01-30-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: January 30, 2025

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Dale Hellestray, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Air Time: Weekdays, 5:30 AM - 10:00 AM
Station: 98 KUPD (97.9 FM)

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1. Welcome and Opening Banter

The episode kicks off with host John Holmberg welcoming listeners to another lively Thursday edition of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness." John humorously introduces his co-hosts—Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—highlighting Brady's recent experience in the exclusive "Rah Rah Room."

Notable Quote:
John Holmberg [00:43]: "Brady's fresh off his rah rah room experience. He's covered in the blood of a man who no longer has a rah rah room cherry."

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2. The "Rah Rah Room" Experience

Dale Hellestray and Dick Toledo delve into Brady's visit to the enigmatic Rah Rah Room, painting it as a high-end venue laden with NDAs and guarded secrets. They discuss the exclusivity of the place, the anonymity of its wealthy patrons, and the staff's inability to divulge any activities within.

Notable Quote:
Dale Hellestray [06:07]: "Technically, you could kill someone in the Rah Rah room and no one can tell."

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3. Swipe Texting Challenges

The conversation shifts to modern technology, specifically the complexities of swipe texting. Dale shares his struggles teaching Brady this new texting method, comparing it humorously to trying to teach a dog to spell.

Notable Quote:
Brady Bogan [12:42]: "I just found out yesterday a new way of texting. I'm fascinated."

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4. Scorpions in the Toilet: A Comedic Fear

A humorous segment unfolds as Dale describes an exaggerated fear of scorpions invading his bathroom. The hosts joke about scorpions navigating toilet water, leading to playful banter about personal hygiene and home safety.

Notable Quote:
Dale Hellestray [46:02]: "I have a flight later today, and I feel very safe now that this many people have crashed the day before I fly."

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5. Aircraft Collision Conspiracy Theories

The hosts engage in a spirited discussion about a recent plane crash involving a Blackhawk helicopter and an American Airlines jet over the Potomac River. They explore various conspiracy theories, including potential sabotage and technological failures, adding a layer of intrigue and humor to the conversation.

Notable Quote:
Dale Hellestray [23:05]: "A Blackhawk helicopter is, from what I've been told by pilots, about as technologically advanced as anything you can imagine."

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6. Groundhog Day Predictions and Weather Talk

Celebrating National Croissant Day transitions into a segment on Groundhog Day predictions. The hosts review various groundhogs' accuracy rates, comparing local groundhogs to famous ones like Punxsutawney Phil, and share amusing takes on weather prediction traditions.

Notable Quote:
Toledo [95:12]: "Punxsutawney Phil came in at 17th. He's accurate 35% of the time."

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7. Tribute to Comedian Ken Flores

A somber moment arises as the hosts mourn the unexpected passing of comedian Ken Flores at the age of 28. They reflect on his vibrant energy, premature death due to a heart attack, and the impact of his loss on the local comedy scene.

Notable Quote:
Dale Hellestray [117:13]: "He was a Fun dude, but 28 years old. Passed away at 28. So that's extra credit."

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8. Sports Discussions: Phoenix Suns Frustrations

The conversation pivots to sports, with a particular focus on the Phoenix Suns. Dale expresses his disappointment with the team's performance, critiquing their competitiveness and leadership. The hosts share personal anecdotes and frustrations, highlighting the passionate sports culture.

Notable Quote:
Dale Hellestray [149:03]: "The Suns are the worst thing in the world to watch, and I've said it for years, they got to trade everybody."

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9. Listener Interactions and Relationship Jokes

Throughout the show, the hosts engage in playful teasing about personal relationships and dating scenarios. They joke about attending concerts, dealing with teenage daughters, and navigating social situations, adding a relatable and humorous touch to the broadcast.

Notable Quote:
Dale Hellestray [167:03]: "If you're wondering if the seat was up or down, the answer is neither."

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10. Closing Remarks and Promotions

As the show nears its end, the hosts promote upcoming events and sponsor segments. Dale introduces Prestige Billiards as a new sponsor, while Brady invites listeners to join him at EOS Fitness. The episode concludes with a mix of humor and camaraderie, reinforcing the show's entertaining and engaging atmosphere.

Notable Quote:
Dale Hellestray [128:34]: "Prestige Billiards brings you Dale Hellstray, so don't blame us. Play Meathead up at Prestige Billiards while you're getting all your toys."

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Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" seamlessly blends humor, banter, and engaging discussions on a variety of topics—from exclusive club experiences and technological hiccups to somber tributes and sports frustrations. The hosts' chemistry and witty exchanges create an entertaining listening experience, while notable quotes punctuate the lively conversations, ensuring both regular listeners and newcomers find the show enjoyable and relatable.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellestray]

Let's do it. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday already. It is the morning sickness. How are you? My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. Off we go for another glorious day here in paradise. And Brady's fresh off his rah rah room experience. He's covered in the blood of a man who no longer has a rah rah room cherry. Good for you, kid. Brady is a rah rah room veteran now.

[E]

We get a full report here. What's going on?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, we should get a full review.

[Toledo]

Not worthy.

[Dale Hellestray]

A full review of Brady's rah rah room experience starts now. Go.

[Toledo]

It was outstanding.

[Dale Hellestray]

Told you. It's ridiculous how many stars.

[Toledo]

You're greeted by at least eight people before you get to the door.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's the greatest part.

[Toledo]

How are you? There's a handshake outside of the store. Stadium. Welcome, guys. Glad you're here.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, bunches of them. And then somebody walks through the door. Yeah, I've been. I've been through it a few times, but it always amazes. It's just one of those things. Just, you know, you get somebody, you know who's got one of these things, you got to get in there. I told the, the guy who sends us the list of band names, he keeps track of them all year and then sends us at the end of the year. All the times we said, that's a good band name. Told him I'd take him. I think his name's Devin. I said, I'll take you later. That he, he's chomping at the bit. Got the email and said, oh, if you're gonna take Brady, you should take me at least. And I'm like, you know what? I did say I would. So I've gotta. I've got him lined up. I'm taking strangers. So Brady's been scratched off the riff raff list. Brett, you're close. I'm working on your special occasion, and I just don't know what else to do about Toledo or. I mean, what special occasions. Like, I don't know, Brady announces national.

[E]

Bread Day or something.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Alex covers his rent, which is due in a couple of days. Yeah, I just. I mean, the man eats Salisbury steak. Why take him in for this glorious meal? That's satisfaction to him.

[Toledo]

Will he appreciate the wagyu tartar?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes, exactly. Brady. Can. Can the riff raff appreciate the tartar? It is a bougie cool place. Yeah, everybody. The staff is awesome. It's fun.

[Toledo]

You walk into Hollywood.

[E]

Nice. Now the question is.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[E]

Who's a better guest, Brady or Dale?

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, well. Well, Brady don't listen. Okay. Yeah. Hey, Brady, there's someone in the. I think your car's getting towed. You should run outside real quick and check. I'll say only. Well, gosh, it was. Both were enjoyable.

[E]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

As guests, this is kind of like I feel like I'm on Love Connection right now. And if I pick one, well, we won't pay for it. No, no, no. It was Brady's birthday presentation. We went on a night that was wildly busy, which has not happened. Like it was even getting in. They kept telling us, probably not gonna get him. Like, really? And then they were nice enough, but we just kind of snuck in and sat at the bar. But, geez, who was a better guy? Who would I go? Yes. It's hard to say because this was a. This was a treat for Brady, and Dale was very fast to kick in with his credit card. So when you're looking at it from that perspective, I mean, Brady cost monetary. Brady cost me a fortune.

[E]

So is Brady needed a redo then, you know.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, yeah, like, not a special occasion one. And I just don't know if that's going to happen. Let's. Dale's a bigger fan of the suns, so he gets talking about the suns more. Brady and I have known each other longer, so we have more talking points to go back and forth with. Brady's intentionally funnier than Dale. Dale's accidentally funnier than Brady. I'm gonna go ahead and say, ooh, this is hard. Brett, that's a tough question. I'm gonna give the nod right now to Brady. For real. That's right. Brady is the. Brady is the better guest. Better date. Although both would be dateable again, I would Take Brady, because there was less complaining, and Brady walks faster, so Brady is in. All right.

[Toledo]

I can stand longer maybe, And Brady.

[Dale Hellestray]

Can hang out in my. I've got. I've carved out a little niche for myself, the sommelier and some of the people I've gotten to know down there kind of make me happy in a corner that I've, like a cliff and norm spot.

[E]

Okay. All right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. So I think I'll go with Brady. Because Brady could stand up. Dale had to sit down all the time. I'm going with Brady. All right. Brady is the better guest.

[E]

Congratulations, Brady.

[Dale Hellestray]

The more favorable Rah Rah room companion. Ah, the Rah Rah room. The bougie place.

[Toledo]

And on your way to the seats, you walk down the hallway and you go by two or three other bougie places.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, yeah. There's a bunch of stuff under the arena, but Rah Rah room bougie. But there's, like, club access to. The next one is. Yeah, that was pretty bougie. They got a lot of, like, underground stuff going on.

[E]

If that's got a club down there or something or.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, two clubs.

[E]

Oh, no kidding.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, one big, like, huge club, and then two food and drink hangouts.

[E]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Now I'm curious about. At the end of the night, Ishbia comes in.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Shakes hands with a couple of people real quick. And then Beeline gets out back room. And I'm curious. There's some kind of sweet back room setup.

[Dale Hellestray]

There is. What we found out last night, though, was phenomenal. And I didn't know this. This is amazing. Technically, you could kill someone in the rah Rah room and no one can tell. Yeah, we were. We were told by one of the staff members that the entire staff. And I don't know if this is part of it. We didn't sign anything. Is they have to sign an NDA to not talk about who was in there and what they were doing. So basically what it is is really wealthy people who are in the Rah Rah room want anonymity for the horrible things they're doing inside of there from the staff. So the staff can't go on Instagram and go, I saw Brady Bogan last night sucking on John's toes. You know, they can't tell the tales of the things they've seen. Or if you go in there with a hooker, nobody can rat you out. Nobody can film it.

[E]

My kind of place.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, it's very. And there's pictures of Sinatra on the wall. It's very Much. Your kind of place someday, Brit.

[Toledo]

Piles of cocaine everywhere.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that's what. Like, if somebody started doing bumps off your wang, the staff can't do a thing about it.

[E]

It's like Studio 54 back in the day. It's just kind of like it's exclusive. Out of sight, out of mind.

[Dale Hellestray]

Kind of feels like when she told us that, we both were like, why would you need that? And then you realize there's billionaires in there sometimes and you don't know who they're with. Some hooker, some. Some like. I don't know if it's. I felt very Epstein about the whole thing after she said that. And it made me like it even more when I. When I found out about that. I'm like, oh, boy.

[E]

Any of the players ever roll through?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I' yeah, the players roll through. The last time when I was in there with Kevin Ray, last time, the player that rolled through was Mason Plumlee. That doesn't count. In two games, he has two points more than me, so. Screw you, Mason Plumlee. You drive me nuts. Yeah, that's pretty neat, though. But I'm glad Brady enjoyed it. It was a birthday extravaganza for him. Said, do they have a cuck chair, John in the Rahra room? Then you could take to lead, or you can just sit down and watch everybody have a good time. That's a good idea, writer. That's true. This is Alex. Paying his rent's the only way Toledo can even reach for his wallet in there. Otherwise he won't have it. That's the thing. It's like Toledo's got a lot of bills to pay for other people. I don't see him diving deep into the capital one card, you know, but that was it.

[Toledo]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, life change, changer loan. Oh, yeah, he's got. He's. He's got good credit because of his. His lady. He showed up on that one. He's got a lot on his plate. He is on. Yeah, he did the life change alone thing, so his credit's good. So. And that means you gotta.

[Toledo]

You might have some of that fantasy football cash.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, that's right. He has never paid anybody for one of those fantasy football scam leads he runs every year. And maybe Toledo is kind of a good one. You know what? Maybe he can go in there and reveal his secrets to the staff about his fantasy football misgivings. It's almost like having a therapist. They can't even. They can't tell on you unless you Commit a terrible crime. Yeah. You can admit to anything. I told that I believe her name is Susan. I told the waitress that you and I were going to do it right there in the bathroom. And she goes, well, go ahead. Like we can have a salacious, fiery gay relationship down under here and you can't talk about it. I can do it right. Yep. Sign papers. Like that's amazing. That makes it cool. Yeah. Very Italian moment. That. Very mommy. It's like we're gonna kill somebody. Yeah, well, we're going to kill somebody. And we did kill somebody. Both have to be. Well, one has to be reported, the other is questionable. And like if that. If we said we're going to kill Toledo, like okay. And we. And then Toledo turns up dead, then I think the, the NDA doesn't apply. Pretty cool. And I wonder, NDA or what? You just lose your job. Like what would be the payback? Like because NDA I would think NDAs usually include.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Is it more expensive than just losing your job?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I would think you get knocked down with some money too. Anyway, it's awesome. And Brady got his birthday present last night. A little taste.

[E]

Should have took him to the Boom Boom Room afterwards.

[Dale Hellestray]

I was thinking about that and then you screwed me up because I didn't realize we were. We got there, we drank. I drank a lot, but not like kind of slow pace drinking. We stayed for the first half. We were down there being what we watched the third quarter and a little bit of the fourth from the seats. Spent most of the time in the room and I was drinking the whole time. And I've been on my new schedule of staying up all night and stuff. I went back to the H and H Ranch across the street just to grab my keys. Really sat on the couch, started to watch an old game show and the next thing you know it was 3:30 in the morning. I'm like ha. Brady put me back on sleeping at night. I fell asleep at like 11:15. It was like, no.

[Brady Bogan]

This is what I've been fighting.

[Dale Hellestray]

2025 has been the year of no alarm clocks at all.

[Toledo]

Bad series of pressure luck.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, Pressure luck's over at 10. I didn't get in for that. Body Language and Blockbusters. Body Language with Jill Whelan and Larry Dallas from three companies. Richard Klein. Body Language wasn't on very long. It's basically charades. Not very good and. But that's two in a row on the Buzzer Network. And then they show blockbusters and then it gets into some silly old stuff and I usually flip out then, but I like the old game shows. Started watching some body language and you remember Jill Whelan from Love Boat?

[E]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

She was the one who ruined it at the end there. She was Captain Stubing's daughter. And then she got older. Yeah. Anyway, she was on there and C. She was a C last captain.

[Brady Bogan]

She was.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, she was gross. Yeah. Nobody wanted to see her. And then next thing you know, TV's on and I'm like, huh? Like, God damn it, Brady, you slow drank me into sleeping at night again.

[Toledo]

That GHB drug kick in lake.

[Dale Hellestray]

It was. Yeah, your Spanish fly. And my. My toes were pruny and. And I had Cheeto fingers. What. What the hell happened last night?

[Toledo]

Incredible night last night.

[Dale Hellestray]

Fred there and on the fridge, written in Cheeto dust was I love you. And I'm like, oh, Brady raped me. And nobody at the rah rah room could say anything.

[Toledo]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, it was not good, but, yeah, I slept. Damn you. And I don't like that at all. I'm doing my best to keep that. This new schedule has been phenomenal. Fantastic. Something else great happened yesterday, and I showed Brady some other. Some people out there. You're about to roll your eyes, but deal with it. I just found out yesterday a new way of texting. I'm fascinated.

[Toledo]

And I haven't cracked a code, and.

[Dale Hellestray]

He can't figure it out. You never have to lift your finger off the keyboard.

[E]

Oh, the swiping.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that's.

[E]

That's the only way Matthia text.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's crazy.

[E]

And I don't understand it because she's, like, playing connect the dots.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, you just slide your finger. You just.

[Toledo]

It's like a Ouija board.

[Dale Hellestray]

It is like a Ouija board. And it's so fast.

[E]

Yeah, she could text faster than I can. Just doing the buttons.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I'm very fast just pumping the buttons out. But that's like a typewriter compared to, like a computer. And now I'm down. I was showing Brady last night, and it was. It was sad.

[E]

You were the two old guys sitting there going, wow, look at this.

[Dale Hellestray]

And then I showed. There was a lady that was standing behind us, and I said, did you know about this? Jay and Josh up at Tactical Black yesterday were showing me that. Jay's like, you. You know, his wife was thumb. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam with all the letters. And then he goes, is that. And I'm like, I don't even know another option. He goes, you don't know about the swiping. I'm like, no. And he shows me. And I tried to show Brady and it was like trying to teach a dog to spell. Just a mess. Then I grabbed his phone to see.

[Toledo]

First time I did, I got three words and then, then I never got it back. But I'm lifting my thumb, I think.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, you gotta stop. Yeah, you keep your finger on the screen the whole time. I had no idea. I had no idea. And you can't do it either now.

[E]

I tried it and she, she just zings through. She could write, she could write War and peace in 10 minutes. And me and I'm screwing everything up.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's gibberish. I texted Jay and Josh last night just to say thank you and then just get words in. Try it if you don't know. But if you do know about it, just ignore us for a second if you didn't know about it. It's. It's the most eye opening thing everybody's gonna try again.

[E]

We're the old guys over here trying to do swipe texting.

[Dale Hellestray]

I just watched his eyes go, oh.

[Brady Bogan]

Boy, here we go.

[Dale Hellestray]

Gotta give it another run. Swipe texting. And you know what's crazy? Yeah. And that's the thing. We both were texting challenge. I found out when I had Brady's phone in my hand that he doesn't say the F word ever. Cuz duck came up every time. I'm like, what? The duck is going on? And I'm just whipping and it. And it corrects.

[E]

There was one time I actually meant to type duck and it came up the other one and I'm like, wait, no, no, I had to keep correcting.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, that's my classic story about how my phone works. When I tried to type my. The words Aunt Joan in. That's the day I realized that ant and another word with unt in it. Or you know, they're pronounced different, but they're spelled the same. And my dad was none too pleased about me calling his sister that over and over in the text.

[E]

Yes, I can see that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Are we having Christmas at Jones house? That's my sister, you son of a bitch. What did I do? And then I read it back and like, oh, no, I didn't mean it that way. Ant and that word are spelled almost exactly alike. I'm just learning that. But yeah, my, the swipe text thing is just.

[E]

So when we were going back and forth yesterday with all the different names, were you swipe texting or was that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Actually still Thumbs up driving, man.

[E]

That's impressive.

[Dale Hellestray]

It makes it easier to text and drive, which has been my dream. I've tried so hard to be a decent citizen about texting and driving. I've tried so hard now with the new slide technique, even without it, I just can't stop. I want to, and eventually, hopefully, I'll just kill myself with it, and I don't hurt anyone else. But you know whose fault it is? All you people out there. Because I'm driving down the road, and every car I look into, somebody's got their phone in their hand and they're doing it. I'm like, why are they. If they're doing it, why shouldn't I? It's a terrible habit. It's worse than smoking. It's almost as bad as drugs texting. But I do. And yesterday, while we were doing our Name that dog game, we had a terrible text thread going yesterday about naming a dog. And it was. It was hilarious, but it was terrible. I mean. I mean, we're not gonna. Misogyny, I believe. Massive amounts of racism in every direction. You know, cruelty to animals and humans. Anything you can come up with. There's four of us on this thing, and it devolved into naming a dog the worst names you can think of. And while you're driving and doing it and you keep coming up with new ones. It's hilarious.

[E]

Was it playing over your speakers in the car?

[Dale Hellestray]

Like, over carplay? Okay. Can't imagine.

[E]

Next to a light.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, my God, the Jeep just shouting out.

[E]

Yeah, horrible names.

[Dale Hellestray]

Emick face is not going to. Yeah, My. My. My car doesn't beep, but, yeah, so I'm flying through, and I'm just. Zip, zip, zip, zip. It was brand new. Yeah, it's. It's easier to text and drive with the swipe technique. And I know. I know you're in booth. I know. If you knew about it. This is old. I just found out about it and found out about it from a guy in his 60s. So, yeah, it's not like this old man, young man thing. It's just. Nobody teaches you these things. You got to find them your own way. This one says Samsung had it forever. It's the only way I text. I try to teach my husband. He's an apple person, and he won't do it. Yeah, I think there's some people that are just. I tied the ladders one at a time. God damn it. Because that's how I was raised. Uh, it's old school. You might as well be cave drawing. Yeah. I couldn't. I can't believe how awesome it was to do to be part of that. Says not lifting your fingers to text. Now, Brady will have enough strength to do 13 push ups before the show. If you remember, Brady claimed he could do 12 push ups first thing in the morning. That was a long time ago. Crazy. And then, of course, I got Sean Philz, who says, a little early for your Robin Leach lifestyle this morning. That's right. Lifestyles of the rich and famous. I took Brady the Rah Rah room and he was impressed.

[Toledo]

Broomhead's already chimed in, take me.

[Dale Hellestray]

He wants to go. He did? Nope. Next one up is Ladonna Harvey.

[E]

She said, yeah, you don't want to get yelled at if you don't bring her.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'll just tell the bartender of the waitress. I'm like, I'm gonna go ahead and have the 8 ounce filet and brace yourselves.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm Ladena Herby.

[Dale Hellestray]

And now have the cob salad.

