← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
01-30-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
00:54:37
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You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that? Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands. Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple. There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about my friends@turfmonstersaz.com you got something you want to do in that backyard because it's just not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful. With turfmonstersaz.com you can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up and they can make it a reality. Turf Monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space you can use every day of the year. Check it out right now. Turf monsters AZ.comberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I had a busy day yesterday and forgot to eat completely. Didn't have any food. I had a little bit of snacky stuff during breakfast. Something that never happens to me. I know you don't relate to that, but I got to the Sun's game. Anthony and I are hanging out down there and I'm like, I have not had anything to eat. And you know when nothing there's no, I didn't, you know, I didn't want to order. I'm like, at this point, I don't know. It's 7:30. It's like getting too late to just pile food in. So I'm like, why not get to sleep while I don't sleep? Last night I was going to sleep, but I was like, I don't know what to do. So I haven't done this in a long, long time. But on the way home, I stopped off and did the that. All right, let's try one of this Taco Bell late night deals. I haven't done this for a minute. You know, used to get drunk and do Jack in the Box. I wasn't drunk or anything, but it was like Jack in the box talk. So I hit the Taco Bell and because I had a long day, ate the Taco Bell. And I think I was still chewing When I finally fell asleep, I was on the couch. And I woke up on the couch a couple hours later and I remembered why I don't eat Taco Bell right before I am going to bed. Holy. My God. I was a faucet. It was. I'm clean, I'm clean, I'm clean. We're good. It was a cleansing. It was. I mean, ozempics got nothing on what was going on with me for about 45 minutes to an hour. It was brutal. And I'm like, I. This is it. I should have just gone to bed hungry and been okay with the day without food. I'm fine without it. I couldn't. It was terrible idea. And I ate it in like a second because, you know, you're like, I haven't eaten all this. Three tacos and a quesadilla. They're gone. Gone. And I woke up, just got Taylor in the whole bathroom. It was brutal. Brutal. So I'm on a razor's edge every time my stomach makes a move right now. Just in case. Yeah, it did some damn. No, no. Discredit to Taco Bell. Delicious. Amazing. Thank you. Fantastic operation you got there. My own fault. Go with your standard order that you've been over the years. The three. Three soft chicken, soft T and a quesadilla. That's. It was fantastic. And yeah, it's. It's been a while since I've done that. Right. And then I went right to sleep. Like had I had a couple hours to maneuver. My whole body just kind of shut off. Like, this is perfect. Oh, no, it's not. It's. And it wasn't painful. It was just a lot. So kind of sitting on the edge of the chair right now wondering, am I going to have to run home Because I'm not going to tailor up the office here. So if a. If a best of starts just out of nowhere, no if for no reason at all, you hear Eric or Bo, it's like, we're gonna go deep. Yeah, well, we can't. Well, trust me, I'm going deep. There's some depth to this one. It was not good. It was weird. Yeah. There may be a 20 or 25 minute. John had to go. In fact, I'll just go, is that Ralphie May? Yeah, let's see. Ralphie's back and all the dead comedians. Normal, beyond. What is that a Marriott down the road here? Yeah. Let's go. I'll get a room. I'll go get a room real quick. I'll get the rental. I'll go right. Right across the road. Let's go. I'm good. That's empty. Sully that. Either way, there's a possibility that I'm gonna have to put a plan in action here. But I feel fine right now. But, man, it was. It was about 12:45. And that. You know, that odd kind of bowel knock. What the hell's going on? Down. 40 minutes. They weren't doorbell ditching. No. And then I. It was one of those things where you just get up and you're like, all right. I got in the shower and cleaned up. That was weird. And took two steps out of the shower. Like, here we go. I took three showers from about 12:45 to 2. 2:30. I'm going, I'm showering. I'm going, I'm showering my. That's got to be it. There can't be anything left in there. Had a little Pedialyte, too. That was a mistake. Oh, there you go. That's the stuff. Jesus Christ. Well, you know, I had to rehydrate. Oh, my God. I was down. I was done. And like, I got Pedialyte. Throw some Pedialyte in there. That stuff's no good. No, this is. I'm not making good decisions. Don't try to squeeze a little one out because it's gonna let go. That's exactly right. Brett, eat a bunch of prunes. A fun. Hanging with the guy's fart right now is not on the table. Just letting you guys know. Yeah. Eventually you might hear, you know, Vesta bow or. Yeah. B.B. jones might be back on Ralphie. Norm. So many of the dead comedians we've had in the past might. We might revisit them while I go. But I won't do it here at the office. That's a promise I've made. Headbird. Yeah. Oh, man, I'd love to hear that. Maybe. Maybe I'll force one out just so you guys can hear Mitch again. Adam Ferraro will be here at like, 8:30. Hopefully I can hold on to then. And then we'll just let Adam take over the last 90 minutes and I can go clean up. Boy, it was. It was. And it's because I just. It was cheesy and greasy, and I knew it while I was eating it. I'm like, oh, this one's. These. These are especially late night. Like, the dude behind the counter was late night prepping some of this for care. Yeah. Some of the chicken was a little bit slippery. I'm fine with it. I had to eat. But you know what I could have done is a little more bread, something a little more sensible mix in, like, you know, could have gone to the fries, just. But I did. I was being lazy. I wanted to drive through. I want a quick hit. I actually considered a bear toes on the way. Well, there was. I'm like, same results. Yeah. Oh, it would have been if not. Would have been worse. Yeah. A little more lettuce. Jack in the Box was on the menu. I thought water burger, because they had, you know, it was almost like 10:30 or something. Like, I got another half hour before they close. I'm like, no, I don't want to push it. Taco Bell stays open late. They brag about it. I'm going in. And now I know why everybody talks about the bull. It was rough. It was rough. If you had a Baja Blast, I would have kept it down. I don't know what that is said in the Mountain Dew, you know, and I don't pay that. Then you'd have been up all night, too. Yeah. What am I going to the Dunes? The Baja Blast. That's not a flavor. That's an event. Is that real? Oh, yeah. Mountain Dew's got so many colors. Oh, I know. I don't even know. It's like Kool Aid now. You just. I'll take the purple. Well, you know, they'll get mad, but it's like Angelina Jolie's family. It's just all over. They're going to yell at me, but I don't drink it because I'm not a hillbilly. I like. Yeah, I like flavors that aren't, like, trying to entice me to, you know, snowboard down a dirt hill. I don't need the extreme adventures. Just want a sip of something. It's weird, you know, you never go to a nice restaurant and go just get Baja Blast or Polar Punch or Arctic. We don't