01-30-26 - The Jew/Wop Law Firm Will Kick Down Ugly Cases Of Cans To Bogen And Toledo Law - MSNOW Posted Doctored Photo Of Alex Pretti To Make Him Look More Rugged Proving Our Pretty People Point

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (01-30-26)

Episode: The Jew/Wop Law Firm Will Kick Down Ugly Cases Of Cans To Bogen And Toledo Law – MSNOW Posted Doctored Photo Of Alex Pretti To Make Him Look More Rugged Proving Our Pretty People Point
Date: January 30, 2026
Host & Crew: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Main Theme

This morning's episode delivers Holmberg and crew's trademark blend of irreverent social commentary and rowdy banter, built around a few recurring inside jokes: their “Jew & Wop Law Firm” (a comedic riff on shallow criteria for legal representation), the real-world effects of attractiveness on public sympathy and media, and the recent controversy over a doctored photo of Alex Pretti, a shooting victim.

The show uses this controversy as a lens to critique the manipulation of public opinion, both in the courtroom and media, emphasizing the unfair advantage “pretty people” have in both – and running wild with the theme through listener emails, jokes about fake law firms, and pop culture references.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Jew & Wop Law Firm” & Legal Representation by Attractiveness

• John and Bret joke about only representing "clients" (a running reference to women emailing photos of their breasts) who are considered attractive. If someone’s case doesn’t meet their standards, it gets "kicked down" to the “Toledo Law Firm” (a dig at co-host Dick Toledo).

  • John Holmberg: “Ugly people don’t have as many rights as pretty people do.” (04:13)

• They read emails from listeners wanting representation for less-than-ideal cases, with Cheryl, a 52-year-old woman, becoming a running gag about declining “quality.”

  • John Holmberg: “If you’re emailing this show going, these things aren’t up to snuff… then we’re not gonna take you as a client. Toledo will.” (04:13)

• Comedic Moment: The show builds the “paralegal Dick Toledo” persona, suggesting that less desirable cases go to him and Brady in their own, less-prestigious law firm—“Fat Man and the Cuck.”

  • Bret Vesely: “We do reserve the right to pass you down to Toledo.” (08:13)

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2. Media Bias: The Alex Pretti Doctored Photo Controversy

• John brings up the news story about Alex Pretti, a shooting victim whose image was digitally altered for TV—making him look more attractive and “rugged.”

• They discuss the manipulative nature of media in filtering photos depending on the agenda, with John expressing deep skepticism about getting the “truth.”

  • John Holmberg: “They photoshopped him to be a little bit bigger… fixed his teeth and… jawline… It is really weird… If the news outlets don’t doctor pictures… pretty wins.” (05:14, 09:03)
  • John Holmberg: “If they have to sell me this story with imagery, they’re selling me something.” (09:59)

• John references past media manipulation, such as the darkening of O.J. Simpson’s mugshot for Time Magazine in the 1990s.

  • John Holmberg: "Newsweek’s regular one, O.J.’s. They just painted his ass black... They doctored it because it made him look sinister.” (12:24)

• The hosts point out how these tactics impact public perception—sympathy goes to the more “marketable” or attractive victims.

  • Brady Bogen: “He could be on ER… But it shouldn’t matter if he’s handsome.” (09:57)

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3. Society’s Obsession with Beauty, Even in Crime & Punishment

• Using examples like the Menendez brothers, Scott Peterson, and the Night Stalker Richard Ramirez, the team riffs on how female admirers flock to handsome male criminals, illustrating the “bad boy” and “pretty wins” angle.

  • John Holmberg: “Go no further than the Menendez brothers… One of the Menendez brothers got married twice after he went to jail…” (28:55)
  • John Holmberg: “Richard Ramirez had security because of visits… people were trying to get to know the night stalker.” (29:31)

• There is recurring mention of the effect of appearance for both sympathy and actual legal outcomes.

  • John Holmberg: “Pretty people get better attention. That’s not me… it’s just truth.” (16:41)

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4. Listener Interactions & Case Submissions (with Comedy)

• Listener Cheryl’s emails spark back-and-forth about breast quality, law firm assignments, and what makes a viable case – encouraging listeners to send in “applications” for representation (complete with photos).

  • John Holmberg: “Cheryl, you still have until March… only eight weeks to recover from at least a lift.” (21:33)

• A listener named Clayton inquires about submitting his ex-wife’s photos, prompting a discussion of revenge porn and further legal absurdities.

  • John Holmberg: “That’s revenge porn, Clayton… She’s gonna take you to the cleaners.” (23:57)

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5. Media Critique & Cautionary Takeaways

• John warns listeners not to get swept up in agenda-driven stories or social media outrage, especially when media appearance manipulation is involved.

