02-05-26 - Damn You Gays For Giving Us The Term Boy Aquarium For Hockey Arenas From Heated Rivalry Series - Nancy Guthrie Still Not Found And We Wonder If It's The Music Themes As John Wants Upbeat Search Music

Summary

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Summary of Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Feb 5, 2026

Main Theme & Purpose

In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, host John Holmberg and the crew riff on how the LGBTQ+ community has influenced language around hockey culture—especially with the hilarious and now inescapable term "boy aquarium" for hockey arenas, thanks to the TV show Heated Rivalry. The group also pivots into a discussion about the missing Nancy Guthrie case, musing over the somber tone of search parties and suggesting injecting humor or positivity into such situations. The episode is marked by irreverence, banter, and the playful teasing that defines the show.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

"Boy Aquarium" and the Gays' Takeover of Hockey (00:11–21:15)

• The Origin and Irresistibility of 'Boy Aquarium'

  • John opens with mock indignation at the LGBTQ+ community:

    "Damn you, gays! ...Do you know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can't not watch and think of that." (02:03)

  • Holmberg admits the moniker is dead-on:

    "It's exactly what it is. The goddamn boy aquarium. ...It's too funny not to go with it, and it's wrecking hockey." (03:17)

  • The phrase quickly becomes a running joke, with the crew riffing on it:

    "Fans, welcome to the boy aquarium. It's a boy aquarium. Oh, Christ, you gays. You got us." (03:44)

  • Brett and Brady join in the fun, brainstorming further innuendo:
    • "The penalty box is the kissing booth." (10:06, John)
    • "The kiss cam's gonna be all...on the floor!" (10:12, Ad Host)

    "Former coworker… Two minutes for Kasparov, inappropriate touching. HR, 5 minute major." (10:16, John)

• Broader Discussion on Cultural Takeovers

  • John laments loss of 'rainbow' symbolism, humorously blaming "the gays":

    "They stole our rainbow. That was our rainbow. Everybody used to share the rainbow. Taste the rainbow… now gay." (06:54)

  • Brady, unfazed, jokes about "privately enjoying" rainbows. (07:15)

• Heated Rivalry and Hockey's New Image

  • The show Heated Rivalry is identified as a catalyst: it's heavy on male models doing "weird stuff" with each other, and light on actual hockey.

    "It's basically Cinemax, homosexual Cinemax surrounding a hockey team. There's not a lot of hockey in it… It's hockey adjacent." (19:05)

• Commercialization and Gay Bar Comparisons

  • Crew jokes about potential future marketing:

    "It's going to be sponsored like everything else. Like a D-backs park, the Grinder goal." (21:27, Ad Host) "You know when you have a bar you love to go to and then they start putting ferns in it… I think I just watched the transition. Hockey just went—it's a big gay bar now." (21:31, John)

  • Analogies with gay bars and local hangouts abound, with irreverent anecdotes.

Notable Quotes

• On hockey fandom:

  "The first team that absolutely embraces this will be the first ones that just get my vote. I'm gonna buy one of their AAA sweaters." (03:17, John)

• On the power of a good joke:

  "I can fight it, but what I'm fighting is everything I live for, which is a clever, funny joke." (06:03, John)

• On women's hockey:

  "What do you call girl hockey? I don't know. Unwatchable. ...Girl hockey is better than the WNBA... but it's slow." (10:45, John - tongue-in-cheek)

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Nancy Guthrie's Disappearance & The Mournful Search Party (24:16–39:06)

• Coverage of the Search for Nancy Guthrie

  • Conversation pivots to the missing persons case of Nancy Guthrie, highlighting the news media's use of somber, funereal music and the hopeless tone it sets.

    "I'm watching the news...they had her [Savannah Guthrie]...very passionate speech...this like weird funeral dirge music going on and they're having like a vigil for and I'm like, ooh." (25:25, John)

• Holmberg's Plea for Upbeat Search Music

  • John criticizes the vibe of typical search parties and advocates for positivity—even if the odds are bad:

    "If I ever go missing, have, like, a Kool & the Gang celebration. Don’t do the brrr. It’s depressing... put a little hope on this thing." (26:43)

    • He imagines a high-energy, team-driven search party with motivational music (26:43–29:02)
    • Comically, John requests:

      "If you’re looking for me, throw [Hall & Oates 'She's Gone'] in the mix. Once you kind of realize you’re not gonna find me, toss it in there." (36:29)

• Pacemaker GPS Tracking

  • Brady wonders if Guthrie’s pacemaker could be tracked via GPS, recalling his own father’s experiences, but concludes it's unclear if that's possible or done in practice (31:00–32:20)

• Media Cynicism & Accusations

  • John and Brady express skepticism about how the family is portrayed and about media-driven suspicions.

