01-28-26 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 98KUPD

Episode: 01-28-26 – FULL SHOW – WEDNESDAY
Date: January 28, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode exemplifies why Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is Arizona’s #1 morning show, blending comedy, cultural commentary, irreverence, and relatable banter. Tackling everything from mental health and local immigration raids, to adult bar behavior, NFL controversies, and oddball family stories, Holmberg and the crew showcase the sharp wit and honest, sometimes raucous conversations that define the show.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Praise and Addressing Mental Health

• (02:06–04:36)
  Holmberg opens by reading a listener’s email thanking the show for its openness, especially about seeking therapy, which inspired the listener to do the same:

  “Your openness about that helped me take those steps. I think you should know how much good you do, not just with charity and local stuff, but just with laughs and a unique way you engage with the audience.”
  — Chris (03:05)

  • John reflects on the stigma attached to therapy, especially for men, and equates talking to a therapist with having someone organize your life briefly.

2. Immigration Raid at Zips: Human Trafficking & Public Reaction

• (04:37–19:16)
  The crew discusses a recent high-profile immigration raid at Zips, a local restaurant chain, after reading listener responses from those in law enforcement:
  • Law enforcement clarify the raid is not “rounding up cooks,” but part of a human trafficking investigation.
  • Brett shares a funny but poignant story from his restaurant days, unwittingly hiring several men with the same name (“Chris Valenzuela”) and later realizing he was complicit in casual human trafficking.
  • John emphasizes:

    “Don’t go over there and protest unless you know what they’re up to. This isn’t just a brown guy getting pulled over in his car for being brown. Evidently, there’s something bigger.” (12:14)

  • The dangers of protesting without information, and advice to “let the dust settle before we all react.”

3. Protest Culture & Police Tactics

• (14:06–19:16, 41:01–47:54)
  • Debate escalates over the use of force (pepper spray), personal safety, and what makes an effective protest versus needlessly risking harm.
  • The hosts joke about the French translation of the N-word into “friends” in subtitling.
  • They discuss a viral local video of a protester being shot in the groin with a pepper ball:

    “I could be on the hippie’s side and I can’t… Hippies getting hit in the nuts is funny!” — John (38:05)

  • Brady asks if John has empathy for the pepper-sprayed protesters; John dryly responds no, especially for “idiots who put themselves in that situation.” (44:49)

4. Single Life, Pick-Up Tactics, and Modern Social Etiquette

• (19:16–34:11)
  • John recounts an outlandish encounter at the Rah Rah Room: a young man repeatedly asks a woman if she wants to have sex in the bathroom, shockingly direct.
  • The crew debates whether this “move” ever works, with references to porn’s influence and pickup artist lore.
  • John marvels at the boldness, attributing it to “porn generation” assumptions:

    “The first words out of your mouth, ‘You come to the bathroom and stick it in?’ No thank you!” (25:09)

• Jokes about old-school workplace flirtations, Mad Men, and whether confidence or financial status fuels such behavior.

5. NFL Playoffs, Cheating, and the Bill Belichick Hall of Fame Snub

• (50:41–64:04)
  • Holmberg tackles the controversy around NFL coach Bill Belichick being denied first-ballot Hall of Fame status, interpreting it as an acknowledgment of his (and the Patriots’) cheating scandals (“Spygate,” “Deflategate”).
  • He draws on anecdotes from Heinz Ward and Jerome Bettis about the Patriots knowing play calls:

    “You don’t destroy [the tapes] unless having them get out destroys your product. And I think that’s what would’ve happened.” (52:16)

6. Miscellaneous Banter & Quirky Personal Stories

• Strawberry-Picking Fiasco (77:05–94:45)
  • Brady details a family vacation spent picking strawberries—the others roast him for paying to do migrant labor that’s cheaper in stores:

    “You paid someone to pick something that’s readily available for much cheaper at a store… that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” — John (77:28)

• Gross Food Analogies (47:54–49:07)
  • John analogizes strawberries to biting into a homeless person’s nose, coconut to eating hair/fingernails.
• Fraternity Hazing (111:03–114:13)
  • Old college hazing stories, bizarre pledging rituals, and how much they paid for the “privilege.”

7. Rock Wars Segment: Songs Ruined by Comparisons

• (140:01–151:07)
  • Crew challenges each other to find songs ruined by silly impressions (e.g., AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” sung as Alvin and the Chipmunks).
  • Other examples: Danzig songs as sung by Donkey from Shrek, The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" as Jerry Seinfeld.
  • Hilarity ensues as listeners and hosts imagine new associations for popular songs.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Mental Health Openness

• “It’s almost like having somebody come to your desk and organize for a minute. It’s very good for you.” — John (03:55)

Human Trafficking Reality Check

• “I didn’t know it was human trafficking, but I was a human trafficker for a while at Tony Roma’s.” — Brett (07:13)
• “Multiple Chrises show up…we didn’t know which ones.” — Brett (07:56)

Protest Wisdom

• “Be smart. Don’t go up to the FBI and start pushing them around…just pick and choose, that’s all.” — John (15:42)
• “You ever see something, you ever look at somebody’s text and see the bottom and it says ‘has notifications silenced’? I always assume that’s—they just singled me out.” — John (31:31)

Pepper Spray & Empathy

• “I could be on the hippie’s side and I can't…Hippies getting hit in the nuts is funny!” — John (38:05)
• “Maybe I don’t have any feelings. Maybe I’m part sociopath, but I find it funny. It’s funny because it’s not me.” — John (39:14)

Bar Hookup Stories

• “First words out of your mouth, ‘You come to the bathroom and stick it in?’ No thank you.” — John (25:09)

Sports & Cheating

• “You don’t destroy [the tapes] unless getting them out destroys your product.” — John (52:16)
• “Patriots were first all the time…after ‘deflate gate,’ suddenly the Patriots…back in the mix. If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying, but don’t get caught.” — John (62:45)

Strawberry “Migrant Work” Vacation

• “You paid someone to pick something…that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” — John (77:28)

Song Ruining (Rock Wars)

• “Thunderstruck by AC/DC—imagine Alvin and the Chipmunks singing it.” — Brady (145:01)
• “Danzig sounds like Donkey from Shrek.” — Brett (146:11)
• “Mr. Brightside by the Killers—as Jerry Seinfeld singing.” — John (147:55)

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Highlighted Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener Email, Mental Health: 02:06–04:36
• Zips Immigration Raid, Human Trafficking: 04:37–19:16
• Protest Culture & Advice: 14:06–47:54 (Pepper spray/nut shot video & empathy debate prominent at 38:05–44:49)
• Rah Rah Room & Pick-Up Moves: 19:16–34:11
• NFL/Belichick/Hall of Fame: 50:41–64:04
• Strawberry Picking Debacle: 77:05–94:45
• Rock Wars – Ruining Songs: 140:01–151:07

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Tone

• Edgy, irreverent banter; highly conversational and self-deprecating
• Candid, sometimes dark or politically incorrect humor
• Frequent segues and callbacks to inside jokes or ongoing show themes
• Humorous skepticism toward authority, politics, and pop culture

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For New Listeners

You’ll hear:

• Honest, sometimes bracing chat about mental health, masculinity, and public events.
• Candid takes on Phoenix’s local news and personalities.
• Classic sports radio debates—with jabs at cheaters, NFL hypocrisy, and local teams.
• In-the-wild stories and digressions: bizarre vacation tales, bad pick-up lines, gross-out food metaphors.
• Segments that let listeners in on private jokes—“Rock Wars” especially.

No matter where the conversation goes, it’s always funny, unpredictable, and unmistakably Holmberg’s.

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For the full experience, listen for the irrepressible chemistry and lightning-quick wit between the crew—especially when conversation veers into territory only they would dare to explore.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

Listings July 2020 to June 2025. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. My name is John. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Toledo. Let's do this thing and get through another perfect day here in glorious paradise. US Of A. And we'll the way I like to start my days, a lot of people use yoga or some sort of meditation. I just use praise. This guy emailed me and says, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you. I moved to Phoenix in 2006 and found your show the first week I was here, and I've listened every morning since. How about that? That's 20 years. Jesus Christ dying. It says you've always been a very open, on air personality, and that is one of the best parts of your show, in my opinion. Recently you started talking that you went to a therapist and you get help. And I have been having a hard time for several years, but found it hard to seek help. Your openness about that helped me take those steps. I think you should know how much good you do, not just with charity and local stuff, but just with laughs and a unique way you engage with the audience. Thanks again, Chris. How about that? Saving lives.

[Brady]

Pretty good.

[Brett]

Saving lives.

[John Holmberg]

You on the back, buddy.

[Brett]

On a Wednesday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Thanks, guys. I appreciate that. Me being, you know, unable to deal with anything in my head and having panic attacks made it so that guy didn't have any problems anymore. And you're welcome. That's the sacrifice. You know what my new name is? He was a Jew, too. Hint, hint. I'm not really a Jew, but I am Jesus, like in certain regards. But that's cool. Yeah, I like that. And then you start realizing why they're like, you've been like, the stigma that's attached to that is so silly. And people think it's like some, you know, oh, you're crazy. You're not. It's just. It's almost like having somebody come to your desk and organize for a minute. It's very good for you. And plus, especially for dudes, we don't like to go. We want to get everything off our chest, but we want to choose who to do it with and want to pay somebody to have to listen to you. It's better that way. You can say whatever you want and then they got to keep it quiet too. You can say all sorts of terrible things. It's like this show between the breaks. What Goes on in this. You can say that and there's no repercussions. Let's course killed somebody.

[Brady]

Studio therapy.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's all. Well, you get it out on here. But yeah, no, I. You know, I got no problem. I think it's great. Go get them. Good for you. And thanks for 20 years. That's the thing I got to go see a therapist about. That dude's here 20 years and he missed the first five. Geez. Here's another way. I'm amazing, Brady. According to the listeners, this is an important one, though. This, you know, Chris, is not to say Chris wasn't. If you're, you know, says Holmberg, I just want to say thank you for saying the words let the dust settle before we all react, which is what I said yesterday about the zips thing. This guy says, I work with law enforcement on a very high level, and I'm involved in what went on at zips. We aren't there enforcing basic immigration. Like, people are saying not to give too much away, but there are some things naturally tying back to immigration because this is a trafficking situation. That said, people came to protest us. They are putting themselves in a bad situation, and they have no clue what it is that's going on. We had an incident with a person who laid hands on an FBI agent. Not sure if you know how dumb that is, but this dude is a big deal. And what the man did was a gigantic federal offense. Uh, but the agent kept his cool. It could have easily escalated into something horrible. I'm all for protesting, but know why you're protesting. Don't react. From what I'm hearing, we are not dealing with a couple of crooks here or a couple of cooks who floated over the border and are just getting away with it. Anyway, thank you, John, for the fart jokes and being the voice of reason. Signed Heath. Well, that's what I'm here for. Fart jokes and voice of reason. That's it. Yeah, I've talked to two people. Another guy emailed me and said he's involved in this in a law level. And he goes, what's going on? That they allegedly going on there is not like that sounds. It's.

[Brady]

I mean, if it's, you know, like, for trafficking twice.

[Brett]

Well, I mean, trafficking, Everybody assumes that's nabbing kids out of a mall. Yeah, that's not necessarily. Human trafficking is, you know, you're moving people in it. Like some people want that. Like, they're moving people from place to place and they're giving safe houses and They're. They're part of employment to help them stay there. They're part of like the honeycomb that is this person can go here and then here and then here. I was. I was a human trafficker. I can tell you from. Oh, yeah. I can tell you from experience that I didn't know it was a human trafficker, but I was a human trafficker for a while at Tony Roma's. When I hired all those Chris Valenzuelas, what I was doing was enabling these people to have a safe space and then moving them. We'd move them to other Tony Romas. The Chris Valenzuelas we hired, there were.

[Brady]

Like 12 of them and get some cash.

[Brett]

And we didn't know which ones were showing up. We had on the cooks list, Chris. Right. And we would put multiple times down for like, let's say Wednesday. It would say open 11, four close on one guy's thing. Four of them would show up. All of them on time. All the Chris's. We didn't know which. There were 12 of them.

[John Holmberg]

I was just gonna say, so you never knew which Chris Valenzuela was gonna show.

[Brett]

They were all equally great at being cooks. So when I would do that, and there's a guy named Tony Smith that did the schedule, we'd look at him like, I need a cris for like the. I need one of the Chris's for the. He goes, just write it down. If they see their name and a thing on the busboy schedule, like, a bunch of them will show up like, okay. And that is exactly what happened. It was phenomenal having them.

[Brady]

And.

[Brett]

And then I went to their house to party once and there were no. There was no furniture. There was a couch. There was a bunch of sleeping bags and more Chris's. There must have been 20 of them in there. It was a three bedroom apartment at Playa Palms on Country Club and right between Guadalupe and Baseline. And they. They slept on the floor. Like when the Chris's that worked another job in the middle of the night.

[Brady]

Were home, they'd sleep two bedroom, 27 occupancy.

[Brett]

It was a. But I think that they just like one dude was renting it and his name was Chris Valenzuela. They were. And we played poker with them. They were fun, the Chrises. And then I kind of realized workers. Oh, you've never seen anything like it. And like they kept it together. So I'm sitting there and there was one of them that shows up. I called him Senor Mariposa because he was Old. And I found out that senor Mary Posta, because he didn't like gay anything. So I would always go, hola senor Mary Posta. And I said culo me labia. Because one of the Chris has taught me that that was lick my butt. I'm not, I'm not so certain. I think that's just lips and butts. I'm not sure what it is. I think it's put your lips on my vehicle. I don't know what it means. But he hated it. And he thought it was funny, but he also hated it. So I was active, but he was Uncle Chris because He was like 60 and all the other Chris's got him. And then that's the day I realized, oh, we're just running families through here to get a couple bucks and do whatever it is they're doing. We were human trafficking, that's what that is. And the Chris is just went with it. And also there were some times when Chris would call in sick and none of the Chris's showed up. They were, yeah, they were worried about something so they didn't leave the apartment down there. Their team, yeah, it was always the, the main Chris would call. Hola. Hey John, what's going on? Like, hey Chris, how you doing? Hey, we're not going to make it today. No, no, no, no trouble. Okay. What am I going to do? Is anybody showing up? No. Oh God. And then I'd have to have Dylan the idiot and his three friends come in. Johnny, no coming, no trouble. No, no Chris's today. No Chris. Okay, no Chris. And I think they just meant Chris in English. Must to them meant you guys. Yeah, but I was human trafficking. In a weird way I was part of human trafficking. I wasn't. I think everybody thinks of it like the movies where you're just stuffing people in cars and vans, which is part of it. But I don't know how the Chris's were getting here. But we were a phone call to another Chris down there and you know Tijuana and say, hey, hey Chris, you come up, you come work drone and cool. You'll come up, you'll be. But I just. Some days I just be there. I'm like, I don't know any of the Chris's today. They're all four new and all of them knew how to make everything on the menu. Like the day they got there, like they studied it at home.

[John Holmberg]

So was there, was there Chris Valenzuela's at all them restaurants on the Guadalupe corner? So like you got there's a couple.

[Brett]

At pub and grub.

[John Holmberg]

There's a couple of Nellos.

[Brett]

There's a couple I was too stupid to look into. But my guess is we weren't dealing with the only Chris Valenzuela. But Chris Valenzuela dominated our kitchen for close to six months. Then guess what? Like the wind.

[John Holmberg]

Did they quit or anything or just not show up?

[Brett]

They stopped being there. Oh wow. It was like we were down. It was like the 10 little Indian songs. We had one little two little three. Like a couple of the Chris's were gone. And then we're like, where's the other Chris? And then you put down four Chris's and two, which I'm like, where are they? Where are the guys? Oh no, said Chris, Chris on that thing down me like I know you're, you're all Chris. Like don't, don't argue with me. Cuatro, cuatron. Like, okay. And then two of them would handle what four used to do. And then they just stopped coming and we lost the Chris's. Then we had to go back to convicts and high school kids. And then it got weird. They were good. So I was part of human trafficking. The FBI could have very easily wandered into that Tony run, by the way. I would have been fine with them coming in, stopping human trafficking so long as they never looked into my pocket and I was stealing all that money because all of us were doing. It was a crooked operation. So yeah, don't go over there and protest unless you know what they're up to. This isn't just a, you know, brown guy getting pulled over in his car for being brown. Evidently there's something bigger. And by the way, to all the people really angry at what happened, it's the Jew they're after. That's the big. The guy who owns it is the one they're really going for here. So it's not, you know, you can say you're protecting brown people, it's you're not. They're going after the head honchos. From what I've read, the one dude emailed me and he's part of Homeland Security. And it was a long email and he didn't want details. But he gave me some details because I asked Homeland Security to say, where's lunch today? Winking a nod because I want to see pepper balls. But evidently they peppered a guy even yesterday. Screwing around. But if you're going to protest, know what you're protesting. Maybe, just maybe, some of these law enforcement guys are cleaning up Something terrible. And you're so riled up thinking everything they do is awful, you're gonna stop something.

[Brady]

Like preventing something that needs to be.

[Brett]

Done needs to happen. I don't know what's going on in that place, but I know if they'd have raided like 40 different restaurants, it would have been like, ah, they're just rounding up cooks. That's not what they did. And I don't. The last thing I want to do. And people call me a coward and I'll get emails, go, you're old nurse. I just don't want anybody to get killed over what turned out to be a pretty decent thing they're doing. And if you start pushing FBI agents, you might be the dumbest person alive. What are you doing? Turn the news off.

[Brady]

Life can change pretty quick. Watch.

[Brett]

Watch a goddamn rerun of Friends and calm the F down. By the way, I've recently learned that in French subtitling, every time a rap video or a Sam Jackson movie plays in France, they replace the N word with friends. So if you ever talk to a French guy who doesn't know the TV show Friends is the worst thing in the world, they think that that's the translation to the N word until you explain it to them. I find that hysterical. That they're like, how in the world did Training Day go? And if Denzel kept calling everybody friend.

[John Holmberg]

My friend, my.

[Brett]

This friend right here. Yeah. So just be smarter. That's all. Don't push people who are wearing those again. You may not like them, but my.

[John Holmberg]

Friends are going to be in Pelican Bay with a basketball.

[Brett]

We're going to get some pipe hitting Friends. I want to change everything to Friends. But that's the other. It's a French translation. Well, it's not, but that's what they used in order to just not say it. No. This guy says bring chemicals out of a truck at people on a sidewalk is part of it. Come on. Excuses, excuses. I don't know where that at. Where did that happen? I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even.

[Brett]

That's the first I've heard about it. But all I'm saying, all I'm talking about right now, Eric, is if that's going on. Yeah, you can't hose people down with chemicals. There's nuance. It's not all bad and it's not all good. You can't hear somebody that disagrees with.

[Brady]

It a little bit.

[Brett]

But I'm saying this. This thing in zips that people are risking their lives for. It's just not worth it.

[Brady]

The passion for the zipperitas are insane.

[Brett]

I know. Now, look, if you're protesting to open those goddamn doors, I'm fine with that. But I haven't seen where people are just driving along the chemicals when they're. When they're unlawful. Once that someone gets a bullhorn and says, this is an unlawful gathering, you're gonna get pepper sprayed. I don't agree with it, but it's gonna happen. And that's been going on forever. This isn't new. That's why I'm kind of thinking it's all stupid is cause I've seen, you know, from the beginning of walking down the street in a group that always ends with pepper spray or smoke of some sort that makes you cough, I'm not interested. So gather, scream and yell. Do your thing. And then when they're like, all right, we've had it, and they start hitting you with chemicals, it's like, bad jerks. Okay, but you still don't want that. Yes, they should. They should. They not. I don't know. Don't lay hands on cops. They won't shoot you with the, you know, chemicals. I have never been hit with chemicals. It's pretty easy to avoid. I know I can be all fired up about something, but once a dude breaks out a pepper gun, my stance weakens immediately. Like if. If I'm yelling at Brett and I'm like, yeah, you're a jackass. And you do this wrong and that wrong and this wrong. Brett's like, all right, that's about enough of that. I'll let you say all you can say, but here's my line, and you crossed it. And then Brett breaks out Mace, I ain't standing there anymore.

