02-05-26 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode: 02-05-26 – FULL SHOW – THURSDAY
Air Date: February 5, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Overview

This episode brings the signature blend of irreverent, sharp-witted morning show banter from Arizona’s #1 morning radio team. The crew debates topical pop culture, drops in some envelope-pushing humor about sports and sexuality, gets personal about grief and nostalgia, and riffs on generational differences in work, aging, and having a "tight five." They’re joined in the second hour by comedians Josh Wolf and his son Jacob, who share stories about working (and tripping) together on the road. Throughout, the show remains loose, self-aware, and—at its best—cracking each other up as much as the audience.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

“Boy Aquarium” and the Gays' Claim on Hockey

Timestamps: 02:23 – 21:23

• John kicks off the show lamenting how “the gays” have brilliantly branded hockey rinks as "boy aquariums."
• The hosts riff on how this funny rebrand “ruins” hockey for them, especially as the Olympics approach.
• Extended jokes about how the LGBTQ+ community has “taken” the rainbow, and now hockey, similar to how rainbows became associated with gay pride.
• Notable Quote:

  “You know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can’t not watch and think of that, because that’s exactly what it is. It’s too funny not to go with it.” – John Holmberg (03:34)

• They speculate about possible future “rebrandings” of other sports, the introduction of gay-coded language to hockey culture, and playfully groan about their own inability to resist a killer punchline.
• Memorable Segment: Imagining penalty boxes as “the kissing booth,” “twink rinks,” and describing game snacks for a “converted audience.”

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On Missing Persons and How to Organize a Search Party

Timestamps: 24:45 – 38:13

• John offers commentary on the search for Savannah Guthrie’s missing mother, poking fun at the maudlin rituals ("funeral dirge music") of search parties.
• Proposes upbeat, party-like searches should he himself go missing, complete with food trucks and prizes:
  • Quote: “If I ever go missing, have like a Kool & The Gang celebration, … don’t do the bur… It’s depressing. And nobody is going to look. With the right mentality.” – John (27:16)
• Brady and John joke about fitting music (from Kool & The Gang to Hall & Oates) and discuss using pacemaker technology for tracking missing people.
• The hosts turn searching for missing persons into crowd participation, promoting optimism and humor even in dire circumstances.

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“Tight Five”: The Importance of Good Stories & Aging

Timestamps: 42:03 – 70:25

• John reads listener emails about body image and aging, especially for women, and the anxieties around cosmetic surgery.
• The hosts argue that attractive people often lack entertaining stories (“a tight five”) because they never had to develop personality or humor skills.
• Long segment celebrating the power of good stories—detailing each host’s best “tight five” tales, including family scandals, jerking-off horses, or violent high school memories.
• Quote:

  “If you’re beautiful right now and you know it or you think you are, think to yourself right now, what’s the best story I could tell today? ... Get a tight five.” – John (54:31)

• Advice for listeners: cultivate a “tight five” about yourself to be interesting as you age, and stop resenting youthful standards if you’re chasing them with surgery.
• Recurring idea: humor and story make you valuable in a group once looks fade.

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The Rise of AI-Created Music and Entertainment

Timestamps: 74:25 – 95:12

• The crew discusses discovering a Marilyn Manson song (“Unreal”) that turned out to be fully AI-generated.
• John admits it’s better than most recent Manson songs, suggesting that “the robots have arrived” for creative arts.
• Philosophical banter on how AI will reshape music, movies, legal advice, and more:
  • Quote:

    “Yesterday was the first day where I just kind of sunk in my chair. Like, it knocked us down. … AI just did it. …We’re just going to ride this wave.” – John (81:36)

• The tone is both awestruck and ominous, oscillating between excitement and resignation at technological disruption.

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News, Oddities & Radio Videos: “Brady Report”

Timestamps: 97:51 – 121:24

• Brady brings in offbeat news stories (National Fart Day, French’s Mustard ownership, Little Caesar’s employee running a rogue nighttime restaurant, etc.).
• Rapid-fire bits:
  • Atlanta Olive Garden suicide by deep fryer.
  • 150-year-old booze found in Utah (tasted by the distillery).
  • Honey recalled for containing Cialis ingredient.
  • Guinness record for most NFL games visited in a season.
• Radio video highlights include: street fights, field dentistry in poor countries, a man’s head dunked in a fryer, and an animal rescue (“nice save of a dog”).
• Memorable Moment: Segments remain visually descriptive, full of reaction noises and layered with inside jokes and good-natured teasing.

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Comedy Interview – Josh Wolf & Jacob Wolf

Timestamps: 122:32 – 157:46

• Josh Wolf and his son Jacob join the show, promoting their live improv shows.
• Father-son banter about doing podcasts and comedy together, sharing hotel rooms, and the unique weirdness (and joy) of touring family.
• Josh recounts memorable moments from his time hosting “Shark After Dark” (like Tara Reid explaining whale sharks).
• Candid Q&A about drugs, addiction, mushrooms, and generational chaos:
  • Jacob’s journey through sobriety, growing up in the comedy world, and the overlap of professional pitfalls and family.
• Memorable Quotes:

  (On smoking a joint together at 18):
  “I asked him for my 18th birthday if we could roll a joint and smoke and walk around our… He was like, let me just check this out with Mom.” – Jacob Wolf (150:30)
  (On game-show ideas):
  “For a million dollars, guess your dad. And then it’s five glory holes and out come the wieners. ... Or, guess your Mom for double the money!” – John (154:24)

  • Segment is fast, wild, and features lots of laughter about edgy game show concepts.

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Final Segments: Gambling, Advice, and Loose Ends

Timestamps: 158:38 – show end

• The hosts play “Ask the Italian,” deciding if it’s appropriate to let a five-year-old gamble at Super Bowl parties. (Bret’s answer: “He’s got to learn sometime!”)
• John shares about his elderly dog’s last days and promotes a charity Super Bowl watch party benefiting the Humane Society (“the Frankie Bowl”).
• Entertainment news: Little John’s missing son, Olympic ski-jumping crotch controversies, Bachelor host’s new dating show, and the never-ending gender role debate.
• Ends on teases of upcoming major radio station promotions and a final salute to listeners to “get that tight five!”

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• 03:34 (John): "You know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can’t not watch and think of that, because that’s exactly what it is. It’s too funny not to go with it."
• 27:16 (John): "If I ever go missing, have like a Kool & The Gang celebration, … don’t do the bur… It’s depressing. And nobody is going to look. With the right mentality."
• 42:03 (John): “You can’t joke when he was clean, right? …You just got to get out of there.”
• 54:31 (John): “If you’re beautiful right now and you know it or you think you are, think to yourself right now, what’s the best story I could tell today? ... Get a tight five.”
• 81:36 (John): “Yesterday was the first day where I just kind of sunk in my chair. Like, it knocked us down. … AI just did it. …We’re just going to ride this wave.”
• 150:30 (Jacob Wolf): “I asked him for my 18th birthday if we could roll a joint and smoke and walk around our… He was like, let me just check this out with Mom.”
• 154:24 (John): “For a million dollars, guess your dad. And then it’s five glory holes and out come the wieners. ... Or, guess your Mom for double the money!”

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Overall Tone and Style

• Humorous, Raucous, Irreverent: No topic is off limits; jokes often skate just shy of “too far.”
• Self-aware, Meta: They reference the show’s own patterns, in-jokes, and the line between tasteful and tasteless.
• Loose and Tangential: Extended riffing and storytelling often go deep into personal anecdotes and playful teasing.
• Occasionally Sincere: When discussing grief, pets, addiction, or missing persons, the humor softens into genuine reflection.

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For New Listeners

• This show is equal parts comedy, shock-jock morning radio, and conversational podcast—expect fast switches between lewd jokes, local color, pop culture hot takes, and moments of real warmth.
• If you enjoy offbeat stories, smartass humor, and comedians riffing freely, you’ll find a lot to love here.

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Skipped Sections

• Advertisements, promotional intros/outros, and lengthy contest rules omitted.
• Only essential highlights and significant discussions included.

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Episode Verdict:
A quintessentially lively, fearless, and quick-witted episode. If you’re in it for dark laughs, raw honesty, and Arizona flavor, you’ll be right at home.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

It's John Holberg here. Shaylon away for new ac unit.com I've been telling you about the amazing new ac unit.com for about three years. New ac unit.com Put the power back in your hands. Three easy steps online gets you your unit ordered, inspected and installed by the best in the business. And I'm super excited to tell you that new aceunit.com now offers many splits. If you work in a garage, a casita, or even have like a man cave somewhere back in that garage, mini splits can be a must. New AC unit has it now and you can install it. They'll even include the electrical. Save thousands save time buy online new ac unit.com it's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail]. you've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to Lifted trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftedtrucks.com Work hard, play hard, drive harder. Still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It's 5:45. This is the Morning Sickness podcast. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. As we move into a glorious day. I've got that, that overnight mung and goes with my hot shower and I just leaking all this weird stuff. It was gross, but it's out there. Whatever's in the air has got me, got me good. Couple of weeks of this just keep waking up gunky and gross. But I ain't alone. Y' all are doing it too. Everybody's got it. It's. It's a good trade off to have 85 degrees, 80 degree days in February while everybody else shovels out of their ice dens and the rest of the country. I'll take some sniffles and a little chest cold. Well, whatever blows through the air here, this toxic Stuff. I'll take that over what the alternative is. That is for sure. I gotta start today's show going, damn you, gays. What?

[A]

Those are your people.

[B]

Damn you to hell, gays. I never knew this, you know, and we've talked about this show. Heated rivalry, this hockey show that.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It spiked ticket sales. I think they.

[B]

They think so. But I. They. They got it. The gay hooks are in hockey. It's over for me. At least they put their gay hooks in. Same way they got that rainbow. Remember how pretty rainbows used to be? And now you look at them, you're like, can I? I don't think I should added Brown to him. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not going to. Well, now, let's not do that. You're not wrong. But come on, just make it a point. Remember, though, you used to be pretty confident, comfortable looking up, going, God, that rainbow is great. And you just know the like as. As a fellow, I'm like, look at that rainbow. If you and I were out, like Brett wandering.

[D]

Still hasn't changed.

[B]

No, it has, because Brett's gonna turn to me and go, oh, geez. He's gonna go, yeah. He's gonna call me a British cigarette. You would. And we'd laugh. It hasn't changed that. You internalize how beautiful the rainbow is. But in amongst the crowd, you're not going to shout out that rainbow.

[D]

I still run outside.

[B]

Oh, well, then that. Then Europe. That's basically what it is. They've got their hooks in the rainbow. It's theirs now. Rainbow belongs to the gays. And when they sink those hooks in, they keep stuff. Now, I don't know if they're planning on keeping hockey from heated rivalry, but they did something to hockey that's never going to leave my brain. You know what the gays call a hockey rink? A boy aquarium. Now, I can't not watch and think of that, because that's exactly what it is. It's too funny not to go with it. And it's wrecking hockey. Now, I'm not a huge hockey fan, but I do occasionally enjoy in this transition from football.

[D]

Is that in that show?

[B]

No, it's. They. The gays have it. They call it the bul. Aquarium. Now, evidently they've been doing this for a year in and amongst the gays. But because he did rivalry is that gay hockey show. Boy aquariums popped up a few times, and damn it all if it's not hilarious, we have to go with it. It's exactly what it is. The goddamn Boy aquarium. And I'm like, ah, you got us. We've been watching a boy aquarium for ages.

[A]

You just wrecked it.

[B]

I didn't do it.

[D]

It's.

[B]

It's Brett. God damn gay. Their fault. And that's just. You know what? Sometimes you just got to tip your cap and say what it is. That's funny. That's really funny. And. And it's accurate. We always blame women when we come up with logic and say exactly what they're doing. And we're like. And then they get mad. We can't be like that. We have to recognize that they're 100% correct here. Fighting it only makes it more gay. It's a boy aquarium. And the first team that absolutely embraces this will be the first ones that just get my vote. I'm gonna buy one of their AAA sweaters. Fans, welcome to the boy aquarium. It's a boy aquarium. Oh, Christ, you gays. You got us. That's a good one. Super accurate. Can't do it. You can't watch hockey without. If you even. Like, you're watching. And then they get one of those shots down from the glass, like behind the goalie.

[D]

Boy aquarium. They playing.

[B]

You're looking at the boy aquarium. Yeah. You go over here to the Detroit Mullen arena and see ASU's boycoin. Now it's college boy aquarium. It's like, oh, God, what's wrong with me? The boy aquarium. You gays. You're clever. You're clever and you're funny. You're funny. That's a good one. And it wrecked it for people like me who are just fence sitting. I'm not. I will never, ever act like I'm a massive hockey fan. I like the game. I can't wait. And the problem I'm having is that the boy aquarium thing is now in my head right before the Olympics, which is the one time I can't get enough hockey to save my. I love Olympic hockey. You put the. You put the country on a chest, and suddenly I love every bit of it. I mean, I can't. I don't have a team in hockey. I've tried. You know, the Coyotes? I gave it a run, but I mean, please, what were we thinking? There's no passion there. And I couldn't drive all the way to Glendale. I didn't want to. It's too far away, and it's just rough.

[D]

The move hurt.

[B]

Yeah, it was rough. But now I'm going to watch Olympic hockey. And it is. Look, you don't. Don't get grouchy. It's a boy aquarium.

[A]

Becky just messaged in. She is not just for the gay. She is. She works for two 24 year olds that recently sparked interest in hockey. Started calling it the boy aquarium, too.

[B]

At work there in the boy aquarium.

[A]

God damn it.

[B]

That's just too funny to ignore. I mean, you can't. You gotta let a good joke be a good joke. And that's one of them. I can fight it, but what I'm fighting is everything I live for, which is a clever, funny joke. And that's a good one. I'm here for the jokes. Damn you gays. If you didn't knock one out of the yard there. Just leave football alone. Because once you sink your hooks into.

[D]

That.

[B]

I start seeing that they tried it for a little while. It's a little gay to wear a man's shirt, isn't it? And it is. They're not wrong. I walk around with TJ Watt's shirt on all day long and idolize a man.

[D]

That's different chair for the Boyfield.

[B]

Yeah. No, don't call it anything. It's not. No, no, let's not. Let. Don't stretch. No, it's not. Because it isn't a boy aquarium. You don't have big plastic walls. You're looking at a boy aquarium. God damn you gays. Brilliant. And yet they stole our rainbow. Wow. What? Well, they stole our rainbow. That was our rainbow. Everybody used to share the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. You say taste the rainbow in a group of dudes now, and the first thing, one of them is gonna come back at you whether you're gay. The rainbow is now gay. And enjoying it is still easy, but.

[D]

You have to privately enjoy it. Is that what you're saying?

[B]

Can't be too loud about it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I love Shoresy. The show showsy. Give your balls a tog. It's not a boy aquarium.

[D]

Yet.

[B]

I can't even say the other word. The boy aquarium. Anyway, gays, you got me. And I'm trying. Last night, I'm sitting there watching a preview of Olympic stuff and they're like. And then you get into the big one, the hockey. Canada. Usa. Sweden. Russia. Russia doesn't really have A team, the ILC thing, but the Europeans that have, you know, the A teams and then that B level team, which isn't so far behind all those B teams, they can catch the A teams. USA could lose to like a. An Eastern block old. You know, one of the. They could. But now it's boy aquarium. That's all. I'm going to come out to this song now, you know, I already know that Michael and Troy are going to come by the house and.

[D]

Are you afraid of getting caught watching?

[B]

Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's like gay porn now. Oh, God damn it. Do it for the boys. Please welcome your Nashville Predators to the Boy Aquarium. Let's do it for the boys. Give your balls a talk.

[A]

They're all gonna be over there.

[B]

Ah, it's too funny.

[A]

Oiling each other up while they're playing and stuff.

[B]

Just like oil and hockey.

[A]

Juice, Iceman and Maverick.

[B]

Oh, man. Ah, crying out loud. It's a boy aquarium.

[D]

I'll be your wingman.

[B]

I didn't think chicks like dudes kissing the way we like chicks kissing, but this whole heated rivalry thing, they find it. Well, the dudes on the show are male models, and they're doing weird stuff to each other. So much hair. That's the reason lesbians are prettier. If it's too hairy. Lesbians. Dudes aren't into it.

[A]

Well, the ones we want to watch.

[B]

Yeah. Well, yeah, some of them are hairier. They're models. Yeah. There you go. Here's the starting lineups for your sexy Nashville predator. Let's bring out the starting five to the boy Aquari. Yeah. Well done, guys. Well done. It's all yours. Yeah. Now it's got to be one of.

[D]

The tougher ones to push it on.

[B]

Who's that? Nashville. Well, just.

[D]

Know any of the hockey players at least changed a little bit?

[B]

Yeah, we used to make jokes with Landon Wilson about it all the time at Boy Aquarium. God damn it. Brilliant.

[D]

He got me on the sexy.

[B]

There's sexy Nashville Predators throw.

[D]

Sexy in front of.

[B]

Yeah, well, that's what they would have to. Come on sexy Mammoth. Let's welcome the sexy ass Utah Mammoth to the Boy aquarium. Penalty, number 65, Karponov kissing. Two minutes.

[D]

He's been in trouble for.

[B]

Put him in the kissing booth. Oh, no. The penalty box is the kissing booth.

[A]

The kiss cam's gonna be all.

[B]

It's gonna be on the floor. Don't be on the floor. Former co worker. He's gotta call that. Yeah, yeah. Paul has to go out two minutes for Kasparov. Inappropriate touching. HR five minute major slapping.

[A]

Is there groping, too?

[B]

Yeah. God damn it. The boy aquarium is too good to ignore. I slapping, too? God, yeah, I slapping.

[A]

That was my puck.

[B]

That's mine pucking. Oh, no. Two minutes.

[D]

I think.

[B]

Yeah, I. But again, you got to tip your cap to it. It's too goddamn funny not to. Not to run with it. It is exactly what they say. And I know I'm gonna get. So what do you call girl hockey? I don't know. Unwatchable. I don't know. We care about that. Girl hockey is better than the wnba. Well, yeah, they're getting Canada usa. You throw that on there, I'll probably watch. But it's not. It's slow. I know that. The mistake they make with girl hockey is they usually put it on right around the time you just watch boy hockey. And it is a drastic disparity in blade work. The speed is insane. The girls are great. Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying, side by side, it's not. It's not as fun because you just watch something go a billion miles an hour, and then you got this love thing. What do you call girl hockey? A girl aquarium. What do you call your computer, though? I mean, us heteros have nothing on this one. It's too good a joke. Just let them have it. Don't fight back. Let them have this one. That's a. That's a goddamn monster fish aquarium. What? Oh, well, okay, I guess, if you want to go that way, but there is actually one. You're saying that they're. They smell like fish because they're vaginas? That's what Brady's saying. I got you. Rude. But anyway, I just want to tip my cap to the gays. I didn't know that was a thing.

[A]

And boy, is it turf, which it could soon be. The Twink Rink.

[B]

No, don't. See, now, don't. Let's not start running with it. There we go. Last boy aquarium I knew about was.

[D]

The T shirt's going.

[B]

The last boy aquarium I knew about was over in Father Dale's rectory. He used to have him in that hot tub all the time. And you want to climb in the boy aquarium. It was a legitimate boy aquarium.

[D]

Boy stew.

[B]

Oh, a boy aquarium, man. They did a shot from. They were showing clips from the last Canada USA Games. And every time that the camera goes down ice level and it's. Oh, you're like. I'm staring directly into the. It's a goddamn boy aquarium.

[A]

Jonathan said the same thing.

[D]

Is Johnny Weir gonna.

[B]

Yeah, Johnny. And he's hilarious, and you end up liking him and you. All right. What?

[A]

Jonathan said the same thing. Father Dale called his is the boy aquarium. Oh, never mind. John wouldn't know.

[B]

I know about it. I was never invited into the Boy aqu. Two minutes high. Sticking. I didn't even have my stick. You know what you did. Two minutes, boy. Doesn't make all hockey players gay, but it makes us gay for watching and not admitting that. It's pretty good. Yeah, it's a. It's rough. The Twink Rink. Knock it off.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't. I don't know what to do after that because the gays got us and they take stuff. They're notorious for taking stuff. That rainbow was. That was. That was a thief in the night, that rainbow. You know, you go outside now and you start taking pictures of a beautiful rainbow, you look gay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Whereas before it was just some sort of weird, like. I don't know, it's an engineering marvel. I don't know what the hell a rainbow is. It's some sort of science project just right in front of you. And you get one of those good ones. That's bright, top to bottom. We used to talk about the leprechaun and the pot of gold, and now it's just about. But. And that's the whole meaning behind it.

[D]

Man. If you do that. The Bronco and get out.

[B]

I'll tell you what. If I get stepping in that Bronco, chasing rainbows, going to boy aquariums, watch that. I mean, it's on.

[D]

You gotta do it.