Notable Quotes

• On search party mood:

  "If you're walking around with a giant body sized plastic bag too, I'm pretty sure you're not [expecting to find someone alive]." (29:29, John)

• On the impropriety of funeral music during a search:

  "Do not start a search with funeral music. If you seriously think I'm still alive, get this going." (29:41, John)

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Memorable Moments & Banter

• Boy Aquarium Bit Continues Off-topic
  • Jokes about marketing (Churros, Kielbasa, "Hot Nuts" at hockey games, 18:17–18:22)
  • The slippery slope of joking about "twink rink," "kiss cams," and "kissing booth penalty box" (13:49–14:08, 10:06–10:16)
• Old Car Stories
  • John tells a bizarre tale about a Chrysler LeBaron, "the chocolate LeBaron," and how a friend's experience has forever sullied the image (16:31–17:53)
• Local Gay Bar Culture
  • Reflections on the evolution of various bars into gay hangouts, and humorous anecdotes from Swizzle Inn and the infamous "gay Denny's" (21:31–24:16)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:11–06:54: "Boy Aquarium" origin and hockey-culture banter
• 10:06–10:43: Kiss cam, penalty box, and innuendo escalation
• 16:31–17:53: LeBaron story ("chocolate LeBaron" incident)
• 18:17–19:05: Heated Rivalry critique and hockey/TV overlap
• 21:31–24:16: Gay bar culture comparisons; "gay Denny's"
• 24:16–26:43: Nancy Guthrie case overview; media and search party critique
• 26:43–29:02: John’s plea for upbeat search parties and celebration music
• 31:00–32:20: Pacemaker tracking tangent
• 36:29–39:15: Hall & Oates song banter, pop culture riffing

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Takeaways & Listener Value

• Language and Cultural Influence: The episode highlights, through humor, how subcultures can redefine mainstream language and perceptions—especially in sports.
• Irreverence as Coping Mechanism: Holmberg's approach to serious topics, such as missing persons, involves using humor and positivity as a counterweight to somber narratives.
• Endless Stream of Banter: The show thrives on quick-witted exchanges, relentless riffing, and self-aware, boundary-pushing comedy, while maintaining an underlying appreciation for a good joke, even at their own expense.

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Tone & Style

The episode embodies Holmberg's Morning Sickness’s brash, unfiltered wit and camaraderie. The hosts push boundaries, riff on taboo topics with irreverence, but remain self-aware and appreciative of cleverness from all corners—especially when it “wrecks” their favorite pastimes.

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Memorable Quotes (w/ Speaker & Timestamp)

• "Damn you, gays! ...Do you know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can't not watch and think of that."
  — John Holmberg (02:03)
• "It's going to be sponsored like everything else. Like a D-backs park, the Grinder goal."
  — Ad Host (21:27)
• "If I ever go missing, have, like, a Kool & the Gang celebration. Don’t do the brrr. It’s depressing."
  — John Holmberg (26:43)
• "You can't eat hot nuts at a hockey game and watch the boy aquarium."
  — John Holmberg (18:22)

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This summary captures the essence, flow, and highlights of this irreverent and wild episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, giving non-listeners a sharp, clear sense of what they missed.

Transcript

[Ad Host]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It's 5:45. This is the Morning Sickness Podcast. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. As we move into a glorious day. I've got that. That overnight mung. It goes with me a hot shower and I just leaking all this weird stuff. It was gross, but it's out there. Whatever's in the air has got me. Got me good. Couple of weeks of this just keep waking up gunky and gross. But I ain't alone. Y' all are doing it too. Everybody's got it. It's. It's a good trade off to have 85 degrees, 80 degree days in February while everybody else shovels out of their ice dens and the rest of the country. I'll take some sniffles and a little chest cold. Well, whatever blows through the air here. This toxic stuff, I'll take that over what the alternative is. That is for sure. I gotta start today's show going, damn you, gays.

[Brady]

What?

[Ad Host]

Those are your people.

[John Holmberg]

Damn you to hell, gays. I never knew this, you know, and we've talked about this show. Heated rivalry, this hockey show that.

[Brady]

Yeah, it spiked sales. I think they.

[John Holmberg]

They think so. But I. They got it. The gay hooks are in hockey. It's over for me. At least they put their gay hooks in. Same way they got that rainbow. Remember how pretty rainbows used to be? And now you look at them, you're like, can I? I don't think I should.

[Brady]

He added brown to him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not gonna. Well, now, let's not do that. You're not wrong, but come on, just.

[Ad Host]

Make it a point.

[John Holmberg]

Remember though, you used to be pretty confident, comfortable looking up, going, God, that rainbow is great. And you just know that, like as. As a fella, I'm like, look at that rainbow. If you and I were out, like Brett, wandering. No, it has, because Brett's gonna turn to me and go, oh, geez. He's gonna go, yeah. He's gonna call me a British cigarette. You would. And we'd laugh. It hasn't changed that. You internalize how beautiful a rainbow is. But in amongst the crowd, you're not gonna shout out that rainbow.

