02-05-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - Short Condensed Show (02-05-26)

Date: February 5, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Guests/Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo (additional guest appearances by Josh, Jacob, and Kevin Falcone)
Episode: Condensed Short Show – Thursday

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Overview

This condensed episode brings the classic irreverent, offbeat banter of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness trio as they riff on pop culture, sports, missing persons, artificial intelligence, and the quirks of storytelling. The crew jump between light-hearted takes on hockey’s new “boy aquarium” moniker, the psychology around missing persons appeals, the surprising quality of AI-generated music, and the importance of having a “tight five” stories at the ready. The episode wraps up with Italian-themed gambling advice, keeping everything tongue-in-cheek and in the spirit of the show’s signature humor.

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Major Discussion Points by Segment

1. Hockey, "Boy Aquarium," and the Evolution of Rainbows

(Primary: 01:14 – 08:59)

• Holmberg Laments Hockey’s “Takeover” by LGBTQ Culture:
  • John shares how the gay community’s humor and branding has “claimed” both the rainbow and now hockey, introducing the term “boy aquarium” for a hockey rink.
    • “You know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can't not watch and think of that...” – John Holmberg [02:13]
  • Explores how this new label is hilarious, clever, and hard to ignore, even changing how he’ll see Olympic hockey.
• Cultural Jokes and Banter:
  • The crew riff on ownership and public perception of symbols (“the rainbow is now gay”) and share bits about men’s fashion and sports.
    • “You say taste the rainbow in a group of dudes now, and the first thing, one of them is gonna come back at you, whether you’re gay...” – John Holmberg [06:31]
  • Laughter ensures as they discuss the “boy aquarium” joke spiraling into broader sports references.

2. On Missing Persons and Morbid Optimism

(10:56 – 16:39)

• Response to Nancy Guthrie’s Disappearance:
  • John criticizes the somber and hopeless tone of missing person search efforts, suggesting they should be more upbeat and motivating.
    • “If I ever go missing, have, like, a cool in the gang celebration... Don’t do the bur bur. It’s depressing. And nobody is gonna look with the right mentality. Put a little hope on this thing.” – John Holmberg [13:27]
  • Co-hosts join in on how funerary music impacts the morale of search parties and the need for positive, energetic search efforts.
• Pacemakers as Tracking Devices:
  • Brief exploration about whether a missing person with a medical device like a pacemaker could be located via hospital telemetry or GPS.
    • “She had a pacemaker... the hospital could program it. Maybe you have to go to the hospital to get it done…” – Brady/John [16:39-17:19]

3. The “Tight Five” – Why Ugly People Have the Best Stories

(19:22 – 27:18)

• Comedy, Personality, and Storytelling:
  • John jests that attractive people rarely develop compelling stories, urging everyone (especially “hot girls”) to develop a “tight five” go-to stories for parties.
    • “All we're looking for is a tight five... If you're a man with a hot woman and she's got a tight five, and that sounds terrible, but you know what I mean.” – John Holmberg [20:08]
  • Panel shares their own “tight fives,” including outlandish tales: from teacher-horse incidents to family drama (e.g., whore grandmother, baby selling).
    • “Whore grandmother might be the tightest of all our stories.” – John Holmberg [22:49]
  • Playful competition over who has the most memorable “tight five” among the crew.

4. AI and the Future of Music (The Marilyn Manson Test Case)

(27:41 – 34:03)

• AI-generated Marilyn Manson Song "Unreal":
  • Crew discuss being duped by an AI-generated track they thought was a new Marilyn Manson single.
    • “We have not had a response for a new song like that in years... The emails went crazy... It is an AI song.” – John Holmberg [28:11]
    • “That's the first time that we've had AI say, ‘I got this.’ And I said, ‘You do?’” – John Holmberg [31:03]
  • Debate whether it matters that AI, not a human, created such a compelling track.
• Human Convenience vs. Freedom:
  • John philosophizes about people trading “freedom for convenience” in digital life, with no real resistance.
    • “You gave up your freedom for convenience in a lot of ways, and it's just going to keep happening.” – John Holmberg [32:32]

5. Generational Humor – Names, Family, and On-the-Road Tales

(35:18 – 44:22)

• Comic Banter on Names and Family Histories:

  • Guests Josh and Jacob joke about family naming conventions, video game milestones (“original Bron and Bronnie”), and Swedish ancestry.
    • “I would have had to, like, the brain I have now could do it. Child's brain couldn't. I would wander into every room dressed as the guy from the JG Wentworth commercial. I am Alvar Augustus Holneberg.” – John Holmberg [38:44]
  • The importance of how a name can shape your life trajectory, recounted humorously.
    • “Imagine how hammered it would be on a Starbucks cup.” – Josh [39:10]

• On-the-Road Jokes with Fellow Performers:

  • Jacob and Josh reveal the practical difficulties and ongoing pranks of touring together, including sharing hotel rooms and embarrassing sleeping photos.

6. Ask the Italian – Gambling at Five

(44:35 – 48:19)

• Parenting, Italian Stereotypes, and Teaching Gambling:
  • Segment kicks off with “Ask the Italian Guy,” where Kevin Falcone asks if it’s acceptable for a five-year-old to learn gambling at a Super Bowl party.
    • “He’s got to learn sometime.” – Brett (as “the Italian Guy”) [45:29]
    • “He should be taking the bets... the money man... the bank.” – Panel [45:46-45:51]
  • Humorous reminiscing about growing up around gambling at Italian clubs and the lessons kids inadvertently learn.
    • “I remember coming into the clubhouse... and there's just money everywhere under the table.” – Brady [46:42]
  • Satirical warnings about the dangers (and oddity) of pre-school gambling: “If you have a child with a gambling problem, that’s kindergarten age...”
    • “I gave that up. I lost that. I'm blowing guys for, you know, just to play casino casual.” – John [48:05]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Boy Aquarium" Bit:
  “You know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can't not watch and think of that…”
  – John Holmberg [02:13]

• On Somber Search Parties:
  “Don’t do the bur bur. It’s depressing... Put a little hope on this thing.”
  – John Holmberg [13:27]

• Storytelling Advice:
  “Get a tight five... That is when people are like, my God, she is just... She's got it all.”
  – John Holmberg [20:13]

• AI Outshining Humans:
  “That's the first time that we've had AI say, ‘I got this.’ And I said, ‘You do?’ ... It's completely unnecessary.”
  – John Holmberg [31:03]