[Toledo]

42 ounces.

[Dale Hellestray]

42 ounce Tomahawk steak food.

[Brady Bogan]

Ladana.

[Dale Hellestray]

Put the bone in a bag for Sharp. He's my dog. Go home and feed the pet. Ladana Hurricane. She's got pipes.

[E]

I'm jealous.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know. None of us have her. I'm Jim Sharp, KCH here news. Good morning.

[Brady Bogan]

Wake up, Merrigan.

[Dale Hellestray]

She's like a drill sergeant.

[E]

She's a drill sergeant. Full metal jacket.

[Dale Hellestray]

So how's your night last night, Ladonna? I don't know, Jim.

[Brady Bogan]

Where are you from?

[Dale Hellestray]

Paige. Arizona. Paige? Well, it's up there. Squeers and stairs. And I don't see any horns. Okay, we'll be right back with weather and John Rollers traffic in a moment. Maybe first say so. Sharp, quit dictating the direction of this program. Ladonna don't want to do traffic. Ladonna's not doing traffic. I'm King Kong. King Kong up in this mother KTN news. Right back.

[Brady Bogan]

More LA down.

[Dale Hellestray]

Harvey yelling at gym. Sharp in a moment. I'm taking her first just because if she finds out I took broom head, all hell's gonna break loose. That lady, she's making Beth quake in her boots. She's. She's making Beth over there at Kez's dick shrink. And it's an amazing. It's an amazing pipes on that lady.

[Toledo]

In fact, let's check in at the Rah Rah room right now with Jim Cross down there.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, he's retired. Yeah, Brady. I don't do that anymore. Jim Cross, KTR News standing outside an empty building at 4 in the morning. Go yourself. Anyway, KTR's got something going. First time in radio I've heard a new voice. Jesus Christ. What's going on? She's got pipes, that lady. Anyway, yeah, swipe, texting. That's the future. Of course, everybody's chambering on about the thing that happened last year. Last night at Reagan International up in Washington D.C. crazy video of that plane crash. And they're in the Potomac. And then I, you know, because I'm weird. Like, the worst part of that to me is if you did like. Because they were saying they were searching for survivors. They felt like 20 by like searching for survivors. You imagine you survived the plane crash because they were pretty close to the ground when that helicopter hit them. And to me, I'm not. My BS meter is not up. This looks like to be a mistake. But Blackhawks and jets have so many systems on each one to know when something's too close. The fact that they collided. I mean, there's some sort of part of me that says something intentional happened here. You have to really F up twice.

[Toledo]

So it wasn't. The Black Hawk wasn't on the Runway.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, it was. You haven't seen the video?

[Toledo]

No, it's in the air.

[E]

It was. They were on a training mission.

[Dale Hellestray]

They said they're landing and a Blackhawk helicopter just flies into it. Well, it T bombs it. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And I saw it split the plane and I couldn't.

[Dale Hellestray]

I've talked to pilots and, you know, just. And the one guy that told me said the one thing we fear is fire. And he goes, but there's so much technology on jets now that you can't really have problems. It's usually pilot error. The other thing was spatial discombobulation. I forgot what they call that you get. The pilot can sometimes not know if he's right side up or upside down and it'll hit him in a second or he thinks he's going straight and he's turning dead left and he has no idea. And he just. It's, you know, station spatial disassociation. I remember what they call it, but he's like, those things kind of happen. And that's like really where it's a thing. He's. And then his other thing was. And sometimes man made things just fail. And he said, so, you know, you get into that. Yeah, this is. This is currently.

[E]

Show the video after this.

[Dale Hellestray]

The. But to me, a Blackhawk helicopter is, from what I've been told by pilots about as technologically Advanced as anything you can imagine. And, and the things about to land. It's going over the Potomac and it just hits the plane in the air.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[Dale Hellestray]

And that a crazy video.

[Brady Bogan]

And.

[Dale Hellestray]

But, but the jet, the American Airlines Eagle thing that the little. It's the. The baby jets that they fly that has technology on it that would sense something close. I don't know that the jet can get out of the way if one see.

[Toledo]

Well, I don't know the helicopters heading in. Looks like there's.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's not going up. And that's the only. When I first heard this, I thought to myself, oh, the helicopter was raising up and hit the bottom of the plane. But there's always stuff on planes that say, you know, I watch a lot of air disasters. Terrain, terrain pull up and if it's within a few hundred feet, the plane's gonna freak the F out that they've got an incoming. Something especially as big as a Blackhawk helicopter. Boy, that's hard to say without sound. Something terrible. And then the Blackhawk has that technology. So I would. I'm not, I'm a conspiracy nut. I'm not ruling out that somebody did this. This is too. There's too much going on. I mean our cars. We have Waymo. Our cars know when something's too close to just veer off or dip or do whatever. Unless both computers did the same thing to avoid the other. There's just so much technology on each aircraft for them to collide the way they did seems strange to me especially.

[Toledo]

You know, going over. You know, you're the airport area. I mean the first thing you're doing is kind of you thinking is looking around. Even when you're.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And it's Washington D.C. so the next thing in your brain is who's on that plane? Was there a politician? I know they have us skaters. Yeah.

[E]

That was the big one. The figures about this morning.

[Dale Hellestray]

Two Russians from their skating team from years ago. They meddled.

[Toledo]

They won a World Championship in 94.

[Dale Hellestray]

They died on the plane. They know that for sure. And then they said a bunch of us skating members. And I don't know if it was management, but a plane landing in D.C. hit by a Blackhawk helicopter. It just seems. It seems far fetched to believe that we're still making those mistakes. Yeah, but it does. And, and again, you know, the conspiracy theorists to me would say, well it doesn't happen all the time. Which makes it their excuse. I don't know. This one seems to be a load fishy. Who was on there Was there a businessman we wanted taken care of? Russian skaters. That means there's other Russians on there. Something. Something ain't right. That one, it smells a little. But I mean, my worst. The thing for me was you survive it and you land in the Potomac in January. Oh, I can't even imagine the. You might have survived the crash.

[Toledo]

That's what they're even when.

[Dale Hellestray]

And then froze seconds later in that horrible solid.

[Toledo]

And the crew, you know, luckily, the Hudson.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that was in January, too.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

They said the water at the. In the Hudson was freezing, but it was only about calf deep because they were standing on that wing. It is a. You know, it's, you know, and again, my brain goes down that road. Maybe it is just simply a mistake, just a goof, you know, and you want to. You just want to. You want to believe as a person who flies, you know, as all of us kind of just hop on that plane and cross our fingers and, you know, take. Take a chance. We want to believe that that's not possible, that those mistakes have been rectified through technology. You just don't want to believe you're going to sit on that thing and if something happens like that, it's like, we've got things to cover this. Right. You don't want to believe it's that fragile because that's a fragile situation where at the airport, of all places, another thing going side by side. And that's another deal. Why was that helicopter in that space going left and right when everybody else is going north and south? Yeah. I don't know. This one smells.

[Toledo]

And again, you look at that video from the distance, it looks like you can clearly see that it's a helicopter. Looks like it has visual, you know, can see the plane.

[Dale Hellestray]

You would think so. You would think so. And then, yeah, the other crazy in me, and I don't want to stir this up, but this is way my brain works, so I'm sharing it with you, is that we've had a couple of guys who are the military dude down in New Orleans that was trained and was a, you know, respected military guy, radicalized by ISIS and drove his car down the street New Year's Eve and he was one of ours until he wasn't. And then you find out that the pilot in the Black Hawk grabs hold of it and says, we're doing this, boys. Like what? And you find out he's. He's a double agent. And I watched too many Bond movies as a kid to not think that that stuff can't be Possible. And I think I want that to be true.

[Toledo]

It's gotta be on the list of possibilities.

[Dale Hellestray]

Cause it unlocks a fear in me that this, this is. We're still that fragile when we fly, that they're not 100% solid about where the other planes are. And I, you know, on air disasters, they talk about, you know, they call them near misses, which is a hit if you do the English. Right. But they're always like, oh, we were. We were then 700 yards of each other. And they consider that too close.

[Toledo]

It's like the 21 foot rule.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, exactly. The planes. Yeah. Because he makes attorney like, we can't get out of the way. But, you know, they know when the plane starts beeping, you're too close. You're too close. You get somebody in your airspace, the, you know, your air traffic control is right there. There's a. There's an air disasters episode. I think it was in la, where a US Air jet like the Eagle that land, or that didn't land yesterday in D.C. was on the Runway and got a little lost in the shuffle with the air traffic controllers and was just sitting there waiting its turn. And they landed a plane on top of it because he was supposed to not be on the Runway yet, but he pulled out. And then one guy right before in the recording goes, Where's US Air 1870? And the guy goes, oh, my God. And that's the last thing you hear because then this other plane just goes right over the top and blew up. Two planes. One big passenger jet and one little one. My buddy Billy was in Detroit flying to Pittsburgh in 1990 on a snowy mess of a night. And the pilot got lost and pulled out onto a Runway. And another plane took. Took it, cut the top of it off with its wing and its jet. And Billy said, just. You just hear a horrible noise. He survived this horrible noise. And then just flames all through the thing. He goes, if I wasn't wearing my leather jacket, I'd have been torched. And then he. He's the one who told me, never tell a woman never to wear pantyhose or anything. You know, that like polyester ish type burns to your body. And he goes, and that fuel isn't fire. It's. The air is on fire. You don't see it. And he said, we're walking through and you can't figure out how come the air, like, yeah, you can't touch it. The air is literally on fire. So then you'll sit and reach for something and your arm Will burst into flames. Because you stay on fire, the air doesn't show it. You light on fire. And he's like, my coat was keeping me from that. And he said, I was watching people just go up in flames. He woke up after the thing turned, looked, there was a guy sitting next to him. His head was hanging off, and he's like, I don't know what just happened, but I'm alive. And the door cracked open. Everybody got out. So he was on that. So, yeah. And that's an Air disasters, too. I always text Billy. I'm like, your air disaster is on. Like, that's his airport. Yeah, like, that's his time on Growing Pains. No, he was on a Northwest flight.

[Toledo]

Northwest, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

But it was. It's. It's crazy scary to think that because we all take our chance flying, we all go to the airport and just trust that this one's going to be all right. You just don't want it to be. You want your disaster to be legitimate. You know, if a terrorist is going to take the plane, you want it to be obvious what happened. You don't want ambiguity and flying. So I don't know, man. It's. It's. That's a tough one to watch. And then again, crashing in the Potomac. When I was a little boy, I had a dream about a little guy, smaller than me, laying in the water. And I could see the Washington Monument and the White House in my dream. And I had it every night for years, for. For days and days and days. I wake up crying. I tell my mom, that little boy's in the water and he's dying, and nobody knows when. There's divers and there's no one. And then this plane crashed. I think it was 1979 or 1980, in the Potomac. And they found a little kid laying in the water. And I. My mom was sobbing. She goes, is this what you've been talking about? I'm like, I don't know what this means.

[Toledo]

Freaky.

[Dale Hellestray]

But it was really weird that I'd had that dream. And I kept telling her, it's like, he's in this riverbed. It's in. That's where the President lives. I was 6 or 7. And she's like, that's crazy. She still talks about that to this day. She's like, you told me about that little boy in the water, and he lived. If I remember right, they found him. So it's creepy. So I don't know. It's. To me, before it turns into this, you know, conspiracy thirst trap. I just, I hear the words Washington, D.C. plane crash. That can't happen anymore. We've almost been promised that they won't do this anymore. And no survivors. And we don't know who's on the plane and. Mmm. It reeks of something else.

[Toledo]

It looks deliberate.

[Dale Hellestray]

If it was a news helicopter, okay, But a Blackhawk, and all they are is technology. I don't know. This one stings. This is a Stinger. And then again, maybe it just didn't work. We've seen Blackhawks do some stuff. When we tried to get bin Laden, one of them just laid itself on its side coming into the compound. We left it behind. We blew it up. So they didn't. But again, we blew it up because it's so full of technology we didn't want them to have it. Do they still build those here or they kill that plant?

[Toledo]

Not sure.

[E]

Those are Apaches in the same Apache longbow.

[Dale Hellestray]

I thought that was.

[Toledo]

I think a Blackhawk is a different.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, yeah. It's a tough one to watch if you haven't seen the video yet. Yeah, you're gonna watch it because we're all human and we're gross. But like Brady just saw it for the first time. It's cringe worthy to have to see that stuff. So my thoughts are we're going to hear some more about this or we're not. But my guess is somebody important's on that plane and we won't hear about that for a couple more days. There'll be somebody of like importance to a thing. Not necessarily a senator or something like that, but somebody that was a linchpin to a thing. My guess is this is a potential takeout and 63 other people were casualties based on this or the dude in the Blackhawk helicopter went nuts. I don't know. It seems too easy to be like whoopsie because there's going to be a lot of investigating. And I didn't realize they closed airports for that. What are the planes that are right behind that one about to land due? Do they just go right over it?

[Toledo]

They in the water and they'll take him to another airport.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know, but if you're the next plane and you're in final circle around, get out of there.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[Dale Hellestray]

You can't land over the top of what just happened. Like, not even the next guy anyway. It's not good. But I don't like thinking that way. And my brain immediately goes, oh boy, here's the unraveling. We're going to have troops flying to Ukraine or something here soon to open the doors because something happened on that plane. I hope I'm wrong. Let's get a wake up song. 585 9, 800 a good one we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Hey.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I didn't mean to stir this up. I think I was. I don't think I was the only one. But everybody's now in on this conspiracy thing and I've started the Zach Baggins nightmare. In my emails, this guy says, I'm a licensed pilot here, John. Not a weird scenario at all. Flying is freeway driving and helicopters are motorcycles. Pretty sure the helicopter was in the pattern to land and told the was and told to extend the downwind leg of his pattern and wait to turn until cleared by a tower. But turned before he was cleared. Tanner.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe.

[Dale Hellestray]

Tanner, but what? The video shows that things lifting it. Well, yeah, but it's kind of going up. It doesn't look like it's in. Maybe because maybe they bounce. I don't know how helicopter work. But you're right. That's a good way to put it. Makes sense to all us normals. Is that motorcycles are the thing that make you go, whoa. What was that? It kind of shows up out of nowhere. Says unfortunately, with the U.S. ice Skate team on the plane, we're going to be hearing about this for the next 20 years. When our wives watch ice skating, they're going to do this video of what we lost. What else do they have to talk about? The next Olympics going to suck. There has to be a handful of gay guys calling in for mental health day now because ice skating got ruined. Geez, Jason.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, you're not wrong.

[Toledo]

It's a way to look at it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. I mean it is going to be. There's gonna be some pink armbands for certain bars in town, but too soon, man to be worried about the reaction. This says I used to take a similar small commercial jet from Fort Huachuca to Phoenix for monthly meetings and Goodyear at Lockheed Martin, Never a fear, had monthly meetings in D.C. as well. I would either fly into Dulles or Reagan. Those made me nervous. That area is one of the most congested in the country. The airspace is shared between commercial and military.

[Toledo]

Would they say like 800 flights?

[Dale Hellestray]

That's the stuff you don't want to know.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

You don't want to know how much is going in and out of Sky Harbor. You don't want to know. You know where little planes are, helicopters are the motorcycles because they just kind of shoot up. And you're guessing like, I will get around it. We're not allowed over there. This guy says our Blackhawks don't all have radar anti collision devices. You would be amazed at how many near misses there are. But near miss. A near miss is a hit. We've got to start calling them near hits. A near miss means you hit something. If you nearly miss something, you hit it. I've never understood the near miss thing.

[Toledo]

Oh, I always like I.

[Dale Hellestray]

But think about it.

[Toledo]

I understand what someone's saying when that.

[Dale Hellestray]

I understand what they're saying, but it's, you know, it's wrong. A near miss. If Brett and I walked in the hall and I said, oh, I nearly missed you, what happened? I hit him.

[Toledo]

You almost hit him.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, I did hit him. If I nearly missed him, then I didn't miss him. I hit him. If I missed him, we didn't collide.

[Toledo]

I barely missed you.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, no. That's hitting the guy. Yeah, nearly. And barely missing is hit anyway. Says a lot of near misses out there. Most don't have autopilot. Only the mike models do. ATC should have ensured separation, but they may have told them to cross behind or above the other aircraft if they were flying with NVGs. I don't know what that is. It's very easy to think that you see the aircraft towers telling you to avoid some because through NVG, the aircraft looks closer. 60 crew may have been looking at the wrong aircraft.

[E]

Was like the side mirrors where it says objects may appear closer or something.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, yeah, I don't know what any of that means. Make that more understandable, this guy says. So. This might be insensitive, John, but I think I'm coming to the right place. I have a flight later today, and I feel very safe now. Now that this many people have crashed the day before I fly, we never hear about two airplanes crashing on the same day. That's been my theory forever. Whenever I fly, I scour the news for somewhere else having a crisis. Crash somewhere. Odds are yours is gonna make it. Just playing the odds, the fanduel odds. If there's a plane crash, there hasn't been a plane crash in a long, long time, and you're getting on a plane, those odds increase that it's your plane. You know, if it's been like, hey, four years since we've had a plane crash. I ain't flying for a little while till the next one goes down, then I'll get on. They don't go down in bunches most of the time. Said maybe once back in 2001. I can figure a couple plane crashes happened on the same day, but the odds of that happening again are slow. I'm, in a way, kind of thankful this happened because I fly today, but that's selfish. I'm going to Vegas for the weekend. Jsx the only way to travel. Alex. Yeah, it is insensitive and selfish to think that way, but NVG and night.

[E]

Vision goggles is what they're saying.

[Dale Hellestray]

So this one says, all right, Alex Jones, what's wrong with you? Scaring all these people with craziness. Not everything's a conspiracy. A nut bag. I still love you, but knock it off, Taylor. Not everything's a conspiracy, huh? That's what they'd want you to believe. What if it is, Taylor? What if everything is a conspiracy?

[E]

That's what this. This guy says again, John. They can put a missile down a plumbing exhaust hole, but yet they crash into each other. Very suspicious.

[Dale Hellestray]

That. That kind of crap. And I know we cut corners here and there, but you're right. We pay so much money to have things just like. You see, some of those things we brag about all the time with smart bombs, like, we can put this thing in a window. We can launch this from a mile away and put in a window, and we have the technology to steer it and do whatever. And you can't keep a helicopter from banging into a plane at the airport. I can understand if it was flying along and then a helicopter just showed up and was like, you're not supposed to be here. But at the airport, where we all know the only thing we're looking for is other planes in the air. How does that happen?

[Toledo]

We've come a long way from losing 15 to 20,000 pilots. Training flights.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Before they even go.

[Dale Hellestray]

World War II, when we were testing planes. Give this one a run. That's when my grandpa didn't fly, couldn't fix. He was scared to death of flying. You know what he did in the military? Fixed airplanes. And he said, I was a mechanic on airplanes. I'm never getting on one of those things. I'm like, really? He goes, you should see how they fixed them. But I'm like, it was World War II. You trying to get those birds in the air. Chances of that guy coming back were slim. Anyway, just deliver the payload. If the guy comes back, that's a bonus. That's gravy. He said they'd literally use, like, ropes.

[Toledo]

Crazy.

[Dale Hellestray]

And tape. Put it back together, get it out.

[Toledo]

There while they're fighting.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that plane training plane was still warm. Whatever shot it, and he's putting tape over the hole so it didn't have as much drag. And he's like, yeah, it's good. It'll work. Yeah. And then they're like, we're testing these things out. Thousands, by the tens of thousands. We lost a lot of military guys just testing the plane before we thought, all right, if that happened today, we tested an F, you know, 29. They just throw it a. We tested it today, and it crashed. They'd shut the whole thing down for, like, months back then they're like, put another one up. Let's see if that one crashes, too, because we might have a problem here.

[Toledo]

Talk about, you know, delivering that letter. Thank you for your son's service.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, he did a good job.

[Brady Bogan]

He's.

[Dale Hellestray]

He made us realize that we were building that wrong. I've heard that statistic before, Brady, about World War II test planes. 30 some thousand people dying and things like that. And you know the lady that called me a misogynist over there at Four Peaks. Sorry, hate to break it to you, but it was broads building the planes. Maybe the WACs weren't as heroic as we gave him credit for, because a lot of them crashed before they even got to battle.

[Toledo]

They only did the rivets.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay, well, a lot. I bet you if we went back and investigated, I bet there's a lot of rivet issues that led to. I don't know what's going on. I can't keep her. I can't keep her. Oh, no. Another one of those test planes went down. Rosie, slap together another one. Let's see if that one goes down, too. Yes, sir. All right. No.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe it's the ladies.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right, ladies, we're trusting you to build these planes. And I'm just. Ignore that. Anyway, trusting you ladies to get out there and put these rivets on properly. Barely hear you. Can barely hear me over all the planes crashing in the back. Who's with me? Are you ladies ready to save America?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, sir.

[Dale Hellestray]

Don't, don't. Don't get lazy with. Don't get lazy with the riveting guns. Damn it.

[Toledo]

You know, just paint.