[Brady]

I still run outside.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, then that. Then you're A. That's basically what it is. They've got their hooks in the rainbow. It's theirs now. Rainbow belongs to the gays. And when they sink those hooks in, they keep stuff. Now, I don't know if they're planning on keeping hockey for from heated rivalry, but they did something to hockey that's never gonna leave my brain. You know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can't not watch and think of that. Cause that's exactly what it is. It's too funny not to go with it. And it's wrecking hockey. Now, I'm not a huge hockey fan, but I do occasionally enjoy in this transition from football.

[Brady]

Is that in that show?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's. The gays have it. They call it the boy aquarium. Now, evidently they've been doing for year and amongst the gays. But because he did rivalry is that gay hockey show. Boy aquariums popped up a few times. And damn it all if it's not hilarious, we have to go with it. It's exactly what it is. The goddamn boy aquarium. And I'm like, ah, you got us. We've been watching a boy aquarium for ages.

[Ad Host]

You just wrecked it now.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't do it. It's. It's Brett. God damn gay. It's their fault. And that's just. You know what? Sometimes you just got to tip your cap and say what it is. That's funny. That's really funny. And. And it's accurate. We always blame women when we come up with logic and say exactly what they're doing. And we're like. And then they get mad. We can't be like that. We have to recognize that they're 100% correct here. Fighting it only makes it more gay. It's a boy aquarium. And the first team that absolutely embraces this will be the first ones that just get my vote. I'm gonna buy one of their AAA sweaters. Fans, welcome to the boy aquarium. It's a boy aquarium. Oh, Christ, you gays. You got us. That's a good one. Super accurate. Can't do it. You can't watch hockey without if you even like you're watching. And then they get one of those shots down from the glass, like behind the goalie.

[Brady]

Boy aquarium. They playing.

[John Holmberg]

You're looking at the boy aquarium. Yeah. You go over here to the Detroit Mullen arena and see ASU's boycoin. Now it's college boy aquarium. It's like, oh, God, what's wrong with me? The boy aquarium. You Gays. You're clever. You're clever and you're funny. You're funny. That's a good one. And it wrecked it for people like me who are just fence sitting. I'm not. I will never, ever act like I'm a massive hockey fan. I like the game. I can't wait. And the problem I'm having is that the boy aquarium thing is now in my head right before the Olympics, which is the one time I can't get enough hockey to save my. I love Olympic hockey. You put the. You put the country on a chest and suddenly I love every bit of it. I mean, I can't. I don't have a team in hockey. I've tried. You know the Coyotes? I gave it a run, but I mean, please, what were we thinking? And there's no passion there. And I couldn't drive all the way to Glendale and want to. It's too far away. And it just rough.

[Brady]

The move hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was rough. But now I'm going to watch Olympic hockey. And it is. Look, you don't. Don't get grouchy. It's a boy aquarium.

[Ad Host]

Becky just messaged and she is. It's not just for the gay. She has. She works with two 24 year olds that recently sparked interest in hockey. Started calling it the boy aquarium too.

[John Holmberg]

At work there in the boy aquarium. God damn it. That's just too funny to ignore. I mean, you can't. You gotta let a good joke be a good joke. And that's one of them. I can fight it, but what I'm fighting is everything I live for, which is a clever, funny joke. And that's a good one. I'm here for the jokes. And damn you gays if you didn't knock one out of the yard there. Just leave football alone. Because once you sink your hooks into.

[Brady]

That.

[John Holmberg]

I start seeing that they tried it for a little while. It's a little gay to wear a man's shirt, isn't it? And it is. They're not wrong. I walk around with TJ Watt's shirt on all day long and idolize a man.

[Brady]

That's different chair for the boy field.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, don't call it anything. It's not. No, no, let's not. Don't stretch. No, it's not. Because it isn't a boy aquarium. You don't have big plastic walls. You're looking at a boy aquarium. God damn you gays. Brilliant. And yet you stole our rainbow. Wow.

[Ad Host]

What?

[John Holmberg]

They stole our rainbow. That was our rainbow. Everybody used to share the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. You say taste the rainbow in a group of dudes now. And the first thing, one of them is gonna come back at you, whether you and Tay. Gay. The rainbow's now gay. And enjoying it is still easy, but.

[Brady]

You have to privately enjoy it. Is that what you're saying?

[John Holmberg]

Can't be too loud about it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I love Shoresy the Show. Showsy. Give your balls a tog. It's not a boy aquarium. Yeah, I can't even say the other word. The boy aquarium. Anyway, guys, you got me, and I'm trying. Last night, I'm sitting there watching a preview of Olympic stuff, and they're like. And then you get into the big one, the hockey. Canada. Usa. Sweden. Russia. Russia doesn't really have a team, the IOC thing, but the Europeans that have, you know, the A teams and then that B level team, which isn't so far behind all those B teams, they can catch the A teams that USA could lose to, like a. An Eastern block old. You know, one of the. They could. But now it's Boy Aquarium. That's all.

[Ad Host]

I'm going to come out to this song now.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I already know that Michael and Troy are going to come by the house and.

[Brady]

Are you afraid of getting caught watching?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's like gay porn now. Oh, God damn it. Do it for the boys. Please welcome your Nashville Predators to the Boy Aquarium. Let's do it for the boys. Give your balls a tog.

