02-05-25 - Watching Too Many Murder For Hire Crimes Shows Got John Thinking How We Never Hear About The Ones That Complete The Task And Brady's In Denial Ronnee Would Take Him Out

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: Watching Too Many Murder For Hire Crimes Shows Got John Thinking How We Never Hear About The Ones That Complete The Task and Brady's In Denial Ronnee Would Take Him Out
Release Date: February 5, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Ronnie

---

1. Listener Emails on Glendale Protests

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg addressing listener emails concerning the protests in Glendale. One notable email from Craig commends John for questioning the motives behind the Mexican protests, stating:

"My Mexican wife was delayed in getting home for like an hour and get dinner forever. She worked a 12-hour day and came home furious F off protesters. Exactly. You blocked a hard-working one of your own from getting home and making her white husband dinner."
[00:35] John Holmberg

Another listener, identifying as Mexican, expresses confusion over the waving of the Mexican flag at protests, questioning its purpose when the protesters are already present in the United States. This sets the stage for a broader discussion on cultural and societal tensions.

2. The Influence of Murder For Hire Crime Shows

John transitions into his main topic, revealing how binge-watching murder for hire shows has sparked a contemplative yet humorous paranoia about real-life relationships. He shares his experience of watching three consecutive episodes on the ID Channel, all revolving around individuals hiring hitmen to eliminate spouses. He observes:

"They all got caught pretty similar ways that the hitman kind of chickened out and told one of them, told a friend..."
[02:05] John Holmberg

This leads him to ponder the success rates of such crimes, questioning whether there are numerous unreported cases where hitmen successfully complete their tasks, thus never making it to television.

3. Hitman Hiring: Success Rates and Reality

The discussion delves deeper into the logistics of hiring hitmen, with Bret Vesely seeking statistics on actual success rates:

"I need statistics on this, Brett. How often does it work?"
[04:07] John Holmberg

Brady Bogan responds skeptically, emphasizing the elusive nature of accurate data:

"You'll never know."
[05:12] Brady Bogan

John highlights a real-life case involving Tim Lambesis, the lead singer of Austrian Death Machine, who attempted to hire a hitman but ultimately failed. This example underscores the risks and often the moral dilemmas faced by those attempting such acts.

4. The Reality vs. TV Portrayal of Murder For Hire

Brett Vesely adds another layer by questioning whether these crimes are more successful than depicted on TV:

"How often does somebody just go, great job. You give them the other half, nobody ever speaks of it again, and it's over."
[05:29] Brett Vesely

John elaborates on the mechanics of these crimes, explaining that involving too many intermediaries often leads to failure. He muses on the unseen cases where crimes were executed flawlessly, leaving no trace and no public awareness.

5. Personal Paranoia: Suspecting Spouses

The conversation takes a humorous yet introspective turn as John and the co-hosts begin to suspect their own relationships might be fraught with underlying threats. John jokes about his marriage, citing:

"Everybody at work thinks my wife died of poisoning. Like, she..."
[07:43] Ronnie

Ronnie responds playfully, acknowledging the jest:

"Yeah, I told him I'd keep it quiet."
[07:45] Ronnie

This leads to a series of banters where each host humorously contemplates the possibility of their spouse plotting against them, reflecting the absurd influence of the crime shows they've been watching.

6. The Psychological Impact of Violent Media

John expresses concern over how excessive consumption of violent crime shows can distort one's perception of personal relationships. He notes:

"Morning sickness. I got real. Like Kuklinski. That. The iceman..."
[10:17] John Holmberg

This segment serves as a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the potential desensitization and irrational fears that can arise from continuous exposure to such media content.

7. NFL's Anti-Racism Campaign: A Side Topic

Around the 33-minute mark, the discussion shifts briefly to critique the NFL's attempts at promoting anti-racism messages. John shares his skepticism about the effectiveness of such initiatives, pointing out instances where players reacted inappropriately during games despite the displayed messages:

"I have no idea what it is. I thought for sure Painting that on a football field would be the end of it..."
[33:08] John Holmberg

This tangent underscores John’s broader skepticism towards institutional efforts to address societal issues, paralleling his doubts about the portrayed success of hitman cases.

8. Closing Banter and Musical Segment

As the episode winds down, the hosts continue their playful paranoia about marital distrust, integrating humor with their earlier discussions. John suggests:

"You should write a book. The key to a happy marriage is always assume there's a hitman."
[23:05] John Holmberg

This leads to more humorous exchanges about personal safety and marital dynamics, culminating in a promotional segment for Action Ride Shop, where Brady Bogan announces their upcoming event:

"The new store is open... McDowell and Power Road."
[40:24] Brady Bogan

The episode wraps up with the hosts light-heartedly discussing music tracks, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor, irreverence, and candid conversations.

Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg, [02:05]:
  "They all got caught pretty similar ways that the hitman kind of chickened out and told one of them..."

• Brady Bogan, [05:12]:
  "You'll never know."

• John Holmberg, [10:17]:
  "Morning sickness. I got real. Like Kuklinski. That. The iceman..."

• John Holmberg, [23:05]:
  "You should write a book. The key to a happy marriage is always assume there's a hitman."