• Generational Comedy:
  “I am Alvar Augustus Holneberg... and they'd be like, this guy right here. That's awesome.”
  – John Holmberg [38:44]

• Teaching Kids to Gamble:
  “He’s got to learn sometime.”
  – Brett [45:29]
  “He should be taking the bets. He should be the money man.”
  – Kevin Falcone [45:46-45:51]

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Segment Timestamps

• Hockey & Boy Aquarium: 01:14 – 08:59
• Missing Person Search Parody: 10:56 – 16:39
• Tight Five & Storytelling: 19:22 – 27:18
• AI and Marilyn Manson: 27:41 – 34:03
• Name Humor & Family History: 35:18 – 44:22
• Ask the Italian (Gambling): 44:35 – 48:19

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Takeaways

• The episode is a prime example of Holmberg's blend of crude wit, social satire, and heartfelt (if off-color) advice.
• The panel’s chemistry shines through recurring jokes, personalized anecdotes, and a willingness to let each other take the punchline.
• The handling of cultural topics—whether "boy aquarium" or AI music—reflects both a cynical and fascinated view of societal change.
• Signature humor: irreverent, quick-fire, and unafraid to poke fun at almost anything, making a condensed episode still densely packed with classic HMS moments.

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Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here, shailing away for new AC unit dot com. I've been telling you about the amazing new AC unit dot com for about three years. New AC unit dot com put the power back in your hands. Three easy steps online gets you your unit ordered, inspected and installed by the best in the business. And I'm super excited to tell you that new aceunit.com now offers mini splits. If you work in a garage, a casita, or even have like a man cave somewhere back in that garage, mini splits can be a must. New ac unit.com has it now and you can install it. They'll even include the electrical. Save thousands save time buy online new AC unit dot com. It's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail]. you've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to lifted trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder. I gotta start today's show going, damn you, gays.

[Brady]

What?

[Host/Announcer]

Those are your people.

[John Holmberg]

Damn you to hell, gays. I never knew this, you know, and we've talked about this show. Heated rivalry, this hockey show that.

[Brady]

Yeah, it spiked ticket sales. I think they.

[John Holmberg]

They think so. But I, they got it. The gay hooks are in hockey. It's over for me. At least they put their gay hooks in. Same way they got that rainbow. Remember how pretty rainbows used to be? And now you look at them, you're like, can I. I don't think I should get it brown to them. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not gonna. Well, now let's not do that. You're not wrong.

[Brady]

But come on, just make it a point.

[John Holmberg]

Remember though, you used to be pretty confident, comfortable looking up, going, God, that rainbow is great. And you just know the like as a fella, I'm like, look at that rainbow. If you and I were out like Brett wandering around. Yeah, it still hasn't changed. No, it has, because Brett's gonna turn to me and go, oh, geez. He's gonna go, yeah. He's gonna call me a British cigarette. You would. And we'd laugh. It hasn't changed that you internalize how beautiful a rainbow is. But an in amongst the crowd, you're not gonna shout out that rainbow.

[Brady]

I still run outside.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, then that. Then you're a. That's basically what it is. They've got their hooks in the rainbow. It's theirs now. Rainbow belongs to the gays. And when they sink those hooks in, they keep stuff. Now, I don't know if they're planning on keeping hockey from heated rivalry, but they did something to hockey that's never gonna leave my brain. You know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can't not watch and think of that, because that's exactly what it is. It's too funny not to go with it. And it's wrecking hockey. Now, I'm not a huge hockey fan, but I do occasionally enjoy in this transition from football set in that show. No, it's. They. The gays have it. They call it the boy aquarium. Evidently, they've been doing this for a year. And then amongst the gays, but because he did rivalry is that gay hockey show. Boy aquariums popped up a few times, and damn it all if it's not hilarious, we have to go with it. It's exactly what it is. The goddamn boy aquarium. And I'm like, ah, you got us. We've been watching a boy aquarium for ages.

[Host/Announcer]

You just wrecked it now.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't do it.

[Brady]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's Brett. God damn their fault. And that's just. You know what? Sometimes you just got to tip your cap and say what it is. That's funny. That's really funny. And. And it's accurate. We always blame women when we come up with logic and say exactly what they're doing, and we're like. And then they get mad. We can't be like that. We have to recognize that they're 100% correct here. Fighting it only makes it more gay. It's a boy aquarium. And the first team that absolutely embraces this will be the first ones that just get my vote. I'm gonna buy one of their AAA sweaters. Fans, welcome to the boy aquarium. It's a boy aquarium. Oh, Christ, you gays. You got us. That's a good one. Super accurate. Can't do it. You can't watch hockey without if you even, like you're watching. And then they get one of those shots down from the glass, like behind the goalie.

[Brady]

Boy aquarium. They playing.

[John Holmberg]

You're looking in the boy aquarium. Yeah. You go over here to the Detroit Mullen arena and see ASU's boycoin. That's college boy aquarium. It's like, oh, God, what's wrong with me? The boy aquarium. You gays, you're clever. You're clever and you're funny. You're funny. That's a good one. And it wrecked it for people like me who are just fence sitting. I'm not. I will never, ever act like I'm a massive hockey fan. I like the game. I can't wait. And the problem I'm having is that the boy aquarium thing is now in my head right before the Olympics, which is the one time I can't get enough hockey to save my. I love Olympic hockey. You put the. You put the country on a chest and suddenly I love every bit of it. I mean, I can't. I don't have a team in hockey. I've tried. You know, the Coyotes. I gave it a run, but I mean, please, what were we thinking? There's no passion there. And I couldn't drive all the way to Glendale. I didn't want to. It's too far away and it's just rough.

[Brady]

The move hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was rough. But now I'm going to watch Olympic hockey. And it is. Look, you don't. Don't get grouchy. It's a boy aquarium.

[Host/Announcer]

Becky just messaged and she says it's not just for the gay. She is. She works for two 24 year olds. That recently sparked interest in hockey. Started calling it the boy aquarium, too.

[John Holmberg]

At work there in the boy aquarium. God damn it, that's just too funny to ignore. I mean, you can't. You gotta let a good joke be a good joke. And that's one of them. I can fight it, but what I'm fighting is everything I live for, which is a clever, funny joke. And that's a good one. I'm here for the jokes. Damn you gays. If you didn't knock one out of the yard there. Just leave football alone. Because once you sink your hooks into that, I start seeing that they tried it for a little while. It's a little gay to wear a man's shirt, isn't it? And it is. They're not wrong. I walk around with TJ Watts shirt on all day long and idolize a man. That's different.

