02-04-25 - BR - TUE - Netherlands Making Kids Playgrounds Less Safe To Toughen Up Kids - Story On Florida Man's Theft Leads To Latest Update Of A New Deal Between Toledo And His Son Regarding Rent

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: February 4, 2025

Host: Dick Toledo, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Guests: Various listeners including Scott Haynes and Ken
Release Date: February 4, 2025
Episode Title: Netherlands Making Kids Playgrounds Less Safe To Toughen Up Kids - Story On Florida Man's Theft Leads To Latest Update Of A New Deal Between Toledo And His Son Regarding Rent

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Introduction

In this vibrant episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's top morning radio show, host Dick Toledo and his co-hosts Brady Bogen and Bret Vesely dive into a mix of humorous banter, listener interactions, and topical discussions. The episode blends comedic storytelling with sharp commentary, keeping listeners entertained from start to finish.

Opening Banter and Listener Interactions

The show kicks off with Brady humorously lamenting his perpetual tardiness:
“I'll never run a show on time for as long as I'm alive. It's never going to happen. Not even close.” ([00:35])

Listener Scott Haynes contributes with quirky facts and humorous anecdotes, setting a light-hearted tone. The hosts engage in playful exchanges about mundane topics, showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

Topical Discussions

National NFL Fan Rankings

Scott Haynes shares an intriguing update from WalletHub, revealing the top cities for NFL fans, notably placing the Philadelphia Eagles at 22nd:
"According to WalletHub, the top NFL cities. Pittsburgh, Dallas... Green Bay, Boston..." ([06:23])

Brady and Dick engage in a lively debate about the passion of football towns versus college football fervor, poking fun at the dedication of fans and the varying atmospheres in different cities.

Facebook Turns 21

A nostalgic look back at Facebook’s 21st anniversary sparks a conversation about its evolution:
"Happy 21st birthday to Facebook." ([04:34])
Brady reminisces about the early days and the company’s growth:
"The only person that could say it's not funny is him. But it's funny." ([16:46])

The discussion touches on the shift from MySpace to Facebook dominance, highlighting cultural changes and the platform's impact over the years.

Feature Segment: Netherlands' New Playground Policies

A significant portion of the episode delves into the Netherlands' controversial initiative to make playgrounds less safe with the purported goal of toughening up children:
"Bet some parents think we coddle kids too much. They're becoming too soft. And in the Netherlands, they're trying to correct this by making playgrounds less safe." ([08:04])

The hosts debate the merits and drawbacks of such policies, blending satire with genuine concern. They humorously envision "walk it off parks" equipped with more challenging and potentially hazardous play structures to encourage resilience and physical toughness in kids.

Florida Man Car Theft Story and Rent Deal Update

One of the episode's highlights is the recounting of a Florida man named Jason Vargasco who, after being denied a car loan, stole a vehicle from a dealership:
"Jason Vargasco went to a Hyundai dealership to finance a new vehicle. They looked into it and denied him. Jason got upset and stole a car from the lot..." ([13:05])

This story segues into an ongoing personal narrative between Dick Toledo and his son Alex Page regarding a new rent arrangement:
"You have a new rent deal with your son." ([14:51])
Dick expresses frustration over his son’s financial irresponsibility and the strain it places on their relationship:
"He’s been bleeding me dry." ([15:40])

The hosts and listeners engage in a humorous yet poignant discussion about familial obligations, financial strains, and the challenges of supporting adult children.

Trademark Battle: Super Mario Grocery Store vs. Nintendo

Scott Haynes introduces a quirky legal battle where a small grocery store named Super Mario wins a trademark lawsuit against Nintendo:
"There's a tiny grocery store that just won a lawsuit trademark battle against Nintendo. Name of the grocery store, Super Mario." ([19:54])

The hosts explore the absurdity of the case, debating the implications for trademark law and the potential for confusion among consumers, all while maintaining a comedic edge.

Salt Lake City Tragedy and Dodging Bullets

Another gripping story is shared about Ashton, a 23-year-old from Salt Lake City, who was fatally shot after attempting to dodge bullets in a misguided display of bravado:
"He dodged five of them... But the sixth one hit him in the chest and he's dead." ([22:03])

Brady and Dick reflect on the dangers of reckless behavior, intertwining the narrative with their signature humor to highlight the tragic outcome.

Imaginary Scenario: Rat Landlord and Tucson Adventures

The episode takes a fantastical turn with the creation of an imaginary scenario where Dick’s landlord is depicted as a rat in a human costume:
"He's a rat landlord. He has to stand on his back legs... He swings a thing, but he can barely keep his feet because he's got to walk on his back legs all the time..." ([25:05])

This segment blends surreal humor with sharp satire, critiquing real estate dynamics and landlord-tenant relationships through an exaggerated, comedic lens.

Closing Conversations and Predictions

As the episode wraps up, Brady makes wild predictions about Alex’s future, blending humor with mock-seriousness:
"When he moves back in with Toledo in June, he will be in tow. No... There'll be a young lass... a little hillbilly in a sundress..." ([17:50])

The hosts continue their playful banter, ensuring that the episode ends on a high note, leaving listeners both entertained and amused.

Notable Quotes

• Brady Bogen ([00:35]): “I'll never run a show on time for as long as I'm alive. It's never going to happen. Not even close.”

