01-28-26 - BR - WED - John's Strawberry/Nose Pore Comparison Reveals Brady Once Paid To Pick His Own Strawberries In Carlsbad - Heinz Offering A 10lb Keg Of Ketchup

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Episode Summary

01-28-26 – "John's Strawberry/Nose Pore Comparison, Brady's Paid Manual Labor, and the Ketchup Keg"

Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Holmberg and his crew riff on an array of topics—anchored by an unexpected and hilarious exploration into the awkward similarities between strawberries and nose pores. The show takes a deep dive into Brady’s confounding choice to pay for a “pick-your-own-strawberry” experience, much to the bemusement (and ridicule) of everyone else at the table. Other talking points include music snobbery, American vacation quirks, Super Bowl promotions, and some truly bizarre viral videos. As always, the tone is raw, sarcastic, and full of witty banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Green Day, "Punk Rock," and Music Snobbery

• Banter over Green Day's Credibility and Annoyance
  • [01:21–02:11] Brady, John, and Brett riff on their divided opinions about Green Day.
  • Brett firmly objects to their music:
    • “You’re not punk rock if your album becomes a Broadway play.” – Brett Vesely [02:09]
  • Brady retorts about separating artists’ personalities from art, but the consensus is: Green Day is annoying.

2. Strawberries & Bizarre Comparisons

• Strawberry/Nose Pore Analogy
  • [03:03–03:41] John compares eating a strawberry to biting into a “homeless man’s giant alcoholic, blackhead filled nose,” sparking disgust and laughter.
  • “Put yourself... empathetic to me. My brain came up with that.” – John [03:30]
• No One Argues the Gross Point
  • John notes no one ever really disagrees, just that they hadn't considered it.

3. Brady’s "Migrant Work" Family Vacation

• Paying to Pick Strawberries
  • [04:17–05:56] Brady describes paying to pick strawberries in Carlsbad/San Diego as a fun family activity. The group mercilessly teases him for voluntarily doing (and paying for) manual labor:
    • "Worst vacation idea I’ve ever heard in my life.” – John [04:43]
    • “We get to do what the migrants do.” – Brady paraphrasing [07:50]
  • Jim Manley jokes: “If we go to the Best Western and give them 20 bucks, we get to clean some rooms.” [04:48]
• Cost and Value Debate
  • [05:27–07:02] The gang hounds Brady about paying more than store prices and compares it to other manual labor "vacation" scenarios.
  • “You paid more to do the work.” – John [06:52]
  • “That is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever told me.” – John [06:19]
• Comparisons to Other “Fun” Manual Jobs
  • “You paid to do the job of a garbage man once, too.” – John [07:07 & 23:07]

4. Vacations Gone Wrong & Self-Awareness

• Learning Experiences?
  • Brady maintains it was a "good lesson" for his daughter and defends the experience:
    • “It was a fun family activity.” – Brady [16:49]
  • Others argue there are better (and cheaper) ways to enjoy vacations:
    • “Don't do labor. That's the opposite of vacation.” – John [24:05]
  • “Legoland's $80. This was $12.95. Pretend the strawberries are Legos.” – Jim Manley [22:49]
• Reflection
  • John continually asks if Brady realizes how silly it was:
    • “Has it dawned on you?” – Repeated throughout [18:55, 23:51]

5. Heinz 10lb Keg of Ketchup & Absurd Promotions

• [32:32–34:17]
  • Heinz offers a 10lb keg of ketchup for Super Bowl; the group jokes about the uselessness of such a thing.
  • “If you register for this, kill yourself.” – John [33:12]
  • “That's too much ketchup for... And five people are gonna be like, ‘I won!’ and then they're gonna get a keg of ketchup. And you're like, ‘This is terrible!’” – Brady [39:08]
  • Even stadium concessions don’t go through that much ketchup in two weeks, according to one listener [39:01].

6. Wild Videos & WTF Moments

• Fraternity Hazing
  • [40:50–43:16] Descriptions of intense and sometimes disgusting fraternity hazing rituals, including vomiting, eating weird things, and sleep deprivation.
  • “You gotta pay to be in a frat.” – Brett Vesely [43:11]
• Arcade Fight Video
  • [44:10–45:26] A woman gets slammed, then tased, in the middle of a kid's arcade—a scene they joke could only happen where the police are always ready.
• Strange Inventions
  • [48:03–48:27] Stationary bike/dildo contraption, foot-feeding spaghetti, and a tiny man in flagrante with a full-sized woman—all “radio videos” of the day.

7. Miscellaneous Banter & News

• Fun Facts & Polls
  • [26:11–27:39] "Florence Nightingale was named after the city," "Les Claypool almost joined Metallica," and polls rating 2025 as a 5.3/10.
• Economy, Pay Raises, and Conversation Candies
  • [29:05–32:01] Jokes about "peanut butter raises" (even pay distribution), snark about new candy heart messages.
• Listener Emails
  • Several listeners weigh in throughout, some defending picking fruit as better-tasting, but hosts point out those people didn’t pay for the privilege.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Strawberries and Nose Pores:
  • “Nobody’s ever argued my point that biting a strawberry is the same as biting a homeless man's giant alcoholic, blackhead-filled nose.” – John [03:20]
  • “You paid more to do the work.” – Brett Vesely [06:52]
• On Manual Labor Vacations:
  • “If we go to the Best Western and give them 20 bucks, we get to clean some rooms.” – Jim Manley [04:48]
  • “That's the opposite of vacation, is work.” – John [24:05]
• On Super Bowl Ketchup Keg:
  • “If you register for this, kill yourself.” – John [33:12]
• On Oddity of Paid Experiences:
  • “You lived a day as a migrant worker for 12.95.” – John [20:08]
• On Fraternity Hazing:
  • “You gotta pay to be in a frat.” – Brett Vesely [43:11]
• On Self-Awareness:
  • “Has it dawned on you?” – John [18:55, 23:51]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:21–02:11: Green Day debate and punk rock snobbery
• 03:03–04:08: John’s strawberry/nose pore comparison goes viral within the studio
• 04:17–07:00: Brady details the strawberry-picking vacation—major roast session
• 09:11–10:58: More music elitism, including anti-Linkin Park sentiment
• 13:39–14:45: More ribbing about manual labor “vacations”
• 16:00–20:13: Deep dive into Brady’s logic/unlogic with family strawberry picking
• 32:32–34:17: Discussion of Heinz’s 10-pound ketchup keg
• 40:50–43:16: Fraternity hazing—absurd, gross, and expensive to join
• 44:10–45:26: Arcade brawl and instant tasing video review
• 46:10–46:56: International Double Dutch (jump rope) championship video
• 48:03–48:27: The stationary bike-dildo hybrid video takes the crew aback

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Tone, Humor, and Flow

The hosts keep a conversational, free-roaming rhythm—mocking one another relentlessly, dabbling in self-awareness, and breaking up stories with listener input and pop culture references. The tone is raw (sometimes coarse), always quick-witted, and designed to entertain through surprise connections and irreverent analogies.

