01-28-26 - Emailers Give Thanks For Our Take On Zipps Raid And John Admits He May Have Once Human Trafficked - Guy At Rah Rah Room Twice Asked Girl To Go Have Sex In Restroom

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode: 01-28-26 – Emailers Give Thanks For Our Take On Zipps Raid And John Admits He May Have Once Human Trafficked – Guy At Rah Rah Room Twice Asked Girl To Go Have Sex In Restroom
Date: January 28, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

In this episode, John Holmberg and the crew dive into listener reactions to their coverage of the high-profile Zipps restaurant raid, tackle serious issues like mental health and human trafficking, and also veer into humorous territory with a bar story involving an unusually direct bathroom proposition. The show’s trademark blend of irreverence, honesty, and “voice of reason” philosophy threads through both sensitive topics and lighter moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Feedback and Impact of Openness (01:09–03:42)

• Holmberg reads listener emails expressing gratitude for his candidness about therapy and mental health.
  • One listener thanks John for being open about seeking therapy, stating it helped them seek help as well. - “Your openness about that helped me take those steps. I think you should know how much good you do.” (Chris, 01:20)
• John jokes about his own struggles helping others and the lingering stigma for men around mental health.
  • “We don't like to go. We want to get everything off our chest, but we want to choose who to do it with and want to pay somebody to have to listen to you. It's better that way.” (John, 02:57)
• Importance of breaking the mental health stigma for men, and likening therapy to “organizing your desk.”

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2. The Zipps Raid: Caution, Law Enforcement, and Human Trafficking (03:42–12:01)

Emailers with law enforcement backgrounds chime in:

• The “let the dust settle” approach advocated by John receives validation from a listener involved in the Zipps raid at a high level.
  • Email excerpts clarify they weren’t conducting basic immigration enforcement but addressing a trafficking situation, and protesters didn’t understand the context.
  • “What went on at Zipps... there are some things naturally tying back to immigration because this is a trafficking situation.” (Heath, 04:08)
• John reiterates that human trafficking is often misunderstood, relays that it's not just “nabbing kids out of a mall,” but includes moving people, offering safe places, and employment under the table.
  • “I was a human trafficker. I can tell you from experience that I didn’t know it…I was a human trafficker for a while at Tony Roma’s.” (John, 05:42)

Holmberg’s “accidental human trafficking” confessional:

• Recounts hiring multiple workers at Tony Roma’s, all using the name “Chris Valenzuela,” many living together in crowded apartments.
• Reflects that, unknowingly, he had enabled a system of human trafficking—moving and sheltering people for work, unintentionally contributing to the problem.

“It was like we were just running families through here to get a couple bucks… We were human trafficking, that's what that is.” (John, 08:05)

• Emphasizes: the situation at Zipps is complex, law enforcement are targeting the “head honchos,” and activists should be careful not to escalate situations they don’t fully understand.
  • “Don’t go over there and protest unless you know what they’re up to.” (John, 11:26)

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3. Wisdom on Protesting and Escalation (13:32–18:50)

• John discusses the protests, cautioning listeners about getting involved without full knowledge.
  • “If you start pushing FBI agents, you might be the dumbest person alive. What are you doing? Turn the news off.” (John, 13:54)
• Notes emails from Homeland Security contacts, explaining that the federal raid was not routine and urging caution to would-be protesters.
• Expresses concern over people risking harm for causes without full context and the dangers of provoking law enforcement.
  • “Be smarter, that’s all. Don’t push people who are wearing those [badges].” (John, 15:44)
• Humorous aside about French subtitling replacing the N-word with “friend,” imagining French audiences being very confused by American pop culture (“Training Day with ‘friend’ instead of the N-word,” 14:46).

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4. Street-Level Commentary: Pepper Spray and Protest Tactics (16:10–18:50)

• The show pokes fun at perennial protest risks: “Once someone gets a bullhorn and says, this is an unlawful gathering, you’re going to get pepper sprayed.”
• John jokes about hippies getting “jacked in the nuts with a pepper ball,” but maintains that both sides can be in the wrong.
  • “Anytime a group of people has chemicals, let them be the ones that look bad.” (John, 18:51)
  • “It’s because I care about you. Not the hippie so much. You guys go get kicked in the nuts all day. I can’t stand you.” (John, 18:30)
• Overarching message: “The protests are fine, but I don't think this is what you think it is. And I don't want to see people getting pepper balls… For what? Clicks? More news? We don't need it.” (John, 18:51)

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5. Bar Story: The Direct Approach at the Rah Rah Room (18:51–35:34)

Memorable Story: "Want to have sex in the bathroom?"

