← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
01-29-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
00:50:20
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- [00:00]
John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new friends@liftedtrucks.com here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted. Because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been custom countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me. Choose lifted trucks and liftedtrucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder. You know when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand Up Live and East side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I don't understand it when people get all mad when you're not on their side. Then I'm not on anybody's side. I don't know what's going on at Zips.
- [01:27]
Brady
I. I know.
- [01:28]
John Holmberg
Here's what I know about zips because everything eventually will come back to me in my brain. I am officially a human trafficker. I have been a human trafficker. I'm reading the details about the whole ZIPS thing. This deal was. They have been all over these people for years. And guess what, Brett. I know we talked about it before. Seventy employees at the Zips were using the same documents. The Chris Valenzuelas that I talk about all the time have not stopped. And I was in on it. I hired several people with the same documents. I didn't do the hiring, but I og I'm one of the peeps that you saw it. And part of the rules of the trafficking or the was to call your family back in Mexico and say, hey, they'll hire you here. And we would. They'd just come up and not even hire them. They'd just be part of the Valenzuela bunch. It was awesome. I know there were guys that just showed up to cook. They might have been running.
- [02:29]
Brady
And they did it. Like, they picked it up.
- [02:31]
John Holmberg
I'd be like, who the hell is that? I'm like, oh, that's Chris's Uncle Ed. Like, when did he get here? He's like, we don't care. He somehow knows the whole menu. Like, it's first day there. He knew how to cook everything. Not a question. No training. Never set foot in the restaurant. Shows up in the white suit. I'm like, who the hell are you, Chris. Ah, you're one of them. Okay. And I never questioned it. And Chris, the. The lead Chris, when the first. The OG Chris would always come to me. A dude named Tony. And another guy goes, hey, I got the two guys. New one to come tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Do they know the menu? Yes. He like, is that what you guys do at your house? You do training? You should work. You should have Tony Roma's training facilities in the Playa Palms.
- [03:13]
Brady
So I think I understand how, like, the trafficking, that the lead, Chris.
- [03:17]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [03:18]
Brady
Is basically the guy who starts the job off.
- [03:22]
John Holmberg
See, I don't know that.
- [03:23]
Brady
And then I wonder. The trafficking part is those guys come in, he gets a piece.
- [03:29]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, Brady. They also worked. They worked at other restaurants.
- [03:33]
Brady
Right. And so they rotate around.
- [03:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Whoever was available. Like, you go to Bennegan's, you go to La Pinata, and we go to Romas. And, like, four new ones would show up, and they're like, do they know the area? Corridor work today?
- [03:47]
Brady
Yep. Okay. Fridays got Hula Hampshire.
- [03:51]
John Holmberg
I go to Fridays. And every kitchen was everywhere you ate from. In my experience from 1987 to 1994, it was the same cooks. All of them were the Chris Valenzuelas. Now, that's not true, because from 87 to about 90, we had fairly legitimate staff.
- [04:07]
Brady
What if there's a ceremony where they, like, knighted them? I knighted you?
- [04:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [04:11]
Brady
Chris Valenzuela.
- [04:12]
John Holmberg
Well, I think he had to pass their training thing at the apartments on. On Country Club. Okay. Welcome to Tony Roma's Ben against TGI Fridays and Applebee's train.
- [04:21]
Brady
Is that why like, sometimes the apartments, they. You know, there'd be bus, and It'd be, like, 27 people. Yeah, it's a training camp.
- [04:26]
John Holmberg
It's a training facility. Yeah. And then they got real smart. Had that one in Arcadia where they had like 131 people sleeping in that house. And the neighbors were looking in the backyard and their sleeping bags that. There's like a thousand people.
- [04:37]
Brady
Went to the next level. That was resort training, cooking.
- [04:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Would you work at the Monte Lucia? You work at Rhys Carlton.
- [04:44]
Brady
You're greeted out front.
- [04:45]
John Holmberg
Welcome to the gold standard of Chris Venezuela's. These dudes were everywhere. And I facilitated it. I'm not proud of it, but I didn't know that that's human trafficking. I was a human trafficker. And let me tell you this, it's easy now. It wasn't sex trafficking and I wasn't bringing families over sewn up in suits and like, like, you know, chairs and Honda Accords. Wasn't making them upholstery. But, you know, they'd ask me, I got two guys who come tomorrow. Yeah, you're more than welcome. Do you want to talk to them? Why, why did you train them? Okay. Are they. Are they ready? Oh, they've been through the silver standard, the tour platinum. We have got them going. They have got their own place at Playa Palms. We are considering making them, you know, official trainers. Like. No kidding. Yeah, bring them in. These dudes showed up and cooked everything on the menu. Santa Fe salad, which always baffled me to this day gives me nightmares when someone would order that because I'm like, ah, I don't know what that is. Nobody ordered it. It was a big taco shell, huge. And it was stuffed with all sorts of different stuff. And then you had to have meat. And the cooks would have to do the ground beef and all that. And the servers would grab these. These shells that just sat on a shelf for. Without breaking them for days. So it's a tortilla shell in a deep fryer. It takes two seconds. But we, we pre made like hundreds of them. They were. If you ever ordered that, that thing, you were eaten out of a shell that was. Could have been years old. I don't know. They were sitting up and they're just collecting dust. Not in a box or anything. Just grab it by your hand, put it on the thing and then fill it with lettuce and stuff and then give it to the cooks. And I never knew what was in that. But the people who ordered it always effing knew what was in the goddamn Santa Fe salad. That's a variation of it. Oh, that's the. That's when they changed it from the bowl to the L shaped tortilla.
- [06:34]
Brady
Taco. Yeah, bigger tortilla folded.
- [06:36]
John Holmberg
They f. It Was easier because they were cracking like crazy. But every goddamn person who ordered it knew everything that was supposed to be on it and I didn't. These dudes would show up from Plat Palms. They knew everybody. Never got a complaint when the Valenzuela started to do it. Maybe you should have went there for training. I should have. That wouldn't have been a bad idea. Well, I was too busy running the border, I think. I didn't even know it.
- [06:59]
Brady
Muddling fruit.
- [07:00]
John Holmberg
So I'm looking at the borders, I'm looking at, dude, I'm looking at this, this zips thing and I'm like, I was doing that. I mean, we had five restaurants.
- [07:10]
Brady
Imagine how many restaurants. I mean, it's still.
- [07:12]
John Holmberg
We were running 30 valenzuelas easy. Between the five.
- [07:18]
Brady
If you, you know, sure, there's a lot of places that you're running a restaurant and all sudden you're down a cook. Oh, I've got a. I've got a cousin that can.
- [07:26]
John Holmberg
We were never down.
- [07:27]
Brady
Bring him in. Let's interview him.
- [07:28]
John Holmberg
If a dude. There were four guys on the cook line and four dudes were there every night. Sometimes it was dudes you've never seen before. You know, they've. But they showed up and they. And it was. And people confused that for Mexicans work harder. No, what they did was know your p's and q's so you don't raise any red flags. Get the job done. Because if people start going, who the hell is this guy? It's all going to crumble. So you showed up.
- [07:56]
Brady
You, check goes to the one guy and he distributes the money. Maybe.
- [08:01]
Dale
No, no, no.