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For New Listeners

While the show is packed with inside jokes and call-backs, the chemistry of the crew makes the banter hilarious and approachable. The main through-lines—Brady’s paid labor adventures and John’s uncanny gross-out comparisons—form a riotous “everyman” exploration of why we sometimes pay for things we don’t actually want, all set against a backdrop of sarcastic pop culture commentary.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesli]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John]

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[Brett Vesli]

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[Podcast Announcer]

Sickness.

[Brady]

The old method of treatment for a.

[Podcast Announcer]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Brady]

That's funny. I was asking Brett, like, Green Day, even Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I'm singing along. I'm enjoying it. I like it. I'm not a huge Green Day fan.

[Brett Vesli]

But I've done both C word the whole time.

[Brady]

I know. And I turn to Brett and I say, even the good songs, Brett. Even the, like, this one's a good one. Shaking his head and like, no, you can't even get past. We asked him why I love the last comment, and he says, because they're idiots. Or douchebag. Well, that, that. Beyond that.

[Brett Vesli]

But.

[Brady]

But before that, he says, oh, they're. They're annoying idiots. And I'm like, well, if being an idiot affected your record collection, you'd have less records.

[Brett Vesli]

That's not what I said. We can't say what I said.

[Brady]

No, that's true.

[Brett Vesli]

But replace it with a C and.

[Brady]

A couple different C words. All right. But then you said you're not punk rock if your album becomes a Broadway play.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then you call them C words.

[Brett Vesli]

Right A couple times. There's a couple more beeps, but yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

The nicest man in the world, Jim Manley, texted and said, all right, it's impossible to eat my breakfast this morning between your strawberry homeless man nose comp. And then the Belichick fingers. And then went back to the very first break of the show where I feel like if something says person has notifications silenced, I assume that's just for me. And then it says, jim has notifications silenced. And I'm like, did you just silence me? And he goes, no, but I did have to shut the show off to finish breakfast. I'm not going to talk about Belichick's Captain Hook anymore. But deep down, we all know it's happening. You just hate when reality shows up uninvited. Reality's a dick. That's a great T shirt. Reality's a dick. Boy, is it because it shows up uninvited.

[Kirby]

Press them already.

[Brady]

Yep. Sorry about that. I just have a thing for strawberries, and I've told people that. And it. You know what? And the reason I know I'm right about it is because everybody goes, oh, come on. Because it. They don't go, no, it. It's nothing like that. No one's ever argued my point that biting a strawberry is the same as biting a homeless man's giant alcoholic, blackhead filled note. It's the same. And nobody's ever going, oh, that's not. You just never thought about it and think about me. Put yourself. Be empathetic to me. My brain came up with that. That's not like, that's the world I live in that I. That I thought of that.

[Brett Vesli]

How do you come up with strawberries in WC Fields nose?

[Jim Manley]

Because they look the same.

[Kirby]

His nose is delicious.

[Brady]

You take a bite of that and that's burst of flavor comes out. Close your eyes and eat a strawberry and tell me I'm wrong.

[Kirby]

Nobody who likes to discourage me. I mean, it's gonna have a ton of strawberries, but I like them.

[Brady]

You're an outlier. I think if you found a strawberry, take it to the next level and.

[Kirby]

Go to San Diego and go to that. You pick up field.

[Brady]

Oh, you're picking up homeless guys.

[Kirby]

Oh, the strawberries that are overriped and.

[Brady]

I don't know what that means.

[Kirby]

Juicy noses.

[Brady]

That's what you do in San Diego. You go to. We did it one time do manual labor.

[Kirby]

Kirby was young.

[Brady]

Why?

[Kirby]

It's fun.

[Brady]

I mean, up until like a month from now, we got people for that. It isn't you took your daughter. There's beaches in, like, SeaWorld.

[Kirby]

It's right near. There's one real close to Legoland.

[Brady]

You guys went and did migrant work?

[Kirby]

Yeah. For.

[Brady]

Why?

[Kirby]

It's a good lesson.

[Brady]

You paid for it, didn't you?

[Kirby]

Oh, yeah, You.

[Brady]

Worst vacation idea I've ever heard in my life.

[Brett Vesli]

I wanted to see what it show Kirby what it was like to not live in Gilbert.

[Jim Manley]

Hey, if we go to the Best Western and give them 20 bucks, we get to clean some rooms.

[Kirby]

If they had that option, I would have for sure done that.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm positive. That's a great vacation spot. Hey, do you want to help us pick strawberries? Yeah, my whole family does.

[Kirby]

When I was growing up.

[Brady]

Did you want to give us $20 for that?

[Jim Manley]

Oh, that's it. What a deal.

[Brady]

You can keep the strawberries.

[Jim Manley]

Oh, my gosh. And for $20, I get strawberries. I can't go to the store and get them for four. You pick them?

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

How much was it?

[Kirby]

What? You know, I don't know, like, 10 bucks.

[Brady]

To go pick strawberries?

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They're at the store for cheaper.

[Kirby]

You can pick out your own gems.

[Brady]

You can do that. When I was a lot of Costco.

[Kirby]

Too, when my grandfather retired down in Florida, we would go pick oranges and grapefruits.

[Brady]

Well, sir, would you paid to do it? Yeah. Why?

[Kirby]

They have it probably down here?

[Brady]

No, we drive through doing them a favor. My house, we put. There's a bucket.

[Kirby]

I know. Well, now there's so many in the yards, but there used to be, you know, you'd go to the orchard.

[Brady]

How much was. How much did you pay the strawberry pickers to pick to do their jobs. That's reasonable. If it's more than four bucks, basically.

[Kirby]

Say it. You know, it's like 12.95 for. I don't know. You know, take as many strawberries as.

[Brady]

You need at Trader Joe's for six.

[Kirby]

Bucks, and then you never finish them in your hotel room. You got a giant basket.

[Brady]

That is the stupidest thing anyone's ever told me.

[Brett Vesli]

Brady just talked me out of ever going on vacation with him.

[Brady]

Poor Caitlin was abducted by Brady last summer and then forced to do migrant work.

[Kirby]

Well, hers was different. She had to make shoes for a day.

[Brady]

I don't understand that. Like, I go. You paid someone to go pick something that's readily available for much cheaper at a store because you didn't get, like.

[Kirby]

No, it's cheaper than the store.

[Brady]

No, it's not. 12.95 for strawberries.

[Kirby]

Somehow it works out to be.

[Brady]

No.

[Kirby]

You're telling them you're cutting out the middleman.

[Brady]

You paid more to do the work.

[Jim Manley]

Then you could have just gone to.

[Kirby]

Trader Joe's and it was the tail end of the season.

[Brady]

You had to really get in there because they were running out and they.

[Brett Vesli]

Had to get rid of them.

[Brady]

Yeah, they had to. They were the bad ones. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah.

[Kirby]

It's like going to the pumpkin patch.

[Brady]

Yeah. This guy says Brady's made bad decisions since I've listened to this show about strawberries. That's a terrible one. Remember when he would give his mom sexy chocolate covered strawberry? Yeah, that's. Yeah, that was weird, too. You knew about that, right?

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Every year he used to send.

[Brett Vesli]

We just talked about it the other day.

[Brady]

Like, Mother's Day. Mom's dirty.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, I thought it was Valentine's Day.

[Brady]

Oh, it was Mother's Day. I think it was Valentine's Day, too.

