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A
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
B
It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new friends@liftedtrucks.com here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me choose Lifted trucks and lifted trucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder.
C
You know when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand Up Live and Eastside. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to Desert Ridge improv.com standuplive.com and.
D
10 the improv.comberg's Morning Sickness.
B
The old method of treatment for a.
D
Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.
B
Before we get on with anything else, I wanted to point this out too. So Showtime Shade. I like emails from Showtime Shane. It says fun news John. You talk about your gay neighbors and I'm absolutely, definitely not on that side of the fence. But last week I went to a sporting event with my friend and her childhood friend who is gay, excuse me, and a husband showed up with him. They were very nice and I threw out some gay jokes just to see where they lived and they laughed and we had a good time. Yesterday she called me and said those two gays couldn't stop talking about me and the numerous compliments about me and what I represented. I was flattered. Women need to take notes from the gays and have compliments towards men. That is a fact. I'll tell you this from experience. And I emailed Shane back. When you're a straight guy and you're hanging out with a group of people, gay models, big fat pigs, doesn't matter if you become sexually Viable in that you beam with confidence. Even not being gay, being at the gay's house and recognizing that there's a few gay guys that are like, all right. It just makes you feel better. You're wanted. And that's what I think women don't take advantage of with husbands or that's all we really want is to be desired. And we don't care who. And we're not necessarily going to act on it. It just feels good.
E
Might be more demanding for the other way that we know that we don't want to feel want.
B
We do it to them all the time, and they tell us to stop it. You look amazing. Ugh, I'm fat. I got it, but I still want to bang it. Is that all this is about? A gay guy says that to you, you get a great ass. Even Bryce at the Rah Rah, there's a guy named Bryce the man. He's a good dude. I like Bryce a lot. He comes by, had a pair of shorts on. I was kind of leaning forward on the bar, and he goes, damn, ass is popping tonight. He's not gay. I said, is it? He goes, yeah, it looks good. Like, thanks, man. And two straight guys telling each other got a great ass. I felt good all night. I walked up the stairs at the sun skim. I'm like, everybody must be looking at what Bryce saw as excellent. Ryan, the Somalia is always like, the calves. Your calves are crushing. I'm like, God damn it. You people are designed to make me feel great.
E
We maybe need to review what some of you know. John Travolta was very complimentary.
B
Yeah. But Sebastian again, though. Yes.
E
Your legs are popping. You got nice legs.
B
I know Sebastian wasn't taken aback by that because he always told the story that John Travolta loved his legs. It was a core memory that John Travolta found something attractive about him. Now, what he didn't realize was then you walk away going, is John Travolta hitting on me? You feel great about it, but then you put up some, you know, some boundaries. But it feels good. So gays and gay. I'll tell you this, having gay neighbors, they are very complimentary. But there is another side of them that if they don't like something on you, you're going to hear about it.
A
Have you gotten that?
B
Oh, yes. We went to a charity event, and Michael and Troy are usually dressed like somehow or another it works. 1970s velour couches, but it pops off of them. If I wore it, people, it's not.
A
Gonna work on straight dude.
B
No, but I had a gray suit on. Just gray suit, white shirt, black tie with some something on it. And I was. I was hosting the event. And. And the last time I went, I was in a blue suit, and I had, like, a light pink shirt on. It was a more colorful suit. It looked nice. And I walked up, and Michael goes, ugh. Hand straight in my face like a crossing guard. Are we going somewhere I don't know about? I'm like, what? He goes, I didn't know we were bringing a mortician. I'm like, what? Okay. The last suit killed it. This. Okay, grandpa. Hop in. And I'm like, oh, geez. So the whole day I just thought, is everybody. See the more I felt terrible about myself.
A
He didn't make you go back and change.
B
He was thinking about it. We were running a little late. He would have. Compliments are nice. People saying you look good is nice. It doesn't matter. So showtime, Shane. Those homos that wanted to nail you, you were beaming with pride with. It doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're now viable. And it just opened a h. You know that the you're now. If you wanted to make the switch, you got options. Have a gaggle of big fat ladies. Is like, you're the hottest guy I've ever seen. You're gonna hang around those fat broads for a little. Don't mean you're gonna bang them like a bunch of fat girls. Like. And they're flirting with Freddy. And we'd be laughing at him. Look at him over there in that. That pot of whales. But he'd be smiling and happy as can be. Those chicks dug me. So wives just know that's all we really care about. Throw a bomb our way every once in a while. It lets us know you want to put a finger in us too. And I think that's really all I have to say about that.