[B]

You guys. You clever ass guys. I like my neighbors a lot. Michael and Troy are very funny. And they. We laugh a lot. They think I'm funny. I find them hysterical. But every once in a while they say something. I'm like, oh, my God. Never heard of it from that perspective. That's brilliant. And it's also something I can never ever see the same again because now it's just crazy. I can never look at a Chrysler Lebaron again. Are you crazy? The chocolate Lebaron. A man fountain pooped on Michael in a Lebaron once.

[D]

White, right?

[B]

White interior.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know how he realized it was going on? When he reached up to touch the. What do they call that thing? The headliner. And his hand went.

[D]

Slid.

[B]

This dude was spraying like a skunk. I'm. Thank God they don't make Lebarons anymore. But if I even. I can't even think of Ricardo Montalban. This thing. Because he used to do the commercials. The Corinthian leather of the Chrysler Lebaron chocolate Lebaron has changed the game. Cordova Cordova. In the Lebaron, it was the same car.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

The Lebaron filled with white inside. They got out. It looked like a crime scene of feces. Like, you killed the poop.

[A]

You just total the car at that point.

[B]

Oh, you never total it. You don't take that to Cairo and have it detailed. You just burn it progressive.

[A]

Be like total, no problem. Go get a new car.

[B]

Yeah. If I see a Chrysler on the road sometimes Michael's like, the Lebaron. Oh, it was the chocolate. Like, oh, God. And I just see that emblem. And then Ricardo, the Kreitler Cordoba with a rich interior Libera. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no. Chocolate was Chrysler. The Lebert. Maybe I'm even getting it wrong. Was that Buick? No, it was Chrysler.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. Good. Either way, they wreck stuff.

[A]

The twink rig killed me. I started choking on a donut as a state trooper was passing me on this.

[B]

You're gonna choke on a lot more if you start going to hockey games. You'd be at that twink rink and they're gonna serve churros the size of your foot. That's gonna be the audience for it. Gigantic sausages, kielbasa centuros wider than, like, you know, tubes in your engine.

[D]

They start selling spritzers there.

[B]

Oh, man, way ahead of the game.

[A]

The glizzy goal.

[B]

Hot nuts. Hot nuts. They already got that. Now it's gonna change. You can't eat hot nuts at a hockey game and watch the boy aquarium. It's crazy.

[A]

I sticking.

[B]

I sticking changes everything. The five hole. You can't call it the five hole anymore. There's so many things. They own it now. One little thing. That goddamn heated rivalry, which I hear is a good show. A little heavy handed on the gay. I watched an episode and I'm like, all right, they're gay. I get it. And then they just. It's. It's, you know, it's basically Cinemax, Homosexual Cinemax surrounding a hockey team. There's not a lot of hockey in it. Not a lot. People keep saying it's a hockey show. I disagree. It's hockey adjacent. These guys skate. But it's more of an out in the playoffs yet. No, no, no. I don't know if. I don't even know the standings. I honestly don't. I just know that this is an Aztec show and occasionally they strap on skates. Skates. They strap on skates and. Yeah. Then they hit the boy aquarium.

[A]

Carson Kressley's gonna be out there doing their uniforms and everything.

[B]

Yeah. It's a matter of time.

[D]

The gays with the goalie masks look like.

[B]

Yeah. Now here's the thing. I do think, though, because it is heavy clothing, a lot of bulky wear. The gays will lose interest in this soon enough, and so will the women because they realize after a while they don't really care about the action on the ice and none of these guys are going to start making out.

[A]

That's going to get tighter Fitting.

[D]

Football's biggest game is right in front of us, and you still got time to get in on the action with Underdog. It's Brady from the morning Cygnus and playing on Underdog is so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats, and if your picks are right, you could win 5,000 times your money. I'm going to go higher on Sam Darnold passing yards. So download the Underdog app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present and state where Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Insert with your play. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467369.

[B]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. But you know what will happen, and this is smart. If you're in marketing right now, you got this heated rivalry thing going. If the Coyotes were still here, I'd give them another great marketing idea on the gondola. When the, when the action stops, you take the players and you take their tarps off. That's what they call, you know, clothes you get. You stand there without your shirts on and you give like little trivia facts. You know, you have some little Finlandian guy up there is just shredded top to bottom, and he's just giving you facts on the gondola. You're selling tickets that the ladies are just going to watch. The boy aquarium because he did rivalry. You got to give them some extra stuff because they're not there for the actual hockey. They're there to see who and they've got a new audience for it. This heated rivalry, it actually did where I I've been fighting this, though, it's like, oh, hockey tickets are up. Like, no, no no, it's because the Olympics and like. No, it's the. It's the show. I really. They've got it. They. They got this. It's theirs. But the penalty booth becomes seven minutes in heaven. Ooh, double penalty. We've got guys sharing the box. Yuck. Not like that. We'll change the name.

[D]

It's in a barrel now, boys.

[B]

In a barrel. Yeah. I don't know. Excellent work days. Excellent work. Son of a. Moving on. I don't know how you do it. Sorry. Hockey, it's over for a little bit. You're gonna have a little hiccupy.

[D]

It's like your favorites will get good ratings, though.

[B]

Oh, yeah. And they're gonna have some sex symbols out of it. These dudes are gonna get commercials. They're good looking guys. They're, you know, look, they're highly tuned athletes.

[A]

It's gonna be sponsored like everything else. Like a DBAX park.

[B]

The Grinder. Go. Yeah. Oh, why? The revenue streams will come flowing in. Yeah. You know when you have like a bar you love to go to and then they start putting ferns in it and you realize what's going on here. And then there's no girls anymore. And I was like, I think I just watched the transition. Like a bar that goes to a gay bar. I just happened to hockey. Hockey just went. It's a gay. It's a big gay bar now. Conversion to a gay bar. I think the owners of BS west over there in Scottsdale never started with the intention of becoming the gayest place in the planet. It just started to become like a thing where a few gay guys told another few gay guys. And then there's this little. It's like when I was at the.

[D]

Swizzle in that time, you know, bars definitely will. Oh, they switch the initial clientele that you thought you'd get.

[B]

You're not going in there thinking only gays. Maybe Title nine was. That was a pretty direct shot at lesbians. But they gaze. Don't even know the. When I was at Switzerland and I looked over, I was with my friend Rich and I'm like, hey, what's going on here? He's like, what? And I'm like, that dude over there in jean shorts, his friend has his finger in his pants. And there you can see the active fingering. There's a. There's a piston, like, action going on back. I have video of it. I took a video. He was doing it so long, I'm like, I'm watching a dude throw digits in. Another guy is This a gay bar? Then we just started laughing. I think it was an all comer, pardon the pun. You put up, you know, a couple posters of firemen and stuff. And the next thing you know, it's like, I don't think I can go to this bar anymore. I don't think I'm supposed to be. It's like the Boom Boom Room. I don't go there because there's too many posters of Notorious B.I.G. if I go in there, I'm gonna stand out like a sore thumb. It's not that I don't want to be there or they don't like who's in there. They play great music. But the Boom Boom Room looks at me when I walk in and goes, what, Officer? I walk in the Boom Boom Room nearly immediately. There's two things. You hear nothingness, which is immediate. And then of course, you know, the whoops. Sorry. Wow. Not that, the. Yeah, that. As I hit the wrong button. Yeah. Sometimes they just play the Star wars theme when I walk in. Yeah, the Boom Boom Room. Hockey is now the. When I went to the Swizzle Inn and there was dude fingering each other.

[D]

Do you think The Denny's on 7th street had any idea that clientele, they.

[B]

Never opened that to be gay. Just happened to be a hotspot. And now you googled gay Denny's and it shows up. I did it in Chicago. Gay Denny's, 7th and Camelback or Bethany or whatever. I don't remember. It was right there. Gay Denny's known nationwide. And there are other gay Denny's, but that's the one we know. It's not a bad thing. Just a thing. Nobody found Nancy Guthrie yet. They're still looking. They got pictures of her up on the news and stuff.

[D]

And Trump called Savannah.

[B]

Yeah, I gave her a call and said, sorry about that.

[D]

Got your support. Yeah.

[B]

Here's what I didn't like this morning. I'm watching the news and they had a. They had, you know, Savannah gave a very impassioned speech. They were going to blame her brother in law. They were at the news yesterday. They were at the mom or the sister.

[D]

They're throwing the accusation a little bit.

[B]

They pulled that back.

[D]

Suspect.

[B]

They don't have any. Like they don't even know if the ransom notes are real. Like there's all sorts. Again. What I've been saying about this from jump is it stinks to high heaven. Something weird happened here. There was a guy talking who said he worked for the FBI and he said there's like usually One of three scenarios here. It's family, it's money, it's an accident. And the guy's like, what do you mean, an accident? He goes, this happens. More than you want to know is that especially. Drug cartels bust into houses to kidnap someone and they get in the wrong house and they take whoever's in there and they bail on it, and they don't get the right person. And they're like. He's like, I'm not saying that's what happened, but we've run into that case a few times. And then they're. Then they're stuck because they can't reveal who they are.

[D]

That's an area of that not far from where it could happen.

[B]

Oh, sure, that makes a ton of sense. But then I saw yesterday, after the impassioned plea, this, like, weird funeral dirge music going on, and they're having, like, a vigil for. And I'm like, oh, this is what I always say about when. When people go missing. And then I never, like the. You know, there's no hope in the idea of holding hands, looking down and kicking high grass. That's been like, we're gonna find this. We're gonna find my wife. She's out there somewhere, and I wanna thank you all for coming. And then everybody holds hands and just starts walking through high grass, kicking. I'm like, you don't wanna find her alive. You'd have your head up. You're all looking down for bones or clues, and you're kicking just in case you find one. If they're looking in water like they did Lacy Peterson that time, there's no reason to stand on the side of the shore. We're gonna find her. And I'm like, if you've got a scuba suit on, you don't have hope. There's no. There's nothing about this. You're gonna find her. As a mermaid. I want to make the impassioned plea now that if I ever go missing, have, like a cool in the gang celebration, you know, we're going to go look for John. Like, don't do the bur. It's depressing. And nobody is going to look. With the right mentality. We put a little hope on this thing. Spin it just a touch. They had this terrible, like, music in the back. And I know she's in her 80s, so it's. The odds are it's like, she's not having a great time. But if I just make that promise to me boys, that if I get abducted, that you'll have like a little. I don't know if you got it queued up right. The cooling. The gang will start firing off real quick. And you got the. You got that ready to go? I'll be happy with that. I want to hear this stuff. I want to do like. Like, you know, we're gonna go look for John today.

[C]

Who's ready?

[B]

I want it like a motivated. I want like Tony Robbins type stuff. He's been missing for four days. We don't know where he is. We don't know who got him. God damn it. We're gon find him. Freddie, you take the crew to the left. Plank, Brett to the right. Plank. Toledo stay in the car. Let's get him. Everybody's like, I don't need that other stuff. People sitting there going, we are going to miss John. And doesn't look like we're ever gonna find him. What's going on? I don't want to hear. I don't want to hear. He's gone. Savannah's talking about, we're looking for you, mom. We're gonna find you. And then they play funeral music and walk around crying.

[D]

You want her to come back?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know what to do next.

[D]

Grammy come back.

[B]

Yeah. Don't have player out there rewriting the words. Savannah's mama come back.

[A]

Hey, Elton John did it for Princess.

[B]

Di while she was dead. That was a funeral. This is what I need. Like, we're gonna go look for John. Who's with me? There's pinwheels. Like a hot dog stand. A dirty water hot dog outside. That's food trucks.

[A]

Boom boom room horn section.

[B]

Gentlemen, welcome, bounce house. Welcome to the search. Do not start a search with funeral music. If you seriously think I'm still alive, get this code. If not, it looks like the undertaker's with you. If you're walking around with a giant body sized plastic bag too. I'm pretty sure you're not.

[D]

And remember, whoever finds.

[B]

Yeah, put that on it. $2,500 scavenger hunt. Do that. The winner gets. Call it the winner. Like the winner. Like, you find me, you win like a big hide and seek. This has gotta be it. I'm watching that Savannah Guthrie mom thing and I'm like, you guys are doing this wrong. Nobody's gonna happily look for her. They're gonna have their heads down looking for bones. What a search party. That's like dancing. I want to see that weird people running in place thing like, ah. What are you guys doing? We're looking for Holmberg. He's been missing for days. I don't need this. I don't need this misery. People are killing me out there. And then they'd just be surprised if they found you. That's all that is. Wow. I found him. The funeral. We can cancel all that music. All they do is mope. I don't want a mopey rescue team. Give me the goods. Yeah, see, Brett's in. I'm ready to look for somebody. I don't even know him. You got a missing kid, I'm your guy. The celebratory search party is ready to go.

[D]

You know the one thing that they mentioned? She had a pacemaker. And my dad had one, too. And you know, you could. And she didn't have her phone, so she doesn't know. Yeah, about that. But my dad. I remember got it tweaked.

[B]

The hospital could find him.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

GPS him.

[D]

I. I wasn't sure if they could gps, but they could program it.

[B]

So from the hospital they can blip on her pacemaker.

[D]

I. I think there is. Or maybe. Maybe you have to go to the hospital to get it done, but.

[B]

So there's absolutely no marriage.

[D]

Well, they don't have to open it.

[A]

No.

[B]

Where are you going?

[D]

No, I'm trying to remember. I asked my mom if my dad got it tweaked at home. Like, he called the hospital, and they.

[A]

They chip him like a dog or what?

[D]

His ex wife has that ability.

[B]

Oh, she does. We can find your ex wife. Yeah, with the philosopher. Doctor will adjust her beeper. Yep. But does that mean he knows where she is? Because if that's true, they should have thought of that before Brady stumbled into it. Yeah, maybe. You know what caused that? Cool. In the gang. My happy search made Brady go. You know what they could do? You know, she's got a pacemaker and nobody else has thought of this. That tells me that it's not a.

[D]

I heard him say that yesterday.

[B]

Oh, I know. But I mean, if they know that and they said that on the news, you'd think, yeah, some doctor would have been like, then you can find her.

[D]

Well, at least know if it's not running.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, they got like, bluetooth on their face.

[B]

Well, that's. That's a good point. Like he's saying, like, we can just check, see if she's. If her heart's still beating. That might be bad news that they've said that and they haven't told us their hearts. They would tell you, like, her heart's still beating. Maybe why they haven't played the cool in the gang looking for. Let's celebrate. Yeah, I just want to see that. We'll get somewhere. A little positivity. We got mascots here. We're ready. Oh, no. It's Dinger. It's Dinger. Oh, it's Dinger.

[A]

I would go to Tucson for that.

[B]

Oh, it's finger. Stop yelling at Dinger. This is for better searching music. If I'm looking for something. If I'm. You don't clean the house. The funeral song. This goes on the back. It gets the house smells like Pine Sol faster. Meanwhile, themes you don't use. Gotta go find Savannah's mom. You're just not. You're just. There's a. There's a reason you can't have Rocky's sad music. And we can't find Savannah's mouth anytime. But we don't know where she gone what she do it. We think she's alive, but we don't know. No, it's easy. Brady.

[A]

Brady's here shopping.

[B]

Anyway. All I'm asking is she's gone by hollow notes. You can't have that. Don't do that. It's terrible. All I want if I go missing there's a happy group of people looking for me. You might find me dead. But like the Brady song works. Everybody's gonna go out of there a lot happier.

[A]

You don't want this one playing?

[B]

Oh, no. Maybe a little bit. It's such a damn cool song.

[D]

A smooth search.

[B]

These two whites really got this one together. This is so good. Oh, we could do a Valentine show in nine days. I think it will do it on the Friday before. God damn it. We're just gonna have Kiss 12:30 today. Yeah. Here come two white guys from Philadelphia and they are getting this right. She left him probably for a black Mr. Hall and or oats. I can't tell those crackers apart. Are very upset about it. Let's hear them tell the tale on Kiss 1230.

[D]

Real smooth.

[B]

Friday the 13th rhythm of the city coming up on Valentine's Day. I thought I posted that, but I was wrong. So I can keep going. Now these crackers fool me one more time. Here we go. That's a great song. It's a great opening line. Everybody's high on consolations. Everybody's just tapping you on the back going, hey, you're gonna be all right. Bitch left me for at the time Alvin Robertson. Oh, what a song. Yeah. I may want this at my Search Bar party just because it's a good apply really? Yeah. It's tough. Oh, I can't stop. I turn it on for. And then when Daryl gets going off, here he comes. Oh, I pay the devil to replace him. She gone. That's what Kiss 1230 Guy does, by the way he sings along. I want the ending. People don't realize it. Mostly oats on that one, but that chorus man hall comes in and just clobbers it.

[A]

Oh, that's oats for the most part.

[B]

Well, almost all. Yeah, that's John Oates sings this one. Daryl's in the back. All the videos you've never seen, that's Daryl. Damn it, I love that one. Anyway, if you're looking for me, you can throw that in the mix once you kind of realize you're not going to find me. Toss it in there, Brett. Brett can DJ My missing. Yeah, I didn't like that whole thing they were doing. It's crazy. They're not serious about finding anybody. When you're playing funeral music like that, it's brutal. Get it together, people. Try harder. Ringing bells like it's a. It's all over. It's a big hide and seek. That's what we're looking for. A big. Now we're in the Guthrie hide and seek. Let's make it exciting. That's all I'm asking. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. Fire us up today. Five eight, five nine, eight hundred. Maybe it's this goddamn. Oh, when he's coming back after the sack solo key change. Might have to play this one. Oh, I might have to play the whole goddamn album. That was how they came out of the gate, right? Rich girl. And this one. Yeah, I think that one's the first one, man. And then you listen. Oh, when the blacks found out those two, the way they looked, they're like, what? Ah, dang. God damn it. They're gonna steal it again. That was close. And hall would walk around talking about the Philly soul all the time. And like, you two don't knock it off.

[A]

I watched a interview with RE Spears and he. He was basically saying the same thing.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Hollow notes. They invited to the cookout.

[B]

They're coming to the cookout. Them and Michael McDonald. Dude, this is coming to the cookout. These dudes, yeah, they. They got. I don't know, they made the black drippings. The women's was wet. This. Oh, the crescendo. Here it comes. Whoever produced this, too, to have the horn feathered blonde hair. And you wait. You want it now, but it's not no more. We're going up another now. We're gonna go one more.

[D]

She's.

[B]

Oh, forget it. That's. That's our tribute to Savannah. Guthrie's mother took a turn on us there. Really.

[D]

Makes you feel a little bit better.

[B]

I mean, it would have been. It's kind of like what the gays did to hockey. We kind of wrecked it. Like you're gonna think of hauling oats. She's gone. Every time you watch a news story and it isn't right, you're wrong for thinking it, but you're sorry. You're. You're wrong, I guess. You're welcome. Give us a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[A]

Football's biggest game is right in front of us. And you've still got time to get in on the action with underdog. It's Brett Vesli from the morning sickness. And playing on underdog was just so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats, and if you get your picks right, you could win 5, 000 times your money. Now I'm gonna go with both quarterback and of course Sam Darnold to go higher on their passing touchdowns. Now, new apps drop daily, so download the underdog app today and use a promo code HMS to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama, Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playand getterms. Underscore dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Mich. New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800- gambler or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call 24. 7, Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY 467-369.

[B]

Still streaming. H's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Is this H? It's a trap. All right, off we go for Thursday morning open begins today. The people's open is out there and ready to go. Got some folks running around, doing their thing and being part of it. Nobody's looking for, you know, maybe Savannah Guthrie's mom's There, keep your eyes open. They're telling you everywhere you go to look. I don't think anybody's got that on their mind there. But Marshall says, man, I like it. Make it a celebration party. John's amazing hide and seek extravaganza slash cookout. If John goes missing, we have an enthusiastic search. And if he's dead, well, at least we had a good time. It's like the Easter keg. Very rarely at the after party for the Easter keg do I hear people going, I wish I hadn't done that. You have a good time, you goof around, and only one person's gonna find the Magic Keg. 98 others. You might find some other stuff, but nobody ever leaves going, you know what? That stunts. But it's fun, and that's what we're aiming for. And Brett and I were talking about that boy aquarium thing again. I got emails from people. It does. That's just so proud of you gays. But it also kind of wrecks something. Great, great joke. If I have to live my life saying, I'm here for the jokes, I have to recognize when one stings. And that was a hell of a. Hell of a hit to the world of hockey. Somebody says, john, since you now are doing a podcast, well, we've been doing a podcast the whole time. It's just now called that. With this new podcast approach, should I listen to you on the radio or the podcast? I do both, but I'm wondering which you would prefer. This takes a turn. Also, my wife and I have a sexual issue. What? I went down on her about a year ago and it was rough. And I said something. I joked that I was going to get face herpes and lose an eye. Since then, I haven't been allowed to go down there anymore. But I was just joking. Will you please fix this? This. You can't. You can't make jokes about the stinky. You just got to get out of there.

[D]

He was just. You can't joke when he was clean, right?

[A]

As far as, like, shaving.

[B]

Well, I don't know that. Well, I just know that he went down there and tasted something that wasn't.

[A]

Oh, I thought he was, like, getting rough.

