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Dick Toledo
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John Holmberg
Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. This is the Morning Sickness. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. Let's get her going. Another glorious perfect day begins here in Paradise. And I say that with guests and visitors nearby. And first things first, let's say thank you. My plea the other day to get Mesa involved in our city and our news and our coverage kind of sort of. Yesterday some dude jumped in the canal. But let's hear it for the Mexicans who I didn't even ask for. Let's hear it for the Mexicans putting us on national news, marching around over there by the Cardinals stadium, protesting, getting pepper sprayed. Now that is fantastic work to make people from the the Midwest and everything else think this is an out of control disaster. Excellent work, Mexicans. I didn't even think about you guys getting out there and marching around during the Phoenix Open. So our city, which will glow this week with weather and golf and beauty and, you know, the shots of McDowell Mountain and the golf course and the perfect day, didn't even think about racial strife. That's something we can put on TV an awful lot to keep the weirdos away. Excellent job. That's almost as good as our Confederate flag idea to keep the weirdos from rolling. And I saw a study yesterday that we're top four or five. And still people moving here like it's a destination. And the worst part is it's Generation Z. That's the one moving here the fastest. They love it here. Oh, we got to keep this at bay, everybody. So Mexicans keep up those more cops. I didn't even think of you guys. Great job pepper spraying the protesters last night. This is all if this is all a show, you guys are going above and beyond my request to make it look like this place is a cesspool. And we all know deep down it's a glorious place that everyone should want to move to. I know. I know. This is between us. Don't you? You're right, Brad. I got a little excited. Yeah, I got a little excited.
Brady
See if I can get to get a message to Jim Nance. If they're covering the golf instead of showing the Grand Canyon. Show the protest.
John Holmberg
Well, they want.
Brett
CBS won't.
John Holmberg
The problem is going to be that CBS won't. Yeah. Give us Maryville. Where's the blimp shots of Maryville? That's what I want to know. Yeah, CBS has.
Brady
Here's some areas you want to check.
John Holmberg
Out, if you could. Nance is not in control of that. But if he said a lot of problems here in this city, friends, if he could break us out like a, you know, a crime breakdown of the. Of the area. Didn't even think of that. I've been sitting there thinking just, you know, tiny little hints that we have Confederate flag stuff. The horns were such a great idea, you know, driving around with that. We did bring this into the mix, but didn't even think of protesting. Excellent job, Mexicans. Excellent job. Thank you. Immigrants. A day without immigrants. I mean, come on. This was the most that I say we give ICE the day off and let them have Immigrant Day. You guys can wander around and take one of anything you want. How about that? Just limit item to one and you immigrants can have anything you want. That was beautiful work. It was on FOX National. It was on cnn. It wasn't even that big a protest, but they were getting pepper sprayed and that's good tv and that'll scare away tons of Californians and so many organizations, too. So I don't even notice that.
Brady
What do you mean that those were. The protesters were two or three different organizations I never heard of.
John Holmberg
I'm not reading any of their signs. I have no interest in their plight. However, I do know what they're doing for me, which is spectacular. We're keeping away Midwestern old people and young Californians all in one felt swoop. How did we not think of Mexican protests? If we could rile up the blacks a little bit and have a march around downtown again, that would be pretty amazing. And to get Logan Paul to bust up a mall, even that was rough. When Logan Paul took the BLM protesters to Scottsdale Fashion Square, the outside shots of that gorgeous you had. There's nothing you can do with a camera that doesn't make Scottsdale Fashion Square in that area look good. Even when there's a protest and windows being broken, it just looks like a beautiful area being ruined. It didn't match Cardinals Stadium. And here's the other thing. I thought of this last night. I'm wondering. And maybe a cop can email me. You get a gaggle of white protesters, right? Like, let's say the proud boys, okay, start marching around. They start running around in groups and the cops come out and they've got pepper spray. Is there a dial on the pepper spray for white people versus Mexicans? Because I would assume you gotta turn up to about eight for Mexicans to actually have pepper spray spa. Yeah, the spice factor. And they're like, God forbid Thai or Indian people ever protest. We don't have. They'll just absorb it and like wave their food in the air and make it more incredibly inedible. But I wondered that. It's like white people. Pepper spray has to disperse us a lot faster than it does Mexicans. Mexicans can take the heat. It's almost like the game hot ones.
Brett
I think, for the white people, I think they switch over. They reload to the rubber bullets. Like that one dude that got jacked in the nuts down there.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they just. Because pepper spray would kill us, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just hit us with beanbags and.