[Brady]

Chair for the boy field.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, don't call it any. There's not. No, no, let's not. Don't stretch. No, it's not. Because it isn't a boy aquarium. You don't have big plastic walls. You're looking at a boy aquarium. God damn you gays. Brilliant. And yet you stole our rainbow. They stole our rainbow. That was our rainbow. Everybody used to share the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. You say taste the rainbow in a group of dudes now, and the first thing, one of them is gonna come back at you, whether you're gay. The rainbow is now gay. And enjoying it is still easy, but.

[Brady]

You have to privately enjoy it. Is that what you're saying?

[John Holmberg]

Can't be too loud about it. Yeah, I love Shoresy. The show. Shoresy. Give your balls a tog.

[Brady]

It's not a boy aquarium.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can't even say the other word. The boy aquarium. Anyway, gays, you got me. And I'm trying. Last night, I'm sitting there watching a preview of Olympic stuff, and they're like. And then you get into the big one, the hockey. Canada. Usa. Sweden, Russia. Russia doesn't really have A team, the ILC thing, but the Europeans that have, you know, the A teams and then that B level team, which isn't so far behind all those B teams, they can catch the A teams that USA could lose to, like, a. An Eastern block old. You know, one of the. They could. But now it's boy aquarium. That's all.

[Host/Announcer]

I'm gonna come out to this song now.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I already know that Michael and Troy are gonna come by the house and.

[Brady]

Are you afraid of getting caught watching?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's like gay porn now. Oh, God damn it. Do it for the boys. Please welcome your Nashville Predators to the Boy Aquarium. Let's do it for the give your balls a tog. They're all gonna be over there. Ah, it's too funny. Oiling each other up while they're playing and stuff. Just like oil and hockey.

[Host/Announcer]

Juice, Iceman and Maverick.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, crying out loud. It's a boy Aquarius.

[Brady]

I'll be your wingman.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't think chicks like dudes kissing the way we like chicks kissing, but this whole heated rivalry thing, they find it. Well, the dudes on the show are mail models, and they're doing weird stuff to each other. So much hair. That's the reason lesbians are prettier if it's too hairy. Lesbians. Dudes aren't into it.

[Host/Announcer]

Well, the ones we want to watch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, some of them. Yeah. They look like they're models.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Here's the starting lineups for your sexy Nashville predator. Let's bring out the starting five to the boy aquarium. Yuck. Well done, Gu. Well done. It's all yours. Holberg's Morning Holberg's Morning Sickness 28K repeating it's John Holberg here from the Morning sickness for life. Changerloan.com so as you know by now, if I'm telling you about a product, I am using it. And that's because I don't want to be accused of steering you the wrong direction. I've told you that most clients of Life Change alone pay off their mortgage in about five years. That means you're not paying 30 years of interest. So on top of paying off your mortgage in five years because all your money goes to the principal first, you're going to save hundreds of thousands of dollars on interest. It isn't tricky. Nothing about this should have you rolling your eyes. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Football's biggest game is right in.

[Brady]

Front of us, and you still got time to get in on the action with Underdog. It's Brady from the Morning Cygnus. And playing on Underdog is so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats, and if your picks are right, you could win 5,000 times your money. I'm going to go higher on Sam Darnold passing yards. So download the Underdog app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in Fantas. Receive bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21 in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in state where Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concern with your play. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 247 Hope Line at 1-877-OR TEXT HOPE NY to 467-369.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness Nobody found Nancy Guthrie yet? They're still looking. They got pictures of her up on the news and stuff.

[Brady]

And Trump called Savannah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I gave her a call and said sorry about that.

[Brady]

Got your Support.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Here's what I didn't like this morning. I'm watching the news and they had a. They had, you know, Savannah gave a very impassioned speech. They were going to blame her brother in law. They were at the news yesterday. They were at the mom or the sister.

[Brady]

I heard that they're throwing the accusation a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

They pulled that back.

[Brady]

Suspect.

[John Holmberg]

They don't have any. Like, they don't even know if the ransom notes are real. Like there's all sorts. Again, what I've been saying about this from jump is it stinks to high heaven. Something weird happened here. There was a guy talking who said he worked for the FBI. And he said there's like usually one of three scenarios here. It's family, it's money, it's an accident. And the guy's like, what do you mean, an accident? He goes, this happens. More than you want to know is that especially. Drug cartels bust into houses to kidnap someone and they get in the wrong house and they take whoever's in there and they bail on it and they don't get the right person. And they're like, I'm. He's. He's like, I'm not saying that's what happened, but we've run into that case a few times. And then they're. Then they're stuck because they can't reveal who they are.

[Brady]

That's an area of that. It's not far from where it could happen.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure, that makes a ton of sense. But then I saw yesterday, after the impassioned plea, this like weird funeral dirge music going on. And they're having like a vigil for. And I'm like, ooh, this is what I always say about when. When people go missing. And then I never, like the. You know, there's no hope in the idea of holding hands, looking down and kicking high grass. That's been like, we're gonna find this. We're gonna find my wife. She's out there somewhere, and I want to thank you all for coming. And then everybody holds hands and just starts walking through high grass kicking. Like, you don't want to find her alive. You'd have your head up. You're all looking down for bones or clues, and you're kicking just in case you find one. If they're looking in water like they did Lacy Peterson that time, there's no reason to stand on the side of the shore. We're going to find her. And I'm like, if you've got a scuba suit on, you don't have hope. There's no. There's nothing about this. We're going to find her as a mermaid. I want to make the impassioned plea now that if I ever go missing, have, like, a cool in the gang celebration. We're going to go look for John. Like, don't do the bur bur. It's depressing. And nobody is gonna look with the right mentality. Put a little hope on this thing. Spin it just a touch. They had this terrible, like, music in the back. And I know she's in her 80s, so it's. The odds are it's like, she's not having a great time. But if I just make that promise to me boys, that if I get abducted that you'll have, like, a little. I don't know, if you got it queued up right. The cooling. The gang will start firing off real quick. And you got the. He got that ready to go. I'll be happy with that. I want to hear this stuff. I want to do, like. Like, you know. Nope, not that. We're gonna go look for John today. Who's ready? I want it like a motiv. I want, like, Tony Robbins type stuff. He's been missing for four days. We don't know where he is. We know who got him. God damn it. We're gonna find him. Brady, you take the crew to the left flank. Fred to the right flank. Toledo, stay in the car. Let everybody's like, rah. I don't need that other stuff. People sitting there going, we are going to miss John. And doesn't look like we're ever gonna find him. What's going on? I don't want to hear. I don't want to hear. He's gone. Savannah's talking about. We're looking for you, mom. We're gonna find you. And then they play funeral music and walk around crying.