• John tells a vivid story about a guy at the Rah Rah Room bar who twice directly propositioned a woman to have sex in the bathroom—mid-conversation.
  • “In the middle of her sentence, he goes, do you want to go to the bathroom with me? I'm like, that's aggressive. […] Is that a move that’s worked ever?” (John, 21:01)
  • The group marvels at the boldness of the approach, speculating if the “ask immediately” tactic ever actually gets results.
  • The woman’s nonchalance leads John to conclude this is disturbingly normal with younger men.
  • “Some guys just ask now, like, in the younger ones…” (Corinna, via John, 21:36)
• The guys analyze if the porn generation has encouraged “shortcut” approaches to sex, skipping basic socialization.
• The story unfolds with comic asides—about the man’s confidence, repeated attempts, and the strange logic behind the approach.

Group’s Reaction:

• Co-hosts discuss the “numbers game” for men propositioning women, referencing a Kevin Smith anecdote where Jason Mewes would ask 100 women a day, succeeding with 1 or 2.
• John relates his own “easily discouraged” nature, contrasting with guys who keep trying after rejection.
  • “I'm easily discouraged…I can be having a conversation with someone, in the middle of it, just like, ‘They hate me.’” (John, 30:38)

Humorous Moments & Quotes:

• “I just laugh at it… That's what I do for my time. I observe.” (John, 32:48)
• “If anybody… had she broken out the pepper spray, I wouldn’t have fought. I’d have laughed. It all goes full circle. You push your boundaries, pepper spray comes out.” (John, 33:16)

ChatGPT Jokes:

• “Did you ask her to lick your balls in the bathroom? Yes. She said no. That wasn’t part of the ChatGPT plan.” (John, 29:05)

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6. On Confidence, Money, and Perception at the Bar (33:24–35:34)

• Listeners text in, asking if the aggressive man’s confidence stemmed from wealth. John doubts it, noting the venue isn’t high-end and he himself “wear[s] children’s clothes” and isn’t “auditioning for anyone.”

  • The woman in question was independently wealthy, with a high-end vintage Bronco, so she wasn’t seeking a financial savior.
  • “I happen to know that the lady he was talking to is loaded, so she’s not working from an ‘I need money guy’ thing.” (John, 34:25)

• John wraps it up with resigned encouragement:

  • “Anyway, keep shooting your shots, boys. I will always be the guy who can’t do that. I just laugh at it.” (John, 35:34)

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Saving lives.” (John Holmberg, 02:31)
• “Let the dust settle before we all react.” (Listener email, cited by John, 04:00)
• “I was a human trafficker… didn’t know it.” (John Holmberg, 05:42)
• “If you start pushing FBI agents, you might be the dumbest person alive.” (John Holmberg, 13:54)
• “Be smarter, that’s all. Don’t push people who are wearing those [badges].” (John Holmberg, 15:44)
• “If there's people out there right now, whose bodies just cringe because they've had Porta John sex… they’re pigs.” (John Holmberg, 25:20)
• “I’m easily discouraged…I can be having a conversation with someone, in the middle of it, just like, ‘They hate me.’” (John Holmberg, 30:38)
• “Keep shooting your shots, boys. I will always be the guy who can't do that. I just laugh at it.” (John Holmberg, 35:34)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:09] – Listener thanks for therapy candidness
• [03:42] – Emails about the Zipps incident and “let the dust settle” wisdom
• [05:40] – John’s self-assessed role in “accidental human trafficking”
• [13:32] – Perspective from Homeland Security; risk of uninformed protesting
• [15:44] – “Be smarter, don’t push FBI agents.”
• [18:51] – Bar story: The bold “bathroom sex” proposition
• [25:20] – Porta John sex critique
• [30:37] – “Numbers game” and rejection sensitivity
• [35:34] – Wrapping up with encouragement to “keep shooting your shots”

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Tone and Style

The episode features Holmberg’s signature irreverent, self-deprecating humor paired with earnest reflections and strong doses of “let cooler heads prevail” wisdom. The show openly navigates serious ground (mental health, immigration, human trafficking), but always with comic asides and sharp, observational dialogue, imitating the casual, ball-busting banter of old friends.

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This summary should equip anyone who missed the episode with not just the facts, but the flavor, context, and heart of the conversation.

Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Host 1]

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[John Holmberg]

Sickness the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. My name is John. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Toledo. Let's do this thing and get through another perfect day here in glorious paradise. US of A. And we'll start Wednesday the way I like to start my days. A lot of people use yoga or some sort of meditation. I just use praise. This guy emailed me and says I just wanted to take a moment to thank you and moved to Phoenix in 2006 and found your show the first week I was here and I've listened every morning since. How about that? That's 20 years. Jesus Christ dying. It says you've always been a very open on air personality and that is one of the best parts of your show in my opinion. Recently you started talking that you went to a therapist and you get help and I have been having a hard time for several years but found it hard to seek help. Your openness about that help me take those steps. I think you should know how much good you do. Not just with charity and local stuff, but just with laughs. In a unique way, you engage with the audience. Thanks again, Chris. How about that? Saving lives.

[Host 1]

Pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Saving lives.

[Host 1]

You on the back, buddy.

