01-29-25 - Rock Wars - Song For The Overweight Lyft Rider

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: Rock Wars - Song For The Overweight Lyft Rider Release Date: January 29, 2025

Podcast Information: Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Description: John Holmberg attempts to entertain, question, and disturb as many listeners as possible with assistance from Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Tune in weekdays from 5:30a-10a on 97.9fm, the 98KUPD app, or www.98kupd.com.

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1. Main Discussion: Discrimination in Ridesharing

The episode kicks off with a spirited discussion about a viral video featuring a significantly overweight woman attempting to board an Uber or Lyft but being turned away by the driver. This incident has sparked debates regarding discrimination based on body size.

Bret Vesely (02:33):

"Discrimination by race or gender or whatever. That's real discrimination. It's insulting to the people who took the real beatings to conquer oppression. To lump being too fat to fit in an Altima into oppression. It isn't. It's your fault."

John Holmberg (03:39):

"Because he's lost all that weight."

The hosts express unanimous support for the driver's decision, emphasizing practical concerns over personal animosity. They dissect the nuances of discrimination, distinguishing between systemic oppression and individual preferences or safety considerations.

Brett Vesely (03:39):

"We sided with the driver. It's not fair to have to cram that lady in there."

2. Rock Wars: Selecting the Perfect Rejection Song

Transitioning into their signature segment, Rock Wars, the hosts brainstorm songs that an Uber or Lyft driver could play to subtly signal to passengers that they are being declined without direct confrontation.

Bret Vesely (04:31):

"And so he called the authorities, and they showed up, and magically, she got out of the car when the cops and the firefighters came to. Then she had to pay bills. Hilarious."

Song Suggestions:

• Brady Bogen (08:25):
  Recommends "Spandex Enormity" by Billy Milano from Mod.

  "One of my people, Billy Milano from Mod, he has a song called Spandex Enormity. And I mean, some of the lyrics are, what an effing beast."

• Bret Vesely (09:28):
  Proposes using the "Ozempic" theme song by Pilot.

  "Oh, oh, oh, it's magic."

• Brett Vesely (08:42):
  Critiques the directness of other suggestions, advocating for a more subtle approach.

  "It's gonna get you sued. What you need is a little earworm in their heads that make them realize."

• Bret Vesely (10:32):
  Discusses his own preference for less aggressive messaging.

  "I like the message. Mine is similar, that there's a message behind it, but it's not as aggressive."

John Holmberg (10:41):

"And I can see the car pulling up and just kind of stopping and then inching forward to motivate them a little bit. Went old school. You'll recognize the song when it came out. Baby elephant rock."

3. Voting and Results

The hosts invite listeners to vote for their favorite song suggestion via email or text. Despite a competitive round, the playful banter concludes with Brady Bogen’s "Baby Elephant Walk" by Henry Mancini taking the lead.

Bret Vesely (11:18):

"With that one, it says, I love how Brady tried to combat the narrative that he only picked Rock Wars Topics based on what the last thing you guys were talking about was."

John Holmberg (16:35):

"Baby Elephant Walk. There's the Miller's Outpost pictures. Remember Miller's Outpost?"

Ultimately, the audience votes for Baby Elephant Walk, recognizing its catchy and non-confrontational nature, making it the ideal choice for signaling rejection discreetly.

4. Nostalgia for Miller's Outpost

The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as the hosts reminisce about Miller's Outpost, a beloved Phoenix-based clothing store known for its oversized jeans and iconic storefront displays.

Bret Vesely (15:26):

"Like those jeans. Off that wall, please. You jerks."

Brady Bogen (17:03):

"No, it can't be here. As outdoorsy stuff. Nobody did sidewalk sales."

The hosts fondly recall the store’s unique offerings and its transformation over the years, highlighting its significance in Arizona's retail history.

John Holmberg (16:37):

"I have heard enough of."

Brett Vesely (17:48):

"It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually."

5. Closing Remarks

In wrapping up, the hosts acknowledge Brady Bogen's creativity in aligning the topic with current discussions, awarding him the week's win. They encourage listeners to participate in future Rock Wars and continue sharing their stories and song suggestions.

Brett Vesely (17:48):

"It's Baby Elephant Walk, everybody."

