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Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Thank you, Miles to nowhere. It is. Yeah. It's a day before Brady's birthday, isn't it? Correct. Tomorrow. Yeah. Big fat day. All right. Good job. As I people emailing me about the Justin Tucker thing, which I find hysterical and everybody loves that stuff reading the details, here's where I get annoyed so easily about stupid stuff. So. And hopefully, and this is my hope, and I don't care left, right or otherwise, that the Trump mentality takes over a little bit in this area. The headline of this article says justin Tucker accused of sexual misconduct. Eerily similar to Deshaun Watson's accusations. That headline's giving you a pretty good gauge of what's going on, what the story's about to be. That's the headline, right? Then it says, you know, it says longtime Baltimore Ravens place kicker Justin Tugger has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior. Warning what is described below could be triggering the accusations are similar to those. Again, if you're, if you're already like four or five, if you were capable of being triggered by that, the headline lets you know it's not. You don't have to warn us. This might. The story about sexual misconduct might trigger some people with sexual history, like, stop doing that. And if you're a person who gets triggered by those stories, don't read them and then blame the paper. Don't. Don't read them and blame 247 sports.com how dare you print such filth. You read it. You're the dirty one. It says it in the headline sexual misconduct. Expect in the story details of sexual misconduct. No, don't say anything. No, no, no. If I told you Justin Tucker got accused of sexual misconduct and you said can't hear that triggers me, I'd understand that. But if I said Justin Tucker's Accused of sexual misconduct. Turns out he was doing. Is this gonna bother you? I don't want to trigger if you're like, tell me more. Tell me more. You're reading it. Yeah, yeah. If you go to the. He just on that table, and we'll do it like that. If you need it to be cutesy. But you don't need a warning for a story that the headline tells you. Here's for the kids. No, the kids don't need the headline. Then if they read it and then they get triggered. And then somebody calls the. You know, the writer and says, how dare you? It's like, no, how dare you. We all have stuff that makes us uncomfortable. It's not going to wreck your life to read a story and then put it away. It didn't change your life. You. What are you all Selena Gomez now? Calm down. I got to sit in the middle of this thing. I'm reading the whole story, and then in the middle, it stops. Is that, like, a word maybe to put in there for other licensed massage therapists to say, hey, you can jump in on this deal, too, and accuse Tucker. What do you mean? If it triggers you this. This t. Hey, he did that to me when I robbed him. That's not that. Me too. Movement. No, no, that's. Again, I'm talking to the wrong group. That's not what triggering is. That's for the person not involved. It's not a code word to say, hey, we can piss off some shit. There you go. Pile on. Get some rape victims out there to really hate this story in a few months. So basically, it says, by the way, what's described as horrifying. Next sentence. They give you no, like, buffer zone to say, click out now. Next sentence. His boast, his genitals, brushed two of them against two of the massage therapist. He brushed his exposed penis against them. And leaving what they believed to be ejaculate on the massage table after three of his treatments. Now, to me, that doesn't mean sexual misconduct. That means you were really good at the massage. I mean, really good. Did you? We did. We have a little accident? Geez, I guess so. Nice job back there. I learned it's a Nasser school and it paid. But stop putting that in. Stop being such. Pull the sticks out of your butts and stop being such babies that in the middle of a story where the headline says, this is about sexual misconduct, you have to be told. You might want to put this down because here comes some details of sexual misconduct. The whole reason you're reading it is because it was about sexual misconduct. Nobody reads that headline and goes, wonder what this is about. Let's dive deeper into some. Oh, I've been. I've been triggered. My uncle. I gotta call the writer and sue everybody. Quit coddling babies. Bingo. All right, thank you. You don't need to go crazy and celebrate it, but just stop it. I've read stories that are gonna. Look, if you've got trigger words that are so detrimental, don't go on the Internet. It's your fault for, you know, if you don't like dancing, don't go to dance clubs. That's basically what that is. Whenever I go down to Hays at the. For the club, I ask him to turn all the lights on. Cause I have seizures when the lights flash. Well, then you can't go. That's just. But that's not fair. So what, you have seizures because of strobe lights? Avoid strobe lights. It's not the strobe lights fault. It's you. I have to take away the fun for everyone because I have seizures with strobe lights. So we're gonna ask. Turn that off while I'm here. No. If you have allergies to peanuts, wear gloves on the plane. I want peanuts. That went away. I'm still thrilled at that one. For years they told me I gotta take peanuts. Now they're just tossing peanuts out like crazy. It's okay. Again, get over it. Get over it. Like, Peanut M M's doesn't have a thing in the bag it says, could be triggering. It's not. Just don't, you know, stay away from it. It says peanut on it. But yeah, the story about Justin Tucker, you know, busting nuts all over the massage therapists. If that's triggering to you, stop at the headline. You got most of. You got most of what you need there. I can't hear it. I'll