01-30-25 - Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae - Dale Defends Himself For His Conduct In The Ra Ra Room - Dale's Thoughts On Suns Coach Not Communicating w/Players

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: Thursdays with Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae
Release Date: January 30, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Dale Hellestrae, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

---

1. Introduction and Segment Sponsorship

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg humorously addressing technical issues related to volume control, setting a lighthearted tone. Shortly after, the conversation shifts to the introduction of sponsorships, specifically acknowledging Prestige Billiards for supporting the show.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg [01:10]: “Yeah, I, I, I've done my due diligence here, and somehow or another this segment's going to get sponsored starting next week.”

---

2. Dale Hellestrae's Conduct in the Rah Rah Room

Dale Hellestrae defends his behavior in the exclusive Rah Rah room, a VIP area presumably associated with high-profile events or venues. The discussion delves into his interactions with staff and other patrons, highlighting tensions and miscommunications.

Key Points:

• Dale emphasizes that past treatments for similar behaviors involved incarceration, contrasting it with his current situation.
• John and Dale recount a specific incident involving a waitress named Susan, where Dale's demeanor caused friction.
• Dale argues that his behavior was justified and that he maintains a good rapport with certain staff members.

Notable Quotes:

Dale Hellestrae [00:35]: “The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.”

John Holmberg [02:00]: “I took Brady last night to the exclusive Rah Rah room... pleasantly surprised by your behavior.”

Dale Hellestrae [05:40]: “I just should not be recognized. But, John, when you look like me, it's hard. It's hard not to be recognized.”

---

3. AI Analysis on Dale's Attractiveness

A humorous segment unfolds where AI-generated statistics are discussed regarding Dale's attractiveness to a demographic of 1,000 women aged 60 to 64. The conversation serves as both comic relief and a subtle critique of Dale's self-perception.

Key Points:

• Dale presents AI data suggesting a high percentage of women in the specified group find him attractive.
• John challenges the accuracy of these statistics, attributing them to flawed parameters or image inputs.
• The dialogue underscores Dale's inflated self-esteem and the show's playful ribbing nature.

Notable Quotes:

Dale Hellestrae [06:48]: “It says 700. It said 962,000.”

John Holmberg [09:04]: “...maybe that's true. You're finally close. Pretty accurate.”

---

4. Critique of the Phoenix Suns' Coaching and Communication

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the Phoenix Suns' coaching strategies, particularly focusing on the lack of communication between the coach and players. Dale shares insights from his professional experience to critique the team's management.

Key Points:

• John expresses strong dissatisfaction with the Suns, labeling them as the "worst thing in the world to watch."
• Dale relates personal experiences from his time with the Dallas Cowboys, emphasizing the importance of player-coach communication.
• The conversation touches upon leadership voids within the team and the impact on performance.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [21:58]: “The suns are the worst thing in the world to watch. And I've said it for years, they got to trade everybody.”

Dale Hellestrae [22:33]: “No. That absolutely blows my mind.”

John Holmberg [23:07]: “And if you are, I assume you have somebody, it's a couple days later.”

---

5. Discussion on WNBA vs. NBA

The hosts engage in a spirited debate comparing the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) to the National Basketball Association (NBA). They critique the quality of play, marketing strategies, and societal perceptions surrounding both leagues.

Key Points:

• John argues that the WNBA lacks the competitive athleticism and excitement of the NBA, citing specific examples like Brittney Griner.
• Dale concurs, expressing a preference for men's basketball and criticizing the WNBA's inability to handle criticism.
• The discussion highlights issues of gender bias and the challenges female athletes face in gaining equal respect.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [27:04]: “Nobody can say Caitlin Clark's pretty without losing their job for a year.”

Dale Hellestrae [28:44]: “They want equal pay. They. They want all the same stuff, but they don't want the equal criticism.”

John Holmberg [29:02]: “But they have a segment of. Let's take a look at what the Suns are wearing as they walk into the arena at every game.”

---

6. Personal Anecdotes and Listener Engagement

Throughout the episode, John and Dale share personal stories from their careers, including anecdotes about football games, player interactions, and behind-the-scenes experiences. These stories serve to humanize the hosts and provide relatable content for listeners.

Key Points:

• Dale recounts his time as a long snapper for the Cowboys and his relationships with teammates and coaches.
• The hosts discuss memorable games, player performances, and their perspectives on team dynamics.
• Listener engagement is encouraged through discussions about upcoming events like the Pro Bowl and sports betting promotions.

Notable Quotes:

Dale Hellestrae [30:19]: “I was a long snapper and I was always a 6 7th offensive line.”

John Holmberg [34:05]: “I just telling it was a hundred dollars. I looked.”

---

7. Conclusion and Upcoming Segments

The episode wraps up with announcements about future segments and guest appearances. A moment of reflection on the night's discussions underscores the show's commitment to candid and often controversial conversations.

Key Points:

• John mentions the passing of a comedian, Brett Ernst, and acknowledges his contributions.
• The hosts tease upcoming content related to the Super Bowl and other sports events.
• They maintain the show's trademark blend of humor, critique, and personal insight.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [21:19]: “...if he can fill in for Ken, that would be pretty magnificent.”

John Holmberg [33:38]: “And there's no fanduel bets this week, but next week we'll do the Super Bowl.”

