker, that kind of thing. That's how the. Well, that's how I imagine they watch those guys. Sophie Cunningham running up and down the court. They're not standing in the rah Rah room. She's in person. They're going back down there. The rich lesbians, they're going to be right up front for their $25 seat. Front row.

[Brady Bogan]

25 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe, maybe, maybe. That might be pushing it. You're right. That might be a little high. And you get to smell the girls as they run by. That's what the. That's. There is no Rah Rah Room that competes with the scent of Tarasi to a lesbian. Scent of taurasi is like, their favorite perfume I wear Scent of terrace. Yeah. They're not going to the Rah Rah Room and having tar when they can go smell the girls sweat and Kelsey Plum runs by, they're gonna lose their mind anyway. So to answer your question, I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like a red lobster in there.

[John Holmberg]

They do have a good shrimp scampi. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. For a while there, thought I wanted to be, like, a regular at a dive bar. You know, I tried it at the Swizzle Inn, and then things went sideways and. Not allowed in there anymore. I think you have to go highfalutin. Like, the Boom Boom Room's the one place that I. I want to. I want to someday walk into the Boom Boom Room, Whitey, have everybody scream, what's up, Whitey? Like, be the one guy. How you guys doing? What's it like outside, Whitey? It's bright. You guys would hate it. One Courvoisier, please. Yeah.

[Brett]

And here's your saltines.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Here's your crackers and Mandy's. Whitey, you want some plain wings? I would love some plain wings. Thank you. What's shaking, Whitey? All four cheeks and a couple chins there, Lamont. I would love to be the norm of the place I don't belong. I'm starting to feel. Feel like that is going on at the Rah Rah Room. It's a pretty great thing. And that's a great place to, you know, they. They hide all the cars, so you can't rob that. But that's like. That's a group of people that, if you're 62, you're like, make your mark. Don't kill anyone. Just steal properly.

[Brady Bogan]

They hide all the cars at the Boom Boom Room.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Boom Boom Room. No, don't. Do not rob anyone unless you have a death wish. Because I imagine there's a lot of armed people at the Boom Boom room. Everybody at 16th Street, McDowell pretty much off limits for robbery, if you ask me, because that. That's a group of people gonna Fight back. They're gonna fight back. And the Escalades, they will fight for. They're not sitting back. Think. Well, I'm insured. No, there's stuff in there you don't want, like baby clothes. And those seats are expensive. I'm insured by Smith and Wesson takes care of that. Yeah, you gotta be very careful with that stuff anyway. But yeah. And Brady, I was gonna see. It's your birthday week tomorrow. Would you watch this? Brett, would you like to join me into the rah Rah room in a son's game for your birthday celebration? Of course. You would.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, of course. I've opened the door to the rah Rah room to one of the riff raff. Wow. That's right. Now same rules applies. I gave Dale dress like a adult and be normal. That's it. That's all there is. And we'll go and you got a drink. You gotta be able to guzzle it down with me. And then we're probably gonna stay till like 12 and shut her down again. That's your birthday celebration. That's how the Rah Rah room works.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not happening.

[John Holmberg]

It's happening. He'll have no options. None. I'll take his phone away. There'll be no Ubering now.

[Brady Bogan]

Kirby's gonna have something planned for him. He's not. He's not gonna be.

[John Holmberg]

Tomorrow's not his birthday. That's why I'm doing this. Kirby can't have plans for him on a Wednesday night. That's not his actual birthday. Brady will be in the Rah Rah room tomorrow. You get to meet the. The. All the people. Just. They just. It's. It's. It's exceptional.

[Brett]

The candy room.

[John Holmberg]

There's a candy room. You could steal all that candy. We rated that last night. Charleston chews everywhere. The Rah Rah rah room's pretty great, but I'm not. We're skipping most of the stuff. We watched a lot of Suns game last night. It was a good game, but it's pretty fun. And then sun's got something going on that I don't understand at all. How in the world does Nurkic, their center, go to Channel 3 two days ago and say, I haven't spoken to the head coach of this team in two months and there he is on the bench. He's going to practice.

[Brett]

There seems to be opportunities.

[John Holmberg]

There seems to be loads. Like last night, I saw two or three when they were like a foot and a half away from each other. Could have just gone, hey, what's up, nerd? No. No contact between a coach. It's like, if you and I didn't talk, like, no, I'm not talking to him. People would notice other people in the room. Be like, you two should probably sort this out.

[Brett]

Yeah. Someone on, you know, you're a team.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody on that team needs to be a leader. Booker, Durant, I think you guys get paid a ton of money.

[Brett]

That's their thing.

[John Holmberg]

Right? That is not a healthy situation at all. And so we fire Monte Williams a few years ago, you get rid of Frank Vogel, which I was all for. You bring in Budenholzer, and you have the same issues, which is nobody's in charge of this thing. If you have a guy at your work that you have to work with and you haven't, like, he's your employee and you haven't talked to him in two months, what's going on in that room where everybody has to hate each other if they're not even trying to fix it? I mean, I can't even imagine going to work every day with a guy I haven't spoken to in two months because he won't talk to me, and I'm not talking to him. And there's 12 people at your office. And you two are crucial. Sons are a disaster.

[Brady Bogan]

Doesn't look like there's that Michael Jordan kind of come in and kick ass in locker room.

[John Holmberg]

But, like, you'd have to hold people accountable. Let's. Yeah, let's sort this out. But it goes to channel three first. Channel three is the one that goes, oh, by the way, Nurkic just told me he hasn't talked to the head coach of the team in two months. And I blame Kevin Durant and Devin Booker. Like, we gotta. What a mess this thing is. Break it up. And I'll say it again. I've said it a million times. You gotta trade Devin Booker right now for this team to do anything decent from here to the future. And I know the fans would hate it, but you gotta trade this guy. It has to go. But you can't have that.

[Brett]

A coach can't let that happen. No, I mean, it's like, look, I know you don't want to talk to me. We gotta find out what's going on here.

[John Holmberg]

You'd knock on his door and you go, you know, on a.

[Brett]

You don't want to be here.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, let's do something. Oh, yeah, but I'm not gonna have you sitting on the bench. I'm certainly not having you go Talk to Channel 3 and say, Coach doesn't talk to me. If you want to wreck this, do it from somewhere else. You don't like me, I don't like you. Let's make an agreement. Jimmy Butler just. I mean, he's not even going to show up to Miami anymore. They suspended him. Do the same thing with Nurkic. He's on the bench last night with his hood up. Just sit a healthy scratch and just.

[Brady Bogan]

Kind of like pouting.

[John Holmberg]

Pouting all he wants. It's on the coach to just turn and go, hey, grown up, do you have a problem? Were you telling the news about. Talk to me, Come to me. One of those two has to be a grown up. And Kevin Durant and Devin Booker have to be the ones that go over and say, hey, dickheads, you're wrecking the team. Being this is awkward.

[Brett]

The election's over.

[John Holmberg]

Let's start playing ball, right? Maybe it was election related. The everybody's been to a dinner where one of the couples shows up and clearly has been in a fight on the way in. We've all been to that dinner. In fact, we've probably all been that couple. Or you got to put on the face and like, hey, how's it going? I'm gonna punch her so hard. You have no idea how close she was to getting black and blued before we show up. And it's good to see you guys. Happy birthday, my Brady. How are you gonna punch her Right in the back of the head. And that awkward. Boo. Boy, it ruins it for everyone else. Everyone feels that. Everyone. I remember you and your ex wife got into a fight once. Came to the house and I could feel it. You walked in the door and I'm like, oh, boy.

[Brady Bogan]

It walked in before we.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, gosh. It was knocking and I opened the door, there's nobody. There's nobody here yet. What is that? Oh, it's the ghost of a horrible argument that's heading our direction. And I remember that one. You walked in and we're like, oh. And she's smiling and you had a look on your face like, I'm gonna kill her. I'm gonna kill her. You. How close were you that night to turning around? You had to what?

[Brady Bogan]

Going back home.

[John Holmberg]

Going back home.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I. I kept saying that the entire time. We're canceling. We're not going.

[John Holmberg]

We said we were gonna be there.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't care. They'll understand.

[John Holmberg]

And we made a night of it. Yeah. I don't know if you guys stayed mad afterwards.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It Was, why do we do.

[Brady Bogan]

This is a wonderful night.

[John Holmberg]

Why do we do that to each other? Why wouldn't you just go, hey, we're in a vicious one on one here?

[Brady Bogan]

I tried, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but. All right, fine.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's just go.

[John Holmberg]

Still mad?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This was 15 years ago. I remember.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm happy now, believe me.

[John Holmberg]

But I remember it like it was yesterday.

[Brett]

How long did it last?

[Brady Bogan]

Probably two days. It was brutal.

[John Holmberg]

They weren't.

[Brady Bogan]

Because it got worse.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

You were there for the. When it got even. It got more. Because everybody got involved. Then when we all met up with.

[John Holmberg]

That same night.

[Brady Bogan]

The same night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Because the ladies went one direction, we went the other. And then we went and sat down.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We ditched them.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's how bad it was. We let. I forgot about that. We went out, met him at a bar, and two of them were being horrible C words. One was Brett's wife, and another one's just the friend of a friend of a friend and mouthing off to us like we'd all done something wrong. And I remember turning to Fitz going, bitches are being horrible.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. We went to TT's afternoon.

[John Holmberg]

We went to TT's and just drank beer. That's right. And we left them. We're gonna take off. Where are you going? Away from this bitch convention. Friends are jerks.

[Brett]

You guys work it out.

[John Holmberg]

I remember that because Megan came to me, and Brett and Tracy are in a pretty big fight. You think? Remember when they knocked and the door turned to ash because of all the heat? But we all do that. And then we don't. We. Like, that night was a little different, but we've all been at dinners. We're like, why don't you guys just go, like, don't do this to everybody else. Why are you faking it? It's too hard.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't. Everybody can. You can read. You can read it as soon as. Right on the faces. As soon as they walk in.

[John Holmberg]

Everything okay. Or that moment when there's a snap, somebody says something, you can clearly say, oh, this went from fun to zero. Like, she just punched him for no reason. Something's going on here. Yeah, it's happened. It's plenty of times. Why don't we just turn around? Everyone would understand.

[Brett]

Well, yep. Yeah. There's a few times we're like, if it's gonna be like this, then we're not going.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's what I was saying. We can be in the driveway of the place we're supposed to be.

[Brett]

We're fine.

[John Holmberg]

Be like, all right, let's. Let's effing pretend for the next two hours. This should be fun because it's everybody's last words in the car. Oh, this is gonna be a great time. Let's go. Hey, what's going on, Fred? How you guys doing? And you play pretend to get back in the car, and you're immediately angry again.

[Brett]

Want to drink?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

And keep them coming.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now.

[John Holmberg]

We'Re idiots. Well, that's going on with the Suns right now. And all the other players are sitting at dinner going, something's wrong with Nurkin, Bud, and I don't know what to talk. Bring it up. You got too many people spending too much money to watch, you know, Knott's Landing pop off on the bench in some cruddy soap opera. Fix it or trade everyone. They're not terrible. They're not good enough to win a championship. Let's not fool ourselves. Trade everyone, starting with Devin Booker and watch all the girls lose. Why would you trade him as the face of the franchise? Because this franchise sucks. End of story. I'm not gonna be like Cardinal fans with false hope and all this. It sucks. You have to recognize when a franchise sucks and it's trying to be better, but zero championships in 54 years. Your franchise sucks.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't see them getting rid of them.

[John Holmberg]

Then they're dumb, too. And that's what's going to keep you sucking. It's what happened with, like I said before, Larry Fitzgerald, Shane Doane, we hang on to these people because they sell jerseys and people like, if we get rid of them, the team has no, like, identity and nobody that. You know what, right now, your identity is a team that just has a guy you like and no championship, no chance at it. You're not in the same category. You got to trade him. He's got to go.

[Brady Bogan]

How long is Katie signed for?

[John Holmberg]

Another year. Okay, that's it. And Katie's been delivering, right?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, but he's your window.

[John Holmberg]

He was the hired gun. Devin's the guy that gets you future picks and players. And, like, you can get seven or eight people for Devon and get back on track, you go ahead and keep them and be the team that gets bounced out all the time. But I sometimes look around that arena and think, all right, if everyone pays 100 bucks to be here each night, on average, things rolling in dough, that's a lot of money. Every, you know, 42 times a night, and you think, they kind of owe us 54 years. And I know they're trying, but at a certain point, you gotta off the face of the franchise and redo some media stuff. People shake their heads, no, you can't get rid of Devin Booker. I get you can from the Buffalo Bills. I'm looking at Josh Allen getting out the door. There's a lot of that, you know, whenever win a championship, it's time to just stop holding on to the one guy that will be. The Steelers did it with Ben Roethlisberger way too long. Kept him three years too long. Screwed up the next five years. So anyway, I just don't understand that you have a fight in your office and then that people stop talking. Like, if Tripp didn't talk to Larry and those two work together all the time and they hadn't spoken, and could you imagine the drama that would go on in here? It already goes on. Oh, yeah, but if Tripp. I'm not talking on that Jew boy. And Larry's like, whoopity do. I won't talk to him either. And like, they don't speak. I would sit, I would go, guys, you realize how hard you're making it for everybody else with your petty baby crap? Get it together.

[Brett]

Channel three.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, channel three. Why are you here? Nobody cares. Well, I think you guys should care. Kupd. The boss and the boss are not talking. Yeah, there's, you know, there's obviously gonna be some relationships at work that aren't great. But if two people that have to talk aren't talking and the rest of the team's like, yeah, that just happened. That's garbage. I hand it to Jerry Colangelo. Your people. Brett. Back in 87 when he realized that the Suns were more of a drug running operation than they were a BAS basketball team, he said, this is bad. Everybody's gonna get shot or arrested. And he traded everybody, stepped in the door and traded everybody. You gotta go. Walter Davis. Sweet D. What a great nickname. You're gone. What? Going to Denver. Get out. Why? Because this is a drug running operation and you didn't say anything. James Edwards has got cocaine in his ass during the games, and you didn't say anything. You it. Everybody's going. You know, if I found out Brett was muling, you know, booger sugar up his ass every day, and I didn't say, I'm getting him out of here. This thing's gonna collapse the second Brett goes down and we all look stupid. If I knew about it and I look dumber. Jerry went in and did some work. We need another one. That ISHBA needs To come in and go, this isn't working. Everybody goes, he tried it, but everybody's got it anyway. Paid too much money. Sons are pissing me off. All the local sports need to get it together. The Diamondbacks are the best franchise in town.

[Brett]

Can you imagine what you, you know, you have right now with the Suns? Your Rah Rah room and the tickets, and they are in the lead.

[John Holmberg]

If they were the best team in basketball right now with all that, the experience, energy in that building, when they're just good. I mean, 20, 21, if they had the Rah Rah room, then it would have been a New Year's Eve every day.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

It's already fun, and they're just average. But you know what everybody's talking about in the Rah Rah room. Do you hear Bud Nirk aren't talking. It's like, we're the View. It's brutal. Anyway, fix that and fix it. If you. If you're. And let's make a pact between us and all the listeners. If you're in a fight with your wife or husband and you're going somewhere, just turn around and go home. Have. Have at the fight, please. You don't owe anybody anything. Even if you're hosting, it's like, oh, we invited all these people. If you're having a fight and people are coming to your house, why don't you leave? She had to go. Her mother's sick or something. I don't know. I don't care.

[Brady Bogan]

Toledo did that. That one time for New Year's Eve. He. He was like, three blocks from the house. He's like, I'm not gonna make it.

[John Holmberg]

Like, why? What's wrong? Come on. Yeah, she's a crazy bitch, and I gotta get her home. And I don't know that they came, but that was the one that left her kids with them and then started dating other people.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that was the same one?

[John Holmberg]

I think so. The one that didn't move in with him, but her kids did. Toledo, go home, and these strangers are there, and the lady's like, I got a date. That wasn't. That was a different crazy. That was a different one. I thought that was the same one.

[Dick Toledo]

That's the one that went to the van with Eric and professed her love for me on Valentine's Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my. Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

The one that left her kids is now kind of a drug addict up in Flagstaff.

[John Holmberg]

Stealing out of houses to make it full circle.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know about that, but, yeah, it's been bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I talked to our. Our buddy Kevin, and he had some new recruits from Flagstaff Police.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Dick Toledo]

Down in Queen Creek. He's like, hey, we know this guy that she's married to, and he's not a good dude.

[John Holmberg]

So you. You drive him to the Coos gal. That would be two. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

She's just not there yet.

[John Holmberg]

Felito has got two exes that went to jail.

[Brett]

She's fast tracking.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But that wasn't the same one you got in the fight with on the way to Brett's house.

[Dick Toledo]

That was on. The one on Brett's house is just a brief.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. She wasn't a long termer. Yeah. But you were gonna bring her over, and you're like, this is too nuts to bring in front of my friends.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like a mile from the house in Queen Creek.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't like we were driving a short distance.

[Dick Toledo]

It started, well, you fun. And we're on the way down there. And then she starts saying a few things, and I'm like, what'd she say? Nope.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even remember. But there was enough to turn you around. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

There were just comments where I'm like, I cannot bring these around. Co workers.

[John Holmberg]

It was like, violent stuff or. No, no.

[Dick Toledo]

Just.

[Brady Bogan]

Just lunatic stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just lunatic, crazy stuff. Now I want to invent a time machine and get in the backseat of Toledo's car on his way to Bratz, because we were all going to Queen Creek.

[Dick Toledo]

You guys were there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Had a house in Queen Creek. We're like, all right, we'll do it. This is a terrible idea. Oh, it's awful.

[Dick Toledo]

I had to drive from Los Angeles all the way down there.

[John Holmberg]

Any. No matter where you lived, it was too far to go.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You could live in Mason. Be like, Queen Creek. Jesus Christ, Brett. But we went to your New Year's thing at Queen Creek, and then Toledo called it 1140. I'm not coming. I got to get a crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

But I give him props for that.

[John Holmberg]

Me too.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, hey.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't bring her.

[Dick Toledo]

Drove another 45 minutes to my house in Maricopa.

[John Holmberg]

Were you worried about. Oh, my God. Were you worried about her saying something to us? Yes. That was embarrassing. Or 100 about you.