Brady
Rubber bullets and everyone else around there.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You can't do that. You can't. Yeah, that's probably true. It would be lawsuits if you pepper spray of white people because, yeah, like, you know, maybe just like salt and pepper spray, like you just. Too much spice. But for Mexicans, when they hit them with that pepper spray, watch some of them just walk right through the cloud. And I'm like, yeah, that guy, you need to dial that up to about nine to get him down. That guy likes his salsa. Salsa. But excellent, excellent work last night and, you know, the news loves to cover that stuff. I didn't. Two nights in a row. We had one in Glendale and then yesterday up by the. I don't know why you're also marching in Glendale. I mean, isn't that kind of just getting in your own people's way? I mean, if you're going to make a mark, do it down there on 24th street and Camelback or something. You really want some. Some work done. Although that would be scary. I just don't understand why Mexicans marching in front of Westgate. Isn't that just kind of making people that look like you and agree with you angry. I mean, I think that's really all it is. Most people at Westgate are. Are on your side.
Brady
They are building Barbie land out there.
John Holmberg
Building. Right. Think about that. Who's building it? You're just. You're. You're making a mess of things out there. Either way, great job. It was on the news and now that had to kill a little bit of it. They said, yeah, like, we got 56,000 Californians in the last year to relocate here. Like, God damn it.
Brett
That is 56,000.
John Holmberg
That is not good. That is not good. You gotta slow that down. They're running out of there. I don't know. Most of them are still. Most of them still smoking. You know, there's still. Some of their stuff is still kind of embers and still run over here and act like this is their. Their rest. We need to make them uncomfortable. And. And man, oh, man, I just smiled. I was beaming ear. Where's the protest tonight? I might. I might. Brown face. I might Brown face and head down there. You'll know it's me when I'll be the first one down. When they even break out the pepper spray guns. They haven't even shot them yet.
Brett
Gonna change the horn on the jeep and get down there.
John Holmberg
I might. I might roll down there. I go. What's up? It's a. You guys want to make a mark peel lean and get this to them. Get this word to them. Someone who's kind of in between us and waste management open. Sure would look ugly with you guys marching around it, huh? Don't you think maybe, you know, just somewhere out in that area, just start. I don't even know what that is. If that's a lot of people say that, just get out there and start march. And then CBS would have to acknowledge a lot of those spectators were interrupted by protests marching down the beautiful road here in Scottsdale. And we have to delay the beginning of. Because of the pepper spray. Like, oh, what up, Holmes? Nice jacket. Guess what. Guess what. All those weirdos in Buffalo who can't get their lives together just saw.
Unknown
I'm not moving out there. That place is crazy. The Mexicans have taken over.
John Holmberg
Oh, you scare all those weird white women who just broke up with their boyfriend that want to leave Rochester and they think this is the Oz. It isn't. So thank you to our immigrant friends for evidently having the exact same idea I had. And let's get on the news for bad things for a few days so we can keep all these weirdos out. Let them move To New Mexico. How come Californians never look at Albuquerque like they can fix that?
Brett
There is no fixing that.
John Holmberg
No, I know. That's the problems we have got to start putting on tv. Maryvale. Maryvale needs to be. Whenever they ask for Chamber of Commerce. We need to change the Chamber of Commerce for tourism ads. Show Sedona. Show the beautiful resorts around here for, like, you know, what's Phoenix like? Just homeless shots. We need to bring that zone back downtown. Oh, yeah. Not the radio station, but the. You know, where the homeless encampment was. We need to bring that back. Get that on tv.
Brady
Bed and Breakfast in Guadalupe.
John Holmberg
No, no, no, no. We're not bringing people in. We're showing them why they shouldn't come. You don't want to start saying bed and breakfast. They'll get the idea. You just want to show them reasons to skip us, even on their plan. They don't even look at Phoenix anymore.
Brett
Imagine the commercials. Maryvale, the crown jewel of the Valley.
John Holmberg
Maryvale. Look, it's close to all the stuff you think is good. Yeah, it's right over here. And then just, like, a shot of Camelback. And then, like, man, that's close. I don't like that at all. The bad neighborhoods of Phoenix, and don't even say there's places to stay. That'll give them an idea to go to, you know, Trivago and start searching out and find the real stuff that's just for us. We've got to slow this down. Tourism's one thing. When you. When you put us on tv. I lived it at Tony Roma's. It couldn't have been more real. Every spring, snow, people showed up sad and depressed because they just had a breakup and they were all white. They hadn't seen the sun in months, and Phoenix was gonna change their lives. And they brought a bunch of bad ideas and a whole bunch of ugly here and then just started trying to make it more like their place.