[Ad Host]

They're all gonna be over there.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, it's too funny.

[Ad Host]

Oiling each other up while they're playing and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Just like oil and hockey.

[Ad Host]

Goose, Iceman and Maverick.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Ah, crying out loud. It's a boy aquarium.

[Brady]

I'll be your wingman.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't think chicks like dudes kissing the way we like chicks kissing, but this whole heated rivalry thing is. They find it. Well, the dudes on the show are male movies models, and they're doing weird stuff to each other. So much hair. That's the reason lesbians are prettier. If it's too hairy, Lesbians. Dudes aren't into it.

[Ad Host]

Well, the ones we want to watch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, yeah, some of them. Yeah, they look like they're models.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Here's the starting lineups for your sexy Nashville predator. Let's bring out the starting five to the Boy Aquarium. Yuck. Well done, Gu. Well done. It's all yours. Yeah. Now it's gotta be one of the.

[Brady]

Tougher ones to push it on who's that?

[John Holmberg]

Nashville.

[Brady]

Well, just. Know any of the hockey players at least maybe changed a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we used to make jokes with Landon Wilson about it all the time as boy aquarium. God damn it. Brilliant.

[Brett]

He got me on the sexy. There's sexy. Nashville Predators throw sexy in front.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's what they would have to come on sexy mammoth. Let's welcome the sexy ass Utah Mammoth to the boy aquarium penalty, number 65, Karpenov kissing. Two minutes.

[Brett]

He's been in trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Put him in the kissing booth. Oh, no. The penalty box is the kissing booth.

[Ad Host]

The kiss cam's gonna be all.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna be on the floor. Don't be on the floor. Former co worker.

[Brett]

He's gotta call that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Paul has to go out 2 minutes for Kasparov. Inappropriate touching. HR 5 minute major. Is it happening?

[Ad Host]

Is there groping too?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. God damn it. The boy aquarium is too good to ignore. Eyes slapping. Too goddamn eye slapping.

[Ad Host]

That was my puck.

[John Holmberg]

That's mine pucking. Oh, no. Two minutes.

[Brady]

I think.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I. But again, we gotta tip your cap to it. It's too goddamn funny not to. Not to run with it. It is exactly what they say. And I know I'm gonna get. So. So. What do you call girl hockey? I don't. Unwatchable. I don't know. We care about that. Girl hockey is better than the wnba. Well, yeah. They're good in Canada. Usa. You throw that on there, I'll probably watch. But it's not. It's slow. I know that. The mistake they make with girl hockey is they usually put it on right around the time you just watch boy hockey. And it is a drastic disparity in speed work. The speed is insane. The girls are great. Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying side by side, it's not. It's not as fun because you just watch something go a billion miles an hour and then you get this lovely. What do you call girl hockey? A girl aquarium. What do you call your computer, though? I mean, us heteros have nothing on this one. It's too good a joke. Just let them have it. Don't fight back. Let them have this one. That's a. That's a goddamn monster fish aquarium. What? Oh, well, okay, I guess if you want to go that way. But there is actually one. You're saying that they're. They smell like fish because of their vaginas? That's what Brady's saying. I gotcha. That is a rude. But anyway, I just want to tip my Cap to the gays. Morning sickness.

[Ad Host]

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[Geico Commercial Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, good morning.

[Geico Commercial Announcer]

Dale traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here. Here where he needs us most.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, they sure are.

[Geico Commercial Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

It's all right.

[Geico Commercial Announcer]

We're so far up here.

[John Holmberg]

Look at me. Take a deep breath.

[Geico Commercial Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. It feels good to Geico Holmberg's morning sickness. I didn't know that was a thing. And.

[Ad Host]

It could soon be the twink rink.

[John Holmberg]

No, don't. See, now, don't. Let's not start running with it. There we go. Last boy aquarium I knew about was. The last boy aquarium I knew about was over in Father Dale's rectory. He used to have him in that hot tub all the time. And you want to climb in the boy aquarium. It was a legitimate boy aquarium.

[Brady]

Boy stew.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, a boy aquarium. And they did a shot from. They were Showing clips from the last Canada USA Games. And every time that the camera goes down ice level and it's. Oh, you're like. I'm staring directly into the. It's a goddamn boy aquarium.

[Ad Host]

Jonathan said the same thing.

[Brady]

Is Johnny Weir gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, John up in the booth and he's hilarious, and you end up liking him and you.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Ad Host]

Jonathan said the same thing. Father Dale called his is the boy aquarium. Oh, never mind. John wouldn't know.

[John Holmberg]

I know about it. I was never invited into the boy aquarium. Two minutes high sticking. I didn't even have my stick. You know what you did. Two minutes boy doesn't make all hockey players gay, but it makes us gay for watching and not admitting that. It's pretty good. Yeah, it's a. It's rough. The twink rink. Knock it off. Yeah, I don't. I don't know what to do after that because the gays got us. And they take stuff. They're notorious for taking stuff. That rainbow was. That was. That was a thief in the night, that rainbow. You know, you go outside now and you start taking pictures of a beautiful rainbow. You look gay.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Whereas before it was just some sort of weird, like. I don't know, is it engineering marvel? I don't know what the hell a rainbow is. It's some sort of science project just right in front of you. And you get one of those good ones that's bright top to bottom. We used to talk about the leprechaun and the pot of gold, and now it's just about. But. And that's the whole meaning behind it.

