02-06-23 - BR - MON - School In Trouble For Chicken/Watermelon Lunch For Black History Month - Man Has Cancer Treatment And Suddenly Speaks w/An Accent - Cracker Barrel Offering Free Food For Proposing On Vday And Craig Meets Toledo's Ex

Summary

Summary of Holmberg's Morning Sickness Podcast Episode - February 6, 2023

Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogart, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: Craig Gass
Release Date: February 6, 2023

---

1. Super Bowl Weekend Chaos in Sedona

John Holmberg opens the episode by sharing concerns about an upcoming trip to Sedona scheduled from February 9th to 12th, coinciding with Super Bowl weekend. He anticipates severe traffic and overcrowding issues that could disrupt their plans.

"You're going to sit on that road into Sedona for two or three hours. There's going to be no movement. Sedona is already crowded. I can't imagine what it's going to be like this weekend. Friday and Saturday. Insane."
(01:20)

Craig Gass concurs, speculating that the weekend will be particularly hectic until Saturday.

---

2. Brady Bogart's Brady Report

Brady Bogart introduces his segment, the Brady Report, covering various news and promotions. The first highlight is a promotional event by Hooters, encouraging listeners to visit for hot wings, cold drinks, and a chance to win a 70-inch UHD smart television.

"You can make plans now to hang out with the Hooters girls for hot wings, cold drinks. Plus, you can watch on a 70 inch UHD smart television. Win it."
(03:08)

The promotion requires attendees to be present to claim the prize, adding an element of exclusivity.

---

3. National Chopsticks Day and Fun Facts

On National Chopsticks Day, Craig Gass shares interesting trivia about Jenga and the historical feud between Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Harry Houdini over the existence of magical powers.

"The woman who invented it was born in Ghana and came up with it when she lived there. And she wouldn't let Hasbro change the name when they bought it from her."
(03:21)

"The guy who created Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, was friends with Harry Houdini, but they wound up hating each other after a fight over whether Houdini had magical powers."
(03:38)

The discussion becomes lively as the hosts humorously reenact the argument, showcasing their camaraderie.

---

4. Pope's Controversial Twitter Post

Craig Gass brings up a recent incident where the Pope's official Twitter account posted and then deleted a message that appeared to praise the middle finger, leading to confusion and debate.

"When he got to praising the middle finger, it was all very innocent, but he wasn't really telling Catholics to flip each other off."
(05:12)

The hosts mock the situation, debating the intent and impact of such a tweet, while John Holmberg adds sarcastic commentary on the Catholic Church's handling of finger gestures.

---

5. Innovative Smart Diapers

Craig Gass introduces a technological advancement from Penn State University—a smart diaper equipped with sensors that notify parents via push notifications when it's time for a change.

"Scientists at Penn State University have created a smart diaper with a built in sensor that's able to send parents push notification on their phone when their child's diaper needs to be changed."
(06:05)

The hosts humorously critique the necessity of such technology, debating traditional methods versus modern solutions.

---

6. Accent Syndrome After Cancer Treatment

A guest shares a case of a man diagnosed with prostate cancer who developed an uncontrollable Irish accent—a rare phenomenon known as "accent syndrome."

"This dude from New York was diagnosed with prostate cancer 20 months ago, and now one of the signs or symptoms is he's got an uncontrollable Irish accent."
(10:45)

The hosts compare it to similar cases where individuals develop unexpected accents following head injuries, blending concern with light-hearted banter.

---

7. Cracker Barrel's Valentine's Day Proposal Contest

Craig Gass announces a Valentine's Day promotion by Cracker Barrel, offering couples a chance to win free food for a year if they propose at the restaurant.

"Cracker Barrel has launched a contest. If you propose over Valentine's Day, you have a chance to win free food for a year."
(17:56)

The hosts discuss various strategies and the potential social dynamics of participating in the contest, injecting humor into the promotional segment.

---

8. Wild America: Shark Attacks Compilation

Brady Bogart's Wild America segment covers recent shark attacks, including a tragic incident involving a 16-year-old girl at Swan River in Perth, attacked by a bull shark while on a wave runner.