Unknown
That's not how it works in Smithport, Pennsylvania.
John Holmberg
It's like, what are the. What are you talking about? You left for a reason. That is one thing I didn't understand about the protesters last night in Glendale. You're saying you want to be here and stuff, and you're upset about the current situation. I gotcha. That makes sense to me. What's with the Mexican flag all over? You don't want to go back. You don't want ice to deport you, but you can't stop waving the flag of the place you're trying to stay away from. I get your heritage. I understand that part. But isn't that America in itself? Like, wave the American flag. Holmberg's morning sickness again. For waste management purposes. Keep waving that Mexican flag, Fire a few guns and I have no problem with that. All of it. This noise needs to be on TV constantly. Oh, my favorite part of your protest last night. Burnouts. Fantastic job. In the middle of the whole thing.
Brady
At the parking lot doing the spins.
John Holmberg
It turned into burnouts and drifting. And I'm like, this is proof that they're doing this for me.
Brett
But that's not gonna help because then people from California. Well, that's fast and furious type thing.
John Holmberg
That's cool. That's a good point.
Brett
Yeah. So we gotta knock off.
John Holmberg
All right. But it is kind of funny.
Brett
Oh, it is.
John Holmberg
For a real protest sake. Like, you never saw Dr. Martin Luther King's protest. Turned into like, all right, everybody getting your hoopies and start spinning. It never happened. Like, he didn't march on Selma and then everybody hopped into cars and started to rip them around. Maybe they just didn't show it. But I don't, I don't remember burnouts and donuts.
Brett
You and the Impala.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a good spin. I haven't dreamed own an Apollo like that someday. I don't remember real serious protests ending with burnouts and, you know, drifting. Maybe that's just the new modern way. I don't remember the Watts riots going. All right, take a break. I got this thing with a drop. You can put it, you know, spin this thing. I don't remember that ever happening. Their protests kind of make me laugh a little bit. Hilarious.
Brady
You're right about the flag thing. The difference of that protest would be if there's other immigrants that came out there, like group of Iraqi people that have been living here for years and they're flying their flags. How would that go?
John Holmberg
Pretty pissed off, right? You know, and unless it's just. Oh, yeah. If we're trying to put them back in Iraq and they're like, no Iraqi flag. It doesn't make sense. I understand you love your heritage and all that. Everybody should. And I get your plight. Makes sense that you're upset with current situation. I don't live it, so it doesn't bother me. I'm not going to pretend to understand your. I don't. But I know that if I'm trying to stay here, first things first, I'm going to start embracing this place. The place I escaped is not going to be the place I, you know, I'm Waving my flag. And you didn't escape it because of, you know, like, war. You know, stuff that was just so horrible, you had to. It's a bad place to live, and the money's better here. That's essentially why you left. So don't wave that flag anymore. Although if you're gonna do it, do it over in Scottsdale right now. Please, for God's sakes, get up there. The you know what mall. Awesome for burnouts. Awesome and drifting. And also some good marching and some scaring some white folks. Is that Desert Ridge? It's fantastic. Gigantic areas. Although they do have a lot of curbs. You could still work that out in the middle. You could do some serious protest burnouts up there at Desert Ridge. I mean, really get it together. That Seneca Prix. Oh, my God, that parking lot's massive.
Brady
You could make a real statement up at Kierland.
John Holmberg
Oh, people lose their minds.
Brady
Cobblestone streets.
John Holmberg
You want to get up there, make some real. You start marching around Mexican flags up at Kierland. Those old ladies with snare drum faces and those weird turkey waddle necks that haven't been fixed yet. Oh, my Lord.
Unknown
What's going on? And I. This is not why we moved here from Dayton.
John Holmberg
No, it isn't, is it? Get closer to them. Maybe they'll move back. It's spring in Dayton.
Brady
You start rescheduling the facials, you're going to be in real. Yeah, we've done in the spotlight for sure.
John Holmberg
We've done a pretty good job of pricing out most of the weirdos. Like, the one good news that keeps coming out of Phoenix lately is that the housing prices are too high. Doug Hopkins and crew keep that up. Get those prices to unaffordable levels. You never hear this problem when they show the pebble beach golf tournament on tv and it's on the.
Brady
Yeah, they never have to worry.
