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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Byron
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Byron
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
Comedy Club Announcer
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Toledo
Sickness.
John Holmberg
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Want to say hi to Travis Volk out there? He's one of the dudes working at the Phoenix Open right now, groundskeeping and stuff. He's a greenskeeper. He said, it's a circus over here. He wants to hear this circus by Chevelle. And I said, okay, I need six greenskeeper passes for next Friday. That would be for Kevin Ray of the Suns, if that matters at all. And then he said, well, if you play the song, and I'm like, that's illegal. But to prove that the Jew and the Wap stand by. We will break the law to get things. That is something we will do.
Brett Vesely
Apparently, Rick's really trying to get us to break the law.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, Rick is sending a lot of pictures. He's gonna go to jail. A lot of photos.
Toledo
That's all Kray needs.
Brett Vesely
Rick's got great cans.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I know. I said I think he needs four. I threw six in there just for. In case he gets a couple extras. Yeah, Kevin's looking for. He's got people in town and, like, I wonder if I could do that. I'm like, I don't know. Travis, help out Kevin. It's Kevin's birthday on Sunday, same as you. Sunday, right?
Toledo
Yep.
John Holmberg
Yep. Brady and K. Ray have the same birthday. I think they're. I think you're just a year apart.
Toledo
I think so, too.
John Holmberg
It's either a year or a. Exactly the same age.
Brett Vesely
We're playing Brady Grodd today or Monday.
John Holmberg
Well, Adam's coming in today, so we'll probably play Monday. A little post. Brady, get your celebration and find out what you got for your birthday, and then we'll see what we can. If we can add to that Monday with Brady.
Brett Vesely
Kevin too. Kevin Gro.
John Holmberg
Kevin, come in on Monday and do Brady Kre gras.
Toledo
All right.
John Holmberg
And the two of you will. Prizes galore. If you and you can answer together. I'll talk to Kevin. We need him in here on Monday. That's a good idea, Brett. Look at this. This law firm is just churning out brilliant.
Brett Vesely
Changing the world.
John Holmberg
Changing the world. This lady says, john, I got a photo radar ticket last month. My boyfriend thought I should just pay it and get it over with. And I said, never pay those. Never pay them until you get served. And he rolled his eyes and said, of course you would do what Holmberg says now just to annoy him. Anytime anything happens, I just say, I wonder what John would do. You should make bumper stickers for cars. Nobody would ever. What would John do? That's terrible. What would Brady do? Make sense because it's moral and just. What would John do? Fight for your rights, Rachel.
Brett Vesely
Well, depending.
John Holmberg
Put this in our file cabinet and then email Rachel back for an application. We'll see which law firm she goes to. It's time now for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends@allproche.com. you want some shade on your patio. You want to get that TV out there in that space in your backyard, but there's too much glare. They can make it all better, and they can do it beautifully. Make it look like it's part of your home with those motorized retractable ones that are sensitive to the wind, so they do it themselves. If you leave them out, you don't have to worry about them getting all destroyed by a storm that blows through like you would an umbrella or a cheaper version. All pro. Shade is the best in the business. They've been at it for over 20 years for a reason. They gonna make shade at your house. Actually give you some outdoor living space. How about that? All pro shade.com Brady report it.
Toledo
Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.
John Holmberg
We've made it.
Toledo
Hi. Happy National Fun at work day.
John Holmberg
That's Everyday gang. Oh, by the way, it's some sort of weird ice out protest.
Toledo
What?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Adam Ferrar
Schools had to cancel school today because all the teachers. All the teachers said, no, we're not going.
John Holmberg
Of course they did. They don't want to go to work. If I'd have known about this, I wouldn't be here. I'd have. Down with whitey day. Protest. I don't care. Jews out. I'm okay. Where do I. Do I have to go to work that day? No, we're all taking day off.
Adam Ferrar
I believe you tried to do that.
Toledo
A few years ago.
Adam Ferrar
Down with whitey day.
John Holmberg
I'm fine with that.
Adam Ferrar
I think you did.
John Holmberg
If it gets us a day off, I'll do it.
Toledo
Every school. Look, every public school in Tucson or every school. Every school in Tucson.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Adam Ferrar
And kids aren't the Tucson school district. Yeah, they cancel class.
John Holmberg
No kid is protesting anything. He's just ditching. It's legal.
Adam Ferrar
No, they cancel it because they don't have teachers.
Toledo
All the.
John Holmberg
I know, but I mean, they have the kids marching out too. I watched that.
Brett Vesely
And they're like, you didn't give them a raise?