[Brady]

Man. If you do that. The Bronco and get out.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you what. If I get that. Bronco chasing rainbows, going to boy aquariums. Watch that. I mean, it's on.

[Brady]

You got to do it.

[John Holmberg]

You guys. You clever ass guys. I like my neighbors a lot. Michael and Troy are very funny. And they. We laugh a lot. They think I'm funny. I find them hysterical. But every once in a while they say something. I'm like, oh, my God. Never heard of it from that perspective. That's brilliant. And it's also something I can never ever see the same again because now it's just crazy. I can never look at a Chrysler LeBaron again. Are you crazy? The chocolate LeBaron. A man fountain pooped on Michael in a LeBaron once.

[Brady]

White, right?

[John Holmberg]

White interior.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know how he realized it was going on? When he reached up to touch the. What do they call that thing? The headliner and his hand went.

[Ad Host]

Slid.

[John Holmberg]

Dude was spraying like a gunk. I'm thank God they don't make Lebarons anymore. But if I even. I can't even think of Ricardo Montalban this thing because he used to do the commercials. The Corinthian leather of the Chrysler Lebaron. Chocolate Lebaron has changed the game.

[Brady]

Cordova.

[John Holmberg]

Chrysler Cordova. In the Liberian, it was the same car. Yeah, the LeBaron filled with white inside. They got out. It looked like a crime scene of feces. Like you killed the poop.

[Ad Host]

Just total the car at that point.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you never. You don't take that total. You don't take that to Cairo and have it detailed. You just burn it progressive.

[Ad Host]

Be like total. No problem. Go get a new car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If I see a Chrysler on the road sometimes, Michael's like, the Lebaron. Oh, it was the chocolate. Like, oh, God. And I just see that emblem and then Ricardo Kreutler Cordova with a rich interior Libera, and I'm like, oh, no, no, no. Chocolate was Chrysler the Lebert. Maybe I'm even getting it wrong. Was that Buick? It was Chrysler, right? Yeah. Good. Either way, they rexed up.

[Ad Host]

The twink rig killed me. I started choking on a donut as a state trooper was passing me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I'll tell you this, you're gonna choke on a lot more if you start going to hockey games. You'd be at that twink rink and they're gonna serve churros the size of your foot. That's gonna be the audience for it. Gigantic sausages, Kiel bosses and churros wider than, like, you know, tubes in your engine.

[Brady]

They start selling spritzers there.

[Ad Host]

Oh, man, way ahead of the game. The glizzy goal.

[John Holmberg]

Hot nuts. Hot nuts. They already got that. Now it's gonna change. You can't eat hot nuts at a hockey game and watch the boy aquarium. It's crazy eye sticking. I sticking changes everything. The five hole. You can't call it the five hole anymore. There's so many things. They own it now. One little thing. That goddamn heated rivalry, which I hear is a good show. Little heavy handed on the gay. I watched an episode and I'm like, all right, they're gay. I get it. And then they just. It's. It's, you know, it's basically Cinemax, homosexual Cinemax surrounding a hockey team. There's not a lot of hockey in it. Not a lot. People keep saying it's a hockey show. I disagree. It's hockey adjacent. These guys Skate. But it's more of an ass playoff shit.

[Ad Host]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if. I don't even know the standings. I honestly don't. I just know that this is an Aztec show, and occasionally they strap on skates. Skates. They strap on skates and. Yeah. Then they hit the boy aquarium.

[Ad Host]

Carson Kressley's gonna be out there doing their uniforms and everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's a matter of time.

[Brady]

The gays with the goalie masks look like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now, here's the thing. I do think, though, because it is heavy clothing, a lot of bulky wear, the gays will lose interest in this soon enough, and so will the women, because they realize after a while, they don't really care about the action on the ice. And none of these guys are going to start making out.

[Ad Host]

That's going to get tighter fitting.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what will happen, and this is smart. If you're in marketing right now, you got this heated rivalry thing going. If the Coyotes were still here, I'd give them another great marketing idea on the gondola. When the. When the action stops, you take the players and you take their tarps off. That's what they call, you know, clothes get. You stand there without your shirts on and you give, like, little trivia facts. You know, you have some little Finlandian guy up there is just shredded top to bottom, and he's just giving you facts on the gondola. You're selling tickets that the ladies are just going to watch the boy aquarium because he did. Rivalry. You got to give them some extra stuff because they're not there for the actual hockey. They're there to see, and they've got a new audience for it. This heated rivalry, it actually did where I. I've been fighting this, though. It's like, oh, hockey tickets are up. Like, no, no, no. It's because of the Olympics. And like. No, it's the. It's the show. I really. They've got it. They got this. It's theirs. But the penalty booth becomes seven minutes in heaven. Ooh, double penalty. We've got guys sharing the box.