- [08:02]
John Holmberg
They all got checks. I still don't know how it worked. Okay, Everybody was getting paid. There were multiple Chris Valens, Whale.
- [08:08]
Brady
They would pick up the check. But who knows?
- [08:10]
John Holmberg
No, no, no. Like we had four dudes on our, on our Chris Valenzuela payroll. I don't know how, but nine dudes were Chris Valenzuela. Yeah, they divvied it up at home. But we. Not just one check, because that would have been another huge red flag. Why is Chris Valenzuela making $144,000 a year? Making more than Bill Osborne. Right. Everyone here isn't making that. But it never. I. I understood the football term next man up through my Valenzuelas because it's like we're down to that. We're down two Chris's. And then the new Chrises would show up and then every once in a while we'd have our white cooks on schedule. Grant and Aaron and these guys. And they loved the Valenzuelas, but Grant and Aaron were like, these dudes are machines. It was great. So to zips and know what you're doing. You got sloppy. This is easy. You needed a. If you needed a consultant. I've been. I've been bragging about this for years, not knowing that it was the most illegal thing I've ever done in my life. I have to wonder if the statute of limitations is up. There's a Tony Roman shirt. I had plenty of those. The old baseball tees. Yeah. Oh, I was running. I was running hot on the trafficking. I had no idea. Me, Tony, my boss, Peter Tottenham, and his twin John. Was Bill Osborne there then? Oh, Bill was the king of it. Yeah, Bill was there. Yes. I don't know who these little guys are, but I'd take 15 or 20 of them to get the job done. Hey, Bill, who's that? Who knows? But he's in a white coat, so he knows the drill.
- [09:43]
Brady
Get busy, yellow hand.
- [09:44]
John Holmberg
And they'd walk in, and then it's like they knew the. Like, they had schematics at their apartment to know exactly. They never walked in and said, where do I go? They walked right in. Hi. Through the bar, back to the kitchen. Like, how do you do this? They knew where all the pots and pans were already and everything they had. I think they rebuilt their apartment of Playa Palms to look just like the kitchen and just ran drills. Ocean's Eleven. They did it at a time.
- [10:09]
Brady
Simulate crazy.
- [10:12]
John Holmberg
So I, John Holmberg, proud human trafficker, without knowing it. My apologies. We didn't harm any families, though. We weren't doing anything terrible. But the Chris Valenzuelas, that was my. I dabbled in it. I dabbled in it. I can't help it, but it's very true. It's something. Something. Check out Hornberg's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I don't know if you guys have been down this road. I. I remember it popping up a while ago and, you know, the here's and the theirs of whatever this is. But the Adventures of Barron Trump book that came out in 1900. And then I started to look into. I talked about it a little bit a couple weeks ago, and I'm like, well, I didn't know about the Elon connection, and there's a load of weird stuff in it. So if you don't know, it's came.
- [11:10]
Brady
Up with the name Baron.
- [11:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's an author called Ingersoll Lockwood, and he wrote a thing called Barron Trump's Marvel Underground Journey and another book called the Last President, and it's Baron Trump. It's spelled differently than the giant Baron Trump that's now a crime fighter in London. I don't know if you saw that. Either he called 9 or whatever, 911 is in London and stopped a criminal and then said, my actions put your ass in jail. And that was his quote. Like, that's pretty. That's pretty cool. So Baron is the story of Ingersoll Lockwood's book, which is really weird. And then. So I didn't know this. This is what I'm digging into, and I'm getting into this hole I don't know that I really want to get into. He was an occultist, the author, and often times back in the day, they thought he was dabbling with black magic and could see the future and, like, all this stuff. So he writes this book where Barron Trump is this mischievous, kind of Dennis the Menace type, but he grew up in New York and he was super wealthy, and he was guided by someone named Don, and Don guided Baron. And he lived in a place that he renamed Castle Trump. And they're in New York City. Right. They're one of the biggest buildings in New York. And he called it Castle Trump. And Baron went on and on about that. I have not read. I'm about to read books. This is how intrigued I am. I don't do that. I. I don't read and I don't know if it's any good, but it basically. Then it goes on to a book called. Oh, and by the way, it was a Fifth Avenue apartment building and he named it Right Where Trump Towers. So it's the Last President is the other book. And it's a chaotic election in New York City where Trump gets elected, and then it's the downfall of American society, and he appoints a man named Pence to his cabinet. So that's. I remember the first time Trump was president. This started in. Here's the weird parts, is that the U.S. government. This is where I'm going to start sounding crazy. In 1943, the government, after Nikola Tesla died, had. He had something that he was working on called a death ray, Right. And they were worried about that because Nikola. Nikola Tesla had come up with some stuff. John Trump was the one that Nikola Tesla kind of gave the information to. Then he had knowledge and everything else about the death ray. John Trump is Donald Trump's uncle. Tesla, of course, is the connection back to Elon. And then there's Werner von Braun's book. So they think that maybe the Trump family has connections with. Has the death ray thing, and Elon is the new thing, and he's in. The Tesla combo is in there. And then there's another thing of the Project Mars is a book that Werner von Braun wrote and describes a future Martian society led by a person whose title was Elon. And he made his life's work to colonize Mars, as has Elon, Musk, SpaceX, and all that stuff. So they're saying it's a. It's a future execution thing. And the Tesla modernization. Eli, or Elon, named his car company after Tesla to kind of give the clue that he's in on the death ray thing. That I think the Trump family's got, which is why everybody blows back so hard on this thing, is that it goes from the books to actual real life of Tesla inventing death rays, and the Trump family being the ones that got the documents for it the US Government was trying to get. And now he's like, the biggest outside. And that was the thing about the last president. It is so weird how many coincidences are in this and also conspiratorial and theoretical and all that nonsense, but it's making me want to read, so that's wild.
- [14:53]
Brady
The one book is called the Last American President.
- [14:55]
John Holmberg
It's the Last President or the last. Yeah. And the other one is called yeah.
- [15:00]
Brady
Because there is a last American President.
- [15:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah. It's this one's.
- [15:03]
Brady
That one's in 2025.
- [15:05]
John Holmberg
No, that's not it.
- [15:06]
Brady
Yeah.
- [15:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that would be not it. This is Baron Trump's marvelous underground journey.
- [15:12]
Brady
Just.
- [15:12]
John Holmberg
Just Google Ingersoll.
- [15:14]
Brady
I remember seeing that particular book.