[Brady]

The boys at M and P Guns sell a pepper gun.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm sure.

[Brady]

Oh, sure.

[John Holmberg]

I laugh about it because I know some hippies gonna get jacked in the nuts with a pepper ball. So I think it's hilarious.

[Brett]

And then there's that. Yeah, he doesn't care what Eric Torres says about excuses. Excuses. And I'll be honest with you. I like when hippies get jacked in the nuts, too. And that's like at a fish concert. I'm not even talking about protesting. If I can watch somebody who's at a Grateful Dead show take one of the pills, you're going to see me rolling on the ground. I love it. I'm not making excuses for either side. I'm saying, be smart. Don't get killed over. It's not worth it. Don't go up to the FBI and start pushing them around because you saw on TV chemicals getting sprayed at a crowd and you think every single time these guys are into it. That's not what's going on. Just pick and choose, that's all. And again, anytime a group of people has chemicals, let them be the ones that look bad.

[Brady]

Right this way.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah, here we go. I'm fine with it. If they start fighting, you fight a little bit, but they've got bigger guns. And then you, you know, it's always when you let the dummy scream loudest, they'll be the one that digs their hole. But if you start scrapping back, you're gonna give them a reason to have, you know, to pepper spray you. It's because I care about you, that's why. Not the hippies so much. You guys go get kicked in the nuts all day. I can't stand you. But just be smart. Something, something. Check out Homework's morning sickness podcast at.

[Toledo]

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[Brett]

53342, Holmberg's morning sickness. The protests are fine, but I don't think that's. I don't think this is what you think it is. And I don't want to see people getting. They had pepper balls last night there. People are going to get. People are going to get hurt. And for what? Clicks More news. We don't need it. I am what's called cooler heads. All I want to do is laugh at stuff, making it hard. And I know that the bad guys are on both sides and people hate hearing that. It's true. It's people trying to make it a bigger deal and people who are bad at their jobs. So you're going to run those two things together. That's two trains on a track. It's not good. This is what I really wanted to talk about today. Last night at the Rah Rah Room, I'm standing there with my buddy Anthony and Dr. Brink. And there are. Where we stand at the end of the bar, because we kind of own this little end of the bar. We've elbowed our way in, and it's our little space. We just kind of hang out there before the game at halftime. And then usually, you know, it dwindles into third quarter, and the next thing you know, the game's almost over. We've been watching on TV the whole time. There's three women that stand close by around the corner, and we kind of will chat with them every once in a while. They're really nice, and they're not there all the time, but Corinna and Ashley and their crazy friend, and they were standing next to us. These dudes came in last night, and I have not seen this move in my life. They kind of knew them a little, because everybody's kind of. It's a club, so you kind of see the same people. And the one dude elbows into me. Excuse me. And I'm like, that's fine. And I'm just talking to Anthony, and he gets between me and the corridor lady, and he starts talking to her. And in the middle of her sentence, he goes, do you want to go to the bathroom with me? I'm like, well, that's aggressive. And she's like, oh, no, I'm good. I don't have to go. And he goes, we don't need to go. Like, is this dude trying to just immediately pull? Is that a move that's worked ever? So she turns him down, and they start talking again. He goes, seriously, let's go to the bathroom. And I'm like, he's. And so he left for a second. And I'm like, I gotta ask you, is he, like, trying to do blow or is this, like, what does he want? She goes, no, he was asking if I wanted to have sex with him right now. I'm like, how about that guy that's getting it done? Well. Well, he got pepper sprayed. And I warned him. I told him, I said, you can't do that. No, she didn't do it. But I'm like, is that a normal thing? And she goes, some guys just ask now, like, in the younger ones, he's a younger guy. He didn't know what to be social with. Like, she was talking. It was one of those. So how you been? I'm good. I just went to the bathroom and have sex. Like, hardcore. No, thank you. All right. Anyways, finish your story. Then she get him. A lot of time has passed since I last asked, would you like, to have sex in the bathroom.

[Toledo]

This guy.

[John Holmberg]

Like, gamblers are in or something.

[Brett]

I mean, okay, it was. He had three chins. He's like 25 and he had three chins. That's hard to do at Israel.

[Brady]

A.

[Brett]

Never seen it.

[Brady]

A reasonable pass in a way, because there's no. No touching. It's aggressive.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know the guys that go over.

[Brett]

There, like, but is there a woman on the planet you'd be interested in that goes, yeah, let's do that.

[Brady]

But then you think on that guy, then it must. It must work sometimes.

[Brett]

Couldn't believe what I was seeing. I've not seen that. I've seen. I've heard some people. And then this little dude, he was like 4ft tall, kept popping in between Sam. He was. No, he was healthy. Sam. My friend Sam is not gonna make it. But he kept popping in between the tall people. And these girls that were talking to him, they were real excited. And the one guy goes, this is epic. And then he'd disappear again. Like he was like a little epic troll. He'd pop up and say something positive and then disapp. Here I sat there and. And the game got good, and Anthony and Dr. Brink left. And I'm like, I'm staying right here. I gotta hear how this ends. And they struck out. And then they tried to buy me drinks. Sorry we moved you out of the way. I'm like, I'm fine. I'm standing right here. Anyway, gonna get you a drink. I'm like, no. Want to go to the bathroom? Like, I heard it all. It was a move. I'm not. I didn't know dudes did. I thought it was, you know. Can I get your numbers out the door now it's just, let's go. Want to go screw. And I wonder if that's the porn generation. Just thinking, that's how it works. Like, if she smiles at you and says nice thing, it's. I don't know. If only.

[John Holmberg]

That would have been Father Dale.

[Brett]

Oh, man. I had my chances. Would you like to go to the bath? You know what? Were to happen. All right. Finally happening. I'm about to get that giant lawsuit to the Catholic Church. He's again. All right, John, just go right ahead in there. And he locks me in, and I have sex with all the other kids.

[Brady]

Can I show you my rectory?

[Brett]

Well, I don't know what that is, sir, but, yes, I'd like to see that. And then I'd be glowing.

[Brady]

It's happening.

[John Holmberg]

Look what's under the dress.

[Brett]

I'm gonna have a story and a bunch of money from the Catholics. Yeah. And then he said, just put this on. And then he never comes back. And I'm trapped in that bathroom for ages. Locks me in there. Could take three days to get out. Just like Jesus. Ironically. Anyway. Yeah. To dudes, you know, Raise your glass to those guys because that's those balls. And twice to you, the closer. Yeah. Yeah. Here's to you, closer guy. Asking a woman if she'll have sex with you in a bathroom in the middle of a conversation. And it wasn't like a humorous moment that would lead to that. He was making a move. I'm not. That's brave. At a basketball game. It's not like we were standing at a concert and everybody was trashing. Let's go to the Portage. I've seen that. That's gross, too. But people. If there's people out there right now whose bodies just cringe because they've had Porta John sex, and they realize that at that moment in their lives, they.

[Brady]

Airplanes.

[Brett]

They're pigs. Airplanes have that, like, kind of, for some reason, cool thing that. The Mile High Club. And it's like, oh, like you're getting away with something. Just. You're on the. You're on earth. You're in a bathroom. Class it up a little bit. You know, if there's a toilet near you, There's a line of people outside that have to pee or poop, and you're clogging it up. It's gross. Now I get it. If you're, like, married or you're together and you're like. You're trying to be risque. I follow me. And you're having a night. She lets you play around. And once you've done that, you're just trying to mix it up. But the first. First words out of your mouth, you come to the bathroom and stick it in. No, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine I'm doing it, this place. After, like, Mark used to go in there. Jesus christ.

[Brett]

Unloads his 12 pounds of ramen from last night, goes into our toilet. Man, you're in a. It wouldn't work. It doesn't work anywhere. In a weird way, I blame the feminist movement. We used to be able to do stuff like that at work. Not ask him to go to the bathroom to have sex, but, like, be a little bit more open about sexual tension in the workplace that's been taken away. So some dudes just are built up, and then they end up going to bars and saying crazy stuff instead of just Getting it out of the system, you know, joking around about sex in front of the ladies at work. You're not allowed to do that anymore. In a lot of places, you can't even have conversations. So it all bottles up. And then it comes Vesuvius style when you're talking to ladies at a bar. I couldn't believe it. And the way she handled it was like, that's normal. I don't know what I would have done if I was a woman. Like, what are you? I would have quizzed him. Like, are you kidding me?

[Brady]

That's the move.

[Brett]

Want to have sex in the bathroom? Come on.

[Brady]

I wonder if the timing of that was right around the time that I'm watching Mad Men, the episode where Jon Hamm's boss comes over to his house.

[Brett]

For dinner and he makes a move on Betty.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

Oh, that's a great one. Yeah. When Roger tries to kiss Betty.

[Brady]

Attention.

[Brett]

He knew it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And he blamed Betty. He comes away after Roger leaves.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Don Draper blames her for being a little too friendly with the boss.

[Brady]

You're all over.

[Brett]

Yeah. She got in trouble because. Rot.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because she was enjoying his company. That's too far.

[John Holmberg]

The good old days.

[Brett]

Oh, it was after.

[Brady]

Make dinner. I don't have enough food.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

They have a little tiny salad. And the guy. That unexpected guest gets a steak and potatoes and all that. And then tries to make out with her in the kitchen and bails.

[Brady]

I'll be thinking about you all night.

[Brett]

And they were still friends the next day. That were, like. I was a little awkward. Sorry about that.

[Brady]

No big deal.

[Brett]

And they poured a drink and had fun. It's like, that bitch shouldn't have been so nice to you. And that's exactly how it ended.

[Brady]

I'm buying a new set of glasses.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know how that used to work, but it has swung the opposite way. I mean, it's just. That was. It was graphic. And I laughed for, I don't know, 10 minutes at this dude standing like an inch away from him. Just every few seconds, he'd say something. You'd hear my dumb ass laughing at his moves. And if she'd have gone into the bathroom, I'd have had some words for, like, you come. Did you just have sex with that triple chin man in the bathroom?

[Brady]

She's.

[Brett]

I can't believe he's asking. He's asked me twice. And his buddies stood there like, good move. Good move. They thought they were making. And then. And then every once in a while, they go all right, we're gonna take off. Like, that was the threat. Like they were buying a car. If nobody's gonna bang us in the bathroom, we're gonna go somewhere else. I'm like, okay, have a nice night. We're serious. We're leaving. Okay?

[John Holmberg]

I swear.

[Brett]

Take, like, three or four steps. The next thing you know, they're standing there again.

[Brady]

Circle around.

[Brett]

How can you turn us down? Maybe. Maybe they thought if they see us walking away, they'll check out our asses and want to lick us in the bathroom. That is weird.

[Brady]

Then they're. Then they're texting Mystery. That didn't work.

[Brett]

It didn't work. I need more advice. ChatGPT. This plan has failed. Did you ask her to lick your balls in the bathroom? Yes. She said no. That wasn't part of the chat. GPT plan.

[John Holmberg]

Trying for a 2 set. I don't know what happened, bro.

[Brett]

We landed them. They were talking to us. That's what you said. Once they start talking, you jump to the bathroom. Blowjob a little quick, maybe. Let her have her drink first. Can I buy a drink?

[Brady]

Sure.

[Brett]

Wanna blow me in the bathroom? Jesus Christ. I haven't ordered yet. Oh, yeah, hold on. I jumped ahead.

[Brady]

I'll circle back.

[Brett]

Oh, wait, hang on. I did. I went from 1 to 7. I'm supposed to ask you how your day was. So how was it?

[Brady]

It was great.

[Brett]

You wanna blow me in the bath? Ah, there's three, four, and five. I keep jumping to eight, but tip of the cap because dude was unfazed. Nope. You don't want to. All right, go ahead and finish your stupid story then. Anyway, so I was petting my cat the other day. Cat's a euphemism for pussy. You would like to go to the bathroom.

[John Holmberg]

Was it Mystery from the pickup artist?

[Brett]

No, it wasn't. I liked mystery. He was great. This one says there's a Kevin Smith interview where he says Jason mewes would ask 100 girls a day. Hey, you want a bang? He said 98 would say no, but one or two would go for it. He has Wilt Chamberlain numbers. I don't have that kind of time. Where do you see a hundred girls a day? You're. What are you hanging out at Curbs.

[Brady]

Game?

[Brett]

It's a. It's a deal that I don't have, which is. I'm easily discouraged. Like, I can have a. Like I can be having a conversation with someone in the middle of it, just like they hate me. Like, I don't even. They don't do Anything to. I just assume this is good. Five, six minutes with me. There's no way this person still likes me. And it's not even about that. These dudes didn't care and then got turned down and kept going. I get discouraged, like by a look or like if she turns away, like, this person's gonna hit me in a second. I'm not even coming on to him. I knew it with dudes. Hey, man, what's going on? Like, oh, geez, this guy hates me. Like, I have that. I assume it immediately. Like, Jesus, if you don't text me back in an hour, I'm like, pretty sure that person hates me out. Yeah. You ever see something, you ever look at somebody's text and see the bottom and it says has notifications silenced. I always assume that's they just singled me out. I don't think they actually are asleep or anything. It's like, not you today.

[John Holmberg]

I pushed through right away.

[Brett]

You just go send. Anyway, I don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Screw those pricks.

[Brett]

You're the guy asking to go to the bathroom.

[John Holmberg]

You shouldn't text me in the first place, pal.

[Brett]

Yeah, but it's. If you ever looked at somebody and you're gonna text them and that's on there and I don't go through with.

[John Holmberg]

It sucks to be you.

[Brett]

And then I just make excuses as to. And then I run through what was the last thing I did that made them hate me. Like, I assume they spun that dial on just me. I want all my texts, but not from him. That's what I assume went through their minds. And then blip. And it's like friends. My God. Finally, Mark's 40 year friendship with Mark is over. He's notified he's put the silence around me. And I sometimes go through and make sure I haven't done it to anybody because I know the rejection pain. Anyway, I'll take you to the bathroom and blow you out. Yep. Apparently it works. Didn't last night, but it must have. That's what Anthony actually said last night. He goes look onto the next game. Swung at a pitch, he missed. He walked back to the dugout, he's in. If you hit 245, you're staying in the bigs.

[John Holmberg]

Can't hit if you don't take a swing.

[Brett]

I mean, I just, I don't, you know, and he wasn't good looking enough to pull. Like, I just don't get it. But again, bravery. Trudge forward, my friend. I'll just stand there and watch. I'm an observer. That's what I do for. That's what I do for my time. I observe. But I was observing some action, that's for sure. And if anybody in a. Had she broken out the pepper spray, I wouldn't have fought. I'd have laughed. It all goes full circle. You push your boundaries, pepper spray comes out. Leave. It's easy. Six fifth. Have you learned nothing from seeing people pepper sprayed? It doesn't look fun.

[Toledo]

Bunch of texts. And I don't know if you already said this or not, but a bunch of texters are asking, what was this guy's financial level? And did that fuel some of his courage? Don't think so, because it's the rah rah room. They want to know, you know, he.

[Brett]

Looked to be with a rich guy. Okay. If I'm looking 30. 30,000 millionaire, I also look to be the poorest guy in there.

[Brady]

But you wear.

[Brett]

I wear children's clothes. I don't dress up for anything. I'm not auditioning for anybody, so.

[Toledo]

But you're also not asking somebody to.

[Brett]

Go to the bathroom. But. But he was just going around buying shrimp cocktails for everyone for this family right here. And then, hey, the children are beautiful. Is that your husband?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

Any of the family members like to go blow me in the bathroom? Just throwing my shot.

[Toledo]

So his bravery didn't come from money?

[Brett]

I don't. But maybe he's. He might have been. Well, no, because the other girl's like. She's like, oh, I went to college with that kid.

[Toledo]

Oh, maybe that was his in.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Brady]

No background or. Yeah, maybe dad has money.

[Brett]

That's what I'm thinking. He kind of came from confidence, so probably, yeah. He could have been loaded, but he did it. I don't know. But I happen to know that the lady was talking to is loaded, so she's not working from a I need money guy thing. In fact, I pulled up in my Bronco, and she goes, oh, my God, that's awesome. And I'm like, thanks. And she goes, I have one, too. Like, oh, yeah. And so I said. She goes, I just got it. Want to see it? I'm like, sure. So we wandered over, just parking right there, and my. All right. Yeah, yeah. All right. I'm like, you're getting. After this. Go to the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. She's got one of those vintage ones. Not like the. Like. Not an old one. Like, have you seen the vintage company that makes Broncos? They're modern.

[Brady]

They're modern, but they're the vintage look.

[Brett]

Right they start at 250 grand.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And hers was loaded. And so I pull my Teemu Bronco up next to it, and it's beautiful, but I'm like, jesus, Christmas. This thing is, man.

[John Holmberg]

I would ask her to the bathroom too.

[Brett]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I guess that's true. I didn't think of that. I'm happy with mine. Mine's nice. But this thing is, you know, that Rolls Royce level.

[Brady]

My little toy.

[Brett]

Yeah. And that's what she says. There's a toy. She goes, it pulls my boat. I'm like, of course it does. And she's very sweet, She's a nice person, but she doesn't need, like, I don't think she's waiting for a dude to come rescue her financially. I'm pretty sure that already happened. And I'm pretty sure that dude's mad at her because he's got to cut her a check to keep those broncos in line. Whatever happens, happens. She's. It's crazy. Anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway.

[Brett]

Keep shooting your shots, boys. I will always be the guy who. Who can't do that. I've never. I just laugh at it. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Homberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Yeah, yeah. Feeling good on a Wednesday. Yeah. Getting through it. Smile on my face. Everything's good. Sons won last night and again that nobody was playing. They had a tight one against Brooklyn, but they walked away with the W and another. Did another day without book under your belt and keep walking. I got to start thinking about basketball because we got one more football game left. And then my life goes into some sort of weird, like, strange weight. I'm gonna. I'm gonna watch dudes in their underwear in a couple weeks, just running around in Indianapolis and the combine is going to become important to me. I have got a problem, and it's called the football problem. And I ain't alone. One more game, and this weekend is going to be the first test.

[Brady]

You got the Olympics.

[Brett]

That's true. You know, it'll kill some time. That's a good one. Stacy just emailed me and said. My emails are like. Everybody's like, you know, it's funny. You get those. Stick to fart jokes. Don't don't be political. I'm not being political. I mean, opposite. But I can talk about anything I want. And. But people say that. And then all my emails are about what's going on. Like everybody's. Everyone wants to yell at me and then tell me not to talk about it. It says homeburg. Stacy, I agree. I'm with you on this a little bit. I don't understand it. I'm going to answer this before I even read it. I don't know. It says, do you feel empathy for people who are trying to do the right thing and get attacked or then they get pepper sprayed or mistreated? It sounds terrible when you and Brett say you like watching hippies get hit in the nuts. That is my favorite question anyone's ever asked me. Do you feel any empathy for when hippies get hit in the nuts? And I can honestly tell you, no. 0. I could be on the hippie's side and I'm.

[Brady]

It's like watching someone fall down.

