01-30-25 - BR - THU - Fun Facts On Sutter Family And Shakeys Pizza - There Are A Number Of Animal Weather Prognosticators In The US - Playing Guess The Race On Baloney Sandwich Assault And Toilet Theft Stories

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: January 30, 2025 - "Fun Facts On Sutter Family And Shakey's Pizza - There Are A Number Of Animal Weather Prognosticators In The US - Playing Guess The Race On Baloney Sandwich Assault And Toilet Theft Stories"

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Bret Vesely
• Dick Toledo

---

Introduction and Opening Banter

The episode kicks off with the hosts engaging in their signature humorous and irreverent banter. They discuss Tyler the Creator, Kirby’s collection, and the antics surrounding live events and concerts.

Notable Quote:

• Brady Bogen [00:35]: "The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail."

Brady Report: Morning News and Fun Facts

National Croissant Day and Fun Facts: John Holmberg introduces National Croissant Day, delving into the origins of the croissant's shape and its connections to the crescent moon emblem of Turkey's flag. He shares an intriguing fact about the Sutter family from Viking, Alberta, highlighting their impressive achievements in ice hockey and lottery winnings.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [02:15]: "Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National Croissant Day. You know why it's shaped like the crescent?"

Shakey's Pizza History: The hosts explore the history of Shakey's Pizza, founded by Sherwood Johnson, nicknamed "Shaky" due to nerve damage from malaria contracted during World War II. They humorously speculate on possible extensions of the brand, such as "Thriller's Pizza."

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [03:12]: "The Shakey's Pizza was founded by a guy named Sherwood Johnson. His nickname was Shaky because he got malaria during World War II, which left him with nerve damage and made him shake."

Animal Weather Prognosticators

Groundhog Day Predictions: The discussion shifts to Groundhog Day, where the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) evaluates the accuracy of various animal weather prognosticators across the U.S. The hosts analyze the performance of famous groundhogs like Punxsutawney Phil and Staten Island Chuck, alongside lesser-known predictors.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [04:50]: "Punxsutawney Phil came in at 17th. Wow, he's accurate 35% of the time."
• Brady Bogen [06:13]: "Number one is Staten Island Chuck out of New York. His accuracy—Gonna be cold for another six weeks, huh?"

Assaults and Theft Stories

Baloney Sandwich Assault: A segment covers the arrest of Aquavius Chandler in Wildwood, Florida, who assaulted his roommate with a baloney sandwich during a video game dispute. The discussion touches on his history of similar offenses.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [08:15]: "29-year-old Aquavius Chandler whipped the sandwich at his roommate while they were arguing about video games."

Toilet Theft Incident: Rod Wilburn, a 40-year-old from Tennessee, was arrested for stealing a toilet from a home. The hosts humorously speculate about the peculiar nature of the crime.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [10:54]: "40-year-old Rod Wilburn was caught allegedly breaking into a home last week and stealing a toilet."

Second-Degree Murder Case: Jimmy Nunnery faces serious charges for the murder of Brian York in Tennessee. The hosts engage in light-hearted speculation about his background and motivations.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [09:46]: "Jimmy Nunnery is facing second-degree murder. Officers found Brian York dead under bushes in Tennessee."

Twix Super Bowl Contest

The hosts discuss a unique contest launched by Twix during the Super Bowl, where participants engage in a virtual staring contest during commercial breaks for a chance to win gold bars worth $170,000. The humorous take highlights the absurdity and potential strategies to win.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [13:15]: "They want you to go to Twix.com on your phone during every commercial break and compete in a staring contest."
• Brady Bogen [13:57]: "So all I have to do is not watch the Super Bowl?"

Social Media Spotlight: Dangerous Sandwich Incident

Emily Bright's Viral Video: Instagram model Emily Bright shares a viral video of accidentally biting into the handle of a knife hidden within a sandwich in New Zealand. The discussion emphasizes the dangers of such mishaps and critiques the misleading appearance of the kitchen tool.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [14:34]: "Emily Bright posted a video claiming that she bought a wrap sandwich in New Zealand and it had a knife in it."