"She was on the wave runner. She stopped, jumped in the water, thought she saw a pair of dolphins. She wanted to get in there, get closer to them."
(12:06)

Further discussions include another harrowing account of an 8-year-old boy bitten by a blacktip shark while fishing, emphasizing the unpredictability of such encounters.

---

9. MMP Guns Advertisement

A promotional segment highlights MMP Guns, showcasing their extensive selection of firearms, ammunition, and custom services.

"MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned."
(15:47)

Special discounts on pre-owned and new firearms are mentioned, along with the introduction of MMP Guns Customs for personalized firearm enhancements.

---

10. South Jersey Bank Robbery Breakdown

Craig Gass narrates a detailed account of a bank robbery in South Jersey where the perpetrator dropped a Corona bottle containing DNA evidence, leading to his swift capture.

"He bent over to get a pile of the cash, and that's when the Corona bottle tumbled out of his jacket. Scrambled grab the cash, left the DNA."
(16:50)

The segment underscores the importance of seemingly minor details in solving high-stakes crimes.

---

11. Listener Videos and Dark Web Content

Dick Toledo introduces a segment featuring videos sourced from listeners and the Dark Web, presenting a mix of amusing and disturbing clips. The hosts react with a combination of humor and shock, highlighting the unpredictable nature of user-submitted content.

"Videos all come from the Dark Web."
(25:37)

Examples include a crude wrestling match and a construction mishap, demonstrating the variety of unexpected footage shared by the audience.

---

12. Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the day's discussions, encouraging listener engagement, and promoting upcoming segments. They maintain their signature blend of humor, sarcasm, and candid interactions, leaving listeners entertained and informed.

---

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg:
  "I'm not a parent."
  (06:26)

• Craig Gass:
  "Happy National Chopsticks Day."
  (03:10)

• Brady Bogart:
  "Andy Dufresne would never touch a woman."
  (28:50)

• John Holmberg:
  "We got to consummate the proposal. That's how gay marriage works."
  (20:23)

• Craig Gass:
  "He left the DNA."
  (16:50)

---

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a diverse array of topics, from light-hearted promotions and trivia to serious discussions on social issues and unexpected phenomena. The hosts' dynamic interactions and humor provide an engaging listening experience for both regular and new audiences.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogart]

Call Doug Hopkins 1-800-sale now.

[Michael]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's get right to business. Craig Gass is our special guest today. And change. Yeah. For the rest of the week probably. I got this email from a guy that says before we get to the Braver, for two months back, my best friend says, we're going to Sedona February 9th through 12th for your birthday. Because my birthday is the 9th. Who towns who turns down a free room at the Hyatt in Sedona? Then I realized the super bowl weekend, he didn't think about it when we booked it. It is going to be a problem. You're going to sit on that road into Sedona for two or three hours. There's going to be no movement. Sedona is already crowded. I can't imagine what it's going to be like this weekend. Friday and Saturday. Insane.

[Craig Gass]

You think the weekend will be? Oh, it's gonna be the worst. Up until Saturday. All heading out Awful.

[John Holmberg]

It's awful. If people from Philly are this close, they're going to see. They're gonna go up to Sedona. Oh, it's great. Everything's red. I need a glass of water. It's damn Philadelphia. Why you want to be rude to them?

[Brady Bogart]

Do they have a number of. How many people are coming to Phoenix?

[John Holmberg]

Well, not well. They always say it's like 150,000 for the Super Bowl. That's what cities always talk about. That's the influx of people. And however many go, that's gotta be more than that. We got Phoenix open, too.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So this is. It's gonna be a nutty week there, Craig. You got a lot to sneak into, my friend. A lot. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at Hooters. And of course, it's the big game week over at Hooters. You can make plans now to hang out with the Hooters girls for hot wings, cold drinks. Plus, you can watch on a 70 inch UHD smart television. Win it. How about that? You got to be there to win it, though. Must be present to collect that giant television. They're trying to give you a good time and a TV over at Hooters. And that's just what you need to do. Head on over there and watch at the delightful Hooters and say hi to Brittany and all the girls, because I'm sure there'll be a Brittany. They're positive of it. Brady, report it.