D
The golden asshole has spoken.
B
It's time now for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends@allprochade.com All Pro Shade will get you taken care of. Get those shades up on that house. Get that area in the backyard all covered up professionally. And to make it look good again, I've talked to Hopkins about this and other people. The number one thing people look for when buying a house. Outdoor living space. That's in Arizona. That's huge. They like that. If they like the house and it doesn't have outdoor living space, it's a Check against all pro Shade can help you get that. And it looks amazing. Allprochade.com they're there for you waiting right now. Make your house more beautified with allprochade.com.
E
Brady Reporter Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.
B
Hi.
E
Happy National Puzzle Day and National Corn Chip Day.
B
Do you ever have a pretty woman touch your shirt and go, I like this?
E
Yes.
B
It's not you and you still feel good.
A
Yep, I picked that out.
B
Yeah, exactly. So it's. We're so simple and we've made so much so hard. And gay guys get it.
E
A couple of basis fun facts. Horses are banned from having sex in public in Ohio.
B
Well, it makes all the guys hard.
E
The law states no owner of a stallion or jack shall permit it to serve a mayor within 30ft of a public street or alley.
F
Yeah, somebody's out there with a measuring tape.
B
Well, because it's the smallest girl in Ohio getting laid. Right? Competition. Yeah, it's better than the human ones doing it.
E
Bamboo is the fastest growing plant on Earth. In fact, the Chinese Moso bamboo can grow almost three feet in a single day. Wow.
B
Neat.
E
There are two US Presidents that had the middle initial S. Harry S. Truman.
B
Yep.
A
Wow.
B
S. Dwight D. John F. People are.
E
Probably yelling at Richard.
F
Richard S. No.
B
Donald J. Joseph B. Ulysses S. Ulysses S. Grant.
E
And both cases, the S didn't stand for anything.
B
No kidding. Was there a third? You said there were three or two.
E
Two.
B
Oh, okay.
E
I know we've done this one before, but the most common street name in America is second.
B
Ah.
E
And the second most common is third.
B
Oh, first is not. There's. There's more seconds than first is third.
E
Huh. Then it's fourth and Park.
B
You'd think you'd need one before the other.
F
Yeah, it's probably like named Maine or something like that. And then you go second.
B
Oh, that could be.
F
I don't know.
B
I'm just central Second. But there's still a central and first here.
E
Here.
F
Yeah, but places. It's just.
E
But park makes is the fifth.
B
You'd think that you would have to have as many ones as twos.
E
Apples are not true to seed, meaning the seeds from the particular variety. Apple will not necessarily grow to be the same variety. So if you got Red Delicious, there's a chance you're going to get Red Delicious.
F
Yeah, I thought they were all hybrids, too. Like they've all been mixed into something else.
B
None of it's natural. By the way, Scott Haynes is piggybacking off of us, saying no. Somebody who reads books and glean information off of them. What a genius move he's made. He says, I like to make up quotes, but I keep quote names handy. And he said, I'll use Kurt Vonnegut or Nietzsche and whatever. And he goes, but a lot of the times, I'm actually just saying what Orko said at the end of he man. You know, Kurt Vonnegut once said, and nobody's going to look into that. And then you say, you know, something like knowledge is the implication of intelligence, but it's really what Orko said. And he man, Right at the end of it. You got to throw that in at the end. Did Kurt Vonnegut say that too?
E
Yep.
B
He always closed with he man.
E
In 2024, the Washington Post ran an article that said we might be able to swim in the Potomac soon. Swimming in DC's waters has been illegal since 1971 due to the high levels of fecal matter. Human fecal matter.
B
Oh, they're flushing. They're flushing into it. Oh, boy.
E
So things looked like they're going in the right direction. Improving. But there's currently a small geyser of poop water flooding into the potent. The Potomac. Potomac. Sorry.