- [15:16]
John Holmberg
Ingersoll Lockwood is the one that. He's the author. And when you start reading about it, you're like, damn it, I can't. I can barely read. And I'm. Now I'm looking at it, and I'm gonna be disappointed. It's not. It's probably a dumb book by some weird occultist, but the ties are so, you know, it's that Lincoln Kennedy connection where it feels like the simulation broke and they started. You ever, Brett, you've done this when you get, like, MLB, the baseball game on. On PlayStation? Yeah. And then you blow through whatever season. If you got MLB 24, you blow through that one and you're like, all right. And then you create your own guy. Usually it's Brett Vesley, right? Fielder, Chicago White Sox. You go through the farm system, whatever. The next thing you know you've done four seasons post 24 and so now it's 2029, 2030 and you're playing the game fully NFL Madden does the same thing and you're drafting players that don't really exist, but there's names. And then you start to recognize that the simulation is just taking like Barry Sanders and turning it into Emmett Sanders. Like it's just using other names and making new people out of it. So it's like, well that's a coincidence. And they're. Oh no, you know, that makes sense. Like Ben Rivers and you know, Brett Manning and those players. And then there's just a bunch of made up names like, you know, and they. And it cycles through and you can go as many years as you want and it'll. Eventually everyone currently playing in the NFL will have retired and you'll have a whole fictional league going. I've done that when I used to be in the Madden years ago. I would play 20, 25 seasons on that thing, blow through them so fast. And next thing you're just playing with people that don't exist. But it's made up names and they go back. That's what this feels like. Because that is a simulation. Like that is the original. The game is simulating what you would play and it's crazy made up names and you realize who's great in the league and they have, they're recycling. Yeah. And they don't really recycle fully. But it's just close enough to where the simulation's like I'm borrowing. That's what this feels like. The Lincoln Kennedy thing where the secretary was named Lincoln and his secretary was named Kennedy and they were both elected 100 years exactly apart and died for silver and it was just weird. And that's what this is. And I don't. So I'm asking before I start reading, if one of you smart listeners have already done this, if you could. Cliff's notes this for me and tell me whether it's worth my time because I'm into it right now. I'm doing research on the Internet, which is never good, but I'm reading about it and it's getting me more interested in this. Like I don't want to read. I reiterate if there's kids listening. Biggest waste of time in my life has been reading. Although I did meet with a guy named Tommy Mellow yesterday and he's a wild success story, runs A1 Garage and he has billions. He's legitimate. Like, and I went in. In his office yesterday, and it's nothing but books. And my brain's like. My brain got mad at me, like, see, that is how you learn. And I'm like, no, it's not how you learn. You meet people who read all those books, and then they tell you the good parts, and you absorb that. They do the heavy lifting. You do the learning. You need to quit doing this other podcast, Nash, is that this has nothing to do with Nash. Nothing to do with Nash.
- [18:33]
Brady
Started lit the fuse.
- [18:35]
John Holmberg
Matthew's right. No, it didn't. Because all the stuff he talks about, I either argue with him, and I don't necessarily agree, but the movie, a.
- [18:41]
Brady
Lot of as he talked about this.
- [18:43]
John Holmberg
But no, not once.
- [18:44]
Matthew
Not at all.
- [18:45]
John Holmberg
No. I knew. I knew about this in the first Trump thing. I thought it was silly. And then I started to look in. I'm like, there are some strange coincidences. And then you start getting into that death ray thing, and you're like, I don't know how true that is, but that's why I want to read. But I need someone who's already done it. My life has gotten me where I am by gleaning information off of smart people. I'm not smart. I'm smart enough to know, listen to the smart ones and steal and taking.
- [19:09]
Brady
The nuggets and coming up with your own conclusions.
- [19:12]
John Holmberg
Yes, steal from the wise who actually read the books. I don't read books. I hate reading. Matthew Smith goes, hey, golden asshole, what's this crazy talk about reading? You're not wrong. The golden asshole does not like reading. The golden asshole. The golden asshole has spoken. If you can find one of those idiots who likes books, make friends with them, and then ask him questions about books, they'll tell you the good parts. You can skip all the reading. They can't wait to talk about what they read, because otherwise it's a giant waste of time for them. Yesterday, Tommy, I'm sitting in his office, started rattling off. I'm like, I can't keep up. Rattling off quotes from books and things that he'd read. And this. I've read 10 of these books about that. I'm like, oh, my God, I got to hang out with this guy. He's going to make it seem like I read. I don't, and I hate it. I'll have him read the book and then just give you the. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm asking. I'm asking him or someone else to do it. This guy says, I got down that same rabbit hole, too. There's so many coincidences. So it kept me reading Kelly Fire over some info. Give me some bullet points on this, and then I can. I can actually do it. Rather than be the guy who hears something for the very first time and then picks up my phone and acts like I'm in the conversation. I can't. I am doing some looking into, but I'm not reading these books. But I'm so close. I'm so close to reading this. There's something. Check out Homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
- [20:44]
Brady
Got a guy named Kevin Westerholt. He lives in Kissimmee, Florida, at a place called the Windsor Hills Resort. He and his wife own condos there, and they rent them out, put them on Airbnb. It's near Disney World. Cops got multiple 911 calls about a guy exposing himself. It's not clear if he was outside his own place or neighbors. He was gone by the time the police got there, but a witness said Kevin was half naked. And they've got some footage of him hoovering. Basically, he was getting it on with a vacuum. Now, they haven't released the video.
- [21:28]
John Holmberg
We got ring came of this.
- [21:30]
Brady
No, but the cops got a warrant and arrested him on Tuesday. He's facing.
- [21:35]
John Holmberg
Wait, he was still out there?
- [21:37]
Brady
Yeah, because they did. They had to track him down after the fact.
- [21:40]
John Holmberg
Oh, no, he was still out there with the vacuum. That's it.
- [21:43]
Brady
They got. Oh, the sketch.
- [21:46]
John Holmberg
Wait, he was out there doing it?
- [21:48]
Brady
He was out there in the. In. In the community. Yeah, with the vacuum. Getting it on.
- [21:52]
John Holmberg
And then when they caught him, they.
- [21:54]
Brady
Were still doing film on the. They. By the time the police got there, he was already gone.
- [21:59]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- [21:59]
Brady
They called 91 1. They filmed it.
- [22:01]
John Holmberg
Gotcha. I thought you were saying it was on the body cams of the cops and that's what we're going to get released. I was, like, still jerking off with the vacuum.
- [22:08]
Brady
Three days later, the people turned in. I'm surprised no one, but it's an older community probably, so that's why they didn't put it up on social media.
- [22:17]
John Holmberg
Oh, it's 55 plus. Yeah, they know how to work the Internet.
- [22:21]
Brady
I know, but I'm surprised no one didn't put it up there. Check out this guy.
- [22:25]
John Holmberg
No, I'd have filmed it. I'd have walked right up to him. The hell Are you doing?
- [22:30]
Brady
What do you think he looks like?
- [22:31]
John Holmberg
No.
- [22:32]
Brady
51 years old.
- [22:34]
John Holmberg
So it wasn't an older community. You just assume kissing me floor is old.
- [22:40]
Brady
Yeah, I assumed. The Windsor Hills Resort is Brett basically.
- [22:47]
John Holmberg
Jerking off with the vacuum out in front of the house again. Okay, I'll say it's gonna look kind of like if Larry was naked. I'm just gonna go with a frail, small. Ooh, that one's gonna be tough to beat. I don't want to say Larry's frail, but he's a smaller man. I'll say it's him. About 5, 7, 140 pounds. All right, I'll go polar opposite. I'll go overweight. I think a big fat dude. I don't think so. I'm gonna say David Har. Oh, balding. Yeah. Or like bald, but not admitting it. Are we all Caucasian on this? A little bit punchy. The dad bod. Okay. Yeah, we're all different here. Brady. What's he look like? If he's black, I'll lose my mind.
- [23:26]
Brady
He's not black. He's an edge rusher.
- [23:28]
John Holmberg
Former. Oh, my God. He's an athlete.
- [23:30]
Brady
Wow. Oh, man.
- [23:31]
John Holmberg
Wow. All missed it.