• Scott Haynes ([08:04]): “Bet some parents think we coddle kids too much. They're becoming too soft. And in the Netherlands, they're trying to correct this by making playgrounds less safe.”

• Dick Toledo ([15:40]): “He's been bleeding me dry.”

• Brady Bogen ([25:05]): “He's a rat landlord. He has to stand on his back legs...”

• Brady Bogen ([17:50]): “When he moves back in with Toledo in June, he will be in tow.”

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully balances humor, storytelling, and topical discussions. From international playground policies to personal family dynamics, the hosts deliver an engaging and entertaining broadcast. Their ability to intertwine serious topics with comedic relief ensures that listeners are both informed and entertained, making it a standout episode in the show's lineup.

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For more episodes, visit 98KUPD.com or tune in weekdays from 5:30a-10a on 97.9 FM.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com late my bad. I'll never run a show on time for as long as I'm alive. It's never going to happen. Not even close. Oops, I screwed someone. It's time for Brady to give his news. Only Brady knows before he does that. Still talking about Ken and his hepatitis C. And we're not sure what race Ken is. I'm assuming white. And he's just got a very angry hep C filled ex wife to be and that's why she called him the homo. F word. N word in the email that she sent us. But if he does like golf and she is going after him with racial slurs because that's his race. Our funniest listener, Scott Haynes said, I can think of one person in the Valley that hates Ken more than his soon to be ex wife and that would be the cart girl. Gay and black. She's not getting a tip. Ah, sorry Ken. That's hilarious. And you got bigger fish to fry right now. You don't have to worry about that being offensive.

[Scott Haynes]

Ew, fish.

[Brady]

Maybe that's why you believe in why would I fry a fish? I'm leaving one.

[Scott Haynes]

Ew, gross.

[Brady]

Gross. There's no way he was a golfer. You have to be on time for your Tea Times. All right, Scott, that's enough. Anyway, it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Brady reported.

[Scott Haynes]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. Hi, Happy National. Thank a mailman today.

[Brady]

Thank you mailman I never seen.

[Dick Toledo]

Not yours, just any.

[Brady]

Any of you see one random? That one I saw crawling out of the water, Sodomy Gulch with that dude in pink terry cloth shorts and a tank top in August at 5 in the afternoon. It was 108 degrees and they had just had maybe that was Ken.

[Scott Haynes]

Couple of basis fun facts. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have a dollar nineteen. But you can't make exact change for a dollar. And that's the maximum amount of change you can have without being able to make change for a dollar.

[Brady]

Can remember that somebody wants, you know.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't even remember it.

[Brady]

Somebody would make change for a dollar that bad. I'll just. You can have the dollar.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If someone asked me, all right, I gave you. I gave you change. You give me a dollar back. I'm like, we don't give me that change. I'll just give you a dollar. I don't need to exchange dollar for dollar in this situation. You got a buck 19. Okay, you can have that. Here's another dollar. Eliminate change. And with Elon Musk on this one all the way around, the penny's just the beginning. There's no reason for change at all.

[Scott Haynes]

Shakespeare became rich by hoarding grain and then selling it for ridiculous prices during a famine. Then he used that money to run a money lending business. And he was once charged with tax evasion.

[Brady]

Shakespeare was gouging people.

[Scott Haynes]

Yep.

[Brady]

We're just now finding this out.

[Scott Haynes]

Side deals, man. In between plays.

[Brady]

Ban those books.

[Scott Haynes]

The reason we capitalize the letter I because writers in the 13th and 14th centuries thought the lowercase I looked too weak for what it represented me.

[Brady]

It does.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's a powerful capital letter and a very weak baby letter. What are the baby letters called? Capital and lowercase? Lowercase. I just called them baby. I forgot.

[Scott Haynes]

Minor case.

[Brady]

Minor case. Ooh. All right, thanks, Drake.

[Scott Haynes]

Happy 21st birthday to Facebook.

[Brady]

Facebook is 21.

[Scott Haynes]

Yeah.

[Brady]

No kidding. 2004. Holy cow. That's right.

[Ken]

Before that, it was MySpace.

[Brady]

And just barely before, like a year, MySpace was local band heaven. And was it the Harvard Facebook that was invented? The one that we didn't know about for another year or so? Because Facebook didn't come out in 04 for all of us. It was like 05.06. Right.

[Scott Haynes]

It debuted them, you know, I mean today in 2004, it says. The only thing it says here is Napster founder Sean Parker famously got Zuckerberg to drop the word the a year later. Yeah, it was the Facebook.

[Dick Toledo]

It was just a local campus up there in Harvard. Yes, just a local campus where he.

[Brady]

Was bashing on chicks and grading them.

[Scott Haynes]

Then the Van Winkle, or V, I think that's her name.

[Dick Toledo]

Winklevoss.

[Scott Haynes]

Winklevoss. That's right.

[Dick Toledo]

Winkle.

[Brady]

Winkle. Rip Van Winkle. Woke up and said, turn it off.

[Ken]

They wound up getting paid, though, didn't they? Didn't they make a little bit of money?

[Brady]

That Social Network is still a good movie. It's so well written. And the. And the Winklevoss twins played by Army Hammer. By himself.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Before we knew he was a cannibal. The things we know nowadays. Nobody ever used to say that about. You know, back when the thing they used to say in the olden days said, oh, that was. That Rock Hudson. He was great. That was before we knew he was homosexual. Now we actually throw the word around. Well, that was Armie Hammer. He can't get job anymore because he's a cannibal. People don't. We don't bat an eye. He's not really a cannibal, but he was accused of it anyway. Let's go get some drinks. We just move on with our lives with a cannibal floating around amongst us.