[Brady]

I want her to come back.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what to do next Grammy come back. Gr. Yeah. Don't have player out there rewriting the words. Savannah's mama come back.

[Host/Announcer]

Hey, Elton John did it for princess.

[John Holmberg]

Die while she was dead. That was a funeral. This is what I need. Like, we're gonna go look for John. Who's with me? There's pinwheels like a hot dog stand. A dirty water hot dog outside. A food trucks.

[Host/Announcer]

Boom, boom room horn section.

[John Holmberg]

Gentlemen, welcome, bounce house. Welcome to the search. Do not start a search with funeral music. If you seriously think I'm still alive, get this code. If not, you look like the undertaker's with you if you're walking around with a giant body sized plastic bag too. I'm pretty sure you're not.

[Brady]

And remember, whoever finds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, put. Put that on it. $2,500 scavenger hunt.

[Host/Announcer]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

Do that. The winner gets. Call it the winner. Like the winner. Like you find me, you win. Like a big hide and seek. This has got to be it. I'm watching that Savannah Guthrie mom thing, and I'm like, you guys are doing this wrong. Nobody's gonna happily look for her. They're gonna have their heads down looking for bones. I want a search party that's like dancing. I want to see that weird people running in place thing. Like. Ah. What are you guys doing? We're looking for Holmberg. He's been missing for days. I don't need this. I don't need this misery. People are killing me out there. And then they'd just be surprised if they found you. That's all that is. Wow. I found them. Funeral. We can cancel all that music. All they do is mope. I don't want a mopey rescue team. Give me the goods. Yeah, see, Brett's in. I'm ready to look for somebody. I don't even know him. You got a missing kid, I'm your guy. The celebratory search party is ready to go.

[Brady]

You know the one thing that they mentioned? She had a pacemaker. And my dad had one too. And you know, you could. And she didn't have her phone, so she doesn't know. Yeah, about that. But my dad. I remember got it tweaked. The hospital could.

[John Holmberg]

Could find him.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

GPS him.

[Brady]

I. Well, I wasn't sure if they could gps, but they could program it.

[John Holmberg]

So from the hospital they can blip on her pacemakers.

[Brady]

I. I think there is. Or maybe. Maybe you have to go to the hospital to get it done, but.

[John Holmberg]

So there's absolutely no marriage.

[Brady]

Well, they don't have to open up. No.

[John Holmberg]

Where are you going?

[Brady]

No, I'm trying to remember. I asked my mom if my dad got it tweaked at home. Like he called the hospital and they.

[Host/Announcer]

They chip him like a dog or what?

[Brett]

His ex wife has that ability.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she does. We can find your ex wife. Yeah, with the philosopher. Doctor will adjust her beeper.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But does that mean he knows where she is? Because if that's true, they should have thought of that before Brady stumbled into it. Yeah, maybe. You know what caused that? Cooling the gang. My happy search made Brady go. You know what they could do. You know, she's got a pacemaker and nobody else has thought of this. That tells me that it's not.

[Brady]

I heard him say that yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know, but I mean, if they know that and they said that on the news, you'd think, yeah, some doctor would have been like, then you can find her.

[Brady]

Well, at least know if it's not running.

[Host/Announcer]

They got like Bluetooth on their basement.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's, that's a good point. Like he's saying, like, we can just check, see if she's, if her heart's still beating. That might be bad news that they've said that and they haven't told us their hearts. They would tell you like her heart's still beating. Maybe why they haven't played the cool in the gang. Looking for. Morning sickness 98.

[Brett]

One final football game, and it's the biggest on the calendar. But you've still got time to get in on the action with Underdog. It's addictolito from the morning sickness. And playing on Underdog is so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats. Get those picks right and you could win 5,000 times your money. So one last game with my team and I'm still riding Sam Darnold, Coober cup and JSN to all go higher on their stats. New promos drop daily. So download the Underdog app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries when you play your first five DOL underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playandgetterms_dfs_html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call 24. 7, Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPENY to 467-369.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness it's not easy to hit the quit button, ladies. You can't. If you're beautiful right now and you know it or you think you are, think, think to yourself right now, what's the best story I could tell today? Like, what's a good story? Because you know how many times we've listened to hot girls tell Stories that just don't go anywhere. Like nails on a chalkboard. Land the goddamn plane. And then you realize midway through the story, this thing doesn't have an ending. We're on that Malaysian flight that just goes until it dumps into the ocean, like, oh. And we just. Great. And we're laughing like, oh, my God.

[Host/Announcer]

I'm cans.

[John Holmberg]

God. And then I get distracted and they start dancing to something. I'm like, oh, no, she's lost. And I gotta pretend to be interested. We don't do that the whole time. On your way to work today, ladies and Wendy, reschedule your liposuction. Yeah. Re. First off. Yeah, call them back. That was stupid. I might be an asshole, but I'm not. That was a dumb move. Keep chasing that. But don't be mad about it. That's all I'm saying. Chase youth. Don't be angry about it. And on your way to the Sono Bella where you're gonna get sucked up, ask yourself, what's a good story? I tell a succinct get. It's like a comedian. Get a tight five. Get a tight five minutes that you can always lean on with people at parties. And then. Oh, man. Have you heard Wendy's story about the octopus and the pencils? Wendy, you gotta tell it. That is when people are like, my God, she is just. She's got it all. Tell a good story type five. That's all we're looking for, is a tight five. And if you're a man with a hot woman and she's got a tight five, and that sounds terrible, but you know what I mean. A tight five goes forever. And being an ugly person, I've got, like, a tight 35. I can go all over the. You bring up a topic. I can bring something to the party on that. That guy's crazy. Please. Brady's got a tight 50. You get Brady into motorcycle rides, he can tell you about dudes who crap their pants. He's got great stories. Ugly people always have great stories. Brett, I'm not so sure about you. Well, you don't like to talk about, you know, your stories. Usually someone has to go to jail. Your stories are great. No, your stories are great. But Brett is one of those. He comes in and say, he's a handsome man. He goes, big. How you doing? You're like, what's going on, Brett? None of your business. And then you sit in his. And then he goes, look at this. And then he gives you a picture of his grandfather with Jimmy Hoff. And I'M like, that's all you need. Like he's picture pages. How you doing, Brett? This is fascinating. I know. And then he goes, somebody just said Tigger. And then he walks through the room and starts laughing. He hears in the background, well, I mean, there's a chink in the armor.