John Holmberg
Red Fred, I'm not going to either. You should quit. But the kids that are marching out of the schools downtown, like there's white ones and black ones. And they're just laughing like you guys are just getting a day off. All you got to do is sit in this beautiful weather for a couple hours and act like you care. I can do that. You could have Clan Appreciation Day. Al Qaeda Appreciation Day. And you'll see whites, blacks, Mexican, everybody get a day off from work. We'll. We'll do it.
Toledo
Your student.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Toledo
Keep on doing. A teacher.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you're a student. Like teachers, I think you guys should take a whole week. That'll show them. Yeah. Students, convince your teachers that a day just isn't enough. I. It's going to take weeks to get ice out of your city. Did we have a memo or anything that said we're allowed to leave?
Adam Ferrar
No.
John Holmberg
I'm gonna pump one out.
Adam Ferrar
Yeah. I think you have to make the call.
Brett Vesely
We have a law firm. We can do that.
John Holmberg
We do it. Would like to say that you guys.
Toledo
Get your letterhead Yet.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we'll get that on.
Brett Vesely
We'll get it.
John Holmberg
Chachi Pt up a letterhead and we'll just put it out there and just remind her that it's illegal for your. It's totally illegal for your employer to stop you from your American right to protest by taking a day off if you have a political and just cause. Yeah, it's a law crime or something. Look it up, bro.
Toledo
Got a couple of basis fun facts. Kissing someone on the cheek makes you less likely to get sick than shaking their hand.
John Holmberg
No kidding. Yeah, cuz cheeks don't touch toilets. Well, you know, and. But yeah. What?
Toledo
In Maryland, adultery is a misdemeanor punishable by a ten dollar fine.
John Holmberg
Really, it's worth it.
Toledo
London has more Indian restaurants than any city in India. And even more than in Mumbai and Delhi combined.
John Holmberg
Wait, London has more Indian restaurants than India? Yeah, I know there's a lot of them in London, but aren't all Indian restaurants in India Indian restaurants?
Toledo
No, because I think they're talking about actual brick and mortar restaurants where you'd have. I don't think that includes like the marketplace where the guy's making the foot.
John Holmberg
I know.
Toledo
Whatever.
John Holmberg
I know all Indian food is made with feet because of the videos we see. And I'm not arguing with you. I think you're right.
Toledo
That's my theory.
John Holmberg
I gotta think in a country of a billion and a half people that they've got more restaurants than London.
Toledo
Well, it's tougher. I mean, you also think there's a factor of the plumbing and stuff.
John Holmberg
God, you really are against this. This. And again, I'm not going to argue that you're wrong. They haven't got any plumbing and they make food with their feet. That's what we know about India. I have.
Toledo
But that's surprising about Mumbai too because.
John Holmberg
Well, Mumbai is a big city and, and there's. There are people with homes and toilets.
Brett Vesely
They.
John Holmberg
They have stuff. And there's a lot of poverty, but there's also a lot of wealth.
Brett Vesely
Sanjay said London has more Indians in India. Made me very uncomfortable.
John Holmberg
Yeah, there are a lot there.
Toledo
He's Indian.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's an Indian. I'm out of here. But I don't think that's a weird one. I don't know how big Mumbai and London's 20 million people. I don't know if Mumbai touches that or. What was the other city? Shanghai? I don't know. Delhi. New Delhi.
Brett Vesely
Huh.
John Holmberg
Interesting.
Toledo
FDR son Elliot Roosevelt wrote more than 20 mystery novels, many featuring his mother, Eleanor Roosevelt. As a detective. One of them. His books is titled New Deal for Death.
John Holmberg
Oh, his dad's New Deal.
Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
I loved it. Your prejudice came out against India and you. You did it like. No, I think this. They don't have plumbing. They make food with their feet and bazaars don't count. That was awesome. And again, probably.
Toledo
I don't know about the precious, but I just know.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's prejudice. Your first image of India, the poverty.
Toledo
Population is a lot. There's a lot bigger, isn't it?
John Holmberg
But that's prejudice. But there's prejudice. Okay. The first thoughts of India is your prejudice of them stirring up, you know, stuff with her feet. Crapping in rivers. Well, that and having no flow. No, you weren't. You were very serious when you said that. Your face. I don't think those count where they're stirring it up with their feet. That's your prejudice, which I loved and by the way, shared. I also feel that way.
Brett Vesely
Sanjay says cancel India.
John Holmberg
I can't. I can't say that. I know that. But we met. He can say that, though. Veer Das, the famous comedian. And he was working. He's working in America now, and he came here and he's very wealthy. He got a home and he makes food with his hands. But we are surprised by that. We're indoctrinated to believe that they all have eight arms, ride elephants to work, and make curry with their toes. I've eaten risotto off of feet before.