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and critical analysis of sports teams and leagues. The candid interactions between John Holmberg and Dale Hellestrae provide listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful commentary on the current state of Arizona's sports landscape.

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Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Dale Hellestray]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[John Holmberg]

Look who's joining us. Dale Hellray is here. What's the matter, tiny Dale?

[Dale Hellestray]

Don't hear anything.

[John Holmberg]

You don't hear anything.

[Brady]

Oh, because you're not.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe you're not plugged in.

[Brady]

Try the volume there. The little dial right there.

[John Holmberg]

No. For crying. Trying to teach Brady how to do swipe texting. Now Dale's got to learn volume.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome, Dale. Dale hell here.

[Dale Hellestray]

When I come in here, have my place ready to go, for crying out loud.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, speaking of having it ready to go. Yeah, I, I, I've done my due diligence here, and somehow or another this segment's going to get sponsored starting next week.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, it's about time.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I think. Prestige billiards is stepping up nice and putting it together. You get. Now, now, don't start saying, where's my pool table? You don't get anything out of it.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'll wait till they get to know me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, no, then they'll cancel like me.

[Dale Hellestray]

I promise.

[John Holmberg]

I know Meathead will be like, that's enough of him. But yeah, that, that's, that.

[Dale Hellestray]

That is awesome. I appreciate downstairs working downstairs.

[John Holmberg]

What about this fella right here?

[Dale Hellestray]

The sweet blonde?

[John Holmberg]

I put the work together and then I told Joel what to do. Brings you, Dale hella stray, so don't blame us. Blame Meathead up at Prestige billiards while you're getting all your toys.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right, now, you told me when I picked you up, by the way, I didn't tell you I wasn't gonna pick up a rose on the way.

[John Holmberg]

To get news again. You pick me up for the rah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Rah and hopefully hope, hopefully your wife would answer the door. And I go, can't Johnny come out to play?

[John Holmberg]

Did you come to the door? He just blew his horn in the as he drives into the cul de.

[Dale Hellestray]

Sac, you think I'm going to walk to the door to get over. A half hour later, half hour later.

[John Holmberg]

We'Re walking back to the car. I got to pick his lumbering ass up out of the yard. But I was saying, I took Brady last night to the exclusive Rah Rah room. And the only reason Brady beat you in the next eight categories because of speed of walk. He can get in and out of the building. He's quicker, he moves from side to side. He doesn't have to have a chair. It worked out nicely. Although I will say, pleasantly surprised by your behavior. Although. One moment. While our sweet Susan, the waitress with the tight bun, was standing at the table, Dale screams, what'd you take to.

[Dale Hellestray]

Get a drink in this dump?

[John Holmberg]

And so she's like, I'm right here. And then she goes, we ought to keep Tiny happy. She was actually pretty fun.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, no, because her and I had a rapport, John. All night you were acting like a obnoxious old school girl. You wanted your attention. And not everybody's paying attention to Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

That's not true.

[Dale Hellestray]

And Gialisa was like looking at me. Don't look at him. No.

[John Holmberg]

People could talk to you. I think you just started thinking you deserved much more than you were actually earning.

[Dale Hellestray]

We gotta just clarify. First of all, you told me what goes on in the Rah Rah room.

[John Holmberg]

Stays in the Rah. Except for between us.

[Dale Hellestray]

Unless you want to break the news.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, no. You and I can talk about what happened with. Between us. I'm not flaming people there. They serve us food, right?

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, the service is great.

[John Holmberg]

It was amazing. It's a great place. It's an awesome. And Brady can attest to that.

[Dale Hellestray]

But now, does anybody ever get to rate your performance at the Rah Rah rup?

[John Holmberg]

No, because I'm the member. He paid, I paid.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, first of all, the tire was very.

[John Holmberg]

I told you to dress like an adult. We were going to a son's game. You can go in a son's game in son's attire. And that's what I did.

[Dale Hellestray]

In baggy jeans that.

[John Holmberg]

What did you want? Tighter jeans? I'm sorry. My jeans weren't tight.

[Dale Hellestray]

We're on a date, Johnny. Dress to impress. Anyway, so we go there and all I've heard you say is I. I ordered a hundred dollar shrimp scampi. You did $34. I dare you to go look at the. At the.

[John Holmberg]

I know because I paid for that one myself.

[Dale Hellestray]

You did not. Your Buddy picked up the bill. And you.

[John Holmberg]

I got half of it.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'll split with you.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't. He said, I got this, Tom. And he goes, no, I can't. And I said, well, I can't let you pick up the whole bill for everybody. You don't even know these people. Especially the guy leaving with all the shrimp scampi. The only one that ordered an entree is walking away and with bags. You're leaving like you went shopping at Balenciaga. Doggy bags out of the rah rah.

[Dale Hellestray]

I had one trip left over.

[John Holmberg]

Have some class. Dale. What are you doing over here?

[Dale Hellestray]

One trip left over. You would have thought John was feeding the poor.

[John Holmberg]

It's not Outback.

[Dale Hellestray]

Don't leave that on the.

[John Holmberg]

I said, bring that home to your wife. They're $34.

[Brady]

You took one shrimp home?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You finished that? It's this big. They're this big. He thinks they were. He thinks they were $10 each. The shrimp. Each one was this big.