John Holmberg
I never have to worry about people rolling up there and going, that's nice. That nobody in Buffalo or Rochester, Dayton ever looks at pebble beach and says.
Unknown
We'Re gonna relocate and start our lives over in Pebble Beach.
John Holmberg
No, you're not. You better bring a couple million dollars and then another couple million.
Brady
Even Clint Eastwood wasn't enough attraction, right?
John Holmberg
Clint was too low. He's like a C. Lister there financially. Yeah, we need to start showing up. But damn it all. Mexicans proud of you. Don't like the Mexican flag thing. But that's for another day. We've got a lot. We got. Barrett Jackson was just here. A lot of people popping in snowbirds are thinking about staying now. Now it's time to scare them away. Excellent job, Mexicans.
Brett
Chris Clark mentioned that Mesa did their part by bringing their comedy show downtown there a couple weeks ago.
John Holmberg
They did have that. That was a pretty good. It didn't get enough attention. It was over. And they tried to blame the guy from 12 West. The brewery guy? Yeah, that. He. He booked a dude who makes.
Brady
There's a Woman too.
John Holmberg
Oh, was it. I thought it was a guy I don't even know as a comedian. I don't really know. But evidently his controversial comedian was there at the. They have a little, like, stage.
Brett
It's like a downstairs area. It's like a private lounge.
John Holmberg
It's kind of like a speakeasy almost. And they. And then so some Nazis thought, cool. And they started to march around out front like, they. This place is awesome. And then they're like, oh, no. It brought out the wrong element. And they blamed the guy. And he's like, I didn't. I didn't know that it was going to bring out Nazis. I. How many times do I serve Nazis in a day and not know it? They just got a little loud. We. We don't like Nazis. And it was like, all right. And then try to blame him.
Brett
Yeah, that's not. It's not like it's his fault.
John Holmberg
Key to that guy's success is never bringing that comedian back. Don't double down on this or you'll lose your brewery. And they make good beer. They do. Place is good.
Brett
Good food, too.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I haven't been there for the food because it's in Mesa. Food's good. It's. Yeah, I've had their beer plenty of times, and I really liked it. Yeah. So we've done that. That didn't get enough. You know what, man, I hate to say this. Let's start percolating there. Proud boys. That's, you know, like what Trump said. Where are my proud boys at? What are you guys up to? Should be cool to see you just walk around somewhere in a group with a sign. He.
Brett
Troy Hayden on this. I don't know what he's doing over there.
John Holmberg
12. Well, channel 12 is always asking us to film stuff. It's. You know what? Get a few proud boys walking around Desert Ridge and then just walk through. Don't. Don't make us stink. Don't wreck our beautiful town. Just appear. Appear like a mirage to the people from Rochester.
Unknown
Got a problem with Mexicans in the West Valley. And then that Scottsdale just covered in Nazis. Maybe we should look into Albuquerque or Santa Fe.
John Holmberg
Yeah, do it. Do it. Sedona is stunning. They won't build new houses. Geniuses. They won't build apartments. Geniuses. They can't move all the places, like, down. They can't. Sedona is so smart. How smart are they? Sedona so smart that they won't build anything new. And they can't even have people who work at their resorts and stores live near it. The guy.
Brett
I mean, they import them.
John Holmberg
My bartender lived in Prescott. Had to drive over the mountain every day to come to. He goes, nobody can afford to work here or live here and work here. The Safeway employees, like, they're six in a button in a house. Like, you can't do it. They're like, living in. Living here is almost impossible.
Brett
All the Chris Valenzuelas are in one house.
John Holmberg
So they're driving like there's one road in and one road out. Everybody bitches about one thing in Sedona's. The traffic. They're not fixing that. They're like, nope. No new builds. No. None of that stuff. We're not going to accommodate more people. It's brilliant. And Sedona is the most gorgeous thing Arizona's got going. Better than even the Grand Canyon, which, you know, they wisely said no houses here. But Sedona basically is just stunning. You can visit again. It's the bar. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. And then they slowly roll out.
Unknown
I want to know how much it would cost to live here.
John Holmberg
No, you don't. Couple million bucks. And you got to tolerate traffic every weekend. And it's kind of miserable to live here. So don't.
Brady
The whole place gets Ren Fair traffic.