[John Holmberg]

On a Wednesday. Yeah. Thanks, guys. I appreciate that. Me being, you know, unable to deal with anything in my head and having panic attacks made it so that guy didn't have any problems anymore. And you're welcome. That's the sacrifice. You know what my new name is? He was a Jew, too. Hint, hint. I'm not really a Jew, but I am Jesus, like, in certain regards. But that's cool. Yeah, I like that. And then you start realizing why they're like, you've been like. The stigma that's attached to that is so silly. And people think it's like some, you know, oh, you're crazy. You're not. It's just. It's almost like having somebody come to your desk and organize for a minute. It's very good for you. And plus, especially for dudes, we don't like to go. We want to get everything off our chest, but we want to choose who to do it with and want to pay somebody to have to listen to you. It's better that way. You can say whatever you want, and then they got to keep it quiet, too. You can say all sorts of terrible things. It's like this show between the breaks. What goes on in this, you can say that and there's no repercussions. Of course. You killed somebody.

[Co-host]

Studio therapy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's all. Well, you get it out on here. But yeah, no, I, you know, I got no problem. I think it's great. Go get them. Good for you. And thanks for 20 years. That's the thing. I gotta go see a therapist about that. Dude's here 20 years and he missed the first five. Geez. Here's another way. I'm amazing. Brady, According to the listeners. This is an important one, though. This, you know, Chris is not to say Chris wasn't. If you're, you know, says homework. I just want to say thank you for saying the words let the dust settle before we all react, which is what I said yesterday about the Zips thing. This guy says, I work with law enforcement on a very high level and I'm involved in what went on at Zips. We aren't there enforcing basic immigration. Like people are saying not to give too much away, but there are some things naturally tying back to immigration because this is a trafficking situation. That said, people came to protest us. They are putting themselves in a bad situation and they have no clue what it is that's going on. We had an incident with a person who laid hands on an FBI agent. Not sure if you know how dumb that is, but this dude is a big deal. And what the man did was a gigantic federal offense. Uh, but the agent kept his cool. It could have easily escalated into something horrible. I'm all for protesting, but know why you're protesting. Don't react. From what I'm hearing, we are not dealing with a couple of crooks here or a couple of cooks who floated over the border and are just getting away with it. Anyway, thank you, John, for the fart jokes and being the voice of reason. Signed Heath. Well, that's what I'm here for. Fart jokes and voice of reason. That's it. Yeah, I've talked to two people. Another guy emailed me and said he's involved in this in a law level. And he goes, what's going on? That they allegedly going on there is not like that sounds. It's.

[Co-host]

I mean, if it's, you know, like for trafficking twice.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, traffic times, everybody assumes that's nabbing kids out of a mall. Yeah. That's not necessarily. Human trafficking is, you know, you're moving people in. Like some people want that. Like they're moving people from place to place and they're giving safe houses and they're. They're part of more employment to help them stay there. They're part of like the honeycomb that is this person can go here and then here and then here. I was, I was a human trafficker. I can tell you from. Oh yeah. I can tell you from experience that I didn't know it was a human trafficker. But I was a human trafficker for a while at Tony Roma's when I hired all those Chris Valenzuela's, what I was doing was enabling these people to have a safe space and then moving them. And we'd move them to other Tony Romas. The Chris Valenzuelas we hired, there were.

[Co-host]

Like 12 of them and get some cash.

[John Holmberg]

And we didn't know which ones were showing up. We had on the cooks list, Chris.

[Host 1]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And we would put multiple times down for like, let's say Wednesday, it would say open 11, four close on one guy's thing. Four of them would show up. All of them on time. All the Chris's. We didn't know which there were 12 of them.

[Host 1]

I was just gonna say. So you never knew which Chris Valenzuela.

[John Holmberg]

Was gonna show up? They Were all equally great at being cooks. So when I would do that, and there's a guy named Tony Smith that did the schedule, we'd look at him like, I need a cris for like the. I need one of the Chris's for the. He goes, just write it down. If they see their name and a thing on the busboy schedule, like a bunch of them will show up like, okay. And that is exactly what happened. It was phenomenal having them.

[Co-host]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And then I went to their house to party once and there were no. There was no furniture. There was a couch, there was a bunch of sleeping bags and more Chris's. There must have been 20 of them in there. It was a three bedroom apartment at Playa Palms on Country Club.

[Co-host]

Oh yeah, I know.

[John Holmberg]

And right between Guadalupe and Baseline. And they. They slept on the floor. Like when the Chris's that worked another job in the middle of the night were home.

[Co-host]

They'd sleep two bedroom, 27 occupancy.