[Dick Toledo]

Just in general. How did you end up with this crazy broad?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so she just said goofy stuff a lot. Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

And how heated was. Or how was it quiet when you did the turnaround? That's a. We're going back. I'm calling it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

We're going to my house.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you took her own or quiet. Absolutely boned her quiet away from friends. So that was less a fight and more like I can't have her around people I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to have crazy private, one on one moments with this one. I'll sleep with you, but yuck. For my friends. They're not going to meet you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

Did we ever meet? We never met her.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Was the one in San Diego the one that moved in with you? Yep. Her kids did. Yep. She was nice.

[Dick Toledo]

She was great then.

[John Holmberg]

But now she's a drug addict.

[Dick Toledo]

I. Yeah, man.

[John Holmberg]

That was 20 years ago. And then you come home.

[Dick Toledo]

It was right before Lisa. Lisa and I've been together for 15 years.

[John Holmberg]

And so it was a little before that.

[Dick Toledo]

Sixteen years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Toledo stories are always the best. At least Brett and Tracy just got divorced. Yeah. He sends them to you. Must have a huge haul because these chicks without you just jump right into the who's cow. I think they go crazy. I will. I'm gonna say Toledo must be hung magic so much it like drives women crazy once.

[Brett]

Let's turn around.

[John Holmberg]

Turn around. I'm going to hog you. And I gotta warn you, you're never gonna get a hug like this again in your life. So when I break up with you, you're probably gonna end up in jail. I go crazy because it's happened too often to not be something.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's you.

[Dick Toledo]

I do think that one, the one I was going to Brett's house with, this had a mental break though.

[John Holmberg]

She had a mental breakdown years ago. Yeah, when she lost her kids at your house and never really. Okay, I'm getting all your stories messed up anyway. Toast is the most interesting person ever. It's too bad he can't tell the stories. Let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this to you. PD Homberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. While we're sitting here listening to all that lovely music, Frank Caliendo comes rolling in to whore himself for the big shows that are happening this weekend.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nice job, kid. You like take those off?

[Frank Caliendo]

You're looking at my glasses and I'm looking at your upper lip.

[John Holmberg]

My mustache. My.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's what that is.

[John Holmberg]

It's a child predator mustache.

[Frank Caliendo]

It is a mustache, ladies and gentlemen. I walked into the studio and. And what did I see? I saw early college days alone in my bedroom. Top 10 things that John Holmberg's mustache reminds you of. Number number 10. A baby butterfly.

[John Holmberg]

It's a mustache. It is. It counts.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

It's a mustache.

[Frank Caliendo]

A caterpillar.

[John Holmberg]

Now it's been there the whole time. I just shaved the goatee part off and left. Just wasn't that thick. It seems like it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, really? So the. So what was around it was just camouflaging slightly.

[John Holmberg]

Was mirroring. How weird. My hair on my face grows forward.

[Frank Caliendo]

Your hair on your head doesn't grow like that. Oh, your eyebrows go Einstein.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes I want them to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you have.

[John Holmberg]

I love that idea.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you have that crazy hair disease? Where have you ever heard of that?

[John Holmberg]

No. Is that a medical term? Crazy hair disease? Pretty sure.

[Frank Caliendo]

Google that format. It's gonna come up as something different. It's unmanageable hair disease. There is such a thing.

[John Holmberg]

There's some of that. I had a little of that going on. My hair was series of spins and crop circles that were kind of on top of each other. And that isn't what I had. Uncombable hair syndrome. That's not real. That's the restless leg of hair.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's real.

[John Holmberg]

No, there's product. The kids just been. No.

[Frank Caliendo]

No sample.

[Brett]

They're showing.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I know people who have it.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't. Guess who.

[Frank Caliendo]

I can't.

[John Holmberg]

They would. We would know if we saw them. You're not keeping them. I'm.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'll tell you later. But that's somebody in my interface diagram of life.

[John Holmberg]

But how do they mask it?

[Frank Caliendo]

They don't.

[John Holmberg]

They just.

[Frank Caliendo]

They're just like those things with the pen on the top of the pen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. Well, I did have a little of that.

[Brett]

Just posed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, yeah. What's this? Everybody at home google crazy hair disease now. Okay, right there. That kid. Go back. Brett. The kid in the middle there. If I.

[Brady Bogan]

There were days that could have been him.

[John Holmberg]

There were days that I had to keep it kind of from doing that. Which is just a flunk of seagulls. It was that. And I used to do that kind of stuff. The Flock of Seagulls thing. I had occasionally Logan Paul hair and Jake. Paul hair was what I was dealing with. And then a little bit crazy.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you box. You're a Paul brother.

[John Holmberg]

I am one of the Paul's. Only I didn't have any ambition or attempt to have a good body and that. No, I had very much when it. When it was there. I had Jake Paul's hair, and back then it was funny. And now it's, like, cool to have Logan or Jake Paul's hair. And their hair's horrible, like, three quarters.

[Brett]

And they're just rubbing balloons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what it looks like. This looks like static electricity hair. Albert Einstein had it.

[Frank Caliendo]

He had it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what I turned into. You have someone in your inner circle that has uncombable hair syndrome, and we can't talk about it.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, Because I know it's a younger person.

[John Holmberg]

How young? It's not. Joey.

[Frank Caliendo]

Young enough that they couldn't be around you with that mustache.

[John Holmberg]

All right, fair enough. Because that's what I feel like. I told several this is how you know you're ugly in life, is that people have no problem telling me that this mustache is a terrible decision. Last night, I was in the Rah Rah room because I like to go there, and one of the servers comes by, and she goes, this is new. And I'm like, yeah. And she goes, ugh. And I'm like, man, that's like, what if a guy did that to you? Like, wow, nice makeup on your hair. What a mess. But I told him, I'm like, I'm going through my white van phase. I'm doing a thing where I'm getting ice cream trucks all together. I'm gonna start touring neighborhoods. But everybody has. Nobody has a problem saying it's terrible.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why did you do that?

[John Holmberg]

Right. Are you trying to fix that yesterday? True.

[Frank Caliendo]

Cause you know they're just putting a band aid on another band aid, right?

[John Holmberg]

You're not getting better. Whatever you put on there, somehow you managed to make this worse.

[Dick Toledo]

Can you?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Eraser, come here.

[John Holmberg]

Trip. Yesterday goes two things. One, the mustache. Good God. Two, I got my new meta glasses. And he starts talking about something he likes, but he had to throw.

[Brett]

Oh, he came in with good news, bad news.

[John Holmberg]

Good news, bad news.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, all right, give me the bad news. We'll work up that mustache. And then. And I also got the new Ray Ban met us. I'm like, just ignore the part about the insult.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hold still for a second. I want to gauge.

[John Holmberg]

I walk down the stairs at the Suns game, and there's people that I've gotten to know through having season tickets.

[Frank Caliendo]

Devin Booker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Devin and Devin Kev. I call him Devin Kevin. And Nurkic isn't talking to me. I Don't know what's going on. But I'm walking down the stairs, they're walking up and the lady goes, lose it. Like, hi, it's nice to see you. Like, how are you? Wow.

[Frank Caliendo]

But I think that's because people know you and know you can take it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I don't care.

[Frank Caliendo]

Until you can't take it.

[John Holmberg]

Until. Until the gun goes in and goes. They'll learn the hard way. And then I'll show you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Until you. Warden from Shawshank.

[John Holmberg]

That's the warden from Shawshanket. Is a pretty good band album name. More than a band name. Yeah. So I, I grew the mustache and it's.

[Frank Caliendo]

I want to thank Toledo. Making me feel like if I got here at 6:30, that's when I would start.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We didn't know that was going. Oh yeah. Well, I didn't know you were coming until 20 minutes before you got here.

[Frank Caliendo]

Best way to do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is. It's like. Because then. Well then. Because I'm trapped.

[Frank Caliendo]

I usually check. You check with.

[John Holmberg]

You did it.

[Frank Caliendo]

I didn't this time.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't even ask.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, because I want to make sure.

[John Holmberg]

You just showed up. You asked Toledo and like he' got to say. And then he popped his head in this morning. Frank's coming in. You know that, right? And I'm like, I do now. Okay. I'm like good producing. That's the way to get the shots.

[Frank Caliendo]

It worked out. We got a couple extra stories. We got a jit. We in the off time. We watched Jerry Jones.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you introduced me that.

[Frank Caliendo]

An unbelievable acting experience.

[John Holmberg]

I, I stopped watching Landman with Billy Bob Thornton because the acting was so bad. Outside of Billy Bob Thornton, I mean it's to me, it's in the daughter. Well, Lardy is cute when you say that. That's adorable.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are we, Are we butting up against the Brady segment? No, because he just looks antsy. Like he's got to get to something gassy.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a little gas. Sorry, just burping. He'll be fine.

[Brett]

I gotta pay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. And by the way, I got this.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, sorry.

[John Holmberg]

That's the most producing that's ever been done in this room, by the way. We gotta move on. We gotta get to Brady's segment. It was antsy.

[Brett]

And I got. How we doing on commercial?

[John Holmberg]

That's Brady quote preparing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

He gets nervous. He's got to read soon. But you showed me a video of Jerry Jones on Landman doing a scene. He's going to win an Emmy Yeah, I mean, that's. He's incredible. And that makes me want to watch the show again. Until I watch. It isn't just the girls. Everybody outside of Billy Bob Thornton and John Hamm on that show are horrible actors. Like, noticeably high school bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you think they walk around going, do you think we could just play all these players? What if we just play all of them? I could put on a different. I could put on a different wig.

[John Holmberg]

I think we can do this. Yeah. I love that Jon Hammond, him are in there and they have to look at these high school actors. The dude that stays in the house with Billy Bob Thornton, horrible actor. Like, one of the worst I've ever seen. Oh, Kato Kaelin would have been a nice choice compared to. Is that who that is? I don't know who it is, but the dude can't do it. And the. The son, Billy Bob's son is a terrible. Everybody on the show can't act except those two. And then you bring Jerry Jones to the party and he blows everybody out of the water.

[Frank Caliendo]

I have been instructed to give a dissertation on how to be better at this than all of you. He was studied for years.

[John Holmberg]

Incredible. It's like giving Jerry Jones a guitar with Eric Clapton and saying, can you think? I'll give it a try. Let's fly the bumblebee. First day. It's amazing how good he was. So thank you for that. I don't know that I need to see the rest of the show, though. No, no, because.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just that I just want you to see that. I thought you'd probably talked about Jerry Jones, you know, being an impression. You do, so.

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't even know he was in it. I quit on the show. Billy Bob's the impression.

[Frank Caliendo]

But it was, like, news for a bit, so I thought you. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you're.

[Frank Caliendo]

I've been on the Internet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't. I don't. I don't dabble anymore. It's dangerous over there. I just grow the mustache and wait at bus stops.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think you. I think you're doing it right.

[John Holmberg]

It's the smart thing, spending the phrase I always say, and I did it to you. And there isn't even an end joke to it. It's like, what are you like. You laughed when you saw my. My mustache.

[Frank Caliendo]

I couldn't look at you.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, if you want to see my mustache, it'll be on display tonight at Four Peaks when we go out to deliver the Homburg bound beer to everybody.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, good.

[John Holmberg]

So 6 to 8 o'clock, I'll have it on. But people say that, and they go, what are you doing? Or you just started laughing. And I'm like, well, it is girl scout cookies season. And the second you say that, people are both, oh, he knows. And they're disturbed because it's a pedophile's mustache. Yeah, I think.

[Frank Caliendo]

I actually think pedophiles would probably run from you. I think they'd be like, he's letting.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody know he's too obvious. Put the kids down. Let's go.

[Frank Caliendo]

He's hiding in plain sight, and that's.

[John Holmberg]

Not good for us. I just want to have a blanket over my shoulder, holding a bottle, standing in a, like, looking lost anywhere, like, in a safe way. Did you lose your baby? No. What are you doing? I'm looking for one. Just bait in my hand.

[Frank Caliendo]

But you are constantly eating cookies that have been left out for you.

[John Holmberg]

Waiting for chris hansen to come around the corner. Have you seen chris hansen's new thing?

[Frank Caliendo]

Didn't trump get him on board? Yes, we're going to use the best.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to get the best guy, Chris hansen. He's going to catch bad guys, immigrants. This is the best thing I've ever seen. He goes in and goes, how you doing? Como estaustec. He walks in because they don't speak english. And the one dude just. He still gets them to. Because for a while, catch a predator, they would fool them into thinking they were talking to a teenager. And then the lawyers all got him to where they're like, well, no, they were talking to somebody of age. None of what they did was illegal, as it turns out. So they were all free to go for real. So there was no arrests. And then a couple people killed themselves. So it became this entrapment thing. They found a loophole to now try to get illegal immigrants to talk to teenagers and show up, because then they can arrest them. So it's like they show up, and one guy just takes all his clothes off. When the teenage girl leaves the kitchen and just starts sipping on a coke. And chris hansen comes around the corner and goes, buenos dias. And the guy's like, oh, this is it. And he's there to have sex with an underage kid. Yeah. What Was that for? The 50 was for sexual. Con chica quincer doesn't speak spanish.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you said you wanted a from her, and we're going to pay her $50. Are you here in this country legally? Do you have u. S. Citizenship?

[Frank Caliendo]

So illegal.

[Brett]

But you came here, Marvin.

[John Holmberg]

Or Sexo con chico quince. He says that's all of them. It's sexo conchito anos or whatever. Oh, it's so good. Takedown with Chris. Oh, that's the ice agent. So they got him now where he, he takes down illegal aliens trying to have sex with 15 year old girls. And they're. They're using the 20 year old girls to get them, but when they show up, they're really. It's just an ice stink. It's. It's my favorite thing on tv and it's hard to find because it's on something called True Blue. So you got to dig for it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Tell you what I would love to see Jerry Jones and Trapped us. I think we could take the best of what I just did on Landman and funnel it toward these illegal aliens.

[John Holmberg]

How would you do that, Jerry? How would you. How would you stop them?

[Frank Caliendo]

First of all, I would have some good cookies.

[John Holmberg]

What would your, what would your Internet name be to lure these guys in?

[Frank Caliendo]

Emmett Smith. Because he could, he could break through the line and we would see Jerry.

[John Holmberg]

On the computer going, yeah, I'm 12 and I'd love to blow you today for 50American dollars. Do you have American money or are you still spending pesos? I would love that. I think that that show would.

[Brett]

Conchito.

[John Holmberg]

There's another thing that I haven't gotten to. I didn't know you're coming, but I want to talk about the. Go ahead, Jerry.

[Frank Caliendo]

How about them cowboys?

[John Holmberg]

He has to throw that in there. And before.

[Frank Caliendo]

Before you go to jail. Yeah, just that one last thing.

[John Holmberg]

See? See? How about them?

[Brett]

It's going to be an honor for them.

[John Holmberg]

Am I off the hook, Mr. Jones? Oh, hell no. Say it again. How about them Caballeros? See, See? A sexo a quanto inos.

[Frank Caliendo]

See, I just said things with three of eagles. My little boy, my little buttercup.

[John Holmberg]

He makes El Wapo sing. You said you were El WaPo.

[Frank Caliendo]

69.

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing George Bush. I don't know. There's a SpongeBob episode that was banned. Do you know about it?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes, I was in it.

[John Holmberg]

Were you? You were. That was your episode. I didn't know this, but it's. They're talking about. Rele it. It was banned because of content was too racy. And Spongebob's very funny, but Mr. Krabs had a midlife crisis.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is real.

[John Holmberg]

This is a real episode and they're. They're going to release it. Trust you, mustache. Well, I'm talking about kids Cartoons right now. Yeah, I know this mustache. Oh, no.

[Frank Caliendo]

Very natural for you.

[John Holmberg]

It was 2003. Mr. Krabs has a midlife crisis, and SpongeBob and Patrick try to, like, cheer him up and stuff.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, thing about. Thing about Mr. Krabs, he just wanted to work with his kids.

[John Holmberg]

The little crab kids. Yeah, the crab kids. And they couldn't air it because part of a way to make Mr. Krabs feel good again and young again is to do a panty raid. And so Mr. Krabs busts into a house to do a panty raid. And he's holding them up, and he's like, panty raid. Do the thing. It's his mother's house. It's Mrs. Krabs. It's his mom's panties.

[Frank Caliendo]

Which panties? Crabs.

[John Holmberg]

All terrible. All bad to put together. And they were gonna air it, and they're like, this is just brilliant. And now, 22 years later, they're like, we should show this to people. It's really good. And so there's a debate on whether or not people can take it. Mr. Krabs raiding his mother's underpants drawer, which I think has to happen today. So I've been trying to find it. You can watch. It's called Midlife Crust, and it's like a very special spongebob. But spongebob and Patrick, helping him out, come up with Panty Raid. And I thought when I read that, oh, that's about, you know, you can't do that to girls. And it's, you know, sexualizing and degrading. Nope. It's because it gets incestuous at the end. And he steals his own mother's underwear, which I would like to watch with my mustache on. Isn't that crazy, though? In 2003, they had that. So they just reran something else and said. And they were talking about getting rid of the whole show. Like, they're like this kid. I don't know what you.

[Frank Caliendo]

For an unaired episode, we have to get rid of this.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they were talking about, like it was punishment worthy, like people were gonna lose their jobs.

[Frank Caliendo]

Listen, we're going to bring back the special episode of spongebob the best. The one where he gets in the.

[John Holmberg]

Panty raid and it's his mom's house. You can fix that.

[Frank Caliendo]

We can fix everything.

[John Holmberg]

We can just. We can turn it like a switch.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like turning on the water in California.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And evidently, there's a line where he goes, we should have told him, Patrick. And he's in his mom's House. So he's just. He's on a random page. So he's like a rapist. He can't control himself. I've got to see this episode of television. It would be like, you know, Fred got drunk and. And banged, you know, Betty.

[Frank Caliendo]

Betty.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he had to explain it to Barney. Hey, what's up, Freddy? Oh, bond. Bye. Rough night? I got a little bad news for you. You think you tell him. Yeah, but Dabba do. Yeah, but Dabba don't. We gotta make a list.

[Frank Caliendo]

Barney, those are my Fruity Pebbles.

[John Holmberg]

Are you afraid? Yeah. Cartoons, doing adult stuff. The laugh going into tears. And then he walks back into the house and just like. How could you start smacking Betty around? Because he's a caveman. That's what he would do. He would abuse his wife. At that point. She had no rights. Those ladies were too loud for my taste. Anyway. Frank Caliento's here to talk about whatever it is you want to talk about. You want to come to the thing tonight, Frank? The beer release. You should come with.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I might have a dinner I'm planning. No, I might go. I might come. You're not now I might because of that. And you're.

[John Holmberg]

You're. You.

[Frank Caliendo]

You trap me, Chris Hansen.