[Kirby]

Yeah, but it was mostly Mother's Day on that one. But they're available.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That is a sexy. And some lingerie. Send over some lingerie. Strawberry panties, Mom. Sure, why not? If it's strawberries, Brady will make a bad show.

[Kirby]

Nice setup.

[Brady]

This one says slaves would be rolling in their graves. They do the same thing at local farms. And I've never felt more white. Well, we get to do what the migrants do. There's a gem. Kerbert herbs. Hey, man, we could have gotten these at the Trader Joe's.

[Kirby]

Dad, it's gonna surprise you. It didn't become a tradition going to San Diego. No.

[Brady]

I don't even know how you found it.

[Kirby]

It's right there on the field. And the Legoland, right off the highway.

[Brady]

It's close to Legoland. And you chose strawberry picking?

[Kirby]

Well, we went to both, but this was. You want to get some strawberries?

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

She thought you meant at the store.

[Kirby]

No. Yeah.

[Brady]

Everybody would if you said, you want to get some burgers. I'm not. And you pulled up at the slaughterhouse and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Kirby]

It was a good. You know, she's crying the whole time. Good lesson.

[Brady]

Keep picking. My back.

[Jim Manley]

Stay bent down like this.

[Kirby]

Use your legs.

[Brady]

That is weird. This guy says, if you play, I'm with Brett. You play Green Day. I'm done listening for the whole day. It destroys your day.

[Kirby]

See?

[Brady]

Your green Day. And then Christopher says the whiny, crybaby C word. Sea suckers. Like, you're famous. Get the F over it. Be A man. I can't effing stand. Green Day, man.

[Brett Vesli]

See?

[Brady]

Same with Linkin Park. At least he had the decency to die. What is going on out there? Guys are jerks. Oh, my gosh. All right, I'm gonna leave it up to Brady to make more bad choices. Sorry about the strawberry thing. Coconut's no different, but.

[Kirby]

Won'T ever do that one.

[Brady]

Yeah, man.

[Kirby]

Pick your own coconuts.

[Brady]

Yeah. If you.

[Kirby]

If you.

[Jim Manley]

Hey, Kirby.

[Brady]

Hoofing up trees with some Tongan underneath hitting you in the ass. Yeah. Manly says you're solely responsible for the reduction in Arizona strawberry sales. Look, it's not my fault. That's what they are. Like, think of me, Jim. My brain came up with that. That's what my brain does to me. That's why you go to therapy. My brain does that.

[Brett Vesli]

This guy said, it's also your brain that thinks about your dad's noises the same as yours when having sex.

[Geico Representative]

Right?

[Jim Manley]

This isn't fair.

[Brady]

Like, I'm living a different life than you guys. I can't listen to REO Speedwagon and not think of my mom singing it. And then she's thinking, like, the whole time she's singing it, she's like, oh, I need some of that Dan dick. Like, I have to know that that's right behind. And it was. And all I needed to do was go out and play, and that was what was gonna happen.

[Jim Manley]

I can't fight this feeling anymore.

[Brady]

Yuck. That's my brain. You live with it for a day. It's miserable up here. Bite into a strawberry and the first thing your brain goes, ugh. It's like a homeless man's nose. Like, why did you do. You know? Couldn't eat guacamole for years because I. It tasted like a dirty sock, wet sock to me. Like, I don't know what a dirty, wet sock tastes like, but that's what I assumed it would, and I couldn't do it.

[Kirby]

Ryan Alexander says, don't worry about John. He's not bought groceries a day in his life. He has no idea what a bunch of strawberries at Costco costs.

[Brady]

I wouldn't go to Costco. I need like 4,000.

[Brett Vesli]

I did yesterday. They're 5.99 for a two pound pack.

[Kirby]

Brett knows.

[Brady]

First off, I'm not ordering strawberries when I doordash my groc. Second, even with the extra charge, it's not 12.95.

[Kirby]

Are you discouraged from eating them now?

[Brady]

And hold on a second. Ryan Alexander. Why do you think I haven't Gone grocery shopping in my life. He knows I don't wear this chocolate Chavez. But you still have to eat. What do you think? I'm just. You're incredibly.

[Kirby]

You get them delivered. Yes.

[Brady]

There's people for that for now. Till ICE takes care of it. But now it's awesome. You get a little charge on the end there. And their groceries just sitting on your porch.

[Brett Vesli]

Brady was just kind of doing a preemptive thing just in case ICE strikes in the area.

[Brady]

He's doing a bath.

[Jim Manley]

That ice things got me nervous. For my strawberry volume. We're gonna fill the freezer.

[Brady]

Herb and herbs.

[Jim Manley]

We're going to San Diego.

[Brady]

Into the beach?

[Kirby]

Man.

[Jim Manley]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Eventually we'll get there.

[Jim Manley]

We have to earn our keep up.

[Kirby]

And when we go to the beach. She has to pick up trash for two hours.

[Brady]

Why wouldn't you? And you gotta pay the local city.

[Jim Manley]

We'd take your turn. $30 to pick up some trash.

[John]

Are you the guy that brings that treasure finder to the beach?

[Kirby]

No. But I will.

[Brady]

Did it just. Yeah. Did it just dawn on you today though that you paid and they laughed like they should have paid you? Like minimum. Yeah, like minimum. Minimum wage. Like migrant worker. $50 an hour kind of stuff.

[Kirby]

But how about that? But they don't. They're not keeping. I. I'm keeping what you keep what you pick. Okay.

[Brady]

And he's still doing them. A human for it.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They're short a few Mexicans that day. And then you gotta do it once.

[Brett Vesli]

But Chris Valenzuela's couldn't make it that day.

[Brady]

So you gotta do it once. No. Yeah.

[Podcast Announcer]

Don't get something. Something. Check out homework's Morning Sickness [e-mail] FanDuel's.

[Brett Vesli]

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[Jim Manley]

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[Brett Vesli]

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[Brady]

July 2024 to June 2025.

[Podcast Announcer]

Holmberg's Morning.

[Brady]

I'm going to make it through my whole life never being in a field of Mexicans picking strawberries. I guarantee it.

[Kirby]

There weren't.

[Brady]

Of course there weren't. The white people wouldn't have shown up.

[Kirby]

They were sitting.

[Brady]

It's a scam.

[Kirby]

Laughing.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a scam. They pay us to do it.

[Jim Manley]

This is great.

[Brady]

You talk to those Mexicans that do that stuff and they're like, oh my spine is like inverted C. I'm broken.

[Jim Manley]

I'll do it.

[Geico Representative]

See, he's stupid.

[Brady]

See that lady that's shaped like a table because she's been hunched over strawberry fields her whole life and you're over there giving 1299 toughest one's potatoes.

[John]

Did they give you that little stool with the wheels that goes between down the road?

[Brady]

No. Did you hear Andalay?

[Brett Vesli]

That was extra. He wasn't paying for that.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Was there an andelay involved? And a whistle made. You have to stop.

[Kirby]

Extra.

[John]

He draws the line at $13 a pound.

[Kirby]

Is I asked, can I get a break for water? Can I get water boss? No going to the bathroom boss.

[Brett Vesli]

Right where you're standing.

[John]

Right down the leg.