John Holmberg
It does. The whole place is an Airbnb now. Like, nobody actually lives in Sedona anymore. They just rent their houses. We need to start doing that. Phoenix, I'm proud of you. Looking good so far, Mexicans. Why this? Little late on the Cardinal Stadium. Let's roll it on over to the waste management, and you're gonna catch some pepper spray. But you guys proved last night that you're fine with that. And that didn't bother you. You got in your cars and you started doing donuts. Even the news girl from Channel 12 last night was out there. And it was a 45 minutes after they sprayed the pepper sprints.
Unknown
And they're sitting.
John Holmberg
There's a guy in the back just doing donuts. I'm like, doesn't seem to affect them. Like a super High end. Very, very hot. Scoville Factor of 10. Great stuff. We need to start showing up. We are all full up Phoenix. And I know you're going to have a few of those people who don't understand what I'm saying.
Unknown
That radioed person is a jerk. He's talking about proud boys.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Get. Get the message. I don't want them to actually have any power. I just want them to show up now and again when Californians and Rochester and start thinking about coming back. We're full. We're all full up.
Brady
Let's have a couple of wicked pisses down.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, Boston and Philly. I got so nervous a couple years ago and Philadelphia showed up for the Super Bowl. I'm like, those efforts are gonna stay. They see Philadelphia and this, they're not going home. Would you? That's literally like getting a lottery ticket in Maryville. It says you want a house in Paradise Valley. You think you're gonna go, I'm staying in Maryville. No way. You're out.
Brett
Fernando Mendoza says, Desert Ridge John. That brings heat to beans like me. We're out here hiding out.
John Holmberg
Look, that's your own problem. I'm not here to help you out getting paperwork.
Brady
I'll mention our neighborhood.
John Holmberg
I just want Phoenix to be like a massive country club. It's tough to get in. And sometimes you look around like, I'm not sure I want in.
Brett
Gilbert will take him.
John Holmberg
Yeah. There was something on the other day where women were mad that men were showing up. There was like an article that said, oh, dudes were showing up to hot yoga. And the ladies were like, ugh. And the one lady on the. She's like, this is ours. Like, we don't need you here. Men just working, like, stretching before and grunting and.
Brady
Oh, yeah, because they're so noisy.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And I'm like, well, then why can't we say we didn't want you on the Masters golf course the whole time? Every time we have something we don't want you on, it's misogyny. And when you don't want it, it's like, woman's rights. Shut up. I'm all for you saying no men allowed. Great. But dudes wanted to go in and do, like, yoga. And they're going, every once in a while, a guy will make a guy.
Brady
It for the first couple of times.
John Holmberg
It's not easy.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And Pilates, like, we don't need you in here with Pilates. Like, oh, I didn't see a sign that said no men. We wouldn't have shown up. Morning sickness. But dudes doing pilates were like, it's the only place to do it. And the women got mad. And so we just want it to be a man free zone with all your noises and your grunts. And then when. And the one lady was all upset and she goes, we get it. You're stronger than us. And one of the. Cause one of the guys, when he came in, his pre workout, was to do push ups and then lift some weights a little bit. Just like, loosen this. So we went over and he always grabs like the heaviest ones. Like, yeah, because probably the heaviest ones in there. £20. Oh. So we get it. You're strong. Okay. And she was throwing a fit. And they're like, we should have our own clubs. Like, yeah, you. And guess what would never happen. We'd build a better Pilates studio for only men. And you guys would stand outside pissed off.
Brett
You want a woman's only place? Just go to the Mercury game.
John Holmberg
You're fine.
Brett
There's gonna be no men there. You're dialed in.
Brady
But I had an idea to do like pre yoga classes before the game or something.
John Holmberg
You want to hear some grunting? The worst part is the women that do this aroma, they never want. Like, they don't want just women. They want a place that's is women that look like us. They don't want to just ban men. They want to ban. Like, they would do the mercury thing until they saw the mercury. We don't want to be here either. This is almost like being with the guys. They want a place where it's like, no, no yoga before the game. Just a lot of nice snatch in there. Thanks, Susan. Yeah, no, I take out. Look at all that snatch. You know, I'm looking at all that stretched out, you know, Pooter. Thanks. You can get a couple free Mercury tickets at the Fry's and then an hour session at the old Pilates. Pronounced Pilates, Susan. Whatever. I like going in there. Meaning Pilates. Ladies start doing all those sweaty splits, and the place smells like a fish market. I'm it. But really, what? They're prostats. They want to. They want a room of women who look exactly like them. You know, they all have the same kind of socioeconomic vibe. They don't want dudes in there and everything. So let us have our thing. Why did the news cover that with a wink and a smile? It sure be nice to have men not show up here. It's like, yeah, we've been saying that about you for years. With golf and all sorts of stuff and places. We want to hang out and like, you guys show up with picket signs. They did it at the goddamn Masters.