[Brady]

I like this guy.

[John Holmberg]

Brett heard you say chink in the armor.

[Brady]

Anyway. That guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's your personality. He's like, this guy. He's just jovial. What about Toledo? No, personality is the word I'm looking for. That's how you gotta have one. They actually. I don't know. Does Toledo have a tight five? Toledo, I think he's got the door closed. Hi, Richard. Get out of up.

[Host/Announcer]

Here he comes.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo's got a tight five. Now that I think about it. Toledo, you come into a party, and I'm like, hey, give him your tight five. Toledo, tell him that story. You know the one. And then what? What do you go to?

[Brett]

Whore grandmother.

[John Holmberg]

Whore grandmother. It's a. It's a phenomenal monster. Tight five. And it leads to a tight 20 because people have questions. Whore grandmother might be the tightest of all of our stories.

[Brett]

Absent biological father.

[John Holmberg]

And that one gets a little shady because you get not as interesting. Whore grandmother selling babies.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Prostitution. It's got.

[Brett]

Everything's written about the whole institute.

[John Holmberg]

Look at this. Yeah, the documentary about your whore grandmother and her story.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Not the whore grandmother. The one who bought the chiropractor. Who. Who already interested the baby buyer. The baby buyer.

[Brett]

She's the baby seller.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's the.

[Brett]

She was the middleman. Taking a little bit off the top.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't a baby buyer of Billings. What's her name? But Montana. Okay.

[Brett]

Gertrude Pitcairn.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. See, look at us. We're all just like, oh, Edge of our seat for rich.

[Brett]

And they have a title. Gertie's babies.

[John Holmberg]

All of them.

[Brett]

They found each other.

[John Holmberg]

He's the standard. Toast is the standard. If you're a hot girl and you can't top a Toledo story, get in the. Get into the lipo in your 40s and end it. That's a fact. Tight five. That's a great tight five. Mine. Mine's mind vacillates. What are we talking about? And I can usually bring you something. I usually have jokes about Dad. I got all sorts. I can bring you anything I'm talking about. Oh, I got all sorts. I got good stories. I got an 8th grade teacher jerked off a horse in front of me. I can go anywhere. I'm sure all of us in this room have something like, oh, I can relate to that. I don't know. It'd be a topper.

[Brett]

Brett's high school was a slaughterhouse.

[John Holmberg]

Brett slaughtered a cow in high school. Nobody. I don't know anybody who has that.

[Brady]

I don't know anybody.

[Brett]

I'm from Montana. We didn't.

[John Holmberg]

There are 11 to 15 people with the story of our agriculture teacher jerking off a horse. That's it. I can't imagine that they allowed that twice. Somebody's mom and dad called. What happened at school today? My kid won't stop crying. He saw. And they're like, oh, he was on the field trip. Yeah, to the horse farm. What did you do? Oh, the teacher jerked off a horse.

[Brady]

There'd be a lawsuit.

[John Holmberg]

Now you put a bag of seed called animal husbandry into another horse. You saw the. It said he was going to the farm. He's in eighth grade. Why'd you jerk horse? You know how insecure this kid is about his penis as it go through changes and you got to look at a horse dick. What did you do that for? Want to teach them about animal husbandry? They're. They're 13. They're not going to. The only thing you're going to remember is that they just started that themselves. That's a story. Jerking off on the side of the 87 coming back from Pace. And I got stories. I got good ones on the motel floor. Motel floor was prom night. Well, my date slept, but the one that I.

[Brett]

How many people in the room?

[John Holmberg]

One. Just one.

[Brady]

Oh, 50.

[John Holmberg]

Scrambled porn. Yeah, 50 or 60. I'm like, I'm doing this. He's not putting out. Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

India just emailed. Said, John's not ugly. He's good looking for a white guy.

[John Holmberg]

All right, calm down. Oh, India. Yeah. Okay. Settle her down there. India, don't you start in with me. I'm gonna start throwing. Throwing barbs back at you for a white guy. How ugly are white guys to you?

[Brett]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

That could be. I don't know. We've got India on the phone. Let's see, India. This one says, Toledo's got great stories. Here is my top five from Toledo's tight five. You got that racist parrot story?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Fan. That's a great one. Whore. Grandma, you turned a woman gay?

[Brady]

I did.

[John Holmberg]

Gay son. This one says gay son. That's not fair. His lack of a dad.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It's a story again. That's down.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a good five.

[Brett]

Find the right room for that.

[Brady]

One.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the tight five with that. We're Abbott and Costello there, okay. Because you start telling the story of your dad and then I break into the stern and start doing baa. Bastard. And then, then they're like these two.

[Brett]

Bastard from a basketball.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. I'll throw in the jokes wig. And then, you know, this happened. I never met him and I'm boxing from a basket. He's the inspiration for There Will Be Blood.

[Brett]

Kind of harsh.

[John Holmberg]

His friend was evil about it. They're hilarious. Yeah, my friends down. You know, Anthony, Paglisa, Puglisi, he always do the Stephen Hawking for her. And I'm like, oh. So I'm the, I'm. I'm his little. You know that. What kind of monkeys do the symbols?

[Brady]

Yeah, Capuchin.

[John Holmberg]

What do they call those things? The organ grinder.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna get the money and I'm gonna do the performing. So I wander over and I usually say something quite vulgar as Stephen Hawking. The girls laughed. And then Anthony is like, yeah, he's funny. And we got a tight five.

[Jacob]

Day.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Also. Nothing you need to worry about anymore with this because we're done. Marilyn Manson got us yesterday.

[Host/Announcer]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

That song we played is AI. We weren't sure, but we're like, no way. It is. AI's what Marilyn Manson could write today. And it is, if you ask me, Marilyn Manson's third best song. And it's not him.

[Brady]

Yeah. Can we put that in rotation? Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Regardless, why not?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Who owns it?

[John Holmberg]

Keep, keep in mind what we heard yesterday with the Marilyn Manson thing. We have not had a response for a new song like that in years.

[Host/Announcer]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

The emails went crazy. I played it twice in a row. I'm like, I can't get enough of this. My emails went nuts. The texts went crazy. Everybody loved this song Unreal by Marilyn Manson. We found out later for sure. We fought it. We were trying to find. It is an AI song. Right. Imagine your 3 year old child developing the skill in his 36 months to do something better than you've ever heard someone else do. Because that's what AI is. It's three. It's brand new. Remember when the Internet was new in three years time? We didn't see that AI in three years.