  • John Holmberg: “It’s proof that I was right not to overreact to this, because I’m not sure we’re getting the whole story… Let the dust settle.” (30:28)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John Holmberg (On the doctored photo):
  • “They tanned him, fixed his hair a little… They bulked him up a little bit. Made him look a little more manly and a little less...” (09:12)
• Brady Bogen: “Even sometimes when you think about that, the dog in the… In the right setting…” (36:39)
• John Holmberg (On the law firm theme):
  • “Better cans, better lawyers. Wow, that’s a slogan, too.” (31:06)
  • “The scales of justice lean towards the better cans. Better cans, better representation. The Jew and Wop.” (31:38)
• Bret Vesely: “Our law firm’s even got sponsors!” (38:51)
• John Holmberg (Listener email): “If you could have emailed me and said mine are spectacular… but you’re the one telling me that they’re a mess…” (40:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:12 – Show proper begins; riffing on creative “solutions” for photo radar
• 02:25 – Introduction of the “Jew & Wop Law Firm” gag and listener “case” emails
• 04:13–10:00 – Deep dive into the Alex Pretti doctored photo/media manipulation
• 12:10–13:00 – O.J. Simpson/Time Magazine photo manipulation history
• 16:41 – Segment on why “pretty” wins in society and law
• 19:24 – Birth of the “Fat Man and the Cuck” (Toledo/Brady’s law firm)
• 21:33 – Breast surgery and case submission discussion
• 23:35 – Listener “revenge porn” scenario (Clayton) and more law firm back-and-forth
• 28:55–30:25 – Pretty criminals and female admirers of murderers discussion
• 31:06–33:00 – “Scales of Justice”: comedic courtroom imagery
• 39:26 – “Big Board of Musical Treats” and heavy metal song picks aligned with episode theme

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Closing Notes

• The episode is quintessential Holmberg: satirical, boundary-pushing, and digression-heavy but smart in its critique of both media manipulation and society’s obsession with appearances.

• While the humor is intentionally provocative and off-color, there are sober undercurrents—especially regarding the dangers of distorted narratives in the justice system and public consciousness:

  • “If you have to sell me this story with imagery, they’re selling me something.” (09:59)
  • “Let the dust settle and find out exactly what happened later.” (30:28)

• All jokes, law firm gags, and “case” talk are part of the show's ongoing self-parody, with recurring targets being the superficiality of society (and media) and the power of a well-placed, self-aware joke.

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Summary by segment provided; skip to timestamps above for topic transitions or jump-in points for relistening.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Comedy Club Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Bastards. From a basket. That one worked out perfectly. I like that. Test of the day here on the first strike, Nicole.

[Brady]

Slap, that is.

[John Holmberg]

Can I believe that one on cbs? Hilarious. To this day, believe that one on CBS at all. There it was. A lot of people like the program here. Not just the show, but our photo radar plans. This one says we should start a program where we hire homeless drug addicts to destroy all the new cameras. Eventually it will cost them so much money to replace the cameras and then the homeless drug addicts will also get arrested and will clean up the streets at the same time by giving them a place to live. That's a twofer. That's a good program. Matt. Matt Wolf. Well done. Excellent. This one says, John, I got a thing. What if the process server whips her cans out? Ooh, what would?

[Brett Vesely]

Depends on the cans.

[John Holmberg]

What would the Jew and wap law firm do at that point?

[Brett Vesely]

It depends on the cans.

[John Holmberg]

We will lie for her in court as well. Who has better cans? The one we're. But that we're being process served. Yeah, I don't know. That's a tough one. Let's just assume that's probably not going to happen.

[Brett Vesely]

What if that's the process server or our representation?

[John Holmberg]

We'll represent. Look, yeah. If she said I need you, she doesn't need us in court. She's a manipulator. I don't know how to handle that. I'll ask ChatGPT after the show. Not that show, the real chat. Okay, I won't go down to cancel. Hey, what do you guys think? I want the real one. Yeah, the fun one. I got this email too. It says, john, I love you because you're such a dick. And poor Brady is now outnumbered because you have another fun dick in the room in Brett. I'm 52 and my breasts are not bad, but I wouldn't send them to you because I fear what you would say. Why can't women with average to lope average to below average be clients? I have huge ones. But over time that means they aren't as perky as they used to be. I might want to be one of your clients. Sign Cheryl.

[Brett Vesely]

We might take you on, but we don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Let's be honest, Brad. From the sounds of this, she. These things are a mess. Cheryl's admitting.

[Brett Vesely]

I was trying to. You know.

[John Holmberg]

I know we're trying to get a foot. I don't want to see those. I mean, it's got to send those to D. Toledo. Yeah, yeah. And there's a lesser firm we will refer to you called Toledo's. These are paralegal Dick Toledo Esquire Will be. Yeah. Calm down. That's your job. I heard a little feedback. All right. Hey, that's your job. He's our paralegal. Yeah, that's. He's gonna handle that. Hi, Richard Esquire. Ugly people don't have as many rights as pretty people do.

[Brett Vesely]

That's just life.

[John Holmberg]

I know that. Look. I'm on the wrong side of it. You gotta pay the fine. You haven't taken care of yourself. You know, if you're emailing this show going, these things aren't up to snuff. Then we're not gonna take you as a client. Toledo will. But we're not gonna take you as a client. Look no further than what they're doing with the pretty guy that got shot. There's not gonna be as much sympathy if you put regular photos of him. And that's not me saying that. That's the news. Did you see what they. They photoshopped him to be a little bit bigger and his jawline. And they fixed his teeth and they're putting him up on, on msnbc. You haven't seen that? Yeah. Remember when they did it to oj? They've been doing this for years, but they did it to OJ Years ago. And they're like.

[Brady]

And they also find bad pictures of.