Conclusion

In this thought-provoking and humor-laden episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness," John Holmberg and his co-hosts explore the unsettling blend of media influence and personal paranoia. Through candid discussions and witty banter, they dissect the often unreported success rates of murder for hire cases and humorously project these fears onto their own marriages. The episode not only entertains but also subtly critiques societal issues, making it a compelling listen for those intrigued by the intersection of media, psychology, and personal relationships.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com thank you miles to nowhere. It is. It's lovely. What a fun way to wake up. Got an email from a guy that said thank you John, for being the only sensible member of the media and saying that why asking the Mexicans why they're protesting in Glendale and you said, quote, aren't you just getting in your own people's way? My Mexican wife was delayed in getting home for like an hour and get dinner forever. She worked a 12 hour day and came home furious F off protesters. Exactly. You blocked a hard working one of your own from getting home and making her white husband dinner. That's from Craig. I don't understand protesting out there. Another guy said, I am Mexican and I don't understand why they wave the Mexican flag at protests about staying here either. Yeah, it's above my pay grade. I haven't figured that whole thing out at all because I've never seen anybody like getting on a plane to go back waving the flag, excited. But when they're here, they wave it to scream that they're here. I get it. I want you here. I got no problem with you guys being here. I just don't get waving that flag like you'd think that that would. The only thing I see is like oodles and oodles of people running towards the United States and I don't see a whole lot of flags being waved. I don't see a whole lot of heritage being put on display at that moment. I understand. I get it. But if I went over Sweden, started to say I want things to be my way and started waving the American flag, I think they'd shoot me. I'd say they should. Seems kind of counterproductive, that's all. Here's a where my brain is right now and this is a weird thing to bring Up. And I've been kind of tap dancing how to do it. I watch a lot of murder shows. And last night on the ID Channel, three in a row, overnight, staying up all night overnight, three in a row, all of them. And they had a whole show. I forget what it was called. Like, hitman, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And all three people were like two men, one woman, hiring a hitman to kill their spouse. Right? Prices range from like $4,000. That was kind of the messy Ohio one, to 22,000 something. And then a promise of a car for a lady in Humboldt County, California. And then somewhere in the middle, like 17,000 for some people in the Midwest. They all got caught. And they all got caught pretty similar ways that the hitman kind of chickened out and told one of them, told a friend, and the friend said he could get a hitman. So it was like, there are too many people involved. And then the story started to get around. Like, you know, I helped Susan hire a hitman, and, you know, you can't. You can't bring Brady. And I want to. I want to kill, you know, the middleman. I'm going to kill her. Do you know anybody? And then the next thing you know, you get somebody with morals is going to end up in that. You got to do that all one to one. That can't be a triangulation. You can't barter that down. I'll tell you what. I'll trade you this for that if you can get me a hit man. You got too many people involved.

[Brady Bogan]

Anybody nowadays.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't. It made me wonder, though, that there's a television show with the title of it dedicated to people hiring hitmen to kill their wife or husband. How many? Well, I need statistics on this, Brett. I don't know what. You can go to the Mob Bureau of Stats. How many times does it work? How many people out there right now did it and didn't get caught?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that's just it, you know, Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

But they know, like, there's people in a car right now going, like, you know, people who got flowers and sympathy poon from co workers because their wife died. They never got busted. Because if there's a show to talk about, how many times it's happened where it didn't work. There's an entire population of people who have succeeded at this.

[Brett Vesely]

And you're talking about multiple angles, whether it's an accident, whether it's shooting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no. We're talking about hitmen. You hire someone to kill yourself.

[Brett Vesely]

I know, but I'M saying the hitman has different.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how. I'm just saying, if you hire harder.

[Brett Vesely]

To track, if it's a shooting, why say, oh, my wife was. You know, you see how many cases that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no, you're not gonna get an actual statistic. Yeah, you're gonna get a guess. But I'm saying, like, what is the percentage? But the math adds up that if there's this many that have. If there's this many hitmen for hire, that means it's a business, it's happening. How often is it? Do you get caught? More often than not. Or is it the other way?

[Brady Bogan]

You'll never know.

[John Holmberg]

We'll never know.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, look at Lambisis.

[John Holmberg]

Tim Lambisis. That's exactly right. Now he got his hitman, got cold feet. Wasn't he a cop? Like, I think he hired a cop or something. 10 grand. Lead singer of Austrian Death Machine, and nobody likes to talk about his other stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Stepped up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Throw some more money.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, geez, come on.

[John Holmberg]

10,000. You got money, right? I think. But, you know, it didn't work for him. But when does it. And that's scary to think about because it's, you know, it's an. It's a service provided by a certain group of people. And it seems real easy, according to the ID Channel, to find someone that'll say they'll do it, and then usually it isn't because the guy gets, you know, they get cold feet and it doesn't happen. And then somebody starts mouthing off, where's my money? And they want their. Their, you know, you do a down payment. Evidently, according to the ID Network, you give them half up front, half when the job's done. So I hear that's what Brett may or may not know some of the inner workings of this. But then I started to think, well, if that's going on and the hitman didn't get the job done, you. And you got busted because you started shouting about money and the person you wanted debt is still alive. How often does it work? How often does somebody just go, great job. You give them the other half, nobody ever speaks of it again, and it's over. I mean, it's hard.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, how often does the grifting happen? I need half down. Give him half.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. That's the risk you take. Oh, and majority of the time, call about it. Yeah, you can. And they do. A lot of the times, that's what the ID Channel says. They hire a hitman, he leaves Town. You talk to the person you tried to hire through, and they're like, I don't know where he is. And the next thing you know, you're. You're saying you got robbed. Because a lot of the times, the people who are hiring to kill are trying to get money through an insurance policy. They're broke. So the reason they're killing, or the bigger one, is they've got a ton of money they don't want to give to the other person, and they want them gone so that way they can have everything for themselves. But the hitman takes off, and they're like, well, without. With this guy's still around. I need my money back. So then they start barking about money, and then somebody spills the beans. It's rarely the person who hired. It's the one afterwards. It's the person who knows that shouldn't. You know, like, if I hired Brett to do the hit and Brady was in the room, you're gonna be the one that screws it all up, because you'll tell Ronnie John hired Brett to kill someone. And Ronnie would be like, that's wrong.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I told him I'd keep it quiet.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I never made that promise. And the next thing you know, I'm getting tailed all over the city, and Brett and I are in cuffs together going, hey, Brady's mother, River, this. You know, he mad at you? They involved for this? Like, there's nobody that says, ah, hitman never work. It doesn't work. It's. It happens so much. There's a TV show about it, and they have, evidently, loads of stories to tell. Tomorrow on Hitman Marathon. The Hitman marathon. That's. That's 20 of them. So I'm just curious like that because there's somebody out there listening right now. We have a big enough audience. Somebody out there listening right now. This is uncomfortable. Everybody at work thinks my wife died of poisoning. Like, she.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you think of a percentage of a person that, like, they run into them? Like, you know what? I'll do it. Like.