[Brett]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

Buenos dias. Six seniors. What is the. How do you say, 15?

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Quinceano. And he's talking into his phone the whole show because he's translating. But they never show the phone. Read it to the guy. You were gonna have sex for $50 with a 15 year old. And then they. And then the guy just goes. You say you're sorry, like they're having the conversation. But neither of them are speaking the same language, so they cut out all the phone translation. It's. It's the best show going that needs to be on a big network because True Blue doesn't show it right tonight. We'll do some of that ourselves. If you'd like to come down and find a child predator, see if you can spot him when you walk in.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think it's pretty simple.

[John Holmberg]

The guy with a mustache. Homeburg Bound beer is available tonight. And I think you can still order six packs. I think the. The commemorative glasses are all gone. 98kupd.com we'll be there from 6 to 8 tonight over at Four Peaks in Tempe. It works out that easily. And all the proceeds go to help the Arizona Humane Society, which is never a bad thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I might go.

[John Holmberg]

You're not going.

[Frank Caliendo]

On my way to my sound check. At the Desert Ridge Improv for this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're doing that tonight? Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's not a gratuitous plug or anything? No, I'm at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

I plugged my thing and you stole it and made it about you and that I like.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, it's.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's pretty good. Okay, I'm in on that. So you got the sound check after Frank Kelly and may or may not.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm just. I might come down to your thing. I'm thinking about it.

[John Holmberg]

You can think about it all day.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's why I phrased it that way.

[John Holmberg]

And you can one hand to think about it all day and which one's going to fill up first? I don't know if that's a sentence. It's not a thing. It's Billy Bob just telling you to take crap in your hand. But yeah. So tonight, Frank Caliendo joins us at Four Peaks guaranteed. Six to 8:00.

[Frank Caliendo]

You can't see me, I'm in the mustache.

[John Holmberg]

It's a guaranteed. I caught it while you thinking about it and I thought, you know, what's. What's stopping you. Might as well close that door as well. Yeah, might as well. If I can get. Where is it?

[Frank Caliendo]

This is becoming a better Four Peaks.

[John Holmberg]

On Tempe or in Tempe?

[Frank Caliendo]

It's even closer to my house.

[Brady Bogan]

University of McClintock.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's a little further.

[John Holmberg]

You can put it in GPS. They've got ways to find it out.

[Brett]

Of this driving zone.

[John Holmberg]

You'll get there. You could Waymo. Have you Waymoed yet?

[Frank Caliendo]

Get a hammer. No, you got a Waymo.

[John Holmberg]

But it's a game changing machine.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, Everybody says it's great.

[John Holmberg]

So great. No people. You don't. You especially. You especially.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, Jerry, have you Waymoed? I Waymoed.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to.

[Frank Caliendo]

I still like Waymo better than you.

[John Holmberg]

Thought it was gonna be Jerry Jones. Instead it's just Jones and not Seinfeld. And it's the same cast of characters. Except Seinfeld's not in it. I'm the master of my domain.

[Frank Caliendo]

Have you ever. You ever walk? Walking a dog? Walking a dog and the dog takes a dump. If aliens came down and they see you picking that up, who's walking who?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who's in charge of what? We'll be right back with more Jerry Jones. I would watch a Jerry Jones show instead of Jenny Jones. So many things from the 90s he could have taken over. Would have been so much better. We could just do parodies of Jerry all day charities, we'd call them and we would do it all day long. It's too good. And tonight we might do some Live at Four Peaks when Frank shows up at about 5:30, he's going to be early sign an autograph and balloons for the kids. So that's how it works.

[Frank Caliendo]

Everything's coming back.

[John Holmberg]

Telling you the mustache changes things. It's all you think about is people's children. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brady Bogan]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And the news shop is getting closer and closer. I believe February 8th is when they're gonna be open over there on Power and McDowell right by the Hawes Trailhead. But in the meantime, head on over to the hq, the main store over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. Get all the stuff to get up north. Going snowboarding, skiing.

[John Holmberg]

There's snow now, Brad. I know. I actually have real snow up there. You can use the Action Ride Shop stuff. For real.

[Frank Caliendo]

I made that happen. I brought the snow.

[John Holmberg]

I brought the snow. Made winter great again. Winto great. That's what I call that flavor.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's very good and it lasts. It's not like fruit striped scum.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't just go away.

[Frank Caliendo]

It lasts a long, long time.

[John Holmberg]

Frank keeps sending me this progressive video of Melania and Donald walking into the house of the White House. And behind them is Barron. And it's the real video. Then the next one, Baron, has been enlarged and then the last one was just his legs coming through. Humongous. And it's the funniest thing I've seen on the Internet in forever. I don't know why it gets me every time you send it. I'm like, you already sent this. And Baron's a little bigger.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's like Ant man in his giant form.

[John Holmberg]

Right. He's just.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you just see the legs.

[John Holmberg]

And Melania and Donald are like. It's because it's them in the regular one. But when he's walking behind him, there's no reaction. They're just not surprised at his gigantism. Oh, it's the funniest thing the Internet has right now. That's why I turned the Internet off. And plus he's a good kid. Is he? How old is he Young, right?

[Frank Caliendo]

He's like 16 to 18 somewhere in there. But he looks like a hitman. He is like Slender man as a hitman.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I think he's in college because he got.

[John Holmberg]

Never mind. No longer the Mustache and I don't care anymore.

[Brett]

Business school.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's enough. All right. What do you got, Brett?

[Brady Bogan]

All right. On the list. Megadeth, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Offspring, Dio, stp, Faith no More, ac, dc, Anthrax, Soil, Fear Factory, Stained, and a new one from Scott's Depp.

[John Holmberg]

That's my thing. Because I brought up Cracker man yesterday. We're gonna play Cracker Man. I can't not hear that song. So we'll do Cracker Man. It's the wake up song. Other than all the stuff we' chatted about. Frank, how are you? Great. Everything's good? Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Everything's fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

Selling out up there at the Mark.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wahlberg all of a sudden.

[John Holmberg]

I don't believe that. It's that good.

[Frank Caliendo]

25 cents. No, it's not. It's horrific. Life is awful.

[John Holmberg]

That's why I'm here.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, why would I.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you.

[Brett]

Pick me up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Are you impressed with the human experience at all?

[Frank Caliendo]

Haven't. I haven't really been paying attention.

[John Holmberg]

No, not like as humanity. I'm saying. It's just in general. When people say how beautiful this all is now. It's garbage. I think so too. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

A bunch of huge. It's just mistake after mistake after mistake.

[John Holmberg]

It's another kick to the nuts every single day. You gotta overcome.

[Frank Caliendo]

Unbelievable. And I'm doing well?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

In it.

[John Holmberg]

How would it be?

[Frank Caliendo]

I can't stand it. You wanna join my club?

[John Holmberg]

I am in this club. You are? Yeah, that's right. Life, people.

[Frank Caliendo]

I turn into Bill Barr.

[John Holmberg]

What are we doing here? Stop. What's this? Billy Cork is not my brother. Shut up.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's fake, right?

[John Holmberg]

That's fake.

[Frank Caliendo]

And now that I look at you, you could be the.

[John Holmberg]

Another Corgan verse. Yeah, they. It isn't fake. It's been. But they don't like talking about it and they got mad at each other. And Howie's thing. Well, Bill Burgess, like, that's because Howie we want to talk about.

[Brett]

That's how he brings it up.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how that happens. Like, Howie Mandel gets that.

[Frank Caliendo]

What's this guy doing here?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what's this guy? Oh, and he's just. He's sitting on his back.

[Frank Caliendo]

I had dinner with Billy Corrigan one time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it was in Vegas at Cafe Moderno.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

In the Rio. And he's. I think he's allergic to cheese. And Moderno's. Doesn't really change anything.

[John Holmberg]

Dairy or.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it's all dairy.

[John Holmberg]

He's Lactose intolerant.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. I think that's what it kind of is. And they don't change anything in the menu. He's like, but I have. I get sick. I think. I can't. All right. Then they change.

[John Holmberg]

They did give him cheeseless stuff. He's a rat in a cage with nothing to eat because that's all they do is eat cheese. That's interesting. Now it's lyrics. Knowing that he's allergic to cheese and dairy.

[Frank Caliendo]

Or he made it up. Like, maybe he's just a. Maybe. Wait a second. I'm sorry. It was lunch with Jon Lovitz, and he was just lying the whole time. I'm Billy Corgan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that might be it. That's more reasonable.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When people say life is short, I'm like, no, it's not. This is a lagging on long time.

[Frank Caliendo]

And when you have kids, it gets longer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's nothing about every day is a gift. I'm like, what are you talking.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's like my kids, who are good kids.

[John Holmberg]

I like it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Kids are good kids.

[John Holmberg]

But Joey's fun to hang out with.

[Frank Caliendo]

He is almost too fun. Yeah, he's almost too like. He makes me feel like I didn't do everything I could have in life.

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah. He's ambitious and he's social. And you're the opposite.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. And Uncle Chris is taking him to Vegas for 21st birthday.

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna go?

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't think I.

[Brett]

No, it's a father son.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, you with that mustache I think would be perfect for it.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, you're not going to Vegas for your son's 21st birthday? His uncle's taking him.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I don't. I don't.

[John Holmberg]

And you don't want to tag along?

[Frank Caliendo]

He wants me to. Not Joey. No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Chris does. Joey doesn't want you there. Yeah, no, Joey would want me there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Joey would want you there. Joey would want you there.

[John Holmberg]

We hang out, we have fun. Joey, Uncle Chris.

[Frank Caliendo]

For people to know is that if you took the Sopranos and multiplied it by a thousand, that's like. You can tell how Italian he is by the lack of neck. The. The more Italian you get, the higher the shoulders get.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's starting to see that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. When the. When the shoulders can actually touch the ears, it's over.

[John Holmberg]

You're officially. You're Italian.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're in. Ah, it's a meme. Mario.

[John Holmberg]

So he's taking the boy up to Vegas and you're just like, ah, yeah, Mike.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know. I just Feel like you and him.

[John Holmberg]

Go up to Vegas every once.

[Frank Caliendo]

I was with you guys for the summer league. All kinds of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but he. You don't want to go there.

[Brett]

You'll do the Chuck E. Cheese thing with them the night before.

[Frank Caliendo]

Showbiz.

[John Holmberg]

Showbiz. Pizza. Yeah, that's a good idea. On. On the 25th of July. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

26Th.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm the 26th. I thought he was.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's the same day. It was birthday. Twins.

[John Holmberg]

I know. We were twins.

[Frank Caliendo]

He's got. He shaved his goatee. Only has a creepy mustache.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true? No.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank God.

[John Holmberg]

I'll talk to him. I'll text him and say, you know.

[Frank Caliendo]

He'S too old for you.

[John Holmberg]

Mustache. I know he's way too old, but. But he's not too old.

[Frank Caliendo]

Relax. Leonardo DiCreprio.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a line from Mean Girls or something?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I just made it up. It was freaking brilliant.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was pretty good. Anyway, so.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I didn't have it until it was coming out of my mouth. And that's something you've said.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't have that until it came from my mouth.

[Frank Caliendo]

So why am I here? Because I'm at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna get to that.

[Frank Caliendo]

I know, but I wanna Brady's birthday.

[John Holmberg]

Weekend and you get to. I forgot. Mention Brady's birthday and Frank gives you a free joke.

[Frank Caliendo]

I just imagined Brady without the goatee.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's good stuff there. It's just Andy Reid. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it is, kind of.

[Brett]

You've seen me that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, yeah, twice.

[John Holmberg]

You've dressed him up as Andy Reid before.

[Frank Caliendo]

You look different all of a sudden.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Brady smiles when people tell him he looks like Andy Reid. And I don't think anybody should smile when they say, hey, you look like Andy Reid. I know, but isn't that sad?

[Brett]

Don't care.

[John Holmberg]

You do a little. Everyone does a little.

[Frank Caliendo]

There should be a website that's people that look like Brady Bogan. That's people that look like Kenny Rogers. And that would get.

[John Holmberg]

We had a Brady contest and just a load of. Because I think it's the most unbelievably similar body shape there is on the planet. There's hundreds. I see 10 or 12 Brady's a day. And people send emails.

[Frank Caliendo]

Left probably 10 because they're bowling pins.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, one falls though you get a.

[Brett]

Set of how we travel.

[John Holmberg]

But it's really odd because they're everywhere. So we had a Brady contest, like a MILF contest. And a bunch of dudes in here and There was a guy that won.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wait, you did this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Dan Bungarts won it. And I swear to God, you wouldn't know them. They stood in the hallway together and we all just were. Our jaws were dropped like. Like, if there's a God, that's the laziest he's ever been. He's just like, ah, use the same one as the last guy. Make another one of them. He made thousands of Brady's.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is like central casting. When you show up, you know, for an audition and you see how the world sees you, and there's seven other.

[John Holmberg]

Fat guys that look sort of like.

[Frank Caliendo]

You look like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like you're all the same person. Just slightly different stage of life.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you're looking at each person going, this is what people see when they see me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's a real eye opener.

[Frank Caliendo]

I've got to change.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I got to do something about this.

[Frank Caliendo]

I remember there was like. And not in one that I went to, but there was Dane Cook, Harlan Williams, who's the guy from Maine. That sounds like Cliff. Bob Marley.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Bob Marley.

[Frank Caliendo]

All those like, they were. They were always all at the same audition.

[John Holmberg]

Same lanky long guy.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's how people are. Like catering. Yeah. There's Brady at the airport. What is going on? But you wouldn't know if I sent that to you and said, look, I found Brady at the airport.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wait, I thought that was actually Brady.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, they're everywhere. It's not Brady. Nope. It's a guy in an Ohio State shirt sleeping on his floor.

[Frank Caliendo]

I have sent you a couple fake.

[Brett]

That guy's six.

[Brady Bogan]

Three.

[John Holmberg]

There are. And ye. That's the one thing. His legs are like super human.

[Frank Caliendo]

So he's rusty. Nesting doll Brady pop off.

[John Holmberg]

The third one is Brady, but you can just break them open. There's Brady's inside them like Cadbury Brady's.

[Frank Caliendo]

And they stop motion, move around like back in Sesame Street.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But that's the most common body.

[Frank Caliendo]

The suitcases was once filled with food.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just knocked it over.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hand in his pants.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't it be?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, you're right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

If you're thinking about yourself, he's.

[John Holmberg]

He's pretty much in his. Yeah. Ohio State won the national championship.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's why I thought. That's why I thought Brady too, is the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The Ohio State thing. Yeah, no, that's there. He's everywhere. So we've had contests sent me. Yeah. The big Brady off and a guy named Dan Bungarts1. And he won like a Like a game room or something. I don't know. But we gave him all sorts of stuff for just looking with Ronnie. Yeah. And Ronnie didn't notice other than it was pleasurable. Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why is it so good?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why is this, man?

[Frank Caliendo]

Why is this like a man?

[John Holmberg]

There's no crying. This is amazing. From Brady. All right, let's do some Cracker man here at Stone Temple Pilots. Frank Caleando is going to be here all day, I guess. And then tonight at Four Peaks and then this weekend at Desert Ridge. You're everywhere around.

[Frank Caliendo]

You even know how to. I don't even know how to get to Desert Rizza. Desertridgeimprov.com. i still go to CB.live.com. no.

[John Holmberg]

Dead and gone. No.

[Frank Caliendo]

You can go to Desert Ridge. Improv through that.

[John Holmberg]

Stop telling the reason.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm telling you that. Yeah. They probably don't want you to know that because they'll get rid of it eventually. But me, for me, it extends the plug.

[John Holmberg]

Like the topic. Talk about it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Joe Biden.

[John Holmberg]

Smart. It's Cracker man, everybody. It's your wake up song. It's 98 Cracker Man.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Frank Caliendo joins us this morning, hanging out because he is promoting hardcore. Oh, yeah. Hardcore. Frank. Desert Ridge Improv. This Friday and Saturday we there. I'm going Desert Richmond Improv.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're thinking about going?

[John Holmberg]

Not to your show?

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just gonna hang around this mall. Walk around. Hey, kids, there's a comedian here tonight. If you want to go to the show. Let me walk you around inside. I'll show you the green room. It's way in the back.

[Frank Caliendo]

How come you ordered some cookies? No, no, no reason to.

[John Holmberg]

A Paradise cookie around. Who wants a cookie? I do. I'll split it with you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Somehow I remember I don't know where it was, but I was on the radio somewhere. Not as good as this, and it was To Catch a Predator, but with Jim Rome.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Frank Caliendo]

And it just turned into that. Enjoying those cookies. How great is that? Why are you not wearing any clothes? Buenos dias, senor.

[John Holmberg]

That I would watch for months.

[Frank Caliendo]

How great is this?

[John Holmberg]

When in Rome. Great. Buenos dias, amigo. And Bebo cookies. Bueno. See, You've sex with a 15 year old. You said so.

[Frank Caliendo]

Como se dice?

[John Holmberg]

Cookies.

[Brett]

En fuego and fuego.

[John Holmberg]

See? Great. Let me hit the Translate. You were going to bone a teen. Comprehende?

[Frank Caliendo]

Grab the fish wrap, because this dude is going to the slammer. From being a slammer to going to the slammer. Ouch.

[John Holmberg]

You were going to grab an underage vine and. Hang on. I would watch when in Rome for months. Like it could be its own channel. Just on a loop. Like the chive. Got another one. Great work. You see that? You'd be so surprised. You'd actually be nude waiting to have sex with a teen. And Rome. You'd be excited for half a second. Jim Rome. Is that your daughter or something?

[Frank Caliendo]

I can tell how excited you are by the giant boner.

[John Holmberg]

Ibas al goper a una adolescente. That means you were gonna bang a teen.

[Frank Caliendo]

How great? By the way, how great is the Spanish language? You can say something that not everybody understands in the us. Great job.

[John Holmberg]

Great work.

[Frank Caliendo]

Traba hondo excellente.

[John Holmberg]

Good work. Close enough.

[Frank Caliendo]

Trabahar mucho.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that I would. That's too good not to watch. We gotta get him doing more stuff anyway. Rome's not done. Pull up.

[Frank Caliendo]

Great take.

[John Holmberg]

Great take.

[Frank Caliendo]

In Spanish.

[John Holmberg]

It can't be bueno taco. Damn it. Maybe taco. Bueno, taco, Bueno. Santiago buena. Great take. See, you have no boundaries. You brought burrito. What is it?

[Frank Caliendo]

Grand toma.

[John Holmberg]

It's even. That's better than great take.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's grand thoma.

