01-28-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

---

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Condensed Short Show (01-28-26)

Main Theme & Purpose

This condensed episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" blends comedic storytelling, audience emails, and current event commentary, all in the show's signature irreverent, quick-witted, and occasionally taboo-breaking style. Hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo tackle controversial subjects like border enforcement and trafficking, police protests, club etiquette, generational shifts in social interaction, and—on the lighter side—absurd personal anecdotes and their ever-popular “Rock Wars” music game.

---

Key Discussion Points

1. Law Enforcement, Zips, and Human Trafficking Allegations

• Listener Email Insight (01:18)

  • John Holmberg shares an email from "Heath," a listener involved in law enforcement and recent events at "Zips" (a restaurant under investigation).
    • “We aren’t there enforcing basic immigration like people are saying...this is a trafficking system situation.” (01:18, Heath via John Holmberg)
  • John stresses: Know what you’re protesting before getting involved.
    • “I’m all for protesting, but know why you’re protesting.” (01:18, Heath)

• Nuances of ‘Human Trafficking’

  • Hosts discuss misconceptions: It's not always the movie version—often it's moving people for work or shelter.
    • John recounts (humorously) his own accidental role as a manager at Tony Roma’s, hiring multiple cooks named "Chris Valenzuela," who seemed to rotate through jobs and shared living spaces.
    • “I was a human trafficker, I can tell you... I didn’t know it at the time but that’s pretty much what was happening.” (03:07, John Holmberg)

• Caution Against Misplaced Outrage

  • John warns listeners against impulsively joining demonstrations they don’t fully understand, especially when serious federal investigations are involved.
    • “Don’t react [just] because you’re mad... If you’re going to protest, know what you’re protesting.” (09:29, John Holmberg)

---

2. Social Interaction: Bar Stories & The Boldness of the "Bathroom Move"

• The ‘Bathroom Proposal’ at the Rah Rah Room (12:28)

  • John tells a story about witnessing a young man brazenly ask a woman to have sex in a bar restroom—twice—without even trying to build rapport.
    • “Do you want to go to the bathroom with me?” (13:01, John Holmberg, quoting the man)
    • Woman responds: “No, I’m good. I don’t have to go.”
    • “[The guy said] We don’t need to go. Like, is this dude trying to just immediately pull?” (13:13, John Holmberg)
  • Discussion veers to generational changes; hosts speculate whether porn and changing workplace rules are influencing direct, sometimes tactless, approaches.
    • “Is that a move that's worked ever?” (13:17, John Holmberg)

• Humor and Social Commentary

  • The group riffs on how social norms have shifted, sometimes attributing over-the-top behavior to pent-up “forbidden” workplace flirtation now being unleashed in bars.
    • “I blame the feminist movement... [guys] end up going to bars and saying crazy stuff instead of just getting it out of the system.” (18:23, John Holmberg — tongue-in-cheek)

---

3. Protest Humor: Pepper Balls, "Hippies," and Empathy Emails

• On Empathy for Protesters (20:25)

  • Stacy, a listener, writes in questioning if the hosts feel empathy when protestors are hurt (“like watching hippies get hit in the nuts”).
    • “Do you feel any empathy for when hippies get hit in the nuts? ... No.” (21:12, John Holmberg, with laughter)
  • The hosts double down, finding humor even when sympathizing with the causes, but never in the outcome of being struck with police ammunition.
    • “If I met somebody... who doesn’t think hippies getting hit in the nuts is funny... I can’t be friends.” (21:19, John Holmberg)

• Actual Protest Footage

  • The group describes and watches a video of a protester being directly shot in the groin with a pepper ball.

    • “That is a direct shot... you asshole [to the cop], but what a shot!” (24:14, John Holmberg)

  • On Good Protest Strategy

    • The group jokes about knowing when to retreat and why some ethnic groups avoid high-risk protests.
      • “Once you have to put a gas mask on, it’s pretty much over. Live to fight another day.” (26:16, John Holmberg)

---

4. The "Strawberry Problem": Absurd Real-Life Economics

• Brady’s Strawberry-Picking Adventure (29:28+)

  • Brady sheepishly recounts a family vacation where they paid for the privilege to pick strawberries—much more expensive than buying at the store.
    • “For $20, I get strawberries. I can’t go to the store and get them for four...” (31:24, John Holmberg)
  • John and Bret roast Brady relentlessly for “paying for migrant labor,” comparing it to doing hotel maid work for fun.
    • “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” (32:44, John Holmberg)
    • “Poor Caitlin was abducted by Brady... forced to do migrant work.” (32:50, John Holmberg)

• Odd Strawberry Comparisons

  • John launches into his aversion to strawberries, grossly comparing biting into one to “biting a homeless man’s nose.”
    • “Biting a strawberry is the same as biting a homeless man’s giant, alcoholic, blackhead-filled nose.” (29:29, John Holmberg)
  • This launches more laughter and disbelief from the other hosts.

---

5. Viral Protest Video: Pepper Spray Drive-By

• Discussion on Recent Protest Video (39:48)
  • Hosts review video of a Homeland Security officer spraying a protester from a moving truck.
    • “Dude just reaches out the passenger window and hoses a woman in the face with pepper spray... It’s terrible. I don’t want to laugh. It is terrible. But, yeah, I did [laugh].” (40:12, John Holmberg)
  • John withholds judgment, noting he lacks context for full outrage, but acknowledges the optics look terrible and expects consequences for the officer.
    • “First blush, this dude’s going to lose his job. Second blush, I’m kind of laughing... Third, it seems so wildly unnecessary.” (41:24, John Holmberg)
  • They discuss the “reactionary” nature of outrage around protest policing and stress the importance of understanding the whole story.
    • “I’m Jay Cutler. I’m with you. I’m kind of in this thing where you can’t win a discussion...” (46:16, John Holmberg)

---

6. Rock Wars: Unhearable Song Mashups

• Game Premise

  • Listeners and hosts share songs that, once compared to a cartoon character or another song, can never be “unheard.”
    • Example: AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” as “Alvin & the Chipmunks.”
      • “Close your eyes. Thunderstruck. Picture Alvin and the Chipmunks.” (48:07, John Holmberg/Brady)
    • Danzig’s singing compared to Donkey from Shrek.
    • The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” becomes a Jerry Seinfeld bit.

