02-05-26 - Wendy Emails In Thanking John For His Beauty And Aging Comments This Week As We Tell Women To Get Better At Their Tight 5 Of Stories - Yes We Were Duped By The AI Manson Song But Also Realizing How Good It Still Was

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - 02-05-26

Episode Theme:
Humorously dissecting the anxieties and realities of aging, beauty standards, and the importance of developing a strong personality (a "tight five" of stories), while reflecting on AI’s surprising ability to create art as good—or better—than humans.

1. Episode Overview

The crew—John Holmberg (host), Brett Vesely, Brady Bogen, and Dick Toledo—delve into recent listener feedback about beauty and aging, roasting the modern obsession with youth, and celebrating the lesser-appreciated gift of having a good personality. The episode weaves these discussions with banter about storytelling, personal growth, AI’s jaw-dropping musical prowess, and a playful critique of both male and female responses to growing older.

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2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

Listener Emails: Aging, Beauty, and Comedy

• Listener Wendy’s Letter ([03:02]): Wendy thanks John for "being an asshole" and making her realize her obsession with keeping youth stemmed from her own insecurity—not her ex-husband’s new younger wife.

  • John clarifies: He’s not shaming cosmetic surgery, but urges people to stop being angry at the standards they themselves chase.
  • Quote: “Don’t try to look like you’re 30 and then get mad when 30 is the standard. That was my point.” (John [04:34])

• Developing a Personality vs. Relying on Looks

  • The crew riffs on how pretty women in their 40s often realize they never had to develop a personality because they coasted on looks.
  • Brett: “Beautiful women hit their 40s and realize they didn’t develop a personality... What else you got?” ([04:51])
  • The group jokingly prescribes "personality rookie camp" for attractive young women.
  • NFL analogy: “Being a beautiful person is the equivalent of being an NFL running back. It only lasts for a few years, and then you better have some skills like broadcasting or insurance.” (Brett [10:46])

The “Tight Five” & Storytelling Skills

• The guys stress the social superpower of having a solid “tight five” (comedic term for five polished minutes of material).

  • John: “Ask yourself, what’s a good story I tell? Succinct. Like a comedian—get a tight five minutes you can always lean on.” ([15:15])
  • Brett: “If you’re pretty, we’ll get used to that. You gotta have some angles there.” ([24:41])
  • They praise Toledo’s infamous “whore grandmother” story as a gold standard “tight five.” ([18:50])
  • Playful competitive edge: "If you’re a hot girl and you can’t top a Toledo story, get into liposuction in your 40s and end it." (Brett [19:44])

• Storytelling as Social Currency:

  • The hosts share their own and listeners’ best five stories, highlighting wild, tragic, or unforgettable family anecdotes (e.g., racist parrot, absent father, house with a murder-suicide, lesbian aunt, dad in the Cuban revolution) ([22:00]–[34:13])
  • Quote: “We should offer a service in the podcast where you... need a tight five, here’s 12 evergreen stories anyone can tell.” (Brett [33:03])

AI in Entertainment: The Marilyn Manson Song Twist

• The team reflects on being “duped” by an AI-generated Marilyn Manson song, but admit it was better than much of Manson’s real work ([36:23]–[38:16]).
  • John: “If you ask me, Marilyn Manson’s third best song—and it’s not him.” ([36:54])
  • Brett: “That’s the first time [AI] brought something to me that said, you can’t beat me... The first entertainment moment where I’m like, oh yeah, it’s completely unnecessary [to try].” ([39:53])
• They debate whether the appeal and convenience of AI music outweighs the discomfort of human obsolescence in creativity.
  • Brett: “You gave up your freedom for convenience in a lot of ways, and it’s just going to keep happening. But you know what? It’s not that bad.” ([41:18])

Lighthearted Segues & Social Commentary

• The show runs through digressions on hot girls with “fat funny friends,” advice for beautiful people to “steal stories” from ugly friends, and jokes about bad storytellers.
• Funny listener interactions include: being called “good looking for a white guy” ([21:37]), and the ability of ugly people to weave great tales versus beautiful people being too in their heads.
  • “Nothing worse than a vapid 50-year-old man who used to be good looking.” (Brett [11:36])

AI, Music Business, & Human Adaptation

• The group extrapolates how AI upends the traditional music business; artists and labels may prefer AI because it’s fast, cheap, and consistently good ([43:10]–[44:49]).
  • “If that [song] made them [labels] stop spending money on humans, you tell me Marilyn Manson’s management wouldn’t go, get it out there. We did this in three minutes.” (Brett [44:09])

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3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Don’t try to look like you’re 30 and then get mad when 30 is the standard. That was my point.” (John Holmberg [04:34])
• “Beautiful women hit their 40s and realize they didn’t develop a personality... What else you got?” (Brett Vesely [04:51])
• “Being a beautiful person is the equivalent of being an NFL running back. It only lasts for a few years, and then you better have some skills like broadcasting or insurance.” (Brett [10:46])
• “If you’re a hot girl and you can’t top a Toledo story, get into liposuction in your 40s and end it.” (Brett [19:44])
• “That’s the first time [AI] brought something to me that said, you can’t beat me... The first entertainment moment where I’m like, oh yeah, it’s completely unnecessary [to try].” (Brett [39:53])
• “You gave up your freedom for convenience... and it’s just going to keep happening. But you know what? It’s not that bad.” (Brett [41:18])

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4. Important Timestamps

• 03:02 – Wendy’s email about beauty, liposuction, and aging.
• 04:34 – John’s message: stop being mad about chasing youth.
• 10:44/10:46 – NFL running back analogy for beauty’s short window.
• 15:15 – The importance of a “tight five” for women (and everyone).
• 18:50/19:44 – Toledo’s legendary “whore grandmother” story.
• 33:03 – Suggesting a service to buy “tight five” stories.
• 36:23–38:16 – Marilyn Manson AI song revealed as fake but “better than the real thing.”
• 39:53 – Brett’s realization: AI now out-competes human creativity in some areas.
• 41:18 – Philosophizing the human willingness to trade privacy for convenience, even as AI advances.
• 44:09/44:49 – Predictions about music industry’s future embracing AI.

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5. Tone & Style

The podcast maintains a freewheeling, punchy, irreverent tone. The humor is sharp, often self-deprecating, with equal-opportunity roasting of beautiful and not-so-beautiful folks alike. The conversation is marked by quick pivots from biting social critique to gleefully inappropriate anecdotes.