[John Holmberg]

But they make them sinister. They added darkness to O.J. s picture and shadows. And the real picture wasn't that bad, but the one that they put on the COVID of Time magazine to sell magazines was, holy cow, OJ's the devil. This pretty thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Pretty.

[John Holmberg]

Is his name pretty? The guy that got shot wasn't the most attractive dude. I mean, that's not. I didn't care. But evidently the news did. Especially the ones that wanted to make you feel like he's a, you know, the greatest person that ever lived. And I don't know the story. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. But they, they filtered and altered his photo for tv. Which means what I just said is true. Ugly people are not going to get the sympathy and the attention in a, in a court case, especially as a good looking person. That's why they always dress you up in court. You got to look the best. Look at those pictures. It is really weird that they did this and it's so manipulative and it's so like. I mean, they made him a little bit. I hate to say this because he's, you know, dead. They made him look a little bit more handsome, manly. They made his jawline a little different. They, they gave him a tan. They kind of fixed his hair to look a little less male pattern baldness and a little more just scruffy. And it's, I mean, it is a much better look. It's a filtered photo. Everybody understands. It's what you guys all have as your profile pictures. It's not you. You see a real picture of yourself, like, who the hell is that? And then you go. And you, you put it through the star wash. And like, that's who I think I look like. It's not you. That's what. I guess Ms. Now is what it's called, right? Ms. Now, not MSNBC. But I just. Yeah, you can't be unattractive and get good representation or, you know, public sympathy. Evidently, according to the people that think this story's big enough to make us all fight. They had to doctor the pictures. That tells me everything I need to know about this. There's a. There's a leaning agenda on both sides because the only reason I knew about it is because the other side started to say they fixed the photo, he's not that good looking. And I'm like, what does that matter if he's ugly and he got shot? If he's pretty and he got shot, he got shot. What's the story? No, no, no, not according to how they're selling it to you.

[Brady]

The other side has him dirty dreads.

[John Holmberg]

And he looks terrible. And I don't know if they doctored it to add to make him look whiter and like washed out and skinny.

[Brett Vesely]

He worked at a smoke shop or something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean it looks like he's straight out of a Chiba Hut interview. And they said no. And then the Ms. Now one's like, this is a good looking man. He said, it's a shame that this happened. And you do have more sympathy for somebody that presents better than somebody that looks a little scru. You have judgment on someone in a picture it's like, ah, this guy looks like a hippie. But if they. I mean, do you see the. Have you found it?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Watch. Just go to MSNBC's doctored photos of Pretty. And then I'm like, we're never going to get the truth. We're never going to hear. They just. The fight is on. And that's what we're saying to you. Cheryl, go get your cans fixed and then start speeding around and maybe Brett and I will represent you, but in the meantime, it's Toledo Esquire. That's who you get.

[Brett Vesely]

We do reserve the right to pass you down to Toledo.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brett Vesely]

If you photoshopped.

[John Holmberg]

And we'll give you a really nice letter that says after evaluation of your case, we've decided to hand this to our. Our secondary firm. And then you'll just know. Ah, my are awful. Brett and I have decided we're so. We. We're backlogged. So we have moved this on to a trusted associate and then you'll get that call. Hey, it's Toledo. I'm here to represent your flapjacks. It's a fact and it isn't me. Don't go yelling at me about this. If the news outlets don't doctor pictures because we all know that pretty wins, I don't want to hear it because I'm on the wrong side. Look at that. Changed him completely changed him. Completely. They made his face less long.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They gave him different glasses. They tanned him, fixed his hair a little. Fixed his hair just enough. They bulked him up a little bit. Made him look a little more manly and a little less.

[Brett Vesely]

His look is much like Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Hell yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Like that long face.

[John Holmberg]

He's got that long. But yeah, I mean, the one on the right looks a little more attractive. What's the point of that? His teeth are better. They, I mean, they basically gave him new teeth. Look at that. What is the point of that? If the. If this. If again, answer this for me. What is the point of the information being told to us if you had to doctor the photos to sell me the image of your martyr? I hate it.

[Brady]

Yeah. What's the seller? The dude from Jefferson's. It's his son, the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Bentley. Yeah, yeah, he looks like Bentley from the Jeffersons. And on the right, he just, you know, it shouldn't matter if he's handsome.

[Brady]

Guess what it does, right? He could be on er.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. He looks like Noah Wiley's brother from er. On the left, he's Bentley's kid. That's brutal. And then on the right he's. He's Noah Wiley and he looks like a. Again, that's not me. I didn't do this. I'm just pointing it out and I'm reacting accordingly, saying if they have to sell me this story with imagery, they're selling me something. And I'm not gonna react to that. I'm not gonna blindly go nuts. Like, I got emails from people going, they're shooting people in the streets and their view. Don't get them. Like, look, you're also being sold something, man, that's scary. It is. How, how many times they do that and you don't know. And again, that's not just one side probably finds pictures that, oh, this, this fits our narrative. He looks a little bit shady. They did that back when O.J. got arrested. Before we even knew the whole O.J. story, his mug shot was on all sorts of. Nobody could believe it. 1994, O.J. simpson. It was the Michael Jordan of the generation prior to Michael Jordan. This guy was a unbelievable player. 2000 yards rushing when they used to clothesline you and they could face mask, like didn't have any rules. And it was a 14 game season. This dude was unbelievable. In 94, the whole world flips out. He might have killed his wife. They do the mug shot, all the news magazines and everything on the. When you're leaving the grocery store and there's Time magazine. Same picture, black, darker shadows. The background was gray where everyone else had kind of a whitish gray. They doctored it because it made him look sinister. They're going to sell you evil OJ because guess what? They knew. They had the foresight to recognize this ain't going anywhere for a while. Let's set it up. Turned out Time magazine was right. That killed people. Everybody else doing that regular photo was like, it's just oj. It's like, no, it's not. Here's the sinister one. You're gonna get to know this guy. But, yeah, they. I couldn't believe that they doctored that guy's picture. And.