go with. There's a lady suing another woman in England. Cause the one. And I think the one woman with the bumper sticker is classless. But it is funny. She says her bumper sticker said something like, try not to be a C word today. And her neighbor's like, ugh, I can't look at that. So instead of just asking her to take it off or saying it's kind of trashy or calling the police because it's not legal. Evidently it's in England. It's not legal to have curse words on your bumper stickers. I don't think it's legal here either. And her argument is that the U is an asterisk, so it doesn't even say it for real. So instead. Because I guess even on the thinking about. Even back in the day where they had the mud flaps, it just had to back off. Or silhouette of a naked lady or. They don't really usually have cuss words. If it has a cuss word on it, the cops can pull you over and say you've got some vulgar stuff on your car. You're not allowed to do that. But the lady didn't call the cops. She just called her lawyers and taking it to court. And they're like, all right, we gotta listen to it. She's evidently, it's destroyed her life from across the road. Instead of just, you know, not looking at where she knows the problem is she can't stop looking at it and evidently can't go on with her life. I don't get it. People have lost their minds with the whole. It triggers me. So everybody has to bow down to what I do. And they're doing that now with that plane crash, too. The plane crash in Washington. They're starting to. And, you know, they're saying maybe it was a DEI problem. It's like, oh, no, I heard that. Here we go. Oh, here we go. It's somebody's fault. But let's not make it about that. Like, if it's transvestite, if Johnny from Airplane came in and addressed and he's flitting around and banging into stuff, and it's like, okay, it's not the DEI thing. It's that there's a nut bag in your office and it's not like a brooch. Tear it out, right? Somebody's eye was off the ball. And right now I can tell you, DEI or otherwise, if this is just a terrible accident where, you know, the air traffic control or the pilots or whoever missed something, then there was someone not qualified enough to be doing it. It's bottom line, they didn't follow all the steps. Doesn't matter if they. Now it would. If they're like, zero quality, if it turns out later, zero qualifications at all. We just want to hire somebody in a dress or somebody of a certain look or shape or whatever. And we didn't even look into it. Well, then, yeah, that's it. But let's not start going down that road when they're plucking bodies out of the Potomac left and right, going, probably a DEI issue. If it is. Let give it time is what I'm saying. Let it come out that it was. If we Find out. Reagan International Airport is nothing but, you know, a Village People concert up there at the air traffic that aren't qualified. Right? And then it's just like, I don't know how we got this job. What are these dots mean? Well, those are airplanes. Oh, my God, they're moving so fast. I can't. In the Navy. Stop. Focus. You guys, stop calling us guys. I don't know what to do. If it's. If it's that, then, yeah, you've got. You've. It's bad hiring practice, but somebody dropped the ball, and I don't. Look, I don't care if a transvestite lands the plane or doesn't. If the plane crashes, I'm not going to say. Well, I knew it when I saw the guy in the dress. I don't know why it crashed yet. Let it all come out later. And if it is dei. Oh, Katie, bar the door. If the guy got a job and he's like, the air traffic, the pilots. Oh, everyone was a DEI hire. Turns out it's like a RuPaul's Drag Race is inside the plane and in the air traffic control and the. The Blackhawk and. Oh, no, no, no. We've had conversations in this room. There are people who are upset about the dei. I think certain companies drop in DEI practice and stuff like that, and they're very upset until you use a little logic with them and say, all right, well, then quit your job or just hire somebody who is. Who matches the qualifications of what you want rather than actually the job thing. Or I'll tell you what, I'll fire your husband and we'll replace him with a transvestite or somebody just to make sure that there's a number and it'll hit you at home. Now, if your husband got. If you're mad at dei, but your white, capable husband came home, said, I got fired today because they wanted to put a tranny in my place. Suddenly, I don't think you're as big into the DEI thing as you think. And I don't think there's going to be like, some sweeping mass firing of trannies because they don't hire with diversity, equity, and inclusion. They do it on meritocracy or merit and stuff. Morning sickness. 28. Can you be repeating Holmberg's morning sickness? You don't think it was a big dance party inside the control tower? All right, we got a lot of planes in the sky today, girls. All right, American Airlines 1307, look out to your left. Looks like we got A Blackhawk Down. Yeah. All right, all right, all right. Will you queer, stop flitting around in here and land these planes? Oh, the hard ass is back. Party pooper. Somebody say hard ass? You big fat. Alaskan Airlines. Where have you been all my life? Looks like you're coming in hot. What the hell are you guys talking about in there? See that Runway in front of you? Slam it, baby. I don't think that was going on, but, man, Fox News made you think it was. How's the cockpit? Yeah, Fox News did stuff that made it seem like they were like, boss, we got us some planes coming in. Jesus. Nobody's hiring 1800s, you know? It's. Nobody's there doing that. Oh, my God. This screen can't be good for my eyes. Don't bother him. Pilots, heads up. Just look around. Jesus. Heads up. All right. Both of them. I just love when big cylindrical tubes slam into the earth. I need a nap. Wig is