[John Holmberg]

Grand thoma is the great take of grand thoma. See? Great take. Great take.

[Frank Caliendo]

He's like, great take.

[John Holmberg]

Great.

[Frank Caliendo]

It'll be. It would be explained. It wouldn't be thoma granite.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Frank Caliendo]

Because isn't the adjective after right?

[John Holmberg]

According to the interwebs. Screw on. Toma doma grand. Don't question the goose. Don't question the googs. Googs knows all. It knows when you question him. It knows when you are sleeping. It knows when you are awake.

[Frank Caliendo]

Google is the clause. It is Saint Nick is Google. He sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake. Dude is omniscient.

[John Holmberg]

He knows when you are awake. He knows when you have a great take. Courantoma secretoma breaks right though.

[Dick Toledo]

That is a double verb. I believe in in Spanish.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know Gran opinion. Don't you question the googs. It's a thing I would like.

[Frank Caliendo]

Tell you what, man. I went to Grant home one time, man had a great time.

[John Holmberg]

You were in Grande.

[Frank Caliendo]

Grande.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't it a race? You went to a. Like a. There was an F1 in grandma.

[Frank Caliendo]

I do it right there, man.

[John Holmberg]

Grand Toma five. That was Fun. I remember watching that on tv. I'm like, maybe I'm into this sport. We gotta get him back too. He's another one. He's doing stuff now everywhere. But it's like. It's like. Yeah, but the thing about Gruden right now that's bugging me is that he just shows up to things.

[Frank Caliendo]

You seen with the snake yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Like, that's what I'm talking about. It's like he's just there. Like, why is this happening? And why is Gruden part of it? When I met him with you, he had a semblance of, I don't know, boundaries or borders. And now it feels like he'll dress as a clown if you want him to. And he would.

[Frank Caliendo]

So you want me enjoying those cookies?

[John Holmberg]

What's that thing he says when he's the big.

[Frank Caliendo]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Anyway. Stop it, Frank. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. Brought to you by Desert Ridge Improv. Frank Caliendo. Friday and Saturday night, desertridgeimprov.com plenty of tickets still available.

[Frank Caliendo]

I tell you what, man.

[John Holmberg]

There's a few. Are there? Not many usually, at this point.

[Frank Caliendo]

Friday's almost. Friday's on the verge of being sold out on early Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, you're good. It'll be done. You're done after two. But it is, Brian, if you want to grab those tickets, it's. It's up there at Desert Ridge.

[Frank Caliendo]

You ever held a python, man?

[John Holmberg]

I have, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

I thought you had, man. You knocked that one out of the park. I set that up. I thought. Am I gonna have to do the punchline? No.

[John Holmberg]

Homeberg, Mustache, nose.

[Frank Caliendo]

The Stash knew, man.

[John Holmberg]

If it's double entendre, the stash picks it up like it's a. Like a web of gravity.

[Frank Caliendo]

You think he did that joke in her? Oh, yeah, man.

[John Holmberg]

I'm holding this python.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's not the first time I build one of these pythons, let me tell you. Why does it seem so small? I thought they said a big python, man. How long and white this thing is.

[John Holmberg]

How you doing? Python is 12. I didn't know, man. I didn't know, man. Grant Oma. He was gonna bang that python. We all know it was gonna happen. How many times does, like, snakes talk to each other? Go. I get fake jerked off by one more hippie. It's not funny. They still think it's funny. Me too. And we're all named Monty. We're over that as well. Stop naming us Monty.

[Frank Caliendo]

You ever Been to India and stuffed in a basket. You ever had that happen?

[John Holmberg]

Every time I hear a flute, man, my stuff starts floating in the air.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, that's two double entendres there. The flute and the snake, man.

[John Holmberg]

When somebody blows a horn, I get a little bit pepped up, come out of the basket. Anyway, it's time now for Brady to give you the news. Brady, Ricky Tikki Tavi, man, Report it.

[Brett]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world.

[Brett]

Happy National Kazoo Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Don't take.

[Frank Caliendo]

Greetings, dumb dumbs. Oh, gazoo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, different day.

[Frank Caliendo]

Brody, why'd you do that to my wife?

[John Holmberg]

What was yesterday, Brady? You said something and it was ridiculous. And then people were like, is Brady gonna mention that it's also International Holocaust Remembrance Day? He's like, no, it's peanut butter jelly time. We're not talking about that.

[Frank Caliendo]

I like that. You could have ended the sentences. Remember yesterday when you said something ridiculous?

[John Holmberg]

Show's over. Credits. Go ahead.

[Brett]

A couple of basis fun facts. Miami International Airport is the port of entry for about 90% of the nation's imported cut flowers.

[John Holmberg]

We imp.

[Frank Caliendo]

I thought you were gonna. I thought you were gonna jump on port of entry.

[John Holmberg]

No, just the mustache makes you think the port of. Hey. Oh, Miami Port of entry. That sounds nice. Underage. They have a section for just the little kids coming into the country. Why do we import flowers? Don't.

[Frank Caliendo]

You can't grow them here.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't you know that?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I can't grow them here anymore because they're diverting the water into the ocean and you can't.

[John Holmberg]

You can't do it.

[Brett]

You can't do it.

[Frank Caliendo]

We can't grow flowers.

[John Holmberg]

The environmentalists have taken. So we have to import flowers. Well, that's got to change. Put a tariff on those flowers.

[Frank Caliendo]

We're going to put it immediately. I'm putting a tariff on dirt.

[Dick Toledo]

Yesterday was National Chocolate Cake Day.

[John Holmberg]

That was it. Chocolate Cake Day. And people like. It's also International Holocaust Remembrance Day. Not to me. It's not Chocolate Cake Day. Why can't it be both? And then our special guest always comes down at those moments from heaven. Hey, Frank, how you doing? It's good to be here. National Chocolate Cake Day. Yesterday I had myself a chocolate cake in honor of the Jews. So I worked them both in, Frankie. That's how I got that. What are you looking at my mustache?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, it's. That's just a really good.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is. Frank. Tell a Brady Happy chocolate cake Jew Day.

[Brett]

You too, Ralphie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I said, all right. I gotta go. Good. See you, Frank.

[Frank Caliendo]

In a minute, Ralphie. The mayor of heaven.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Keep working on that. We'll put a hard hat on, build a better joke. Okay, I gotta go. All right. See you later.

[Brett]

The first Got Milk ad was directed by Michael Bay. Well, it's a history expert has to answer. Who shot Alexander Hamilton with all the.

[John Holmberg]

Food in his mouth?

[Brett]

Yeah, I know, right?

[John Holmberg]

Raymond Burr. I said Raymond Burr. Disney. True.

[Brett]

Couldn't pronounce. He had peanut butter in his mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Perry Mason.

[Brett]

He needed milk.

[John Holmberg]

That was a Michael Bay joint.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Who knew? Interesting.

[Dick Toledo]

Scaled down, I would imagine, from what his original idea was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Three hours and then a love story that doesn't add up. And he wanted an infomercial. 30 minutes and then for no reason at all. Pearl harbor is the least important part of Pearl harbor.

[Brett]

Someone pulled 2,000 single people to find the sexiest jobs in 2025.

[Frank Caliendo]

Disc jockey.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Just take myself off the list.

[Brett]

Wasn't on the list.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it would have killed the entire study.

[Brett]

Number one was health care.

[John Holmberg]

That's sexy.

[Brett]

Doctor was voted the sexiest job overall.

[John Holmberg]

Nurse sector women. Yeah, I was going to say there's a money thing.

[Brett]

It's 2,000 single people. So it was a mix. Professional athlete education was number two.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody wants to marry teachers and professors. Not sexy. Sexy. Usually you're a little overweight and your hair is short and bad.

[Brett]

First responders were number three.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yes. Firefighters and cops and paramedics. Very sexy.

[Brett]

Law was next.

[John Holmberg]

You have a.

[Brett]

You have lawyers.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo's lady friend is a very beautiful woman who teaches. She's the one. You've seen her friends at work? Yeah, she's at school. Right. You looked at your watch? Yeah. You've seen her.

[Dick Toledo]

There's probably three in the entire school.

[John Holmberg]

That's a pretty good number. Yeah, because most of the time teachers are like. Think back at your high school. There was maybe one. Maybe one.

[Frank Caliendo]

Mrs. Whalen.

[John Holmberg]

You remember who it is?

[Dick Toledo]

I also have a theory. So in her end of Mesa, a lot of the schools have a lot of Mormon teachers because the ladies are. Where they get their. Their teachers from. Is from byu, Idaho.

[John Holmberg]

Ah.

[Dick Toledo]

And so young.

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Dick Toledo]

The teachers are, what you're saying, attractive. You give them a few years to get into that. Mormon religion.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

From byu, Idaho.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

I just performed recently.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Crushing it. How the did that go? They love your stuff.

[Frank Caliendo]

I used to. I got years and years ago when they. People ask me if I was clean, I'm like, I Got a standing ovation @ BYU.

[John Holmberg]

@.

[Frank Caliendo]

@ Brigham Young.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't be able.

[Frank Caliendo]

And then I would say even Cosby didn't get that.

[John Holmberg]

And now they couldn't stand up. Yeah. He'd been with him the night before. And I don't even have the mustache.

[Frank Caliendo]

Could you imagine with the mustache? With the sand?

[John Holmberg]

Take a drink. So you got a standing ovation at Brigham Young. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty.

[Frank Caliendo]

From the whole Young fit. Steve Young.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Frank Caliendo]

Ran around a little bit and then misunderstood.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it was a crowd. It was actually Brigham.

[Frank Caliendo]

He's related to Brigham.

[John Holmberg]

I know. He's like fourth down, right?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Fourth down.

[John Holmberg]

Nice punting.

[Frank Caliendo]

Is that on purpose?

[John Holmberg]

I know it. Accidentally. Accidentally. Genius. It happens.

[Brett]

PETA makes it very clear they're not a fan of the actual groundhog amongst Honey. Phil. They don't want him to use the real animal. So they've come up with a solution.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just use. You just.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. Just hold Brady in there. Just six or seven people to hoist Brady up. Winter. And then he just goes back in the hall. Spring.

[Dick Toledo]

Baron Trump could do it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Some of you know I have a giant son. A giant son who lifts groundhogs out of their shadows. Baron.

[Brett]

Their idea this year is to retire Punks. Tawny. Phil.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Find a little sanctuary for him to live. And they'll provide a giant vegan weather reveal cake every year.

[Frank Caliendo]

What a great idea. Wait.

[Brett]

Inside the cake. What if it looks blue?

[Frank Caliendo]

Hold on. What if it looks like Punxsuttoni?

[John Holmberg]

Phil.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you think it's Punk's body.

[John Holmberg]

Phil.

[Frank Caliendo]

And then you take a knife to.

[John Holmberg]

It like this to see if it's gonna be winter yet.

[Brett]

They said if it's blue that'll get.

[John Holmberg]

The message they want. You'd kill it if it screams it's winter.

[Brett]

Six more weeks of winter if it's blue. And then if it's pink.

[John Holmberg]

This is a dumb idea that PETA can stuff up their ass.

[Brett]

0 chance of happening.

[John Holmberg]

Society said the groundhog is not being abused. It's having the greatest life of a groundhog ever.

[Frank Caliendo]

And Brian Doyle Murray's there.

[John Holmberg]

Would be cake.

[Brett]

According to a report out of the uk A mix up involving British nuclear subs almost kicked off an international incident with Russia. The UK Navy was scanning for sounds of enemy activity underwater. Thought they heard a Russian drone sub.

[John Holmberg]

Cool.

[Brett]

The same sound was heard at least twice. So they started freaking out. The they thought Russia was dropping listening devices on the ocean floor to track Britain's nuclear subs. But after analyzing the sounds they now think it might have been something else. They said it might have been a whale fart.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right. Okay. I thought he was just gonna leave us there. Experts thought it was something else. We'll be right back. Ellipsis news.

[Brett]

They've been mistaken for subs before it. The whale farts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, all right. Whale farts. You were dying to get to that story.

[Frank Caliendo]

Can you leave us hanging with just.

[John Holmberg]

Cliffhangers does it all.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, yeah, but on purpose.

[John Holmberg]

No, not on purpose. It wouldn't work.

[Dick Toledo]

We called him. What was it last week? The dangling modifier.

[John Holmberg]

The dangling modifier.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know it's a good morning when you have tears in your eyes like Jerry Jones.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, goodness. Constantly oversaturated eyes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thanks for this because I was on the verge.

[John Holmberg]

Grandma. Grandma. See, Grandoma, you just threw at me. My mother had a grand toma. She's in the hospital for four months. Grand mala.

[Brett]

Someone put together a list of the favorite super bowl foods for every state. Come on down, Ralphie.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. I'm back from fat guy news. Like that Frank. You lost all that weight. You were no longer in the club. Hot garbage. Being all skinny, but your head stayed the same. Lollipop, lollipop. You look like a giant lollipop. Lollipop, lollipop. An unlickable, weird flesh lollipop.

[Brett]

Pez dispenser. 18 for 18 states. Buffalo chicken dip was number one. Arizona, it's Glizzy's hot Dogs.

[John Holmberg]

That's our best hot dog food.

[Frank Caliendo]

I just got hot dog, though.

[John Holmberg]

Who's busting hot dogs out for Super Bowl?

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm not, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

I've never done anybody's house and seen a mountain of hot dogs like, you guys. Go help yourself. Nobody ever prepares loads of hot dogs for guests. Like stores do.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know, like, maybe it's people visiting gas stations.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

On their way.

[John Holmberg]

We gotta get something. You can't. Can't come. Empty hands. Bring me 25 hot dogs. I've never seen that.

[Brett]

There's three states that they call them funeral potatoes or cheesy potatoes.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Wyoming, Idaho.

[Dick Toledo]

But they're good.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, they are.

[Brett]

Yeah. The only other one that is weird is the nofala. It's a soup. It's like a German soup. Potato and cream.

[John Holmberg]

And that's how sassy you had me a cream Freddie. I'll eat that all day.

[Frank Caliendo]

Isn't. Aren't avocados one of the most consumed things? Super Bowl Sunday for dips.

[John Holmberg]

I'll eat it.

[Dick Toledo]

That's why they always have a Super bowl ad. Right. Avocados Mexico.

[John Holmberg]

I dip my avocados in dip. That makes it even better. It's like a dip in a dip. Yeah, Avocados and ranch. And then just throw the avocado away.

[Brett]

And Wendy's lick. It is turning out Thin mint Frosty on February 21st.

[John Holmberg]

They did that last year. Yep. I thought I was in heaven already, but Brady just put me back. I gotta go. See you guys. Takes a lot to get him up there. There's just. That's an auto harp.

[Brett]

There's a 25 year old dude in Texas. Could be facing charges after a video showed him using a three month old baby.

[Frank Caliendo]

I wanted to be done. It just proves that it can happen on accident.

[John Holmberg]

The day after Holocaust Remembrance Day, Frank, for no reason, in the middle of a story just hiled Brady just to tell him to stop. But yeah, you need a new signal.

[Brett]

A tick tock video. He used his three month old baby to clear the snow off his car.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can't do that. You can't use an infant to clean off the snow.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean you can, but I think.

[Frank Caliendo]

The different things I've used, it happened in Portland.

[John Holmberg]

To clean snow off. You've used a human being.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I've never used a child trying.

[Brett]

To be funny with it, but it looks a little aggressive. Well, that's what people thought.

[John Holmberg]

I mean it's probably hilarious.

[Brett]

And then he might have survived the Tide pod challenge early on. And then the kid, the guy, he's a father now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's. It is funny.

[Frank Caliendo]

He's closed.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you right now, the reason this is bad is not because the baby's cleaning the windshield. It's because that guy looks like that, right? If he was a decent looking member.

[Brady Bogan]

Of society, he was hot frosty then fine.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like when John Belushi did Samurai Snowplow. He's got the same hair as Belushi doing the samurai thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's not anything different than somebody just playing with their kid though. It just happens to be right utilizing.

[Brett]

You know you're gonna get people he upset.

[John Holmberg]

You can't use. What's the. I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

That's the address screen. Yeah, I got something there. After this video, that's the next video up.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's a Karate kid with boobs.

[John Holmberg]

Karate girl in lingerie. It's not real.

[Frank Caliendo]

I want it to be.

[John Holmberg]

I want it to be as well. That's why AI is so great. Because things we've always wanted will be real. Like sexy karate. We've all thought. God, karate. Just. It's so neat. If it was sexier, I'd totally involve.

[Dick Toledo]

Things we didn't know we needed.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are people still doing that? Kissing AI, that was for a couple days. Like, there was. They can make two people kiss that shouldn't be kissing.

[Brett]

Yeah, like Kamala.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've seen Trump and Kamala make out.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I watched Putin and Trump make out, which is hilarious.

[Frank Caliendo]

And that's real, though.

[John Holmberg]

That did happen. Yeah, that wasn't AI. That was just yesterday. There was a couple, but yeah, I saw that.

[Frank Caliendo]

You want to play Russian nesting Biden, too?

[John Holmberg]

Biden made out with area.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like that. When I was a young man growing.

[John Holmberg]

Up in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

[Frank Caliendo]

The end.

[John Holmberg]

I wrote a book. My autobiography. Page one. What.

[Frank Caliendo]

Page? Page one. What?

[John Holmberg]

Who's kissing here? Oh, it's. This guy's kissing the supermodel. And AI it is. See, I want to do that. That's hot. Actually, something about that whole thing is kind of sexy. This. This nerdy dude is making out with amazing women.

[Dick Toledo]

There you go. There's your app.

[John Holmberg]

Reviva. R E V I V A. Come on, tell me. Reviva. Las Vegas.

[Brett]

Vegas stays in Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna re. Viva Las Vegas. We're doing it again. The. Yeah. All right. Reviva. I gotta write that down because I'm gonna make myself do that.

[Dick Toledo]

Pick FAP and Reviva.

[John Holmberg]

All right. FIC FAP's amazing. That's. There's nothing I can control.

[Frank Caliendo]

What's. What's that?

[John Holmberg]

It's Tick Tock porn you'll never look at. No, porn on Tick Tock is fic fap. And so it's basically everything. Yeah. Every. I don't have the app, but I have a. A guy named Kevin sent me his. So I was scrolling through him like, this is ridiculous. And it's just like people. What they do on Tick Tock. Tick Tock only, like, naked. It's. It's strangely interesting as well as filthy, but it's.

[Frank Caliendo]

So it's sexual or it's just. It can be just okay.