• Memorable Riffs

  • “God damn it. It’s Alvin... I’m never not going to hear that.” (49:14, John Holmberg on Thunderstruck)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On accidental involvement in trafficking:

  • “I was a human trafficker... I didn’t know it was a human trafficker, but I was a human trafficker for a while at Tony Roma’s.” (03:07, John Holmberg)

• On modern protests:

  • “Once you have to put a gas mask on, it’s pretty much over. Live to fight another day, as they say.” (26:16, John Holmberg)

• On the price of strawberry picking:

  • “You paid more to do the work than you could have just going to Trader Joe’s... That is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever told me.” (33:11, John Holmberg)

• On protest injuries:

  • “If I met somebody... who doesn’t think hippies getting hit in the nuts is funny... I can’t be friends.” (21:19, John Holmberg)
  • “That is a direct and to that cop that did it... but what a shot.” (24:14, John Holmberg)
  • "I don’t even care what that protest was about. Because all the protests are the same. It’s angry and nothing changes. So it doesn’t work.” (28:10, John Holmberg)

• Rock Wars, Hallucinatory Song Moments:

  • “Thunderstruck” as Alvin & the Chipmunks:
    • “God damn it. It’s Alvin. I hate you guys for that one.” (49:14, John Holmberg)
  • Danzig as Donkey from Shrek:
    • “Come on, Shrek, get out of here!” (49:27, John Holmberg/Brett)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Law enforcement/Zips/human trafficking explanation | | 03:07 | John’s story: accidental “trafficking” at Tony Roma’s | | 09:29 | Caution against misplaced protest outrage | | 12:28 | Story: Awkward “bathroom move” at the Rah Rah Room | | 20:25 | Listener email: empathy for protesters/humor in protest injury| | 24:14 | Clips: protester hit with pepper ball (humorous analysis) | | 29:28 | Brady’s strawberry-picking vacation and strawberry “nose” analogy | | 39:48 | Discussion of protest “drive-by” pepper spraying video | | 46:51 | “Rock Wars”: Songs ruined by character comparisons |

---

Overall Tone & Style

• Bold, irreverent, and sometimes outrageous humor—unfiltered, with frequent self-deprecating riffs and biting sarcasm.
• Cultural and generational observations—often lampooning modern behavior, political correctness, and current events.
• Audience engagement—listener emails are read and roasted, often becoming springboards for extended bits.
• Comedic storytelling—personal anecdotes and “did that just happen?” moments solidify the show’s Arizona cult status.

---

Summary for New Listeners

In this fast-paced, laughter-packed episode, "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness" delivers its trademark blend of edgy comedy, local news satire, and group storytelling. You’ll hear about accidental human trafficking, the awkward state of modern bar flirting, why picking your own strawberries is a ripoff, why protest footage sometimes makes even the hosts laugh, and how to ruin classic rock songs for good. The hosts don’t shy away from hot-button issues—but always with a punchline (or six) ready.
If you’re curious about why an Arizona morning show is #1, this episode is a master class in irreverence—with just enough heart to keep it grounded.

Transcript

[Brett Vesli]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[FanDuel Announcer]

The fight to the big game in Santa Clara continues this weekend, and FanDuel is turning on playoff mode because of it. All customers get a profit boost pack every NFL playoff game day. Pick the matchups you believe in, so visit fanduel.com kupd and grab that profit boost pack every NFL playoff game day. 21/plus and President Arizona opt in Required bonus issue does not withdrawal Profit Boost tokens Restrictions apply, including any token expiration and max wager amount. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.

[Brett Vesli]

It's Brett Vesli from the morning sickness and I want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping. These guys have been great. They've been taking care of my house and you guys have heard that I've had a lot of stuff going on lately. It's been great to take something off my plate. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree work, low voltage lighting, 3D designs, patios. You name it, they can do it. So start the new year off right and get a free [e-mail] and ask for the H friends and family rate. That's DivineDesign lawn care.com.

[John Holmberg]

The old method.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

Of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says. I work with law enforcement on a very high level and I'm involved in what went on at zips. We aren't there enforcing basic immigration like people are saying not to give too much away. But there are some things naturally tying back to immigration because this is a trafficking system situation. That said, people came to protest us. They are putting themselves in a bad situation and they have no clue what it is that's going on. We had an incident with a person who laid hands on an FBI agent. Not sure if you know how dumb that is, but this dude is a big deal and what the man did was a gigantic federal offense. But the agent kept his cool. It could have easily escalated into something horrible. I'm all for protesting, but but know why you're protesting. Don't react. From what I'm hearing, we are not dealing with a couple of crooks here or a couple of cooks who floated over the border and are just getting away with it. Anyway, thank you John for the fart jokes and being the voice of reason. Signed Heath well, that's what I'm here for. Fart jokes and voice of reason. That's it. Yeah. I've talked to two people. Another guy emailed me and said he's involved in this in a law level. And he goes, what's going on? That they allegedly going on there is not like that sounds. It's.

[Brady]

I mean, if it's, you know, like for trafficking twice.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, traffic times, everybody assumes that's nabbing kids out of a mall. Yeah. That's not necessarily human trafficking is, you know, you're moving people in. Like some people want that. Like, they're moving people from place to place and they're giving safe houses and they're. They're part of.

[Brady]

For employment to help them stay there.

[John Holmberg]

They're part of like the honeycomb that is this person can go here and then here and then here. I was. I was a human trafficker. I can tell you from me. Oh, yeah. I can tell you from experience that I didn't know it was a human trafficker, but I was a human trafficker for a while at Tony Roma's. When I hired all those Chris Valenzuela's, what I was doing was enabling these people to have a safe space and then moving them. And we'd move them to other Tony Romas. The Chris Valenzuela's we hired, there were.

[Brady]

Like 12 of them and get some cash.

[John Holmberg]

And we didn't know which ones were showing up. We had on the cooks list, Chris.

[Brett Vesli]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And we would put multiple times down for like, let's say Wednesday, it would say open 11, four close. On one guy's thing. Four of them would show up. All of them on time. All the Chris's. We didn't know which. There were 12 of them.

[Brett Vesli]

I was just gonna say. So you never knew which Chris Valenzuela.

[John Holmberg]

Was gonna show up. They were all equally great at being cooks. So when I would do that, and there's a guy named Tony Smith that did the schedule, we'd look at him like, I need a cris for like the. I need one of the Chris's for the. He goes. Just write it down. If they see their name and a thing on the busboy schedule, like, a bunch of them will show up like, okay. And that is exactly what happened. It was phenomenal having them.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And then I went to their house to party once, and there were no. There was no furniture. There was a couch. There was a bunch of sleeping bags and more Chris's. There must have been 20 of them. In there. It was a three bedroom apartment at Playa Palms on Country Club and right between Guadalupe and Baseline. And they, they slept on the floor. Like when the Chris's that worked another job in the middle of the night.

[Brady]

Were home, they'd sleep two bedroom, 27 occupancy.

[John Holmberg]

It was a. But I think that they just like one dude was renting it and his name was Chris Valenzuela. They were. And we played poker with them. They were fun, the Chris's. And then I kind of realized workers. Oh, you've never seen anything like it. And like they kept it together. So I'm sitting there and there was one of them that shows up. I called him Senor Mariposa because he was old. And I found out that senor Mary Post because he didn't like gay anything. So I would always go hola Senor Mary Posta. And I said kulo me labia. Because one of the Chris has taught me that that was lick my butt. I'm not, I'm not so certain. I think that's just lips and butts. I'm not sure what it is. I think it's put your lips on my vehicle. I don't know what it means. But he hated it. And he thought it was funny, but he also hated it. So I was active, but he was Uncle Chris because He was like 60 and all the other Chris's got him. And then that's the day I realized, oh, we're just running families through here to get a couple bucks and do whatever it is they're doing. We were human trafficking, that's what that is. And the Chris is just went with it. And also there were some times when Chris would call in sick and none of the Chris's showed up. They were. Yeah, they were worried about something so they didn't leave the apartment down there. Their team, yeah, it was always the, the main Chris would call. Hola. Hey John, what's going on? Like hey Chris, how you doing? Hey, we're not going to make it today. No, no, no. No trouble. Okay. What am I going to do? Is anybody showing up? No. Oh God. And then I'd have to have Dylan the idiot and his three friends come in. Johnny, no coming. No trouble. No, no Chris's today. No Chris. Okay. No Chris. And I think they just meant Chris in English. Must to them meant you guys. Yeah, but I was human trafficking. In a weird way I was part of human trafficking. I wasn't. I think everybody thinks of it like the movies where you're just Stuffing people in cars and vans, which is part of it. But I don't know how the Chris's were getting here. But we were a phone call to another Chris down there and you know Tijuana and say, hey, hey, Chris, you come up, you come work, Johnny Cool, you'll come up, you'll be just some days I just be there. And I'm like, I don't know any of the Chris's today. They're all four new. And all of them knew how to make everything on the menu. Like the day they got there. Like they studied it at home.