[Dale Hellestray]

$34 for the thing.

[John Holmberg]

Each shrimp.

[Dale Hellestray]

Meanwhile.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for Christ's sake.

[Dale Hellestray]

Before the game and at halftime, this guy's eating some forty dollar dish that looks like Perina dog chow.

[Brady]

That's the wagyu.

[John Holmberg]

Wagyu tartar.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wagyu tartar. I'm like, that looks like Purina boys and dog.

[John Holmberg]

Because you're not. You don't have a refined palette.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's $40 a pop. And he' delicious.

[John Holmberg]

And I was offering to you. And you're like, I'm not eating that. So he ordered wieners in a blanket as class. Class. And you got shrimp cocktail. That's true. And do we get some of your.

[Dale Hellestray]

Some of your appetizers after the.

[John Holmberg]

The hot dog. The hot dogs.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know who.

[John Holmberg]

You crushed a few of those. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got. I think Kevin.

[Brady]

And those are good, right?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's good. Yeah, we had a good one.

[Dale Hellestray]

Everything's good. Everything's.

[John Holmberg]

And you don't need to start screaming and yelling. Just say thank you for inviting me.

[Dale Hellestray]

I did. I said that night.

[John Holmberg]

And then look at you now.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wake up. But Monday I'm getting phone calls. Why did you break Johnny's bank?

[John Holmberg]

You didn't break my bank. I never said that. That's a misunderstanding.

[Dale Hellestray]

What? No. Came out of your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

No, I never said that. I said you were a very good payer.

[Dale Hellestray]

$9, Gabby.

[John Holmberg]

Very good pay. He did say that. He did give you props on the air that you said you were down two times.

[Brady]

You look nice.

[John Holmberg]

Two times. He bought the first round he bought the appetizers at halftime. And then at the end, he ordered all the food off the menu and left early.

[Dale Hellestray]

Order shrimp stampy and 17 and 7. Because I was driving.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody turn.

[Brady]

I'm driving. Can I get it to go 7 and 7.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he said.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, no, it's not my turn to buy, so I'm not gonna have anything anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Brady, you just went up another notch on. Because I haven't heard you whine like a.

[Dale Hellestray]

You don't. You don't disparage him.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't do anything crazy like at the end get a filet to go for Kirby. Well, he didn't. You're the one walking out with Togo and I can do about that. Oh, and then, by the way, we saw you because we all stayed at the table because jetted early and Kevin Ray bumps me and he goes, look over there in the candy room. And there's an open bag. And then he's just shoveling candy off the shelves into that bag. We saw you in the candy.

[Dale Hellestray]

I didn't know there's Junior Mints. I got one box.

[John Holmberg]

No, we saw the bag open. Stuff flying in there like it's Christmas morning and Santa's loading the sled.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're pulling the jars off the game. Johnny. This is the best thing in there. Look at all this free candy.

[John Holmberg]

It is. I took four or five last night and a diet coke on the way out. I got that free candy room.

[Dale Hellestray]

I took one box of Junior mints and it was very delicious. Right on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But anyway, cleanse the palate.

[Dale Hellestray]

And the other thing I need to clear up because again, you disparage me so often I can't defend myself. No, the fact that a thousand sixty year old women. The numbers. Here we go. The legitimate number we asked AI. All right. My buddies know all this. Artificial intelligence asks the probability a room of thousand women, 60 year olds, all shapes and sizes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just how many are going to be interested in Dale walk if he walks in immediately? Walking in, it said 700. It said 962,000.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, they'd all look.

[Dale Hellestray]

Would look and be interested. Nope. Remember, every segment of population would be some lesbians there and there'd be some wheelchair bouncing.

[John Holmberg]

So the only people that are interested in you are crippled or lesbian.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, the ones that aren't interested are lesbians. That's what I just said.

[John Holmberg]

The only ones that are like off the menu.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Are crippled or lesbian.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Or crippled lesbian.

[Dale Hellestray]

Now, the ones that are in the wheelchair are jealous because they wish they could have me.

[Brady]

But wow, 962.

[John Holmberg]

What picture from what year did you feed AI into believing that 90% of a room wants to bang?

[Dale Hellestray]

They stand in there in my. Had me in my slacks, on my SME shirt.

[John Holmberg]

96% of a room can't get enough of just visually seeing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Garbage.

[Dale Hellestray]

I want a piece.

[John Holmberg]

And I'll even go as far as say, I'm guessing zero but to. But to soothe your very fragile ego. 10 because they're 62 years old.

[Dale Hellestray]

Although. Although 55 year old woman 52 said no, they're 750.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but she's crazy. That's. That's crazy.

[Dale Hellestray]

They're gonna be crazies in this.

[John Holmberg]

But there's not 750 crazy librarians in.

[Dale Hellestray]

There with their hands folded.

[John Holmberg]

So you think that if you're right, there's only.

[Brady]

There's a thousand crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, if there was this argument, if there was a Spencer for 60 year old women that there would be a poster of.

[Dale Hellestray]

You are so ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're the one saying that 96% of them want to see it. That's it.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's what AI said.

[John Holmberg]

So Spencer, old lady Spencer's at Sun City, has posters of guys that look like you.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, hey, John, it's okay.