[Dale Hellestray]

Any of you got artistic skills? We can put Betty Boop on the front of this. Maybe a shark. Yeah. Call me a misogynist, but not mistaken. We've made movies about all the broads building the planes. And then the other stat that comes out, that every test flight went down like 35 times before we used it. That statistics. Amazing.

[Toledo]

It is.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's. It like you, you, when you read it, look it up. Brett, how many pilots died in test flights in World War II? I remember. I think 30,000.

[Toledo]

15 to 25, I thought it was. But even still, that you look at.

[Dale Hellestray]

The number and you're like, that can't be right. Like 1500 right. Back in, you know, 1941, 1500 makes sense. They had test flight after test flight just exploding in the air.

[E]

13,000.

[Dale Hellestray]

13,000 people died trying to fly planes.

[Toledo]

It's crazy.

[E]

It's bananas, but there were 191, 000 that received their. Their flight wings.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know.

[E]

13,000 of that's how many died. 13,000 died during.

[Dale Hellestray]

During.

[E]

In training accidents.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, training accidents.

[E]

And then 191,600 got their wings to fly. So I don't know five percentages.

[Dale Hellestray]

So you didn't get your wings if you crashed. Shouldn't have your wings before they. Yeah, shouldn't have links before you.

[E]

When you graduate, you get your wings, right?

[Dale Hellestray]

So everybody gets wings. They're like 13,000 when you graduate.

[E]

Yeah, I think when you're in training, I don't think you get your angel wings, I guess.

[Dale Hellestray]

Why? Until you get your wings, I need to reverse that order. Get your wings, then start flying around.

[E]

This one says 15,000, so.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, well, they just didn't even keep track of that either. Yeah, I'm telling you what, homework's onto something here. The gay frogs and that. They found a bunch of gay frogs in Potomac. That's too cold for frogs. Get at the gay for good Government's after the little American Eagles right now. The Blackhawks are going up. They're going up filled with ISIS pilots. We know this is happening. We've known it for a long time. By the way, everybody on the plane was a crisis actor. Everybody in the Potomac today is a Cris factor. It's all staged. None of it was real. AI. They want you to be afraid. I don't know what's going on. Get out of here, Alex. I had another fear unlocked yesterday. I came home from tactical black and in the guest bathroom, which doesn't get used a lot, but gets used, Megan says, very funny, and leaves the room. What did I do? I don't. You know what you did. Like, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Toledo]

Go look in the toilet.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm like, absolutely not. Did somebody says that to me? I'm not doing it. You'll see. Did you put that in there? There's a scorpion swimming in the toilet water.

[E]

Oh, yeah, you put it in there, huh?

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm not. Yeah. A live scorpion tweezer. Why don't you flush it?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellestray]

Neither of us. I would have done the same thing at a runaway. That's a new fear. Completely flush the toilet. Well, I did.

[E]

I know, but why is she saving it? So you could see it.

[Dale Hellestray]

I think she wanted to sting me in the ass and kill me so she could get all the money. I think there's a sheep prank. Yeah. Some sort of weird.

[Toledo]

I thought it'd be funny. And you get stung.

[Dale Hellestray]

You could sit on a toilet, get stung. And my balls are in the water, by the way. Yeah. Especially in that toilet.

[Toledo]

I can see your fear. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Sitting there. Something crawls up your balls in the back, finds refuge on my back.

[Toledo]

If it happens, don't panic. Just let it climb.

[Dale Hellestray]

I got long balls. I can't have scorpions swimming for their lives.

[Toledo]

Let it find the ball vine and be the.

[Dale Hellestray]

The Chuck Nolan of the toilet. Where it finds my island and lives with Wilson. The. The scorpion volleyball on my ball sack until it starts stinging.

[Toledo]

Your bag is like the coast guard saving that scorpion first up in the wall.

[Dale Hellestray]

Exactly. Thank God. Thank God you got here.

[Toledo]

All right, we're bringing you up.

[Dale Hellestray]

Why are your butt. Why is your ball hair so patchy? It's the stuff I'm using. It's not working. And he just lives there for a little while. And then I pull my pants up. He goes, oh, no. It's trapped. And starts stinging me in the nut bag. What's he doing out? It's too cold for scorpions right now. They hibernate.

[Toledo]

There's one that came out from under the refrigerator two weeks and what?

[Dale Hellestray]

The scientist I talked to about scorpions when I had my house, you know, smoked. Greta Thunberg would have died the day she saw what I did to that house. When I realized, when I first move in, the scorpion problem was insane and not reported by the prior owner. I went back and looked at the thing. It said, any, you know, issues with vermin? Snakes poisonous him. A few scorpions. A few scorpions. Hundreds lobster size Red lobster would knock on my door and go, you got any extras? We got our tank. Throw them in there. You guys were eating them. You didn't even know. These scorpions were huge. So I torched it. And the guy told me, goes, if you ever see one coming out from under something or out when it shouldn't be, it's dying. They're sick. The healthy scorpions eat and stick in a corner, especially during the day. Yeah, if they're out. If they're out visibly, something's wrong.

[Toledo]

They hate light.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. They don't want to be out. They don't want to be exposed. They don't want any of that. They're eaten because they're about dead. Otherwise they get some food, they go in between the H block and your cinder block wall, and you'll never see them ever again if they're out in your house. But what's this dude taking laps? I mean, he's in the toilet now. That particular toilet is my super. That's where I learned my pinky hook, where I grabbed my sack and lift up and place it on my left leg. I have to. They're down in there.

[Toledo]

The old layover.

[Dale Hellestray]

That particular toilet I hit, no matter if I'm cold or warm.

[Toledo]

You're to the base.

[Dale Hellestray]

If I'm warm, that's base. Jumping truth bomb, Brady. Here it comes. If I'm warm. Summertime on that toilet because I sit to pee, both balls are submerged. That's how deep I go into that water. Sometimes I just.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, no, no.

[Dale Hellestray]

That toilet I don't ever like. I usually stand to pee in that one.

[Toledo]

You bring in the extended Gotcha.

[Dale Hellestray]

I gotta get a seat for that one. For some reason I'm getting booster seats.

[Toledo]

If you have to use it every.

[Dale Hellestray]

Now here's the other thing. If I'm moderately warm, like, I'll feel the, the water on the, on the bottom. Just, you know, like it just barely.

[E]

It's like an ocean breeze.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's wet, but it's not. But once I start peeing, it rises up just enough to get my balls in there.

[E]

Oh, then you got piss balls.

[Dale Hellestray]

I got piss balls. Oh, it's warm in the middle of the night. I'm not thinking. I plop down, I'm like half asleep. And then. But nothing's in the water. And I don't do the hook, hook, leg thing. And it was like. And then I'm like, ah. The water level rose a quarter inch. Now I got piss balls.

[Toledo]

I can't imagine.

[Dale Hellestray]

So if there's a scorpion swimming in there. Yeah. Consider yourself blessed that you don't have extra scrote skin. Like I. You know who I curse is Alvar Augustus Holmberg. Because I know that dude had a ball bag on him for miles. I inherited that from my grandfather. My other grandpa had that thrown on his toilet. I asked him years ago and it. Great. He cursed me. It was like a Stephen King novel. He cursed me. So what's that big thing on your toilet, Bill? Huh? Like the thing on your toilet, that's what. My balls. Don't touch the water. Oh, gross. That's your future. What? You're crazy, old man. And he was right. Sucked being down in the.

[Toledo]

Ever talk about it with Dan growing up?

[Dale Hellestray]

You know what? I haven't. I need to.

[Toledo]

Maybe he's got a dad.

[E]

Deer balls.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. We walk up. Dad, can I ask you something? Do you get piss balls sometimes in the middle of the night because you forgot to hook your nuts? Oh, yeah. I'm down in the drink, son. What age were you in the drink? Because I was early 40s when I started to feel the cool, cool sensation. It stinks and it's not getting better. One of these days I'm gonna flush them. They're going all the way and I won't even know. I'm gonna get so used to having my balls dunking in there like a donut and coffee. But now there's scorpions swimming around in there looking for a place to land.

[E]

Time to move now.

[Dale Hellestray]

I gotta get out of there. I gotta move to a non scorpion environment. What's he doing in. And he's moving. I'm gonna get out of here. Can't climb the forest on a backstroke.

[E]

In there or what?

[Dale Hellestray]

He had to fall in from the air vent.

[E]

That's what somebody said. Is the exhaust fan above the toilet?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Cause he couldn't have climbed the toilet. He'd had to go upside down on that sleeve. The two things they can't climb is glass and porcelain. That's why if you have a ton of them, you're supposed to put mason jars in the bottom. Especially with a baby around, like the legs of the crib. Because a scorpion can't climb that. My friend Dave Whitlatch taught me that because he had him shooting out of his air conditioner. He told me. So he was sitting there watching TV once, and he looked up and he goes, something's moving on that wall. And the air conditioner came on like the, you know, airborne came through. Just all like. They have little parachutes shooting out of his air vent. He goes, those are scorpions flying into my home. And he had kids at the time, they were young, so they Put. He said we had Mason jars on all the legs of our tables. I'd move. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

No way.

[E]

I'm out.

[Dale Hellestray]

You gotta seal your house. You gotta torch the whole yard. I don't have a problem anymore. I occasionally see one, like yet, but in the toilet. That's new.

[E]

It's like after we have our palm trees trimmed, then they.

[Dale Hellestray]

Then you see them. Yeah. And that's the crazy thing. They're not in my palm trees. Not at all.

[E]

They're in ours.

[Dale Hellestray]

Palm trees are free and clear of them. I. But I hit the. That back wall. I took down every oleander in my backyard close to the house. There's like 40 of them. I got rid of all of them because those things were. That was Shangri La to the scorpions. It was my Vietnam. Going back there into that oleander thing. Hit it with a black light. It started glowing like it was a dance club. So. Yeah. In the toilet, though I. And I understood it. But I like that, you know. Megan assumed I was trying to.

[Toledo]

Why would you.

[Dale Hellestray]

Why would I put a.

[Toledo]

You're the one.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm the only one at risk. Unless her labs are suddenly hanging down into the water.

[Toledo]

And I haven't noticed that vacuum on it. Maybe.

[Dale Hellestray]

Maybe yesterday's vacuum. She's doing a little lab work when nobody's home. Plopping those bad boys out, making her look like a character from Fat Albers. Yeah.

[E]

That's grounds for divorce. I mean, if the labs are hanging in the toilet. In the water, out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Hanging in the toilet. If I can use the word hanging. Labs. That's what I'm saying.

[E]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

And that's like an inch too much.

[E]

Yeah. I'm out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Goodbye again, Cordell. If the first thing I think of is two angelfish fighting over a sidewalk crack, I'm not like. I don't want it. I'm not. Labs hanging. That thing needs to look like a paper cut at best. If you've got droopers.

[E]

Ryan says I'm dying. Laughing. Thinking about John's Rapunzel scorpion balls.

[Dale Hellestray]

Grotesque fairy tale Rapunzel. Rapunzel let down your balls. Yeah. I would. Saved his life. And then he'd have killed me. It's like Saving Private Ryan. Anyway, that is a new one. So now I look. It's in the olden days and look after. Remember outhouses? They used to have that stick. You see those old movies where guys would battle around. Like, what do they have turning the. Well, they turned. They banged around scorpions and spiders and stuff. Lived in the outhouse. My.

[Toledo]

Not only that, my, you know, my cousins that lived up in Arkansas, the Ozarks outhouse. Multiple times.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's a copperhead, a snake in there. Yeah. Then you hit it with a stick. You're in worse shape, but at least gonna make noise.

[Toledo]

And they. I mean, they get out of there just like a still. And you gotta, you know. You had to take a flashlight. You had to go at night.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Oh, no. And you went out and live holding it. Yeah, I pee outside.

[E]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Before I go in a wooden room. You went into the outhouse?

[Toledo]

Well, sometimes you had to. If you had to.

[Dale Hellestray]

They didn't have plumbing.

[Toledo]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

How old are you?

[Toledo]

They didn't have. They had a running sink. No, actually, that was a.

[E]

Well, those two people from the UA go down there two weeks a year. No way.

[Toledo]

It was slave camp.

[Dale Hellestray]

They sent you, your parents, the bunny and Torpco.

[Toledo]

Oh, they loved it.

[Dale Hellestray]

What the. No plumbing, no showers, no washing.

[Toledo]

They finally. But they got plumbing running water in the house. Still wouldn't put a bathroom they wanted. They kept the out composting.

[Dale Hellestray]

Sean Rockefeller, blind listener, says, think of me. The old scorpion in the toilet gag, huh? Oldest trick in the book. I actually wonder if there's snakes and scorpions in my vicinity sometimes. I'll never know. I block those thoughts out of my mind like Brady does his childhood. It's true. All the bad things that happened to Brady's life, Sean blocks those out because he lost his eyesight. Think of the blind.

[Toledo]

Good for you.

[Dale Hellestray]

How many times does a blind guy wander around with his stick and sit on a toilet with a scorpion swimming around in it? And if you're. And if Sean, if you're like me and you've got extra scrote skin. Yeah, like I'm throwing that in there. I'm the only one at risk. Very funny. I know what you did. What are you talking. Then the door slams. I'm like, ah, nut job. Let her live her life over there. What are you talking about?

[Toledo]

Morning, Ralph.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that's right. I know what you did, you son of a bitch. I don't know what she's talking about. Shut up. Match game's on. 70s house over there. She goes about her business and I'm like, what are you talking about there? What did I do to you? Have you looked in the toilet? No. There he was. What's up? You want to get a net? Help me out? No, I'm flushing your ass. How you doing? Yeah, but he had to come out of a vent, and that makes me more Nervous not going to tape up my fence. Yeah, it's horrifying. So that's a new fear completely unleashed on me. I never even thought about that before. Worst thing I've ever thought of isn't occasionally on a nice long number two, sometimes it falls out and brushes against my extra long ball. It's like, now I really know why.

[E]

You shower after going to the bathroom.

[Dale Hellestray]

Every time falls forward and hits him. Yeah.

[E]

Scrub the sack too.

[Dale Hellestray]

One time on an especially good one, probably a two foot cable, it, you know, I clipped it off and it fell into the extreme ball bag and just laid on it for a minute. I had to move. Used it as a fulcrum to kind of stay out of the water for a little bit. I'm like, oh, I have to move these out of the way in order for that thing to complete its mission. Only on warm days, Brett.

[Toledo]

Gross.

[E]

Move to a colder climate.

[Dale Hellestray]

I need to live in Greenland. I got so excited when Trump said, we're going to buy that place. I'm like, finally. Place where my balls are normal again. It's horrible.

[Toledo]

It's a matter of time because once a night we don't have a doggy door. Have to let the dogs out usually. And that's walking through barefoot landmines of Mozambique. I'm just a matter of time before.

[Dale Hellestray]

Once you're getting.

[E]

You don't go with the flashlight from the phone or anything.

[Toledo]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, you can't see him anyway at night.

[E]

Oh, I thought you. I thought he was talking. I'm sorry. I was thinking of talking about poop. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Bedroom.

[E]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Walking through the living room to let the dogs out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, you think they're gonna be in the house?

[Toledo]

They could be. I mean that's how many times they're moving around.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that's what that was one of the suggestions somebody told me I moved into the house at Scorpions. They're like, well, just don't ever walk around without shoes on. That's impossible. That's the whole point of having a home is being comfortable and being. I don't. My shoe. We just keep them near the bed and then like. But don't make them like slippers because scorpions will get in there too. Regular shoes too get in all your.

[E]

And they're hidden in there.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I have, you know, knock on wood. I have not had any like inside that. That's been a close call till that I've seen a couple in the house like, oh, there's one. I'm more worried my dog, my three legged Dog stepped on one, got stung in the foot, and her foot swelled up like a bag of blood. And it was her only good for front foot or her only one. So she was standing on her back legs crying because she got stung by a scorpion. And her. I mean, it swelled up horrible. She was miserable for like four days.

[Toledo]

Cats are amazing. They bat them around.

[E]

They're immune to them, aren't they?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I've heard that, but I don't know. I don't think a scorpion.

[Toledo]

Yeah, they're so quick.

[Dale Hellestray]

They f. With them. And then the scorpion like, yeah. Freaking cats. It like, goes and hides again. Yeah.

[Toledo]

They're like, I don't know what to stink.

[Dale Hellestray]

Dogs smell them, touch them, and then zing. Ouch. Cats look at him like, oh, you're in my house for. Get out of. And they give him a quick whap. Scorpion sits there with its little. Gets hit in the head. He's got good speeds like Manny Pacquiao. Scorpion doesn't know what's coming. Next thing you know, cat's next to him, Angles. He's playing the triangle game that says.

[E]

Hell no to copperheads. I'm taking a dump in the mason jars on the kids crib.

[Dale Hellestray]

There isn't. I think that's an extreme issue. Rather than.

[Toledo]

That's a good crossover.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Rather than solving your copperhead problem. You just put mason jars on the crib, I think. But the scorpions, you just don't even know where they're coming from. But they're in air vents and all. I don't have a problem. I am very adamant Hunter pest control. And they're like, hey, you see, I saw two scorpions break out the poison, destroy my planet.

[E]

I'd rather have got Agent Orange in that truck. Bring it out.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'd rather have days in the summer where it's 145 degrees than I would have a scorpion problem at my house or whatever I'm doing to the environment. And I'm fine. I'm just one man. My carbon footprint can afford poisoning the planet a little bit. I do plenty of that anyway. And if you have an outhouse, like Brady's cousins, kill yourself. What's wrong with you? Haven't needed those since the 30s. It's been almost 100 years of not needing an outhouse. I forgot the movie. I think it was Raggedy Man Spacek. It's great movie. And the kids go out to the outhouse and they start batting around with the stick. I'm like, ew. And then the other kid says, what you doing that for? Because they're hillbillies. Getting rid of the spiders, maybe snakes. He's gonna drop trowel and overalls. Do you wear overalls when you go to the outhouse to poop? You probably had overalls.

[E]

You have to. Isn't.

[Dale Hellestray]

You probably dressed the part.

[E]

Isn't that the attire to go into the outhouse?

[Toledo]

You know, they kind of Woodstock so it's. You're naked.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just wandered around naked. Jesus. No wonder we think. No wonder we think there's a Bigfoot.

[Brady Bogan]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellestray]

Somebody saw Brady walking with a roll of toilet paper and a stick.

[Toledo]

They're in the outhouse.

[Dale Hellestray]

I ate a lot of hippie lettuce last night. I'm feeling kind of fine. I re.

[E]

Hey, man, is that Freedom Rock?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Are you taking. Are you taking your stoner daughter over to that place? Eventually.

[Toledo]

I want to.

[Dale Hellestray]

You do? I keep her away from that. She's going to find her calling.

[Toledo]

You might be right.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, no, no, no. Keep her away from there if you don't have a dispensary already. All she's going to be is a poor pothead.

[Toledo]

It is night and day difference from when I was going there.

[Dale Hellestray]

Built a bathroom.

[E]

Yeah, technology is great, isn't it?

[Dale Hellestray]

Indoor plumbing in the. In the 90s.

[Toledo]

But, you know, the other thing is they. They grow some weed, too.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, yeah, Kirby, love. That's what I'm saying. You can't bring Bill Walton down to that place. He's never coming home. Daddy, I have found the place I want to live for the rest of my life. Kerba Durb's home forever. And I don't even mind if I get bit in the ass by a scorpion in the outdoor poop sheds. Yes. I'll throw it down to the Copperhead. It'll be a battle of tube snakes while I harvest my greens. You gotta come home, Curbs.

[E]

Never.

[Dale Hellestray]

I firmly planted my feet in this Arkansas farm of heaven. Don't you miss Showers?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

I want to smell like the earth and smoke it every day. Here's a little Jimmy Cliff. You can't take her to that pot farm, that family pot farm. If she finds out about that.

[Toledo]

We gotta go.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, don't take her, Brady. You shouldn't even be driving by those Sunday morning stores. I bet you her face goes up against the glass like a. What you doing, Curbiter? Nothing. The sweet, sweet smell of the green, green life that I want to live but have to do it secretly because my teetotalling father won't Allow it. You looking at that building over there? Kind of cool mural, huh? Yes, exactly. The art is what I'm interested in, father. Not this. The sweetness of hibiscus blue that lives inside five gummies, please. I'm practicing my order for when I'm allowed in. No doubt. Kirby, is everyone you talk to. Say, hey, if you had a 16 year old daughter that made you go see the Bob Marley movie and then just sits in parking lots and in and out until the cops come, what do you think's going on? Oh, she smokes tons of weed. Absolutely. She likes tie dyed T shirts.

[Toledo]

They're quoting bible verses.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's what they're doing.

[E]

I'm sure it's exactly what they're doing.

[Dale Hellestray]

We'll all smoke out my Mustang. We'll hot box until the police arrive and kick us out for no good reason. We're goons. Yeah. Does her car smell more like air freshener or car?

[Toledo]

I come home after work hoping there's cookies because she says again, I wake and bake.

