02-03-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Released on February 3, 2025

Host and Contributors:

• John Holmberg (Host)
• Brady Bogen
• Brett Vesely
• Dick Toledo
• LaDonna

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1. Phoenix Open Week Anticipation

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg expressing excitement for the upcoming Phoenix Open, highlighting its televised coverage and the influx of visitors it will bring to Arizona. He emphasizes the need for local communities, particularly Mesa, to actively engage and "rowdy it up" to create a vibrant atmosphere during the tournament.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [00:35]: "Rowdy it up, Mesa. Let's get out there to that tournament. Let's go, Mesa. I'm counting on you."

2. Mesa's Role and Community Issues

Holmberg discusses the influence of Mesa in the East Valley and its association with societal issues like fentanyl. He urges the community to take action, suggesting symbolic gestures such as displaying Confederate flags to deter unwanted visitors from other states. The conversation touches on the division between East and West sides, with Brady Bogen mentioning activities like stealing cop cars on the west side as a backdrop to Mesa's challenges.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [01:43]: "They're doing it on the west side already. Stealing cop cars."
• John Holmberg [02:12]: "I just want them to start... maybe like a fentanyl bust or something like that."

3. WNBA Phoenix Mercury and Sophie Cunningham Trade

A significant portion of the show centers around the trade of Sophie Cunningham, the Phoenix Mercury's prominent broadcaster. Holmberg criticizes the team's decision to trade her, attributing it to poor marketing strategies and the loss of a key figure who attracted a broader audience to the WNBA.

He laments the impact of losing Cunningham, noting her ability to engage viewers and enhance the team's visibility. The discussion also delves into the challenges the Mercury face without a charismatic broadcaster, questioning the team's direction and future fan engagement.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [18:59]: "Sophie Cunningham was the unofficial face of this franchise... She was a draw."
• John Holmberg [23:45]: "Terrible, terrible, and terrible. But there's nothing you can do."

4. Commentary on the Grammys and Modern Music

The hosts critique the recent Grammy Awards, highlighting performances and speeches they found lacking or offensive. John Holmberg expresses dissatisfaction with the current state of the music industry, describing performances as repetitive and lacking originality. He specifically points out issues with the inclusivity messages, viewing them as insincere or poorly executed.

The conversation also covers topics like the representation of different communities in music and the perceived decline in musical innovation.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [39:51]: "Most of America doesn't watch them, but last night they... a lot of gay... grabbing hold of that thing."
• John Holmberg [45:24]: "The whole point of being in music is that the struggle is... to not make money, that's bad business."

5. Working From Home and Community Concerns

The discussion shifts to the challenges of working from home, with Holmberg criticizing the lack of productivity and the disconnect it creates within teams. He shares anecdotes about missing out on critical work moments and the implications for business operations.

Additionally, the hosts touch upon local community issues, including missing persons and the impact of large events like the Phoenix Open on public safety.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [162:03]: "It's hard to be the woman that made Kim Kardashian look like a nun compared to your new wife."
• John Holmberg [167:56]: "The radio stations, they still aren't all back in the..."

6. Audience Interaction and Personal Stories

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage with listener emails and personal anecdotes. Topics range from personal relationships and ethical dilemmas to humorous takes on daily mishaps. John Holmberg shares a personal story about an embarrassing incident while urinating, blending humor with relatable content.

The segment also includes discussions about friendships, accountability, and the complexities of maintaining personal relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [155:37]: "You just get to jab it in there and you move it counts."
• John Holmberg [159:24]: "That's a tough one. And I think we're all kind of sitting there thinking, wish I had a son with an ex-girlfriend."

7. Upcoming Events and Promotions

The episode concludes with promotions for local businesses and upcoming events, including the Phoenix Open's 25th anniversary and various giveaways. The hosts encourage listeners to participate in contests and attend scheduled events, maintaining a strong connection with the Arizona community.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [142:24]: "Friday is coming up next, but I'm running late on commercials."
• John Holmberg [151:40]: "She started charging people to come to the house to do readings and tarot cards."

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Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delves into a variety of topics ranging from local community issues and sports events to critiques of the music industry and personal anecdotes. With a blend of humor, candid opinions, and listener interactions, the show aims to entertain and provoke thought among its Arizona audience.

Listen Live or Replay: Tune in weekdays from 5:30a-10a on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), the 98 KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com to catch future episodes of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It's 5:45. That's the Morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett, there's ladonna. There's Toledo. We're ready to go for yet another glorious day here. And I mean, perfect. Ridiculous. What's going on here? And we're ready for Phoenix Open week. And damn it all, it's gonna be on tv. You know what I'm talking about? Damn. Phoenix Open is gonna be on television. People are gonna watch this and they're gonna see blue skies, perfect weather and tan people and they're gonna want to leave Mother Buffalo and Kansas and they're gonna start coming over here with their problems and their thoughts. All those people in California, this is. Here's what we need to do. Rowdy it up, Mesa. Let's get out there to that tournament. Let's go, Mesa. I'm counting on you.

[Brady]

They're doing it on the west side already. Stealing cop cars.

[John Holmberg]

And I love that they're having little riots on the west side. Swiping cop cars. That's nice. West Siders aren't going to make the trip over there to the Phoenix Open. This is completely on our east side West Siders, which is Mesa. We need Mesa to act up and act a fool this weekend. Now, I don't want anybody to get hurt. I just want them to start, you know, maybe like a fentanyl bust or something like that. That'd be nice if you guys could Mesa your way into the Phoenix Open with pounds of fentanyl.

[Brady]

Dobson Ranch unite.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. I need you, adoption ranch. For those who don't know the Bel Air of Mesa. That's true. So it's going to be tougher, but there's still a fentanyl Issue, I'm sure because Mesa's attached.

[Brett]

It's all over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's Mesa. There's a lot. There's. Let's just be honest. It stems from Mesa and then most of the west valley. Let's be. Let's be completely clear as to where this comes from. But Mesa, we need you. You're our east valley, west valley. So we need you guys to step up Apache Junction. I'd ask you, but it's just. They're not going. You're not going to make it. You get so distracted by, you know. You know, how much copper they have to drive by to get to Scottsdale. They're not going to make it all the way to the west. Pulling over, pulling stuff out of the ground. We need Mesa there. We need you guys acting a fool. And I mean fools. You know, if you could start doing like Mesa. Guys doing flips off of things, you know, like parkour. Fat guys doing parkour because they're too drunk to understand that's what we need. And just have people look and go. The weather's beautiful, but the people. Confederate flags. I'm telling you, that's the key to keeping them away. We're all in on this. Remember a few weeks ago we said that we're all in on this. There was that tragic fire in California, and I said, okay, it's a terrible thing, but they're going to start looking at places to move because of the mudslides and the earthquakes and fires and all. We can't look too good on tv. So I need Mesa to. A few you could confet up a little bit. Just pop in every once in a while. You're gonna have a. You're gonna be removed. But let's face it, Mesa, you guys aren't interested in golf anyway. Confederate flags to keep Californians without houses away. And almost every snowbound weirdo with mental disorders and Xanax addictions to come floating out here thinking this place is gonna change their lives. It's not.

[Brady]

I mean, Mace is not in a golf. They got golf land over there, right? Off to 60 and Country Club.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Bring. Yeah. Connoisseurs, Brad. And what's the closest thing to Mesa? Golf Land. That weird right in the middle of it. That trailer park. Oh, yeah. Is it still there?

[Brady]

No, I think that one's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I remember I was with a friend of mine years ago, and I'm in my jeep and he's like, this is my. I. I don't remember her name. I'll say Stacy, for sake. Of argument. This Stacy, my. My girlfriend's sister. And Stacy was one of those girls that when she's sitting down and all you can see is her upper body, Stacy is a banger. Like, this is. This is a home run. And then Stacy gets up like she's in the. Where the wild things are. The bottom of her is attached to a different body. Like that shouldn't be. This giant hot air balloon gondola is hanging off the bottom of her tiny upper frame. Oh, the upper. She had like a 10 inch waist and a 50 inch hip. It was crazy. And modern times, she'd be cardi b. Back in the, you know, the 90s, she was bleh. So next thing you know, we're at the. My. My friend was working up at the sports bar at the point at south mountain, which is now known as something else, Arizona grand. So she lays down on the grass and said essentially something like, lay down with me. And I'm like, all right. So we let him start making out. And I'm like, this is going good. And I mean, like, going at it. I'm like, this is the thing. She goes, you want to come back to my house? I'm like, yes. She goes, I don't have. She didn't ride. So I think that was more important to her. It's like she was basically doing the 70s cash, grass, or ass thing that nobody rides for free. She knew she had to get a ride home. She had to put out. She didn't have any of the other things. So I drive and I'm like, where do you live? And she goes, in mesa. I'm like, all right, that's kind of a hall, but all right. Because we were over in the Guadalupe area. So I drive all the way over and I'm like, where are we going? Turn here. And I'm like, we're going to golf lunch. She goes, no, you turn on that little street to go into golfland sunsplash. And I'm like, where are we going? Two little turns behind this industrial thing. And then this strange. Before I knew what snatch was that kind of like circular trailer encampment.

[Brett]

A community of caravans.

[John Holmberg]

It was a can, an encampment of caravans. And she started saying stuff like, I'm gonna you. So I'm like, yes, you are. This is it. Where are we going, though? Cause I'm bougie and this is not working out for me right now. Are we gonna do it at golfland? Turn right. And I turn right, My headlights hit this trailer park and Then she goes, you got to be quiet, though. You're going to wake my aunt, my mama. I go, okay, they're in there.

[Brady]

Third one, a big one on the right.

[John Holmberg]

I basically, yeah. So I was like, you know what? Maybe we should do this another time. And I hightailed it out of there. Cuz I'm smart. I knew what was really happening. I was going to end up in a bathtub without any kidneys.

[Brady]

Now, this is an LA guy girl.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. LA. No LA guy LA girl. LA. Guy girl was. She was poorer in appearance.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

She probably had a nicer place. No, I wouldn't have stuck around for breakfast, Brady. By then, I would have been.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying. If you would have stayed, you'd have been in real trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like I said, I'd have been in a bathtub with no kidneys. We're not talking about whether she served me breakfast. You got to stay on focus here. Brady must be hungry.

[Brady]

Y'all want some grits?

[John Holmberg]

I said I'd be missing kidneys. And he goes, wonder if they serve breakfast in the tub full of ice. There's our flag with the Confederacy on it. So those are the people that I need to screw this up. You people need to do this. That trailer park over there by Golfland, if it's still around. Behind the Waffle House.

[Brady]

Oh, man, no, it's not there anymore.

[John Holmberg]

The Waffle House is gone.

[Brady]

No, yeah, that's gone, too, actually. They moved it. It's on the south side of Country Club now. Now it's a. It's a taqueria or whatever it is. You know, it's fitting.

[John Holmberg]

I'd like that, too.

[Brady]

Call the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett]

Waffle House Country Club is gone.

[Brady]

Now it's. It's. It's on the other side of the.

[John Holmberg]

Starving to death. I was. I literally.

[Brett]

The point is, it cracked me up because it was a Waffle House Country.

[John Holmberg]

Club in my store. That's how they answer the phone in my. You called them? Yeah. Why?

[Brett]

I wanted to be a member of the Waffle House Country Club.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the thing in my story where I had organs. Human trafficked. He worried about breakfast, and now he's telling us a tale that he's familiar with the Waffle House on Country Club. Anyway, Mesa step it up. Confed flags. Maybe a General Lee T shirt or two. That's what we need. And we need you to get on television. A lot of hooting and hollering. This has got to happen. If you. If you want Our city to stay pristine. We keep talking about how beautiful it is and we know. I used to be a big fan of Phoenix. Hey, come on, visit no more. All those sad sacks that haven't made their lives work over in cruddy Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, California now, too, with the fires. California, yeah. All those dumps that are in the center of this country, if you go through there. And all that rusty garbage with weeds all over it. And they call it the heartland. I call it get a weed eater. Nothing worse than driving the freeways of the Midwest. Good Christ, people, go get yourself a still and work the sides of the roads for a few seconds. It's just weeds and rusted out crap and yuck. The rust. Ugh. We don't have that here. If they ever found that out. We don't. We don't rust here. Nothing here rusts. They have to work to make something rust here. Confederate flags. That's my answer. If you've got another one, please, we'll need it. But Mesa, you guys have to show up, and I mean show up big to this Phoenix open. Tempe, the college kids bro it up a little bit. Yeah, we could do for a couple of bro moments where one of you jumps off the top of a tent and you know, you know, hurt yourself. I'm fine with it. Don't hurt anybody, but bro down hardcore. It would help if somebody went into a drinking coma. That wouldn't be so bad. Tempe could show up and do that. Mesa, Confederate. Flag it through, please. Smuggle in some fentanyl. A fentanyl bust and the guy who gets busted has Confederate flag. We need a. We need a fall guy for this thing. This is going to be the last year. It was great because it rained the whole time. All they talked about was the last couple days were nice, but they kept blimp showing the flooded parking lots. And what a miserable experience it was getting out of the Phoenix Open this year. Oh, it's going to be perfect. And then I like my city to be beautiful, but I also like the idea that people from Buffalo and Rochester stay out of it. You can visit. Phoenix is basically the bar. At 1:55 in the morning. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Let's go. Let's get out of here. You're all done. David says see if I can get a crew of assholes together tonight. Scare some out of town or something to move. Yeah, that's that. Vasquez, you are our key. You and Your friends get out there with some, you know, maybe that. That would be nice. Some of you, you know, Vasquez, like people put those. What do they call those glasses? Those lokes.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Get some of those in those shirts. What Brett has on, like a flannel on with just the top button buttoned. Give me some of those. Every. Every Vasquez, you've got an uncle that's got one of those crazy mustaches and like a weird 1970s car obsession. Roll his ass out there in his tank top and his 40 and those. Give me some. Give me some. True Mexicans scare the. I like that. I don't want to see.

[Brady]

And we need a Danny Trujillo looking guys to show up.

[John Holmberg]

Danny Trejo needs to be there. Machete and like 30 or 40 of them. Just one, always the shortest one, always has his knee up on something. It's like he's standing there like Captain Morgan and I don't know why, but.

[Brady]

He'S leaning the White Sox pulled up to his knees wearing shorts. Goes down to his ankles.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a 40 in his hand. No matter what. Like it could be at a wedding. It doesn't matter. We need that. We need your Mexicans to go over the top. Hillbilly whites from Mesa. Over the top.

[Brady]

Hell yeah.

[John Holmberg]

John.

[Brady]

January 6th, Donald Trump. February 6th, John Holberg.

[John Holmberg]

God damn right I'm calling for it. I'm going to need you guys out there. I'll be. I'll be right there with you. I'll be there Friday with you. I don't know how to do it. I can look like a proud boy. I'm very bald. Very bald. I don't want any of that stuff. I don't want to. A little bit. I don't. So I don't want it to be obvious. Just subtle. Scare the Midwest, that's it. You got too many vatos and too many Confeds out there. You're going to scare the hell out of the Midwest. And those weirdos won't come here with their ideas. We're all full up. I was on the bike trail yesterday for a couple hours. We are all full up. It is packed right now because the weather's nice and a lot of them are in jeans and flip flops. So I know they're not from around here. And some of them in, like, shorts that I don't know when the last time they sold shorts that little were. But my God, the Roosevelt district.

[Brady]

They do.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're older men who don't know they're gay. The shorts at least, and like, turquoise shorts that their wives. But you could tell when a wife starts dressing a guy. He was out on the trail a lot yesterday. And the ones that I know for sure that aren't from around here have two walking sticks that they just bought at rei. Just guarantee like that when you're supposed to use walking sticks because the terrain. All right, get out of the way on your left. But it's Phoenix home. Like, you heard. Brett, Nice move there. Bring a nickel back into the party there, too, because that's kicking it off. That's gonna be a heck of a show on Saturday. I think it's Saturday. Friday or Saturday, but I think it's Friday. Either way, I hope they're a bird's nest. They're gonna have some. The party's gonna get crazy, and I just need. I need the news to go back. Just a. Trouble at the Phoenix Open is tensions rose when Confederate flags flew over the. Yes. Yes. We don't have to mean it. Just show it. That's all. Maybe an ice raid. Yeah, good idea, key customer. Maybe we get an ice raid out there. We're mad at Canada for some reason right now. Let's. Let's get some of these Canadians.

[Brett]

They're mad at us.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we're mad at them, too, that we started it. We started it by tariffing them, so now they're mad at us because we hit them. But they started it by, you know, not participating in the original argument and just bending a knee. That's essentially all we need Canada to do. And the fact that Canada won't bend the knee is almost laughable. Like, you guys think you're independent. You're a state. Fight your own wars, Canada, and then don't bend any. I like when Canada gets puffy. Canada's like, oh, yeah, they were booing the national anthem at hockey games. Listen, I'm like, calm down, Drake.

[Brett]

Take that.

[John Holmberg]

But you guys are nothing without us, and you know it all. All the king is asking is you bend a knee. That's it. You're Canada. Bend the knee. Keep the syrup flowing. We won't knock you silly with these tariffs. I don't understand it myself. Not going to pretend I do. I just know that Canada needs to kind of look around and go, yeah, we should probably be nice to this guy. Let's not go crazy. We're Canada. Like, if Newfoundland decided to get mouthy with Canada, they'd look and go, shut up. Basically, we're just smacking our little brother. I'm Fine with that. But yeah, let's deport a bunch of them. Let's ice raid a bunch of Canadians. It'd be nice though to have the Confederate flag on people and just stick like stickers and you put it on people and welcome to Arizona. Just be great like, just like a welcoming committee of Confed flags.

[LaDonna]

And I love the weather and the resort, but my God, the areas around it are horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Like Columbus, Brady, your city, where you live. It's nice. But don't leave where Brady's from because the whole thing is just a series of Buster Douglas clones wandering the streets drinking 40.

[Brett]

Stay inside the walls.

[John Holmberg]

Stay inside of where Brady grew up. Because he doesn't realize that most of Columbus, Ohio is the most horrifying, scary thing I've ever been to. You don't believe me? Go back to 1991 when Buster Douglas flew home from Japan after he beat Mike Tyson and take a look at how the airport supported him. It's the most like all of the inner cities showed up and they were, they were ready to go. Good job by the Columbus police to keep that and maybe the federal operation to keep the airport safe because there were hundreds of thousands of the most like hard ass looking people I've ever.

[Brett]

Seen airports close to the area.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, because. Because it's out of Europe only to.

[Brett]

Go a couple of blocks.

[John Holmberg]

All of Columbus is basically like, you know, blue collar everything. And then you have Brady's little area that just kind of feeds on them and lets them serve his family lunch and dinner at the country club. That's essentially what Columbus get out by five. Yeah, that's what we need people to think of. Phoenix. It's either vatos or Confeds and it's a whole. Just a bubbling.

[Brett]

We're gun crazy too.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe a few of that. Yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. Not bad to have a bunch of concealed carries. But they're not like the, you know. Oh, you guys, it's totally legal to open carries. Can't go in where the drinks are. Not sure you can bring. I think they have a rule says no guns inside.

[Brett]

But yeah, that's not.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe wandering around talking about the outside.

[Brett]

You don't go to the tournament.