[Brett]

I can't. You know, like, we could be on the same side. Guys, you're terrible people. I can't believe what you're doing. And then somebody hits the hippie next to me in the nuts and we are in. We're simpatico. And you would just hear. That's all. I would just. You get hit right in the nuts, like, no matter what. That's funny. She says you. Yeah, it sounds terrible when you and Brett say you quote, like, watching hippies get hit in the nuts. Hilarious. I don't want to be friends with anybody who doesn't. If I met somebody and I'm like, hey, you're a good guy. You want to go golf? And he's like, yeah, just one thing. I draw the line. If you think hippies getting hit in the nuts is funny. I'm like, ah, we can't be friends. He seems so great up until that boring.

[Brady]

That hippie that got hit.

[Brett]

Yeah. Ask that guy if he. Anyway, she says that that guy was standing up for something and sacrificed himself for the greater good. I love you for jokes, but why don't you have feelings, Stacy? Here's what I say about that. If he stood up for the greater good. A, what's his name? Remember him? B, find him and say, do you wish you'd have moved when the guy with the pepper with the big beanbag gun said.

[Brady]

And nothing to say. But wasn't that there were people, what they call them, that they just went to the events to stir it up.

[Brett]

I don't care why? Honestly, I don't care why he was there. He could have been there for, like, a dog. Cause which is my heart. And he's standing in the middle of the road, and a dude with a gun that shoots giant bags of beans at his balls is saying, move. And he didn't.

[Brady]

Protect these puppies.

[Brett]

The protect the puppies. Look, the protect the puppies thing for me goes. And you brought your dog a snatch in today. What's his name?

[Brady]

Catch. Catch.

[Brett]

You brought Snatch the dog. I forgot for a second. And if I got a dude aiming a weapon at me saying, that's enough. Protect the puppies. Marching. I'm like, I think we made our point here. Go ask that guy if he. If he's proud of all he accomplished when that hippie got caught in the balls. And look, protect the puppies if a hippie gets hit in the nuts. I. Maybe I don't have feelings. Maybe I'm part sociopath, but I find it funny. It's funny because it's not me. But I guarantee you ask that guy. He's not exactly sitting there going, I do it again. I bet I haven't seen him at any more marches as the nut dude. He's the bravest man we've got in Phoenix. I bet you that guy was like, I don't ever have that happen again. I got a little fired up over whatever. Whatever. I don't even know what he was marching for. I don't care. Doesn't matter, Trump.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna watch it right now.

[Brett]

There it is again. And look, everybody else moved, and he's kicking tear canisters. He's got a gas mask, which. Which means he wants to be part of this.

[Brady]

And they're telling them to just takes.

[Brett]

It in the ball. I don't care if that was to save babies.

[John Holmberg]

Let's watch it again.

[Brett]

It's just. Bam.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[Brett]

I mean, that is a direct. And to that cop that did it. You. But what a shot.

[Brady]

Just misses the wagon.

[Brett]

And there's Kaepernick and Colin Kaepernick comes out and saves the day.

[Brady]

Look at the guy with the wagon, just going to find his own business, just.

[Brett]

But look at. Everybody else is like, ah, dude's gonna shoot you in the ball. If I own a gas mask, I'm going places. They gas people. That doesn't seem like something I want to do. And no, maybe I don't have feelings. Maybe you caught me on that one.

[John Holmberg]

My God, it looks like Doug Hopkins.

[Brett]

Or is that hop? I don't think Hopkins Would have.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, I'm just saying look at the guy. Wait, watch after he gets hit.

[Brett]

Which one? Kaepernick? No, no, no. All right, there's that. That guy goes down, hitting the nuts. Hippie in the nuts.

[John Holmberg]

This guy right here.

[Brett]

When they go up and then Doug Hopkins is buying people's houses right there at the march. Right? There it is. That's Hopkins.

[John Holmberg]

I got five grand for you, bro.

[Brett]

Got five grand. What are you doing out there, Dougie? Oh, there's the Doug Hopkins guarantee right there.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I've never gotten hit in the nuts with a pepper ball. Never been in a situation where I was going to.

[Brett]

Because if I'm going anywhere with you and I'm like, hey, what's with the gas mask? Just trust me. We're gonna have some fun.

[Brady]

I'm getting out, and let's cross the barriers. We're not supposed to.

[Brett]

Let's stand there when those guys with those giant guns are yelling at us to move. I'm like, I'm gonna move. Like, that is when I'm going home. Jamie Rosales says, you know who you don't see at any of these rallies? Us Mexicans. They should be the ones maddest about this. But they know. They know is incon isn't going their way. So let's come up with a new plan. Smart. And I do.

[Brady]

And the fact of you're going over there and getting detained, it could be a mistake. You don't want to take any chances.

[Brett]

Like, you're like, they're the ones that are showing true. Like, there it is. Because they're like, I'm scared of ice. I'm staying away from it. And it's all these hippies.

[Brady]

Can you afford taking two weeks away from work? Not intentionally. Yeah, unplanned.

[Brett]

Yeah, Blacks aren't there either. It seems to be just a bunch of really angry whites. And I'm whatever, that's great. Go get them. But once the. Once the. Once you have to put a gas mask on, it's pretty much over. Live to fight another day, they say. Hell, the ref is stopping it. Sometimes your favorite side loses around. But quit yelling at me about not having feelings, because if you don't think hippies getting hit in the balls ever is funny. I'm empathetic for the fact that I've been punched in the pills before, and it's, like, no fun. But also, I didn't stand there. Like, we have those videos Brett shows when ladies are just kicking dudes in the balls and really what are you doing? I don't have empathy for when you put yourself in a situation that somebody could hit you in the nuts. And if you're wearing a gas mask, you know. You know the dude shooting gas hatches, like, well, we're not going to get to him. So what else you got? A sandbag. I could hit him in the balls with it. You know, give him one of those.

[Brady]

Well, you can plan ahead. March 28th.

[Brett]

That's right. Another march for kings. Not having kings, which we don't, but. Okay. And bring your gas masks. I just don't get it, so. No, I don't. And if that dude's name was, like, legendary because we had to build statues after he got hit in the nuts. And then laws changed, but nothing happened. He got hit in the nuts essentially for nothing. I mean, he just ran around in the city for a night or two and was mad. And people are like, all right, that's enough. You're allowed to be mad, but that's enough. And then they nutted him, and no one knows who he is. He's the dude. I guarantee he's the dude in the office that every birthday, like, hey, it's Brian's birthday. And then they show the videos, like, that is a joke between his friends and him.

[John Holmberg]

His white elephant gifts. A box or a bag of pepper balls.

[Brett]

Bag of pepper balls. Or a thing of ice from Circle K. Sit on this. Or peas.

[Brady]

I'm forgetting. But what was that protest?

[Brett]

We don't know. And I don't even care. Don't even look into it. It doesn't matter because all the protests are the same. It's angry, and nothing changes. So it doesn't work. Travis says, does Stacy's mom still have it going on? If not, shut up, lady, and get in the kitchen. All right, that's too far, Travis. Now, I got empathy for Stacy with that. But it would be nice if you made us something. Something spicy, like peppery. This is says not having feelings and not having feelings for idiots are two different things, Cody. I like that. Yeah. That's wisdom. I have feelings, but I guess I don't.

[Brady]

It loosens up for.

[Brett]

Yeah, it kind of disappears for dummies. Oh, that guy had it coming. I can tell you, I don't trust anybody in a gas mask.

[John Holmberg]

But I think it was just as funny when she picked up the flashbang yesterday. So it's not just the dudes. It's, you know, it's equal opportunity for us.

[Brett]

That one was great. Idiots are idiots. Okay.

[Brady]

Medic.

[Brett]

Yeah, Medic. Medic. Ah, you're right, Brett. What's funnier? The hitting the nuts thing is I'm going universal. You could show that to a Chinaman. I'm not sure you're allowed to. To show them things.

[John Holmberg]

Be pixelated.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you could. Yeah.

[Brady]

Would it?

[Brett]

That's Japan. I think. Japanese do.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's over there. That's fine.

[Brett]

But you could show the getting hit in the nuts to a Chinaman and be like, oh, right in the pier. And you wouldn't have to explain the context. The lady running around screaming, medic.

[Brady]

He go, watch that.

[Brett]

So I think universally hilarious. Or nutshots. And then, like, just situationally funny as a woman picking up a flashbang and losing a couple fingers.

[John Holmberg]

This guy Tom says, I worked with that guy. We were told not to talk about it the next day. Man, did we laugh at that.

[Brett]

Dude. Nut ball.

[Brady]

Laugh out loud.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if it's true or not, but.

[Brett]

Well, it doesn't matter because you just know that he. He comes limping into work. Well, I saw you on the TV last night there. Todd, shut up. There was a memo says you guys aren't allowed to make fun of me. Oh, not to your face. Sure. I would walk by and give him one of those nut flicks. Dickhead. It's still bruised. Should have moved, Todd.

[Brady]

Check.

[Brett]

You should have moved. You should have warned a cop you brought a gas mask and didn't protect your balls. Think you'd have been Iron man if that thing hit you in the nuts and you just stood there and went, you know, pulled the whole gladiator move. I'm King Kong up in this mother. I just. I get. All my emails are coming because everybody's all fired up about. Just relax. It's fun to watch people get hit in the balls. This one says, what I'm hearing is the whites are protesting because all the manual labor is being taken away, and they don't want to have to do the work. Well, he's a Mexican guy.

[John Holmberg]

There's something to be said about that.

[Brett]

Avila. Yeah, they don't want to pick strawberries. White people worried about their strawberry volume. I don't like strawberries. They can sit and die on a vine. It's like biting a homeless man's nose. I have no interest in a strawberry. Next time you have a strawberry, take the old John Holmberg method. Close your eyes. Picture the dirtiest homeless person you can. And when you bite down into that strawberry, imagine it's his nose. It's the exact Same texture. All those little seeds pop into your mouth like blackheads. You just know he's loaded with them like one of those Biore strips, and you just lick it. That's what a strawberry is. They don't taste good enough to tolerate the gross coconuts. The other one, it's just. If you'd want to. Just. When you eat coconut, just imagine that it's just hair. Once you, like a dude just cut his hair and picked it up off the floor and put it in whenever stew required. Coconut in it. And then close your eyes and say, is this hair or is it food? And you'll quickly realize coconut has. It's one of the biggest food scams pulled on people ever. Coconut is awesome.

[Brady]

You should try it in your coffee.

[Brett]

Oh, hair. It doesn't disintegrate or anything. It just floats in there like fingernails.

[Brady]

The coconut flavor.

[Brett]

Yeah. No, no. Yeah. Clip your fingernails, wrap them in hair, and then put them in your food. Tell me it's not the same exact thing as coconut.

[John Holmberg]

All right. People are wanting to hear that Palladio Ban Fazia or whatever. The Ouch. My Balls song.

[Brett]

Ouch, man.

[John Holmberg]

For that dude.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's. Let's see if that matches. Hold on, let me find those things. Where's the plate Os songs. There's that. Here you go. All right. Fire up the video, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get.

[Brett]

I'll see if I can time it to where that kid starts singing. Singing. Hi. Here we go. The video is playing. Let's see if I can time this to the actual. Here comes. That's gonna be right on time. Here comes the pepper ball to the nuts as loud as you can make it. That's how he sings now. Used to be a baritone. Here comes the big note. If he's getting hit in the nuts is funny 100% of the time. Oh, man, that's good stuff.

[Brady]

Getty Lee wakes up, and that's a nightmare.

[Brett]

Keddy Lee's like, too high. Stop singing like that. Here's a fun thing, too. The Cardinals coaching. They. Here's the first time I've ever seen this. The Cardinals interview a guy to be their head coach, and then he leaves and goes, no, thanks. Like what? Just take me out of consideration. But the best news I've seen, and this is the first admission by the NFL and by every facet of management and leadership that the Patriots cheated. It's. To me, everybody's like, oh, Belichick was a dick. I'm like, no, his punishment is he can't be a first Ballot hall of Famer. And that had to be discussed when they burned all those tapes. Like we're gonna punish you.

[Brady]

You. It's not Jordan.

[Brett]

No. And he. If anybody on on records should be first ballot hall of Famer, it's Bill Belichick. But the fact that he's not tells me that the NFL said it's because you cheated. We can't do it. And they didn't. Yesterday the announcements came out of who's going into the hall and Belichick, he's out. And I, you know, look, I am a adamant hater of Bill Belichick up until recently when he became the coolest dude I've ever seen. But when he was the Patriots coach, he got caught multiple times. The tape thing is massive. If that happened today with the hand gambling we've got and there would have. It would have been a massive scandal.

[Brady]

The evidence it was denied it.

[Brett]

It's already a scandal the way it was back in 01 through 04. But when they. When they. When Roger Goodell said I've seen all the tapes. We've come to our judgment and we're going to destroy those tapes. I knew the second the commissioner in football said we're getting rid of the tapes no one will ever see them. That the guilt was beyond measure. The mob would have killed everyone. Vegas would have killed everyone. And they admitted it. They admitted it was and they. Whatever they had done by and he lost like a couple hundred grand and draft pick and like they admitted what he did was they were just flat cheating. They just knew things they shouldn't have known. And yesterday when they didn't induct him into the hall of Fame first ballot I knew right there gotta be that's because of the tapes. Those tapes. You don't destroy them unless getting having them get out destroys your product. And I think that's what would have happened. I think. I think the NFL all got away with one once they realized what he was up to. Because when you know they're like we. They couldn't make it a bigger deal because then people would have gotten deeper into is scandalous and he didn't need to do it. Which is the crazy part. They were cheating. There's no question. And every Patriot fans like you can't put like yeah, the NFL said no, they're guilty of everything. And they got a huge fine and a year like losing picks. And like their bosses said you cheated and then destroyed the tape. If the tapes weren't any big deal, they'd be like it's not as bad as you think. We did catch them on a couple of things. You can't. They destroyed the evidence, so it never went further. There was an agreement, there was a payout. I think the Italians got paid. But part of it had to be bill. There's going to be some odd embarrassment for you. You're not going to get any NFL honors and things like that until after you're gone. Maybe the Pete Rose thing that when you're dead. Maybe. Maybe. Because if anybody that's pushing it right.

[Brady]

Now, I mean, he's denied.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's. And now I think he's going to want to come back to the NFL and get him.

[John Holmberg]

Might as well.

[Brett]

And then. But I think the NFL would love that because they have to wait five years after a retirement to put you in the hall. So if he comes back, it starts over, you know, like Philip Rivers now has to wait. There's something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Another fun. Unless they make an exception. And they could. But that was the biggest admission to me for the first time that he has a scarlet letter. And I love it. I love it. Especially as the Patriots head into their 12th Super Bowl. And I understand the dude was always looking for an angle, but that tape thing, I'll never forget. Heinz Ward lives here now, and I'll never forget that interview and Bettis, too. And Ben Roethlisberger still says, like, he wasn't there in the 2001 game. But Heinz Ward said they were calling out our plays with our new language we'd installed that week when we'd line up our new words. They were calling out the plays and like, we barely knew it. How did they get this? Because they were filming practices and they were just lining up and beating them to everything. And Jerome Betta said there was one time we lined up and the nose guard, Vince Wilfort, called timeout and then ran off the field. He goes, nose guards don't run 50 yards unless they got some information or something's going on. And he said he ran off the field, talked to the coach. He goes, when's the last time you ever saw the nose guard stand up and go, timeout? It's never happened. He goes, they had the wrong personnel in and they knew it. And there was a goal line thing. They come back out with a new personnel. And Betta said, all we did was flip the play to the other side because we're. He said, but then they came Back and they knew exactly what we were doing. Said stuffed him at the line. And Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning wouldn't have meetings inside the locker room at Gillette Stadium because they'd go into the bathroom and whisper changes at halftime. They're like, I don't trust them. They bugged things. Yesterday was the first time the NFL ever said, we know that. And everybody thinks it's because he was an asshole. He was an ass. There's plenty of assholes in the hall of Fame. He's an ultimate jerk off. But him being denied into the hall, it says so much more than just, oh, we got you, you jerk. There's a. That's an admission.

[Brady]

Remind me. The Football hall of Fame is voted on by.

[Brett]

Oh, they have. I think it's just hall of Fame members. I think the press has some stuff to do with it. There's. Because it's not committees. No, no, no. Baseball is ridiculously stupid. And they're punishing people just for. For being assholes.

[Brady]

Like.

[Brett]

But Bonds is a jerk to the press. Yeah. And if you're a jerk to the press and you've had a couple back, they're gonna pay. They're gonna make you wait. Pete Rose should have absolutely been in the hall of Fame, but they wouldn't give him the honor because, you know, he gambled. But are they now?

[John Holmberg]

I can't remember with Pete. Now he's eligible, but he still didn't make it in this year.

[Brett]

I don't know. They're gonna put him in. Actually. I didn't know this. Clint just said coaches don't have to wait the five years like players. I didn't know that. I didn't get them right in. So then why'd they wait? I guess they didn't. He's only been. He's been out for five years. I saw yesterday it was his first year of eligibility, but some guy just sent me a picture of a strawberry and a homeless man's blackhead nose. It's the same. I'm gonna send that to Brett. We're gonna. He said, you got me again, you bastard. I just vomited in my mouth. And then he sent me a picture of a Biore strip covered. That's the grossest thing humans do. Whatever. We collect in our nose pores. And.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

We invented things like a micro prairie dog home. Yeah.

[Brady]

They're all popping out of those.

[Brett]

Pull it out and it's like you've got little maggots living in your pores. A nose like mine. There's like Little baseball bats in there. Oh, it's so gross. I had a friend, oh, this was when I first started boxing. If you punched him in the nose, all of his pores seeped. This oozing. It was off. I didn't want to get it on my gloves. He jabbed him. His nose would start to kind of pop. He had.

[Brady]

And it was liquid plastic coating on your gloves.

[Brett]

It was. Yeah, it was. He had a shield and. Oh, it would, it would. I'd wipe my gloves on my shorts every time. Like, if you landed anything on him, his nose would ooze white pussy. But it didn't show until it got pushed. There was a kid at Tony Romans, he used to take his two fingers and put them in his nostrils and push out and a bunch of stuff.

[Brady]

Christ.

[Brett]

That'S gross. Anyway, back to Bill Belichick. Not that you guys don't want to hear more about nose blackheads heads and that weird stuff that lives in your. And I bet you there's a bunch of people right now just going, you know what? Just grab their whole nose and squeeze and see what comes out because it's bleh. Yeah. We invented an. A whole shelf at the drugstore to pull all that stuff out of our. Our gross ass faces. That's why when you see those people who have that AI skin, like, gosh, so lucky they don't. They take a biore strip and nothing. I do it, it's like sunflower everywhere. At least I don't get like, if I push on my nose, a bunch of junk doesn't shoot out. But I'm. Yeah, I'm back to the thing. I'm happy that Bill Belichick is being shunned because he's a cheat. But the best part about it is, is that now the Patriots are going to get. I don't like that the media is handling it the way they are because they just think it's all, you know, behavior. It's not. And so the Patriots have to go into the super bowl with this hanging over them a little bit, which is some of your. Some of your. Dan, you have to admit it, Patriot fans, some of your championships are in question. Because of that, you have to say, yeah, we probably. We probably. You won every game by three points the first. All your Super Bowls early on were barely wins, and it usually got off to a pretty good start, which is telling me that you knew the first 15 play. That pretty much seals the deal that you got. And all right, now we're in a real game, but we we took advantage of the first 15 and we got a 6, 0 lead. You spotted yourself a little and you have to admit that because the NFL just did. And I love it.

[Brady]

Never fumbled.