[Brady]

Tyrus emails. He says good morning. You haven't had a good strawberry until you've been to Costa Rica and bought a bag on the side of the road. You have lost me.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

From a Costa Rican man by a strawberry field. Largest strawberries I've ever seen. Big as an apple. $2 for a bag of 40. Brady will pay $12.95 to get them.

[Jim Manley]

I'll do all the Work, too.

[John]

Come on, Juan, let me give you some money.

[Kirby]

Tell me amigo.

[Brady]

That's you, amigo. Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

You try to fit right in.

[Brady]

You get Rick from Geico going. He doesn't need that. He doesn't need to be called amigo. Remember, you don't work here, you don't work here. Yeah, exactly. You're that guy. Why are you picking strawberries? Gave him 12 bucks. Nice man. Told me I could keep.

[Kirby]

I wouldn't eat that one.

[Brady]

Of course you can keep what you just bought. $12 in strawberries. You could do that at the store.

[Brett Vesli]

This guy's wanted him to do it, too.

[Brady]

Oh, God, that does seem like a wife.

[Jim Manley]

Pull over. We're gonna pick strawberries like Mexicans. We're so diverse.

[Kirby]

It was a fun family activity.

[Brady]

It's Carl's bad. Not San Diego. My first ex wife.

[Kirby]

Well, isn't that part of San Diego?

[Brady]

No, it's way new. It's close to San Diego. Yeah, it says my first ex wife wanted to go pick them and that's why she's an ex.

[John]

Cody.

[Brady]

Yeah, that would have been a deal breaker, too.

[Jim Manley]

Let's do as the migrants do. And we paid a guy 45 bucks to crawl on our bellies under some barbed wire and get into a new county.

[Brady]

That's dumb. You pass. So many great stores in California full of strawberries. Ralph's all loads of them.

[John]

I hate to admit it, but we did that after Legoland. The strawberries were excellent. Now I realize they also had avocado fields, too.

[Brady]

Sure. Two guys want to help us over here. How much? What do you mean? Oh, you'll pay me? Well, yeah, it's a service you're offering to keep avocados.

[Kirby]

Got a friend over there in. Outside of Carlsbad that has a avocado. Yeah.

[John]

How much do you pay for it there?

[Kirby]

Because his wife built a tea house. And people book. They have tea parties there, you know.

[Brady]

Real quick, high tea and stuff.

[John]

Strawberries and avocado.

[Kirby]

And he had. He grew. He had the largest bamboo, which is 25 acres.

[Brady]

That's nice. You go pick that.

[Kirby]

And he sells all these exotic plants that he has on his farm.

[Brady]

Brady, you give me $30, I'll let you wear my panda outfit. You go play in the bamboo.

[Jim Manley]

That sounds great.

[Brady]

And then they just laugh. What a jackass.

[John]

But don't eat it.

[Brady]

Don't eat it. Just pretend. Pretend you're a panda with the bamboo. All right, Said it before.

[Brett Vesli]

I'll say it again. I'm not going on vacation.

[Brady]

With Brady ever. You're right.

[Kirby]

You're missing out.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, I can tell. You're missing out on two things. Diarrhea in El Centro because he'll eat there is 100. The progressive. You are that guy. Remember?

[John]

You don't work here.

[Brady]

Yeah, you don't work here.

[Kirby]

But the guy. I want to go over here in this aisle over here. There's some good strawberries.

[Jim Manley]

I gave him a sawbuck to do some migrant work.

[Brady]

Why? Do you realize how dumb it is now? Has it dawned on you?

[Kirby]

Like I said, we.

[Brady]

No, no, no.

[Kirby]

We did it one time.

[Brady]

I know. Do you realize how dumb it is now? Because you've had rose colored glasses on, thinking it was a family adventure. Now you're like, oh, wait, that was stupid. Like, I could have just picked up strawberries.

[John]

So how long was it?

[Brady]

And then it was done.

[John]

How many times since then said, hey, we should do that again.

[Brady]

You're telling me. Legolands right next to. There's no Trader Joe's or Whole Foods. Delicious Star. There's one right there. Of course there is. And you know what? It's worth the extra three bucks not to pick them. But that's why we love you, Brady. It just. You get through somehow. We don't know. Eventually it's going to all come out.

[Kirby]

I've paid to go fishing too, before.

[Brady]

Where? In a lake?

[Kirby]

Deep sea fishing.

[Brett Vesli]

That's something different.

[Brady]

You don't have to do that, you know. That's not migrant. No, no, no.

[Brett Vesli]

Hold on. To go out there and get it.

[Brady]

No, hold on. Time out. Was this, like, in Maine? Were you like a Gloucester fisherman with nets and like. Okay, that's different. And in Florida, that's called an excursion. What you did was.

[Kirby]

We went on a strawberry excursion.

[Brady]

You know, you went on a migrant. You. You live a day as a migrant worker for 1290.

[Kirby]

More fun. Yeah, it was.

[Brady]

Because it's a fun event. That's a sport. What you did was migrant work. People fight to not do it. You paid for it.

[Brett Vesli]

Was the song playing in the background already for you?

[Kirby]

No, it wasn't. But you can't help but sing it.

[Brady]

There's a guy in the back in the chair. Go. The widow seated up when we play the Beatles. These idiots. You guys are doing great. Keep it up.

[John]

That's how they reel them in.

[Kirby]

You play that on.

[Brady]

Hey, Andy Reid. I'm not Andy Reid. Andy Reid, your time is about off. You give me another $12.95, I'll let you pick some more.

[Jim Manley]

Ooh, let me get in my pockets.

[Realtor.com Announcer]

Sorry.

[John]

You would double charge.

[Jim Manley]

I didn't know I'd spent so much.

[Brady]

Yeah, you got 10 minutes out there. You get what you get. It's like one of those tanks that shoots money. You catch as much, but you got a time limit.

[John]

I only got a pound.

[Brady]

Why should you?

[Kirby]

Didn't go with Brothers Johnson. That one too. You sing that one.

[Brett Vesli]

I want to see Brady sing this at night. Singing Dead.

[Brady]

Yeah. Bent over.

[Kirby]

Yes. Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

In the outfit with the sombrero on.

[Brady]

Dude, look at these dump weddles.

[Kirby]

Keep hundreds of gringos out there picking strawberries.

[Brady]

You keep it up, guero, we're going to keep you on the staff.

[Jim Manley]

I'm doing good work. The foreman says I'm excellent.

[Brady]

Another 12.95, I make Joe a foreman.

[Jim Manley]

You kidding me? I can get a promotion.

[Brady]

Chats like Scientology do Give me more. I give two more.

[John]

Dexter says.

[Brady]

All right.

[John]

Brett, I gotta ask. Between the vacations of the show, would you rather go with Brady or Toledo?

[Brady]

I'm starting to lean.

[Brett Vesli]

Tough one.

[Brady]

I think I'd rather blow a lady boy than migrant work with Brady. That's not a vacation. Do you know what? I've never heard a Mexican migrant worker go. It's like living a drink. I'm on vacation every day. 1215 hours of strawberry picking for a dollar.

[John]

15 hours?

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

My grandmother's spine is a curve. It's like a 90 degrees.

[Kirby]

I never hunt her day at Legoland. Feed strawberries. Then we go to Legoland.

[Brady]

She goes to Legoland just to get those scoliosis bars. Like, could you Lego me a new spine?