[Brady]

And I guess. Which one's doctored?

[John Holmberg]

That's. The original photo was the one. Obviously. There's an obvious one. Which one's doctor?

[Brady]

Well, one's better than the other for sure.

[Brett Vesely]

That's why.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, that's. I mean, one is the other side. That's what I said. Yeah. I don't know if they've. That picture right there is the original picture.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if. If. I guess it would be Fox. Fox is the one that. I don't know if they've changed. They don't want to get caught doing it now that the opposition has done something stupid. Yep. Then they can use the original and go, he looks like this. There's the OJ one. Can you believe it? Newsweek's regular one. OJ's. They just painted his ass black. And that's the side of it. If you Google search the manipulated OJ Picture, one of them looks like he's hiding in the shadows. And it's the same picture.

[Brady]

I just had the profile. I remember. I don't know what magazine that came out of the. The mug shot.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I just remember. I just remember the. The Time magazine doctored it and I got caught. Like, why'd you do that? To sell magazines. They said, like, oh, that's right. We forgot. You're not beholden to anything. Might have paid a little fine. Like, you can't. But they doctor all their pictures. There's something, something. Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Football's.

[Brady]

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[Hooters Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. So well, I've seen that yesterday and I'm like, is that really a thing? And then they showed. And you know what's even better? Once Ms. Now got caught, they took them all down. So.

[Brett Vesely]

But they're already out there.

[John Holmberg]

So they're already out there. But now you know, we didn't and now they're claiming, oh, that was a picture someone sent us. We didn't do it.

[Brady]

Well, if I'm ever in the news.

[John Holmberg]

I Hope they pick Dr. My pictures like crazy.

[Brady]

Go to town.

[John Holmberg]

Dr. My eyes. Dr. All of it. I mean, put me up. I want to. People want to see see me as a criminal. If I did it. Yeah, I don't know if you can paint me black, but do it. And then if I didn't do it, Brad, pit my ass. Make it good if you're standing up for I don't want people seeing regular snapshots of me. It's like, what happened to him? How long has he been recovering from Bell's palsy? Is he sick? He was sick. Maybe something was wrong with his Face. I'd have killed somebody if I look like that too. I don't want people. People look at my face and they'll be like, yeah, that guy's probably gonna kill someone eventually. He's gonna look in the mirror and he's gonna go, that's enough. Go out and snap them.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

I've had it.

[John Holmberg]

Shoot everybody. You got a face like mine. Probably one of these days it's just gonna be followed with. Just start firing into the air. Yeah, that's pretty wild story though, that they decided to sell us this story a little bit differently for no reason other than to say pretty people get better attention. Better looking people get more sympathy. Better looking people sell stories. And that's what we're telling you.

[Brett Vesely]

Cheryl, in the Netflix documentary, Alex is going to be played by a black guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. It'll be Idris Elba. A man might even be like Terry Crews for no reason. I'll just make him a beast. Yeah, but it's strange. Pretty people get better attention. That's not me. I like this new John. It's like Howard Stern and Alex Jones had a gayer Jew. Your baby 2026 is gonna be awesome. Yeah, I'm in. They're making all the Jews gay. What happened to the man in this country? Yeah, I don't want to be. But it's not a conspiracy. That's not. It's just truth. It's crazy. Cheryl wants to know why we won't take her and Toledo gets her as a client. Because your cans aren't going to represent well in court. We're not going to go in there with those floppy 52 year old flapjacks. Some kids, not Photoshop.

[Brett Vesely]

We had this one sent into us.

[John Holmberg]

Holy smokes. She's a client. Is that from a guy, though? Yeah, he's his picture of his girlfriend. He's just bragging. Those are sweet. That's not Cheryl, is it?

[Brett Vesely]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Kill Rick Toledo not getting hurt. Good job, Rick. Why did Rick send in pictures of his naked girlfriend in the car standing up? What if she got no legs? How's she doing that? She's in the passenger seat standing straight up. Show me that again. Right in a Jeep too. That was. It was a Jeep. I want to go off roading. Yeah, It's a Wrangler. 2017 or 18.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got the top off.

[John Holmberg]

Literally. How's she doing that?

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe the top is off the right because you can see the. There's no big sky there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's. No, I don't know what that think. That's her windows open. The top is right there. I think that's just the torso. I have a jeep. You can't go sideways in the front seat.

[Brady]

Is it a dash cam?

[John Holmberg]

She's tiny with massive melons.

[Brett Vesely]

Potential client.