B
You got it right the first time.
E
Because last week's collapse of a sewer line carrying wastewater from Virginia and Maryland.
B
Brady in that hat looks like he's trying to get away with something.
F
It does.
B
You look like you're about to put some sunglasses on and follow Kirby around for a couple. I know it's a cheese and stuff hat. You want people to notice, but it's more just the idea that you look a little bit like you're gonna spy on.
E
I thought. I usually don't wear a hat. I thought, you know what? I'm gonna put a hat on to block the. The ice vent.
B
And it's smart.
E
It's working out.
B
Yeah. But it does look like you're up to no good for some reason. It's because it's black. You're in a black hat.
E
Yeah.
B
It's not good. It's not normal for you.
E
It's not the generic black that Larry likes to wear.
B
No. Yeah. Larry doesn't have any insignia on his hat. It's just a black. Oh, that one.
E
Yeah.
B
It says the police sketches they do for guys they're looking for where they sell plain black hats to future criminals.
E
It's estimated that 40 million gallons of untreated sewage is spilling into the Potomac daily.
B
And also, hats with, like, logos on them are more expensive. And we Know Larry's not going to pay that.
D
Something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
E
Got a guy named Kevin Westerholt. He lives in Kissimmee, Florida, at a place called the Windsor Hills Resort. He and his wife own condos there, and they rent them out, put them on Airbnb. It's near Disney World. Cops got multiple 911 calls about a guy exposing himself. It's not clear if he was outside his own place or neighbors. He was gone by the time the police got there. But a witness said Kevin was half naked, and they've got some footage of him hoovering. Basically, he was getting it on with a vacuum. Now, they haven't released the video.
B
We got ring cam of this?
E
No, but the cops got a warrant and arrested him on Tuesday. He's facing.
B
Wait, he was still out there?
E
Yeah, because they did. They had to track him down after the fact.
B
Oh, no, he was still out there with the vacuum.
E
That's it. They got. Oh, the sketch.
B
Wait, he was out there doing it?
E
He was out there in the. In. In the community. Yeah, with the vacuum. Getting it on.
B
And then when they caught him, they.
E
Were still doing film on the. They. By the time the police got there, he was already gone.
B
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
E
They called 91 1. They filmed it.
B
Gotcha. I thought you were saying it was on the body cams of the cops. And that's what we're going to get released. I was, like, still jerking off with the vacuum.
E
Three days later, the people turned in. I'm surprised no one. But it's an older community probably, so that's why they didn't put it up on social media.
B
Oh, it's 55 plus. Yeah, they know how to work the Internet.
E
I know, but I'm surprised no one didn't put it up there. Check out this guy.
B
No, I'd have filmed it. I'd have walked right up to him. The hell are you doing?
E
What do you think he looks like?
B
No.
E
51 years old.
B
So it wasn't an older community. You just assume kissing me floor is old.
E
Yeah, I assumed. The Windsor Hills Resort is Brett basically.
B
Jerking off with the vacuum out in front of the house again. Okay, I'll say it's gonna look.
A
Kind.
B
Of like if Larry was naked. I'm just gonna go with a frail, small.
F
Ooh, that one's gonna be tough to beat.
B
I don't want to say Larry's frail, but He's a smaller man. I'll say it's him. About 5, 7, 140 pounds.
F
All right, I'll go polar opposite. I'll go overweight.
B
I think. A big fat dude. I don't think so.
A
I'm gonna say David Har.
B
Oh, balding.
A
Yeah.
B
Or like bald, but not admitting it.
F
Are we all Caucasian on this?
B
A little bit punchy. The dad bod. Okay. Yeah, we're all different here. Brady, what's he look like? If he's black, I'll lose my mind.
E
He's not black. He's an edge rusher.
B
Former. Oh, my God. He's an athlete.
E
Wow.
B
Oh, man. Wow.
A
All missed it.
E
Way off.
B
Did not see that guy.
E
Christian McCann of the Smokey Gun, Florida man, 51, busted for sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner.
B
Yeah. What a strapping young lad. Why can't he find. Ladies? What the hell's going on? And he's got a bang in the back.
E
His wife.
B
Oh, there it is.
F
Answered.