[Dale Hellestray]

Where's that promise you made? You must be polishing off those delicious treats before daddy has a chance. That's exactly. And they're too good to wait for you at 10:08 in the morning. So we polish off all the cookies. Daddy. I'll be down at the in and out parking lot listening to Zeppelin. I'm 16. It doesn't add up. Unless one thing is added to the equation. The sweet Pineapple Express. Does she have any of that? Ralphie taught me that years ago. Orange air freshener. He goes, it's an automatic no. Whoever has orange or fruit air freshener smokes loads of weed. If anybody's car smells like citrus, they are constantly smoking weed.

[Toledo]

She doesn't.

[Dale Hellestray]

Does her car smell like oranges?

[Toledo]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Or they have that, but that's a vanilla thing. Strippers or vanilla?

[E]

Well, vanilla or the fruit. I've smelled the fruit too.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's because they're covering up the other strippers.

[E]

Cover up the other.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's glitter. Glitter and fruit. Yeah. Anyway, do you worry that she's on the weed? Like we know that you don't. You need to. Because she is. Probably. If it was still illegal, she'd be on the FBI list 10 journey, man. Just don't pay attention. Did she buy you the shirt you're wearing today? Because if she did, everybody's high.

[E]

I'm getting high looking at it.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know. He's got his Woodstock 69 gear on today. He's got a powder blue tie, dyed sweatshirt on clearly purchased by. This would look great on you, dad. Especially when I'm stoned to the. Be Jesus and watch you walk in. It's like the sky has fallen. In my own home, Sometimes I look at daddy's sweatshirt and I think I'm a bird and I can fly. All around the beautiful blue sky that envelops his little body. Why are you staring at me? Curvin herbs. No particular reason, fat man. Just stand still. Yeah, this Ronnie thinks she's on weed. Ronnie's the more realistic of the two parents.

[Toledo]

No, I don't deserve it.

[Dale Hellestray]

You talk about.

[Toledo]

I mean, just the last couple of weeks, he's wanted to, like, play hacky more.

[Dale Hellestray]

I bought these sticks to balance this other stick. And I'll be at the community college flipping these around for hours in my newly yarned hat.

[E]

She's not gonna go to Hillstone anymore. It's gonna be Chiba Hut next time you guys go to lunch.

[Dale Hellestray]

Does she have.

[Toledo]

She's got one put in because they know she's there.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, she probably. Where's Kirby, Ronnie? I don't know. She's downtown picketing something. Build the chiba here. She's outside for hours signing petitions, getting a chiba hut it has to be within walking distance. I can't drive more than two people in my vehicle until I'm 17.

[Toledo]

I wasn't sure.

[Dale Hellestray]

I looked at him like Kerba Hut started her own. Would you like more Rice Krispie squares? That's a rhetorical. Of course you do. You're as high as I am. Did you see the shirt I purchased from my father? It had to come with an addiction. So Ronnie doesn't think Kirby's dabbling. Because when I was joking with her, all Kirby did was laugh. She never went. I don't touch it. My curves. Are you high right now? That was all that happened, bruh. Bruh, like, Kirby, are you high right now? A lot of that, but never once, No, I don't do it. I don't know why you think that. Because you took your dad to Bob Marley. You're 16. I made up. You want to work at a record store? Your room smells like orange trees. I want you to do this, Brady. I want you to go in there today and just cognizantly smell her car. I'll do it if it smells like citrus. Have a talk with her, all right? See what she's into.

[E]

Somebody says if it smells like ozium. Same thing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Ozium is a huge. If they even have ozium. There's no reason to have ozium if you have ozium there. You're a pothead. Does she have ozium?

[Toledo]

Not that I know, but I'm gonna check.

[Dale Hellestray]

Pay attention. It's in a little. Usually gold or silver, too. Yeah?

[E]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

What's it smell like?

[Dale Hellestray]

Nothing. It clears the air.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[Dale Hellestray]

It doesn't have much of a scent. It does, but it's.

[E]

Yeah. Almost unnecessary describe.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, it kills smells. And it's a little. Usually it's silver or gold. At least it used to be. I don't know what they have now. Little tubes. I've never knew. Nobody needs ozium otherwise at all. There you go. That stuff look as blue. Okay, okay. Little oium. Like about the size of a hand.

[Toledo]

I'm gonna get it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Does she have.

[E]

And you can get citrus flavor. New car original outdoor est.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's the original. Is the one. I know because that's the most silverish blue. That's the one. I've always seen that. I didn't even know they had flavors.

[E]

So if you see. If you smell any of these flavors in the Mustang. Brady.

[Dale Hellestray]

Brady. If you know you're in trouble. And you know what else?

[Toledo]

You'll see me smiling.

[Dale Hellestray]

You think you're proud of her? That's my girl.

[E]

Keeping it clean, Daddy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Dragons flying above the house tonight made me wonder. How small are we in this speck known as the universe?

[Toledo]

Gonna have that dread hair?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's coming. That's coming. Worse still is her dumb white boyfriend with those dreadlocks while they listen to 311 by the pool. Amber is the color of your energy.

[Toledo]

Whoa, whoa.

[Dale Hellestray]

Kirby Walton. I want to take her in for a week. I'll set her straight. I'll be that. I'll be that drill sergeant. We got some ozium and some citrus. Yes. It's to keep the room smelling fresh. Of course. Yeah. What are you working at a Best Western? You're not smoking weed in here anymore.

[Toledo]

Well, thanks to you, I'm taking her to a concert here.

[Dale Hellestray]

And what are you seeing? Oh, that's the creator.

[Toledo]

The Creator.

[Dale Hellestray]

And thanks to me.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

I just put you in touch with a guy over there, could get you tickets. I didn't do anything. And you got to go to Tyler, the creator.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

You don't have to go. She's 16. Let her go to concerts by herself now.

[Toledo]

I kind of feel that way a little bit.

[Dale Hellestray]

Who's stopping that? Ronnie doesn't want to.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Trust her. Somebody doesn't trust her.

[Toledo]

And you know she's taking a friend.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

So that's what I said, but. Well, I watched.

[Dale Hellestray]

You went to concerts when you were 16. Yeah, yeah, 16. You don't need that.

[E]

As soon as I could drive, it was like, okay, go.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, they, like, wanted me out of the house.

[E]

15 even. Like, we'll drop you off.

[Dale Hellestray]

I got dropped off at a couple of shows, and I didn't want to go. Yeah, come with me. I'm scared. My dad. But get out of the car. We're gonna go bang your mother while you're not home, because you're always home. My dad would say that to me. He's like, how come you don't do stuff on Fridays? Your sister was always gone. I don't know. Because when she'd come home, all hell broke loose, and I kind of saw that. So I'm afraid to leave on the weekends because I think bad things happen now. I know my dad was like, I could use a blowjob, but the boys here.

[E]

Well, you don't hang out with Mexican dudes, so you're fine.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, it was fine, But I was like, don't you have any friends? He would encourage me to do stuff all the time on the weekends, always get out. Was Mark doing anything? And he loved me working. Once I was 15, and I was working weekends. Oh, I'm proud of you. I'm like, okay. He didn't care. He was just happy I wasn't home. On Friday and Saturday nights, we got to go to Tyler the Creator because Ronnie. No. If Ronnie's putting her foot down, then she should. Guy.

[Toledo]

No, I'm taking it. I'm taking it for the team.

[Dale Hellestray]

You shouldn't. You should just leave. Drop her off, drive around. Is it at Footprint?

[Toledo]

It's a Footprint.

[Dale Hellestray]

Give you tickets. I'll give you a couple of keys to the H and H Ranch. You can go upstairs, sleep it off, and pick her up after. Don't go. You don't need to go to that. Yeah, 16, or the last thing she needs is you hanging around.

[Toledo]

Yeah. So the one friend's going. The mom called me. Thank you so much.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, because she didn't want to go either. She's a smart one. Yeah. Why don't you say they're 16? Ours can go alone. What is. What's Ronnie most worried about?

[Toledo]

I think both.

[E]

Weed.

[Dale Hellestray]

She's smart, right? Is that what they're worried about?

[Toledo]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellestray]

Drugs? Human trafficking? They're six. You went to concerts when you were 16. You were running around the Ozarks naked.

[Toledo]

Different time. Different time, bro.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know man. You didn't have a tracker. She's got her phone. Just keep an eye on where she is. Put an apple tag in her bicycle.

[Toledo]

Being like the equivalent of being downtown.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

At like in fifth grade.

[Dale Hellestray]

My parents were. My mom was a helicopter mom compared to all the other moms. Stebbings. My buddy Stebbings was allowed to ride his bike to Phoenix from Tempe. If he paper route at 2 in the morning. We're running produce. When he got a. When he, when he got his car when he was 16 in summer he'd be like I gotta get up at 3:30 and go get produce. All there was downtown at the time with just places that sold veg to restaurants. And they'd hire Mark to put it in the back of his truck and I'd go with him and we'd load his truck and drop it off at restaurant deliveries. We're 16. I was 15 and 16 years old at 4 in the morning in the summer. Driving around a good money like you know the knock kneed lobster in places I'd never heard of before. Dumping off kale just. And wasn't. Wasn't clean by the way. I was just dumping it in the back of his S10. And we drive to these restaurants. All you needed to be was a kid willing to take cash at the end of the day with a pickup truck. Weird.

[E]

There you go.

[Toledo]

Don't leave until you got the cash.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right. And oh yeah we were collecting too. This was 88 bucks. $88. You tell your boss? I'm like nope, we don't talk to him. We just need the 88 bucks. And I was like there I am watermelon on a toothpick. You got problems, I got solutions. And they're called Lefty and Righty Jackson if you're interested. Is this kid threaten to poke me with those toothpick arms. Is yeah. Pokey. I'll poke your eyes out with these sticks, mister. All right. All right. Here's your money. You're cute. You're adorable. That's actually somewhat threatening in a weird kind of alien way. Then we'd hop in Mark's truck, drive back, get some more lettuce and drop it off on 35th Avenue in Indian school. We're risking our lives.

[E]

Sure about your boyfriend's.

[Dale Hellestray]

Been pregnant six times by then. In fact she was probably pregnant by the guy I was buying produce from. Kirby can go to Tyler the Creator without you. You take the keys to the H and H rants and relax mister. Let her go Wanderer. And you just be a rock. Well, she can. She can drive. You don't even need to drive her.

[Toledo]

I know.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is insane.

[E]

When is it?

[Dale Hellestray]

It's in March.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

You got a couple. You got a month and a half to her. Get even better at driving and hiding weed. I think we all, the KUPD audience, Brett and I, we speak for everyone. We say it's time to cut the cord, Brady. It's time to let her go. Let the bird fly. You don't want to go and you don't want to go.

[E]

She don't want you to go.

[Toledo]

There's a slight curiosity of Tyler, the creator. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, there's no, there's not. No, there isn't. Stop it. You're not. You can't even swipe text.

[Toledo]

I want to be the guy shaking my head the whole time. What in the world?

[Dale Hellestray]

Nobody wants to see the old man with his arms folded. Walter's poppet, you're Stadler.

[Toledo]

Call this a show?

[Dale Hellestray]

Stadler and Waldorf by yourself. You let that kid spread her wings.

[Toledo]

I got an extra ticket.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. I'm not going with you. That's ridiculous.

[Toledo]

Brett.

[E]

No. Not hanging out with two 16 year old girls and you.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm out, kid. Brady running around. You realize, different times. This Edwards, right, he said, Brady, you were running around in the golden age of the serial killer. It was different times. It was worse then. He's right.

[Toledo]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, it was a lot worse back then. She'll be fine. Put an apple airtag in her pocket. You've got her phone, location, services. Keep track of her. If she starts drifting down the I10 west, get in the car and go like you're doing it wrong. Or you're in a truck and you're heading.

[Toledo]

I might. I got time.

[Dale Hellestray]

Let her blossom. Let her give those other two tickets. You got to Two more friends. Oh, boy. Her weed dealer and her and that guy's wife.

[E]

He's already gonna be.

[Dale Hellestray]

Thanks. Groovy, man. That's awesome, man. Here's some free weed.

[Toledo]

She's already had a couple of friends offered a trade.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know what they're trading. Did you sell the tickets? Curbs in a weird sort of sideways. There was a transaction, yes. How much did you get? A pound. A British sterling pound. Good move. Yes. That's it. A British pound, Daddy. Yeah, she's gonna. Let's let her blossom. Brady, don't go.

[E]

Brady.

[Toledo]

I shut the trade down, cuz. Whoa. How do you get to trade the tickets? I Paid for it.

[Dale Hellestray]

She's not keeping the trade money.

[Toledo]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, she would if. I mean, you're not going to put your foot down. If she made the sale, you'd let her have it. I'm just saying I think you should allow it. Don't go. This is a big step for Brady. Little peer pressure from your friends here at work. It's time to let her go to Tyler the Creator by herself. Because that sounds like ass to me.

[Toledo]

I'm okay with that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I don't really want to go see Tyler the Creator on a Wednesday in March. Oh, what a shame. I was really looking forward to spending the evening with you and Tyler the creator. Well, it looks like Pop Pop's not going. Break out the gummies.

[Toledo]

Ronnie chimed in. I don't trust other people. That's why she's not allowed to go to concerts by herself.

[E]

And Ronnie should take.

[Dale Hellestray]

And Ronnie should go. Brady doesn't want to go. Right.

[Toledo]

I was walking out and I heard what you said.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're getting yelled at so you can put Scorpion in the toilet.

[E]

This guy Eric says the same thing. Can my 17 year old go with Kirby? I don't want to go to this crowd.

[Dale Hellestray]

And you got a 17 year old? What do you mean you don't trust other people? Just gonna start punching her. No, he's gonna steal Kirby.

[Toledo]

I'm go. You mean in the box seats?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, they're in the suites.

[Toledo]

Maybe at the food line and the.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right, maybe if the sweet food club. If the sweet next to you has a chic in it or something. Yeah. These lovely ladies to our left are teenaged, and it's time to take them to our kingdom. I don't think that's who it wasn't. Alex doing stuff at 16. Maybe that's a bad eighth grade. Okay, never mind. You should follow this kid to Tyler's grade. Juice World. Oh, you had to go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I went to Juice World with.

[Dale Hellestray]

Him, and that was the last concert.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was his last concert. I think he was dead, like, six months later.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, no. Your son's still alive.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that guy?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. You're talking about Travis Scott? Yeah. Okay.

[Toledo]

Did you like it?

[Dale Hellestray]

Wait, who died in Juice World?

[E]

Juice World died.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, he is dead. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, I was thinking of Astroworld, where.

[Toledo]

Oh, no.

[Dale Hellestray]

Travis Scott killed all those people. Like you weren't in Houston.

[John Holmberg]

So let her go by herself, Ronnie. She'll be fine. Don't worry about other people. They take care of each other. They take care of Each other. It's great. Every kid there is going to be her age. They'll take care of each other. There's nobody pushing drugs on them.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's exactly right. And you never have to worry about anything. And let me just pause for this moment. She's just 16 years old. He's not out there anymore.

[E]

Do you even know Tyler the Creator?

[Toledo]

I know all of stuff.

[E]

This is Sticky.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is what it's all about.

[Toledo]

Identify him, play him, and see if.

[John Holmberg]

You can tell what track it is.

[Dale Hellestray]

Every song is about weed with Tyler the Creator. That's why he's so creative.

[Toledo]

Who the you talking to? I ain't the one.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're going to love this great song.

[E]

Sing along, baby.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know what it's talking about. There.

[E]

This sounds awesome.

[Toledo]

I'm not going.

[Dale Hellestray]

Boy, I'd rather go to a recital. It sounds like a recital.

[Toledo]

Is that a smash hit?

[Dale Hellestray]

It's one of the. Apparently.

[Toledo]

This is one of the big ones.

[E]

This is one of the big ones for Sticky.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know Sticky.

[E]

Glorilla's in it. And Sexy Red and Lil Wayne and.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, don't try and call out.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's not a hit, cuz you don't have. With the plumes of smoke coming out from the bottom of the door trying to scrap the foot. I'm looking. You know what?

[Toledo]

I kind of see this.

[E]

No, you don't.

[Dale Hellestray]

You let her listen to this filth.

[John Holmberg]

You're committed for two hours at this show.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're gonna hate it. Do you know that your precious angel is sitting in that car reciting those lyrics driving down the road?

[Toledo]

Kirby just texted in. Sticky is the worst song he has.

[Dale Hellestray]

What's the best? Kirby?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Angel plumes floating on the earth's surface.

[John Holmberg]

Let her have her independence. Let her go by herself.

[Dale Hellestray]

Let her go, Kirby. Start fighting to go. Well, you don't want that old man cramping your style at the Tyler the Creator show. He's screwing it all up. This is time for you to start making out. Mackin, they call it. Mackin with the bros, I think is the phrase the kids use.

[John Holmberg]

Mackin with the hoes.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, absolutely. She would be the hoes. Yeah. She's mackin with the bros. Time for you to spread those wings.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the dots are going here.

[Dale Hellestray]

Making out with some kid named Braden off that album.

[Toledo]

She says it's either him or. Take your mask off.

[Dale Hellestray]

Take your mask off.

[E]

Just take your mask off.

[Dale Hellestray]

Here we go. Brady's gonna be in there.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Cheer.

[Brady Bogan]

Cheer.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

This move. Big guns.

[Dale Hellestray]

Big guns. Oh, you're gonna have the best time.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing to do with you.

[Dale Hellestray]

You need to be. You need to give that ticket to somebody deserves it. You shouldn't be in that pond. Dad, you're killing me. Braden wants to make out in the bathroom. Not on my watch. You watch that guy down there saying horrible cuss words and singing about weed while I'm here. Dan's cramping my style. Let's sneak away and kiss in a corner and do gummies. Let her live. I say, more importantly, live your life better. This is awful for you.

[John Holmberg]

You're not changing your mind, are you?

[Dale Hellestray]

You're gonna go. No.

[Toledo]

I would. No.

[E]

Ronnie's making him go.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, he's being forced.

[Toledo]

Two other friends.

[Dale Hellestray]

You can find two other friends. Hand those tickets away.

[E]

We can find you two friends right now.

[Toledo]

Not given the ticket.

[E]

We could find you two friends.

[Dale Hellestray]

5, 8, 5, 9, 800. If you want to take Kirby to.

[Toledo]

This scholar shipping the other tickets.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right. For 400 a ticket. Because they're low. They were. Oh, they were about five.

[Brady Bogan]

You're right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. 500 bucks a ticket.

[E]

500 bucks a ticket for that?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Yeah, because he wanted the box seats and floor.

[Toledo]

No, that's all that was.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, that was. Yeah, that's true.

[Toledo]

That's all that was the only thing that was available.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, that thing sold out my bike. My guy Dylan down at Footprint Center. Yeah. Found those and said I can get Brady these for. Yeah, because he does it like two grand for four tickets? Yeah. Oh, so if you want to go 550 a ticket. Brady wants to make a little. Get a little juice on this, right? 550 a ticket. You can take Kirby to juice.

[John Holmberg]

You can give Kirby a 100 gift.

[Dale Hellestray]

Card to get dinner.

[Toledo]

No, it includes the food.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it does?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Oh, Kirby will bring the sweet, sweet, sweet smoke, but yeah. You guys, I think it's the one we were at for the Doobie Brothers.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but it is a four seat box, which, I don't know. Like a table, maybe. I guess.

[Dale Hellestray]

Maybe they shouldn't. How was the concert? It was great. Wait, what'd you do? Soaked. Sweet.

[Toledo]

There is no one taking.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's what happens at concerts. I made out with a 16 year old girl at Bon Jovi, and I looked like a weirdo. Concert. Yeah. I was making out with chicks at concerts.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but you weren't soaking.

[Dale Hellestray]

I couldn't soak in public. I tried to soak. She's the one I let suck my armpit because I didn't know what I was Doing? I'll suck anything on your body. Start here. And I made her suck my armpit.

[E]

This might. This might be why he wants to go. Because he has a song called Smuckers Stay hard. That's not saying it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's.

[E]

I can't find a clean version of it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[E]

It's just instrumentals, and I don't know this.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, you're being a good father. I think it's time you stop that. Let this kid make her own mistakes.

[John Holmberg]

So it's you and Kirby and two of her friends right now.

[Toledo]

One friend. There's one ticket available.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Toledo]

Tyler the Creator, you know. Trade requests.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I want to thank all y'all for coming. Kirby D'Herbs. What's up there? Thanks for bringing Wilford Brimley. I didn't know he was still alive.

[John Holmberg]

Bring out Brady's morning cup. What kind of services do you need at home?

[Toledo]

That's what I told her because they were offering stuff to her.

[Dale Hellestray]

You got barter going on for that, Kirby? Yeah, Kirby was.

[Toledo]

Girls were coming to her. I'm like, I.

[Dale Hellestray]

You've talked. Kirby. Your wife.

[Toledo]

Coach bags.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, what are we doing? Kirby's not really into the bags, is she?

[Toledo]

No, she's.

[Dale Hellestray]

But your mom is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Kirby D'Herbs. I know what's really going on here. Ronnie's worried that Kirby's gonna bring home Lamont if she goes alone with that music. You can't have that in Gilbert. I met your daughter at the Tyler the Creator show, and I'm gonna get her pregnant. How old are you, Lamont? 31.