Viral Video Clips and Commentary

Bull Fighting in Mexico: A video showcases a bull fight in Mexico where a participant struggles unsuccessfully to control the bull, leading to a humorous and critical commentary from the hosts on the spectacle.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [16:58]: "There's a worker with a hard hat and an orange vest, and a truck is in front of him, kind of going slow, moving along. And here comes the steamroller."

Dorothy from Oz Park Melee: The hosts analyze a chaotic park altercation involving a person dressed as Dorothy from Oz engaging in a fight, blending pop culture with real-life violence.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [22:48]: "Dorothy from Oz is walking along in her dress and then gets mad at somebody as she walks past him and then punches a guy."

Concluding Remarks

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the day's stories and humorous observations, maintaining their characteristic blend of satire and commentary.

Notable Quote:

• Brady Bogen [25:52]: "I have heard enough of this."

---

Conclusion: In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, the hosts deliver a mix of humorous banter, intriguing fun facts, and unconventional news stories. From quirky Groundhog Day predictions to bizarre criminal incidents and viral social media mishaps, John, Brady, Bret, and Dick engage listeners with their unique perspectives and comedic flair. The lively discussions, punctuated with memorable quotes, ensure an entertaining and informative start to the day for their Arizona audience.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Getting a lot of videos of Tyler the creator right now. Brady. You might want to look into Kirby's collection. Evidently this dude does a little porn on the side as well. So Kirby's a big fan.

[John]

Who doesn't John though. You know.

[Brady]

Fact. You know. We came up with the idea for this Tyler the creator thing. Brady just drops Kirby and her friend off.

[Brett]

Don't wreck it now.

[Brady]

We go to. Oh yeah.

[Brett]

Do that.

[John]

It's a great idea.

[Brett]

Ronnie's listening.

[Brady]

She can't go. Brady and I go to the Rah Rah. Just sit it out while Kirby and her friends dance around inside the arena. Essentially all you need Brady to do is sit outside and sleep in the car and wait for her to come out. Right.

[Brett]

We just have to sleep through the show anyway.

[Brady]

Right? Nothing. Buy the ticket. Nothing bad's going to happen in the arena. Would be outside the arena. So you just wait for.

[John]

Right.

[Brady]

Do like my dad. I'm gonna be here at 9:00. If you're not here you're gonna get in big trouble. And I'd stand up there at 8:58 making sure he'd come back from wherever the hell he went. I'm pretty sure Dan was supposed to hang with me a few times and bailed. I got stuff I got to do. I'm gonna go to the office. You just sit at the stupid concert. You didn't want to go see any of the stuff I liked. What's a faster cat? Was it a Tom Jones tribute band? Exactly.

[John]

Enjoy that Linda Ford.

[Brady]

Motley Crue. They look like a bunch of ladies. Oh boy.

[Brett]

Figures.

[Brady]

Figures. The twink's gonna go watch some boys flit around on stage like a bunch of Hollywood bad at 7:59. Let's get right to it. It's the Brady report all the news that only Brady knows. And then we say, brady, report it.

[John]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National Croissant Day. You know why it's shaped like the Kashant?

[Brady]

Has that it's a half moon or crescent moon because it was created in Turkey.

[John]

And so this, like their flag? Yep. And the French stole it.

[Brett]

Now, you can never chance frogs.

[Brady]

No. Well, he's not wrong.

[John]

The Sutter family from Viking, Alberta, Canada. It's a basis. Fun fact here.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

Had seven boys. Six of them went on to be NHL players in the 70s and 80s. And the seventh won $10 million in the lottery.

[Brady]

Is that right?

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Wasn't one of them one of the St. Louis Blues? He was actually really good. There was a few of them that were really good, actually.

[John]

Women? Women blink more often than men. Women blink an average of 19 times per minute. Men 11 times. I've come in with the shirt before. It's a retro shirt. The Shakey's Pizza.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Was founded by a guy named Sherwood Johnson. His nickname was Shaky because he got malaria during World War II, which left him with nerve damage and made him shake.

[Brady]

It's like what we do with Thriller. We nicknamed him something funny and he made a lot out of it. Thriller should start a restaurant or a pizza parlor. Hello. Welcome to Thrillers Pizza.

[John]

Thriller's Griller.