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6. Conclusion

Takeaways:

• Beauty fades, but a great personality (or at least a killer “tight five”) is the real long-game superpower.
• Don’t chase youth bitterly or blame others for beauty standards—if cosmetic procedures make you happy, do it for you, not out of anger.
• AI’s creative powers are no longer theoretical—the guys were genuinely stunned by an AI Manson track they liked more than the artist’s own recent work, sparking a frank reckoning with what human creativity means in an age of technological marvels.

A must-listen for: Fans of unfiltered radio banter, anyone wrestling with aging or social insecurities, and anyone curious about pop culture’s convergence with artificial intelligence.

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories.

[Brett]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] Is this Homburg? It's a trap. No. All right, off we go for Thursday morning. Now Open begins today. The people's Open is out there and ready to go. Got some folks running around, doing their thing and being part of it. Nobody's looking for, you know, maybe Savannah Guthrie's mom's there. Keep your eyes open. They're telling you everywhere you go to look. I don't think anybody's got that on their mind there, but Marshall says, man, I like it. Make it a celebration party. John's amazing hide and seek extravaganza, slash cookout. If John goes missing, we have an enthusiastic search. And if he's dead, well, at least we had a good time. It's like the Easter keg. Very rarely at the after party for the Easter keg do I hear people going, I wish I hadn't done that. You have a good time, you goof around, and only one person's gonna find the magic keg. 98 others, you might find some other stuff, but nobody ever leaves going, you know what? That stunk. Cause it's fun. And that's what we're aiming for. And Brett and I were talking about that boy aquarium thing again. I got emails from people. It does. That's just so proud of you gays. But it also kind of wrecks something. Great, great joke. If I have to live my life saying, I'm here for the jokes, I have to recognize when one stinks. And that was a hell of a. Hell of a hit to the world of hockey. Somebody says, john, since you now are doing a podcast. Well, we've been doing a podcast the whole time. It's just now called that. With this new podcast approach, should I listen to you on the radio or the podcast? I do both, but I'm wondering which you would prefer. This takes a turn. Also, my wife and I have a sexual issue. What? I went down on her about a year ago, and it was rough and I said something. I joked that I was going to get face herpes and lose an eye. Since then, I haven't been allowed to go down there anymore. But I was just joking. Will you please fix this? You can't. You can't make jokes about the stinky. You just gotta get out of there.

[Brady]

He was just. You can't joke. What?

[Brett]

It was clean Right.

[John Holmberg]

Not as far as like shaving.

[Brett]

Well, I don't know that well. I just know that he went down there and tasted something that wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought he was like getting rough.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

No, no, no, no. Yeah, no. He was saying this like he was sanding a. This is gonna make me sick.

[John Holmberg]

Two by four.

[Brett]

And he went down there and he got a bad. A bad taste. A joked she won't let him go down there anymore because it was as simple as shaving. She just shaved. Next time she would.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

She's like, no, you're not. Not risking this. And he hasn't been able to. To do that because he made face. AIDS jokes. Can't do that. Not during. Maybe later she needs to clean up a little bit. But even later, it's just something you just. You die with that. You just die with it. You don't. Yeah.

[Brady]

Sometimes you learn things you gotta keep to yourself.

[Brett]

Yeah. Sometimes you don't fight that fight because if you try to. You try to go down there again, it's like now stink again. They never forget elephants and terrible. And they're right. You know, they're right. It's. Yeah, you get. You can't do that. We can't fix that. You blew it. And then this one says, I like this one. I like emails that. Sorry, it's not. A lot of people get these types of emails at work. Hey, Holmberg, you're such an asshole. I love those. I canceled my liposuction consultation because of you. You read that letter to Rachel the other day. And I've realized I've been chasing youth for years because I'm mad at my ex husband. He now has a 36 year old wife. He's 56. I spent my whole life trying to look like I was 30. Why? Then my husband, after we get divorced, finds a lovely woman who's about that age. And I was mad at him. But when you yelled at Rachel the other day, I realized I've been mad at me the whole time I listened to you because you're an asshole. So don't take it as an insult. But this time I think it might have been me. Wendy, Wendy, nobody said don't get liposuction. Nobody. Don't accept this. You're aging. You need to do something about it. But stop yelling at us. The whole point is don't try to look like you're 30 and then get mad when 30 is the standard. That was my point. I do it for yourself, but get the liposuction. For God's sakes, get out there to sono bello or whoever's doing the work. Get it done. Nobody's saying quit. Good Lord, woman. That's the difference. You don't have to accept that. You, you just have to quit. I don't do it.

[Brady]

Can't accept me for who I am.

[Brett]

No. No. Yeah, that's the problem with pretty women. Oh, boy, here we go. I'm going to do it again. Beautiful women hit their 40s and realize that they didn't develop a personality. They've been skating on their looks the whole time. And then when personality and decisions and, like, thought have to come into it, they would look around like, wait a minute, I'm supposed to get handed things. I'm beautiful. Like, but, yeah, but we've seen you a long time now. You're still beautiful. But we're used to it. What else you got? And then they start getting suction and adding butts and boobs.

[Brady]

Like now.

[Brett]

How about now? They're like, yeah, it'll last for a couple years. We've still seen you a long time. Like, you got a person. You could tell jokes, good stories, anything you got in there. Play video games. What do you do? And then they go.

[Brady]

If you're laughing.

[Brett]

Yeah. Then they go crazy. And then, and then that happens. Then they stiffen up and turn into people that don't have any fish. Yep, yep. And you start looking like one of Jeff Dunham's puppets. And you blame us for the standard. No, no, no, no. Best advice I can give a beautiful woman, start learning how to be fun in your 20s and not in a way that's intimidating. You can't be funny and gorgeous in your 20s. Can't do it. But you can be fun and develop a personality. You don't have a personality by the time you hit 40 and you're beautiful. Us uglies, we've got it figured out. I had to develop some sort of thing in, like, fifth grade. I knew I was on the track for ugly real early. I was a cute kid, like a Macaulay Culkin style, cute little blonde, toe headed, you know, adorable. Sixth, seventh grade, I started to become something else. Like something was happening. My head got too big. My body never developed properly. I looked funny. In seventh grade, I went from sixth grade being like, this is going to be easy. You know, I had Amber Hunt and Sharla Hartfixon and Machen scenario in my sixth grade class and all three of them thought I was adorable. Seventh grade, something happened. I started getting weird.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

A lot of that was going on. Like what happened? Like they would say it and I'm like, oh, I got to be hilarious or I'm in trouble quick. And it still didn't get me through much, but it just got me from now, now, now I'm finally kind of aged into my head where people don't care about how I look. But boy, he's fun. And that's how you do it. Uggos have to learn early. Pretty girls, they don't have to do that. It's like athletes. Everybody wonders why you say, why is he, why is Antonio Brown crazy? They're pampered because he never had to do anything. And once it kind of fell on him to be a human being. He's like, I don't know, I don't know how to do this. Everything gets handed to me. What do you mean? I got to make decisions. Somebody else does that. Beautiful people. The best advice you can get is even if you're faking it, copy a personality and have at it. It's surprise. Isn't it surprising to mention she's gorgeous? She's really got a good personality. Yeah, it's very rare. That can be pretty people can be super nice and stuff, but they're usually kind of void of depth or, you know, ability.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta find the happy medium.