[John Holmberg]

That's just to scare the people who are here. Oh no, you do want to go to the tournament. Wander around the tournament fully loaded. You don't have to go in. Oh yeah, Brady, no, this is a. Not saying use it. I'm just saying scare the old Canadians and upstate New Yorkers. We are not Florida we don't want you here.

[Brady]

So get on Amazon. Order them Dukes of Hazzard horns for your car.

[John Holmberg]

They got one on. So much of that. Oh, we need that floating all over the place. Oh, oh. And then vatos are like. And then the flag goes up. Hey, what's going on?

[LaDonna]

And he's like, I got to get back to Albany.

[John Holmberg]

Load the Phoenix Open with that. Move your old ass. Come on. What's wrong with you? They're Mexican and they're racist Mexicans. You could really confuse the upstate New Yorkers with Confederate flags of your own. Weird ones. Yeah, like Confederate flags, only with that Mexican eagle in the center. Like your flag plus the Confederate flag. And then this noise right here. Old people would run to the airport, and it's good because they're flying in and out of Scottsdale, so they didn't have that far to go. This is great. Anyway, a lot going on. Another thing that happened this week, everybody's talking about the basketball trade, but you talk about it all you want. Once again, the brightest mind in all of WNBA marketing sits in this room every Monday through Friday. And I don't understand at all what the Phoenix Mercury are doing. You had Spicy Cunningham, Sophie, my drinking buddy at the Rah Rah Room. Sophie Cunningham. Beautiful, blonde, straight.

[Brady]

She is then. Yeah, okay.

[John Holmberg]

The opposite of marketing. What you've been marketing for the longest time. Also does Sons broadcast with Kevin Ray and is magnificent. The last time I spoke to her and probably will be the last time I ever speak to Sophie Cunningham, I told her, I said, you are. And Kevin was with me. You are absolutely fantastic at calling a basketball game. The fact you don't step on people who've been doing it for 25 years. The fact, you know, she knows the game up and down. She is a remarkable broadcaster who happens to also be incredibly, physically and, you know, visually appealing. Traded to Indiana. The only thing that this Phoenix Mercury has to appeal to a group of people it's not already appealing to was her. She was unofficially the face of this franchise, probably much to the detriment of other players and other people on the team. Or like, she was good enough at basketball. Not great, but good. But she was the one that brought people's eyes to the WNBA that said, wait a minute, that's in the wnb. That's because I never see that. And she knows the game. You watch a son's game with Sophie calling the game or the pre and post game with Tom Chambers. It's like Sam and Diane on there. You're like, when are these two gonna just hook up? Like there's chemistry. She's. She's just a bright light of energy and fun. And the Mercury traded her because they still think they've got a product worth watching. You are not bringing new eyes to the party without someone like her. And you were doing a great job. I thought, I thought that was the first time. And the only, only untradable one on the whole team was Sophie Cunningham. If you're trying to get young boys interested in the game, if you're trying to get young men, if you're trying to get 50 year old DJs anyone into like she was, she was eye candy. She was a draw.

[Brady]

Ford is a sponsor instead of just Subaru.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You start looking around at other car companies and Subaru won't have that market cornered. Nope. They blew it again. They blew it again.

[Brett]

Just sent Miss America to Indiana.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. And you thought she was superstar. You thought she was hot before. Stand her next to Caitlin Clark G, she's going to look like Farrah Fawcett poster came to life for those Indiana people are going to lose their minds. But you were marketing to a very specific group of people and never really bounced out of that until she rolled in. And that stuff she's doing with Tom Chambers before the game, her and Leander and Tom. Awesome, entertaining, fun, bubbly and like still getting you through the basketball info. Put her on sometimes. Did, did full games where she sat with Eddie and. And K Ray and she was great at that. Not to mention go to her Instagram page and tell me, wow, I might watch a WNBA game because of her. Nope. Phoenix Mercury is like, we need somebody unknown and disgusting to appeal to our core fan base because we have no intention of growing this sport whatsoever. And again, you can sit and call me misogynist. All I say is you're a poorly run operation. That's my only argument against that whole entire thing. Terrible, terrible and terrible. But there's nothing you can do. Do you know why she got traded? Speculation. But it's kind of straight. No, it's kind of on. It's on the Internet a little bit. And it was before the trade, one of her teammates that she used to be tight with put on an Instagram post a little while ago that said something to the effect of you can't say you love somebody and then vote against them like that. And Sophie may have been a Trump supporter and the team basically said not on our. They turned on her. Like you can't. You're not allowed to vote your own way. You have to be general.

[Brett]

You vote the team's way.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you vote the way of the reputation there. Sophie. I mean, come on. Oof. Look at that. Yeah. She evidently was potentially a red hat. Now, I don't know that to be factual, for suresies. But if she wore the red hat and then it got out she had friends that she was very close with on the team that basically said she's got to go because otherwise you have the dumbest marketing department in all of sports to say no. She was. She was going to do very well letting everybody know what the mercury was who didn't care. Basketball fans that don't like the WNBA liked Sophie Cunningham and potentially could have eased up on the hatred of it because of her. Nope. Dumb, dumb.

[Brett]

Well, the product on the floor is.

[John Holmberg]

The most important part. No, it's not. Selling it to the people's the most important part. You're running a business, not a basketball team, and you had something there. And she was awesome. Plus, she was a good drinking pal. We were getting to, you know, a couple pops every once in a while. We in the Rah Rah room, we'd sit and I'd. I'd be at least Sophie adjacent at the Rah Rah room with Kevin.

[Brady]

She cancel your membership now in protest.

[John Holmberg]

You know, what if this was an ishpia move? Absolutely. But I have a feeling the team put heat, put a little pressure on her, saying, we don't need her here. There's some tension in that room.

[Brady]

Isn't it an ishba move?

[John Holmberg]

At the end of the day, it's all Anisha move. Yeah. Eventually the buck stops at the top. So, yeah.

[Brett]

Put his foot down.

[John Holmberg]

He could have stopped it and traded all those crazies that are like, we're. I'm taking that pen away from you early. If you keep.

[Brett]

Here's another 150 grand already. Bring on two more players.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You bring a player. Well, 250,000 is like six players if you. Unless you're going for a superstar.

[Brett]

One hundred and fifty. Got two.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got two for that. That's. You're getting a. You're getting like a Wilt Chamberlain product for that kind of cash. Either way, dumb and dumb. So Sophie's gone and the WNBA goes back to what it was before. An absolute farce of itself trying to sell this cruddy basketball product without a star.

[Brady]

They were throwing out the email this morning. It's whoever the two players that are coming here are. I Don't even know who they are.

[John Holmberg]

One of them's a name in that Alyssa Thomas, but she was the other one. They got Satu Sabali and center Kalani Brown and guards veg the oozen.

[Brett]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. They tried it with Skyler Diggins a few years ago and she just wasn't as charismatic. Very pretty. Wasn't as charismatic. And that's what you need. Hate to break it to you, but you need decent looking people to sell your product. You know why Jimmy Butler gets a lot of commercials in the NBA? Because he's great looking. Period.

[Brady]

It's like Michael Jordan.

[John Holmberg]

Michael Jordan was incredibly good looking. There's Satu. Satu Sabali. Not going to draw the eyes of people.

[Brady]

I mean, this is.

[John Holmberg]

Who aren't already interested in the. It ain't Sophie. You had something you would have if Sophie would have been marketed properly. Sold tickets to college boys to watch WNBA games. Sophie gets it. That's why her Instagram is full of her doing modeling stuff and sexy modeling stuff. She understands where her bread's buttered.

[Brady]

Should be the queen of Indiana now.

[John Holmberg]

In fact, I don't. You guys don't know this, but I said to Kevin Ray to get hold of Sophie and say whatever she makes a year in the wnba, I will pay her to be on this show. All she has to do is sleep. She doesn't have to be on the show. Show up every morning. I'll give her that. What is it? It can't be more than like 45 grand a year, right? We'll pull that to you. 45,000 a year. Come lay on the couch. Quit that stupid league and stay on with the Sun's broadcast team where your real future is and you know, you'll be fine. We'll cover your nut here for a while. You don't have to go to live in Indianapolis, which is a. That's a death sentence again, going back there. Reminder Confederate flags. We don't want any of Indianapolis showing up either.

[Brady]

But her and Caitlyn, man, I mean.

[John Holmberg]

As far as, oh, Indiana is going to lose their mind. They already liked Caitlyn and she looks like Margaret Hamilton from the wizard of Oz. You put Sophie next with lipstick. I don't know. You can't. But you can't put enough lipstick on Caitlyn for me to go, wow, hot. But you can Sophie, she just shows up that. That backcourt right now. Indiana gets it right. We've got Caitlin Clark, we probably got the most likable player.

[Brett]

And Indiana with a parade they're gonna lose their minds.

[John Holmberg]

But their front office saw it. We got a great player. We can't put on billboards. We can, but it's not gonna. You put Sophie next to her on that billboard and you're like, I gotta go to a Fever game. That one's great at basketball. I don't know what this blonde chick does, but I want to see her move around and you'll find out she's not so bad. Still have to watch a WNBA game, but at least there's eye candy.

[Brett]

You'll see more of her.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. You don't see Bulbul getting a whole lot of advertisement. Not saying it's because Bol bowl is not unique to look at, because he is. It's just on the tv. It would be very confusing because you're not really getting the 7 foot 7 thing out of him. Bol. Bol's a strange looking dude. He's not getting a lot of billboards. I mean, if Bolbo was on a billboard, there'd be crashes by that billboard all the time thinking that they've landed. He doesn't look like he's from our planet. That dude just looks different than everybody else. His dad did too. But Bobo's got everything his dad had. Like seems to be amplified on Bobo's face. All his features are twice the size that they should be. He's just. You don't have any of that. Devin Booker. Good looking, good looking guy. KD to a certain degree. Good looking guy.

[Brady]

Man, that's got. Indiana's got to be the straightest team in the league now.

[John Holmberg]

They're marketing. They're marketing too. There's not a huge lesbian population in Indianapolis and basketball is king. You got straight girls, man. Straight white women in Indiana are. What do you think? They're doing it right.

[Brady]

HP needs to hire their marketing team.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the whole WNBA is a mess. It's not just the Mercury, but goodbye to Sophie. I'm gonna miss Sophie Cunningham. I don't know that she made me watch basketball. She made me think about watching the WNBA for a minute. You sitting? Well, when the game's run, like, there's that Sophie Cunningham. You watch her run around a little bit and then she'd take a couple shots and be like, I think I could block that. Pretty sure. Just shoot from your chest.

[Brett]

She'll get easier shots now that Caitlyn's dishing the ball.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's going to open it up for. If you want to talk about basketball and that. You can go down the hall Because I'm not interested in actually breaking down the W. Wait for the opening. I'm just saying I'll watch a quarter of her running around and once she gets, you know, once she needs a blow, sits on the bench. I know. Then I'm going to go back to what like men do and not watch the wnba much like a cooking show or something over that. Be more manly. Anyway, Big. That was tragic. And then of course the other basketball news is that Luka Doncic got traded for the eyebrow over in Los Angeles, which tells me, yeah, street clothes goes to Dallas, just got super scary. And then Fox gets out of. He's gone from Sacramento and goes over to San Antonio and the Suns are floundering while these superstars are getting bounced around. I still think LeBron James and his son, who my friend Reggie has nicknamed Scooby and Scrappy, and I think that's brilliant. I think Scooby and Scrappy are on the block. I think they're going to get shot. And my fear is the Suns are interested. I fear it beyond belief. I fear it. Somebody will pick up LeBron because LeBron's. LeBron and Luke aren't going to. That's not going to work. That's just not because of personalities. The same player. You can't. They're going to diminish each other, to cancel each other out. You'll get points. The rest team's not going to do anything. These guys, you know, between the two of them, it's 39 and nine every night. So you get 60, 18 and 18 from two guys. And the rest of the team's just like, when do we get a chance? You get. Lakers aren't done yet. And my fear is the Suns are like, oh, LeBron, eh.

[Brady]

I think LeBron's ego would allow him to come to Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Over LA. Talked about it. I think the Clippers will be the team that's. Clippers are Golden State. Those would be the high and marquee teams.

[Brady]

Got to sit with a big market. You know, like I just.

[John Holmberg]

Phoenix is a big basketball thing now. I know, but it would be. It would be different. Some owner is going to sit and go. I'll take the marketing dollars. This is a good. This is a good move for my team. That's not going anywhere and the Suns are that team. It keeps people interested while they try to figure out what the hell they're doing next year. But I, you know, you don't have much to trade outside of. Maybe you'd have to give Kevin Durant Away. But I. I think that LeBron is on the block, and he's. My son. Had to come along too, like. And we know we're getting scrappy with that deal. We understand.

[Brett]

We'll head back to Cleveland.

[John Holmberg]

Pack your bags, boy. They're kicking us out.

[LaDonna]

Oh, Dad, I just thought. We gotta move. Yeah, but I want my friends here.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry, Bronnie, you gotta come with your daddy. Nobody wants you here without your daddy. You know, how fast would Bronnie get cut if LeBron got traded without him?

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it would be like seven seconds after they said, We've traded LeBron James. And of course, you don't know. That means that son doesn't have a job anymore. It's ridiculous we even allowed that to happen. So as basketball had a. It was a big weekend for basketball. Big one all the way around. And the biggest news for me, at least locally, is Sophie. Sophie. Oh, Otis comes up with a great idea. You know, John, when the news gets goofy, they always show that one vendor that has flags. They sell flags. We need one of those guys parked right outside the Phoenix Open those weird. You know, you get, like, a Mexican flag, an American flag, and there is that SS1 that you kind of see snuck into the back there. It's like, oh, he sells flags from everything. We need one of those guys. And, you know, you're out there and more than likely listening to us. Or can I act? So get your flag operation popped up somewhere near cameras. I'm not saying prominently display the Third Reich stuff. Have it in there. Make people question, like, is that Maryland? And then what's that red and black one? Have people from Albany wondering, and everybody's in on it. Don't poo poo this. We all know it's not real cops. And everybody's like, news, don't get on this. Just show it. And never mention it. Just show it to the east.

[Brett]

It's Rock Ridge.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is our Rock Ridge. We all are in on it together. I know black people and Jewish people and all that. Don't get upset at the idea of the Confederate flag. We're doing it to keep weirdos out. We have to sometimes take great measures to understand we're all in this together. Then afterwards, we'll slap high fives and get back to having a great city without anybody knowing about it. You don't want buffalo coming here. You certainly don't want California coming here. So let's do it right and start flashing those Confederate flags around. Uh, oh, Toledo's got something you have the horn for me. Oh, baby, a lot more of this. You got a car that makes that noise, please drive it around. When you see old men in Tommy Bahamas with a martini glass on their back, with a lady with gray hair, no wrinkles on her face, but her neck looks like it's been burned, honk at them.

[Brady]

Seems like the Shana truck's pulling up outside.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we need a lot of those, too. Yeah. Keep Arizona beautiful by keeping all these weirdos out they can visit. That was the whole design of this place. Visitors, summer does its job, burns them out of here. But this February thing, it's. It's too beautiful. Too beautiful. That noise is fantastic. And then right on the heels of it, you get a key. Get that floating around. The Phoenix Open. Suddenly, folks are just watching in Albany. Remember we used to go to that before, you know, they took over. And think about it. Minorities. You're keeping out old white people. That's your goal. That's great. And all you have to do is flash some Confederate flags around, start blowing these horn. Oh, the Phoenix Open. Had this going on all day. So long, Buffalo.

[Brady]

The Thunderbirds doing.

[John Holmberg]

You're killing them. Move, homo. Nice. Cold. And they're like, oh, geez, I'm not gonna do it because I get fired for that.

[Brady]

What is he, Tommy Bahama?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Yeah, that guy got a what is on his back there. It's hilarious. Hey, essay me. Honey, hold your purse real, real tight. They're talking to us. Hola. Como esta usted? What's on your back, player? Is it a martini? Yes, it is. It's a Tommy Bahama.

[Brett]

It's a knockoff. They'll have that out already.

[LaDonna]

I didn't know homosexuals live that long.

[Brett]

Later.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona' change, Tony. It's time to go. Boy, that Trump's right. Immigration's gotten out of control. Gotta make him think that we're flooded with crazy.

[Brady]

Someone said we need to put Katie Hobbs in a big white Cadillac and be boss Hobbs.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, that kind of stuff. But no, we won't move in here like crazy. It's nuts. But it is going to be a beautiful week. So put it on tv. That's the last thing we need to do, is advertise this place. Well, I've changed my tune on that in the last decade. We're full. We are full. We don't need your terrible, nutty ideas rolling in here from California and the Midwest and then clashing the California liberals and those old Midwestern whites banging into each other here. Keeps Everything nuts. Although it does keep us purple. And that's great for media advice. Election. We had a great year last year because of election year. A great year because being purple. Remember all those ads? Oh, yeah, we made a good portion of cash on those. Can't help it. They make us run them, which is even better. It's like you will take our money and you will run our ads. All right, you got it, Kamala. You're gonna lose. I don't care. I'm gonna spend a bajillion dollars there. All right, we'll eat that. Let's get a wake up song. Start this week off Phoenix open week properly. 585-9800. Give us a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 KUPT still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness online at 98 miles to nowhere, everybody. Thank you quite kindly, Miles to Nowhere for our amazing theme song for 2025. You can see them all over the valley by the way. They're pop up and do stuff constantly. Guy says good morning sickness. Yes, you're a misogynist and a bigot and a lot of other things. You're an equal opportunity offender. And it's funny because it's true. Last week I laughed so hard at RuPaul and her crew up in that tower. And of course, Justin Tugger. God, that's still just even reading those words. I get so happy thinking about another Baltimore raven in tears. When you guys were going off on Sex robots, my. My 18 year old daughter came to me and told me that she was going to see the movie the Companion. I was still listening to your Sex Robots. I find out it's a group of young adults who go to a cabin for the weekend and one of them has brought a companion robot. Anyways, one star reviews can obviously speak for themselves and solve their own problems. But don't see pouring the bruise for the puppers. Leslie? Yeah, the Companion is a, you know, it's the tester for people say, well, you guys watch anything about the naked ladies and fake robot? It's science fiction. Always tells us what's going to happen later and whether we're comfortable with it or not.

[Brady]

So look at the Terminator.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly, exactly. And oh, look at, you know, space. Was it 2001?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The whole thing was about artificial intelligence. Can't unplug it. And they've been telling us about this stuff for years. There's an actual phrase for it, and I don't remember what it is, but it's a term where you're introduced to a concept that's so far fetched through art or film or books or whatever. And then when it finally happens, you're like, oh, yeah, I know about that. So it doesn't surprise you if the.

[Brett]

Manchurian's happened a lot over the years?