[Toledo]

31.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh. How did you meet her again? Fifth hour.

[John Holmberg]

No, he'd be one of those.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're in class with her. Well, yes and no. I show up, he'll be one of.

[John Holmberg]

Those football transfers at the new ala. All Star.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yep.

[Toledo]

All Star.

[Dale Hellestray]

Gilbert took a kid to Maryville, y'all. Crackers is weird. Give me the bop. Ran for another 240 yards in the first half.

[E]

Can he find a clean versions of half his music?

[Dale Hellestray]

You're gonna hate this. Stop being such a good dad and let her spread her wings. If she gets.

[E]

She's gonna be playing the song. Here's Magic Wand.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, if. I'll tell you this because we put this kind of pressure on you. If she gets human trafficked, we'll buy the next one.

[Toledo]

Okay?

[Dale Hellestray]

We'll get you. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'll kick you.

[Dale Hellestray]

We'll be very apologetic if she's human trafficked. And we'll get you a new one. Mumble Rap. I can't stand it.

[Toledo]

He's not as mumbling.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's pretty mumbling.

[Toledo]

You kind of sell me on a Brett.

[E]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Dale Hellestray]

Why don't you have Mo from kdkb Taker.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there you go.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's safe.

[Toledo]

We'll talk about weed.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's what I'm saying, right? Be happy. She'd want to be with her happening. You'd have somebody, a co worker keeping an eye on her. But you know, at least she's having a good time with somebody that is of like mind, you know, Pothead likes Tyler the Creator. Anyway, we set our peace, boy.

[John Holmberg]

Boys, that's it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Maybe if Brady got two generators, he'd give those tickets up. I know, lady. Not the one you owe him. That's his to begin with. That doesn't.

[Toledo]

Finally came back.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Did you get it?

[Toledo]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, that's how you would get it.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Jesus. All right. Well, Bert, hopefully there's no Tyler the Creator on the list, but what do you got on the big.

[E]

I would delete that.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm with you, man.

[E]

All right. Wake up song brought to you by Action Ride Show. Head on over to the main store over there in Gilbert Road and Southern. Pick up all the gear you're gonna need to go up north and get the snowboarding, the skiing in. And I believe we figured out the grand opening of store number two over there on.

[Dale Hellestray]

We got a date.

[E]

I believe it is February 22nd.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yep.

[E]

So we're gonna be hanging out there out with you guys and checking out all the new bikes and the new pad there from Josh and the boys.

[Dale Hellestray]

So.

[E]

Action rideshop.com follow them on all socials. They'll keep up with you and keep you up to date. And of course, here we go. You knew all these songs were coming in.

[Brady Bogan]

Kenny.

[E]

Loggin's danger zone, Megadeth, hangar 18. Yeah. And now. Now it's Leonard Skynyrd. That smell. Because they weren't playing.

[Dale Hellestray]

We can't be flying. 24 hour rule that we can talk about it. We can't make fun of it, like immediately. With music.

[E]

Anything from Buddy Holly?

[Dale Hellestray]

No.

[E]

John Denver's Rocky Mountain High, Faith no more, Falling to pieces, Iron Maiden, Aces high.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're the worst.

[E]

Avenged, Buried Alive, Metallica Trapped under Ice. Because they're in the Potomac.

[Toledo]

You don't need to go.

[Dale Hellestray]

Let's go.

[E]

Learn.

[Toledo]

Show me what you got.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. The one that doesn't apply. Yeah, yeah. We'll just go with the power. Man. That doesn't have anything to do with.

[E]

Oh we forgot free falling.

[Dale Hellestray]

And learn to fly. And the matter with you guys? We're the bad ones. Come on. I'm getting one star reviews at Four Peaks for being a jerk. It's Power Man. Show me what you got. I don't know what this is about but it could be something. We might as well play Tyler the Creator at this point just to punish these people. It's Power Man. It's your wake up song. It's 98.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Toledo]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellestray]

Getting a lot of videos of Tyler the Creator right now. Brady. You might want to look into Kirby's collection. Evidently this dude does a little porn on the side as well. So not know that. Kirby's a big fan.

[Toledo]

Who doesn't John though. You know.

[Dale Hellestray]

Fact. You know we came up with the idea for this Tyler the Creator thing. Brady just drops Kirby and her friend off.

[E]

Don't wreck it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Now we go to. Oh yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Do that.

[Toledo]

It's a great idea.

[E]

Ronnie's listening.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

She can't go. Brady and I go to the Rah Rah. Just sit it out while Kirby and her friends dance around inside the arena. Essentially all you need Brady to do is sit outside and sleep in the car and wait for her to come out. Right.

[E]

We're just gonna sleep through the show anyway.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right? Nothing difference. We wouldn't even buy the ticket. Nothing bad's gonna happen in the arena. Would be outside the arena.

[Brady Bogan]

So you just wait for.

[Toledo]

Right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Do like my dad. I'm here at 9:00. If you're not here you're going to get in big trouble. And I'd stand up there at 8:58 making sure he'd come back from wherever the hell he went. I'm pretty sure Dan was supposed to hang with me a few times and bailed. I got stuff I got to do. I'm gonna go to the office. You just sit at this stupid concert. You didn't want to go see any of the stuff I liked. What's a faster cat? Was it a Tom Jones tribute band? Exactly.

[Toledo]

Enjoy that Linda Ford Motley Crue.

[Dale Hellestray]

They look like a bunch of ladies. Oh boy. Figures. Figures. The twink's gonna go watch some boys flit around on stage like a bunch of Hollywood bad at 7:59. Let's get right to it. It's the Brady Report. All the news that only Brady knows. And then we say, brady, report it.

[Toledo]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National Croissant Day. You know why it's shaped like the Kashant?

[Dale Hellestray]

Has that it's a half moon or crescent moon because it was created in.

[Toledo]

Turkey and so the like. Yep. And the French stole it.

[E]

I can never chance frogs.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. Well, he's not wrong.

[Toledo]

The Sutter family from Viking, Alberta, Canada. It's a basis. Fun fact here.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Had seven boys. Six of them went on to be NHL players in the 70s and 80s. And the seventh won $10 million in the lottery.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is that right?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wasn't one of them one of the St. Louis Blues? He was actually really good. There was a few of them that were really good, actually.

[Toledo]

Women? Women blink more often than men. Women blink an average of 19 times per minute. Men 11 times. I've come in with the shirt before. It's a retro shirt. The Shaky's Pizza.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Was founded by a guy named Sherwood Johnson. His nickname was Shaky because he got malaria during World War II, which left him with nerve damage and made him shake.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's like what we do with Thriller. We nicknamed him Something Funny and he made a lot out of it. Thriller should start a restaurant or a pizza parlor. Hello. Welcome to Thriller's Pizza.

[Toledo]

Thriller's Griller.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're gonna get sued, kid. Until I do. Enjoy. Enjoy your pie.

[Toledo]

No Point in Michigan is more than 85 miles from a great lake.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're not gonna deliver the pizza. It's gonna take forever. Your order will be ready in 88 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Some of the pizza might slide off.

[Dale Hellestray]

He doesn't shake. He's not Shaky. He's Thriller. It's just the walk that's gonna take a while. He's dragging that foot behind him. He's totally steady. I trust him to carry stuff. I just don't trust that it's gonna get there on time. Domino's would have fired him. The first pizza, 30 minutes or less. That's impossible. It takes him that long to get in the car. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You have to come out to his car to get your pizza.

[Dale Hellestray]

You have to just go to Domino's to get your pizza. Pizza.

[Toledo]

In honor of Groundhog Day, the NOAA national oceanic and Atmospheric Administration put together some stats on the groundhogs from across the US to see who's been the most accurate over the past couple of.

[Dale Hellestray]

Decades with this 50. 50 proposition.

[Toledo]

I'll just tell you. Punxsutawney Phil came in at 17th.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wow.

[Toledo]

He's accurate. 35% of the time.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is it. We have a lizard up in, like, somewhere here that we do that.

[John Holmberg]

17 animals that predict weather.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

We have. We have something Nobody knows about us here.

[Toledo]

Yeah, they didn't and didn't make the list.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, because it's dumb.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's always nice here. We don't care if there's more winter. We want more winter.

[Toledo]

Winter coming in at number 14, I won't go all the way up. But at 14th place with a 50% accuracy is poor Richard, a taxiderm groundhog out of Pennsylvania.

[John Holmberg]

He's a dead one.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, they just. Does he see his shadow? No, he's dead.

[Toledo]

There's a couple of taxiderm.

[Dale Hellestray]

Dub, if you had a dead animal that couldn't see its shadow that shot one, always six more weeks of winter. You'd probably be right on the same pace as the guessing game that the real punks of Tony Phil does. Because it's a 50. 50. You're playing with chance here.

[Toledo]

On the top of the number two, General Beauregard Lee out of Georgia. His accuracy is 80%.

[Dale Hellestray]

Also a groundhog. Yes.

[Toledo]

Number one is Staten Island Chuck out of New York.

[Dale Hellestray]

His accuracy, it's like it's gonna be cold for another six weeks, huh? Hey, get your nips out. Thanks, Staten Island Chuck. No problem. Staten Island Chuck is just a really hairy dude that pokes his head out every once in a while. People think I'm a groundhog because I'm 5ft tall, covered in hair. Anyway, looks like your nips are gonna be stone hard until March.

[E]

So Pennsylvania's got two of them.

[Dale Hellestray]

A dead one and a living one.

[Toledo]

You got pencil?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, Pittsburgh's fine.

[Toledo]

The rest, you've got Woodstock Willie out of Illinois. He's a 60% accuracy. Buckeye Chuck out of Ohio, of course, 55%.

[Dale Hellestray]

Buckeye Chuck, Staten Island Chuck and Buckeye Chuck, if that's another groundhog. Are they.

[Toledo]

Yeah, they're groundhog.

[Dale Hellestray]

The groundhogs do anything else?

[Toledo]

Concord Charlie out of West Virginia, 65%. Oh, we got another one out of Illinois, Gertie the groundhog. Gertie has a 65% accuracy, so Paxatoni.

[E]

Is not even that high up. And he's the famous one, right?

[Dale Hellestray]

He's the first.

[John Holmberg]

So do all these places just keep recycling the new one when the old one dies? There's one or whatever.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, it's the same thing as, like, college mascots like Ugga. There's.

[Toledo]

Yeah, there's, like, Ugga8.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, we got a bunch of them. Then that buffalo up In Colorado. That Ralphie people.

[Toledo]

Yeah, Bevo the Texas Longhorn.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's right. Then they eat him after every year if they don't win a national championship, that Bevo gets eaten. I don't know if that's true or not, but that's pretty, pretty good to do the mascot. If you don't, we gotta eat you.

[Toledo]

Here's a dude in Wildwood, Florida got arrested on Sunday for assaulting his roommate with a bologna sandwich. Christ. 29 year old Aquavius Chandler whipped the sandwich at his roommate while they were arguing about video games.

[Dale Hellestray]

We're not even got a mug shot. I'm not playing.

[E]

That's too easy.

[Dale Hellestray]

You think we need. We need the game. Aquavius. What's his friend's name? If it's Braden, we'll play. If it's.

[Toledo]

If it's also no need to identify.

[Dale Hellestray]

Aquavius is pretty obvious. What?

[Toledo]

But the guy told police he was trying to sleep and he took his PS5 back from Aquavius bedroom because he was being too loud. The sandwich hit him in the center of the chest. It didn't do any damage, but Aquavius got charged with a felony.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay, so it might be a white guy in his room because what a. Because this isn't Aquavius's first rodeo throwing sandwiches.

[Toledo]

He's been arrested multiple times for battery. Including two other attacks that also involved video games. He got upset sandwiches too? Nope. Got upset upset over a video game in 2022 and threatened a 60 year old man with a knife. Then a year later he pleaded no contest after choking out his own sister during a fight that involved gaming. Now he's got the fresh charges. There's 29 year old Aquavius. You got another guy? Jimmy Nunnery.

[Dale Hellestray]

Now we can play. Now we can play.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Jimmy Nunnery is facing second degree murder. Officers found Brian York dead under bushes. Where in Tennessee?

[Dale Hellestray]

Ooh, this is a hard.

[Toledo]

They say his injuries were consistent with an assault.

[John Holmberg]

Eastern Tennessee or western?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Where are we looking?

[Toledo]

Springfield. Let's see. Jimmy Nunnery in Tennessee. It didn't say the town.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is a white crime.

[E]

I'm going hillbilly.

[Dale Hellestray]

I would go white on this one.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going the other way, Bob.

[Dale Hellestray]

You think so?

[John Holmberg]

I got to be anti.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, you gotta. Somebody's got to guess the opposite.

[Toledo]

Jimmy Nunnery.

[Dale Hellestray]

Jimmy Nunnery is Crusty the Clown. He's Crusty the Clown. He's as white as can be. He's got Crusty the Clown's hair.

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't what I was thinking about.

[Dale Hellestray]

It looks like if Carrot Top was a man.

[John Holmberg]

That looks like Sammy Hagar.

[Dale Hellestray]

Sammy Hagar, Top. If Sammy Hagar was a prop comic.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah, we win, Brett, by a lot.

[Toledo]

Last perp.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's the most crackerish cracker I've ever seen.

[Toledo]

This is another one in Tennessee. 40 year old Rod Wilburn.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Was caught allegedly breaking into a home last week and stealing a toilet.

[John Holmberg]

White guy.

[E]

That's white guy.

[John Holmberg]

White guy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

If you're wondering if the seat was up or down, the answer is neither. No, the crapper was still in the box.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, white guy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. It's a white guy.

[E]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

He started. He realized he was busted because he was dragging it out of the house in the yard and he put it back. And that's where he got arrested. Trying to put it back. Like he didn't.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's white guy.

[John Holmberg]

White guys put things back Furious.

[E]

Would have knocked the hell out Trey for stealing a toilet.

[Dale Hellestray]

Exactly. And first off, that was racist. White guys put things back. That's not stealing then, is it? You shut your. I didn't even say that. Put things back. Idiot. He was probably bartering with somebody for Tyler the Creator tickets.

[Toledo]

Here we go. You bigots.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's black. We were way wrong. Sorry. White people. The struggle continues. All these false thoughts. I would have never guessed this. This. You've showed me a picture of him and said he just committed a crime with a toilet. What was it? Wasn't stealing it.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, John, the Navajos look at the moon. If there's a ring around it, it means a few more weeks of cold. So we don't need no animals.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have Ian Schwartz. He tells me what it's going to be like every day for the next 10 days. Yeah, he's got a ring around accuracy. Not. Not great.

[E]

As good as Ponxutaw?

[Dale Hellestray]

It's probably. Yeah, they use science. At least. I mean, it is what it is, is a novelty for a party to get drunk in the middle of February. Fine.

[Toledo]

Ian says if he's wearing more than two rings, it is a couple weeks of winners. Oh, man.

[E]

How many laps are we taking?

[Dale Hellestray]

A lot. He's loving his own stuff over there. Listen. Look at him snorting and giggling. I made a C ring joke about a weatherman that probably owns one.

[Toledo]

You might want to get in on this, John. You're a big fan. Twix. Twix Candy bar.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

They've announced a contest that's running during super bowl where they want you to go to Twix.com on your phone during Every commercial break and compete in a staring contest. The screen will have two gold bars on it with an eye on each one, which apparently belong to the hip hop duo the Yin Yang Twins. They keep track of how long you stare and how many ad breaks you participate. The higher you score, the more contest entries you'll receive. And at the end of it, one winner will receive two actual gold bars worth $170,000.

[Dale Hellestray]

So all I have to do is not watch the crazy.

[E]

It's kind of brilliant.

[Toledo]

Go to Twix.

[Dale Hellestray]

Super brilliant [e-mail]. yeah, I'm writing that down. I'm going to do this. And when is it like you start? Immediately.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

John, don't.

[Toledo]

Or you can stare.

[John Holmberg]

What do you have to stare at again?

[Toledo]

There's gold bars. Two gold bars. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And not look at the commercials.

[Toledo]

Right. Instead of looking at the commercials, you go to Twix.com for four hours.

[E]

No, every commercial break.

[Toledo]

Then we got a Tick Tock influencer. Tick Tock. And Instagram model Emily Bright, she posted a video claiming that she bought a wrap sandwich in New Zealand and it had a knife in it. So she took a couple of bites and then bit into something hard. It was an orange handle. She thought it was a carrot. It was the handle of the knife. It's going viral. You can take a look at her. But I think, you know, this is a smart move, trying to get more.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, smart to bite into the handle of a knife, you moron. I could feel that in the sandwich. By the way, there's a reason Scott Haynes is known as our funniest listener. Ian Schwartz does have a burrowing rodent that helps with weather. It's funny because it's true. That's terrible. Sorry, Ian. I read it. I didn't think it, but I did think it was funny. Channel 3 did that. Ian Schwartz, Groundhog Day. Where is he? Why is he doing that?

[Toledo]

What's Jerry have to say?

[Dale Hellestray]

What's coming out of. Ian.

[Toledo]

Here'S the Instagram model.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's got an. Oh, it's not a very big knife. I expected, like, a real big knife.

[Toledo]

Yeah, it does look like a carrot.

[Dale Hellestray]

It does. I would not have. That's, like, the smallest knife ever. What's its function? Does it. Well, no, it's pretty big. Okay, so that's just a very tip of that hand.

[E]

Like a paring knife.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Okay. When you see it in the sandwich, it does look really little. She took it out and now it's. Yeah. Wow, that's dangerous. Especially if you started on the other side of that wrap. You're gonna eat the blade into that thing first. Ugh.

[Toledo]

Got a couple of radio video. First one's a little bull fighting.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right. We're down there in old Mexico again with the 20 people in a ring with a bull. And a guy's not very good at riding it. He is getting spun. The clowns getting close.

[Toledo]

And just drag him off.

[Dale Hellestray]

He flew him in the air 20ft. That's a good dismount. Wow.

[Toledo]

There is one. I saw other. I. I'm not even showing it.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, just a guy gets tortured.

[Toledo]

Oh. He can't get off the bowl. The bull keeps going. No one can stop the bull.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[Toledo]

It's just mashed.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's too much.

[Brady Bogan]

I love this.

[Dale Hellestray]

I saw this.

[E]

This one too.

[Dale Hellestray]

I want. I want this to happen at every. And I think one of these places.

[Toledo]

Sturgeon fish.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is it?

[Toledo]

Yes.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know.

[Toledo]

But because I saw the.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is your dream tank. This is like a porn to you? It's a. It's one of those restaurant tanks where they have a real live mermaid in there and like some real fish. And a sturge. A good sized fish goes by, bites the mermaid in the head when she skates out of there. That's what you get for pretending to be fish food, dumbass.

[John Holmberg]

With a sturgeon that's bigger than you.

[Dale Hellestray]

Are, dress like they're food and then expect them not to react. What the hell is this? You got the. You put that. You put that mermaid costume on and get in with the fish. I say it's like dressing like a zebra and hanging out with lions. What are you doing? What does this eat other fish?

[Toledo]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

Put the fins on me.

[Toledo]

I'm going in. Last one is wart man.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, God.

[Toledo]

Layered I've ever seen.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's got warts. Oh, he's not wearing a shirt. I thought he had a shirt on. That's all warts.

[Toledo]

That's his.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on.

[Dale Hellestray]

This dude is toes to tip my family. He's growing a mustache because he can't shave. I've never seen anything like this. He looks like crunch Berries. I've been poured all over his body. What do you do there?

[John Holmberg]

Fire.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, just fire. You fire. I'm with you. Oh my God. Why even shop? Just don't wear anything. It's everywhere. It's. It's. There isn't a space on his body that doesn't have a little pink bubble on it. That is.

[Brady Bogan]

That.

[Dale Hellestray]

He looks like. He also looks like something.

[Toledo]

Potatoes are Hanging on.

[Dale Hellestray]

I kind of want to bite that because it looks like crumbles.

[Toledo]

Yeah, crumbles I'm seeing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Kind of looks like a cake I would.

[Toledo]

Potatoes.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Huh.

[Toledo]

Baby fingerling. Wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

Did you just say cake you would eat?

[Dale Hellestray]

If that was. If. If I didn't see.

[E]

It's like a crumble ca.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. If somebody cut his head off and put it on a thing and said, we made head cake, I would try to. I'm like, oh, my God. This isn't crumble cake. This is the wart head. It's so consistent. It looks like it's a. Like, a thing.

[E]

Sounds like a band KDKB would play. No word cake.

[Dale Hellestray]

Word cake.

[E]

No, head cake.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, head cake. Oh, head cake for sure. Cake by the ocean. Yeah, there's a. Head cake's a good band name. That's a good one. Wart cake. Not so much. Head cake. Yes. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[E]

All right, we're. We're mild today.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[E]

But here's a. Think your dad would appreciate this one. Safety at the job site is job number one.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right, we're looking at a surveillance camera guy standing in a road. There's a worker with a hard hat and an orange vest, and a truck is in front of him, kind of going slow, moving along. And here comes a steamroller.