- [23:33]
Brady
Way off.
- [23:34]
John Holmberg
Did not see that guy.
- [23:35]
Brady
Christian McCann of the Smokey Gun, Florida man, 51, busted for sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner.
- [23:42]
John Holmberg
Yeah. What a strapping young lad. Why can't he find ladies? What the hell's going on? And he's got a bang in the back.
- [23:49]
Brady
His wife.
- [23:50]
John Holmberg
Oh, there it is. There it is. Answered. He hasn't had sex in years. He's got to bang the appliances.
- [24:00]
Brady
But out in public, I mean, I get to.
- [24:02]
John Holmberg
I get the urge, but you know what's.
- [24:05]
Brady
Yeah.
- [24:05]
John Holmberg
Why outside? Well, because his wife's inside. He doesn't want to hear it anymore. He'd rather get arrested for banging a vacuum in the front yard than hear her one more minute of the day. Are you gonna. Oh, my God. Are you gonna take that outside? With pleasure, bitch. Clean it. She's watching me the whole time anyway. God damn it.
- [24:32]
Brady
Take out the trash.
- [24:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, she probably would while he's sitting on the porch banging the vacuum with your little bag put next to you. God damn it. She's wrecking everything.
- [24:41]
Brady
It was one of the VRBOs that. Would you go and vacuum it? Yeah.
- [24:48]
John Holmberg
It's still filthy. What did you do here all day? I don't know. I'm tired.
- [24:51]
Brady
Vacuum cleaners jam.
- [24:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, you vacuumed up some mayonnaise or. What is in this? You can't vacuum liquid, Steven. Yes, you can. I got a shop vac.
- [25:02]
Dale
Don't worry about it.
- [25:03]
John Holmberg
Don't worry about it. Why are you using that outdoor vac all the time in the house?
- [25:06]
Brady
It's gross.
- [25:07]
John Holmberg
It's all dirty. All right. Oh, that's it. Melissa, do you name the vacuum? Melissa, shut up. The third vacuum you've ordered on Amazon this year. Ugh. It's all about sex with you. You look like Christian McCaffrey, and somehow I'm still not interested. But don't you look at anyone else. Don't worry about it. I've got this incredible Hoover. I don't want to tell Brady this, but I'm moving on to a Kirby later. Those are some machines. Don't do the Dyson, though. Chop it right off. Oh, too much.
- [25:40]
Brady
This biologist, Colin Domnaur, is reopening an old case that Chinese health officials seem to have stopped caring about. But every summer, residents of the Yunnan province checked into hospitals with complaints that they're hallucinating. Tiny elf, like, people were coming under their door. Well, they were cooking with this mushroom.
- [26:00]
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, there you go.
- [26:01]
Brady
And this type of mushroom that they'd have, they found out everyone would have the same hallucination.
- [26:08]
John Holmberg
It's. Oh, it's like. It's like a movie.
- [26:11]
Brady
They called it Lilliputian hallucination.
- [26:14]
John Holmberg
I want that.
- [26:15]
Brady
I figured out that if you cook with these mushrooms, if you. You. You need to boil it for 15 minutes, it goes away. No hallucination. So if you pasta dish, just go seven minutes. Six.
- [26:28]
John Holmberg
Seven minutes, and you'll start.
- [26:29]
Brady
But if you want to hold on. Hallucination.
- [26:31]
John Holmberg
Because the whole reason I don't do hallucinogenics is because I'm worried about a scary one.
- [26:35]
Brady
Yeah.
- [26:36]
John Holmberg
But if you can tell me how this movie goes. Are the Lilliputians evil?
- [26:41]
Brady
There in lies the rebel.
- [26:43]
John Holmberg
They come in.
- [26:44]
Brady
They're coming in, and I don't think it sounded, like, peaceful. It was a party.
- [26:49]
John Holmberg
But they didn't have, like, steel teeth and they're. Yeah, yeah.
- [26:53]
Brady
But they said, you know, midway through, and they said that the hallucinations would last 12 to 24 hours.
- [26:58]
John Holmberg
That's fantastic. I don't know. 24 hour hallucination. I would never want it to end. Little people crawling under the door all day for 24 solid. And you take a nap and you wait. Wake up and they're like, hey, wait, they just come marching under the door.
- [27:16]
Brady
Dude is gonna go to Home Depot and barricade himself in.
- [27:19]
John Holmberg
Dude. That. That dude would be me.
- [27:21]
Brady
Could be a fun Dinner party.
- [27:23]
John Holmberg
What's the mushroom called? And do we sell it here? Because that sounds like a cell to me on hallucinogenics. Because I'm scared of him otherwise.
- [27:32]
Brady
La Maoa.
- [27:34]
John Holmberg
Spelled that Brady.
- [27:36]
Brady
L A, N, M, A, O A.
- [27:40]
John Holmberg
That's like something I could get in Hawaii.
- [27:42]
Brady
It looks like Asiatica Asia. T I C A.
- [27:49]
John Holmberg
I don't know if we can, but I don't want hallucinogenics where people are like, you could have a bad trip. But if they're like, nope. Every time you eat of these little people crawl under your door and everything are happy. Okay. Just cook it for five minutes like a burrito. Five minutes. Okay. And then I just sit in a chair and watch little people crawl into the door for the better part of a day. What? Where's the downside here? I mean, you guys are sitting there watching Mara Kingstowne for eight, nine hours at a time. What's the difference? It's binging.
- [28:24]
Brady
None.
- [28:24]
John Holmberg
It's binging on little people coming under the door. Yeah, I'm wasting a day. But I do that a lot. Five minutes of that hallucination seems like a lot to me. Yeah. Full 24 hours of men coming underneath your door. It doesn't have to be men. We're a little. Little tiny women can come under there too.
- [28:41]
Brady
Yeah, I'm. I might need a little more details about the hallucination.
- [28:45]
John Holmberg
Why won't you hire the Lilliputian women to crawl into? Come on, you know you need more than that.
- [28:49]
Brady
Well, a little more information, like you said. Are they. Yeah. Do they have metal teeth?
- [28:53]
John Holmberg
So long as I don't, like, lose my mind.
- [28:55]
Brady
Bad trip.
- [28:56]
John Holmberg
I would giggle. Little Chinese people crawling under a door. This is like a dream for me. If I could create that and it doesn't end for a day, I'd eat it immediately at 23 hours and start over. That is hysterical. And the first ones would make me so happy. Megan, Megan, Megan. I just said no. I would always be in a dark room all alone. I had Aaron Rodgers. Listen, nobody's going to be with me. She'd scare me to death if a woman came in full sized with them right after their leader. No, I don't need her anywhere near this. This is in a private space all alone. This is ayahuasca. Aaron Rodgers. But imagine you're sitting there and you're like, you eat the mushroom and you're 10 minutes go by like, no little people. And then the first one pokes his head under. Hello. Like, oh, come on. In and turn into Robin Williams. Oh, get in here. Let's play little tiny people. And me, I'm Gulliver.
- [29:51]
Brady
Elon Musk. Oh.
- [29:54]
John Holmberg
I'd lay down and imagine him tying me to stuff and. Oh, my God, Gulliver. I have never been more excited about a creation, ever. I've never wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't even want that. They're too big, too. They're already too big.