[Scott Haynes]

Wallet Hub did the rundown of the top cities for NFL fans. The top 10 this year. What was interesting is the Eagles came in at 22nd.

[Brady]

Really?

[Scott Haynes]

According to WalletHub, the top NFL cities. Pittsburgh, Dallas.

[Brady]

Number one. Yep, that's right.

[Scott Haynes]

Green Bay, Boston, Kansas City, San Francisco, New York, New Orleans, Los Angeles, Minneapolis.

[Brady]

And this is just general atmosphere of a football town of.

[Scott Haynes]

For NFL. But it changes a little bit on the college side.

[Brady]

Nobody cares about it. It's just a bunch of drunken kids.

[Dick Toledo]

Changes how the.

[Scott Haynes]

The biggest cities are the best cities for NFL or for college football.

[Brady]

Well, if you've got a great NFL.

[Scott Haynes]

Alabama was number one.

[Brady]

Places without NFL teams. Number five. Yeah, it's places without Happy Valley, without pro football teams in them.

[Dick Toledo]

Right.

[Brady]

And the whole city lives for just that one college thing. A sad, desperate city is Happy Valley.

[Dick Toledo]

On the west side of Pennsylvania.

[Brady]

Also kind of in the middle. It's west of Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, and kind of between Philly and Pittsburgh.

[Dick Toledo]

Why do they call it Beaver Stadium?

[Brady]

Do you know Beavers?

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brady]

Built by. Built by Beavers.

[Ken]

Nice beaver.

[Dick Toledo]

Nice beaver.

[Brady]

I don't know. Do they call it. Is it Beaver Stadium?

[Dick Toledo]

Penn State.

[Brady]

I just knew it was Happy Valley. Beaver problem. That's Ken. He's got a beaver problem at his house.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow. Yeah, he does.

[Brady]

His beaver's throwing up and smells funny. Yuck. Bye.

[Scott Haynes]

Bet some parents think we coddle kids too much. They're becoming too soft. And in the Netherlands, they're trying to correct this by making playgrounds less safe. Sort of.

[Brady]

Finally, new policy. Weed out the pussies.

[Scott Haynes]

Yeah, they're not talking about the Rusted slides and stuff like that.

[Dick Toledo]

But metal monkey dome.

[Brady]

Well, here in Arizona, the metal parks were. We didn't, they didn't try to save our asses. Metal slides, metal handles, everything was just like it was back east. But they just built it in mass and said stuff it in the desert. Kids were third degree burnt. Some kid went to playing the monkey bars and then you'd wake up three days later in the hospital, no legs because the infection got so bad.

[Dick Toledo]

They didn't perfect plastic during your guys's time.

[Brady]

They tried, but it was just, it was just as hot. They didn't have good plastic.

[Scott Haynes]

Even with the plastic they still have to. Now they dome, you know, in the neighborhoods.

[Dick Toledo]

Put the big, they put the shade sale.

[Brady]

I knew we were in trouble when those soft ass little kids had to have bouncy foam to walk on. They couldn't just walk on regular. They had to have that. It's better for their backs.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that service is better than an NFL field.

[Brady]

Those bouncy things, it might as well be playing on a mattress.

[Scott Haynes]

The new policy proposal would increase kids access to outdoor play areas to climb, play with water and fire, Sword fight with sticks.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Scott Haynes]

Build with hammers, rope or knives.

[Brady]

I love it.

[Dick Toledo]

Build with hammers.

[Brady]

It's called walk it off park. You'll be all right.

[Scott Haynes]

It's just, it's not just about making the spaces riskier, it's making them less boring. They say more kids are sitting inside being less active because playing on their devices is more exciting than finding adventure outside.

[Brady]

You got to give them stuff to hurt each other with. Risk, reward is what they're saying.

[Scott Haynes]

Yep.

[Brady]

And you know, they should do that. They should have walk it off parks. You have the parks for your pussy. Kids with the foamy ground and the, all the soft space.

[Scott Haynes]

They call them soft spaces.

[Brady]

But what you need is right next to that walk it off park with the metal monkey bars. A couple of giant, like a whole bucket of sticks to hit each other with rocks.

[Dick Toledo]

Little tent with some burn salve in it.

[Brady]

Yeah. Like somebody takes palm fronds and builds like a hut. And they have.

[Ken]

Oh, that was Gilgan's island.

[Brady]

We used to take palm fronds and build huts. What so dangerous? Scorpions, rats, not to mention the dried up hokies that would blow through your shoes. And we'd make forts and we'd chuck rocks at each other and see who had the best fort. And sometimes a rock would bust right through your palm fronts and knock it down. Good one, Mike.

[Dick Toledo]

How big of rocks? Baseball Size.

[Brady]

Burkhart got a little. Burkhardt got a little greedy. Once we had an agreement that it was no bigger than, like, the okay symbol in your fingers.

[Dick Toledo]

Needed helmets.

[Brady]

Which is now white power. It used to not be. It used to be just the size of the rock. Can't be bigger than this.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought it was. If it was upside down.

[Brady]

I don't know what it is. I don't do it anymore. But Mike hit me with one. My palm fronds blew up. That whole tent went down like a hurricane. And I. Clunk. Ah. Hit in the neck.