have that. Arctic Menace. That's a flavor. Yeah, I'll have Arctic Menace. What does that mean? I don't know. I think it's a warlock from the North Pole. They did. They named a flavor. If you lick them, it tastes the same. Pulled up on my Sandra. Yeah. Just got done repelling from a mountaintop and I really need a bombastic berry. Is that a real berry? Yeah, it's from the tree. Bombastic you poured into steak 44. Yeah. Little Rock and roll on the bench. Take my goggles off. I'm sunburned everywhere but my eyes. I've been boarding all day and I'm looking for a 8 ounce filet and a berry surprise Smash face come. Sound like Keanu from Point Break and stuff. This is the dumbest name. Gum is another one they like. Those aren't flavors. What is that? Just names of things that like. Like it's stuff you'd name a. Like a douchebag would name his car. But what are you gonna do? What was the one you said? Baja Blast. Baja Blast. And it's just Mountain Dew. It's like purple. That one is like green. Aqua. Light blue. Oh, it's light blue. Okay. What's the red one? Extreme. Yeah. I don't know. Oh, code red. It's called heavy flow. That 28 days Mountain Dew. Even fro there's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com Football's biggest game is right in front of us, and you've still got time to get in on the action with Underdog. It's Brady from the morning Cygnus. And playing on Underdog is so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats, and if your picks are right, you could win 5,000 times your money. I'm going to go higher on Sam Darnold passing yards. So download the Underdog app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries. When you play your first $5 underdog make picks win. Money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in state where Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms. Underscore dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7HOPE line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467369. You know when you're looking for your f comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand Up Live and Eastside. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertreachimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. It's time that I got back on my horse here and fixed the world there. They've made it official now and it's my job to wreck this again. Now keep in mind, I'm gonna take credit for this. I, me did all the work about probably 2009, 16, 17 years ago, I, your humble moderator, sans the humble part, destroyed photo radar in this town. I single handedly, I believe that it was me because I was the one. I got letters from the attorney general. I believe it was Terry Goddard was the guy. And he wrote me letters and he got on my side when I got mad at that car wash place that stole stuff out of my car. And then we found out that they basically put up signs at the car wash at the time that said, hey, you leave in your car, it's ours. And you know, we got a big thing, we got a big movement there. That guy ended up getting in trouble for other stuff and I feel a little bit responsible for that, but he was going to sue me, which made me realize how right I was. The photo radar I got, I realized that it's an unlawful situation. And Phoenix people threw a fit because they were right. I caused the uproar. I had my incidents and then went in and threw a fit at the Paradise Valley place. And all I did was drive around with a gigantic dildo in my car and have it photograph me. And it's got to start again. We got to do it again. And I would speed on purpose past these, these cameras. By the way, it's a 12 million dollar contract with a company. This is not the city doing this. It's a company that gets $12 million to take pictures of us driving and then accuse us of stuff. Whether we're speeding or not, you don't know. And so I would drive around with a dick in front of my face and speed past the cameras. I've got a couple of them at the house, framed. They're fantastic. And giant veiny black one too, was Huge. But the bad news was, one of my pictures was black and white. The clearer one is black and white. You couldn't see the ebony depth of what I was holding as I sped through it. It was a cylinder. It was. Well, no, you can tell it's a humongous Lex Steel version. But the black and white doesn't give it to the color. One wasn't good. A photo again, clear as day that I'm holding a dick. Gave it to my neighbor at the time who had a young child. He was also a bald man. And he took it to the Paradise Valley courthouse. The picture of me driving around with the. I knew I'd get one. I drove 18, 19 snapshots I tried to get. I knew that one would get mailed. And it did. Two of them, in fact. And I gave it to him. And I said, take this over to the. To the courthouse and tell them that your son opened the mail. And the state is now mailing pornographic material to houses randomly. And that one of the mailman accidentally gave it to the wrong house, the wrong address. And his son opened it, and he's like, they lost it. Like, that place was in full scramble. It was phenomenal. Great stuff. He goes, is this me? I don't think so. It's not my car. It's not my address. But my son opened it, gives it to the lady behind the counter. She's all of a sudden going up the ranks. We've got mayors on the. It was great. Shortly after my rant about that saying, never pay one. And I believe it is just a trap for old people. This is as big a scam as when people online try to get grandma to give them money. It's the same thing. What the news covers is like, oh, a woman gave all her riches to a man she never met in Dallas. It's the same thing. So they're starting it again, starting in February on the 23rd. The cameras are going back up. They're putting 17 up in Phoenix, like. Like, we forgot that it was an unlawful act back then. And we got to do it again. Everybody got to do it again. Did you hear Dicks Out? I say, brady, it's the Dicks out campaign from Hubbard Radio and 98 KUPD. And they agree with all of it. Nobody will. Dick's out from Hubbard. Here comes Toledo. That's the other thing, too. I've heard it was, like, around 2009. I forget the year, but everyone that got the photo, radar ticket, and Tempe or Mesa. Mesa, it was automated. It Was a stamp by the judge, wasn't even signed. Yeah, there's no people with Joe Biden's auto and the judge that the signature on there had died. Yep, they have. They've got tons of them. It's an assembly line of. Everybody's upset. Oh, the government's taking your rights and doing. It's right in front of you. And this isn't red or blue. It's all of you. It's an attack against the Citizens for a. It's a moneymaker. It's basically like when a radio station goes, ah, we're having a little trouble here. Give away some cash. It's a go to. To get money in. It's a fundraiser. Do not pay those. Tell your parents to not pay those. Tell your grandparents especially to not pay those. They say it's for safety. If that were true, it would be at every intersection. They'd be like, we're just doing this for safety's sake. We want cameras up to see what happened, not to find you. No, because without the cameras, you guys just blaze around hitting each other. No, we don't. No, we don't. Red light cameras are there in case you run a red light. They can take a picture. And if you do something really bad, it catches. Can confirm. Yeah. Can sight you properly. I still, you know, running a red light's a strange thing to me because. Because that camera and I still don't think they should be ticketed. I think those cameras should go off. When somebody goes through a red light. There should be a. An immediate flash when the thing goes. And it's like, yep, that's fine for an