[John Holmberg]

It was a. But I think that they just like one dude was renting it and his name was Chris Valenzuela. They were. And we played poker with them. They were fun, the Chrises. And then I kind of realized workers. Oh, you've never seen anything like it. And like they kept it together. So I'm sitting there and there was one of them that shows up. I called him senor Mariposa because he was old. And I found out that senor Mary Post because he didn't like gay anything. So I would always go, hola senor Mary Posta. And I said, culo me labia. Because one of the Chris has taught me that that was lick my butt. I'm not. I'm not so certain. I think that's just lips and butts. I'm not sure what it is. I think it's put your lips on my vehicle. I don't know what it means. But he hated it. And he thought it was funny, but he also hated it. So I was active, but he was Uncle Chris because He was like 60 and all the other Chris's got him. And then that's the day I realized, oh, we're just running families through here to get a couple bucks and do whatever it is they're doing. We were human trafficking, that's what that is. And the Chris is just went with it. And also there were some times when Chris would call in sick and none of the Chris's showed up. They were. Yeah, they were worried about something so they didn't leave the apartment down there. Their Team. Yeah, it was always the, the main Chris would call. Hola. Hey John, what's going on? Like, hey Chris, how you doing? Hey, we're not going to make it today. No, no, no, no trouble. Okay. What am I going to do? Is anybody showing up? No. Oh God. And then I'd have to have Dylan the idiot and his three friends come in. Johnny, no coming, no trouble. No, no Chris's today. No Chris. Okay, no Chris. And I think they just meant Chris in English. Must to them meant you guys. Yeah, but I was human trafficking. In a weird way I was part of human trafficking. I wasn't. I think everybody thinks of it like the movies where you're just stuffing people in cars and vans, which is part of it. But I don't know how the Chris's were getting here. But we were a phone call to another Chris down there and you know Tijuana and say, hey, hey Chris, you come up, you come work. Johnny Cool. You'll come up, you'll be just some days I just be there and I'm like, I don't know any of the Chris's today. They're all four new and all of them knew how to make everything on the menu. Like the day they got there, like they studied it at home.

[Host 1]

So was there, was there Chris Valenzuela's at all them restaurants on the Guadalupe corridor? So like you got, there's a couple at Pub and Grub, there's a couple of Nellos, There's a couple.

[John Holmberg]

What I was too stupid to look into. But my guess is we weren't dealing with the only Chris Valenzuela. But Chris Valenzuela dominated our kitchen for close to six months. Then guess what? Like the wind.

[Host 1]

Did they quit or anything or just not show up?

[John Holmberg]

They stopped being there.

[Host 1]

Oh wow.

[John Holmberg]

And it was like we were down. It was like the ten little Indian song. We had one little two little three. Like a couple of the Chris's were gone. And then we're like, where's the other Chris? And then you put down four Chris's and two, which I'm like, where are they? Where are the guys? Well, no, said Chris, Chris on that thing down me like I know you're, you're all Chris. Like, don't, don't argue with me. Cuatro, cuatron, okay. And then two of them would handle what four used to do. And then they just stopped coming and we lost the Chris's. Then we had to go back to convicts and high school kids. And then it got weird. They were good. So I was part of human trafficking. The FBI could have very easily wandered into that Tony run, by the way. I would have been fine with them coming in, stopping human trafficking, so long as they never looked into my pocket and I was stealing all that money, as all of us were doing. It was a crooked operation. So yeah, don't go over there and protest unless you know what they're up to. This isn't just a, you know, brown guy getting pulled over in his car for being brown. Evidently there's something bigger. And by the way, to all the people really angry at what happened, it's the Jew they're after. That's the big the guy who owns it is the one they're really going for here. So it's not, you know, you can say you're protecting brown people. It's you're not. They're going after the head honchos. From what I've read, there's something something check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at.

[Host 1]

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[John Holmberg]

July 2024 to June 2020 25. Holmberg's morning sickness. The one dude emailed me, and he's part of Homeland Security. And it was a long email and he didn't want details, but he gave me some details because I asked Homeland Security to say, where's lunch today? Winking a nod because I want to see pepper balls. But evidently they peppered a guy even yesterday. Screwing around. But if you're going to protest, know what you're protesting. Maybe, just maybe, some of these law enforcement guys are cleaning up something terrible, and you're so riled up thinking everything they do is awful, you're gonna stop something. Like preventing something that needs to be done needs to happen. I don't know what's going on in that place, but I know if they'd have raided like 40 different restaurants, that would have been like, ah, they're just rounding up cooks. That's not what they did. And I don't. The last thing I want to do, and people will call me a coward and I'll get emails, go, you're old nurse. I just don't want anybody to get killed over what turned out to be a pretty decent thing they're doing. And if you start pushing FBI agents, you might be the dumbest person alive. What are you doing? Turn the news off.

[Co-host]

Life can change pretty quick.

[John Holmberg]

Watch. Watch a goddamn rerun of Friends and calm the F down. By the way, I've recently learned that in French subtitling, every time a rap video or a Sam Jackson movie plays in France, they replace the N word with friends. So if you ever talk to a French guy who doesn't know the TV show Friends is the worst thing in the world, they think that that's the translation to the N word until you explain it to them. I find that hysterical, that they're like, how in the world did Training Day go? And if Denzel kept calling everybody friend, My friend, my friend. This friend right here. Yeah. So just be smarter, that's all. Don't push people who are wearing those. Again, you may not like them, but.