[John]

It's like Juan says, I never hit snooze. I'm up before my alarm every day.

[Brady]

Look at the Wero's family.

[Brett Vesli]

They out there.

[Brady]

They speaking. Are they door jobs?

[John]

They're lined up.

[Brady]

They're lined up.

[Jim Manley]

This is a good idea. Curbin Oaks.

[Brady]

I want to go to Legoland.

[Kirby]

Man.

[Jim Manley]

Legoland's 80 bucks. This was 12.95. Pretend the strawberries are Legos.

[John]

Even money.

[Kirby]

We're skipping Legoland today. Yeah, we're going to spend the day in the field.

[Jim Manley]

Do some migrant work in the fields with the others.

[Brady]

You look at these stupidos.

[John]

It does follow a pattern. You went with the garbage truck guy, didn't you? And did his job for a while.

[Brady]

Do manual labor out front of my house.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Bringing them.

[Kirby]

It's the lever.

[Brady]

Oh, my God. Where's that little gay boy with my crustless PB and J?

[Jim Manley]

Coming right here.

[Brady]

Feed the garbage men on Wednesdays. You're a great guest, Brady, and we thank you for popping by.

[Kirby]

We hurry up. I got some picking to do.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's got to get up to the fields today by 12 because, you know, he paid a guy 100 bucks. He's got eight hours in. It's time now for our picker. You're. You're weird, dude. Everyone would drive by that and go, what, I gotta pay you? I'm just going to. I'm in San Diego. It's not like I'm starving.

[Kirby]

Winning Carlsbad.

[Brady]

No, there's no. Carlsbad is loaded with awesome. Winning Carlsbad.

[John]

Do Lego land.

[Brady]

Don't do labor. That's what not. That's the opposite of vacation is work. You do a zip line over the migrant workers. That's the fun of being whitey.

[Brett Vesli]

Go to the caverns.

[Brady]

Yeah, no, the caverns are in New Mexico.

[Brett Vesli]

That's a different.

[Brady]

Different car.

[Brett Vesli]

Whatever.

[Brady]

New Mexico Carl's might as well go there instead. Yeah, well, what do you got to.

[John]

Pay to do there?

[Brady]

Wrestling the bats and stuff? Anyway, you're fun. It's time for the Brady Report, I guess. I don't know what he's doing at the Brady Report. It's brought to you by allprochade.com you get on there. Brady's got a new commercial out there people are emailing me about. He did? Evidently.

[Kirby]

Oh, a Super bowl thing.

[Brady]

Okay. There you go. So all pro shade if you want to get on their website and see that they're usually fairly entertaining. He and Robert out there doing some manual labor.

[Brett Vesli]

He's got the big food jersey on everything. He's ready.

[Brady]

He's washing dishes for 12.95.

[John]

John, I gotta ask. Do Juan and his friends get pissed that all the white people are taking their jobs?

[Brady]

No, they. No, these whites are taking our job. They're paying us. What?

[Jim Manley]

How stupid.

[Brady]

AllProchade.com is where you get your shade and get those. Those. I'm so distracted. All I can picture is Brady bent over going, got a good one.

[Jim Manley]

This is a juicy one.

[John]

Guy says, I can hear one now. Hey, Gordo, pick up the pace.

[Brady]

You can't have them all. He's only pulling on fine.

[Jim Manley]

How's he doing this?

[Brady]

He like a machine. Anyway, all Prochet will make your beautiful patio even better and keep that sun out of your eyes or off that TV you got back there and give you outdoor living space. That is an awesome thing to have if you've got a spot in your backyard that could be an outdoor living space. We'll hop on it. Allproched.com will get you something nice and knock it out. All Pro Shade.com Brady Report.

[Kirby]

Good Wednesday morning to Phoenix. Hello world. Happy National Kazoo Day.

[Brady]

Yeah, don't start that.

[Kirby]

And International Lego Day.

[Brady]

Yeah, you can get real close to.

[Brett Vesli]

That when the International Strawberry Day.

[Brady]

That's right next to Lego Day.

[Kirby]

Couple of basis fun facts. Florence Nightingale, the founder of Modern nursing, was born in Florence, Italy. It's not a nickname. Her parents named her after the city.

[Podcast Announcer]

There's something something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

This guy just invited you out. He said, hey, you guys want to come pick strawberries to pay for my tio's funeral? Let's just combo all the stereotypes.

[Kirby]

Magicians have been sawing people in half for more than a century. The first time the trick was performed was in London in 1921. The guy who sings the south park theme was almost a member of Metallica.

[Brady]

That's.

[Brett Vesli]

That's Claypool.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Kirby]

Less auditioned to be the to replace Cliff burton.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Kirby]

In 86. But it didn't work out.

[Brady]

No, he's. He could do it for sure. But there would have been a couple of different bass lines in those Metallica songs, that's for sure.

[Kirby]

A new poll asked Americans to rank 2025 on a scale of 1 to 10. The average score came out to 5.3 this year for last year.

[Brady]

Huh.

[Kirby]

The average was 5.3 wiener for 2025.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[Kirby]

Out of 10. So most people thought it was just above average. Oh.

[John]

Rating the year.

[Brady]

Rating the year. Oh, that's what I was like, what, Inches? What? Huh? I gotcha. So it was a half a good year.

[Kirby]

Yeah. 20% gave it 5. But breaking it down, Gen X was the lowest with a 5.1 average. Millennials ranked it higher at 5. 3. Gen Z and boomers gave it a 5. 4.

[Brady]

Yeah, it wasn't so bad.

[Kirby]

1% gave it or 9% actually gave it a 1.

[Brady]

They weren't going to be happy. If you can't find more than a one out of your year, it's your fault. I know a lot of things can go wrong, but you got 12 months. A couple of them weren't so bad.

[Kirby]

Well, the year before 2024, it was a six. One out of ten.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's not bad. By the way, this guy said, I saw Brady yesterday, smiling on the side of the road dressed as the Statue of Liberty. How much did that cost?

[Kirby]

That's 50 bucks a day, man.

[Brady]

You're gonna spend $50 a day? Do you want.

[Jim Manley]

I'll pay you if I can wear that outfit.

[Kirby]

And I had to buy the suit.

[Brady]

Yeah, you can buy the suit, but you got to get it clean.

[Jim Manley]

Oh, I will.

[Brett Vesli]

Jose Liberty.

[Jim Manley]

El Spino, Texo.

[Kirby]

A new report from PayScale.com says that if you get a pay bump this year in 2026, there's a good chance it'll be a peanut butter variety.

[Brady]

I don't know what that means.

[Kirby]

I've never heard of that either, but it's been around for a while. Peanut butter raise is when a company spreads money out evenly across the staff, like spreading peanut butter on bread.

[Brady]

Oh, so just everybody gets a percentage boost, like a cost of living adjustment for the whole crew. That's good. Peanut butter.

[Kirby]

It's generally between three and three and a half percent.

[Brady]

How much cash does Brady have on him? My landscape truck broke down and can't. I can't get my guys out. Tell him that he can do it for 50 bucks, but it's got to be cash.

[Jim Manley]

I'll mow your grass.

[Kirby]

I got my own truck.

[Jim Manley]

I'll come over.

[Brady]

50 bucks.