[Brady]

You're going to get sued, kid. Until I do. Enjoy. Enjoy your pie.

[John]

No Point in Michigan is more than 85 miles from a great lake.

[Brady]

You're not going to deliver the pizza. It's going to take forever. Your order will be ready in 88 minutes.

[Dick Toledo]

Some of the pizza might slide off.

[Brady]

He doesn't shake. He's not shaky. He's Thriller. It's just the walk that's gonna take a while. He's dragging that foot behind him. He's totally steady. I trust him to carry stuff. I just don't trust that it's gonna get there on time. Domino's would have fired him. The first pizza, 30 minutes or less. That's impossible. It takes him that long to get in the car. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You have to come out to his car to get your pizza.

[Brady]

You have to just go to Domino's to get your pizza.

[John]

In honor of Groundhog Day, the no Double A. National oceanic and Atmospheric Administration put together some stats on the groundhogs from across the US to see who's been the most accurate over the past couple of.

[Brady]

Decades with this 5050 proposition.

[John]

I'll just tell you. Punxsutawney Phil came in at 17th. Wow, he's accurate 35% of the time.

[Brady]

Is it? We have a lizard up in like somewhere here that we do that.

[Dick Toledo]

17 animals that predict weather.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

We have. We have something here.

[John]

Nobody knows about what we do. Yeah, they didn't and didn't make the list.

[Brady]

Yeah, because it's dumb.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's always nice here. We don't care if there's more winter.

[John]

We want more winter coming in. At number 14, I won't go all the way up. But at 14th place with a 50% accuracy is poor Richard, a taxiderm groundhog out of Pennsylvania.

[Dick Toledo]

He's a dead one.

[Brady]

Yeah, they just. Does he see his shadow? No, he's dead.

[John]

There's a couple of taxiderm.

[Brady]

Dub, if you had a dead animal that couldn't see its shadow that shot one, always six more weeks of winter. You'd probably be right on the same pace as the guessing game that the real punks of Tony Phil does. Because it's a 50. 50. You're playing with chance here on the.

[John]

Top of the he. At number two, General Beauregard Lee out of Georgia. His accuracy is 80%.

[Brady]

Also a groundhog. Yes.

[John]

Number one is Staten Island Chuck out of New York. His accuracy.

[Brady]

Gonna be cold for another six weeks, huh? Hey, get your nips out. Thanks, Staten Island Chuck. No problem. Staten Island Chuck is just a really hairy dude that pokes his head out every once in a while. People think I'm a groundhog cuz I'm 5ft tall, covered in hair. Anyway, looks like your nips are gonna be stone hard until March.

[Brett]

So Pennsylvania's got two of them.

[Brady]

A dead one and a living one.

[John]

You got pencil, people?

[Brady]

Yeah. Well, Pittsburgh's fine.

[John]

The rest you've got Woodstock Willie out of Illinois. He's a 60. 60% accuracy. Buckeye Chuck out of Ohio, of course. 55%.

[Dick Toledo]

Buckeye Chuck.

[Brady]

Staten Island Chuck and Buckeye Chuck, if that's another groundhog. Are they.

[John]

Yeah, they're groundhog.

[Brady]

The groundhogs do anything else?

[John]

Concord Charlie out of West Virginia, 65%. Oh, we got another one out of Illinois, Gertie the groundhog. Gertie has a 65% accuracy.

[Brett]

So Pax Tony's not even that high up. And he's the famous one, right?

[Brady]

He's the first.

[Dick Toledo]

So do all these places just keep recycling the new one when the old one dies? There's ornaments or whatever.

[Brady]

What's the same thing as like college mascots like Ugga there's.

[John]

Yeah, there's like.

[Brady]

Yeah, we got a bunch of them. And then that buffalo up in Colorado, that Ralphie people.

[John]

Yeah, Bevo, the Texas Longhorn.

[Brady]

That's right. And then they eat him after every year if they don't win a national championship, that Bevo gets eaten. I don't know if that's true or not, but that's pretty, pretty good to do the mascot. If you don't, we gotta eat you. Holmberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. 28K repeating Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John]

Here's a dude in Wildwood, Florida got arrested on Sunday for assaulting his roommate with a baloney sandwich.