[Brett]

Yuck.

[John Holmberg]

Not like that. We'll change the name.

[Brady]

It's in a barrel now, boys.

[John Holmberg]

In a barrel. Yeah. I don't know. It is. Excellent work, guys. Excellent work. Boy, son. Son of a. Moving on. I don't know how you do it. Sorry, Hockey, it's over for a little bit. You're gonna have a little hiccupy.

[Brady]

It's like, your favorites will get good ratings, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. And they're gonna have some sex symbols out of it. These dudes are going to get commercials. They're good looking guys. They're, you know, look, they're highly tuned athletes.

[Ad Host]

It's going to be sponsored like everything else. Like a D backs park, the grinder goal.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Yeah. Oh, why? The revenue streams will come flowing in. Yeah. You know when you have like a bar you love to go to and then they start putting ferns in it and you realize what's going on here and then there's no girls anymore. And it's like. I think I just watched the transition. Like a bar that goes to a game. Just having a. Hockey. Hockey just went. It's a gay. It's a big gay bar now. Conversion to a game. I think the owners of BS west over there in Scottsdale never started with the intention of becoming the gayest place in the planet. It just started to become like a thing where a few gay guys told another few gay guys. And then there's this little. It's like when I was at the.

[Brady]

Swizzle in that time, you know, bars definitely will. Oh, they switch the initial clientele that you thought you'd get.

[John Holmberg]

You're not going in there thinking only gays. Maybe Title nine was. That was a pretty direct shot at lesbians. But they. Gays don't even go there. The. When I was at Swizzle Inn and I looked over and I was with my friend Rich and I'm like, hey, what's going on here? He's like, what? And I'm like, that dude over there in jean shorts, his friend has his finger in his pants. And there you can see the active fingering. There's a. There's a piston, like action going on back. I have video of it. I took a video. He was doing it so long, I'm like, I'm watching a dude throw digits in another guy. Is this a gay bar? Then we just started laughing. I think it was an all comer. Sorry, pardon the pun. You put up, you know, a couple posters of firemen and stuff. And the next thing you know it's like, I don't think I can go to this bar anymore. I don't think I'm supposed to be. It's like the Boom Boom Room. I don't go there because there's too many posters from Notorious B.I.G. if I go in there, I'm gonna stand out like a sore thumb. It's not that I don't want to be there or they don't like who's in there. They Play great music. But the boom boom room looks at me when I walk in and goes, what, Officer? I walk in the boom boom room nearly immediately. There's two things. You hear nothingness, which is immediate. And then of course, you know, the whoops. Sorry. Not that. The.

[Brady]

This.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that. As I hit the wrong button. Yeah. Sometimes they just play the Star wars theme when I walk in. Yeah. The boom boom Room. Hockey is now the. When I went to the swizzle in and there was dude fingering each other.

[Brady]

Do you think The Denny's on 7th street had any idea that clientele.

[John Holmberg]

They never opened that to be gay. Just happened to be a hotspot. And now you googled gay Denny's and it shows up. I did it in Chicago. Gay Denny's, 7th and Camelback. I don't remember. It was right there. Day Denny's. It's known nationwide. And there are other gay Denny's, but that's the one we know. It's not a bad thing. Just a thing. Nobody found Nancy Guthrie yet. They're still looking. They got pictures of her up on the news and stuff.

[Brady]

Trump called Savannah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And gave her a call and said, sorry about that.

[Brady]

Got your support. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Here's what I didn't like this morning. I'm watching the news and they had a. They had her. You know, Savannah gave a very passionate speech. They were going to blame her brother in law. They were at the news yesterday. They were at the mom or the sister.

[Brady]

They were throwing the accusation a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

They pulled that back.

[Brady]

Suspect.

[John Holmberg]

They don't have any. Like they don't even know if the ransom notes are real. Like there's all sorts. Again. What I've been saying about this from jump is it stinks to high heaven. Something weird happened here. There was a guy talking who said he worked for the FBI and he said there's like usually one of three scenarios here. It's family, it's money, it's an accident. And the guy's like, what do you mean, an accident? He goes, this happens. More than you want to know is that especially. Drug cartels bust into houses to kidnap someone and they get in the wrong house and they take whoever's in there and they bail on it and they don't get the right person. And they're like, he's. He's like, I'm not saying that's what happened, but we've run into that case a few times and then they're. Then they're stuck because they can't reveal who they are.

[Brady]

That's an area of that not far from where it could happen.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure, that makes a ton of sense. But then I saw yesterday after the impassioned plea, this like weird funeral dirge music going on and they're having like a vigil for and I'm like, ooh.