[Toledo]

Yeah, you're right.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's the helmet. And back over the helmet. The helmet fell off and did nothing.

[Toledo]

Yeah, it's not spicy.

[Dale Hellestray]

The helmet does. His last words were, the helmet does nothing. That helmet ran from the. The helmet left the scene.

[E]

Little cell phone action here.

[Dale Hellestray]

Guys in a cell phone store. He's leaning up against the counter getting help from a guy. There's another guy on the other side of the counter behind the counter. He looks at cell phone. He seems, please. He's gonna buy that with a gun. And before he can draw the gun, guy behind the counter shoots him in the tummy. He's still holding his gun. You got to put another one in him.

[Toledo]

That's.

[Dale Hellestray]

They got him. He's all done. Oh, and then a gay guy comes out and does that vapors thing with his hand. What happened again? Oh, my God. God. I'll get him up. Wow. He puts a bullet right in his gut.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

What happened next?

[E]

There's an old man handing out some justice.

[Toledo]

That guy's down because he was going for the gun.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, he's reaching for the gun, so you can. If he probably said absolutely to protect yourself, you felt threatened. If he's Got a gun. But again, make sure he's not telling a story if you're gonna pull that, because if that guy's like, I was. I was just scratching my tummy. And there's a concealed carrier. You can't just shoot somebody to have a gun.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[E]

Now here's another robbery video.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[E]

More surveillance.

[Dale Hellestray]

The guy in some sort of a small, very small bodega, like a convenience.

[E]

Store, like, behind the counter.

[Dale Hellestray]

And there's a guy who looks like Exhibit, and he is about to fight Tyler, the creator. Okay. He's a guy who's about to fight another dude who looks like Hanukkah Harry. And I don't know where the fight's coming. They're arguing or he's got Hanukkah Harry by the head. And now Exhibit's fighting Hanukkah. Harry takes the first one. Oh, his arms bleeding. Did he just bite him?

[E]

No, he pulled a knife out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, he's stabbing. No, stabbing's the worst thing.

[Toledo]

He got him in the neck.

[Dale Hellestray]

Stabbing's the worst thing in the world.

[Toledo]

World got the robber.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, my God. No, I think. I think. Other way around. No. Oh, it was Hanukkah wins with the knife. He cut his own arm.

[John Holmberg]

But Hanukkah was a nom.

[Dale Hellestray]

Look at it. Oh, yeah, he's definitely. He's got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he just had a flashback.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's got some quick reaction time based on the past. Wow.

[E]

All right, sorry.

[Dale Hellestray]

Let's start.

[E]

I forgot to watch this one. This one, I didn't realize.

[Dale Hellestray]

It looks like Dorothy from Oz is walking along in her dress and then gets mad at somebody if she walks past him and then punches a guy and. Oh, that's a girl. Knocks her down. She goes to fight Dorothy. Now we're in a full on park scrum. Dorothy from Oz punching what looks like bad Bobby right in the face. And then she is out. Melee. Dorothy can throw blows. There's a girl in a skirt just kicking the crap out of bad Barbie.

[Toledo]

But not heavy hands.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, heavy hands don't exist here. Just a lot of life. Like, you know, feather duster punches. They look good, but they're not landing with any sort of accuracy or power technique or. The other girl's got a great chin. We can't tell. But Dorothy can throw. Anybody in that dress that fights, you walk the other way. Yeah, evidently, that's a tough look.

[E]

All right, and we'll end with this one, man. Little shopping bras.

[Dale Hellestray]

We're looking at some bras. Blue and white bras with panties. Now we're over in the produce department grabbing an eggplant and a cucumber. She's now in the dressing room with a cucumber. She's taking her panties. She's in the dressing room. And it says, I'm gonna do dirty things with the cucumbers. Yeah, she's gonna pickle it. She said. And then I think I'll put them back. There she is with the produce. Cucumber. It's getting the job done. It's. Now she's smelling it. Oh, she doesn't like the way it smells. And then she spit on it and licked it. She didn't like. Oh. Cause it's in her body. Butt. She put it in her butt. And then she smelled it and made a face. She admits she doesn't. She's got a bad stink. She's not putting the same one back. She's making this up. No, she's. She's. No, to her credit. She's cleaning it off. Oh, she smells it again. Not happy with her own stink. It smells like ash. She says that's the subtitle. And then she laughs because she looks like Amy Schumer.

[Toledo]

And she's gonna put it back in the.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. It's gonna pretend it back.

[Toledo]

Give someone the duke.

[Dale Hellestray]

She's not really doing this or she's going to jail for the rest of her life. She put a unforgivable. Yeah.

[Toledo]

I'm not buying.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't buy that it's the same cucumber because. Oh, now she's going to take a zucchini.

[Toledo]

This is long.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Not going to tell you that.

[E]

Pretty much kind of ends her.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. When she's wearing a mask. So did this happen during COVID She said, I still can't believe I did that. Whatever. Just left that cucumber there. Well, then you're gonna go to jail for a long time. I hope it's real for your sake.

[John Holmberg]

But the mask tells me dressing room.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's those super Targets and stuff and Walmart country there. Yeah, that's right. Well, they do things different over there.

[Toledo]

They do. That's how they put their produce.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's right. That's how you know it's fresh.

[E]

She needs to clean herself up. Apparently, though survives.

[Dale Hellestray]

Ladies, do that test today with your own hands. Give yourself a smell. If your face goes woof immediately. Maybe don't videotape that. Yeah. Little lume for you. Loads o lume. Good God, the world sucks. There you go. That was your Brady report. It's 98.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have heard enough of this. You P.D.

[Brady Bogan]

Homberg'S morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellestray]

The Foo Fighters right there. What did you. Don't say it. I don't know what you just said. I don't know what you just said, but Brady heard. All right. I thought I heard something. Be careful. We're at work.

[E]

No, I watched the lights.

[Dale Hellestray]

Can't curse like that. Good Lord, man. That came out of the blue right as I was turning the mic on. You're dangerous. You're a risk taker. Festle. Normally about now we would have a comedian come in. And today we did not have Ken scheduled. But news broke last night that Ken Flores, who is performing at Desert Ridge and I believe the improv this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think he was doing both.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Has passed away. He died last night and he was supposed to be here. The club has issued a. A statement. But Ken was a. Like a. He was a Mexican Ralphie May. He was kind of a chubby Ralph. I remember he was. It's been a minute since he's been here, but he was fun.

[John Holmberg]

November of 2023 and.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, I won't claim to have known him well or anything like that, but it is shocking news. It's very strange and I don't know that I've found anything yet that has confirmed why he passed away. But if you wanted to go see Ken this weekend, I guess you go to Desert Ridge improv.com and you can figure out what to do if you've got tickets. I don't know how they're doing it. They said they. They're saying it was a heart attack. 28 years old. They said CPR was administered and paramedics got there, but he was pronounced dead at the scene. They don't think anything weird happened, but initially they weren't sure. Assumed heart attack. But 28 years old, even big and fat. 28 years old old. Heart attack is rare. So of course the comments all say COVID vaccine. It doesn't matter. That's a tough one. That's weird because he is a. He was one of those guys that was a kind of an up and comer. He was. He had that weird. You know when the comedians come through here, you have the few that you're like something here. Like you might not be great like on the air and stuff with this and promoting there, but you've got like, you're funny like you just knew he was fun. And I, you know, that's weird just seeing him. And I've gone back while I, you know, the news this morning. I went back and looked at a couple things he did, and he was just good energy. He was just a positive energy. He's a Fun dude, but 28 years old. Passed away at 28. So Ken Flores supposed to be in town here, which is very strange when that happens and it happens in your yard. And I don't know where he died, but he. He clearly here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he would have been in town or on his way because.

[Dale Hellestray]

But it says it was in his residence Tuesday afternoon. So I guess, yeah, he wasn't here yet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Tuesdays, because before I left yesterday, they had. They were putting out announcements.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay. So it was yesterday that we all found it. I thought it was yesterday he died. There's a lot of times the comedians are here Wednesday to do. Right.

[Brady Bogan]

But we never.

[Dale Hellestray]

We didn't have them scheduled.

[John Holmberg]

No, we did not.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay, who did We. So it's just.

[John Holmberg]

They.

[Brady Bogan]

He.

[Dale Hellestray]

He.

[John Holmberg]

He apparently didn't need the help.

[Dale Hellestray]

He was killing it up.

[John Holmberg]

He was. Yeah, he was selling out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, that stinks, because a lot of the young comics are, like, not that much fun. He's. He was. He was a blast. So can he bring a bunch of people with him?

[John Holmberg]

Two guys, I believe.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Did he.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think they were his openers.

[Dale Hellestray]

Of course. Yeah. There was this little.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's like Gabriel when he came in.

[Dale Hellestray]

Gabriel used to bring his whole family. Gabriel. Gabriel almost got us deported. He brought so many Mexicans into this room.

[John Holmberg]

Remember that van he bought?

[Toledo]

Conversion?

[Dale Hellestray]

That giant van to drive. Drive everyone around, PlayStation in the back? Yeah. But, yeah, Ken Florence passed away, so if you've got. He was actually in Los Angeles, so he was at his house. Very strange. But if you have tickets, I guess I don't even like how you even go and get refunds for my money back.

[John Holmberg]

Who's the local guy that Frank always brings out? He'll probably be there.

[Toledo]

George Cantor.

[Dale Hellestray]

George Cantor. I don't think Cantor's gonna take the place of Flores for his crowd. No. No refunds. You get Cantor now in the ultimate comedy, Betrayal.

[E]

Gilroy's probably available.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, Gilroy is most definitely available.

[John Holmberg]

Double betrayal.

[Dale Hellestray]

And you know what would happen? All the Ken Flores fans would die that night because they killed himself. It's tough to see a comedian go, but it's especially tough when they're young like that. Don't see anybody like that, though. But. And another ultimate, ultimate joke. In his last joke on me in the story I'm looking at the advertisements. Are those goddamn bike racks I bought that I can't put on my wall. The ads on Ken Flores, comedian, passes away at 28. And all the ads around it are those.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you said you found a solution to get them.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I put them back in the box, and I hung the things back where I had them before, where I didn't want them. The first I put the bike racks. Couldn't get them figured out. They kept tearing out of the wall. So I just put it back into the hooks I had on the ceiling that I had puttied over the 31 mistake drills. I had a few pilot holes till I found myself a stud. Yes, I have a stud finder. Doesn't work through plaster that well. It works, but not great. Gonna spend some money on a stud finder. I went out and I got a great stud finder. The most expensive one. Still doesn't go through the old plaster as good. Plus, it's conventional framing. If you don't know what that is measured different, they go the wrong way. They're all going vertical instead of God.

[Toledo]

Which is why it's conventional.

[Dale Hellestray]

Sorry to end Ken's eulogy this way, but Jesus Christ. Can we get, like, little pink dots in the corners of every ceiling so we don't have to scramble find studs when we want to hang stuff? My method is drill until you find one and then putty the holes that weren't right. And you know what? I've never done sand those things again. It's just. It just looks like somebody threw ice cream on my ceiling anyway. That's no fun. So, Ken Floris, if you need your tickets redeemed, I guess you go to desertridge.com or, yeah, improv.com or wherever he was playing. That's sad, not cool. And even worse, Dale Hellas Tray is about to join us today. So we could have used some. Could use some good, you know? Although I will say, as Dale rolls in, very, very, very classy behavior at the Rah Rah room and everything. He was a very good and a payer. He dipped into that wallet twice.

[John Holmberg]

I got 20 bucks. That's the first thing he complains about.

[Dale Hellestray]

I will say this. When it wasn't hit, we went in like, Brady and I went twice. We went before the game, sat down, hung out at a few drinks. Brady was drinking. He asked for Michelob Ultra. I was a little embarrassed. I'm like, here we go, Rube Central I can't bring these riff raffers in here. Ended up. They're like, we don't have Ultra, sir. We're adults. And so he's like, oh, do you like cigarettes? Yeah.

[Toledo]

Peroni.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, she offers Peroni.

[Toledo]

I do like that offer, but the. The spirits. Yeah, But I. I was gonna do, you know, one or two drinks. I'm also not ubering home.

[Dale Hellestray]

And that's right. He was driving. He was very responsible. So we had a beer, and then we piled up some steaks and some stuff, and then we went to watch the game. We came back towards the fourth quarter right before it was all over, and spent some time after. Not a ton, but some afterwards and booze. And Dale and I went before halftime and after. And after was with Kevin Ray and Kevin Ray's whole family, basically. And I noticed. And Tom Sizer, and I noticed that Dale paid for my drinks when it was the two of us. Appetizers when it was the two of us, and then it was eight people. He fired off lobster scampi, like. Like, the most expensive thing on the menu, some side piece stuff, a couple of drinks, and then said, I paid for everything else. I'm leaving. And he left before. So we did pay, but the big order hoofed it. He said, you're not gonna flame me on the air.

[Brady Bogan]

I paid.

[Dale Hellestray]

I was gone. Yeah, you were until that last bit. Shrimp scampi. One to go. One for here. I made him take the. He was gonna leave some shrimp scampi on his plate and go home. Home. Like, you box that up and you bring that home to Brooke. You're gonna box that up and you're gonna take that home. It's a 90 piece of shrimp.

[Toledo]

She's not supposed to.

[Dale Hellestray]

Ray is gonna pay for. She's.

[John Holmberg]

He was on the down low.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Let's try January. Johnny, that doesn't mean. No, all my food has to be dry anyway, so Dale will be in here in a little bit. And I will say the only thing that's keeping Dale behind Brady. And my choice of dates for the glorious rah rah room is speed walking. Dale is a slow walker because he's, you know, slow. His legs don't look right when he walks.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he always texts I'm in the parking lot.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm like, all right, let me give you.

[John Holmberg]

To get down to the door.

[Dale Hellestray]

A Dale story that I love. When you're sick 8. And you're used to just pounding people for a living. When someone says, you can't go there, he just does it anyway, we were walking through the arena and we had to find our way back down the stairs. And somebody goes, sorry, say, you can't go in there. That's closed now for a private event. Now, evidently after the Sun's game. Sometimes they just let rich people have their kids have the court. And you're not allowed to watch that. You can't go back in. So we were with Kevin Ray and we're like, we gotta go back down.

[John Holmberg]

You have to sign an NDA first.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know. And then we went down. Like Dale just kept going, sir, sir, sir. And Dale's. I'm not going all the way around that goddamn building. He starts walking down the stairs and like, if he's doing it, I'm doing it. And we all did it. And security had nothing to say. It was great. It was great.

[John Holmberg]

The same little old lady Usher trying to.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, it was actually a younger guy. But he saw the size of Dale and the ambition that he was going to. He's going to hit these stairs and we're not listening to you. And if you want a problem, I'll give you one. I'm not sure.

[Toledo]

And I'm not dragging him up, right?

[Dale Hellestray]

And yeah. And if he falls down those stairs, he's staying at the bottom of those stairs. But we did, we all went down the staircase we weren't allowed to go down because Dale was just lumbering, massive man. That said, no, these rules don't apply to me. And I appreciated it because I didn't want to walk around there either. Especially with Dale. It would have taken a month. We'd have. We'd have gotten a year older. Brett's going out tonight. He said Eos Fitness on Mayo Boulevard in the loop. Uno0un. The loop 101 is where you go. Mayo Boulevard. That's the new one, right? They just put that thing together. Yeah. EOS Fitness 5. EOS Fitness 5 to 7 o'clock. It said here it says, know what's willpower? Rolling up to the gym even after changing that flat tire. Turn tired into tenacity. They're assuming you're gonna have a flat on the way in. Join now for 25 cents.

[E]

25 cents.

[Dale Hellestray]

You get 30 days for free. Get motivated with a personal trainer. Work out watching big screen movies. And they're exclusive. Movios cinema. And mix it up with the high energy group fitness classes. EOS Fitness is where Brett's gonna go. 5 to 7 o'clock, Mayo Boulevard and Loop 101. Dale's coming in Here in just a little bit. Talk some sports. We got a football free weekend. Good Lord. What are we going to talk about with Dale? Oh, God.

[E]

Like you said, football free.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that's. We'll talk Pro Bowl. It's 98.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellestray]

Look who's joining us. Dale hell is here. What's the matter, tiny Dale?

[Brady Bogan]

You don't hear anything?

[Toledo]

Oh, because you're not.

[Dale Hellestray]

Maybe you're not plugged in.

[Toledo]

Try the volume and the little dial right there.

[Brady Bogan]

Here.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. For crying out loud. Trying to teach Brady how to do swipe texting. Dale's got to learn volume. Yeah, welcome, Dale. Dale Hollister here.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, hold on, hold on. Have my place ready to go. For crying out loud.

[Dale Hellestray]

Hey, speaking of having it ready to go. Yeah, I. I've done my due diligence here, and somehow or another this segment's gonna get sponsored starting next week.

[Brady Bogan]

What's about time.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's what I think. Prestige Billiards is stepping up nice and putting it together. You get. Now, now, don't start saying, where's my pool table? You don't get anything out of it.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll wait till they get to know me.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, yeah, no, then they'll cancel like me.

[Brady Bogan]

I promise.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know Meathead will be like, that's enough of him. But yeah, how about that?

[Brady Bogan]

That's. That. That is awesome. I appreciate downstairs working hard downstairs.

[Dale Hellestray]

What about this fella right here?

[Brady Bogan]

The sweet blonde?

[Dale Hellestray]

I put the work together and then I told Joe what to do. Billiards brings you Dale hell stray, so don't blame us. Play Meathead up at Prestige Billiards while you're getting all your toys.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, now, you told me when I picked you up, by the way, I didn't tell you I wasn't gonna pick up a rose on the way to get again.

[Dale Hellestray]

You pick me up for the rah rah.

[Brady Bogan]

Hopefully your wife would answer the door. And I go, okay, Johnny, come out to play.

[Dale Hellestray]

Did you come to the door? He just blew his horn as he drives into the cul de sac.

[Brady Bogan]

You think I'm gonna walk through the.

[Dale Hellestray]

Door to get a half hour late? Half hour later we're walking back to the car. I gotta lumbering ass up out of the yard. But I was saying I took Brady last night to the exclusive rah rah room. And the only reason Brady beat you in the next eight category is because of speed of walk. He can get in and out of the building. He's quicker. He moves from side to side. He doesn't have to have a chair. It worked out nicely. Although I will say, pleasantly surprised by your behavior. Although.

[Brady Bogan]

Although.

[Dale Hellestray]

One moment. While our sweet Susan, the waitress with the tight bunny, was standing at the table, Dale screams, what'd you take to.

[Brady Bogan]

Get a drink in this dump?

[Dale Hellestray]

And so she's like, I'm right here. And then she goes, we got to keep Tiny happy. She was actually pretty fun.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. No, because her and I had a rapport, John. All night, you were acting like a obnoxious old school girl because you wanted your attention, and not everybody's paying attention to Johnny, and that's not true. And g. Elisa was, like, looking at me. Don't look at him. No.

[Dale Hellestray]

People could talk to you. I think you just started thinking you deserved much more than you were actually earning.

[Brady Bogan]

Just clarify. First of all, you told me what goes on in the Rah Rah room.

[Dale Hellestray]

Stays in the rah. Except for between us.

[Brady Bogan]

Unless you want to break.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, no, no. You and I can talk about what happened with between us. I'm not flaming people there. They serve us food, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no, the service is great.

[Dale Hellestray]

It was amazing. It's a great place. It is.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's an awesome embrace. Can attest to that.

[Brady Bogan]

But. But now, does anybody ever get to rate your performance at the Rah Rah Ru?

[Dale Hellestray]

No, because I'm the member he paid.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean. I mean, first of all, the. The attire was very lack.

[Dale Hellestray]

I told you to dress like an adult. We were going to a son's game. You can go in a sun's game and son's attire.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's what I did in baggy jeans. That.

[Dale Hellestray]

What did you want? Tighter jeans? I'm sorry. My jeans weren't tighter.

[Brady Bogan]

We're on a date, Johnny. Dress to impress. Anyway, so we go there, and all I've heard you say is, I ordered $100 shrimp scampi. You did? $34 per shrimp. No, I dare you to go look at the. At the.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know, because I paid for that one myself.

[Brady Bogan]

You did not. Your buddy picked up the bill, and you.

[Dale Hellestray]

I got half of it.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll split with you.

[Dale Hellestray]

I didn't know. He said, I got this, Tom. And he goes, no, I can't. And I said, well, I can't let you pick up the whole bill for everybody. You don't even know these people. People. Especially the guy leaving with all the shrimp Scampi. The only one that ordered an entree is walking away with bags. You're leaving like you went shopping at Balenciaga.

[E]

Doggy bags out of the rah rah.

[Brady Bogan]

I had one trip.

[E]

Have some class. Dale, what are you doing?

[Brady Bogan]

You would have thought John was feeding them.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's not Outback.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't leave that on the plane.

[Dale Hellestray]

I said bring that home to your wife. They're $34.

[Toledo]

One shrimp home.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, you finished that? It's this big. They're this big. He thinks they were. He thinks they were $10 each. The shrimp. Each one was this big.