[John Holmberg]

Depends on your mood, I suppose. Yeah. I don't know what you're doing with it.

[Frank Caliendo]

What are the searches?

[John Holmberg]

I certainly don't care, but if you'd like to fic FAP and make it. It educational, you could do that too.

[Frank Caliendo]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

I prefer the first option, which is, yes, it's sexual. There's a few of them. You're just like, what are you thinking? Just, like, gross. Well, that's true of all things, though. Like, she's just Disgusting. And she thinks people want to watch her. And then I did. So I guess she was right. No, they don't get, like, fetishy. I'm sure you could find it. But they have, you know, just doing dirty.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just clean, dirty stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like butts dirty. Like, not like. Yeah, not like stuffing toes or, you know, doing weird things.

[Brett]

Speaking of Brett.

[John Holmberg]

The basics. You got any videos, Brett?

[Brady Bogan]

You don't got any?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Here we go.

[Frank Caliendo]

Let's just look at.

[John Holmberg]

Watch the tv.

[Frank Caliendo]

Let's just look at Brady's.

[Brett]

Let's see the kid scrub the windshield.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was cute. Let's see what Brett's got. It's not cute.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll start with this.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see what? Snowblowers.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett has a little motorcycle action.

[John Holmberg]

Guy walking down the street, and he's. There goes a motorcycle. Oh, and you don't see it. Come on. But a car goes the other way. And half the motorcyclist is on the mirror.

[Brett]

That was just the limb.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Yeah, that's just his arm. It's just a. He clips the side of a car and some of them comes off. And you don't see it. It's just. Oh, that's horrible. That's a mystery. That's an M. Night Shyamalan video you just did.

[Brett]

He kept going.

[John Holmberg]

What do you do, guys? Arms stuck to your car. You didn't do anything. It's kind of his fault.

[Dick Toledo]

I see.

[Frank Caliendo]

Shred people.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll go over here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a topless girl. She's fairly attractive.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's gonna be a guy.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I was thinking, too. Hairy armpit. So she's Italian. Oh, that hair is like one of those. It looks like her vaginas. Her vagina's wearing one of those Russian hats. Yeah, she's got it. What kind of hair situation is this?

[Frank Caliendo]

I see Sweden's from the Muppets.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, guys, wait for me.

[Frank Caliendo]

Holy crap.

[John Holmberg]

Ass crack. All the way through it is. Why? Why indeed.

[Dick Toledo]

There's a little bit of Waldo the Magnificent in there.

[John Holmberg]

There is no God. It looks like somebody stepped on a. Like a Ding Dong.

[Frank Caliendo]

That does.

[John Holmberg]

It does look like.

[Frank Caliendo]

It does look like. There is some sort of small animal that's been turned into a rug.

[John Holmberg]

It has laid.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wait a second.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who said Patrick Starfish. That is exactly how I'm not seeing Patrick. I see the ship.

[Frank Caliendo]

Put it back to that spot. The ship right there.

[Brett]

It's Blackrick.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. No, I guess it has that. I see once you say it. Hey, SpongeBob. Patrick, what did you do? You're all dirty and in someone's ass.

[Frank Caliendo]

God. Why not?

[John Holmberg]

We have to ban another episode. Wow. Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Maybe get off the screen.

[John Holmberg]

No, I want to stare at that for months. What is it?

[Brady Bogan]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

And did you see her armpits? I noticed her armpits were really hairy. So I didn't know. I didn't know we were gonna roll, though. She doesn't have any hygiene.

[Brady Bogan]

And then this one Bailey sent over since Brady missed everything yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

The Holocaust remembrance. I don't know if I want to watch this. Oh. Oh. It's a guy dressed as a Nazi banging his head against a wall. Is it a woman?

[Dick Toledo]

That's a woman.

[John Holmberg]

It's a woman dressed as a Nazi. I got you this time. Okay, so there's a African American serviceman talking to the Nazi.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think it's.

[John Holmberg]

And she's yelling Heigl and Beetlejuice.

[Brady Bogan]

Just skip ahead here.

[Brett]

It's an audition.

[John Holmberg]

My whole Courtney Love.

[Frank Caliendo]

Courtney love, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. So we're looking at. They're doing. They're building a story that the Nazis beat the Americans. And then she's like. She's demanding to do sexual things to this American serviceman. And she's saying rather vulgar stuff about.

[Brady Bogan]

This is one you haven't seen before.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't think. And then our American serviceman is contemplating having sex with this Nazi.

[Dick Toledo]

What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

She wants Seinfeld. Yeah. This is bad.

[Brett]

This is acting.

[John Holmberg]

Taylor Sheridan's worst work. He's got a picture of Hitler.

[Dick Toledo]

He's going to stick his wing through it.

[John Holmberg]

And he put his wiener. Now the fear. The fear has. The black man has taken his gig. Okay. Why is that so brilliant? So he put his wiener through the back of Hitler's head and out his mouth through the picture. And now she's performing on the fur's photograph with a massive black.

[Frank Caliendo]

I tell you what, man. Similar to the snake video I did yesterday, man.

[John Holmberg]

Now a Nazi. I don't know what I'm looking at. This is a fever dream. And there's just a close up.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll just sit in there.

[John Holmberg]

That was how he taught her a lesson. Yeah, Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

I feel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Educated when I come.

[John Holmberg]

And that is why. And you know what? I can see it right now, even though you can't, because I've done this radio thing a long time. All the kids at BYU are standing up and clapping. We're getting byu, Rexburg. We're getting our stand up ovation or standing ovation. Next.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that the one with. That's the one with the potato museum, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that may be the worst beginning of a conversation I have ever heard. Oh, that's the place next to the potato museum. I'll go in the other room and kill myself there. Grand tomatoes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Grand thoma.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks for bringing me the potato museum. Chatter. Great work.

[Frank Caliendo]

Toma. Auto.

[John Holmberg]

Let's take a look in this room. This is where we shave down the taters and make chips. Behold. Over here's the skins. You know them from potato skins. For all you folks scoring at home. Great work, Grantoma. For all you Spanish people. Potato. I don't know how you say it. How do you say potatoes? Potato oil.

[Frank Caliendo]

Papas.

[John Holmberg]

Papas. Is that right?

[Frank Caliendo]

That's how I got it. Reverse engineered french fries in Spanish to get papas fritas.

[John Holmberg]

Great. You didn't pay extra, so you cannot go to the fry room in the potato museum. But it exists, trust me. And it is marvelous. Greatest. Greatest museum ever.

[Frank Caliendo]

Over here is the hero they worship.

[John Holmberg]

Mr. Potato Head is our God. Piel de papa the potato skin. Great work, Grantoma. Yeah, nobody's ever started a sentence and wanted that conversation to continue to go. Oh, that's right next to the potato museum. Oh, yeah. Bye. Most boring man ever. Oh, that's next to the cardboard factory. Such a fan of. Anyway, well, there you go. Congratulations, everybody. That video was unique.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if we can use that for the top 10.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, some about. It's disturbingly. Yeah, it's. But it's not racist.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

In the end, the blacks win. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And Hitler gets his. I mean, score one.

[Brett]

USA People getting together.

[John Holmberg]

That is making America great again. Like 70 years later, we're still mad at him.

[Brady Bogan]

We're coming together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's exactly right. Brett, if you ever want to tame a crazy, sexy Nazi broad, shove your wang through the back of Hitler's head and make her go to work. Courtney.

[Frank Caliendo]

Fits like a glove.

[John Holmberg]

That one got me. That's so dumb. And that's almost the potato factory of jokes. I shouldn't have enjoyed it, but I really had a good time and I man back. I'm going to talk about it with others. I never thought I'd. Do you guys ever been to that potato museum? It's like, shut up. No, trust me. It's like Lord of the dance up there. There you go. That's your Brady report. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning. Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. And I just let you know, we're just going to promote away, Frank. If you're going to do it, we're going to do it tonight. You said. And you don't drink beer, do you? You're not a beer.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm starting tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, beautiful. Watch Frank drink his first beer. Holmberg bound will be the way. You go and put homework in your mouth tonight, Frank. And you get that together tonight at Four Peaks over there in Tempe. Go to 98kupiti.com order up your last bits of the six packs. They're not going to be forever. So the six packs are going out there on tap all the time. And you're like, well, that's great, John. That's beer. Big deal. Well, I tell you, every time you get one, Humane Society benefits because we're giving the money to the Humane Society. So that's a good thing. Homburg bound tonight with our friends at Four Peaks over there in Tempe, six to eight o'clock and come grab your order. If you pre ordered already, you're gonna want to come down and grab that and then help out the puppies. Humane Society will be there, probably bring a couple of puppies, which will be a beautiful thing as well. And a perfect day. It rained a little bit and I spent. And then, you know, we'll all talk about Frank when he shows up tonight.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna be there.

[John Holmberg]

Are you coming tonight? Yes. No way. Or maybe no way. What are the. Give me a percentage. Just out of 50.

[Frank Caliendo]

50 at this point, actually. Okay, it's actually maybe 60. You're getting the car because of the face you made.

[John Holmberg]

You get back into your house, it's gonna go down 30.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, wait.

[John Holmberg]

And then 4 or 5 o'clock rolls around.

[Frank Caliendo]

I am going to plan on going.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't mean a thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I've known you for a while.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm honestly, this is what's going through my head. I'm planning. I, I thought at the beginning I was, I. There was no way it was not going to happen. And then, I don't know, 30 minutes ago I was like, I think I'm going to go just to, in spite, just to spite you.

[John Holmberg]

I can never again ask you to do something because I've burned that favor one time in the biggest way ever. When during COVID Brad Williams and Adam Ray wanted to come over to my house and bring people. And then I wasn't sure if anyone was coming. But Brad Williams showed up, and he kept saying, is Frank coming? And I think so. I don't know. And you had told him maybe. So he was kind of excited about it. So I kept texting him, like, get your ass over here. Like, this is your fault this is happening. All these people are. They're not coming here to see me. And then you showed up.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why would people want to. Why would people care?

[John Holmberg]

They did. And so then you. And then you and Brad just sat in my table.

[Frank Caliendo]

Some people think I'm way more important than I am.

[John Holmberg]

I think that might be true.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know the truth. Yeah, everybody in this studio knows the truth.

[John Holmberg]

But you made the drive and you came in and, like, I can never ask Frank again to do. To do us an appearance. Because that was a big burn. That was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, there.

[John Holmberg]

There.

[Frank Caliendo]

There was. There was one that. Another one that we'll talk about off the area.

[John Holmberg]

What? Where it made you go to something.

[Frank Caliendo]

You didn't make me, but we'll talk about it.

[John Holmberg]

Should I be worried?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Why can't we talk about it? Unless we're an open.

[Frank Caliendo]

You'll understand why. Oh, afterward.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Does Toledo have to leave? Is it something we did with him? Is it the potato museum invite?

[Frank Caliendo]

Could be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's a thing. All right, all right, we'll talk about it off there. I'm very curious, as is everyone now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, well, that's the way I want it.

[John Holmberg]

And then to the listeners, I'm gonna.

[Frank Caliendo]

Be telling the story at the Desert Ridge improv on Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Tickets available for this mystery stories on Friday.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's one show and two shows on Saturday, but tickets are going pretty quickly.

[John Holmberg]

Desertridgeimprov.com For Frank's mystery story, he reveals the big story of how I got him a second time. I don't remember the second one. Did we do a charity thing or something?

[Brett]

That's what I was thinking.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're getting closer. The chat. Actually, the charity thing we did for the police was. I think it was police and it was the firefighter.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you showed up to that. That was huge. Okay, I forgot about that.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was good because people. Those guys were great.

[John Holmberg]

They were asking for you before, and I just said, could you. You actually said yes to that pretty fast. I didn't have to beg you to do that one.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Because I figured I would use up.

[John Holmberg]

The yes, but then I made you do the Brad Williams.

[Frank Caliendo]

My world is.

[John Holmberg]

No, there was another one.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Did we go? Because I remember one. That's fine. That was yeah, that we can talk about that. That's not bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. That was the. That was when Lerner and Roe had their golf tournament and you had a flight. It wasn't a bad thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, well, no, I just didn't know if you. Because of advertisers.

[John Holmberg]

They're the sponsor of the studio. Be careful.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that's why.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, no, they're fine. Because that was. What are they gonna do?

[Frank Caliendo]

Sue me? Right.

[John Holmberg]

But they. But you were right about that.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

Nobody left.

[Frank Caliendo]

Did I say something wrong?

[Brett]

They're lawyers.

[Dick Toledo]

It's like a Brady throw in everything real quiet.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it was worse than that Nazi.

[John Holmberg]

Video because that was the thing. They had their golf tournament and then they wanted you to. You and I to host it, and they asked us to host it. And then you said, I'll do it, like begrudgingly. But you had to leave.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

So it was supposed to start at 3:30. And then they called and said, 4, 4:35. And I'm like, neither of us can do it. I couldn't go either.

[Frank Caliendo]

I remember that. I couldn't remember the details, but that was it. It kept going. Getting moved back. Well, yeah, it's gonna be at like five.

[John Holmberg]

That.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was six. I'm like, I gotta get on a flight.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I was gonna host the whole thing. You were gonna be there for a little bit. Bit.

[Frank Caliendo]

Make it better and then.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And then just kind of launch me to the masses and say, all right, like, Brad Williams. Yeah. Pushed me out and. Yeah, that's right. But we never did that. So that wasn't a favor used. Because it was. We were.

[Frank Caliendo]

It took a lot of my time, the whole day and to worry about how bad it was going to be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because we both thought golfers at the end of their day, drunk golfers in a room, eating. And you and I are supposed to talk to them. And I'm like, I don't know how this is going to go. But they did. They corralled you to. I don't remember how you did. I don't remember doing it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Because we didn't do it.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't remember. I don't remember making you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Because it was good for.

[John Holmberg]

I think you needed a lawyer. Certain things you were trying to get in.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was later learner.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Frank Caliendo]

You did actually get help from Kevin.

[John Holmberg]

So it worked out. You were welcome.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's how it works. All right. That one's so glad it worked out. And the worst part is we ruined the big reveal for your show at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. Because now they know the story. But there's more.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's another.

[John Holmberg]

There's a whole nother, whole other.

[Frank Caliendo]

Elementary.

[John Holmberg]

Kurt Warner had us too, for a little bit. We ended up under a blanket together doing. Remember that? We had to lay under a blanket and do voices for this so we could record without echo. And we were under a blanket and Frank looked at me and he goes, this is goddamn ridiculous. I agree. They just played clips of us weird.

[Frank Caliendo]

And then we had the AI kissing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the AI kissed for half hour. I want to talk about something like, this bothered me last night, and it's on my mind, so I'm bringing it up now. I was at the Suns game last night in the urinals for the. For the bathrooms, right? And everybody's. It's a thing. There's protocol. There's all that. Do women. And you may know this, but do women feel the need? There were five urinals last night on the wall. All five were taken. Now, first off, the new thing they do with urinals is to put mirrors penis level. And I don't know why. There's a reflective surface so you can look at your sad, shriveled up white dick right there in that mirror while you pee. And I don't know when that started, but I've noticed it with all the urinals that there's a little tiny mirror now on the.

[Brett]

I haven't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, you will.

[Frank Caliendo]

I've seen that. You've seen it too, and it's just awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, for some people. Some people, it's just a reminder of how life isn't working.

[Brett]

They don't magnify the mirror at all.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's a fun house mirror.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. For you. Yeah. Brady, actually, they'll make it thinner for you. Yeah, yours does. Yeah. When Rocky Dennis was normal in Mask. It's Dick Mask. So they got the mirrors on there. And I was talking to my friend who was two urinals over. I'm like, the mirrors, they're everywhere now. And he goes, I just noticed that guy at the end goes, the mirrors, they just. Man. And I'm like, all right, calm down. He was like, angry. And then I was like, we know about you now. Like, there's a reason you're upset about the mirror here. But all five guys at one point or another went, do women do that? Is that a peeing thing or is it just us? The women go pee and then like.

[Brett]

Slip and then stand back up and spit.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't have to stand up. They just open her up.

[Dick Toledo]

An oyster.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, a fat lady would have to stand up, but a lady whose thighs don't touch or what I like to call a good woman. She can just, you know, spread it down into the.

[Brett]

They don't.

[John Holmberg]

Why do we.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just emptying out.

[John Holmberg]

Everything must go.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just gotta get it all out from everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

All five guys and they spit while they pee. And I did it, too.

[Dick Toledo]

I was gonna say, did you do it?

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, why do we do that? I don't think that's a peeing thing.

[Dick Toledo]

I think it's like yawning. I think it's contagious.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Because I do it when nobody's around too. Yeah. Yeah. You spit when you pee. You just do.

[Brett]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

You don't spit when you pee?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Ever?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's your rare one.

[Frank Caliendo]

I have, but not constantly. I don't think I do it all the time.

[John Holmberg]

I do it most of the time. Brett, you do it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I've done it. But yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's not every now.

[Brady Bogan]

But you don't really think about it.

[Frank Caliendo]

You just.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. Why is it. Why is this happening?

[Dick Toledo]

Throw it, oyster.

[John Holmberg]

Women don't do it. Yeah. Every dude. And it wasn't contagious. It was going to happen no matter what. I think we all spit when we.

[Frank Caliendo]

Pee in different tones. And then there was a song.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like blowing seals, blowing horns. I was thinking that exact same thing. Yep. Because when we're at urinals, we like to think of blowing stuff. That's what we do. That's what the mirror is for. But I don't know. I can't imagine that it's like, why. Because women don't do it. So it's not a pee thing. It's a guy thing. And maybe it is just a clear it out territorial spit. Pee. Put your scent on everything. Is it some sort of throwback to the way Wayback Machine when we did this.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm give you this. I'm gonna give you this.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. We're giving it to the urinal take. Wow. But I will push back a little on the everything must go. Because there's still some stuff there that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Not for some guys.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the farting thing, too. They'll throw those out. I do, too. That they'll just openly gas one out while they're standing there. Yeah. I think that's strange. Too. But urinal behavior has its protein. You don't spit when you pee ever.

[Brett]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are you.

[Brett]

I think it's interesting.

[John Holmberg]

You do?

[Brett]

Yeah. Do you never seen it when they. I mean, you go to a urinal and no.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's clean.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

But you've never cleared your throat even at home.

[Brett]

Like I've done it in the sink before.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that. See that I do.

[Frank Caliendo]

It sickens me. Come on over.

[John Holmberg]

You spit in your sink? Loogies. Bathroom sink regularly.