[B]

No, he was saying this like he was sanding a. This is going to make me sick.

[A]

2X4.

[B]

And he went down there and he got a bad. A bad taste. He joked, she won't let him go down there anymore because it was as simple as shaving. She just shaved. Next time she would, right? She's like, no, you're not. Not risking this. And he hasn't been able to. To do that because he made face AIDS jokes. You can't do that. Not during. Maybe later.

[A]

She needs to clean up a little bit.

[B]

But even later. It's just something you just. You die with that. You just die with it. You don't.

[D]

You know, sometimes you learn things you gotta keep to yourself.

[B]

Yeah. Sometimes you don't fight that fight because if you try to. You try to go down there again, it's like now it might stink again. They never forget elephants and terrible. And they're right. You know, they're right. It's. Yeah, you get. You can't do that. We can't fix that. You blew it. And then this one says, I like this one. I like emails. That started because not a lot of people get these types of emails at work. Hey, Holmberg, you're such an asshole. I love those. I canceled my liposuction consultation because of you. You read that letter to Rachel the other day. And I've realized I've been chasing youth for years because I'm mad at my ex husband. He now has a 36 year old wife. He's 56. I spent my whole life trying to look like I was 30. Why? Then my husband, after we get divorced, finds a lovely woman who's about that age and I was mad at him. But when you yelled at Rachel the other day, I realized I'd been mad at me the whole time. I listened to you because you're an asshole. So don't take it as an insult. But this time I think it might have been me. Wendy, Wendy. Nobody said don't get liposuction. Nobody. Don't accept this. You're aging. You need to do something about it. But stop yelling at us. The whole point is don't try to look like you're 30 and then get mad when 30 is the standard. That was my point.

[A]

Do it for yourself.

[B]

But get the liposuction, for God's sakes. Get out there to sono bello or whoever's doing the work. Get it done. Nobody's saying quit. Good Lord, woman. That's the difference. You don't have to accept that. You, you just have to quit. I don't do it.

[D]

Can't accept me for who I am.

[B]

No, no, no. Yeah, that's the problem with pretty women. Oh, boy, here we go. I'm gonna do it again. Beautiful women hit their 40s and realized that they didn't develop a personality. They've been skating on their Looks the whole time. And then when personality and decisions and like, thought have to come into it, they look around, wait a minute, I'm supposed to get handed things. I'm beautiful. Like, but. Yeah, but you, we've seen you a long time now. You're still beautiful. But we're used to it. What else you got? And then they start getting suction and adding butts and boobs. Like, nah. How about now? Yeah, it'll last for a couple years. We've still seen you a long time. Like, like you got a person. You can tell jokes, good stories, anything you got in there. Play video games. What do you do?

[D]

And then if you're laughing.

[B]

Yeah. Then they go crazy. And then, and then that happens. Then they stiffen up and turn into people that don't have any fish.

[A]

McIntyre.

[B]

Yep, yep. And you start looking like one of Jeff Dunham's puppets. And you blame us for the standard. No, no, no, no. Best advice I can give a beautiful woman. Start learning how to be fun in your 20s and not in a way that's intimidating. You can't be funny and gorgeous in your 20s. Can't do it. But you can be fun and develop a personality. You don't have a personality by the time you hit 40. And you're beautiful. Us uglies, we've got it figured out. I had to develop some sort of thing in like fifth grade. I knew I was on the track for ugly real early. I was a cute kid, like a Macaulay Culkin style, cute little blonde, toe headed, you know, adorable. Sixth, seventh grade, I started to become involved. Something else. Like something was happening. My head got too big. My body never developed properly. I looked funny. In seventh grade I went from sixth grade being like, this is going to be easy, you know, I had Amber Hunt and Sharla Hartfixon and Machen scenario in my sixth grade class. And all three of them thought I was adorable. Seventh grade, something happened. I started getting weird. Yeah, a lot of that was going on. Like what happened? Like they would say it and I'm like, oh, I gotta be hilarious or I'm in trouble quick. And it still didn't get me through much, but it just got me from now, now, now I'm finally kind of aged into my head where people don't care about how I look. But boy, he's fun. And that's how you do it. Uggos have to learn early. Pretty girls, they don't have to do that. It's like athletes. Everybody wonders why you think, why is he why is Antonio Brown crazy? They're pampered because he never had to do anything. And once it kind of fell on him to be a human being. He's like, I don't know, I don't know how to do this. Everything gets handed to me. What do you mean? I gotta make decisions. Somebody else does that. Beautiful people. The best advice you can get is even if you're faking it, copy a personality and have at it. It's surprise. Isn't it surprising to men. She's gorgeous. She's really got a good personality. Yeah, that's very rare. That can be. Pretty people can be super nice and stuff but they're usually kind of void of depth or, you know, ability.

[A]

You gotta find the happy medium.

[B]

Yeah, I get that. Medium. Yeah.

[A]

Because you know, the fatties are always.

[B]

You know, they're fun. Yeah, they know.

[A]

But they had to learn mouth hugs and hands and stuff like that because they got nothing else going.

[B]

This is why hot girls always have a fat friend, because she keeps the party moving. Exactly. The hot girls just stand there. That's all they need to do. Fat girl. You know, ever go to those strip clubs and they have the fat girl as the mc because after a while the hot girls get a little boring. So you mix it up in the middle with some sort of pig that's like aware of her differences and she comes out and starts making jokes. Remember in Showgirls before all the acts came out, that big fat red headed lady come out and her boobs would fall out of that awful shirt and everybody would laugh and she's fine with it. Her boobs showed up, people laugh. The next girl, it got real quiet. She didn't have to tell jokes. You gotta learn to do that. But for God's sakes, lady, if you're going to get a liposuction consultation, go get it. Nobody's saying not to. I'm just saying stop being mad about doing that stuff. That's all. Rachel was mad at me and I didn't even do anything. She was really mad at her ex husband, if you remember the letter screaming at me, you did this, you did that. My husband left me and he's, he's. Well, we figured it out too. He's like 72 and his wife was 48 or something like that. That is that something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we always. The Belichick thing, she was mad at because we said Belichick's like. Yeah, but all you guys do is spend billions of dollars not to age and Then when men find young women attractive, you're mad. But that's what you want to look like. Like you're trying real hard.

[D]

Well, I think, you know, Brett mentioned a good point. That it. Do it for yourself.

[B]

Sure.

[D]

Because if you get into that circle where you're doing it for everyone else.

[B]

Right.

[D]

It'll never stop.

[B]

Of course. And even for yourself, it'll never stop.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

If you're trying to.

[D]

Oh, there's a fine.

[B]

Well, if you're trying to mask your sadness with physicality because you feel like you've lost a step, that's a. That's a beautiful person recognizing. I gotta get this back or I'm behind the eight ball. I'm losing to the next generation. You can't do that. Plenty of, like, super smoking hot women think something's wrong with them and then try to fix it with some. With extra. Don't do that. Yeah. Liposuction. That's easy. Nice little contours. You're back.

[A]

Dyson.

[B]

You're good. Oh, yeah. That doesn't necessarily make you look younger.

[D]

It's just pictures. You don't need it.

[B]

Yeah. Cheat code. Yeah. Maybe you don't need it. Yeah. Brady's right. [e-mail] Fire over a couple of shots. Don't call me an. And then you canceled your consultation. I never said do that. Then you'd have classes at community colleges at night for, like, hot girls and like, you sure you got a personality? You sure you got one? Because if you come in here and like, nah.

[D]

Like, we're.

[B]

You're. You might have a nice run here through your 20s and 30s, but it's going to get you. And it isn't because you look bad. It's because we've seen it.

[D]

Or teach them, like, rookie camp. Enjoy the run right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Remember, enjoy your 15 minutes.

[B]

Yeah. Go. This. It's a. Being a beautiful person is the equivalent of being an NFL running back. It only lacks for a few years, and then you better have some skills like broadcasting or an insurance. You better have something else. Everything gets tiring. There's always something coming up behind you that's like, hot. Remember the first time you saw Pamela Anderson?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When's the last time you. You Google searched that video of her and Tommy Lee. It's been a long time. You've seen it. No surprises. You know, she's beautiful. But what else you got? I've seen this one. When you start lasting 40, 50 years, your beauty's still there. But now it's just you, you gotta walk into new rooms with new people and be beautiful. And then after that, you know, he's walking in there to age appropriate rooms and all those guys are like, I've seen beautiful women before. What else you got?

[D]

Well, they say gracefully.

[B]

Age, yeah, age, yeah, age gracefully. But also keep an eye on it. But man, I'm telling you, being ugly was a gift. A gift. And there's nothing worse than a vapid 50 year old man who used to be good looking. Oh, it's pathetic. And the only disappointment comes from that. I have a friend recently that I saw who we just made fun of him. It's like you hit the quit button. This dude, this dude used to be good looking. Like he was great. Started to lose his hair a little bit. He's like, I saw. He's got to be 70 pounds overweight. He's got no hair at all and he's still hanging on to what's there.

[A]

Oh, it's at the toilet seat.

[B]

His whole face is just covered and gray and he just looks like he like he like, like got lost on a, on a ship for years and came back all sea ruddy and like, like you hit the quit button. What happened here? And he's all too quick to tell you, well, I'm old now. Like he's, he's way too, like he doesn't do anything. He's embraced age like it's a gift.

[A]

Now we got a couple friends like that.

[B]

I should have never looked better than you. You've. I admire the dudes that don't hit the quit button. Don't hit the quit button. This dude because his life was easy. Chicks falling all over him. You know what else? He's got a fat girlfriend. And I never thought I'd say that in my life. Big fat. He used to date like models. I hadn't seen him in God, I mean, 20 years, 15 years. The horrors of aging have attacked him. Attacked him like a bat.

[A]

But guys give up too.

[B]

Oh, of course. He's one of them. Hit the quit button and he's like, yeah, I got my new girlfriend and nobody said anything. And she's standing right there. She seemed nice. She had a personality. Yeah, she was fun. She made some dark jokes. I'm like, I like this, this girl's funny. But if I was a matchmaker and you gave me his name and said, what would you match him up with? I'm like, this dude only cream of the crops for hours. I know he found himself and she's troll, like she's got a bad haircut, terrible bangs that are too high. She's about five, four. I don't know. I'm not good at this. I'm in a circus. About 325, I'm guessing. I don't know. I wouldn't think. You need a crane to get her in bed.

[D]

Send pictures.

[B]

No, don't. Gotta get them from the Hubble. She was wide is what I'm saying. She's not 325, but she was big for him especially. And she had dumpy butt too, which was bad. Like, she had jeans that. Like, they're sloshy is the word I would use. I turned to my friend and I'm like, you remember him? It's like, jesus Christ, what happened? I'm like, that's the last thing you want people to say about him. And he's. He's always lived on it. It's not easy to hit the quit button, ladies. You can't. If you're beautiful right now and you know it or you think you are, think. Think to yourself right now. What's the best story I could tell today? Like, what's a good story? Because you know how many times we've listened to hot girls tell stories that just don't go anywhere?

[A]

Like nails on a chalk.

[B]

Land the goddamn plane. And then you realize midway through the story, this thing doesn't have an ending. We're on that Malaysian flight that just goes until it dumps into the ocean, like, oh. And we just. Great. And we're laughing like, oh, my God.

[A]

I'm canceling. God.

[B]

And then I get distracted and they start dancing to something. I'm like, oh, no, she's lost. And I gotta pretend to be interested. It. We don't do that the whole time. On your way to work today, ladies and Wendy, reschedule your liposuction. Yeah. Re. First off. Yeah, call them back. That was stupid. I might be an. But I'm not. That was a dumb move. Keep chasing that. But don't be mad about it. That's all I'm saying. Chase youth. Don't be angry about it. And on your way to the Sono Bella where you're going to get sucked up, ask yourself, what's a good story? I tell a succinct get. It's like a comedian. Get a tight five. Get a tight five minutes that you can always lean on with people at parties. And then. Oh, man. Have you heard Wendy's story about the octopus and the pencils? Wendy, you gotta tell it. That is when people are like, my God, she is just. She's got it all. Tell a good story. Tight five. That's all we're looking for, is a tight five. And if you're a man with a hot woman and she's got a tight five, and that sounds terrible, but you know what I mean. A tight five goes forever. And being an ugly person, I've got, like, a tight 35. I can go all over them. You bring up a topic, I can bring something to the party on that guy. Please. Brady's got a tight 50. You get Brady into motorcycle rides, he can tell you about dudes who crap their pants. He's got great stories. Ugly people always have great stories. Brett, I'm not so sure about you. Well, you don't like to talk about, you know, your stories. Usually someone has to go to jail. Your stories are great.

[A]

I have no stories.

[B]

No, your stories are great. But Brett is one of those. He comes in and say, he's a handsome man. He goes, vic, how you doing? You're like, what's going on, Brett? None of your business. And then you sit in his. And then he goes, look at this. And then he gives you a picture of his grandfather with Jimmy Hoff. And I'm like, that's all you need. Like, he's pict doing. Brett, this is fascinating. I know. And then he goes, somebody just said tigger. And then he walks through the room and starts laughing. He hears in the background, well, I mean, it was a chink in the armor. What happened.

[D]

I like this guy.

[B]

Brett heard you say chink in the armor. Anyway. That guy. Yeah. And that's your personality. Like this guy. He's just jovial. What about Toledo? No, personality is the word I'm looking for. That's how you got to have one. They actually. I don't know. Does Toledo have a tight five? Toledo. I think he's got the door closed.

[D]

Hi, Richard.

[B]

Get out. Up. There he comes. Toledo's got a tight five. Now that I think about Toledo. You come into a party, and I'm like, hey, give him your tight five. Toledo. Tell him that story. You know the one. And then what? What do you go to? Whore grandmother. Whore grandmother. It's a. It's a phenomenal monster. Tight five. Five. And it leads to a tight 20 because people have questions. Horror grandmother might be the tightest of all of our stories.

[D]

Absent biological father.

[B]

And that one gets a little shady because you get not as interesting. Whore grandmother selling babies. Yep. Prostitution. It's got everything looks written about the whole institute. Look at this. Yeah. The documentary about your whore grandmother and her story.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Not the whore grandmother. The one who bought the chiropractor.

[D]

Who.

[B]

Who already interested the baby buyer. The baby buyer. She's the baby seller.

[D]

Oh. She's. She was the middleman. Taking a little bit off the top.

[B]

Wasn't the baby buyer of Billings. What's her name? But Montana. Okay. Gertrude Pit Cannon. God damn it. See? Look at us. We're all just like, oh. Edge of our seat for rich.

[D]

And they have a title.

[B]

Gertie's babies. All of them.

[D]

They found each other.

[B]

He's the standard. Toast is the standard. If you're a hot girl and you can't top a Toledo story. Get in the. Get into the liposuction in your 40s and end it. That's a fact. Tight five. That's a great tight five. Mine vacillates. What are we talking about? And I can usually bring you something. I usually have jokes about Dad. I got all sorts. I can bring you anything. I'm talking about Father Daniel. Oh. I got all sorts. I got good stories. I got an 8th grade teacher jerked off a horse in front of me. I can go anywhere. I'm sure all of us in this room have something like, Oh. I can relate to that. I don't know. It'd be a topper. But Brett's high school was a slaughterhouse. Brett slaughtered a cow in high school. Nobody. I don't know anybody who has that. I don'.

[D]

Anybody. I'm from Montana. We didn't have that.

[B]

There are 11 to 15 people with the story of our agriculture teacher jerking off a horse. That's it. I can't imagine that they allowed that twice. Somebody's mom and dad called. What happened at school today? My kid won't stop crying. He saw. And they're like. Oh. He was on the field trip. Yeah, to the horse farm. What did you do?

[A]

Oh.

[B]

The teacher jerked off a horse.

[D]

There'd be a lawsuit.

[B]

Now put a bag of seeds called animal husbandry into another horse. You saw the. It said he was going to the farm. He's in eighth grade. Why'd you jerk a horse? You know how insecure this kid is about his penis as it goes through changes and you got to look at a horse dick. What did you do that for? Want to teach him about animal husbandry?

[C]

They're.

[B]

They're 13. They're not gonna. The only thing you're gonna remember is that they just started that themselves. That's a story. Jerking off on the side of the 87, coming back from pace. And I got stories. Stories. I got good ones on the motel floor. Motel floor was prom night. Well, my date slept, but the one that I.

[D]

How many people in the room?

[B]

One. Just one.

[D]

Oh, 50.

[B]

Scrambled porn. 50 or 60. I'm like, I'm doing this. He's not putting out. Yeah.

[A]

India just emailed. Said John's not ugly. He's good looking for a white guy.

[B]

All right, calm down. Oh, India.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Settle her down there. India. Don't you start in with me. I'm gonna start throwing. Throwing barbs back at you for a white guy. How ugly are white guys to you?

[D]

Come on.

[B]

That could be. I don't know. We've got India on the phone. Let's see, India. This one says, Toledo's got great stories. Here's my top five from Toledo's Tide 5. You got that racist parrot story story? Yep.

[D]

Fan.

[A]

That's a great one.

[B]

Fantastic story. Whore. Grandma, you turned a woman gay.

[D]

I did.

[B]

Gay son. This one says gay son. That's not fair. His lack of a dad. Yeah. It's a story again, that's down. It's not a good 5.

[D]

Find the right room for that one.

[B]

Here's the tight five with that. We're Abbott and Costello there, okay? Because you start telling the story of your dad, and then I break into the stern and start doing Baba Bastard. And then. Then they're like these. Passing from a basket. Yeah, yeah. I'll throw in the jokes. Wig. And then, you know, this happened. I never met him, and I'm boxing from a basket. He's the inspiration for There Will Be Blood.

[D]

Kind of harsh.

[B]

His friend was evil about it. They're hilarious. Yeah. My friends down. You know, Anthony Paglisa wants to. Puglisi. He always do the Stephen Hawking for her. And I'm like, oh. So I'm the. I'm. I'm his little. You know. Know that. What kind of monkeys do the symbols?

[D]

Yeah, Capuchin.

[B]

What do they call those things? The organ grinder.

[D]

There you go.

[B]

He's gonna get the money, and I'm gonna do the performing. So I wander over and I usually say something quite vulgar as Stephen Hawking. The girls laughed. And then Anthony is like, yeah, he's funny. And we got a tight five.

[D]

Don't forget the racist parrot. Has a. Has an end story. Remember the pimp kid that was. That was coming to the house and.

[B]

He turned into a pimp? He went to jail.

[D]

He went to jail.

[B]

Died in Toledo's. Got the tightest of all five. See? And these ugly girls need these kind of things. Pretty girls, you need to borrow Stu. You know what? Do like Kramer did in Seinfeld and buy the stories.

[D]

There you go.

[B]

Pretty girls today. Go find an ugly girl at the office and just go. Brunhilde, what is it? Stephanie? She's very loud, Brunhilde. We could hear her downstairs. Jesus Christ. Anyway, is there any way I could get you to sell some of your life stories? I haven't developed a personality and I'm aging out. I still want to look pretty and be interesting. It's hard because they've never tried that before. It's got to be tough being beautiful. I can't even relate. I have no idea. Let me just walk in a room and everybody's like, whatever she says is great. Whatever he says is awesome. Awesome.

[D]

And people gravitate toward you at first.

[B]

And then you know, that's what you're seeing.

[D]

You got to get it, got to keep it going.

[B]

If you're just pretty, we'll get used to that. You got to have some angles there. So back to Wendy. Don't yell at me. Wendy, go get your liposuction. That was a good idea.

[D]

So does Bill Belichick's Jordan have her experience now?

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Like, is her life start now?

[B]

No. He keeps saying she's an old soul, but I think you say that for the first couple years. Years until her story make her feel better. Doesn't have any good stories, but he doesn't care at this point. He's not looking for long term because he has no long term. But Max, he's like eight years, right?

[D]

Oof.

[B]

Her worst nightmare is that Belichick bleeds into his 90s and she sticks around through all that. And then she's got to re enter the world at 40, but she's got Belichick style. It'll help her.

[A]

That's just it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I think she's got personal. I think she's got moxie. Belichick's chicks got a little push on her.

[D]

We're not talking about that.

[B]

Yeah. And she starts when she just stepped in. And I got this to Bill Belichick, like, you calm down, I'll take it over from here. And he's like, yeah, that makes sense. There's something, A, it's magic down south. And B, and. And that's the thing about a 70 year old man. He's tired of the stories. He's back. He's Back to square one. I just want the pretty back. I don't care about your stories. It's too hard. Hard? Cultivating through all your nonsense. Tell good stories. Rochelle says I've been thinking about this for years. Because you've talked about it before. I've been thinking about my stories, John. Remind me to tell you the one about what I have in common with Bill Belichick and his girlfriend. Also about the time Chris Hansen interviewed my ex husband. Oh, I'm totally involved. You can be overweight and hideous. I'm gonna sit. Just my hands on my chin. Just go. And what else? Holmberg's morning sickness.