[John Holmberg]

Well, if the Manchurian Candidate just occurred in real life, we wouldn't. But it makes sense to us because, oh, this is. We've already dealt with this once or I've seen this in movies, so it doesn't seem crazy. They actually have like a phrase for it. I can't remember what it is, but so, yeah, that's, you know, we'll start seeing a lot more sex robot ideas and we've seen a few. She was a great movie about artificial intelligence girlfriends and how it screws with guys. The. The real doll was a thing a while ago. It didn't interact, but it was just a sex doll that looked like a human being. The guy considered it his girlfriend took it to family events and stuff. Yeah, they'll indoctrinate you though. They'll introduce the ideas. All the emails coming in are like, my God, Sophie was traded. Now my fries receipt is worthless again. That's true. You're gonna get tickets for WNBA game to go. Actually watch the Mercury play without Sophie Cunningham. And that all that is to me is a fries receipt. This one says, Caitlin Clark just dropped the charges against her stalker because she's always the one that wanted all the attention. Now that's ruined. And how about that guy Brian Doyle, the one that got in trouble for telling Caitlin Clark, hey, I hope to be following you for a while. And everybody's like, creepy weirdo. So he put out a post that said, welcome Sophie with two thumbs ups. And he was hung in the town square. You're not allowed to quartered. Hey, Sophie, welcome to Indianapolis. Can't wait to cover you in a thumbs up. And they're like, ah, he clearly means to put those thumbs in Sophie. Let's kill him. And they did. They. You're not allowed to like any of the WNBA players because if you do, they get mad. Especially if you're like, God, you're also attractive. Oh, that's not why we're here.

[Brett]

If you're a man for sure.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if you're a woman, it's amazing. You're supposed to, but. But they don't do that crap. Deep down, they're mad at Sophie because she's a traitor. She likes that deep. They're not eyeballing her. They like the ones like Diana Taurasi, the ones that they get. Diana Taurasi is sort of the lesbian Taylor Swift to the wnba because they look at her and go, I could pull that out of a bar. They're not intimidated by her physically at all.

[Brady]

Why would you want to?

[John Holmberg]

No, I know. Look, I don't understand anything about that lifestyle. I don't understand why you're a girl who wants to be with other girls, but you want one that looks like a boy. None of it. I've talked to lesbians about this. I'm like, how come you don't like men, but you like your women to look like them?

[Brady]

Did you ever get an answer?

[John Holmberg]

They can't answer it. I've not had one answer it. They just laugh. Buy me another Modelo in my car ride. I like you, Neil. You're funny. If you were a woman, I'd bang you.

[LaDonna]

Yeah, I know.

[John Holmberg]

Cause I look like what you like. It's strange, isn't it? It's just the dick, then. No, no, no. I'm like, I don't understand.

[Brady]

And they don't either, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't. They just go with what they like. You know, you like what you like. There's a very strange kind of juxtaposition of. Ugh, dudes. Oh, geez. That one looks like Justin Bieber. I think I like her. I don't understand it. It doesn't make sense to me. Speaking of lesbianism and stuff, Watched the Grammys last night, and they snuck in a few. Here's the thing about the Grammys, and nobody watched it. The. These shows don't get any ratings at all anymore. My theory is Trevor Noah is human Ambien. Amazing. Oh, it's amazing. He's the South African Jimmy Fallon.

[Brett]

Pretty quick.

[John Holmberg]

He's Jimmy Fallon of South Africa. You just. Amazing. What a great performance. What a great performance. Amazing. Like, all right, not everything's been great so far, Especially when Janelle Monae tried to do Michael Jackson stuff that was absolutely terrible.

[Brady]

I literally forgot it was on. Like, this morning I woke up and got. Oh, Beyonce. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Most of America doesn't watch them, but last night there they. You know, they had Chapel, Roan, and Lady Gaga, and there's a lot of gay. Like, they're still, like, grabbing hold of that thing. And then the one that I really like, Doji, she was up there and she said something about being inspirational to. I just hope someday out there, there's a young African American girl that sees me winning this Grammy and thinks to herself, it is possible. So when people tell you you can't do it because you're black and whatever, and I looked around that room and I'm like, I don't think that's happening anymore. I'm not so sure. There's record executives going, what a catchy tune. It's not one of those blacks, is it? Yes, sir, it is. It's a black woman singing. Yeah. And they just hang up immediately. I'm pretty sure the record industry is not one of these black people entertaining me with song and dance. It's never been. That's never been a thing. So I didn't understand like that ham handed approach to basically say that the record industry is racist and they don't.

[Brett]

Take care of the artists.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was the thing that Chapel Roan said. And they clapped like crazy. She went up and gave her speech about how they don't have health insurance for people after like a record company signed someone. She got signed when she was really young and she's like. And they didn't have health insurance for me. So when I was initially kind of launched back into the world after I lost my first record deal, I didn't have health insurance or job skills. And I'm like, that used to be called suffering for your art. That used to be like. And then Trevor Noah was like, amazing, what a great speech. I'm like, was it because as a comedian, do you expect the comedy clubs to pay your health care if you don't make it? Cause that's essentially what you're saying. I got signed, it didn't work out, they bumped me.

[Brett]

You need to give us a fair wage.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what? A fair wage. You need to make good music. That's not. Yeah, that's not. The whole point of being in music is that the struggle is that if they're paying you to not make money, that's bad business, I thought. And the whole place stood up and people were crying like, what? You don't get health insurance and a fair wage if you're not making any cash. That's the whole point. They signed me to a record deal and they didn't give me anything. And then I didn't have any job skills. I'm like, yeah, because you went in. And when I started in radio, I didn't have health insurance because I was part time and I had to bust my ass to do something about it. And there were other people who left because they didn't have health insurance. Like, I can't do this anymore. I'm like, I get it, but not everybody's just gonna hand you stuff just because you got hired. Besides that, you were 16. Didn't your parents have health insurance?

[Brett]

I'm an actor. I don't have any jobs right now.

[John Holmberg]

I need health insurance. Well, if you get sagging, you get insurance, which is pretty solid. And I think that's what they're complaining about, is that all you have to do is be a member of the union and get a job or two. Yeah, you do. But they can do that. It's better than paying for health insurance. But she started saying, I was 16 when I got signed. I'm like, then your mom and dad had health insurance.

[LaDonna]

You're good.

[John Holmberg]

You were covered. I didn't have a backup plan. None of this is anybody's fault but yours. And here you are winning a Grammy. I think it's. I think you're okay. And then I started. And then they had Chaperone do her. Her live performance to the Pink Pony Club. Catchy song. Not a big fan of hers.

[Brett]

That's the first time I've heard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Brett]

Chappelle Roan.

[John Holmberg]

And she's good. Yeah, but she's annoying. Like, she looks like Boy George if he exploded in a Sephora. So she's crawling around like she's gonna perform oral sex on the female guitarist. A lot of the. She's very gay. She likes being really out out there. Gay. And then I realized that women have pretty much. Lady Gaga went up and said that transgender people aren't invisible. And, like, no, they're not. They're super visible. They're hilarious a lot of the times and that we can't do. And so the, you know, the easy. The easy applause lines of, like, don't discriminate. And everybody. Everybody's voice should be heard. And it's like, yeah, you're like the ninth gay person I've seen on this stage. I think this industry is, like, awesome support for you guys. And then I realized why so many women. Janelle Monae, Chappelle Roan, Billie Eilish, they're tons of Shakira. I don't think she's a lesbian. I'm saying lesbians, though, all these lesbians that are in the music industry, that kind of women are taking over music, and it's because they finally figured out what men have been doing for years. You start boning lots of ladies, and you can start writing great songs. All of them performed, like, dirty slut lady on lady sex acts on stage. And I'm like, there you go. This is what men have been doing for years. Pretending to, you know, perform oral sex on a chick on stage. And everybody, oh man, that Led Zeppelin's cool. Now the ladies are doing it. They're getting all the attention. That's the key to music evidently, is cunnilingus. I think that's. I think that's what we're looking at for hit song Pink Pony Club. Meh. Okay. As I watched the Grammys, I realized something. And also, oh, by the way, all I heard about was inclusion and love and not discriminating and treating each other with respect. Record of the year Song of the year Ain't Like Us by Kendrick Lamar. Which a good portion of it is just telling Drake that he's a pedophile and he's gonna get sued for that. Drake is suing him for millions. Because the whole thing is just this hatred towards Drake. It has the N word in it about 145 times. And they're like, inclusion, don't cast people out by their race. And oh, Record of the year. Kendrick Lamar ain't like us. That song is like the meanest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[Brady]

It's a catchy song.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's catchy, catchy. But you know the part where he goes, better do it A minor. I'm like, it's talking about Drake banging young girls by name. It mentions Drake saying, hey, if he dates your sister, watch out for your younger sister because he'll probably her too. It's all just an accusation that Drake bangs young girls. Song of the year, Record of the year on inclusion night. And everybody's voice needs to be heard and don't be a racist. And I'm like, I. I'm very confused by is a catchy tune. Yeah, I didn't like it when I first heard it because I first heard it yesterday.

[Brady]

Oh, that's the first time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I listened and I'm like, this is pretty much garbage. And then the next time I threw him, like, not so bad. And then I listened again a third time and I'm like, I kind of like this. And the reason I like it, I'm waiting for Drake's follow up rebuttal. Yeah, there's going to be the debate of music, but it wasn't kind or inclusive or friendly. Like the whole night tried to be. The other thing they did last night was raise money for the fires in la, which is nice, but it is awfully Hard to look at Dr. Dre billion dollars, Taylor Swift billion dollars, Jay Z, Beyonce billion dollars and have them beg us for money. It was like when I went to that thing when Jerry Colangelo was asking for donations for the hall of Fame for basketball, and I sat with, you know, Tom Chambers was there, all these, you know, NBA players and all this stuff. And I'm like, how come none of them are raising their hand? Why are these dudes from the NBA not supporting the hall of Fame? And I'm gonna kick in. I'll do it. But Jerry has enough money to make this thing float. And he's standing next to John Calipari and a couple other super basketball names are like, we really need your help. I'm like, I don't know that you do. I'm pretty sure you guys got this. Why do I have to bid on a trip to Italy that's worth 5,000 dol bucks? And you're starting it at 10,000 in the auction. I'll get that on my own. I don't plan on visiting the hall of Fame that much, but it's not.

[Brett]

A write off, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if I get. It's true. If I. That's fine. If I get the $10,000 trip to Italy through your auction, that's only worth $5,000, do I get a lifetime pass to his hall of Fame for keeping it alive a little bit? Because I didn't see Tom Chambers hand go up. You know who end up buying the trip to Italy? Jerry Colangelo.

[Brady]

He got his own trip.

[John Holmberg]

No one bid on it. People don't like billionaires asking them for money. I don't care.

[Brady]

I don't blame them.

[John Holmberg]

And that isn't one of those, you know. You know, I'm. I hate money kind of thing. It's just one of the. It's hard for billionaire to go, I need you. I need your help. And I'm like, I need your help.

[Brett]

But I'll give it to Trevor Noah.

[John Holmberg]

He.

[Brett]

He was pressuring the corporate corporations up and hiring the music industry. There's a lot of companies here attending. And also you guys here at the.

[John Holmberg]

Table, all the stars kick in.

[Brett]

Here's the we out at the table.

[John Holmberg]

I also had a problem donate with that. It was just theirs in the past, you know. Well, just even in the recent past, there's still. There's still South Carolina and North Carolina and parts of Georgia and Florida. They got smashed by that hurricane that nobody's given a penny to outside of, you know, taxes and Red Cross and Emergency relief. They didn't really. They weren't going to do that unless their. Their house started on fire. So. Los Angeles getting saved by Los Angeles. Okay, I get that, and I'm fine with donating the money, but it does come across a little bit like we're the only ones who have ever had a problem. There's a lot of stuff going on, and I've never seen the Grammys go that hard on raising money for anything. They'll occasionally bring up charities and stuff, but every break, don't forget the QR code that's in the corner of your screen. You viewing tonight need to give back so we can help out la. And I'm all for helping out L. A, but I got. I got $6 billion on five different camera shots. What are they kicking? Let me know they're in on this, too. Give me a. Give me a. Have Taylor raise her hand and go, trevor, over here and say, I'm gonna give $100 million to this. Like, holy crap. Dr. Dre loves Los Angeles up and down. Have him kick in and go, I'm gonna give 50 million tonight. Oh, that would be motivation.

[Brett]

The public, they. They throw out a number that the viewing audience donated last night. What do you think that was?

[John Holmberg]

Brett, how much do you think the entire viewing audience of the Grammys being hounded all night long to please give to the LA fires? 10 mil, thereabouts. Not bad. Nice.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And you think music's biggest night? 7 million.

[Brett]

And he kept mentioning companies that were donating, but, John, you made the point that they're not going to say that amount because they want to wait until they get more recognition for it.

[John Holmberg]

They want individual recognition when. If Dr. Dre gives 50 million, he wants people to know Dr. Dre gave 50 million, as he should.

[Brady]

That's 50 million. You know, that kind of money.

[John Holmberg]

But they're not doing that anonymously. They're doing that for their own gains later. But really, what a great guy.

[Brett]

They could have taken time for as much as they're using to donate every break. Yeah, why not throw that in? Hey, Dr. Dre just threw in 5 million. Now, the other people at the table, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, it would have been huge. But you don't want to put that. It's not for them to give. That was their night. Celebrate Kendrick Lamar calling drake a pedophile 300 times in a song and give him a word. I loved it. Here's another thing I don't like. I'm 52 years old. Brady just turned 60 on Saturday old men. At this point in my life, I should watch the Grammys and say, ah, turn that rickety nonsense down. Yuck. Instead, I'm like, where's the energy? Like, nothing about music today makes me feel like, Jesus, they've taken it to another level. And if anything, it's gotten more boring and backwards. The thing I liked the most, the one that Dochi won her award, and it sounded like an old salt and pepper or Missy Elliott type. So it was like a throwback rap. Everything's so sleepy and kind of, like, done before. They act like they're inventing new things. When Chapel Roan's crawling around on the stage with her ass out, acting like she's gonna perform, it's the same package. Well, she's acting like she's gonna perform oral sex on one of her. And I'm like this. Like, MTV did this in 1991. Like, and then the late 90s when they lost their minds, when Madonna and, you know, Christina Aguilera and they made out, like, oh, my God. And now it's like, you guys aren't breaking new ground. Your music is boring. Where's the. Where's the old man? Turn it down. Music that doesn't exist. And my dad used to go, turn this garbage off. It's just noise. I wanted that. I wanted that to be my natural progression into old man. And I'm just like, turn it up. Well, I mean, let's go.

[Brady]

You look at it, we're a rock station. So I'm just looking at the rock categories here, and they're. They're right up here. The Beatles won best Rock Performance.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, it's. Yeah. I mean, it's the Grammys. Every time anybody turns to the Grammys.

[Brady]

For Rock Album of the year was the Rolling Stones.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they. They don't understand and never have. And by the way, to all of us who sit back and go to Grammy, rock has never been a part of it. It's. It's pop. It's a pop music festival. And the reason is.

[Brett]

And they've rotated the audience, the 13, 000 people that vote. The President was saying, we put a whole new crop in there.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine.

[Brett]

Got rid of the boomers, basically.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they don't understand what rock music is, so it's just familiarity at that point.

[Brady]

That's rock song Broken man by Annie Clark. I don't even know who that is.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard.

[Brady]

I've never heard that song.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is. Yeah, Rock music in The Grammys. That's. That's something, you know, that nobody even needs to look into. They don't even televise it. It might as well be best foreign language album. Yeah, it's. But still, where is the. Where is the old man in me to scream this garbage?

[LaDonna]

Turn it down.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. It's a cacophony of crap.

[Brady]

Well, I think that's the Chapel Roan stuff now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it is. It's just pop music. But it's the same pop music I listened to when I was younger. It's like, I understood when my dad was like, what in the hell is going on with Boy George? And, like, this. Like, he saw stuff and he's like, no, what is it? Beach Boys and Fabian and, like, it was all clean. Now it's just. It's just the same. It's. Nothing is new. There's no uniqueness to modern music. Kendrick Lamar calling a rival a pedophile, I guess is kind of cool. But that's been going on for 40 years now. That's not. You know, I think Easy E and the boys in NWA started all that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't make sense to me that as old people, we don't hear it and just go, ah, these kids today with it. It's all sleepy. It's not too loud. It's not over the top. It's not too fast. My dad watching, you know, Poison and. And seeing albums that I had, I'm.

[LaDonna]

Like, it's just a bunch of dudes dressed as ladies.

[John Holmberg]

The hell's going on here? And then he'd worry the boy gays, like, watching this TV channel where all the boys look like ladies.

[Brett]

They're gorgeous.

[John Holmberg]

And I mean, Twisted Sister. And he couldn't. He couldn't look at TV. Good God, what's. And he was in his 30s. The hell's going on? I'm 50, and I want these kids to turn it up a notch. You guys aren't. You're. You're slowing it down. Way too much folk music. What the hell is Ranganugan? What was that one band?

[Brett]

I have no idea.

[John Holmberg]

They were best new artists, didn't get introduced. The sleepiest I've ever heard.

[Brett]

It went right from the commercial to.

[John Holmberg]

Them and Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars singing ballads. I felt like I was watching Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, only in, like, some sort of weird bizarro world. It's just. It's just a really boring time for all music because it's just this homogenized. We've Done this cookie cutter crap. And there's like two artists and everybody's good. They can sing, great singers. Nobody's doing anything special. And I don't know, there's like, there's no. There's no movement in music that makes you think, like, Taylor Swift is the best thing of all time. Beyonce, I guess she's good. I don't know. It seems a little bit like that whole thing. And I know nobody watches the Grammys anymore because you don't want to hear. You don't want to sit there and have your person of their favorite song tell you that, you know you voted wrong. Or, like, the last thing I want is them talking to me about their feelings. And I don't care. That's what your music's for. You're supposed to sing about that. Don't go up on stage and tell me that you know you hate me. Like, I like your music. And I don't like you, though, because you think different than me. Like, oh. Because that's essentially what happens. I don't like Lady Gaga. And whoever did Lady Gaga's hair last night, I want to thank them for. And you know who else should thank them? The family of the artist who did Lady Gaga's hair last night. Because I don't think Marilyn Manson uses that person anymore. So they got a job again making her look exactly like Brian Warner, only she thought it was a beautiful look. Whereas at least Marilyn Manson had the decency to say, I'm gonna scare people. She's wandering around like, this is a hot. Like, nope, it's terrible. You look crazy. And Bruno and Gaga had a song. Boring. It's fine. Good singers, they can sing, but boring. It's just I wanted to be an older man screaming at kids to turn it down. And I'm actually saying, will you turn something up? Pick up the pace here, guys. Because it's a whole generation of people who've been on Xanax since they were five, and it's starting to show. That's. Look up the new best new artist category. Ranganugan never heard, but one of them looked like when the Flintstones had a rock band and they had that weird hair that went like the dude in the band.

[Brett]

I'm like, the way outs.

[John Holmberg]

Or no, I don't know which one it was, but they just had the hair. The hair was like the. Straight across their eyes and real long in the back and just looked terribly stupid. Hanger Nugent. I wasn't sure what hanger. Hanger Ranger. Hanging. I forgot what they were called. There it is. Cargo Rugan. Cargo. Cargo Karangan Karigabin. Play a song by that band.

[Brady]

I gotta copy and paste that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because you're not gonna even know how to pronounce. Knows how to say it. That's the word. Like, who's. Yeah. Who's helping them with marketing that? It's a naming here. This is. This is their sleepy crap.

[Brady]

I don't even know just the top one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, whatever they got, like, it is sleepy. Like sushi. Like a weird sushi restaurant. Background music definitely getting Tom Burg Nessner.

[Brady]

The hell is this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is the best new art. This is what they got coming up. The pipe. Frank. Frank again.