[John Holmberg]

We'll put her in. She is in the client list. Toledo does not get her. She's our first client. Brett, we've got. We've already got business. They haven't even gotten a speeding ticket yet. But imagine if that was on your speeding ticket. I would gladly take that to court and go, this is clearly pornography. What makes it pornography? I beat off to it five times already. Your honor, I'm about to write and I'm half hard right now. Take a look at that and tell me juices don't get flowing. Those are some nice cancer. And the state sent these to me. Derek the mailman dropped them off. She lives in glendale. I don't know how it got over to my house, but it did.

[Brett Vesely]

And did you see the second firm? Second firm? Did you know the secondary firm of the fat man and the cuck?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Fat man and cuck. Esquire. I like that. They will not lie in court for you, but they will try and represent your nasty cans. And when you have Brady and Toledo representing you in court, one thing is certain. You're gonna try to get back in shape afterwards so it never happens again.

[Brady]

It's a great morning. I love this topic.

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna be good at representing naked ladies. You're on the show. You're part of the show. Toledo's not even the room. We looped him in. Be part of the show. We know this isn't your wheelhouse. We're not hiring you either. It isn't.

[Brady]

So I didn't want to have a law firm.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you got one.

[Brady]

Oh, damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry about that.

[Brett Vesely]

He's like pacino and godfather.

[John Holmberg]

Every time I. I don't want to be a lawyer anymore. You're like Cheryl Brady, daddy. Face facts. But she's got a great ass. She's got a nice ass. But Cheryl's cans. Let's do soon as stick my d between two boxes of dirty weight cans than those. Jesus. Coke cans are better than those.

[Brady]

Toledo and I in the conference room. Oh, boy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

See who just came in today?

[John Holmberg]

Disgusting breasts. But that makes it easier for you to represent them because you're not sexualizing it and you're not going to be good lying in court. In our firm, we don't think you're A fit. Sorry, I hate to tell you that we just don't think you're a fit for our lying in court program. Why are you upset about that? We love you, little fella. Yeah, well, you're great. We've given you a job.

[Brady]

Our clients a lot quicker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you get us. Yeah, you get.

[Brady]

Hello. Send us. Okay, go ahead and just pay the fine.

[John Holmberg]

The fine and right, you're getting it. You're a clerk. You're gonna clerk it because you don't want to deal with. And you certainly will not go to court for great cans and feel good about yourself. Your morality will kick in. I'm looking out for you. Brett and I don't have that.

[Brady]

You don't even need to send them in.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, Brett and I don't have that. But you and Toledo will look at the case. Oh, God. Cheryl's breasts are down to her knees.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I heard.

[John Holmberg]

I saw the words 52 and they're not so great. That means these things are. They might as well be on her.

[Brett Vesely]

Back unless she's seen a nice doctor. I mean, there is that. There is that chance.

[John Holmberg]

Cheryl, you still have until March. These photo radar tickets start charging you. So that's. Look, it's only eight weeks to recover from at least a lift.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, if they're oem, yeah. Aftermarket. Yeah, you may have a shot.

[John Holmberg]

She says they're huge. So just cut some skin off the top, lift them up, sew those up, get a little weird scar. But it won't be noticeable if you, you know, if you use the proper scar treatments. And in eight weeks you could be a client of the Whop and the Jew. But in the meantime, it's fat man and the cock going to represent.

[Brady]

Every once in a while I might be able to say, your honor, she is breastfeeding.

[John Holmberg]

That's disgusting.

[Brady]

Why would you say that?

[John Holmberg]

It is disgusting.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, guys. I'm getting divorced today. Really?

[John Holmberg]

This from Clayton today.

[Brett Vesely]

Please don't represent my ex's perfect hands for this.

[John Holmberg]

Send us some pictures and we'll see. I can't. I can't promise you anything.

[Brett Vesely]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

You might be. You might. Yeah, well. Well, we're gonna have to get into divorce.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, we can. We can, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Idea. That's where the cans.

[Brett Vesely]

We got to expand the business.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I'll tell you right now, if you're getting a divorce and you've got great cans, we will lie in court for you with the Jew in the wap. We are not licensed in your state.

[Brady]

Because we can can that's right.

[John Holmberg]

You might be part of our marketing team, but you cannot be in the courtroom. Batman and the cuck can do their thing over in the corner with Cheryl and her nasty ass floppers. Cheryl, I'm beating you up pretty good, but not as badly as life has to. Those breasts again, she could.

[Brett Vesely]

They could be aftermarkets, and then we're okay, not Cheryl.

[John Holmberg]

Cheryl's emailed over basic admission that these things, you know. Cheryl, have you ever been to the doctor and he recommends mastectomies even though you don't have cancer? That's how bad your breasts on. I think these need to come off. Cheryl. Why? Do I have cancer? God, no. I just think they need. You should chop those off. They're horrible. Look, you're 52. You've let him go and start over. Cheryl, get to work on those things.

[Brett Vesely]

Clayton's asking where he can send them to, so I just. Well, we. We may see the exes.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. I don't think that's legal. Clayton is not a good idea. It's probably why you're getting divorced. You can't go sending pictures of your naked lady to everybody and then go, oh, she's pissed at me all the time and I'm tired of it. Sending your cans to strangers. We'll post them on Instagram and we'll see how this revenge porn goes. And then we'll represent Cheryl. And not Cheryl. No, not Cheryl. This one. Whatever Clayton's wife is.