[Brett]

You gotta get that medium.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because you know, the fatties are.

[Brett]

Always, you know, they're fun. Yeah, they know.

[John Holmberg]

But they had to learn mouth hugs and hairs and stuff like that because they got nothing else going.

[Brett]

This is why hot girls always have a fat friend. Because she keeps the party moving. Exactly. The hot girls just stand there. That's all they need to do. Fat girl. You know, ever go to those strip clubs and they have the fat girl as the mc because after a while the hot girls get a little boring. So you mix it up in the middle with some sort of pig that's like aware of her differences and she comes out and starts making jokes. Remember in showgirls before all the acts came out, that big fat red headed lady come out, she'd go and her boobs would fall out of that awful shirt and everybody would laugh and she's fine with it. Her boobs showed up, people laughed. Next girl, it got real quiet. She didn't have to tell jokes. You gotta learn to do that. But for God's sakes, lady, if you're going to get a liposuction consultation, go get it. Nobody's saying not to. I'm just saying stop being mad about Doing that stuff. That's all. Rachel was mad at me, and I didn't even do anything. She was really mad at her ex husband, if you remember the letter, screaming at me, you did this, you did that. My husband left me. And he's. He's. Well, we figured it out too. He's like 72 and his wife was 48 or something like that. Is that Something like that? Yeah. Yeah. And we always. The Belichick thing, she was mad at because we said Belichick's like. Yeah, but all you guys do is spend billions of dollars not to age. And then when men find young women attractive, you're mad, but that's what you want to look like. Like you're trying real hard.

[Brady]

Well, I think, you know, Brett mentioned a good point that it. Do it for yourself.

[Brett]

Sure.

[Brady]

Because if you get into that circle where you're doing it for everyone else.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady]

It'll never stop.

[Brett]

Of course. And even for yourself, it'll never stop.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If you're trying to.

[Brady]

There's a fine.

[Brett]

Well, if you're trying to mask your sadness with physicality because you feel like you've lost a step, that's a. That's a beautiful person recognizing. I got to get this back or I'm behind the eight ball. I'm losing to the next generation. You can't do that. Plenty of, like, super smoking hot women think something's wrong with them and then try to fix it with some. With extra. Don't do that. Liposuction. That's easy. Nice little contours.

[John Holmberg]

You're back at Dyson.

[Brett]

You're good. Oh, yeah. That doesn't necessarily make you look younger. It's just.

[Brady]

Maybe you don't need it.

[Brett]

Yeah. Cheat code. Yeah. Maybe you don't need it. Yeah. Brady's right. [e-mail] Fire over a couple of shots. Don't call me an. And then you canceled your consultation. I never said do that. Then you'd have classes at community colleges at night for, like, hot girls. And like, you sure you got a personality? You sure you got one? Because if you come in here and like, nah. Like, we're. You're. You might have a nice run here through your 20s and 30s, but it's gonna get you. And it isn't because you look bad. It's because we've seen it.

[Brady]

Or teach them, like, rookie camp. Enjoy the run right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Remember, enjoy your 15 minutes.

[Brett]

Yeah. Go. This. It's a. Being a beautiful person is the equivalent of being an nf. NFL running back. It only lasts for a few years and then you better have some skills like broadcasting or an insurance. You better have something else. Everything gets tiring. There's always something coming up behind you that's like hot. Remember the first time you saw Pamela Anderson? Yeah. When's the last time you, you google searched that video of her and Tommy Lee? It's been a long time. You've seen it, no surprises. You know she's beautiful, but what else you got? I've seen this one. When you start lasting 40, 50 years, your beauty's still there, but now it's just you. He's got to walk into new rooms with new people and be beautiful. And then after that, you know, he's walking in there to age appropriate rooms and all those guys are like, I've seen beautiful women before. What else you got?

[Brady]

Well, they say gracefully.

[Brett]

Age, yeah, age, yeah, age gracefully. But also keep an eye on it. But man, I'm telling you, being ugly was a gift. A gift. And there's nothing worse than a vapid 50 year old man who used to be good looking. Oh, it's pathetic. And only disappointment comes from that. I have a friend recently that I saw who we just made fun of him. It's like you hit the quit button. This dude used to be good looking. Like he was great. Started to lose his hair a little bit. He's like, I saw he's got to be 70 pounds overweight. He's got no hair at all and he's still hanging on to what's there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's got the toilet seat.

[Brett]

His whole face is just covered in gray and he just looks like he like, he like, like got lost on a, on a ship for years and came back all sea ruddy and like, like you hit the quit button. What happened here?

[Toledo]

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[Brett]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness, and he's all too quick to tell you, well, I'm old now. Like, he's. He's way too. Like, he doesn't do anything. He's embraced age like it's a gift. No, we got a couple friends like that. I should have never looked better than you. You've. I admire the dudes that don't hit the quit button. Don't hit the quit button. This dude, because his life was easy. Chicks falling all over him. You know what else? He's got a fat girlfriend. And I never thought I'd say that in my life. Big fat. He used to date, like, models. I hadn't seen him in. God, I mean, 20 years, 15 years. The horrors of aging have attacked him. Attacked him like a bat.

[John Holmberg]

But guys give up, too.

[Brett]

Oh, of course. He's one of them. Hit the quit button and he's like, yeah, I got my new girlfriend. And nobody said anything. And she's standing right there. She seemed nice. She had a personality. Yeah, she was fun. She made some dark jokes. I'm like, I like this. This girl's funny. But if I was a matchmaker and you gave me his name and said, what would you match him up with? I'm like, this dude only cream of the crops for hours. I know. He found himself a. And she's troll. Like, she's got a bad haircut, terrible bangs that are too high. She's about five, four. I don't know. I'm not good at this. I'm in a circus. About 325, I'm guessing. I don't know. I wouldn't. I think you need a crane to get her in bed.

[Brady]

Send pictures.