heavy. Flight 69, celebrate. Hey, girl, 69's coming in hot. You had everybody's eyes on you. Oh, my God. Am I reading this right? Is your name Pilot Dick Harder? Where are you right now? We're about to. Sorry about that. We're about to land. Reagan International Airport, requesting permission to land. Where? The goddamn Runway. What did you think I meant? You told me. Let me just work it. Spread open those Runway legs and you can land right in the middle. What's going. One thing to say. I got a headache. Are you there? When I wasn't listening, I was drinking mojito. Put this thing on the freeway. Hey. What's your name? Sapphire. I need to. I need to put the plane on the ground. Can you turn the music down? I can't turn the music down. Break time. Pilot Dick Harder thinks we're going to turn the music down. He's insane. What did you do before this? What do you think, baby? Oh, Jesus. God. Why did you even apply for the job? They were hiring. Jesse Waters was right. Stupid. We're all acting stupid all the time. Nobody used logic anymore at all. Tell you what it is. All those transvestites. Oh, maybe. I don't think so, but maybe. Give it a second before we start throwing that bomb up against the wall. Is that Tan France up there? If we find out that they were like, all right, I don't want to land planes anymore. I'm bored. Let's have a Runway showdown or Padonkadonk dunk. What do you say? Put the dunk tank in the back and all you'll. There's about 50 planes up here, and they're all heading towards me. I don't know what to do. Pipe down. We're having a padonkadonk donk. When you ladies are done with the penogadon dunk, can I get clearance from running out of gas. Okay, hold on. Just like Dick Harder's all over me today. There's 20 people with glow sticks on the Runway. See that guy down there with the two orange sticks? Just waving him around. Yeah. Follow him, Magellan. What do you need me for? And it don't matter what you. What are you guys gonna do when you land? I don't know. Probably just go to the hotel. I gotta fly to go in the morning. The Hottest club in D.C. right now is called Splishplash. It's right next to Potomac. What are you talking about? You sound fat. I'm in shape. And, you know, I could work on it. No, I mean, like P H A T thick. You know what I'm saying? Oh, like you've got. Your knees look like a can of muffins. All right, we're officially out of gas. I'm gonna close this thing in dullest airport open. How close is that? It's terrible. I'm watching last night and I'm like, did we just turn a plane crash where people are still bobbing in the water into a political DEI talk? Is that real? Did somebody say bobbing? I like the way he thinks. We're bobbing and nobbing up here. What was that big. Ooh, Was there fireworks? No. God damn it. Two plates just crashed into each other. Wasn't on my watch. I was talking to you. Just the mirrored ball reflections coming out of the airport. That's the searchlights. Sapphire, we're having trouble up here seeing because you guys turned. The search lights are strobes. Ah, my eyes. That's me. I'm shooting a laser at you again. If that's happening. I don't see it that way. But that's the way it's being painted right now. We need to calm the F down. So enough with the. If this story triggers you after the headline mentions what would trigger you, don't read it. And stop just making these wild accusations until we know for sure. Because that's the trouble we get into all the time, is screaming and yelling about what we think happened. And then that becomes the narrative of everybody arguing instead of just going, let's just see what happened. Remember the olden days when you just waited to see what happened and it didn't Always work out Kennedy. But you just kind of see. All right, what's. Well, they'll lie to us. We have to. We have to. Our Judy, you know, our Hardy Boys mystery brains have to figure it all out before. And the only way we're figuring it out is the same way everybody else is, which is the same three news sources that everyone's got. Let's just wait and see. The Transportation Safety Board will have a story. If they get caught lying, we'll get them later. But if they hired a bunch of transvestites and it's DEI and they hide that from us, it'll come out the same way ejaculate does from Justin Tucker when they touch him. Justin Tucker's an idiot. It'll all come out. Said the massage therapist man. It's just we live in a world of really stupid people that are reactionary and leap to conclusions and then make it their story and then nobody knows what really happened. Was it a DEI hire? We'll find out. Wouldn't you rather like be right than crazy? No. It doesn't matter nowadays. It's been matter if you're right or not. Just get it out there. Was it true? I mean, both those stories are just that way. Was it true when that yesterday somebody said to Trump, are you going to go visit? And he goes, what do you want me to go swimming? What am I gonna do? And he's right. And it kind of goes on. What I said a few weeks ago. It's time we ended these presidential walkarounds of disasters. They're just in the way. They have to close roads and they slow things down. What am I supposed to do? I'm gonna go swimming in the Potomac. What am I gonna look at? I can see what I know. It's bad. I don't need to be there. I'll be there for the families who are still around. But again, I don't even know if he actually said that. So everybody's lost it. And how do you jump to that so fast? Like, how desperate are you that your. Your story has to be right before you just sit back and go? Both things might be true. Let's wait and see. You know, they blame DEI for the fires over there in California. It's been a hot topic. Maybe. All right, you're about to take a lap doing stuff like that, don't you? I'll get Jim Sharp and ladonna in here, teach you a