[Brett Vesely]

We never got a name.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Clayton isn't the most common name. So if she's out there, Clayton sent pictures to those jackasses. That's revenge porn, Clayton. It's going to end up in the courtroom. You're going to spend a little more per month, Clayton. She's going to take you to the cleaners. And guess who's going to be your lawyers? Brett and I, and we were like, oh, yeah, revenge. Clayton sent us tons of it. We'll doctor him up. Just like Ms. Now does have to.

[Brady]

Throw out the evidence.

[John Holmberg]

We will lie in court for you. That's our plan. Speaking of crazy, did you see that person who tried to break Luigi Mangioni out of jail yesterday? What is going on? This world is like, what is going on? He's a hero. This is not. My brain doesn't work normal anymore. Because I figured, okay, he had a cause and he shot someone. The punishment is he gets punished for it, and then everybody holds him up as the hero, but he ain't getting out. If you think he's a hero, that's great. Part of that is the sacrifice of going to jail for the cause. Ain't supposed to be free. He didn't do anything good. Shooting people in the back is not good. Even if it's for a cause. He didn't wrestle with them. There wasn't an altercation. He cowardly walked up to somebody and shot him and said, me. Then he tried to get away with it instead of standing there with his hands up going, I did this for everybody who has health. No, he was. He was a coward. But he's handsome. Oh.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

If I did it, they'd be like, that guy's gross. Get rot in jail. They wouldn't hear anything about it if he wasn't good looking. Luigi's a good looking dude.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe Beth has a law firm and that's why she's doing it. Because Luigi's a good looking dude. Maybe she's representing him.

[John Holmberg]

That could be. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

You never know.

[John Holmberg]

She might be doing sent like crank comparisons to Beth. If your dick's bigger than mine, I'll represent you. So Beth has no clients. No one has out tough business. No one has outdicked Beth yet. That hog is massive. She's. That thing hangs lower than Cheryl's breast. That's saying something. I'm sorry.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody tried to break Luigi Mangioni out of jail and people are like, yay. Like, what is wrong with everyone? Toledo law is boring and row are your a wreck. You need a check.

[Brett Vesely]

That's good. I like that.

[John Holmberg]

Or you do the, you know. Call Cucky Cucky. Call Cucky Cucky. It works. We're the husband and wife law team. I'm Toledo and I'm Brady. Anyway, yeah. Stop trying to act like it's all wrong. This pretty thing is kind of on my mind though because they break out Luigi the same day that everybody gets caught. Over at the news. Beautifying a victim. And I don't color me crazy, but that story seems to stand on its own no matter what. That dude looked like something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com. It's John Olmer here from the morning sickness to tell you about underdog. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite players are going to go higher or lower on stats like points, rebounds, steals and more. This week I'm looking at the NBA when Binyama is going to be higher than 10 rebounds in a game. Devin Booker. I'm going higher than six assists in his next game. Download the app today and Use the promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code HMS. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama, Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play called 1-800-Gambler or visit www.ncpcgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text hopeny 467-369.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely from the morning Sickness and I want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping. These guys have been great. They've been taking care of my house and you guys have heard that I've had a lot of stuff going on lately. It's been great to take something off my plate. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree work, low voltage lighting, 3D designs, patios. You name it, they can do it. So start the new year off right and get a free [e-mail] and ask for the HMS friends and family rate. That's DivineDesignLawnCare.com Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Evidently not enough. You have to find him handsome in order to and that's really kind of that's a statement on what they know about women and bad boys. Go no further than the Menendez brothers. Larry hasn't been able to get a date for 20 years. One of the Menendez brothers got married twice after he went to jail, he got married and divorced and found someone new.

[Brady]

There's that documentary right now. I think it's on Netflix. The Handsome Murderer.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, they love that stuff. Scott Peterson line around the block on visiting day. People women wanted to meet him.

[Brett Vesely]

Wasn't Richard Ramirez of all people getting.

[John Holmberg]

Richard Ramirez had security because of visits. They had to be careful that too many people were trying to get to know the night stalker. That creepy Satan. Those eyes. Those are the weirdest, most awful eyes I've ever seen in my didn't need to doctor that new but he had long hair and he was bad boy, sneaky. He killed a lot of people. Yeah, but he's hot. Chicks do that. And don't think that the chick news station Ms. Now doesn't know it. They just played you like a fiddle. It's not that big a deal. Well, then why did they do it? You're making nothing out of something. No, why did they do it? Answer the question why they did it, and maybe we'll have a talk. But that one is. That's proof of.

[Brett Vesely]

Literally.