[Jim Manley]

I get to do that. I'm living in a utopia.

[Brett Vesli]

I'm robbing you.

[Jim Manley]

These are the. This idiot.

[Kirby]

50 bucks.

[Jim Manley]

I'd have done it for 70.

[Kirby]

This year's summer work vacation is gonna be unbelievable.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're an idiot. I find it hysterical. I would have sat in the car and just gone. You realize what you're doing?

[Jim Manley]

I'm gonna go pick strawberries for a fee.

[Brady]

I will wait right here.

[Jim Manley]

You don't know what fun looks like.

[Brady]

Legoland, I'm looking at fun. By the way, there's a Costco right across the street from this strawberry field.

[Brett Vesli]

What are you doing?

[Brady]

Where do you think these strawberries go? Over there, Right across the street.

[Kirby]

You know, I did that for you guys. You can save time by not doing it. You're welcome.

[Brady]

Thanks, Jesus. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You seen that comedian that said, I don't know if Trump is Jesus, like, but I wish Jesus was Trump. Like, it's a great. It's a great video. You know, a lot of people say, I couldn't feed these people with all this bread. But look, I've done it. The fish and the bread. It's good fish to a lot of people. So that's a brazone, or, what's the best fish? It's Trump fish. And then a lot of people said, bronzino. It's a bronzino. You can't. You can't possibly feed all these people with just a fish. And here I did it. Look. And if Jesus was more like Trump, a lot of people said it wouldn't. But here I am. A lot of people said I was dead, but look, they love me. And I'm back. They impeached me. I was on the cross. I was on the cross like that. I'm not going to say the Jews did it, but they were there.

[Kirby]

Sweethearts. The little candies you hand out at Valentine's Day. They're adding new conversation hearts with more practical messages in 2026.

[Brady]

I have HIV.

[Kirby]

It's called the Love Is this Economy collection. New messages include split rent, carpool share login. But it's L, O, G, N. They didn't have enough room for the eye, I guess.

[Brady]

Sure eyes. The hardest one to squeeze in there.

[Kirby]

Buy in bulk, cook for two.

[Brady]

You know, I just thought of that. Big Tarvy should make their pills like sweethearts. Like sweethearts. Because that's essentially why you take it is so you can bone with hiv. Right? That's what the commercial teaches me. So why not have a little message and said, I'm contagious.

[Brett Vesli]

Will you blow me?

[Brady]

Or that. Meet me in the bathroom. I have hiv, but it's okay.

[Kirby]

Did you hear about the keg chub?

[Brady]

No.

[Kirby]

The Heinz promotion for Super Bowl. 114 ounce keg of ketchup has a little dispenser on the top. They're available for a limited time. You have to sign up to register to win one.

[Brady]

A lot of ketchup.

[Kirby]

Enter through Heinz Instagram by tomorrow. They're only accepting entries for a couple of days, so if you act fast, get a chance.

[Brady]

Gotta act fast.

[Kirby]

Five winners will be selected.

[Brady]

Of a keg of ketchup?

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And you consider yourself at the end a winner.

[Kirby]

Each keg's valued at 175 or end of your life.

[Brady]

Right.

[Kirby]

There's a picture.

[Brady]

If you register for this, kill yourself.

[John]

In the lieu of $175. We have this ketchup for you.

[Brady]

Or just go to the store. And I know I've never been, but I'm guessing ketchup's about five bucks. I'm not on the prices. Right. And you go grab yourself some ketchup because nobody needs that much ketchup if you're not running a restaurant.

[Kirby]

It's about 20 inches tall. 10 pounds of ketchup.

[Brady]

How much ketchup are you going through that you think you need 10 pounds.

[Kirby]

Ago you got A big super bowl party.

[Brady]

I don't think you're going through £10.

[John]

I don't think the stadium goes through that much.

[Brady]

That's 10 pounds of ketchup.

[John]

Like I've seen that jug outside. Like the sun's arena or, you know, the big giant.

[Brady]

Yeah, Big blue cooler of catch.

[John]

Usually still there at the end of the game.

[Brady]

It's got the crust on the end of the thing.

[Kirby]

They might. They might refill it every now and then.

[John]

No, it's that ketchup leather.

[Brady]

My brain did it again. It looks like a pad.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In a woman's restroom. Yeah, the crust part, it's kind of brown. And you're good. Ketchup has to pass by that crusty period ketchup.

[John]

So it adds to it.

[Brady]

I don't know if it adds.

[Kirby]

This guy named Larry Shea is a golf better and apparently not a good one because last week he guaranteed on social media that Scotty Scheffler would not win the tournament in California. Last week he said, if Scotty Scheffler wins, I will only eat Wendy's chili for a month.

[Brady]

Oh, boy.

[Kirby]

Zero chance. Who won? Scotty Scheffler.

[Brady]

Is he following through?

[Kirby]

Yep.

[Brady]

That doesn't sound so bad.

[Kirby]

He said breakfast chili is surprisingly underrated.

[Brady]

You don't have to overindulge.

[Kirby]

You just give a little Regrets not allowing crackers.

[John]

Did you call it breakfast chili?

[Brady]

Well, that's what he called it.

[John]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Kirby]

He was saying he thought that was.

[Brady]

Just a brady add in.

[Kirby]

I did.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jim Manley]

Breakfast chili is surprisingly delicious.

[Brett Vesli]

That guy's never gonna get laid again.

[Brady]

No. Those plumbers are happy.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh.

[Kirby]

We had that news about Barbie and Hasbro, Ken's full name yesterday in the entertainment drill.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, yeah, they're related.

[Kirby]

And they moved their. Their headquarters. Well, now they're being sued for making too many magic gathering cards from one collector. He's saying you just flooding the market. So the value of the cards aren't as.

[Brady]

That's good, right?

[John]

Somebody try that with tops. Like back in the 80s that tried to sue them said, hey, you're.

[Brady]

You're making. You're flooding.

[Kirby]

Yeah, yeah, dude, file the. They set the market, but you can.

[Brady]

Flood it all you want. It's the condition.

[Kirby]

Right?

[Brady]

You know, I don't know how many Pete Rose rookie cards there are. I have one, but I know my condition makes it less valuable because it's got a fray on the end, so it's like basically worthless.

[Kirby]

Yeah, I was watching the. That Ken golden, you know, the guy that sells all the memorabilia, sports memory. And they came across someone contacted him from California. Four brothers. And they said their father's business. They went through some old boxes warehouse in la and he had his baseball cards. Honest.

[Brady]

That's what he's.

[Kirby]

Wagner. Yeah.

[Brady]

You got to find all he had.

[John]

The big boy.

[Kirby]

Yeah. And so they called him over there just to see if they're. You know, it was legit.

[Brady]

They are.

[Kirby]

It was. And it's the only one. It's called the Fields collection because it's the only one that they've. That the card has been owned by this single family for 115 years. The whole time. Eight mil.

[Brady]

Yeah. That's when that long lost relative dies and go through the attic and you're.

[Kirby]

Like, what did he. But he had the full lineups. So it was, you know, it was everyone. And he had five years long because the Honus Wagner, you know, was printed and put into cigarette packs. But he didn't like that. So they only made so many. And he had his yanked out of that pack. He did buy the other thing. He bought a pack. Someone had the old cigarettes. And Logan Paul went in on together. You know they do those rips or whatever.