[Brady]

This is instrumental.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't sound.

[Brett]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Does this sound new to you?

[Brady]

No, it sounds like seven. It sounds like a theme for a TV. 70s TV show.

[John Holmberg]

I halfway expect Isaac Hayes to show up.

[Brady]

Yeah. It's like the sequel to Beretta or something from back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

It was the spin off from Beretta called the Parrot. Yeah, that's. That's like, where's my. Where's my moment to scream? Turn it down. Turn that crap down. The only reason I'm telling you to turn it down is because it's boring. I want to be offended by music. I don't want it to bore me.

[Brady]

Who's Doshi or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

No, do she. She's actually good. She's like a throwback. Like, she raps like it's 1992. Oh, that's cool. She was good.

[Brady]

Benson Boone.

[John Holmberg]

Benson Boone is some. He looks like a pedophile in somebody's gymnastics tights. He does a lot of flips.

[LaDonna]

Man.

[Brett]

Did he flip.

[John Holmberg]

He does some flips, but still, he's dressed like. I don't know what. I wouldn't even put him that. Matthew McConaughey is clearly a heterosexual male. This dude's pants. J.

[Brett]

Lo was sitting at his table.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No way that he's got that. It was weird. But he. I guess he was on American Idol and he had a huge hit this year. Benson Boone. He used to dress normal, and now he's in. He went to Elton John's garage sale and picked up a few tights from the 70s.

[Brady]

He looks normal in that picture.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, he's that. When he first came out, he was completely beautiful. Things as his song. You know this. But again, I recall everything is so boring. And I see my fan, like, you're not offended when your kids play this in their room? You just think, oh, my Kid's boring, I'm thinking.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, that's been going on for.

[John Holmberg]

Like, since the Xanax kids grew up. We had stuff that made our parents mad. This is stuff you can. This is the other problem is moms and kids wanting to be friends. You shouldn't like your kid's music. In fact, you shouldn't, and you certainly shouldn't be bored by it.

[Brady]

Kirk Veslie hated my music.

[John Holmberg]

Of course he did. That's the natural progression. When Your dad turns 40, looks at you and goes, ugh, these queers flitting around there with their dumb flying V guitars. You're an idiot. And he was right. She looked back at all that stuff and like, Jesus, that stuff was garbage. He wasn't wrong. Flock of Seagulls. There's always supposed to be something that makes. And I guess when Benson Boone does his I'm in the tightest pants you've ever seen flips off of pianos. Some dads were like, ugh, what the.

[Brady]

Hell do you do flip off a piano than that?

[John Holmberg]

He has a poppier. Yeah. Anyway, the big star of the whole thing last night was Kanye west, who didn't even get to go into the Grammys. But that wife of his island, she's special. She's an angel. That Bianca, Sensory. If you haven't paid attention, just open your Internet feed today. You'll find a picture of her. She decided to show up to a Grammys red carpet event. Did not get into the Grammys because Connie's not allowed in anymore.

[Brett]

No, that they're saying. That's not true. He was there. They just walked the red carpet and left.

[John Holmberg]

He's not. He's not getting a table at the Grammys anymore. He's allowed to go, but he's not getting the. He's not getting the treatment. So Kanye leaves because he's like, I'm gonna make a statement. But the truth of the matter is, Kanye gets to sit with us. He ain't doing that. He doesn't get that Kanye up because they can't trust him. If Taylor Swift beats Beyonce for album of the year, he's going up there and he's got a naked lady with him. So Bianca showed up last night in a. In a fur coat. And he gets out of the car, and you're like, oh, Bianca's all covered up. And then they just drops the coach. She's got nothing on. Absolutely nothing on, like, a sheer nothing. And that's just to say, I've got clothes. Right? That's what I'M saying, yeah, it is see through and not see through. It is transparent. Vagina, boobies, nipples. And she's walking around taking pictures. Everything. Well, all right. Bianca's naked, and we're not even. A thong. Good, too. Looks great. Looks really good. Holmberg's morning sickness. And deep down, every guy's sitting there thinking, that's what I need to walk around the house too.

[Brady]

Yeah, look at them sweats over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, look at that. Cheetos on her fingers crushing a quesadilla that we got through doordash. It's all over her hair, and she's the one going, what a slut. Yeah, that's right. Ooh, who would want that? But Kanye has this lady brainwashed. I mean, how do you find her? How do you. What do you like to do with your free time?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[LaDonna]

Walk around naked in public.

[John Holmberg]

Marry me. Yeah, they did. And she does it.

[Brady]

He's the most exciting part of the Grammys without question.

[John Holmberg]

You know, love him or hate him, he's the only one like, what's going on with. And I'm looking every time. I'm like, Kanye's. Kanye's wife gonna show up in anything. And last night, nope, here's my vagina.

[Brett]

What other ones are just doing, you know, some cleavage. A lot of dresses that are. It looks like the thing could fall down. It's just out there.

[John Holmberg]

That's been going forever.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The nudity just flat out shown up to an event with nothing on. That's new. And this generation also sucks because they're mad at Trevor Noah for being too controversial last night. I'm like, that dude is as controversial as a glass of water.

[Brett]

About what?

[John Holmberg]

Well, his jokes were way out of line, Brady. Way out of line. He said that the Grammy winners were voted on by the Grammy voting recording Academy, which is 13,000 members, and also 20 million illegals get to vote as well. Oh. Oh, big laughs. I thought, why bring that in? No, no, big laughs. Dochi rolled her eyes, and the Internet noticed. And then he said, shakira is also here tonight, and she's the greatest thing out of Colombia. That's not a felony. Oh, that's racist. It's a racist. The Colombians. Colombians are known for more than just cocaine. Here, take a second and name it. Nope. Nothing else comes to mind.

[Brett]

Coffee.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I'll give you that. Juan Valdez. Nice. Cocaine is next, but usually in the coffee, a couple kilos packed into each thing slung over Juan's donkey as they walk it out of the mountains, and then it was too far because he even made a joke about himself. Says there's few changes in Washington. So I'm gonna enjoy tonight. It's probably my last time I get to host anything in this country. And everybody. Well, that's enough of you. Trevor Noah. Your illegal immigrant comment. Poor taste. Even Dochi rolled her eyes. Next one says, Trevor Noah already with illegal immigrants. We're 20. We're 20 minutes into the show. It's gonna be a long night. Shakira is the only thing that came out of Columbia that's not a class A felony. Really, bro? That's comedy to you.

[Brady]

I'll name something else other than Juan Valdez.

[John Holmberg]

I. I actually don't think Trevor Noah's funny at all. And I'm like, that's a good one.

[Brady]

Trevor Noah is the modern day white braid white Wayne Brady.

[John Holmberg]

He is Wayne Brady. Looks like Dave Chappelle compared to Trevor. No. What did Trevor Noah mean with those immigrant jokes? It's not landing. Yeah, bro. This one says, obsessed with how unfunny. Obsessed with how unfunny Chappelle Roan thinks Trevor Noah is. Love it. Why did Trevor Noah need to say 20 million illegal immigrants are voting at the Grammys? Pretty damn stupid. Signed Patricia Guadalupe. Trevor Noah just pissed me off with that Columbia joke. Read the effing room, jerk. So this group of inclusive, loving people that all are, you know, all about making sure that nobody boy get them on the Internet and they hear something they don't like, they will that person up. Trevor Noah's too controversial for you. You've got to ha every single day you're alive.

[Brett]

Columbia is a great college.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Right? I. I don't know who you are. That thought Trevor knows. A little over the top tonight. And this is. You're. You're not gonna make it through the afternoon. Says Grammys are great. Nothing like seeing someone saying, except everyone. As long as you're thinking the exact same way as him. That's exactly right. Perfect. Except everyone. Everyone. Don't judge. Let everyone in your life. Unless, of course, they have thoughts that disagree with you, then, you know, charge them out and try to get them fired from their jobs. And if they slip up, even if they are on your side and they slip up a little bit, say something you don't like and that stick in your ass starts to vibrate. Get them fired, they can never work again. But they did try that again. I noticed at the Golden Globes, Hollywood kind of understood that maybe this whole preachy thing wasn't gonna fly anymore. Grammy's trying to slip it back in a little. It's gonna get worse because they have a guy to hate. And that's what they really love doing over there in the entertainment industry is hating. They're. They're. They're really good at that. They're good at telling you to love everything, but also hate rules the day because if they don't like something, boy, they let it know. But Trevor Noah being too controversial is a world I don't want to. Trevor Noah even pushes your buttons. Shakira is the best thing to come out of Columbia. That isn't a class A felony.

[Brady]

It's brilliant.

[John Holmberg]

It's a fact. There were no question about it. And here's the other thing. Unless you smuggled her in, she's legal. And the coffee, you can actually steal from Colombia, and that's like, against the rules. Shakira can float freely back and forth from the. She's worldwide. And Shakira, I don't know what kind of medicine she's on.

[Brett]

Keep getting younger.

[John Holmberg]

She looks like she's 13 now.

[Brett]

Reversing her.

[John Holmberg]

He's Benjamin Button of Columbia. And I'll say this. Trevor Noah's right. That cocaine keeps you young. But whatever she's doing now, she needs to give some of that Rangoon van because they're like 18 and they look like they're 60.

[Brett]

Yeah, the grand Young Beaver boys.

[John Holmberg]

Her kids. One was a girl. What, Ranganoon? Yeah, one of them was a girl.

[Brady]

There you go, old man.

[John Holmberg]

There's the moment I've been waiting on.

[Brett]

Shakira's kids.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you said no. Ranganoon is who I'm talking. I didn't see that. I don't care about the kids. I. I don't see kids. I'm like Haley Joel Osmond. I don't see your children, and I don't want to ever wait until they're adults. Then I can talk to them all, you know, I don't want to hang around your kids. It's weird. But yeah, Trevor Noah pissing people off is just. That's a. That's the world. Like, George Carlin would burst into flames if he ever heard that Trevor Noah was too controversial to host something. He's just too out there. What. What if Trevor Noah is too far? Who's going to host that thing? Caleb from Shriners? He's the only one left. Like, he's the only one that can't offend you, and he'll piss somebody off with a bone breaking Joke answer is nobody.

[Brett]

Nobody wins.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody can host Trevor. Noah pisses, and we bow down to the complainers. There's always people who are, you know, sticks up their ass. Humorless weirdos. And then the Internet gave them voice, and then they unite. Like, it used to be when you had a stick up your ass and you didn't like a joke at home, you just kind of barked at the walls or whoever was in your house. Now you go online and say, did anybody else get mad at that? And then a whole gaggle of people who are mad at it find you on Reddit, and now you feel like you've got some movement and it's a bunch of sticks up their asses. People. Doesn't make sense. Meanwhile, that's why. That's sort of why I'm starting to like Kanye a little bit. And then you go back to that Nazi thing. Yeah, yeah, Straight. But he's got that naked wife, and he's sharing her with us. Like, a lot of times you'll see a guy and his wife. You're like, I'd like to see his wife naked. But you're never gonna. Nick. Sometimes you'll see a guy with a hot wife, and she'll bend over and try to look down her shirt. You try to sneak a peek or something. Everybody's done it. But just imagine if, like, she just showed up naked, like, to dinner. I had dinner with Brady on Saturday. Like, nobody's wife showed up naked. Nobody. Nobody in the whole restaurant. We saw Mark Curtis. His wife was fully clothed. Like, sometimes you look at a guy like, man, that wife has Kanye. You're like, kanye's wife's pretty hot. Yeah, I've seen her vagina a lot.

[Brady]

So Vincent said I donate more if I get pictures of Bianca. Bianca.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, eventually he's going to let her touch. Like, we're going to be able to touch her. Her. Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, I can touch her. Yeah. All right.

[Brett]

Is that. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna touch her. Your wife's not wearing any clothes. You know that? Yeah. All right, Kanye. Thanks. Had a lot of friends, a lot of hot wives. Never once have I've seen the husband. Okay. With complete and total nudity at the stake 44, but I'm all in.

[Brett]

He kind of got in some hot water with tweets this weekend, too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's not stable. Clearly, his wife, and that's what it said.

[Brett]

So he must have been off the meds again.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that he's ever had meds. I don't know when Kanye was on the meds. Like, I don't know. I don't remember a time where, like, Kanye's really got it together right now. This seems sensible. Like, every time I've seen him, he's been bananas. He breaks up with Kim Kardashian, probably because she was dressed like Nanook compared to this one. I need a lady wears less clothes. Yeah. Less than Kim Kardashian. Yeah. All right, here's one. Looks like her, only nude. And he married her, and he's sharing her with us. So I got to give it to tip the cap to him. He's sharing her with us, which is very nice. Speaking of Nazis, I guess you saw that this weekend that UFC fighter Brian Mitchell says. Brian Mitchell, Bryce Mitchell. He had to apologize because this is always a bad moment in your life when your PR team comes to you and says, bryce, you're gonna have to apologize. That whole thing you said about how great Hitler was, people want to hear from you. It's like, you got to phone it in at that point. He basically says he knows how many people died in the Holocaust, and Hitler did a lot of evil things. That was his apologies. I realized that I'm not a Nazi. I don't condone what Hitler did. But earlier in the week, he said that Hitler was essentially just a good guy. You know, had a drug problem, got addicted to meth, and then wanted to purify Germany by kicking out greedy Jews, destroying his country, and turning everyone gay. That's a tough one to turn around. That's a tough one to go. Ah, you know, that was. I shouldn't have said that. Dana White said he was the dumbest person he's ever heard talk. But they're not going to fire him because somehow or another, that holds into the freedom of speech thing. You're allowed to say it, but there are no. There's. There could be repercussions. But again, my rule. And for those of you who want to argue his point, the second you type the Z in Nazi on your post, reconsider. In fact, computers should be. They should come equipped with. When you type the word Nazi, when you hit Send, it gives you an are you sure? Right. Like, some things, when you click on them, it says, are you sure delete all this. Yes. If the word Nazis and we have the technology to recognize when the word Nazi has been typed, you know, I'm sure of it. Whatever.

[Brett]

The autocorrect, just go right to Nazareth or.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because you can fix that. Something where the text itself is. Even the text got, hey, hey, hey. You sure about this? And then click yes and just go, are you over 18? Yes. Put people through the ringer when they're about to send out the word Nazi. It should be, we should have some stop gap in everyone's life. Because you could get drunk and fire off Nazi to somebody and realize the next day, that was terrible. And your phone should stop you. Two things phones should have. You shouldn't be allowed to use it. Your thumbs and your hands should. While they touch the phone should give you a blood alcohol reading that. We have technology for that. I'm sure, too. So while you're holding your phone, your BAC should register. And if it's over 0.1, you're not allowed to call anybody. You can't make a phone call. You can't make a text, and especially after midnight. So it's got a BAC on it. And it's like, you've been drinking and you're trying to text that girl that you. I'm gonna stop you for that. I'm gonna help you out. You're not making any phone calls or texts tonight at 1:00, your BAC is. You're legally drunk. I can't allow it. And then the Nazi thing. Naz. And when you hit the Z, your phone pops. Are you sure? Before you even finish the word. Ah, yes. I. Are you very sure? Yes. Yes. And that way, you have to jump through at least three or four hoops before you realize I probably shouldn't be saying the word Nazi should come with. I know this is ironic. A little flag.

[Brady]

Wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

It just pops up on your phone. I'm gonna send this to your boss. That's the other thing your phone should do. It should be a little rat. Sorry. Would you send this to your boss? No. Delete it. I'm helping you out, bro. Thanks. Phone. You're the word Hitler also involved in your text. The phone should go, are you sure? Did you proofread this? Are you sure? Yes. And then, people. Then there's no apologizing. Bryce Mitchell can't come back the next day and go, I don't know what I was doing. Like, no, no, no. The phone asks you if you mean this twice before you sent your Hitler Nazi tweets out. It asks you twice. That's true. So we're not gonna. Your apology kind of falls on deaf ears. You have to own this. So I think that's. You know, I'd probably be a billionaire if I could come up with a Nazi Hitler blocker. You got porn blocker for kids. You got dirty word blocker for kids. Nazi Hitler. Are you sure? For all of us? Because there's a time or two. Maybe the N word should get thrown in there, too, if you're gonna start bombing that one around harder.

[Brady]

Yeah. I was just gonna say, for comedy.

[John Holmberg]

Purposes, black people wouldn't live a day without making the A come up. I like when my black friends will knock that out to me every once in a while. And I. I even struggled to throw the haha sticker on there. I just let those go. I hope I laugh at home. Good one. Thanks, guys. Thanks for including me. Yeah. The two big N words. Your phone should probably stop you. I mean, they ask you what your ethnicity is when you get a phone on the little application. Right. If you're white, your phone automatically comes with that whole Nazi blocker thing and not saying you can't do it. Just giving you a couple little bumps there at the end. Positive about this. Yeah. Would you send this to your boss? Delete.

[Brett]

What if they just gave you a list check, you know, words that you.

[John Holmberg]

Wish your phone would stop you from.

[Brett]

Sending, and you can set it on the phone phrases.

[John Holmberg]

You're a C word, honey. Like, oh, geez, that's. To someone you care about. You can't do that. Yeah. Little. Little blocks that you get to check out. But I don't think people who like saying Nazi and Hitler are ever going to check those boxes. The phone company and. And, you know, just looking out for you should probably have the Nazi blocker on the phone. It just comes standard with all Apple iPhones. And it doesn't stop you. It just asks you. You meant this, right? The word Nazis in this. Are you good with that? Yes. Send. Okay. And then it should come up after you hit. Yes. Another little window should come up and go, it's your funeral. Like a friend with. All right, go ahead.

[Brady]

Good luck.

[John Holmberg]

Spew that out. Because if I started to scream out the window, Brady, I'm gonna say some things outside this window about Hitler being okay. You would stop him.

[LaDonna]

You sure you want to do this?

[John Holmberg]

I'm positive. Okay.

[LaDonna]

It's your funeral.

[John Holmberg]

And then I go outside and just shout to a crowd that I think Hitler's okay. That's. That's the.

[Brett]

If you're gonna do it, let's at least mic it up.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But you're gonna be there. I'm like. And if I told you, here's my plan. See that crowd of people out there? I'm gonna give them. I'm gonna scream my name. First of all, I'm gonna identify myself, and then I'm start shouting out how much I loved Hitler and how he wasn't such a bad idea. A good friend says, you sure about that? Get out of the way.

[LaDonna]

All right, I tried.

[John Holmberg]

That's all I'm asking. A decent person says, I'm gonna go out and scream to this crowd out loud after I identify myself and say my name a few times. And then put a picture up of me smiling at in Sedona. And then I'm gonna say something about Hitler being good, and then.

[LaDonna]

Are you sure about that?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you don't think I should?

[LaDonna]

I just need to cool off here, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe Brady's right. And that's all it is. The cooling off period for Nazi and Hitler. Test guy says, interesting to see if Elon's okay with this blocker. You're suggesting after his little salute. Yeah, no, there's. There's you. Any friend of Elon's would have said, you need to stop that wave. It's not what you think it is. Exactly. What? It doesn't matter what we think. What you're doing looks weird. Stop it. Especially, don't pound your heart first. You can't do it. And he could have had, like, he had his moments to say oops and just lay low. But then he went on about Hitler jokes and stuff like, oh, boy, Elon's autism's in again. Starting to roll out there on the spectrum and shout out the bad boys. All good ideas. Should have kept Sophie Cunningham Nazi blocker. And everyone needs a naked wife. That's it. Naked wife.