incident. These cameras do not pay these tickets. And I know it's scary. On the bottom it says they'll suspend your life. They can't. Absolutely cannot do it. They have to process serve you. And if they do that, then you. But if they did that, they would lose money on the deal because it costs a lot of money to send a process server to go find you. That's a fee that they have to pay. They don't want to. So just throw it away. You never got it. How much mail do you look at and throw away? A lot. Almost all of it. 95%. Almost all of it. Put it in that pile. Just go, Nope, nothing. It's like somebody knocking on your door. If they didn't text, don't answer it. You're not. It's not lawful to cite you and fine you without a human being saying, here's what you did. And then you Know who you gonna face in court? I don't wanna sound like a lunatic, but it's borderline unconstitutional. If I go to court to fight it, there's no people. I don't get to face my accuser. So make them roll in the car and calibrate the machine right in front of you. They're not gonna go to that expense. They'll throw it out. It's a fundraiser that none of us are interested in. So let. Their fundraiser this time doesn't raise enough money and they have to stop the program. Let's treat it like Porkopolis. Nobody pay for it. We're not going there anymore. I can't believe they're pulling this off. And they're trying to be all fun about all the. At first it's just warnings. They're all warnings. That's all it is. It's all a warning. Never pay a photo radar ticket, ever. That's right. Coppers and the cops know it. They're not into this. It doesn't make their jobs better. They don't. They have nothing to do with it. It's your city officials, it's your government officials. Know the cops aren't involved. By the way, don't get mad at law enforcement for this one. It's not them. It's the jackasses down at the city meetings that no one goes to. Even though we're all so political, we don't know what to do. But you won't take five minutes out of your day to go being activists. Go to an actual local thing, and that affects you. Nobody will take the time to do that. You just want to. You just want to go to Instagram and yell at what's going on somewhere else. Because you're not really political. You're charged up by the news. That's all it is. Nobody's really political until you go sit at a city council meeting and say, I'm going to get involved. You're not political. You're just yelling. You're yelling into the ether in the void. This way. This is how they pull this crap. This was a vote. This was. This went through a bunch of people and they're like, are they. Did they forget about the thing? It's been a while, and we could use a. We could use a little influx of cash. That photo radar thing seems to scare old people. And they send us 85 bucks a clip. Do you think their goal with this is to have everybody slow down and no one gets a ticket? You think that's their end goal? Well, it would be great if we never issued one. You'd lose your ass. It's 12 million to zero. They want their money. They want at least 12 million back. Trust me, don't pay it. Tell your friends how many staff parties though that we could have with that extra money. They're probably looking to get, you know, we want to get the whole staff meta glasses, like let's. What's a good campaign to get everybody that nobody's paying attention. We can do whatever we want. And they brought this back. And it's a new generation because you think about it, when they stopped it last time was probably 2012 when they got rid of, if you remember, they were everywhere. Like every mile was another red flecks box. And that was a company that was killing it. And then just in a contract with the city to do all the work themselves and they, they nailed us on it. And we, we, I barked and barked and then suddenly the news was like, we can't have this anymore. Somebody exposed it. Sixteen, 17 years later, it's a new generation of drivers, a new group of people that probably didn't know what went on here before. And they're bringing back the photo rate for your safety. Bull. They don't care about your safety. There's something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com It's John Holmer here from the Morning Sickness to tell you about underdog. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite players are going to go higher or lower on stats like points, rebounds, steals and more. This week I'm looking at the NBA when Binyama is going to be higher than 10 rebounds in a game. Devin Booker. I'm going higher than six assists in his next game. Download the app today and use the promo code H. HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code HMS Underdog Make Picks Win Money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama, Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms._dfs_html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play called 1-800- Gambler or visit www.ncpcgambling.org. in New York, call the Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny467-3-6-9. The playoffs are here and Hooters just upgraded your game plan. Our beer of the month went from 14 ounces to a massive 25 ounces starting at just $4. That's a bigger beer for every kickoff drive and touchdown. And while you're here, load up on wings, burgers and all your favorites. Come in for the playoffs. Stay for the food, the cold beer and non stop football. Plus every Hooters is giving away an 85 inch smart TV for the big game. Must be present to win. Hooters come for the football. Stay for everything else. Holmberg's morning sickness. Look no further than what they're doing with the pretty guy that got shot. There's not going to be as much sympathy if you put regular photos of him. And that's not me saying that. That's the news. Did you see what they photoshopped him to be a little bit bigger and his jawline and they fixed his teeth and they're putting him up on, on msnbc. Haven't seen that. Yeah, they remember when they did it to oj. They've been doing this for years, but they did it to OJ years ago. And they also find bad pictures of. But they make them sinister. They added darkness to OJ's picture and shadows. And the real picture wasn't that bad. But the one that they put on the COVID of Time magazine to sell magazines was, holy cow, OJ's the devil. This Preddy thing. Pretty. Is his name pretty? The guy that got shot wasn't the most attractive dude. I mean, that's not. I didn't care. But evidently the news did. Especially the ones that wanted to make you feel like he's a, you know, the greatest person that ever lived. And I don't know the story. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. But they, they filtered and altered his photo for tv. Which means what I just said is true. Ugly people are not gonna get the sympathy and the attention in a, in a court case, especially as a good looking person. That's why they always dress you up in court. You got to look the best. Look at those pictures. It is really weird that they did this and it's so manipulative and it's so like, I mean, they made him a little bit. I hate to say this because he's, you know, dead. They made him look a little bit more handsome, manly. They made his jawline a little different. They of kind, they gave him a tan. They kind of fixed his hair to look a little less male. Pattern baldness. And a little more just scruffy. And it's. I mean, it is a much better look. It's a filtered photo. Everybody understands. It's what you guys all have as your profile pictures. It's not you. You see a real picture of yourself like, who the hell is that? And then you go and you, you put it through the star wash and like, that's who I think I look like. It's not you. That's what. I guess Ms. Now is what it's called, right? Ms. Now. Not MSNBC. But I just. Yeah, you know, you can't be unattractive and get good representation or, you know, public sympathy. Evidently, according to the people that think this story's big enough to make us all fight, they had to doctor the pictures. That tells me everything I need to know about this. There's an. There's a leaning agenda on both sides because the only reason I knew about it is because the other side started to say, they fixed the photo. He's not that good looking. And I'm like, what does that matter if he's ugly and he got shot? If he's pretty and he got shot, he got shot. What's the story? No, no, no, not according to how they're selling it to you. The other side has him dirty dreads and he looks terrible. And I don't know if they doctored it to make him look whiter and like washed out and skinny. He worked at a smoke shop or something. Yeah. I mean, it looks like he's straight out of a Chiba Hut interview. And they said no. And then the Ms. Now one's like, this is a good looking man. He said, it's a shame that this happened. And you do have more sympathy for somebody that presents better than somebody that looks a little scru. You have judgment on someone in a picture. It's like, ah, this guy looks like a hippie. But if they. I mean, do you see the. Have you found it? No. Watch. Just go to MSNBC's doctored photos of pretty. And then I'm like, we're never going to get the truth. We're never going to hear what they just. The fight is on. And that's what we're saying to you, Cheryl, go get your cans fixed and then start speeding around and maybe Brett and I'll represent you. But in the meantime, it's Toledo Esquire. That's who you get. We do reserve the right to pass you down to Toledo. Absolutely. If you photoshopped. And we'll give you a really nice Letter that says, after evaluation of your case, we've decided to hand this to our. Our secondary firm. And then you'll just know. Ah, my. Are awful. Brett and I have decided we're. We. We're backlogged, so we have moved this on to a trusted associate, and then you'll get that call. Hey, it's Toledo. I'm here to represent your flapjacks. It's a fact and it isn't me. Don't go yelling at me about this. If the news outlets doctor pictures, because we all know that pretty wins, I don't want to hear it because I'm on the wrong side. Look at that. Changed him completely. Changed him completely. They made his face less long. Yeah. They gave him different glasses. They tanned him, fixed his hair. They fixed his hair just enough. They bulked him up a little bit. Made him look a little more manly and a little less. His look is much like Dale Hell astray. Yeah. Like that long face. He's got that long. But yeah, I mean, the one on the right looks a little more attractive. What's the point of that? His teeth are better. They. I mean, they basically gave him new teeth. Look at that. What is the point of that? If the. If this. If again, answer this for me. What is the point of the information being told to us if you had to doctor the photos to sell me the image of your martyr? I hate it. Yeah. What's the sound of the. The dude from Jefferson's. It's his son. The. No, Bentley. Yeah, he looks like Bentley from the Jeffersons. And on the right, he just, you know, it shouldn't matter if he's handsome. Guess what, it does, right? He could be on er. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like Noah Wiley's brother from er. On the left, he's Bentley's kid. That's brutal. And then on the right, he's. He's Noah Wiley. And he looks like. Again, that's not me. I didn't do this. I'm just pointing it out and I'm reacting accordingly, saying if they have to sell me this story with imagery, they're selling me something. And I'm not gonna react to that. I'm not gonna blindly go nuts. Like, I got emails from people going, they're shooting people in the streets. And they're. You don't get. I'm like, look, you're also being sold something, man. That's scary. It is. How. How many times they do that and you don't know. And again, that's not. Just one guy probably finds Pictures that. Oh, this. This fits our narrative. He looks a little bit shady. It's something something. Check out homework's Morning Sickness podcast@98kupd.com For 60 years, Fisher Tools has been the valley's trusted source for quality, precision and power. Family owned and operated for three generations, we're proud to be a local tempe business offering the best tools and supplies for every construction job. With the largest selection of power tools in the valley. From Milwaukee to Makita to Dewalt, we've got everything you need to get the job done right. We're known everything in stock because our slogan is if we don't have it, we can't sell it. See why we've been the valley's go to for tools for over 60 years. Visit Fisher tools today in store or online@fishertools.com It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new friends@liftedtrucks.com here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at lifted trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationw shipping and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me choose lifted trucks and lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder. Holmberg's morning sickness. Cheryl wants to know why we won't take her and Toledo gets her as a client. Because your cans aren't going to represent well in court. We're not going to go in there with those floppy 52 year old flapjacks. Some kids, we had this one sent into us. Holy smokes. She's a client. Is that from a guy though? Yeah, he's his picture of his girlfriend. He's just bragging. Those are sweet. That's not Cheryl, is it? Nice kill Rick Toledo not getting her. Good job, Rick. Why did Rick send in pictures of his naked girlfriend in the car standing up? What if she got no legs? How's she doing that? She's in the passenger seat standing straight up. Show me that again. Right. And a jeep too. That was. It was a jeep. I want to go off road. Yeah, It's a Wrangler 2017 or 18. He's got the top off. Literally. How's she doing that? Maybe the top is off the right because you can see the doesn't look like sky there. Yeah, but that's. No. I don't know what. I think that's her windows open. The top is right there. I think that's just the torso. I have a jeep. You can't go sideways in the front seat. Is it a dash cam? She's tiny with massive melons. Potential client. We'll put her in. Yes, she is in the client list. Toledo does not get her. She's our first client. Brett, we've got. We've already got business. They haven't even gotten a speeding ticket yet. But imagine if that was on your speeding ticket. Gladly. Take that to court and go. This is clearly pornography. What makes it pornography? I beat off to it five times already. Your honor, I'm about to write and I'm half hard right now. Take a look at that and tell me juices don't get flowing. Those are some nice cans, sir. And the state sent these to me. Derek the mailman dropped him off. She lives in Glendale. I don't know how it got over to my house, but it did. And did you see the second firm? Second firm De jumua, the secondary firm of the fat man and the cuck. Yeah, Fat man and cuck, Esquire. I like that. They will not lie in court for you, but they will try and reprogram represent your nasty cans. And when you have Brady and Toledo representing you in court, one thing is certain. You're gonna try to get back in shape afterwards so it never happens again. It's a great morning. I love this topic. You're not gonna be good at representing naked ladies. You're on the show. You're part of the show. Toledo's not in the room. We looped him in. Be part of the show. We know this isn't your