[Brett]

Well, that was the deflate gate. Five years in a row, they had a fumble rate that was triple second place. We just held onto the ball better than everyone else. That's weird because it just. It moved all. Nobody was consistently second, but the Patriots were first all the time. And that's when the Colts caught that pass and said, they're deflating the balls. When they have the ball, it's a little bit less. It's easier to hold on to just a little. It wasn't about passing, it was about holding. It was the running backs and the receivers could hold it. It's a great debate. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's just a pound like it does matter. You ever play basketball with a ball that's a little deflated? It doesn't bounce the same? They were doing that too. And for five straight years. And then once they got caught in the deflate thing, suddenly the Patriots are. They're not holding the ball like they used to. They're back in the mix of like, ah, we were 13th this year. You were first every year for five straight years in a category nobody's ever run the table off.

[Brady]

There's two guys in the locker room. Get rid of them.

[Brett]

Yeah, they fumbled like, it was like one fumble for every, you know, 67 touches or something like that. The next closest was like 23. We fumble the ball every once in a while. It comes out. Never. We're just better coached. No, because when we took your. When we re inflated the balls, you guys started fumbling it like everybody else. And that one, I don't blame him for. That's clever. That's smart. But again, everybody kind of lost sight of why they were doing it. Oh, it's Tom Brady can throw it better. It's easier. No, it's the other way. It's the dudes catching it can hold it after they get it and it's harder to notice. Great cheat right there again. If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. But don't get caught, because once you get caught, you were cheating. That's over.

[John Holmberg]

How many years were they. You know, I mean, that's just it. I mean, it took them a while to catch them. Wasn't they got caught the first time?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

And they kept getting involved. And again, they were leading the league and getting caught doing stuff. And everyone don't do any words picking on us, like, because you keep getting caught. Everybody's doing something, but nobody's getting caught but you.

[Brady]

What's the lesson? You cheat, you get rewarded. Right? Tom Brady's got a nice contract.

[Brett]

He's got $36 million a year to tell us about football. Gronk, and he was great, and Gronk was great. And they had a little help along the way. Every team does. But you guys got caught red handed a couple times. So Patriot fans, you have to sit back and say, yeah, we hammered a couple of those, but we got it. And when you got caught, they can't take it away. So it's kind of a wink and a nod like, you guys are bad. And we still got three Super Bowl. By the time you caught us, we had three Lombardies. All right, well, don't do anything else stupid, all right? And they didn't for a little while. They didn't go to any Super Bowls. Next thing you know, they start winning Super Bowls again. They're like, how come your footballs are all flatter than. God damn it. They're doing it again. Now. I'm gonna bone a teenager. This guy getting away with. What a life.

[Brady]

It's boring. Needs to do something else controversial.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. I hope when he gets. Because he will get into. Maybe not that when he goes into the hall of Fame, though. If they wait until he's dead. I hope that teenage bride of his goes up and does the speech because that'll just drive everybody crazy. I don't have the ultimate Belichick.

[Brady]

She's grown out of his Marlon Brand.

[Brett]

Yeah. I'm gonna speak for my husband. Oh, God.

[Brady]

It'd be great if his bronze bust. She's just to the side.

[Brett]

I want her on it. And I want a Hall of Fame bust with my girlfriend. She's hot. Doing a chair. I want her in the background doing chair. Nothing weirder than that dude smiling at a cheer contest. He is sitting in the crowd just like. I can still smell her on my fingers. This is gross. Think of that. That's happening. Bill Belichick gets to throw digits in that girl, mentally. Picture that for a second. I think the strawberry nose thing was bad. Picture Bill Belichick's bloated body throwing it in that cheerleader. She likes it. There's my thumb. I'm gonna put two in the pink one on the sticker. I learned that one from Gronk and she likes it. I'm gonna go to sleep now.

[Brady]

Phone conversations. Gronk doesn't Talk about.

[Brett]

And Gronk, what was that move he used on that girl? That two in the pink and one in the white? It wouldn't think. I wanted to think. Is that a pinky or a thumb? It depends. All right, I'll practice on my team. Brag.

[Brady]

It would have been funny if it first broke out that he was dating. She's wearing that cut off sleeve pull over, you know, because how the players got busted with the jersey.

[Brett]

Oh, wearing his clothes. Yeah, I gotta put on. That's hot. I put my thumb in your butt. 80 years old. I don't care about age differences. That one's a little far. Like 60 years, 58 years apart. Like, I'm proud of him.

[John Holmberg]

Problem is.

[Brett]

Oh, nothing. Look, I'm, I'm. I tip my cap to it.

[John Holmberg]

But he's making America great again.

[Brett]

Yes.

[Brady]

It's only like 34 years.

[Brett]

She. No, it's more than that. She's 20 something and he's 70 plus he's 72 or 3. I thought she was like, she's 25 or 24. I think they're 50 years apart.

[John Holmberg]

48 years.

[Brett]

Which makes the finger. Which makes the fingering gross. Like sex for her.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

Yeah, she's the real hero here because she gives hope to man that you can turn 70 so long as you've, you know, succeeded a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

But he's a hero too. I mean, it's something he's a hero.

[Brett]

Because he went strive for. But the fingering part is the gross thing. Like the sex is nothing but Any, any man in his 70s going with his. It's just gross. Like fumbling around in his car, getting her on road trips. Like, ew. You don't want to picture real 70 year olds doing that at all. Everybody's got like a parent or grandparent in their 70s now. Picture Grandpa driving down the road, reaching over, going, yeah. Giving her the old captain hook. It's gross. That's what Belichick's doing and that's why he's not in the hall of fame.

[John Holmberg]

And he should.

[Brett]

Oh, look at him. He'd be in the hall of fame for that. That.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that.

[Brett]

Come on. Pulling up pictures of them together. It's just. He's got all those. Feel the ring in there.

[Brady]

Buried.

[Brett]

I'm gonna bury a ring in this broad. It's gross. But you know what? They look happy. And that's the weirdest part people hate the most. He doesn't care. He's not in the hall of Fame. She dresses up like a Mermaid and does like. Like, what's this for the video face? Yeah, it's for my Instagram, whatever the hell that is. Dressed like a Morton's fisherman and land a mermaid. I'll do it. And he's doing it. He's dressed up like the fisherman and he's landed a mermaid and he. Are you gonna put that up on the face? Face swap.

[Brady]

Yeah. It's not what it's called, Bill, but.

[Brett]

Yeah, whatever it is.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that.

[Brett]

Put the mermaid outfit on. I'm gonna guess what I get to that mermaid. I got a finger her blowhole. It's gross.

[John Holmberg]

He's just walking around. All of us like, love.

[Brett]

It's jealous. Yeah. And we are. And that's why. Absolutely. The only reason people are mad is because it's gross. It's like, all right, you're thinking of what's gross. You're the pervert. You're thinking of them doing it. What do they have to talk about? You're missing the point. Talk.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Why? See, he got to his 70s and he realized eventually you have to. This whole talking thing has been overrated my whole life. He's lost a couple. He's lost a couple of wives.

[Brady]

Gets the answers like a press conference.

[Brett]

He's lost a couple of wives. My guess is because they were age appropriate conversations going on. It's like, oh, God, how long is she gonna talk about her arthritis? If I hear another word about menopause. You're supposed to listen to. I'm gonna go to a beauty contest and see what I can pull when he did it. She seems nuts, though. But whatever. There they are. When they met. All right, put those pictures anyways. Not in the hall of Fame. And I like it. I like it a lot. So sorry, Bill, Sorry, Patriots fans, but this is the first admission that the NFL. Whoa. Who's that?

[John Holmberg]

Some Instagram.

[Brett]

Brett, turn off the tv. Wow. Yeah. First admission. The NFL said.

[John Holmberg]

Ah.

[Brady]

Would you like to go to the bathroom?

[Brett]

Got a. Punish him. Yeah, I'm gonna be in the bathroom either way. With that thing wandering around at 7:16. Let's get ourselves a glorious Wake Up Song. Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, Wake Up Song is right here. We got Sepultura on the list. Limp Bizkit Making Love to Morgan Wallen.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Drowning Pool, Rage Against a Machine, Ministry, Mud Vein, System of a Down, Three Days Grace, Stone Sour, Iron Maiden, Run to the Hills for the Zip Zoners. Snot My Balls for the guy that got hit in the nuts with the.

[Brett]

Let's Go with Snot. Okay. Snot. My balls. Your chin, my ball. Church. It's a great one. And again, to Stacy, who emailed and said, john doesn't have any feelings. And maybe, you know, I think Brady and his dog Snatch can attest to the fact that I have feelings, that Snatch and I, we got along real well right away. Snatch was a little. I came up the stairs, didn't know Brady was bringing his dog in. This morning, there's a dog in the hallway, and he goes, ooh. And I came up the steps. I'm like, we're good. And Brady goes, that's Snatch. It's horrible. And so I pet Snatch. And then we. He leaned on me, and we became buddies. He gave me little smooches and everything else, and I felt great. And that proof I care, you know? And people will say stuff like, if a dog got hit in the balls, you'd be upset. I'm like, what the hell are you shooting pepper balls at dogs for? Of course I'd be upset. Something's gone crazy. Haywire. If a dog's getting pepper balled in the nuts, he's not wearing a gas mask. Don't shoot dogs in the nuts. People standing in the road with gas masks, probably gonna get hit in the nuts with something, and I'm gonna giggle. I'm sorry. I like it. Brett likes it. I'm not alone.

[Brady]

Hilarious.

[Brett]

That video's been circulated. I got three people that sent it to me while we were looking at it. This is great. One of them is one of my cop buddies. Like, I still have the video. He sent it right over. Like, that guy that's. Most people find it hysterical. Beyond the social ramifications of why and whatever he was protesting, someone don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Someone looped it on YouTube where it just keeps hitting him. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Because see it on the top five.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Protest.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, yeah. We. I've seen the Internet. We all clutch our pearls and act like we're. We have the moral virtue of a nun. And then we watch all that stuff and giggle and terrible things. Everybody's putting on a show, and the people who aren't get yelled at. Oh, you're horrible. Like, no, I'm not. Just not. I'm not auditioning for you every day. In a weird way, I am, but I'm not. I don't really mind if you disagree with me. That seems to be lost on culture now, but I'll tell you right now, we could unite over it, because that ball shots. That dude could be on my team. It could Be a relative. And I'd still find this video funny. And if you know him, I don't know where he. He's out there today. He's in Phoenix somewhere today going, pricks. Bringing it up again. That people are going to send me that. Send him the video today. I don't know what. What it is chocolate cake day or whatever. It's also send Guy who Got Hit in the Balls the video day. If you've got it and you know him and tell me who it is, I'll send him. I just got it from a co. Great Stuff My Balls by Snot. This is a good one right here. And it's for you, balls guy. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brady]

No membership fee.

[Brett]

I've heard enough of this. Homberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. That's funny. I was asking Brett, like, Green Day, even Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I'm singing along. I'm enjoying it. I like it. I'm not a huge Green Day fan.

[John Holmberg]

But I thought the whole time.

[Brett]

I know. And I turned to Brett and I say, even the good songs, Brett. Even the. Like, this one's a good one. Shaking his head. And I'm like, no, you can't even get past. We asked him why I love the last yeah. And he says, because they're idiots or douchebags. Well, that. That. Beyond that.

[John Holmberg]

But.

[Brett]

But before that, he says, oh, they're. They're annoying idiots. And I'm like, well, if being an idiot affected your record collection, you'd have less records.

[John Holmberg]

That's not what I said. We can't say what I said.

[Brett]

No, that's true. But it replaced a bit of C.

[John Holmberg]

And a couple different C words.

[Brett]

All right, but then you said, you're not punk rock if your album becomes a Broadway play.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And then you call them C, Right?

[John Holmberg]

A couple times. There's a couple more beeps, but yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. The nicest man in the world, Jim Manley texted and said, all right. It's impossible to eat my breakfast this morning between your strawberry homeless man nose comp and then the Belichick fingers. And then went back to the very first break of the show, where I feel like if something says person has notifications silenced, I assume that's just for me. And then it says, jim has notifications silenced. And I'm like, did you just silence me? And he goes, no, but I did have to shut the show off to Finish breakfast. I'm not gonna talk about Belichick's Captain Hook anym, but deep down, we all know it's happening. You just hate when reality shows up uninvited. Reality's a dick. That's a great T shirt. Reality's a dick. Boy. Is it because it shows up uninvited.

[Brady]

Pressing them already.

[Brett]

Yep. Sorry about that. I just have a thing for strawberries and I've told people that. And it. You know what? And the reason I know I'm right about it, it is because everybody goes. Oh, come on. Because they don't go, no, it's nothing like that. No one's ever argued my point that biting a strawberry is the same as biting a homeless man's giant, alcoholic, blackhead filled nose. It's the same. And nobody's ever gone, oh, that's not. You just never thought about it. And think about me. Put yourself. Be empathetic to me. My brain came up with that. That's not like that's the world I live in that I. That I thought of that.

[John Holmberg]

How do you come up with strawberries in WC Fields?

[Brett]

Because they look the same.

[Brady]

His nose is delicious.

[Brett]

You take a bite of that and that burst of flavor comes out. Close your eyes and eat a strawberry and tell me I'm wrong.

[Brady]

Nobody who likes to discourage me. I mean, it's all I know I have a ton of strawberries, but I like them.

[Brett]

You're an outlier. I think if you found a strawberry, take it to the next level and.

[Brady]

Go to San Diego and. And go to that. You pick up field.

[Brett]

Oh, you're picking up homeless guys.

[Brady]

Oh, the strawberries that are overriped and.

[Brett]

I don't know what that means.

[Brady]

Juicy noses that are.

[Brett]

That's what you do in San Diego. You go to.

[Brady]

We did it one time.

[Brett]

Do manual labor.

[Brady]

Kirby was young.

[Brett]

Why?

[Brady]

It's fun.

[Brett]

I mean, up until like a month from now. We got people for that. It isn't. You took your daughter strawberry. There's beaches and like SeaWorld.

[Brady]

It's right near. There's one real close to Legoland.

[Brett]

You guys went and did migrant work?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

For why?

[Brady]

It's a good lesson.

[Brett]

You paid for it, didn't you?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Worst vacation idea I've ever heard in my life.

[John Holmberg]

I wanted to see what it show Kirby what it was like to not live in Gilbert.

[Brett]

Hey, if we go to the Best Western and give them 20 bucks, we get to clean some rooms.

[Brady]

They had that option. I would have for sure done that.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm Positive. That's a great vacation spot. Hey, do you want to help us pick strawberries?

[Brady]

Yeah, my whole family does when I was growing up.

[Brett]

You want to give us $20 for that? Oh, that's it. What a deal. You can keep the strawberries. Oh, my gosh. For $20, I get strawberries. I can't go to the store and get them for four.

[Brady]

You pick them?

[Brett]

Yeah. How much was it?

[Brady]

What? You know, I don't know, like, 10 bucks.

[Brett]

To go pick strawberries?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

They're at the store for cheaper.

[Brady]

You can pick out your own gems.

[Brett]

You can do that.

[John Holmberg]

When I was a kid, when my.

[Brady]

Grandfather retired down in Florida, we would go pick oranges and grapefruits.

[Brett]

Well, sure. Would you paid to do it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Why?

[Brady]

They have it probably down here?

[Brett]

No, we drive through doing them a favor. My house, we put. There's a bucket.

[Brady]

I know. Well, now there's so many in the yards. But there used to be, you know, you'd go to the orchard.

[Brett]

How much was. How much did you pay the strawberry pickers to pick to do their job? If it's more than four bucks, they basically say it.

[Brady]

You know, it's like 12.95 for. I don't know. You know, you get, like, as many.

[Brett]

Strawberries as you need at Trader Joe's.

[Brady]

For six bucks, and then you never finish them in your hotel room. You got a giant basket.

[Brett]

That is the stupidest thing anyone's ever told me.

[John Holmberg]

Brady just talked me out of ever going on vacation with him.

[Brett]

Poor Caitlyn was abducted by Brady last summer and then forced to do migrant work.

[Brady]

Well, hers was different. She had to make shoes for a day.

[Brett]

I don't understand that. Like, I go. You paid someone to go pick something that's readily available for much cheaper at a store because you didn't get, like.

[Brady]

No, it's cheaper than the store.

[Brett]

No, it's not. 12.95 for strawberries.

[Brady]

Somehow it works out to be no him. You're cutting out the middleman.

[Brett]

You paid more to do the work. Then you could have just gone to.

[Brady]

Trader Jones and it was the tail end of the season.

[Brett]

You had to really get in there because they were running out.

[John Holmberg]

They had to get rid of them.

[Brett]

Yeah, they had to. They were the bad ones. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah.

[Brady]

It's like going to the pumpkin patch.

[Brett]

Yeah. This guy says Brady's made bad decisions since I've listened to this show about strawberries. That's a terrible one. Remember when he would Give his mom sexy chocolate covered strawberry. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that was weird, too. Too. You knew about that, right? Yeah, every year. Used to send.

[John Holmberg]

We just talked about it the other day.

[Brett]

Like Mother's Day. Mom's dirty.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought it was Valentine's Day.

[Brett]

That. Oh, it was Mother's Day. I think it was Valentine's Day, too.

[Brady]

Yeah, but it was mostly Mother's Day on. On that one. But they're available.

[Brett]

Yeah. That is a sexy. And some lingerie. Send over some lingerie. Strawberry panties from Mom. Sure, why not? If it's strawberries, Brady will make a bad show.

[Brady]

Nice setup.

[Brett]

This one says slaves would be rolling in their graves. They do the same thing at local farms. And I've never felt more white. Well, we get to do what the migrants do. There's a gem.

[John Holmberg]

Kerber d'. Herbs.

[Brett]

Hey, man, we could have gotten these at the Trader Joe's.

[Brady]

Dad, it's gonna surprise you. It didn't become a tradition going to San Diego. No.

[Brett]

I don't even know how you found it. It.

[Brady]

It's right there on the field or.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know where a field, but.

[Brady]

On the Legoland right off the highway.

[Brett]

It's close to Legoland. And you chose strawberry picking.

[Brady]

Well, we went to both, but this was. You know. You want to get some strawberries?

[Brett]

Okay. She thought you meant at the store.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Yeah, everybody would if you said, you want to get some burgers. I'm not. And you pulled up at the slaughterhouse and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Brady]

It was a good. You know, she's crying the whole time. Good lesson.

[Brett]

Listen, keep picking My back. Stay bent down like this.

[Brady]

Use your legs.

[Brett]

That is weird. This guy says if you play. I'm with Brett. You play Green Day. I'm done listening for the whole day. It destroys your day.

[Brady]

See?

[Brett]

Your green day. And then Christopher says the whiny crybaby C word. Sea suckers. Like, you're famous. Get the F over it. Be a man. I can't effing Stan. Green Day, man.

[John Holmberg]

See?

[Brett]

Same with Linkin Park. At least he had the decency to die. What is going on out there? Guys are jerks. Oh, my gosh. All right, I'm gonna leave it up to Brady to make more bad choices. Sorry about the strawberry thing. Coconut's no different. Different, but.

[Brady]

Won'T ever do that one.

[Brett]

Yeah, man.

[Brady]

Pick your own coconuts.

[Brett]

Yeah. If you. Hey, Kirby. Hoofing up trees. There's some Tongan underneath hitting you in the ass. Yeah. Manly says you're solely responsible for the reduction in Arizona strawberry sales. I. Look, it's not my fault. That's what they are. Like, think of me, Jim. My brain came up with that. That's what my brain does to me. That's why I go to therapy. My brain does that.

[John Holmberg]

This guy said, it's also your brain that thinks about your dad's noises the same as yours when having sex.