[Brady]

Morning sickness, solving the world's problems.

[John Holmberg]

Most of our wives won't even walk around the house dressed up in what Bianca Century walked around last night in. Like, I. I don't know if Matthia would just walk naked all day in the house. Probably not. Ask her. I'm going, what are you doing with all these clothes on? Kanye's wife doesn't wear clothes. And see, she gonna go put more clothes on.

[LaDonna]

Is that what you want? Just a naked sex slave?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You're making a lot of sense. Yeah, I think that is what I want. I've never heard it that way, but.

[Brett]

When do you start?

[Brady]

Well, is Megan gonna do that?

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's gonna do that. No. Only she's the first and only one that's ever done. It's it. No one's ever gonna do that. And ask him to do it. Ask. Go home today and say Ronnie, we.

[LaDonna]

Gotta live a little bit more like Kanye. I'm gonna need you to walk around this house. Son's clothes. What about Kirby? Bianca doesn't care. Kanye's got four kids. Let's unrobe here. Let's get it down. Disrobe, walk around, do some dishes or something.

[John Holmberg]

Problem is, most people don't want to see their wife walking around naked.

[Brady]

The gray sweats and the stained T shirt. Cheeto dust all over it.

[John Holmberg]

When's the last time you washed that thing? What's it to you? I don't know. Bianca doesn't have to do laundry.

[Brady]

I just sleep in it. Oh, God, I gotta sleep with you.

[John Holmberg]

Then why does your shirt smell like corn nuts?

[LaDonna]

That's my body smell.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Go wash that thing. Let's do a little Bianca. Get rid of that shirt and all the rest of your shirts and just walk around naked. And then of course, the woman would.

[LaDonna]

Go, why don't you walk around naked?

[John Holmberg]

Because you don't want that, Right? Well, you think you're welcome?

[Brett]

You just say the word.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll do it. You want me to walk around this house naked? Okay.

[LaDonna]

You're a pig.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. You knew that. When did you think I flipped a switch from pig to not a pig? I've always been a pig. Member the dude you had to fight off the first couple dates? That's still me. Remember the guy that wouldn't hug you because he had a boner from hugging you? Still there. Still that guy.

[Brett]

I still got some fighting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're all Rocky 6. I don't know, I think I still got a couple of rounds in me.

[LaDonna]

Put your pants on.

[John Holmberg]

That's all we'd hear if we. Bianca. Censoring around a little bit. Hello.

[LaDonna]

Go put your goddamn pants. It's disgusting. You have a zit on your ass.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you for pointing out everything. I hate you.

[LaDonna]

You should stop picking at it.

[John Holmberg]

What? I don't want it on the couch.

[LaDonna]

Oh, now your ass zits bleeding. Get in the bathroom, put some damn pants on.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's would be bad because he doesn't shower after a poo. So comes out with rust butt and plops that down on the couch. Everything's getting ruined.

[LaDonna]

Now I gotta bleach the cushions again. Thanks, Brady.

[Brett]

It's a brown couch.

[LaDonna]

It's the big whoop. So long as it doesn't stink. I'm Brady sensory. I walked the house nude, much to the delight of that wife of mine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, people always say it's about the kids, but Connie's got Four of them. Bianca. Well, I've seen her pull his kids out of a car like she's got him for the weekend. Kanye's not even there. Kim has to be miserable as Bianca. And, like, TMZ is catching her taking those kids places. Like, we went over to the Water World, and stepmom didn't wear any clothes. But it was fun. We had a fun day. It is hard to be the woman that made Kim Kardashian look like a nun compared to you. And Kim Kardashian, she's really reserved compared to Bianca Sensory. Because I've seen her over. It's unbelievable to make Kim Kardashian the buttoned up Mormon compared to your new wife. I don't know where you find one of those, but God damn it. Nudity around the house? Not such a bad idea. And think about it, ladies. No matter who your husband is and how fat or ugly or gross you've gotten, he still wants to see you naked, right? Absolutely. He's attracted to you. Take your clothes off. We should all have Bianca Sensory Day around the house. We should let this little angel have a holiday. Oh, honey. February 3rd. You know what that means.

[LaDonna]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

It's Bianca Sensory Day again.

[Brett]

You can wear this dress so long.

[John Holmberg]

As you don't have one of those Chatty Cathy strings hanging out of your body somewhere. I'd like to see you naked for the whole day. They would fake it. They would wear a tampon just to fake it.

[LaDonna]

Sorry, it kind of surprised me.

[John Holmberg]

You're 61 years old.

[LaDonna]

Yeah, just.

[John Holmberg]

I don't.

[LaDonna]

Took me by surprise.

[Brady]

It's three times this week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's all right. It's February. It's Bianca Sensory Month.

[LaDonna]

I'm having one of those heavy flows for 28 or more days.

[John Holmberg]

We can push it into March. Yeah, imagine if a woman said that. I want you to go to this dinner totally nude, and then afterwards, we're gonna have sex in the car. I'd be at Phoenix City Grove, my Dingler app. I'll have the. Just the. I guess the Bethany home salad will do. And then I'm gonna take my pee pee and move it into the car. It's too good. 7:41. What do you got on the big board of musical treats over there? Bert, wake up.

[Brady]

So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop. I got a text from Josh last night. Now, we've been talking about the big grand opening being February 22nd on Action Ride Shop. Number two, actually, soft opening. He's gonna be doing so Tomorrow you can go in and check out the new store right over there on.

[John Holmberg]

Is he selling stuff? Yeah, yeah, some stuff.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah, because it's a soft opening, but the big grand opening, February 22nd. Make sure you mark your calendars. We'll definitely be hanging out.

[John Holmberg]

I gave him a. An accidental promotion yesterday was. I was. I pulled over yellow water on my ride. I wrote a lot yesterday. And I. I pulled over and the guy goes, nice bike. Like, yeah, where'd you get it? And I said, action Ride shop out in Mesa. He goes, I'm. I'm never out there. Is that a good. I'm like, best shop in the city. And I start giving him the commercial. The guy's like, how much is that bike? And I lied and said, like, half the price of what it normally is, just so he'd go over to Josh and see. And then Josh will give you a deal if you say, I met John on the trails. There was a guy who recognized me Saturday. Helmet, glasses, sweatshirt. I'm riding down the sidewalk and I hear, hey, Holmberg. Like, how did you. I'm in a helmet. The nose. Oh, yeah, right. That's right. The eclipse that followed your bicycle. We've been. We watched it come down the mountain. Mountain. We knew it was you from way up there. The shadow, he wasn't sure he was.

[Brett]

Following you for an hour just to make sure.

[John Holmberg]

I came down and there was, like, Asian tourists in the sidewalk taking pictures. Mountain, great shadow. Shapewreck, panther. Like, that was my nose. Shoddy jackass.

[Brady]

But in the meantime, you can go to the og The HQ over there on Gilbert Road and Southern Action Ride Shop. Gonna take care of you not only on the trails, but also on the mountains. So.

[John Holmberg]

Actionrideshop.com Scott Haynes says, remember Clippy, the paperclip that used to help you through?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Bring Clippy back and say, hey, you just said Hitler and Nazi. Might want to rethink that. Then he shrugs and gives you a Nazi salute when it's all over. Okay, as little paperclip hand goes up.

[Brett]

See Kyle.

[John Holmberg]

Enjoy your job search. What do you got on the board there?

[Brady]

On the list from what we were talking about this morning? Waylon Jennings, Dukes of Hazzard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Mud Vein stained, Motley Crue, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Van Halen. Can Trill, Parkway Drive, Drowning Pool, Ministry Filter, Marilyn Manson, Deep Six for Lady Gaga and Bush.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody else suggested a lot of, like, if you could get homosexuals on cameras at the Phoenix Open, like, graphically French kissing every time a camera's on, there's always a cup. And people would be like, what the hell is going on in Phoenix? Like, just to let everybody feel like it's just some weird, you know, Sodom and Gomorrah thing we got going on over here. And they'll keep those. Keep those buttoned up weirdos who are tired of the snow from coming out here when they see our city this week because it's going to shine on tv, man.

[Brady]

Do Judas priesthood if you want to. Want the gays up there.

[John Holmberg]

Elementary. Leather is not a bad idea. Something's got a gift that TV can't show. How beautiful this place is for four solid days and not expect half a Rochester to want to be here. Yuck. All right, we'll do it. Hell bent for leather it is. You got to get that one. I think to lose it. And I'm fine with that. It's old. It's got a little bit of that. Not so sure if they're Nazis or homosexuals. Look to it. Confederate flags and a lot of. A lot of this. Get over that Phoenix. You see a camera that says CBS on it. Don't ever stop honking. Loads of it. Just keep it up. Make everybody back in New York think that we're crazy. Keep them at home. You got it? Ready to go? Yep. Let's do it. Hell bent for leather, everybody. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erected. Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] I think all the people that are emailing about Sophie Cunningham is proof that I was right about the marketing for the WNBA being so poor. All you guys emailing me are sad that Sophie Cunningham isn't staying. And probably 90 of you have never watched the WNBA game. But you know her.

[Brady]

I haven't.

[John Holmberg]

And you know her, right?

[Brady]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

And if I told you, hey, Sophie Cunningham wants to have drinks with us after the game, but we got to go to the game. You'd go?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

See, Yeah. I was almost to the point where we could arrange that.

[Brady]

Damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Just came into the Rah Rah room the other night. Hey, John. Like, this is a good moment for me. And she was traded the next day. Maybe that's why.

[Brady]

Maybe you're the mush.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta get out of here. This guy's eyeballing it. He wants. He thinks we're gonna have drinks. But me and Kevin Ray was. Kevin Ray was my. When I got to North Road, she didn't stop at the table or think, hey, John. It was just, you know, she Knew me and I took pride as a man who hates girls basketball and saying, Sophie Cunningham knows me, she could have been the cornerstone to click me over. I will say this, and I've said this from the beginning again, it's not about girls basketball, although it's a terrible product. It's about the presentation of that girl's basketball. This three on three thing they got going on. It's fun. They're scoring 85 points a game in a full court game with three on three. I don't know how they're doing that. I don't know how they're outscoring regular WNBA games with five people. And I guess I do. The more options, the more bad passes too crowded, it gets a little congested, the ball pops up and starts running all over the place. So I guess you limit the amount of people pretty good. If they lowered that rim, that three on three thing would be like the way women's tennis, it's a little bit less than men's tennis as far as time as many sets and you know, it takes two out of three rather than three out of five. But it's more.

[Brett]

Don't they do it for volleyball? For what they lower the net and you see some just amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe chicks in volleyball are pretty damn tall, but the dudes are like six, eight. See, I don't know. Maybe. But either way, suck it back a little bit. And these ladies are fun to watch at three on three things. Actually, like, this is pretty entertaining. Like these. It moves a little different play and it seems like they're able to not ram into the other pl. Taking two off the court at any given time seems to be the answer. He scored 85 points. We haven't done that with five people in 28 years.

[Brett]

Less tumbling.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's tripping over each other. The. There's no, like, you know, you can actually post up without somebody ramming into the two of you. Sophie. And no, to answer the questions that I've been getting, she has not taken me up on my offer yet of paying her annual salary just to stay here and quit the WNBA and still do broadcasting with the Suns. What I'd pay like a year's salary, $45,000 maybe. Maybe trip in on that. Wouldn't he trip and kick in for that if you showed him her Instagram? Yeah. Adam says the reason that old guys aren't mad at music like our dads were is because they don't have any good drugs. They're all on Ritalin. What we need to bring back for the music world to piss off the old man. Whiskey, heroin and cocaine. That is a fact because Most of the 80s was cocaine fueled music with a lot of drinking. A lot of the 60s and 70s was heroin and pop. Now Xanax, Ritalin, they're all like relaxed. Nobody's. We had rock and roll with Ozzy eating bad heads like Brett said. We had all that weird stuff. Like we were even shocked by what is going on. Then the music came out. It was just. Your parents would put their hands over their ears. This is just noise. Then the 90s rolled around. The rap that scared the hell out of everybody. And that's the natural progression of good music is that the next generation covers their ears.

[LaDonna]

What is this?

[John Holmberg]

Now we're just bored by it. Kirby's music. You go in there and listen to Tyler, the creator. You're not asking her to turn it down. You're like, what are you? This is boring. It's the ultimate sin musically to be dull.

[Brett]

It is interesting because she likes both. I mean, she'll go into, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Music that we would like, sure, but new music.

[Brett]

But still new music. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's a reason why I think our.

[Dick Toledo]

Kids, like you say that she's into that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think they are.

[Dick Toledo]

I think they do that to appease us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Phases too.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody go. Everybody our age went through the Led Zeppelin years. Y even though it was 20 years we were. Everybody goes to that classic rock thing. But yeah, the new music, just a drag. You never know. This one says, I want to wish Brady a belated happy birthday. And not because I care, but I want to shout out for my own, I'm 45 today and you guys have made my morning since 2003. Feliz Ciano's pop Pop. Signed Edgar the birthday man. It's a pretty good thing. Should we do the other one now or is it it too early? All right, got another one. Edgar, the birthday. Yeah. Edgar, the coupianos ombre. More like that. El kupliamios hombre. The birthday man sounds like a murderer. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Brady reporter.

[Brett]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National Missing Persons Day.

[John Holmberg]

How do they know?

[Brett]

They don't.

[John Holmberg]

So that's almost insulting. Like if you're a missing person in your list. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. If you're a missing person and you're listening to this right now, just remind you how sad things are. Maybe they'll find me today.

[Brett]

It's also National Golden Retriever Day.

[John Holmberg]

Also, hate to break it to you, most missing people are dead and we know it.

[Dick Toledo]

They find one, every one.

[John Holmberg]

No one ever has the let's go look for the missing person party where everyone's looking up.

[Brett]

That one's on purpose.

[John Holmberg]

No one's looking in the treetops for the missing person. We're always looking down for some evidence of a tooth or a femur. Nobody's ever looking for a missing person. Eyes you know, on the horizon.

[Brady]

I never do.

[John Holmberg]

Of course not. Brett knows better than anybody. Most missing people are down by your feet. Sorry if you're looking for a missing person right now, but you may be looking too high. That's all.

[Brett]

Couple of basis fun facts.

[John Holmberg]

Ouch.

[Brett]

The same.

[John Holmberg]

I know it probably hurt. Look, I'm not offending that many people. I can take the hit on this.

[Brett]

One if there's not zero.

[John Holmberg]

Look, no, no, nothing's ever zero, Rick. But it's like a gaggle of people like that march in LA yesterday starts walking down the road. How dare you. I'm like, jesus. A lot more missing people than I thought. But again, same advice applies.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, if they all gather, hey, we found them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're looking horizon line, you're overshooting by about five and a half feet. Look down. Kick the high grass.

[Brett]

The same husband and wife duo, Neil Marlins and Carol Black created three hit TV shows back to back. Growing Pains, the Wonder Years and Ellen. The sitcom, not the talk show.

[John Holmberg]

That's a pretty good run.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought Ellen only lasted like a season.

[John Holmberg]

The TV show. No, it was a monumental smash and also.

[Dick Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

One with Richard Lewis. Wasn't that the one where.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. That was any. That was Jamie Lee Curtis. You're confusing Ellen and Jamie Lee Curtis. Never been said before. Never at all. I think we can say the happy birthday to our friend.

[Brady]

I was just told that friend may be in meetings until 9.

[John Holmberg]

He just text me, says, hey, then do it. 40 today. Happy birthday to our buddy Winston. His lady India has told us say happy birthday to Winston today. Winston is the big four zero. Happy birthday, Winston. 40. Go get your sugars checked. We talked about it this weekend. Make sure you're good.

[Brett]

Only one former cast member has ever reportedly been banned from hosting Saturday Night Live.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Charles Rockett was banned from the whole thing.

[Brett]

Chevy Chase.

[John Holmberg]

Chevy Chase got banned. But he came back mainly for being.

[Brett]

A jerk to the cast and crew.

[John Holmberg]

He hosted in the 90s.

[Dick Toledo]

Big fan of his either, right?

[Brett]

I Think it was just that. That was the last time the Rolling Stones song Paint It Black was released with an accidental stray comma in the title on the record.

[John Holmberg]

Painted Black.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez.

[Brett]

Which it made people think there might be a negative racial connotation on the hit.

[John Holmberg]

On. On the heels of wishing Winston a happy birthday, you throw us this bomb. Sorry about that, Win. Thanks. Happy birthday. Birthday.

[Brett]

When told me to do that.

[John Holmberg]

So originally it was Mick Jagger. All right. Paint it black. Well, you tell him, Mick. That's right. I see a red door. I want to paint it black. You want the color black. You want the guy painting it black. You're making it. You're kind of making it confusing him, Mick. Right. I am confusing it. Drop the comma. Yeah.

[Brady]

Turned into easy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, naked ladies run around my world too. Right.

[Dick Toledo]

You've never had any.

[John Holmberg]

I had tons of them. Right? Yeah, we had loads of those. That was. He ain't doing nothing new. Paint it black. I don't want to be the voice for reason here, but that commerce making people think we're crazy. Quiet down, Keith. I got a great idea. All of our songs at the end of a comma and the color of the person we want doing that thing. Can't get no satisfaction brownies because they can't get any. Right. I'll get it me. But maybe not so much the color.

[Brett]

Yesterday was Groundhog Day. And the most famous groundhog punks. Tiny Phil. He saw a shadow, which means winter is coming. But we found out that.

[John Holmberg]

All right, stop with that. You've done that every time. You've talked about it. Like you've. Like you've uncovered some science knock.

[Brett]

I'm not going off.

[Brady]

We do this on Friday.

[John Holmberg]

He did it Saturday at dinner. Started to spew the fact. Which ground? I'm like, oh, God, it's been 35%. All right, stop. It's a 50. 50 shot.

[Brett]

Staten Island. Chuck. And also didn't see a shot.

[John Holmberg]

There is no scientific merit to this. Oh, he started a conversation Saturday. It's roulette at dinner.

[LaDonna]

You know, it's weird that Staten island.

[John Holmberg]

And he couldn't remember the name. Yeah. You didn't. I don't think you said Chuck in the end. I think you called him probably Henry, something like that.

[LaDonna]

He's the more accurate of the groundhogs. For those of you looking.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody at the table stared at Birdie like he is 60. Riveted. He's giving us scientific facts about Groundhog Day.

[Brett]

Two new reports on super bowl spending just came out. The Good news is a super party can cost less. This year. It's down, it's claiming.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks.

[Brett]

Trump party for 10 people will cost you $139.

[John Holmberg]

Buy American, only get American chips and American wings. Buffalo wings from America. Not those Chinese, Mexican ones. Gotta get some great ones or they'll be tariffed with 400 for your Mexican wing.

[Brett]

Beers up and wings are up. Yeah, but if you.

[Brady]

I think that's.

[Brett]

Go deeper on the broccoli.

[Brady]

Said no one ever.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brett]

You buy more broccoli for, you know, veggies for the dips. It's cheaper this year.

[John Holmberg]

Do you need a bars bag to even say that?

[Brady]

You saw him shaking while he was reading it.