B
He hasn't had sex in years. He's got to bang the appliances.
F
But out in public, I mean, I get to.
B
I get the urge.
F
But you know what's.
E
Yeah.
B
Why outside? Well, because his wife's inside. He doesn't want to hear it anymore. He'd rather get arrested for banging a vacuum in the front yard than hear her one more minute of the day.
G
Are you gonna.
B
Oh, my God.
G
Are you gonna take that outside?
B
With pleasure, bitch.
G
Clean it.
B
She's watching me the whole time anyway. God damn it.
E
Take out the trash.
B
Yeah, she probably would while he's sitting on the porch banging the vacuum with your little bag put next to you. God damn it. She's wrecking everything.
E
It was one of the VRBOs that. Would you go and vacuum it? Yeah.
G
It's still filthy. What did you do here all day?
B
I don't know. I'm tired.
E
Vacuum cleaner's jam.
G
Well, you vacuumed up some mayonnaise or what is in this? You can't vacuum liquid, Steven.
B
Yes, you can.
A
I got a shop vac.
B
Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
G
Why are you using that outdoor vac.
B
All the time in the house?
E
It's gross.
B
It's all dirty. All right. Oh, that's it. Melissa.
G
Do you name the vacuum Melissa?
B
Shut up.
F
The third vacuum you've ordered on Amazon this year.
E
Ugh.
B
It's all about sex with you. You look like Christian McCaffrey, and somehow I'm still not interested.
G
But don't you look at anyone else.
B
Don't worry about it. I've got this incredible Hoover. I don't want to tell Brady this, but I'm moving on to a Kirby later. Those are some machines. Don't do the Dyson, though.
E
Chop it right off.
F
Too much.
E
This biologist, Colin Domnaur, is reopening an old case that Chinese health officials seem to have stopped caring about. But every summer, residents of the Yunnan province checked into hospitals with complaints that they're hallucinating. Tiny elf like people were coming under their door. Well, they were cooking with this mushroom.
B
Well, yeah, there you go.
E
And this type of mushroom that they'd have. They found out everyone would have the same hallucination.
A
It's.
B
Oh, it's like. It's like a movie.
E
They called it Lilliputian hallucinations.
B
I want that they figured out that.
E
If you cook with these mushrooms, if you. You. You need to boil it for 15 minutes, it goes away. No hallucination. So if you just need it, your pasta dish, just go seven minutes.
B
Six, Seven minutes. And you'll start. But if you want to hold on.
E
Hallucination.
B
Because the whole reason I don't do hallucinogenics is because I'm worried about a scary one.
E
Yeah.
B
But if you can tell me how this movie goes. Are the Lilliputians evil there in lies.
E
Saying they're coming in and I don't think it sounded, like peaceful. It was a party.
B
But they didn't have, like, steel teeth and they're. Yeah, yeah.
E
But they said, you know, midway through and they said that the hallucinations would last 12 to 24 hours.
B
That's fantastic.
F
I don't know. 24 hour hallucination.
B
I would never want it to end. Little people crawling under the door all day for 24 solid. And you take a nap and you wake, wake up and they're like, hey, wait, they just come marching under the door.
F
Dude is gonna go to Home Depot and barricade himself in.
B
Good. That. That dude would be me.
E
Could be a fun dinner party.
B
What's the mushroom called? And do we sell it here? Because that sounds like a cell to me on hallucinogenics. Because I'm scared of them otherwise.
E
La maoa spelled that.
B
Brady.
E
L A N M A O A.
B
That's like something I could get in Hawaii.
E
It looks like Asiatica Asia. T I C A.
B
I don't know if we can. But I don't want hallucinogenics where people are like, you could have a bad trip. But if they're like, nope. Every time you eat it east. The little people crawl under your door and everything is happy. Like, okay, just cook it for five minutes like a burrito. Five minutes. Okay. And I just sit in a chair and watch little people crawl into the door for the better part of a day. What? Where's the downside here? I mean, you guys are sitting there watching Mara Kingstowne for eight, nine hours at a time. What's the difference? It's binging. None. It's binging on little people coming under the door. Yeah, I'm wasting a day. But I do that a lot.