Toledo
Excuse me.
John Holmberg
No.
Toledo
Karen Memes have flooded the market for Internet for the past, I don't know, eight or 10 years. So the male version name is now Josh.
John Holmberg
You're a Josh. Well, that's not fair.
Toledo
They're basing it on the millennials because Josh was a popular name for millennial men. From 1981 to 1996, estimated 725,000 Joshes were in the U.S. quite a lot of Josh's.
John Holmberg
I just got the. I didn't get this. This needed to be more organized, but nationwide shutdown January 30th. No work, no school, no shopping.
Brett Vesely
Let's go.
John Holmberg
I out everywhere. It says, strike to save America. It's got 16,000 likes. He didn't really rally America. I mean, show those bigger.
Toledo
A new poll asked more than 9,000Americans how amped they were in general, excited for the Olympics. 7% of the people say they tune. Will tune in every single day. Another 17 say they will watch whenever they can. 33 said they'll probably watch a few events.
John Holmberg
Sure. Hockey's coming man, that that hockey Canada US and then you throw Sweden in there. There's some battles, there's some good games.
Toledo
30 days are planning to not watch anything.
John Holmberg
Oh, they're just poo pooing the question.
Toledo
12 aren't sure.
John Holmberg
I just don't know if I like.
Toledo
TV, but men are slightly more excited than women.
John Holmberg
I don't know if I'm excited, but I'm definitely going to check out some stuff.
Toledo
As for the opening ceremony next Friday, 18% say they will watch it live beginning at 2pm that's the best I.
Adam Ferrar
Could do because I can't put the real words in.
John Holmberg
Oh, you can't put you in WAP.
Adam Ferrar
It goes against guidelines so uses 0.
John Holmberg
And a 3, a 3 for the E and Jew and a 0 for WAP. But I like the scales of justice. Now I need those to be tilted one way. Okay With a favorable set of breasts on the heavy side.
Adam Ferrar
Okay.
John Holmberg
And then horrific cans big areola.
Toledo
You could make those scales jugs with.
John Holmberg
The way that's yeah, but one has to be good when so it has to the picture has to be two good boobs on the scale that's down and two terrible ones on the one that's up because justice favors the better breasts.
Adam Ferrar
Back to the drawing board.
John Holmberg
Get something something. Check out H's Morning Sickness podcast at.
Adam Ferrar
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John Holmberg
Holg's morning sickness. No, you got it. That's a good.
Brett Vesely
That's a good. You can get personalized plates in the Bronco for that.
John Holmberg
Chewing the W. It'll be a write off. Threes and zeros. Oh, my God. Can we predate the check to 2025 and get that right off this year?
Toledo
Toledo. I want our scales to be really long.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. They're just drooping way past where scale should be. They're on the ground. The scales of justice. Don't even think.
Adam Ferrar
One scale would be a head, the other one would be a gut.
John Holmberg
Yeah, and it just. They're both just hanging. Those chains are wobbly. No, they're not. They're representing the grossest breasts of all time. The Areola brothers. We call you law firm.
Toledo
And now it's time for some science news. Hello, I'm professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. We got breakfast news. A study found that eating nothing but oatmeal for two days can lower your cholesterol by 10%. Even after you stop, there's lasting effect. For six weeks, people in the study ate oatmeal three times a day with maybe a little fruit in its tent. Nothing else.
John Holmberg
By the way, somebody just sent me a thing that said brady's favorite watering hole is closing down for the ice out. And it says the Dragoon tap room. Brady's a fan of the tap dragon. I'm going to the tap dragon. Dragoon tap room is closed today. Joining the nationwide shutdown in solidarity with Tucson. I didn't know this was a thing or we wouldn't be here and I'd be on the news saying, yep, we took the day off. Do you know why they shot Martin Luther King?
Brett Vesely
Because we can.
John Holmberg
Because I don't know.
Toledo
They did a deep dive on whether flushing really really Transfers bacteria from your toilet to your toothbrush. The answer is yep. The only way to solve it would be installing a vacuum toilet. Like airplanes have.
Adam Ferrar
Don't brush your teeth in the.
Toledo
But if you have the wall. If your water closet with a door.
Brett Vesely
Closed, that helps a lot.
John Holmberg
Yeah. If you've got a toilet next to the sink and you flush all the molecules and kicks it up ours and the water cloth, you got your owners, too.
Toledo
Yeah, pretty good. There's enough distance there.
Adam Ferrar
Everybody had.
John Holmberg
I brush while I sit on the can. Can't get in there because it's in my mouth when I flush. Fair point.
Adam Ferrar
And are you. Are you multitasking? Oh, yeah.