[Brett Vesli]

So was there, was there Chris Valenzuela's at all them restaurants on the Guadalupe corner? So like you got. There's a couple at Pub and Grub, there's a couple of Nellos, There's a couple.

[John Holmberg]

What I was too stupid to look into. But my guess is we weren't dealing with the only Chris Valenzuel. But Chris Valenzuela dominated our kitchen for close to six months. Then guess what? Like the wind.

[Brett Vesli]

Did they quit or anything? Just not show up.

[John Holmberg]

They stopped being there.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

And it was like we were down. It was like the ten little Indian song. We had one little two little three. Like a couple of the Chris's were gone. And then we're like, where's the other Chris? And then you put down four Chris's and two, which I'm like, where are they? Where are the guys? Well, no, said Chris, Chris on that thing down me like, I know you're, you're all Chris. Like, don't, don't argue with me. Cuatro, cuatron. I'm like, okay. And then two of them would handle what four used to do. And then they just stopped coming and we lost the Chris's. Then we had to go back to convicts and high school kids. And then it got weird. They were good. So I was part of human trafficking. The FBI could have very easily wandered into that Tony run, by the way. I would have been fine with them coming in, stopping human trafficking so long as they never looked into my pocket and I was stealing all that money because all of us were doing. It was a crooked operation. So, yeah, don't go over there and protest unless you know what they're up to. This isn't just a, you know, brown guy getting pulled over in his car for being brown. Evidently there's something bigger. And by the way, to all the people really angry at what happened, it's the Jew they're after. That's the big, the Guy who owns it is the one they're really going for here. So it's not, you know, you can say you're protecting brown people. It's you're not. They're going after the head honchos. From what I've read. The one dude emailed me and he's part of Homeland Security, and it was a long email, and he didn't want to details. But he gave me some details because I asked Homeland Security to say, where's lunch today? Winking a nod because I want to see pepper balls. But evidently they peppered a guy even yesterday. Screwing around. But if you're going to protest, know what you're protesting. Maybe, just maybe, some of these law enforcement guys are cleaning up something terrible, and you're so riled up thinking everything they do is awful, you're going to stop something, like preventing something that needs to be done needs to happen. I don't know what's going on in that place, but I know if they'd have raided like 40 different restaurants, that would have been like, ah, they're just rounding up cooks. That's not what they did. And I don't. The last thing I want to do, and people will call me a coward and I'll get emails, go, you're over there. So I just don't want anybody to get killed over what turned out to be a pretty decent thing they're doing. And if you start pushing FBI agents, you might be the dumbest person alive. What are you doing? Turn the news off.

[Brady]

Life can change pretty quick.

[John Holmberg]

Watch a goddamn rerun of Friends and calm the F down. By the way, I've recently learned that in French subtitling every time a rap video or a Sam Jackson movie plays in France, they replace the N word with friends. So if you ever talk to a French guy who doesn't know the TV show Friends is the worst thing in the world because they think that that's the translation to the N word until you explain it to them. I find that hysterical, that they're like, mmm, how in the world did Training Day go if Denzel kept calling everybody friend? My friend, my friend. This friend right here. Yeah. So just be smarter, that's all. Don't push people who are wearing those. Again, you may not like them, but.

[Brett Vesli]

My friends are gonna be in Pelican Bay with a basketball.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna get some pipe hitting Friends. I want to change everything to Friends. But that's the other stuff. It's a French translation, is. Well, it's not. But that's what they used in order to just not say it.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

It's something something. Check out homework's morning sickness.

[Brett Vesli]

FanDuel is taking care of you guys because they're turning on playoff mode. All customers get a profit Boost pack every NFL playoff game day. Each game day during the championship round, you'll find a pick loaded with multiple profit boosts waiting for you in the app. So visit fanduel.com kupd and grab your profit Boost pack every NFL playoff game day. 21/in present in Arizona Opt in Required bonus issues non withdrawable Profit Boost tokens Restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amount. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem call 1-800-next-step or text next next up to.

[American Express Announcer]

53342 bring along an American Express card to open the door to rewards wherever you go. Morning coffee run with an old friend. Earn cash back. Weekend getaway. Earn miles. Dinner at the hottest restaurant in town. You get the idea no matter the place or the plan. AMEX rewards your inner explorer. See if you pre qualify for an American Express card with no impact on your credit score. Learn [e-mail] check 4 offers. Your credit score may be impacted if you accept a card. Terms apply.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

Home Birds Morning sickness this is what.

[John Holmberg]

I really wanted to talk about today. Last night at the Rah Rah Room, I'm standing there with my buddy Anthony and Dr. Brink and there are where we stand at the end of the bar because we kind of own this little end of the bar. We've elbowed our way in and it's our little space. We just kind of hang out there before the game at halftime and then usually, you know, it's dwindles into third quarter and the next thing you know, the game's almost over. We've been watching on TV the whole time. There's three women that stand close by around the corner, and we kind of will chat with them every once in a while. They're really nice and they're not there all the time, but Corinna and Ashley and their crazy friend and they were standing next to us. These dudes came in last night and I have not seen this move in my life. They kind of knew them a little because everybody's kind of it's a club, so you kind of see the same people and the one dude elbows into me, excuse me. And I'm like, that's fine. And I'm just talking to Anthony and he gets between me and the Corinna lady And he starts talking to her. And in the middle of her sentence, he goes, do you want to go to the bathroom with me? I'm like, well, that's aggressive. And she's like, oh, no, I'm good. I don't have to go. And he goes, we don't need to go. Like, is this dude trying to just immediately pull? Is that a move that's worked ever? So she turns him down, and they start talking again. He goes, seriously, let's go to the bathroom. And I'm like, he's. So he left for a second, and I'm like, I gotta ask you, is he, like, trying to do blow or is this. Like, what does he want? She goes, no, he was asking if I wanted to have sex with him right now. Like, how about that guy that's getting it done? Well, Willie got pepper sprayed. And I warned him. I told him, said, you can't do that. No, she didn't do it. But I'm like, is that a normal thing? And she goes, some guys just ask now, like, in the younger ones, he's a younger guy. He didn't know what to be social with. Like, she was talking. It was one of those. So how you been? I'm good. I just went to the bathroom and have sex. Like, hardcore. No, thank you. All right. Anyway, finish her story, then she. Get him. A lot of time has passed since I last asked, would you like to have sex in the bathroom?