[D]

I heard one yesterday. The guy that has. So I was walking the dogs, go to the green belt, and I go by Carl's farm. Oh, he's the guy that has the misfit farms, the rescue animals. And how long have I known that guy? Or gone by bringing Kirby by there for years and years. He comes rolling up in his golf cart, painted black is blaring out of there.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then he's like, that's my kind of music. I had no idea. And he's like, yeah. I went up to. I graduated in 67, and I drove up to San Francisco. I thought I'd pick up some hippie chicks, but they wanted nothing to do with me because I was wearing blue jeans and.

[B]

Sure.

[D]

So I come back down and I'm with my buddy in Prescott. We go to a bar, and this guy comes up. My buddy has a vest on. And the guy comes up to him and says, hey, where'd you get that vest? And he's like, what store did you get it at? He goes, I didn't get that store. I made it. He made it. Could I buy it off ya? He's like, no. And he looks at the guy, holy crap, that's Steve McQueen.

[B]

Steve McQueen tried to buy his coat.

[D]

Tried to buy his vest. And he says, no, I'm not gonna.

[E]

Sell it to you.

[D]

But you know what?

[B]

What?

[D]

Here you go.

[B]

See, that story was horrible until the end. Yeah. I was like, where are we going?

[D]

Steve McQueen. McQueen goes, I want to give you money. I want to pay for this. He's like, no, absolutely not.

[B]

He just gave it to Steve McQueen.

[D]

Steve McQueen. McQueen says, it was a music festival going on. How long are you going to be here? We'll be here all day. Three hours later, McQueen comes back and he's riding up on a Harley and he says to a la. You know how to ride this thing? The guy's like, yeah, I got a bike I can ride. And he goes. Hands him the title and the keys. Here you go. Signs the gas tank for the guy. The guy still has the bike up.

[B]

Gave him a motorcycle jacket. God damn it. That's a hell of a story for men in their 50s. Plus, you can't use that one on young people. But God damn it, if Bullet signs your motorcycle and gives you good Christ. That's pretty good stuff right there. Steve McQueen handing you stuff just for a jean jacket.

[D]

And I was like, I'm trying to figure out. They're filming the western up there.

[B]

Yeah, who cares? It's pretty awesome. That's like Jack Nicholson's I wanted to buy your shoes. Are you interested? Sure. What size are you? I'm a nine and a half. What are those? I'm a 12. Sold. And I want to take you outside and sell you my car for nothing. That would be phenomenal. Yeah, that's a good. The story, honestly, beginning, terrible. I was going nowhere, and you're like, but because it's Brady, I trust that this is going to have an ending on it. That's going to be worth it. I know, I know. But when an ugly guy starts telling a story and you get a little bored, give him time. Give them time. Nothing worse. My buddy Stebbings just interrupts your story constantly with questions. Can you not follow the bouncing ball? Just run with me for a second. I'm ugly. My story's going to be good. If I was good looking, you'd have every right to interrupt me. But I'm an ugly man and I tell. I tell stories like an ugly man, which means they're great. Rods are the same. Michelle. This is why women can't do it. She's the one who just emailed me and said she got good stories about Chris Hansen, her husband and stuff. And I'm like, you could. What I said was, you could be overweight and hideous, and I would have my hands on my saying. Well, then she emails back because she's all in her emotion. She goes, I'm overweight and hideous. Oh, for Christ's sake. This is why we don't talk to you. I said, you could be. You're not Rochelle, you're a beautiful lady. But for crying out loud. You get my point, right? So much easier being a dude. So I just said, man, that story, Brady's. I even told him in the middle of it. Your story was terrible to the end, but I trust you because you're ugly. And he didn't fire backwards. What do you mean you can't even say that? That story Rochelle was telling could be told by a fat person without her worrying about how she looks. You're all in your emotions, ladies. Get out of your way. A tight five. That's what we're shooting for today. A tight five. This guy says, I gotta work on some of mine, but I got good starts. One story I tell grew up in a house my parents got a great deal on because prior to us getting it, the owner of the house killed his wife and then killed himself inside. My dad got a deal. Great story. You must be hideous looking. Second story. My grandpa may or may not have been in the CIA. He worked for the army for 45 years and never told anybody where he was half the time. Speculation Stories are always fun because then the group that you're telling it to can. If they're entertaining, they can fan fiction. The end of your story. Finally, my third story is my lesbian aunt who's been with her partner for 35 years and my whole family still won't admit it. They just call her her friend. Solid, Greg. Great work. Good. Type five. You must be hero Horrendous. Here's Brett's top five stories. What are you writing the book? Number two? Who's asking number three? I said, who the is asking? Number four? What do you get the nerve to ask me that? Number five? I never heard of him. Older. Brett's type five. And I don't even say it's five stories. I'm saying the type five minutes that you can give it to them. Steal from us.

[D]

Every once in a while he goes, remember in Casino?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh. Somebody says, well, I. I was on a set of Casino Brisk, but tell me everything about that day. Start with what you ate and then move on throughout the day. Did you meet Rickles? Yeah. Type five. Get on that. Steal from us. To pretend some of the stories we've told are yours, Take Brady's Andy Leslie, serial killer, crazy friend in the neighborhood stories. Make them yours. We should offer a service in the podcast where you click off onto a thing that says need a tight five. Here's. Here's 12 evergreen stories that anybody can tell. Tell the story about how when I. I bent down and had that ruler in my mouth and your dad thought. My dad thought I was gay. I was measuring depth, but I wasn't. I just had an accident with a ruler in my mouth and chopped up the back of my throat and had to go to the hospital. It was not a good day.

[D]

When your dad vacation in Cuba in 55, 56.

[B]

Exactly. Think of that. And you didn't even think of that. Pete from Chicago, we made that a fantastic story. You didn't ever think your dad was part of the revolution until you got with us. That makes it a good story now. You got all those avenues to go down. Think of how good that story got now, because now when you tell it, you're like, and then we don't know. He might have been part of the overthrow in Cuba. He didn't talk about. About it. You don't want to say that about your.

[D]

Put the two, you know, and like, you met Pete from Chicago, never had a last name. And they hit off and he set up Pete with a game with Jack Nicklaus, a golf game.

[B]

And the next thing you know, he's in Cuba during the revolution. And he never talked about it. But the, the timeline doesn't add up. Your dad was part of the revolution. Great stuff. Get a tight five. Get a tight five. Thank you, Wendy, for turning a certain age and then getting really weird about, like, your body and Rachel's. Rachel's letter on Monday is going to help a lot of women. I think it made a lot of sense to sit back and again, I looked at it. It's, you know how much money it is annually Worldwide. Women's Cosmetics. 13.

[D]

Billion dollar industry dollars now some.

[A]

Of them need it.

[B]

And that's just like the Walgreens and stuff. We're not talking about Botox or that kind of thing. That's plastic surgery retail. That's just sales of Sephora and hair products and $13 billion for just the Walgreens aisle. Basically. It's not like Walgreens pulling it all in on their own, but you know what I'm saying. And it's their goal to never age. And then they get mad at us for liking what young women look like. But that's what they all try to do do. So, Wendy, keep trying, but recognize it's not. We're not angry at you. Don't be angry at us.

[A]

John Mile lady's a pretty solid trailer park six.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Worst storyteller ever, but cooks really well.

[B]

Yeah, see, he developed a skill. She developed skill. It's like, you can have a lame husband, but he's. He's handy around the house. You're like, well, that makes up for an awful lot of his farting. Gotta have good stories. Got to be. Gotta have a skill. I don't have any skills. I better have some store. I better be entertaining the laughs. Better Keep coming. Because once they stop, I got nothing else to offer. I better be goddamn hilarious every time that TV's on. Making fun of whatever's on there or adding to it or just keeping my mouth trapped shut when it's supposed to be. Because when it comes down to it, when the power's out, it's time to figure out how to start the generator. I don't know how to plug that in. I'm afraid I'm gonna blow the whole house.

[D]

It's gonna take a minute.

[B]

It. It's going to take more than that. And it's probably going to be a couple of accidents along the way somewhere or another. The car will get dented. I don't know how, but it will also. Nothing you need to worry about anymore with this because we're done. Marilyn Manson got us yesterday. Yep. That song we played is AI. We weren't sure, but we're like, no way. It is AI's what Marilyn Manson could write today. And it is, if you ask me, Marilyn Manson's third best song. And it's not him.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Can we put that in rotation?

[B]

Sure. Regardless, why not?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Who owns it? Keep, keep in mind what we heard yesterday with the Marilyn Manson thing. We have not had a response for a new song like that in years.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

The emails went crazy. I played it twice in a row. I'm like, I can't get enough of this. My emails went nuts. The texts went crazy. Everybody loved this song Unreal by Marilyn Manson. And we found out later for sure. We fought it. We were trying to find. It is an AI song. Right. Imagine your 3 year old child developing the skill in his 36 months to do something better than you've ever heard someone else do. Because that's what AI is. It's three. It's brand new. Remember when the Internet was new new in three years time? We didn't see that AI in three years.

[D]

In three years it has a tight five.

[B]

And not only has a tight five, it's got like Grammy winning change the genre type five. This is fake. Yes, it is. It's inhuman. It's called unreal. We couldn't figure it out yesterday. It's like, it sounds familiar, but it's brand new. It's got the. It's not real.

[A]

He needs to hire those dudes immediately.

[B]

It's called there are no dudes to hire.

[A]

Well, I mean, well, the guys that put it together in the AI system, somebody had a program it tell it to write a Marilyn Manson.

[B]

Write a Marilyn Manson. Right. That's.

[A]

They need to hire him. Them guys.

[B]

Why? They're talentless. Put it in yourself. You don't need them. It's.

[D]

It was AI that wrote it, right?

[B]

He said, some dude put in, write me a brand new Marilyn Manson song. And maybe you put in beats per minute and a theme. Reality is a suggestion. The words tell you the whole time. None of this is real. Unbelievable. Come on. So we got duped yesterday. Not necessarily, but people still want to hear it.

[A]

I mean, it's crazy, but there's.

[B]

There's where we are. Here's the first day of it. Here's the first day of, okay, it's better. Here's the first day of not being afraid that we are outmatched. Here's the first day of saying, my favorite artists can keep going. And that should be something. As humans, here we go. That we think to ourselves, we can't let it be better. But it's gonna be, and it's gonna be more convenient and more entertaining and faster and easier than what we can do. That right there, at least for me, from my perspective, is the first time that we've had AI say, I got this. And I said, you do. I like playing with it. That's the first time it brought something to me that said, you can't beat me. The first time. Not that I wasn't aware that it wasn't faster and smarter than me, but that's the first. The first entertainment moment where I'm like, oh, yeah, completely unnecessary. Yeah, it's. It got us. Isn't that crazy? I. And I like it better. So I'm going to acquiesce. I'm not going to sit and fight it. I'm not going to go full Lars on this thing and say, we've got to stop this if that's what it can do. That's going to bring joy to me. Me faster and better than people can. And that's really all we're looking for as humans is where, how fast and how good is it? Because I'll give up all my freedoms and stuff like that for convenience. We've proven that. And anybody who fights against that's crazy because you're gonna. You know what you're gonna do to yell at me? You're gonna email me, you're not gonna write me a letter and you're gonna drop it off yourself. So you know what I'm talking about when you say, oh, I'm mad now. So I will digitally email him. He'll get it immediately. That's Convenient. You've already done that. That a few times, and by doing so, you gave up your digital thumbprint to an entire world. You don't understand while you're going to bark at me that I would never give up to the AI Blob. No, you already have. I would never give up freedoms for convenience. You already have. When you email me to tell me you haven't. You already have. Especially if at the bottom it says sent from my iPhone. You gave up convenience. You gave up freedom for convenience. Tell me one person that's read the I. The Apple Agreement. You gave up your freedom for convenience in a lot of ways, and it's just going to keep happening. But you know what? It's not that bad.

[D]

I read a couple of words. I agree.

[B]

Yeah, I saw the. I saw that. Where. Where is scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Jesus. Disclaimer. Scroll, scroll. You know how dumb we are? Our frustration with agreeing to the Apple Agreement is how long it takes to scroll. That's how addicted to convenience we are. Oh, how many pages is this thing that puts us off? We're not reading it. We don't know what's in there. Oh, finally, I'm at the bottom. I agree. Click. I agree. I'm not a robot. That's a street light. All of that stuff.

[D]

Tough enough with a long text.

[B]

Oh, my God. Even the phone's kind of like. You've noticed the new iPhone thing when somebody types you a long text? Even my phone's like Chris Katero saying something about the Steelers. It just gives you a synopsis, for Christ's sake. Are we on that again? It's even with me. Like, let's just shorten everything. Yeah, we gave up. We gave up a lot of freedom.

[D]

Keeps it to a tight five lines.

[B]

Yeah, well, yeah, try to. You try not to over text. Chris and I go nuts about Steelers talk. Our texts are long, but even the phone will tell you, I don't want to hear from anybody screaming about, well, I would never give up my freedoms for. For. No way. You already did it. You're emailing me. You did it. It's done. Not all of them, but if Marilyn Manson's new song is that goddamn good and it's not humans, do we fight the robots or do we welcome them with open arms?

[A]

I don't want to hear it again.

[B]

I do, too, because it's great. So Brett and I are on the page of bowing to our overlords.

[D]

What will be interesting is. Is original music.

[B]

Don't need it. It's gonna who's gonna create.

[D]

Let me ask you this, an original, unique sound, Brady. Like, hopefully it should be able to.

[B]

It'll find it. Because I was thinking of Human Element won't disappear. No, but nobody's going to nurture that. Look what happened when the Internet showed up. Record companies stopped nurturing bands. It became about, how fast do you have one hit hit, we don't care about anything else you've got. Then record companies became unnecessary and Justin Bieber showed up and said, I'll just do this on YouTube. And he showed up and Billie Eilish, she. Everything she did was without a record company until there was one involved every. Like Ocean Eyes, that first song that I remember came out. It was a. Just in her basement on the Internet and it went viral. Then record companies didn't know what to do do because, like, they can do it without us. What record company, if that made them stop spending money on humans, is going to spend money to nurture Brady Eilish for 5 years when I can just have AI do it now and I'll have that. This Marilyn Manson thing. You tell me Marilyn Manson's management wouldn't go, get it out there. We did this in three minutes. Marilyn, go write me a new song. You're not getting this. But AI just did it. So the record companies have got to put their arms around this because this is where the money is. They don't have to pay for anything. There's no touring unless Maryland goes, hey, the AI songs, can we. Can I play them live now?

[E]

It'll be.

[D]

Yeah, but a lot of those instruments, you won't need them.

[B]

Well, no, I mean, well, but it would still be cool for us as we age out of the live performances to say, well, I saw Marilyn doing all of his AI songs. He wrote an AI album. And who knows? And there's the other thing, is that all these artists that are coming up with songs, they're using it. Because if. If I was. It's steroids. It's like steroids in baseball. If I'm hitting 12 home runs a year and I take steroids and it's going to add six, that's like $3 million more on my next contract. You think Marilyn Manson's not looking at this going, oh, my God, I haven't had a massive hit like this in a long time. I'm doing it. I'm going to borrow AI, I'm going to knock this out and we'll record it ourselves. That's it. Why wouldn't you. But is it cheating or is it legit? After that song yesterday, I realized, you know, what matter as exactly as a fan doesn't matter. I'm entertained. I enjoyed that better than I would trying to like what you put out. Phenomenal. But this conversation in 10 years will be hilarious to look back at. But as it stands right now, yesterday was the first day where I just kind of sunk in my chair. Like, it knocked us down. Like now. Now it. Right. Not just writes songs, but it writes, like, much better original songs. It's not joking. It's like, what do you want? Watch this. I can understand where you'd listen to it and go, wow, that sounds a lot like Marilyn Manson. But that's Marilyn's best song in a while, maybe ever. When's the last time I played. Played a song two times in a row. I think it was Death Magnetic. When I first heard Metallicus, they were like, that's pretty awesome. Let me hear that again, see if I like it. Yesterday, I couldn't get enough of it. If I was in the car, I'd have hit the back button the second that thing ended. Just put it on a loop. I'm going until I get home. So spooky. Also something you need to worry about. China showed a video yesterday. I was watching the news this morning. China's got an idea that I think we can thank Darth Vader for. They don't have it ready yet, but their new plane can launch planes. It's an aircraft carrier that flies.

[D]

Like from the Avengers.

[B]

Right. It's movies. They don't have the technology. And the American, you know, I can't do this. That's crazy. China. They're working furiously at this, and they. There's billions of them. So they like math and they like technology. And it might not be good. It might be temu. But if that thing works for like an hour and a half, we're behind the eight ball there. But they started to show the. The mock up of it and this thing just flying around in space or in the air. And jets can land on it and then they lock down. I'm like, that's the neatest thing I've ever seen. And then the jets they have are like Harriers. They can't. Like.

[A]

Right, yeah.

[B]

You know, they kind of float down on top of it. And Xi Jinping is checking us out. And then all of his, like, I don't know who's who. I gotta be honest with you. I'm watching this thing. It was carbon cop. I was AI. It was carbon copy. Asian dude, pole haircut next to an Asian dude with a bowl haircut. Next. And they're all ministers of something or other. Defense, foreign affairs. Killing people in Taiwan. I don't know what they're up to, but they had that video role. They all had their arms crossed. Like, yeah, yeah, we're getting this. We're working a lot on this. I'm like, oh, if that thing goes up, I'm gonna. I want one.

[D]

Just trying to think what, you know, the advantage and the defense as far as military wise, you think it'd be easier to maybe out. I guess one's in the water, the other's in the air.

[B]

I'll tell you this. The. You ever see a scorpion with babies on its back? It's that you might be able to kill the mom, but you got a problem on your hands when it just goes. And everything leaves. And now you get 40 or 50 of these things firing away. It's just a refueling center. Yeah, it can float up. It's really cool.

[A]

It's like Independence Day where they have the mothership and all the mother little ones just started coming out.

[D]

They keep them on the ship now. You can be.

[B]

I want to be alive for this. I want to be alive to see this. I want one of those to float by and land at Papago. Choppers on it and stuff. Have you ever seen an aircraft carrier in person?

[D]

An old one?

[B]

Oh, my God. I was at Fleet Week in New York once. Oh, my God, Huge. They got runways on them.

[D]

Think of that. They hook them.

[B]

The tail hook is the one. But that's a Runway.

[D]

I saw. I'm crazy. It was yesterday or day before. Talking about. Our carriers are now landing the cargo plane.

[B]

Yeah. We get a C. One of those C17. Yeah. Those gigantic super planes can hit one of our boats. You see the video yet to find it? The Chinese airship. Yeah. I was watching BBC News this morning. Hey, Brett, how many scoops do you put in a coffee maker to make coffee?

[A]

One and a half, two.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm way overdoing it. I'm filling half of the filter.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's a little.

[B]

That's a little rough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tastes great. That's too much. Can I use that?

[D]

Twice over kills it.

[B]

Makes it stronger. I like strong.

[A]

Well, then you're fine. I mean, there's no, like, set number or the bagging. Well, that's what we do here.

[B]

That's. You know, I'm just now trying to.

[A]

But it's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's only going like Maybe halfway up to the filter in this one.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I'm trying to. I'm trying to get into coffee and I start my day with it. Now I hate it. It's terrible.

[A]

Always hated that.

[B]

Oh, it tastes like garbage. It's basically a milkshake at this point. I just take some fat free creamer and pour them. But I don't know how to make it. I. I don't think I'm doing it right. But it works either way. We're all doomed. AI and the Chinese together. Forget it.

[A]

Let that, my friend made it with the cow.

[B]

Get it? I want to party with you, madman. You are mad, man. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[A]

All right, wake up, song. Since I get my computer to figure this thing out. Here we go.

[B]

All right.

[A]

On the list. Talking about hockey earlier. Eddie Murphy, Boogie in the butt. RuPaul Supermodel.

[B]

Why did they want Boogie in the butt? Because of the boy aquarium. Boy aquarium? That's silly.

[A]

Stp. Dead and bloated. We all know why. Motley Crue Sound Garden, Godsmack for you Fest. Mad Season Disturbed seven Dust, new song, Slayer, Pantera. Five minutes for our top five there.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Pantera. That. That's the. I like that.

[A]

Pantera's 5 Gnr out to get me.

[D]

For the new 7 dust is legit.

[B]

I don't know. The song's called Is this Real? So I don't. I say, yeah, let's go with Pantera's five minutes for your tight five. We've been trying to encourage you. Get a tight five together. That's what you. That's when you put. A comedian's goal is to get a tight five, hit the open mic with a tight five, and from there you'll go. But that's true of all of us, especially you beautiful people. If you're beautiful, you got a great ass and nice cans and your face is pretty. But you don't have a tight five. People will get tired of looking at you eventually. You got to bring something else to the party. Like Wendy, who's got to reschedule her liposuction and get out there to Sono Bello. You got two things to worry about, Wendy. Tight five and tighten that tummy. Pantera will tell you five minutes alone. Do you have a good type five that keeps you from getting your ass handed to you by filling the boys? It's Pantera. So wake him up. Go get him. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 Kubt still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] I feel so alone. Gonna end up a big old pile of them bones. That sounds like on the podcast. Me just blabbing along with the song. Probably terrible. You're on the Homework's Morning Sickness podcast right now. Just. You're just getting the. The live radio recording of the podcast happening now. You're a privy to that. You still listen on the terrestrial way as this podcast now is broadcast all over the place. 98kupd.com and everywhere you get your podcasts. I'm going to keep pushing it, but this little endeavor we got going on right now is the live recording fun taped before a live studio audience.