Toledo
Are you?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Adam Ferrar
Really?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Blumpkin.
Toledo
Okay.
John Holmberg
Whole thing going on.
Toledo
All right.
Brett Vesely
That's impressive.
John Holmberg
You can. You can't brush and pee. It's the same time.
Toledo
I don't know that I've ever tried.
John Holmberg
It's easy. Do that, lean back, open your legs, spit it right down there. Yeah.
Adam Ferrar
Does the sonic, you know, action help?
Brett Vesely
Got be careful you don't miss.
John Holmberg
What do I got, Parkinson's? I'm just brushing my teeth.
Brett Vesely
Be careful you don't miss. You're going to get crest crank.
John Holmberg
Actually, you know what? I've often done that. I've hit it a few times. Really? Yeah. You just think you're minty fresh now.
Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
He said. Well, that's nice. If this thing gets, you know, fluoride.
Toledo
Gets on that junk, it'll make it dumber.
John Holmberg
Yeah, good. He's been thinking too much.
Toledo
Speaking of junk, we got junk science. Men in general have much bigger junk than males of other species. A new study looked at why we evolved that way, and there might be two reasons. Women like big junk and men fear it. The study found size does matter to women up to a certain point, and then men see it as a sign of dominance, which mattered more before clothes was a thing. So tiny junk may have mostly been bred out of semblance during natural selection.
John Holmberg
Well, there was that one study a long time ago. Why are all the Roman statues little penises? And that was the favorable thing back then, evidently, that they said that the smaller penises used to have bigger ones. Made you remember. They thought.
Toledo
Is that why it was more welcome?
John Holmberg
They thought you were dumb?
Toledo
It was a welcoming sign, like a pineapple.
John Holmberg
Yeah, pee pee was on your house. But they remember. They did. That was it. The Romans thought when you had a bigger dork, you were dumb because they didn't know anything. They thought your brains were your kidneys. They had no Idea what was what.
Toledo
So they just your science news.
John Holmberg
Your. Your big thing down there was creating stupid thoughts. And they're not wrong.
Toledo
We got a Florida man named Alexander Baker Depew. He was feeling romantic, so he decided to buy a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates for a dancer at a strip club. The flowers and chocolates ran them about $288. He paid for them with counterfeit funny money. The bills had the word replica on them and said they were not legal tender or only be used for motion pictures. That motion picture money.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it looks pretty good. But it does say replica.
Toledo
Then he went to the strip club, tried to pay the bar tab and some with some of the more with the movie money. Both the bartender and the florist realized the money was fake. They called the cops. Police showed up at the club, arrested Alexander. They searched him and then they found 400 more in counterfeit bills. Some cocaine and meth. Now he's facing felonies for the fake money.
John Holmberg
It's like a fair. It's had a great day with some fake money. He's going to pay for it. But.
Toledo
What do you think Alex? Looks like Alexander Baker Depew.
Brett Vesely
Like Larry English little dude.
John Holmberg
I'm gonna go skinny black guy.
Adam Ferrar
I'm going skinny cockneyed Englishman.
John Holmberg
Really?
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Toledo
I think Brett, you're the closest.
Adam Ferrar
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Nailed it. It's an average dude.
Adam Ferrar
It's the best Grot can do.
John Holmberg
I'm looking at the picture of the scales of justice. It's just a bra. That's just a bra, man.
Brett Vesely
We need Lady Liberty behind us.
Adam Ferrar
I mean, I'll have to merge a bunch of different images.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's just a bra.
Brett Vesely
Good start though.
John Holmberg
I guess it's a little crude.
Adam Ferrar
Boy, they really this made making AI no fun. They put all the brakes on everything. Everything I can't do.
John Holmberg
Hey, Scott Haynes points out. Have you ever noticed it's Judge Judy and Judge Wapner?
Toledo
That's true.
John Holmberg
These guys have been in law for a long time.
Toledo
We had a guy in Jackson, Alabama. He was crushed not once but twice in a garbage truck. Compacted twice while being in there. The person driving the truck is trying to stop by a kfc, unloaded it. It was a commercial dumpster. Yeah, the guy was sleeping in it, Unloaded that, dumped it in there. Didn't know that. Then the next stop was Popeyes. And when he got out of the truck at Popeyes, he heard the yelling.
John Holmberg
Brady, you're just making this. No Brady for Brett.
Adam Ferrar
Come on.
Toledo
Highway 43.
John Holmberg
He doesn't pick up any trash outside of KFC's and Popeyes.
Toledo
Well, yeah, he's not going to call. When the driver arrived at Popeyes, he heard the man calling for help.
Adam Ferrar
This story was written by Ebony. AI.