[Brett Vesli]

This guy, like, Dan Blazerian or something.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, okay, it was. He had three chins. He's like 25 and he had three chins.

[Brady]

That's hard to do at Israel. A.

[John Holmberg]

Never seen it.

[Brady]

A reasonable pass, in a way, because there's no. No touching. It's aggressive. Yeah. You know the guys that go over there, like.

[John Holmberg]

But is there a woman on the planet you'd be interested in that goes, yeah, let's do that.

[Brady]

But then you think on that guy, then it must. It must work sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't believe what I was seeing. I've not seen that. I've seen. I've heard some people. And then this little dude, he was like 4ft tall, kept popping in between Sam. He was. No, it was healthy Sam. My friend Sam is not gonna make it. But he kept popping in between the tall people and these girls that were talking to him, they were real excited. And the one guy goes, this is epic. And then he'd disappear again. Like, it was like a little epic troll. He'd pop up and say something positive and then disapp. I sat There. And. And the game got good, and Anthony and Dr. Brink left. And I'm like, I'm staying right here. I gotta hear how this ends. And they struck out. And then they tried to buy me drinks. Sorry we moved you out of the way. I'm like, I'm fine. I'm standing right here. Anyway. Can I get you a drink? I'm like, no. Want to go to the bathroom? Like, I heard it all. It was a move. I've not. I didn't know dudes did. I thought it was, you know, can I get your numbers out the door now? It's just, let's go. Want to go screw. And I wonder if that's the porn generation. Just thinking that's how it works. Like, if she smiles at you and says nice thing, it's. I don't know. If only.

[Brett Vesli]

That would have been Father Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. I had my chances. Would you like to go to the bathroom in order to happen? All right. Finally happening. I'm about to get that giant lawsuit to the Catholic Church. He's again, all right, John, Just go right ahead in there. And he locks me in, and I. Sex with all the other kids.

[Brady]

Can I show you my rectory?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't know what that is, sir, but, yes, I'd like to see that. And then I'd be glowing. It's happening.

[Brett Vesli]

Look what's under the dress.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna have a story and a bunch of money from the Catholics. Yeah. And then he'd just put this on. And then he never comes back. And I'm trapped in that bathroom for ages. Locks me in there. Could take three days to get out. Just like Jesus. Ironically. Anyway. Yeah. To dudes, you know, Raise your glass to those guys, because that's those balls. And twice to you, the closers. Yeah. Here's to you, closer guy, asking a woman if she'll have sex with you in a bathroom in the middle of a conversation. And it wasn't like a humorous moment that would lead to that. He was making a move. I'm not. That's brave. At a basketball game. It's not like we were standing at a concert and everybody was trashing let's go to the Portage. I've seen that. That's gross, too. But people. If there's people out there right now whose bodies just cringe because they've had Porta John sex, and they realize that at that moment in their lives, they.

[Brady]

Airplanes.

[John Holmberg]

They're pigs. Airplanes have that, like, kind of, for some reason, cool thing. The Mile High Club. And it's like, oh, like you're getting away with some.

[Brady]

Just a.

[John Holmberg]

You're on the. You're on earth. You're in a bathroom. Class it up a little bit. You know, if there's a toilet near you, There's a line of people outside that have to pee your poop, and you're clogging it up. It's gross. Now I get it. If you're, like, married or you're together and you're like. You're trying to be risque. I follow me. And you're having a night. She lets you play around. And once you've done that, you're just trying to mix it up. But the first. First words out of your mouth, you come to the bathroom and stick it in. No, thank you.

[Brett Vesli]

Imagine I'm doing it this place. After, like, Mark used to go in there. Jesus christ.

[John Holmberg]

Unloads his 12 pounds of ramen from last night, goes into our toilet. Man, you're in a. It wouldn't work. It doesn't work anywhere. In a weird way, I blame the feminist movement. We used to be able to do stuff like that at work. Not ask him to go to the bathroom to have sex, but, like, be a little bit more open about sexual tension in the workplace that's been taken away. So some dudes just are built up, and then they end up going to bars and saying crazy stuff instead of just getting it out of the system. You know, joking around about sex in front of the ladies at work. You're not allowed to do that anymore. In a lot of places, you can't even have conversations. So it all bottles up, and then it comes. Vesuvius style. When you're talking to ladies at a bar. I couldn't believe it. And the way she handled it was like, that's normal. I don't know what I would have done if I was the one. Like, what are you. I would have quizzed him. Like, are you kidding me? That's the move. Want to have sex in the bathroom? Come on.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

Get something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] nearly home.

[Realtor.com Announcer]

Isn't home where we all want to be? Reba, here for realtor.com, the Pro's number one most trusted app. Finding a home is like dating. You're not just looking for a place to live. You're searching for the one. That's where realtor.com comes in. Like any good matchmaker, they know exactly where to look. With over 500,000 new real listings straight from the pros, Every month. You could find your perfect match today. Ranch style with a pool. Barndominium with an in Law Suite. Realtor.com's got em modern craftsmen with a big yard and a treehouse out back. Realtor.com will have you saying yep, that's the one. No more swapping. It's time to start from finding. Download the realtor.com app today cause you're nearly home. Make it real with realtor.com pros.

[Brett Vesli]

Number one most trusted app based on August 2025 proprietary survey. Over 500,000 new listings every month based on average new for sale and rental listings.

[John Holmberg]

July 2024 to June 2025.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

Homeburg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Stacy just emailed me and said my emails are like, everybody's like, you know, it's funny. You'll get those. Stick to fart jokes. Don't. Don't be political. I'm not being political. I'm being opposite. But I can talk about anything I want. And, but people say that. And then all my emails are about what's going on. Like everybody's. Everyone's yell at me and then tell me not to talk about it. It says Holmberg. Stacy, I agree. I'm with you on this a little bit. I don't understand it. I'm gonna answer this before I even read it. I don't know. It says, do you feel empathy for people who are trying to do the right thing and get attacked or then they get pepper sprayed or mistreated? It sounds terrible when you and Brett say you like watching hippies get hit in the nuts. Hilarious. That is my question anyone's ever asked me. Do you feel any empathy for when hippies get hit in the nuts? And I can honestly tell you, no.

[Brett Vesli]

0.

[John Holmberg]

I could be on the hippie side and I'm.

[Brady]

It's like watching someone fall down.

[John Holmberg]

I can't.

[Brady]

You know, like, you know, we could.

[John Holmberg]

Be on the same side. Guys, you're terrible people. I can't believe what you're doing. And then somebody hits the hippie next to me in the nuts and we are in. We're simpatico. And you would just hear. That's all. I would just, you got hit right in the nuts. Like, no matter what, that's funny. She says you. Yeah, it sounds terrible when you and Brett say you quote, like watching hippies get hit in the nuts. Hilarious. I, I don't want to be friends with anybody who doesn't. If I met somebody and I'm like, hey, you're a good guy. You want to Go golf. And he's like, yeah, just one thing. I draw the line. If you think hippies getting hit in the nuts, it's funny. I'm like, ah, we can't be friends. You seem so great up until that born.