[D]

That's this.

[B]

Sure. It's real. It's real. Is it? See? And there's the other thing. Guy emailed me. He goes, oh, my faith in humanity is destroyed. You guys dropped that Manson song yesterday. I loved it. I looked it up all over the place. Not on Apple. I wanted it on the playlist. I used Google, Google Spotify. Nothing on this song. That should have been a clue, but it wasn't. I looked at the video. I reviewed the channel it was uploaded from on YouTube. Even the channel it came from. All the songs don't exist. It made me realize music's dead, boys. And I hail our robot overlord. Signed Alex. Yeah, you know what's going to be even more amazing? Because two years ago you wouldn't have said, well, they'll write a song better than any professional songwriter. It's gonna be better and you'll trust me, you'll like it. Wait till they write a movie with no real stars in it. Wait till they do a podcast. And they already do. That is more insight than anything else. I sat last night again. I had my friend who needed a lawyer. And so every time I have any legal questions at all chat GPT is amazing. Like, I have one sheets that wrote out to help me discuss the topic easier and understand law and how to be fair and how to understand it was so crystal clear. And all you have to do is go, I don't understand this. Give it to me in layman's terms, hit me with and no problem. And two and a half years ago didn't even exist. And now I can sit in and for free, ask legal questions top to bottom and get really good answers and ask it like 11. It's got every single thing and we never guessed. And now it's writing songs. We're done.

[D]

But you Know how they do the, like, journalist will monitor and do AI news.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And they say it's like 40%.

[B]

Sure, sure, sure.

[D]

How does it work on the legal side?

[B]

Like, you take it to another lawyer. How accurate is that at this point? It just walks you through.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you go to a real lawyer and go, how'd I do? You don't have to sit in a lawyer's office for hours and hours and hours because they charge by the hour. Power.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You can cut out a lot of it. Because if it's. Even if it's 50. Right. You just cut 50 of the bill. It walked me through a thing last year that when I went to the real lawyer, I was like, here's what I've been doing. And they're like, you did everything perfect. I'm like, chat GPT. And I'm like, all of it? And he's like, yeah, everything you did was right. He goes, here's what I would do here next. And I'm like, perfect little human element at the end. But it's crazy. You get into, like, legal stuff, and it's really easy, easy. That's the basic beginnings. And again, keep in mind, it didn't exist for us three, two and a half years ago, and it wasn't even like a thought. Alexa was the closest thing we had, and she could just tell us when her next dentist appointment was. This is nuts. So now that songs are that way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we've been loving on the. The jokey, you know, turn it into a soul song for a while. Never thought it would be like, now give us an original original, like from one of our favorites. And it's better than anything they've ever put out. Oh, that's scary.

[D]

The movie thing will be interesting because then will people still pay the same amount? It'll cut down a lot of revenue. Don't you think, in a way, or is it just going to be volume?

[B]

I don't think anybody knows. Yeah, I think it's just gonna. We're just gonna ride this wave and then see where it crests and we'll be on it. Because if the movies are great, if, like right now, my friend who was a movie reviewer, viewer, I used to ask him all the time, he'd see like eight or nine movies a week, and I'd be like, how many of them a year? Give me a percentage. How many of are are great? 5. That is a great year.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

And I'm like, so for every 100 movies you watch, five are good. He goes, no, five are really good. I said, how many are just good? And he goes, maybe the lower 2, 3% more. 10 will keep me interested. 90 are bad. Now imagine if that even flipped to 50. 50. And movies were almost always good.

[D]

We're not leaving the house.

[B]

No. Wally.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Got a little screen in front of you. You've already been shown what it's going to look like. Got a screen in front of you staring at it. It entertains you constantly. You don't need actors. Everybody's in all. And we just get plugged into the farm. It's crazy.

[D]

Just like that. You know we're talking about the headphones that I think was Japanese company that gives you goosebumps of the music stuff to keep you in there.

[B]

Yeah. Keep raising that part.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Next thing you know goosebumps are going to turn into orgasms because porn's right behind you here. I'm getting my red face. I'm starting to gain a little weight. Where are the men in this country?

[D]

Where are the men in this world?

[B]

What the hell have we become? Yeah. I'm Alex Jones and you know what we do. This is what people did when they wrote the Bible. I don't understand anything. So I'm going to create something called the God of the gaps. And what I don't understand, I'll just place God there. We're going to do that with AI. I don't get it. AI's got it. Leave it to him. Again. I forget which philosopher it was, but if you just throw out one, I'll go with with it. Who said in our never ending quest to understand where we came from, we will create our creator? And it feels like that's kind of what's going on. That sounds again. Here I go. Look at how red I've gone. I've gone nuts. I've gone nuts. I'm Alex Jones Jr. Now we just offer our children up to the system.

[D]

With the fluoride and the water and.

[B]

The geopolitical O hurting them. And we let fat perverts grab him.

[D]

At the airport to train them for the pedophile government.

[B]

Tell you the whole time, Brett, why don't you listen? This Maryland Manson thinks got me confused. So I'm all in on it. But yikes. Let's get to it. It's time for the Brady Report. He doesn't like these conversations. Good news is you're the oldest one.

[D]

I want to rebuild Building seven.

[B]

Be easy. You know what? That's simple. Building seven and AI together. Forget it. I'm gonna Party with that cowboy. It's time for the Bray Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] yeah, you're gonna want some shade. Don't get any sunlight on any of this stuff. Let's just stand in the shade and just enjoy our days while they're here. And sit and listen to fake music and watch fake TV shows on our big fake houses and our fake TVs with real shade. That's what we'll do. The sun. We can't fake the sun, can we? Probably. And we actually can. We got sunbed stuff. All pro. Shade will get you out there. You get that back patio up to snuff to where you're not sitting in the middle of a glary nightmare. You've got added space. Your outdoor space will become part of your home and that is attractive to buyers if you sell and just adds property value. AllProchade.com that's where you go. Brady reports.

[D]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[B]

Hello world. Hi.

[D]

Happy National Shower with a Friend Day and National Fart Day.

[B]

Not at the same.

[D]

Don't get it confused with National Past Gas Day. That was in January.

[B]

I don't remember you celebrating.

[A]

God, you clarified that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. National Fart Day.

[D]

To celebrate farts or funny.

[B]

Not all of them.

[D]

Got a couple of bases.

[B]

You can't lead with it if a fart. The only thing, only time farts are funny are when they're unexpected. If you come in and fart on me, it's not funny. Nobody's laughing but you. And then you're gonna be bleeding. It's not good.

[D]

20Th century French stud Charles de Gaulle was nicknamed the Great Asparagus because he was 6 foot 5, had a really high forehead and a nose. James Smith, he's the man who donated the money to the US to start the Smithsonian, was British and he never visited America. And no one knows exactly why he decided to give his US the his fortune basically to start the Smithsonian.

[B]

Oh, no one knows why he lived.

[D]

In England the whole time, never went to the United States. Said I'm leaving it when he died. Left his entire fortune to the U.S. no kidding. French's American mustard was owned by a British company for 90 years until 2017 when McCormick and Company acquired it and brought it back to America. Was it where it was originally invented in 1904?

[B]

Yeah. These are some head scratching real things Brady's throwing at us today.

[D]

East coast and west coast butter are different.

[B]

Well, that's the rap battle. They're big on the Biggie Smalls versus Tupac.

[D]

On the knives, west coast butter sticks are shorter and thicker. And all goes back to the butter presses. Different dairies used in the mid-1900s.

[A]

And it's still the same today.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

You can get both, though. You can get the elongated butter stick, but does that mean it's from one coast? That must be an east coast butter stick.

[B]

All right.

[D]

We got a former employee of a Little Caesar. This happened in Kingston, North Carolina. He broke in after the restaurant closed. Jonathan Hackett is his name. Opened the place back up, started selling pies, pocketed all the money. No word on how many pieces he sold.

[B]

He just went in and went to work. Yeah. And nobody there noticed? No.

[D]

They closed it.

[B]

It's the Chris Valenzuela.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, wait.

[B]

The whole place was shut down, but he had all the dough, and so he went. Ingredients.

[D]

Yeah. After it closed.

[B]

Closed.

[D]

Open it back is closed.

[B]

Oh, I thought you meant it was, like, shut down. How do you do this? Oh, I gotcha. Okay. So everything was already in there.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And no one noticed that the Little Caesars was open at midnight for the first time ever.

[D]

So he got the word out. Well, that's.

[B]

Open up.

[E]

You want a pie?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

That's how you. How do you get the word out?

[B]

This dude's a genius. Okay, I guess that's true. Facebook it out there. But I. When I worked at Tony roma's in the 90s, you couldn't crack that door without an alarm going crazy. The owners show up.

[D]

He's got the code.

[B]

Probably has. He worked there.

[D]

Former employee.

[B]

Former.

[A]

But.

[B]

Oh, they didn't change the codes.

[D]

It's like us going back to the.

[B]

Old building, and they never changed those codes. We could have been shot.

[A]

Did you go in there?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Walked right in. Yeah. It was like a year or two after we'd moved out of the old building. 80809. It was worn off to the. Everybody's thumbs had done it. I walked right in. The back door was already open, so I didn't need the second code. And I walked right in the building, like, how you doing, guys? Looking at me like, huh? I didn't realize it was a house now. Guy just had nothing but computers everywhere. And I walked around for a little. He's done a lot of work upstairs. Had, like, a little kitchen he built and bedroom where Chuck's office was. Yeah. Wow. And I went back downstairs, and I waved to him as I walked out, and he just watched me. Didn't do a thing. I walked into My car and I called Larry. I took a couple videos of me getting in there. And yeah, they don't change the coach and go in, but I didn't make pizzas or start doing a radio show. That would have been crazy.

[D]

Is it a successful night for him? He got caught because he went back in on Sunday to try to open it back up a second time. One of the employees happened to be there, had to see him get in. They got into a fight. They tried to stop him from breaking in, but it.

[B]

I'm dying.

[D]

His injuries were bad enough that the cops took him to the hospital, to jail. Well, he got his ass beat. Yeah. He's facing three felony charges. Breaking the entry, larceny, and obtaining property by false pretenses. There was a curfew in the effect. In effect in that area because they got over a foot of snow that weekend. Jonathan Hackett described the perp. Oh, got a workshop. He's a total 41 years old.

[B]

41. 41. Where was it?

[D]

In Kinston, North Carolina.

[B]

Bullet point headline. Give it to me. I get 41. Kinston, North Carolina.

[D]

Ex employee broke into Little Caesars and.

[B]

Started making pieces trying to figure out the Little Caesars. Twice. He did it twice. That's a weedy. That's a white.

[A]

I'm going Southern Jeff Spicoli.

[B]

I'm going a little Kenny Powers look to this guy.

[D]

I'm going. He just missed out on being on the latest season of Moonshiners.

[B]

All right, so we all think redneck.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Whitey.

[B]

Okay. Brady. Black guy. I would have never guessed. Ah. You know what the dead giveaway is? He was working in the middle of the night.

[A]

We thought a shift started.

[B]

Man. Back to work for nothing. Just. Just effing the man. Oh, for crying out loud. We all blew that one. I thought for sure that that has weedy white guy written all over it. Oh, my goodness. Oh, that's a. A terrible. We got fooled by the slider, boys. That was a Vince. Whoa. That was a terrible swing. He didn't expect that pitch at all. Made him look foolish as a Greg Maddox. Standing up there putting one by you. Just standing with a bat on his shoulder. No idea what was coming. Get ready for baseball season.

[D]

There's a new project happening in Sussex, England. They're converting a public restroom to a Mexican restaurant. El Chingaro and Casa Mexico have. Are doing a collaboration, and they're converting this building in England that used to.

[B]

Be a public bathroom.

[D]

Yeah. You go in there multiple like a station, and a lot of people made a Comment? We're not surprised.

[B]

It's a picture of a bathroom.

[A]

Speaking of National Fart Day.

[B]

Yeah, there it is. Is. There's your National Fart Day story.

[D]

This happened at Olive Garden in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Got an employee that attempted suicide and it was successful.

[B]

So it wasn't an attempt, it was an actual suicide.

[D]

Yeah, successful suicide.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

Dove headfirst into the Friars. Started with an attempt.

[B]

Yeah. The attempt is the dive. The suicide is the friar in one of big vats. Morning sickness. Holg's morning sickness.

[D]

Well, it was.

[B]

Or like not the one enough.

[D]

So where he could get to Head and Shoulders.

[B]

He just French fried his face basically. And he stayed in it long enough evidently, because he.

[D]

For a little bit they got him to the hospital and then he died.

[B]

Because injuries we're not talking about like a McDonald's for fryer.

[D]

It's got to be like an industrial. Yeah, that's probably four baskets or so.

[B]

Well, you know that's. That's a McDonald's.

[D]

Yeah, I know. But you. You take them out, you got a whole lot.

[B]

So he just bent over and put his face in a fryer until his head was dead.

[D]

Well, he was alive when they got well.

[B]

Yeah. Because I'm sure that his body said.

[D]

No and then it went into shock and done.

[B]

When you worked at the restaurant, did you ever get any of that fire grease on your hand pants coming out of the fryer?

[E]

No.

[B]

You never got dirty back there? Did you ever deep fry? I'm sure you were back.

[D]

Oh no. You got little burns on the.

[B]

But did you ever go in and work the fryer for a night?

[D]

Yeah, not for the night, but I put stuff I knew working it is trying to avoid.

[B]

When you work with a fryer, eventually you're gonna get hit. Not only gonna get hit, they become gloves on their own.

[D]

Yeah, well, that's what they said. Who was it? Was the. Was it not Joe Coy but someone was talking about where you get the hands where the. In the Philippines.

[B]

Oh yeah. They just put them in the alley.

[D]

Slide their hands in the oil.

[B]

You can eventually like these. These trolls in the kitchens could touch it, but not with their faces. Yeah, I can't imagine that's the worst. Burning alive fire ants and getting chopped in half. Used to be my 3 least now VAT of French fry oil to the neck up self induced. Come on now.

[D]

Got a bunch of honey that just got recalled after the FDA found an ingredient meant for treating Ed. It's made by a company in Virginia Coal A carco. And they claim it's specially formulated honey that gives you more energy. We talked about this gas station honey. Exactly the pretty much. I think the same thing. The FDA tested samples found it had tadalafil in it, the active ingredient in cialis. Some side effects include dizziness, headaches, blood pressure spikes, boners. Yep. You probably wouldn't confuse it with a normal jar of honey because it looks like like a medicine bottle but just says it says energy support on it. If you have photo but they've recalled a lot of it. Expiration date on It's October of 2028.

[B]

And finally you're paying attention to that.

[D]

Honey doesn't expire.

[B]

I didn't think you knew.

[D]

Well, that's what I said. I said exactly what Toledo said. I didn't know honey expired.

[B]

Well, you didn't know your sauce expired. Vincent said, I'm gonna go back and listen. Did you hear Brady's heavy breath when you said deep fried face French fried man. It's the boy aquarium fried barbacoa. French fried man. Yeah.

[D]

A bottle of booze was discovered in Utah and it's 150 years old. Dates back to the 1870s or 80s.

[B]

They said boss sauce on it.

[D]

The u. S. Forest service land. They found it by a ski resort. Actual archaeological team exhumed it and one of them said it was full, still had a cork in it.

[A]

They needed the archaeological team to tell them.

[B]

I like that the quote started with one of the guy said it just made the quote funnier.

[D]

So they brought it to us.

[B]

Like they didn't do that in the story when they wrote it. He said. Did he say that? Well, yeah, no, I'm doing work for work.

[D]

Quoting it.

[B]

I'm quoting it exactly. You got to do it that way.

[D]

They got high west, Utah's oldest legal distillery to analyze the bottle's contents and someone there tasted it.

[B]

How'd it go?

[D]

Guy said it had a little bit of he. It didn't smell like gasoline, didn't smell like tobacco spit. He said the flavor was fruity. There's a little bit of leather. There's quite a bit of age on it. Whatever that meant.

[A]

Yeah, it's 150 years old.

[B]

Yeah, the age is. Come on. It came with this.

[D]

But how do you taste age, I.

[B]

Guess she oh, you taste age. Steak that's been sitting out for a week. You're going to taste that age.

[D]

The experts said it appears to be a low alcohol beer. They're hoping to recreate the beverage using the yeast. And congratulations to Brian Fowler. He broke the Guinness World record title for most NFL games attended in a single season. 56. As well as the record for the fastest time to visit all NFL stadiums. Didn't. 72 days, 20 hours and 56 minute minutes. And he gets what for this world record?

[B]

Just attention? Yeah, it's what everybody craves.

[D]

It's currency. If you're clicks retired and he got.

[B]

A decent amount of dough, that sounds like a nice little fun jaunt.

[D]

Yeah, the guy filmed it every game.

[B]

There you go. You can't redistribute that. We'll get sued. The whole thing will backfire on him. But.

[D]

A couple of radio videos.

[B]

Okay, you're very tender today. There's something wrong. You're right. First one starts to turn into him, isn't he?

[D]

Yeah, it's the Winnie the Pooh.

[B]

People say nothing is impossible, but I knew nothing all day. First one, Brady the Pooh is gonna. We have to change it when the podcast really gets rolling. Brady the Pooh.

[D]

It's his report.

[B]

He's so tender. Gilbert is now known as the Thousand Acre Woods.

[D]

The Tender Report.

[B]

Hello, friends. I'm a bear of small mind. All right, go ahead.

[D]

Here we go. It looks like a.

[B]

Okay, I don't know what this is. There's a guy holding another dude upside down. Am I getting.

[D]

Yeah, that's part of it.

[B]

The guy's got a guy in the suplex. Oh, he's got a side. Throws him down. The other guy picks him up by the legs. Oh, they're dancing and fighting. Then he does a little shuffle, a little shoe shine there, and then drop the guy like a bad habit with a right hook.

[D]

Looks like a Sugar Ray.

[B]

Yeah, it was. It was an ugly version. Yeah, it was a really bad version. What Ali used to do with the. The foot shuffle. Kick, kick, kick. Right.

[D]

But it was a distraction.

[B]

Yeah, it worked just enough that the other guy stood and stared at it. I was like, what the. Why are you dancing? He turned into the sandman for a second, then he Apolloed his ass. All right. Oh, no.

[D]

A cripple step into the local. Local dentist office in this town, wherever they live. It's inescapable.

[B]

This is terrible. This is in a very, very poor nation. A guy is sitting on a kindergartner's chair outside with his mouth open. And another guy in a Hawaiian shirt.

[D]

It's a Dennis chair, John.

[B]

Is it? It is now, I guess. He's got string. He's holding string, and he's got a string tied To a elderly black man's tooth. And he's like, he's gonna pull this right out, isn't? He's got one tooth left on each side of his mouth. That's it. Oh, the sound. Oh, the noise.

[D]

Look at that root gnaw.

[B]

This dude's not used to that. He's got one tooth.

[D]

Tooth.

[B]

Oh, pull it again. Here, listen for the noise. When the tooth comes out, you can't miss it. Oh, man.

[D]

No, thank you.

[B]

This white dude flew all the way over there just to pull the tooth out of that guy. And he's still not punching him.

[D]

White. He ain't white.

[B]

That dude is. Isn't he? The dentist isn't white.

[D]

Nope.

[B]

He's just whiter than the guy in the chair knees. I don't know what that means, Richard.

[D]

He's got dirty nash by the equator.

[B]

He's tan. Look, everybody, there's no showers. His knees get dirty. That dude's not. He's white. No. No self respecting man in Africa is wearing that outfit. And I know that's saying something like.

[A]

From a Jimmy Buffett.

[B]

That dude is a Christian missionary.

[D]

Nope.

[B]

Look at the hands. I'm looking at his hands.

[C]

Look at his face right there.

[B]

All right, there it is. All right. Yeah.

[D]

I can't.

[B]

He's just a lot lighter than the guy who's pulling the tooth. Well, at least it isn't racism. At least it was black on black dentistry. Black on black dentistry. Because that is not how you're supposed to do that. Man. Oh, man. All right, that hurts. Tooth pulling is not good. All right, all right.

[A]

Crandall's feed must have been over into Brady's for a minute.

[B]

Oh, no, no. This is a giant headed crippled. That's Ken young on a body of like a 9 year old. Her head is the size of a 35. No, it's not.

[C]

It's.

[D]

I'm hoping it is. Yeah.

[A]

And we just. We just had the. The fight before. Well, here's another fight.

[B]

A couple of dudes.