Dick Toledo (17:50):

"It's pretty cool, actually."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bret Vesely (02:33):
  "Discrimination by race or gender or whatever. That's real discrimination. It's insulting to the people who took the real beatings to conquer oppression."

• John Holmberg (03:39):
  "Because he's lost all that weight."

• Brady Bogen (08:25):
  "One of my people, Billy Milano from Mod, he has a song called Spandex Enormity."

• John Holmberg (10:41):
  "Baby elephant rock."

• Bret Vesely (11:18):
  "I love how Brady tried to combat the narrative that he only picked Rock Wars Topics based on what the last thing you guys were talking about was."

• Brett Vesely (16:37):
  "I have heard enough of."

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor with social commentary, addressing sensitive topics like discrimination in ridesharing through engaging discussions and creative segments like Rock Wars. The nostalgic reminiscence about Miller's Outpost adds a personal touch, resonating with long-time Arizona listeners. As always, the hosts deliver their trademark blend of wit and insight, ensuring an entertaining and thought-provoking morning show.

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Timestamps

• 00:00 - 00:35: Advertisement Slot (Skipped)
• 00:35 - 01:54: Initial Banter and Setup
• 01:54 - 05:17: Discussion on Rideshare Discrimination
• 05:17 - 11:18: Introduction to Rock Wars and Song Suggestions
• 11:18 - 17:50: Voting, Results, and Miller's Outpost Nostalgia
• 17:50 - End: Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I forgot about that. Idiot. You made me picture it. Shut up. Ah, what a phrase. Brett. Just. We need. You know, there is part of me that wants to just roll camera between songs in here. You have no idea how fast we'd lose our job. Oh, it would be the first day.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

And we would be the show. Everything would suffer if we ever put cameras in here on what goes on in between because we feel free to speak in the room and so we joke and. Terrible. Terrible. Like, say what you just said, which was lady parts and the word deer ticks. And I don't even know how that intersects. But, Brady, I swear to God, you shouldn't even. I'm worried about your tender good ear. The last things you're hearing. He's at the age now where that could be the last thing he heard. Deer ticks on her. What? And then I got a. Hey, not even a cape. It is 74. It's raining outside this morning. Hope Travic's treating you right. But yeah, we would. I would. And we'd be quiet. So then the show would be worried constantly. I don't know. Can't happen, I think. You know, you have a bad radio show when you're allowed to film what's going on in between.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I think that it's proof that you don't have a whole lot of, like, legitimate comfort and chemistry in the room. If you're. If you're willing to share the between stuff. Horrifying. Anyway, I got to read this to you, Brady, before we hear what you have for Rock Wars. This one first says, oh, I'm going back to the lift. The fat lady trying to get on the lift says, john, when I drove for Lyft, I started to discriminate against certain people, mainly gays covered in Glitter. I picked up three guys that were dressed in dragon in my 2016 Ultima had mesh leather upholstery. What's mesh leather?

[John]

Like a stuff that's perforated that has.

[Brady]

Yeah, like when you got air conditioned seats. Oh, it's got the thing.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah, I think that's punched.

[Brett]

Okay. Yeah, I think that's it. He said, guess what my back seat looked like when they got out. Glitter bomb. It's ridiculous. Never got to clean it. Never got right. So say no more. Never again will I pick up dudes in Dragon. Stand your ground, Uber driver. I got your back. That's exactly right, Ray. If you've got a problem and you see people dressed up covered in glitter, strippers have to be thrown into there too. Glitter people are not allowed in your car because it's too hard to get out of that mesh leather. So, yeah, I'm all for proper discrimination of weird behavior. Discrimination by race or gender or whatever. That's real discrimination. It's insulting to the people who took the real beatings. To conquer oppression. To lump being too fat to fit in an Altima into oppression. It isn't. It's your fault. Yeah, I can't believe. I can't believe there aren't. I can't believe, like, Al Sharpton doesn't hop on board this one and say, no, bitch, you're just fat. You're not oppressed. This is your fault.

[John]

Because he's lost all that weight.