F
Five minutes of that hallucination seems like a lot to me.
B
Yeah.
F
Full 24 hours of men coming underneath your door.
B
It doesn't have to be men. We're a little tiny. Women can come under there too.
E
Yeah, I'm. I might need a little more details about the hallucination.
B
Why won't you hire the Lilliputian women to crawl into? Come on, you know you need more than that.
E
Well, a little more information, like you said. Are they. Yeah. Do they have metal teeth?
B
So long as I don't like, lose my mind.
E
Bad trip.
B
I would giggle. Little Chinese people crawling under a door. This is like a dream for me. If I could create that and it doesn't end for a day, I'd eat it immediately at 23 hours and start over. That is hysterical. And the first ones would make me so happy.
E
Megan, Megan, Megan.
B
I just said no. I would always be in a dark room all alone at Aaron Rodgers. Listen, nobody's going to be with me. She'd scare me to death if a woman came in full sized with them right after their leader. No, I don't need her anywhere near this. This is in a private space all alone. This is ayahuasca. Aaron Rodgers. But imagine you're sitting there and you're like. You eat the mushroom and your 10 minutes go by like, no little people. And then the first one pokes his head under, come on in and turn into Robin Williams. Oh, get in here. Let's play little tiny people. And me, I'm Gulliver.
E
Elon Musk.
B
Oh. I'd lay down and imagine him tying me to stuff and. Oh my God, Gulliver. I have never been more excited about a creation ever. I've never wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't even want that. They're too big too. They're already too big.
E
They're too big.
B
I'm picturing Lego sized Chinaman. Oh, and they're crawling under a door.
F
Yeah, I guess that's true.
B
And then just. First one just goes, oh, is it safe on him? Oh, I dance with him and just watch them scatter. I'd throw a ball in the air like their worst nightmare. Run water.
E
Imagine that. But isn't that wild, the fact that people had that same hallucination?
B
Yes, that's why I'm excited about it, because it doesn't seem to be anybody going, no, no, this happened to me. I was abducted by giants.
A
Batman said Scott Haynes can just run in and out of the room to recreate the experience for you.
E
Just picture him.
B
If I could get Haynes in a room of mirrors, it would be the same. Damn it. I'm so. That's. I am wildly intrigued by this, I guess.
E
Elon Musk was on an earnings call yesterday with investors, and he said Tesla will discontinue Model S and Model x in the second quarter of 2026.
B
Nobody's buying them anymore.
E
Well, they're making room robots. The Tesla Fremont factory. Correct.
B
I saw that yesterday.
E
Optimus humanoid robot.
B
He's. He's turned his attention off of the car since Democrats made them awful, even though they're great. And he's not Nobody like the 70% drop or something like that in sales on the S and the X in the last year. So he's like, well, screw it. You're not dealing with a dude who cares about losing money. He's like, all right, done. I won't give you the gift anymore. I'll make the nice ones and then the lower end market ones we won't sell. And I'm going to focus on those boxes.
E
The first one that rolled off in 2012 and then the Model X was the one with the gull wing doors.
A
Yeah, they haven't changed much either.
B
No, that's true. But again, it's time for a refresh. It got to the point where everybody called him a Nazi, right?
A
No, no, I get that.
B
And it screwed up his print, but he's like, no, just. All right, then I'll build a robot army. Call me a Nazi. Watch this.
A
I think the cyber trucks are sitting around too. Those aren't doing what they thought.
B
No, but I still like them.
D
Get something, something. Check out Homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.comberg's morning.
E
Sickness Absolute Vodka has teamed up with a new product. It's called Absolute Tabasco Vodka in it. Yep.
B
Oh, that's good.
E
It's a spicy absolute with the Tabasco and already pre Designed. Now, the percentage of alcohol, it's a 76 proof, but you can add. Which is slightly less than the normal vodka, which is 40 proof.
B
You can add more or. Or add more hot sauce to. You can ratio it yourself at home.
E
Available now.
B
That's an easy mix.
E
Yeah.
B
Just pour a little vodka in your favorite hot sauce and you're doing the same thing. This is just pretty manufactured.
E
I've got two Brady videos. The first one is a wild World Brady video.
B
Okay. Hello, my friends are good.