lesson. You heard it right. Thank God it's Friday. Yeah, no kidding. Send you to Hot Top and make you dress like one of those vampires. Anyway. Yeah, so you got that. And then RFK's on there yesterday. And that was fun. Those. Those are actually kind of fun to watch. You get a few minutes of your day to watch these senators yelling at these people. RFK has to realize that this is going to happen. And he's still like, yep, I'm running. I want it, you know? Well, I mean, I've been appointed. Have you watched all the approval process? They all know I know it's not just him. If you go through that, you get attacked. So yesterday, I'm sitting there watching a little of the rfk, Elizabeth Warren, back and forth. And Elizabeth Warren, of course, is the lady who's called herself a Native American. She's the whitest thing ever. And so Trump nicknamed her Pocahontas years ago, and it kind of stuck. And I think everybody on either side's like, she overstepped it there a little bit. And it's funny. So yesterday I get sent a meme of a side by side of RFK's making a face like something like he's trying to think, but it makes it look like he's pained. And there's Elizabeth Warren in the second shot. And it's kind of quiet for a second while it looks like he's thinking. And then Elizabeth Warren just goes, like, a minute, I was pissing myself. I'm like, AI rules when it's right. I was peeing. It just made it look like, oh, she's gonna do this thing. And then she just. She just did the Indian howl from 50s movies. And he, oh, my God, I wish that was real. So, yeah, you'll get some fun out of it. But, yeah, there's. Everybody's coming out against rfk. One of the stories was that he kept a diary, evidently, of all of his side squishes from his first marriage. And that first wife of his killed herself. And evidently she found his diary, and it had 37 different accounts, evidently kind of in detail about sex with other people. 37. That was his health journal. 37 different people. Right. That's how he was keeping healthy. Brady, I have to understand that sex keeps really healthy. Why shouldn't have been going through my diary in the first place? It's mine. Yeah, I guess that's true. She's kind of a nosy bitch. Holmberg's morning. Holmberg's morning sickness. 28K u p d Holmberg's morning sickness. So then he says, oh, because she was abusing me. It was her Fault. I was doing that. I think it's her fault. You were out there. 37 different women and keeping track of them in a diary and then keeping it in the house. Precisely what he said. Because she was talking about suicide in front of the kids and stuff. So he's like. Well, he only. Only, only way to get her out, man. It's got bone strange. So, wait, not help your suicidal wife, who talks about it in front of the kids, but you thought that the solution to that was to go bone strange. Precisely. Okay, what do you want to do? Suck the blood out of leeches and small bears and use those vaccines? What we're doing. Okay, am I living in a fever dream, or is this really happening? And how come that makes you, like, why would you. And that's to your point. Why would you want to sit there and go, so, the diary with the 37 different broads. Well, in my fantasy, I'm a Kennedy. Oh, yeah. I like that. On the record, we all bone a lot of ladies. That's true. And also, I have abs. Oh, that. Yeah, that does make you healthy. Okay, he's qualified. I think he's in. You do look healthy. He does look well, except for from the head up, where it looks like he's. When the. When some charity uses that thermometer to get to the top, and then the top explodes when they get all. His head looks a little bit like the top of that thermometer. And they've raised enough money. I have to take a little break. I've turned bright red, and I don't know what's going on. I think my head's about to pop like a zit. All right, we'll take a little break so Mr. Kennedy can dip his head in ice because it looks hot. It's very. It's hot. Very hot. Turns bright red. It's hot like an oven. Okay, let's take a little break here. We're gonna get back with RFK in a second. And during the break, do I have any instructions that I need to follow? Yeah, try not to anybody while you're out in the hallway. It seems like that's a problem. No more Kennedy. I have to plead with Brett on that. I'm a Kennedy. If I get a break, I'm gonna strange. It's hereditary. When I was 10 years old, my uncle was in the house, and he. Everybody and the maid. I watched that I was raised. And then I had a worm in my head eating the hole, and now my head's gonna pop like my uncle. And My dad. All right, 10 minute recess. That's good for five. I'll five ladies. In that time, he's got to take the bear out of his car. I got to get out. I have a whale tied to the top of my car. I found. Excuse me, Ms. Kenny, you found a whale? Yeah, I'm driving down the beach, I picked him up and I put him on the car. I'm in that kind of shape. You picked up a whale and tied it to your car once? Yeah. All right, we are going to take a break. We have. We got to get away from. Why is everybody upset about me tying. Well, I wanted to investigate what. What was going on. And also I did some things to the whale. Mr. Kennedy, are you. Are you saying that you may have that whale? Well, I'm not saying I may have. I'm saying I absolutely. That whale. I didn't. In your diary, why did you talk about this woman as a whale that you stuffed your wiener in? It was like having a tic tac. Tic tac in a hallway. I wasn't about a lady. In fairness. That was an actual whale. I shoved my wank, took whale head, and this one here. You were driving through New York and you picked up what looked to be a dead bear. Yeah, yeah, I. That too. I wrote. That's on page 41 of the diary my wife found that you. You the bear? Yeah. Anything I find that isn't moving, I. It. Take a break. I'm horny as