[Brady]

Yeah, I love that.

[Kirby]

And so he had the pack, the cigarettes, undid it. And it could be in there. Only 206pax had the onus wagon.

[Brady]

Go down to Rip Valley downtown and play that game. Those guys.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

First off, they're awesome people. But Rip Valley has so many of those. You go down and you start realizing that there's gambling involved in baseball cards. And it's so fun. The three of us went down there that day. There's something just dopey weird about it.

[Kirby]

You lost 38k that year. He paid 38, 000 for the pack of cigarettes. Congratulations to tree hugger in Kenya. She's an environmentalist. Trufina Mothoni, 22 years old. She earned the title for the longest marathon hugging a tree. See? Surpassed the previous record of 50 hours, 2 minutes and 28 seconds.

[Brady]

You can't call it a marathon because it sounds like they're actually running a marathon. You're just holding the tree for a long time. Yeah, marathon is a very.

[Kirby]

That's how they tie.

[Brady]

I know not.

[Podcast Announcer]

There's something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Kirby]

She did it for 72 consecutive hours.

[Brady]

Because you even said running a marathon holding a tree, it's not doing that.

[Kirby]

The longest marathon hugging a tree, Right?

[Brady]

Yeah, but That's. Yeah, that's longest period there. Mike's off. What?

[John]

Longest period?

[Brady]

Yeah, it just is. Somebody hugged a tree for the longest time. Not running a marathon holding a tree. I'd like to know what that record is. You're not going very far. You do 20.

[Kirby]

The marathon was actually just the town.

[Brady]

That was the town when they did it. Yeah.

[John]

All right. John. I work for the beverage company at the Sun's Arena. I'll tell you this. We don't go through 10 pounds of ketchup in two weeks.

[Brady]

It's too much ketchup for. And five people are gonna be like, I won. And then they're gonn to get a keg of ketchup. And you're like, this is terrible. I've. I've got a disaster. I'm. Where do you put it? It can't go in the fridge.

[John]

How long does it keep?

[Brady]

Got me ketchup, but don't.

[John]

Can't ask you your sauce.

[Brady]

How long does it keep?

[Jim Manley]

How much you got?

[Kirby]

I've had four or five year old.

[Brady]

Ketchup handed out as gifts.

[Jim Manley]

There's a little ketchup packet I got at home there. Trying to get. I'm trying to unload 110 pounds of ketchup. I wonder.

[Brady]

There is a lady on your side, Brady. Her name's Julie and she's awesome. I grew up in a peach orchard in Oregon. We picked the peaches whenever. We also went to apple orchards and strawberries.

[Kirby]

It was fun.

[Brady]

And the fruit was so much better than any store bought. No, it's not.

[Brett Vesli]

But if you lived there, you weren't paying to do it.

[John]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brady]

She said I might be a hippie. Yeah. And you didn't pay anybody to go over to the apple orchard and start doing the migrant work. Brady, I want to meet your avocado friend. So you found a lunatic that'll go with you. Everybody tells themselves that if you pick.

[Jim Manley]

It straight off the tree, it's better.

[Brady]

No, it's not. They picked it off a tree too. It's the same.

[John]

Brady, would you go pick the tomatoes for your own ketchup in the field.

[Brady]

For your hundred pounds of ketchup?

[Kirby]

For my own gravy.

[Brady]

Make your own sauce. Surprised you don't have vines in the backyard.

[Kirby]

I did have the. When I first bought the house, there was a stand pop up garden area, but.

[John]

Oh yeah, off to the side. I remember that.

[Brady]

Should have done it.

[Kirby]

Think about putting it in there. But it's green in.

[Brady]

Yeah, you don't need that now. All right. What do you got?

[Kirby]

Got a couple of radio videos. First one's up. The fun of joining fraternity. Oh, boy.

[Brady]

Hazing. We're gonna watch the hazing.

[Brett Vesli]

Come the pikes.

[Kirby]

This one. Yeah. Didn't do anything like this, but maybe they've changed.

[Brady]

Some of the guy laying on his back and a bunch of dudes over the top of him and it looks like they're vomiting on him. They are paying. This is what taught you this? They paid.

[John]

The guy on the floor is passed out.

[Brady]

They paid to be part of this?

[Kirby]

Yeah, I think so.

[Brady]

Oh, my God. Projectile vomiting onto the head. Oh, they're pounding Sprites of a sleeping man. And this is the type of stuff you pay top dollar for because you can't make friends on your own. Oh, my God. You know what's not even close to this video? Any women right there will. They're disgusting. They're all dressed the same knobs. If you got that, would you have quit your fraternity if you found out that that was going on? Or would that have been just another story if Brennaman was puking on Studley?

[Kirby]

I knew what I went through was gonna go through beforehand.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Kirby]

Probably wouldn't have joined.

[Brady]

Yeah, because they beat you for a.

[Kirby]

While because you're not. You don't. Yeah, but then when you're in it.

[John]

I wasn't beaten, but we were. We were abused with alcohol a lot.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you had to do like.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Eat poop out of the toilet.

[Kirby]

You have to do the alcohol thing.

[Brady]

They. They laid stinky cheese in a toilet and made a meat out of it in order to be fine.

[Kirby]

So you think you're eating. You think you eat a piece of crap.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Kirby]

But you're so fatigued. Some guys would do it.

[Brady]

You're that tired.

[Kirby]

Oh, yeah. You've been up for 72 hours. Basically, that's part of Hell week or Inspiration Week.

[Brady]

I'll just make better friends that. Allow me a couple hours a nap. I need some shot eye, boys.

[Jim Manley]

You could be our friends if you sleep, man.

[Brady]

I guess we're not friends.

[Kirby]

I slept a little bit on us on stairs. You got one stair. There's your bed.

[Brett Vesli]

Really?

[Kirby]

Yeah. There's a front step. There's 20 of us.

[Brady]

Didn't they outlaw this at Guantanamo?

[Kirby]

I think. Oh, yeah, they did.

[Brady]

Yeah. You can't.

[Kirby]

It's no longer.

[Brady]

Yeah, they waterboarded us. It was fun.

[John]

And here's the thing, John. Another thing he paid for.

[Brady]

Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. He paid. This is the Beginning of it.

[Jim Manley]

I'll tell you to do that.

[John]

To be honest, I paid for it. I know.

[Brady]

You're both dumb.

[Brett Vesli]

You gotta pay to be in a frat.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. They still hit you up now it's a club, bro.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John]

When? It's even better when you're an alumni.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, you gotta kick down even when you're done.

[Brady]

Yeah, they try.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady]

When I joined the Rah Rah room, they put barbed wire on my balls. I'm like, what? Now I'm gonna. Why would I pay for this frat house?

[Kirby]

Looked good last time I went by there. Brett. Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

How much you gotta pay?

[Brady]

You don't kick in any.

[John]

When was your last donation?

[Brady]

You haven't given mine.

[Kirby]

It's been a couple years.

[John]

1988.

[Brady]

How long and what was it, two years ago? 12.95.

[Kirby]

No, it's about like 150 bucks. They're doing a new project, interior, redoing the library.

[Brady]

Sure, the library. The beer hall.