[Brett]

No, don't gotta get him from the Hubble. She was wide is what I'm saying. She's not 325, but she was big for him especially. And she had dumpy butt, too, which was bad. Like, she had jeans that, like, they're sloshy is the word I would use. I turned to my friend and I'm like, you remember him? It's like, jesus Christ, what happened? I'm like, that's the last thing you want people to say about it. And he's. He's always lived on it. It's not easy to hit the quit button, ladies. You can't. If you're beautiful right now and you know it or you think you are, think. Think to yourself right now. What's the best story I could tell today? Like, what's a good story? Because you know how many times we've listened to hot girls tell stories that just don't go anywhere? Like nails on a chalkboard. Land the goddamn plane. And then you realize midway through the story, this thing doesn't have an ending. We're on that Malaysian flight that just goes until it dumps into the ocean, like, oh. And we just. Great. And we're laughing like, oh, my God, I'm Kansas. God. Her. And then I get distracted and they start dancing to something. I'm like, oh, no, she's lost. And I gotta pretend to be interested. We don't do that the whole time. On your way to work today, ladies and Wendy, reschedule your liposuction. Yeah. First off. Yeah, call them back. That was stupid. I might be an. But I'm not. That was a dumb move. Keep chasing that. But don't be mad about it. That's all I'm saying. Chase youth. Don't be angry about it. And on your way to the Sono Bella where you're gonna get sucked up, ask yourself, what's a good story? I tell a succinct get. It's like a comedian. Get a tight five. Get a tight five minutes that you can always lean on with people at parties. And then. Oh, man. Have you heard Wendy's story about the octopus and the pencils? Wendy, you gotta tell it. That is when people are like, my God, she is just. She's got it all. Tell a good tight five. That's all we're looking for is a tight five. And if you're a man with a hot woman and she's got a tight five, and that sounds terrible, but you know what I mean. A tight five goes forever. And being an ugly person, I've got, like, a tight 35. I can go all over them. You bring up a topic. I can bring something to the party on that. That guy's crap. Please. Brady's got a tight 50. You get Brady into Motorcycle rides. He can tell you about dudes who crap their pants. He's got great stories. Ugly people always have great stories. Brett, I'm not so sure about you. Well, you don't like to talk about, you know, your stories. Usually someone has to go to jail. Your stories are great. I have no stories. No, your stories are great. But Brett is one of those. He comes in, say, he's a handsome man. He goes, vic, how you doing? You're like, what's going on, Brett? None of your business. And then you sit in his. And then he goes, look at this. And then he gives you a picture of his grandfather with Jimmy Hoff. And I'm like, that's all you need. Like he's. Picture pages. How going, Brett? This is fascinating. I know. And then he goes, somebody just said Tigger. And then he walks through the room and starts laughing. He hears in the background, well, I mean, it was a chink in the armor.

[Brady]

I like this guy.

[Brett]

Brett heard you say chink in the armor.

[Brady]

Anyway.

[Brett]

That guy. Yeah. And that's your personality. He's like, this guy. He's just jovial. What about Toledo? No, personality is the word I'm looking for. That's a. You got to have one to. Actually, I don't know. Does Toledo have a tight five? Toledo. I think he's got the door closed. Hi, Richard. Get it up.

[John Holmberg]

There he comes.

[Brett]

Toledo's got a tight five. Now that I think about Toledo. You come into a party, and I'm like, hey, give him your tight five. Toledo. Tell him that story. You know the one. And then what? What do you go to?

[Toledo]

Whore grandmother.

[Brett]

Whore grandmother. It's a. It's a phenomenal monster type. And it leads to a tight 20 because people have questions. Horror grandmother might be the tightest of all of our stories.

[Toledo]

Absent biological father.

[Brett]

And that one gets a little shady because you get not as interesting. Whore grandmother selling babies. Yep. Prostitution.

[Toledo]

It's got everything looks written about the whole institute.

[Brett]

Look at this. Yeah, the documentary about your whore grandmother and her story.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

Not the whore grandmother.

[Toledo]

The one who bought the chiropractor.

[John Holmberg]

Who.

[Brett]

Who already interested the baby buyer. The baby buyer.

[Toledo]

She's the baby seller.

[Brett]

Oh, she's the.

[Toledo]

He was the middleman. Taking a little bit off the top.

[Brett]

Wasn't the baby buyer of Billings. What's her name, But Montana. Okay.

[Toledo]

Gertrude Pit Cannon.

[Brett]

God damn it. See, look at us. We're all just like, oh, Edge of our seat for rich.

[Toledo]

And they have a title. Gertie's babies.

[Brett]

All of them.

[Toledo]

They Found each other.

[Brett]

He's the standard. Toast is the standard. If you're a hot girl and you can't top a Toledo story, get in the. Get into the liposuction in your 40s and end it. That's a fact. Tight five. That's a great tight five. Mine vacillates. What are we talking about? And I can usually bring you something. I usually have jokes about Dad. I got all sorts. I can bring you anything. Father Dale. Oh, I got all sorts. I got good stories. I got an 8th grade teacher jerked off a horse in front of me. I can go anywhere. I'm sure all of us in this room have something like, oh, I can relate to that. I don't know. It'd be a topper.

[Toledo]

But Brett's high school was a slaughterhouse.

[Brett]

Brett slaughtered a cow in high school. Nobody. I don't know anybody who has that. I don't know.

[Toledo]

I'm from Montana. We didn't have that.

[Brett]

There are 11 to 15 people with the story of our agriculture teacher jerking off a horse. That's it. I can't imagine that they allowed that twice. Somebody's mom and dad called. What happened at school today? My kid won't stop crying. He saw, and they're like, oh, he was on the field trip. Yeah, to the horse farm. What did you do? Oh, the teacher jerked off a horse.

[Brady]

There'd be a lawsuit now.

[Brett]

Put a bag of seed called Animal Husband into another horse. You saw the. He was going to the farm. He's in eighth grade. Why'd you jerk a horse? You know how insecure this kid is about his penis. As it go through changes and you got to look at a horse dick. What did you do that for? Want to teach him about animal husbandry? They're. They're 13. They're not going to. The only thing you're going to remember is that they just started that themselves. That's a story. Jerking off on the side of the 87 coming back from Pace. And I got stories. I got good ones on the motel floor. Motel floor was prom night. Well, my date slept, but the one that I.

[Toledo]

How many people in the room?

[Brett]

One. Just one.

[Brady]

Oh, 50.

[Brett]

Scrambled porn. Yeah, 50 or 60. I'm like, I'm doing this. She's not putting out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, India just emailed, said, John's not ugly. He's good looking for a white guy.

[Brett]

All right, calm down. Oh, India. Yeah. Okay. Settle her down there.

[Brady]

India.

[Brett]

Don't you start in with me. Going to start throwing. Throwing barbs back at you for A white guy. How ugly are white guys to you?

[Toledo]

Come on.