[Brady]

In three years it has a tight five.

[John Holmberg]

And not only has a tight five, it's got like Grammy winning Change the genre type five. This is fake. Yes, it is. It's inhuman. It's called Unreal. We couldn't figure it out yesterday. It's like, it sounds familiar, but it's brand new. It's got the. It's not real.

[Host/Announcer]

He needs to hire those dudes immediately.

[John Holmberg]

It's called there are no dudes to hire.

[Host/Announcer]

I mean, well, the guys that put it together in the AI system, somebody had a program it, tell it to write a Marilyn man.

[John Holmberg]

Write a Marilyn Manson, right? That's.

[Host/Announcer]

They need to hire him, Them guys.

[John Holmberg]

Why? They're talentless. Put it in yourself. You don't need them.

[Brady]

It was AI that wrote it, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's just some dude put in. Write me a brand new Marilyn Manson song. And maybe you put in beats per minute and a theme. Reality is a suggestion. The words tell you the whole time. None of this is real. Unbelievable. Come on. So we got duped yesterday. Not necessarily, but people still want to hear it.

[Host/Announcer]

I mean, it's crazy, but there's.

[John Holmberg]

There's where we are. Here's the first day of it. Here's the first day of, okay, it's better. Here's the first day of not being afraid that we are outmatched. Here's the first day of saying, my favorite artists can keep going. And that should be something. As humans. Here we go. That we think to ourselves, we can't let it be better, but it's going to be. And it's going to be more convenient and more entertaining and faster and easier than what we can do. That right there, at least for me, from my perspective, is the first time that we've had AI say, I got this. And I said, you do? I like playing with it. That's the first time it brought something to me that said, you can't beat me. The first time. Not that I wasn't aware that it wasn't faster and smarter than me, but that's the first. The first entertainment moment where I'm like, oh, yeah, it's completely unnecessary.

[Brady]

Stop me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. It got us. Isn't that crazy? I. And I like it better, so I'm going to acquiesce. I'm not going to sit and fight it. I'm not going to go full Lars on this thing and say, we've got to stop this. If that's what it can do. That's going to bring joy to me. Faster and better than people can. And that's really all we're looking for as humans is where. How fast and how good is it? Because I'll give up all my freedoms and stuff like that for convenience. We've proven that. And Anybody who fights against. That's crazy, because you're going to. You know what you're going to do? To yell at me. You're going to email me. You're not going to write me a letter, and you're going to drop it off yourself. So you know what I'm talking about when you say, oh, I'm mad now. So I will digitally email him. He'll get it immediately. That's convenient. You've already done that a few times, and by doing so, you gave up your digital thumbprint to an entire world you don't understand. While you're going to bark at me that I would never give up to the AI Bob. No, you already have. I would never give up freedoms for convenience. You already have. When you email me to tell me you haven't. You already have. Especially if at the bottom it sent from my iPhone. You gave up convenience. You gave up freedom for convenience. Tell me one person that's read the I. The Apple Agreement. You gave up your freedom for convenience in a lot of ways, and it's just going to keep happening.

[Kevin Falcone]

But you know what?

[John Holmberg]

It's not that bad.

[Brady]

I read a couple of words. I agree.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I saw the. I saw that.

[Brett]

Where.

[John Holmberg]

Where is scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Jesus. Disclaimer, scroll, scroll. You know how dumb we are? Our frustration with agreeing to the Apple Agreement is how long it takes to scroll. That's how addicted to convenience we are. Oh, how many pages is this thing that puts us off? We're not reading it. We don't know what's in there. Oh, finally. I'm at the bottom. I agree. Click. I agree. I'm not a robot. That's a streetlight. All of that stuff.

[Brady]

Tough enough with a long text.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Even the phone's kind of like. You've noticed the new iPhone thing when you somebody types your long text. Even my phone's like, Chris Catero saying something about the Steelers. It just gives you a synopsis. Like, oh, for Christ's sake, are we on that again? It's even with me. Like, let's just shorten everything. Yeah, we gave up. We gave up a lot of freedom.

[Brady]

Speeds it to a tight five lines.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, try to. You try not to over text. Chris and I go nuts about Steelers talk. Our texts are long, but even the phone will tell you, I don't want to hear from anybody screaming about, well, I would never give up my freedoms for. No way. You already did it. You're emailing me. You did it. It's done. Not all of them. But if Marilyn Manson's new song is that goddamn good and it's not humans, do we fight the robots or do we welcome them with open arms?

[Host/Announcer]

Now I want to hear it again.

[John Holmberg]

I do too, because it's great. So Brett and I are on the page of bowing to our overlords.

[Brady]

What will be interesting is original music.

[John Holmberg]

Don't need it. It's gonna. Who's gonna create? Let me ask you this.

[Brady]

An original, unique sound, Brady. Like hopefully, maybe it should be able to.

[John Holmberg]

It'll find it. Because I was thinking of Human element won't disappear. No, but nobody's going to nurture that. Look what happened when the Internet showed up. Record companies stopped nurturing bands. It became about how fast you have one hit. We don't care about anything else you've got. Then record companies became unnecessary and Justin Bieber showed up and said, I'll just do this on YouTube. And he showed up. And Billie Eilish, she. Everything she did was without a record company until there was one involved every. Like Ocean Eyes, that first song that I remember came out. It was just in her basement on the Internet. And it went viral. Then record companies didn't know what to do because it's like they can do it without us. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Josh]

Do you get called Wolf Cub?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's because your dad is human trafficking you through the entertainment. Correct.

[Jacob]

Nepotism on the front, trafficking under.

[John Holmberg]

Under the table. You're an entertainment mullet.

[Brady]

It's perfect.

[Brett]

It's great.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I had to get him here in.

[Josh]

The back of a U Haul, everybody.

[John Holmberg]

So it was sewn into the seats of your viewer.

[Jacob]

I have full blown Stockholm syndrome, though, so I'm in for it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, and so Josh was. Josh was the name that mom said. No, there's only one of those. We're not doing that again.

[Josh]

Bio mom had a good point.

[John Holmberg]

She was like, bio mom is my favorite band.

[Brady]

I'm picturing.

[John Holmberg]

That is so funny. I love Bio. I love of that. Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry. I just pictured one's a little chubby, but he's working on it.

[Josh]

Bio mom, they pull up in their Chrysler Pacifica.

[John Holmberg]

They're touring van.

[Josh]

Yeah, they got the automatic doors.

[Brady]

Look, it was a long night.