[Brett]

Right. This isn't fair. Like, I'm living a different life than you guys. I can't listen to REO speedwagon and not think of my mom singing it. And then she's thinking, like, the whole time she's singing it, she's like, oh, I need some of that Dan dick. Like, I have to know that that's right behind. And it was. And all I needed to do was go out and play, and that was what was gonna happen. I can't fight this feeling anymore. Yuck. That's my brain. You live with it for a day. It's miserable up here. Bite into a strawberry and the first thing your brain goes, ugh. It's like a homeless man's nose. Like, why did you do. You know, I couldn't eat guacamole for years because it tasted like a dirty sock, wet sock to me. Like, I don't know what a dirty, wet sock tastes like, but that's what I assumed it would take, and I couldn't do it.

[Brady]

Ryan Alexander says, don't worry about John. He's not bought groceries a day in his life. He has no idea what a bunch of strawberries at Costco costs.

[Brett]

I wouldn't go to Costco. I don't need like 4,000 strawberries.

[John Holmberg]

I did yesterday. They're 5.99 for a two pound pack.

[Brady]

Brett knows.

[Brett]

First off, I'm not ordering strawberries when I doordash my groceries to the house. Second, even with the extra charge, it's not 12.95.

[Brady]

Are you discouraged from eating him now?

[Brett]

And hold on a second. Ryan Alexander. Why do you think I haven't gone grocery shopping in my life? He knows I don't wear this. But we still have to eat. What do you think? I'm just. You're incredibly.

[Brady]

You get them delivered?

[Brett]

Yes. There's people for that for now. Till ice takes care of it. But now it's awesome. You get a little charge on the end there and the groceries just sitting on your porch.

[John Holmberg]

Brady was just. Just kind of doing the preemptive thing just in case ice strikes in the area.

[Brett]

He's doing a bath. Yeah, that ice thing's got me nervous for my strawberry volume. I'm fill the freezer. Curbing herbs. We're going to San Diego. Into the beach, man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Eventually we'll get there. We have to earn our keep.

[Brady]

And when we go to the beach she has to pick up trash for two hours.

[Brett]

Why wouldn't you? And you got to pay the local city. We'll take you turn $30 to pick up some trash.

[Toledo]

Are you the guy that brings that treasure finder to the beach?

[Brady]

No, but I will.

[Brett]

Did it just. Yeah. Did it just dawn on you today though that you paid and they laughed like they should have paid you? Like minimum. Yeah, like minimum. Minimum wage, like migrant worker. $50 an hour kind of stuff.

[Brady]

But how about that? But they don't. They're not keeping. I. I'm keeping what you keep what you pick. Okay.

[Brett]

And you're still doing them a human for it. Yeah. They're short a few Mexicans that day. And you gotta do it once.

[John Holmberg]

But Chris Valenzuela's couldn't make it that day.

[Brett]

So you gotta do it once. No. Yeah. Don't. I'm gonna make it through my whole life never being in a field of Mexicans picking strawberries. I guarantee it.

[Brady]

There weren't.

[Brett]

Of course there weren't. And the white people wouldn't have shown up.

[Brady]

They were sitting.

[Brett]

It's a scam.

[Brady]

Laughing.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's a scam. They pay us to do it. This is great. Then you talk to those Mexicans that do that stuff and they're like, oh, my spine is like inverted C. I'm broken. I'll do it. See, he's stupid. See that lady that's shaped like a table because she's been hunched over strawberry fields her whole life and you're over there giving 1299 toughest one's potatoes.

[Toledo]

Did they give you that little stool with the wheels that goes between down the road?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Did you hear on delay that was extra.

[John Holmberg]

He wasn't paying for that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Was there an andelay involved And a whistle made. You have to stop.

[Brady]

Extra.

[Toledo]

He draws the line at $13 a pound.

[Brady]

Is I asked a break for water. Can I get some water, boss? No. Going to the bathroom, boss.

[John Holmberg]

Right where you're standing.

[Toledo]

Right down the leg.

[Brett]

Tyrus emails. He says, good morning. You haven't had a good strawberry until you've been to Costa Rica and bough a bag on the side of the road. You have lost me. Yeah. From a Costa Rican man by a strawberry field. Largest strawberries I've ever Seen big as an apple. $2 for a bag of 40 radio. Pay 12.95 to get them. I'll do all the work too.

[Toledo]

Come on, Juan. Let me give you some money.

[Brady]

Tell me, amigo.

[Brett]

Oh, that's you, amigo.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You try to fit right in.

[Brett]

You get Rick from Geico going. He doesn't need that. He doesn't need to be called amigo. Remember, you don't work here, you don't work here. Yeah, exactly. You're that guy. Why are you picking strawberries? Gave 12 bucks. Nice man. Told me I could keep.

[Brady]

I wouldn't eat that one.

[Brett]

Of course you can keep what you just bought. $12 in strawberries. You could do that at the store.

[John Holmberg]

This guy's wife wanted him to do it too.

[Brett]

Oh, God. That does seem like a wife. Pull over. We're gonna pick strawberries like Mexicans. We're so diverse.

[Brady]

It was a fun family activity.

[Brett]

It's Carlsbad, not San Diego. My first ex wife.

[Brady]

Well, isn't that part of San Diego?

[Brett]

No, it's way north, close to San Diego. It says my first ex wife wanted to go pick them and that's why she's an ex.

[Toledo]

Cody.

[Brett]

That would have been a deal breaker too. Let's do as the migrants do. And we paid a guy 45 bucks to crawl on our bellies under some barbed wire and get into a new county. That's dumb. You pass so many great stores in California full of strawberries. Ralph's all loads of them.

[Toledo]

I hate to admit it, but we did that after Legoland. The strawberries were excellent. Now I realize they also had avocado fields too.

[Brett]

Sure. Do you guys want to help us over cheer? How much? What? Oh, you'll pay me, boy. It's a service you're offering to keep avocados.

[Brady]

Got a friend over there in outside of Carlsbad that has a lot of avocado.

[Toledo]

Yeah, how much did you pay for there?

[Brady]

Because his wife built a tea house and people book they have tea parties there, you know, real quick high tea and stuff.

[Toledo]

Strawberries and avocado.

[Brady]

And he had. He grew. He had the largest bamboo, which is 25 acres.

[Brett]

That's nice. You go pick that.

[Brady]

And he sells as all these exotic plants that he has on his farm.

[Brett]

Brady, you give me $30, I'll let you wear my panda outfit and you go play in the bamboo. That sounds great. And then they just laugh. What a jackass.

[Toledo]

But don't eat it.

[Brett]

Don't eat it. Just pretend. Pretend you're a Panda with the. With the bamboo.

[John Holmberg]

All right, said it before, I'll say it again. I'm not going on vacation with Brady.

[Brett]

Ever. You're right.

[Brady]

You're missing out.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, I can tell. You're missing out on two things. Diarrhea in El Centro. Cause he'll eat there.

[Toledo]

Is 100 to progressive.

[Brett]

You are that guy.

[Brady]

Remember?

[Brett]

You don't work here, you don't work here. But the guy.

[Brady]

I just want to go over here in this aisle over here. There's some good strawberries.

[Brett]

I gave him a sawbuck to do some migrant work. Why? Do you realize how dumb it is now? Has it dawned on you?

[Brady]

Like I said, we.

[Brett]

No, no, no.

[Brady]

We did it one time.

[Brett]

I know. Do you realize how dumb it is now because you've had rose colored glasses on, thinking it was a family adventure. Now you're like, oh, wait, wait, that was stupid. Like, I could have just picked up strawberries.

[Toledo]

So how long was it? And then how many times then said, hey, we should do that again.

[Brett]

You're telling me Legoland's right next to me? There's no Trader Joe's or whole Foods? Delicious strawberries. There's one right there. Of course there is. And you know what? It's worth the extra three bucks not to pick them. But that's why we love you, Brady. It just. You get through somehow. We don't know. Eventually it's going to all come out.

[Brady]

I've paid to go fishing too, before.

[Brett]

Where? In a lake?

[Brady]

Deep sea fishing.

[John Holmberg]

That's something different.

[Brett]

You don't have a big. You know, that's not migrate work.

[John Holmberg]

To go out there and get it.

[Brett]

No, hold on. Time out. Was this like in Maine? Were you like a Gloucester fisherman with nets and like. Okay, that's different. And in Florida, that's called an excursion. What you did was.

[Brady]

We went on a strawberry excursion.

[Brett]

You know, you went on a migrant. You live a day as a migrant.

[Brady]

Worker for 12.95 was more fun.

[Brett]

Yeah, it was. Because it's a fun event. That's a sport. What you did was migrant work. People fight to not do it. You paid for it.

[John Holmberg]

Was this song playing in the background.

[Brady]

Was. But you can't help but sing it.

[Brett]

There's a guy in the back in a chair. Go. The wo heated up. When we play the Beatles. These idiots. You guys are doing great. Keep it up.

[Toledo]

That's how they reel them in.

[Brady]

Play that on the last.

[Brett]

Hey, Andy Reid. I'm not Andy Reid. Andy Reid, your time is about off. You give me another 12.95. I'll let you pick some more. Let me get in my pockets. Sorry.

[Toledo]

You would double charge for dealt.

[Brett]

I didn't know I expensive.

[Toledo]

It's over.

[Brett]

Yeah. You got 10 minutes out there. You get what you get. It's like one of those tanks that shoots money. You catch as much, but you got a time limit.

[Toledo]

I only got a pound.

[Brady]

She didn't go with Brothers Johnson playing Strawberry Alarm. That one too.

[Brett]

They played Alarm.

[Brady]

That one.

[John Holmberg]

I want to see Brady sing this tonight. Singing Dead.

[Brett]

Yeah. Bent over.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In the outfit with the sombrero on.

[Brett]

Look at these dump. Strawberry field.

[Brady]

Hundreds of gringos out there picking strawberries.

[Brett]

You keep it up. Well, we're going to keep you on the staff. I'm doing good work. The foreman says I'm excellent. Another 12.95, I make joy Foreman. You kidding me? I can get a promotion. Chats like Scientology. You give me more, I give you more. Dexter says. All right, Brett, I got to ask.

[Toledo]

Between the vacations of the show, would you rather go with Brady or Toledo?

[Brett]

I'm starting to lean.

[John Holmberg]

It's a tough one.

[Brett]

I think I'd rather blow a lady boy than migrant work with Brady. That's not a vacation. Do you know what? I've never heard a Mexican migrant worker go? It's like living a drink. I'm on vacation every day. 12, 15 hours of strawberry picking for a dollar.

[Toledo]

15 hours? Yeah.

[Brett]

Not. My grandmother's spine is a curve. It's like a 90 degrees.

[Brady]

I never dance at Legoland. Feed strawberries. Then we go to Legoland.

[Brett]

She goes to Legoland just to get those scoliosis bars. Like.

[Toledo]

Juan says, I never hit snooze. I'm up before my alarm every day.

[Brett]

Look at the Weto family. They are. Are they speaking? Are they do our jobs?

[Toledo]

They're lined up.

[Brett]

They're lined up. This is a good idea. I want to go to Legoland. Man. Legoland's 80 bucks. This was 12.95. Pretend the strawberries are Lego keeping money.

[Brady]

We're skipping Legoland today. We're going to spend the day in the field.

[Brett]

Migrant work in the fields with the others. You look at these stupidos.

[Toledo]

It does follow a pattern. You went with the garbage truck guy, didn't you?

[Brett]

And did his job for a while. You do manual labor out front of my house? Yeah, it's the lever. Oh, my God. Where's that little gay boy with my crustless PB and J? Coming right here. Feed the garbage men on Wednesdays. You're a great Guest Brady. And we thank you for popping by.

[Brady]

We hurry up. I got some picking to do.

[Brett]

Yeah, he's gonna get out to the fields today by 12. Because, you know, he paid a guy 100 bucks. He's got eight hours in. It's time now for our picker. You're weird, dude. Everyone would drive by that and go, what, I gotta pay you? I'm just gonna. I'm in San Diego. It's not like I'm starving.

[Brady]

Winning Carlsbad.

[Brett]

No, there's no. Carlsbad is loaded with awesome. Winning Carlsbad.

[Toledo]

Do Lego Land.

[Brett]

Don't do labor. That's what not. That's the opposite of vacation is work. You do a zip line over the migrant workers. That's the fun of being whitey.

[John Holmberg]

Go to the caverns.

[Brett]

Yes. No, the Caverns are in New Mexico.

[John Holmberg]

That's a different.

[Brett]

Different car.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever.

[Brett]

New Mexico Carl's.

[John Holmberg]

Might as well go there instead.

[Brett]

Yeah. Well, what do you got to pay to do strawberries?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Wrestling the bats and stuff. Anyway, you're fun. It's time for the Brady Report. I guess. I don't know what he's doing at the Brady Report. It's brought to you by allprochade.com. you get on there. Brady's got a new commercial out there. People are emailing me about. You did, evidently.

[Brady]

Oh, a Super bowl thing.

[Brett]

Okay. There you go. So all pro shade. If you want to get on their website and see that they're usually fairly entertaining. He and Robert out there doing some manual labor.

[John Holmberg]

He's got the big food jersey on everything. He's ready.

[Brett]

He's washing dishes for 12.95.

[Toledo]

John, I gotta ask. Do Juan and his friends get pissed that all the white people are taking their jobs?

[Brett]

No, they. No, these whites are taking our job. They're paying us. What? How stupid. AllProchade.com is where you can get your shade and get those. Those. I'm so distracted. All I can picture is Brady bent over going, got a good one. This is a juicy one.

[Toledo]

Guy says, I can hear one now. Hey, Gordo, pick up the pace.

[Brett]

You can't have them all. He's 495. How's he doing this? He's like a machine. Anyway, all Prochet will make your beautiful patio even better and keep that sun out of your eyes or off that TV you got back there. And give you outdoor living space. That is an awesome thing to have if you've got a spot in your backyard. That could be an outdoor living space. We'll hop on it. Allproched.com will get you something nice. And knock it out. All Pro Shade.com Brady Report.

[Brady]

Good Wednesday morning to Phoenix. Hello world. Hi. Happy National Kazoo Day.

[Brett]

Yeah, don't start that.

[Brady]

And International Lego Day.

[Brett]

Yeah, you can get real close to.

[John Holmberg]

That when the International Strawberry Day.

[Brett]

That's right next to Lego Day.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. Florence Nightingale, the founder of Modern nursing, was born in Florence, Italy. It's not a nickname. Parents named her after the city.

[Brett]

There's something something. Check out Homework's morning sickness podcast at 98 Kup Hol. Morning sickness. This guy just invited you out. He said, hey, you guys want to come pick strawberries to pay for my tio's funeral? Combo all the stereotypes.

[Brady]

Magicians have been sawing people in half for more than a century. The first time the trick was performed was in London in 1921. The guy who sings the south park theme was almost a member of Metallica.

[Brett]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

That's Claypool.

[Brett]

Yeah, Less. Claypool.

[Brady]

Yeah, Less auditioned to be the. To replace Cliff burton.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In 86. But it didn't work out.

[Brett]

No, he's. He could do it for sure. But there would have been a couple of different bass lines in those Metallica songs, that's for sure.

[Brady]

A new poll asked Americans to rank 2025 on a scale of 1 to 10. The average score came out to 5.3 this year for last year.

[Brett]

Huh.

[Brady]

The average was 5.3 wiener for 2025.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[Brady]

Out of 10. So most people thought it was just above average.

[Toledo]

Oh, rating the year.

[Brett]

Oh, that's what I was like, what inches? Huh? I gotcha. So it was a half a good year year.

[Brady]

Yeah. 20% gave it 5. But breaking it down, Gen X was the lowest with a 5.1 average. Millennials ranked it higher at 5. 3. Gen Z and boomers gave it a 5.

[Brett]

4. Yeah, it wasn't so bad.

[Brady]

1% gave it or 9% actually gave it a 1.

[Brett]

They weren't going to be. If you can't find more than a one out of your year, it's your fault. I know a lot of things can go wrong, but you got 12 months. A couple of them weren't so bad.

[Brady]

Well, the year before 2024, it was a six. One out of ten.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's not bad. By the way, this guy said, I saw Brady yesterday, smiling on the side of the road dressed as the Statue of Liberty. How much did that cost?

[Brady]

That's 50 bucks a day, man.

[Brett]

You're gonna spend $50 a day. Expensive. I'll pay you if I can wear that outfit.

[Brady]

And I had to buy this suit.

[Brett]

Yeah, you can buy the suit, but you got to get it clean. Oh, I will.

[John Holmberg]

Jose Liberty.

[Brett]

El Spino Taxo.

[Brady]

A new report from PayScale.com says that if you get a pay bump this year in 2026, there's a good chance it'll be a peanut butter variety.

[Brett]

I don't know what that means.

[Brady]

I've never heard of that either, but it's been around for a while. Peanut butter raise is when a company spreads money out evenly across the staff, like spreading peanut butter on bread.

[Brett]

Oh. So it just. Everybody gets a percentage boost, like a cost of living adjustment for the whole crew. Oh, that's good. Peanut butter.

[Brady]

Which generally is between three and three and a half percent.

[Brett]

How much cash does Brady have on it? My landscape truck broke down and can't get my guys out. Tell him that he can do it for 50 bucks, but it's got to be cash. I'll mow your grass.

[Brady]

I got my own truck.

[Brett]

I'll come over. 50 bucks. I get to do that. I'm living in a utopia.

[John Holmberg]

I'm robbing you.

[Brett]

These are the. This idiot.

[Brady]

50 bucks.

[Brett]

I'd have done it for seven.

[Brady]

This year's summer work vacation is gonna be unbelievable.

[Brett]

Yeah. So you're an idiot. I find it hysterical. I would have sat in the car and just going, you realize what you're doing? I'm gonna go pick strawberries for a fee. I will wait right here. You don't know what fun looks like Legoland. I'm looking at fun. By the way, there's a Costco right across the street from the strawberry field. What are you doing? Where do you think these strawberries go? Over there.

[Toledo]

It's right across the street.

[Brady]

You know, I did that for you guys. You can save time. Time by not doing it. You're welcome.

[Brett]

Thanks, Jesus. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You seen that comedian that said, I don't know if Trump is Jesus, like, but I wish Jesus was Trump. Like, it's a great. It's a great video. Like, you know, a lot of people say, I couldn't feed these people with all this bread. But look, I've done it. The fish and the bread. It's good fish. To a lot of people, A. It's a brazone or, what's the best fish? It's the Trump fish. And then a lot of people said, bronzino. It's a bronzino. You can't. You can't possibly feed all these people with just a fish. And here I did it. Look. And if. If Jesus was more like Trump, a lot of people said it wouldn't, but here I am. A lot of people said I was dead, but look, they love me. And I'm back. They impeached me. I was on the cross. I was on the cross. I'm not going to say the Jews did it, but they were there, there.

[Brady]

Sweethearts. The little candies you hand out at Valentine's Day. They're adding new conversation hearts with more practical messages in 2026.

[Brett]

I have HIV.

[Brady]

It's called the love is this economy collection. New messages include split rent, carpool, share lock. But it's L, O, G, N. They didn't have enough room for the eye, I guess.

[Brett]

Sure eyes the hardest one to squeeze in there.

[Brady]

Buy in bulk, cook for two.

[Brett]

You know, I just thought of that. Big Tarvy should make their pills like sweethearts. Like sweethearts. Because that's essentially why you take it is so you can bone with hiv. Right? That's what the commercial teaches me. So why not have a little message and said I'm contagious.

[John Holmberg]

Will you blow me?