[Brady]

You know, like if you had them side by side. No, that's a different guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that might be his brother. That's his handsome brother. It's the Patrick Don Swayze. Side by side. It's Tom Hanks and his brother, that weird looking dude that looks like him from behind, but he turns around like, jesus, somebody punched Tom Hanks in the teeth. It's proof that I was right not to overreact to this, because I'm not sure we're getting the whole story, and I know for a fact it's being pushed one way or the other. So just let the dust settle and find out exactly what happened later. I'm gonna go crazy yet. Everybody. One dude's yelling at me about being on the wrong side of history. I'm like, I don't know what side I'm on, but I know right now I'm. I'm not a ball of clay, and they're trying to treat me like one, but I have always known. Cheryl. Pretty people get better representation. Better cans, better lawyers. Wow, that's a. That's a slogan, too. I like that. You can see that right next to the scales of justice. But one can, The Papa John's of the law. You know what we'll have, Brett? We'll have.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We'll have the scales of justice. And on the heavy side, the one that's tilted down, beautiful cans. And on the light side, big sloppy mess.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I'm liking it. We need shirts.

[John Holmberg]

The scales of justice lean towards the better cans. Better cans, better representation. The Jew and wa. That's fine. I mean, what would you rather have in a courtroom, a Jew and an Italian standing there going, we got your back?

[Brett Vesely]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

I take care of the money side. You take. You're the heavy. You're telling me right now, Brady, a lady with no money in huge cans comes into a law office, and a lady who's got money with no cans comes into a law office, and which one the lawyer's gonna be like, I'll represent her. Pro bon. Going for the cans. You want to hang out with sloppers? And I'm gonna refer to you to Dick Toledo, Fat man. And the cock. Why? I think we both know why. Then you walk into that weird, weird office with wood paneled walls and two desks right next to each other and Brady and Toledo just sitting there doing nothing, staring at you as you walk in. Is this the fat man in the cuck? Yes. Yep, sure is. Guess which one's me.

[Brady]

It's a volume business. We'd have like 200 offices.

[John Holmberg]

Lift those things off the ground or you're gonna get rug burn and sit down. Bring any food? Yeah. You got anything for me? That's what they said. You're gonna bring snacks. Lift one of those cans up. You might have some Cheez its under there.

[Brett Vesely]

Someone asked if we would represent Jodi Arias because we've already seen the cans over the.

[John Holmberg]

Not only that, we'd have gotten her away.

[Brett Vesely]

She got now shouldn't be in there right now.

[John Holmberg]

No. Your honor. Let's go back to the nude photos every day. I'd have gone to that. Let's take a look at her tied to this tree again here. Is this the act of a sane woman? Your honor, I plead insanity. I'm crazy about my client. Jody Aries would be walking free of Brett and I did. That's a terrible, terrible thing. Beautiful breasts on Jodi Arius. We all paid attention to that. Why did we all pay attention to the Jody Aras case? Why? She was hot. We got to see her naked. We got to see her honey hole, her bee hole, we got to see it all. And she was pretty. Now imagine that. That's Toledo naked. That case would have been dead quiet. We'd have never known. Throw the book away. Same stories, same exact thing. Ugly woman does it, we don't know a thing about it. It's crazy. Pretty. Pretty wins. Pretty matters. Pretty matters. This guy emails and he says hey, I apologize for the delay which is only for me. Says I wanted to respond to you his dog stiff. I talked about the dog the other day. He was worried that young not going well having a reaction to some stuff and didn't look like he had much longer. He said I had to let you know you had nice words to say. The reaction was to the blood pressure meds my dog has to take. I thought it was the end. I was a wreck. Reading your email that you sent me made me break down. I sent him a nice email back. Guy's got a three year old dog with a disease they can't fix and I've been through that with a dog, not three but five and it's devastating. Says luckily the vet was able to help her. We got her on new meds and she's already kind of back to being herself for the time being because it's incurable. So the odd thing, and having listened to the show since it started and hearing so many times a listener reaching out to you about a dog story, I never thought I'd be one. And I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. Brady, Brett, even Dick. And that's not necessary for doing what you guys do. Even if it's just a distraction from everything going on, it's still great to laugh and get an escape from everyday troubles. Travis, that. You're welcome, Travis. And I hope I'm glad to hear that the dog is. No bad days. That's my rule. If you can get them on medicine, that makes it so there's no bad days, even when you know the decline is inevitable. Hop on. I met an ax. That dog yesterday was awesome. Bodhi over at Lost, our home pet rescue. Oh, was Bodhi fun. And Bode's one of those dogs that needs a home now because he's not liking the shelter. He's an owner surrender. He's not a big fan of big dogs. So I think he's. I think he's best off being just your dog. But, man, Bodhi's ready to get out of there. And I'm afraid for Bode because he's one of those dogs that the longer he's in there, the less he's going to do well introducing himself to people because he's anxious. He doesn't like it in the shelter and it's a nice shelter, but he's not, not happy there. He's tense, he's angry. But when I got him in a room by myself, he's just leaning on me. He's lovey dovey. He was sweet. But then he got out into the shelter. You just watched him stand up again. He's barking, He's. He's one of those dogs that's going to get into that a year from now I'm gonna like, Bodhi's still there because everybody that comes to meet him, he's tense.

[Brady]

Would he be a loner dog?

[John Holmberg]

I would say probably best off by himself. He does like little dogs, but I think he's just better off for at least for the time being. Get him comfortable and. But he's so awesome. It's so fun. He's a. He's about 60 or 70 pounds, but he's just, he's a boxer mix.

[Brady]

It's funny Even sometimes when you think about that, the dog in the. In the right setting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, perfect.