[Brady]

That hippie that got hit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Ask that guy if. Anyway, she says that that guy was standing up for something and sacrificed himself for the greater good. I love you for jokes, but why don't you have feelings, Stacy? Here's what I say about that. If he stood up for the greater good. A, what's his name? Remember him? B, find him and say, do you wish you'd have moved? When the guy with the pepper with the big beanbag gun said, and nothing.

[Brady]

To say, but wasn't that there were people. What'd they call him? That they just went to the events to stir it up.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care why. I don't care why he was there. He could have been there for, like, a dog. Cause which is my heart. And he's standing in the middle of the road, and a dude with a gun that shoots giant bags of beans at his balls is saying, move. And he didn't. Protect these puppies. The protect the puppies look, the protect the puppies thing for me goes. And you brought your dog a snatch in today. What's his name? Catch.

[Brady]

Catch.

[John Holmberg]

You brought Snatch the dog. I forgot for a second. And if I got a dude aiming a weapon at me saying, that's enough. Protect the puppies. March. And I'm like, all right, I think we made our point here. Go ask that guy if he. If he's proud of all he accomplished when that hippie got caught in the balls. And look, protect the puppies if a hippie gets hit in the nuts. Maybe I don't have feelings, maybe I'm part sociopath, but I find it funny. It's funny because it's not me. But I guarantee you ask that guy. He's not exactly sitting there going, I do it again. I bet I haven't seen him at any more marches as the nut dude. He's the bravest man we've got in Phoenix. I bet you that guy was like, I don't ever have that happen again. I got a little fired up over whatever, whatever. I don't even know what he was marching for. I don't care.

[Brett Vesli]

I think his black lives matter.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't matter, Trump.

[Brett Vesli]

I'm gonna watch it right now.

[John Holmberg]

There it is again. And look, everybody else moved. And he's kicking tear canisters. He's Got a gas mask, which. Which means he wants to be part of this.

[Brady]

And they're telling them to leave.

[John Holmberg]

He just takes it in the ball. I don't care if that was to save babies.

[Brett Vesli]

Let's watch it again.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. Bam.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, that is a direct and to that cop that did it. You asshole. But what a shot.

[Brady]

Just misses the wagon. And there's Kaepernick.

[John Holmberg]

Then Colin Kaepernick comes out and saves the day.

[Brady]

His own business.

[John Holmberg]

Just. But look at everybody else is like, dude's gonna shoot you in the balls. If I own a gas mask, I'm going places. They gas people. That doesn't seem like something I want to do. And no, maybe I don't have feelings. Maybe you caught me on that one.

[Brett Vesli]

My God, it looks like Doug Hopkins.

[John Holmberg]

Or is that Hop? I don't think Hopkins would have.

[Brett Vesli]

No, no, I'm just saying look at the guy. Wait, watch after he gets hit.

[John Holmberg]

Which one? Kaepernick?

[Brett Vesli]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

All right, there's that. That guy goes down, hitting the nuts. Hippie in the nuts.

[Brett Vesli]

This guy right here. When they go up.

[John Holmberg]

And then Doug Hopkins is buying people's houses right there at the march. Right. There it is. That's Hopkins.

[Brett Vesli]

I got five grand for you, bro. Got five grand.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing out there, Dougie? Ooh, there's the Doug Hopkins guarantee right there.

[Brett Vesli]

You know what? I've never gotten hit in the nuts with a pepper ball. Never been in a situation where I was going to.

[John Holmberg]

Because if I'm going anywhere with you, and I'm like, hey, what's with the gas mask? Just trust me. We're gonna have some fun.

[Brady]

I'm getting out, and let's cross the barriers. We're not supposed to.

[John Holmberg]

Let's stand there when those guys with those giant guns are yelling at us to move. I'm like, I'm gonna move. Like, that is when I'm going home. Jamie Rosales says, you know who you don't see at any of these rallies? Us Mexicans. They used to be the ones maddest about this. But they know. They know is incon is in going their way. So let's come up with a new plan. Smart. And I do.

[Brady]

In the fact of you're going over there and getting detained. It could be a mistake. You don't want to take any chances.

[John Holmberg]

Like, you're. Like. They're the ones that are showing true. Like, there it is. Because they're like, I'm scared of ice. I'm staying away from it. And it's all these hippies.

[Brady]

Can you afford taking two weeks away from work? Not intentionally.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Unplanned blacks aren't there either. It seems to be just a bunch of really angry whites. And I'm. Whatever, that's great. Go get them. But once the. Once the. Once you have to put a gas mask on, it's pretty much over. Live to fight another day, they say. Now the ref is stopping it. Sometimes your favorite side loses around. But quit yelling at me about not having feelings. Because if you don't think hippies getting hit in the balls ever. It's funny. I'm empathetic for the fact that I've been punched in the pills before and it's like, no fun. But also, I didn't stand there. Like, we have those videos, Bread shows when ladies are just kicking dudes in the balls. And like, what are you doing? I don't have empathy for when you put yourself in a situation that somebody could hit you in the nuts. And if you're wearing a gas mask, you know, you know the dude shooting gas hatches, like, well, we're not going to get to him. So what else you got? Sandbag. I could hit him in the balls with it. Give him one of those.

[Brady]

Well, you can plan ahead. March 28th.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Another march for kings. Not having kings, which we don't, but. Okay. And bring your gas masks. I just don't get it. So. No, I don't. And if that dude's name was, like, legendary because we had to build statues after he got hit in the nuts. And then laws changed, but nothing happened. He got hit in the nuts essentially for nothing. I mean, he just ran around in the city for a night or two and was mad. And people like, all right, that's enough. You're allowed to be mad, but that's enough. And then they nutted him, and no one knows who he is. He's the dude. I guarantee he's the dude in the office that every birthday, like, hey, it's Brian's birthday. And then they show the videos. He gives your dicks. Like, that is a joke between his friends and his.

[Brett Vesli]

His widow. Gifts. A box or a bag of pepper balls.

[John Holmberg]

Bag of pepper balls or a thing of ice from Circle K. Sit on this. Or peas.

[Brady]

I'm forgetting. But what was that protest?

[John Holmberg]

We don't know. And I don't even care. Don't even look into it. It doesn't matter. Because all the protests are the same. It's angry and nothing changes. So it doesn't work. Travis says, does Stacy's mom still have it going on? If not, shut up, lady, and get in the kitchen. All right, that's too far, Travis. Now, I got empathy for Stacy with that, but it would be nice if you made us something.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

The nicest man in the world. Jim Manley, texted and said, all right, it's impossible to eat my breakfast this morning between your strawberry homeless man nose comp and then the Belichick fingers. And then went back to the very first break of the show where I feel like if something says person has notifications silenced, I assume that's just for me. And then it says, jim has notifications silenced. And I'm like, did you just silence me? And he goes, no, but I did have to shut the show off to finish breakfast. I'm not gonna talk about Belichick's Captain Hook anymore, but deep down, we all know it's happening. You just hate when reality shows up uninvited. Reality's a dick. That's a great T shirt. Reality's a dick. Boy, is it because it shows up uninvited.