Unknown
We went in.
John Holmberg
We don't want you in.
Unknown
But we went in, like, why?
John Holmberg
We said no.
Unknown
We don't have golf courses like this.
John Holmberg
What's stopping you? Go build one and make it all women. You would never see men protesting the all women Augusta because it would be half finished and then it would do. It wouldn't be anywhere near as cool. Unless you hired a bunch of male architects. Yeah, they can't do it.
Brady
They get bent out of shape, too. Even on the country club. Whatever. You know, ladies day is one day of the week. The rest is like. But it's co ed. I mean, you could still.
John Holmberg
We let in. Yeah, but it's easy for them to start screaming, we don't want. We want no men here. And we're like, okay. We don't throw a fit. You don't see a line of dudes outside of curves ever. We got to get in this ladies only gym. No, Never, ever, ever start a men's only gym. Watch how fast ladies start putting their faces with their cuppy hands around their eyes into the windows.
Unknown
What's going on in there?
John Holmberg
I think it's our fault as men, too, because for the most part, every time we've started a men's only thing, it usually ends into some sort of weird escort service hand job situation with a bunch of massage parlor people. We very rarely have. Yeah, we've kind of ruined them. Yeah. Whenever we say men only, the women plaster their faces up against the window because they know somewhere inside that men's only Pilates studio, somebody's getting a hand job for 50 bucks. Like, they're kid. We're.
Unknown
What are they up to?
John Holmberg
That's really what they're saying.
Unknown
I gotta keep an eye on him.
John Holmberg
That's our fault. That's dude's fault.
Brady
What's this Down Look.
John Holmberg
We've been the ones. Well, that's just gay. If you're worried your husband's gay, Yoga, you shouldn't even go put your face up against the window. Just really consider why you think that and then move on.
Unknown
I'm pretty sure he's doing gay things at the yoga.
John Holmberg
Like, and you want to catch him or you just. Why don't you just leave before you catch him? That's like saying, I want to see his guts. Like, I don't know if his guts are good.
Unknown
I should open up.
John Holmberg
You don't want to see that. That's gross.
Unknown
Then he poked my head in there. It wasn't hot yoga at all. It was a bunch of anal sex and men. I knew it.
John Holmberg
You did. Why did you need to investigate that? If you even have an inkling that you're. He's lying to you about his. Like that guy yesterday. He's not golfing at all. He's just boning on gay guys. This says John. You're thinking two dimensional. The reason the Mexicans protested. Protested at Westgate is because of happy hour. They went to happy hour after work, started drinking, decided it would be a good idea to protest. Is that right? They got a little in it and goes, you know what? I got a flag in my car, and I've got some magic markers.
Brett
Give me another Bud Light.
John Holmberg
Let's go. Yeah, let's do this. I don't even know what. I don't. That's. I see that a lot. I don't know. But again, don't get mad at me. I'm white. This doesn't affect me. Oh, it does.
Unknown
It affects your pocketbook.
John Holmberg
No, it doesn't. I'm fine. I don't buy a lot of lettuce. Strawberries. I can't stand strawberries. Keep picking those.
Brett
Brady doesn't care.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm out of this because I don't buy a lot of lettuce. I'll. I'll order lettuce. But it's so, you know, if it raises my price for my burger, 12 cents to have Trevor and. And Braden pick it. Okay, that's not gonna kill me. You're gonna spend $45 for a head of lettuce? I don't spend a dollar for a head of lettuce. Now you think I'm gonna kick in another 44? Not happening. I'll just eliminate lettuce from my life. Then you can be healthy. I don't go to a lot of Mexican restaurants where lettuce is the top seller. I don't. You know, it's. It's in there. I don't think that's a problem for me. Who's gonna pick all the lemons? I don't know. Somebody's gonna. They'll just fall off. Eventually. They just fall off anymore. So if I need lemons, I got lemon trees. So you don't understand. It doesn't affect me. That's not me bragging. It just. I've lived the life to get away from it.
Brady
The bubble that in.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Can't help.
Brady
Everything's moving pretty smooth right now.