John Holmberg
Yeah, there's. You are. You're prejudice. There aren't Popeyes first off. There's not Popeyes and KFCs right next to each other.
Toledo
They're not that far apart.
John Holmberg
Yes, they are. Why would you open a Popeyes in Alabama?
Toledo
They're all over the place.
John Holmberg
They make them with their feet.
Toledo
The truck was a Hellcat trash truck. It's unbelievable, right?
John Holmberg
That's enough.
Brett Vesely
Detector going off.
John Holmberg
He didn't get smashed twice. He was living in a KFC dumpster.
Toledo
He was sleeping in the dumpster. The guy picked him up, dumped him up. Dumped him, squished it, did the compacting.
John Holmberg
Opened it up, went over to it.
Toledo
There might have been another stop in between, but they said then he pulled over the Popeyes.
John Holmberg
You said his name and it was.
Toledo
Compacted the second time. That's where a person heard yelling.
John Holmberg
You said it was his next stop. Well, it creating more your Ms. Now you're basically selling the story the way you want it to read.
Adam Ferrar
You doctored the photo.
John Holmberg
That's right. You doctored the photo for him, for your audience.
Toledo
All I have in the story is.
John Holmberg
No. What? Doesn't matter what you have. What you said.
Toledo
Garbage truck on Wednesday at 5:30 in the morning. The man was compacted twice. First KFC off Highway 43 and then again.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Toledo
At the Hampton Inn next door. Then when the driver. Hampton Inn in between.
John Holmberg
There's the story for real. Thank you. Ms.
Toledo
Arrived at the Popeyes. Yep.
John Holmberg
I got a crazy route out there now driving around out here in my car and how the hell did I get in here anyway? I got to go to the kfc. Then we're stopping the churches.
Toledo
The.
John Holmberg
I got the Popeyes.
Toledo
That's shut off on the second compact.
John Holmberg
What is that?
Adam Ferrar
Somebody lit a bird in.
John Holmberg
There was ceiling birds in my truck. That is a racist story you told Brady without even being raced. I believe him.
Toledo
Kfc, Hampton Inn, Popeyes.
John Holmberg
Hampton Inn's change all that much? Yes, because your eyes people in the room. This is why we can't have cameras in here. Because Brady went. Just hear my eyes go towards Brett. First he got picked up at the.
Toledo
KF.
John Holmberg
And then his next stop was Popeyes. Your words. You were feeding that beast. Come on, you have no shame.
Toledo
Last there was a survey of American couples asking them how often Are they having sex? 25% of American couples say they have sex only one time per month or less. 24% say it happens occasionally two or three times a month. 26% say regularly four or five times. And there's 25% that say they have it eight or more times a month.
John Holmberg
If it's not five or more a month, your wife is failing you.
Toledo
71% report being satisfied with their sex lives. 43.
Brett Vesely
Because her wife was standing right next to him.
John Holmberg
Exactly. Are you happy with your sex? Oh, they asked you a question there, Robert. Are you gonna answer him? Are you happy with the sex we have, Bob? Yeah, everything's great.
Toledo
She's awesome.
John Holmberg
It's constant love. It never ending.
Toledo
The average couple does the deed four times per month for 18.6 minutes each time. That adds up to about 15 hours over a course of a year.
John Holmberg
Yeah. No jokes. Be honest. Are you an 18 minute guy from process?
Toledo
No.
John Holmberg
No. You just get her done.
Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Let's get this going.
Toledo
Yeah. Once we start going, it's over. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Look at that.
Toledo
I don't think. I don't think it would be 18.
John Holmberg
Why'd you go some hound dog on that? Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Toledo
Depends.
John Holmberg
Pump, pump, sleep.
Adam Ferrar
Isn't that everybody?
Toledo
Why'd you have so many pumps in there?
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a double pump. That was a big Friday.
Toledo
Which interesting is 27% of people say their partner rarely or never surprises them with a nice gesture. 54% said they wish their partner would surprise them more with sex, which goes back with the answer that you're saying, oh, their. Their partner was in the room with them when they're answering some of the questions.
John Holmberg
All a man wants is to be desired. That's it. You. You've won the battle if you act like you like him. We don't care about anything else. Something, something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at.
Toledo
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Brett Vesely
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John Holmberg
Just act like you like us. If you show interest, we're happy. It's. It's not.
Brett Vesely
We are so.
Toledo
It goes a mile.
John Holmberg
We are so uncomplicated, it goes two miles. So uncomplicated. It's and. And trying to make more of it. It's just show interest and we'll be interested.
Adam Ferrar
Show us a boob every once in a while.
John Holmberg
Look at how excited it got when Rick was showing us his boobs. I mean, come on. He seemed interested.