[Brett]

That could be. I don't know. We've got India on the phone. Let's hear India. This one says toledo's got great stories. Here is my top five from Toledo's Tide five. You got that racist parrot story? Yep. Fan.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great one.

[Brett]

Fantastic story. Whore. Grandma. You turned a woman gay.

[Toledo]

I did.

[Brett]

Gay son. This was. This one says gay son. That's not fair. Hey, hey, hey. His lack of a dad. Yeah. It's a story again.

[Toledo]

That's down.

[Brett]

It's not a good 5.

[Toledo]

Find the right room for that one.

[Brett]

Here's the tight five with that. We're Abbott and Costello there.

[Toledo]

Okay?

[Brett]

Because you start telling the story of your dad and then I break into the stern and start doing baa, Bastard. And then. Then they're like these two passing from a basket. Yeah, yeah. I'll throw in the jokes week. And then, you know, this happened. I never met him and I'm boxing from a basket. He's the inspiration for There Will Be Blood.

[Toledo]

Kind of harsh.

[Brett]

His friend was evil about it. They're hilarious. Yeah. My friends down. You know, Anthony Paglisa wants to. Puglisi. He always do the Stephen Hawking for her. And I'm like, oh. So I'm the. I'm. I'm his little.

[Toledo]

Right.

[Brett]

You know that. What kind of monkeys do the symbols?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Capuchin.

[Brett]

What do they call those things? The organ grinder.

[Toledo]

There you go.

[Brett]

He's gonna get the money and I'm gonna do the performing. So I wander over and I usually say something quite vulgar as Stephen Hawking. The girls laughed and then Anthony is like, daisy, he's funny. And we got a tight five.

[Toledo]

Don't forget the racist parrot. Has a. Has an end story. Remember the pimp kid that was. That was coming to the house and he turned into a pimp?

[Brett]

He went to jail.

[Toledo]

He went to jail.

[Brett]

Died. Toledo's got the tightest of all five. See? And he's. Ugly girls need these kind of things. Pretty girls. You need to borrow stuff. You know what? Do like Kramer did in Seinfeld and buy the stories.

[Toledo]

There you go.

[Brett]

Pretty girls today. Go find an ugly girl at the office and just go. Brunhilde. What is it? Stephanie. She's very loud. Brunhilde.

[Toledo]

We could hear her downstairs.

[Brett]

Jesus Christ. Anyway, is there any way I could get you to sell some of your life stories? I haven't developed a personality and I'm aging out. I still want to look pretty and Be interesting. It's hard because they've never tried that before. It's got to be tough being beautiful. I can't even relate. I have no idea. Let me just walk in a room and everybody's like, whatever she says is great. Whatever he says is awesome.

[Toledo]

And people gravitate toward you at first.

[Brett]

And then you know, that's what you're seeing.

[Toledo]

You got to get it, got to keep it going.

[Brett]

If you're just pretty, we'll get used to that. You got to have some angles there. So back to Wendy. Don't yell at me. Wendy, go get your liposuction. That was a good idea.

[Toledo]

So does Bill Belichick's Jordan have her experience now?

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Toledo]

Like, is her start now?

[Brett]

No. He keeps saying she's an old soul, but I think you say that for the first couple years until her skills.

[John Holmberg]

Make her feel better.

[Brett]

He doesn't have any good stories, but he doesn't care at this point. He's not looking for long term because he has no long term. But Max, he's like eight years, right?

[Toledo]

Oof.

[Brett]

Her worst nightmare is that Belichick bleeds into his 90s and she sticks around through all that. And then she's got to re enter the world at 40. But she's got Belichicks, though. It'll help her.

[John Holmberg]

That's just it.

[Brett]

Yeah, Yeah. I think she's got personnel. I think she's got moxie. Belichick's chick's got a little push on her.

[Toledo]

We're not talking about that.

[Brett]

Yeah. When she starts when she just stepped in. And I got this to Bill Belichick, like, you calm down. I'll take it over from here. And he's like, yeah, that makes sense. There's something, A, it's magic down south, and B, and. And that's the thing about a 70 year old man. He's tired of the stories. He's back. He's back to square one. I just want the pretty back. I don't care about your stories. It's too hard cultivating through all your nonsense. Tell good stories. Rochelle says, I've been thinking about this for years because you've talked about it before. I've been thinking about my stories, John. Remind me to tell you the one about what I have in common with Bill Belichick and his girlfriend. Also about the time Chris Hansen interviewed my ex husband. Oh, I'm totally involved. You can be overweight and hideous. I'm gonna sit just my hands on my chin. Just go. Hands what else?

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

I heard one yesterday. The guy that has so I was walking the dogs, go to the green belt and I go by Carl's farm. Oh, he's the guy that has the misfit farms, the rescue animals. And how long have I known that guy? Or gone by bringing Kirby by there for years and years. He comes rolling up in his golf cart, painted black is blaring out of there.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then he's like, he goes, that's my kind of music. I had no idea. And he's like, yeah, I went up to I graduated in 67 and I drove up to San Francisco. I thought I'd pick up some hippie chicks, but they wanted nothing to do with me because I was wearing blue jeans.

[Brett]

Sure.

[Brady]

So I come back down and I'm with my buddy and Prescott. We go to a bar and this guy comes up my everybody has a vest on. And the guy comes up to him, says, hey, where'd you get that vest? And he's like, what store did you get it at? He goes, I didn't get that store. I made it. He made it. Could I buy it off ya? He's like, no. And he looks at the guy, holy crap, that's Steve McQueen.

[Brett]

Steve McQueen tried to buy his coat.

[Brady]

Tried to buy his vest, and he says, no, I'm not gonna sell it to you. But you know what? Here you go.

[Brett]

See, that story was horrible until the end.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I was like, where are we going?

[Brady]

Gives it to Steve McQueen. McQueen goes, I want to give you. I want to pay for this. He's like, no, absolutely not.

[Brett]

He just gave it to Steve McQueen.

[Brady]

Steve McQueen. McQueen says it was a music festival going on. How long are you gonna be here? We'll be here all day. Three hours later, McQueen comes back and he's riding up on a Harley. And he says to him, hey, you know how to ride this thing? The guy's like, yeah, I got a bike I can ride. And he goes, hands him the title and the keys. Here you go. Signs the gas tank for the guy. The guy still has the bike up.

[Brett]

He gave him a motorcycle jacket. God damn it. That's a hell of a story for men in their 50s. Plus, you can't use that one on young people. But God damn it, if Bullet signs your motorcycle and gives you good Christ. That's pretty good stuff right there. Steve McQueen handing you stuff just for a jean jacket.

[Brady]

And I was looking, I was trying to figure out they're filming a western up there.