[D]

Oh, in the hood.

[B]

This is gonna be worse. Guy in a wheelchair's got no legs and he. And he takes a swing and a guy standing in front of him. Oh. And it's a full fight. He's the Kimbo slice of cripples. He's just throwing bombs in the front yard on a guy.

[A]

I don't know if it's clean, so.

[B]

Just keep it down. All right. And now Don Cheadle gets back up to hit the guy in the wheelchair. But wheelchair Kimbo slice, ducks it don't know how. Throws a punch. He's. Somehow or another, he's still standing. And he can't stand up.

[D]

He's got one leg.

[B]

Dude has one leg and he beat up a man. Wow. So beaten up, he can't even. Now he can't walk. I've never seen a man win in a wheelchair before. I did witness once a midget with one arm beat my friend Kevin at a game of pool. And that was up until that video. The most amazing crippled thing I'd ever seen one arm try to play pool was one arm now with a midget's hand. And he had little steps. Dudley to run around with. And he beat Kevin Manion at a game of pool in a way no one could ever explain. A hundred dollars. Fetish time.

[D]

Oh, foot file.

[B]

I got a guy in a. In a mask, and he's licking a woman's foot while she does the foot file over the balls of her feet. Now, good news is her feet are pretty clean. She's flaking a little, but it's not terrible. Could be worth worse. And this guy's really enjoying it. She's in a onesie.

[D]

She's. She might be packing.

[B]

No, she's just got a thick one. This dude's mouth is wide open while this lady pumices off the bottom of her toes and the balls of her feet into his mouth. He's liking that too much. What the hell is going on in the hell.

[A]

Here's a nice save of a dog.

[B]

All right, good dog's leash.

[A]

Got caught in the elevator.

[B]

Got caught in the. Oh, yeah, I've seen this.

[A]

Where?

[B]

This is crazy. Little. Little Pekingese. His leash is in there and hangs him. And the dude grabs and realizes, oh, we're about to lose. We got to get this leash off. And down goes the elevator. And the dog. He's got to break that leash or the dog's neck's gonna break. Hurry, dog. Don't fight back. Hurry, Harry. Oh, he's pulling on that thing. He saves the dog. The leash is free. He did it. Little Pekingese makes it. Oh, that's gold. That made me happy.

[A]

See, I got some good stuff in here, too.

[B]

That was nice. That was uplifting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

See if you can find Savannah Guthrie's mom in the next video.

[A]

I don't think this is.

[B]

Oh, God. There's a naked man with a mask on in the middle of a town square.

[D]

Performance signs.

[B]

And a lady's got a big old pair of boots on. She's going to kick him square in the ding ding. Oh, right in the ding ding. In front of a bunch of. A bunch of people. Saw this. The second kick, square to the ball. She is accurate. That's like a nice place.

[C]

That's like man's chain.

[B]

Oh, now he's kissing her feet.

[D]

Yeah, there's probably Amsterdam.

[B]

There's gigantic curtains and like.

[D]

Like. Is that bunting?

[B]

Like the Met gala, for God's sake.

[A]

This one's kind of scary.

[B]

All right. We're in an elevator again.

[A]

Almost 20 stories.

[B]

Oh, my God. Dude's in the elevator. He's shutting the door. He's got his groceries. And it starts to go a little faster than expected. Hits the button, and down we go. It's going real fast. Doors are open for no reason, too. And it's just. Oh, he's trying to hit every button to stop this. It looks like it's going up. Is it? Yeah, it is. Oh, it was flying up, and then it crashed. So it went all the way to the top floor. Oh, my goodness.

[A]

And then we'll just. For Brady's day today, isn't it.

[B]

Hold on. Isn't it shocking how much we trust elevator elevators? Isn't it just amazing?

[A]

Well, it's all about convenience again.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Why am I going to climb the stairs?

[B]

We don't ever think of going 550ft.

[D]

About every time I ride them, do you? A little bit.

[B]

That must be a weight thing. I don't.

[D]

I had a. A girl that I knew in college. She was in San Francisco, and it was. It was two stories. Stories. And she. Both her legs snapped. Compound fractures.

[B]

Because the elevator dropped. Dropped. We trust.

[D]

And I think about that every time.

[B]

Because you go to that. You get excited when you get, like, to the Aria in Vegas. You're like, oh, I'm the 54th floor. Yeah. Which is technically the 44th, because they don't have the 40s. Right. But 44 floors is 450ft. And you just climb in a little box that you trust has the pulleys, and everybody's been keeping an eye on it, and you just hover. We don't. Because we can't see out of them. I don't think we think about. It's just like a little room that keeps us safe, and they're very safe. But I get Brady thinks about it a lot.

[D]

Yeah. That's why I jump up every time it stops.

[B]

I like the ones who get in that feel like they're the wrong elevator for the shaft. Like, you get in and it starts wobbling around. You're like, oh, I can. I can surf this for a second.

[D]

The stop and to floor. Whatever.

[B]

Like it. We trust him too much. All right, what do you got?

[A]

This one came through today. It's for Brady's big day today.

[B]

All right. It's one relatively attractive woman with her face buried into the leopard skin pants of a fat woman while she just blasts ass into her face. Broke wind in here. That's right. That's right. All right, get the Eddie Murphy raw at the end. Let's take another look at the fart day, ladies. Her face is. I don't know if that's on the butt hole with one of those sound effects mics that an. Somebody broke wind. Either way, she's got her nose too close to that lady's butt.

[A]

Absolutely. So there we go.

[B]

All right. There you go.

[D]

She could die, couldn't she? Take that methane in.

[B]

I don't think so.

[D]

What, you think that's murder? Yeah, man.

[B]

What are you referencing? What? What? What? What have you heard? Do you think that's real? You can die from that?

[D]

Oh, I think you. No, I don't think you can die from that.

[B]

All right. You've almost said you almost dug in on that.

[D]

You were gonna go down methane, a lot of methane.

[B]

Yeah, but you were about to start telling a story. Just.

[D]

I had a buddy die. No, that's not part of your type 5.

[B]

No, that isn't it. Don't do that. Don't make up. Your tight fives made up are terrible. No. All right, It's. You don't need to worry about. Josh Wolf is going to join us a little bit. Is he here yet?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

All right. Josh is great. We'll bring Josh Wolf in next. It's 98 Kup, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] I'm already. I'm already mad at the guest. We're on live. Careful with the mouth.

[A]

Or.

[B]

We're all good. But Josh.

[D]

Yeah, the sun's cussing already.

[B]

Yeah, the sun's throwing bombs. I mean, who raised this kid? Josh Wolf is here with his son Jacob. They do their podcast together, and they're performing together at Desert Ridge Improv tonight. And of course, over the weekend, Friday and Saturday at the 10pm improv. And we've known Josh forever. We're meeting Jacob, I think, for the first. You haven't been here before, Jacob.

[E]

No, I haven't.

[B]

Okay. I thought for sure.

[D]

I think we just watched Videos.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Of the boy. I don't remember that. I'm not gonna say hey, all right.

[C]

It was here. Not at your house.

[D]

Well, those are separate.

[B]

It was in the car.

[D]

By the way, for keeping the material coming.

[C]

I can't wait till I to tell Ben how much you loved his book.

[B]

That you left it in the studio.

[D]

It's so funny.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We have the Cash Cab trivia book we keep handy in the studio. And occasionally for light reading, we reference the quotes he's very similar to, like Marcus Aurelius. You go back into Ben Bailey's Cash Cab quote.

[E]

I love that show.

[B]

Oh, it's the best. The Marcus Aurelius Cash Cab would have been really funny. Just philosophize the whole thing.

[D]

He helps us break tiebreakers when we have a. A bet or a wager.

[B]

Yeah. We go to cash. Pretty good idea.

[E]

I love it. That's a great idea.

[B]

Everyone should always have a tiebreaker book nearby. If you have a disagreement, you just go to trivia. Whoever gets it right, got the argument right. Oh, I love that. Yeah.

[C]

I also love the Marcus Aurelius reference that four people listen.

[B]

Nobody's going to. People like Marcus.

[C]

Does he play for the Seahawks?

[B]

He's pretty. He's a new. Yeah.

[D]

They drafted rounder on his.

[B]

And he's got a senior next to his name. Never understood that. Like, you put a senior. Yeah.

[C]

All you need is the junior.

[B]

The junior's the only one you need.

[C]

The OG doesn't need a sr. You.

[B]

Don'T need an sr. That's like just extra letters just to piss the team off.

[E]

Well, because if you have a junior, you obviously. If you have a junior, you are a senior.

[B]

Correct.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I want you to know that I was pushing for you to be Josh Junior.

[B]

Is that true?

[E]

At 18, I would have changed my name immediately.

[B]

Really?

[C]

I was pushing for it and it got shot down.

[B]

Well, I bet it did. Yeah. Right.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

But why?

[B]

Why? Josh is such a fine name.

[E]

Yeah. Junior isn't.

[B]

Yeah. But that's up to you to correct. But then you got to spend your whole life correcting your wolf. Junior Wolf. I like that. Junior Wolf.

[E]

I already get called Wolf Junior the wolf cub.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[E]

Young wolf. I don't know all the things that are. That I get all those nicknames.

[C]

Do you get called wolf cub?

[B]

Well, that's because your dad is human trafficking you through the entertainment industry. Correct.

[E]

Nepotism on the front, trafficking under.

[B]

Under the table. You're an entertain him at mullet. It's perfect. It's great. I had to get him here in.

[C]

The back of a U Haul, everybody.

[B]

So it was sewn into the seats of your viewer.

[E]

I have full blown Stockholm syndrome, though, so I'm in for it.

[B]

Well, and so Josh was. Josh was the name that mom said. No, there's only one of those. We're not doing that again.

[C]

Biomom had a good point.

[B]

She was like, Bio mom is my favorite band. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

I'm picturing.

[B]

That is so funny. Love Bio. I love, love that. Yeah. All right, go ahead. I'm sorry. I just pictured. That one's a little chubby, but he's working on it.

[C]

Bio mom, they pull up in their Chrysler Pacifica.

[B]

They're touring van. Yeah.

[C]

They got the automatic doors.

[D]

Look, it was a long night.

[B]

I got distracted by Biom. I rector. Funny, but Bio mom said absolutely no double Josh.

[C]

She just was like, you know, you're. You want to be in the entertainment business.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

This. If this feels like a hard. Hard enough rock for him to climb.

[B]

Out from under Bronnie.

[D]

Yeah, good point.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

By the way, we're the original Bron and Bronnie.

[B]

We're the first guys to play NBA together. Yes. Okay, sure.

[C]

NBA 2K.

[B]

Oh, shit. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I wonder who the first father son NBA 2K game was. You have to go back in time to find out.

[C]

We were the original.

[B]

You guys, I'm going to go ahead and you make that claim. I'm going to run with it. It's now on a platform, a media, a podcast that is now going out to say you're the first father and son duo to play play 2k lives 100%. Well, congratulations. That is such a bonding moment.

[C]

Thank you.

[E]

Absolutely, absolutely appreciate it.

[B]

You know, speaking of names, my. My mom shut down my dad. Bio mom shut down my dad. Bio dad. For he wanted bio Uncle. He wanted bio. I like to go with that.

[D]

Bio.

[B]

Bio son. My dad wanted to name me after his father, a Swedish immigrant. Immigrant named Alvar Augustus Holmberg.

[C]

Oh, I wish.

[B]

And my. I know I would be dead. I would have. He would have changed his name at 18. I'd have been found in the garage going, just swinging from the top. No way I make it through life as Alvar Augustus.

[C]

Well, let me ask you.

[D]

Bio sister got the name.

[B]

Bio sister got Dana, which is named after my dad, Dan.

[C]

That is a bummer.

[B]

Rough Dan. I wanted a boy. You wanted a boy. Okay. He was the first Dan. And. And getting to know her through these many, many Years. I'm sure he still wishes she wasn't here. I know I do. But anyway, Dan, I could do without it. She's Canadian, but yeah, I mean, it's weird how your name can change your entire, like, path.

[C]

Would you have gone because is. Would you have gone with Alvar? Would you have gone with Augusta?

[D]

It would have been Al.

[B]

Al.

[C]

Would you have gone with aa?

[B]

I would have gone to aa.

[C]

You would have had to learn how to fight. Oh, man, you would have been the best Dungeons and Dragons player of all time, dude.

[E]

The best Dungeon Master ever.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[C]

You would have worn, like, a Thorn crown.

[B]

I would have had to, like, the br.

[C]

Brain.

[B]

The brain I have now could do it. Yeah. Child's brain couldn't. I would wander into every room dressed as the guy from the JG Wentworth commercials. I am Alvar Augustus Hoenberg. And they'd be like, this guy right here.

[C]

You know what have been great? If Dinner reservations, when they call out, you would have made them call out your full name.

[B]

All of it. Yeah. And I'd have stood up with my scepter because you can't not have it.

[D]

Imagine how hammered it would be on a Starbucks cup.

[B]

I mean, they would have hated.

[E]

Or, dude, if you customize your own sports jersey, it would have to start the bottom and just go like a rainbow all the way top.

[B]

Like. Yeah. That would be insane. I like the idea of having my name over it, like, raising canes. Alba Augustus Hol. Am I saying that right? That's a name tipping people in gold. I was going to say.

[E]

Was that a smoke detector?

[B]

Yeah, it's just a stereotype you love.

[E]

No, I. Trust me, I. I sit and play video games with my friends all day, and they're. We're all stream. So they all have Steam decks where you can put sound effects.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And half of them are all. All in.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So.

[E]

So I will play one on my computer and play a smoke detector and be like, hey, Evan, go check your smoke detector.

[B]

So good. It's the best.

[D]

So the. The stereotype behind it, what you point to me for?

[B]

Did you play it all the time? I didn't make him do it. What do you. He pointed to me like, oh, you guys are the first NBA 2K father, son, evidently. I invented the smoke detector. That's my work, my legacy. Alvar Augustus Holmberg's gift to the world.

[C]

I will never forget that name.

[B]

Yeah, it's a top. Well, my grandpa who had it had polio and, like, couldn't move his right arm. Hardly at all, but still strongest man I ever met. I'm like, well, that's the guy that needs to hold on to this.

[C]

But p s him in a him and a toga with his arm like this kind of tracks.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

[C]

You know, holding like a goblet.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Like early on he could have had a peach.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[E]

Like drinking out of a goblet. It does sound like a Game of Thrones name. He does sound like he's the king.

[B]

Of the north, one of the families. The white walkers are coming. Yeah, I love.

[C]

Enjoy my buffet. That's right.

[B]

You get a job at Caesar's Palace. Considering little Caesar over here, he's never worn pants in his life.

[C]

Look at this guy. This is the body type of a man who's never worn long pants.

[B]

No, he had. Yeah. He looks funny in him too.

[D]

Short sometimes are long pants.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Bermudas.

[B]

One buffet.

[E]

Like I was going to say, capris are for sure pants for you.

[B]

Yeah, that's what his shorts become.

[C]

You do look like a guy who. Who like, holds the bottom trail of Alvar Augustus's long.

[B]

He holds the key. Right. He's cherubic, but he's also. He's handy around the castle.

[C]

And then every one step of yours is like three of his with those little legs behind him.

[B]

Sir, it is taking so, so long to get somewhere. I'm sorry. May I have some water, please?

[E]

Bug bunny cartoon with his feet.

[B]

We must stop for provisions.

[C]

He's on the back of the.

[B]

I would also as Alvar Augustus Hberg, now that we've hired Brady to be my train holder, I would also hire a guy who. Who's to going, got like a little mandolin or something that would follow behind him with each step. You hear, oh, amazing. Like those little noises that his feet would make.

[C]

You have a job.

[B]

Yeah. Congratulations. You better learn how to do Brady's footsteps in foley work.

[E]

Honestly, I feel like mandolin's funny, but I feel like we'll throw it off into a tuba. Might be also.

[B]

Well, I mean, then we're getting into baby elephant walk now. It's just offensive. What is the name of your podcast you guys do together?

[C]

Well, we changed it. We were doing a show called hey man, and now we do something called on the road with Josh and Jacob and we do it live every weekend. Mostly because we're together too much.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Correct.

[E]

Correct.

[B]

Jacob, would you like to run with that? You want to talk to me?

[A]

Say.

[C]

I'll say things because we both live in Vegas. And I'll say things to him like.

[D]

Hey, you want to come over?

[C]

He's like, no, I see you a lot.

[E]

I'm like, dude, I'll see you tomorrow at 6am for our flight.

[B]

Get out of here. Miserable.

[C]

He won't sit next to me on the plane.

[B]

Well, no, he's got to. And that's another thing. When you do a show, it's hard. Like, everybody thinks that Brady and Brett and I are on the phone together all the time. You got to save it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So if you start having fun on the plane, it's like, ah, nuts. This is like all stuff we could be doing.

[C]

But also because he knows that I'll take pictures of him with his mouth open and Photoshop things going in and out of it.

[B]

Most dads do. That's a dad move.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

I started taking up, taking a page out of his book. And we. When we sit next to each other on early morning flights, I try to stay awake until he falls asleep first. And so I've started doing the same thing. Dude.

[B]

I fall asleep like this. Hold on.

[C]

I have these glasses on and I fall asleep like this.

[B]

With your mouth wide open.

[E]

I have a recent one. I'll show you guys a picture when we go to break, so.

[B]

And you're just getting dongs in that, like, 100%.

[E]

100%.

[B]

Yeah. But also. Yeah.

[E]

So I take a page out of his book. But also when we're in the hotel also, he doesn't. He does like to screw with me, so he doesn't let me get my own hotel room. Yeah. So he's gonna name the. He wants to rename the tour one room, two beds.

[B]

So there's. That begs the question.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're on the road.

[C]

We're both in relationship.

[B]

Yeah. Crying out loud. What are you. You, Josh. Sure. You've been at it for a long time. Yeah. You're coming up through the ranks and you're dragging, I mean, dragon squish along with you. Junior. Yeah. Get your own hotel room. Take advantage of the stage time. That's the thing.

[E]

I've been in a relationship for five years, man. So I'm.

[D]

We live in a.

[E]

Live in a house in Vegas.

[C]

I need someone to take care of.

[B]

Me when I'm on mushrooms. Oh, I've heard about this. Yes. Had him on the stage where you had to go away.

[C]

I, I. Oh, yeah.

[B]

You do a whole show still.

[C]

Three grams. Friday night, late show. I take three grams and I go on stage.

[B]

It's a, It's a Super dose. And then you go on stage and try to do your act or just see what happens. Happens. Both.

[E]

Both, definitely.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then Jacob's there.

[E]

I'm there for moral support and actual support if he also.

[B]

As power of attorney in case we need to go to the hospital. Like, somebody's got to be your mouth. You got to have a family member there. Yes, correct.

[C]

A couple weeks ago, I was higher than I've ever been in my life on stage, and I made him stand by the stage. I go, don't go anywhere. I might need you.

[B]

No kidding.

[C]

So he stood there, and every now and then I'd be like, come up here.

[B]

I'm feeling a little uneasy.

[C]

And he'd walk on stage and just stand up there with me. Oh, I. I was.

[B]

What's going on in your head? Head. Do you remember it? Is it like.

[C]

That was the first show, and I've been doing this a long time, so two weeks ago was the first show I've ever done that I don't remember.

[B]

A second of it because it just. Gotcha.

[D]

It got me.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I'll tell you one thing, though. Crushed.

[B]

He's killed it.

[E]

He crushed.

[B]

No kidding.

[E]

I went up there because he was like, I don't know how I've been doing it. And he kept saying, I have never been higher on stage. And I went out there at one point just to settle the nerves, and I went, hey, say whatever you want. But I turned to the crowd, I go, he's crushing. They just.

[B]

They.

[E]

They erupted. So. Yeah, man.

[B]

Like, is that a proud moment of your father like that? Because I. My dad was ever caked out of his brain, it would be like, oh, boy. It's a different mix.

[E]

It is a different mix because, I mean, I feel like I'm in a comfortable room.

[B]

We're one of the own.

[E]

We're degenerates. Being this guy together.

[B]

Well, he raised one. Well, yeah.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

Yeah, he's a functioning degenerate.

[D]

Welcome.

[B]

100%. We've known Josh for a long time. He hosted something called Shark Week once. Shark. After D. I worked that show. You did? Yeah. You're partially responsible for that nightmare I had to sit through a couple of times. You're welcome. And I liked. I liked Josh. I liked you. And then I. I. Because as a host of something, you realize sometimes when someone else is controlling the show for a little bit, and they made you do the Moonshiner interview, which I never let you forget, and then the pickle and all the people that came into that. And I felt bad because you were doing all that work to promote the other shows on this. On this horrible thing that was going on. And then that dude in the shark outfit, and I'm like, hey, that was me. What's. You. Only for one of them.

[E]

Only for one of the shark. Bob the Shark. Shout out. Bob Oak. Love him. But, yeah, There was one episode where it was him and me. And then there was a guy.

[B]

There's a.