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. This is what I always say about when, when people go missing. And then I never like the, you know, there's no hope in the idea of holding hands, looking down and kicking high grass. That's been like, we're gonna find this. We're gonna find my wife. She's out there somewhere. And I wanna thank you all for coming. And then everybody holds hands and just starts walking through high grass kicking. I'm like, you don't wanna find her alive. You'd have your head up. You're all looking down for bones or clues, and you're kicking just in case you find one. If they're looking in water like they did Lacy Peterson that time, there's no reason to stand on the side of the shore. We're gonna find her. And I'm like, if you've got a scuba suit on, do you don't have hope. There's no. There's nothing about this where you're gonna find her as a mermaid. I want to make the impassioned plea now that if I ever go missing, have, like, a cool in the gang celebration. We're going to go look for John. Like, don't do the bur. It's depressing. And nobody is going to look with the right mentality. We put a little hope on this thing. Spin it just a touch. They had this terrible, like, music in the back. And I know she's in her 80s, so it's. The odds are it's like, she's not having a great time. But if I just make that promise to me boys that if I get abducted that you'll have, like, a little. I don't know, if you got it queued up right, the cooling. The gang will start firing off real quick. And you got the. You got that ready to go. I'll be happy with that. I want to hear this stuff. I want to do, like. Like, you know, we're gonna go look for John today. Who's ready? I want it like a motivation. I want, like, Tony Robbins type stuff. You've been missing for four days. We don't know where he is. We don't. Who got him? God damn it. We're gonna find him. Freddy, you take the crew to the left flank. Brett to the right plane. KO Stay in the car. Let's get him. Everybody's, like, raw. I need that other stuff. People sitting there going, we going to miss John. And doesn't look like we're ever gonna find him. What's going on? I don't want to hear. I don't want to hear. He's gone. This Hannah's talking about. We're looking for you, mom. We're gonna find you. And then they play funeral music and walk around crying.

[Brady]

You want her to come back?

[Ad Host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what to do next Grammy come back. Yeah. Don't have player out there rewriting the words. Savannah's mama come back.

[Ad Host]

Hey, Elton John did it for Princess Di.

[John Holmberg]

God, she was dead. That was a funeral. This is what I need. Like, we're gonna go look for John. Who's with me? There's pinwheels like a hot dog stand a dirty water Hot dog outside at food trucks.

[Ad Host]

Boom, boom room horn section.

[John Holmberg]

Gentlemen, welcome, bounce house. Welcome to the search. Do not start a search with funeral music. If you seriously think I'm still alive, get this coat. If not, look like the undertaker's with you. If you're walking around With a giant body sized plastic bag too. I'm pretty sure you're not.

[Brady]

And remember, whoever finds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, put her. Put that on it. $2,500 scavenger hunt.

[Ad Host]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

Do that. The winner gets. Call it the winner. Like the winner. Like you find me, you win. It's like a big hide and seek. This has got to be it. I'm watching that Savannah Guthrie mom thing. I'm like, you guys are doing this wrong. Nobody's gonna happily look for her. They're gonna have their heads down looking for bones. I want a search party that's like dancing. I want to see that weird people running in place thing. Like. Ah. What are you guys doing? We're looking for Holmberg. He's been missing for days. I don't need this. I don't need this misery. People are killing me out there. And then they'd just be surprised if they found you. That's all that is. Wow. I found him. The funeral. We can cancel all that music. All they do is mope. I don't want a mopey rescue team. Give me the good. Yeah. See, Brett's in. I'm ready to look for somebody. I don't even know him. You got a missing kid, I'm your guy. The celebratory search party is ready to go.

[Brady]

You know the one thing that they mentioned? She had a pacemaker. And my dad had one too. And you know, you could. And she didn't have her phone, so she doesn't know. Yeah, about that. But my dad. I remember got it tweaked.

[John Holmberg]

The hospital could find him.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

GPS him.

[Brady]

I. Well, I wasn't sure if they could gps, but they could program it so.

[John Holmberg]

From the hospital they can blip on her pacemaker.

[Brady]

I. I think there is. Or maybe. Maybe you have to go to the hospital to get it done, but.

[John Holmberg]

So there's absolutely no marriage.

[Brady]

Well, they don't have to open up. No.

[John Holmberg]

Where are you going?

[Brady]

No, I'm trying to remember. I asked my mom if my dad got it tweaked at home. Like he called the hospital and they.

[Ad Host]

They chip him like a dog or what?

[John Holmberg]

His ex wife has that ability. Oh, she does. We can find your ex wife. Yeah, with the doctor Will adjuster beeper. Yep. But does that mean he knows where she is? Because if that's true, they should have thought of that before Brady stumbled into it. Yeah, maybe. You know what caused that? Cool. In the gang. My happy search made Brady go. You know what they could do? You know, she's Got a pacemaker and nobody else has thought of this. That tells me that it's not.

[Brady]

I heard him say that yesterday, but.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, if they know that and they said that on the news, you'd think. Yeah, some doctor would have been like, then you can find her.

[Brady]

Well, at least know if it's not running.