[Kirby]

Very important leather bound books in that library. All right, the first radio, video.

[Brady]

They need more bleach to clean off all this.

[Kirby]

It's the second one. Oh, okay.

[Brady]

I remember, we just watched.

[Kirby]

Oh, yeah, the second one.

[Brady]

Are you all right?

[Kirby]

There's a fight at an arcade.

[Brady]

You're an absolute gem. All right, we're at a kid's arcade and there's. Oh, they're wrestling some lady. Is that an employee?

[Kirby]

No. Well, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, she's throwing blows to the back of his head. They're in a. Oh, and he just chucks her into the gift box where you take your tickets after a few skee balls.

[Jim Manley]

Oh, she's out like a light.

[Brady]

Oh, she got tasered by a cop. Oh, that's awesome. An off camera cop tasers her and she drops like a deposed leader statue. Oh, that was great. So she is just throwing and this dude slams her into the little. The low level ticket redemption area. And then she gets tased, which tells me something here about this particular arcade. There's a cop ready to shoot you because they've had this problem several times. It looks festive.

[John]

Well, yes, she went behind the glass, man.

[Kirby]

Wait a minute.

[John]

They're on roller skates. This is a roller skating.

[Brady]

Well, it's a roller rink too. And there are police officers.

[Kirby]

That definitely is a prize center.

[Brady]

They didn't even have to call.

[John]

I think Skateland has something like that, don't they?

[Brady]

You play speedball in the corner, a couple video games, you earn some tickets.

[Kirby]

That's. That's bigger.

[John]

Than skateline.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You go get a stuffy and then you get tape. Hit math. I'm going to do my best, and I'm not going to make any guarantees, but I'm pretty sure law enforcement will never tase me. Almost positive. I can avoid this forever.

[Kirby]

I'll take that bet.

[Brady]

Guaranteed. Unless it's a random vigilante attack, I won't be in a situation where I get pepper balled in the nuts because I did something. It would be an accident. And I'm still not going to be adjacent to that.

[Kirby]

Right.

[John]

You're going to be able to. Waymo will tell you to get away from that.

[Brady]

Right. I can get on an app ways would say, you know, avoid this.

[Kirby]

This last one is what you'd be seeing if you're at the international double Dutch championships.

[Brady]

Oh, China or Chinese jump rope.

[Kirby]

It's like just a giant room.

[Brady]

Chinese people jumping.

[John]

Is it even? I don't see the rope. Oh, there it is.

[Brady]

There's a bunch of ropes.

[Kirby]

It's counting on the side there.

[Brady]

It's Chinese people jumping a little bit. Some or another. I feel like this might be racing that we're getting enjoyment out of that many Chinese people bouncing there. And if you. If you miss the rope, they kill you there. That's what I've heard about China.

[Kirby]

Look at the different formations.

[Brady]

Good to see they're using the Olympic village again, though, isn't it? That whole stadium is for jump rope now.

[John]

Yeah, that's that nest place, isn't it? The bird's nest or whatever.

[Brady]

I think that was for. Yeah, the swim cube is basically.

[John]

Oh, that's what it was.

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

Anyway.

[Brady]

All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett Vesli]

We're light today, so we'll get a couple in. That one's funny.

[Brady]

Go ahead.

[Brett Vesli]

We'll start this off with a little car accident.

[Brady]

Oh, it's a car coming at you. We're on the. On the wrong side of the road. So it's a bad country. They're driving down the wrong side of the road. We would. And it just goes all the way across traffic in a wagon and hits everybody. Oh, there goes the body. Shoots out of the. Look at how far that body.

[Kirby]

All.

[Brady]

The way up to the top of a power line. The body shoots out of this flipping wagon and hits the top of a power pole and then bursts into flames up there.

[Kirby]

That is BMW suv.

[Brady]

It's a nice one. So he hits the first. The car is just completely spinning out of control. Once he launches out of that window. It's got to be 1819ft and hits the power pole and blows it up. God hated him.

[Kirby]

Did he survive?

[Brady]

He's okay. Third degree burns on his feet. He's fine.

[Brett Vesli]

And this one, just for no reason.

[Brady]

This is a stationary bicycle that's attached to a mechanism that has a dildo on the end of it and a big fat lady's on the other end. Guy rides it, the dildo pulsates.

[John]

And that's Brady's fishing net from when he went fishing.

[Brady]

You'd have caught a whale. That guy did. This is a 400 pound woman and lingerie.

[Brett Vesli]

He's cruising too.

[Brady]

He's flying along. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[Kirby]

BMX churning.

[Brady]

He's getting in good shape. She could use that bike more than him.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. That's things people are inventing. Everybody's a Thomas Edison with a dildo.

[Geico Representative]

Will you let me feed you?

[Brady]

Oh, boy. All right. Here's a lady. Oh boy.

[Kirby]

Mouth feeding.

[Brady]

She's got her feet and some spaghetti and she's. She's putting it on some bald guy's mouth. He's eating off her feet. That's not so bad. What's so bad about that?

[Kirby]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

Eating people off people's feet.

[Brady]

I've eaten off.

[Brett Vesli]

Probably got circle K feet.

[Brady]

But fries it wasn't. About a week ago I ate off somebody's feet.

[Brett Vesli]

Big one.

[Brady]

Disgusting.

[Kirby]

It's not so bad.

[Brady]

That one doesn't bother me at all.

[Brett Vesli]

And remember our little guy from a couple weeks ago?

[Brady]

Oh, he's back again. What is. Oh, the midget is banging a normal lady. He is so tiny. And he is having vigorous sex with a full sized lady.

[John]

Just a blow dryer guy from yesterday.

[Brady]

No. And he's maybe 2ft tall, but he's got great cats. And a thick ass. Look at them. I'm envious of his legs.

[Brett Vesli]

There's no payoff here.

[John]

This is just a little man size of her torso.

[Brady]

Yeah, he fits it. It looks like a birth gone sideways. Like the baby fought back.

[Kirby]

You're saying? I believe.

[Brady]

Yeah. She's having sex with a baby and it's doing all the work. That dude is tiny.

[Brett Vesli]

Nice, Kansas.

[Brady]

She's pretty.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady]

What did her uncle or father do to her that allowed this? That she said, sure, you can film it.

[Brett Vesli]

That's all we got.

[Brady]

All right. What a day. Man, oh man. It's never been more true. Yeah, yeah. Feeling good on a Wednesday. That's some good stuff, boys. I like it. There goes your Brady report. It's 98 KUPD. Hey, it's not weird.

[John]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[Brady]

I have heard enough of this. Hello.

[Geico Representative]

I'm here during the lunch rush with Janice, who owns her own food truck.

[Jim Manley]

Best cheesesteaks in town.

[Geico Representative]

Janice traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for her food truck business. We're here where she needs us most.

[Jim Manley]

They sure are.

[Geico Representative]

We make it so easy for her to save with customised coverage that grows with her business. Sorry, I just get so emotional talking about saving folks money.

[Jim Manley]

Not this onion I'm chopping.

[Geico Representative]

It's just so beautiful.

[Kirby]

Oh, yeah.

[Geico Representative]

Nice.

[Jim Manley]

The onion.

[Brady]

Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. It feels good to Geico.