[Host 1]

My friends are going to be in.

[John Holmberg]

Pelican Bay with a basketball to get some pipe hitting Friends. I want to change everything to Friends. But that's the other. It's a French translation. Well, it's not, but that's what they used in order to just not say it. No, this guy says bring chemicals out of a truck at people on a sidewalk is part of it. Come on. Excuses, excuses. I don't know where that at. Where did that happen? I don't know.

[Host 1]

I don't even.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I've heard about. All I'm saying, all I'm talking about right now, Eric, is if that's going on. Yeah. You can't hose people down with chemicals. There's nuance. It's not all bad and it's not all good. You can't hear somebody that disagrees with.

[Co-host]

It a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm saying this thing in zips that people are risking their lives for, it's just not worth it.

[Co-host]

The passion for the zipperitas are insane.

[John Holmberg]

I know. Now, look, if you're protesting to open those goddamn doors, I'm fine with that. But I haven't seen where people are just driving along the chemicals when they're unlawful. Once that someone gets a bullhorn and says, this is an unlawful gathering, you're going to get pepper sprayed. I don't agree with it, but it's going to happen. And that's been going on forever. This isn't new. That's why I'm kind of thinking it's all stupid, is because I've seen, you know, from the beginning of walking down the street in a group that always ends with pepper spray or smoke of some sort that makes you cough. I'm not interested. So gather, scream and yell. Do your thing. And then when they're like, all right, we've had it, and they start hitting you with chemicals, it's like, ah, jerks. Okay, but you still don't want that. Yes, they should. They. Should they not, I don't know, don't lay hands on cops. They won't shoot you with the. With, you know, chemicals. I have never been hit with chemicals. It's pretty easy to avoid. I know I can be all fired up about something, but once a dude breaks out a pepper gun, my stance weakens immediately. Like if. If I'm yelling at Brett and I'm like, yeah, you're a jackass. And you do this wrong and that wrong and this wrong. Brett's like, all right, that's about enough of that. I'll let you say all you can say, but here's my line and you crossed it. And then Brett breaks out mace. I ain't standing there anymore.

[Co-host]

The boys at MMP Guns sell a pepper gun.

[Host 1]

Oh, I'm sure Oh, sure, I laugh about it because I know some hippie's gonna get jacked in the nuts with a pepper ball. So I think it's hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

And, yeah, he doesn't care what Eric Torres says about excuses. Excuses. And I'll be honest with you. I like when hippies get jacked in the nuts too. And that's like at a fish concert. I'm not even talking about protesting. If I can watch somebody who's at a Grateful Dead show take one of the pills, you're gonna see me rolling on the ground. I love it. I'm not making excuses for either side. I'm saying be smart. Don't get killed over this. Not worth it. Don't go up to the FBI and start pushing them around because you saw on TV chemicals getting sprayed at a crowd, and you think every sing time these guys are into it. That's not what's going on. Just pick and choose. That's all. And again, anytime a group of people has chemicals, let them be the ones that look bad.

[Co-host]

Right this way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, here we go. I'm fine with it. If they start fighting. You fight a little bit, but they've got bigger guns. And then, you know, it's always when you let the dummy scream loudest, they'll be the one that digs their hole. But if you start scrapping back, you're gonna give them a reason to have, you know, to pepper spray ya. It's because I care about you. That's why. Not the hippie so much. You guys go get kicked in the nuts all day. I can't stand you. But just be smart. The protests are fine, but I don't think that's. I don't think this is what you think it is. And I don't want to see people getting pepper balls last night there. People are gonna get. People are gonna get hurt. And for what? Clicks More news. We don't need it. I am what's called cooler heads. All I want to do is laugh at stuff, making it hard. And I know that the bad guys are on both sides, and people hate hearing that. It's true. It's people trying to make it a bigger deal and people who are bad at their jobs. So you're gonna run those two things together. That's two trains on a track. It's not good. This is what I really wanted to talk about today. Last night at the Rah Rah Room, I'm standing with my buddy Anthony and Dr. Brink. And there are where we stand at the end of the Bar, because we kind of own this little end of the bar. We've elbowed our way in, and it's our little space. We just kind of hang out there before the game at halftime. And then usually, you know, it dwindles into third quarter, and the next thing you know, the game's almost over. We watching on TV the whole time. There's three women that stand close by, around the corner, and we kind of will chat with them every once in a while. They're really nice, and they're not there all the time, but Corinna and Ashley and their crazy friend, and they were standing next to us. These dudes came in last night, and I have not seen this move in my life. They kind of knew them a little, because everybody's kind of. It's a club, so you kind of see the same people. And the one dude elbows into me. Excuse me. And I'm like, that's fine. And I'm just talking to Anthony, and he gets between me and the Corinna lady, and he starts talking to her. And in the middle of her sentence, he goes, do you want to go to the bathroom with me? I'm like, that's aggressive. And she's like, oh, no, I'm good. I don't have to go. And he goes, we don't need to go. Like, is this dude trying to just immediately pull. Is that a move that's worked ever? So she turns him down, and they start talking again. He goes, seriously, let's go to the bathroom. And I'm like, he's. And so he left for a second. And I'm like, I gotta ask you, is he, like, trying to do blow or is this. Like, what does he want? She goes, no, he was asking if I wanted to have sex with him right now. Like, how about that guy that's getting it done? Well. Well, he got pepper sprayed, and I warned him. I told him. I said, you can't do that. No, she didn't do it. But I'm like, is that a normal thing? And she goes, some guys just ask now, like, in the younger ones, he's a younger guy. He didn't know what to be social with. Like, she was talking. It was one of those. So how you been? I'm good. I just went to the bathroom and have sex. Like, hardcore. No, thank you. All right. Anyways, finish her story. Then she get him. A lot of time has passed since I last asked, would you like to have sex in the bathroom?