[Brett]

Christ.

[John]

29 year old Aquavius Chandler whipped the sandwich at his roommate while they were arguing about video games.

[Brady]

We're not even got a mug shot.

[Brett]

I'm not playing that waviest too easy.

[Brady]

You think we need. We need the game.

[John]

You can nail that Aquavius.

[Brady]

What's his friend's name? If it's Braden, we'll play. If it's. If it's also a identify Aquavius is pretty obvious. What?

[John]

But the guy told police he was trying to sleep and he took his PS5 back from Aquavius bedroom because he was being too loud. The sandwich hit him in the center of the chest. It didn't do any damage. But with a felony.

[Brady]

Okay, so it might be a white guy in his room because what a. Because this isn't a quavius his first rodeo throwing sandwiches.

[John]

He's been arrested multiple times for battery. Including two other attacks that also involved video games. He got upset sandwiches too? Nope. Got upset upset over a video game in 2022 and threatened a 60 year old man with a knife. Then a year later he pleaded no contest after choking out his own sister during a fight that involved gaming. Now he's got the fresh charges. There's 29 year old Aquavius. You got another guy? Jimmy Nunnery.

[Brady]

Now we can play. Now we can play.

[John]

Yeah. Jimmy Nunnery is facing second degree murder. Officers found Brian York dead under bushes. Where in Tennessee?

[Brady]

Ooh, this is a hard.

[John]

They say his injuries were consistent with an assault.

[Dick Toledo]

Eastern Tennessee or western?

[Brady]

Yeah. Where are we looking?

[John]

Springfield. Let's see. Jimmy Nunnery in Tennessee. It didn't say the town.

[Brady]

This is a white crime.

[Brett]

I'm going hillbilly.

[Brady]

I would go white on this one.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm going the other way, Bob.

[Brady]

You think so?

[Dick Toledo]

Got to be anti.

[Brady]

Yeah, you got to. Somebody's got to guess the opposite.

[John]

Jimmy Nunnery.

[Brady]

Jimmy Nunnery is Crusty the clown. He's crusty the Clown. He's as white as can be. He's got Crusty the Clown's hair.

[Dick Toledo]

That wasn't what I was thinking about.

[Brady]

It looks like if Carrot Top was a man.

[Dick Toledo]

That looks like Sammy Hagar.

[Brady]

Sammy Hagar. Top. If Sammy Hagar was a prop comic.

[John]

Wow.

[Brady]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. We win, Brett. By a lot.

[John]

Last perp.

[Brady]

That's the most crackerish cracker I've ever seen.

[John]

This is another one in Tennessee. 40 year old Rod Wilburn.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

Was caught allegedly breaking into a home last week and stealing a toilet.

[Dick Toledo]

White guy.

[Brett]

That's white guy.

[John]

Yeah. If you're wondering if the seat was up or down, the answer is neither. No, the crapper was still in the box.

[Brady]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

White guy.

[Brady]

Yeah. It's a white guy.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

He started. He realized he was busted because he was dragging it out of the house in the yard and he put it back. And that's where he got arrested. Trying to put it back.

[Brady]

Like he didn't.

[Dick Toledo]

He's white guys put things back.

[Brett]

Furious would have knocked the hell out of Trey for stealing a toilet.

[Brady]

Exactly. And first off, that was racist. No. White guys put things back. That's not stealing. That. Is it? You shut your eyes.

[Brett]

I didn't even say that.

[Brady]

Put things back. Idiot. He was probably bartering with somebody for Tyler the Creator tickets.

[John]

Here we go, you bigots.

[Brady]

He's black. We were way wrong. Sorry. White people.

[Dick Toledo]

I apologize.

[Brady]

The struggle continues. All these false thoughts. I would have never guessed this. This. You've showed me a picture of him and said he just committed a crime with a toilet. What was it? Wasn't stealing.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow, John the Navajos. Look at the moon. If there's a ring around it, it means a few more weeks of cold. So we don't need no animals.

[Brady]

I have Ian Schwartz. He tells me what it's going to be like every day for the next seven days. Yeah, he's got a ring around.

[Dick Toledo]

Accuracy.