[Dick Toledo]

Burkhart says I won.

[Brady]

My dad came home, and they're just dirty palm fronds all over our front yard. You go home. You get in the house. Dad, we were gonna clean it.

[Alex Page]

Get in the house.

[Brady]

And he picked me up by my pants from behind. I was pretty. He's a strong man. Because I was like, 12. And he picked me up by my pants and walked me into the house.

[Dick Toledo]

In front of your friends.

[Brady]

Oh, they were getting on their red lines trying to get home. It happened fast.

[Ken]

Did your sister's boyfriend clean it up?

[Brady]

Eventually he and his family came by and got. We can get this done, Mr. Holmberg. Or should I call you dad? You go back to wherever you live, too. And I mean that.

[Scott Haynes]

We did some stupid. We used to fight with the pellet guns. The air pellet guns. Three pump limit.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott Haynes]

Was the max.

[Brady]

Always a kid took advantage of it.

[Scott Haynes]

Always.

[Dick Toledo]

What?

[Brady]

And you get hit and no head shot? There's a 10 pump at least, you douche. That's what we need. We need tough kid Parks. And then, you know, helicopter mom parks. I want my kid to play over there in the stickin Rock Park.

[Ken]

Be Puss Park.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's CEO Park. And your kid's gonna be like, you know, need a beanbag and a video game at my office. Or I'm the toxic work environment. Meanwhile, future belongs to the bully.

[Scott Haynes]

Chinese man was trying to do a romantic proposal to his girlfriend. He hid the ring in the cake that he made. She chomped it.

[Brady]

She didn't tell her. Be careful.

[Scott Haynes]

No, it was a surprise. He wanted her to discover it. But she almost eating the ring.

[Dick Toledo]

She doesn't chew.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Scott Haynes]

Oh, she chewed and then got the ring. And you can look in the little picture there. She split the ring.

[Brady]

No. So it was cheap. She was going at this muffin. Yeah, she was throwing some teeth on that. You bit through a ring. He knew there was a ring in the muffin, and he let her go just Go ham on it.

[Scott Haynes]

Supposed to be the surprise.

[Brady]

I know that's the surprise. But you as the person who put a hard ring inside of a muffin, you should be like, chew that carefully. There could be something in it.

[Alex Page]

I try to be romantic. She buy ringing hat.

[Ken]

Maybe she's a tweaker and didn't have any teeth. Yeah, I figured he was safe.

[Brady]

Just gummed it in half.

[Dick Toledo]

Look out.

[Brady]

Why can't Chinese people tweak?

[Dick Toledo]

They're gonna get stuff done.

[Scott Haynes]

A while back, this dude, Florida.

[Brady]

The math equation's double. Can't sleep. Let's do math. Morning sickness. Medicate. KUPD Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Scott Haynes]

This dude from Florida named Jason Vargasco went to a Hyundai dealership to finance a new vehicle. They looked into it and denied him. Jason got upset and stole a car from the lot after noticing the keys were left in the ignition. He got away with it briefly. The authorities didn't have a problem tracking him down. Two reasons. One, the car had that GPS sensor on it. And two, Jason had given his address to the dealership when he was trying to get financing. He admitted to the police that he stole the vehicle because he was denied a car loan. And he said he had no choice because he spent his last $50 on the Uber to the dealership and he.

[Brady]

Was trying to buy a car. And he had just spent 50 bucks.

[Scott Haynes]

His last 50 for the month. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And his name was Alex Page.

[Brady]

Yeah. Is. How's rent going? First of the month.

[Dick Toledo]

It's paid. We have a new deal.

[Brady]

Oh, no. We'll get to that in a second. Hold on. That is a depressed dad face. If I've ever.

[Scott Haynes]

And I see that.

[Brady]

You know what I blame? You know what I blame? Soft playgrounds. Soft playgrounds.

[Dick Toledo]

Not wrong.

[Brady]

We got a new deal. February. You're just counting the days till June.

[Ken]

No, but the happiness is he's not living with me.

[Brady]

And then what?

[Dick Toledo]

And then he's coming.

[Brady]

He's gonna live with you again?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He has to.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He's not in school, is he?

[Dick Toledo]

No, he is.

[Brady]

He is. No, he is. That could be the new being. I don't know.

[Ken]

We've dropped Tucson Community.

[Dick Toledo]

Hard class.

[Brady]

He got rid of a class already?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He's a month in and he's already dumped out of one.

[Dick Toledo]

Not even a month in.

[Brady]

That's true. It's two weeks.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, started on the 15th.

[Brady]

So you have a new rent deal with your son.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You're pay. Which is basically you're going to keep paying it till June and then you move back in.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm going to pay all of it. That's all I'm paying.

[Brady]

Well, that's the whole. We knew that from the beginning you were going to pay.

[Dick Toledo]

The whole time I've been bleeding, he's been bleeding me dry.

[Brady]

Say that again real quick. For people with sperm that they shouldn't inseminate with, my son's been bleeding me dry. Yeah. Hear that?

[Ken]

Call Dr. Lynn at sunrise Rail.

[Brady]

It's just not financially feasible to keep him there.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it's. There's. There's a whole bunch going on, but it's just the motivation and malaise is setting in and all that, so.

[Brady]

From what? All that not working.