[John Holmberg]

Like just some guy. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

There's like, oh, for five grand, yeah, I'll do it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that person. You hire some hobo for 5,000 bucks, and.

[Brady Bogan]

And you get what you pay for.

[John Holmberg]

You get what you pay for. You got to hire professionals. What Brett said. And he's available for weddings. Oh, I never said that I'm available D.J. a wedding, if you know what I mean. It's his way of painting houses. I'm not saying it should be A thing I'm saying I would like to know, because I know it is. I know for a fact that in Paradise Valley, there's a few dead husbands or dead wives that everybody gave, you know, at the funeral. So sad. So sad. But deep down, this dude, you know, did the work, got rid of the girl, because that's usually how it works in the. If it were to work out on all these shows that somebody spills the beans on, it's smooth sailing from that point on. They don't make it. You know, it's usually just like a random hit, and the mistake is made when they don't get her or him. But the one with the. Like, this lady had some jewels. He's like, break into the house. She'll be there. Go and start rifling through the jewels. When she comes out, killer guys like. You got it. He said, keep the jewels. That was part of the payment. Well, he hired someone that the wife actually knew. So the dude's staying in the bedroom. She knew him. She got away. It's Fargo, you know, she starts running around. Next thing you know, it turns into this blood trail. And, like, oh, no. She runs the neighbor's house. And it was interesting. And all I thought was, well, these are always interesting to me. What about the times it works? We'll never know. Like Brett said, if you're good at goes away.

[Brett Vesely]

But I told her not to rent that wood chipper.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Start questioning the widows at work is what I'm saying. If you got a lady there. That took a lot of.

[Ronnie]

It's just so sudden. We lost him in a burglary attempt.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I know what's going on around here.

[Ronnie]

It was so sad. Me and my new husband, Trent.

[John Holmberg]

He got on Trent pretty quick. What was he doing before again?

[Ronnie]

He was cleaning the pool.

[John Holmberg]

I see.

[Brady Bogan]

You're a sucker, Terry. Driving a Bentley now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A pretty healthy insurance policy there, didn't he? For a lady who wasn't working ever, and suddenly living the high life with the pool boy. How often has it worked? Look around your family. Start asking questions. That's all I'm saying. Everybody's got a family member who has a dead aunt or uncle. That kind of was like. That was mysterious. Not necessarily. That was murder. Mysterious like that. Just that death kind of shocked all of us.

[Brady Bogan]

It was murder.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe. I mean, we're fascinated by murder. There's murder shows dominate.

[Brady Bogan]

There's networks dedicated to it, for the most part.

[John Holmberg]

I watch one constantly.

[Brady Bogan]

So does my wife.

[John Holmberg]

The ID Network is all about, like, Horrible things people have done. And those are the ones we caught. And then, like, footage. And we talked to them like, so, you know, maybe go home and talk to your spouse today.

[Ronnie]

You thinking about killing me at all?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Ronnie]

Why would I do such a thing?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I think you would do it. Just ask me. We see each other an awful lot.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of times. It's like they found Jethro at a bar or something and offered him 500.

[John Holmberg]

Well, again, would you pay for. Exactly. And when you. And in that situation, you have to talk to someone else that goes, I know a guy. Now you've got three people involved. You can't do that. You have to meet an actual hitman for this to work. Morning sickness. I got real. Like Kuklinski. That. The iceman. Yeah, that dude was a hitman for the mob and then for hire. So if you ran into, you know, the Iceman at a bar and said, so, what do you do for a living? He'd tell you, I'm a murderer. Oh, really? For a fee. Okay, well, do you have a card?

[Brady Bogan]

Check out my Instagram page.

[John Holmberg]

See my work on Instagram. I do a lot of my art. I'll photograph. I'll do whatever you need. I. I do weddings. So I'm just curious, like, the percentage of that. Like, they catch him a lot, but it can't be a 0% success rate. There's got to be an awful lot of hitmen that got it done. The wife or husband raked in everything they wanted and moved on with their lives. And on top of it, got a load of sympathy for it. You show up to work with a dead wife or dead husband, and everybody's like, oh, the last thing they're gonna do is go, I think you did it. Like, even if they did think you had something to do with it. Like, me talking right now.

[Brett Vesely]

You sure are happy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Megan turns up dead today, this conversation is going to get you. Like, the cops always think it's the husband or the wife. Your friends don't, but the cops do. Every time. The first person to suspect is the husband, the boyfriend, the wife, or the girlfriend. That's a thing. And they'd go, oh, you're talking an awful lot about hit men. And, like, I was curious about something. It doesn't look good now that, you know, if I came home to a bloody mess or Brady did in even this conversation here. Brady went home. Slaughter festival, like you guys were.

[Ronnie]

I wasn't talking about it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you didn't interrupt him, like, Everything you do now is suspect. Everything. It's interesting. It's because I'd watch that channel, too. Like, guys on their deathbeds going, I remember my old wife 40 years ago. Yeah. I offered her. No kidding? Tip of the cap. Well done. How much? At the time, it was 12,000. It equates to about 35,000. That's a good number. That's pretty good. But a lot of those dudes out in. You know, it was either that or a prenup. You get a prenup. That way you don't have to pay them as much. That's almost like a financial hitman. You don't get a prenup, and you're living in a house over there on the Biltmore, and she gets fed up with you and starts talking about doing other stuff. Or he gets fed up with you and you start wanting his money. Like, it's. It's. I don't even think it breaks down to, like, men do it more than women. Because According to the ID channel, it's about 50. 50. The murder comes from either direction. Brady's nervous. I can see it. His eyes. Jesus.