[Brett]

But if I'm gonna do a loogie, do it in the sink. Right.

[John Holmberg]

The. The full bathroom sink. If I do the. It's going in the toilet. I will not put that in the sink.

[Frank Caliendo]

Here's a clog.

[Dick Toledo]

Dexter says. John, I've never understood the urinal spit thing. My nose is clear. I can breathe. I have not felt compelled to do that men's bathroom ever.

[John Holmberg]

A constant going to.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it a sinus thing?

[John Holmberg]

I don't. I don't necessarily even do that.

[Dick Toledo]

Like for me I've just throw.

[Frank Caliendo]

People are just looking for another sound.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's some people that could be.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like if there's a. There's some cover up. Other sounds. Yeah, there's some of those.

[John Holmberg]

Can you imagine me with this mustache pulling up next to you at the urinal, starting to whistle? It's like a horror movie. What are you doing? Nothing. Peeing and you know, killing some dead. Killing some dead air. Killing some dead air here. Getting rid of everything.

[Frank Caliendo]

Little bridge over the river. Quiet.

[John Holmberg]

And then everybody would start whistling. But I. I thought that was weird.

[Frank Caliendo]

Following with the schlongs now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We turn into seven dwarves. I just thought it was weird because I don't think women do it.

[Frank Caliendo]

That one's Sneezy.

[Dick Toledo]

John truck driver here spitting in the urinal. Isn't that disgusting? Compared to what men do in the restroom, for instance. Blowing nose in the sink. Got a couple weird arguments over that. Nasty crap.

[John Holmberg]

But that's not a constant. That's a. That's a. That's an outlier a one off. Yeah. People aren't doing that regularly in the sink. Like we do spit when we pee. And I don't understand that. That's been 52 years and I've watched it happen. I've heard it happen. And yesterday it bugged me.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are you googling that spit when you pee?

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

What's the percentage, I wonder? It's got to be all of us. And eventually you got us. Except for Brady. Brady's the only 90.

[Brett]

And the other dude, that 98.

[John Holmberg]

Four out of five minutes out of a hundred. The big red radio wants you to spit while you go. Yeah. This. This guy says I do it to get the taste of the public bathroom out of my body. Maybe. I don't know. But I don't think ladies do it unless they do.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think ladies spit less than completely. Know this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, it's a thing that I.

[Frank Caliendo]

Have you ever seen like a lady? Like. And.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but then for. But that's the last time I'm looking. Yeah. Or she's not going to ever be in a room with me again. If she throws a. And she's not sick. She's just spitting. And girls spit bad anyway. It always hangs off their lip. They don't know how to do it. Ladies should all swallow. That's what I say.

[Brett]

That's what they're taught.

[John Holmberg]

That's what they're taught. Spitting is bad for you, lady. Anyway, sort of throw it. A little public observation.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think it's great.

[John Holmberg]

It is great, Frank. It's really good.

[Dick Toledo]

I'd like to thank Brady for texting in.

[John Holmberg]

John.

[Dick Toledo]

Everybody farts when they pee in a urinal. You can't have a little rain without the thunder.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Kirby.

[Brady Bogan]

Kirby.

[John Holmberg]

Go to school. Kirby. We made Kirby Bill Walton now. Because Brady. We think that she's a stoner and Brady doesn't know it. She dresses like a stoner. She kind of looks.

[Brady Bogan]

Is she working at the record shop?

[John Holmberg]

She tries to get a job and she hasn't gotten a job since. Right. Or even looked. It was Record Shop or Bust. It's the summer she took Brady to the Bob Marley movie. He didn't want to go, but she had to see it.

[Frank Caliendo]

I know how this ends.

[John Holmberg]

So she went from Andre the Giant into Bill Wall Walton. Now Kirby Walton. Which. It just gets high. I'm not going to do it. But it was a very strange. We're convinced of that. The other thing I wanted to ask you is the. The question that we've been asking for the last week because Brady was wildly delusional. They did a study of men and said if you walked into a room of 2,000 people, women your age, how many of them would turn and say, wow, that's an attractive man. Out of 2000. 2000. We can even go a thousand.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a thousand.

[John Holmberg]

It was a thousand. 2000. 1000 women your age. Which is what can. Happy belated. 51 years old. 51 year old women look at you and go, wow, that's A good looking man.

[Frank Caliendo]

What have they seen in the past?

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Brett]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

First blush, you walking around. No.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, They've never seen a man before?

[John Holmberg]

No, they haven't seen a man before. They're.

[Frank Caliendo]

I was at a thousand.

[John Holmberg]

Let me say this. They're familiar with the traditional handsome Brad Pitt man. And they're. They're familiar with the non traditional ugly booger from the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Gotta be some weirdos. Nine.

[John Holmberg]

Nine is your number. Okay. Brady said 25. I told him he's nuts at zero. Maybe nine for you. You have a particularly proportionate face. Like you don't have any odds. And you're. You're short, though. I maybe lean more towards three or four. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, there's fetishes, but it isn't.

[John Holmberg]

They wouldn't be fetish right off the bat. And you don't. What do you represent? Fetish style? What is your. What is the thing that you're like, ooh, that's my thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Chubby cheeks.

[John Holmberg]

So women who love babies.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You think that that would make you like, you think you've walked in a room and turned heads.

[Frank Caliendo]

I've stood next to Chris Hemsworth and women fainted when they saw.

[John Holmberg]

So that is.

[Brett]

It was amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so at least two or three, like, women, actually.

[Frank Caliendo]

I was standing there with Chris Hemsworth and women were coming through the line and they like they were losing consciousness when they saw us.

[John Holmberg]

That's amazing.

[Frank Caliendo]

As I turned to him, I was like, oh, must be you.

[John Holmberg]

Must be you, Frank. Of course. Certainly it's me. I didn't even comb my hair this morning. Clearly you didn't eat either.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Let's take a picture together.

[John Holmberg]

Let's take photos together. Get on your tiptoes.

[Frank Caliendo]

The funniest thing about him is he doesn't even walk. He glides.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like, it's just.

[John Holmberg]

He's different. Human.

[Dick Toledo]

Really.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, yeah, he's all in one.

[Brett]

It's so smooth.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it's like his feet don't actually touch the ground and he walks with bent legs. You know those. The kind of guys that walks like, it's just. It's a hover. Yeah, it's like kind of like Dracula. Like, just kind of scoots across the.

[John Holmberg]

You don't really see move movement.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But that guy says to me, out of the thousand, probably 700 and maybe even more, and I'd be like, that's accurate. You say nine and I think you're a little high.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Brady tried 25 and we all laughed.

[Frank Caliendo]

Am I in current shape? Or could I get into shape just today?

[John Holmberg]

You walk in the room Today, right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, 51 year old women over, under 7.5.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a Cardinal season on wins seven and a half. Okay, I'll give you that. I think I can go with it. I think Brett, we've talked about it goes in in the mid-20s, but then gives off that, that goomba vibe and immediately it drops. Like the second he starts talking, it's over. Second you start going, it's going to go up. He drops back maybe.

[Brady Bogan]

But then, but then we went to gay bar side and Brady's higher up on the list.

[John Holmberg]

Gay bar is way up there because Brady's a fetish there. Brady doesn't have woman fetish unless she's like totally into elderly downs. Page patients.

[Brett]

25. 25.

[John Holmberg]

No, there is no 25 on that. None. And I'm the same way. I'm zero also.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't think you're zero.

[John Holmberg]

I walk into the room, there are zero heads turning.

[Frank Caliendo]

How many?

[John Holmberg]

Zero.

[Frank Caliendo]

The mustache.

[John Holmberg]

Current mustache doesn't matter.

[Frank Caliendo]

37.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe the mustache makes a few girls go. Something about him reminds me of that uncle I don't talk about. And then she has a thing that's fetishy, but I don't turn heads. I've never walked in a room and had a woman stop talking and just lean and go, whoa. No, it's not a thing. So it's zero, my number zero. I will live on that.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

A thousand fifty two year old weird. No, they're not. Yeah, they're all the same.

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. And you know how. And we've talked about this. They all talk about wanting a guy with a sense of humor, but never have you had people and your, your agents never called and said, hey, there's a company that wants to make a bunch of posters for you for teen girls walls. Funny is not what they want. But Chris Hemsworth posters exist. They know what attractive is and they have a standard.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, there's his walk.

[Frank Caliendo]

The movie twist.

[Dick Toledo]

I was trying to find it too.

[John Holmberg]

There's Hemsworth walking around. It's just annoying. It's perfect. It's a perfect walk. Now that guy walks in a room.

[Brett]

Is that a real human?

[John Holmberg]

900 people turn their heads and go, look at this. Come on. He just whipped his hair out. Oh, your best. He's in Thor's boots and pants that are ridiculously tight. It's just weird. He's just. He's so attractive. It's sick. It's sickening.

[Brady Bogan]

What a dick.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, because Dale, hell, I think you met Dale here before. He said 500. Remember Dale? He's former long sampler for the cowboys. He's been here, looks to call him Frank and Dale.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, right.

[John Holmberg]

And he thought 500. It's just such a delusional thing. I've been asking everybody this question because I'm always knocked out. Out at what people think.

[Brett]

Now I give you, in the survey that they did, 42% said 25, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's just not a thing. 25 women are not going to find guy if you're just basically saying.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day. People with giant egos that don't deserve them.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like I don't understand. But they get somewhere in life. Like they see themselves.

[John Holmberg]

They convince other people that they must be on to something. I don't see it. But he's so confident in it. Like there's Dale. Five hundred of a thousand women he says would find that attractive.

[Brett]

That's a good picture of Dale.

[John Holmberg]

And that is one of his better Pictures. That's 40 years old. That's him at SMU and that's him with buffalo. Yeah. It's just weird. So he comes in here on Thursdays.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think he still sees himself from 30 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

He still has that. And he. And he carries ego.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But he's also 6 5.

[Frank Caliendo]

There was a picture there where.

[Brett]

When he was young.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, look at that.

[Dick Toledo]

You're on the Internet.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm not in that picture at all. Yeah, you are.

[Dick Toledo]

You're in.

[John Holmberg]

No, I am not. That is not. Not me. That's sharp. Prove that I'm in that. Oh, you're.

[Dick Toledo]

That's right. You're behind the top.

[John Holmberg]

Dale at my house with a Super bowl trophy at one of my Steeler events. And I was not in that photo. Cannot be proven that I'm in that. But anyway, yeah, it's just a weird thing that people are doing. I just don't. And there are certain, like Toledo. I even give him. I'm like, you'd probably be in the mid-20s just on first blush because they're symmetrical. You have a. I don't know if.

[Dick Toledo]

I'd go even that high to a decent face. I think now today it's probably under 10 if I get that many.

[John Holmberg]

You'd get some though. Yeah, I get zero, Frank. I get zero. Five five to ten out of a.

[Dick Toledo]

Thousand under ten women under ten. 56 year old.

[Brett]

56.

[John Holmberg]

You get yours is height. Like you're simply as height. Like again, it's just a matter of walking in a room and turning heads. It's never happened but in three days you're 60.

[Brett]

So 60 year old women, they, they start shrinking up.

[John Holmberg]

Then you gotta wait for them to come to you.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, what if you walk in.

[Brett]

Like they're coming down to my left level?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh yeah. If you put on a show.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's different. That's not just.

[Brett]

Yeah, walk into the room, you know, then it goes up.

[Frank Caliendo]

You ever see the wooden man with arms and swing? Tap the board underneath my belt.

[John Holmberg]

You see the number just dropping baseline.

[Frank Caliendo]

Anyway, who invited the Muppet?

[John Holmberg]

I just wanted to ask that because we've been asking it and I'm fascinated by that study because people, I think it tells a lot about who they are. It's like, oh, 500. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Because I probably first off would have gone negative number.

[John Holmberg]

You think they would have told friends not to like you who aren't even there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Don't, don't, don't.

[John Holmberg]

But you're, you're a decent looking person. There's nothing I look at pictures of.

[Frank Caliendo]

When I was younger and go, why did I let myself go to where I, you know, especially I have pictures of me next to Tom Cruise where it looks like I'm going to eat Tom Cruise. I was mad.

[John Holmberg]

I remember.

[Frank Caliendo]

No idea.

[John Holmberg]

On your fridge you kept a picture of yourself when you were fat and.

[Frank Caliendo]

It couldn't even fit on the fridge.

[John Holmberg]

The fridge was tilted. It was being pulled down into the earth. Yeah. I just find it to be a thing that there's a lot of arrogance and certain people you can see because 1% of the population is good looking, but you do.

[Brett]

I mean, I wonder how much of a factor. Okay, you're right that Dale always says six five.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's six five.

[Brett]

No matter what goes in there.

[John Holmberg]

Six five, six five is what they're looking at. That's a fat picture there is gigantic.

[Dick Toledo]

You are big there. I didn't realize you, you had gotten that big.

[John Holmberg]

What's your biggest weight? That is huge.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know. I stopped looking at like 235 or something and I'm five six.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. You have the nerve to call me chubby. Look at you about to eat Tom Cruise.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you guys the same height?

[John Holmberg]

Look at the Top Gun. Top Gun and Top Chef.

[Frank Caliendo]

He, I think he was taller than me, but he might have had lifts.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow. So you were like a 10 there.

[John Holmberg]

You're. That's the biggest. You've. I don't remember you being that big. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't remember you ever come in here that big.

[John Holmberg]

He had.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, it must have.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Talked about his Tom Cruise thing. They are begging him for food. That's farley size there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And good for you, Frank.

[Brady Bogan]

My name is Frank Caliendo.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I just want to throw that at you while you're here just chatting away.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's like. I judge how fat I am by how much of my nose you can see.

[John Holmberg]

Like your face eats. Your face starts to eat a horrible.

[Dick Toledo]

Still, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. It does, actually. That one's not bad. That looks like Joey if he was fat.

[Brett]

That's about 30 women. Probably a thousand 30 ladies would like.

[Frank Caliendo]

Never, never comb my hair for. For tv.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I just don't see it. Not you. It's fine. We'll see you tonight, though. You can maybe turn some heads.

[Frank Caliendo]

What's it, six to eight?

[John Holmberg]

Six to eight? You're already not going, so stop.

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

He's putting a memo on his phone to remind him to knock. Remember to see. Yeah, 6 to 8 o'clock tonight at Four Peaks in Gothard. Grab the Hound. Put homburg juice in your mouth and enjoy your evening for the puppies.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna be there tonight.

[John Holmberg]

You are not coming. There's no way.

[Frank Caliendo]

Where is it?

[John Holmberg]

Four Peaks, six to eight. I'll probably.

[Frank Caliendo]

They're closer to six.

[John Holmberg]

Less. Less.

[Frank Caliendo]

You'll be there the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

Six to eight. That's what we say. Six to eight. That's what that means.

[Frank Caliendo]

Is that in. Will you be there before setting up.

[John Holmberg]

Or did I don't do any of that. We have people. Yeah, I'm not doing any of that.

[Frank Caliendo]

All right. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna bounce. That's what they say. Leave. Yeah, I'm gonna head out now.

[John Holmberg]

Right now?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna be there at 6. I was gonna leave at 9, but we'll be gone. So. Yeah, I'll come back for the squares.

[John Holmberg]

Friday.

[Frank Caliendo]

Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

You doing squares on Friday?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, we will.

[Frank Caliendo]

This week.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, we will.

[Frank Caliendo]

Or should I come super bowl week or both?

[John Holmberg]

You do both. You just keep coming as often as you want.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hopefully I have what shows to do. Hey. When I come in here with nothing. Nothing. And I do it for fun and I think to myself, what a. I got up. I'm coming in here for fun while everybody else in the room's getting paid.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Frank Caliendo]

Various amounts.

[John Holmberg]

That's an. A.

[Dick Toledo]

Very but you'd have to host something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you could host them. We'll see if they'll pay you.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, no. I don't want to get you. I don't want to do anything.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. We'll keep you out of things. And then if you want to show.

[Frank Caliendo]

Up, I'm coming tonight. To the show.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna be there. So that. Not the show. The.

[John Holmberg]

It's just the thing. Just hanging around, drinking.

[Brett]

I don't know why you're doing.

[Frank Caliendo]

I won't drink. I'll just watch people drink. Is it in. Is it in a plaza or anything like that?

[John Holmberg]

It's in a restaurant. Bar.

[Dick Toledo]

It's outdoor. Outdoor.

[John Holmberg]

Indoor.

[Frank Caliendo]

Four Peaks. But I mean, is it.

[John Holmberg]

That's where it is.

[Frank Caliendo]

Standalone.

[Brett]

It's standalone.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's standalone.

[Brett]

There's no other restaurants.

[John Holmberg]

When he said, I know Four Peaks, then you don't.

[Frank Caliendo]

I know what it is. I've never.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see. Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's more than one, isn't there?

[John Holmberg]

Not anymore. It's just a restaurant.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm going to the one you're going to.

[John Holmberg]

The one that you know. The. The leftover.

[Frank Caliendo]

The four people.

[John Holmberg]

This was. This is the original place. You'll like it.

[Brett]

It's haunted.

[John Holmberg]

Let's not go there. There we go.

[Frank Caliendo]

And where. It's on.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. I'm with you. Six to eight, thereabouts. Your GPS will get you there. Six to eight tonight. Putting it in now to see if GPS can. Well, you need some time.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's not showing up.

[John Holmberg]

Your GPS knows. I think you will.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm going to plan on it.

[John Holmberg]

Perhaps the celebrity side.

[Frank Caliendo]

Listen.

[John Holmberg]

In fact.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay. Because I have the shows this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

That greatly ups the chance of me going. Because then tomorrow, when I'm not here in the studio, you guys, we'll talk about you. I am that much of a whore. They're gonna plan that out.

[John Holmberg]

There's pictures of it on the Internet. I'll keep you. So we'll be right around there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be there.

[John Holmberg]

We'll save you a spot to park.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna be there.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. You show up and we'll end up going. And then Frank took his pants off and be like. And you can see that at Desert Ridge Improv this weekend.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm just gonna be there tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Earlier. Because bedtime is like seven now, so.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's Tuesday, right?

[John Holmberg]

It is Tuesday. That's right. You're getting it. Boy, this is hard. Just asking somebody to do something.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are you sure you want to ask me to go and do this?

[John Holmberg]

We'll talk later.

[Frank Caliendo]

Listen, I'm going to be there now. And the reason is just the story. And a lot of times they don't want to be the story.

[John Holmberg]

It could be that you won't be. You're just an observer to a story. And then your reaction.

[Frank Caliendo]

I want to be part of it. I'm going to be part of what?