- [30:09]
Brady
They're too big.
- [30:10]
John Holmberg
I'm picturing Lego sized Chinaman. Oh, and they're crawling under a door.
- [30:16]
Brady
Yeah, I guess that's true.
- [30:17]
John Holmberg
And then just. First one just goes, oh, is it safe on him? Oh, I dance with them and just watch them scatter. I'd throw a ball in the air like their worst nightmare. Run water.
- [30:32]
Brady
Imagine that. But isn't that wild, the fact that people had that same hallucination?
- [30:37]
John Holmberg
Yes. That's why I'm excited about it. Because it doesn't seem to be anybody going, no, happen to me. I was abducted by giants. Batman said Scott Haynes can just run in and out of the room to recreate the experience for you.
- [30:49]
Matthew
Just picture him.
- [30:51]
John Holmberg
If I could get Haynes in a room of mirrors, it would be the same. Damn it. I'm. That's in. I am wildly intrigued by this. There's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness. We always look forward to you. And you know what's funny? I'm going to tell you this. I had a dream about you last night. Really? This is fun.
- [31:16]
Matthew
Well, before you start that, may I say the ass is popping.
- [31:19]
John Holmberg
Oh, thank you. My day is made, my friend. You haven't even seen me walk away yet. Wait until you see this. But I. I had a dream about you last night because yesterday Toledo said, hey, if Adam come back two days, can you want to do it? I'm like, yeah, that's fine.
- [31:34]
Dale
Yeah.
- [31:35]
John Holmberg
So I had one of those work dreams where nothing.
- [31:39]
Matthew
He's just sleeping in the work.
- [31:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Which means I'm sleeping. But I had a dream and you came in and I couldn't make a word of sense out of anything. And you're just answering with one word. And this was the worst interview ever. So I'd like show. I'm like building things and you keep going. Yeah, that's great. Like you and it was just going and it was. It wouldn't end you ever those work.
- [31:58]
Matthew
Brady Tuesday, he gets pudding.
- [31:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Do you Ever have those dreams that like.
- [32:02]
Matthew
Only when I.
- [32:03]
Brady
Comedy.
- [32:03]
Matthew
When I, when I ate a Chinese mushroom once.
- [32:06]
John Holmberg
Oh my God. You've been listening.
- [32:08]
Matthew
We listen in the car and I go, I got to get it.
- [32:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah. What you would do the Chinese?
- [32:14]
Matthew
I, I did, I did a psychedelic thing.
- [32:16]
John Holmberg
Really?
- [32:16]
Matthew
I did the mush because I did all my research, Right?
- [32:18]
John Holmberg
Yes.
- [32:19]
Matthew
Because I, I looked at the world, I looked at me and I go, it's got to be me.
- [32:22]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [32:23]
Dale
Yes.
- [32:23]
Matthew
Life's been here a lot longer than I have.
- [32:25]
John Holmberg
Yes.
- [32:26]
Matthew
It's got to be me. So, so I did my research. Ayahuasca. I'm not, I'm not going to Peru.
- [32:32]
John Holmberg
It's too far and. Yeah. And I'm not traveling for it.
- [32:34]
Matthew
No, I'm not traveling for it. My, my buddy did ketamine.
- [32:37]
Dale
Yeah.
- [32:38]
Matthew
And then he got a divorce, but I think he was going to get.
- [32:39]
John Holmberg
A divorce, but I had a guy do the same thing.
- [32:42]
Brady
Sped it up.
- [32:43]
Matthew
Yeah.
- [32:44]
John Holmberg
He had a life altering experience and came home and told his wife he didn't want to be with her anymore.
- [32:47]
Dale
Wow.
- [32:48]
John Holmberg
Same thing. Wow.
- [32:49]
Matthew
Probably the same guy.
- [32:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah, could be.
- [32:51]
Matthew
But, but ketamine, it's a dissociative and it's, it's, it's got to be intravenous and it's what I read it go. A lot of anesthesiologists administer it for you.
- [33:01]
John Holmberg
Really?
- [33:01]
Matthew
So you're like, you got to go to some apartment in the Valley. I'm like, yeah, I'm not, no.
- [33:06]
John Holmberg
That's like dentistry at a days in. Yeah, not gonna do that. Yeah, yeah.
- [33:09]
Matthew
So. And then dmt.
- [33:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I've heard that's awesome.
- [33:14]
Matthew
That, that's like. Well, I was, I was offered bufo, which is the organic. The Toad Venom. The organic dmt. It's the same thing. Well, it's the organic version of it, but it's like in 15 minutes you're in another dimension. You back it on the street. Make sense of that. Yeah, that seems like a lot.
- [33:28]
John Holmberg
I just don't like taking anything with the name Venom. I won't even drink like a monster energy drink.
- [33:32]
Matthew
It's too much vanilla.
- [33:34]
John Holmberg
Venom. I'm like, that's Venom. I'm not supposed to avoid Ven.
- [33:37]
Brady
You go old school and lick the toad.
- [33:39]
John Holmberg
No. Good.
- [33:40]
Brady
Christ.
- [33:40]
John Holmberg
What's wrong with you?
- [33:42]
Matthew
Well, that's, you know what I, I, look, I, I, I, there's got to be something else out there.
- [33:47]
Dale
Yeah.
- [33:47]
Matthew
You know, I need to. People go, it's an acquired taste. If you put something in your mouth for the first time. And you go, yeah, Like, I gotta.
- [33:55]
John Holmberg
Get used to this.
- [33:57]
Dale
What?
- [33:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I had a friend years ago order a pizza, right? And he put mushrooms under the cheese without anybody knowing. Mushroom, mushrooms. Mushroom, mushrooms, right? And we're eating them, and I'm like, this pizza tastes horrible. And he's just going. And I'm like, oh, no. All I did was throw up for 35 minutes. I got a headache, and I went right to sleep.
- [34:16]
Matthew
Well, that's what I did, the mushrooms. I did my research. And you go. And you meet the. You go. Met this guy that was recommended to me, and he talks to you for one day, what you want to do, and then you go back the next day. And I told my wife, I'm gonna go do this.
- [34:28]
John Holmberg
And she get. Well, I don't. I don't like it, but if it's.
- [34:30]
Matthew
Something you need to do, I know you missed this.
- [34:32]
John Holmberg
Ms. Doubtfires.
- [34:34]
Matthew
Sounds like my wife lives under a mushroom.
- [34:36]
John Holmberg
She came under the door.
- [34:37]
Matthew
She came under the door.
- [34:38]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [34:38]
Brady
If you want to do it, I.
- [34:39]
John Holmberg
Love and support you.
- [34:41]
Matthew
I'll be with the dogs under the bed.
- [34:43]
John Holmberg
Is she in your pocket right now?
- [34:44]
Matthew
Can we meet her?
- [34:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that'd be lovely.
- [34:47]
Matthew
So I, I, I. I said, okay, we're gonna go do this. So I drove to the guy's house, and I told him, I said, if I wake up, my ass is wet and I feel shame.
- [34:54]
John Holmberg
I'm gonna beat the hell out of.
- [34:55]
Matthew
You, and I'm leaving my wallet in the car. So he gave me a bunch of mushrooms, right? So you go in the room, it's dark, you listen to. He gets a playlist.