[Ronnie]

Ronnie's gonna kill me.

[Brett Vesely]

I gotta get my money back.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of that. Oh, and I scare you right now. Lottery, insurance, inheritance, and just general hate. Those are the top four. And there's a few of them like, I don't want to share this. This is my lottery. Yeah, There was one girl that won a. It wasn't the lottery, but it was a sum of money through, like, a drawing and a lottery system type thing. And she didn't tell her husband. He found out about it and he wanted some. Next thing you know, he's got two, like, chunks of lead in his neck, and he's telling somebody through a whiteboard at the hospital like he was. She didn't finish him. And it was over, like, $20,000. It wasn't much, but it was hers. Like, shoot, this is. I'm keeping this and I want to share this with you. Things aren't going so great, and then I fell under the honey pot, and now you want. No. Usually the word half gets involved. So if you're in that situation right now, take a peek. You're not going to kill me, are you?

[Brady Bogan]

And remember, you get what you pay for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

That's all I'm going to say.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Brett's. Brett' the approach of the actual person who's going to hire Hitman. I'm saying just be curious that a hitman may Be looking at you. I watch too many murder shows, but there's an awful lot of these stories. Just be curious. That's all Brett's saying, find the right guy. I'm saying, well, if you're gonna do it. Well, no, I'm not. I'm not talking from the perspective of the person hiring.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't mess around.

[John Holmberg]

I'm coming from the victims.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't cheap out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gonna hire anybody to kill anyone. I'm not. I'm coming from the perspective of the victim. Oh, yeah. I'm worried that could come to me, that I'll have a hitman find me. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't get the great value.

[John Holmberg]

He's still going about the hiring process. I don't think that. I don't think you should.

[Brady Bogan]

He's trying to help people.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. All right? I'm trying to help him the other way. Saying, don't trust your wife. She's trying to kill you is what I'm saying. You're saying, hey, if you're gonna kill her, do it right. Strike first and do it right.

[Brady Bogan]

Cobra Kai, strike first.

[John Holmberg]

Do it right the first time. And by the way, if you want it done right, do it yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

And there's only one person involved.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, see, and you can't talk about this stuff because people are like, see, I wasn't worried about you and Megan, John, but now I am. Bring up that she wants to have an unfortunate. No, no, I'm not saying I would. I'm saying she's going to try to kill me. That. That is very reasonable. That is a feasible thought to me.

[Brady Bogan]

What, Megan's gonna kill you?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. After watching all these shows? Absolutely. It doesn't cross my mind.

[Brett Vesely]

Is she watching them, too?

[John Holmberg]

No. Sometimes not as much as me, because I'm up all night, so I'm watching in the middle of the night a lot of these things, and then your brain starts working. You're alone. A little isolation thing. You're like, that bitch is trying to kill me. Like, it runs through your head. Like, shoot. No reason for. Also, you know, personal insecurities start coming into play. Like, what the hell do I offer to her life alive. Like, it's. I'm, like, dead. She's got a better world. A, it's without me, and B, she's got everything. Me dead. I mean, who's gonna do the laundry? It's. It's horrifying. You think I know what dog gets what pill? I have no idea. But I'm not that necessary because If I die, there's actually a little nice bump in pay. Like, the payout goes up, everything becomes one person's thing, and you can live with whoever you really like. I don't see it happening on my end. The other way for sure. If you put a percentage on it. 95% chance she'd kill me. 5 to 7% I'd kill her. And that's only. And again, a lot of it has to do with I don't want to go to jail. Like the black crank and stuff scares me to death. Like, that is a deterrent. Women don't have that. They just go make friends. It's like being at a Curves, you know, they're all women's. Awesome place, like Postina without the wines, which Postina would jank them. You're just drinking piss instead. Yeah. And they seem happy about it. Yeah, I'm just, you know, just saying. Yeah. Brady's gotten conspicuously quiet. It's running through his head right now. She's gonna kill me, and that's a good thing that I've done my job. Brett sounds like he's got a punch card. You get the fifth one, and you get a meatball sub. Next one's free. Good for you, kid. Good for you. I would like to suggest. And I'm not, you know, I'm not your consigliere or anything. Stop getting married. This is four, three times. Not charm, but I think it's happening a lot more than we know. In order to necessitate an entire show where executives at a network said, there's so many hitman shows, we need to put a. We need to focus singularly on that for a specific show, and they have a show about it, and I think it said. It said season seven or something where I look like Jesus Christ. They're doing 13 a year. Seven years a year, a row. Be warned. A lot of them are people who don't want to leave because then they have to to divide time with kids so they'll actually kill the spouse so they get full custody. It's crazy. So, you know, go through work today, find that sad dude in the corner whose wife died, and just start asking a couple what happened, because nobody ever gets into the. What's going on? I don't want to talk about it. Of course you don't. You murdered her. What? Just see what his eyes do.

[Brett Vesely]

She fell on a knife.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's like the end of the O.J. documentary when the guy looked over at O.J. and said, what happened that night? And O.J. goes, what'd you think? And he goes, it could have been a friend. And told him. But I told him the truth. I said, I think you did it. And then OJ Fessed up. She didn't come to the door with a knife. She'd still be alive. And his friends are like, oh, my God. I didn't expect that. And then he left. So, anyway, just keeping it out there. Women, they're not off the hook on this one. You're the one who do most of the killing. There's a whole. There's an entire channel of women losing it on their husbands. When wives kill or something. I forget what it's called. But they just love killing us. And I don't blame them. Makes sense to me.