[John Holmberg]

Frank's going to be part of. Of it. He said so. If he doesn't, it'll still be a story. See what you did? You don't show up, we'll still talk about, like how Frank said mastermind. Yeah. This is brilliant.

[Frank Caliendo]

I have no idea how brilliant.

[John Holmberg]

You have puppeteered this entire event.

[Frank Caliendo]

Call me Jerry.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Frank Caliendo]

I have been.

[John Holmberg]

Frank. Are you leaving now?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I'm gonna go.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Frank's leaving. Thank you, Frank. Frank's at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend if you want to go Friday and Saturday. Tickets [e-mail] that's easy. All done. Thanks for coming in. It was fun to have you.

[Frank Caliendo]

See you tonight.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Grand thoma. Man, it's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not Weir.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Yeah. Boy. The only one left with a brain. Brady. The only one left on the planet with a brain in his goddamn head. Ian Schwartz, Channel three. Get in that.

[Brett]

What did he do now?

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you right now, what he did is. What he didn't do is go into the newsroom and say, this story we're doing is. We were. Nobody asked any questions. Arizona's family. I'm putting it out there. This is breaking news and it's an alert. They're trying to make this all warm and fuzzy and cute because the temperatures have gotten cold. Here's the headline. You tell me what you think and how. Come on. Anonymous donor donates. Now, those three words together automatically makes you feel all right. 2,000 coats to the Navajo Nation. Navajo Nation. Burn those coats. History is our guide. You do not accept.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't fall for it again.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do it again. Last time you were cold and you got a bunch of blankets from an anonymous donor. Didn't work out. An anonymous donor. You should know better.

[Brett]

History.

[John Holmberg]

History says, don't show yourself. You don't want somebody you can't account for. Handing over Coats to the Navajos. We've done this. Don't do it. Channel three. Don't do it. And they put it in there. Something good. Section of the news. Sponsored by Global Credit Union. They're trying to kill you. Navajos burn the jackets. The Navajo presidents like warm hearts. Anonymous donor. No. The president of the Navajo Nation cares about his people. He'd come out and go, what the is this? Some jackass just dropped off a bunch of tainted coats to us. We've seen this movie. Use the coats as kindling if you're cold. And start a big fire and stand around it. Navajos don't put that coat on. Don't handle it without gloves. Burn it.

[Brett]

Maybe they do it every year.

[John Holmberg]

No. You don't anonymously donate warming supplies to the Indians. We just don't. And we put it on there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

What a wonderful story. Some anonymous man dropped off 2,000 jackets for cold injury. No. The only one left. The only one left with any common sense. Shouldn't have been a story. That Navajo should have called Channel 3 and said, Somebody's trying to kill us. A man. Some. We need to find out who this anonymous man is and put him in jail because he's trying to kill. He tried to kill 2000 Indians today.

[Brady Bogan]

Get Gary Harper on this thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Get somebody. Where's that Watkus character? He used to break this stuff down. You don't have any in investigative reporting anymore. 2000 jackets show up in an Indian's house. Indians. You should be suspicious.

[Brett]

Someone trying to build a stadium or some kind of development or something.

[John Holmberg]

No. If it isn't plans for a casino. It's against you. Look, I'm white. You should be skeptical of us. It's our job to prove to you without any anonymous tactics. Whitey. You can't anonymously donate things to the Indians. I found out what's nice. Why is it anonymous? I don't want any credit for it. Are you kidding me?

[Brett]

And we're airdropping it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We're not getting too close. And also it's a drop by a drone. Because we don't human hands on these coats. It's because it's covered in the pox. Oh, no. What's going on? I've been a long time since I've been here. Hey, Bert. How you doing?

[Brady Bogan]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

How you doing?

[Brett]

That's good to see your jacket you're wearing.

[John Holmberg]

It's a nice coat. I just got up for free. From a stranger. Not. Don't take nothing from no whitey for nobody. You'd get your name out there. That what I say there.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a nice Guardians jacket.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. It's a Cleveland. Guardians, huh? My people. Hey, Whitey foot. You turn the top off and you show yourself. What your name? I am Chief Burns. Coats. I can't believe any whitey would try that trick. We've been through this before. Take that jacket off. Jack it off. Hey, wait. All right, Doc, Mike, get out, jacket off and relax. Vernon it immediately. By the way, March 10th. Out there at my casino, the profit margins will soar like an eagle when we have whitey palooza. March 10. Why palooz? Jesus Christ, they come for me. Sorry about that. Whitey Palooza. Come out. We're all fenced in whiteies, and we'll show you, like nip biscuits and all sorts of things like that. You come out the big roundup and in order to keep you warm, we will start a fire all around you. Don't worry. Worry. You'll be surrounded by warmth. Now, somebody pick up these goddamn jackets and get them off my land. You mother foot, you. Lady.

[Brett]

Brought him out.

[John Holmberg]

I've not seen Double down in a while.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think he's been here since I've joined the show.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Adam Morago says Megan, full banana in the tailpipe trick. Don't do it. And Channel three. This should have been looked into. It's terrible. Until it's not. Ask a couple questions.

[Brett]

Anonymous.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ had the nerve on this guy. I'll drop them off for the Indians. Won't use my name. There you go. They just wake up. What's outside the TP door? The pile of coats. Oh, what a gift. Nope. Nope. And I know you Hopies over there laughing at them Navajos. You're on the list. I know the story between you two. Not big fans. You kind of get mad at each other. They tell racist jokes about each other. You ever been with a Hopi guy talking. Oh, it's funny. They're no fans of each other. Not at all. So I'm just saying I'm a little public service announcement from the only brain left in all the world that doesn't want everything to be all shiny and sweet. I'm sure all the other radio stations. Oh, what a wonderful chest chair. No, it's not. It's terrible. It's dangerous. It's awful dangerous and terrible. It's just. It's. Yeah. It's like sending bullets to RFK Junior's house, going, we're thinking about you. It's something we thought maybe you'd need these anyway. All right, India, back me up on this and start making some calls. Yeah, this guy says, wouldn't it be the same as, like donating train rides to the Jewish community? It's like, nah, we're not doing that. Only Jews get on the trains. Like, no free sunset train tours for Jews only. Lesson learned. Prove your Jewish heritage and you'll get one oven from Spencer. No, no, no, no. Nope, nope. There's reasons to be suspicious.

[Brady Bogan]

Club tattoos a sponsor in that free tattoos.

[John Holmberg]

If you're Jewish, be skeptical. Be east. Get boat rides for all your African American friends. We'll take you to some anonymous place. It's a surprise free cruise. Don't get on it. Do not get on it. Not a thing. Indians don't accept anonymous warming cloth from anyone. It's candy from strangers, for God's sakes. Anyway, I'm the only one left. Brady, you seem to be upset about this. Like it should be going the other way, but you know I'm right.

[Brett]

No, no, I, I, it's dish even.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, did you hear that? Brady just said I'd ask questions. And this man asks no questions. Brady found like piles of cooked meat on his door. Wow.

[Brett]

What a gift.

[John Holmberg]

And everybody else would kick it over. Somebody's trying to kill us. Brady eats in storm drains with neighbors making pies. Never says, that's probably. Does this lady have any cats? What's her hygiene like? Does she wash her hands after a poo? Is that a Peach gobbler? I'm in. No ask questions. That's all I'm telling you. It's a Native American community. I'm the only one looking out for you. There's nobody else.

[Brady Bogan]

There's no Sonny's Washington Commander's jackets right.

[John Holmberg]

Back to where came from. Not even your president who said, what a nice thing. He didn't even think about it. It will repeat itself. Please. Oh my God. This is. What do Navajos call Vienna sausages? Hopy Dicks. I don't know if that's a joke or just somebody telling me some fact. You, you people need to back off each other and get and unite now, now, now. Unite over the this, this coat thing. I'm telling you, never ever trust a free. Nothing's free. Nothing's free. It's 918. We're going to do our hot releases in just a little bit. I hope those coats are on fire right now. I hope the Navajo Nation president did one of those V8 moves and smashes his forehead with the palm of his Hand goes. Oh, I didn't even think of that. He's right. Burn those coat. Hey, you got a good bear Fire. You got guys. We're good with fire. Get it going. We got the hot releases coming up next. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

He's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Hber's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. A little five finger for you. A guy emailed and said, john, they're not gonna try that trick again on the Indians with the pox and the blankets. There's a vaccine for. I'm not saying they're using one. That's fixed. You can't do it. Then he said it would be a terrorist attack. Exactly.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not gonna be any bird flus that shut down the country for a year and a half.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing about that.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

And then a Navajo said the president over there. The Navajo nation sided with Trump and made all the Navajos mad. So there's a little battle going on. Also noticed on Channel 3's website they're doing a name. The snowplow thing again.

[Dick Toledo]

Snowy McSnowface.

[John Holmberg]

My favorite one from last year, if I remember correctly was Blizzo. I don't know why that one guy. I like that one a lot. Big fat machine pushing whitey out of the way. Blizzo. But it will be like surplus a lot. Or is that scoop there it is.

[Dick Toledo]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Because scoop there it is actually pretty good.

[Frank Caliendo]

Houston.

[John Holmberg]

I should enter that.

[Dick Toledo]

Three or four days of snow and they don't even own a snowplow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Wow. New Orleans had 9 inches. We have no idea what's going on. But you know it's going to be like, I think they did it last year. They said, let me see if I can find it. Yeah. Last year they had three finalists. Snowbe won. Kenobi. Fast and flurious. Yeah. And Scoopacabra. So just dads with 14 year old daughters were furiously typing in their hilarious scuba cobra. The answer is clear. If you're a real person, it's Mr. Plow. Because the Simpsons episode will forever make a plow. Mr. Plow. That name again is Mr. Plow. Call Mr. Plow. Mr. Plow. That name again is Mr. Plow. Mr. Plow is the name of your plow machine. Not Blizzo, not Snowbe. Juan Kenobi. It's Mr. Plow. And then underneath it says that Name again is Mr. Plow.

[Dick Toledo]

By the way, many texts In a row about how you are now a certified member. Holy hell Holmberg.

[John Holmberg]

Of the.

[Dick Toledo]

That movie joke you said is effing killing me. You are now a certified Navajo. Let's get started on the paperwork for you to get your own CIB number.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want that. Do I get a little bit of that casino?

[Dick Toledo]

I think that lets you free people.

[John Holmberg]

Now. The hopies and Navajos do anything. Yeah, the Hopies. I think we were just looking it up. I'm gonna be one of them. Pea posh. You guys have all the casinos. How can I make a Navajo joke in favor of pea posh? Yeah. I get a couple hula hoops and a hat and I just join up. You can name the snowplow if you're interested.

[Brett]

What's the deadline on that?

[John Holmberg]

February 3rd. Be sure to get you workshopping anything.

[Dick Toledo]

You got anything in the wheelhouse?

[John Holmberg]

Han Snowlow will fall out of your face shortly. I know. Anything that starts the anything bro you can just replace with Snow. No. It's Mr. Plow. End of story. The guy driving it has to wear the coat. Simpsons fans know what I'm talking about. It's Mr. Plow. Coat says Mr. Plow on. He started that plowing company when Homer bought the snowplow. It's one of the funniest episodes Simpsons ever had. That commercial does your gut. Commercial?

[Dick Toledo]

I don't have the commercial.

[John Holmberg]

Commercials too good.

[Dick Toledo]

Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

And he had. I think he had.

[Dick Toledo]

Lind, you can get the jacket.

[John Holmberg]

The jacket is available. That's what I'm saying. You have to own Mr. Plow. The jacket. It's one of. It's one of my favorite episodes. I think Conan O'Brien wrote that one. It's so. Is that it?

[Dick Toledo]

Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. If you find it, I'm. I'll wait for you. Oh, it's so good.

[Frank Caliendo]

There we are.

[John Holmberg]

It may be on a lousy channel, but the Simpsons are on tv. Our driveway snowed in. Old man winter. That's right. I fill your driveways with ice and snow. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing. That's what. Stop. Mister. Wow. Get out. You lousy season. All right. I'm going. My head hurts. I have to lie down for a while. Yay. Hello. I'm Mr. Plough. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snow blowers? And the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow? Uh huh. Then call Klondike 53226. Call now and receive a free T shirt. He could still surprise ya. But I'm A real tightwad. Can I afford this remarkable system? Absolutely. My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage. You are full of bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you, Mr. Plow? Shut up, boy. So remember, call Mr. Plow. That's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow. It's the worst song ever. I love that episode more than anything. The name of the snowblower is Mr. Plow, not Hans Snowlow. Yeah, all you dad jokes can go away. It's Mr. Plow. God damn it. I win. I'm sorry, I'm not getting on that. I got off on a tangent on the Mr. Plow contest. And by the way, when you name it, do you get money or anything?

[Brett]

Yeah. What do you get out of this deal?

[John Holmberg]

We gotta start pulling back on this stuff where they act like they're giving us a gift and we're doing the work for someone else.

[Dick Toledo]

Giving the news our videos.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Take your own pictures and we'll use them on the news. I'm like, that's your job.

[Dick Toledo]

No, we fired Len.

[John Holmberg]

We fired all the cameramen. You do it. Well, I got a murder on my phone and they're using it. I didn't get paid for that. You used to pay a guy for. For that.

[Brady Bogan]

We should have people bring their phones in here and play some music for us.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

Why are we doing.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you do this?

[Brett]

There goes Sleepy Snow Biden.

[John Holmberg]

Snow Biden. See, that's coming. See that? Didn't.

[Dick Toledo]

I was waiting. Seven minutes that one took.

[John Holmberg]

We had actually moved on from that conversation and he still leapt in with the dad joke. He could not wait to think.

[Frank Caliendo]

Got it.

[John Holmberg]

Got it. My submission is Sleepy Snow Biden. No. Anyway, it's time for the hot releases. They're upon us right now. And you can get the hot releases delivered right to you in seconds. It's brought to you by our [e-mail]. get on that deal right now and you're gonna save some money. You got money to save immediately. Thousand bucks off if you just throw Holmberg in the promo code. That'll start you $1,000 under zero. And then you build your machine in three easy steps. Get that thing replaced before summer gets here. If you're thinking you're not going to make it through the summer, don't wait till it's too late. Please be smart, proactive. It's a genius thing to do. If it's over 10 or 12 years, you're pushing it. And that's all you got to know. And you knew that last summer. And plus, they're more effective and efficient. Like, your bills will go down because the new units are so much better than the old ones. Check it out. Right now, HOLG is the promo code. Save money off the top and then save thousand, save time. Buy online New AC unit dot com. Who's first?

[Dick Toledo]

Don't have a whole lot, but on Hulu, on. I guess it's tonight, Wednesday night. Paradise on Hulu is a new political thriller starring Sterling K. You have two.

[John Holmberg]

Children, James and Leslie. Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Also created BY this is U.S. director.

[John Holmberg]

When did you see Cal Bradford alive?

[Frank Caliendo]

I walked the president to his room.

[John Holmberg]

When he turned in at 2204. Sterling came around. The president or a guard plays a.

[Dick Toledo]

Secret service agent and involves a murder in an exclusive community. Also stars James Marsden, Juliana Nicholson, and Sarah Shahi.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I like Sarah Shahi. She's on that show called Sex Life and she shows her boobs so much you get tired of them.

[Brady Bogan]

Watch your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

She was the one who boned Tony Soprano in Las Vegas when he was on that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, hell yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that one was.

[Brady Bogan]

She's doing the peyote.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's a special lady to be entrusted with Showtime. I think maybe Netflix. I don't know. You're gonna want to hear this. Well, she gets. She does. Brady's right. She gets after it in that show a lot. I don't know if she still looks the part, but back then.

[Dick Toledo]

This trailer is very slow, but apparently it's got a lot of mystery and a lot of. A lot of twists to it. Okay, Also out on Netflix is season two of Mo Comedian. God damn it. Forgot his name. Name.

[John Holmberg]

The comedian. That's actually Mo himself.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, Mo himself.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know who this is. I forgot his name, too.

[Frank Caliendo]

That I've been waiting for for 20.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a. It's a Mexican.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just come to terms.

[Dick Toledo]

He's. He's Middle Eastern.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're Mexican now.

[John Holmberg]

Police C. No, he's Mexican.

[Dick Toledo]

I just said Matt.

[Brett]

R. That is Matt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So he's Middle Eastern. He's got to cross the border to get back to America. Yeah, this might be funny. Yeah, Or. Or not totally troubling.

[Dick Toledo]

And also on Netflix, season two of the Recruit. This was a decent show. It's a good time.

[Frank Caliendo]

Killer spying.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know this CIA recruit. You got in a bunch of trouble in season one. So.

[John Holmberg]

Is it all karate?

[Dick Toledo]

This is all new. I haven't seen him do karate yet.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks for the assist. Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

So anyway, so that's on Netflix. Last night was the big premiere of the Bachelor. John, are you in on this one?

[John Holmberg]

I've stopped. When they got rid of the original host, it got weirder.

[Dick Toledo]

Grant Ellis is the guy's name.

[John Holmberg]

He's a good looking man. Now he gets to bone 30 ladies and pick one. I feel like the vibe of the group is like we're all kind of on her. No, she's not gonna win. You just know immediately. No beer out. Is this anybody person? Is that a new girl? Wait, a new girl? Hi. She must be. Is that his ex girlfriend? All right, person, why are you here? She means business. She's here for a reason.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, she's going down there.

[John Holmberg]

She's going down on him already. We were making hard eye contact. We definitely were. I was like, hey, holy spill, Grant.

[Frank Caliendo]

For a second.

[John Holmberg]

She's not going to win anyway. She's got wide face out. I cannot compare it to this one. Nope. Let's see. Okay, I am in on that. I gotta see that ex girlfriend be mad if all the other girls got mad because she's so hot.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, this one's for Brady on CNN and the History Channel. The foods that built America.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Can I take your order? I've seen a couple.

[Brett]

Tom Carville.

[John Holmberg]

Tom Carvel breaks down ice cream, gets soft. Hello. Soft serve. That's how soft serve was invented. Truck broke down and it melted. So he sold it for cheap.

[Brett]

Gets a $25,000 investment.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, soft serve is just a little bit melted ice cream. I've been duped that it's just a little bit.

[Dick Toledo]

Was in a machine closer to room.

[John Holmberg]

Temp than it should have been.

[Brady Bogan]

The McDonald's machines, because those never work.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they just give you soup.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I had no idea.

[Dick Toledo]

Out on Hulu and ABC is a new documentary. Mary Scamanda or Scamanda is that was what they call it. Speaker at her church.