Brett Vesely
Absolutely.
John Holmberg
Show interest. Act like you want to do stuff. And we're like, all right, you're gonna get everything. You're gonna get everything. You guys make it so hard.
Toledo
I got a couple of radio videos. First one is a one of Toledo and I's clients. Roller skates.
John Holmberg
Oh, some nasty flapjacks. Heading towards Fat man and the Cuck law firm. Oh, boy.
Toledo
She might have been sighted, too, on the street.
Brett Vesely
Gonna get her out of this one.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Can you guys get her off, so to speak? She's gonna go to jail. She's going to jail.
Adam Ferrar
Yeah, we'll get her.
Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
All right, so it's a lady with gross breasts.
Toledo
There we go.
John Holmberg
Roller skating, or everybody's doing. Oh, she's having. Oh, she just. She uses another person by the way.
Adam Ferrar
That's a pen.
John Holmberg
When she gets out of control.
Toledo
Illegal use of a bigot.
John Holmberg
She grabs a bigger woman to break her fall. Who's unsuspecting.
Toledo
Her choice between the two is smarter.
John Holmberg
Well, she just took the closest. By the way, who thought it was a good idea to put Babar on roller skates and send her down a hill. Big girls going down hills on wheels is bad. That was. Somebody's trying to kill her.
Adam Ferrar
She might have snatched ankle at the end there, too.
John Holmberg
Yeah, she's definitely one of your clients.
Brett Vesely
Snapped a cankle, huh?
John Holmberg
Those cankles are safe.
Toledo
We cashed in on that one.
Adam Ferrar
Yeah, our law firm can't help with that.
John Holmberg
Good news is she's got all that padding, that no one was hurt when she hit the ground after the fall.
Brett Vesely
Other than the asphalt. Might have a. Oh, the asphalt suit against her.
John Holmberg
The city's got some repair work. There'll be some barricades around that hole she made.
Toledo
Next one's a motorcycle jump.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Toledo
His own.
John Holmberg
Whoa.
Toledo
Over a house.
John Holmberg
He jumps over a house.
Toledo
Yeah, it doesn't quite make it.
John Holmberg
Almost gets. Oh, that's a.
Toledo
Look.
John Holmberg
He goes about a hundred yards, though.
Adam Ferrar
Is it better that he falls down the incline than landing flat?
Toledo
I think they say the guy's name Jason. Is it Borowski?
John Holmberg
Where is this?
Brett Vesely
Like, Ireland?
John Holmberg
It's beautiful. This house on top of, like, a hill and that gorgeous green everywhere. As the dumbest Irishman in the world tries to jump a house from a hunt.
Brett Vesely
You wear a mi. Cat.
John Holmberg
He's gonna. He's got a mick helmet on. Gonna try to jump your house. The ramp is so far away.
Adam Ferrar
Why are you doing that?
John Holmberg
The hell you doing that for? You got to go at least 200 miles an hour to get over the house from that ramp that's built at least 80 yards from the front of the house. I've been drinking. I can do this.
Toledo
The last one's a matador skewer.
John Holmberg
Count on it. I'm going over your house. It's not rolled away or not. You're not gonna make it. Oh, my God. A bull just picked a man up by the spine.
Toledo
He had the picador out, and he got picked right.
John Holmberg
Right through his butthole. And he picked him up and carried him around by the horn for.
Brett Vesely
Oh, the medics come out there. Just bring me a gun.
John Holmberg
I'm killing myself through the butt. God. How do bulls know where our buttholes are? It seems like that's where they aim. They know the weak point. They know where matadors butthole is because those horns hit it almost. Oh, man.
Toledo
Planked.
John Holmberg
He's in the full 2011 plank move. Oh, my God. Toledo. You just accidentally airdropped that to my phone. It's now playing on my phone. I gotta watch this matador get butt planked by the.
Toledo
It doesn't get old.
John Holmberg
No, it's the gift that keeps giving. All right, Brett, what do you got?
Brett Vesely
All right, we'll start off light, and we'll go from there.
John Holmberg
All right, we're at a club. We're dancing. It's not a nice place. This guy grabs the pole, puts his hands behind the pole. He's leaning on it. He tries to go up and do a backflip. It lands directly on his head on a dirt floor in a country only Toledo would go to go to. That's kind of proven Brady's point. They're eating with their feet again.
Toledo
That might have been a restaurant. Well, here.
Brett Vesely
Here's a restaurant.
John Holmberg
It's next to a Chipotle. There's a guy sitting in, and he's just taking a huge. He's pooping his pants in a restaurant, and it's coming out of the top. It's rooster.
Toledo
Over the canvas.