[Brady]

Press them already.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Sorry about that. I just have a thing for strawberries, and I've told people that. And it. You know what? And the reason I know I'm right about it is because everybody goes, oh, come on. Because they don't go, no, it. It's nothing like that. No one's ever argued my point that biting a strawberry is the same as biting a homeless man's giant, alcoholic, blackhead filled note. It's the same, and nobody's ever gone, oh, that's not. You just never thought about it and think about me. Put yourself. Be empathetic to me. My brain came up with that. That's not like, that's the world I live in that I. That I thought of that.

[Brett Vesli]

How do you come up with strawberries in WC Fields nose?

[John Holmberg]

Cause they look the same.

[Brady]

His nose is delicious.

[John Holmberg]

You take a bite of that, and that burst of flavor comes out. Close your eyes and eat a strawberry and tell me I'm wrong. Nobody who likes discouraged me.

[Brady]

I mean, it's. I have a ton of strawberries, but I like them.

[John Holmberg]

You're an outlier. I think if you found a strawberry, take it to the next level and.

[Brady]

Go to San Diego and go to that. You pick up field.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're picking up homeless guys.

[Brady]

Oh, the strawberries that are overriped and.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Brady]

Juicy noses that are.

[John Holmberg]

That's what you do in San Diego. You go to. We did it one time do manual labor.

[Brady]

Kirby was young. It's fun.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, up until like a month from now, we got people for that. It isn't. You took your daughter. There's beaches and like sea world.

[Brady]

It's right near. There's one real close to legoland.

[John Holmberg]

You guys went and did migrant work? Yeah. For why it's good lesson. You paid for it, didn't you? Oh, yeah. Worst vacation idea I've ever heard in my life.

[Brett Vesli]

I want to see what it show Kirby what it was like to not live in Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, if we go to the best western and give them 20 bucks, we get to clean some rooms.

[Brady]

If they had that option, I would have for sure done that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm positive. That's a great vacation spot. Hey, do you want to help us pick strawberries? Yeah, my whole family does when I was growing up. You want to give us $20 for that? Oh, that's it. What a deal. You can keep the strawberries. Oh, my gosh. For $20, I get strawberries. I can't go to the store and get them for four. You pick them? Yeah. How much was it?

[Brady]

What? You know, I don't know, like 10 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

To go pick strawberries?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're at the store for cheaper.

[Brady]

You can pick out your own gems.

[John Holmberg]

You could do that.

[Brett Vesli]

When I was a lot of Costco.

[Brady]

Too, When my grandfather retired down in Florida, we would go pick oranges and grapefruit.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure. Would you paid to do it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady]

They have it probably down here?

[John Holmberg]

No, we'll drive through or doing them a favor. My house, we put. There's a bucket.

[Brady]

I know. Well, now there's so many in the yards, but there used to be, you know, you'd go to the orchard.

[John Holmberg]

How much was. How much did you pay the strawberry pickers to pick to do their jobs? That's reasonable. If it's more than four bucks, basically say it.

[Brady]

It's like 1295 for. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You know, you get like, as many strawberries as you need at trader Joe's for six bucks.

[Brady]

And then you never finish them in your hotel room. You got a giant basket of.

[John Holmberg]

That is the stupidest thing anyone's ever told me.

[Brett Vesli]

Brady just talked me out of ever going on vacation with him.

[John Holmberg]

Poor Caitlin was abducted by Brady last summer and then forced to do migrant work.

[Brady]

Well, hers was different. She had to make shoes for a day.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand that. Like, I go, you paid someone to go pick something that's readily available for much cheaper at a store because you didn't get like, no, it's cheaper than the store. No, it's not. 12.95 for strawberries.

[Brady]

Somehow it works out to be.

[John Holmberg]

No. You're telling them.

[Brady]

You're cutting out the middleman.

[John Holmberg]

You paid more to do the work. Then you could have just gone to.

[Brady]

Trader Joe's and it was the tail end.

[John Holmberg]

You had to really get in there because they were running out.

[Brett Vesli]

They had to get rid of them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had to. They were the bad ones. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah.

[Brady]

It's like going to the pumpkin patch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This guy says, brady's made bad decisions since I've listened to this show about strawberries. That's a terrible one. And remember when he would give his mom sexy chocolate covered strawberry? Yeah, that's. Yeah, that was weird, too. You knew about that, right?

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Every year he used to send.

[Brett Vesli]

We just talked about it the other.

[John Holmberg]

Day, like, Mother's Day. There's mom dirty.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, I thought it was Valentine's Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was Mother's Day. I think it was Valentine's Day, too.

[Brady]

Yeah, but it was mostly Mother's Day on. On that one. But they're available.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is a sexy. And some lingerie. Send over some lingerie. Strawberry panties, Mom. Sure, why not? If it's strawberries, Brady will make a bad setup. This one says slaves would be rolling in their graves. They do the same thing at local farms. And I've never felt more white. Well, we get to do what the migrants do. There's a gem. Kerbert herbs. Hey, man, we could have gotten these at the Trader Joe's.

[Brady]

Dad, it's gonna surprise you. It didn't become a tradition going to San Diego.

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't even know how you found it.

[Brady]

It's right there on the field on the Legoland, right off the highway.

[John Holmberg]

It's close to Legoland. And you chose strawberry picking.

[Brady]

Well, we went to both, but this was. You know, you want to get some strawberries?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. She thought you meant at the store.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, everybody would if you said, you want to get some burgers. I'm not. And you pulled up at the slaughterhouse and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Brady]

It was a good. You know, she's crying the whole time. Good lesson. Keep picking.

[John Holmberg]

My back. Stay bent down like this.

[Brady]

Use your legs.

[John Holmberg]

That is weird. This Guy says if you play, I'm with Brett. You play Green Day. I'm done listening for the whole day. It destroys your day. See your green day. And then Christopher says the whiny, crybaby C word. Sea suckers. Like, you're famous. Get the F over it. Be a man. I can't effing stand Green Day, man.

[Brett Vesli]

See?

[John Holmberg]

Same with Linkin Park. At least he had the decency to die. What is going on out there? Guys are jerks. Oh, my gosh. All right, I'm gonna leave it up to Brady to make more bad choices. Sorry about the strawberry thing. Coconut's no different. But.

[Brady]

Won'T ever do that one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, man.

[Brady]

Pick your own coconuts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hoofing up trees with some Tongan underneath hitting you in the ass. Yeah. Manly says you're solely responsible for the reduction in Arizona strawberry sales. Look, it's not my fault. That's what they are. Like, think of me, Jim. My brain came up with that. That's what my brain does to me. That's why you go to therapy. My brain does that.

[Brett Vesli]

This guy said, it's also your brain that thinks about your dad's noises the same as yours when having sex.