[Brett]

Or that. Meet me in the bathroom. I have hiv, but it's okay.

[Brady]

Did you hear about the keg chup?

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

The Heinz promotion for Super Bowl 114 ounce keg of ketchup has a little dispenser on the top. They're available for a limited time. You have to sign up to register to win one lot of ketchup. Enter through Heinz Instagram by tomorrow. They're only accepting entries for a couple of days. So if you act fast, get a chance.

[Brett]

Gotta act fast. Five winners will be selected of a keg of ketchup.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And you consider yourself at the end a winner.

[Brady]

Each kegs valued at 175 for end of your life.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady]

There's a picture.

[Brett]

If you register for this, kill yourself.

[Toledo]

In lieu of $175, we have this ketchup for you.

[Brett]

Or just go to the stor. And I know I've never been, but I'm guessing ketchup's about five bucks. I'm not on the prices. Right. And you go grab yourself some ketchup because nobody needs that much ketchup if you're not running a restaurant.

[Brady]

It's about 20 inches tall. 10 pounds of ketchup.

[Brett]

How much ketchup are you going through that you think you need 10 pounds.

[Brady]

Ago you got a big super bowl party.

[Brett]

I don't think you're going through 10 pounds of catch, people.

[Toledo]

I don't think the stadium goes through that much catch.

[Brett]

That's 10 pounds of ketchup.

[Toledo]

Like I've seen that jug outside like the sun's arena or you know, the big giant.

[Brett]

Yeah. Big glue cooler of ketchup.

[Toledo]

Usually still there at the end of the game.

[Brett]

It's got the crust on the end of the thing.

[Brady]

They might. They might refill it every now and then.

[Toledo]

No, it's that ketchup leather.

[Brett]

My brain did it again. It looks like a pad in a woman's restroom. Yeah, the crust part, it's kind of brown. And you're a good ketchup. Ketchup has to pass by that crusty period ketchup.

[Toledo]

Yeah. So it adds to it.

[Brett]

I don't know if it adds.

[Brady]

This guy named Larry Shea is a golf better and apparently not a good one because last week he guaranteed on social media that Scotty Scheffler would not win the tournament in California. Last week he said, if Scotty Scheffler wins, I will only eat Wendy's chili for a month.

[Brett]

Month. Oh, boy.

[Brady]

Zero chance. Who won? Scotty Scheffler.

[Brett]

Is he following through?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

That doesn't sound so bad.

[Brady]

He said breakfast chili is surprisingly underrated.

[Brett]

You don't have to overindulge. You just get a little cup of chili.

[Brady]

Regrets not allowing crackers.

[Toledo]

You call it breakfast chili.

[Brett]

Well, that's what he called it.

[Toledo]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Brady]

He was saying you thought that was.

[Brett]

Just a brady add in.

[Toledo]

I did, yeah.

[Brett]

Breakfast chili is surprisingly delicious.

[John Holmberg]

That guy's never going to get laid again.

[Brett]

No, no. His plumbers are happy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

We had that news about Barbie and Hasbro, Ken's full name yesterday in the entertainment drill.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, they're related and they moved their.

[Brady]

Their headquarters. Well now they're being sued for making too many magic gathering cards from one collector. Sir, he's saying you just flooding the market so the value of the cards aren't as good.

[Brett]

Right.

[Toledo]

Somebody try that with tops like back in the 80s that tried to sue them said, hey, you're, you're making.

[Brett]

You're flooding.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, dude, file the.

[Brett]

They set the market, but you can flood it all you want. It's the condition. Right. You know, I don't know how many Pete Rose rookie cards there are. I have one. But I know my condition makes it less valuable because it's got a fray on the end. So it's like basically worse than list.

[Brady]

I was watching the, that Ken golden, you know, the guy that Sells all the memorabilia, sports memory. And they came across. Someone contacted them from California, four brothers. And they said their father's business. They went through some old boxes warehouse in LA and he had his baseball cards. Honest. That's what he's Wagner.

[Brett]

Yeah. You got to find all he had.

[Toledo]

The big boy.

[Brady]

Yeah. And so they called him over there just to see if they there, you know it was legit.

[Brett]

They are.

[Brady]

It was. And it's the only one. It's called the Fields collection because it's the only one that they've. That the card has been owned by this single family for 115 years. The whole time. Eight mil.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's when that long lost relative dies. And you go through the attic and you're like what did he.

[Brady]

But he had the full lineups of it. So it was. You know, it was everyone. And he had five years long because the Honus Wagner, you know was printed and put into cigarette packs. But he didn't like that. So they only made so many. And he had his yanked out of that pack. He did buy the other thing. He bought a pack. Someone had the old cigarettes. And Logan Paul went in on together. You know they do those rips or whatever.

[Brett]

Yeah. I love that.

[Brady]

And so he had the pack, the cigarettes undid. And it could be in there. Only 276 packs. Had the onus wagon.

[Brett]

Go down to Rip Valley downtown and play that game. Those guys. Yeah. And first off they're awesome people. But Rip Valley has so many of those. You go down and you start realizing that there's gambling involved in baseball cards. And it's so fun. The three of us went down there that day. It was something just dopey weird about it.

[Brady]

He lost 38k that year. He paid 38000 for the pack of cigarettes. Congratulations to tree Hub hugger in Kenya. She's an environmentalist. Trufina Mothoni, 22 years old. She earned the title for the longest marathon hugging a tree. She surpassed the previous record of 50 hours, 2 minutes and 28 seconds.

[Brett]

You can't call it a marathon because it sounds like they're actually running a marathon. She's just holding the tree for a long time.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Marathon is a very, very.

[Brady]

That's how they tied.

[Brett]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Not.

[Brady]

She did it for 72 consecutive hours.

[Brett]

Because you even said running a marathon holding a tree. It's not doing that.

[Brady]

The longest marathon hugging a tree, right? Yep.

[Brett]

But that's. Yeah, that's longest period there. Mike's off. What?

[Toledo]

Longest period?

[Brett]

Yeah, it's Just is somebody hugged a tree for the longest time. Not running a marathon holding a tree. I'd like to know what that record is. You're not going very far. You do 26.

[Brady]

The marathon was actually just the town.

[Brett]

That was the town when they did it in the marathon. Yeah. All right.

[Toledo]

John. I work for the beverage company at the Sun's Arena. I'll tell you this. We don't go through 10 pounds of ketchup in two weeks.

[Brett]

It's too much ketchup for. And five people are gonna be like, I won. And then they're gonna get a keg of ketchup. And you're like, this is terrible. I've. I've got a disaster. I'm. Where do you put. Can't go in the fridge.

[Toledo]

How long does it keep?

[Brett]

Got me ketchup.

[Toledo]

Well, don't. Can't ask you your sauces.

[Brett]

How long does it keep? How much you got?

[Brady]

I've had four or five year old ketchup.

[Brett]

Handed out as gifts. Here's a little ketchup packet I got at home there.

[Brady]

Trying to get.

[Brett]

I'm trying to unload 110 pounds of ketchup. I won. There is a lady on your side, Brady. Her name's Julie and she's awesome. She says, I grew up in a peach orchard in Oregon. We picked the peaches whenever. We also went to apple orchards and strawberries. It was fun. And the fruit was so much better than any store bought. No, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

But if you lived there, you weren't paying to do it.

[Toledo]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brett]

She said, I might be a hippie. Yeah. And you didn't pay anybody to go over to the apple orchard and start doing the migrant work. She said, brady, I want to meet your avocado friend. So you found a lunatic that'll go with you. Everybody tells themselves that if you pick it straight off the tree, it's bad. No, it's not. They picked it off a tree too. It's the same.

[Toledo]

Brady, would you go pick the tomatoes for your own ketchup in the field.

[Brett]

For your hundred pounds of ketchup.

[Brady]

For my own gravy.

[Brett]

Make your own sauce. Surprised you don't have vines in the backyard.

[Brady]

I did have the. When I first bought the house, there was a stand pop up garden area, but I took it. Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

Off to the side.

[Brett]

I remember that. Done it.

[Brady]

Think about putting in there. But green in n. You don't need that now.

[Brett]

All right, what do you got?

[Brady]

Got a couple of radio videos. First one's up the fun of joining fraternity.

[Brett]

Oh, boy. Hazing. We're going to watch some hazing come to the pikes.

[Brady]

This one. Yeah. Didn't do anything like this, but maybe they've changed some of their.

[Brett]

The guy laying on his back and a bunch of dudes over the top of him and it looks like they're vomiting on. They are paying. This is what taught you this?

[Toledo]

They paid on the floors, passed out.

[Brett]

They paid to be part of this.

[Brady]

Yeah, I think so.

[Brett]

Oh my God. Projectile vomiting onto the head. Oh, they're pounding Sprite of a sleeping man. And this is the type of stuff you pay top dollar for because you can't make friends on your own. Oh, my God. You know what's not even close? Any women right there will. They're disgusting. They're all dressed the same knobs. If you got that, would you have quit your fraternity if you found out that that was going on or would that have been just another story? If Brennaman was puking on Studley?

[Brady]

I knew what I went through was gonna go through beforehand.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Probably wouldn't have joined.

[Brett]

Yeah, because they beat you for a.

[Brady]

While because you're not. You don't. Yeah. But then when you're in it.

[Toledo]

I wasn't beaten.

[Brett]

But we were. We're abused with alcohol a lot. Yeah, but you had to do like. Yeah, eat poop out of a toilet.

[Brady]

But you didn't have to do the alcohol thing.

[Brett]

They. They laid stinky cheese in a toilet and made them eat out of it in order to be.

[Brady]

So you think you're eating. You think you eat a piece of crap.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But you're so fatigued. Some guys would do it.

[Brett]

You're that tired?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. You've been up for 72 hours.

[Brett]

Why?

[Brady]

That's part of Hell week or Inspiration Week.

[Brett]

I'll just make better friends that allow me a couple hours a nap. I need some shut eye, boys. You could be our friends if you sleep. Man. I guess we're not friends.

[Brady]

I slept a little bit on us on stairs. You got one stair. There's your bed.

[Brett]

Really?

[Brady]

Yeah. There's front step. There's 20 of us.

[Brett]

Didn't they outlaw this at Guantanamo?

[Brady]

I think. Oh yeah. They did.

[Brett]

Yeah. You can't.

[Brady]

It's no longer.

[Brett]

Yeah, they waterboarded us. It was fun.

[Toledo]

And here's the thing, John. Another thing he paid for.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. He paid. This is the beginning of it. I'll tell you how to do that.

[Toledo]

To be honest, I paid for It.

[Brett]

I know. You're both dumb.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta pay to be in a frat.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

They still hit you up now it's a club, bro. Yeah. When.

[Toledo]

It's even better when you're an alumni.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you got to kick down even when you're done.

[Brett]

Yeah, they try.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

When I joined the Rah Rah room, they put barbed wire on my balls. I'm like, what? Now I'm gonna. Why would I pay for this frat.

[Brady]

House looked good last time I went by there. Brett.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How much you gotta pay?

[Brett]

You don't kick in any.

[Toledo]

When was your last donation? It's been a couple years. 1988.

[Brett]

How long and what was it, two years ago? 12.95.

[Brady]

No, it's about like 150 bucks. There's. They're doing a new project interior. Redoing the library.

[Brett]

Sure, the library. The beer hall.

[Brady]

Very important leather bound books in that library.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

All right. The first radio video.

[Brett]

They need more bleach to clean off all this.

[Brady]

It's the second one.

[Brett]

Oh, okay. Remember we just watched.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. The second one.

[Brett]

Are you all right?

[Brady]

Is a fight at an arcade.

[Brett]

You're an absolute gem. All right, we're at a kids arcade and there's. Oh, they're wrestling some lady. Is that an employee?

[Brady]

No. Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, she's throwing blows to the back of his head. They're. They're in a. They're in a. Oh. And he just chucks her into the gift box where you take your tickets after a few skee balls. Oh, she's out like a light. She got tasered by a cop. Oh, that's awesome. An off camera cop. Cop tasers her and she drops like a deposed leader statue. Oh, that was great.

[Brady]

Zelison laser tag. I don't know.

[Brett]

So she is just throwing and this dude slams her into the little.

[Brady]

The.

[Brett]

The low level ticket redemption area. And then she gets tased, which tells me something here about this particular arcade. There's a cop ready to shoot you because they've had this problem several times. It looks festive.

[Toledo]

Well, yes. She went behind the.

[Brett]

The glass, man.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute.

[Toledo]

They're on roller skates. This is a roller skating.

[Brett]

Well, it's a roller rink too. And there are police officers.

[Brady]

That definitely is a prize center.

[Brett]

They didn't even have to call.

[Toledo]

I think Skateland has something like that, don't they?

[Brett]

You play skeeball in the corner, couple video games, you earn some tickets.

[Brady]

That's.

[Toledo]

That's bigger than sk.

[Brett]

Yeah. You go Get a stuffy and then you get t. Hit man. I'm gonna do my best, and I'm not gonna make any guarantees, but I'm pretty sure law enforcement will never tase me. Almost positive. I can avoid this forever.

[Brady]

I'll take that bet.

[Brett]

Guaranteed. Unless it's a random vigilante attack, I won't be in a situation where I get pepper balled in the nuts because I did something. It would be an accident. And I'm still not gonna be adjacent to that.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

You're going to be able to. Waymo will tell you to get away from that.

[Brett]

Right. I can get on a. On an app ways would say, you know, avoid this.

[Brady]

This last one is what you'd be seeing if you're at the international double Dutch championships.

[Brett]

Oh, China or Chinese jump rope. It's like just a giant room of Chinese people jumping. Is it even. I don't see the rope.

[Brady]

Oh, they're.

[Brett]

There it is. There's a bunch of ropes.

[Brady]

And see, it's counting on the side there.

[Brett]

It's Chinese people jumping a little bit somewhere. Another. I feel like this might be racist that we're getting enjoyment out of that many Chinese people bouncing. They're. And if you. If you miss the rope, they kill you there. That's what I've heard about China.

[Brady]

Look at the different formations.

[Brett]

Good to see they're using the Olympic village again, though, isn't it? That whole stadium is for jump ropes now.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's that nest place, isn't it?

[Brett]

The bird's nest or whatever I think that was for. Yeah, the swim cube is basically.

[Toledo]

Oh, that's what it was. Yeah.

[Brett]

Anyway. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

We're light today, so we'll get a couple in. That one's funny.

[Brett]

Go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

We'll start this off with a little car accident.

[Brett]

Oh, it's a car coming at you. We're on the. We're on the wrong side of the road. So it's a bad country. They're driving down the wrong side of the road, and it just goes all the way across traffic in a wagon and hits everybody. Oh, there goes the body. Shoots out of the. Look at how far that body. All the way up to the top of a power line. The body shoots out of this flipping wagon and hits the top of a power pole and then bursts into flames up there.

[Brady]

That is BMW suv.

[Brett]

It's a nice one. So he hits the first. The car is just completely spinning out of control. Once he launches out of that window.

[Brady]

Go.

[Brett]

It's got to be 18, 19ft and hits the power pole and blows it up. God hated him.

[Brady]

Did he survive?

[Brett]

He's okay. Third degree burns on his feet. He's fine.

[John Holmberg]

And this one, just for no reason.

[Brett]

This is a stationary bicycle that's attached to a mechanism that has a dildo on the end of it and a big fat lady is on the other end. Guy rides it, the dildo pulses states.

[Toledo]

And that's Brady's fishing net from when he went fishing.

[Brett]

You'd have caught a whale. That guy did. This is a 400 pound woman in lingerie.

[John Holmberg]

He's cruising too.

[Brett]

He's flying along. Yeah, that's pretty BMX churning. He's getting in good shape. She could use that bike more than him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's things people are inventing. Everybody's a Thomas Edison with a dildo. Will you let me feed you? Oh, boy. All right, Here's a lady.

[Brady]

Oh, boy, Mouth feeding.

[Brett]

She's got her feet and some spaghetti and she's. She's putting it on some bald guy's mouth. He's eating off her feet. That's not so bad. What's so bad about that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, eating people off people's feet.

[Brett]

I've eaten off people's feet.

[John Holmberg]

Probably got circle K feet.

[Brett]

It wasn't about a week ago I ate off somebody's feet.

[John Holmberg]

Big one.

[Brett]

That one doesn't bother me at all.

[John Holmberg]

And remember our little guy from a couple weeks ago?

[Brett]

Oh, he's back again. What is. Oh, the midget is banging a normal lady. He is so tiny. And he is having vigorous sex with a full sized lady. No. And he's maybe 2ft tall, but he's got great calves and a thick ass. Look at them. I'm envious of his legs.

[John Holmberg]

There's no payoff here. This is just.

[Brett]

Just a little man.

[Toledo]

The size of her torso.

[Brett]

Yeah, he. Yeah, he fits it. It looks like a birth gone sideways. Like the baby fought back.

[Brady]

You're saying?

[John Holmberg]

I believe.

[Brett]

Yeah. She's having sex with a baby and it's doing all the work. That dude is tiny.

[John Holmberg]

Nice cans of.

[Brett]

She's pretty. Yeah. What did her uncle or father do to her that allowed this? That she said, sure, you can film it.

[John Holmberg]

That's all we got.

[Brett]

All right. What a day, man. Oh, man. It's never been more true. Yeah. Yeah. Feeling good on a Wednesday. That's some good stuff, boys. I like it. There goes your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brady]

No membership fee.

[Brett]

I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Again. I don't know what it is about the zips thing. It's got everybody got. But I do like that I'm getting the Brett got one earlier but basically said the strip clubs are want to put on the marquees. Now hiring Zips waitresses. I think that's pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Great.

[Brett]

If that's. If that's actually happening, that's fantastic. You know, the Bush company will do it. And there's the one Dirties. And I'll do it. That's a good idea. That's excellent marketing right there. Now hiring former Zips waitresses. And put them up there, sugar 44. Get them going. The zips thing has everybody up in arms. Nobody knows what happened.

[Brady]

But it's fascinating.

[Brett]

It is fascinating. Well, because you know why it's here.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It was so close.

[Brady]

Like.

[Brett]

And again, I was right there. My buddy Brian asked me to go to lunch there. I've not been to lunch with Brian forever. Pops off. You want to go to my joking or otherwise? I couldn't go. But I was so close to being there during the raid. I think all of us kind of feel it because there's so many of them. We pass the zips every day. There's something in the. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't realize how many there were actually until they did the. The bus.

[Brett]

And then you start thinking about. It's like no matter where you go, you pass one. Yeah, they're everywhere. I got one right by my house. It's like right there and it's always full. And then I got this going. You know, the emails will do this also says they're just catching up with yesterday's podcast. And I gotta ask, where does Brett find those AI songs? I want to share them with my friends. And then it's signed, thanks, Jew. You know, it's gotten you gotten a little comfortable, gang. But again, I am like Jesus in the ways that I take the slings and arrows for real Jesus Jews. By taking all of the anti SEM Semitism and. And the. And you place it on me, a non Jew. I just have a nose that makes people think and a name. And I claim I'm Jewish a lot. It's stolen Jewish valor. Yeah. Where do you get those? I look for them all the time. I never find what you Instagram has.

[Brady]

Like two or three.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you gotta seek them. He finds them. Like, I know when they pop up.

[John Holmberg]

They just come up. They just come up on YouTube. And now it's kind of like Brady with his Instagram. It's just. It's in my algorithm. And now it's just because I' seek.

[Brett]

Out the stuff that you like. Yesterday's the. The Metallica one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I look for it and I can't find them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, then nothing else matters.

[Brett]

Yeah, Like, I looked all over for that, and I'm like, it's not coming up. And what was the name of it, the band?