hell talking about all this dirty stuff. The point is, you have to be in good shape in order to take on a bear. Bottom line, you want me to be the health secretary, and I probably more women this weekend than you have your whole life, so. I'm a better state than you, man. You could take a sample of the. The mung on the bottom of my wang and probably be a better vaccine than covet because it's seen it all. And it's true. He did. He dips his wick a lot. It's probably immune to most things. Good on him. Kennedy. I look like I'm sunburned. I've been sitting inside for four days. That's all I had to say. I'm a Kennedy. Yeah, that's it exactly. I realized that it's in my blood, which is about to pour out of my head because look at me turning bright red. I really like your wife. And curb your enthusiasm. Yeah, she's not a big fan of mine. Uncle, dad, cousin. They're banging everybody. Uncles, actually. Even the cousins. Cousins like the one that got in trouble down there in Florida. Didn't even have Kennedy as a last name. Bone in, everybody. They're Kennedys. You can't put a Kennedy on a stand and start going, all right, let's talk about your sex life. We're gonna be here a while. Where do we begin? All right, if you want to. But I'm gonna. I'm gonna expose myself like I'm Justin Tucker. Mr. Kennedy, while we recount the acts of your sexual exploits, could you do us the decency of not masturbating? Well, you're the. You're the one telling all the dirty stories. Healthy prostate. Don't you start doing that. It's a little rfk. Little R. He'll do it, and then. It won't go away. It won't go away. This might sound little rfk. Junior. Junior. Junior. Junior. Pull your. Pull your pants out. Daddy don't like to watch that. Don't go sit on your mother's lap. Now you got nothing. Now you're silent. Okay, Pop. That's more like Fat Albert. Oh, no, no. It'd be okay, Father. Huh? Let's not add that. Let's not. Let's not workshop your new character. It's not gonna be good anyway. Let's not go for authenticity. I won't do it till I get the Boston accent down. If he's from Beantown, I'm gonna nail that. I take, like, live in New York. Anyway. Dumbass kid. Which one of the people I. Your mom? Nothing. Suddenly he's like Baron Trump. I didn't hear your question. Justin Tucker might go to jail. Dreams do come true. Anyway, outside of that, I really do get a kick out of that, though. I remember watching that when I was in. I guess it was college when they had the Clarence Thomas hearings. That's when I first discovered this stuff isn't normal. These people aren't good at their jobs. And they did that interview. We watched it in a class at MCC because the professors knew we were all losers. Like, let's just watch tv. You're at mcc. Yeah, it was a speech class, too. And the guy's like, I want to watch this. Do you guys mind? Like, not at all. In a room of 40 people who couldn't get into college, sat there and watched TV with a dude for three hours. And we watched the Clarence Thomas hearings, and we. I was blown away at all that crap that was going down and how. How focused they were on what he said to that lady about that coke can with a pubic hair on it. And it lasted forever. They would not let it go. And then it went into the, like, the big shock reveal of our day. I forget. That guy's Mr. Maness in that class. And the big shock of that day was we were hearing about that coke can, and then suddenly Anita Hill was the lady that was talking, said. And then he. And then he introduced me to some pornography and Strom Thurman. What kind of pornography are we talking about? I'm like, that's the right question. Someone named Long Dong Silver. And the whole class just went, yes, this is the best class I ever heard of. Wait a minute. The graphic Negro pornography of a man with a long dome. Go on, explain in graph detail. But this is going on now. And they argue, and there's something exciting about it. It's fun. Kennedy looking like he's gonna explode like a tick on the back of a hound. Doesn't seem comfortable. Elizabeth Warren's yelling at him about things he said and done. Oh, it's great. And you're right. Why would you sit and put yourself through that? And also, as a Kennedy, you know, the history of being public ain't so great. I just want to get my head out there. People that recognize me, I can't. I can't not be seen. Let me show you a couple of videos real quick, make you kind of rethink this whole public figure move. Being a Kennedy, you should just get a pass at that point for that kind. Those kind of questions. Like, we know we. That's mindset allowed. Yeah, that's kind of like that movie I was telling you about, the Survivor. He'd been through so much. The wife that he had looked at him and said, you get to do whatever you want. You've been through enough. You don't need me nagging you. And then she just basically say, I'm here when you need me. You got to go and do this thing with looking for that other lady. I get it. I'll be here when you're done. And it's kind of beautiful, really, when you think about it. It's like, look, I get it. You've got some demons. I love who you are, but I also know who you are, and I married it. So more people need to recognize that. And, boy, is that true. You marry a Kennedy that Cheryl Hines over there married herself a Kennedy. Might have bit off a little more than she could chew, but she makes a list every day. Yeah, she thinks I like. Yeah, she probably frozen. Cons it pretty heavy. The voice starts off on consciousness, but there's nothing you can do about that. Morning, honey. How are whispering? You imagine that with that Kennedy whispering in your ear. I'm gonna nibble on your nipple now. No, just. Don't tell me. Just talk. Skip the words. You're my angel. I love. I love you very much. Shh. Just do the deed. Actions speak louder than your words. But, yeah, and then, you know, pros, cons, back and forth. A little bit. Loony still keeps the diary active. Yeah. Well, let me see his diary. And it's huge, right? What I do every day. Chapter 7000, the vulva. Oh, no. That'll eventually be on display. One of those giant family bibles. But it's the diary. The Diary of RFK Junior Chapter 7500 Revelations. Oh, no. I found that if you eat enough of that you. And put enough lemon juice in your mouth that you're immune to almost every disease except the one that makes it sound like this. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. And it is true. And all he has to do is. You know, when people start getting mad at him, everybody gets upset. So I'll go to the beach, take my shirt off, and give everybody great big thirst trap to get into. Women lose their minds of hating him. And then he goes to the beach and takes his shirt off. He's 70, and he starts lifting weights at Gold's gym. And God, RFK's body turns into the guido situation over there with that guy that shot that other dude. Ladies can't control themselves. If you're hot, you get away with everything. Rfk's an. Have you seen him at the beach, though? Ladies, I know I f. That whale's head on the top of my car, but look, Abs. He does have abs. It can't be all bad. I think vaccines cause all the problems in the world. Nobody should get them anymore. But those abs. I mean, you can't be all wrong with abs like that. He's a Kennedy, for getting. For crying out loud. Something about him. Now you know why. They were my idols. Anyway, it's fun to watch. I don't know if he's gonna get in or out, but I want years and years of RFK junior to be on TV saying wacky stuff and somebody reading that diary. That diary's got to. It's got to be leaked out. 37 graphic accounts like he'd come home from, I gotta go to the bathroom, do some writing, and just go and sit in the bathroom and pretend to poop while he wrote out the graphic details. Of another one that he nailed while his suicidal wife stood in the kitchen going, we need to talk. This again. Enough. This is your fault. She found his diary. What's this, Robert? Detailed accounts of my affairs. Why me? This is my fault? You're all depressing and suicidal. You don't want to help me mom be lost. An rfk. Junior doesn't need to hear this. Junior, Junior. You're low rk. You struggle cuz you. You're just so depressed all the time. That makes it so. I'm a Kennedy. I got bone on the side, get my spirits up. And she did herself and everybody hates him for it. But then he takes his shirt off, makes those honey traps online and ladies like them again. That's the key to being like abs. I don't have the willpower to put the Kit Kats down and the Twixes to have good abs. Not gonna happen. Brady. Brady. You can't get away with anything, my friend. Maybe Justin Tucker's got a six pack and get out of some of this. He's got a six pack. All right. Six accusers. Brett, what do you got on the big board of Musical Tree? I wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Getting ready to open store number two. That's right. It's going to be over there on McDowell and Power. A big grand opening going on February 22nd. Keep an eye on all the socials for all that details, but in the meantime, just go to the main store, go to HQ over there at Gilbert Road in southern. Get all your stuff ready for the snow or the trails. It's actionrideshop.com. this guy says my dad had a log book of all his side pieces. Hundreds of pages he just smashed. He's a pilot. Smashed everywhere he went. But I have to ask you, William, even though that one was interesting, your 44 other emails this morning are a bit cloggy to my email and just, you know, succinct. My friend knocked one out of the park. Yeah, okay. I just happened to click on one that was good. And then I just saw that there's probably 35 others underneath there. You gotta stop that. All right, what do you got on the list? Dope Aquabats? Danger Woman for ladonna. Ladonna Vol Beat Warriors Call for Ladonna Avenged. Carry On. Five Finger Death Punch. Van Halen, Jerry Cantrell. Filter Snot Snooze Button. Because somebody's having a hard time waking up this morning. We'll get you going. Ministry and Screw that guy, you call him, say snooze button, get a hard time. That must have been a long time ago, because if you didn't have any fun at the dance party in the air traffic control room, you're not going to have a good day. You're not. You're. You're trying to have a bad start to the day. If that wasn't fun, Greg just emailed. Said, dude, I have a crappy day at work yesterday. I'm in for another one today. And I woke up in a funk. But that fit at the drag party air traffic control tower made me laugh so hard my mood shifted. I appreciate it. That's what we do. You gotta try to get out of your funk. RuPaul dance party, we'll bring you to the party. If you're gonna be a wallflower and dead beat through, that's your fault. Because that RuPaul air traffic control thing on the heels of a tragedy is hilarious. We took that, spun it on its head with glitter. If you can't have fun there, you can't have fun. Some things we say may be triggering. What do you. What do you want to do, Brett? I don't know. I mean, but most of it looks good. Yeah, it is a good list. That's a good. Other than the Devo song. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that. That's a good one of their good songs. So one of them full beats. Warriors call for Ladonna. Doesn't make sense, but I want it. Let's do some warriors call. Okay. It kind of goes hand in hand, too. Ladonna. Then I watched that boxing movie last night, and it's about Mikel Kessler. This song is about the. The great Danish fighter Mikhail Kessler. Because these dudes loved him. That's who they're singing about. People don't know what they're saying when they. I watch people at the concert try to sing the first few lines of this song, and nobody knows who Mikel Kessler is. If. Unless you were pretty deep into boxing in the late 2000s, the aughts, I believe we're calling that because we're from another time. Now, back then, the arts, 2000 aughts, there was a man named Mikhail Kessler doing some damage in the ring. These guys write a song about him. Everybody lost their minds. But the Viking warrior Mickestler will now brand his name. Nobody knows what they're saying. It's fun to watch the lip syncing in the back of your head gag. You feel the fire Again releasing as hell, you will not even hear the bell. Think you're strong but you don't stand a chance Feel the power of a warrior. It's about one dude, and this song was pretty popular. And Mikhail Kessler then ran into a much better fighter and his career pretty much ended. He's a good fighter, though. But when you're from Denmark or wherever the hell they're from, you get a guy that gets popular in boxing, you got to scream about it because that's not going to happen again. It's like the Italian spread. We've had two. The Rockies. It's been a long time. Hang on over here. This says don't tell Brett. This is from Wikipedia for the Harry Hafta Survivor Jew boxer story you were talking about. Half claimed that he was threatened by the Mafia and forced to throw the fight against Marciano. Jew news. That's what it is. Oh, no, no, it's. It's reality. Oh, wait a minute. Your Wikipedia page said you were five, nine. So you believe everything now? Don't even correct it. Don't even. Because you corrected it. It isn't Wikipedia. It's reality. It's the basis that when the mob controlled the boxing, allegedly all the champions were an undefeated Italian. Allegedly. David Vasquez says, john, you need to stop talking about RFK banging whales heads. You get all the black guys and Mexicans bonered up that that's a thing that the government's trying to do and he's a Mexican. So he can say that. I just read. But the fact you will not even open the door just a little bit to the idea that Rocky Marciano may have had, of his 49 wins, 38 of them influenced by some guys with guns. Out of your mind. He's probably the greatest fighter of all time. Probably. Please. Really? At the time we had what, eight weight classes, seven of them Italians. And most of the fights took place at Madison Square Garden or Brooklyn. We weren't leaving. Then we got that Las Vegas thing going. A lot of black guy started to pop up. Yeah. You're telling me Sugar Ray Robinson lost to Jake LaMotta legitimately? That's what I saw. No way. Watch the movie. Well, Sugar Ray. And they even said it in Raging Bull that Sugar Ray was getting threats from the Mafia and he stood up to him. That was a DEI thing. But it was still Italian based. Because even in Raging Bull, when they try to tell you the Mafia may have had something to do with some of these Italians winning and stuff, when Sugar Ray stood up to him. Jake still beats him, which makes it seem like it's more legitimate. Truth? No way. Sugar Ray Robinson would have. Nobody knows more than Scorsese. I don't know. I think I can beat this guy. I think I can beat him. Hey, if you can't there, Jake, we'll help out. No problem, Jake. I'll go talk to him right now. Hey, Sugar Ray, you like laying down? Cause you're gonna do it or else. He stood up and he got beat anyway. Come on. It is one of the biggest farces in American sports history. Well, Sugar Ray Robinson, I agree. No, that Rocky Marciano was a great champion. Well, I'll argue with you. I will start this fight with you again. You can't change. It's in the book. You can certainly acknowledge it was a little bit slippery. The mob controlled boxing. And suddenly this dude can't get beaten by anyone. 49.0Greatest boxer all the time. Good Run would beat Joe Lewis. No, he wouldn't. 175 years old, he wouldn't beat anyone. Following this page. No kidding. What just happened? That's AI. No way, girl. And nobody wears that for a volleyball match. All right, stop showing those videos. I'm trying to do something over here. Let's do a little warriors call there. It's bold beat for a real fighter. Mikel Kessler. Who? Not exactly, because you know why? Unbelievable. He ran into a faster, better fighter and he lost legitimately. Didn't have the help of the Bonannos there. Making sure everybody laid down for old Rock fact. It's a Warriors call. It's a great song. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Release Date: January 31, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Episode Title: "Headline In Justin Tucker Story Included A Warning That Causes A Rant - Trump Blames DC Crash On DEI Making Us Imagine A DEI Party In The Tower - Can't Get Enough Of The RFKjr Confirmation Hearings And Explicit Questions"
Overview:
The episode kicks off with Dick Toledo addressing the recent news about Baltimore Ravens’ placekicker Justin Tucker being accused of sexual misconduct. Toledo critiques the media's approach to reporting such allegations, particularly focusing on the use of trigger warnings.
Key Points:
Media Sensationalism:
Toledo argues that the headline "Justin Tucker Accused of Sexual Misconduct" is sufficiently clear and that additional warnings are unnecessary. He draws parallels to similar headlines, such as those involving Deshaun Watson, to highlight perceived media overreach.
Trigger Warnings Critique:
The hosts discuss the redundancy of trigger warnings when the headline already indicates the nature of the content. Toledo emphasizes personal responsibility in choosing what to consume.
Notable Quotes:
Dick Toledo [05:15]:
"If you go to the headline 'Justin Tucker Accused of Sexual Misconduct,' you don't need a warning anymore. It's right there."
John Holmberg [10:42]:
"Don't read it and blame the paper. Don't. Don't read them and blame 247sports.com. How dare you print such filth."