[Brady]

Not. Not great.

[Brett]

As good as Ponxutaway?

[Brady]

It's probably. Yeah, they use science. At least. I mean, it is what it is as a novelty for a party to get drunk in the middle of February. Fine.

[John]

Ian says if he's wearing more than two rings, it is a couple weeks of winners.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

How many laps are we taking?

[Brady]

He's loving his own stuff over there. Listen. Look at him snorting and giggling. I made a searing joke about a.

[John]

Weatherman that probably owns one. You might want to get in on this, John. You're a big fan.

[Brett]

Twix the earrings.

[John]

Twix candy bar.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

They've announced a contest that's running during super bowl where they want you to go to Twix.com on your phone during every commercial break and compete in a staring contest. The screen will have two gold bars on it with an eye on each one, which apparently belong to the hip hop duo the Yin Yang Twins. They keep track of how long you stare and how many ad breaks you participate. The higher you score, the more contest entries you'll receive. And at the end of it, one winner will receive two actual gold bars worth $170,000.

[Brady]

So all I have to do is not watch the Super Bowl?

[Brett]

It's kind of Brilliant.

[Brady]

Go to twix.com super [e-mail]. yep, I'm writing that down. I'm going to do this. And when is it like you start? Immediately.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

John, don't.

[John]

Or you could stare.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you have to stare at again?

[John]

There's two gold bars. Two gold bars? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And not look at the commercials.

[John]

Right. Instead of looking at the commercials, you go to Twix.com for four hours.

[Brett]

No, no, just during commercial.

[John]

Every commercial break.

[Brady]

Gotcha.

[John]

Then we got a Tick Tock influencer. Tick Tock. And Instagram model Emily Bright, she posted a video claiming that she bought a wrap sandwich in New Zealand and it had a knife in it. So she took a couple of bites and then bit into something hard. It was an orange handle. She thought it was a carrot. It was the handle of the knife. It's going viral. You can take a look at her. But I think, you know, this is a smart move, trying to get more.

[Brady]

Yeah, smart to bite into the handle of a knife, you morn. I could feel that in the sandwich. By the way, there's a reason Scott Haynes is known as our funniest listener. Ian Schwartz does have a burrowing rodent that helps with weather. It's funny because it's true. That's terrible. Sorry, Ian. I read it. I didn't think it, but I did think it was funny. What if Channel 3 did that? Ian Schwartz, Groundhog Day. Where is he? Why is he doing that?

[John]

What's Jerry have to say?

[Brady]

What's coming out of Ian?

[John]

Here's the Instagram model.

[Brady]

It's got an. Oh, it's not a very big knife. I expected, like, a real big knife.

[John]

Yeah, it does look like a carrot.

[Brady]

It does. I would not have. That's, like, the smallest knife ever. What's its function? Does it. Well, no, it's pretty big. Okay, so it's just a very tip of the hand.

[Brett]

It's like a paring knife.

[Brady]

Yeah. Okay. When you see it in the sandwich, it does look really little. She took it out and now it's. Yeah. Wow. That's dangerous. Especially if you started on the other side of that wrap. You're gonna eat the blade end of that thing first. Ugh. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John]

Got a couple of radio videos. First one's a little bull fighting.

[Brady]

All right, we're down there in old Mexico again with the 20 people in a ring with a bull and a guy who's not very good at riding it. He is getting spun. The clown's getting close.

[John]

Look at that. 20ft and just drag him off.

[Brady]

He flew him in the air 20ft. That's a good dismount.

[John]

There is one. I saw that. I'm not even showing it.

[Brady]

I mean, just a guy gets tortured.

[John]

Oh, he can't get off the bull. The bull keeps going. No one can stop the bull.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

It's just mashed.

[Brady]

It's too much. I love this. I saw this.

[Brett]

This one too.

[Brady]

I want. I want this to happen at every.

[John]

And I think one of these places. Sturgeon fish.

[Brady]

Is it?

[John]

Yes.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John]

But because I saw the.

[Brady]

This is your dream tank. This is like a porn to you. It's a. It's one of those restaurant tanks where they have a real live mermaid in there and like some real fish and a sturge. A good sized fish goes by the mermaid in the head when she skates out of there. That's what you get for pretending to be fish food, dumbass.