- [35:07]
Brady
Are you the only one in there?
- [35:08]
Matthew
No, he sits in the.
- [35:09]
Brady
In.
- [35:10]
Matthew
In the. He holds spit.
- [35:11]
John Holmberg
Whatever it's called. He jerks off while you're asleep.
- [35:14]
Matthew
Yeah, so. So I got up, like, an hour and a half into. I was buzzed, right? But I wasn't smelling colors, you know? I wasn't.
- [35:21]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [35:22]
Matthew
But about an hour and a half into it, I got up, I looked at him, I go, it ain't working. You want to eat? And he went, what? He goes, how are you not seeing swinging off the ceiling? I gave you a job. I said, I don't know what salad.
- [35:34]
John Holmberg
Bar you got these from, but it's Sizzler. You just had a bad experience. So, nothing? No.
- [35:39]
Matthew
Well, no, a great deal, but it wasn't like what I expected.
- [35:43]
Dale
Yeah.
- [35:44]
Matthew
So he said, what's the last thing you remember? And, John, I think I was answering a question, but I don't Know who asked the question?
- [35:49]
John Holmberg
Which was weird.
- [35:50]
Matthew
It was so I remember saying, I will surrender my expectations. And the guy goes, that's the message.
- [35:56]
John Holmberg
I go, wow.
- [35:57]
Matthew
But it's not fun.
- [35:58]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [35:59]
Matthew
That's not fun. You're wrestling. I'm wrestling with all this. Yeah. All this stuff is coming up. But then like two days, three days, a week later, a month later, you're walking around like, oh, oh, you had a moment. Yeah.
- [36:11]
John Holmberg
And then you surrender expectation.
- [36:13]
Brady
Yeah.
- [36:13]
Matthew
Because if you expect life to look one way and it's not, you get. You get like. I get angry. I don't frustrate. I don't know if you noticed this, John, but I'm on a short.
- [36:24]
John Holmberg
You're not running this.
- [36:25]
Matthew
This is right now. Yeah. Don't know that, right?
- [36:28]
John Holmberg
I don't know. Patience is probably not the thing I would apply to.
- [36:32]
Matthew
From zero to homicide in three seconds.
- [36:37]
John Holmberg
Exactly.
- [36:37]
Brady
He's top fuel.
- [36:38]
John Holmberg
I get it. I get it. And I'm kind of in that same. I have a little more calm about it. Yes, you do. But I also have horrible murderous thoughts.
- [36:46]
Matthew
Oh, that I know.
- [36:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. No, it's.
- [36:49]
Matthew
I met. The first time I met you, I go, I like him, but I don't want to be alone in the room.
- [36:52]
John Holmberg
There's a darkness.
- [36:53]
Matthew
I'll be there with Brady's there.
- [36:55]
Brady
I need my shaman.
- [36:56]
John Holmberg
It's what my brain does that I'm just like. That just can't be right. I have two sides of my. One will tell me something. And I'm like, no one thought that but you. And then I'm like, who's talking to this? Like there's a guy answering those horrible thoughts without. Yeah.
- [37:09]
Matthew
When I was a kid, I told my parents, I said, you know, I said, I think I need to talk to somebody. And I heard in my head. I'm listening now. You're the reason I'm going.
- [37:18]
John Holmberg
You quiet down.
- [37:19]
Matthew
But I was a kid and I went to therapy. I remember telling my mom, I still.
- [37:22]
John Holmberg
Said, I think I'm gonna go to therapy.
- [37:23]
Matthew
I was like, don't try to hang this crap on me.
- [37:28]
Brady
That helps.
- [37:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And we'll start there.
- [37:30]
Matthew
You don't need therapy. You go to confession and tell God what you did.
- [37:34]
Dale
No.
- [37:35]
Matthew
Oh, yeah. And my father leaned in and went, oh, hold it. You don't confess to nothing.
- [37:39]
John Holmberg
What are you, Ferrari's side?
- [37:42]
Matthew
This is a friggin setup. Don't.
- [37:44]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [37:45]
Matthew
God's everywhere. He knows he don't need you running your mouth.
- [37:48]
John Holmberg
You gotta say it out loud.
- [37:49]
Matthew
He saw it Matter with you.
- [37:52]
John Holmberg
Steve did nothing. Yeah, he saw it. That's why I always say that about God and stuff like that. People think that he's always watching. Or I think of it more when people are like, well, especially in sports. Like, I'm just. My grandpa, he's watching me, and I'm like, if that's true, he only watches the touchdowns. He never watched you, like, waffle stomp your feces into the shower, drink.
- [38:10]
Matthew
You should have caught it because your.
- [38:12]
John Holmberg
Grandfather was there in the sky.
- [38:13]
Dale
Come on.
- [38:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [38:14]
Matthew
I like when you're going, thank God he's the one that gave us this victory. God took the over.
- [38:20]
John Holmberg
He had money on it. Yeah.
- [38:21]
Matthew
What about the other people?
- [38:22]
John Holmberg
But they never once, like, point up to the sky after they pull their thumb out of their ass and wipe their stomach off from an afternoon of horrible.
- [38:28]
Brady
Thank God he hit the parlay.
- [38:30]
John Holmberg
It was a. I. I always think, like, my grandparents Alvar and Isabelle are up there in heaven, and they got a TV of John. Yeah. And occasionally they turn it on and just shut it off.
- [38:40]
Matthew
Isabelle's like, it's on every channel.
- [38:42]
Brady
Where is his thumb?
- [38:43]
John Holmberg
We have to stop watching. I also think heaven is a scam, because if you could go anywhere in the universe at any time, you're gonna spend time watching me, why go back to the house you lived in?
- [38:54]
Matthew
But the Catholicism promise that I got as a kid, you know, my mother would say the prayer before we eat.
- [38:58]
Dale
Yeah.
- [38:59]
Matthew
One day we'll all be together in heaven. And I'm like, that's the reward.
- [39:02]
Brady
Yeah.
- [39:04]
John Holmberg
We're together now.
- [39:05]
Matthew
Eternity in a gated community with my relatives. This is what. I'm not having a hamburger on Friday to get there. What, are you kidding me?
- [39:13]
John Holmberg
That's exactly it. And it's scary to think that they can watch us if that. If people believe that. Well, I don't think anybody actually believes.
- [39:19]
Brady
I just think.
- [39:20]
Matthew
I just. I just thinking.
- [39:22]
John Holmberg
Let me.
- [39:22]
Matthew
Let me qualify this gentleman. Like, I've been wrong before.
- [39:24]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
- [39:25]
Brady
Yeah.
- [39:25]
Matthew
And it's felt just like this.
- [39:27]
John Holmberg
But.
- [39:29]
Matthew
It'S like, I just think we get past our ego.
- [39:31]
John Holmberg
That's the.
- [39:32]
Matthew
Oh, you know, like, that's what it is.
- [39:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [39:35]
Matthew
Be in the world, but not of the world. So you get your. You don't see your expectations through the filter of all the damage and stuff. Childhood. Look, I was. I was raised in a hot lz. It wasn't like my childhood was like I perished. It was gunfire. Occasional ordinance would go off, a lot of screaming, a lot of yellow.
- [39:54]
John Holmberg
You didn't See nothing.
- [39:55]
Dale
Yeah.