[Brett]

Yeah, right. That and the fact that clearly this country hasn't treated you too bad. There are no more restaurants that say, you're not allowed in. Obviously. Anyway, and then this one, Joshua says, I see what you did there, John Puppet master. You mentioned Brittney Griner situation right before you tell Brady it's his choice for Rock Wars. Inevitably, this guy waits till the last minute to choose any topic. I can almost guarantee you it's a goodbye song for Griner. Let's see Joshua. Let's see if Joshua was right. Did you just change your mind?

[John]

Nope.

[Brett]

Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure. Brady, what is your Rock wars topic for the week?

[John]

You're the Uber Lyft driver and it's even song, even more suggestive song that you're choosing to. If that song's playing, you know you're passing on that customer.

[Brett]

Okay. It's your discrimination song.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And we're gonna ban fat by weirdo Yankee. Things like that. The low hanging fruit. Obviously a rule we will apply to. All right. A song that you play rather than so there's no chance that you get into a verbal battle with the person you've decided to say, I'm not picking you up.

[Brady]

Like the signal. Like if something comes on, the radio comes up.

[Brett]

This Uber driver has eyeballed me and says I am no longer. He's going to clear my fare and drive away. I have to order another car till someone is willing to pick me up. I don't hear this particular song. And this will be. This will be the one. Now, it can't be discriminatory for again, race or gender. It can be, however, for obscenely large doesn't fit in my car. Or dressed in all glitter and feathers.

[Brady]

And let's knock out the Steel panther. There she blows. And the fat girl song. And all that low hanging, right?

[Brett]

All the low hanging stuff. Let's get something real. I like that. It's 9 21. You can help us out [e-mail] you can text 97936. Help Lyft and Uber drivers with their. Their new way of telling people no. I think it's a nice thing. God, Waymo. Such a great thing. I'd love to see a fat person try to pile into a Waymo and have the Waymo just go driving away in 5, 4. By the way, here's the thing I learned last night with Waymo. If you're a Waymo participant like me, Jen Gardner downstairs taught me this. She goes, I said, the car only waits for you five minutes once it gets here. So I looked and I'm like, oh, geez, it's been here for three minutes. She goes, open the trunk. It won't leave. And there's a button where you can open the trunk. It'll stay as long as you want it to.

[Brady]

I remember Coleman missed two Waymos or something after that.

[Brett]

Yeah, he had them come and going. They're charging them. Every time. I remember that, I just missed another one. Like, Matt, you got to be closer to the car. Yeah. So. All right, so we'll get that. You tell us what you want to hear. Oh, well, no, no, that's the other thing. You tell us what you think we should play and we'll do some rock war next. It's not 98 Hol's Morning Hol Morning Sickness. 98 Holg's Morning Sickness for the weekly battle of musical supremacy known only as Rock wars to you by our friends over at Mole Money Pawn short or long term collateral loans from $10 to over 100,000 dol. Thousand dollars. That's a lot. No credit needed and top dollar paid. With the entire process just taking several minutes. Mo Money, Pawn.com, 12th street and Indian School Rock wars topic this week for Brady, the video that's circulating all over of the really fat lady who is trying to sue because she ordered an Uber or Lyft and the driver said, you're too fat to get in my car. You're not going to fit. And she started to scream. She's suing for discrimination, which isn't really discri. So us, I think we all kind of, without even discussing it, are on the side of the Uber driver. You order an Uber xl, a car you fit in, you don't get the cheap one, and then try to cram yourself, put those muffins back in the tin, squishing yourself into that guy's, you know, Altima. He did the right thing. And that car didn't sound good. The audio, that guy was right. You can hear stuff clanking and grease and even said, I have tired tires. You're gonna pop my tires, fatty. So we need something to let people know when they've been passed by by the Uber driver for reasons that are not racially motivated or personal hatred. Just this was. This relationship is not going to work out between the driver and the said potential passenger in a way that then the passenger knows. Oh. No words were exchanged, but through song they told me, clearly, I'm not getting in there. Brady, who would you like to go first? Brett fired up.

[Brady]

All right, well, one of my people, one of my paisans, Billy Milano from Mod, he has a song called Spandex Enormity. And I mean, some of the lyrics are, what an effing beast.

[Brett]

Must be a feast.

[Brady]

Yeah, So I gotta pull up the lyrics here for you so you can catch it.