[Dick Toledo]

But rather than have this fight for every month, for the next four months, I just told him, look, I'm paying your rent, and that's it.

[Brady]

Oh, he's got to pay for all the other.

[Dick Toledo]

He's got to pay for everything else.

[Ken]

Doesn't his mom live down there, though?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, she broke.

[Brady]

Stop. Oh, it is too funny, Brady. Oh, it's funny. Don't you say that's not funny. You know why it's funny. You know why it's funny? Because it's not happening to us. The only person that could say it's not funny is him. But it's funny. High five. Thank you, Dr. Lynn.

[Ken]

God's work.

[Brady]

God's work. So, hold on. You have to pay. You've agreed already. I'm paying rent through. Through June.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brady]

Pack your stuff. End of May, you're coming home.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that was his plan. To. To come home. He's. Get this. See if you haven't heard this refrain before. I'm gonna work all summer, dad. I'm gonna save up money, and then when I get ready for school again.

[Brady]

What about last week, right before. Oh, boy.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, and by the way, me and the guys, we're gonna go backpacking through Colorado sometime this summer.

[Alex Page]

What?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Prediction he's gonna find Bigfoot.

[Brady]

Prediction.

[Scott Haynes]

You better save your money for that trip. Yeah.

[Brady]

Prediction. It's 8, 18, February 4, 2025. Okay, call him a shot. When he moves back in with Toledo in June, he will be in tow. No. Yes. There'll be a young lasso. There'll be a lady that he has to have come with him because we could do. She's Catholic, bro.

[Ken]

Couldn't afford the condoms.

[Brady]

He's bringing one home with him. And you're gonna have some little hillbilly in a Sundress she wears three days a week.

[Alex Page]

Mr. Page. No, no, I'm hunky. I'm eating for three.

[Scott Haynes]

I broke my butt here.

[Alex Page]

I got the ultrasound back today. You gonna be a grandfather blessed two times over.

[Brady]

There's two in me and I just.

[Dick Toledo]

Think about you just bringing a Tucson baby home.

[Brady]

Tucson babies? Tucson twins.

[Dick Toledo]

Twins.

[Brady]

Oh yeah. There's two in there.

[Dick Toledo]

F you.

[Brady]

He's bringing that home. That little weird sort of dirty like she doesn't ever look clean, even after a shower.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, it's. It'll be his first crazy experience.

[Brady]

He's gonna knock her up and he's.

[Dick Toledo]

Gonna fall in love.

[Brady]

She's coming back and guess what? She's gonna live there longer than him. Write it down. 8, 18, February 4, 2025. Prediction. I'm like Ms. Cleo with this one. I'm calling this. I know for sure I got this one.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, Toledo Karma's a signed everyone at.

[Brady]

For not paying bills. Here's the better part. Now that you're paying his rent, he's going to be free and easy. With a little extra cash, it's going to get worse. I don't know if. Well, he's going to Colorado backpacking so he doesn't have to save up $1,200 a month, maybe four. So he's going to have expendable money. Which means what? Chicks are going to get drinks off of this guy and somebody's catching the seed.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you grandpa. I like your ideals that he's all of a sudden got gumption to go out and earn $400.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, that a good point. He does. He doesn't have any money at all. But now whatever he gets doesn't go to rent anymore. Well, unless he gulps. But I don't think that's gonna happen if he starts gulping for cash. He's gonna come back with Ken's wife.

[Dick Toledo]

Thriller to sell plasma. Then we'll talk.

[Brady]

This is always a good story. Oh, Alex and mom can't loan him a couple bucks. She's down there just making it work. Barely.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, she's broke. The company had a down year.

[Brady]

Man, he is the Logan Roy of his family. That is pathetic. That is so sad. You're not serious people. Yes. I can't wait for Toledo to be a grand pappy this time next year. Pap Pap. Toledo is going to bring that baby in every once in a while because nobody can take it to. And it's going to sit in a chair over there and I'd have to have a talk with him. He can't bring that baby.

[Dick Toledo]

And every day there's a nice villa in Italy that Lisa and I are gonna buy.

[Brady]

Just get out of here. Run for it. Sorry, Brady. I didn't realize that that was going to take.

[Scott Haynes]

That's huge story.

[Brady]

Huge story. Sucking him dry. Speaking of sucking him dry. So is that little Philly down there in tu.

[Dick Toledo]

I said bleeding me dry.

[Brady]

You're gonna be a granddad.

[Scott Haynes]

There's this tiny grocery store that just won a lawsuit trademark battle against Nintendo. Name of the grocery store, Super Mario. Yeah, the guy's name is Jose Mario Alfaro. And Nintendo tried to shut him down, but the market's been open for a while. He made the point. Well, in Costa Rica, that's what you call grocery stores. Grocery stores. They're called supers.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, they're called super in Mexico, too.

[Scott Haynes]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, soup adder.

[Scott Haynes]

Yep. And so they. His lawyer also pointed out that Nintendo's trademark 44, 45 trademark categories, none of them. They're selling food.

[Brady]

Well, I don't think anybody goes. Like, they're just making money off of his. The name I get. Nobody goes to the supermarket thinking that Super Mario's actually involved, you know, Luigi.

[Scott Haynes]

We'Ll get a couple of dudes.

[Brady]

But they have the carts. They probably have Super Mario karts and stuff like that. So they're probably pushing the boundaries a little.