wheelhouse. We're not hiring you either. It isn't. So I didn't want to have a law firm. Well, you got one. Oh, damn. Sorry about that. He's like Pacino and godfather. Every time I get out, I don't want to be a lawyer anymore. You're like Cheryl Brady, Daddy. Face facts, but she's got a great ass. She's got a nice ass, but Cheryl's cans. Let's do the sooner stick my dad d between two boxes of dirty weight cans. And those Jesus Coke cans are better than those. Toledo and I in the conference room. Oh, boy. Yeah. See who just came in today? Disgusting breasts. But that makes it easier for you to represent them because you're not sexualizing it and you're not going to be good lying in court in our firm. We don't think you're a fit. Sorry, I hate to tell you that we just don't think you're a fit for our lying in court program. Why are you upset about that? We love you, little fella. You're great. We've given you a job. Our clients a lot quicker. Yeah. You get us. Yeah. Hello. Send us. Okay, go ahead and just pay the. Send the fine in. Right. You're getting it. Your clerk. You're going to clerk it because you don't want to deal with. And you certainly will not go to court for great cans and feel good about yourself. Your morality will kick in. I'm looking out for you. Brett and I don't have that. You don't need to send them in. No, no, Brett and I don't have that. But you and Toledo will look at the case. Oh, God. Cheryl's breasts are down to her knees. Yeah, I heard. I saw the words 52 and they're not so great. That means these things are. They might as well be on her back unless she's seen a nice doctor. I mean, there is that. There is that chance. Cheryl, you still have until March. These photo radar tickets start charging you. So that's. Look, it's only eight weeks to recover from at least a lift. Yeah, if they're oem. Yeah. Aftermarket. Yeah. You're. You may have a shot. She says they're huge. So just cut some skin off the top, lift them up, sew those up, get a little weird scar. But it won't be noticeable if you, you know, if you use the proper scar treatments. And in eight weeks, you could be a client of the WAP and the Jew. But in the meantime, it's fat man and the cock going to represent. Every once in a while, I might be able to say, your Honor, she is breastfeeding. That's disgusting. Why would you send that in the man? That is disgusting. Hey, guys. I'm getting divorced today. Really? This is from Clayton. Today. Please don't represent my ex's perfect cans for this. Send us some pictures and we'll see. I can't. I can't promise you anything, Clay. Absolutely. You might be. You might. Yeah, well. Well, we're going to have to get into divorce law idea. That's where the cans. We got to expand the business, you know. I'll tell you right now, if you're getting a divorce and you've got great cans, we will lie in court for you with the Jew. In the WAP Esquire law firm. We are not licensed in your state. Slogan. Because we can. Can. That's right. You might be part of our marketing team, but you cannot be in the courtroom. Fat man in the cuck can do their thing over in the corner with Cheryl and her nasty ass floppers. Cheryl. And beating you up pretty good, but not as badly as life has to those breasts again, she could. They could be aftermarkets. And we're okay. Not Cheryl. Cheryl's emailed over basic admission that these things, you know. Cheryl, have you ever been to the doctor and he recommends mastectomies even though you don't have cancer? That's how bad your breasts are. I think these need to come off. Cheryl. Why? Do I have cancer? God, no. I just think they need. You should chop those off. They're horrible. Look, you're 52. You've let him go. We'll start over. Cheryl, get to work on those things. Clayton's asking where he can send them to, so I just. Well, we. We may see the exes. No kidding. I don't think that's legal, Clayton. It's not a good idea. It's probably why you're getting divorced. You can't go sending pictures of your naked lady to everybody and then go, oh, she fisted me all the time, and I'm tired of it. It. Stop sending your cans to strangers. We'll post them on Instagram and we'll see how this revenge porn goes. And then we'll represent Cheryl and. Or not Cheryl. No, not Cheryl. This one. Whatever Clayton's wife is. We never got a name. Well, Clayton isn't the most common name. So if she's out there for Clayton sent pictures to those jackasses. That's revenge porn, Clayton. It's going to end up in the courtroom. You're going to spend a little more per month, Clayton. She's going to take you to the cleaners. And guess who's going to be your lawyers? Brett and I, and we were like, oh, yeah, revenge. Clayton sent us tons of it. And we'll doctor him up just like Miss now does have to throw out the evidence. We will lie in court for you. That's our plan. Something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com it's John Holmer here from the Morning Sickness for Lifechangerloan.com when you're dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars, you want people in your camp who are legit and have a solid reputation. And I don't think it gets much more SOL A plus from the Better Business Bureau. Not a lot of banks have that, but Life Changer Loan does. People who have made this move to life change alone all say this is better than the old way and they recognize that it's just a matter of going to the website, doing a little math and seeing if it's right for them. If you're great with your money, just check it out and live that A plus life because there is no catch. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com this is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855- GUN RIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness we had a guy in Jackson, Alabama. He was crushed not once but twice in a garbage truck truck compacted twice while being in there. The person driving the truck is trying to kill stopped by a kfc, unloaded it was a commercial dumpster. Yeah, the guy was sleeping in it. Unload, dumped it in there. Didn't know that. Then the next stop was Popeyes. And when he got out of the truck at Popeyes, he heard the yelling, Brady, you're just making this. No Brady for Brett. Come on. Off Highway 43, he doesn't pick up any trash outside of KFC's and Popeyes. Well, yeah, he's not going to call. When the driver arrived at Popeyes, he heard the man calling for help. This story was written by Ebony. AI. Yeah, there's you are your prejudice. There aren't Popeyes. First off, there's not Popeyes and KFCs right next to each route. They're not that far apart. Yes, they are. Why would you open a Popeyes in Alabama? They're all over the place. They make them with their feet. The truck was a Hellcat trash truck. It's unbelievable. All right, that's enough. So wait. Detector going off. He didn't get smashed twice. He was living in a KFC dumpster. He was sleeping in the dumpster. The guy picked him up, dumped him, squished it, did the compact, opened it up, went over to it. There might have been Another stop in between. But they said then he pulled over the Popeyes. You said his name and it was compacted the second time. That's where a person heard yelling. You said it was his next stop. Well it creating more your Ms. Now you're basically selling the story the way you want it to read. You doctored the photo. That's right. You doctored the photo for him, for your audience. All I have in the story is. No what? Doesn't matter what you have. What you said. Garbage truck on Wednesday at 5:30 in the morning. The man was compacted twice. First KFC off Highway 43 and then again yeah at the Hampton Inn next door. Then when the driver Hampton in in between. There's the story for real. Thank you Ms. When