[Dick Toledo]

With a sturgeon that's bigger than you.

[Brady]

Are, dressed like they're food and then expect them not to react. What the hell is this? You got the. You put that. You put that mermaid costume on and get in with the fish. I say it's like dressing like a zebra and hanging out with lions. What are you doing? What does this eat other fish?

[John]

Okay, Put the fins on me. I'm going in. Last one is wart man.

[Brady]

Oh, God.

[John]

Layered I've ever seen.

[Brady]

He's got warts. He's not wearing a shirt. I thought he had a shirt on. That's warts.

[John]

That's his.

[Dick Toledo]

Hang on.

[Brady]

This dude is toes to tip my family. He's growing a mustache because he can't shave. I've never seen anything like this. He looks like crunch berries been poured all over his body. What do you do there?

[Dick Toledo]

Fire?

[Brady]

Yeah, just fire. You fire. I'm with You. Oh, my God. Why even shop? Just don't wear anything. It's everywhere. It's. It's. There isn't a space on his body that doesn't have a little pink bubble on it. That is. That. He looks like. He also looks like something. I kind of want to bite that because it looks like crumbles.

[John]

Yeah, Crumbles I'm seeing.

[Brady]

Kind of looks like a cake. I would.

[John]

Potatoes.

[Brady]

Yeah. Huh?

[John]

Little baby fingerling potatoes.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you just say cake you would eat?

[Brady]

If that was. If. If I didn't see.

[Brett]

It's like a crumble cake or something.

[Brady]

Yeah. If somebody cut his head off and put it on a thing and said, we made head cake, I would try to. I'm like, oh, my God. This isn't crumble cake. This is wart head. It's so consistent. It looks like it's a. Like a thing.

[Brett]

Sounds like a band KDKB would play. Crumble ward cake.

[Brady]

Ward cake?

[Brett]

No, head cake.

[Brady]

Oh, head cake. Oh, head cake for sure. Cake by the ocean. Yeah, there's a. Head cake's a good band name. That's a good one. Wart cake. Not so much. Head cake. Yes. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brett]

All right, we're. We're mild today, okay. But here's a. Think your dad would appreciate this one. Safety at the job site is job number one.

[Brady]

We're looking at a surveillance camera guy standing in a road. There's a worker with a hard hat and an orange vest, and a truck is in front of him, kind of going slow, moving along. And here comes the steamroller.

[John]

Yeah, you're right. That's back over helmet.

[Brady]

The helmet fell off and did nothing.

[John]

Yeah, it's not spicy.

[Brady]

His last words were, the helmet does nothing. That helmet ran from the. The helmet left the scene.

[Brett]

A little cell phone action here.

[Brady]

Guys. In a cell phone store. He's leaning up against the counter getting help from a guy. There's another guy on the other side of the counter behind the counter. He looks at cell phone. He seems pleased. He's gonna buy that with a gun. And before he can draw the gun, guy behind the counter shoots him in the tummy. He's still holding his gun. You gotta put another one in him.

[John]

That's got him.

[Brady]

He's all done. Oh, and then a gay guy comes out and does that vapors thing with his hand on his chest. What happened again? Oh, my God. I'll get him up. Wow. He puts a bullet right in his gut.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

What would happen next?

[Brett]

There's an old man handing out some.

[John]

Justice because he was going for the gun.

[Brady]

Who's reaching for the. Yeah.

[John]

So you can he.

[Brady]

Probably. Absolutely. To protect yourself, you felt threatened if he's got a gun. But again, make sure he's not telling a story if you're gonna pull that. Because if that guy's like. I was. I was just scratching my tummy. And there's a concealed carrier. You can't just shoot somebody to have a gun.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Here's another robbery video.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

More surveillance.

[Brady]

The guy in some sort of a small, very small bodega, like a convenience.

[Brett]

Store, like, behind the counter.

[Brady]

And there's a guy who looks like exhibit. And he is about to fight Tyler, the creator. Okay. He's a guy who's about to fight another dude who looks like Hanukkah Harry. And I don't know where the fight's coming. They're arguing where he's got Hanukkah Harry by the head. And now exhibits fighting. Hanukkah takes the first. Oh, his arms bleeding. Did he just bite him?