Adam Ferrar
Not to bring Brady's racism back into this, but you see what nationality he might be?
John Holmberg
No.
Brett Vesely
How do you know?
Adam Ferrar
Look at his head again. Maybe.
John Holmberg
What are you talking about? Look at him. What's wrong with his head? Look right there.
Brett Vesely
What am I missing?
John Holmberg
What am I missing?
Toledo
He thinks he might be Indian.
John Holmberg
He's just a white guy. I'm pretty sure he's just a white guy. He's just dropping a huge deuce out of his jeans.
Toledo
Hispanic. I don't know.
John Holmberg
What.
Toledo
I don't.
John Holmberg
I don't see. What you guys are seeing.
Toledo
Is that a blood pressure cuff.
John Holmberg
It's not working. He's taking his bp and you would know. Yeah. He's sitting there thinking to himself, I don't feel so good.
Brett Vesely
I. Asian dinner.
John Holmberg
All right. Oh, God. It's a naked Asian squatting. She's got something in her mouth. She's chewing it. She's gonna spit it on us. Oh, she's gonna throw up. But we're gonna.
Toledo
Another client of ours.
John Holmberg
It's from the. I think what it is.
Adam Ferrar
Yeah, it's from down.
John Holmberg
Is it poop? Yep. She's eating poop and hovering over the camera. Naked, but. Oh, there's another spoon going in, and it's. It's that orange stuff. It's Taco Bell poop. Oh, man. I Hate the planet.
Brett Vesely
All right, man, get away from poop for a minute.
John Holmberg
Oh, for a minute? Yeah, for a minute. So many videos of different people. There's a girl with her own fist.
Adam Ferrar
In her butt searching for poop there.
Brett Vesely
Come on.
John Holmberg
She's got her. She's reached behind herself, and she's. She's puppeteering her own body. There's her hand, and her hand is in her tummy. And you can see it pushing through her skinny little tummy.
Toledo
Christmas tree, all the toys, you know.
John Holmberg
She'S got a good Christmas coming her way, so to speak. Look at her. She's pointing to it. Like we wouldn't notice her tummy moving around with her hand in it. She's limber.
Byron
Wow.
Toledo
That's part of her protesting activity.
John Holmberg
That's right. Ice out now, or I don't stop doing this.
Adam Ferrar
And she's flipping the bird in there.
John Holmberg
Maybe. Yeah. It's her own inner protest. All right, here's another one. Girl in a boat drinking beer in a USA bikini top. That's not really. Well, she got an AR15 now. Oh, that's a transvestite getting a. I was fooled. I was fooled. Yeah, I was fooled. That is a. All right, I'll try to do play by play on that a second time. There we go.
Brett Vesely
Ready?
John Holmberg
All right. First thing we see is a lady holding an AR15 firing it in an American bikini top. And then it pans back, it zooms out, and it turns out that this lady firing the gun ain't a lady at all. She's got a nice hog. And there's a. Another woman performing a mouth hug on that woman's penis.
Brett Vesely
We're not taking. We're not taking her as a client.
John Holmberg
No, no, no. We wouldn't even be fooled by the breasts. First I was thinking, it's a hell of a woman out there guzzling a tall boy and shooting her AR15 and her USA and then I saw her dick, and I'm like, oh, we'll show that one to Adam and see if he's all right. Well, there's more.
Brett Vesely
Here's some talent for you.
John Holmberg
Oh, no. Oh, God. It's a woman tying her labia in a knot. And it's her inner labia. She's got, like. What's in there? Balloon animals over here. She's doing balloon animals with her puppetry of the labia.
Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
A delicate process. She's tied it into a little slipknot around her thong. Wow. Which is now stretched out. Yeah, she looked good, except for the meat curtains.
Toledo
Wow.
John Holmberg
The cans are fantastic. She is in our law firm.
Adam Ferrar
Did I miss the beginning? Is it like.
John Holmberg
No, I just started tying them together.
Brett Vesely
I was just. Just balloon animals right away.
Adam Ferrar
Well, all right.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. It's like your shoelaces. Her labia are like shoelaces. I've never said that phrase in my entire life, ever.
Brett Vesely
Trying to bring back a trend.
Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Strawberry. Oh, I can snort. Oh, no. Oh, geez. It's a lady with a funnel in her nostril, and a guy is finishing in the funnel, and it's draining into her nose.
Toledo
Come on, Navaj.
John Holmberg
It is. Yeah, she's got a.
Brett Vesely
This is.
John Holmberg
Oh, Then she goes.
Toledo
See it? But the sound.
John Holmberg
All right, now that you guys know.
Brett Vesely
What just happened, Trash can to Brady this time.