[John Holmberg]

Was it Wonder Talica or something? Like, I don't remember.

[Brett]

Again, I. I lose it. And I get so excited when you play. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna put this. And then I go look for it. Like, I can't. And the next thing you know, I'm. I'm doing a whole. Nothing. Yeah, send it. Get me on this thing, man. And then I'm getting pictures. Also, in my emails this morning, as a lady, Tamara says, I went to the zoo yesterday, made sure I bought one of Brady's boss sauces. It was dusty. There is no expiration on this. Is that a new thing? Because people are worried about your sauces expiration dates because you've had a. In the past. You were giving them out as gifts, and they were a year past. You don't have to.

[Brady]

Giraffes us is still good.

[Brett]

Okay, well, it's still good, meaning it doesn't ever expire. Fire. But she got some for you.

[Brady]

The.

[Brett]

The boss.

[Brady]

Thank you.

[Brett]

Yeah, very nice, Tamara. Thank you.

[Brady]

But don't worry, I'll be there Saturday.

[Brett]

Giving out boss sauce.

[Brady]

No, I'm just going out there for my birthday.

[Brett]

Oh, it's your birthday. That's right. That's right. We got to get a game in before it's all. Your birthday is Sunday. Sunday. That's one. Yeah. The first is Sunday. Are we already done with January?

[Brady]

Ridiculous.

[Brett]

Holy smokes. We're a month out of Christmas, aren't we? That just dawned on me. Holy smokes. What's going on? We got Pledio coming. We got to get ready for that. It's going to be here before you know it. It's 8:46. We got rock wars right around the corner, and we're sorting out how to. I think I'm the one who picks this week, but I don't remember. I think so. I don't know. We'll figure it out. Rock wars coming up next. It's something something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. All right. Every again, because I can't escape it. I've just got sent the. The video of the people at Zips getting hosed off by that truck, and that guy's probably gonna get fired. I just watched the video. The protesters who. Again, I'm like, they're standing outside the Zips. I'm not sure they even know why they're there, but then Homeland Security comes by, and I can't help it. The lady asked earlier if I have feelings. I do, and this is wrong because I haven't seen this yet, but I just watched it.

[Brady]

I haven't seen it.

[Brett]

Well, it's a home. I'll send it to Brett. It's a Homeland Security Security video or a truck that. That goes by, and then dude just reaches out the passenger window and hoses a woman in the face with pepper spray. I know. I. Me too. And it's terrible. I don't want to laugh at it. It is terrible. But, yeah, I did it to McCool. It's like. It's like NFL's hard hits. It looks awful. If it's illegal, you should get flagged, and the guy's probably gonna lose his job. You can't just drive by. He got moss and hose people. It doesn't mean.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's on tmz.

[Brett]

Yeah. It doesn't mean all. All of the officers are terrible, but it certainly doesn't send a good message to just drive by. I didn't see that when the guy emailed me this morning and said, they're just shooting chemicals of people. And I haven't seen that. Now I have. I don't know the context. And I always try to keep a cooler head with all this and not react because what we're famous for as humans is overreacting. Instead of. I will react when I know and it sounds dumb because everybody just wants reaction. I immediately. I'm not looking for anything other than just First a. First blush, this dude's gonna lose his job. Second blush, I'm kind of laughing at it because it's just terrible to do to somebody, and it's. It seems so wildly unnecessary. And then I'm also thinking to myself, this is why I don't go do this stuff. You never know when a loose. Like, these dudes have had it. Like, they're on. They're on the fridge binge, and he had some shrill lady screaming the whole time. She didn't deserve it. But my God, is it similar?

[Brady]

Like, you know, like a Protesting. Like when you ask joining fraternity if you know there's a good chance you're gonna get pepper sprayed.

[Brett]

No, I'm not doing it. You know, I will write letters. I will get. I'll Ted Kaczynski this stuff and just write weird letters from a cabin and just avoid the pepper spray.

[Brady]

This looks.

[Brett]

Yeah, it looks, Ted.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible.

[Brett]

Uh, but I think this guy, I mean, he's gonna get fired and deserves to be good probably. If this video is all that needs to be seen. I don't know what led up to this. I don't know how if she was warned or if this is like the fifth pass and she's been trying to hit their car. So I don't know what happened. But it does, on first glance, look as if a car just drives by and hoses a woman off. And I can't imagine that the HSI officer would do that and lose his job. But boy, if he did, he's going to. And it's terrible and. But it is. I mean, Brett is going to laugh and it's going to make me laugh, and I hate that, that just screaming at him, first one goes by and second one just goes, that's enough of you, boosh. And he just. All right, see, I knew Brett would find it hysterical.

[Brady]

It is hysterical.

[Brett]

I don't find it as funny, except for the fact that you do, but I don't know what led up to it. And there's a lady carrying her dog around. Don't bring your goddamn dogs to the protest. That's my rule. I'll march against that. The dog doesn need that. What happens if there is pepper spray out? Jesus. She just got hosed off. And then they just keep going. Now here's the thing that I need context with. These guys are leaving, right? So something happened before all this video.

[Brady]

Stuff at the truck.

[Brett]

I don't know, but evidently on their way to the truck. Maybe, I don't know. I need more because I, I personally can't imagine a dude just goes, watch this from the car and risks everybody's life, life or jobs. Right? But this lady does get a full on hosing. Which. Which one was this? That looks like the one on 32nd street and Shay. Anyway, it looks terrible. And if that's all that, you know, if there's no extra to that story that he's going to get fired and so is the dude driving. Unless he, you know, arrested him on the spot. But I don't know. That dude's got a powerful host too. I need to rephrase that I was.

[John Holmberg]

Just gonna say Rico Blaze.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. That is a. Anyway, I don't know the story.

[Brady]

It might not even be a government truck.

[Brett]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. It just looks like a dude who's test driving a car. I went to Dodge dealership and I got tired of getting yelled at. People get mad at me for that and I feel like I need to, like, because I wait to have a response, you know, I didn't wait to have the response when I saw that lady carrying her Labrador. I. Why'd you take your dog to a protest? That dog doesn't know. And you don't need it getting pepper sprayed in case everything goes pear shaped. What are you doing?

[Brady]

I have my baby with me.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

They don't even know what they're out there protesting.

[Brett]

No. And even if that's the problem, people get upset with me. Like, you didn't react my way. And I'm like, I haven't reacted at all because I don't know what happened. I just saw one thing. Thing. Can we all do that?

[Brady]

Which is interesting because if they're, you know, they're protecting zips in a way on the protest, like, stop.

[Brett]

I don't know what they're doing. I don't know what the story is. I don't know how to be mad yet. I can be reactionary mad and say, this is exactly what I think happened and that. But I don't know that that's right. And we all go banana. Like, my emails all morning have kind of been frustrating because it's like, you see this, you just like, yeah, I don't know how to react to it. I didn't see the whole thing, but I know that a 12 second clip doesn't tell me the whole story. If it does, that dude's getting fired. Like, if it was bad before and then ended with this, like, that guy is not capable of doing the job. And that's, that's where I want to land. I want to land in smart. I don't want to land in reactionary. Everybody's yelling, it looks terrible. Optics are bad.

[Brady]

Well, you can't identify the guy.

[Brett]

Oh, they absolutely know who it is. They know the truck. They know everything. He was in a. He was in a lit truck. The front of the thing has red and blues on it. They know exactly who did that. I mean, that's, there's a reason why they were yelling at that truck. And I just had. Had it or, or something else was going on. I just, I, I think I'm Just.

[John Holmberg]

Becoming numb to it.

[Brett]

Me too.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm cooler all over the Internet. It's all over where I'm like, to the point now. Now I'm like, don't care.

[Brett]

You know what? I'm Jay Cutler. I'm with you. I'm kind of in this thing where it's like, you can't win a discussion. You can't talk to somebody with reason. I feel like, with reason to say, let's just calm down. We can't calm down. They're taking up, like, okay, we can calm down and find out exactly what happened. I might be on that side. I might join you and say, this is out of control. But so far, what I've seen is a lot of wrong on everybody's end. Clashing and escalating crap into more crap. Yeah.

[Brady]

I just don't.

[Brett]

You should see my emails. Like, if I read them all and people are angry and they're just. They're just. They just want a voice. They want to yell, and that's the Internet's fault. Everybody thinks they have to get it out instead of just internalizing it and going, here's how I feel, and that's all that matters. I don't. I wouldn't have the confidence. My sign was done. Where do you get all this poster board? I used to struggle with that in eighth grade. We have, like, a thing. Like, I go by poster board, and it would take me a day to get all the. These people make signs. Like, they should start sign companies. Companies.

[Brady]

Maybe there are some.

[Brett]

There are. Well, there are definitely are, because there's some beautifully printed ones. But, I mean, I'm not. I'm not that energized to jump off the couch over kind of knowing something. I have to be, like, steadfast, knowing what I know before I'm like, okay, this is my rock solid thought on it. Maybe it does make me a. I don't know. But I'd rather just kind of wait, let the dust settle, figure it out. And then. And then, you know, how. How crazy were we during COVID I guess that taught me my lesson that everybody jumped on this, that. And I got to do that, and you're angry. And now that we found out five years later. Yeah, some of you were wrong. A lot of us were wrong. I was wrong about a ton of stuff we didn't know, but we were. We dug our heels in on wrong just because we didn't like what the other side was, and we were wrong. I don't want to do that again. Again. I guess it's called learning from experience, but doesn't seem like many people did. I would very much like that to.

[Brady]

Be in the history of man. It's always like that. We. We repeat.

[Brett]

We overreact all the time. Yeah, yeah. It's that line from Men in Black that Tommy Lee Jones has. It's like, I trust. I trust a person. I don't trust people. People are mobs. They make bad decisions. And you get a group of people fired up about something. Look at a sporting event, even when we're happy, it can erupt into nonsense if somebody contradicts it. And that's just passion. I don't know, but I get it, everybody. You just got to internalize it and assess it. I don't want to go down the road of crazy. Maybe I am nuts, but I kind of feel like I'm doing it the right way, and I want everybody to be like me. Just do it like I do it. Make a lot. Make my life easier, Please, would you? You know who I feel sorry for? Ray J. You seen what's going on with him? Ray J.

[Brady]

Are the Kardashians getting well?

[Brett]

No, no. The man who made the Kardashian empire. I mean, literally, the dick that created the Kardashians. Not in that way, but you know what I mean? Like, it launched a thousand Kardashians. He basically is going to die in 2027 and says he knows his heart is. Is. He did, like, a scan of his heart, and it's dark black, and they're like, it's working at, like, 20%. You don't have any time left. And so he's just basically saying, I got maybe a year left, and here's his. Here's his life. Like, you think it all matters. It doesn't. All you're screaming and yelling. Doesn't matter. Because he's got to go to Haiti now to try to. That's the only place they think that maybe could fix it is voodoo. That's what a doctor.

[Brady]

He's tried everything.

[Brett]

You are done when the doctors are like, man, have you tried voodoo? Like, no. Well, here's a ticket to Haiti. Good luck. So Ray J's going to Haiti, and then. And I don't know if the Kardashians are. She should give him $100 million and say, I hope you get better, because that whole family's rich because of that, right? Oh, for sure. Like, let's make sure you're all right. I don't think that the Kardashians are Anywhere near as famous as they would be without that Ray J moment, you know, it would have taken him a lot longer.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And we got good stuff out.

[Brady]

Put it on the speed track.

[John Holmberg]

A lot better than the Paris Hilton stuff we got.

[Brett]

Oh, and look what happened to her career.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

We saw her sex tape. And like, I can do that. I can just lay there. Nathan Sutherland was like, this doesn't do enough. The Gilbert husband, Sleepy time Daddy Cosby Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

And he brought at the bar. You can just pick up for that.

[Brett]

I'm pretty sure Paris has a lawsuit that she was drugged and incapacitated because that video looks like she's not a.

[John Holmberg]

I'll buy that one. I'll buy it.

[Brett]

That is the laziest sex I've ever watched. And her career tumbled after that. On the flip side, Kim was pushing back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

And that made her and her whole family famous. Ray J gonna die in Haiti with voodoo. And she's not stepping up and helping out a little.

[Brady]

Little bit.

[Brett]

She owes that man. Going back to this, as I was at the Zips on Camelback and Miller during the raid, I was called a fascist from protesters because I commented, now where am I going to get chicken wings? And they yelled at me. They were there already. The protesters were there during the raid. Well, they did get tipped off for the later raid ones that it's going.

[Brady]

To go down on.

[Brett]

All that was one of the first ones. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brett]

None of this seems real. Tommy says, I have no social media. This show is where I get most of my worldly updates. Oh, Tommy says, I'll tell you what, Life is beautiful when you're only worried about yourself. If I was at Zips witnessing crap go down, just order another beer until I got kicked out.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

Life is beautiful when you take care of your own garden.

[John Holmberg]

Excuse me, special agent, Can I get another ipa, please?

[Brett]

Can I get. I had one on order. These are great. The keg's gonna go bad. If you guys.

[Brady]

It's Smith, right?

[Brett]

Yeah. And deep down, there's some hilarity in the idea that they had to announce when Zips is going to open up again. It'll be open again probably Friday. It's like. All right, good. That's better. So it wasn't open yesterday, as far as I know. No, it's been taped off in there. Yeah. Now I want to go to Zips. Like, this is great advertising, but that dude's in trouble. The owner. So I don't know if it is going to open. Yeah, call me Names. Do whatever you want. I don't know. I just feel like I'm trying to. To keep my cool so I don't lose focus on what exactly is I'm mad at. Not that mad. I think it's bad. But I like. I want to help the right thing and I don't want to get mad at the wrong thing. I've done that before. It's a waste time.

[Brady]

How about this? If once the dust settles on this.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You find out it was wrong. They. They didn't do anything wrong. Wrong.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they got to reopen.

[Brett]

Yes.

[Brady]

Throw grand.

[Brett]

We will help zips if it turns out that. That all this was just some ice raid gone crazy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

First off, we'll have the KUPD pepper spray wings. That's coming for sure.

[Brady]

Some ghost pepper.

[Brett]

And that lady that got hosed off by that car if it all turned out to be bad. Lifetime supply of wings sponsor. But the government gives her a Wings are free forever. Work hard. That guy's losing his job and everything. I just want to. I just. I don't know. It just seems like everybody's nuts. I don't want to be nuts. I got enough going on. I don't. I don't want to be nuts too. But thank you for all your emails this morning telling me how I should react. I appreciate that.

[John Holmberg]

Ghetto birds flying around here.

[Brett]

There are zips nearby. Oh boy. There's a doing the circles. Oh, boy. He's right over the top of us. Is this for me? And to that lady that got hosed in the face with the pepper spray. I feel terrible. I'm sorry I laughed at that, but it is hilarious. I do. I feel bad for you. I hope. I hope you're okay, but. Jesus Christ.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, hope she's okay, but it's still funny.

[Brett]

I can't help it. And I hang out with jackasses like. And he can't not laugh at terrible stuff. And it makes me laugh harder. Yeah. I mean, it's. I dark. But anyway. Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Thank you for sending me the video. And it is educational, but I want to. I'm just. Don't look to me to go. You got to do this. I don't want to incite anything or go crazy. I just want to be cool.

[John Holmberg]

Cool.

[Brett]

Like a couple little Fonzies. We got Rock wars coming up. I'll have a topic for you next. That's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Up's Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Well, I have a very interesting rock wars topic today. It's going to take some thinking, a little work on your parts.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Come on.

[Brett]

I know, but that's what it is. When you're left with, you know, the. The. You're charged with picking the topic. Brady was the winner last week. I came in third. So I get to pick this week, as per Brady's crybaby rules.

[Brady]

I've already got my song.

[John Holmberg]

You don't even know what the topic is.

[Brett]

Fantastic. This is a good one. I like this. And I'm not gonna go off the protests and all that stuff. This is a good one. I have been known over the years to. To tell you, hey, this. There's a guy who goes on the Internet and goes, you'll never hear this the same again. And he takes a great song. Song and then says, but if I. If I say the word, like SpongeBob SquarePants, you'll never hear it the same way again. The same way I kind of did with Volbeat being Cher.

[Brady]

Offspring.

[Brett]

Offspring being Weird Al Yankovic. A great song.

[Brady]

Dracula. Disturbed.

[Brett]

Yeah, Disturbed. Well, the. The Disturbed with the hello, Darkness, My old friend Vampirical. A song that's fantastic. That's ruined for you. You. Because it's got this sound that you're like. You can't escape the alternative. You know what I mean? Like, you can wreck it for other people. Like the Volpe. We'll eliminate Volbeat and Offspring. And the obvious one.

[John Holmberg]

Typo. Negative, too.

[Brett]

And typo.

[Brady]

Right.

[Brett]

But that's just funny. That actually made the songs better to me. But. No, I know, but like, everybody's got one that goes, oh, my God, have you heard this? And then tell me what I. Now wreck the song for me. From your perspective, everybody's got a couple where you just. You can look it up, too. And like, you're like, oh, yeah, that one. But you hear like, oh, my God, that's what that is. I'll give you one that nobody's going to pick. The Mrs. Jones. Remember me and Mrs. Jones.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If you ever watched that dude sing it, he had a miserable lisp. And sometimes when you hear it, you'll hear Mrs. Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones. And he's. Now he's the ladies man. And it makes it hysterical. It's terrible. Terrible. The. What was the. A Heartbeat song in the 80s by Don Johnson? No. Heartbreakers or something I forgot. Not the Heartbreakers. They had a song. Something about the. But the singer had a lisp and that's all I hear.

[Brady]

Well, the romantic.

[Brett]

The romantics. That's the one. That's the one.

[Brady]

I hear you talking.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Talking in your sleep. I hear what I like about.

[Brett]

No, no, no. Twinkstone. All lisp. But that's kind of thing. Those kind of deals where a song is like, oh, boy. And there's some out there that you can say this. You'll never hear it the same way again. So we'll get those out there if you have any suggestions. Everybody's got a couple. [e-mail] you get one. That's why you're. Hey, that's why you got to play the game, son.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't have one. That's what I got.

[Brett]

Thinking. Do some thinking. B.bogan98kupd.com because he has to have that too. And then 97936, you can text over suggestions. A song that is good, but something about it you can tell everybody and it'll wreck it. You got one.

[Brady]

Good.

[Brett]

There you go.

[Brady]

No, you said it was good.

[Brett]

It's a good song. Yeah, you don't want to take a terrible song. It's easy. Terrible song.

[Brady]

I was going with Brett with. With Prince Brett, Bret, Bre.

[Brett]

No, no, that's just it. Brett, he can't even. You should. You should redo it. No, that's just a bad song. That's easy. I'm not saying a bad song. It's something that changes it. Change the song. Like now you'll hear it and it sounds like Rosanna singing of those. Everybody knows what I'm talking about. It's. It's rampant on the Internet. There's people who do this. I'm going to ruin this for you. You give it to us and we'll. We'll see if your suggestions go or what. We've got next. Rock wars right around the corner. It's something, something. Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. It's time now for Rock wars, the weekly battle of musical supremacy. See, it's a meta topic. It's a heavy topic. It's fun, though. Basically you take a song, not the lyrics that you got wrong. People misunderstood what I was saying. It's basically like when I say picture Share when Vol beats on, or picture Weird Al Yankovic when Offspring is playing and it kind of messes up. Like I hear it and then you don't ever unhear it. But do it to another one. Find there's tons of. Spongebob makes an appearance in a lot of rock songs and it messes stuff. There's a Stone Temple pilot song. He's in Lincoln park. So I don't know if you guys chose those, but that's what we got. So that's what I'm talking about. And the suggestions were pretty fantastic today. Nice job. You got it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go with something.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's fine, you guys. I got something. It's brought to you by Mo Money Pawn. Shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to over $100,000. No credit needed, and top dollar paid with the entire process just taking several minutes. Mo money pawn.com, 12th street and Indian School. Brady, you seem to have something in order. Let's go with you first.