[Brett]

No, he pulled a knife on.

[Brady]

Oh, he's stabbing. No, stabbing's the worst thing.

[John]

Got him in the neck.

[Brady]

Stabbing's the worst thing in the world.

[John]

Got the robber.

[Brady]

Oh, my God. No, I think. I think the other way around. No.

[John]

Oh, it was.

[Brett]

He's got.

[Brady]

Hanukkah wins with the knife. He cut his own arm.

[Dick Toledo]

But Hanukkah was a nom.

[Brady]

Look at. Oh, yeah, he's definitely. He's got.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, he just had a flashback.

[Brady]

He's got some quick reaction time based on the past. Wow.

[Brett]

All right, sorry.

[Brady]

Let's start.

[Brett]

I forgot to watch this one.

[Brady]

This. I didn't realize this. It looks like Dorothy from Oz is walking along in her dress and then gets mad at somebody as she walks past him and then punches a guy and. Oh, that's a girl. Knocks her down. She goes to fight Dorothy. Now we're in a full on park scrum. Dorothy from Oz punching what looks like bad Bobby right in the face. And then she is out. Melee. Dorothy can throw blows. There's a girl in a skirt just kicking the crap out of bad Barbie.

[John]

But not heavy hands.

[Brady]

No, heavy hands don't exist here. Just a lot of light, like, you know, feather duster punches. They look good, but they're not landing with any sort of accuracy or power. Or the other girl's got a great chin. We can't tell. But Dorothy can throw. Anybody in that dress that fights, you walk the other way. Yeah, evidently, that's A tough look. All right.

[Brett]

And we'll end with this one, man. Little shopping bras.

[Brady]

We're looking at some bras. Blue and white bras with panties.

[John]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

Now we're over in the produce department grabbing an eggplant and a cucumber. She's now in the dressing room with a cucumber. She's taking her panties. She's in the dressing room. And it says, I'm going to do dirty things with the cucumbers.

[John]

Take a pickle.

[Brady]

Yeah, she's going to pickle it. She said. And then I think I'll put them back. Let's just. There she is with the cucumber produce. Cucumber. It's getting the job done. It's. Now she's smelling it. Oh, she doesn't like the way it smells. And then she spit on it and licked it. She didn't like. Oh, because it's in her butt. She put it in her butt and then she smelled it and made a face. She admits she doesn't. She's got a bad stink. She's not putting the same one back. She's making this up. No, she's. She's now, to her credit, she's cleaning it off. Oh, she smells it again, not happy with her own stink. It smells like ass. She says. That's the subtitle. And then she laughs because she looks like Amy Schumer.

[John]

And she's gonna put it back in the.

[Brady]

It's gonna pretend. Put it back.

[John]

Give someone the duke.

[Brady]

She's not really doing this or she's going to jail for the rest of her life. Unforg.

[John]

Yeah, I'm not buying.

[Brady]

I don't buy that it's the same cucumber because. Oh, now she's gonna take a zucchini.

[John]

This is long.

[Brady]

Yeah. Not gonna tell you. That's interest.

[Brett]

Pretty much kind of ends her.

[Brady]

Yeah. When she's wearing a mask. So did this happen during COVID She said, I still can't believe I did that.

[Dick Toledo]

Whatever.

[Brady]

Just left that cucumber there. Well, then you're gonna go to jail for a long time. I hope it's real for your sake. But the mask tells me.

[Dick Toledo]

Dressing room.

[John]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

There's those super Targets and stuff. And Walmart.

[John]

That's foreign country there.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's right. Well, they do things different over there.

[John]

They do. That's how they put their produce in.

[Brady]

That's right. That's how you know it's fresh.

[Brett]

She needs to clean herself up. Apparently, though, if it survives.

[Brady]

Ladies do that test today. With your own hands. Give yourself a smell. If your face goes immediately. Yeah, maybe don't videotape that. Yeah, A little Lou May for you. Loads of Lume. Good God, the world sucks. There you go. That was your Brady report. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fees.

[Brady]

I have heard enough of this.