John Holmberg
Quick refresher. He's finishing, and he's finishing. And it's a Peter north style video into a funnel into this woman's nostril. She's got, like, a neti pot kind of thing going. Yeah. And now she snorts it all through the funnel. That one's hard for you. Yeah, I know. It's kind of hot.
Brett Vesely
All right, then we'll finish with this. Come on.
John Holmberg
She's a swallower, and she's found new ways to make it fun. All right, there's an Asian woman sitting on a bed with her hands next to her. Looks to be another Asian woman approaching her.
Adam Ferrar
The same soundtrack.
John Holmberg
It just throws up on her. Twice in the lap three times. This lady has been eating tacos for days. Oh, she's going in for the UCLA bill. Oh, another Asian has shown up, and they're all throwing up on her.
Toledo
How did she fall yet?
John Holmberg
She isn't. The other one's just dry. Heavy. The fat one is just a vomitorium. Oh, she's decided to sit with her ass in the air now and get thrown up on that one. What does that girl have? Oh, those are great Asian cans. And now the fat one reaches into her throat. Now Buddha won't stop puking on this beautiful lady. Now she's nude, and all the Asians are throwing up on her using devices. What is she holding?
Toledo
Is she sticking a fish down his throat?
John Holmberg
Brady, that's prejudice again. She is not just. Just jamming fish in her throat. Oh, my God, she's crying.
Brett Vesely
Nice cans, though.
John Holmberg
She's beautiful. Yeah, that lady that got puked on 30 times, she got on the photo radar.
Brett Vesely
That could make it into the top 10.
John Holmberg
It's just proof that even she's got.
Adam Ferrar
Credits on photo radar.
John Holmberg
Yeah, even Asian Uncles mess women up. God damn it. That one got me. I like that one. I'm just glad she didn't start spooning it up. That's what I was expecting after the. The big fat Buddha one was just full of vomit.
Toledo
That was mega volume.
John Holmberg
Well, it's time for a guest. Clean up the. Clean up the room, kids. We've got guests.
Brett Vesely
We have. Victor here has basically come up with our.
John Holmberg
I think we're out there.
Brett Vesely
Oh, there we go. I think he screwed.
John Holmberg
I wrecked it. What's it say?
Brett Vesely
It's for our law.
John Holmberg
Oh, here it goes.
Toledo
Here goes.
John Holmberg
Our law firm has a specialties, says counselor. Your law firm has all four of you, and each one specializes in certain law matters. Holmberg works on white collar and financial crimes. I see what he's doing there. Brett specializes in criminal cases and organized crime. Toledo family law matters. And Brady food law and consumer protections. You've got it covered. Thank you, Victor. That is the whop and the jew, and it's a beautiful thing. Adam Ferrar is going to come back in here this morning. We had so much fun with him yesterday. And evidently tickets didn't move. So he's back again today to try to sell some tickets for his shows this weekend. We'll talk to Adam next. It's 98.
Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new friends@liftedtrucks.com. here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at lifted trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized. Countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me choose lifted trucks and lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com when you're dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars, you want people in your camp who are legit and have a solid rep. And I don't think it gets much more solid than an a plus from the better business bureau. Not a lot of banks have that, but life changer loan does. People who have made this move to life change alone all say this is better than the old way. And they recognize that it's just a matter of going to the website, doing a little math and seeing if it's right for them. If you're great with your money, just check it out and live that A plus life because there is no catch. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com.
Episode: 01-30-26 – "BR- F RI - Brady's Cultural Bigotry Comes Out In Story On Mumbai - Sci News On Brushing Teeth And Toilets – Garbage Man Picks Up Homeless Man At KFC And Compacts Him Again At Popeyes"
Date: January 30, 2026
Main Cast: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo, Adam Ferrara (guest)
The episode features the usual crew's sharp, irreverent banter with guest Adam Ferrara joining in. Highlights include playful accusations of cultural bias, especially around a debate about Indian restaurants, an irreverent dive into "science news" about hygiene and human anatomy, wild Florida man stories, and the infamous tale of a homeless man compacted in a garbage truck. Throughout, the show punctuates its signature mix of crude humor, law firm antics, and boundary-pushing "radio videos" sent in by listeners.
Holmberg’s Morning Sickness leans into absurd, explicit, and sometimes offensive humor, with the cast playing up stereotypes, bouncing banter off one another, and delighting in juvenile descriptions of bodily functions and sexuality. Listeners should expect irreverence, a willingness to probe taboo topics for laughs, and a constant blurring of fact and farce—anchored by ongoing in-jokes about “prejudice,” law firm antics, and the wildest “radio videos” heard (and described) on Arizona radio.