[Brett]

Yeah, who cares? It's pretty awesome. That's like Jack Nicholson's. I wanted to buy your shoes. Are you interested? Sure. What size are you? I'm a nine and a half. What are those? I'm a 12. Sold. And I want to take you outside and sell you my car for nothing new. That would be phenomenal. Yeah, that's a good. The story, honestly, beginning terrible. I was going nowhere, and you're like, but because it's Brady, I trust that this is going to have an ending on it that's going to be worth it. I know, I know. But when an ugly guy starts telling a story and you get a little bored. Give him time. Give him time. Nothing worse. My buddy Stebbings just interrupts your story constantly with questions. Can you not follow the bouncing ball? Just run with me for a second. I'm ugly. My story's gonna be good. If I was good looking, you'd have every right to interrupt me. But I'm an ugly man, and I tell stories like an ugly man, which means they're great. Broads are the same. Rochelle. This is why women can't do it. She's the one who just emailed me and said she's got good stories about Chris Hansen, her husband and stuff. And I'm like, you could be. What I said was, you could be overweight and hideous. And I would have my hands on my saying. Well, then she emails back because she's all in her emotion. She goes, I'm overweight and hideous. Oh, for Christ's sake. This is why we don't talk to you. I said, you could be. You're not Michelle. You're a beautiful lady. But for crying out loud. You get my point, right? So much easier being a dude. So I just said, man, that story, Brady's story. I even told him in the middle of it. Your story was terrible to the end, but I trust you because you're ugly. And he didn't fire back. What do you mean? You can't even say that. That story Rochelle was telling could be told by a fat person without her worrying about how she looks. You're all in your emotions, ladies. Get out of your way. A tight five. That's what we're shooting for today. A tight five. This guy says, I gotta work on some of mine, but I got good starts. One story I tell grew up in a house where my parents got a great deal on, because prior to us getting it, the owner of the house killed his wife and then killed himself inside. My dad got a deal. Great story. You must be hideous looking. Second story. My grandpa may or may not have been in the CIA. He worked for the army for 45 years and never told anybody where he was half the time. Speculation stories are always fun, because then the group that you're telling it to can. If they're entertaining, they can fan fiction. The end of your story. Finally, my third story is my lesbian aunt who's been with her partner for 35 years and my whole family still won't admit it. They just call her her friend. Solid, Greg. Great work. Good type five. You must be horrendous. Here's Brett's top five stories. What do you write in the book Number two? Who's asking number three? I said, who the is asking Number four? Where do you get the nerve to ask me that? Number five? I never heard of them. Elder Brett's tight five. And I don't even say it's five stories. I'm saying the tight five minutes that you can give it to him. Steal from us.

[Brady]

Every once in a while he goes, you remember in Casino?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Oh, if somebody says, well, I. I was on a set of Casino Bris. Tell me everything about that day. Start with what you ate and then move on throughout the Day. Did you meet Rickles? Yeah. Tight five. Get on that. Steal from us to pretend some of the stories we've told are yours. Take Brady's Andy Lesstock, serial killer, crazy friend in the neighborhood stories. Make them yours. We should offer a service in the podcast where you click off onto a thing that says need a tight five. Here's 12 evergreen stories that anybody can tell. Tell the story about how when I bent down and had that ruler in my mouth and your dad thought. My dad thought I was gay. That was measuring depth. But I wasn't. I just had an accident with a ruler in my mouth and chopped up the back of my throat and had to go to the hospital. It was not a good day when.

[Brady]

Your dad vacationed in Cuba in 55, 56.

[Brett]

Exactly. Think of that. And you didn't even think of that. Pete from Chicago, we made that a fantastic story. You didn't ever think that your dad was part of the revolution until you got with us. That makes it a good story. Now you got all those avenues to go to down. Think of how good that story got now. Because now when you tell it, you're like, and then we don't know. He might have been part of the overthrow in Cuba. He didn't talk about it. You don't want to say that about your.

[Brady]

Put the two. You know, I'm like, you met Pete from Chicago, never had a last name. And they hit off and he set up Pete with a game with Jack Nicklaus, a golf game.

[Brett]

And the next thing you know, he's in Cuba during the revolution and he never talked about it. But the. The timeline doesn't add up. Your dad was part of the revolution. Great stuff. Get a tight five. Get a tight five. Thank you, Wendy, for turning a certain age and then getting really weird about, like, your body and Rachel's. Rachel's letter on Monday is going to help a lot of women. I think it made a lot of sense to sit back and again, I looked at it. It's, you know how much money it is annually worldwide. Women's cosmetics, 13 billion dollar industries.

[John Holmberg]

Now some of them need it.

[Brett]

And that's just like the Walgreens and stuff. We're not talking about Botox or that kind of thing. That's plastic surgery retail. That's just sales of Sephora and hair products and $13 billion for just the Walgreens aisle, basically. It's not like Walgreens pulling it all in on their own. But you know what I'm saying? Saying. And it's their goal to never age. And then they get mad at us for liking what young women look like. But that's what they all try to do. So, Wendy, keep trying, but recognize it's not. We're not angry at you. Don't be angry at us, John.

[John Holmberg]

My lady's a pretty solid trailer park six.

[Brett]

That's good.

[John Holmberg]

Worst storyteller ever, but cooks really well.

[Brett]

Yeah, see, he developed a skill. She developed skill. It's like, you can have a lame husband, but he's. He's handy around the house. You're like, well, that makes up for an awful lot of his farting. Gotta have good stories. Gotta be. Gotta have a skill. I don't have any skills. I better have some story. I better be entertaining. Is the laughs better keep coming? Because once they stop, I got nothing else to offer. I better be goddamn hilarious every time that TV's on. Making fun of whatever's on there or adding to it or just keeping my mouth trapped shut when it's supposed to be. Because when it comes down to it, when the power's out, it's time to figure out how to start the generator. I don't know how to plug that in. I'm afraid I'm gonna blow the whole house.

[Brady]

It's gonna take a minute, it's gonna.

[Brett]

Take more than that. And it's probably gonna be a couple of accidents along the way somewhere. Another. The car will get dented. I don't know how, but it will also. Nothing you need to worry about anymore with this because we're done. Marilyn Manson got us yesterday. Yep. That song we played is AI. We weren't sure, but we're like, no way. It is AI's what Marilyn Manson could write today. And it is, if you ask me, Marilyn Manson's third best song. And it's not him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Can we put that in rotation?