[LaDonna]

Super bowl party has veggie dip.

[Brett]

The other thing they asked about, is size matter in the super bowl as far as the size of the TV screen? Hells yeah, it does. 20 of people say they won't go bigger than 65 inches unless it's 65 inches.

[John Holmberg]

They won't go unless it's bigger than.

[Brett]

They won't go bigger. They.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean they want.

[Brett]

Well, the number one TV screen at the size.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Is 50 inches.

[John Holmberg]

That's the most common.

[Brett]

Most common.

[John Holmberg]

But people, but people. Yeah, People are saying they won't watch if it's a bigger screen than 65 inches.

[Brett]

It says 20 of the people said they won't go bigger than 65 for their own home. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. I thought you meant they wouldn't watch the party if there was a 70 inch television. Too big. If television's too large, they have to go somewhere else. That's what that. I was, I thought you were saying people would leave your party. How big is your television? Just having you over, Bob. If you want to come, you can come.

[Brett]

Yeah. If they're buying a TV for their house.

[John Holmberg]

Right. A lot of people don't have that kind of space from wall to couch.

[Brett]

And you get into some money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, my friend, our buddy Chris, Too good a deal, too good to be true on 108 inch television. Have you seen that thing? No.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, you got it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. And it's ridiculous. But I said you're. You have a big room here. This is about as big as, you know, there's all TV now. I mean, you have to scoot the couch back and it's a big room. If you had six foot high, it's pretty close to that. We picked it up and it was, it was what? Just the two of us? It's not that heavy. It's like 125 pounds.

[Dick Toledo]

Like you picked it up.

[Brady]

I was gonna say cheapy couldn't go get a delivery service or what?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he did get it put in the back of his truck and then I had to help him get it out. It's got handles and we lifted it up on the thing and I'm like, you have a big room and this is Max for like. Because you sit on the couch, you're.

[Dick Toledo]

Being distance that you're.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. You're being overwhelmed by television. So we had to scoot the couch back about six feet.

[Dick Toledo]

So it's like IMAX at Katero's house.

[John Holmberg]

It's. Yeah. Except for IMAX is a little less intrusive. But if you had an apartment in this thing, you'd go blind the first half hour. It's a lot of TV. 65 inch television is bigger. I think the biggest one in my house, 90 or 75 and I got a good distance from TV to couch.

[Dick Toledo]

We have 65.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 75 is a good size.

[Brett]

Bonnie Blue is a only fans star in Australia. She recently was in the news because she set a new world record. She was with 1057 men.

[Dick Toledo]

She's the new Houston.

[Brett]

She's the new Houston. And one of those Gentlemen was a 25 year old who got in trouble.

[Brady]

As good as I thought she'd be.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

Yeah, there's just the opening picture there.

[John Holmberg]

She looks pretty. Looked like the way Sabrina Carpenter's gonna look when she's 45. Still pretty.

[Brett]

She's 25 and that woman's 25. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No way. No, no way.

[Brett]

Said it. Said I did actually sleep with him. Revealed the 25 year old who landed herself in the headlines for claiming to break a world record. Sleeping with a thousand.

[John Holmberg]

She's only 25. She looks like Sabrina Carpenter's mom, man.

[Brady]

Look, Think what she's gonna look like at 45.

[John Holmberg]

It's not gonna be. She's not gonna make it to 45. Crypt Keeper. She's gonna drown in semen if she keeps it up before she's 45. By the way, I got an email that said. Did you just say your friend Winston's only 40? For some reason when you mention him, I always picture a 60 or 70 year old guy like Morgan Freeman. Mind blown. I can't believe he's only slightly older than me. Why is that? Did you assume that's the only black friend I'll hang out with? Well, I'd like to play basketball with John. It's the only way he and I can be competitive. He has to have a 60 year old friend. Winston, you want to play some hoops? I'm almost 70 years old and I'll still hoof your ass. No, Winston is a spry 40 and he'll thump you.

[Brett]

One of the boys that showed up to get involved lined up. He was 19 years old. And they found out that in fact he lost his virginity in the lineup. His mother got word of it that that's where his son went. Because she said he's just. He told her he's just going to an event.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brett]

He found out what the event was.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

And she went over there and yelled in front of all the other guys and to get out of there. But he already got through.

[John Holmberg]

That makes it funnier.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If somebody's mom is yelling outside the sex line. Hilarious.

[Dick Toledo]

Was his name Dylan? Like birthday Dylan from.

[LaDonna]

You see my boy, he's five, nine. He's got an Edgar haircut even though he's white.

[Brett]

He looks crazy.

[LaDonna]

Is he in this line?

[Brett]

They all have Edgar haircut.

[John Holmberg]

Edgar, you're not allowed to play with.

[LaDonna]

Your AR15 if you finish this.

[John Holmberg]

Where is he? I don't want to be an incel forever, mom.

[LaDonna]

Your mama's little boy come home, he.

[John Holmberg]

Stuck it in there and that's how he lost his virginity. Because I don't think you get full push on that. I think it's like the samples at Costco. You get one and you get out of line. I think you just get to jab it in there and you move it counts. Oh, it counts completely. He was in. He was in the. He was in the. In the hot wet. He hit the hot pocket. He's in it, but I don't think anybody's finishing. But you got to remember that as you get close, it's almost like being at golf. Land on the slide. By the time you get to the top, you have to have everything ready. So four or five guys before you. You got to start getting stroke and stuff like that going on. So the next five guys in line are just kind of throwing down. I wonder if anybody does finish and they have to stop and hose her out.

[Brady]

I'll bet there is.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you there's a couple dudes that. That kid right there maybe. But I got to give it to him. I couldn't be in a line of boners and follow that up. My first time. I'd have lost. I wouldn't have had an erection. I bet you he stuffed.

[Brett]

A 711 customer, used a banana to batter store clerk. According to the Florida police. Caltavia Turner, 22 years old, got into a verbal altercation with the 30 year old female worker at the 7 11. They exchanged derogatory comments. Then Caltavia reached over the counter and grabbed a banana and chucked it at her face.

[Dick Toledo]

Seven Eleven sells bananas at the counter.

[Brady]

Okay, you're not gonna fall for the banana on the tailpipe.

[Brett]

It hit her in the face, caused a little abrasion, but that's still assault. So Caltavia got arrested. She was recently arrested for releasing and giving cops a false name when they responded to a trespass call at Baby Dolls, which is the gentleman's club. She was found fined a thousand dollars. Now the banana charge is going on her. There's Caltavia.

[John Holmberg]

To beat somebody with a banana, I think I'd take that beating. I don't think that's gonna hurt too badly.

[Brady]

I know. She just crumbled that up.

[Brett]

There's an LA based matchmaking site called Three Day Rule. It just launched a service that promises to find you the one for the reasonable price of $1 million.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Brett]

It's called Million Dollar Matchmaking.

[John Holmberg]

It's called human trafficking.

[Brady]

I'll find number two.

[John Holmberg]

You can. I can find you the one for a million dollars too. I'll go steal it.

[Brett]

And they're only taking on three clients. Sounds like there's plenty of dough to get it. But the deal is over 100 people applied on one day last week to be. It's a 12 month program. You're gonna be. There's three clients that they'll take max for the year.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

It's a 12 month program. The price tag covers the salaries of three people. And here's what you get for your million dollars. A dedicated recruiter. They'll fly around the country, visit bars, gyms, concerts and other spots to find.

[John Holmberg]

Your perfect match, steal it and bring you the puss.

[Brett]

You get unlimited matches with full background checks.

[John Holmberg]

What they do in the Middle east when they Human traffic for fentanyl.

[Dick Toledo]

It's our facts for humans.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's beyond that. It's. We've been doing this for years and I think there's billboards saying please don't.

[Brett]

They'll help make sure you you're paired with the right people. Also plan out your dates in a minute detail. I mean, basically, they'll go break it down for you. The dating coach. It'll work with you on your dates, like wearing the right clothes.

[John Holmberg]

If I hired. If I hired you for a million dollars to go across the country and find me a Lady friend. Friend. And she's in Wyoming.

[Brett]

Yeah. How convenient is that?

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to go up there.

[Brett]

If you get engaged less than six months after the program ends, they toss in a three carat engagement ring.

[John Holmberg]

Hey. Yeah.

[Brett]

They're only choosing three people.

[John Holmberg]

It's a million dollars and they'll find you something.

[Brett]

There's gonna be some lawsuits in this one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because it's bitch fishing. You can't do this. It's illegal in so many different ways.

[Brett]

Here's your job as the matchmaker. You're gonna go around, travel the country.

[John Holmberg]

With some bars, concerts, entertainment, zip ties and some formaldehyde. And I'm gonna get you a lady. I think I got her. She's squirming around. She's wrapped up in the trunk. Is Brett in charge of this? Your new wife is in the trunk. Don't hear any bitching.

[Brady]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

She's pretty compliant. Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea.

[Brett]

No Brady videos today.

[John Holmberg]

None.

[Brady]

I'm real light. I only got two in there.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

They're okay.

[John Holmberg]

They're nothing special going. That's actually a nice kind of breather. A little sorbet between. I guarantee you Brett's something in this thing. He thinks his light's gonna make me fly. Asian eating flies.

[Brady]

Reason not to have kids.

[John Holmberg]

Kid waking their parents in bed. He's leaning over the dad's head, biting his head. He's not moving. Oh, my God. Oh, she comes in with a walk. How incredibly racially sensitive to the situation. This Asian man's asleep. This little Asian girl from Squid Games puts the walk over his face and hits it with a spoon.

[Brett]

Is there bed?

[John Holmberg]

The bed in the kitchen. Maybe they edited that. Why is he sleeping with a bag of dog food next to his head? Oh, bait. Yeah. He sleeps like a corpse.

[Brady]

And then there's. Then there's this one here.

[John Holmberg]

There's a gas truck. Oh, it's a. Gas truck's on fire. The tank is not. Oh, that's going to be a huge eruption. Oh, yeah, that's a. That's a nuclear bomb. Look at the size of that explosion. Wow. How come the sound went off?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. That is a large mushroom cloud. Is that a propane tank or something?

[Brady]

I think so. Yeah. I think it was natural gas, man.

[John Holmberg]

And it's in a dump country where they have like, no grass. Johnny. Johnny. Shahzad propane. And then all the buildings are made of mud, so. And everybody's outside and Everybody's dressed like Dr. Evil.

[Dick Toledo]

That's how far the one piece goes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And how come everybody stood and watched that and then ran after it exploded? I'm looking at that country, though. They're used to explosions. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're every. If your house doesn't have a couple bullet holes in the side of it. You didn't participate in the revolution.

[Dick Toledo]

How would you know? It's all mud.

[John Holmberg]

They take. You can see the bumps and bruises, the acne, pockmarks of war of active revolution. That little kid puts a wok over my face and hammers it. She's going to be stuffed in a fire drawer.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That day I don't love anything that much that it puts a pot over my face and hits it with a spoon. Where I show that to people and laugh. They ever show you the video of my daughter? I didn't know you had kids. I used to. Anyway, she put this thing over my face and hit it with a spoon. Oh, well, it's. What a special age. Yeah. I don't know where she is. I put her at the fire department. She's gone now.

[Dick Toledo]

She's on some millionaires watch list.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A human trafficker. She's the one for somebody. Not for me, though. It didn't work out. I do like the idea of that with your kids. Just sit them down. This isn't working out. I'm gonna have to sell you to somebody else because there's a lot of parents I see with their kids. It's just not working out. If it was a relationship outside of mother and father, they'd break up with them. Or you'd ghost them, have a press.

[Dick Toledo]

Conference like the NBA.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we've traded for a better kid.

[Brett]

You've had a good year. I think we're at our top money. We can get the best.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the thing. Like, you know, you renegotiate the deal. Like right now. Kirby's good. You're in good shape there. Your kid's older, but like a couple years ago, you looked and said, you know, I'm not unhappy, but I don't. I think I get a better option. And I think my roster would be better if I got Kirby on my squad and then just did a swap where everybody's still got a kid. Yeah. You trade kids with families that also are in a situation.

[Dick Toledo]

I might trade for her right now.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

She's doing all right. But she got a little progress report. Grade one dropped.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that didn't sound like a really confident dad.

[Brett]

We're talking Cs, mostly A's and Bs and her. Her mouth. Her math is a B. This.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's not good. Yeah, that's a drops of trade value. Quite, quite a bit.

[Dick Toledo]

This takes half the countries off the map.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Can't even. The first 2 billion aren't interested.

[Brett]

She must not have turned in something.

[John Holmberg]

And you keep making excuses. Maybe she's just dumb with math. That was me. Some kids are dumb.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, just don't care about it.

[John Holmberg]

It. There was a lot of that because.

[Brett]

She'S been doing fine in math.

[John Holmberg]

So was I. I was straight A's till algebra rolled up. And I'm like, well, this is not math anymore. There's letters in it. Yeah. There's words in there. This is English and math combined. And I'm not doing this never made sense. And yeah, I could have tried harder.

[Brett]

But you got a C, right?

[John Holmberg]

F, Hard, hard F. Big time.

[Dick Toledo]

Pick one.

[John Holmberg]

Once the D started rolling and I was all A's. All A's. I would freak out if I got a B. Algebra showed up. First test came with a D on it. I'm like, I gave it my all there. That's. And I'm not dumb. And then the next test showed up and I'm like, I'm staring it.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you ever get the incomplete on your report card? You didn't do enough to even.

[John Holmberg]

That was later.

[Dick Toledo]

Warrant a grade.

[John Holmberg]

That was later. That was. That was critic mythology.

[Dick Toledo]

Were you made to do it again?

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't have to. That was a choice. It was. But I went in and at the end of the thing, you go get your grade. And the lady said, you got a tough time. 12. And I'm like, Jesus, 12%? She goes, no, you got 12 points. I didn't even do the percentage. Like, wow, that's harder than getting a good grade. Yeah. So the math thing. She might just be dumb at math. There's people who are. The thing you need to do in that situation is not force her to be good at the math she's in. Make her take that remedial stuff and she'll feel like aces. Because when I got into consumer math. Did you take consumer math? Math. It was the best class I've ever been in consumer math.

[Brady]

I was trying to think that. I know I didn't take it.

[John Holmberg]

Outstanding. They just do checkbooks and, like, stuff you're gonna use. Yeah. For the dummies in math who are like, algebra's not for you. You're probably not gonna need this.

[Brady]

I don't think we had it at Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

Consumer math.

[Brady]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

Best.

[Brett]

Yeah, and like I said, this is, you know, the weekly update.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, you got it.

[Brett]

Last week was a bad week.

[John Holmberg]

Was it algebra 2? That might as well be a foreign language. Just get her out of there. She's dumb at math.

[Brady]

I was in summer school for algebra.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, once they had letters. And that should be more of like a weeding out process. The kids who were good at everything stare at algebra and just go, what are you doing? And then you're like, consumer math. You go over there with the other idiots and make change for the next six weeks. And that's what they teach you. Like making change and. And like doing accounting ledgers and balancing your. Because they realize, oh, you're kind of stupid when it comes to numbers. That was me. Everywhere else I was across the board.

[Brady]

Brady needs to get Kirby to sell. Start selling weed instead of just smoking. And once you start selling your math skills, get a good boost and you.

[John Holmberg]

Start replacing the A's, B's and C's in algebra equations. Yeah. With like kilos and bags. Yeah.

[Brady]

Spliffs, nickels, dimes.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Suddenly the A's and the B's and the C's. Oh, I see. Now the A represents a spliff and the B is a bag. It all adds up.

[Brett]

Finally clicks in.

[John Holmberg]

Now I can figure out the common denominators of things I never. And the worst part was my algebra teacher was from India. E to the B to D. I couldn't hear B or D. They all sounded exactly the same. Bubble did to be the D to the end. Like what? We don't know. D or B is. And I can't tell what you're saying. Consumer math. Give me a checkbook, Let me make change. I got an A. Suddenly I was smart again at math. You know how many times I've used algebra since that class? Zero.

[Brady]

Bagel it.

[John Holmberg]

I have never gone by a tree and gone. I wonder what the shadow length of that tree is compared to my shadow. I'm a 6 foot tall hypotenuse. The tree is 25ft tall. Its shadow is 40ft tall. I'm 6ft and my shadow is. How long is it? What time is it? Like, I don't know why this matters, but it cost $10 and I gave you a 40. Why would I do that? I don't know, but you owe me $30. I start getting my. Why would I give a guy twice as much as he charged me? Just give him change.

[Brady]

Okay, now it's all credit cards, so it doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't matter. You don't even need it anymore. And plus, you got a calculator on your phone.

[Brett]

And now with AI well, I got.

[John Holmberg]

In trouble for Mr. Downing and consumer math because I had a calculator. Don't use that. Like, why? You have to know it. And I'm like, I can do it for. But I'll be right. Isn't that the goal? Because you have to learn it. I'm like, I am through this calculator thing. Put that away. Well, when I get out of this room, I'm using the calculator. You realize that the skill I'm developing here is more useful than what you're trying to teach me. What if you don't have that calculator? Probably not gonna be doing a whole lot of math.

[Brett]

Bro, I'm a math.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I need my tools.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, this calculator has got, like, symbols on it. What is that? It's the square root. Oh, I'll never need that.

[Dick Toledo]

Never.

[John Holmberg]

Give me the basic one with numbers and pluses and minuses, and I'll figure it all out from there. What if you need to find the percentage of something? Ask an Asian. I'm not dumb.

[Brady]

Just gonna say, what do I look like, Asian?

[John Holmberg]

I'll go over to Tom Lay.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I'll just say, hey, what's the percentage here? Besides that. The only time I need percentages for anything. Tips. And they give it to you on the bottom. And they show it now because they're tired of people trying to do that, man. I'll give you three or four options. You need to get Kirby out of that horrible algebra, too. And then a consumer math. She's making change. You get those straight A's, she gets into college easier. You're just making it harder on yourself. Forcing her to do algebra. Kick her out of there.

[Brett]

That grade will get up.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. You're dumb. You need to put her in a class. You need to. Need to rig it so her classes are all A's so her college is easier. This is the year that's dumb.

[Brady]

There's a point of algebra, too, anyway.

[John Holmberg]

None. I mean, none. Unless you're going to be in math. And algebra is designed to weed out the kids who aren't going to be in math. Because if you don't love it when you're 16, you're never going to turn a corner on math. You want to be an engineer? Stick around. You'll get a's It'll make sense to you. You want to be a radio personality. Trust me, algebra is the fastest way to get there. Why is there an R in this? Or do it to find out. The R2. What is the D minus the 2 over 5. I'm like, no, no. Where's consumer math? I'll take Home ec. Is that a math credit? You might be the dumbest man I've ever known. I can't even give you an answer.

[Brady]

Thanks, Kevin.