E
Here's your Wild world radio video. Snow leopard attacked.
B
Oh.
E
A lady in China at a ski destination. A popular ski.
B
I saw the headline. We got a video of this.
E
There's a video. You don't see the actual attack. You just see her. They're pulling her out of the snow.
B
All attack snow leopards just.
E
Did she drown in the background? No, she survived, but he went to town on her face.
B
Oh, no. Okay, so we're just in it's wild white landscape. Is that her or there's a leopard. He's on top of her.
E
Yep.
B
I thought snow leopards were white. He's like a leopard. Colored leopard.
E
Yeah. And so he ate her pretty face.
B
Oh, she's in a helmet and everything. It did nothing. The helmet did nothing.
F
Is she holding her other hand?
B
Yeah. Well, that's a elbow, maybe a mitten. But it also may be snow leopard damage. And there's some dude in a snowboard like, I'm going home.
E
Check it out. I.
F
Sir, there's one hand. There's the other hand.
B
That's that guy's hand.
E
Okay.
B
That's holding her up. It's all bloody.
E
I thought maybe she was.
B
Face is gushing blood.
E
He is.
B
Don't know if you paid attention to the story to it when she was attacked in the face by a snow leopard. There's going to be blood now check out.
E
Maybe you've seen it. But they'll go to the background.
B
He's just standing there.
E
There's the snow leopard.
B
Yeah. Walking. Well, that's where he lives, Brady.
E
Yeah, but usually they take off.
B
Why?
F
He just got dinner.
B
He's got a belly full. Do you just run out of restaurants?
F
There he goes now he's trotting off a little bit.
B
She's Chinese, so he's gonna go back for another one in an hour. I hope she was eating those mushrooms and he sees little snow leopards coming out from under doors. I wonder if that would happen. Ooh, if you gave mushrooms to a snow leopard, would he hallucinate? Leopards or people. Oh, see you, Brett. Brett just fell over.
E
Tiny cats.
B
Yeah, I think it would be tiny cats, too. All right, what's next?
F
I'm pulling it up.
E
It's.
F
It's having trouble getting there.
E
Bring back the water cannons.
B
Is this just a dumb thing where somebody gets AI?
A
Oh, I don't believe it would be dumb.
B
I'm with Brad on this one.
E
Of course, you're right, Brett.
B
See, it's a water cannon. It's not real. He says, oh, I think it's real now.
F
The first one's AI first one's definitely AI.
B
You're in trouble. The future is bad for you.
E
All right, go ahead.
B
All right, let me see.
E
Okay, well, you can't play it, but here we go with all the protesting going on.
B
Okay, you think this is real? We're in Minnesota. Ladies punching us.
E
No, I don't know if that's Minnesota.
B
It's just. I would assume it's Minnesota.
E
I thought it was a different one in the first one.
B
And they hit her.
E
Brady, watch the water. That's a great. I don't care.
B
Okay, no, I'm laughing.
E
Go ahead. But, like, up the other ones. Yeah, that's Dusty Bash.
F
That's what I said.
B
The first one is definitely AI I don't think that's real. I don't know.
E
Maybe. But check this one.
B
These are the old fire cannons they would get in other countries. Yeah, it's fun to watch hoses push people around. The reasoning is not fun. Michael Blaze said, yeah, when you. When you get a big hose knocking somebody on their ass, it's fun. But then you have to look into why they're doing it. You're like, ooh, this is not good.
E
Right?
B
But it is on first blush, if you're just like, watch this guy get hit with a hose, it's great.
F
In another year or so, you're gonna have video of those little men coming in underneath the door, and you're gonna play it for us, thinking it's real.
B
Yeah, that's it.
E
So will you.
B
China's been better. Come on. I think you're gonna be first. We will be fooled, but yeah, little Chinese people. Check it out. Coming under doors and such.
E
Sweet. You'll see. It's pretty sweet.
B
Would you do the hallucinogenics to watch the Chinese people?
E
What I was saying was, like, I need to know information. Just dropped the point.
B
Based on this bad.
E
You know, these people are going to the hospital if it's.
B
Yeah, well, they're going to the hospital. Trip Worried that it's never going to end.