[John Holmberg]

No, just answer that question. You know that's not true, John. It would be the worst selling poster in the history of old lady posters. You were mad that Buddy Hackett would outsell you.

[Dale Hellestray]

You were mad that JG Elisa was paying attention to me.

[John Holmberg]

No, I was telling the staff, look, deal with me. Only it's going to get embarrassing if he starts talking. You're going to wonder what, why I brought the riff raff. So just. We'll just go through me. I'll facilitate Holberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellestray]

Holberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

28 u p d Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, have you seen him around this girl?

[John Holmberg]

You know, there's none of this.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's that you're like a babbling idiot.

[John Holmberg]

Because I'm nervous that you're gonna get me kicked out, so I'm nice to the entire staff. I'm like, all right, everybody just calm down. Come to me and we'll deal with this. And then you're like, I want to.

[Dale Hellestray]

Talk to you about your parents.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, here we just leave her alone. So it's not. I'm protecting my interest and my investment.

[Dale Hellestray]

What happened to your head?

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.

[Dale Hellestray]

Do you have any interesting tattoos? Around your genitalia.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Please stop talking to the staff daily.

[Dale Hellestray]

What, do you got a crush on every.

[John Holmberg]

I can't talk to any of them. I'm like, no, I just don't want you talking out loud.

[Dale Hellestray]

We got drinks bought for us, you know, so there's a little mystery there, Early.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Dale Hellestray]

Early.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who did that? I forgot. A couple of ladies.

[Dale Hellestray]

It wasn't what we were.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it turned out a guy who loves the show.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And got three teeth.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

And he was a guest of a guest.

[John Holmberg]

And he told me. He said, hey, if it wasn't. He said to me, I want to get these drinks for you, because the first night I was here, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have done so well on my date. She was a big. A big fan.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And then you're like, did she have any tattoos?

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, just ignore the oath.

[Dale Hellestray]

I would hate to see what that looked like.

[John Holmberg]

And then you're like.

[Dale Hellestray]

You want all the attention?

[John Holmberg]

Like, no, I just don't want you talking to the people. She got the guy laid, Basically. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Nice. But you don't know what she looks like.

[John Holmberg]

I did. I saw her.

[Dale Hellestray]

Beautiful. John, did you see her? No.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, but I don't think he saw her either. And again, when you lead off with a. She's a. She is a big fan of the show. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She's.

[Dale Hellestray]

That paints a picture of the woman.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And it's pretty similar to what I'm seeing walk into a room. According to my 90 man, 96% find her attractive. Yeah. She was a very pretty lady.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I was surprised. My God, you guys. And it was very nice to look at. Was in. He's a decent looking.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, please.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's not in the 96 percentile.

[John Holmberg]

Unbelievable.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just start calling me 96.

[John Holmberg]

Said he has. I've got a picture of a lady that says, I would bang Dale. And I believe that. Maybe that's true. You're finally close. Pretty accurate. Of a woman who. Yeah, that's a good photo. No, I. I keep it. I have a concierge there that keeps her eye on me, make sure we're happy. There's a lot of people helping out. I don't need you ruining that. So I'm very. I wasn't worried about Brady. He behaved himself beautifully.

[Dale Hellestray]

And were you. Honestly, were you worried about me?

[John Holmberg]

Not really.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I was a little, but then I kind of calmed it down a little bit. I was a little nervous. You Were getting a little loud.

[Dale Hellestray]

You don't think I've been to nicer places in the rara.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think you're allowed in nicer places at all.

[Dale Hellestray]

You should.

[Brady]

Unless you're working.

[John Holmberg]

And if you are, I assume you have somebody, it's a couple days later.

[Dale Hellestray]

Going, why did you get all that attention? You're scared.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, no, no. It was that. And you said it when we were in our seats, that I was being a C word to you about with the Y, though.

[Dale Hellestray]

C word with a. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're calling me a C word with a Y because I was. Called you a C word. You brought him a whole bunch of times. Because every time. No, Anyone that talked to me, I would. Or if I engaged myself in any conversation that Dale was in.

[Dale Hellestray]

Why are you gonna get all the attention?

[John Holmberg]

Because I become engaging and people turn their attention to me because I saved them from conversation with them calling out.

[Dale Hellestray]

My name in the section.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and that was the other thing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, that's because you're on my show.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody recognizes you.

[Dale Hellestray]

They're football fans.

[John Holmberg]

If they are, they don't know who the long snapper is. From 1954's Dallas Cowboys.

[Dale Hellestray]

That was more than a long snapper.

[Brady]

You're like, hey, Bubba Smith.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Aren't you? Know how you get recognized? Aren't you the guy that used to stand behind Troy Aikman a lot on the sidelines? That's the only way they'd know your name.

[Dale Hellestray]

That is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. But they wouldn't know your name or go, hey, Dale. The reason they know you is because you were with me.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm kind of a big deal.

[John Holmberg]

No, when he started calling me a C word and then getting all over me for having conversations with anybody was when somebody said, dale, when he sat in my seats, I'm like, that guy knows me. He's talked to me before, and he now, because he listens to the show, knows that I brought you to the. My seats. And then you said that somebody, when.