[John Holmberg]

I got distracted by bioma, my rector story. But Bio mom said absolutely no double Josh.

[Josh]

She just was like, you know what? You're. You want to be in the entertainment business?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Josh]

This. If this feels like a hard. Hard enough rock for him to climb.

[John Holmberg]

Out from under Bronnie.

[Brady]

Yeah, good point.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true.

[Josh]

By the way, we're the original Bron and Bronnie.

[John Holmberg]

We're the first guys to play NBA together.

[Josh]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, sure. NBA 2K. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I wonder who the first father son NBA 2K game was. You have to go back in time.

[Josh]

To find we were the original.

[John Holmberg]

You guys, I'm going to go ahead and you make that claim. I'm going to run with it. It's now on a platform, a media, a podcast that is now going out to say you're the first father and son duo to play 2k live 100. Well, congrats. That is such a bonding moment.

[Josh]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely, absolutely appreciate it. You know, speaking of names, my. My mom shut down my dad. Bio mom shut down my dad. Bio dad for. He wanted Bio Uncle. He wants to go with that bio son. My dad wanted to name me after his father, a Swedish immigrant named Alvar Augustus Holmberg.

[Josh]

Oh, I wish.

[John Holmberg]

And my. I know I would be dead. I would have. He would have changed his name at 18. I'd have been found in the garage going, just swinging from the top. No way I make it through life as Alvar Augustus.

[Josh]

Well, let me ask you.

[Brady]

Bio sister got the name.

[John Holmberg]

Bio sister got Dana, which is named after my dad, Dan. That is a bummer. Rough Dan. I wanted a boy.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

He was the first. Was her. So. And. And getting to know her through these many, many years. I'm sure he still wishes she wasn't here. I know I do. But anyway, Dan, I could do without it.

[Brady]

Canadian.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah. I mean, it's weird how your name can change your entire, like, path.

[Josh]

Would you have gone because. Would you have gone with Alvar? Would you have gone with August?

[Brady]

It would have been Al. Al.

[Josh]

Would you have gone with aa?

[John Holmberg]

I would have gone to aa. Yeah. You would have had to learn how to fight. Oh, man.

[Josh]

You would have been the best Dungeons.

[John Holmberg]

And Dragons player of all time, dude.

[Jacob]

The best dungeon master.

[Host/Announcer]

No question.

[John Holmberg]

Are you kidding me?

[Josh]

You would have worn, like, a Thorn crown.

[John Holmberg]

I would have had to, like, the brain. The brain I have now could do it. Yeah. Child's brain couldn't. I would wander into every room dressed as the guy from the JG Wentworth commercial. I am Alvar Augustus Holneberg. And they'd be like, this guy right here. That's awesome.

[Josh]

You know what have been great if dinner reservations, when they call out, you would have made them call out your full name.

[John Holmberg]

All of it.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I'd have stood up with my scepter because you can't not have it.

[Brady]

Imagine how hammered it would be on a Starbucks cup.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, just.

[Josh]

They would have hated.

[Jacob]

Or, dude, if you customize your own.

[Josh]

Sports jersey, it would have to start.

[John Holmberg]

At the bottom and just go like a rainbow all the stop. Like, yeah, that would be insane. I like the idea of having my name over it, like, raising canes. Alva Augustus Holmberg. Am I saying that right? That's a name tipping people in gold. Smoke detector. I was gonna say. Was that a smoke detector? Yeah, it's just a stereotype you love.

[Jacob]

No, I. Trust me. I. I sit and play video games with my friends all day, and they're. We're all stream. So they all have steam decks where you can put sound effects.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And half of them are all. So I will play one on my computer and play a smoke detector and be like, hey, Evan, go check your smoke detector.

[John Holmberg]

So good. It's the best.

[Brady]

So the stereotype behind it. What are you pointing to me for?

[John Holmberg]

Did you play it all the time? I didn't make them do it. What do you want to point to me? He pointed to me like, oh, you guys are the first NBA 2K. Father, son, evidently, I invented the smoke detectors. That's my work, my legacy. Alvar Augustus Holmberg, gift to the world.

[Josh]

I will never forget that name.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a top. Well, my grandpa who had it had polio and, like, couldn't move his right arm hardly at all. But still, strongest man I ever met. And I'm like, well, that's the guy that needs to hold on to this.

[Josh]

But p s him in a him and a toga with his arm like, this kind of tracks.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I mean? You know, holding like the goblet early.

[Brady]

On, he could add a pizza.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I mean? Drinking out of the goblet.

[Jacob]

It does sound like a game of thrones name. It does sound like he's the king of the north.

[John Holmberg]

One of the families. The white walkers are coming.

[Host/Announcer]

Buffet.

[John Holmberg]

I love that.

[Josh]

Enjoy my buffet.

[Brady]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

You get a job at Caesar's palace. Considering little Caesar over here, he's never worn pants in his life.

[Josh]

Look at this guy. This is the body type of a man who's never worn long pants.

[John Holmberg]

No, he had. Yeah. He looks funny in him too.

[Brady]

Shorts sometimes are long pants.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Bermudas.

[John Holmberg]

One buffet. And it's like, I was gonna say.

[Jacob]

Capris are for sure pants for you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, that's what his shorts become you.

[Josh]

Do look like a guy who. Who, like, holds the bottom trail of Alvar Augustus's long Covid.

[John Holmberg]

He holds the king. He's cherubic, but he's also. He's handy around the castle.

[Josh]

And then every one step of yours is like three of his with those.

[John Holmberg]

Little legs behind him. Sir, it is taking us so, so long to get somewhere. I'm sorry.

[Brady]

May I have.

[John Holmberg]

Have some water, please? Like a little bug bunny cartoon with his feet. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. We must stop for provisions.

[Josh]

He's on the back of the.

[John Holmberg]

I would also, as Alvar Augustus Homberg, now that we've hired Brady to be my train holder. I would also hire a guy who. Who's got, like, a little mandolin or something that would follow behind him. With each step, you hear amazing, like, those little noises that.

[Josh]

You have a job.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Congratulations. You better learn how to do Brady's footstep Foley work.

[Jacob]

Honestly, I feel like mandolin's funny, but I feel like we'll throw it off into a tuba.

[Josh]

Might be also.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, we're getting into baby elephant now. It's just offensive. What is the name of your podcast you guys do together?

[Josh]

Well, we changed it. We were doing a show called hey man, and now we do something called on the Road with Josh and Jacob, and we do it live every weekend. Mostly because we're together too much.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

Correct. Jacob, would you like to run with that? You want to talk to me?