[Brett]

All right. Jesus Christmas.

[Brady]

All right, go ahead. There's a little bit of instrumental.

[Brett]

All right, so you got a little bit of the intro there. All right, you gotta move that sign up to start. What a beast. Her ass alone would be a thief and her love chippings contains a special must go on. It's the end of Being Perfect's right here, taking up the whole front row. It's a spandex enormity. All right, Spandex Norman, which I think I know, by the way, and I forgot about.

[Brady]

It's so fitting.

[Brett]

There you go. All right. Spandex Enormity is pretty solid. Pretty solid now, but you want me to go next, Johnny? I think Brett's is a two on the nose.

[Brady]

What are you Talking about, yeah, it's gonna get you.

[Brett]

It's gonna get you sued. What you need is a little earworm in their heads that make them realize. Oh, oh, oh. Make them think it without saying it. And it simply is this. They'll wonder why when this song comes on. What the hell did that guy just drive by for? Roll the window down right now. Yeah, you just play the pilot song and make them sing Ozempic because you know they're thinking about it and as you're driving away, like, son of a. And then you didn't say anything. You just skipped the message. Take your one star, don't charge them and move on. That's it. Pilot. O o o. It's magic.

[Brady]

That beast has never heard of Ozempic.

[Brett]

Oh, she's heard of it all right. Oh, it haunts her sleep, Brad. It haunts her sleep.

[Dick Toledo]

I can't afford it.

[Brett]

No way.

[Brady]

Well, it's because they're filling the trough.

[Brett]

Yeah, sometimes you got to stay on the trough.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Brady, what's yours?

[John]

I like the message. Mine is similar, that there's a message behind it, but it's not as aggressive.

[Brady]

As Brett's usually isn't.

[John]

And I can see the car pulling up and just kind of stopping and then inching forward to motivate them a little bit. Went old school. You'll recognize the song when it came out. Baby elephant rock.

[Brett]

That's pretty. Those are my favorite fat people songs of all time. I used to play that when Ralphie would come in. Son of a bitch. He had his walk up music for the comedy show and I talked the guy in the sound to play this instead. I'll break you, son of a bitch. All right. Baby elephant walks pretty strong. God damn. All right. It's a good battle this week. Will it be spandex enormity?

[Brady]

Whose things mod?

[Brett]

Mine was pilots. O o o It's magic. And Brady chose the great Mancini baby elephant walk. What will you choose? [e-mail] is the email. You can vote there. You can text 97936, throw it out that direction and you can make it work. That way we'll find out who wins rock wars coming up next. It's 98 Holmberg's Morning Sickness. All right. Right in the middle of rock horse here on this glorious Wednesday. And the choices for the story of the day. Really Fat lady that wasn't allowed in the Uber or Lyft. I'm not sure which one it was because the guy said it flattened my tires. Still Hilarious. Although after reviewing the video, he was very nice. I wanted him to be nicer than I would have been. Nicer than me too. I wouldn't have given her that much time talking like, you know why I'm not picking you up. And then she's suing. So we, you know, we sided with the driver. It's not fair to have to cram that lady in there. And then we had that guy Manny email and tell us that when he was a Lyft driver, there was a fat lady that claimed she was so disabled she couldn't get out, and he had to help. He's like, I'm not helping you. If I pull up your arm out of your sock, you'll sue me for damages. I'm not doing it. So he called the authorities, and they showed up, and magically, she got out of the car when the cops and the firefighters came to. Then she had to pay bills. Hilarious. But we need a song for Uber drivers so they can drive by and tell you not picking you up. Brett chose Spandex Enormity by mod. I chose the Ozempic theme song by Pilot, the original. Oh, oh, oh, it's magic. And then Brady chose Henry Mancini of Pink Panther fame with Baby Elephant Walk. Nailed it. By the way, with that one, it says, I love how Brady tried to combat the narrative that he only picked Rock Wars Topics based on what the last thing you guys were talking about was. But literally, after being accused of about to do it in the Brittney Griner story, he managed to shoehorn this in, which was the exact last thing you talked about. But I got to give it to him. It was a good topic. My vote goes to Brett. I can hear that song as he rolls right by saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back out of my way, porky. Get your guzzle guts out. You're not getting in my ride. Your fat ass can hoof it. This one says, chancellor, you had a good song, but I got to give it to Pop Pop this week. It's tough to say it, but that's. It's a couple weeks in a row. You may have banned it, but Weird Al's fat would have been fitting. It's too obvious. Yeah. It's too easy. Kim says, good picture. I'm going to Brady for safety reasons. A wise choice to use the song with no lyrics. That way the ham planets can get angry and they'll do it to themselves. End up, you know, with the wrong lyrics. You'll end up sitting on an Uber driver or eating Them. Worst case, I have to go with Brady on this one. If Baby Elephant Walk was the visual picture, Brady's seeing it and maybe he's gonna be one of the people they pass by. He's not there yet. A Pop Pop for the win. Cuz it's his birthday. No other reason. And technically not really. Brady really did well in the email says gotta. Gotta go with Brady on this one. Baby Elephant walk game knows game. It says mod for the kill fatty be gone. This one says oh, oh, oh oh. Zempic. I don't think I've heard the original in my life, but I'd sing along. I'd say the message is sent. Happy birthday Brady. I'm giving you a win. Leave it to Brady to pick the big person song toss up between the Jewburg or Pop Pop. But I'm going to go with the man, the legend, the bloodhound Holmberg for the win. Thanks Phil. I can smell you got to vote for Brett because no one likes big girls in their cars. That song should be for every fat girl, no matter if you're an Uber driver or not. Well, that's just mean. Drive by and play a fat girl song. That's mean. They have to be too big to get in the car. We're not talking about regular oversized ladies. 2020 plus size like Lane Bryant even looks at and goes back row like your. Your jeans are way up here. We didn't think anybody would ever come for them. Or if they've ever had to unpin the funny jeans on the wall for you to try on like that those Miller's Outpost jeans.