[Dale Hellestray]

You asked that girl, this is about a thousand women, and she said, it's about 750. And you just completely dismissed.

[John Holmberg]

That was Tom Sizer's wife, Sisquatch, who runs around our golf tournament. That's what we call her because she's like seeing a sasquatch run through the. Like, it's naked. So spotting her naked on the golf, Very natural on the golf.

[Dale Hellestray]

What's her name?

[John Holmberg]

Colette.

[Dale Hellestray]

Colette, yeah. That's much prettier than Sisquatch?

[John Holmberg]

Well, of course it is, but Sasquatch is more accurate. When you're on a golf course, you go, what the hell's that over there? Running through the. And it's a naked lady.

[Dale Hellestray]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she runs down the coast.

[Dick Toledo]

Can I be the needle to this bubble?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Here it is.

[Dale Hellestray]

Did you put an ugly picture of me in there?

[John Holmberg]

It says on Gemini, AI advanced Gemini.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Acting as a sociologist is the question Toledo put in. Tell me, in a room of 1,000 women of all races and backgrounds age 60 to 64, how many would say they are attracted to former NFL football stars Dale Hellestray? It says it's tough to give an exact number as attraction is a super personal thing. But here's what we can consider. Dale Hellestray's age in his early 60s. So he might appeal to women in that same age group who appreciate someone their own age. That's a check for you. Football player image. Some women are drawn to athletes, but others might not care and be turned off by first glance is the key. This means looks matter initially if he fits conventional, handsome standards. No.

[Dale Hellestray]

What do I have. What's my spouse. Are you calling. What. What did. What did the carpet lady say?

[John Holmberg]

The carpet lady? You call her but lady.

[Dale Hellestray]

Jesus Christ.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Dale Hellestray]

She has carpet on her head.

[John Holmberg]

This is why I didn't let him talk to anybody and why he was.

[Dale Hellestray]

Saying, why are you gonna be so seaworthy?

[John Holmberg]

I'm alert.

[Dale Hellestray]

I tell carpet on her.

[John Holmberg]

First off, I tell her she has carpet for hair. I wouldn't hide that.

[Dale Hellestray]

What did Colette say? And another thing that you have going for you, Dale. What did she say? Remember what she said?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dale Hellestray]

She said you have small ears.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she did say it's small ears. That's proof she's nuts.

[Dale Hellestray]

Older guys got these big Brady.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here we go. Rough guess. He's just throwing it around. A rough guess. Maybe 10 to 20% of 1,000 women would find him attractive at first sight.

[Dale Hellestray]

This is without a picture, but wait till I talk.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, then we'll cut that in half. So maybe 100 to 200 women, but it's a very broad estimate.

[Dale Hellestray]

When does that happen?

[Brady]

How they got that to 90%?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Delusional. He's insane.

[Dale Hellestray]

I put in some different parameters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did you put a picture of George Clooney in your search? Good Lord.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know why I looked like Brad Pitt in that picture, but anybody.

[John Holmberg]

That said anything to Dale, that I'm like, well, that guy. All I had to do Was tell him reality, Dale.

[Dale Hellestray]

See, Johnny, they recognize me.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, they're not recognizing from football. You're sitting with me. That guy knows me. No.

[Dale Hellestray]

How come you're gonna be such a.

[John Holmberg]

C word about everybody? Why do you need all the attention? Like, I'm not even asking for attention.

[Dale Hellestray]

Neither was I. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Brady pointed out last night as we walked into the arena, guy goes, hey, Brady. I walk by first. He goes, hey, Brady. And he gives him a fist bump. And Brady goes, I think it's because people think you're just gonna shred them. He didn't say. I'm like, I don't. I don't care if you don't say hi to me. It doesn't bother me. I don't need that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Not approachable.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, that's fine. Good. By design. I don't need the false attention that you crave so desperately.

[Dale Hellestray]

It was the way you acted.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't. I just should not be recognized. But, John, when you look like me, it's hard. It's hard not to be recognized.

[John Holmberg]

He does have point there. Yeah. Brett is taking that literally. And I have to say, Dale, that's the most true you have ever been. When. When I. When people look like you, heads turn.

[Brady]

Yeah. Because.

[John Holmberg]

Not necessarily for all the right reasons, lady that.

[Brady]

That works there said, hey, where. What was the name of that brontosaurus you brought in last week?

[Dale Hellestray]

Brady. Your horse. Not in that. Yeah. Whenever Brady tries to throw out his. His horse. It didn't. No.

[John Holmberg]

That needed a construction zone.

[Dale Hellestray]

But, hey, I did get your shortcut down to the core. You know, I thought they knew who you were. We're watching Bob.

[John Holmberg]

We were with Kevin Ray. We were. We were with Kevin Ray. And we didn't get any cachet in that building. Like Dale had to just bulldoze through the curtains that they'd closed on us. Not turn around. And he just went down the stairs. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're not doing it. Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry, muchacho. I think was the thing. We just kept walking. I'm just. I'm just gonna follow the ogre. I don't think anybody's gonna stop us. That was weird. Right after Suns game ended, they shut everything off.

[Dale Hellestray]

Close the curtain and close the curtain.

[John Holmberg]

So you can't go down there. It's a private event. It was just a bunch of kids shoot around with their rich parents. Like, why can't people walk by this?