[Brady Bogan]

$34 for. For the thing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Each shrimp.

[Brady Bogan]

Meanwhile.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, for Christ sake.

[Brady Bogan]

Before the game and at halftime, this Guy's eating some $40 dish that looks like pina dog chow.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's the wagyu wagyu tar.

[Brady Bogan]

The wagyu tartar. I'm like, that looks like pina moon dog.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, because you're. You don't have a refined palette.

[Brady Bogan]

That's $40 a pop.

[Dale Hellestray]

And he says, delicious, delicious. And I was offering. Offering to you. And you're like, I'm not eating that. So he ordered wieners in a blanket as class. Class follows class. And you guys. Shrimp cocktail. That's true. And do we get more.

[Brady Bogan]

Some of your appetizers after the.

[Dale Hellestray]

The hot dog. The hot dogs.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know who.

[Dale Hellestray]

You crushed a few of those. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got. I think Kevin and those are good, right? Yeah, everything's good. Yeah, we had a good one.

[Brady Bogan]

Everything's good. Everything's a 10.

[Dale Hellestray]

And you don't need to start screaming and yelling. Just say, thank you for inviting me.

[Brady Bogan]

I did. I said that night.

[Dale Hellestray]

And then look at you now.

[Brady Bogan]

I wake up by Monday and I'm getting phone calls. Why did you break Johnny's bank?

[E]

You didn't break my bank.

[Dale Hellestray]

I never said that. That's a misunderstanding.

[Brady Bogan]

What? No. Came out of your mouth.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, I never said that. I said you were a very good payer.

[Brady Bogan]

Strip stabby.

[Dale Hellestray]

You were a very good payer.

[E]

He did say that. He did give you props on the air.

[Dale Hellestray]

He said that you said you were down two times, you looked nice two times. He bought the first round. He bought the appetizers at halftime. And then at the end, he ordered all the food off the menu and left early.

[Brady Bogan]

Ordered a shrimp stampy and one step. Seven and seven.

[Dale Hellestray]

Because I was driving with somebody else's turn.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I'm driving. Can I get it to go 7 and 7.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's what he said.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no. It's not my turn to buy, so I'm not gonna have anything anyway.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, Brady, you just went up another notch on. Because I haven't heard you whine like a.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't. You don't disparage him.

[Dale Hellestray]

You didn't do anything crazy like at the end get a filet to go for Kirby. Well, he didn't. You're the one walking out with Togo and I can do about that. Oh, and then the way we saw you, cuz we all stayed at the table cuz you jetted early and Kevin Ray bumps me and he goes look over there in the candy room and there's an open bag. And then he's just shoveling candy off the shelves into that bag. We saw you in the candy.

[Brady Bogan]

I got. Well, I didn't know there was Junior mints, so I got. I got one box.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, we saw the bag open. Stuff flying in there like it's Christmas morning and Santa's loading the sled.

[Brady Bogan]

Johnny goes pulling the jars long after the game. Johnny, this is the best thing in here. Look at all this free candy.

[Dale Hellestray]

It is. I took four or five last night and a diet coke on the way out. I got that free candy room.

[Brady Bogan]

I took one box of Junior mints and then it was very delicious for. Right on.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But anyway.

[Toledo]

Cleanse the palate.

[Brady Bogan]

And the other thing I need to clear up because again, you disparage me so often I can't defend myself. The fact that a thousand sixty year old women. The numbers.

[Dale Hellestray]

Here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

The legitimate number we asked ao. All right. When my buddies know all this artificial intelligence. The probability a room of thousand women. 60 year olds. All shapes and sizes.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Just how many are going to be interested in Dale walk?

[Dale Hellestray]

If he walks in immediately walking in.

[Brady Bogan]

And it said 700. It said 962.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh yeah. They'd all look.

[Brady Bogan]

Would look and be interested.

[Dale Hellestray]

Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

Remember every segment of popularity there'd be some lesbians there and there'd be some wheelchair bouncing.

[Dale Hellestray]

So the people that are interested in you are crippled or lesbian.

[Brady Bogan]

The ones that aren't interested.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's what I just said. The only ones that are like off the menu.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Dale Hellestray]

Are crippled or lesbian.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. Now the ones that are in the wheelchair are jealous because they wish they could have me.

[Dale Hellestray]

But wow.

[Toledo]

962.

[Dale Hellestray]

What picture from what year did you feed AI into believing that 90% of a room wants to be standing there in my.

[Brady Bogan]

Had me in my slacks on my ass.

[Dale Hellestray]

You sure 96% of a room can't get enough of Just visually seeing garbage.

[Brady Bogan]

I want a piece.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I'll even go as far as say I'm guessing 0 but to. But to soothe your very fragile ego. 10 cuz they're 62 years old.

[Brady Bogan]

Although. Although. 55 year old woman 52 said no, they're 750.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, but she's crazy. That's. That's crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

They're gonna be crazies in this.

[Dale Hellestray]

But there's not 750 crazy librarians in.

[Brady Bogan]

There with their hands folded.

[Dale Hellestray]

So you think that if you're right, there's only.

[Toledo]

There's a thousand crazy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay, if there was this argument, if there was a Spencer for 60 year old women that there would be a poster of.

[Brady Bogan]

You are so ridiculous.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, you're the one saying that 96 of them want to see it. That's it.

[Toledo]

That's what AI say.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

So Spencer, old lady Spencer at Sun City has posters of guys that look like you.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, hey, John, it's okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, just answer that question. You know that's not true, John. It would be the worst selling poster in the history of old lady posters. You were mad that Buddy Hackett would outsell you.

[Brady Bogan]

You were mad that JG Alisa was paying attention to me.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, I was telling the staff, look, deal with me. Only it's going to get embarrassing if he starts talking. You're going to wonder what why I brought the riff raff. So just. We just go through me. I'll. I'll facilitate.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, have you seen him around this girl?

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, there's none of this like.

[Brady Bogan]

A babbling idiot because I'm nervous that.

[Dale Hellestray]

You'Re gonna get me kicked out. So I'm nice to the entire staff. I'm like, all right, everybody just calm down. Come to me and. And we'll deal with this. And then you're like, I want to.

[Brady Bogan]

Talk to you about your parents.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I get. Just leave her alone. So it's not likes to dive in. I'm protecting my interest and my investment.

[Brady Bogan]

What happened to your head?

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.

[Brady Bogan]

You have any interesting tattoos around your genitalia?

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay, please stop talking to the staff daily.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you got a crush on every.

[Dale Hellestray]

I can't talk to any of them. I'm like, no, I just don't want you talking out loud.

[Brady Bogan]

We got. We got drinks bought for us, you know, so there's a little mystery there, Early.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's true.

[Brady Bogan]

Early.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Who did that? I forgot a couple of ladies.

[Brady Bogan]

It wasn't what we were.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, it turned out a Guy who loves the show.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, exactly. Got three teeth.

[Dale Hellestray]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

And he was a guest of a guest.

[Dale Hellestray]

And he told me. He said, hey, if it wasn't. He said to me, I want to get these drinks for you. Because the first night I was here, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have done so well on my date. She was a big. A big fan.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

And then.

[Brady Bogan]

Did she have any tattoos?

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm like, just ignore the oath.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I would hate to see what that looked like.

[Dale Hellestray]

And then you're like, you want all the attention? Like, no, I just don't want you talking to the people.

[E]

She got the guy laid, basically.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[E]

Nice.

[Brady Bogan]

But you don't know what she looks like.

[E]

I did.

[Dale Hellestray]

I saw her. Beautiful.

[Brady Bogan]

No, John, come on.

[Dale Hellestray]

Did you see her?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but I don't think he saw her either. And again, when you lead off with a. She's a. She is a big fan of the show.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. She's.

[Brady Bogan]

That paints a picture of the woman.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right. And it's pretty similar to what I'm seeing walk into a room. According to 90 Man, 96% find her attractive. Yeah, she was a very pretty lady. And I was surprised. My God, you guys.

[Brady Bogan]

And it was very nice to look at.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, he was in. He's a decent looking guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, please.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not the 96 percentile.

[Dale Hellestray]

Unbelievable.

[Brady Bogan]

Just start calling me. 96% said he has.

[Dale Hellestray]

I've got a picture of a lady that says, I would bang Dale. And I believe that maybe that's true.

[E]

Finally.

[Dale Hellestray]

Pretty accurate picture of a woman who. Yeah, that's a good photo. No, I. I keep it. I have a concierge there that keeps her eye on me, make sure we're happy. There's a lot of people helping out. I don't need you ruining that. So I'm very. I. I wasn't worried about Brady. He behaved himself beautifully. And.

[Brady Bogan]

And were you? Honestly, were you worried about it?

[Dale Hellestray]

Not really.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

I was a little, but then I kind of calmed it down a little bit. I was a little nervous. You were getting a little loud.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't think I've been to nicer places in the ra?

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't think you're allowed in nicer places at all.

[Toledo]

You should, unless you're working.

[Dale Hellestray]

And if you are, I assume you have somebody, it's a couple days later.

[Brady Bogan]

Going, why did you get all that attention? You weren't scared?

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm like, no, no. It was that. And you said it when we were in Our seats. That I was being a C word to you about With a Y, though.

[Brady Bogan]

C word With a Y?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're calling me a C word with a. Yeah, because I was.

[E]

Called you a C word.

[Dale Hellestray]

You brought him a whole bunch of times. Because every time I was this little petulant of a girl, anyone that talked to me, I would. Or if I engaged myself in any conversation that Dale was in where you gotta get all the attention because I become engaged and people turn their attention to me because I saved them from.

[Brady Bogan]

Conversation with them calling out my name in the section.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, and that was the other thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's because you're on my show.

[Dale Hellestray]

Nobody recognizes you.

[Brady Bogan]

They're football fans.

[Dale Hellestray]

If they are, they don't know who the long snapper is from 1954's Dallas Cowboys.

[Brady Bogan]

I was more than a long snapper.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're like, hey, Bubba Smith. That's right. You know how you get recognized? Aren't you the guy that used to stand behind Troy Aikman a lot? Lot on the sidelines? That's the only way they'd know your name.

[Brady Bogan]

That is.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, that's true. That's the. But you. They wouldn't know your name or go, hey, Dale, the reason they know you is because you were with me.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm kind of a big deal.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. When he started calling me a C word and then getting all over me for having conversations with anybody was when somebody said Dale when he sat in my seats, I'm like, that guy knows me. He's talked to me before. And he now, because he listens to the show, knows that I brought you to the. My seats. And then you said that some reason.

[Brady Bogan]

When you asked that girl about a thousand women and she said it's about 750, and you just completely dismissed.

[Dale Hellestray]

That was Tom Sizer's wife, Sisquatch, who runs around our golf tournament nickname. That's what we call her because she's like seeing a. A Sasquatch run through the. Like, it's naked. So spotting her naked on the golf.

[Toledo]

Very natural.

[Brady Bogan]

What's her name?

[Dale Hellestray]

Colette.

[Brady Bogan]

Colette.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

That's much prettier than Sisquatch.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, of course it is. But Sasquatch is more accurate when you're on a golf course and go, what the hell's that over there running through the. And it's a naked lady. Lady.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. She runs down the coast.

[John Holmberg]

Can I be the needle to this bubble?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes, here it is.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you put an ugly picture of me in there?

[Dale Hellestray]

It says on Gemini AI Advanced Gemini.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Acting as a sociologist is the question Toledo put in. Tell me, in a room of 1,000 women of all races and backgrounds age 60 to 64, how many would say they are attracted to former NFL football stars star Dale Hellestray? It says it's tough to give an exact number as attraction is a super personal thing. But here's what we can consider. Dale Hellstray's age in his early 60s, so he might appeal to women in that same age group who rep or who appreciate someone their own age. That's a check for you. Football player image. Some women are drawn to athletes, but others might not care and be turned off by first glance is the key. This means looks matter initially if he fits conventional, handsome standards. No.

[Brady Bogan]

What do I have? What's my spouse. You're calling. What. What did. What did the carpet lady say?

[Dale Hellestray]

The carpet lady? You call her but lady. Jesus Christ.

[Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

She has carpet on her head.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is why I didn't let him talk to anybody and why he was.

[Brady Bogan]

Saying, why are you gonna be so seaworthy.

[Dale Hellestray]

On her? First off, I tell her she has carpet for hair. I wouldn't hide that.

[Brady Bogan]

What did Colette say? And another thing that you have going for you, Dale, what did she say? Remember what you said?

[Dale Hellestray]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

She said you have small ears.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, she did say small ears. That's proof she's not.

[Brady Bogan]

Older guys got these big. Brady.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right, here we go. Rough guess. He's just throwing it around. A rough. A rough guess. Maybe 10 to 20% of 1,000 women would find him attractive at first sight. This is without a picture. Picture.

[Brady Bogan]

But wait till I talk.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Then we'll cut that in half. So maybe 100 to 200 women, but it's a very broad estimate. When does that happen?

[Toledo]

How they got that to 90?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Delusional. He's insane.

[Brady Bogan]

I put in some different parameters.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Did you put a picture of George Clooney in your search? Good Lord.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know why I looked like Brad Pitt in that picture.

[Dale Hellestray]

But anybody that said anything to Dale, that I'm like, well, that guy. All I had to do is tell him reality, Dale, they recognize me. I'm like, they're not recognizing from football. You're sitting with me. That guy knows me. No.

[Brady Bogan]

How come you're gonna be such a.

[Dale Hellestray]

C word about everybody? Why do you need all the attention? Like, I'm not even asking for attention.

[Brady Bogan]

Neither was I. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Brady pointed out last night as we walked into the arena. Guy goes, hey, Brady, I walk by first he goes, hey, Brady. And he gives him a fist bump. And Brady goes, I think it's because people think you're just gonna shred them. He didn't say. I'm like, I don't. I don't care if you don't say hi to me. It doesn't bother me. I don't need that.

[Brady Bogan]

They're not approachable.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, no, that's fine. Good. By design. I don't need the false attention that you crave so desperately.

[Brady Bogan]

It was the way you acted.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, it's not. I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

I just should not be recognized. But, John, when you look like me, it's hard. It's hard not to be recognized.

[E]

He does point there.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Brett is taking that literally. And I have to say, Dale, that's the most true you have ever been. When. When I. When people look like you, heads turn.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Because not necessarily for all the right reasons.

[Toledo]

First lady that. That works there said, hey, where. What was the name of that brontosaurus you brought in last week?

[Brady Bogan]

Brady. Your horse. Not in that. Yeah. Whenever Brady tries to throw out his. His horse.

[Dale Hellestray]

It didn't. No. That needed a construction zone.

[Brady Bogan]

But, hey, I did get your shortcut down to the cor Court. That's pretty good. You know, I thought they knew who you were. We're watching, boss.

[Dale Hellestray]

We were with Kevin Ray. We were. We were with Kevin Ray, and we didn't get any cachet in that building. Like, Dale had to just bulldoze through the curtains that they'd closed on us. Not turn around. And he just went down the stairs. Yeah. You're not doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope.

[Dale Hellestray]

Sorry, muchacho. I think was the thing. We just kept walking. I'm just. I'm just gonna follow the ogre. I don't think anybody's gonna stop us. That was weird. Right after the Sun's game ended, they shut everything off. Off.

[Brady Bogan]

Close the curtain and close the curtain.

[Dale Hellestray]

So you can't go down there. It's a private event. It was just a bunch of kids shoot around with their rich parents. Like, why can't people walk by this?

[Brady Bogan]

And we had that. Our. Our row was right there to get back in the railroad room.

[Dale Hellestray]

I didn't understand.

[Brady Bogan]

I go, I ain't walking all the way around.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And you didn't. And the guy was like, no, I'm sorry, sir. We all stopped like decent citizens, and I'm the C word. But he just kept walking, like. And all you hear, out of the way, chachi. Move it, muchachu. Sir, sir, sir. There's Nothing we can do. Don't scare him. So, anyway. Well, there it is.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, d. Have a fun night, John. I appreciate.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know we got time. Had a fun night, too. I did. I enjoyed myself very much. Gets so loud. Oh, that's time.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you ever print any positive emails?

[E]

When I get one, I will. I promise.

[Dale Hellestray]

Can we get Brett the. The. The. The segment's sponsored now. Can we get a theme song like Crying Like a by Godsmack for Dale when he walks around so Jabba the Hutt wouldn't bang Dale? What's he talking about?

[Toledo]

Wow. He knows Jabba.

[Dale Hellestray]

No retort for you. We got to take a break. Dale segment is here, brought to you by prestige billiards. It's 98. We'll talk sports next.

[Brady Bogan]

Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellestray]

So they're gonna fill the time. Oh, that's good. We just got. We don't know if it's true or not, but Brett Ernst is a great comedian, and evidently he's gonna fill in at Desert Ridge. We love Brett or Brent?

[E]

Brett.

[Dale Hellestray]

Brett. I always confuse that because my paisan. Yeah, because I call you Bert and Brett.

[Brady Bogan]

And.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is it Brent or Brett? Matt.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Brett's the best. He's great. Ernst is hilarious. So if he can fill in for Ken, that would be pretty magnificent. Yeah. One of the comedians passed away. Yes. Yesterday. That was performing at Desert Rich.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, how old?

[Dale Hellestray]

28. What?

[Brady Bogan]

What happened?

[Dale Hellestray]

Cardiac arrest. He was a big guy, but his heart stopped. Yeah. And he's actually. He's been raving about how sober he is now for the last few months, and he's going through the whole tour without drinking and doing anything, so he's been pretty proud of himself. Wow. So it's extra credit.

[Brady Bogan]

That sucks.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, it's not good. So there you go. This. No, it was a Tanya Harding joke. I thought it was something else. People are very excited about them now feeling that they can get in the rah rah room. If Dale behaved this way at the rah rah, and I say he behaved well. But your behavior today is making me reconsider. Yeah, for sure. Now let's talk sports for five seconds.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

The Suns are the worst thing in the world to watch, and I've said it for years, they got to trade everybody. I'm done talking about it. They're never going to do it. They're not a player away. Like, they think. This team is just no fun to watch. Last night they played three quarters. Brady and I went back. We're watching the fourth quarter in the middle of them, like, I hate this team. Let's go. Let's go do something else. With three minutes left. Because once they gave the lead up, the game was over.

[Brady Bogan]

They played hard for a half.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then also Minnesota ratcheted up a notch. It got physical with them and they wilted away.

[Dale Hellestray]

They're soft and they're hard to watch and there's no leadership. Have you ever been on a team where no one's spoken to the coach for two months?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I. That absolutely blows my mind.

[Dale Hellestray]

If that happens, happened as one of.

[Brady Bogan]

The players, I would have a conversation.

[Dale Hellestray]

Who would have been the one? If you had an offensive lineman and the Cowboys and they're not talking to Jimmy or Barry Switzer and you had that problem with Troy and Barry.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Troy and Barry didn't talk. Who was the. Who was the go between?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, actually, I was a couple times.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I was quote unquote, one of Troy's good friends. And I thought, he's acting ridiculous. And I. Oh, really? And again.

[Dale Hellestray]

And was it Troy not talking to Barry more than Barry? Oh, okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. Because again, Troy put everything on Barry. Whereas in my mind, Deion Sanders was part of this concert.

[Dale Hellestray]

There was a lot of problems.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. A lot of problems going on.

[Dale Hellestray]

But he blamed Barry Switzer.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. And. And he was so tickled. I think I've told you before him and I kind of gotten fist.

[Dale Hellestray]

You punched.

[Brady Bogan]

Because he thought Shan Gailey was the end all. To end all.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And I said, well, let's wait and see.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you just always playing devil's advocate.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, I'm saying I kind of relate to Troy now.

[Brady Bogan]

I said we haven't. We haven't played. Why are you being so seaworthy, Troy?

[Dale Hellestray]

Can't I have an opinion too? Oh, Christ, here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but to go, especially in a 12 person locker room.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

To not talk for two months.

[Dale Hellestray]

To have superstars on that team that are one. It's his last gasp. He's 36 years old. He better start looking around the room going, I'm not in a good spot here if this keeps up. And Kevin Durant needs to say something. He's not a leader. Devin Booker needs to say them. Not a leader. Nobody else in that team has the gas.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm going to tell you so. I had lunch with my offensive line coach in Dallas two days ago. He lives out in Gold Canyon now. Living the good life. Drives a little sports car and all that. He made a lot of money. Good for him and great for Him. But he coached Cowboys offensive line for 10 years. Him and I became good friends because I was closer to his age than the young guys. His age. Whatever. But he was telling me, he said Mark 2 and A was kind of like that guy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

He would come into his office on his own and say, hey, Hud, I just need to tell you the way you're dealing with this guy is not the right way to deal with.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's what the mob has a guy that tells the big boss, hey, I'm gonna risk my reputation to tell you you're doing something wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

And, and, and, and Hud said, you know what? First time he did it, I was like, well, I don't know if that's your place. But then I started thinking about. I said he was right. He said, he probably did it three or four times over seven, eight years. And. And every time he came in, I listened because he was right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

Who was it on the sun? Who? How on earth does somebody not say knuckleheaded Holbrook guy? Get in the room, nerd. Get in the room. We're gonna. We're gonna figure this nonsense out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Holbrooke. Holbrook, guys. He's from Holbrook. That's how the old brain works.