[Ronnie]

Jackass. Home again.

[John Holmberg]

Every time you hear the garage door open, you know he's about to come in. Christ, the grunt. They don't even like us grunting in yoga class. They want to ban us from that. Brady, make a couple of. Just be inquisitive about this. Your eyes are telling a story. Brady sat back in his chair and listening to this like this was educational. A lot of people out there doing the same thing, making a lot of good points. We don't think a hitman's coming for us. That's arrogance. You know what makes everyone a better spouse? The assumption there's a hitman coming for you. Makes everybody a little bit better at being a husband or a wife. Man, she might be trying to kill me. I better turn it up a notch. Here's some flowers, honey.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I gotta make a phone call.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Guido, not today. No. Things are going really good today.

[John Holmberg]

All right. You got it. Mrs. Bogan.

[Ronnie]

I made you a pulled pork sandwich. Oh, my God, Brady, that's so nice. But I ate it on the way home. Guido, I'm gonna need some help tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Did he eat the sandwich again?

[Ronnie]

He did.

[John Holmberg]

I'm on my way. Mrs. Bogan? Yeah? I would never think. I would never think that Brady would kill Ronnie. But I think Ronnie would kill you. You, I'm not so sure about. 50. 50. I think you have it in you. And I think definitely Mathias.

[Brady Bogan]

She definitely does.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to have. You're going to live forever. The two of you. Always worried that the other one's thinking about killing. You can't have that imbalance. I think you have to have that 50. 50 balance on. This bitch might kill me. And she has to feel the same about you. You can't be comfortable that the person you live with every day Isn't going to eventually want to kill you.

[Brady Bogan]

Sleep with one eye open.

[John Holmberg]

That's the key to a happy. You should write a book. The key to a happy marriage is always assume there's a hitman. The corner for both of you.

[Brett Vesely]

Do's and don'ts.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe a couple of, you know, accidental on purpose hits gone wrong to remind.

[Ronnie]

Her, hey, this guy tried to kill me.

[John Holmberg]

You don't say Brett. Brett Brady. We need to look at Brett and say Brett. Congratulations. You have the perfect relationship. Morning sickness. 88Kd Holmberg's morning sickness. Both of you are about halfway in, halfway out of killing each other. I've seen Matthia look at you in my eyes. Yeah. Oh, no, she's got it in her. Oh, yeah. 100%.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not denying that.

[John Holmberg]

Look at fat, happy and dumb over here thinking it never happened to him. He's gonna end up with his head on a pipe.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, well.

[Ronnie]

Oh, well. Valerie.

[John Holmberg]

Murder is wrong.

[Ronnie]

The Bible tells me so.

[John Holmberg]

Getting murdered full of the Bible's full of that. Keep your eyes open. That's a boy. You know, this little talk led me somewhere and I really like that. I look to Brett, go to couples counseling, they never talk about that. You guys should always think about the other one almost killing you. Fitty, fitty.

[Brett Vesely]

As long as you know, I know.

[John Holmberg]

Always be on alert that she'll do it. Oh, and maybe just have a girl that's like a little bit. She would do this. Like you have it in your brain. You know what relationship I don't trust. She would never even think about killing me. Oh, yes, she would. You're oblivious. Jury's good is dead. You might as well just lay down next time you see her. You should drive a hearse. Just to be ahead of the program, just to be overly prepared. All right, I like this Brett. I'm gonna. We're gonna start charging people to call Brett. How's my marriage? How can I make my marriage better? Introduce her to a friend that has a silver sidearm.

[Ronnie]

Your friend carried that gun. It's all silver.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he gets some things done around.

[Ronnie]

Why do you. Why have you befriended him?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. And just have that guy come through the house and look at things like pictures, equipment, like expensive stuff. Hey, Brett, how much does this cost? That was about $85,000. Put it on the list. And don't ever explain why he said that because he gets to keep some stuff in the house if he gets the job. And then if you're at home and she brings Home. A guy with a silver sidearm.

[Ronnie]

This is a guy I met over at the gym.

[John Holmberg]

How you doing? How you doing, Veslie? How you doing? Hey, Ms. Vesli. How much is this?

[Ronnie]

Oh, you can have that when the work's done. I'm gonna hire him for some stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, I know what's going on around here.

[Brady Bogan]

We have an appraiser coming over as.

[John Holmberg]

Often as Brady answers the door. How easy it would be for Ronnie to get a Mormon mission. I'm worried about it. So you get a Mormon missionary to just show up and stand with you. He doesn't even have to knock.

[Ronnie]

Oh, a new friend awaits. Hi, friend. How are you?

[John Holmberg]

Hi. Are you Brady Bogan?

[Ronnie]

Sure enough am.

[John Holmberg]

Easiest day of my life. Normally I have to chase him.

[Brady Bogan]

Ow.

[Ronnie]

Hey, that didn't get all the way through here. Put it closer to the hole you already made. That's better.

[Brady Bogan]

Just trying to help.

[Ronnie]

Just trying to help out my new friend Ronnie. And bleeding out in the porch again.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have it in the back your mind. She'd kill you.

[Brett Vesely]

Not right now.

[John Holmberg]

Have you. You never have feared that. You need to fear it regularly. I think it was gone. Are you more valuable to her alive than dead? Honestly? See, the fact. Yeah, the fact. Oh, the thought process. No, she'd be fine. No, she would not be fine financially if you died. Do you have an insurance policy?

[Brady Bogan]

He's canceling it right now, but it's not like.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have credit cards? Because they'll give you a kick out when you die. Do you have anything at this work that says, yeah, yeah, you get she.

[Brady Bogan]

I think we all do here?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's why I'm honest with myself and he's not. He thinks he has value at the house and he doesn't. Are your conversationally so valuable, intangible things.