[John Holmberg]

You learn you. Yeah. Look, Mr. Kevin, you worked your ass off to be great at math and you're making 27k a year standing here teaching me. That's somebody's not making good decisions. I'll be over here being dumb at math, pulling in a billion times more than that. Eventually, you will see, you will die in the gutter. Okay. You bet. Enjoy your second job calling people, harassing them about their discovery. How did you know? Because you've called me several times. I'm not good at paying bills either. That's why I need consumer math. There you go, everybody. There's. Here's your Brady Report. It's 98KuPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] you can listen to the Guadalupe replay on your own time time. It's RFK heavy and Frank Caliendo was part of it. You can get on that. We're not gonna be able to do that today. All these ideas of people popping in, listening to the US earlier this morning when I was talking about. Look at this. Look outside as per wind is gently whipping the American flag. It's. It's a Rockwellian out there. Perfect weather, 80 degrees all week. And unfortunately it's not gonna pour rain or do anything crazy Thursday through Sunday when we are on display for the Waste management open on SportsCenter on all the. It's going to be everywhere. And I was, you know, saying in order to keep these weirdos from the snowbound states wanting to move out here, we have to have Mesa rise up. Some Confederate flags rise up. Yeah, the horns that we. This has to happen a lot. Whenever there's cameras or anything, you see a sports center desk and have your Mexican friends roll by. Just loads of that going on. And also somebody said add in a bunch of guys like every time there's a camera just graphically French kissing. And someone said, no, the Californians will show up. That's true. So I'd like to start a new as governor Holmberg, a new thing that all the signs on the roads coming in from Arizona or from California to Arizona, like Blythe and Yuma, wherever you cross over from California and it says welcome to Arizona on the bottom have it say food with the most gluten for the 30th year in a row. Like, keep. Keep the Californians out. More gluten than ever now. Serving peanuts with every meal. Like, keep. Keep the Californians out. And they're. I think that's a great idea. We got to keep these people away. It's too perfect this week to have to have TV cameras on Phoenix. It's going to draw them in. We need to get crazy red state. And I mean quick. Like, keep California from thinking that they're welcome here. Con Confed flag somewhere on our flag is the most unbelievably good idea of all time.

[Brett]

If we could AI some photos, seat and put the homeless encampments around the Phoenix open area just on the outside.

[John Holmberg]

Just eating gluten and honking in the parking lot.

[Brett]

Yeah, Parking lot. There's just.

[John Holmberg]

Normally what's here is this. We moved them out for you and it's just Confederate flags. Homeless and gluten.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Men making out, gluten stands. Homeless guys having anal sex. Flying the confederate flag, eating gluten. Keep Arizona clean. Oh, the last thing I want.

[LaDonna]

You know, We've lived in St. Paul for so long. Maybe it's time we make that move.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not welcome here. Here. We've been part of the upper peninsula for. Nope, stay there. But it's so cold. Your choice. Florida is your option. It's bigger. It's weirder than us. Even though I will say Florida tried that Confederate flag thing for years and it seemed to be. It seemed to draw. We should raise taxes on anybody who hasn't lived here for more than five years. State tax for you. Huge.

[Dick Toledo]

First time you go to register your car here, it's half the price of your car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. New residents only. We don't know. State tax for anybody who's lived here for 10 years.

[Dick Toledo]

Sweet.

[John Holmberg]

Only new residents pay state tax. We won't really do that, but just scare them away with that.

[Brady]

I like it.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's great. We have capped out. I like to max out here also. You fest is coming up a little bit. And then we don't even have to ask you guys to have Confederate flags and stuff like that at the you festival. That just happens. We should televise you fest. Now there's something to Keep the Californians out a day to remember. See, they're all the rest. They're there. Tickets went on sale Friday. Very good. I got a lot of people saying I missed a $25 deal. I don't know why. That's my problem. I don't know why you spent time this weekend telling me you were late. But still, tickets are still on sale, and they're still reasonably priced. You can get some good ones. Plus we're going to have some to give away here before May 3rd when the big show happens, so. So you got time if you want to be a cheapskate. You missed your $25 window, and you. You can still try to win them. I'm. We're. Well, I think we have some this week. Larry's gonna have some as well. You can get all the [e-mail] Fitz is loaded up with them. Shan Man's got them. Pole station all loaded. Tap the app, all that stuff. Keep trying to win them. But also, you know, if the price tag of a concert is too high for you to go because you're going to miss rent and stuff, maybe you shouldn't go to concerts for a little while to use Kirby Math. I'm not so sure. A meets B here. Yeah. You got to get her into regular people math. That algebra thing is a waste of time for anybody who's never done it because it's just going to screw it up, and then she's going to be in a community college and then no good.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What? What?

[Brett]

Fine with that.

[Brady]

Cheap.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's cheap. Why not? Why not have her get a freebie?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

At a big school. Because I'll tell you what happens after community ain't happening. You think it's. You don't think that's gonna happen? She's got a better chance. All right.

[Brett]

Yeah, but I don't know about it.

[Dick Toledo]

Alex was dead center of his. Of his graduating class.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Two over the midline. Oh, God, no.

[John Holmberg]

He's sending her to a school he pays for. I know. So it looks better for colleges if you say it's ain't happening. Stick her back and highlight.

[Brett]

I don't know about the schools you're talking about. Like, you know, I mean, Ivy League's out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, come on. We knew that was out when you were the semen donor. Like, you thought for a while there your sperm was going to make an Ivy League kid.

[Dick Toledo]

She going back to Ohio, step up that tennis program.

[John Holmberg]

You could have crossed that out while you were in college.

[LaDonna]

Not Going to have an Ivy League kid, dad.

[John Holmberg]

You knew that.

[Brett]

I turned down Harvard for nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Down. You turn. You turned nothing down. Did. So you think is Kirby good enough to tennis to play college tennis?

[Brett]

No, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well then that's a waste of time.

[Brett]

By the. She's got another year. Band is gone.

[Dick Toledo]

Viola was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Bands out.

[John Holmberg]

So you. You're spending all this money for academics to be the. The ticket into college?

[Brett]

No, there'll be. I mean she'll. She'll have some options. I don't. You know.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it because you spent all her college fund on getting her through high school?

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brett]

It's looking that way, man.

[John Holmberg]

Get her in public schools if she's wasting all this money. And you can't get in Ds unless she's an ace of tennis boy. I tell you what.

[Brady]

High five.

[John Holmberg]

Good Christ. Because you know what happens when she goes to community college, right? You think you're saving money on community college till that end ends. And then guess who's at your house not working. Your community college daughter. And you're spending more money on her living with you than you would have if she'd have been off in college anyway.

[Brett]

She's probably not going to a community college.

[John Holmberg]

She's going to a real college that you've got to pay for. Unless you're getting a dummy mat.

[Brett]

Yeah. Scholarship opportunities.

[Dick Toledo]

But yeah. You're not putting it out there. And you're.

[Brett]

Yeah, there are. From coming out of.

[John Holmberg]

Because she's at that school. Yeah. Yeah. So Grand Canyon. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brett]

You get there.

[John Holmberg]

They basically. They. It's the pipeline to Grand Canyon.

[Brett]

They're all. Anyone Grand Canyon esque.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like a Christian college.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. They like those. There's so Liberty Monies and Grand Canyon.

[Brett]

A couple in color Roberts. You've got California.

[Brady]

Toledo's right. His family is not going to let Kirby go to.

[John Holmberg]

I was just going to say, you know, a community.

[Dick Toledo]

You cannot tell.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's at cc.

[Brett]

She's an artichoke.

[John Holmberg]

No way. There's also. Yeah, that's no problem.

[Brady]

No way.

[LaDonna]

So how's Kirby Brady? Jesus. Scc, Arty choke. Have you tried to kill her yet? Are we gonna have her at family function?

[Dick Toledo]

That'll put Bunny in her grave.

[John Holmberg]

Let's not. Yeah, yeah. You know what else will put Brady in his grave? When he said what he didn't mean a second ago? That there's schools in Colorado. So what you're saying is if that happens, you're only gonna be with us for two more years. So plan that is Ohio State. Now, if Kirby moves to to Colorado, you're not staying here. You'll be sleeping on her floor. And she's not going to Colorado because if she does, you're leaving. Curviderbs.

[LaDonna]

You can't go.

[John Holmberg]

There's no way. She's your ride or die homies for life. You're not. You two are gonna live together. Yep. Yep. Up you every time you say no. That way we know. What do we know? The opposite is true. Exactly.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[LaDonna]

Nope. I'm putting my foot down. She will move out with her daddy to a school that I choose.

[Brett]

Going to Colorado online.

[John Holmberg]

Now that I believe.

[Dick Toledo]

Grady, did you just buy a condo in Denver?

[LaDonna]

Well, it's an investment. It's an investment for Curbin Herbs. And I'm gonna be spending a lot more time up there in Denver. Denver?

[John Holmberg]

Don't buy it. Get her in dummy mass and get her a scholarship to a good school. Not to say Grand Canyon's not, but come on.

[Brady]

Well, it's not a cc.

[John Holmberg]

So has she talked about going to school outside of Arizona?

[Brett]

She wants to. She's talking about visiting. She wants to check out Ohio University.

[John Holmberg]

Believe it or not, she wants to go where you went.

[Brett]

You want to see it now?

[John Holmberg]

Is this you having a fever dream that she actually mentioned that? Because I don't think anybody's ever said, boy, what I'd like to see is Ohio University.

[Dick Toledo]

But she other than that automatically admit legacies, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Are you legacy?

[Brady]

It's like Flounder and his brother in Animal House.

[John Holmberg]

Don't legacies have to have a. Somebody pumping cash into the system? Like you just can't go there and get your.

[Brett]

No, she can't. And she probably.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I wouldn't know if she would get.

[John Holmberg]

Accepted or not because the standards are so high.

[Brett]

Clearly, if you wanted.

[John Holmberg]

Clearly. You and Clubba.

[Brett]

No, when I got in, yeah, they were lower.

[John Holmberg]

It's pulse right now. You have to spell your name right.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway. Interesting. Well, good luck to that again, Brett.

[Brady]

High five.

[John Holmberg]

For the victim. Vegas. And spend Kirby's college one day and not care. It's 905 we got. What would Brady do? Even though he's not getting his kid in dummy math and being smart about a good. A good school you can get her into like ASU Possibility that dog Toledo's holding can get in there again.

[Dick Toledo]

I think both schools in this state are pulse. ASU because they want.

[John Holmberg]

They want students. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And U of A because they need to keep up.

[John Holmberg]

It's good business they're like a Walmart. Just get more people in the door. They are, yeah. ASU is where she'll end up. That's a good one. Grand Canyon. Rasu. That way you can. You, you don't have to.

[Brett]

Don't have to buy a condo for investment.

[John Holmberg]

You have to pull up stakes and move around. You can be comfortable here. It's 906. What Would Brady do? Is coming up next. It's 98. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. There you go. Disturbed. Thank you. They're coming in here in May, I believe for their 25th anniversary of the sickness.

[Brady]

March or May?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think it's May.

[Brady]

One of the M's.

[John Holmberg]

It's an M month. Keep your eyes open. You got time. We got what would Brady do? Coming up in seconds. But I'm running late on commercials. But I did want to tell you guys something. That's hilarious. Have you ever done this? It's the first time it's ever happened to me. Happened last night. Night. I'm on my new all night schedule. But last night I fell asleep a little early for my early nap. Sometimes that happens. And woke up, I don't know, like 12:30 in the morning. But I woke up excited. You know how we wake up sometimes? Excited. I was extra excited and I went to. I had to pee. So I went in the bathroom. I've never had this happen before. It's hilarious. And you know you got. I sat down to pee because otherwise you're the bend. Yeah, the bend is miserable. We've all done the bend. Bend. And I sat to pee. But I was gone sleeping. Like I, you know when you sit to pee sometimes you're half asleep while you're doing it. So I'm going. I got the bend down. My hand got a little lax on the bend and so I'm finishing up. And then you know that last little like kegel squeeze to get a shot off. Sometimes that's a pretty good shot. Like it's. Sometimes it's the urinary. Peter North.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sitting there and I kind of give. Hit a couple of squeezes. I feel like, oh, there's still a lot in there. That's a lot of pressure. Hit a couple of those bombs. Look up. Wall coated. I was shot out like wiper fluid. But it was between the seat. Yeah. In the gap. And it was, it was spraying out like I had a thumb over it.

[Brett]

Been there, done that.

[John Holmberg]

Have done that.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's the first time I've ever shot through that hole before. I was hilarious because I was all kind of hunched up. My ass was way too far back just to be in normal pee position. So there I was, one in the morning, bleaching the walls and floor. Hilarious. So just a warning to all the guys out there. It doesn't just trickle out of that thing. Some sort of science gets involved. And it. Have you ever done it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, I'm late to the party. It flies out of there.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. It's like a turret.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It fans a bunker coming after watering.

[Brady]

The flowers outside with your thumb over y.

[John Holmberg]

And that, like, the light hits it and there's a rainbow. And, like, it was crazy how much was coming out. I didn't realize the first hit went out. And then in hindsight, I'm like. I heard it hits. It hit the wall. Because the wall for this toilet's like three and a half feet. It was a. It was a straight hit. Fanned it all out. My. My calves were all wet. Was gross. It's just a public service announcement, ladies. You act like you have something seat up and down. You don't really realize what we have to deal with when we pee. That thing's got a mind of its own. In the middle of the night. I've never boner shot through the bottom. When I was a little boy, my mom used to get mad because I would pee through that hole. But when you're a grown up, you can't. Like, I don't even know how you get it in there ever.

[Brady]

You ever drunk pee and miss the toilet, like, when you're standing there?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

Back in the day. Done that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm like, whoa. The reason that I sit to pee is because my mom made me start washing my own bathroom. Oh, okay. And I was probably 17, 18. She's gonna wash your own bathroom now because I'm not doing this anymore. I don't even know if you know where the toilet is. And you go in there and like, she's right. I let it go for a week. I was all over the road.

[Brady]

That happens here in the bathrooms here. Oh, dudes can't even hit the urinal standing up.

[John Holmberg]

And peeing is not the worst. It's a 6040 proposition. There's not a lot of 100 hits on this thing. That's why I said to pee. I'm like, I'm not cleaning this all the time. Sit to pee. Floor never gets dirty. The rim never gets messed up. It's the golden way to go. It's cleaner anyway. I just thought I'D throw that out there just as a PSA for everybody while we're taking a. You know, trying to find time here. It's what Brady do is coming up next, I promise. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. Still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com what would Brady do? All right, it is 9:33. Better late than ever. It's time for what Would Brady Do? And it's brought to you by our friends over at MMP Guns inside Mo Money Pond, 12th street in Indian School. Go over there for all your needs. I holsters. You get your gun, you get your do. They do the CCW thing. They do the classics for that. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Got all that. They got everything. You've ever build your own, you build your own weapon. AR15, the Glocks, they have that stuff. Anything you want from them in the world of guns, they've got it. MMP Guns is the place to go. 12th street and Indian School is where you go inside. Mo Money Pawn. Brady, are you ready? Ready. Here we go. I'll finish with that one. That one's nuts. Dear Brady, I stole money from my friend 25 years ago. I now have money. So does he. He's none the wiser. It was thirteen hundred dollars. I needed it to be alive. I needed it for rent. I needed it to pay for my car. I need it for insurance, and I needed it for food. I was an absolute mess at the time. And he had thirteen hundred dollars in his glove box in his car. And I knew it. To this day, he thinks someone broke in. He's never used logic that it was just the money that was stolen and nothing else. So I sit here today wondering if I should ever pay him back. He missed his rent the month I took it. Had to borrow from his dad and pay his dad back to not fall too far behind. It put him in a bind. My guilt is there, but I also don't want to lose a friend over this thing. Here I am, 25 years later, wondering, what would Brady do?

[Brett]

Oliver, I'm. I'm paying him back. Not only the 1300. Whatever he owed his dad. If you have the money now and say, I know. Our friendship's on the line. I know.

[John Holmberg]

What do you pay him back?

[Brett]

Well, yeah, you throw in the 1300, but you figure his dad needed help on the rent. Isn't that right?

[Brady]

Well, his dad had to help him on the rent.

[Brett]

Yeah, Yeah, I mean, but it set his dad back. So whatever that amount. And then.

[Brady]

So you're doubling it.

[Brett]

Put some.

[John Holmberg]

I throw 2500 dollars in 1999 is equivalent of 20 or 1300 dollars is equivalent of $2517 now. So you do that.

[Brett]

So that's about right. 2600.

[John Holmberg]

And then I'd put average interest rate on that probably was about 3% throughout time. So throw another 3% on top of that. Give this guy three grand.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you're gonna pay him back at all or shut your mouth.

[Brady]

I'm shutting my mouth ever.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna lose a friend. How close? I think I'm shutting my mouth, too. You crooked pile of garbage.

[Brett]

Going in. But I'm saying. But if you found that out years ago.

[Brady]

I mean, like, he hasn't figured out until now. I mean.

[Brett]

But I'm saying, if it was one of.

[Brady]

They hear it now on the radio one.

[John Holmberg]

If one of us in this room.

[Brett]

22 years ago, and.

[John Holmberg]

And I missed rent and I was going through stuff because I had this break in, and you did it, and you saw and you come clean with me.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gone.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah. 100.

[John Holmberg]

You too.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Peace out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not sure, because then I'm wondering, over those last 22 years, how many times have you done this?

[Brady]

Once a thief, always a thief.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Kind of like that.

[Brett]

Well, I.

[John Holmberg]

That's not necessarily true.

[Brett]

Like, I think when you're, you know, addiction, that kind of thing, stealing the.

[John Holmberg]

Drug money, like he said, Tony Romas. We were stealing like crazy.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So it becomes this, you know, it became this, like, part of the way the business worked, that we're, you know, cash money. Money sitting around you. Matthia knows cash business. You don't have to be a thief to end up with a couple bucks in your pocket you didn't deserve. It happens. I'm not proud of it, but that happened. It didn't make me a thief for good. I didn't steal from there on out. But that place, when it was all laying around, brutal. But I never did it with friends or, like, you know, you don't steal from people. It's a weird thing to say because we were stealing from people, but it was the. The business.

[Brett]

How do you get that amount again?

[John Holmberg]

He had 1300 bucks. Had it in cash.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So maybe had some sort of thing. Who knows?

[Brady]

Or he was a server, too. You know, like, could be working on a cash basis. Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he took it. But I think if 25 years later, you're like, hey, I never wanted to tell you this, but here's 2,500 bucks to make good for the 1300 I stole from you back in 2000. Like, hold on a second. What else don't I know? No, you know, or if you feel.

[Brady]

Guilty, drop an envelope somewhere and he finds it. And no harm, no foul.

[John Holmberg]

And then you can remind him this is like that time you lost 1300 bucks. Look at this. Even Steven. Yeah, Then you get it off your conscious that it came out of your account. I like Brett's idea. Anonymously leave money near him. Yeah, but the bad thing will be is what if he tries to. Like, what if he's extra good guy and he tries to turn it in.

[Brett]

Or I'm going to turn it in, someone's going to be missing that.

[Brady]

Then that's on him.

[John Holmberg]

You know what you did?

[Brady]

You did your best.

[Brett]

Well, that's what I'm saying, though, you know, if it keeps eating away at them.

[John Holmberg]

I got a good idea.

[Brett]

You have to go in. I mean, you tell them you replace the money. No, I know. I know our. I know our friendship's on the line. If you want to no longer want to be friends, I accept that.

[Brady]

No, don't.

[John Holmberg]

I got a better idea. I like this one. Tell them you want in on this bet. I got a big bet stand to win, like two grand on this thing. I'll cover you. I'll cover your number. Nut he's like, all right, covers it. There you go. And then say we won like 2500 bucks. Here you go.

[Brady]

I like that.