[John Holmberg]

What does she do? Loved her. She got diagnosed with cancer. I heard the words, you have stage three blood cancer. We thought she was God's gift. Was she faking?

[Brett]

Oh, yes. Amanda.

[John Holmberg]

Amanda told me she had cancer. I was so devastated. A beloved young, young Christian woman fighting a battle undeserved. We gave our hearts. But she did the chemo or just shaved her head. She put their hands. Oh, God, heal.

[Dick Toledo]

They laid on hands.

[John Holmberg]

I have cancer because I am now surrounded by the right people in my life.

[Dick Toledo]

There was just something inside of me just saying, this isn't right.

[John Holmberg]

She did or didn't have. All of a sudden it went dark. She was a liar. Somebody fake cancer. That's a real sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

Was her business. Business was good.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Dick Toledo]

On prime is a movie starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon called. You're cordially invited.

[John Holmberg]

He wrecks a wedding. Welcome home, cuddlebug.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, dad, who's in the house?

[John Holmberg]

Daddy's in the house. Big papa's in the house. Tell them I'll be there in three minutes. We get it. This is a rom com. Yep.

[Dick Toledo]

Recycled. Apparently I missed this one last Friday. Star Trek section 31 is out on Paramount. Plus somebody wanted me to make sure I got this.

[John Holmberg]

If I haven't seen the first 30 sections, do I. Can I follow you? You've watched this already?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And?

[Brett]

Not good.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right. Whoa. Not even a three star. Hey, everybody. This is a first. If Brady doesn't like something immediately that bad, it's maybe the worst pile of crap ever invented. Yeah. You're not even giving it like the. No, ceremonial.

[Brett]

We tried, you know, I.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

I watched the one series. There's so many different Star Trek series. I'm like, wow. Okay. So I dove into one and it was pretty good. It was the Discovery one.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what you're talking.

[Brett]

There's like four or five seasons.

[Dick Toledo]

So because of that, you decided to do this?

[John Holmberg]

Check out section 31.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What was.

[Brett]

I knew nothing about section 31 and just boring. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna be mad at you.

[Brett]

It's not. Not good.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You just did zero out of five stars. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, this is a first.

[Dick Toledo]

You kind of.

[Brett]

I'll give it a one.

[John Holmberg]

I'll give it a. Don't. Don't you back. You can't do it.

[Dick Toledo]

You can't.

[Brett]

Because I don't. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

The effort. We get it.

[John Holmberg]

One is still zero. There is a zero. You gave it a zero. And then you got nervous that you'd meet Michelle Yeoh. Someday. And then you had to give her.

[Brett]

Now you say that one. Five.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So he can't do it. There is a zero. And it was your face three, though.

[Brady Bogan]

So I mean, that's amazing for him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Unbelievable.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, that's it. We gotta.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. Our next one. Brett, go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

All right. We should be start out here with new music from the helicopters.

[John Holmberg]

O.

[Brady Bogan]

This is Leave a mark.

[John Holmberg]

I like the.

[Dick Toledo]

They've been around a while.

[John Holmberg]

It's gotta have a hook. I don't know if this is 80s 90s retro now 70s kind of became like boring for me. Not bad, though. I like the name A lot. I'll give you more for. How about Pentagram? Man, this is always good. Thunder Crest. Here we go. Oh, yeah. On a low end. Who else would you expect from Pentagram? That's awful. All right, I was Ryan.

[Brady Bogan]

Welcome to play to you a little taste bit.

[John Holmberg]

That was terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

Getting ready for you fest. Here's new stuff from Dorothy.

[John Holmberg]

Dorothy.

[Brady Bogan]

This is Tombstone town.

[John Holmberg]

She's pretty, isn't she? Yeah, she is. Yeah. Dorothy's gonna be at you fest May 3rd with slash. Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Slash.

[John Holmberg]

May or may not appear. Yeah, she's very pretty. Kind of like Dorothy. We get to meet Dorothy.

[Brady Bogan]

How about new stuff from Kill Switch? Engage.

[John Holmberg]

Who's singing?

[Brady Bogan]

Jesse.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, this is. I believe it's Kill Switch. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, I know he was the original lead singer, but I still like Howard.

[John Holmberg]

Me too. Songs a little better. It is what it is. Kill Switch. Very Kill Switch.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, let's. Let's go to this one. How about Tate McRae?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's sliding sports car. She is slutty. She's gonna say a dirty word. Her face is like being masked by how great the rest of her looks and how she shows it off. Right. She's distracting. But then when you look at her like, huh, she got a face off. They stay away from her face because the rest of her is being on. Put on display for a reason.

[Brett]

She's definitely selling the music.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Oh, there's a song. Correct. Don't get too close to her face. And it isn't bad. It's just not.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like a 20 footer.

[John Holmberg]

20 footer? Yeah, it's. She's a 20 footer. I'll even go a little further and say she's a three pointer. In the NBA, we're a 23. 3. And I think the Pussycat Dolls are going to sue her because the song is the exact same.

[Brady Bogan]

So there you go. And we'll just skip that one because we did one from the last.

[John Holmberg]

She's very proud of her body and should be. And then when you start looking deep.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm proud of her body.

[John Holmberg]

20 footer is pretty good. She's from. She's from downtown.

[Brady Bogan]

That'll bring us to the game that is sweeping the nation. NWORD or fw. Today's selection is Ice Cube rolling at Twilight. So this is a new Ice Cube.

[John Holmberg]

Who won? Did I win last? Oh, you won.

[Dick Toledo]

I've got a streak going last week though, right? No, we didn't do it last.

[John Holmberg]

Last week.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Dick Toledo]

Ice Cube. I'm going to go. MFer.

[John Holmberg]

Ooh, Brady angry.

[Brett]

N word.

[John Holmberg]

God, that was. That's pretty much where I wanted to go. I'll just go straight F word then. Let's go. All right, here we go. I'm about to Slide 3. Ride through and don't give a.

[Frank Caliendo]

With some.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. Damn it. Strong, hard F word. The streak is over, Hol. Is that a new one? Yeah, yeah, that's new.

[Brady Bogan]

Cube just came out five days ago.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Oh, that's why.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. Gone. Away from the heavens up on your Brady I've grown. No, he's not. He's not running from that. That's bread and butter. Butter. Whitey's going to have those tun all the way up and skip that word when they sing along if they're smart. There you go, everybody. Those are your hot releases. It's 98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. God, dangle the jingle.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you approve that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't. Did I not only approve it, I've encouraged it wildly. Guys, there's John making fun of the local news for making viewers do the work. Like he hasn't used us for that. Fireside chats, anyone? Please don't bring that back, by the way. Rather hear Toledo on the air or Brady research searching by looking things up. He makes a good. Tom makes a good point. Radio's a little different. They used to have like everyday people getting full on salaries to do camera jobs. Now they don't even have those. You do it. You send us your like they for a while. They're like, you send us a story. I'm like, well, that's the whole point of your job. Our job is to interact with the masses. Theirs isn't. It's to deliver information.

[Dick Toledo]

They try to guilt you into it too. We know there are things that affect your life. Send it to us. Send it to us and we'll research it.

[John Holmberg]

We'll just read over it.

[Brett]

It's like Springer. They used to ask people to send.

[John Holmberg]

In their oh yeah, always be terrible. There's whatever you're doing that's awful. We'll take a look at that. But that was the purpose of his job. Purpose of the news was never to say, why don't you tell us a news story?

[Dick Toledo]

Are you a victim of a pedophilic clown?

[John Holmberg]

Never once should Mark Curtis ever said, what stories do you know like that's not why I'm watching. I don't want the interaction of other people. I want you to tell me what happened.

[Dick Toledo]

Mark probably hates it.

[John Holmberg]

So I've done two stories. Well, you guys just gonna sit there and watch all night? You do a story. That's what we're watching you for anyway. It's time for the entertainment, Joe. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. If you want to get involved in that, the price is simple. Simply the best you can ever find with personal training anywhere. I dare you to beat it. Now you can find prices that are like $3. You can be a member of the gym. You're not getting any personal training. You're on your own. And usually the gym is weird. This place will teach you things you have never even known.

[Dick Toledo]

24 hour key fob gyms.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's one of those just machines. Nobody's there. There's nothing. You're not learning anything. You can get in shape doing whatever you want to do, but why not challenge yourself a little bit with stuff that will keep you interested for a long, long time. And plus it's hands on, on and it's, it's applicable to everyday living. You will walk around with this mentality, this education that they give you. On top of the physical stuff, you're going to get smarter. You're going to be better at being you. That's the best part. And the price is amazing. Two months, 199 bucks. You pop in there, you get everything they've got to offer. How about that roll in there? You know, those New Year's resolutions are probably pretty all worn out. So just start your own life. Start a February resolution and get your life started in a little bit better direction now. Lose some weight, get, get in great shape. Learn a whole bunch about you and the world you live in. It's not paranoia, it's preparation. And it's smart and it's fun. That's the best part. And that price is unbeatable. Reactdefense.com Check out the calendar of all the events they've got, all the classes they offer, and then hop in. It's the home of tactical black Brady entertainment.

[Brett]

Blake Ly's going through it with Justin Baldini. Now there's another person that has stepped out and it's not big Blake Lively fan. It's chef Rossella Rago who worked behind the scenes on Gossip Girl. She said Blake was horrendous to Work with. And she's throwing Justin under the bus because she's used to being adored. She says she would burp and fart in the middle of the set.

[John Holmberg]

That's hot.

[Brett]

Act like we were lucky to be smelling her farts.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that that's just your opinion.

[Brett]

She was very unpleasant to work with. I just don't know how else to say it. I'm going to attest that Blake Lively is horrendous.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brett]

I'm sorry to burst your bubble. She was a nepo baby, and when she was 19, the whole world was blowing smoke up her butt.

[Dick Toledo]

She's a nepo baby.

[John Holmberg]

Who's her parents?

[Brett]

Yeah, I guess her dad was in show business, a director and actor. Her brother is an actor.

[John Holmberg]

He is. And if you haven't heard of him, it's not helping. Yeah.

[Brett]

You know, her mom was an agent.

[John Holmberg]

That's something. Maybe that's a thing. But this has to be the most controversy of news over a movie no one's seen ever. Like, no one cares to see. It hasn't piqued anybody's curiosity to say, what's this movie? You know, it's not drummed up fake publicity for a movie because they're not doing anything to make you want to see it more. It's like, oh, well, you know, after.

[Brett]

Seeing what happened yesterday, they're asking Baldini. You know, it's in court. So now they have to. Blake and Ryan have to give their. Their text messages to the court.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brett]

So it'll be like a. Amber heard.

[John Holmberg]

Johnny Depp, he's been totally releasing him.

[Brett]

Back, back and forth about.

[John Holmberg]

Well, in the one he released, which was a video memo or a audio memo that he sent to her, it was a big, long apology. And at the end, he said, I've been bothering the whole time he got killed. Kids all over. You probably have one of them hanging off your boob right now, feeding it. And in court, that'll play real ugly.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But once, evidently, there was a joke that was running around that somebody walked in on her breastfeeding. So you can't have jokes anymore. When you get. But, I mean, they're like, that leads to the sexual harassment toxicity of the. I'm like, does it? Or is it just. Can we pull the stick out of her ass and realize maybe the guy just told a joke he didn't like and you weren't there, so it didn't matter. Matter. This is again, this movie. What's it called? Just the One of Us or something. It Starts with us.

[Dick Toledo]

It ends with us.

[John Holmberg]

It ends with us.

[Brett]

With us.

[John Holmberg]

No one's seen it, and so no.

[Brady Bogan]

One don't care to see it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they keep trying to drum up this thing that Blake Lively and this guy are in a fight and no one cares. Like, it's not even that interesting until someone takes it. We've learned this about America. Until someone takes a. On someone else's bed. We're not getting involved in any more of these dramas. But when Amber Heard pooped on Johnny Depp's bed and it became court fodder. And then Paul Bettany, who I didn't even know was friends with Johnny Depp, with talking about burning her to a crisp and then raping the corpse. Now you got something. Now you're. Now you're like, what's going on in the depth trial?

[Brady Bogan]

This one and him just being cool. Yes, I did.

[John Holmberg]

I did. Did you say you would rape the corpse after you burned it? Yes, I did. God damn it. The jury finds you cool. Guilty is charged.

[Brett]

Amy Schumer and Madonna went to the Comedy Cellar in New York.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't need any more than that.

[Brett]

Amy introduced Madonna. Madonna did 30 minutes stand up.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brett]

Yeah. Could we be seeing more?

[John Holmberg]

I'd watch that to see what that's about.

[Dick Toledo]

Just to clarify. So, you know, the budget of that film was 25 million. It's made 351 million worldwide.

[John Holmberg]

It's done well.

[Dick Toledo]

So.

[John Holmberg]

But nobody.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I agree.

[Frank Caliendo]

Nobody, Norma.

[Dick Toledo]

But how does. How does it get those kind of numbers when nobody I know has watched it either.

[John Holmberg]

It's worldwide, so, I mean, you get a lot of, like, art house people everywhere. New York saw it. Yeah, like, art house people saw it. Okay. And the budget was 25. 350 million. Isn't that great big anymore. It's good, but it's, you know, for.

[Brett]

A $25 million budget for the budget.

[Dick Toledo]

Doubled its budget on opening weekend and made 50 million.

[John Holmberg]

And it did really well. And it's supposed to be good, but nobody cares because I. I don't think a lot of people care or know who Blake Lively is outside of being Ryan Reynolds. Wow.

[Dick Toledo]

It's women and women that watch Gossip Girl. Like my wife.

[John Holmberg]

So that could be just Gossip Girl thing. Yeah.

[Brett]

The guy who played lurch in the 90s. Addams Family.

[John Holmberg]

Ted Striken. Wait. Oh, in the movies.

[Brett]

In the movies.

[John Holmberg]

TV show.

[Brett]

He lost everything in the fire in la, his home. So he's asking for clothes to be donated.

[John Holmberg]

He's 7ft, 11ft tall.

[Brett]

So someone from the NBA needs to.

[John Holmberg]

Just call Kareem and get half his cloth. Call Shaq. Yeah. I don't think he wants Shaq's clothes. Oh, Jesus. That's a picture of him now.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like gigantic chemo me.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, he does.

[Brady Bogan]

He'd literally have zero in that.

[John Holmberg]

Room of a thousand broads.

[Dick Toledo]

Room of a thousand broads. Seven foot four.

[John Holmberg]

No, Seven foot four. Everyone would run. Done.

[Brett]

Roseanne's working on a new show.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like Snape Snow. Snape Snopes. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

From Harry Potter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Roseanne says her new show is a cross between the original Roseanne show and the Sopranos. It's about a small town. A small town farmer in Alabama who dabbles in growing and selling marijuana and magic mushrooms. She and her family are all saving the United States from drug gangs and China.

[John Holmberg]

That totally adds up. She says it's silly and out there it's the Rosanna.

[Brett]

It's very offensive. The ideas on it. There'll be a lot of swearing. They save America with guns. The Bible and petty crime and alcoholism on Fox News.

[John Holmberg]

It's not bad.

[Brett]

It's kind of like a Coen brothers thing. Doesn't have a home yet. If Hollywood doesn't buy it, I'm just gonna make it myself.

[John Holmberg]

So she's written it all by herself and done this from the type comedy though, Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

She got that much Roseanne money?

[John Holmberg]

She's loaded. You think she's got a ton of money? Yeah.

[Brett]

Then someone did a study on ban t shirts to see the most valuable shirts.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Not the. Not the band. V E A N N E D. Yeah. Like rock band.

[Brett]

The faded shirts that you have.

[John Holmberg]

Gotcha.

[Brett]

From the 90s.

[John Holmberg]

90S.

[Brett]

The top earner.

[Brady Bogan]

Iron Maiden, Metallica, Nirvana.

[Brett]

Metallica's up there. But Nirvana averages $279 if it's an OG concert. Yeah. Yep. Red Hot Chili Peppers were 2. Really 241 bucks. Earth, Wind and Fire 3.

[Brady Bogan]

Never seen one of those.

[Dick Toledo]

Because he bought them all.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say there's an Earth, Wind and fire concert shirt. I guess we gotta go to the. Boom. Kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

That man.

[Brett]

Outcast 4. 225. Guns N'Roses Green Day, Paul McCartney.

[John Holmberg]

Any specific tour? Because it can't. Because. No.

[Brett]

Well, basically anything. If you have anything from the 90s. But even now, the 2000, early 2000s.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe because they didn't do that many shows.

[John Holmberg]

It was like 2000.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

So it's maybe the.

[Brett]

The rare possibility the most expensive Grateful Dead has the highest Valued shirt.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck.

[Brett]

It sells for 2,750 bucks. It's from 1994.

[Brady Bogan]

Weed is a hell of a drug.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Dick Toledo]

That's a Touch of Gray tour, isn't it? Isn't that Touch of Gray? Maybe that's. I would have to for a touch of gray.

[Brett]

Yeah. And then it's followed by a long sleeve nirvana shirt. That $2,000 dollars in utero tour Bjork sold one for 18.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not again. If you bought a Bjork shirt, it's rare.

[Brett]

Hang on to your Benny Mardonis.

[John Holmberg]

Although that's a copy.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, I never sell it.

[Brett]

Get in an original.

[John Holmberg]

It's got the lyrics on the front. The shirt says she's just 16 years old. To start the shirt and then just plasters Benny's name over the lyrics. One of my favorite shirts I have.

[Brett]

And that stash right now.

[John Holmberg]

Now. Oh man, I gotta start wearing that a lot. You're right. That's going on tomorrow. That's tomorrow. I might wear that tonight. My Benny Mardona's with my porn stache.

[Brady Bogan]

And we'll be off the next day because you'll be arrested.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, good story. It's a good story. That's it for us. It's 10:12. Larry's coming up next. Tonight we're heading over to Four Peaks for the release. The fi. The official super release release of the glorious Homburg Bound. The beer that is waiting on you is tonight over there at Four Peaks and Tempe. Six to eight o'clock. We'll be out there. And it's all for our friends at the Humane Society who will also be out there. So every time you take a sip, you're actually feeding a puppy or a cat or something that the Humane Society needs. You're helping out every time you get a pint there. And they're available on tap and now in the bottles if you order. There's still some bottles left as I was emailed this morning. You can go to 98kupd.and get your six pack there. Hop in on that deal and we'll see you tonight when you come pick them up. That's it for us. Larry's coming up next. Have yourselves a great Tuesday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.