[Brett Vesely]

That I bring to the.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. And you know what? They are. Because every time I see Ronnie, she's like, thank you, John. When I said Brady, you just don't listen. I never hear her go, brady's just the best conversationalist. And all he does is listen to me and care. All she does is talk about things.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't do because the company has insurance, life insurance on all of us. And you can up it in, like when we do our benefits every year. And Matthias was. Did you up it?

[John Holmberg]

Hell, no. Hell, no. I don't have an insurance policy. I don't have an insurance.

[Brady Bogan]

They canceled my ass.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. You want to off me you're not getting any state farm insurance from my ass. That's dumb. For the kids. You kid isn't going to get that. Especially Now Kirby's pushing 18 couple years. So now your insurance policy would be for her. So if anything, you're in that you're in the green zone.

[Brett Vesely]

Both of them.

[John Holmberg]

Mike. Yeah. You're here.

[Brett Vesely]

Get together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Good is gone.

[John Holmberg]

I certainly. Yeah. Do you think you add an intrinsic value that's just non murderable?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Me neither. Come on. That you can't be replaced easily tomorrow.

[Brady Bogan]

Not at all.

[John Holmberg]

You think that you're so. Yeah. You especially wandered around there thinking that you just did wander.

[Ronnie]

Nobody could ever replace these haunches.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. In a day. She's. She's a beautiful woman. In a day. Absolutely. So you walk in there thinking you add anything to this party is silly. You should be worried. We all should be worried. No, not at all.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Why.

[Brett Vesely]

Why would I go around.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say that. You go around worried, it should be in your brain. I could tell the way this conversation was unfolding, the way you were looking at me like you didn't have a word to say.

[Ronnie]

This is horrifying. I'm gonna go ahead and start humming Valdery.

[John Holmberg]

No way. You gotta be valuable. And I don't know where my value lies.

[Brady Bogan]

You and me both.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm affable. I'm enjoyable to a certain degree. I wouldn't want to live with me every day. And if it started coming down to it, getting rid of me is not a bad idea. You know who should really be worried? Frank Calienda. That wife of his has like her brother's super Italian, like more than Brett, like by a lot. That dude is Vito.

[Brett Vesely]

You got.

[John Holmberg]

Caliento is one that should be worried every single day. His value.

[Brett Vesely]

But he's part of the family too.

[John Holmberg]

Who do you think gets killed fastest? Outsiders.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but that's his brother in law too, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So that's not immediate. Immediate.

[John Holmberg]

I mean that's. You know, hey, it's anything for his sister. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you gonna do?

[John Holmberg]

He's a good earner.

[Brett Vesely]

Right now.

[John Holmberg]

He'd be a great earner. Dead. She gets everything you think she doesn't have. There's policies and he's. He's one that should work. So just. You know. I watch a lot of murder shows. I think think a little different. And I've discovered through this morning's talk that Brady's marriage is in huge trouble. And Brett's is the best. I've ever seen. I would have never thought that. Like, yesterday he asked me. I'm like, oh, I'm. Nope. Nope. I should have been killed years ago. No. Insured. You have an insurance policy on yourself? No.

[Brady Bogan]

Why would I do that?

[John Holmberg]

Same. I don't either. There's no way. People say that like you don't have life insurance. What happens if some. What happens if something happens? She killed me. You get in a car accident, shouldn't be worried about how much she gets. I went to Susie downstairs and asked.

[Brady Bogan]

Her to take the insurance company.

[John Holmberg]

Get rid of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I don't want that.

[John Holmberg]

I want to check for zero to show. Can I do that? Just a reminder, keep myself safe. Life insurance.

[Ronnie]

What happens if you die? What happens to me?

[John Holmberg]

You're worried about the payout. What happens to you in my brain is I hope that you can't go on because emotionally you've been destroyed. Your first question is, how much do I get in just the scenario? No insurance policies? No.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, if you do, you just change the beneficiary.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Ronnie]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You just don't have it.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't get it.

[John Holmberg]

Just don't have it. Then. Then she's going to kill you. She's angry.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You're screwed either way.

[John Holmberg]

You are replaceable. You walk home every day just working the outfit and occasionally turning some fuse boxes on and off. That's about all you're good for. For fact.

[Ronnie]

I like him enough.

[John Holmberg]

Like, that's basically it until she does it. She's not worried you're going to hire a hitman. So she's living free and easy. Matthias worried.

[Brett Vesely]

And that's when it happens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's worried constantly about it. She's on her best behavior.

[Brady Bogan]

Both of us are.

[John Holmberg]

And so are you. That's a good point because I could see Matthia totally.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Having at it with you. I've done with this jackass. And that's what keeps you two ticking. Absolutely beautiful. Really, when you think about it. It's quite pretty. I think it's fantastic. But I just wondered how often it worked. Also, another thing that statistically evidently didn't work is the NFL's message to us in the backs of the end zone. Let's say end racism. Those will no longer be. Are we getting rid of that? They're getting rid of that. It's gonna say, choose love. And it takes all of us now. An end race. The NFL is back on racism. Being alive and well, I guess. I don't know what that is. I thought for sure Painting that on a football field would be the end of it, especially this year. Earlier, when I watched the Seahawks play the Rams. Now I forget the safety for the Seahawks mashed the Rams receiver up by the goal post and said F U n word. And it got picked up on the. On the. He was standing where it said end races. I've never heard the N word more in my life than at a. An NFL game. I was sitting front row at. In the back of the end zone in Pittsburgh. Every time they were in that end zone, you heard it. It was a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, there's some people upset on Sunday about the national anthem thing now. What they're going to do both.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they've been doing that for years.

[Brett Vesely]

But I guess evidently this one is the biggest stage and like, why isn't it supposed to be. And yeah, you know, for creating unity or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

But can't have division. That's racism. We have one, and you have one is actual racism. And then you can't keep doing it. Like, everybody be tired of the Dominicans and all that stuff. When does it end?