John Holmberg
Thank you. Yeah, Yard everything. People hate hearing that things are working out really well. I'm doing. I'm doing fine. And I got lemon trees. I can pick them myself. I won't, but I can usually hire some neighborhood kids, give them a few bucks, go in there and shake the tree. Although I have picked my own lemons. And I don't know how you guys do that. Those thorns are unbelievable. Become immune to it.
Brady
I have my lemon orange tree now. Half orange, half lemon.
John Holmberg
You know what screws those up, though? They start blending each other, and they taste like terrible fruits.
Brady
We got. We had orange. Lemon.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they're gross. I thought that would be a good idea. Yeah. They can't not cross contaminate.
Brady
You know, one eventually has to take over, I think.
John Holmberg
Well, and then.
Brady
But that wasn't the intention of that tree. That was supposed to be just a lemon tree.
John Holmberg
And oranges dominated it, much like the Mexicans here. It just started showing up. Next thing you know.
Brady
It's kind of cool to see.
John Holmberg
It's true. I had a. Was that one of bougainvilleas that they did?
Brett
Those are the worst.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they are. But no, it wasn't bougainville. It was hibiscus. And they had planted it to be sun devil colors. They started to, like, artificially manufacture the flowers to come up. Yeah, maroon and gold. Pretty cool. Until maroon and gold started fighting. And then it turned into this weird kind of puke brown. Strange mix. At first it was, you know, yellow flower, beautiful maroon stripes. Like, that's ASU's gonna have these all over the place. And then about two months later, the maroon started to get like. Like the way spawn shows up. Just this gummy, weird color ruined it. So I hired some people to pull those out of my pots. I'm not doing it. And it was for a low fee, too. Probably weren't licensed or bonded. But the job got done. So be it. Nice job out there. I did. I did get curious about the pepper spray, though. It has to be. I also think that if we started to shoot darts at the ones that claim to be migrant workers. I don't. After reaching into a lemon tree to try to get a lemon from the middle, you come out of that thing as a white person bleeding like nobody's business. You got thorns under your thumbnails. And it's the worst thing. All I did was pick one. You see those videos of people in lemon just ripping them off while this machine shakes the tree and just pulling them?
Brady
Yeah, that's that tree shaker.
John Holmberg
They're completely unafraid of the thorns. So if we. If the cops started just, like, shooting darts and we're just sticking. They don't. They're impervious to that stuff.
Brett
And we had a lime tree for a while, and I would go out there to get a lime for my vodka soda. I'm like, oh, great.
John Holmberg
God damn it. Oh, yeah, those trees.
Brett
I'm gonna quit drinking.
John Holmberg
They fight bad. Algae. If you're an alcoholic, you wanna dress your drink up. As an alcoholic, you should have to pick your own limes because it'll stop you from drinking fast.
Brett
The worst.
John Holmberg
Just one more gin and tonic. Where's the limes? Out there in that shark's mouth. Give me water. There's one lime in the middle. You gotta pluck all the ones on the outside. Yeah. And then next thing you know, you're just. I drink nothing but herbal teas.
Brett
I'll take an Aquafina, please.
John Holmberg
I used to be an alcoholic till I had to pick my own fruit. God damn it. Is that how you lost your arm? It is. I'm an ampute. Because of alcohol? Sort of. Anyway, waste management open. It really gets going today. Golf channels turning on today. They're turning on the cameras today and starting to cover it a little bit today, so. And I'm talking about the people that will watch. Wealthy weirdos in California. People not so happy in the Midwest sitting there. And especially, I mean, it's the perfect storm. It's 80 degrees here. Ice, rain, misery for all of the states we don't want to interact with. Philadelphia, middle Pennsylvania, all of Ohio, Indiana. Oh, just down the list of, like, all of them. You don't want them to be here, and now they're gonna start looking. Already got enough trouble on our roads with people driving wrong. We need to start dragging their asses in here.
Unknown
That's not how we drive in Buffalo.
John Holmberg
Oh, God. But you're not there anymore. Drive like us.
Brady
Although the one good thing is there is a bigger event kind of going on that's focusing on the Super Orleans a little bit.
John Holmberg
They don't. Yeah, but it's only for that day.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
New Orleans, they prep early.
Brady
They had a safest town in the world.
John Holmberg
I don't know about that right now.
Brady
You see what they say?