[Brady Bogan]

We're gonna figure this out. That's nonsense.

[Dale Hellestray]

You gotta sit him down and make them talk. And at the very least, get the gm. The gm Jones needs to get in there and go, guys, I'm not paying you to create the best soap opera in Phoenix history. I'm paying you to. And then his eyes off the ball because there he is, trading WNBA players right now. Knock it off.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, that's important. Hey, I think they've already moved on. Maybe.

[Dale Hellestray]

Maybe they got rid of Britney. 24 hours, she's gone. I don't care. It's a better place. I feel the sun's a little cleaner and the air is a little nicer and everything's better with Britney gone. Plus, you know, there's not enough weed smoke in the air.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll let you.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't. I don't like her. She's a traitor. It's a terrible, terrible thing. Not a hero. She spent time in jail.

[Brady Bogan]

People who say she's a hero, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

They keep saying she was unjustly imprisoned. And I'm like, for what? Exactly. What they accused her of and what she did. I'm not a big Russia fan, but right's right. When they said, this is our rule and you're going to jail for it, maybe it's an unfair punishment, but it's theirs.

[Brady Bogan]

Be kind of nice if it happened in the United States.

[Dale Hellestray]

If she go to jail for months on.

[Brady Bogan]

If you just follow the laws.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh yeah, yeah. You follow the law and you're probably not going to go to jail. And then if you're in jail and like, well, this sentence a little heavy for what I did. It wasn't a surprise. You did something and then you lied about having it. Yeah. I got no respect for her at all.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not going anywhere.

[Dale Hellestray]

Why are you? See, this is why I don't like the wnba. Because. Because it makes people like you who don't shut up about anything afraid to say something. No, you don't know the word of that. I'm not going to talk about that.

[Brady Bogan]

No. People who say she's a hero. That's ass.

[Dale Hellestray]

But you won't talk about how cruddy the WNBA is as a product because they can't take criticism.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no.

[Dale Hellestray]

And all I say right now is the NBA is worse than the WNBA is. Trying to watch it equally as bad it is.

[Brady Bogan]

It's really.

[Dale Hellestray]

But nobody's going to say I hate all men because I don't like the NBA.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. I don't hate all women.

[Dale Hellestray]

Of course you don't. Stupid to think that.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? But yeah, the wnb. If you go in there expecting the NBA and dunks and they tell you to. No, they don't.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have watched them say it's as competitive as an NBA game. We're as good as the guys. Brittney Griner challenged boogie cousins to one on one and he's like, that would be ridiculous. She was you afraid, little man. And I'm like, see, this is.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't remember that.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is why.

[Toledo]

Let me ask you this too.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Would you rather go to a boys high school basketball game or women's n WNBA game?

[Brady Bogan]

I would rather go to a boys a good boys.

[Dale Hellestray]

And why dunking? No Competitive athleticism, quality of play.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I don't think there are. They're like, there's good girl basketball players but you can't criticize them and say, hey, your league kind of sucks without them thinking that you're the biggest misogynist in the world. And, and, and then, and then I always say, you know what would fix this league is a bunch of dudes playing the game instead of you. And they're like, oh, he hates all women. I'm like, well, I'm right. I could put a team of high school boys together right now. And beat the WNBA champions.

[Brady Bogan]

But what they want.

[Toledo]

You say.

[Dale Hellestray]

I've said that. You give me a couple Duncan 8th graders and I can do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you realize that they have recruiting stats up for 6th graders now?

[Dale Hellestray]

I know it's freaking stupid.

[Brady Bogan]

That is.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know.

[Brady Bogan]

But I don't know eighth graders. But you can put a good high school basketball, boys basketball, eighth or ninth grade.

[Dale Hellestray]

I can. I can be competitive.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And. And again.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I could coach.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's the thing. They want equal pay. They. They want all the same stuff, but they don't want the equal criticism.

[Dale Hellestray]

Exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

Everybody gets in the NBA, short of maybe Steph Curry or you pick a pick hand pick five guys. Everybody gets criticized. Yeah. Yeah. Bad game. You get. You get hammered.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Nobody can say Caitlin Clark's pretty without losing their job for a year. But they have a segment of. Let's take a look at what the Suns are wearing as they walk into the arena at every game.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. And I just feel. Feel emasculated when they do that.

[Dale Hellestray]

It drives me nuts. I'm half the man I was before. Is that all they see?

[Brady Bogan]

I walk into the raw room, all these cameras are going.

[Dale Hellestray]

You wore a decent pair of pants. And you're like, my God, my eyes are up here. It's. It's embarrassing that they treat it that way. And it's not the players so much.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's just the way it's marketed is terrible. Yes. And. And I love the three on three thing they're putting together. I think that's going to be more fun.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

But. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You're gonna watch the Pro bowl tonight.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is it tonight?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

What's it doing on Thursday?

[Brady Bogan]

You got the skills competition.

[Dale Hellestray]

The skills competition. I like the game itself. Have you ever been in a Pro Bowl?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I have. I ever played in one?

[Dale Hellestray]

No. The only way to go.

[Brady Bogan]

No. Well, they. Well, they wouldn't bring long snappers back in the 90s.

[Dale Hellestray]

They didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

Otherwise I would have probably been five.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay. Who did it? Who's. Who? Long snapped. Who did the field goals?

[Brady Bogan]

It was some. One of the offensive linemen was always horrible. Like. Like our center, Mark Stowski went to I think five and he said he actually checked one year. He said if I fly him over and put him. Because nobody wants to do it, they.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wouldn'T acknowledge that that is part of the game as a.

[Brady Bogan]

Not till about 2000. Three. Four, five.

[Dale Hellestray]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And now they bring along snap.

[Dale Hellestray]

So you were just a useless cog to them.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

You had no like.

[Brady Bogan]

Except for Us. And how that I. The most security on the team. I never knew it. But yeah, because I. I was a long snapper and I was always a sixth, seventh offensive line.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. How about that?

[Brady Bogan]

And so what that allowed them to do was the fact that they could only some. We went in a lot of games with just seven offensive linemen and that included me. All right. And I could get through a second half, something like that. But if somebody went down for a.

[Dale Hellestray]

Month, they need another.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they're. They're going to be something. But I. I get crazy. They had confidence that I get to get. And I did the lock snap so they could bring in another db, they could dress another wide receiver, get something together and to. That was really important to. To the team.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's nuts. I didn't know that you guys were that frowned upon. You think it had anything to do with your attitude? You were disliked and they didn't want to go to Hawaii with you.

[Brady Bogan]

No, everybody loves it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just about the food on the plane all the way there.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on. Where's my filet?

[Dale Hellestray]

Where's my scampi?

[Brady Bogan]

My 99.

[Dale Hellestray]

It was 99. 33 a shrimp.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I will bet you right now $100 each. A hundred dollars?

[Dale Hellestray]

That's how much.

[Brady Bogan]

It's under 40 bucks. It's under 40 bucks per shrimp. No, for the shrimp scampi plate.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm just telling it was a hundred dollars. I looked SeaWorld. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

With a Y.

[Dale Hellestray]

Fix the Pro Bowl, Dale, you're the commissioner. What do you do?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they're not playing it.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know. They do like that flag football thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

So how does it like. Because Drake May is the starting quarterback for the afc. It's embarrassing to the league, so why even bother? Just have a battle of the network stars like thing where anybody who wants to come can come.

[Brady Bogan]

The answer is very simple, John. Why do they do it? Because people watch. Do they? Yes.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have not.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no. The. The. When. When the ratings come out. Out. I promise you this stuff tonight will be more watched than anything else on tv.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, as far as networks go, probably true.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Dale Hellestray]

As far as the ratings go. I mean, people will just binge a movie. It's not going to be a big number.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but it's going to be more than other things. I'm with you. I should just do away with it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Russell. Russell Wilson is the backup.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Dale Hellestray]

To Drake May. And I'm like, neither of them should be.

[Brady Bogan]

And the other thing is they have him in Orlando now where they used to fly them to Hawaii. And the guys like to go to Hawaii and spend a week there and what. Whatever. What's the code? Orlando.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't understand it. I don't get it. I think they need to replace. Now that they move college down this off week, they should have the college football championship. And then between the AFC and NFC championship games, the week off is the college football championship, next week's Super Bowl.

[Brady Bogan]

You also got the hundredth East, West, Shrine game tonight.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, nobody cares.

[Brady Bogan]

I play in the 60th.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, you told me in Japan.

[Brady Bogan]

Right now, this is the one. It's East, West, Shrine Game.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, that's right. It's down in the South.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Dale Hellestray]

And you played in that.

[Brady Bogan]

I played in that.

[Dale Hellestray]

You played in the 60th one. There's been 40 since. Oh, my God, that's horrible.

[Brady Bogan]

We were doing the math this morning.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm like, oh, my God, which one did I play? Was it in color on TV or. I don't even remember that long ago.

[Brady Bogan]

It was on TV.

[Dale Hellestray]

Was it? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

80, 85.

[Dale Hellestray]

President Reagan there. Man, oh, man. How about that? All right, Dale Hellraise here, brought to you by Prestige Billiards. How about that guy?

[Brady Bogan]

I. I like that.

[Dale Hellestray]

And there's no fanduel bets this week, but next week we'll do the Super Bowl. I want a precise score. So start thinking. We're going to put money on you picking. I'll give you sgp. Oh, no, no. I'm going to give him three chances to pick the exact score of the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, now, but tell me this. Are there.

[Toledo]

That's big money.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it is huge.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

300. Put a hundred dollar bet on each one.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

Pick it precisely. And it's. I think It'll be like $30,000.

[Brady Bogan]

But now, real quick, talking about hundreds, what made you decide to send 500 to Devin?

[Dale Hellestray]

You said we'll talk about that. We'll take a break. Yeah, he also forced that. We'll take a break here. Dale. Dale's dipping his hands in my pockets again. It's 98 KUPD.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Toledo]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is what I had to do to you the whole day. All right, calm down, everybody. We're back on the air there. Dale's screaming and yelling at top of his lungs, and Brett's got trouble. It is. Yes, you. You started that. Yeah, exactly Ringmaster. Okay, now calm everything down here. We.

[Brady Bogan]

Before we go any further.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You got the bill in your phone.

[Dale Hellestray]

I was giving a grief about this game. It was 38.

[Brady Bogan]

38.

[Dale Hellestray]

Hilarious.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, $38. And then I had one drink because I was driving.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And you had some water and some.

[Toledo]

Of that heavenly water.

[Brady Bogan]

And you had four dog pound burgers that you didn't pay for any that I bought for you, did you?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Yes. The last meal that you ditched.

[Brady Bogan]

Free half.

[Dale Hellestray]

I gave you credit. When you broke your credit card out. I paid for half of that meal along with Tom. Jesus Christ.

[Brady Bogan]

I might not bring you to the Rah Rah.

[Dale Hellestray]

You don't have to worry about getting in there again. You'd be smashed up against the windows.

[Brady Bogan]

Looking in, be getting all that attention. What I also love is John. Did he do this last night? He just wanders around like all of a. We're in another room. I'm like, we don't belong in here. Yeah, we do.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In the arena. I'll walk you through other places. Yeah, yeah. I'll wander into the other.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't got any good food.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, they didn't have anything in there. Yeah, we wandered in and out of some stuff. Yeah, that is true. I'll take you into other places that seem off limits and then we just act like you've been there.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Anyway, what was the other thing? Right before we went to break, you wanted to yell at me about. You said something right before and I'm like, all right, we'll talk about that in a second. I forgot what it was.

[Toledo]

It's too much yelling.

[Dale Hellestray]

There was a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, then complain that that real sexy girl that's suing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, he's upset about the Uber. How many Ubers have you not been allowed to get in?

[Brady Bogan]

But I don't order the small Uber.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right. You know better. Yeah. See, and that's all it is, is personal responsibility to say I'm not fitting in. I'm not getting in an Ultima.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

Like, I was going to drive to the Suns game.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

And just to watch you get in and out of my Jeep, which I would find hilarious even just thinking about it. It's not going to be easy for you.

[Brady Bogan]

Were you driven in comfort?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Your car's very nice. Got a nice Lincoln. It was very nice car. Yeah. And he drove. I liked the horn blast to start to start the evening.

[E]

That's how he called his date out.

[Dale Hellestray]

It was very classy.

[Brady Bogan]

Done that all my Charlie, I just.

[Dale Hellestray]

Saw him pull into the culdesac and I just heard that thing going and I'm like, this is the only way this can work. Hilarious. It's time for Brady to give you all the news. Only Brady knows we call this. No, wait, that's the other thing. It's the entertainment drill. Sorry, I started the show over. It's the entertainment drill brought to you by our friends at react defense stock, the home of tactical black self defense training. I was in there yesterday having a blast with, with the guys and I'm telling you right now, this, this situation where people just popping in there, it's $199 for what you're getting is amazing. I would have paid 100 bucks for yesterday's session alone. We did knife defense training multiple attackers. You start realizing if you're in a situation where there's somebody in front of you, behind you, that you know chasing them around is the worst idea in the world. And told us story about somebody who is a member up there who was driving down the road and the car in front of him started to chuck good sized rocks at other cars driving down Scottsdale road. And he got, yeah, he got next to him because he's like, I'm at the light now this guy's chucking rocks at my car. This is wildly dangerous. These weren't little rocks. And he said, if the dangerous thing in your brain is a lot of guys will be like, I'm, I carry. So I'm gonna take, I'm gonna chase him down and do stuff. You don't know if that guy's got a gun. The best thing you could do and what this guy did was just pull over, get away from it, get his license, call the cops, it's too big for you. And also you don't want to go shooting willy nilly at some guy because you've lost your mind. Because you carry and miss or hit him, injure him and he's like, oh, I threw him out. I didn't even know I hit the car. And now you're some wild renegade that's firing away. Yes, there are ways to protect yourself that are smarter than others. And man, it's the best. Brett carries, you have your thing and you went in there with me that time and they taught you gun retention, which was eye opening. The things you learn there are. You cannot get it anywhere else. And right now, two months for 199 bucks. Insane. So get on this thing right now. Go sign up today. Reactdefense.com. the Home Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Toledo]

Leonardo DiCaprio's friends think his new girlfriend, 26 year old Italian model Vittoria Ceretti, has him completely whipped.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, she's 26 and he stuck around. His number has always been 25. Breakup.

[Toledo]

Right. So they said they. And he doesn't care.

[Dale Hellestray]

Looks like Warren Beatty. Warren Beatty. Eventually.

[Toledo]

Just very devoted to this woman.

[Dale Hellestray]

Good for him.

[Brady Bogan]

At some point we're talking about moving in. I'm just bouncing around 24 year olds. 60, 50.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's my age. He's 51.

[Brady Bogan]

I think at some point, don't you? Kind of just probably. Yeah, that would be an awful lot. They all got issues.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. But you know, they're doing it. They're volunteering to be his temporary girlfriend, so.

[Toledo]

But you're right, it never, you know, once they hit the 26.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's been dumping them at 26, so.

[E]

Well, he's worried about the gray sweats and everything else and you know, wearing pajamas to the store and all that stuff. 24 year olds aren't doing that. 24 is keeping it tight.

[Dale Hellestray]

And when 24 year olds wear pajamas to the store, it's like, well, that doesn't look so bad.

[Toledo]

Dale's excited about his story.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay, go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, God. First of all, what happened to your face?

[Dale Hellestray]

That.

[Brady Bogan]

The knife Fighting? Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, I was shaving and I cut myself.

[Brady Bogan]

What about under your eye?

[Dale Hellestray]

What's wrong with under my eye?

[Brady Bogan]

They got.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, I'm sleep. I slept wrong. Brady screwed up my schedule last night. We were drinking early and I went to bed at a regular time and did my sleeping. I don't know. I don't know what you're.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. You look like you got knife nick.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, did I get. I might have gotten punched. I might have gotten hit yesterday. Fighting. I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, some elbows, I got some bruises. Yeah, I mean when you're as ugly as you are, it's hard to notice those things.

[Dale Hellestray]

But yet you did.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Let's see here. Is this Brady just scoured the Internet. Yep. Netflix is rebooting Little House on the Prairie. God, I can't wait for that one.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The original series told kind of a true story of the Ingalls family.

[Dale Hellestray]

Ingalls.

[Brady Bogan]

Ingalls family who lived in a farm in Minnesota in the late 1800s.

[Dale Hellestray]

Are you not familiar with them?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but I.

[Toledo]

You talked about that show a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

I used to have a crush on that Melissa Gilbert. Yeah. Because I was about same age. Sir. Why is anything that you don't like Nelly.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure she was kind of cross eyed.

[Brady Bogan]

It was loosely based on the books of Laura Ingalls wilder. Ran from 74 to 83.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

A Netflix executive says a new version will be, quote, part hopeful family drama.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, you'll love it.

[Brady Bogan]

Part epic survival tale and part origin story of the America West. No word yet on cast.

[Toledo]

It's gonna be a little more hardcore or start date.

[Brady Bogan]

It streams on. Peacock.

[Dale Hellestray]

Remember when Mary went blind?

[Brady Bogan]

That's a.

[Dale Hellestray]

Those were some great.

[Toledo]

Here's another story.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just read the headline stories for him. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Queen of Hallmark, Lacy Chabert.

[Dale Hellestray]

She bear, Shea bear.

[Brady Bogan]

How do you know all this?

[Dale Hellestray]

Because I can read.

[Brady Bogan]

Is releasing a line of products next holiday season that includes cards, ornaments and other entertaining essentials.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yep.

[Toledo]

So excited about that, aren't you, Dale?

[E]

Well, that's some news, Dale.

[Dale Hellestray]

Thanks for that. Yeah. Good job, Dale.

[Brady Bogan]

I can start researching.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, you need to start bringing your own stories. Brady's. Brady's setting you up to fail. Lacy, kbert and the Ingalls family. Yeah, the Little House in the Prairie was on every Sunday at my house. That was a big deal. My sister would not. My dad liked it too, because he liked Michael Landon. He was an old west guy. He loved that stuff. So that how that was a big deal at my place.

[Brady Bogan]

But did your sister go off the deep end or something?

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, yeah. She's nuts.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, I would thought watching Little House and the Player might keep her.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I mean, she was like 7 and 8. We didn't see the sign once that went off the air.

[Brady Bogan]

First sign.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right when Little House got canceled.

[E]

She's a bigger fan of Chico in the Man.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, she went to Chico and the Man. That is an evil villain laugh. Jesus Christ. I feel like I gotta put my hand in my wallet when I hear that laugh. Man, oh, man. You should be petting a bald cat with that. All right, are you done?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Come on. You got one more.

[Dale Hellestray]

Something else in there.

[Toledo]

Otherwise, Monica Lewinsky is launching her first podcast.

[Dale Hellestray]

Now we got something.

[E]

You should have had that one, Dale.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Dale, Jeez.

[Brady Bogan]

What do you know about Monica Brady?

[Toledo]

It's called Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. She had a little affair.

[Dale Hellestray]

With who? It's called Choking it down with Monica, Dale. I was president when you were a Super bowl champion. I do not remember you at the White House. I don't. I don't remember you being there.

[Brady Bogan]

I remember because we were there shortly after.

[Dale Hellestray]

I do. I know the cowboys were there, but I was not paying attention to anything there.

[Toledo]

That's a nice tie. Where'd you get it?

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, do you need to know why? The stains or the bubbles are on it. But it's all right. Don't you worry about my clothes. Take it to the dry cleaner. That's what I always say. It's good to see you guys. Dale. Nice to meet you for the first time ever.

[Brady Bogan]

Screw you, Bill.

[Toledo]

Did you get some muffins?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, shaking his hand, I got a picture with him.

[Dale Hellestray]

No kidding. Is it hung in your house? Proudly.

[Brady Bogan]

My wife put in a frame.

[Dale Hellestray]

All three meetings or did you just go once? No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

One parade and house.

[Dale Hellestray]

Once.

[Toledo]

Was it the first one?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

No kid. And then there's. The rest were just like.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what? This is getting old.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wow. This big and old. All right, that's enough for you. You're done here. We're done with this one. All right, let's get out of here. Brett, tonight at EOS Fitness. If you want to go out there, Mayo Boulevard in the loop 101. Head on out there from 5 to 7. Brett's got all sorts of stuff. He's going to have Disturbed tickets now that's coming up here in May. A bunch of EOS swag. And you can get memberships like crazy swag. So Brett will hook you up with KUPD stuff and. And the rest is easy. Five till seven tonight.

[Brady Bogan]

You're working out, Brad.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's out of the question, Dale. Are you crazy?

[Toledo]

He'll be on the treadmill the whole time.

[Dale Hellestray]

He'll point you in the right direction, and then that's all. That's all he needs to do. And we're all done.

[E]

Sign up over there.

[Dale Hellestray]

You guys have a great day. And I guess we'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. Hello. Hey.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Toledo]

No music membership fee.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have heard enough of this.