he arrived at the Popeyes. Yep. I got a crazy route out there now driving around out here in my car and how the hell did I get in here anyway? I gotta go to the KFC then we're stopping the churches the I got the Popeyes that shut off on the second. What is somebody lit a bird in. There was ceiling birds in my truck. That is a racist story you told Brady without even being raced. I believe him. Kfc, Hampton Inn, Popeyes Hampton in. Did you change all that much? Yes. Because your eyes, you people in the room. This is why we can't have cameras in here. Because Brady went just hear my eyes go towards Brett. First he got picked up at the KF and then his next stop was Popeyes. Your words. You were feeding that beast. Have you Come on. You have no shame. There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com it's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Groupand Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever thought to yourself I'm going to sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say you can sell that house the day after you say the words I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything, won't move the price or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doughs.com or grab the phone and sing. It's John Holmberg here Seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean, really, maybe in 2026, you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten. I know. That was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly. Visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. 480483 Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your diamondbacks and sons. Holmberg's morning sickness. I loved having Adam on yesterday. It was so funny. But I couldn't help but think that it was Mo Sizlak from the Simpsons. That's what he pictured while you think, yeah, and then I want to close my eyes and hear what he sees. That's where you forget. People don't know what you look like. That's made their own faces out of it. I. You know what? When I was a kid, you would. You would listen like, do you have comedy albums when you were a kid? Oh, yeah. Who'd you have? My. My big one. I love. It was weird as a little kid. I like Bob Newhart a lot. The phone calls. O phone calls were brilliant. And it was a record. Yeah. So you didn't even see, like, the. The good parts. And then I just thought that was great. But I was a big one. Richard Prior and. Yeah, Carlin was huge. Yeah, my. My mom liked comedy albums. The 2000-year-old man. Do you have that one? I knew it. I didn't have it, but, yeah, I knew. And that one. Robert Klein. Oh, Robert Klein. Yeah. He's a good dude. Yeah, the. Yeah, the comedy albums were pretty awesome and then. But I didn't really know what was going on. I just knew that it was making my house better. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like I wanted to be in that. Where I'm like, look how smart these people are. Well, that's the reason I started radio, actually. Why my dad would, like, I told you yesterday, he's. He was tense all the time. And when we would go, he would take me to school in our K5 Blazer. Oh, Brad, you'd have loved it. There you go. And we're driving in this thing. And he had Larry Lujak on in Chicago and wls. Okay. And he laughed. Laughed every day. He loved it. Yeah, they had a thing called Animal Stories. Little Tommy. I was five. Right. And I remember this Vividly. Because I'm like, this is the happiest this guy can be. And it brought me to think this is where joy keep him laughing. Yeah. Stop touching me. But. But I associated radio with happiness. Yeah. Yeah. These hand jobs are ridiculous. On the way to school. I'm five. Really funny. Yeah. So then I'm like, I love radio. Radio. And then I got into radio and realized how wrong my dad was. No, but I. I had the same thing. I could make my father laugh. Yeah. And that was like. I'm like, oh, that's how I fit in. Yeah. Because you would see. You could see the stress just melt away. Went away. Yeah. And that morning show got him just to be in a different spot. It got him to be himself. Yeah. Because my dad at work, all his friends told me, oh, your dad's hilarious. He wasn't at home. No. But he was fun and carefree when he wasn't around those horrible people. That was my mother. My mother was like. There was my mother. Is my mother in the house? And then when the phone rang, everything switched. Yeah. It'd be like, I'm gonna throw you down a flight of stairs. Hello? Yeah. The house changed dramatically when it wasn't about us and there was company. My father, too, was like, you never let anyone outside this house know what we talk about in here. Pop. The windows are open and you're screaming. They can hear you. How did your parents give you the talk? What talk? The sex. The birds and bees. This was it. My father walked in my room with Adam. Don't kiss guys. Jesus Christ. That was it. That was it. You're on your own. It's one thing I gotta tell you. Jesus Christ. That was it. And you followed up with that? Yeah. Don't do it. Did you. Was he seeking or seeing a trend that was maybe leading that way? That. Because I. They could fix any. That's why I love cars. My father could fix. I don't have the if then go to statement. I hold the light. Right. Right. You know, But I could make everybody laugh. And I had an add. And no one had. They know what it was when I had it. And there was no knock at all. Yeah. That was the cure was this. Sit down. That was it. And I got dyslexic dyslexia. So they didn't know what to do with me in the second grade. They just said, you know, they thought it was gay. Come with us. They were leaning that these. This must be leading them towards me. I don't fit in. Right. And I'M sitting there going, I like this. I go, I guess I'm an artist. I said, I think I'm an artist. He's like, he could be gay. Artists are gay. Gay. I'm just saying, like cousin Aldo. Aldo's not gay. He hasn't met the right girl. Yes, he has. And her name is Steve. They're a lovely couple. Leave them alone. They are not roommates. That's a one bedroom apartment. They're not roommates. Steve's on the couch. Yeah, there's my dad for sure. Thought I was gay for a while, okay. Because I wouldn't talk to him about girls because he embarrassed me. And then. But how old were you? He had long blonde. I am pretty sure the. He was convinced I wasn't gay after the wedding. Well, one of the co workers, well, that was. That wasn't gay so much. What about the ruler story? Well, that's a different thing too. I had a longer blonde hair, right? And my dad was in construction, major, like big, built like stadiums and stuff. And he would take me to the. On weekends. And I'd had a remote control car once. Wow. And I could run this. It was a Camaro Z28. Could run this thing. Hundreds of. It was an awesome space for a kid with a remote control. I'm running around my long blonde hair there, and my dad's friend's there. And he goes, how old's your daughter? And I just heard, ah, Jesus Christ. And we get in the car and he goes, you getting your haircut? Like, what? You're cutting your hair off today. Everybody thinks you're a girl. I'm like, oh. And then I heard him once. We were on a fishing trip and I was sitting on a stream and it was a little rock between me and my sister and dad were on the other side of the rock. They didn't know I was there. And it kind of echoed through this like, little cavern stream. And I just heard my dad, right? And then I hear him go, it's okay if he's gay. Just have him tell me. Yeah. I'm like, oh, no. Yeah. But then I had to, like. Then I had like really small shorts, socks pulled up past my knees and a half shirt on and a boyfriend and. And the guy that was. That I took on the trip