[Scott Haynes]

Two friends were hanging out in Salt Lake City. Ashton, man, 23. He was arrested after he was getting high with his buddy. And his buddy says to him, you know what? I can dodge a bullet. There we go.

[Brady]

You think so, huh? Here we go now.

[Scott Haynes]

Here's where the story, you know. So he says, all right, well, according to Ashton, he says, we we pulled out two guns, we emptied them and put the load of the one. And the deal was he could dodge the bullet. As soon as he says, I'm pulling the trigger, he could get out of the way. He dodged five of them.

[Brady]

No kidding.

[Scott Haynes]

But the sixth one hit him in the chest and he's dead.

[Brady]

You're playing.

[Scott Haynes]

According to Ashton, we did it six times.

[Brady]

So we did the Matrix. Five out of six. That's hall of fame numbers. It is, unfortunately. You're not going to play another game?

[Scott Haynes]

The last leap. Right in the chest.

[Dick Toledo]

No one to fold them.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. No one to walk away, my friend. People think that Alex should just wait a couple of years until Kirby gets her job at the record store, and then they can just smoke weed all day and make kids.

[Scott Haynes]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

Oh, my God, what a story. And he's smart enough to bleed you out. He never intended to pay for any of this.

[Dick Toledo]

That's where I'm at right now. And I realized that and I signed on the lease. So protect my own credit. Just paying it.

[Brady]

Yeah, you gotta pay it. Otherwise you start taking a hit.

[Dick Toledo]

Moving him into a studio. So that'll save me at least about 1500 bucks.

[Brady]

Oh, he has to move again?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

And he's moving into a smaller place. Did he have a two bedroom?

[Dick Toledo]

He had a one bed.

[Brady]

Oh, okay. And now he's living in one room.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, it's probably to probably today. I'll go down there and move him.

[Brady]

You're moving today?

[Dick Toledo]

Cuz we had to. We had to wait for the unit to be.

[Brady]

Oh man. That is not how I'd want to spend my Tuesday afternoon down in Tucson. Moving some kid into a worse apartment than he's already in. I can't imagine a Tucson studio. Your landlord is actually the rats.

[Dick Toledo]

I can't remember the history of his building. I can't remember what it used to be, but it used to be some. Basically like a homeless shelter probably. Then they renovated it because they realized they could make money.

[Brady]

I'm your landlord and he's in some shaky, weird kind of half human costume.

[Alex Page]

I will take either cash or cheese for rent.

[Brady]

You want cheese for rent?

[Alex Page]

Yes. Don't ask any more questions. Leave the cheese by the hole in the wall.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

I need cheese.

[Brady]

I need like $200 worth of cheese.

[Alex Page]

Megan's a burrata this time. He's fancy.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's fancy. He's a landlord. He's an owner. Fancy pants.

[Alex Page]

I like the buffalo mozzarella with the little chin stuff on top. Cuts itself.

[Dick Toledo]

Pickled peppers and everything.

[Brady]

You're not really a man, are you?

[Alex Page]

Silence.

[Scott Haynes]

Come on, Ken.

[Alex Page]

The cheese at the door. Don't try to shake my hand. They're false.

[Brady]

What's hanging behind you?

[Alex Page]

My tail. That's enough questions.

[Dick Toledo]

The rat king is his landlord.

[Brady]

He's got a human outfit on. He has to stand on his back legs for a while. He tells Alex where to put the rent.

[Alex Page]

You can leave the rent here or here, but never on the porch. Because the other landlords will get to it first, right?

[Dick Toledo]

It's highly competitive.

[Alex Page]

It's a highly competitive real estate market here in Tucson.

[Brady]

I'm gonna tip.

[Alex Page]

Will you hold me up, please? It's very difficult now. One thing I hate is that terrible gray air. It's runny and it makes a mess. Don't leave that. That's not payment.

[Dick Toledo]

You're bougie about that.

[Brady]

Holmberg's. Morning sickness. Oh, my God. I almost halfway want to go down there with you just to laugh all day. But then I realized I'm in Tucson.

[Dick Toledo]

And you're in downtown Tucson.

[Brady]

Oh, that's a curse. All right, Brady, go ahead.

[Scott Haynes]

I've got one real quick. Pretty video.

[Brady]

I just like the little rat guy telling him. Silence. My brain's working overtime on this scenario of your rat landlord.

[Alex Page]

Silence.

[Scott Haynes]

If you're ever in this town in India, this is the Super Chicken Center.

[Brady]

Hey, that's nice. Yeah, next to the Super Mario. Yeah.

[Scott Haynes]

You want to pick up some wings or something for the big game?

[Brady]

Oh, they're on the ground. There's just dead chickens. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. Where's the Dirty Dining report?

[Scott Haynes]

You see the employees back there?

[Brady]

Oh, my God. There's just people with dead bloody chickens everywhere. It is a Super Chicken Center.

[Dick Toledo]

Barefoot.

[Brady]

I saw the Dirty Dining Report the other day where a bowl of uncooked chicken was above uncooked beef on a shelf. Not like on it. Like there was a shelf in between. And the place got stacked and it was on the news. Now I'm looking at the Super Chicken center, and there are seven or 800 chickens raw on each other.

[Dick Toledo]

Commenter says the Middle Ages wasn't even like this. Oh, yes.

[Scott Haynes]

No tables. That's butchered on concrete salads.