[Dale Hellestray]

And we had that. Our. Our row was right there to get back in the railroad room.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't understand.

[Dale Hellestray]

I go, I ain't walking all the way around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and you didn't. And the guy was like, no, I'm sorry, sir. We all stopped like decent citizens, and I'm the C word. But he just kept walking like. And all you hear, out of the way, chachi.

[Dale Hellestray]

Move it, muchacho. Sir.

[John Holmberg]

Sir, there's nothing we can do. Don't scare him. So anyway. Well, there it is. Well, Dale, have a fun night.

[Dale Hellestray]

John, I appreciate it.

[John Holmberg]

I know we got time. And a fun night, too. I did it. I enjoyed myself very much. Gets so loud. Oh, that's good.

[Dale Hellestray]

Time. Do you ever print any positive emails?

[John Holmberg]

When I get one, I will, I promise. Can we get Brett the. The. It's the. The segment sponsored. Now, can we get a theme song, like Crying Like a by Godsmack for Dale when he walks around? It's a job of the Hutt. Wouldn't bang Dale. What's he talking about? He knows.

[Dale Hellestray]

Java.

[John Holmberg]

No retort for you. We got to take a break. Dale segment is here, brought to you by prestige billiards. It's 98. We'll talk sports. Holmberg's morning sickness, so they're gonna fill the time. Oh, that's good. We just got. We don't know if it's true or not, but Brett Ernst is a great comedian, and evidently he's gonna fill in at Desert Ridge. We love Brett or Brent? Brett. Brett. I always confused that because of you. Yeah, because I call you Bert and Brett and. Is it Brent or Brett?

[Dale Hellestray]

Matt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brett's the best. He's great. Ernst is hilarious. So if he can fill in for Ken, that would be pretty magnificent. One of the comedians passed away yesterday that was performing at Desert Ridge.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, how old?

[John Holmberg]

28.

[Dale Hellestray]

What? What happened?

[John Holmberg]

Cardiac arrest. He was a big guy, but his heart stopped.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he's actually. He's been raving about how sober he is now for the last few months, and he's going through the whole tour without drinking and doing anything. So he's been pretty proud of himself.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

So it's extra credit.

[Dale Hellestray]

That sucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's not good. So there you go. This. No, it was a Tanya Harding joke. I thought it was something else. People are very excited about them now feeling that they can get in the Rah Rah room. If Dale behaved this way at the Rah Rah. And I say he behaved well. But your behavior today is making me reconsider.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, for sure.

[John Holmberg]

Now let's talk sports for five seconds.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

The suns are the worst thing in the world to watch. And I've said it for years, they got to trade everybody. I'm done talking about it. They're never going to do it. They're not a player away. Like, they think this team is just no fun to watch. Last night they played three quarters. Brady and I went back. We're watching the fourth quarter in the middle of them. Like, I hate this team. Let's go. Let's go do something else. With three minutes left. Because once they gave the lead up, the game was over.

[Dale Hellestray]

They played hard for a half.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

And then also, Minnesota ratcheted up a notch. It got physical with them and they wilted away.

[John Holmberg]

They're soft and they're hard to watch, and there's no leadership. Have you ever been on a team where no one's spoken to the coach for two months?

[Dale Hellestray]

No. That absolutely blows my mind.

[John Holmberg]

If that happened, as one of the.

[Dale Hellestray]

Players, I would have a conversation.

[John Holmberg]

Who would have been the one? If you had an offensive lineman and the Cowboys and they're not talking to Jimmy or Barry Switzer and you had that problem with Troy and Barry.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Troy and Barry didn't talk. Who was the. Who was the go between?

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, actually, I was a couple times.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Because I was, quote, unquote, one of Troy's good friends and I thought he was acting ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really? And again, was it Troy not talking to Barry more than Barry? Okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes. Because again, Troy put everything on Barry. Whereas in my mind, Deion Sanders was part of this concert.

[John Holmberg]

There was a lot of.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes. A lot of problems going on.

[John Holmberg]

But he blamed Barry Switzer.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right. And. And he was so tickled. I think I've told you before him. And I kind of gotten fist because he thought Shan Gailey was the end all. To end all.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I said, well, let's wait and see.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, you just always playing devil's advocate.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm saying I kind of relate to Troy now.

[Dale Hellestray]

I said, we haven't. We haven't played a. Why are you being so seaworthy, Troy? Can I have an opinion, too?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Christ, here we go.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, but they go. Especially in a 12 person locker room.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

To not talk for two months.

[John Holmberg]

To have superstars on that team that are one. It's his last gasp. He's 36 years old. He better start looking around the room going, I'm not in a good spot here. If this keeps up. And Kevin Durant needs to say something. He's not a leader. Devin Booker needs to say them. Not a leader. Nobody else in that Team has the.

[Dale Hellestray]

Guess and I'm going to tell you. So I had lunch with my offensive line coach in Dallas two days ago. He lives out in Gold Canyon now. Living the good life. Drives a little sports car and all that. He made a lot of money. Good for him and great for him. But he coached Cowboys offensive line for 10 years. Him and I became good friends because I was closer to his age than the young guys age or whatever. But he was telling me, he said Mark 2 and A was kind of like that guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

He would come into his office on his own and say, hey, Hud, I just need to tell you the way you're dealing with this guy is not the right way to deal with.