E
Yeah. And, you know, 12 to 24 hours. If I could, I don't know if I'd want to go that long with it.
B
But if it's fun, I've been told by several people, papa Xanax. And it stops it.
E
Oh.
F
Like.
B
Like, immediately, I guess.
E
Counteracts.
B
Yeah. You wouldn't do it. Maybe.
E
Yeah.
B
Let's get Brady some hallucinogens.
A
Let's sure we can arrange that.
B
I wonder what he would see. Would just be, like, Safeway roasted chickens, like, everywhere, all just creeping under the door. And the closer they get, the bigger and juicier they are. Oh, no, I can smell them. Smell is intoxicating. I do that all day. Yeah, that is. I'm. I've heard people talk about ayahuasca and, like, acid trips, and I'm like, I'm not interested. Because I've heard too many people go. You go to be with somebody because it can get really crazy. And I'm like, that's where you lose me. Not against it. I'm against being scared afterwards. And then this one girl told me, she said, I took one. I had a bad trip, like, eight years ago. And every once in a while it comes back like, what? Yeah, it was lsd. And I'm like, you're an idiot. Why you think that? And then she wanted to do it. You want to do that? And like, absolutely not. She was an intern at the old radio station. I'm not going to do LSD with you. You just explained to me that it's haunted you for a decade. Want some? No. It's like when people say, this tastes terrible here. What do you think? Like, you didn't sell it. All right, Brett, what do you got?
A
All right, the boys sent over a couple for Brady.
B
All right, Somebody. Bang. Oh, it's a crippled guy with something hanging. Okay. Asian dude who's got a penis hanging off his chin.
E
Wow.
F
That's AI, Brett.
B
I'm not saying it's not.
A
They sent it over for Brady, though.
B
So it's not me. I don't know if it is actually.
E
Passed on that guy. Did you. The other droopy guy that I had was, you know, it was better.
B
Oh, well, that's not a droopy guy. You saw them.
E
I know. That's why, Right?
A
Yeah.
B
His face was melting. But he also had to yesterday, right? Oh, it's Siamese twins at their wedding dancing with their new husband. All right? People putting songs about it, saying, so that's the guy that married the. I forgot their names and the other one stuck there.
A
The other one's sitting there stuck like that.
B
Really? I think he married both. I think both of them are interested in that husband. I forget that guy's name. He's a pervert, though. There's you don't marry sign. Yeah.
F
There's something a little off with you.
B
You don't you bang them. You don't lock them down. They're not going anywhere anyway. By the way, you don't need to commit to the Siamese twin. She ain't going anywhere. You think she's got options?
E
Do you think he did two first dances? Because, like, the one.
B
Probably two songs. Her song and then her song. Yeah, yeah. Similar dance, though, because the bodies aren't different.
A
Fun at the pool.
B
Side of a pool. Somebody's on their knees in front of a woman who just kicks the guy in the balls right at the side of the pool. Is that a. He's wearing night braces and he's got a ball gag.
E
Ready?
B
Remember that? Remember your ball gag, Brady? Yeah, he's got a ball gag. She just keeps kicking him in the nuts at the pool. And there's, like, people just swimming, watching this. There's another one, though. There's a mermaid. The lady's wearing another chair. Oh, now a big fat lady's kicking them in the balls. I guess everybody's allowed. There's like, three or four people just lining up. It's like that scene in Airplane where everybody's smacking that lady.
F
I gotta get out here.
B
Gotta get out of here. Wow.
E
I would have said no to the big. And that's a big leg coming up.
B
I would have said no to all of them. Yeah. I wouldn't have said yes to one person that wants to kick me in the nuts.
A
Here's another OSHA video for it.
B
We're over some. What looks to be like dough vats. Oh. One grabbed hold of the worker and it's pulling her in. Oh, we're spinning. We're spinning. What should be kneading dough is now just spinning an Asian around quickly. I like that. These all have musical themes now. It's at a bakery. The dough is being. She's the only employee there. Nobody's helping. Nobody's turning it off. It's gonna spin forever.
E
Until the second shift came in.
B
Eight hours later, those little tiny men crawled under the door and helped her out. We've seen these before.
A
I think this is a different one, but very similar.