[E]

A boy band called the Wanted. There was a guy from that band who came in and sang, like, a song. I was the original left shark before Katy Perry's Left Shark. I want everybody to know that she did steal it from me. I was the original left shark.

[B]

That always made me laugh because I watched a man go out there and go, I'm going to give it my all. I. And he did. And then the rest of the show, I'm like, I don't know why they keep throwing this at this poor man. He is killing it amongst this nightmare of suits and executives that are trying as hard as they can to make this bad.

[C]

Can I tell you what I love the most about that and what I love the most about this? I love live.

[B]

Oh, me too.

[C]

I love. And that was the first live talk show.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And so I love that. Walking on the tightrope. And there were times where I was allowed because it was live. Not allowed, but I could. Where they couldn't. They could say something to me in my ear.

[B]

Just ignore it.

[C]

But I was like, hey, the cameras are on.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So what are you going to do? Turn off the network?

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

And there was one we did an interview with.

[B]

Then you put your wiener in his mouth and, like, drew a picture in the thing. It's like, yeah, we're going to do a meter. I should have said the one that you had handy is what I was saying.

[E]

Which also could be his, by the way, which is strange. You should probably just stop while you're ahead.

[B]

I don't know that I was ever ahead in that one. Alvar Augustus ever stops.

[C]

He's full speed ahead.

[B]

Never tell Alvar to stop again.

[C]

There was my favorite moment from that show.

[E]

I know what it is.

[C]

I was interviewing Tara Reid in Ian's earring. They were doing what was the Sharknado. And Tara had. Tara had taken, I don't know what, pills, something and smoke and sipping wine. When I was backstage, kind of. Kind of briefing around what the show was.

[B]

Can you tell us?

[C]

I saw her taking the pill and drinking some wine. Taking the Pill and drinking some wine. And we get out on the. And this clip is online.

[E]

Yeah, it needs to go viral. You need to bring it back.

[C]

We get out on the show and we're talking about it, and she said, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. It's been so long since I saw it. But basically what happened was she said to me, you know, I did some research, and I didn't want to, you know, seem stupid when I came out here. And she was like, so. And I thought a whale shark was when a shark and a whale had sex.

[B]

All right, I'll get rid of that one.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And she goes, but it turns out one of them is an animal and one of them is a mammal.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And they don't.

[B]

And we were like, we'll be right back. Yeah.

[E]

The best part of the clip, which is, honestly, it's so iconic because the more she starts talking, the camera cuts between her and then him. So it's her doing that, and then it's my dad doing this.

[B]

His mouth is wide open, just panting.

[C]

To go down this. And starts talking about, oh, you got it.

[B]

I start, oh, my God, whale sharks. I'm like, oh, that must mean a whale and a shark have sex. And I think, well, how do. How does a whale and a shark have sex? And I looked.

[C]

Was there a video of it?

[B]

No, because there's a thing called whale sharks. So I thought they must, you know, and then whales were mammals, and sharks are animals. They have nothing to do with each other.

[C]

Did you ever see a tiger shark.

[B]

So basically have sex with each other, but the sharks don't? So I thought, then how is it such a thing? But the difference is, there's a whale shark. He's the biggest shark in the ocean. But my career's over. No.

[C]

In my ear, as she keeps talking. The director's going, go to break.

[B]

Go to break, go to break. And I look.

[C]

I'm looking right at the camera. I'm looking right at the camera. And I. Basically, my look at the camera was, no way am I going to break.

[D]

This is the moment.

[B]

Holberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[D]

She and Ian is in it as well. Like, she goes, dude, I.

[C]

And I asked him afterwards. He was like, I've been doing this press tour. He was like, this is. I just sit back and kind of let it. After the show, my friend Paul de Gelder, who lost his hand, his arm, and his leg to a shark attack.

[E]

Bull shark. He's like an Australian Navy seal.

[C]

And we watched the video of him getting eaten, he's. Because it was a training. So the Australians were videoing it to make sure that they could do whatever training. So you see him get pulled under.

[D]

Wasn't it, like, in a pier area, like off the.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. No, it was a little bit in the.

[D]

In, out.

[B]

A little bit.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so you see him. Him get pulled under, come back up. He. He said he tried to swim back to the boat, but when he went like this, he didn't have an arm. And so. But after the show, she says to him, because he was wearing. He had his. He has prosthetics, and he had his. He had glove on. And she goes, why you wear a glove?

[B]

After he told the story, he was right there on the couch.

[C]

He was like, oh, I got bit by a shark. And she goes, why'd you do that?

[B]

And he was like, oh, my gosh.

[C]

That wasn't the goal to get Josh.

[B]

We had Ian and Tara on this show. And my simple question, because it had just happened to her, I'm like, how do you walk through any sort of red carpet and not know your breast is not in your clothes anymore? How do you not know? And Ian breaks in. And then she did this, and I. And I immediately ended the interview. You're gonna listen to this. This is a classic quote from this show. Let's talk about Sharknado. Let's not. And then I just hung out. I'm like, if you're not gonna. If you're not gonna tell me what. Nobody cares about Sharknado as much as. Remember a week ago when you didn't know your boob was out? Do you not feel wind or air on the nipples like every other part?

[C]

If I had one nut out, oh, I would be like, that feels different.

[B]

If I had a nut out of my underworld and I still had pants on, I'd be like, oh, we got one. Creeping out of the first part.

[C]

I'm at an age now where they might.

[B]

They might.

[C]

Honestly, dude, sometimes they split like Yosemite Sam.

[B]

Oh, my. Are you in the water? Are you. Oh, my God. How old are you? 56, 53? Are you in the water yet? Am I what? Are you in the water yet? No, no, I've been in there for about 10 years. No, I just have to do this weird tail hook thing and get it up on my thigh.

[D]

Can I tell you something crazy?

[C]

My grandfather said once, okay, I was eight. He sat down in the front seat, right? And I was in the back seat. And he go. He sits down he goes, whoop.

[B]

And I go, oh, what's happening? Sat him a ball.

[C]

And he goes, oh, I just sat on my nuts, and I was eight in my. You know, I don't have any pebbles. I was like, what? And he goes, no, it's gonna happen to you someday.

[B]

And I go, no.

[C]

And he goes, wait till you get older and you have to hold him in your hand so you don't poop on him.

[B]

Our grandfathers. Our grandfathers are cut from the same cloth. I went to the bathroom at his house. House, and there was this gigantic cushion on the thing. I'm like, what's with the cushion on the thing? He goes, I have to use that or my ball to get in the water. And I'm. We were watching a White Sox game, and I'm looking at the tv, and my. My stomach's like, oh, because you mentally just go to Grandpa balls.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's deep. And then he's staring at me, and I can feel him, and he goes, that's your future.

[E]

Oh, no.

[B]

Like, you cursed me with it. And then in my 40s, I'm in the wall.

[C]

40S? Yeah.

[B]

I got a long. But it's not big ball balls. That's the worst part. It's like a giant. Like a. Like a Safeway bag with, like, just a.

[C]

Two grapes.

[B]

They gave me two big.

[E]

It's like the. It's like the fake pair from Jackass when Johnny Knoxville.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know in the Safeway, when you only get, like, gum and they give you the whole bag? Yeah.

[E]

It's just like two avocados at the.

[B]

Bottom of a. I wish it was avocado. The pits, for God's sake.

[C]

It's just.

[B]

And I remember hitting the water. I'm like, what the. And. And I pinky swung it up, and my boys were down there, and I'm like, these things are getting out of control, and it's not getting any better.

[C]

The first time they dropped, was the water already muddied?

[B]

Well, I have actually had twisted them on a log. I'm just doing a little hand thing so they don't drown sometimes. And I have gone a little Mark Twain down the river a couple of times. Let her ride. There are times that I'll be going. So the right hand will represent the feces, the left hand will represent the scrotum, and as it clips, it falls forward and rubs.

[C]

Can you do me a favor?

[B]

Show you that?

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

No, thanks.

[C]

Can you do me a favor just so I know? Drop them in the Water.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And flush and see how much of a pull.

[B]

Yeah, I just curious.

[D]

There's no way you do that in an airplane. No.

[B]

Do it. Oh, no, no, no, no.

[C]

Two poops on the airplane.

[D]

He sits when he pees.

[B]

I sit when I pee. But not in the airplane.

[C]

Start deflecting.

[B]

You know. Thank you, Josh.

[E]

Poop on an airplane. I got you. I I. Dude. A dude's got to do what a.

[B]

Dude'S got to do. I'm with you. I'm with you untrading degenerates. And you poop on. On airplanes. You don't poop on air.

[C]

On the airplane.

[E]

I'm sober, living trained.

[B]

I look very good degenerate.

[E]

Thank you very much.

[D]

First of all, when you ever pooped on a plane. Okay.

[C]

I was going to ask you if your feet touch the ground.

[B]

I would put. That is not what I was expecting. Can you sit on the. I do. You made me picture it.

[D]

Damn it.

[C]

When you swing your legs.

[D]

No one can swing their legs in there.

[E]

It's too small.

[B]

You bring your pot of honey. And also.

[E]

We'Ve recently.

[B]

But you're right.

[D]

Not a fan of a high toilet seat.

[B]

No. Yeah, but that sounds freeing to have your legs swinging free. There's a poo. We've been recently discovering how similar of these two are.

[E]

Hilarious.

[C]

That is crazy.

[B]

Brady the Pooh is happening right in front of us.

[C]

Why doesn't he have a belly button though?

[B]

Do bears normally have a belly button? I don't think there's umbilical cords on bears. Honestly, that's a great not to scientifically destroy the laugh.

[C]

Are we dissecting jokes?

[B]

I mean, fact check. Yeah, that was very. I mean, honestly. I call that point. I've never even thought about that. AI says I call that dickopedia. Yeah, actually. But I do like. But you asked the question and my brain knew the answer. That's actually a good point.

[E]

I've never actually thought about that.

[B]

As to why the bare umbilical. Yeah, he talks and he has a T shirt. We're past that now we're getting into whether night he's coming. That's a good point. Also another one. Yeah. You know, we could. We could work around.

[E]

He makes a pretty good. He makes a pretty strong point.

[B]

So when it comes to Winnie the Pooh, I've studied quite a bit of the anatomies of all of them. Still mad at him for the hard R on Tiggers. Josh. Wolves at the Desert Ridge Improv tonight with Jacob and tomorrow at Tempe Improv Friday and Saturday. He'll be down [e-mail] you want to grab those tickets? What else?

[A]

Mushroom show.

[B]

And that is the nine that you're doing right after 9:30.

[C]

Friday show, late night is the mushroom.

[B]

So you do 7 and 9:30, then mushrooms or 9:30.

[C]

Okay, 9:30, mushrooms.

[B]

So you get.

[D]

You're doing two a weekend.

[C]

One mushroom show.

[B]

Friday night, the 7 show. Yes, it's solid.

[E]

All the shows are solid.

[B]

But nine. Like if I'm buying tickets, if you.

[E]

If you want to come see a show you've never seen before, I would say come see the mushroom show. But I also want to say if you want to come see a show you've never had so much fun at, come see any of our shows.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Honestly man, if this, if the mushroom show, if the audience didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't do it.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Right, right. So. But it is like, it's just a little looser.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know.

[B]

Have you dabbled in other drug shows? Yeah, you know, the ketamine show, maybe.

[C]

Ketamine shows. So disassociated.

[E]

We haven't done. He hasn't done that one yet. But he did do it on the trail end of some acid.

[B]

In Portland.

[C]

Yeah, in Atlanta. I was pretty high.

[E]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, I forgot.

[B]

I love family reunions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is just high all the time.

[D]

You held my train.

[B]

I would like the ayahuasca dark show where you just have candles around you.

[C]

Amazing. Honestly, dude, the ketamine show feels like one. I would do in a corner facing.

[B]

The wall, Blair witch style. Do it. Let's just run down all of them. If you're willing to be the. The lab monkey, let's get you on stage on all of it.

[C]

I do have ketamine lollipops.

[B]

Is that right real? Oh yeah, I'm. I learned that phrase right now.

[C]

Is that real?

[B]

Never knew. No, no, I knew that.

[C]

I was like, where you been, dude?

[B]

You talk a lot. Not today. Never heard that phrase and it fell out of my own mouth. What does it mean?

[E]

Oh yeah. Ketamine lollipops.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know those. Were stumped, dude.

[E]

We were in Philadelphia and then we, our, our plane had gotten delayed for like four hours.

[B]

We were in the air, we were.

[E]

In the hotel until like 2:30 or 3. And I'm like, cool, I'll chill here. And he goes, cool, I'm going to go walk around. And then I, he, he goes, I get a phone call. An hour later. And he goes, hey, what are you doing?

[B]

I'm flying a plane.

[E]

I go, I'm just in the hotel room. He goes, cool. I found a ketamine lollipop in my jacket. Need you to come get me. And I was like, where you're at? And he goes, that's the best part. No idea. I was like, oh, wow, you're in downtown Philadelphia.

[C]

I told him my landmarks. I'm near a sneaker store.

[B]

I think I'm at Rocky's house.

[C]

It was the first. It was the first time I'd ever done ketamine.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

And it was a 500 milligram lollipop.

[B]

Good.

[C]

And it tasted good. So I was like, well, if it tastes good, it can't be too strong.

[B]

Sure.

[E]

That's why they're the strongest, by the way. If it tastes good, if. If your drugs taste good, they're way too strong.

[B]

I promise you, Josh, as not a good rule. Like, you're open about all this stuff. When was it okay for Jacob to start dabbling?

[C]

When he was a grownup.

[B]

Oh, no kidding. So when I was a kid, he comes home, he's like, you do it all the time. Like, he. You weren't like, micro dosing with him or anything?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

When did. When did you first show? Share your first let's do this together moment? Oh.

[E]

Oh, my 18th birthday.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, was it? But you had already done it.

[E]

Well, I, I. Well, this was when it came to smoking weed. I was smoking weed through high school. I'd never done a hallucinogen, really, until I was, like, 18.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

But for my 18th birthday, because we grew up in California, we'd have been, I felt, like, legal my entire life. And I asked him for my 18th birthday if we could roll a joint and smoke and walk around our.

[B]

Don't have to ask him twice. Yeah, well, but got two rolled already.

[E]

But you know who we did have to ask asked twice was my mom. He was like, let me just check this out.

[B]

Mom was not happy with this.

[E]

No, mom was okay with it.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And so we did. But, you know, now thinking back at the park that we were at in.

[B]

California, you went outside and did it.

[C]

We walked around the park. For sure. They thought he was my twink.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

They were like, look at that old guy.

[B]

He's pulling in some good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.

[D]

Usda.

[B]

Well, they thought that because you guys got so high, you started blowing each other. Come on. How far are we gonna take that's.

[D]

Why I don't like weed.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm not sure if you've ever smoked weed, but. No weed has ever made me want to do that.

[B]

Ball up every time. I'm like a potato buck. I'm going down on me. That stuff is fantastic. Down on me.

[C]

Biomom.

[B]

Their second. It was their second. It wasn't as good as the first one. Yeah, yeah. But then that.

[E]

And then we. We did some mushrooms a little bit like. But then I. I just all around just kind of stopped doing hallucinogens or anything more than smoking.

[B]

Why?

[E]

I'm a degenerate.

[B]

Oh, because you. Oh, you took it too far.

[E]

Well, I had a. I had what you like to call a problem.

[B]

Oh, I remember. Yeah, Josh told us about that. That's right.

[E]

So I had a little bit of an issue with. With the booger.

[B]

Sugar, drinking cocaine.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

For a good year, I was on it real strong.

[B]

No kidding.

[E]

I was looking through my bank statements the other day from that year. Oh, my God. I really. Wasn't. Withdrawals because I didn't have.

[D]

Have an.

[E]

I didn't have a. A debit card for two years because I lost it and. And we moved.

[C]

Know you can get a new one?

[B]

Yeah, they give them out. Well, you should.

[E]

You should. You should listen to my reason.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

I was a drug addict and had a gambling problem. So I was like, if I have a debit card, I'm going to be out of money way faster. So I didn't have a debit card to limit my gambling.

[D]

Smart thinking.

[B]

Hey, well, you know what? You were on the right track. And.

[E]

Yeah, kind of.

[C]

I'm not sure why you had to go to Server Living if you had.

[D]

It all under control.

[E]

Well, that was for you. I don't know why you sent me that.

[C]

Do you know why? I knew the F word was going to come out. It's still. There aren't too many things we argue about. Me and my wife sending him to sober living.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Is top of the list.

[B]

No kidding. Do you regret it?

[E]

I was going to say regret.

[B]

Would you miss it?

[E]

Do I miss it? I mean, look, I'm not going to tell anyone not to do it because I had a great time doing it.

[B]

So, you know, it's a good sell.

[E]

It would be a hypocritical. Hypocritical thing for me to do.

[B]

I. It seems fun in moderation.

[E]

It was fun. I'll be so honest. I did have an absolute ball doing it. Not my bank account, though, for sure. But no, I just Got too out of hand, truthfully, like. And I also didn't know a couple things about Bio mom that made me predisposed to it, which I didn't know until I was already in. Which I didn't know until I was already in what I call sober living the nuthouse. Because I was living with 14 degenerates under one roof. So when you hear me say the nuthouse.

[B]

That's what I heard.

[C]

I'm not sure why.

[D]

Better, in a way.

[E]

Did what?

[D]

Oh, the fact that the other roommates like, oh, yeah, I'm not one of these people.

[E]

Well, because I was only in it for a year. And I say only because I. In those AA meetings and in those rooms, I was like, People are like, I've been doing it for 20 years and I lost everything and I don't have a family anymore. And I'm like, oh, I, I, I, I said that I don't belong here. But I, I'm not in this group of people.

[B]

You guys are losers.

[E]

You guys are insane.

[B]

I'm leaving.

[E]

Also the most boring group of people I've ever met in my entire life. Like, those rooms were. It was no wonder you guys did drugs and drank. You're so boring now.

[C]

Like, God, 14 degenerates, one house. Who stays alive the longest? Not a terrible MTV watching that one.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, great idea, whatever they call it.

[E]

I was gonna say to be, yeah.

[B]

Tubi might be another one. Yeah, those ones like Philo, they'll show that. That's a great idea. I have a great idea for a game show.

[C]

Let's hear it.

[B]

It's been horrible. And I've been trying to pitch this for years. You know, Japanese game shows are cr.

[C]

Amazing.

[B]

The best. So we get one. Because porn, I love that. And they say, write what you know. And I like game shows. I watch Buzzer Network a lot and I watch old game shows. So I did a thing called for a million dollars, guess your dad. And then it's five glory holes and out come the wieners. And you can choose for your dollar value sight, touch or taste.

[D]

Oh, God.

[B]

Then you play Guess yous Mind mom for double the money. Same deal.

[C]

I mean, just thinking that you can push your vagina through a hole.

[B]

Just put it up against glass like one of those fish.

[C]

Are they going to have to have an Audi?

[B]

One of those Homer Simpson ones? But what would be the real problem with that game isn't that it's happening. Is it that you're pretty sure, you know? Yeah. Like, is there some sort of magnetic similarities. Yeah. Not. Not. Not necessarily. But like, is there some sort of telepathic thing innate telep moment where you're like, that's.

[D]

You're drawn to that or you're drawn.

[E]

To the hormones and the pheromones.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I have that same birthmark. Oh, man. I know that.

[C]

Oh, that would be a bummer if you were like, oh no, that's on my face.

[B]

That birthmark. And the host would have. Why do you think it is number three. Oh, you went with. Of course I did.

[A]

Has to be.

[E]

I think for the mom segment I would just put five different fish in the glory hill.

[B]

That's not.

[E]

And just let. Yeah. And just be like jokes on you. None of them are your mother.

[B]

My other game show I have, which I think is brilliant because I have all always said men are more romantic than women. Because we would go to a Burger King and fall in love with somebody behind the counter. Woman would never do that.

[C]

True.

[B]

Even if it's the most handsome man in the world. He's working at Burger King. She's already dismissed him. We will do that. We'll take the poor. The pretty woman is the poor girl on the road. She just. We fell in love. Right. So you tell women that there is a billionaire in your life today somewhere. Just to see how they behave.

[C]

By the way, this is.

[B]

Take them. Like take them to discount tire and see how do you dudes who are just on the show making minimum wage get treated by models.

[C]

See how many people at autozone get blowjobs.

[B]

Oh yeah, he is.

[C]

You know, I'd love to take you in the bag.

[D]

Well, it's all about how they behave around.

[B]

How the behavior changes when you're not sure who the billionaire is. But you've got to do these mundane.

[D]

Tasks we send to figure out who it is.

[B]

And one of them's gonna have a billion dollars in his hands and you don't know which one this is.

[C]

Actually, it's a really good idea.

[B]

It's better than my guess your dad game. Yeah. I mean probably more.

[C]

More marketable for sure.

[B]

Maybe. I don't know.

[D]

Opens up more platform.

[B]

Have you seen the Internet?

[C]

Yeah. I mean, honestly, have you guessed your dad? Feels like a Saudi Arabia type show.