[Brady Bogan]

Even you watch hockey or baseball and they play one of the Canadian teams. Then you got to listen to that thing first. It's like, oh, I don't even know.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell you're talking about. Exactly. It's like when they have football games down in Mexico. I got to listen to that thing. Come on, Lift. Every voice is the black national anthem. The other ones, but they're painting over end racism and then just saying, choose love, but go get a. You know, go. Go take one of those $75,000 tickets that the Cardinals sell in the back of the end zone and count how many times you hear the N word while they're standing next to a sign that says end racism. So it was a little counterproductive sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. Remember when the NFL used to care about breast cancer, but then they got. The contract expired with Susan G. And they weren't. So they just don't do it anymore. For a while there, it was just all from the heart, like, wow, they're wearing pink shoes. And. And then you found out later, oh, it's a. It's a marketing partnership with the NFL and Susan G. Komen.

[Brett Vesely]

And now it's just the catch or whatever. The early.

[John Holmberg]

They do the cancer one. Yeah, but it's just early catch because that's a different foundation that now pays for that advertising and that's for everything that's, well, you know, crucial. Catch is there is their way of saying this is our. Our fundraiser.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Susan G. Coleman got a grand total of like a million dollars in the 10 years that they did advertising, because that's what it was with the NFL. And then the contract expired. It wasn't valuable to them, Wasn't valuable to the NFL. Now they don't care about breast pants. They started another. So it's kind of strange when the NFL does this. We're going to stop this end racism thing. It's not working. Or we just care about something else now. Choose love. Stop it. This one says the one guy in the room doesn't have to worry about a hitman is Toledo. Because, you know his son would be the one to do it, and he can't do any job. Right. That's true. Yeah. Everybody. You know what? This is going to upset some insurance companies. Everyone today. Should women or men cancel your life insurance policies or like Brady said, just swing it over to only the kids.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but depending on how young the kids are, the wife's still going to be controlling it.

[John Holmberg]

And then you got to put it in some sort of trust till they're like 18. That wife doesn't get any. Can't tap it.

[Brady Bogan]

This one.

[John Holmberg]

Just cancel it.

[Brady Bogan]

Christopher DeWitt says Ronnie's playing the long game. She's killing him with his diet.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's. He's. He's so involved in that. But I think there's an arrogance to think that your wife wouldn't kill you. I think there's an arrogance to that. Like, no, I can't. Please. What would she do without me? That's the. If that runs through your head at all. You're the dumbest mother in the world. What would you do without you? Smile, enjoy life. Have fun. Not have to pick up your shoes every five seconds. That's what she'd do without you. And then she'd replace you with a similar. A replicant of sorts, until she got tired of him. Black widow herself right out of that, too. You should always think she might kill me. And that's the key to a healthy life. Also, end racism.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you see Sean Rockefeller?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. What'd he say? Said he's blind, you know, and it's a single again. And maybe that's a good thing. I'd probably be one of those dead guys because I never saw it coming. That's very true. If you're blind, don't date, hire out. No reason for your blind. How easy that would be because she's going to get tired of you, too. This guy says I recently found out my wife was waiting for me to die and was sticking around in the hopes I would because of health issues that I've got. Dumb bitch thought because of my injuries from my time in the military, it would cause me to just suddenly die. It was mostly the meds. I was taking severe pain from all that broken back I had that injuries and things like that. She's a moron. I was worth way more dead than I was alive to her. Or at least was. The moment she said she was leaving me, I took her off the policy. Funny part was she'd put her mother on as a secondary. She thinks. She still thinks she's gonna get money if and when I die. My son is now the only beneficiary. My sister is second. Great show. Once again. You've opened my eyes, Jim. That's right. That's right. I say it all the time with life change alone. Same with your marriage. It's not magic, it's just math. Start looking into what your value is here or there's. And then watch some ID channel and then do a little side eye over there and go. This makes a whole lot of sense. She starts seeing this. This is just giving ideas. It's different for women too, because they can replace us easier. You single? They're not doing any better than that. None of us. No. Wander around trying to. It's going to be a tough, tough wander around with half of our money gone or some dead lady in our history. Women don't want to be part of that. Got a dead wife. The next lady that comes in might be crazy. What are you laughing at, Vasquez?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I'm just pregnant.

[John Holmberg]

I worry about him.

[Brett Vesely]

You're talking too much.

[John Holmberg]

He's saying too many things, Domain. Oh, geez. Just talking about insurance and stuff because I don't want to sound like a racist, but imagine the murder rate in the West Valley if they had more life insurance than they did car washes. That's very true. And I don't know that that's racist. There's a lot of white car wash. But I see what you're saying. Jesus, there'd be a whole lot more. Like there'd be State Farm in stickers on the back of pickup trucks. In old English. They would be celebrating the insurance companies. Anyway. What do you got in the big board of musical treats out there? Brett with the perfect. You're like the Dr. Phil of marriage. I'm gonna only go to you. You gotta make her think that the ass is about to trust each Other.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right.

[Ronnie]

Oh, it isn't about you trust each other just fine.

[Brady Bogan]

I trust her.

[John Holmberg]

You trust each other 100%. You get. You get murder and trust confused.

[Brett Vesely]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

You can trust someone and murder them. Them just like they can trust you. And like you're not going to step out and do anything like that. Murder is different. Murders, money. Murder is like independence. It's not about trusting. Trust that they won't kill. You should never do that. No.

[Brady Bogan]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. The new store is open. It's their soft opening right over there on McDowell. No. No. Yeah, McDowell and Power Road.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, right there by the Hoss trailhead. Go and check them out. Big grand opening happening February 22nd. John and I will be hanging out with him.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the hard opening there.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. That's the hard opening. But right now it's a little soft. But don't forget, the HQ right there on Southern and Gilbert Road is open. So go check out Action Ride Shop for all your bike needs, all your snow needs, pretty much anything you need. Josh and the boys will take care of you.