[John Holmberg]

And then. And then gets it off of you.

[Brett]

You could do it this weekend with the super bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there you go. Maybe. I suppose then he's going to start but have something like have your story straight. Just going up there with Brady's plan, telling him I'm an and here's some money, everything blows up. I wouldn't tell him I'm with Brett. Brady says tell good luck if he.

[Brett]

Keeps coming back around. But you know, that could make it go away the best that.

[Brady]

Yeah, I like that.

[Brett]

Money back.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, Oliver, your name is not normal. So if your friend's listening to the show, he's gonna know it was you.

[Brady]

I hope he's using an alien.

[John Holmberg]

I do, too. Dear Brady, my wife is charging people to come to the house to do readings and tarot cards. She bought a crystal ball, and she's starting to believe she's got a gift. At first I thought it was just a novelty. She was having fun. There are people parading in and out of my house now. Like crazy. We went to do taxes this weekend. Weekend. And this dinghy broad made 45 grand doing this.

[Brady]

I was claiming it.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. She must take credit cards only.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, it's a complete scam. She's got no gift. She's got to be told what she's doing is a scam before it gets out of hand. Should I do it? I was thinking about hiring someone to come to a reading and pretend to be an IRS agent. Just to scare her into, like admitting this is bad or for novelty purposes only. She's going to hurt someone. Thoughts, Cam?

[Brett]

Sorry, Cam. Too late. You're not. You're not breaking that stallion.

[John Holmberg]

She's crazy.

[Brady]

She's got to be hot too.

[John Holmberg]

Not necessarily. I've never once seen a girl reading tarot cards.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

No. For being dumb enough to start believing herself. That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

That's the. Let's see. That's the.

[Brett]

Across the board.

[John Holmberg]

That's the. The horse shaped woman that sits in those things with the. You know, they're never good looking looking. They start believing in themselves though. Because that makes up for them being ugly. Is that God gave him a gift of being able to see things and.

[Brett]

To feel like they're helping people.

[John Holmberg]

Crystal balls that they bought online. If crystal balls worked, wouldn't we all be able to do it?

[Brady]

I'm gonna order one on Amazon.

[John Holmberg]

Ben's got one. But you never have everybody walking. Like, you've never.

[Brady]

It's never doing readings in there.

[Brett]

It's more of a giant snow globe.

[John Holmberg]

You've never. It's a pig.

[Brett]

Pink. Pink sparkle globe.

[John Holmberg]

Like somebody walk by Ben's office and then see it and go. I see in the ball like, you.

[Brett]

Know, first of all, there's no gong.

[John Holmberg]

There's a gong. Brady. That's what happens in your head when you have the gift. You don't know. But some sort of like. They're just like, hey, Ben, what's that? A crystal ball. And then the gift attacks them and they have to read the future. That's how a crystal ball would work. It would work only with people who could see into it. Otherwise we could all do it and it's never happened. And Ben's got one in his office. So it's stupid. Run away from this nut bag broad before it gets out of hand. You start having Chinese art in your house and she starts talking about Eastern medicine and Looney Tune stuff. She's bananas. She's not Tied to it. If she's not Asian, she can't talk about the Far east at all. That's cultural appropriation. And if she can't float or do something cool, she's got no gifts.

[Brett]

I just know you're gonna start a new relationship in the next month, John.

[John Holmberg]

And with that money, money is gonna.

[Brett]

Be coming your way.

[John Holmberg]

Did you just walk by Ben's office?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No. The ball.

[LaDonna]

The gift has been awakened.

[Brett]

Something mysterious will be coming into your life.

[LaDonna]

The gift has risen inside of me and I cannot look at the ball without.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see.

[LaDonna]

Anal.

[John Holmberg]

Put her to the test. Just say, hey, read me. And I want you to do me a favor. Really hone in on this skill you've got and tell me what's going to happen to me tomorrow. I have a very specific question.

[LaDonna]

It's not how it works.

[John Holmberg]

Right, Cuz it doesn't. She's a. She's a worse than the dude who stole the money. She's us. She's $45,000 of ill gotten gains from dummies. And she's rubbing, you know, tubes and making all sorts of crazy noises and painting things in your house. Gold with Chinese letters. Turn it off. Run.

[Brett]

That's tough, man. If ronnie brought him 45 gram, you'd let her.

[John Holmberg]

You'd let her steal from people for 45?

[Brett]

Keep reading, would you? No.

[John Holmberg]

If reading started to happen at your house, that's worse than stealing.

[Brett]

Not only that, it's like that's. That's tough on the relationship there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's unlikable. Like I don't even know how you want us to have 45 grand? I'll go find an Applebee's waitress and marry that. At least she's not crazy. You start doing readings at my house and you're only bringing in 40. You have to bring in like 4.5 million for me to be interested in your. Now you're reading now your personality. I might start buying in. I'd be like Joel Osteen's wife at that point. It's all real. Nothing worse than a lady who discovers her stupid gift because she couldn't get a regular job. So she's got to pretend to be important in some outer realm.

[Brady]

Unless you're bringing in John Edward type cash.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, unless you can get a crowd at celebrity theater to listen to your every word.

[LaDonna]

I see an M. Is there an M in it? My name's Mary.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, there's a gong involved. The Gong Show. And every time she speaks, you should ring it and get her off the stage. Dear Brady, My son's ex girlfriend is 24 years old and absolutely stunning. Her skin is like she's from another planet. What? Anyway, she broke it off with my son in October, so it's green and lumpy. My son has since moved to Wickenburg, so he's not around here anymore. At the house. She comes by and stays at the house because while they were dating, she became part of the family. Last Thursday I woke up and she was in bed with me. And I didn't know that. She said she had a bad dream and got scared. Tank top, pink panties. And I said, well, cuddle up. And she did. Started kissing my neck. She reached to touch me and I stopped her and I said, I can't do this. This. But man, I've been single for eight years. I have had sex 11 times in eight years. I'm not going to do well with this. She's staying here again tomorrow through Sunday. Here's why. My house is closer to the Phoenix open and she's working there as a cocktail waitress on the 18th. We're on the 18th. Brady, walk me through this problem.

[Brett]

Evan, I don't see a problem here. I don't see a problem.

[John Holmberg]

One of the atmosphere girls is trying to jerk you off at night because.

[Brett]

She'S scared you're single.

[Brady]

I watched the story on pornhub.

[John Holmberg]

It happens on Pornhub all the time. A lot of the times it happens while you're in bed with her mother.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Mom's right there.

[LaDonna]

I'm just so scared, Evan.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what you. What the. What? And then the next thing you know, she's tugging his crank and. And mom's laying there in her thong. Oh, the bed shakes. She never wakes up.

[Brady]

You've got a better or sometimes wakes up and joins in, right?

[John Holmberg]

You've got a better situation. I don't like that because that's her daughter.

[Brady]

Yeah, I know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like when porns do that. But you've got a better situation because there is no mom in bed. You're in there solo, sleeping like a starfish. She comes rolling. What the. What? Just what problem, Brady? What problem? Even Brady said what problem?

[Brett]

I don't see a problem.

[John Holmberg]

Bridging. He would totally hammer his son's ex girlfriend if he was a single fella. Eight times. What was it, 11 times in eight years. Yeah, that doesn't break down to a whole lot a year.

[Brett]

There's pastors and priests that have more action.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's a lot More with a little bit younger people than you're looking at. Let's see. She's 24. He's got a son, probably around 25, which puts him probably somewhere between 45 and 55.

[Brett]

He's right in the wheelhouse.

[John Holmberg]

You think that's good? Okay. All right.

[Brady]

Living up there by the open. So he's got a little cake.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yeah. How come you're not having sex? You got a house by the open. You're in North Scottsdale. Yeah, Brett's right. What's wrong with you, Evan? Besides the fact you're boning your son's girlfriend?

[Brett]

There's some pockets in there.

[John Holmberg]

There. There's no poor pockets in there. There's apartments.

[Brett]

Apartments.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, still, they're pretty pricey, huh? You say boner.

[Brett]

I don't see why not.

[John Holmberg]

You're not like, if the sun finds out.

[Brett]

I understand. I, I, I can understand where when being on the other side saying, oh, this be fine. You're not doing. I could say I would be weird if you're.

[Brady]

Oh, it's weird.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's not. You've got to push through that weirdness.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then have a talk with her, saying, due to the past circumstances, we can't ever have feelings for each other. This is a means to an end for both of us. But my thought is, Evan, 11 times in eight. Eight years. I'm not worried about her. You're gonna fall in love. Yeah, like you're gonna have a problem.

[Brady]

Good point.

[John Holmberg]

And William says. He talked about.

[Brett]

Careful.

[John Holmberg]

He talked about her skin like she's Jane Gumm. He's gonna make a suit out of her.

[Brett]

He did say that. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She's got skin like an alien lady. All right. But Brady says, well, pork away, pal.

[Brett]

Her blue, that alien.

[John Holmberg]

I like when Brady says that.

[LaDonna]

Why are you banging that Evan? Get off the schneide, brah.

[John Holmberg]

But you say yes, so what would Brady do? You say, bone your son's ex girlfriend through the floor.

[Brett]

But then I say, he's already turned it down once. That's amazing. I don't know if I would have had that willpower.

[John Holmberg]

You wouldn't have. She's not getting in there with you.

[Brett]

I'm a man.

[Brady]

It's a man's world.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine Brady came in with that story.

[LaDonna]

This girl that I've been keeping in the house snuck into bed with me last night, started touching my dingling, and I gave it to her. I didn't see a problem.

[Brady]

We'd be high fiving.

[John Holmberg]

No, we would be Man. Oh, first off, you'd have to put smelling salts under my nose. What about that? Why do you have a girl living at your house?

[Brady]

We'd be carrying him around like C3PO with the Ewoks and stuff. Celebrating Brady if he did that.

[Brett]

This exchange student.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know what would happen.

[Brett]

Grad school.

[John Holmberg]

That's a tough one. This guy said, sadly, since my wife left me, I haven't had sex in two years. And I'm a good looking guy. Just lack of confidence because my ex crushed me when she left. Left. So I get how this guy's gonna go 8 years with only 11 encounters. That seems like a. That seems. That seems like a lot. That seems like a lot. Why deprive yourself? Brady's God has given you an opportunity here. I think you need to take mow that Lawn, son. It's 9:51. There you go. Wow, that's a tough one. And I think we're all kind of sitting there thinking, wish I had a son with an ex girlfriend. What a porn moment that is.

[Brett]

That is all those had a nightmare.

[John Holmberg]

She got scared and crawled in bed with him and he said, well, cuddle up. And she did. That's hot. Anyway.

[Brady]

Yeah, but he was in on that of, okay, go ahead and crawl into bed with me.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. Well, no, I mean, she was in there. He wakes up. What are you.

[Brady]

What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

You went full. What the. What the. What is going on?

[Brett]

Are those Duluth trading boxers?

[LaDonna]

I just don't know if I could sleep by myself, I got so scared.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, hold me. I will. I. I can't. And a lot of the porns do that too. If you ever sit through the whole thing where the first time through it gets shut down down, and then she comes back later in a different outfit on another. Or it says like the next day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is exactly how that works. Congratulations, dude. You're winning. This is like weird science.

[Brady]

I'm impressed.

[John Holmberg]

It jumped out of your screen and into your life. You're asking Brady what to do. Even Brady says, stick it in.

[Brady]

I mean, you knew our answer was.

[John Holmberg]

Going to be snuggle, snuggle again, snuggle again, and then paint her. Paint her the way your son didn't have the courage to do or she wouldn't have broken up with him. Just hope that you're bigger than your son.

[Brady]

Oh, well, in the movies they usually are. So it's all, you're good.

[John Holmberg]

They always mention, yeah, you're so much bigger than Steve, but if you're not, you'll know because you'll be banging off the sides like you're playing pinball. Then you're never gonna have sex again. Good luck.

[Brady]

Sound like a pickleball court.

[John Holmberg]

That is what he just made me. Made me hear that. Two, two, one. There is what Brady did. Yikes. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Monday is cruising to a close here. A beautiful day, too. If you can take the day off and just wander around, I'd do it. Or, you know, these are those days where working from home makes sense because we all know you're not really working. That's why that work from home, that remote working thing, that's why bosses are mad about it and people are fighting back because bosses are saying, you're not really working in like, yes, I am. Well, then show up to work. No, because basically you miss out on your two and a half hour walk or coffee shop thing. You're not doing anything at home. I work remotely and I work harder than I've ever worked. That's not true.

[Brady]

You're answering emails from Postinos.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not. You're not. There's nothing about working from home that makes you a harder worker. And that's all your boss wants. But the whole reason there's the. That back and forth with bosses. Bosses know and you know deep down you're not doing it. That's why you don't give it up. That's why there's a fight. Saying, all right, everybody back to where my friend runs that company is like, I've met everybody back since COVID downtown. The radio stations, they still aren't all back in the.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz why? Well, we do just as good at home. Do you? By the way, it's the stations. The, the old building, 840. Go. That place is dying a slow death and they can't get anybody to show up to work. They're like, we're losing money like crazy. We're probably going to go out of business soon. We need you guys back in here working harder. No. Well, then you won't have jobs soon. If I could work from home and like I said, I can't do it with this job. But man, oh man, if I could work from home and the boss wasn't maybe an hour Brady did during COVID Yeah, but we have different jobs.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can't just like drift off during work, not do anything for three. Like ours is on A block? Yeah, ours. Yeah, ours is a block where people know we're working or not. If I could quietly sit in a desk. One lady that was down in that building over off the 202 that died at work and no one even knew for three days.

[Brett]

Yeah, it was. Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

And again, you know who to blame with that was the cleaning crew. They've been telling everybody they've been cleaning that floor for. It's great. It's like, hey, we haven't seen Alice for a while. She's down on that fourth floor still. Yeah, I'd have called the cleaning crew There anything funny on the fourth floor the last three or four days there, boys? See? No. See, he's perfecto. He's never a problem. Because I don't think you've been down there. I gotta be honest with you. We left a dead body in there for the weekend for you to. And you failed the test. We just thought she was siesta. No, you didn't. Yeah, that work from home thing is you're scamming and we all know it. Garbage. You know what should be required to do if you work from home? Videotape yourself and have at least zoom yourself into your own desk all day. Everybody starts showing up to work again. Jill and I always talk. She left for. She left the other day. This was the best scam I've ever heard in my life. She said she's leaving, like, right when I was leaving. And she gets here, what, 10:30?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Sales later downstairs. So she rolls in at 10:30. I'm leaving, right? I'm leaving about 11:30. And I'm like, you're done for the day? And she goes, yeah, jerk. And I'm like, well, where are you going? She goes, well, today is Discovery Day. Like, what's that mean? She goes, I'm supposed to just drive around and find new clients? Like, you're going home. You're not doing that. No. You just come back with a few names of places you drove by.

[Brett]

Again, it only works so long in. In sales.

[John Holmberg]

But still, you'd be producing more at work.

[Brett]

That's the thing they'd always tell you in sales, though. If you're producing, man.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

Go out and play golf. You know, as long as you're hitting your numbers right.

[John Holmberg]

But if you want to hit better numbers, if you just want the bare.

[Brett]

Minimum, you hit your numbers. You're like, oh, that's great. Guess what numbers are up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're going to scooch up every time.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Work from home. Who are you fooling? It's time now for Brady to work right here in front of us. The entertainment drill is brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense systems. And of course the the deal is right now, you get in on that thing and it is just the way it works at this point. It's worked so well. They're like, this is great. People seem to be liking it. Two months, sign up, get two months. 199 bucks. That's all it's going to cost for personal training and all the things they have to offer every class on the list. It's an outstanding thing to do for yourself, for people you care about. You start getting into this Phoenix open thing, you know, the crowds, the groups of people, the lunacy that could happen. I do feel a little better about like keeping my head up, looking for certain things. I don't like being in crowds like that at all. And you never know. So it's just preparation for times you put yourself in those situations in case somebody decides to go haywire and a little wonky, especially in crowds where you learn how to do the blade. Learn that day one. That's an amazing gift they give you right off the bat. Reactdefense.com it is a way to change your brain as you, you know, kind of meander through earth's presentations. All the stuff that it's got for you. Man, I tell you what, the Phoenix open makes me nervous. Last year we were stuck for 25 minutes in a sea of what had to be 75,000 people going into one spot. That can get hairy quick. That is a soft target. Learn when you're putting yourself in those situations, what to do before something goes weird. And there are things you can do, they'll teach you and the price is unbeatable. They also have that women's self defense seminar in April coming up. Check that [e-mail] as well as all the other stuff. It's the home of tactical black. Brady. Quickly entertain me.

[Brett]

Players on the team that win the super bowl this year get paid $171,000 bonus from the NFL. The losers get 96,000. And then there's a couple other players like Patrick Mahomes and Saquon Barkley. They get a bonus if their teams.

[John Holmberg]

Win their contract in their contract.

[Brett]

Had a celebrity death. John Irwin passed away. 88 years old.

[John Holmberg]

I or E.

[Brett]

E R W I N. I don't know that one.

[John Holmberg]

I know the name. Why do I know the Name he was in. See the credit?

[Brett]

Clint Eastwoods originally, back in the day. Rawhide. But you'll. You'll know him as the voice of He Man.

[John Holmberg]

It's He Man's guy.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Once you started to say the voice of the credit came up in my head.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

John Irwin. And also the cat. He was known for both things. What's the cat? Remember the cat? No, no, no, no.

[Brett]

Not Felix.

[John Holmberg]

It was the cat food cat.

[Brady]

Garfield.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Morris.

[Brett]

Morris the cat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

From the finicky.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Morris was the finicky cat. How about that? How about that? John Irwin. And he meant music playing right now. How appropriate. What have we learned, kids? He had a great thing. Until next time.

[Brett]

I don't know who the character. There was one other. Reggie Mantle in the Archie cartoons series.

[John Holmberg]

Reggie Mantle was Jughead and Archie in that. That old cartoon?

[Brett]

Yeah, but I don't. Yeah, I don't remember.

[John Holmberg]

Should have died years ago, huh?

[Brett]

Brady's phone is talking to him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can take care of that later. Pop. Pop, let's go.

[Brett]

Oh, it's my voice or your voice?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Huh? Why would my voice be coming over your phone?

[Brady]

His admissions to mcc.

[Brett]

Yeah, we'd like to extend a.

[John Holmberg]

You think I got that kind of power? I'm in your phone, Brady. Hey, Siri, play Pornhub.

[Brett]

And Jelly Roll has lost over 120 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Not noticeable.

[Brett]

Not when gonna run in the Burt Crasher and Tom Segura's 5k this year. He did it last year, but he kind of walked.

[Dick Toledo]

You know when he's gonna die?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Fanduel that. That's a. Interesting idea to have giant fat people running in marathons and 10Ks.

[LaDonna]

See, we just a little while there, Jelly Roll. Can't wait. I got a couple motorcycles we could ride around. Once you get up here, we're gonna look like those Guinness Book Brothers. I gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Let's get the hell out of here, shall we? We're done. The he man guy's dead. Darn it all. Larry's coming up Next. He's got UFest to go tickets for you guys. If you want to win them, Larry will give them to you. He's also got more information about the show and other stuff. Be nice to Larry. He'll be nice to you. Until then, we'll see you tomorrow. I guess that's it for us. So long. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erected.