[Brett]

Sure. Regardless, why not?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Who owns it? Keep, keep in mind what we heard yesterday with the Marilyn Manson thing. We have not had a response for a new song like that in years.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

The emails went crazy. I played it twice in a row. I'm like, I can't get enough of this. My emails went nuts. The text went crazy. Everybody loved this song, Unreal by Marilyn Manson. We found out later for sure. We fought it. We were trying to find. It is an AI song. Right. Imagine your 3 year old child developing the skill in his 36 months to do something better than you've ever heard someone else do. Because that's what AI is. It's three. It's brand New. Remember when the Internet was new in three years time? We didn't see that. AI in three years.

[Brady]

In three years it has a tight five.

[Brett]

And not only has a tight five, it's got like Grammy winning change the genre type five. This is fake. Yes, it is. It's inhuman. It's called unreal. We couldn't figure it out yesterday. It's like, it sounds familiar, but it's brand new. It's got the. It's not real.

[John Holmberg]

He needs to hire those dudes immediately.

[Brett]

It's called there are no dudes to hire.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, well, the guys that put it together in the AI system, somebody had a program it, tell it to write a Marilyn Manson writer.

[Brett]

Marilyn Manson, Right.

[John Holmberg]

That's. They need to hire him, them guys.

[Brett]

Why? They're talentless. Put it in yourself. You don't need them.

[Brady]

It was AI that wrote it, right?

[Brett]

He just. Some dude put in write me a brand new Marilyn Manson song. And maybe you put in beats per minute and a theme. Reality is a suggestion. The words tell you the whole time. None of this is real. Unbelievable. Come on. So we got duped yesterday. Not necessarily, but people still want to hear it. I mean, it's crazy, but there's. There's where we are. Here's the first day of it. Here's the first day of, okay, it's better. Here's the first day of not being afraid that we are outmatched. Here's the first day of saying, my favorite artists can keep going. And that should be something. As humans. Here we go. That we think to ourselves, we can't let it be better, but it's going to be. And it's going to be more convenient and more entertaining and faster and easier than what we can do. Holmberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. That right there, at least for me, from my perspective, is the first time that we've had AI say, I got this. And I said, you do? I like playing with it. That's the first time it brought something to me that said, you can't beat me. The first time. Not that I wasn't aware that it wasn't faster and smarter than me, but that's the first entertainment moment where I'm like, oh, yeah, it's completely unnecessary.

[Brady]

Stop me.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's. It got us. Isn't that crazy? I. And I like it better. So I'm going to acquiesce. I'm not going to sit and fight it. I'm not going to go full Lars on this thing. And say, we've got to stop this if that's what it can do. That's going to bring joy to me faster and better than people can. And that's really all we're looking for as humans, is where how fast and how good is it? Because I'll give up all my freedoms and stuff like that for convenience. We've proven that. And anybody who fights against that's crazy because you're going to. You know what you're going to do to yell at me. You're going email me. You're not going to write me a letter. You're going to drop it off yourself. So you know what I'm talking about when you say, oh, I'm mad now. So I will digitally email him. He'll get it immediately. That's convenient. You've already done that a few times. And by doing so, you gave up your digital thumbprint to an entire world you don't understand while you're going to bark at me that I would never give up to the AI Blah. No, you already have. I would never give up freedoms for convenience. You already have. When you email me to tell me you haven't. You already have. Especially if the bottom it says sent from my iPhone. You gave up convenience. You gave up freedom for convenience. Tell me one person that's read the I. The Apple Agreement. You gave up your freedom for convenience in a lot of ways, and it's just going to keep happening. But you know what? It's not that bad.

[Brady]

I read a couple of words. I agree.

[Brett]

Yeah, I saw the. I saw that.

[John Holmberg]

Where.

[Brett]

Where is scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Jesus. Disclaimer, scroll, scroll. You know how dumb we are? Our frustration with agreeing to the Apple agreement is how long it takes to scroll. That's how addicted to convenience we are. Oh, how many pages is this thing that puts us off? We're not reading it. We don't know what's in there. Oh, finally, I'm at the bottom. I agree. Click. I agree. I'm not a robot. That's a streetlight. All of that stuff.

[Brady]

Tough enough with a long text.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. Even the phone's kind of like. You've noticed the new iPhone thing when you somebody types you a long text. Even my phone's like Chris Catero saying something about the Steelers. It just gives you a synopsis. Like, for Christ's sake, are we on that again? It's even with me. Like, let's just shorten everything. Yeah, we gave up. We gave up a lot of freedom.

[Brady]

Keeps it to A tight five lines.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, yeah, try to. You try not to over text. Chris and I go nuts about Steelers Talk. Our texts are long, but even the phone will tell you I don't want to hear from anybody screaming about, well, I would never give up my freedoms for. No way. You already did it. You're emailing me. You did it. It's done. Not all of them, but if Marilyn Manson's new song is that goddamn good and it's not humans, do we fight the robots or do we welcome them with open arms?

[John Holmberg]

Now I want to hear it again.

[Brett]

I do too, because it's great. So Brett and I are on the page of bowing to our overlords.

[Brady]

What will be interesting is original music.

[Brett]

Don't need it. It's gonna. Who's gonna create. Let me ask you this.

[Brady]

An original, unique sound.

[Brett]

Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully.

[Brady]

Maybe it should be able to.

[Brett]

It'll find it.

[Brady]

Because I was thinking of human elements.

[Brett]

Won't disappear. No, but nobody's going to nurture that. Look what happened when the Internet showed up. Record companies stopped nurturing bands. It became about, how fast do you have one hit? We don't care about anything else you've got. Then record companies became unnecessary and Justin Bieber showed up and said, I'll just do this on YouTube. And he showed up. And Billie Eilish, she. Everything she did was without a record company until there was one involved every. Like Ocean Eyes, that first song that I remember came out. It was a. Just in her basement on the Internet. It. And it went viral. Then record companies didn't know what to do because it's like they can do it without us. What record company, if that made them stop spending money on humans, is going to spend money to nurture Brady Eilish for 5 years? When I can just have AI do it now and I'll have that. This Marilyn Manson thing. You tell me Marilyn Manson's management wouldn't go, get it out there. We did this in three minutes. Marilyn, go write me a new song. You're not getting this. But I just did it. So the record companies have got to put their arms around this because this is where the money is. They don't have to pay for anything. There's no touring unless Maryland goes. Hey, the AI songs, can we. Can I play them live now?

[Brady]

It'll be. Yeah, but a lot of those instruments, you won't need them.