John Holmberg
But they. They really did a good job of letting people know. Maybe you shouldn't come here. They did that on New Year's Day. Maybe. Maybe no one's a little scary. Maybe we don't have everything all wrapped up. All right? We scared away all Rochester. Let's put super bowl on now we're young city, we're dumb we keep thinking that when people come here and stay It's a good thing we're wrong we all made it in time Shut the door behind you. This is a country club now. Members only. Let's get a wake up song 585-9800 a good one we'll scream it together it's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect 98 kpd.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: February 5, 2025 - "Thanking The Protesters In Mesa For Helping To Keep People From Moving Here And Getting Into What The Results Of Protesting Even Are"
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg engages in a provocative and satirical discussion about local protests in Mesa and their impact on population dynamics in Phoenix. Joined by his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and returning guest Dick Toledo, the team delves into themes of immigration, media portrayal, local politics, and societal tensions with a mix of humor and sharp commentary.
John Holmberg kicks off the conversation by sarcastically “thanking” the protesters in Mesa for their role in deterring new residents from moving to the area. He references recent protests involving Mexicans near the Cardinals Stadium and comments on the media coverage these events receive.
John Holmberg [00:35]: “Let's hear it for the Mexicans putting us on national news, marching around over there by the Cardinals stadium, protesting, getting pepper sprayed. Now that is fantastic work...”
Holmberg praises the protesters for inadvertently showcasing Phoenix as a place rife with racial strife, which he suggests serves as a deterrent for potential new residents, particularly from the Midwest and Generation Z.
The hosts discuss how media coverage of protests portrays Phoenix negatively, contrasting it with the region's beautiful landscapes like McDowell Mountain and local golf courses. Holmberg criticizes the media's focus on protests over positive attributes, implying that this skewed representation influences outsiders' perceptions.
John Holmberg [02:49]: “CBS won't give us Maryville. Where's the blimp shots of Maryville? That's what I want to know.”
He suggests that broadcasters like CBS prioritize scenic shots over showcasing local unrest, further cementing Phoenix's image as a troubled city.
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the migration patterns to Phoenix. Holmberg mentions a study indicating that Phoenix is among the top destinations for new residents, with a notable influx from California.
John Holmberg [07:16]: “They said, yeah, like we got 56,000 Californians in the last year to relocate here. Like, God damn it. That is not good.”
He expresses concern over the rapid population growth, attributing it to factors like high housing prices and the desire for a sunnier climate, while also highlighting the challenges this influx poses to local infrastructure and community dynamics.
The conversation takes a sharp turn as Holmberg and his co-hosts delve into the racial dynamics surrounding protests. They discuss the use of pepper spray by police against Mexican protesters, comparing it to tactics used against other groups.
John Holmberg [05:40]: “Is there a dial on the pepper spray for white people versus Mexicans?... Mexicans can take the heat. It's almost like the game hot ones.”
This segment underscores the perceived double standards in law enforcement's handling of different racial groups, highlighting underlying tensions within the community.
Holmberg proposes controversial ideas to further solidify Phoenix's image as an exclusive enclave, such as encouraging protests in upscale areas like Desert Ridge and Kierland to deter outsiders.
John Holmberg [17:00]: “Get a few proud boys walking around somewhere in a group with a sign. He... Get the message. I don't want them to actually have any power.”
He suggests orchestrating demonstrations that would draw negative attention, thereby discouraging new inhabitants from considering Phoenix as a desirable destination.
Amidst the heavy topics, the hosts interject with humorous anecdotes and observations about local life, such as struggles with maintaining lemon trees and frustrations with community activities like Pilates and yoga classes.
John Holmberg [28:36]: “How if we started a men's only gym, where would that end up? Inside, we'd have a lot of massage parlor people...”
These lighter moments provide a balance to the otherwise intense discussion, showcasing the hosts' ability to blend humor with social commentary.
As the episode wraps up, Holmberg reiterates his gratitude towards the protesters for their role in shaping Phoenix's identity. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining the city's exclusivity to prevent further population growth, aligning with his overarching theme of preserving Phoenix's current demographic and cultural landscape.
John Holmberg [31:35]: “We need to start shooting darts and we're just sticking. They don't... They're impervious to that stuff. So if we... they're impervious.”
The episode concludes with Holmberg reinforcing the idea that Phoenix should remain a "massive country club" limited to current residents, using a mix of satire and critique to underscore his points.
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a provocative take on the socio-political climate in Phoenix, blending satire with sharp observations on immigration, media influence, and local governance. Through a mix of humor and contentious commentary, Holmberg and his co-hosts present a narrative that challenges listeners to reflect on the complexities of urban growth and community identity.
Tune in daily weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM) or via the 98KUPD app and www.98kupd.com for more engaging discussions and insights.