[Brady]

Even you're saying, oh, this might be a loner dog, but he gets in the right setting.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right now, he's in a very tense. Lots of barking, lots of ah. And he doesn't like it. And that happens to a lot of those dogs in shelters where, like, the shelter changes him. And the more people are like, oh, we're interested in Bodie, and then they have a meet and greet with Bodie and bodies like. And he doesn't act normal because he's tense and he's anxious, and he just wants to be. Let's get the hell out of one side. So let's get him out of. He's only been there for a couple weeks. Let's get him out of there now before this kicks in. And I'm telling you about Bodhi in 2027 going out. We got to find a home for Bodie, and now it's got to be a real special one. So, yeah, let's. Let's get Bodhi going. And I. I say that off the heels of Travis and his dog Sif. I don't want to. I don't want any more dogs to. It's an uphill ice hill I'm climbing constantly, trying to fix something that will never be fixed, but one at a time. Can't fix them all. George asks, does fat man in the cuck operate out of a storage closet in the back of Chino Bandido like Saul Goodman did in the nail salon?

[Brady]

Yeah, if they would offer it.

[John Holmberg]

If they'd offer it. That's a great spot. And then they'd have to start putting stickers up like the lady at the nail salon did that said cucumber water only for customer, not for Saul. What do you mean, I can't have that Chinese jerk chicken. That's how you know Brady likes something a lot when he orders it. Like somebody's choking him. You know, there's a Chino bandito. Get that?

[Brady]

Pronunciation is.

[John Holmberg]

What's it called?

[Brady]

Pronunciation, huh? The pronunciation is what of the food. I make sure I nail it better.

[John Holmberg]

When it comes down to that, it feels like you're orgasmic.

[Brett Vesely]

Chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Jerk chicken. Yeah. Sweet. And a little Asian Mexican behind the counter is like, oh, this guy gonna jerk off on a food. But, yeah, Chino bandito would be a good place for the cuck in the fat man's law office. Brett and I will be at the back of Band Aids. Not even in an office, just a booth. We'll make it work. Patio. Yeah. Patty. Well, yeah, you know, get all crocheted out there. We'll have a nice little awning and you just visit us afterwards.

[Brett Vesely]

Our law firms even got sponsors.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. Yeah, all crocheted. Robert will be all over this. Get them. And everything else. Oh, there, I see. I didn't know this. Andrew Wilson and Joe Rogan were talking about that photoshopped thing, too. And Andrew Wilson used the word marketable. That's a perfect word to describe what MSNBC did to that photo. Marketable. Excellent choice of words. I don't know if it was Rogan or Wilson that said it, but that's. Yeah, it's strange. It's not a normal thing. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, it is time for the Wake up song and, well, going photo radar and our law firm and everything. That's where it all seems to go. Sammy Hagar I can't drive 55 demon speeding from Rob Zombie Jesus built my hot rod from ministry Send me your money for all the photo radar Golden Earring Radar Love See their Primus Jeremy was a race car driver Jerry was a race car driver Coheed Cambria Fear Factory Cars Psycho Stick Because Boobs. Yes. Aquabats and Metallica and Justice for all for the law firms of the morning show.

[John Holmberg]

And then Justice Storls always. So what do you want to play? How did you pick it?

[Brett Vesely]

You know I'm always suicidal. Metallica.

[John Holmberg]

You know, pick something other than those two. Brett, I'm gonna put you on the spot here. I like that Fear Factory song. Their version Cars is pretty cool, right? Let's go with that Fear Factory cars. I like that one. That'll work. That'll get her done and. Okay. Sorry about that.

[Brady]

Cheryl.

[John Holmberg]

Cheryl has emailed back and said thanks a lot. Like, it's not my doing. You wrecked them. If you could have emailed me and said mine are spectacular, I would. I would have been like, okay, but you're the one telling me that they're a mess and you're admitting that you wouldn't be a client of the Jew and the wap. That's not my fault. I don't know you. I'm going to be honest to you and I'm going to lie in court. That's a good lawyer. But if you do have to send them over D Toledo pd.com let's cut out the middleman. Toledo will show us. And if we have a change of heart from your we may take application. Yeah, we May change our minds. And then fat man and the cuck will have to go back to, you know. Look. They're gonna have more business than us. Oh, yeah, There's. I mean, most of them are bad. That's okay. Nothing wrong with that. You're gonna make a fortune over there, Brady, repping all these hogs. Motor radar comes back. We are your huckleberry. This is a cool version of this song. Was Gary Newman's song back in, like, 81.

[Brett Vesely]

He's in it, too, so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he. Yeah, he helped him with this. They redid it in 98, if you can believe that one. This thing's almost 30. First one's almost 50.

[Brady]

Due for another one.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do it again. It's Fear Factory. It's cars. Wake them up.

[Brady]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness, and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new [e-mail]. here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted, because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping, and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized. Countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me choose Lifted Trucks and Lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, Play hard, Drive harder. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com when you're dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars, you want people in your camp who are legit and have a solid reputation. And I don't think it gets much more solid than an A plus from the Better Business Bureau. Not a lot of banks have that, but Life Changer Loan does. People who have made this move to Life Change alone all say this is better than the old way. And they recognize that it's just a matter of going to the website, doing a little math, and seeing if it's right for them. If you're great with your money, just check it out and live that A plus life. Because there is no catch. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com.