[Brady]

Is that his new house? That's where Alec lives. Just above the Super Chicken Center. I mean, what's just chicken center? That's the super one. That's the big one.

[Dick Toledo]

Say what you want. They're doing some volume.

[Brady]

Oh, my God, there's some buffalo wings going on or whatever dump country that is. Oh, my God, my brain has got to turn this off. This cartoon that is running is so funny. I wish I could just project. Hopefully in the future they'll do that. Project a thought where I go, guys, watch this. And you say, my head just runs a film strip because this cartoon is hilarious.

[Dick Toledo]

Bring this up either. But last night he texted me. He goes, hey, I think I'm going to transfer to la.

[Scott Haynes]

What does that mean.

[Brady]

Transfer? What?

[Dick Toledo]

There's a fashion school in LA wants to go to.

[Brady]

That's money. It costs money.

[Ken]

Who's paying for it?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I said. I'm like, well, I guess you'll be on student loans.

[Brady]

There's a fashion school?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, in downtown la. Fit them. Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.

[Brady]

And you just walk in and you're a member.

[Dick Toledo]

ASU owns it now. So I'm like, well, first off, you probably have to transfer to asu and then you can go.

[Brady]

You have to.

[Ken]

Then you definitely have to go to asu, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, you transfer, you have to apply. You can't just say, I'm going to go, and go, yeah. You have to be accepted.

[Brady]

You crush my ambition.

[Scott Haynes]

Rat.

[Brady]

Landlord told me you'd do this.

[Dick Toledo]

This is why I don't talk to you.

[Brady]

You're always negative.

[Alex Page]

Your father is a liar. You will live in the studio apartment forever. Keep my knee deep in cheese.

[Ken]

Fashion school in LA is definitely gulp at that point.

[Brady]

And then he goes, oh, absolutely.

[Ken]

There's no. There's no. There might be butts about it, but, you know, it's.

[Brady]

There's the silent assassin right there. Wait a minute. Your boy wants to go to fashion school in Los Angeles? He'll pay his rent. Don't worry about it.

[Scott Haynes]

Welcome to Chapel City.

[Ken]

At least you want it to pay.

[Brady]

I can't wait till he meets his landlord in Los Angeles. Here's the rent money this month. What is a handful of cheese? What are you doing? This is my last landlord. Took it.

[Alex Page]

Sell it.

[Brady]

Oh, my God. He's in a little top hat and a monocle. He looks. He looks sort of diamond top. And he's got. Yeah, he's got a vest on. He swings a thing, but he can barely keep his feet because he's got to walk on his back legs all the time to try to prove to Alex that he's people. Got a little sign on his vest that says landlord, but the Ls are backwards. And he just. He's like a foot and a half off the ground. Alex has to pay him in cheese. I want to. I. Why does. Why, Brain? Why do you treat me like a drug addict? All right, Brett, what do you got? Fix me.

[Scott Haynes]

That's shadow.

[Brady]

I'm sorry. If you could see it, you'd be dying.

[Ken]

All right, this one's entitled. Wait for me.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm gonna buy some fabrics that has cheese on it.

[Brady]

Oh, God, the train tracks. Motorcycle.

[Dick Toledo]

Go.

[Brady]

Well, that was a center punch one. Guy crosses, he's fine. Get on his motorcycle.

[Scott Haynes]

What's with the gest.

[Brady]

Hold on. He just Elon Musk. Him too. He gave him a full on Nazi salute. That train was not coming in slow either.

[Ken]

How about this one?

[Brady]

All right, here's a gas station. Where? Oh, my God. It's an Indian crash at a gas station. All right, that guy's an idiot. It's just a crash at the gas. Does that thing explode? Eventually.

[Ken]

All right, out of gas and let's. Oh, this should keep your kids off of drugs. Just show them this video.

[Brady]

Oh, there's a guy, he's flipping out on a bathroom floor and he is spinning like an alligator. He's in a gator roll.

[Scott Haynes]

And he's.

[Brady]

He's. And there's pee all over this public restroom. He's lost it. He's sliding around floor. So wet. Oh, it is prison. You're right.

[Dick Toledo]

Public.

[Brady]

It is prison.

[Dick Toledo]

You better get your ass over there.

[Brady]

Ass over there. He's still threatening like he can control his move. Fish ain't never seen human fish before. Better get your ass over there. Hey, this place has free rent. Maybe Alex can.

[Ken]

Yeah, maybe he can get his ass over there.

[Brady]

Ass in there. He could transfer to that fashion school.

[Ken]

Let's do another car crash. We haven't had enough for the day.

[Brady]

There's a helicopter and a high speed chase. They just pit. Pit maneuvered him. He's tumbling off his car. Car hit the center divider. He shoots out the window into oncoming traffic. And then the oncoming traffic finish. He rolls over three or four times. He shoots right out that window. He's in lane three. And then another car. Can't. Can't miss him. It just goes right over the top. That guy's all done. Wow. Well, what was he running for? He was running. The police were following him in the first place. In that chopper.

[Ken]

Yeah, I'm not sure.

[Brady]

All right. Says the most R word porno plots ever. Oh, here we go. Number one.

[Alex Page]

Who are you?

[Brady]

What are you doing, guys? Planting carrots. This is my carrot.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no, don't do it.