[John Holmberg]

Right? This isn't fair. Like, I'm living a different life than you guys. I can't listen to REO Speedwagon and not think of my mom singing it. And then she's thinking, like, the whole time she's singing it, she's like, oh, I need some of that Dan dick. Like, I have to know that that's right behind. And it was. And all I needed to do was go out and play. And that was what was gonna happen. I can't fight this feeling anymore. Yuck. That's my brain. You live with it for a day. It's miserable up here. Bite into a strawberry, and the first thing, your brain goes, ugh. It's like a homeless man's nose. Like, why did you do. You know, I couldn't eat guacamole for years because I. It tasted like a dirty sock, wet sock to me. Like, I don't know what a dirty, wet sock tastes like, but that's what I assumed it would take, and I couldn't do it.

[Brady]

Ryan Alexander says, don't worry about John. He's not bought groceries a day in his life. He has no idea what a bunch of strawberries at Costco costs.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't go to Costco. I mean, like, 4,000. I did yesterday.

[Brett Vesli]

They're 5.99 for a two pound pack.

[Brady]

Brett Knows.

[John Holmberg]

First off, I'm not ordering strawberries when I doordash my groceries to the house. Second, even with the extra charge, it's not 12.95.

[Brady]

Are you discouraged from eating them now?

[John Holmberg]

And hold on a second, Ryan Alexander. Why do you think I haven't gone grocery shopping in my life? He knows I don't wear this jacket. But you still have to eat. What do you think? I'm just. You're incredibly.

[Brady]

You get them delivered. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

There's people for that for now. Until ICE takes care of it. But now it's awesome. You get a little charge on the end there and your groceries just sitting on your porch.

[Brett Vesli]

Brady was just kind of doing the preemptive thing just in case ICE strikes in the area.

[John Holmberg]

He's doing a bath.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That ice thing's got me nervous. For my strawberry volume. Fill the freezer. Herb and herbs. We're going to San Diego. Into the beach, man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Eventually we'll get there. We have to earn our keep.

[Brady]

And when we go to the beach, she has to pick up trash for two hours.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't you? And you got to pay the local city. We'll take your turn. $30 to pick up some trash.

[FanDuel Announcer]

Are you the guy that brings that.

[John Holmberg]

Treasure finder to the beach?

[Brady]

No, but I will.

[John Holmberg]

Did it just. Yeah. Did it just dawn on you today, though, that you paid and they laughed like they should have paid you? Like minimum. Yeah, like minimum. Minimum wage, like migrant worker, $50 an hour kind of stuff. But how about that?

[Brady]

But they don't. They're not keeping. I. I'm keeping what you keep what you pick. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And you're still doing them a humongous. Paying for it. Yeah. They're short a few Mexicans that day and they gotta do it once.

[Brett Vesli]

But Chris Valenzuela's couldn't make it that.

[John Holmberg]

Day, so you gotta do it once.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't. I'm gonna make it through my whole life never being in a field of Mexicans picking strawberries. I guarantee it.

[Brady]

There weren't.

[John Holmberg]

Of course there weren't. And the white people wouldn't have shown up.

[Brady]

They were sitting.

[John Holmberg]

It's a scam.

[Brady]

Laughing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a scam.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

It's something. Something. Check out Homburg's morning sickness podcast at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

I've just got sent the. The video of the people at Zips getting hosed off by that truck. And that guy's probably going to get fired. I just watched the video. The Protesters who again, I'm like, they're standing outside the Zips. I'm not sure they even know why they're there. But then Homeland Security comes by, and I can't help it. The lady asked earlier if I have feelings. I do. And this is wrong because I haven't seen this yet, But I just watched it.

[Brady]

I haven't seen it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's a home. I'll send it to Brett. It's a Homeland Security video or a truck that. That goes by, and then dude just reaches out the passenger window and hoses a woman in the face with pepper spray. I know. Me too. And it's terrible. I don't want to laugh. It is terrible. But, yeah, I did it to my go. It's like. It's like NFL's hard hits. It looks awful. If it's illegal, you should get flagged, and the guy's probably gonna lose his job. You can't just drive by. He got mossed out and hose people. It doesn't mean.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, it's on tmz.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it doesn't mean all of the officers are terrible, but it certainly doesn't send a good message to just drive by. I didn't see that when the guy emailed me this morning and said, they're just shooting chemicals at people. I haven't seen that. Now I have. I don't know the context. And I always try to keep a cooler head with all this and not react because what we're famous for as humans is overreacting. Instead of, I will react when I know. And it sounds dumb because everybody just wants reaction immediately. I'm not looking for anything other than just, first a. First blush, this dude's gonna lose his job. Second blush, I'm kind of laughing at it because it's just terrible to do to somebody.

[Brett Vesli]

And it's.

[John Holmberg]

It seems so wildly unnecessary. And then I'm also thinking to myself, this is why I don't go do this stuff. You never know when a loose. Like these dudes have had it. Like, they're on. They're on the fringe. And he had some shrill lady screaming the whole time. She didn't deserve it. But my God, is it similar?

[Brady]

Like, you know, like the protesting. Like when you ask joining fraternity if you know there's a good chance you're gonna get pepper sprayed.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not doing it. You know, I will write letters. I will get. I'll Ted Kaczynski this stuff and just write weird letters from a cabin and just avoid the pepper spray.

[Brett Vesli]

This Looks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it looks terrible. Uh, but I think this guy. I mean, he's gonna get fired and deserves to be good, probably, if this video is all that needs to be seen. I don't know what led up to this. I don't know how, if she was warned or if this is like the fifth pass and she's been trying to hit their car. So I don't know what happened. But it does, on first glance, look as if a car just drives by and hoses a woman off. And I can't imagine that the HSI officer would do that and lose his job, but, boy, if he did, he's going to. And it's terrible. And. But it is. I mean, Brad is gonna laugh and it's gonna make me laugh, and I hate that that's just screaming at him. First one goes by and second one just goes, that's enough of you, boosh. And he just. All right. See, I knew Brett would find it hysterical.

[Brady]

It is hysterical.

[John Holmberg]

I don't find it as funny, except for the fact that you do, but I don't know what led up to it. And then there's a lady carrying her dog around. Don't bring your goddamn dogs to the protest. That's my rule. I'll march against that dog. What happens if there is pepper spray out? Jesus. She just got hosed off. And then they just keep going. Now, here's the thing that I need context with. These guys are leaving, right? So something happened before all this video.

[Brady]

Stuff at the truck.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know, but evidently on their way to the truck. Maybe, I don't know. I need more because I personally can't imagine a dude just goes, watch this from the car and risks everybody's life or jobs, right? But this lady does get a full on hosing. Which. Which one was this? That looks like the one on 32nd Street. And Shea, may I bring you something? Anyway, it looks terrible. And if that's all that, you know, if there's no extra to that story that he's gonna get fired and so is the dude driving. Unless he, you know, arrested him on the spot. But I don't know. That dude's got a powerful hose too. I need to rephrase that.

[Brett Vesli]

I was just gonna say Rico Blaze.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that is a. Anyway, I don't know the story.

[Brady]

Am I not even be a government truck?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. It just looks like a dude who's test driving a car. I went to Dodge dealership and I got tired of getting yelled at. People get mad at me. For that. And I feel like I need to, like, because I wait to have a response. You know, I didn't wait to have the response when I saw that lady carrying her Labrador. I want you to take your dog to a protest. If the lad that dog doesn't know and you don't need it getting pepper sprayed in case everything goes pear shaped. What are you doing?