with us. Yeah, but it was dad. I'm not. Okay. But this is Trevor. Yeah, he's a nice kid. Yeah, he was pretty sure. You know, I. The upkeep, I got. I got gay friends and the upkeep is too Much. It's way too much. The gym, the plucking, the dress, the dressing. The house has to be spotless a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. Can't leave beer cans anywhere. They lose their mind. I've gay neighbors and their house is just imagine immaculate constantly. So are they. Yeah. And kind. Yeah. I'm like, there's pressures. Best neighbors ever. Pressures. But they also have two massive incomes. Yeah. And that's a benefit. Okay. And they both like football. Can I live with them? That's what I'm saying. I don't have to clean. I can watch the game. I wish I was gay, but I was born this way. Yeah. I'm sorry. I can't. Yeah, I can't. I can't switch. But it seems like a pretty fiscally smart operation they got going. Got a couple houses. They're always going on vacations. I'm humping it. Yeah. I'm think I'm. It's the second day I'm here. Yeah. I'm coming in to sell tickets. I get. I get Asian vomit. This is what I get. Well, you know, that's going to move. Some people promise them those videos. We sell out a show every year for the top 10 videos of the year. Pack the place, sell it out in sack seconds. We don't even have to get up and do other shows. It's terrifying. It's great. We go on the news and tell them something. Something. Check out Homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com it's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and doughhopkins.com 2026, brand new year. That usually means every one of us says something like, this is the year I blank. And then we insert some strange goal. Let me tell you, tell you this. Most of the time, you're not gonna do it. This year, I'm gonna call TV's Doug Hawkins. He will buy your home as is. You can start eyeballing houses that are already upgraded. So fresh starts for 2026 are waiting for you at your keyboard. Start the process right now online, Doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins. If you're looking at new vehicles for the new year, look no further than your Valley Toyota dealers. This is Larry McFeely. And if your New Year's resolution includes a Toyota Tacoma, Tundra, 4Runner, Corolla, Camry, or Grand Highlander, then you're in luck. And here's the best part. Every new Toyota comes with Toyota Care. That's no cost maintenance and 24 hour roadside assistance for two years or 25,000 miles. Peace of mind for the road ahead. Exactly how you want to start a new year. Welcome 2026 in style. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadeealers.com Toyota let's go places. Holmberg's morning sickness. We are here in time to show off. Shelter Jason Station. Exactly right, Corey. I'll just hear talking about. Yeah, now I'm back talking about it again. It happens so fast. Like everything in my movies. This about sheltering a beehive or. Right. It bled over. I've still got bees on me from the last movie. They don't leave. No. And I come in with this one. I'm like, no, I'm not a beekeeper anymore. No, I'm an FBI agent. Or at least I used to be. And I still go very fast. And I still. Company man. I'm a company guy. That's right. And I fight bad guys quickly. The cameras move very fast because I'm very fast. Brett, have you seen my movie yet? Don't worry about so fast. I couldn't catch up. It's already at home. In and out fast. Tomorrow. Guess what happens tomorrow. Shelter 2. This time it's personal. All right. Yeah. Shelter 2, electric boogaloo. It's coming your way. I make movies in like 15 minutes. Make it work, Corey. If they're good, they're good. I make movies very fast. Why wouldn't I? Yeah, that's exactly right. Oh. Shelter 3 just filmed it. Wow. The search for Curly's goal. A contract. You've got no contract. It's a contract with the people. They won't stay. The movies they get do it for us. Beekeeper 3. Freddy's Revenge. That was just for Brady. That was great. The only one I don't do a sequel to is Snatch. That's the only one people liked. Yeah. Lock, stock and Snatched. Who's gonna do the sequel? The Germans? There's like a sequel right there. That's right, Tommy. Who's gonna do it? Not me. Okay. How's your leg? Thriller. The same as always. It wouldn't change. Very slow. Not like me. I like your movies. Quick, would you ever put Thriller in one of your movies? Yeah, I would. That's the sick kid I'm fighting for. Ah, yes. I have to get the people that done this to him. That be his parents. He'd be fighting his mom's vagina all day. Be battling back his dad's broken sperms and his Mom's vagina. Oh, man. It's called Thriller. The Tumble Tunnel. I fell out too early. Oh, man. All right, now over to the top, middle square. Bill Cosby up next. See, your mother's vagina wouldn't get a fight from me at all. And it also probably wouldn't fight back because it would be the un and incapacitated. I don't even think you're a good gynecologist for your mom to fix that seep and honey hole that drops out all the boys. You see what that said there is what it did. I got a gynecologist to get that, to play a little poker and then say this hands for $500 in quailers. He said, I write a script and then I rape. Seems like you just don't care anymore. This doesn't matter now, cuz. It doesn't matter. I can't see. See, I don't know where anyone is to rape. So it's the safest I've ever been. I will try and rape you if you get my hands on you. Oh, still. Oh, you see, if you're close enough to touch, you're close enough to rape. Some body braille. God forbid you start to sleep. Oh, he plays body braille. Oh, I play the body braille if I make the pruny toes. But the second and the toes and the thing and the ques and the sleep. All right, now, I'm doing my own sleep study this weekend. Oh, what are you finding out? They're easier to write when they're asleep. That's the study that found on the show. You've had that conclusion for like 40 years, though. Put a pudding pop up in the mouth. This is the first time she ever had the dark pudding pop up in there overnight. It's cold to wear like my ladies. Oh, getting to the age. Body temperature. The age appropriate right now is dead bodies. Yeah, you're in your pool. They're performers. Thing and the teacher, what we learned today. Yeah, little late for that one. Man over now to the top right square. President Trump. How are you, sir? Oh, my God, what a great film. The Academy Award goes to Melania. Ah, yes, Melania. Melania. Gonna get the most nominations. Gonna get all the more nominations. A lot of people talking, a lot of people. A lot of buzz. I just wore that hat the whole time. That was weird. It's beautiful. She looks great in the hat. She looks good in a hat. I like her in a hat. I like her out of a hat. Best film at Turning Point. Film Festival, greatest film. A lot of people talking about best supporting actor, me, and I think that's a thing. I think that's real. I think we're gonna do that. You're in there somewhere, right, sir? Right after we give Minnesota to Greenland and take Greenland from Greenland. That's good. Big plan. I've got Canada can't have one. The Dutch can't have the other. We're going to keep them and we're going to swap them out. We're going to get all the people from Greenland to move to Minnesota and all the Minnesotans to move to Greenland is going to as well, sir. Same weather, same exact. Brett's right. They like hockey. They're all Eskimos. We love it. By the way, Melania was directed by Barron Trump. Oh. Best director. A lot of people say Spielberg without all the Jews and taller, just a little bit without any of it. A tall, less Jewish Spielberg is what they say. And they're