[John Holmberg]

Actionrideshop.com youm guys need a wife like mine. This says my wife would never ever hire a hitman. I do everything for her. I take care of our kid by myself. I take care of her. I'm a trophy husband. And I am more valuable alive than dead sign. Nathan Sutherland. Yeah, that's exactly right. And you knew it. So you knew that that doesn't exist. Brady fired off the Nathan Sutherland joke first. That's the only way you can count on your wife not trying to kill you as she's in a coma. And even still, look what happened. Bitch still got him thrown in jail. He's in jail. She still, you know, didn't stay on her birth.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, on the list, Judas Priest, Megadeth, Sepultura, the Cult, Motorhead, Brugira, Electric Call Boys, new one, Iron Maiden.

[John Holmberg]

What's Brujira?

[Brady Bogan]

That's that. I think it's a Mexican metal band.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Van Halen's gotta be Brujiria.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think it's something like that.

[John Holmberg]

We won't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

Van Halen finished what you started. For the Hitman, a motorhead killed by death. For the Hitman Authority zero Mexican radio for all the protests going on.

[John Holmberg]

Keep it up. Do it in Scottsdale, though. Do it somewhere we'll see on TV nationally the Waste Management open when it's interrupted today by protesters and the immigrants. Amazing News story. Incredible coverage. And Buffalo stays home. Buffalo and Philly and Kansas City and Yuckty Yuck, Indiana and Springfield and your place on all of Ohio and most of Pennsylvania. And they stay home. Mexicans are running that place. It's too bad too. It looks beautiful. That's what I want. Everyone watching the TV this week says too bad. Places gorgeous. Look at it visually. And they've just ruined it. Overrun with migrants and national white pride people. We didn't see that everywhere. Again, I'm not saying we mean it. I'm just saying when the TV cameras are on, wave like Elon and just keep Buffalo out and everybody here will understand. Jesus. What's going on in Phoenix? We'll get a little bad press, but that's good. I like the brujeria because I haven't heard it yet. Is it good? Oh, this was. What's henchado? Chingazos.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. You should probably look that up because I have no idea.

[John Holmberg]

Chingazos is like a throw down hachondo. I don't have my. I don't think my duolingo is up to that word yet. Hey, chando la migra. I know. And that's another brujo. Maybe we just go with Electric Callboy since that's just going to be guaranteed awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

Making or throwing. So probably throwing.

[John Holmberg]

Throwing Chingazos. That's throwing fists. Yeah. Hey, chando is.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if it's clean in Spanish or not. I have no idea.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think there's any rules against it.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't pick it. Electric Cowboy or Rohira.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna let you choose. This is your moment, Shine. You make so many good decisions. Your 50, 50 marriage. You. You're my guiding light. You're my North Star.

[Brady Bogan]

I do kind of want to hear that. That electric call that we played yesterday for the wake up song.

[John Holmberg]

We go for the new releases. The new Electric Call Boy. All right, we'll go with that and bruheria again. You've been sent home, so to speak. You'll not be part of this this morning. You do have to say. I do have to admit. I have to stop watching all those crime shows. You just realized, Jesus, this is happening at an unreasonable clip. And these are the ones we all caught. These are the. These are the failures. We're watching all the failures. There's success stories out there all over the place. They ain't gonna get their own TV show for succeeding. You gotta fail for it to be a show. Otherwise it doesn't have an ending. Nothing more disappointing than spending an hour on People magazine investigates. And at the end, they're like, it wasn't him. What? Ah, who did it? We don't know yet. Keep your eyes open. B O L O. They say be on the lookout. Bolo. Bolo. I watched an hour so you could tell me to get some. Hell am I doing on the couch here? And you got me. Now I'm searching for murderers. Bolo. An ending. God damn it. I need a murderer. I need that kid in the interrogation room to break down and say why his fat mother did this. And then the fat mother in the.

[Ronnie]

Room going, I just protected my baby.

[John Holmberg]

And then, ah, One of the two of them did it. They both knew, though. Everybody goes to jail, but all you're watching there is the strikeouts. Six, seven networks, 24 hours a day, murder shows strikeouts. There's a lot of them that are getting away with it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's all I'm saying. Are you ready? Yep. Eskimo callboy that we call electric cowboy. Oh, what's. What was the Eskimo part?

[Brady Bogan]

There wasn't an Eskimo part.

[John Holmberg]

I thought there was an Esco.

[Brady Bogan]

Elevator up.

[John Holmberg]

What's the Eskimo band? I don't know. Is there another one with Eskimo something, or didn't they have a song called Eskimo something?

[Brady Bogan]

They might have, but they have. We got the moves.

[John Holmberg]

Was the big one thought they had some Eskimo. So I don't know if it's okay to say Eskimo anymore. I think they changed name.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, as long as you're not talking about them living in igloos and stuff, you're probably.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they do, though. Oh, well. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't talk about their house whiteies.

[John Holmberg]

Eskimos don't live in igloos. That's racist. Now, I don't know. I'm not saying. I'm not saying all of them do, but I don't know anybody not Eskimo living in an igloo. Not all Eskimos live in igloos, but all igloos are inhabited by Eskimos. Fair.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Probably Eskimo's a derogatory term. All right, All Inuits don't live in igloos. But all igloos are occupied by Inuits. We don't even have igloos anymore. Yes, you do. You tell me. I'll walk the tundras of Alaska. I won't see one bubble dome of ice.

[Ronnie]

Fine.

[John Holmberg]

What am I thinking of? There's an Eskimo something I don't. Electric Cowboy had an Eskimo song. We'll look into it. It's all right. Do this one, though. It's Electric Cowboy. Yes. Elevator operator. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.