[John]

Hold on.

[Brett]

Remember Miller's Outpost? Those giant jeans they always had in every single Miller's Outpost when you walked in the wall had like huge jeans. Nowadays that would be a section that used to be a joke and nowadays it'd be like oh, we need to mass produce those. Brady, he won the emails 10 to 5. To 5. Brett, we got beat badly on this one. What do you got?

[Brady]

He had a good one today.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Right now you guys are getting clobbered four to one by Brady.

[Brett]

Brady's winning with Baby Elephant Walker. All right, get the final call. So let's get the phones ringing now in case it hits 585-9800. John Gordon, you sit in the magic chair picking number between one and five. Number four it is. Number four on today's Big Wheel is the text. And I do believe Baby Elephant Walk was the big winner there. Brady. When is the last time Brady went back to back ages been a while. All right. It's a new world, Brady. 6.0 is changing the game here. Baby Elephant Walk. There's the Miller's Outpost pictures. Remember Miller's Outpost? Yeah, Brady does.

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Like those jeans. Off that wall, please. You jerks.

[Brady]

Sir, that's just a display.

[Brett]

Not anymore. Get it down.

[John]

Remember, getting a just a plain shirt T shirt at Miller's Outpost became one of my favorites. Just fit.

[Brett]

No, Miller's Outpost was the best. The best.

[Dick Toledo]

This even older.

[Brett]

Mm. Is that a Phoenix store? That's the one at the Park City, I think.

[Dick Toledo]

Sidewalk sale next to.

[Brett]

No, it can't be here. As outdoorsy stuff. Nobody did sidewalk sales.

[Brady]

Park Central Mall.

[Brett]

It looks like Park Central, doesn't it? That's California Memories Post. Either way, Miller's Outpost was the best. T shirts, jeans. Oh, and it just went away. The one that I used to go was on Warner and Alma School. Massive. Then it turned into a Mervyn's. Got a lot of clothes there, too. The Murph. Let's do it. It's Baby Elephant Walk. It's your. We're gonna play it. Damn it. How long is it?

[Dick Toledo]

244.

[Brett]

It's reasonable. All right.

[John]

It's a good walk.

[Brett]

And walk around your office. And try not to waddle because this will make it. Yeah, hoof it a little bit. It's Baby Elephant Walk, everybody.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[Brett]

I have heard enough of.