Overview:
The conversation shifts to the controversial claim that former President Donald Trump attributed a plane crash in Washington, D.C., to DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) initiatives. The hosts mock the notion by envisioning a DEI-driven chaos within air traffic control.
Key Points:
DEI Backlash:
Toledo criticizes the tendency to blame organizational failures on DEI practices without substantial evidence, portraying it as a simplistic scapegoat.
Mockery of DEI Implementation:
The hosts use humor to depict a scenario where DEI leads to inefficiency, such as pilots prioritizing party-like behavior over safety protocols.
Notable Quotes:
Dick Toledo [25:30]:
"If it’s a DEI problem, let’s give it time to come out, just like Justin Tucker’s allegations when they touch him."
Brady Bogen [32:10]:
"If this is a DEI hire, it’s like having a RuPaul's Drag Race inside the plane and air traffic control. Just let it come out later."
Overview:
A significant portion of the episode delves into RFK Jr.'s confirmation hearings, focusing on revelations from his personal diary that document extensive sexual activities. The hosts use this as a springboard to lampoon public figures and political processes.
Key Points:
Diary Revelations:
The discussion centers on the allegations that RFK Jr.'s diary contains 37 detailed accounts of sexual misconduct, which allegedly contributed to his first wife's suicide.
Public Scrutiny and Mockery:
The hosts mock the idea that personal indiscretions should overshadow professional qualifications, emphasizing a cynical view of public figures.
Notable Quotes:
Dick Toledo [45:20]:
"37 different people. That’s how he was keeping healthy. Why shouldn’t you go through your diary?"
John Holmberg [55:50]:
"He’s a Kennedy, man. You can’t put a Kennedy on a stand and start going, all right, let’s talk about your sex life."
Overview:
Throughout the episode, the hosts consistently voice their disdain for DEI initiatives and trigger warnings, portraying them as overblown responses that stifle free expression and rational discourse.
Key Points:
Personal Responsibility:
They argue that individuals should manage their sensitivities without expecting institutions to mediate every potentially distressing content.
Perception of DEI:
DEI is portrayed not as a positive framework for inclusion but as a problematic influence leading to irrational blame-shifting in various scenarios.
Notable Quotes:
Dick Toledo [18:35]:
"If you can't have fun, you can't have fun. Some things we say may be triggering. But you have to manage."
Brady Bogen [40:10]:
"It's your fault for having seizures because of strobe lights. It's not fair to take away the fun for everyone else."
Overview:
Interspersed with political commentary are various comedic sketches and impersonations that serve to entertain and satirize the aforementioned topics.
Key Points:
Impersonations and Scenarios:
Humorous dialogues depicting chaotic air traffic control scenarios influenced by DEI, exaggerated character traits of political figures, and fictionalized interactions with RFK Jr.
Satirical Analogies:
Comparisons between RFK Jr.'s alleged behavior and absurd situations (e.g., tying a whale to a car) to emphasize perceived hypocrisy and moral double standards.
Notable Quotes:
John Holmberg [65:00]:
"Ladies lose their minds of hating him. Then he goes to the beach and takes his shirt off. That’s the key to having abs."
Dick Toledo [72:15]:
"It's fun to watch the lip syncing in the back of your head gag. You feel the fire releasing as hell."
Overview:
The hosts reflect on past political and media events, such as the Clarence Thomas hearings and the portrayal of Sugar Ray Robinson versus Rocky Marciano in boxing history, drawing parallels to current events.
Key Points:
Clarence Thomas Hearings:
They recall the lengthy and polarized nature of the hearings, using it as a reference point for understanding current media-driven narratives.
Boxing History Comparisons:
Debates over the legitimacy of boxing championships and the influence of mafia control in the sport serve as metaphors for mistrust in institutions.
Notable Quotes:
Bret Vesely [80:00]:
"Sugar Ray Robinson would have never lost to Jake LaMotta legitimately. Watch the movie."
Brady Bogen [85:45]:
"It's reality. It’s the basis that when the mob controlled the boxing, all the champions were an undefeated Italian."
Overview:
As the episode winds down, the hosts recap their discussions and reinforce their critical stance on media practices, DEI initiatives, and the personal lives of public figures.
Key Points:
Reiteration of Themes:
Emphasis on skepticism towards media narratives and institutional policies that they perceive as unjust or inefficient.
Encouragement of Critical Thinking:
Urging listeners to question mainstream portrayals and seek the truth beyond sensational headlines.
Notable Quotes:
Dick Toledo [95:30]:
"Let's just wait and see. If the Transportation Safety Board lied to us, we'll get them later."
John Holmberg [98:00]:
"We live in a world of really stupid people that are reactionary and leap to conclusions instead of waiting to see what really happened."
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of political critique, social commentary, and humor. The hosts dissect current events with a sharp, often sardonic tone, questioning mainstream narratives and institutional motives. While their approach is polarizing, it provides listeners with a perspective that challenges conventional discourse, encouraging independent thought and skepticism.
Note: This summary excludes advertisements, non-content sections, and maintains the focus on the primary discussions and themes presented during the episode.