[Josh]

I'll say things because we both live in Vegas, and I'll say things to him like, hey, you want to come over? He's like, no, I see you a lot.

[Jacob]

I'm like, dude, I'll see you tomorrow at 6am for our flight.

[John Holmberg]

Get out of here. Miserable.

[Josh]

He won't sit next to me on the plane.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, he's got to. And that's another thing. When you do a show, it's hard. Like, everybody thinks that Brady and Brett and I are on the phone together all the. You gotta save it.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So if you start having fun on the plane, it's like, ah, nuts. This is like, all stuff we could be doing.

[Josh]

But also because he knows that I'll take pictures of him with his mouth open and Photoshop things going in and out of it.

[John Holmberg]

Most dads do that. That's a dad move. Yeah.

[Jacob]

I've started taking up, taking a page out of his book. And when we sit next to each other on early morning flights, I try to stay awake until he falls asleep first. And so I've Started doing the same thing. Dude.

[John Holmberg]

I fall asleep like this. Hold on.

[Josh]

But also have these glasses on. And I fall asleep like this.

[John Holmberg]

With your mouth wide open. I have a recent one.

[Jacob]

I'll show you guys a picture when we go to break.

[John Holmberg]

So dongs in that, like 100%.

[Jacob]

100%.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But also.

[Jacob]

Yeah. So I take a page out of his book. But also when we're in the hotel also, he doesn't. He does like to screw with me, so he doesn't let me get my own hotel room. Yeah. So he's gonna name the. He wants to rename the tour one room, two beds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So there's. That begs the question.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're on the road.

[Brady]

We're both.

[John Holmberg]

Crying out loud. What are you. You. Josh. Sure. You've been at it for a long time. Yeah. You're coming up through the ranks. And you're dragging. I mean, dragging squish along with you.

[Brady]

Junior.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Before we get into anything else here, I just wanted to go to questions. Brett, we play the game every once in a while. I can't answer it. Brady can answer it. It's time to play Ask the Italian guy. This come up from Kevin Falcone.

[Host/Announcer]

You should know.

[John Holmberg]

Two Italians having a conversation. He should know, but he's just, you know, he's. He's making sure.

[Brady]

Sometimes they need help.

[Kevin Falcone]

Brady wants some advice. He wants a consigliere. You know, his son Yogi is going to a Super bowl party on Sunday. There's gonna be a lot of Italians and a lot of Italian style gambling.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Kevin Falcone]

Do you think it would cause a problem in his life if he started gambling? Since he's only 5? If he's gonna be in the box, he should know how betting works. But if you had a five year old, would you let him gamble?

[Host/Announcer]

Man, he's got to learn sometime.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly what I expected. All right. There you go. It's another episode of Asking Italian. The answer is yeah. He's got to learn sometime.

[Kevin Falcone]

Does he want to walk him through?

[Host/Announcer]

But he should be taking the bets.

[Kevin Falcone]

Go.

[Host/Announcer]

He should be taking the bets. He should be the. The money man.

[Kevin Falcone]

He's the one. He's the bank.

[Host/Announcer]

Right, Exactly.

[Kevin Falcone]

Not making the bet.

[John Holmberg]

That's taking the action, right?

[Host/Announcer]

Yes.

[Kevin Falcone]

Teach little Yogi Falcon first the right way.

[Brady]

Collect.

[Host/Announcer]

Yes.

[Kevin Falcone]

Then bet.

[Host/Announcer]

And I have a couple six year olds on the payroll to take care of some kneecaps and stuff. You know, couple of those first graders.

[John Holmberg]

Out there to knock some people down.

[Brady]

All Right.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you go.

[Brady]

It just reminded me of when I was about five or six years old. My dad was golfing at this club called Riviera and it was predominantly Italian members. And I remember coming into the clubhouse after the round because I just rode around with my dad and they're playing poker over the. They leave the table. There's probably eight or ten guys decked out. They leave the table. We go to the table and sit there afterwards. And there's just money everywhere under the table.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding.

[Brady]

Yeah, they just left it.

[John Holmberg]

Just let it lay. And you were like a five year old that took it all.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nice work.

[Brady]

Like dad, look at this.

[John Holmberg]

After all that, this guy driving down the road going, that's where I went.

[Kevin Falcone]

All right. Dummy revealed himself.

[Host/Announcer]

Gonna get a visitor.

[Kevin Falcone]

We're gonna get a visit to that. What's that? Winnie the Pooh?

[Brady]

You're a good kid.

[Kevin Falcone]

You're a bear of a small mind.

[John Holmberg]

Give me a honey pot it is. All right. There you go. Ask an Italian. And it just happened. Well done.

[Host/Announcer]

Remember in a Brock's tale, when he was teaching him how to throw dice, was he fox? I think he was like 10 or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Collision was pretty young early on.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When he ran into chess Palminteri in that.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I was just curious. Italian asking another Italian, you think five's a little early? Is that frowned upon?

[Kevin Falcone]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No. The answer is absolutely not. Gamble away five. And if he has a problem, text next step to 5, 3, 3, 4, 2. On his little Mickey Mouse phone, and we'll be just fine. I'm not sure I. This is one of the moments where I'm going to say I'm not sure that. Homework's morning podcast along with Hubbard Broadcasting. Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

The views of Brett Cast, for God's sakes.

[John Holmberg]

We can do it if you have a child with a gambling problem. That's kindergarten age. We disagreed with the problem.

[Host/Announcer]

He's the bank. Where's the problem?

[John Holmberg]

Would love to talk to that kid. Next thing you know, you know, I got my big wheel. I. I gave that up. I lost that. I'm blowing guys for, you know, just to play casino casual.

[Host/Announcer]

Said he's got to be the bank.

[John Holmberg]

I lost it all.

[Brady]

All my Legos, I lost it all.

[John Holmberg]

Legos were gone.

[Brady]

Missed it by one.

[John Holmberg]

I had a little boo boo.

[Brady]

Gone.

[John Holmberg]

Just because the goddamn guy missed a feel goal. I mean, come on. Where do you get the nerve to ask me that?

[Host/Announcer]

Have a couple of hard pipe hitting guineas on the payroll.

[John Holmberg]

You're all good I gotta ask you a question. Did you, my teddy bear, get the balls to ask me that?

[Brady]

Then I.

[John Holmberg]

Your teddy bear? Come on. Anyway, Haven points in a Little league. Thank you. There you go. Thank you very much for playing let's ask in Italian.