- [39:56]
John Holmberg
This happens everywhere.
- [39:57]
Brady
Yeah. Just like that.
- [39:58]
Matthew
I'm not yelling.
- [39:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [39:59]
Matthew
All the men in my family sound like this. All right.
- [40:05]
John Holmberg
Something, something. Check out H's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.comBerg's Morning Sickness 692nd is where Shador Sanders would rank on this list, and he is going to the Pro Bowl.
- [40:21]
Dale
Who are the. Who are the couple?
- [40:22]
John Holmberg
I didn't. I didn't see the guys. I can't. I can't imagine this. I. I bet you they've all had cardinal or jet helmets on at one point. I can't imagine. Like.
- [40:29]
Dale
Or brown helmet.
- [40:30]
John Holmberg
Like, Max hall probably had better numbers, I think. Seven touchdowns, 10 interceptions, 1100 yards. Absolutely garbage play. And he's going to the Pro bowl because they just. Nobody wants to go.
- [40:44]
Dale
No, but. But here's the thing, John, and it's.
- [40:47]
John Holmberg
That's like you getting a Pro bowl knock.
- [40:49]
Dale
I was closer than that.
- [40:51]
John Holmberg
You were.
- [40:52]
Dale
If they did long snappers back in the 90s, they did.
- [40:56]
John Holmberg
No, that dude for the Giants went every year. Same guy was every. That dude for the Giants was your nemesis. Every is the only long snapper anybody ever knew.
- [41:04]
Dale
That's the one thing that pisses me off about my career, is that they started inviting special teamers.
- [41:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [41:10]
Dale
In around 2002.
- [41:12]
John Holmberg
Doesn't that say something about you, though? Once you were out, they're like, now we can do it.
- [41:16]
Dale
No, it says a lot about me that I brought a spotlight to the.
- [41:20]
John Holmberg
Position that they were waiting.
- [41:21]
Dale
Let's talk about this. But I will tell you this. Marsh Tetmaski, our center in Dallas, he literally checked into it to say, hey, if I fly this dude over and put him up, can he snap for me in the Pro Bowl? Because he didn't want to.
- [41:35]
John Holmberg
He didn't want to go.
- [41:35]
Dale
No, no. He didn't want to do the long. He had to do long snapping.
- [41:39]
John Holmberg
Oh.
- [41:40]
Dale
And he's like, I suck at it, and I don't want to do it. And I said, well, I'll go if you pay my way.
- [41:49]
John Holmberg
Yeah. If you get everything figured out.
- [41:50]
Dale
It's against the rules.
- [41:52]
John Holmberg
You had to be. People wanted you. There is basically what needed to happen.
- [41:55]
Dale
No, it had to be an eligible position.
- [41:57]
John Holmberg
Right. And you had to get a bunch of people to agree that you could come. And they said no. That's essentially what you're saying. Am I wrong?
- [42:02]
Brady
And in 2002, they let the kids vote on who makes the Pro Bowl.
- [42:07]
Dale
Yeah.
- [42:07]
John Holmberg
Right after Dale retired, they're like, now we can Start letting spot. This is the time we can talk too much Dale.
- [42:12]
Dale
It'd be a decade of Dale.
- [42:15]
John Holmberg
It's not what I'm saying.
- [42:16]
Dale
Anti Pro Bowler.
- [42:18]
John Holmberg
How do they get rid of the Pro bowl, though?
- [42:19]
Dale
Well, that. Here's the thing, John. I don't know if you can. Because players don't want anything to do with it.
- [42:25]
John Holmberg
Nope.
- [42:26]
Dale
But guess what. There's going to be a few million people who go tune in and sponsors are going to pay money.
- [42:33]
Brady
Well, it's only takes less than a.
- [42:36]
John Holmberg
Million now to do a flag game. The other year.
- [42:39]
Dale
Yeah, they've done flags.
- [42:40]
John Holmberg
Is that still happening? The flag or they. How bad will it be when somebody like Shador Sanders blows their knee out in a flag football game?
- [42:48]
Dale
Wouldn't you rather have Sanders do it?
- [42:52]
John Holmberg
Then the Browns certainly wouldn't. Like there's a franchise that's like, nah, this is kind of bad. Like, I don't know that they're gonna stick with him, but he's currently their guy. Yeah.
- [43:00]
Dale
And yeah, I think it'd be okay.
- [43:04]
John Holmberg
They'd be okay if his knee blew up. You think so? There's certain times they're like, we got away from that. You're doing that because you hate Gabriel. It's her dad.
- [43:11]
Brady
It is. It's tainted.
- [43:13]
Dale
No.
- [43:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah. That opinion is tainted by the Sanders hate.
- [43:18]
Brady
Yeah. It doesn't help.
- [43:20]
John Holmberg
He's got nothing. You're happy to say that Dion's son blowing up during a flag football game. I'm not.
- [43:26]
Dale
I'm not casting a spurgeon on anybody. But. But I will say this. You know this, John. It's. It's all dollars and cents.
- [43:35]
John Holmberg
Sure.
- [43:36]
Dale
If they get 10 million people to tune into this nonsense.
- [43:39]
Brady
Making money, John.
- [43:40]
John Holmberg
Well, here's the thing though.
- [43:42]
Dale
It. Check it.
- [43:43]
John Holmberg
I know they had good ratings, but isn't it more just like to see what it is and then they go away? And the 10 million ratings was like three years ago, last year.
- [43:53]
Brady
And you're tapping in an audience of kids right now at that age that are playing flag football.
- [43:58]
John Holmberg
They're not targeting. Look, you know better than that. If they're targeting children's Little League, that is not good advertising.
- [44:04]
Brady
You got to keep that crowd in.
- [44:06]
John Holmberg
That's bad advertising.
- [44:07]
Dale
Then the kids go to the parents. Parents are addict sporting goods.
- [44:11]
John Holmberg
They don't. The kids will say something.
- [44:12]
Dale
As a person with no kids.
- [44:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [44:15]
Dale
You have no right.
- [44:15]
John Holmberg
I know. But as a person who understands business, you don't target the children. With the NFL, you can't say ratings. And we're getting the kids. There's no money there.
- [44:27]
Brady
Oh, I think they're going.
- [44:28]
John Holmberg
There's no money. They're getting after. Look, they got everybody. They're gonna get.
- [44:32]
Brady
What do you think Play 60 is all about?
- [44:34]
John Holmberg
Look, they're not. Yeah, it's to keep people involved in playing. And play 60 was also a scandal because the play 60 had nothing to do with them caring about getting kids interested in it was to say, look what we're doing for the future, for safety. They're liars either way. That's all they're doing. That's a lie. It had nothing to do with keeping people interested. It was to show we spent over $400 million to keep these kids straight. There's your ratings. Since their ratings have been horrible and last year it was 4.7 million and it was broadcast on three different things. They're not getting any ratings for it.
- [45:07]
Brady
But overall, on a show, if you're getting 4.7 million compared to the other.
- [45:11]
Dale
Most watched shows on that night.
- [45:13]
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, I'm just.
- [45:14]
Brady
I'm just pulling up.
- [45:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I'm not sure. But come on. 4 million is not huge. And it's also the week after we don't go down. Yeah. We don't have any more football.