like, you know, that's good. Brett said it. I think that was Brett's quote. I think Brett saw Melania and we both. We both walked out of there and wiped our tummies off. It's a beautiful first. Best looking. A lot of people say, best looking, first lady ever. I think we all agree, a lot better than Big Mike. Jill Biden looks like Alice Cooper. Well, yeah. Am I wrong? Oh, no, you're right. You're right. I mean, there's nothing. Hillary. I mean, I'd rather it looks like a foot with a wig. Laura Bush. Laura Bush. Close, but nothing. Nancy fancy. Nancy Reagan. Are you kidding me? It's like having sex with a pipe cleaner. Brady has given his review. Oh, he just wrote down five pussies. Brady's new feline reviews of Melania. That's right. Five. Five. That's good, Brady. I like that. Five kiss. It's a good one. Yeah. I don't know what that meant, but I grabbed them. I grabbed all five and I put them in. I said, there you go. It's a clean sweep. It's a clean sweep. All of them. We're going to get all the awards. All of them. It's all going to be good. Cory. You're going to see me accepting for Melania. Me. And I'll tell you, that speech is not going to be short. They're not going to play me off, that's for sure. It's not going to happen. What experiences did you draw from from that for that role? Well, just being great and me and a lot of that and watching Melania from behind is very. She's an amazing lady. Great first lady. She's watching her from behind. Of course, that's where I usually have to chase her and get her. I have the solution to that problem. All right, now over at the middle left square here, Lou Holtz. How are you holding up? It's not real. Judges. Great opener. That's a question you don't ask somebody who's checking into hospital today at noon. It's not real good for old Lou. You're old enough. Pretty soon, Brady, I'm gonna meet Jesus, which I've been wanting to do for a bit, so I think that's something I can look for. He's ready for you. Well, let's hope so. Cause God forbid I'm wrong, and it's just eternal darkness. They took you through those big doors. They take you through the big doors, and they shut your eyes and they say, hospice. And you're like, I don't know what I'm doing in hospice, but I don't think that's a good thing. Can I have some more ice chips? Hospice, not ice cubes. No. That's what they feed you until you're dead. Gotcha. They don't give you food. They don't give you food. They take it all away. When you're in hospice and they say, that's enough. You're done living. And they just go away. And then they just dwindle out here. The painkiller. Here comes the morphine. They don't give you any more medicine. They just lay you down and say bye for days. They give you all the medicine. Well, sometimes. Sometimes they said, dude's unplugging me. And just lay down, Lou. That's my job. Where is this happening right now? This is laid down loo. I'm gonna get pretty sleepy here soon. It's not good for me if Cosby's my last visitor. What do your toes look like? Haven't seen them in a long time. My eyes only go about a foot and a half, and then they cut off. That's why I'm in the hospice. Notre Dame is where I spent most of my time, and I feel great about that now. You're gonna coach in the stomach. The phones just broke. This is all pointless. We're just doing this for navigation now. It's sort of like my life. It just came to an end. Ab. Oh, no. Nobody saw that coming. Foretold. Nobody saw it coming. I think the phones just went to hospice. Well, maybe we'll just keep going with this charade, like I've been doing for the last seven or eight days before they check me into the death chamber. It's been that long? That's when they say, that's enough. Just get out. Then they stick you in a weird house that looks like a house, but it's not a house. And there's Filipinos everywhere. They're nurses. And a Jamaican lady comes and gives me ice chips and says, he's still here. I thought you were a fighter. You can get through. I've tried. That's not gonna work. Everybody loses to Jesus. That's okay. You can go now. Thank you, Brady. That's the best advice I've had all day. Can't slap Touchdown Jesus. Can't touch him. Nope. Play like a champion today. He's not over my door frame in the hospice room. Just die like a champion soon. We need the room. We got Betty waiting for you. Your Medicaid's running out. They slide me out, clean the feces off the gates, and plop another elderly body in there. Oh, man. That's how it was. Everybody says it's a nice thing. It is. But if you're the Jamaican, mate, it's not so great to clean up all that poop and then load up another one. Time for a nap, coach. I'm not shutting these eyes. There's no way that Jamaican will haul me off and put me in the bag before I'm done. Well, you hold tight. Hold. So we'll reconnect later. Why do you keep putting that mirror under my nose, Brady? I'm just fine for now. Well, speaking of Brady, now the Center Squad cultural bigot. Brady. Yeah. There was a little issue this morning with how I see Indians. Details here. I'll give you some credit. What about Indian restaurants? Talking about Indian restaurants. My first thought was, well, who would go to that? They make food with their feet in the crap. In rivers. That's a little far. And bazaars don't count as restaurants. Who knew? Oh, they're trading pills. It's like when you're talking about the Japs shoving fish in their mouth. Whoa, whoa. That's what they did. It's called sushi. No, it's not. I'm just turned into Lou Hoax. How did that happen? I'm haunting your body, Brady. I'm gonna transfer portals here. I'm going into the nil. I'm gonna transfer portal into Brady's. Your body snatching? I just snatched Brady's body. You chose Brady. Yeah, typical, these micks running around stealing from Me like a gypsy. Always drinking. Always drinking. You're going for the blackout bingo card, aren't you? You say black? What? Blackout? Yeah, I don't even think Africans have houses like Indians. Right? That's what I learned, Nat Geo taught me all I need. Where's the bagel boy? Hey, Larry. I mean, sometimes he has bagels. Yeah, he's gonna make bagels for everybody. Shocker. Just bring us some wonder bread. Oh, no, you can't do that. You prefer wonder bread to bagel. Well, I know that Iranians wipe with their left hand. True. And you know they don't have any reason to stop doing that. I'd never go to Iran for that reason. And the French, they're left handed. Yeah, I'm stereotyping everybody because that's the way TV taught me. Okay, don't even get me started on Brett's people. Gaba. Gaba. Gross. Everything. Criminals. Hey, there's nothing official being said. The only thing I think Brett's good for is ringing him out over some pasta and get some of that evo on there. Oh, prick. Yeah, he sweats it. What do you call Somalian with a yeast infection? Why? Quarter pounder with cheese. Take that, Minnesota. I just put you on ice. Oh, now I'm an insult comic. This gotten out of control? The phone still don't work? No. Wrap it up. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And what better way to kick off the new year than with a brand new Toyota from your valley Toyota dealers. New year, new goals, new adventures, and a new Toyota is the perfect way to get you there. Whether you're tackling your commute, heading out on weekend road trips, or just wanting something more reliable for the year ahead. Toyota has the model to fit your lifestyle. So make this the year you drive smarter, safer, and happier. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places. The fight to the big game in Santa Clara continues this weekend, and FanDuel is turning on playoff mode because of it. 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