[Brett]

Well, no, I mean, well, but it would still be cool for us as we age out of the live performances to say, well, I saw Marilyn doing all of his AI Stuff songs. He wrote an AI album, and who knows? And there's the other thing, is that all these artists that are coming up with songs, they're using it because if. If I was. It's steroids. It's like steroids in baseball. If I'm hitting 12 home runs a year and I take steroids and it's going to add six, that's like $3 million more on my next contract. You think Marilyn Manson's not looking at this, going, oh, my God, I haven't had a massive hit like this in a long time. I'm doing it. I'm going to borrow AI. I'm going to knock this out and we'll record it ourselves. That's it. Why wouldn't you? But is it cheating or is it legit? After that song yesterday, I realized as exactly as a fan. Doesn't matter. I'm entertained. I enjoyed that better than I would trying to like what you put out. Phenomenal. But this conversation in 10 years will be hilarious to look back at. But as it stands right now, yesterday was the first day where I just kind of sunk in my chair. Like, it knocked us down. Like now. Now it. Right. Not just writes songs, but it writes, like, much better original songs. It's not joking. It's like, what do you want? Watch this. I can understand where you'd listen to it and go, wow, that sounds a lot like Marilyn Manson. But that's Marilyn's best song in a while, maybe ever. When's the last time I played a song two times in a row. I think it was Death Magnetic. When I first heard Metallica's thing, like, that's pretty awesome. Let me hear that again, see if I like it. Yesterday, I couldn't get enough of it. If I was in the car, I'd have hit the back button. The second thing ended, just put it on a loop. I'm going until I get home. So spooky. Also something you need to worry about. China showed a video yesterday. I was watching the news this morning. China's got an idea that I think we can thank Darth Vader for. They don't have it ready yet, but their new plane can launch planes. It's an aircraft carrier that flies.

[Brady]

Like from the Avengers.

[Brett]

Right? It's movies. They don't have the technology. And the American, you know, I can't do this. That's crazy. It's China. They're working furiously at this and they. There's billions of them. So they like math and they like technology. And it might not be good. It might be temu. But if that thing works for like an hour and a half, we're behind the eight ball there. But they started to show the. The mock up of it. And this thing just flying around in space or in the air. And jets can land on it and then they lock down. I'm like, that's the neatest thing I've ever seen. And then the jets they have are like Harriers. They can't lock, like.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

Yeah, you know, they kind of float down on top of it. And Xi Jinping is checking us out. And then all of his, like, all. I don't know who's who. I gotta be honest with you. I'm watching this thing. It was carbon copy. I was AI. It was carbon copy. Asian dude ball haircut next to an Asian dude with a bowl haircut. Next. And they're all ministers of something or other. Defense, foreign affairs. Killing people in Taiwan. I don't know what they're up to, but they had that video role. They all had their arms crossed. Like, yeah, yeah, we're getting this. We're working a lot on this. I'm like, oh, if that thing goes up, I'm gonna. I want one.

[Brady]

Just trying to think what, you know, the advantage of the defense as far as, military wise, you think it'd be easier to maybe out. I guess one's in the water, the other's in the air.

[Brett]

I'll tell you this. The. You ever see a scorpion with babies on its back? It's that you might be able to kill the mom, but you got a problem on your hands when it just goes and everything leaves. And now you get 40 or 50 of these things firing away. It's just a refueling center. Yeah, it can float up. It's really cool.

[John Holmberg]

It's like Independence Day where they have the mothership and all the mother little ones just started coming out.

[Brady]

They keep them on the ship. Now you can be.

[Brett]

I want to be alive for this. I want to be alive to see this. I want one of those to float by and land at Papago. Choppers on it and stuff. Have you ever seen an aircraft carrier in person?

[Brady]

An old one?

[Brett]

Oh, my God. I was at Fleet Week in New York once. Oh, my God, huge. They got runways on them. Think of that.

[Brady]

They hook them.

[Brett]

The tail hook is the one. But that's a Runway I saw.

[Brady]

I don't know, it was yesterday or day before. Talking about, our carriers are now landing the cargo plane.

[Brett]

Yeah, we get a C. One of those C17. Yeah. Those gigantic super planes can hit one of our boats. You see the video yet to find it? The Chinese airship. Yeah, see if I can find it. I was watching BBC News this morning. I'm trying. Hey, Brett, how many scoops do you put in a coffee maker to make coffee?

[John Holmberg]

One and a half, two.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. I'm way overdoing it. I'm filling half of the filter.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that's a little. That's a little rough. Yeah.

[Brett]

Tastes great. That's too much. Can I use that?

[Brady]

Twice over kills it.

[Brett]

Makes it stronger. I like strong coffee.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then you're fine. I mean, there's no like set number or the bagging. Well, that's what we do here.

[Brett]

That's. You know, I'm just now trying to.

[John Holmberg]

But it's.

[Brett]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's only going like maybe halfway up to the filter in this one.

[Brett]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to. I'm trying to get into coffee and I start my day with it. Now I hate it. It's terrible.

[John Holmberg]

Always hated that.

[Brett]

Oh, it tastes like garbage. It's basically a milkshake at this point. I just take some fat free creamer and pour it. I don't know how to make it. I don't think I'm doing it right. But it works either way. We're all doomed. AI and the Chinese together. Forget it.

[John Holmberg]

My friend made it with the cow.

[Brett]

Yeah. Ye. I want to party with you, madman. You are mad, man. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[John Holmberg]

All right, wake up song. Get my computer to figure this thing out.

[Brett]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

All right. On the list. Talking about hockey earlier. Eddie Murphy, Boogie in the butt. RuPaul Supermodel.

[Brett]

Why did they want boogie in the butt? Because of the boy aquarium.

[John Holmberg]

Boy aquarium?

[Brett]

Yeah, silly stp.

[John Holmberg]

Dead and bloated. We all know why. Motley Crue Sound Garden Godsmack for you Fest. Mad season disturbed. 7 Dust, new song, Slayer, Pantera. Five minutes for our top five there.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Get a tight five. Pantera.

[Brady]

That.

[Brett]

That's the. I like that.

[John Holmberg]

Pantera's five GNR out to get me.

[Brady]

For the new 7 Dust is legit.

[Brett]

I don't know. The song's called Is this Real? So I don't. I say, yeah, let's go with Pantera's five minutes for your tight five. We've been trying to encourage you. Get a tight five together. That's what you. That's when you put. A comedian's goal is to get a tight five, hit the open mic with a tight five, and from there you'll go. But that's true of all of us, especially you beautiful people. If you're beautiful, you got a great ass and nice cans and your face is pretty. But you don't have a tight five, people will get tired of looking at you eventually. You got to bring something else to the party, like Wendy, who's got to reschedule her liposuction and get out there to Sono Bello. Two things to worry about, Wendy. Tight five and tighten that tummy. Pantera will tell you. Five minutes alone. Do you have a good type five that keeps you from getting your ass handed to you by filling the boys. It's Pantera to wake him up. Go get him. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said, fully erected.