[John Holmberg]

It's what the mob has a guy that tells the big boss, hey, I'm gonna risk my reputation to tell you you're doing something wrong.

[Dale Hellestray]

And, and, and, and Hud said, you know what? First time he did it, I was like, well, I don't know if that's your place. But then I started thinking about. I said he was right. He said he probably did it three or four times over seven, eight years. And, and every time he came in, I listened because he was right. Yep. Who is it on the Suns? Who? How on earth does somebody not say knuckleheaded Holbrook guy. Get in the room, nerd. Get in the room. We're gonna. We're gonna figure this nonsense out.

[John Holmberg]

Holbrooke. Holbrook, guys. He's from Holbrook. That's how the old brain works.

[Dale Hellestray]

We're gonna figure this out. That's nonsense.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta sit him down and make them talk. And at the very least, get the gm. The gm Jones needs to get in there and go, guys, I'm not paying you to create the best soap opera in Phoenix history. I'm paying you to. And then his eyes off the ball because there he is, trading WNBA players right now. Knock it off.

[Dale Hellestray]

Hey, that's important. Hey, I think they've already moved on. Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe they got rid of Britain. 24 hours, she's gone. I don't care. It's a better place. I feel the sun's a little cleaner and the air's a little nicer and everything's better with Brittany gone because, you know, there's not enough weed smoke in the air.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'll let you.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like her. She's a traitor. It's a terrible, terrible thing. Not a hero. She spent time in jail.

[Dale Hellestray]

People who say she's a hero, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They keep saying she was unjustly imprisoned. And I'm like, for what? Exactly what they accused her of and what she did. I, I'm not a big Russia fan but right's right when they said this is our rule and you're going to jail for it. Maybe it's an unfair punishment, but it's theirs.

[Dale Hellestray]

Be kind of nice to happen in the United States.

[John Holmberg]

If she go to jail for months on.

[Dale Hellestray]

If you just follow the laws.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, yeah. You follow the law, then you're probably not going to go to jail. And then if you're in jail and like, well, this sentence a little heavy for what I did. It wasn't a surprise. You did something and then you lied about having. You know, I, I got no respect for her at all.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm not going any merchant.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you See, this is why I don't like the wnba. Because. Because it makes people like you who don't shut up about anything afraid to say something.

[Dale Hellestray]

I just said it.

[John Holmberg]

No, you, you know I'm not going to talk about that.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. People who say she's a hero, that's ass.

[John Holmberg]

But you won't talk about how cruddy the WNBA is as a product because they can't take criticism.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

And all I say right now is the NBA is worse than the WNBA is trying to watch it equally as bad.

[Dale Hellestray]

It is. It's really.

[John Holmberg]

But nobody's going to say I hate all men because I don't like the NBA.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right. I don't hate all women.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you don't think that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right. But yeah, the wnb. If you go in there expecting the NBA and dunks and they tell you to. No they don't.

[John Holmberg]

I have watched them say it's as competitive as an NBA game. We're as good as the guys. Brittney Griner challenged Boogie cousins to one on one and he's like that would be ridiculous. She was you afraid little man? And I'm like, see, this is why.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't remember that.

[John Holmberg]

This is why.

[Brady]

Let me ask you this too.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Would you rather go to a boys high school basketball game or women's n WNBA game?

[Dale Hellestray]

I would rather go to a boys a good boys.

[John Holmberg]

And why Dunking, no competitive athleticism, quality of play.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't think there are. They're like, there's good girl basketball players but you can't criticize them and say hey, your league kind of sucks without them thinking that you're the biggest misogynist in the world. And then I always say you Know what would fix this league is a bunch of dudes playing the game instead of you. And they're like, oh, he hates all women. I'm like, well, I'm right. I could put a team of high school boys together right now and beat the WNBA champions. I've said that. You give me a couple of Duncan 8th graders and I can do it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Did you realize that they have recruiting stats up for 6th graders now?

[John Holmberg]

I know it's insane.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know. But. I don't know eighth graders. But you can put a good high school basketball. Boys basketball, eighth or ninth grade.

[John Holmberg]

I can. I can be competitive.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And, and again.

[John Holmberg]

And I could coach.

[Dale Hellestray]

Here's the thing. They want equal pay. They. They want all the same stuff, but they don't want the equal criticism.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Dale Hellestray]

Everybody gets in the NBA, short of maybe Steph Curry or you pick, pick, hand, pick five guys. Everybody gets criticized. Yeah. Yeah. Bad game. You get. You get hammered.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody can say Caitlin Clark's pretty without losing their job for a year. But they have a segment of. Let's take a look at what the Suns are wearing as they walk into the arena at every game.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right. And I just feel emasculated when they do that.

[John Holmberg]

It drives me nuts. I'm half the man I was before. Is that all they see?

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm walking in the wrong room. All these cameras are going.

[John Holmberg]

You wore a decent pair of pants. And you're like, my God, my eyes are up here. It's. It's embarrassing that they treat it that way. And it's not the players so much.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It's just the way it's marketed is terrible.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And, and I love the three on three thing they're putting together. I think that's going to be more fun.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

But.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, you're gonna watch the Pro bowl tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Is it tonight?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's it doing on Thursday?