[Host 1]

This guy, like, gamblers, Arian or something? I mean, okay.

[John Holmberg]

He had three chins. He's like 25, and he had three chins. That's hard to do at Israel. Never seen it.

[Co-host]

A reasonable pass in a way, because there's no. No touching. It's aggressive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

You know the guys that go over there, like.

[John Holmberg]

But is there a woman on the planet you'd be interested in that goes, yeah, let's do that.

[Co-host]

But then you think on that guy. Then it must. It must work sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't believe what I was seeing. I've not seen that. I've seen. I've heard some people. And then this little dude, he was like 4ft tall, kept popping in between Sam. It was. No. It was healthy Sam. My friend Sam is not going to make it. But he kept popping in between the tall people and these girls that were talking to him, they were real excited. And the one guy goes, this is epic. And then he'd disappear again. Like, it was like a little epic troll. He'd pop up and say something positive and then disappear. I sat there and. And the game got good, and Anthony and Dr. Brink left. And I'm like, I'm staying right here. I got to hear how this ends. And they struck out, and then they tried to buy me drinks. Sorry we moved you out of the way. I'm like, I'm fine. I'm standing right here. Anyway, can I get you a drink? I'm like, no. Want to go to the bathroom? Like, I heard it all. It was a move. I've not. I didn't know dudes did. I thought it was, you know, can I get your numbers out the door? Now it's just, let's go. Want to go screw? And I wonder if that's the porn generation. Just thinking that's how it works. Like, if she smiles at you and says nice thing, it's. I don't know. Finally.

[Host 1]

That would have been Father Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. I had my chances. Would you like to go to the bath in order to happen? All right. It's finally happening. I'm about to get that giant lawsuit to the Catholic Church. He's again, all right, John, just go right ahead in there. And he locks me in, and I have sex with all the other kids.

[Co-host]

Can I show you my rectory?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't know what that is, sir, but, yes, I'd like to see that. And then I'd be glowing. It's happening.

[Host 1]

Look what's under the dress.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna have a story and a bunch of money from the Catholics. Yeah. And then he said, just put this on. And then he never comes back. And I'm trapped in that bathroom for ages. Locks me in there. Could take three days to get out. Just like Jesus. Ironically, there's something, something. Check out Homburg's Morning Sickness [e-mail] Morning Sickness. Anyway, yeah, to dudes, you know, raise your glass to those guys. Cause that. Those balls. And twice to you, the closers. Yeah. Yeah. Here's to you, closer guy, asking a woman if she'll have sex with you in a bathroom in the middle of a conversation. And it wasn't like a humorous moment that would lead to that. He was making a move. I'm not. That's brave. At a basketball game. It's not like we were standing at a concert and everybody was trashing. Let's go to the Porta John. I've seen that. That's gross, too. But people. If there's people out there, right now's bodies just cringe because they've had Porta John sex. And they realize that at that moment in their lives, they.

[Co-host]

Airplanes.

[John Holmberg]

They're pigs. Airplanes have that, like, kind of, for some reason, cool thing that. The Mile High Club. And it's like, oh, like you're getting away with some. Just. You're on the. You're on earth. You're in a bathroom. Class it up a little bit. You know, if there's a toilet near you, There's a line of people outside that have to pee your poop and you're clogging it up. It's gross. Now I get it. If you're, like, married or you're together and you're like. You're trying to be risque. I follow me. And you're having a night. She lets you play around. And once you've done that, you're just trying to mix it up. But the first time, first words out of your mouth, you come to the bathroom and stick it in. No, thank you.

[Host 1]

Imagine I doing it, this place after, like, oh, Mark used to go in there. Jesus christ.