[B]

It's an exposure of. Of societal behaviors that no one likes.

[E]

Interesting. Have you guessed your dad and have you guessed your mom? Feels very Alabama. I feel.

[B]

Oh, oh. It's got an audience. Look, there's a target. Like I can mark it. We Mountain Dew and like, like code red. Code Red. Make sure it's code red. All right?

[E]

Get it right and trade them.

[B]

All right, the wolves are here. We gotta go. I saw you coming. I already looked at the clock. Josh is here. Jacob's here. Josh, that's our producer, the clock manager. I thought podcasts were stowed. See, we're taping our podcast live on the radio. That's how I look at this. Got it, got it, got it. So we still get stuck on.

[C]

So when he comes out from the booth, he's like.

[B]

He's usually here to ruin things. Success. Josh Wolf, Desert Ridge Improv tonight, Tempe Improv tomorrow and Saturday if you want to go see him. Comedian Joshwolf.com is where you go. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. Yeah, before we get into anything else here, I just wanted to got a question to the Brett. We play the game every once in a while. I can't answer it. Brady can answer it. It's time to play. Play. Ask the Italian guy. This come up from Kevin Falcone.

[A]

You should know.

[B]

Two Italians having a conversation. He should know, but he's just, you know, he's making sure sometimes they need help. Brady wants some advice.

[D]

He wants a consiglierity.

[B]

You know, his son Yogi is going to a Super bowl party on Sunday. There's going to be a lot of Italians and a lot of Italian style. Garden. Gambling?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you think it would cause a problem in his life if he started gambling? Since he's only 5, if he's gonna be in the box, he should know how betting works. Brett, if you had a five year old, would you let him gamble? Nah.

[A]

He's got to learn sometime.

[B]

That's exactly what I expected. All right, there you go. It's another episode of Asking Italian. The answer is yeah, he's got to learn sometimes. Does he want to walk him through?

[A]

But he should be taking the bets.

[B]

Go.

[A]

He should be taking the bets. He should be the. The money man.

[B]

He's the one. He's a bank, right?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Not making the bets. No, Taking the action, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Teach a little Yogi Falcon first.

[A]

The right way.

[D]

Collect.

[B]

Yes, then bet.

[A]

And I have a couple six year olds on the payroll to take care of some kneecaps and stuff. You know, first graders out there to.

[B]

Knock you some people down. All right, well, there you go.

[D]

It just reminded me of when I was about five or six years old. My dad was golfing at this club called Riviera and it was predominantly Italian members. And I remember coming into the clubhouse after the round because I just rode around with my dad and they're playing poker over the. They leave the table. There's probably eight or ten guys decked out. They leave the table. We go to the table. Table and sit there afterwards. And there's just money everywhere under the table.

[B]

Oh, no kidding.

[D]

Yeah, they just left it.

[B]

Just let it lay.

[D]

Just payday for me.

[B]

And you were like a five year old that took it all.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice work.

[D]

Like dad, look at this. Left all that.

[B]

This guy driving down the road going.

[D]

That's where it went.

[B]

All right. Dummy revealed himself.

[A]

Gonna get a visitor.

[D]

We're gonna get a visit to that.

[B]

I thought Winnie the pool.

[D]

You'Re a good kid.

[B]

You're a bear of a small mind. Give me a honey pot. It is. All right. There you go. Ask an Italian. And it just happened. Well done.

[A]

Remember in the Bronx tale when he was teaching him how to throw dice, was he 5? I think he was like 10 or something like that.

[B]

Collision was pretty young early on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When he ran into chess Palmintarian that all right. I was just curious Italian. Asking another Italian, you think five's a little early. Is that frowned upon? No, no. The answer is absolutely not. Gamble away five. And if he has a problem, text next step to five three, three, four, two on his little Mickey Mouse phone and we'll be just fine. I'm not sure I want to moments where I'm going to say I'm not sure that Holmberg's morning podcast, along with Hubbard Broadcasting. Yeah, the views of Brett podcast, for God's sakes. We can do it if you have a child with a gambling problem. That's kindergarten age. We disagreed with the problem.

[A]

He's the bank. Where's the problem?

[B]

Would love to talk to that kid. Next thing you know, you know, I got my big Wheel.

[D]

I gave that up.

[B]

I lost that. I'm blowing guys for, you know, just to play casino casual.

[A]

He's got to be the bank.

[D]

I lost all. All my Legos.

[B]

I lost. Your Legos were gone.

[D]

Missed it by one.

[B]

I had a little boo boo. Gone. Just because the goddamn guy missed a field goal. I mean, come on. Where do you get the nerve to ask me that?

[A]

Have a couple of hard pipe hitting guineas on the payroll.

[B]

You're all good. I gotta ask you a question. Did you my teddy bear. You get the balls? You ask me that, then I. Your teddy bear. Come on. Anyway, saving points and a little league. Thank you. There you go. Thank you very much for playing let's ask in Italy. The answer I thought would be a given was, we got an entertainment drill coming up next. Morning sickness. Morning sickness. Before we get into the entertainment drill, which we will eventually, I'm catching up on everything. The Wolf Boys were so much fun. The wolves were fun. So we got a little behind, and that's on me. But I want to tell you guys that this is getting out of hand here. This Sunday, here's what I'm looking forward to. And I'm gonna play on your heartstrings here because you're gonna get me welling up if I start talking about it. My boyfriend Frankie is. He's all right. My little puppy Frank is. Yeah. You know, we're getting there. He's 15 years old, and we're awfully darn close. So this weekend might be Frankie weekend. I know, but it's part of it, right? So I look at it this way. He's had a. An amazing run. And I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to guess this, you know, I don't want to start saying he might, you know, he might have a snapback and have a couple great months or whatever. He's an old dog. But I'm not putting him through any more of the stuff. Megan and I have agreed that there's no more pulling needles in and out of him. Try to draw through what he's. He's been through all of it. So help me out in honor of Frankie and all of your guys, pets and everything else, Sunday, and let's do what's right for all those fuzzy guys that don't have Frankie Homes, that don't have a house that's warm and cozy and people who love them there at the Humane Society waiting for houses and all the people who help that out. We're doing a Super bowl get together on Sunday for the. You know, the big game, Right? So you got the Super Sunday of Copper Blues, and we're gonna donate a bunch of money to the Humane Society. How's about that? And here it is. This is going to get you there. So you go down there, you can donate anything you want. I mean, some of you can donate nothing if you want, but come down, watch the game. We got that going on, and we're kicking it off at 4:30. Doors will open at 2. They're helping us out with Copper Blues. Menus are all open and everything. Everything we're going to give away an arcade system for from Prestige Billiards. Meathead and the gang up there handing that over and they're the best people in the business. Prestige Billiards, we love you. $150 gift card from our guys at mo money pawn and MMP guns. We're going to have those to give away. Capita snowboard from Josh and the guys at Action Ride Shop. A whole snowboard going out the door. New mattresses from Boring Mattress. The. The folks that I used to talk about with Tuft and Needle. They got rid of Tuft and Needle. They. They ushered it into a new company. They didn't like the way the new company handled it. They left. Started all over because they kind of destroyed the TNN brand. So Boring Mattress is a new thing. Happy to meet with those guys again because I worked with them so long ago with tuft and need $300 carpet cleaning from 0rez. Awesome work. $100 gift basket from Raising Cane's chicken Fingers. If Brady doesn't get it first, $200 gift card to Crazy Girls Cabaret. Jim over there said that's good for lap dances and anything else you want to do. Keep the party going. And then also gift cards that will total up into the thousand thousands. And it's just going to be drawings, literal drawings. I'll just say, all right, a trivia question or something. It's time for a drawing and I'll give people numbers or something. We'll figure it all out. But everybody's going to get some stuff and we'll put your name in a hat. And they say we're draw for the. For the snowboard right now. And you're going to walk away with prizes. I know that that's the sell, but what I'm really shooting for here is that you guys come out, help out the Humane Society while I'm kind of having my heart slowly breaking and a half with my man Frankie. And I've been through it a million times and it never gets easier. And I know, I read a lot of emails and we've all in this room been through that a couple of times. So watching my boy kind of take his. His last days and giving him the best days he can have in his current condition is what we're up to. No bad days. That's my rule. So it's the Frankie bowl. And these allergies are killing me, man. Knock it off. The Frankie Bowl's upon us. And I want to tip my cap on my. My little. My little bestie Little Whitey and he's, he's, you know, he's on the couch right now just trying to look at you. He's lost his sight, he's lost his hearing and he's just walking around getting a bite to eat now and again at best he can. He's just not, you know. But yeah, it sucks. But he's a good one. So let's make Frankie bowl a big success for future Frankie's, for all of you guys. Because he made my life better for the last 14 and a half years. Just like those dogs tend to do. They just make the world better. Get your through an awful lot of stuff and hopefully we'll see you Sunday at Copper Blues Downtown Entertainment Drill Coming at you next. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] just had a big sneeze, everybody. I'm about. I got another one on deck coming too. It's got me.

[D]

Here's some pepper.

[B]

This goddamn wind isn't gonna help either, is it? We were just talking about that thing off the air of the Epstein deal and I read that same thing you read Brett about Bill Gates saying, I feel like a fool I ever hung out with. Knock it off.

[D]

I want Linda saying, I want.

[B]

Who cares? I want somebody to come out and go, yeah, I hung out with him. Of course I hung out. When they got an island with a rug Runway and a resort on it. Yes, you'd had to give most guy.

[D]

From CBS that has stepped away from covering stuff said, exactly.

[B]

He said, of course I went to this.

[D]

He's like, at the time when Bill.

[B]

Gates to say it, you give me an invite to an island with a Runway and you get a private jet to go. It's going to take me two or three times to get out of my own way to look around and go, hey, something's going wrong here.

[A]

Well, that and presidents are there, movie stars, everything blinded.

[D]

You're invited to show here for in.

[B]

This building for 10 years. I don't know anything that's going on with these people. I'm enjoying myself too much if I look. If you go someplace that's fun and there's drugs going on. I went through all of high school for three years and when I was 30, my friend Todd Linkus came over and said, oh, I nailed her. I banged that. I'm like, we were doing that in high school. I didn't even know that was allowed. I didn't.

[D]

Now you're Part of it, John.

[B]

Yeah. And so just. Will somebody just come out and go, of course I was on the island. It was awesome. I didn't know anybody was underage. I. I made assumptions and I didn't have sex with people there. Just be honest. Quit saying that you regret it. It's not gonna fix anything. Bill Gates, I feel like such a fool. Well, yeah, in hindsight, but it's because you got caught.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Why don't you even. Getting caught. That's the thing. It seems like you're caught.

[A]

No, with Bill Gates is what I'm.

[B]

Saying, but it seems like you're caught that you did. That you did something wrong when you're done, oh, I shouldn't have ever done it. No, of course I would do it again. I'd say I would do it. Absolutely. If another billionaire says, hey, come to my island, I. I'd go. And I'd go three or four times before I stopped having so much fun that I'd look around and go, oh, my God, everybody here is doing crimes.

[D]

And you'd be surprised at how many people have reached out. This guy raised a lot of money and donated a ton of money again to some research.

[B]

And that doesn't make anything bad. You can't just lump everything into that pile. Of course he was a billionaire. Of course he gave money to charities. Of course, your charity benefit. Of course he did stuff that wasn't. He's a terrible person for the one thing he did, but it doesn't make everybody around him guilty. Now, the people who knew and participated, that'll come out, but Bill Gates is a dumbass. I want to fix my reputation now. Yeah, you were friends with. We didn't know either. It's not like everybody was screaming, you shouldn't hang out with that guy right off the bat. A few people did later. Trump was one of them. And now they got some girl coming into that thing saying that Trump. That she was. She had to blame Trump and then she got smacked. I read the story. I missed that story. The press secretary is talking about it a couple days ago. That was interesting. But come on, if you're on Epstein Island, I'm going to give you some grace because I know for a fact I'd have gone. I know he'd have gone for sure. You'd have gone, oh, yeah.

[D]

I might have gone.

[B]

No, you don't ask any. You wouldn't have known anything. You don't. You don't go in there, you know, looking for clues and asking questions. You are all about making sure Brady is having a good time with all these people meeting and I hobnobbing.

[A]

Imagine the spread.

[B]

Oh the food. You'd be lofting your own tummy puddles most of the time. This is the best vacation ever. I have a friend who just told me he had a weekend with a guy who he became friends with. Gave him a Lamborghini to drive around for a little bit and then he ended up at somehow or another at Danville Zarian's house. It's like I didn't. I was just there for like a little. Next thing you know, I meet one dude and he said I don't know anything about his history. Could have been crazy. What a story. Anyway, it's time for the entertainment drills. If a billionaire asked you to do something, you're probably gonna go. Especially if he's foot in the bill because it's stuff you're never gonna see. It's pretty great. Now if you start doing bad things, that's on you. But that's true every day. It's the entertainment drill brought to you by our friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Teamidoc.com they take care of the suns in action tonight and the Diamondbacks coming up in a couple weeks got spring training. They take care of both those teams eyes and those are some precious eyeballs. They're getting paid a lot of money. There's a lot of value in the eyes of a professional athlete and they trust the Schwartz Eye center for that. So if you get out there, talk to Dr. Jay Schwartz. He's going to get you in your complimentary consultation. Get you out of those glasses and contacts and have you seen clearer than ever the Schwartz Laser eye Center team idoc.com Brady Little John's 27 year old.

[D]

Son has been missing since Tuesday morning. Friends and family are concerned for safety. 27 year old Nathan Smith ran out of his home in Milton, Georgia around 6am hasn't been seen since. Police say he left on foot, does not possess a phone. He may be disoriented and need and in need of some assistance.

[B]

Is he much more wrong with him?

[D]

I'm not sure. I don't have the details.

[A]

Something weird there.

[D]

A rep from.

[A]

Yeah, that's the way it sounded.

[D]

Yeah. A rep from Little John said the family is asking for privacy at this time. We are also asking for continued prayers for Nathan to come home safe.

[B]

Sure. Yeah. All right. Why isn't he allowed to have a phone?

[D]

And why wouldn't you? You, I don't know. You Must have some kind of. Sounds like a disability mentally or.

[B]

I don't know any of that. I just don't know.

[D]

You think you'd want him to have something to communicate, you think, you know, like if he is in a situation like that.

[B]

What kind of. If you got a disabled person, you want to phone on them more.

[D]

Leaves the house and gets lost.

[B]

Yeah. They're more fragile. They're more sustainable. Acceptable. You think you'd want them to have phones? What's he doing with that phone?

[D]

You know if I would have a tracker on them.

[B]

Sure. You want to chip them like a golden retriever.

[D]

Well, I mean, they wear those necklaces. Well, it's a couple years ago. That's right. Michelle Calendo had the kids wear cards.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

They were crazy, though. Yeah. Admittedly, at school.

[D]

And she wanted to check it. It went through a phase where she thought, I don't want to. Anything going wrong with him.

[B]

She was insane. She admits that now. That was absolute insanity.

[D]

Yep. It was a face.

[B]

But tracking a. Like what you say? The crippled tracking system. If you get a cripple that gets loose every once in a while, you should probably put an apple air tag on that like a suitcase.

[D]

Remember that story on the Winter Olympics about the ski jumpers?

[B]

No. Oh, yeah. Enlarging their crotch areas for aerodynamics.

[D]

Yep. Ski jump jumpers will now have to wear. Will be microchipped suits. The suits will be microchipped and they'll get scanned to measure the space between their legs to see if they. The crotch enlargens or there's crotch enlarging going on. On the jump.

[B]

Is enlarging a word?

[D]

Crotch enlarging.

[A]

Feel like in Spinal Tapper. He's got the cucumber wrapped in the tinfoil through.

[B]

Huh. So the suit will know.

[D]

Yeah. If it expands.

[B]

Oh, what do we have? But it could expand just out of excitement. Yeah.

[A]

What if Margot Robbie's walking by?

[B]

So the key to this thing is to have a natural erection while you do the ski jump, which I couldn't.

[D]

Yeah. The Norwegian team got caught adding extra fabric to the suits that were worn.

[B]

Right on the top.

[D]

Male athletes.

[B]

I wonder who came back like, oh, I flew 12ft further when I had the hairdo dick. Like, they're like, I'll try to. And then you give a guy like a fluffer up at there at the top, and he goes down. Because I flew five feet farther with the harder dick. They had to do tests where soft dicks flew and hard ones flew. And they're like the harder ones Are winning.

[D]

There have been reports that athletes have been employing other methods to increase their crotch size, including injecting.

[B]

Great. It's another sport. Black people are going to take over. Wait a minute. What? You flat father with that? All right, step aside. How is Kenya winning all these gold medals? And ski jump.

[A]

Hold my Hennessy.

[B]

Hang on to this for a second. I'm gonna go jump something. Damn.

[D]

Damn it.

[B]

He can get so high in the air, but he just won't go to the ceiling. And fix that.

[D]

Filling their pants with modeling clay, huh?

[B]

Yeah. Well.

[D]

Well, yeah. What happens if a guy comes with a big horn?

[B]

Yeah, he's carrying a big down.

[D]

He'd have an advantage.

[B]

Well, there you go. If you're busy playing in the G League in the NBA and you're like, this isn't going to pan out, start jumping and soon we'll have another. White men can't jump. And it'll be ski jumps. Great. And you're just going to see these floating dongs like. Like refueling planes in the air as they fly through the Olympics.

[D]

Former Bachelor host Chris Harrison is doing a dating show for people who want a traditional marriage minded partnership built on commitment and shared values. He was the one that got eliminated.

[B]

So it's not the Bachelor.

[D]

It's because he went to. He sided with a girl that went to that.

[B]

Well, he just. He just didn't fall into the trap of the girl who had antebellum parties at her ole Miss.

[D]

He got accused. College.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he said it wasn't a big deal. And then one of the old bachelorettes, Rachel, comes out of the woodwork and says, now he's racist. I'm like, wait a minute. And then ABC caved. He wasn't being racist. He was supporting someone who's like, I think you're being a little rough on a girl who was in college having an antebellum party. By the way, she picked the black guy. They're still together as far as I know. I don't know that for sure, but.

[D]

Yeah, she attended that party and she.

[B]

Went to an antebellum party. Good time again. Give her some grace. It's the same thing as the Epstein Island. You're an Ole Miss and your sorority's having a party. And it's like, I don't even. I'm not from here. What is that? We dress up like it's 1850. That's dangerous no matter where you go.

[D]

And of course, some people are chapped at it. Of course he's doing this. He's trying to bring traditional values. Well, that'll be making women, you know, demeaning the women to cook, clean, and where's that demeaning?

[B]

Why are traditional roles for men never going to change, but the ones that are for women are?

[D]

One lady says, I'm sorry, this is giving maga.

[B]

No, it's not.

[D]

Other others are asking for a definition of the clear roles he mentioned.

[B]

We still have to provide, protect, be a man all the time or we're deadbeats. There are roles that you guys can have too. You can. There's nothing wrong with saying, hey, she's an amazing, amazing, typical old fashioned, they call it woman who likes to cook and likes making cooking bad is dumb. We're, we have to eat. Why can't the man do it? Okay, we can, but then what are your services? What are you providing in the relationship? If he cooks, he cleans, he provides, he protects. I bring half in. All right, do you clean? How dare you. I'm like, all right, what do I do?

[D]

We're giving you stuff and saying you're better at it, but if you want us to do it, we're going to end up being better at it.

[B]

But if you're making it so you have all your roles are offensive.

[D]

You want us to cook?

[B]

Yeah, we'll do it. What, what roles are you bringing to the party that I can talk about that don't offend you? Because you keep like, all of ours are the same and we got to adapt to the new rules. We. Nothing's changed from for men. We're still the providers. We're still the protectors.

[D]

We're, we're still willing.

[B]

We're not sitting, yeah, we're, we're just sitting there waiting, cooking and cleaning. How dare you. Like, all right, what is exactly I'm going to need from you if it keeps going this way, it's going to ice themselves out. And that's why Japan's working so goddamn hard on those robots. AI powered girl robots that'll do some stuff and not yell at you all the time. Time for, hey, did you clean the house? Oh my God, look, you live there too. Don't you want it clean? You didn't lift a finger. Okay, I'm gone. The robot won't do this.

[D]

Can you imagine it's doing all that stuff and then on top of that, my lawyer, my doctor.

[B]

Yeah, that's silly. We're done. 1109. Larry's coming up next and he's got himself all sorts of stuff. Boy, does Larry, he told me something yesterday. I can't let the cat out of the bag. But oh, my God, wait until you hear what this radio station has planned for you guys starting next week. We got one thing after that. Let me just say this. For the 25th anniversary of this show, we're starting with the grand prize. And it's a mother. It's great. Look at him over there, just nodding the way John knows it's 10:09. Just stay tuned. Larry's not going to tell you a word about this, but it's literally looming. And he's done an amazing job hooking this up. Yay, Larry. Our king. Larry's next. Have a great day. We'll see you tomorrow. In the morning Sickness, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erected.