[Brady]

I did. I got an assist. I want to thank JG for this because.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

I had never heard. I mean, I. I'm very familiar with the song, but when he presented it that way. Yeah, it ruined it for me.

[Brett]

Close your eyes. Close your eyes.

[Brady]

Thunderstruck acdc. And picture Alvin and the Chipmunks.

[Brett]

All right. And you don't have to alter the beginning. I'm gonna close my eyes. I'm gonna see if Brady can ruin this classic song. John Gordon gave him a little help on this. See the A in the sweater? Here it comes. Play the whole goddamn intro.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't you give him a time?

[Brett]

Yeah, well, he just didn't.

[Brady]

Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo. Toledo.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

We'Ll get to it eventually. Everybody remembers. It's a nice build up, though. It works. God damn it. It's Alpha. I hate you. I hate you guys for that one. I'm never knocking.

[John Holmberg]

That's a win.

[Brett]

That little swimming.

[John Holmberg]

Unless you got something.

[Brett]

I gotta go really good. I gotta go to it. It might not be as obvious as that. Well, it is. And you're gonna laugh at mine. What do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, we're gonna go with this.

[Brett]

Guy brought it up.

[John Holmberg]

And now I can't unhear it.

[Brett]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's not one of his most popular songs, but in a lot of his songs, you'll hear it. Danzig. Sounds like Donkey from Shrek. It's on mine.

[Brett]

Oh, I'm sorry. Go. That's good. Come on, Shrek. Get out of here.

[Brady]

All right.

[Brett]

It does. God damn it. I don't even know this song. Thank God. I'll never hear that again. His mother have Shrek?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brett]

I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't really dig that deep, but as soon as I pulled that one.

[Brett]

Up, I was all like, the one with the funeral pie. Hello, Shrek. What's going on? Gonna sing a little song right now. I'm a big Dantic fan. I love that dancing. He seems crazy. I love it. This was going to mother. Oh, man. What are we doing? Why did I pick this? Mother right there. You're trying to pick it. Tell your children not to walk my way.

[John Holmberg]

Not as much in this one.

[Brett]

No, not as bad. All right, all right. Mine's going to make you giggle. If you're a Buffalo Bills fan, I'm going to wreck something big for you. They play a song in Buffalo that's become like an anthem. Play this for their team. Yeah. And every time I've heard this song, I only. Close your eyes. Go down this road with me. It's Jerry Seinfeld.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know why.

[Brett]

That's all I hear. I can hear some of this.

[Brady]

When.

[Brett]

They get to the chorus. The bright side. This part. I can hear that. All I hear. Well, this is the. The wrong song. This frick.

[John Holmberg]

I have to play this at every wedding. Every weekend, too.

[Brett]

That's all I see. All I hear. Seinfeld.

[John Holmberg]

And then. Then the. The honorable mentions are. Welcome to the Jungle's Edith Bunker.

[Brett]

Oh, Jesus. ACDC always has had a margin. Simpson thing. Yeah. Crazy.

[Toledo]

Anyway, texters are saying, I don't understand. It's not misheard lyrics.

[Brett]

No, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

Misconduct.

[Brett]

Never, ever even mentioned lyrics. I just said this like you have a thing. Like, you know. Again, I'm ready to concede Brady's because that was the most. Alvin. Yeah, I think that's a pretty solid one. I'm short on time. Whoops. Sorry. We'll go to one call. That's it.

[Toledo]

Like this guy says, the Foo Fighters pretender. Reminds me of the Sesame street song. One of these things is not like the other.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's whatever singing that would remind you. All right, let's see if anybody's got the vote here. Let me go. Hi, there. Who's this? Tim. Timothy. Who wins the Chancellor? I. I wanted. Who's last? Who's last? Yeah, who's in last? Timothy, are you there? Yes, sir. Who came in last? Oh, Bogan, by a mile. Oh, man. Yeah, that's some bias. I'm going to go with another one. I think that guy was just.

[John Holmberg]

John Gordon's calling over.

[Brett]

Yeah. Seem tainted. Hi, there. Who's. This Is Ashley. Are you there? It's Paul. All right. Paul's on his wife. Ashley's made the transition. Blind caller Paul. All right, it's. It's Brady. Come on. It hit hard, didn't it? Yeah, his hit hard. I agree with that. I want Brady to win this week because that hit hard. Who came in last? Nobody hung up. We'll do it. We'll figure it out between you and I. There you go. All right. Yeah, it's John Gordon's fault. You son of a. Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

Look at how nice he was to your brain. MF'd him at the beginning of this.

[Brett]

Gotcha, Dan.

[John Holmberg]

He got you a win win.

[Brett]

This one says the song, the outfield. You'd never know. It's a perfect. What does that say?

[Brady]

Yeah, I got one on the outfield, too, Ed.

[Brett]

From Eddie. I don't know what that is.

[Brady]

I don't know from Eddie is either. Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah, that is a John Gordon win, though, so we'll do it. But yeah, it does say it. Kind of chuckled it.

[Brady]

Your boss gags.

[Brett]

Boss gags is Cleveland from Family Guy. There's plenty of them. When your brain hears the other thing, all I hear is Seinfeld. Now, from that Mr. Bright side thing, I'm gonna hear donkey when I. I'm gonna listen for it.

[Brady]

White room.

[Brett]

Oh, white room. Cream. That guy said that the. The high parts are Herbert from the Family Guy thing. Stewie. Clint Eastwood by the Gorillas. If you hear here, there's tons of them. But I think this one hits us hardest because we know it so well. It's Alvin and the chipmunks. AC it's thunderstruck. It's something something. Check out H's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Now they get it and they're rolling in. I got a tip of the Captor, guy named J.T. jasinski, who does. He wrecks songs on the Internet. Inspiration for today's rock. Because I've. I've agreed with so many of them, I've actually sent that guy a note. What about this? And he's already done it. But the Seinfeld thing had me. Brady, Alvin and the Chipmunks. Brilliant. And I don't even want to hear. I'm glad I don't know that Danzig song. Here's another one. This. This will screw you up. Which one was it? It was Roses.

[Brady]

The first one.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. It's Guns N Roses. So you got this guy. And I'm gonna have you close your eyes. Eyes. Right after this part. Squidward from SpongeBob SquarePants. And then the great One which I should have picked and didn't. And again, it comes from my favorite cartoon of all time.

[Brady]

Time.

[Brett]

It's Faith no more. SpongeBob himself. That is unbelievable. Yeah, you can't hear it the same ever again. You.

[Brady]

And you played that one other one. It was a real quick sample. It was Peewee Herman.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that was. Well, that's hello Me.

[Brady]

Yeah, that was Dave Mustaine. That's right.

[Brett]

When he gets. It's angry Peewee. I hear a lot of that. But anyway, that's. It's a fun game to play and it ruins things.

[Toledo]

I'm not familiar with this cartoon. Rocco's Modern Life. Big guy says, sorry, Brett, but Mike from Suicidal sounds like Heifer from Rocco's Modern Life.

[Brett]

I don't know that one. I don't know it well enough to know. Listen, a little Faith no More later today. And if you don't picture spongebob, your brain ain't working because. Play that again. I like that. The one you just did with this. The Faith no More. I mean, it's right down.

[Brady]

Wait for Gary to come in.

[Brett]

Hello, Gary. But you can grab it. Yeah, it's the same. So have fun with that. I didn't know I was a gay lead singer.

[Toledo]

John. I've ruined Luke Bryant for many of people that are fans of his by saying he sounds like John C. Rose Riley to me.

[Brett]

Please play some Luke Bryan, like his biggest hit, because I don't know what that is. I don't like country music at all, but this might make me giggle.

[John Holmberg]

I think country girl shake it for.

[Brett]

Touch my drum set.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think that's the country girl song.

[Brett]

Sounds like me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't know if I. Look, you would know if I was singing, right? Don't touch my drum set. I'm Luke Bryant. Here we go.

[Brady]

They're best friends.

[Brett]

Yeah, we just become best friends. I don't know if this will work. Country girl shake it for me. No, I can't listen to it. I can't hear it. It doesn't matter that once that hillbilly twang kicks in, I'm out. That might as well just be somebody sucking the life out of me. It is time now for the entertainment. A fun game you can play at home and it wrecks a lot of stuff and it makes it funnier. So there's a lot of Will Ferrells out there, too. Like a lot of that system of a downside song is loads of Will Ferrell in it. Once you close your eyes and picture it, you can't undo it. And I'll never stop hearing Weird Al, the lead singer of the Offspring. It screws me up to see them for real.

[Brady]

Now.

[Brett]

I'm like, who's that guy? It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. The entertainment drill is brought to you by our friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Dr. J. Schwartz is waiting for you. Tripp's going over there. He had something going on with his eyes. Dr. J. Schwartz took care of him. Tripp's gonna have his eyes fixed up, and we were talking about that. I gave him kind of a run through of what the procedure's like when you do the lens thing. And all he kept doing was like, I was doing it to him. I'll tell you right now, I had it done. Nothing. It doesn't hurt, and it doesn't take long at all. And the next thing you know, you're seeing perfectly. Get rid of those crutches. If you broke your leg and the doctor said, well, you can just walk around on these sticks for the rest of your life. It's the equivalent of somebody saying, hey, my eyes don't work. Well, stuff these glasses on your nose and just live with it. You don't have to anymore. Dr. J. Schwartz will get a plan together for you. So go to the Schwartz Laser Eye Center Team I idoc.com for your complimentary consultation and find out how you can start seeing 2020 right away. Get it done. The Team IDOC of the Suns and the Diamondbacks, they trust them, so you should, too. It's the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Well, it looks like the. Looks like Greenland's gonna be part of the USA sooner than we thought.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

They're getting a gift. And this gift is meant to ease some of the unwarranted strikes, stress, and threats you're experiencing from U.S. president Trump. Neil Young is giving everyone in Greenland free access to his full music catalog.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. Greenland. We're so sorry. This is the worst thing that could happen.

[Brady]

They will be asking for our help.

[Brett]

It's a Trojan horse Neil Young. Song's at the ready screaming at you I start to calm you down K's a cinnamon girl Every state of just attacked why did they put us through this misery? That's the Dutch. But they're close. They are.

[John Holmberg]

He almost sounds like Michael Kane.

[Brett]

No, that The Dutch guy.

[John Holmberg]

No, the. The Neil Young. There.

[Brett]

What? She's a Santa, man. Just the Dutch guy. Small. No, that's a Dutchman.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Because they own them and I don't know how they sound up. And nobody knows what Greenland is.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Michael Caine is a Dutchman. If you just add a little bit more X.

[Brady]

The teaser is out for the Faces of Death remake. Came out yesterday. It will hit the theaters in April. Stars Daiquiri Montgomery from Stranger Things, Barbie Ferreira from euphoria and Charlie XCX.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

If you remember that 80s gem, Faces of Death.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Weren't there a couple of them?

[Brett]

There were. There were several. We couldn't tell if they were real or not, but we watch it every day on the Internet now.

[John Holmberg]

Why do you need to do it? What's the point of it?

[Brett]

Well, the monkey scene is people believe. I think that's a real one.

[Toledo]

I think.

[Brett]

No, I don't know.

[Toledo]

That monkey one is real.

[Brett]

It looks like they eat the monkey brains right on the bottom of the table.

[Brady]

We've got a reservation for six, remember?

[Brett]

What? Yeah, and that's the thing that we're like, why did they allow them to film the whole night? It. It seems. It doesn't. I remember it was hard to get a copy of that in high school and stuff. And Chris. Well, got it. I got Faces of Death. Like eight of us went over his house and all of us. I was like crying.

[Toledo]

Box video was always out of it.

[Brett]

I was like, 17, and I'm crying because that monkey scene disturbed me. I was upset.

[Brady]

Monday was the 40th anniversary of Super Bowl 20.

[Brett]

That's right, Bears.

[Brady]

And up for auction right now at Golden Co. Is Ditka's original sweater vest from. He wore.

[Brett]

From the game.

[Brady]

From the game.

[Brett]

Authentic?

[Brady]

Are we sure it's authentic? It. The vest comes with a signed letter from Ditka himself confirming that this was a game. Warm, worn vest from January 26, 1986. Right now, the current bids $82,000.

[Toledo]

Little rich Brett.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I was like, I'm in.

[Brady]

The auction house says this wasn't Nike or Reebok or. Or some. Someone telling a coach what to wear. This was his uniform.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He was going to wear it every time.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Didn't know this fun fact about Happy Days. Anson Williams. Potsy. Who played Potsy. Yeah, His. He was second cousins to the guy that invented the Heimlich maneuver.

[Brett]

Is that a thing?

[Brady]

Dr. Henry Heimlich?

[Brett]

No, I know that's a thing, but I'm like, does it matter that second.

[Brady]

Well, after Heimlich was invented in 1974.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Williams used the Hollywood connections to get Dr. Heimlich onto the Merv Griffin show where he demonstrated for millions of people.

[Brett]

If it weren't for Potsy, it would have taken longer for people to learn it.

[Brady]

And that's what Potts he says. He said the the creators and the cast of Happy Days have helped save more lives than any other program in history.

[John Holmberg]

Just thinks first time we've had Potsy news. Yeah.

[Brett]

Positive news. If you'd have placed a bet, I'd have said next time we have Potsy news it'll be the passing of Anson Williams. But no way off.

[Brady]

Potsy did Invent something in 2018 called alert drops for drowsy drivers. But it doesn't seem to be for sale any anymore.

[Brett]

Oh, wait a minute. What's that? The keep you alert.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh do they still have that thing in cars when you look down the car all like flip out?

[Brady]

They do on. Well it's it's some on the Ford and Lincoln they got a thing called Blues Cruise.

[Toledo]

Well if you turn it on lane departure.

[Brett]

Oh I have that on mine.

[Brady]

It'll let you know if your eyes are looking down it'll automatically steer from for you. But if you're not looking straight ahead.

[Brett]

And it's called Blues Cruise.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Really?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Are you just making that up?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Okay. Why is it called Blues Cruise?

[Brady]

It's what they call it H. Or.

[Brett]

Is it what you call it? No, I'm going to look that up. I don't think you're wrong but it doesn't seem right either. And your face is telling me you're kind of making it up.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't get the ceiling tiles in so.

[Brett]

No, but he did that dumb guy kind of thousand yard guys gays like. Is that because it doesn't make any sense if you're looking down why they would call it Blues Cruise but maybe. But it seems like a name that doesn't match.

[Toledo]

Google says it's just heads up display.

[Brett]

Yeah. I think you call it Blues Cruise.

[Toledo]

Heads up eyes out.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. No I if I set the cruise control on it has a technology basically is it will steer keep the car in the lane.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Do turns. Yeah but you the minute if you look away for 10 or 15 seconds.

[Brett]

Believe that Just don't think it's called Blues Cruise. I think you've come up with that. You've convinced.

[Brady]

No, I haven't.

[Brett]

Where did you hear that?

[Brady]

At the Lincoln dealership.

[Brett]

I'm kidding. I think he's crazy. Again.

[Brady]

Maybe they sent me away with that.

[Brett]

Did you?

[Toledo]

Brutal Blues know who you are.

[Brett]

And they bet you he'll start calling. A good thing Brady's not the second cousin to Heimlicho. We'd have never figured it out. We'd just be ramming each other in the ass trying not to choke.

[Brady]

Brett. I'm sorry. You're gonna have to pay a premium. But the BTS comeback tour is completely sold out in North America.

[Brett]

Damn it.

[Brady]

And Europe.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know they were gone.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Even have a comeback Tour.

[Brady]

There's only 12 cities in North America.

[Brett]

Yeah. They went to the military. Oh, really? Yeah, I got forced into the military for a couple years, so then they had to come back. And I still struggled thinking that there is a lot of American girls that are into Korean boys. I've never seen it in my life. It just throws me off. I've never gone to a. When I was a kid, I never went into anybody's. Like a girl's bedroom and seen a poster of Pat Morita. I just didn't ever think that the young American girls were into this. The Asians. But things have changed.

[John Holmberg]

To me, it's like the Chris Valenzuelas. They all look alike.

[Brett]

Okay. That's right. The Chris Valenzuelas all looked wildly different.

[Brady]

Oh, did they? Yes. Both teams for the Super Bowl Seahawks and. And the Patriots are avoiding the 49ers training facility because there's an ongoing investigation on that substation that's near there. That's throwing off. Yeah.

[Brett]

They've been blaming that thing next to the facility for the 49ers on why they have so many tendon tears in on the team. They've got some weird thing next to where they practice. Yeah. Strange. Okay. You found Blues Cruise. Blues Cruise is hand free Blues.

[Brady]

No.

[Toledo]

S just Blue Cruise.

[Brett]

Blue Cruise is hands free highway way driving.

[John Holmberg]

She's on her way to a BTS concert. Look at that.

[Brett]

You got an Asian lady. Asian lady driving. Which they're basically using her to say, look, don't be afraid. The car's got it. Their. Their model is an Asian woman. Like don't worry. The car's driving 2020.

[Brady]

Sorry, I threw an extra vehicles.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, but it isn't about dropping your head.

[Toledo]

No, it is.

[Brett]

Oh, it has that feature too. If you don't. If you're not looking for monitors your head position.

[Brady]

I have it on my. My car.

[Brett]

No, no. But I didn't have like why they call it. It's Bluetooth something.

[John Holmberg]

Blue Cruise.

[Brett]

No, I Know that's what I'm saying. Why the blue? I don't understand. Ford. Oh, it's Ford. Okay, now we're seeing it.

[Toledo]

Oh, is that why.

[Brett]

That's all I'm asking.

[Toledo]

I had no idea.

[Brett]

Blues Cruise. I just expected that dog to help me solve crimes. There. An Asian version of Blues.

[Toledo]

That's not a good feature.

[Brett]

To show they're just sucking on coffee and not staring. Well, if you're gonna watch out the window, grab the wheel, I guess. So how lazy are you? These hands of mine need to be on my lap. I wish this car did it itself. But if it makes you stare out the window, just drive.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm trying to get that. I'm seeing if I can cut that part out of it. You know, detach it just like a. You can turn your screen into a tv.

[Brett]

Don't do that.

[Brady]

I'm just kidding. I did it.

[Brett]

There's a guy named James who I want to. I. I will answer your email later. He thinks that I'm. He says somebody is controlling you. He thinks I'm being controlled. I said I love these. Someone is pulling your strings, John. This is not advertising. This is not about a radio station. This is about integrity as a US citizen. Saying that I witnessed a murder in Minnesota and I won't condemn it. I condemn it. I don't know what happened, but neither do you.

[Brady]

Right?

[Brett]

You think you know what happened. I want to know what happened before I start losing my mind. I think it was terrible. I'll start there. But I'm not going off the clips and what I heard, because I can. Look, you can tell me what you know, and I can turn the channel and somebody will tell me the exact opposite.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

And just because you believe one side doesn't mean the other is wrong and vice versa. So I choose to be the giant panda I've become.

[Toledo]

Enjoy your chicks.

[Brett]

Which is be aware, but don't care because I'm not gonna change. I hate it. Nothing to do. It's 10:14. Larry's coming up next. He's being puppeted by someone today, that's for sure. Sure. Sponsored by Ford Blue Cruise. When Larry looks down, the radio shuts off. We're done. You guys have yourselves a great one. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.