[Dale Hellestray]

You got the skills competition.

[John Holmberg]

The skills competition. I like the game itself. Have you ever been to Pro Bowl?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I have. Ever played in one?

[John Holmberg]

No. That's the only way to go.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. Well, they wouldn't bring long snappers back in the 90s.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't.

[Dale Hellestray]

Otherwise I would have probably been who did it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, who did it? Who long snapped? Who did the field goals?

[Dale Hellestray]

It was some. One of the offensive linemen. It was always horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Horrible.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. Like. Like our center, Mark Stepnowski went to, I think five and he said he actually checked one year. He said if I fly him over and put him. Because nobody wants to do it, they wouldn't acknowledge that.

[John Holmberg]

That is part of the game as a.

[Dale Hellestray]

Not till about 2003, 4, 5.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And now they bring along snapper.

[John Holmberg]

So we're just a useless cog to them.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You had no way.

[Dale Hellestray]

Except for us. And now because I had the most security on the team, I never knew it.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Because I was a long snapper and I was always a 6 7th offensive line.

[John Holmberg]

How about that?

[Dale Hellestray]

And so what that allowed them to do was the fact that they could only some. We went in a lot of games with just seven offensive linemen and that included me. All right. And I could get through a second half, something like that. But if somebody went down for a month, they need another. Yeah, there could be something. But I. I get crazy. They had conference. I get through and I did the locks happen. So they could bring in another db. They could dress another wide receiver.

[John Holmberg]

Get something together and to.

[Dale Hellestray]

That was really important to. To the team.

[John Holmberg]

That's nuts. I didn't know that you guys were that frowned upon. You think it had anything to do with your attitude? You were disliked and they didn't want to go to Hawaii with you.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. Everybody loves it.

[John Holmberg]

Just about the food on the plane all the way there.

[Dale Hellestray]

Come on. Where's my filet? Where's my scampi? My 99?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was 99. 33 of shrimp.

[Dale Hellestray]

I. I will bet you right now a hundred dollars each. A hundred dollars?

[John Holmberg]

That's how much.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's under 40 bucks. It's under 40 bucks per shrimp. No. Right for the shrimp scampi plate.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just telling it was a hundred dollars. I looked.

[Dale Hellestray]

Wow. With a.

[John Holmberg]

Why fix the Pro Bowl, Dale? You're the commissioner. What do you do?

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, they're not playing it. I know.

[John Holmberg]

They do like that flag football thing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So how does it like. Because Drake May is the starting quarterback for the afc. It's embarrassing to the league.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So why even bother? Just have a battle of the network stars like thing where anybody who wants to come can come.

[Dale Hellestray]

The answer is very simple, John. Why do they do it? Because people watch. Do they? Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I have not.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, no. The. The. When. When the ratings come out. I promise you this stuff tonight will be more watched than anything else on tv.

[John Holmberg]

Well, as far as networks go, probably as far as the ratings. But I mean people will just binge a movie. It's not gonna be a big number.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, but it's gonna be more than other things. I'm with you. I should just do away with it.

[John Holmberg]

Russell. Russell Wilson is the backup.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

To Drake May. And I'm like, neither of them should be.

[Dale Hellestray]

And the other thing is they have him in Orlando now. They used to fly them to Hawaii. And the guys like to go to Hawaii and spend a week there. Whatever. What's it called? Orlando.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand it. I don't get it. I think they need to replace. Now that they move college down this off week, they should have the college football championship. And then between the AFC and NFC championship games, the week off is the college football championship, next week's Super Bowl.

[Dale Hellestray]

You also got the 100 East West Shrine game tonight.

[John Holmberg]

And nobody cares.

[Dale Hellestray]

I played in the 60th.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you told me in Japan.

[Dale Hellestray]

Right now, this is the one. It's East, West Shrine Game.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. It's down in the South.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, yeah, okay. Right.

[John Holmberg]

And you played in that.

[Dale Hellestray]

I played in that.

[John Holmberg]

You played in the 60th one. There's been 40 cents. Oh, my God, that's horrible.

[Dale Hellestray]

We were doing the math this morning.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, oh, my God, which one did I play? Was it in color on TV or. I don't even remember that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Long ago it was on TV. Was it 85?

[John Holmberg]

President Reagan there? Man, oh, man. How about that?

[Dale Hellestray]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Dale Hellraise here, brought to you by Prestige Billiards. How about that guy?

[Dale Hellestray]

I. I like that.

[John Holmberg]

And there's no fanduel bets this week, but next week we'll do the Super Bowl. I want a precise score. So start thinking. We're going to put money on you picking. I'll give you.

[Brady]

And how about sgp?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no. I'm gonna give him three chances to pick the exact score of the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay, now, but tell me this. Are there.

[Brady]

That's big money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, it is huge.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. 300. Put a hundred dollar bet on each one.

[Dale Hellestray]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Pick it precisely. And it's. I think It'll be like $30,000.

[Dale Hellestray]

But now real quick to talk about hundreds. What made you decide to send 500?

[John Holmberg]

You said we'll talk about that. We'll take a break. Yeah, he also forced that. We'll take a break here. Dale's dipping his hands in my pockets again. It's 98 Kup now.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.