[Brady]

I have my baby with me.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett Vesli]

They don't even know what they're out there protesting.

[John Holmberg]

And even if that's the problem, people get upset with me. Like, you didn't react my way. And I'm like, I didn't. I haven't reacted at all because I don't know what happened. I just saw one thing. Can we all do that?

[Brady]

Which is interesting because if they're, you know, they're protecting zips.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In a way. On the protest, like, stop.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what they're doing. I don't know what the story is. I don't know how to be mad yet. I can be reactionary mad and say, this is exactly what I think happened and that, but I don't know that that's right. And we all go banana. Like, my emails all morning have kind of been frustrating because it's like, you see this, you do this, like. Yeah, I don't know how to react to it. I didn't see the whole thing. But I know that a 12 second clip doesn't tell me the whole story. If it does, that dude's getting fired. Like, if it was bad before and then ended with this, like, that guy is not capable of doing the job. And that's. That's where I want to land. I want to land in smart. I don't want to land in reactionary. Everybody's yelling. It looks terrible. Optics are bad.

[Brady]

Well, you can't identify the guy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they absolutely know who it is. They know the truck. They know everything. He was in a. He was in a lit truck. The front of the thing has red and blues on it. They know exactly who did that. I mean, that's. There's a reason why they were yelling at that truck and I just had. Had it or. Or something else was going on. I just, I. I think I'm just.

[Brett Vesli]

Becoming numb to it.

[John Holmberg]

Me too.

[Brett Vesli]

But I'm cooler all over the Internet. It's all over where I'm like, to the point now. I'm like, I don't care. You know what I'm saying?

[John Holmberg]

I'm Jay Cutler. I'm with you. I'm kind of in this thing where it's like you can't win a discussion. You can't talk to somebody with reason. I feel like with reason to say, let's just calm down. We can't calm down. They're taking up like, okay, we can calm down and find out exactly what happened. I might be on that side. I might join you and say this is out of control. But so far what I've seen is a lot of wrong on everybody's end. Clashing and escalating crap into more crap.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

Yeah, there's something, something. Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

It's time now for Rock wars, the weekly battle of musical supremacy. It's a meta topic. It's a heavy topic. It's fun, though. Basically you take a song, not the lyrics that you got wrong. People misunderstood what I was saying. It's basically like when I say picture Share when Vol beats on, or picture Weird Al Yankovic when Offspring is playing and it kind of messes up. Like I hear it and then you don't ever unhear it, but do it to another one. Find there's tons of them. Spongebob makes an appearance in a lot of rock songs and it messes stuff. There's a Stone Temple pilot song. He's in Linkin park. So I don't know if you guys chose those, but that's what we got. So that's what I'm talking about. And the suggestions were pretty fantastic today. Nice job. You got it.

[Brett Vesli]

I'm gonna go with something. Yeah, it's fine.

[John Holmberg]

You got. I got something. It. Brought to you by mo money pond. Shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to over $100,000. No credit needed and top dollar paid with the entire process just taking several minutes. Mo Money Pawn.com, 12th street and Indian School. Brady, you seem to have something in order. Let's go with you first.

[Brady]

I did. I got an assist. I want to thank JG for this because I had never heard. I mean, I. I'm very familiar with his song, but when he presented it that way. Yeah, it ruined it for.

[John Holmberg]

Close your eyes. Close your eyes.

[Brady]

Thunderstruck acdc.

[John Holmberg]

And picture Alvin and the Chipmunks. All right. And you don't have to alter at the beginning. I'm going to close my. I'm going see if Brady can ruin this classic song. John Gordon gave him a little help on this. See the A in the sweater. Here it comes. We'll play the whole goddamn int.

[Brett Vesli]

Didn't you give him a time?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he just didn't. Brady.

[Brett Vesli]

Toledo.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo.

[Podcast Promos Voice]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We'Ll get to it eventually. Everybody remember. It's a nice build up, though. It works. God damn it. It's alpha. Hate you guys for that one. I'm never not gonna.

[Brett Vesli]

That's a win, that little sweater. Unless you got something.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta go. I got a good one. It might not be as obvious as that. Well, it is, and you're gonna laugh at mine. What do you got?

[Brett Vesli]

All right, we're gonna go with. This guy brought it up. And now I can't unhear it.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Brett Vesli]

It's not one of his most popular songs, but in a lot of his songs, you'll hear it. Danzig sounds like Donkey from Shrek, right? That's on mine.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Come on, Shrek. Get out of here. God damn it. I don't even know the song. Thank God I'll never hear that again. Does Mother have Shrek vibes?

[Brett Vesli]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't.

[Brett Vesli]

I didn't really dig that deep, but as soon as I pulled that one.

[John Holmberg]

Up, I was all like, the one with the funeral pile. Hello, Shrek. What's going on? Gonna sing a little song right now. I'm a big Dantic fan. I love that Danzig. He seems crazy. I love it. This was going. Mother. Oh, man. What are we doing? Why did I pick this? Mother right there. Trying to pick it. Tell your children not to.

[Brett Vesli]

Not as much in this one.

[John Holmberg]

No, not as bad. All right, all right. Mine's going to make you giggle. If you're a Buffalo Bills fan, I'm going to wreck something big for you. They play a song in Buffalo that's become like an anthem. Play this for their team. Yeah. And every time I've heard this song, I only. Close your eyes. Go down this road with me. It's Jerry Seinfeld falling asleep, and she's.

[Brady]

Calling a cab while he's having the smoke.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know why. That's all I hear.

[Brett Vesli]

I can hear it. Some of his.

[Brady]

Chest.

[John Holmberg]

When they get to the chorus.

[Brett Vesli]

Mr.

[John Holmberg]

Bright side. This part. That's all I hear. Well, this is the. The wrong. So.

[Brett Vesli]

I have to play this at every wedding. Every weekend, too.

[John Holmberg]

That's all I see, all I hear. Seinfeld.

[Brett Vesli]

And then. Then the honorable mentions are welcome to the jungles. Edith Bunker.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus. ACDC always has had a Marge Simpson thing. Yeah. Crazy. Anyway, texters are saying, I don't understand.

[FanDuel Announcer]

It's not misheard lyrics.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not.

[Brett Vesli]

Misconduct.

[John Holmberg]

Never, ever even mentioned lyrics. I just said this like, you have a. Like, you know, again, I'm ready to concede Brady's because that was the most Alvin of. Yeah, I think that's a pretty solid one. I'm short on time. Whoops. Sorry. We'll go to one call. That's it.

[FanDuel Announcer]

Like this guy says, the Foo Fighters Pretender. Reminds me of the Sesame street song. One of these Things is not like the other.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's whatever. Singing that would remind you. All right, let's see if anybody's got the vote here. Let me go. Hi, there. Who's this Timothy who wins the Chancellor? I want it. I don't know. Why?

[Brady]

Come on. Who's last? Last?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who's in last? Timothy, are you there? Yes, sir. Who came in last? Oh, Bogan by a mile. Oh, man. Yeah, that's bias. I'm gonna go with another one. I think that guy was just John.

[Brett Vesli]

Gordon's calling over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it did seem tainted. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.