[Brady]

Fat guy in a red Speedo and he's pulling carrots out of the ground. He's a pretty big dude for his fat and he's about 7ft tall. Really? I know, but I am very humble. Carrots. Oh, no. The skinny hillbilly is threatening the big one with his carrot. A carrot? No, he makes him grab his pee pee. Not this. Yes. Oh, this is a full on homosexual.

[Dick Toledo]

It's a real carrot.

[Brady]

Oh, that dude's got huge, beautiful breasts. Oh, no. Wait a second. Is that a woman?

[Scott Haynes]

Yeah, that's a lady.

[Brady]

Banging her with a carrot.

[Ken]

Carrot right out of the ground too.

[Brady]

And then we'll. What's up, doc?

[Ken]

And then we'll just end with this one.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Ken]

Brady's really gonna.

[Brady]

Did you guys all think that was a man too? Yeah, first. Yeah. Okay.

[Ken]

Brady's gonna have vegetable nightmares.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, he always does. Oh, here's A gigantic. Whoa. Zucchini. Is that what that is? That's it. She's tiny.

[Dick Toledo]

Aren't those like sandy on the side?

[Brady]

Well, you can. You gotta clean them. She's starting to.

[Scott Haynes]

No, that's the Q inside me.

[Brady]

This is about the food. This is so much about the. She is so little. She just. This can't be real. Okay, thanks. It is the biggest thing anyone's stuck in themselves. Good, though. It does.

[Scott Haynes]

Like, what?

[Brady]

What are you doing? Like, there's no guy that can match this thing. She's gonna have an orgasm during childhood.

[Scott Haynes]

Gordon Ramsay.

[Brady]

Weirdest thing I've ever seen. And now Gordon Ramsay shows up. He's angry about the use of the food. Now she's upside down on a pole, naked, fellating the giant zucchini. And I mean, this thing's three, three feet long, Stupid. Then Gordon Ramsay yells at it. It's a silly video, but she's having sex with a gigantic.

[Scott Haynes]

What are you doing?

[Brady]

Come on, you're ruining it. You're going to kill someone. Donkey. Put that in there. Go get her a donkey.

[Ken]

She needs it.

[Alex Page]

This month. I would prefer if you paid in excess trash.

[Brady]

What do you want? What? What are you talking about? Brat landlord.

[Alex Page]

Excess trash shall be scattered about the floor. I will clean it up with my tiny paws and my face. And I would eat it off my belly in my room.

[Brady]

But I don't want a portrait.

[Alex Page]

Silence.

[Dick Toledo]

Dad, don't come down today. I have to clean up.

[Brady]

The landlord's all over me. What's there trash all over your floor for Brent too.

[Alex Page]

Silence.

[Dick Toledo]

You're always judging me.

[Alex Page]

You and your large headed father can quiet down.

[Ken]

There you go, Toledo. This guy said, I went to FIDM. It's expensive as f it was 125k a year.

[Brady]

You're not going there, Alec.

[Scott Haynes]

Full ride.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, it's different now than when he went because ASU owns it, so he gets ASU tuition in state tuition now to go there.

[Ken]

Well, it's still gonna be 60k. I would say. Yeah.

[Brady]

Don't you still have to, like, have.

[Dick Toledo]

60 better than 128.

[Brady]

You have to have like a design book.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

These kids, like, I can just sign up and want to be part of that school. Don't they have to accept you?

[Scott Haynes]

And a year into it, he's gonna say, dad, I just joined a cheerleading squad.

[Ken]

Does he have a fashion book or anything?

[Brady]

Gulp.

[Dick Toledo]

He's got a little bit of a portfolio, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, does he?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Alex Page]

I've eaten all your papers.

[Brady]

The Greatest cartoon ever is Rat Landlord. I wish you could see it. It's great. He's barely at the door. He's pounding on it all the time.

[Alex Page]

Keep it down. My tender, very sensitive ears can't handle this new music. Kendrick Lamar's terrible.

[Brady]

Oh, I love Rat Landlord. And I love that Alex is ruining your life.

[Scott Haynes]

He hits a big Tell me to win.

[Brady]

Tell me again how love is better than not having one.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, it's a real test, John.

[Brady]

I don't understand.

[Dick Toledo]

Like I love real tests.

[Brady]

I don't think I love anything that much. I don't think that's. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. Is he? If he wasn't your son, would. Do you allow this, anybody else to do this to you?

[Scott Haynes]

You were family, right?

[Brady]

Man, that doesn't give you a right to make my life miserable. You gotta drive to Tucson on a Tuesday afternoon.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't love anybody that much at all. My dad could call me. Been in a terrible accident in Tucson. You're the only one that can help. I'll meet you in Maricopa.

[Ken]

I'll send you an Uber.

[Brady]

Like I can get you Waymo in Tucson, I think. Can you make it to Chandler? I'll help you in Chandler. Please. It might be the last time you see me. I got an idea. Facetime me. I'm not going. Don't you love me? Not Tucson love. I don't have Tucson love inside my body. I just don't thought I could get beyond it. I'm sorry it's eating you live. But thanks for sharing. Cause you know who you just made feel better? Ken. He's having a better day than you. FC Gay Ken.

[Dick Toledo]

And his wife.

[Brady]

And his wife. You know what? They might reconcile.

[Alex Page]

At least we're not Toledo.

[Brady]

That's right, batch.

[Alex Page]

What smells?

[Brady]

Oh, I've got to go wash it. I was golfing. There you go. That is your incredibly informative Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98K.