[John Holmberg]

Unloads his 12 pounds of ramen from last night, goes into our toilet, man, you're in a. It wouldn't work. It doesn't work anywhere. In a weird way, I blame the feminist movement. We used to be able to do stuff like that at work. Not ask him to go to the bathroom to have sex, but, like, be a little bit more open about sexual tension in the workplace that's been taken away. So some dudes just are built up, and then they end up going to bars and saying Crazy stuff instead of just getting it out of the system, you know, joking around about sex in front of the ladies at work. You're not allowed to do that anymore. In a lot of places, you can't even have conversations. So it all bottles up. And then it comes Vesuvius style when you're talking to ladies at a bar. I couldn't believe it. And the way she handled it was like, that's normal. I don't know what I would have done if I was. I'm like, what are you. I would have quizzed him. Like, are you kidding me? That's the move. Want to have sex in the bathroom? Come on.

[Co-host]

I wonder if the timing of that was right around the time that I'm watching Mad Men, the episode where Jon Hamm's boss comes over to his house.

[John Holmberg]

For dinner and he makes a move on Betty.

[Host 1]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's a great one. Yeah. When Roger tries to kiss Betty. He knew it.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he blamed Betty. He comes after Roger leaves.

[Co-host]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don Draper blames her for being a little too friendly with the boss.

[Co-host]

You're all over him.

[John Holmberg]

On. Yeah. She got in trouble because we're hot.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because she was enjoying his company. Like, that's too far.

[Host 1]

The good old days.

[Co-host]

Make dinner. I don't have enough food.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Salad. And the guy. That unexpected guest gets a steak and potatoes and all that. And then tries to make out with her in the kitchen and bails.

[Co-host]

I'll be thinking about you all night.

[John Holmberg]

And they were still friends the next day. That were like, yeah, I was a little awkward. Sorry about that.

[Co-host]

No big deal.

[John Holmberg]

Then they poured a drink and had fun. It's like, that bitch shouldn't have been so nice to you. And that's exactly how it ended.

[Co-host]

And I'm buying a new set of glasses.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know how that used to work, but it has swung the opposite way. I mean, it's just. That was. It was graphic. And I laughed for, I don't know, 10 minutes at this dude standing like an inch away from him. Just every few seconds, he'd say something, and you'd hear my dumbass laughing at his moves. The only thing she's. And if she'd have gone into the bathroom, I'd have had some words for her. Like, you come. You just have sex with that triple chin man in the bathroom.

[Co-host]

She's.

[John Holmberg]

I can't believe he's asking me. He's asked me twice. And his buddies stood there like, good move. Good move. They thought they were making and then. And then every once in a while, they go, all right, we're gonna take off. Like, that was the threat. Like, they were buying a car. If nobody's gonna bang us in the bathroom, we're gonna go somewhere else. I'm like, okay, have a nice night. We're serious. We're leaving.

[Co-host]

Okay?

[John Holmberg]

I swear. Take, like, three or four steps. The next thing you know, they're standing there again. How can you turn us down? Maybe. Maybe they thought if they see us walking away, they'll check out our asses and want to lick us in the bathroom. That is weird.

[Co-host]

Then they're. Then they're texting Mystery. That didn't work.

[John Holmberg]

It didn't work. I need more advice. Chat GPT. This plan has failed. Did you ask her to lick your balls in the bathroom? Yes. She said no. That wasn't part of the chat GPT plan.

[Host 1]

Trying for a 2 set. I don't know what happened, bro.

[John Holmberg]

We landed them. They were talking to us. That's what you said. Once they start talking, you jump to the bathroom. Blow job a little quick. Maybe let her have her drink first. Can I buy a drink? Sure. Want to blow me in the bathroom? Jesus Christ. Haven't ordered yet. Oh, yeah, hold on. I jumped ahead.

[Co-host]

I'll circle back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait, hang on. I did. I went from 1 to 7. I'm supposed to ask you how your day was. So how was it? It was great. You want to blow me in the bath? Ah, there's three, four, and five. I keep jumping to eight, but tip of the cap, because dude was unfazed at the. No. Nope. You don't want to. All right, go ahead and finish your stupid story then. Anyway, so I was petting my cat the other day. Catsy euphemism for you would like to go to the bathroom.

[Host 1]

Was it mystery from the pickup artist?

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't. I liked mystery. He was great. This one says there's a Kevin Smith interview where he says Jason muse would ask 100 girls a day. Hey, you want a bang? He said 98 would say no, but one or two would go for it. He has Wilt Chamberlain numbers. I don't have that kind of time. Yeah, where do you. You see a hundred girls a day? You're. What are you hanging out at curbs?

[Co-host]

The numbers game.