B
Doing a donut in an intersection. There's two people sitting out of the passenger seat. And the guy's doing a full on donut in the middle of an intersection. Now he whips back the other way. One of these girls is going to come out of this car and he's going to run over by the hellcat. Oh, no. Another car came through. Not knowing well, because you're not supposed to be in that side doing donuts in an intersection and then get t boned. Those girls are dead.
A
That's hellcat life for you.
B
This one's dumb. All right, next one.
A
This one doesn't have any sound, but this guy's had enough of this annoying broad.
B
Girl is talking to some guy, looks at was he playing a video game or just sitting at a bar. And he grabs her by the back of the neck. And then it's then by the face. And now she is his hostage.
E
A little serious.
B
He looks Irish. They look like. And the girl that's with her is not helping at all.
F
No, she's thinking about it.
B
This is pimp behavior. He's pimp slamming her face into the table. He pushes her back. He has had enough of her and he's got some sort of control over this room because nobody is doing anything.
E
Russian. Yeah.
B
Oh, yeah, that looks Russian. He's a Russian pimp. Because those are definitely Russian slots. Those are prostitutes. Wow. Who videotapes this stuff?
A
And here's a fight for you. We'll just end with this.
B
In a street. Street fight. Dude's throwing a load of rights. That's a woman, isn't it?
A
No.
B
Oh, no. He's hitting a guy like 10 straight rights to the head. He's in a suicidal hat. I think that's Brett. All the dudes recovered. And the ponytail guy lands a shot. I never would. I'd lost so much money on that. He took 10 or 12 rights to the face. Stood up to it, lands one, knocks the guy cold. How about that? That's what we got. Fanduel odds went through the roof when that fight started. Good fight. Never know.
F
You don't want to jump in on the live betting on that one.
B
No.
F
Like you're gonna five punches in. You're gonna lose a lot of money.
B
Well, the dude that was whipping him, you're like, oh, there's a. It's a minus 110. I'm not gonna make any money on this. The other guy was a plus 1500 after the fifth shot. That was a good fight, though. And then he had a man bun. Might be nothing worse than losing to a man bunny because the guy got.
F
A hold of it at one point.
B
Before he was going down. He couldn't land a good shot.
E
He ended his street fighting career after that.
B
You got to put him away, man. You can't just rely on your right landing. You never know what the guy's got in him. If he kept his jaw shut the whole time, he might be okay. Oof. That was fun. There you go. Is Adam. Yes, he's here. Adam Ferrari. All right, he'll be coming in here in just moments. It's 98 KUPD. Hey.
E
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.
B
I have heard enough of this.
Episode: 01-29-26 – BR – THU – FLA Man Arrested For Having Sex w/Vacuum In Public – Chinese Mushroom Makes Users Hallucinate Tiny Elves For 24hrs And John Wants Some
Date: January 29, 2026
Host & Cast: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
This episode of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” delivers a mix of the bizarre, hilarious, and mildly disturbing, including a segment about a Florida man caught “in the act” with a vacuum cleaner in public, and an exploration of a wild Chinese mushroom that makes users hallucinate “tiny elves” for up to 24 hours. The team, led by John Holmberg, leans into irreverent humor about relationships, male insecurity, and odd news, while riffing on local happenings and sharing banter about praise, gay neighbors, and what men (really) want. As always, their tone is unfiltered, playful, and peppered with asides and visual gags.
The episode is irreverent, snarky, and gleefully inappropriate; the hosts lean into their “disturb, question, entertain” ethos with no topic off-limits, even when discussing criminal acts or personal insecurity.
This episode combines outlandish news (sexual acts with a vacuum, a mushroom that conjures elves), local flavor, and classic “HMS” bro-humor. As always, listeners are treated to a blend of weird news, self-deprecating discussions about manhood and relationships, and a parade of viral internet oddities, all filtered through the show’s unapologetically irreverent lens.
If you missed the show, you missed:
- Why every man wants a compliment, even from unexpected sources
- The latest “Florida Man” legend
- The new frontier in hallucinogens: guaranteed elf sightings
- Elon Musk’s next moves and spicy vodka
- Why you should never underestimate an underdog in a street fight