[Ad Host]

Yeah, they got, like, Bluetooth on their Facebook.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a good point. Like he's saying, like, we can just check, see if she's. If her heart's still beating. Yeah, that might be bad news that they've said that and they haven't told us their hearts. They would tell you, like, her heart's still beating. Maybe why they haven't played the cool in the gang. Looking for. Let's celebrate. Yeah, I just want to see that.

[Brady]

Huh?

[John Holmberg]

A little positivity. We got mascots here. We're ready. No, no, it's Dinger. It's Dinger. Oh, that's Dinger.

[Ad Host]

I would go to Tucson for that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's Dinger. Stop yelling at Dinger. This is a better search in music. Like, if I'm looking for something. If I'm. You don't clean the house. The funeral song. This goes on and back. The house smells like Pine Sol faster. Meanwhile, themes you don't use. Gotta go find Savannah's mom. Just not you just. There's a. There's a reason you can't have Rocky's sad music. And, you know, we can't find somebody's map, but we don't know where she go when she do it. We think she's alive, but we don't know. No, it's easy. Brady's.

[Ad Host]

Brady's here shopping.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, all I'm asking is.

[Brady]

She's gone by hollow notes.

[John Holmberg]

You can't have that. Don't do that. It's terrible. All I want if I go missing is a happy group of people looking for me. You might find me dead. But, like, the Brady song works. Everybody's gonna go out of there a lot happier.

[Ad Host]

You don't want this one playing?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Maybe a little bit. It's such a damn cool song.

[Brady]

A smooth search.

[John Holmberg]

These two whites really got this one together. This is so good. Oh, we can do a Valentine show in nine days. I think it will do it on the Friday before. God damn it. We're just gonna have Kiss 12:30 today. Yeah. Here come two black guys from Philadelphia. And they are getting this right. She left him probably for a black Mr. Hall and or oats. I can't tell those crackers apart are very upset about it. Let's hear them tell the tale on Kiss 1230.

[Brady]

Real smooth. Friday the 13th.

[John Holmberg]

Rhythm of the city coming up on Valentine's Day. I thought I posted that, but I was wrong, so I can keep going now.

[Ad Host]

Damn crackers.

[John Holmberg]

Let these crackers fool me one more time. Here we go. That's a great song. It's a great opening line. Everybody's high on consolations. Everybody's just tapping you on the back, going, hey, you're gonna be all right. Left me for at the time, Alvin Robertson. Oh, what a song. Yeah. I may want this at my search party just because it's a good one. Apply. Really? That's tough. Oh, I can't stop. I turned it off. And then when Daryl gets going off, here he comes. That's what Kiss 1230 Guy does, by the way he sings along. I want the ending. People don't realize it. Mostly oats on that one. But that chorus man, hall, comes in and just clobbers it.

[Ad Host]

Oh, that's oats for the most part.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, almost. Oh, yeah. That's how John Oates sings this one. Daryl's in the back. All the videos you've never seen, that's Daryl. Yeah, I love that one. Anyway, if you're looking for me, you can throw that in the mix. Once you kind of realize you're not gonna find me. Toss it in there. Brett can dj. Mind me. I'll dj.

[Ad Host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't like that whole thing they were doing. It's crazy. They're not serious about finding anybody. When you're playing funeral music like that, it's brutal. Get it together, people. Try harder. Ringing bells like it's. It's all over. It's a big hide and seek. That's what we're looking for, a big. Now we're in the Guthrie hide and seek. Let's make it exciting. That's all I'm asking. Uh, let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. Fire us up today. 5, 8, 5 9, 800. Maybe it's this goddamn. Oh, when he's coming back after the sax solo. Key change. Might have to play this one. Oh, I might have to play the whole goddamn album. That was how they came out of the gate, right? Rich girl. And this one. Yeah, I think that one's the first one, man. And then you listen. Oh, when the blacks found out, those two, the way they looked, they're like, what? Damn it. They're gonna steal it again. That was close. And hall would walk around talking about the Philly soul all the time. And like, you two don't knock it off.

[Ad Host]

I watch a interview with Re Spears and he. He was basically saying the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Ad Host]

Hollow notes.

[John Holmberg]

They invited to the cookout. They're coming to the cookout.

[Ad Host]

Them and Mike and McDonald.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, this is coming to the cookout. These dudes. Yeah, they. They got. I don't know, they made the black drippings. The women's loser. Wet this. Oh, the crescendo. Here it comes. Whoever produced this too. To have the horn feathered blonde hair. And you wait. You want it now, but it's not no more. We're going up another now. We're gonna go one more. She's gone.

[Brett]

Out of face.

[John Holmberg]

She's gone. She's gone. Oh, forget it. That's. That's our tribute to Savannah Guthrie's mother. Took a turn on us there. Really.

[Brady]

Makes you feel a little bit better.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it would have been. It's kind of like what the gays did to hockey. We kind of wrecked it. Like, you're gonna think of hall and oats. She's gone. Every time you watch a news story and it isn't right, you're wrong for thinking it. But you're sorry. You're.

[Brady]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I guess you're welcome. Give us a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD.

[Geico Commercial Announcer]

Wake Up.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona's most powerful rock media. He said fully erected.