- [45:22]
Dale
I think it's stupid, John. I'm not, I'm not. I'm actually arguing for it. I'm just saying the. The only reason they're doing it is there people who pay money to do that.
- [45:33]
John Holmberg
ESPN will handle it.
- [45:34]
Brady
I mean, it's like abc. It's just like, you know, the. Whatever they go with on the halftime for super bowl or, you know, the Taylor Swift fan.
- [45:42]
John Holmberg
But that's not for kids. That's for young.
- [45:44]
Brady
I know, but it's going after a different audience. But this definitely is appealing to the kids.
- [45:49]
John Holmberg
I mean, that doesn't look.
- [45:51]
Brady
Invested a lot of money in that flag football.
- [45:53]
John Holmberg
They haven't. They invested money to say they're being safe. They don't give money to flag football. They give money to say we're making it safe for the kids so they avoid lawsuits. It's a complete lie. Yeah. They're not throwing out. They. Oh, well, find a flag football league right now. And if they don't care and to say they do, but this is dumb.
- [46:11]
Dale
They deeply.
- [46:12]
John Holmberg
They don't care. Here's something. We should care. It's dumb and it can't go away.
- [46:16]
Dale
For a number of years. It was getting dumb when I was getting done playing.
- [46:21]
John Holmberg
When you were.
- [46:22]
Dale
When, when, When Aikman's eating a hot dog in the second quarter on the sideline. And. And literally two of his pro bowls, he. His flight left and ended during the game and the third quarter.
- [46:34]
John Holmberg
Now, can we get back into that a little bit? Did he cross any time boundaries where he landed and actually watched himself playing and confused himself into thinking he was still playing live in Japan like you did?
- [46:43]
Dale
I'm telling you, it did happen. Time travel, Johnny. Read a book. Read a book.
- [46:50]
John Holmberg
You might be because of that, the dumbest man I've ever been in a room with. He was playing in Japan.
- [46:56]
Dale
Yes.
- [46:57]
John Holmberg
Got on a flight. Yes. Landed here.
- [46:59]
Dale
Landed before it started here.
- [47:01]
John Holmberg
No, no. And on tv, dummy gets off and sees like that's on TV in Japan. Is that still going on?
- [47:10]
Dale
Yes. Oh, watch this. Yeah, I didn't even know what was happening. Throw a great block or a gate block.
- [47:17]
John Holmberg
But you thought you had traveled through time and space and that the.
- [47:21]
Brady
And only if you could have placed bets at the time.
- [47:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And you had to have it explained to you that there was a tape delay.
- [47:26]
Dale
Nobody's explaining it to you.
- [47:27]
John Holmberg
It doesn't make sense.
- [47:28]
Dale
Just like you read the book.
- [47:30]
John Holmberg
That's the only thing that makes sense. Yeah, because you tried to argue with me that they didn't have tape delay back in the 80s, right?
- [47:36]
Dale
There's no tape delay.
- [47:37]
John Holmberg
There was tape delay. We had I Love Lucy reruns. We. We had tape.
- [47:41]
Dale
No, I Love Lucy was still rolling back there.
- [47:44]
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. What's wrong with you? All right, never mind. Let's talk about something else. Yeah, I'm never going to do that. This was the athletic publication, broke down the rankings of the non playoff teams in the NFL. And 18th was a Detroit Lions. They were like the. They were the first ones to say this is the best non playoff team this year. Like they're the ones that are closest to being respectable out of all the 18.
- [48:13]
Dale
Before we get into that, can I just ask your opinion on the Mike McCarthy hire?
- [48:16]
John Holmberg
We'll get to that. Oh, I'm in the middle of something, Dale. This is a complete right turn.
- [48:20]
Dale
You lead us somewhere, I'm going down the road. Jesus Christ.
- [48:24]
John Holmberg
This is why I had to cover up that miserable podcast with him and Nash talking about hats.
- [48:28]
Dale
I listen to you for 30 minutes this morning. I want to slam into something.
- [48:31]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I know, because you can't read and it was confusing you. You shouldn't listen to the head. He talks. You still think you quarterback, so. No. Anyway, Detroit Lions were the. And then the Ravens and the Chiefs to the bottom ones.
- [48:41]
Dale
And then.
- [48:41]
John Holmberg
And then you get into the top. The top three teams that are the worst. They call it the ranking. The most miserable teams in the NFL. Raiders were third.
- [48:50]
Dale
I was going to say, do two of them still not have head coaches?
- [48:52]
John Holmberg
Yep. Raiders were third. That's one. Jets who were like, we're not getting in this. And the Arizona Cardinals were the ranked number one most miserable franchise of number one by the Athletic John.
- [49:05]
Dale
They've interviewed 18 people.
- [49:07]
John Holmberg
Ron Rivera is now on the list.
- [49:11]
Dale
He had three winning seasons, his last 10.
- [49:14]
John Holmberg
And the players wanted to kill him. Like they. Nobody liked him. There's something. Something. Check out Homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness. They're going down this road. And at first, crazy thing was they asked for a second interview from a guy who said, no, they're going down a road where that the dudes who have never been head coaches would get the opportunity of a lifetime are like, no way. And that's because they interviewed with the Cardinals and left going, I don't want to be there.
- [49:46]
Dale
And that's what interests me so much. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to listen. Is it actually these candidates interviewing the Cardinals?
- [49:56]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it is.
- [49:57]
Dale
Or the Cardinals interviewing the candidates?
- [50:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [50:00]
Dale
And again, are you going back to the Rams and you're talking to their head coach and going, no, there's better opportunities coming next year.
- [50:09]
John Holmberg
Take this job.
- [50:09]
Dale
Yes. It's career suicide. Well, what is 16?
- [50:13]
John Holmberg
16 interviews?
- [50:15]
Dale
It might be even more than that, because we haven't heard of. All right, but they're just coming.
- [50:19]
John Holmberg
We know of 15 with one coming.
- [50:21]
Dale
So what are the sticking points? Is it Kyler Murray? Because I have a feeling that's gonna be one of the main questions. What are you gonna do with Kyler Murray? Are you keeping them? Do we need to get him out of here? And then obviously money. Yeah.
- [50:33]
John Holmberg
I don't think they're paying ownership. Keep in mind, you're in January.
- [50:37]
Dale
Yes.
- [50:38]
John Holmberg
In Phoenix. And it's never been nicer. I've lived here for a thousand years. This is the nicest January I've ever been a part of. It's not even close. I've had the top off my car the whole month.
- [50:49]
Dale
Right.
- [50:49]
John Holmberg
And I'm not ever like, this is awful. It's perfect. So you land at the airport, you get in the car, and they're like, before we take you to the facility, let's just show you around a little bit.
- [51:00]
Dale
Here's Paradise Valley.
- [51:01]
John Holmberg
You go up Paradise Valley. It's a country club. This is my house right here. And you see this beautiful stuff, drive around. Yeah. No, you don't go. Maybe that's why we don't have a coach.
- [51:10]
Dale
Yeah.
- [51:10]
John Holmberg
This is John Holberg's house. And they're like, oh, I love that guy.
- [51:14]
Brady
Hey, it's not weird.
- [51:16]
John Holmberg
It's pretty cool, actually.
- [51:17]
Brady
No membership fee.
- [51:18]
John Holmberg
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