[John Holmberg]

It's a. It's a deal that I don't have, which is. I'm easily discouraged. Like, I can have a. Like I can be having a conversation with someone in the middle of it, just like, they hate Me, Like, I don't even. They don't do anything to. I just assume this is good. Five, six minutes with me. There's no way this person still likes me. And it's not even about that. These dudes didn't care and then got turned down and kept going. I get discouraged, like by a look or like she turns away. Like this person's gonna hit me in a second. I'm not even coming on to him. I knew it with dudes. Hey man, what's going on? Like, oh geez, this guy hates me. Like I have that. I assume it immediately. Jesus. If you don't text me back in an hour, I'm like, pretty sure that person hates me out. Yeah. Ever see something, you ever look at somebody's text and see the bottom and it says has notifications silenced. I always assume that's they just singled me out. I don't think they actually are asleep or anything. It's like, not you today.

[Host 1]

I pushed through right away.

[John Holmberg]

You just go send anyway, I don't care.

[Host 1]

Screw those pricks.

[John Holmberg]

You're the guy asking to go to the bathroom.

[Host 1]

You shouldn't text me in the first place, pal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's. If you ever looked at somebody and you're gonna text them and that's on there and I don't go through with.

[Host 1]

It sucks to be you.

[John Holmberg]

And then I just make excuses as to. And then I run through what was the last thing I did that made them hate me. Like, I assume they spun that dial on just me. I want all my texts, but not from him. That's what I assume went through their minds. And then blip. And it's like friends. Like finally Mark's 40 year friendship with Mark is over. He's notified he's put the silence around me. And I sometimes go through and make sure I haven't done it to anybody because I know the rejection pain. Anyway, I'll take you to the bathroom and blow you out. Yep, it works. Didn't last night, but it must have. That's what Anthony actually said last night. He goes look onto the next game. Swung at a pitch, he missed. He walked back to the dugout. He's in. If you hit 245, you're staying in the bigs.

[Host 1]

Can't hit if you don't take a swing.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I just, I don't, you know, and he wasn't good looking enough to pull. Like, I just don't get it. But again, bravery. Trudge forward, my friend. I'll just stand there and Watch. I'm an observer. That's what I do for. That's what I do for my time. I observe. But I was observing some action, that's for sure. And if anybody in a. Had she broken out the pepper spray, I wouldn't have fought. I'd have laughed. It all goes full circle. You push your boundaries, pepper spray comes out.

[Commercial Voice]

Leave.

[John Holmberg]

It's easy. Six fifth. Have you learned nothing from seeing people pepper sprayed? It doesn't look fun.

[Ad Reader]

Bunch of texts. And I don't know if you already said this or not, but a bunch of texters are asking, what was this guy's financial level? And did that fuel some of his courage? Don't think so, because it's the rah rah room. They want to know, you know, he.

[John Holmberg]

Looked to be with a rich guy. Okay. If I'm looking 30, 30,000 millionaire, I also look to be the poorest guy in there.

[Co-host]

But you wear.

[John Holmberg]

I wear children's clothes. I don't dress up for anything. I'm not auditioning for anybody, so.

[Ad Reader]

But you're also not asking somebody to.

[John Holmberg]

Go to the bathroom. But. But he was just around buying shrimp cocktails for everyone for this family right here. And then, hey, children are beautiful. Is that your husband? Yes. Any of the family members like to go blow me in the bathroom? Just throwing my shot.

[Ad Reader]

So his bravery didn't come from money?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so, but maybe he's. He might have been. Well, no, cuz the other girl's like. She's like, oh, I went to college with that kid.

[Ad Reader]

Oh, maybe that was his in.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Co-host]

No background or. Yeah, maybe dad has money.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm thinking. He kind of came from confidence, so probably, yeah, he could have been loaded, but he did. I don't know. But I happen to know that the lady was talking to is loaded, so she's not working from a I need money guy thing. In fact, I pulled up in my Bronco and she goes, oh, my God, that's awesome. And I'm like, thanks. And she goes, I have one too. Like, oh, yeah. And so I said, she goes, I just got it. Want to see it? I'm like, sure. So we wandered over, just parking right there. And my.

[Host 1]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. I'm like, you're again, after this. Go to the bathroom. Yeah, she's got one of those vintage ones. Not like the, like, not old one. Like, have you seen the vintage company that makes Broncos? They're modern.

[Co-host]

They're modern, but they're the vintage look, right?

[John Holmberg]

They start at 250 grand.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And hers was loaded. And so I pull my Teemu Bronco up next to it, and it's beautiful, but I'm like, jesus, Christmas, this thing is, man.

[Host 1]

I would ask her to the bathroom, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I guess that's true. I didn't think of that. I'm happy with mine. Mine's nice. But this thing is, you know, that Rolls Royce level.

[Co-host]

My little toy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's what she says. There's a toy. She goes. It pulls my boat. I'm like, of course it does. And she's very sweet. She's a nice person, but she doesn't eat. Like, I don't think she's waiting for a dude to come rescue her financially. I'm pretty sure that already happened. And I'm pretty sure that dude's mad at her because he's got to cut her a check to keep those broncos in line. Whatever happens, happens. She's. It's crazy. Anyway, keep shooting your shots, boys. I will always be the guy who. Who can't do that. I've never. I just laugh at it. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.