[Craig Gass]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Craig Gass]

Happy National Chopsticks Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, right in time for the balloon. I shot that balloon down Saturday. An hour later, I wanted to shoot another one down.

[Craig Gass]

A couple of basis fun facts Jenga means to build in Swahili. The woman who invented it was born in Ghana and came up with it when she lived there. And she wouldn't let Hasbro change the name when they bought it from her.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. She put her foot down.

[Craig Gass]

Yep. The guy who created Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, was friends with Harry Houdini, but they wound up hating each other after a fight over whether Houdini had magical powers. Houdini swore he didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Doyle was convinced of it.

[Craig Gass]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogart]

What a funny guy to be in a fight with.

[John Holmberg]

Houdini.

[Brady Bogart]

You're being a dick.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, where'd you go? You asshole, man.

[Brady Bogart]

You dick.

[John Holmberg]

Especially if you're trying to say because you know he'd be a jerk about it. You. I know you've got magic powers, Harry. I know you do. God damn it, that's proof right there. Where'd you go? I'm just messing with you, Arthur. I don't have magic. That was a trick.

[Craig Gass]

Look, I'm floating now.

[Brady Bogart]

I'm inside. Look at that. You're.

[John Holmberg]

You're deep inside me, Harry, and I did not allow that. Look, Artie, it's a trick. I'm not really in there. You just think I'm in you. I can feel it, Harry.

[Craig Gass]

Last week, the Pope's Watch this sticky fluid.

[John Holmberg]

Harry, you finished, didn't you? That's a trick.

[Craig Gass]

It's invisible ink. Put it on your face.

[Brett]

Put it on your face.

[John Holmberg]

I just toss pudding at you. Taste it, Harry, you're getting close to me hating you. One more time, I'm gonna punch you squirrel in the guts. Wouldn't it be funny if Arthur Doyle was the one that ended him with a punch to the guts for all of his trickery?

[Craig Gass]

Last week, the Pope's official Twitter account posted a delete and then deleted it. But it was praising the fingers on your hand. Each one symbolizes something.

[John Holmberg]

Who did this?

[Craig Gass]

The Pope.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Craig Gass]

When he got. When he got to praising the middle finger, it was all very innocent, but he wasn't really telling Catholics to flip each other off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, which is, by the way, the least harmful thing Catholic priests have done with their fingers over the last year.

[Craig Gass]

The part says the middle finger, which is higher than any other others, reminds us of something essential. Honesty. To be honest, means not getting entangled in the snares of corruption. And so this cabbie from New York says, I'm using what the Pope gave me by his instructions.

[John Holmberg]

Using the middle finger pointing to God for you. Thanks, Pope. Yeah. Finger advice from the Catholic Church. Probably. They just need to settle on that one.

[Brett]

What, a coffee table book?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now it's the time for finger advice from the Pope. Oh, God, make him quiet.

[Craig Gass]

Scientists at Penn State University have created a smart diaper with a built in sensor that's able to send parents push notification on their phone when their child's diaper needs to be changed.

[John Holmberg]

They can't tell as parents.

[Craig Gass]

Oh, you don't have to put your nose down there. You used to have to sometimes. Or you give it a feel. See on it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not a parent.

[Craig Gass]

There's a low.

[John Holmberg]

You're not a parent.

[Brady Bogart]

Never been one. I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

If I think you pooped, that's enough for me. I'm not Gonna confirm it with scent tests.

[Craig Gass]

A lot of times, you know, just look at their face. That facial expression.

[John Holmberg]

I'll take the diaper off and look and go, oh, I was wrong, and then put it right back on. But I am not putting my nose next to the anus of a child again. Advice the pope gave me.

[Brady Bogart]

You can always tell with a facial expression.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Craig Gass]

Oh, yeah. They got poop face.

[Brady Bogart]

They call it the Eric.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I was waiting for that. It is not a free for all because there's. You've been. You've been missing since that dismissal. That's enough. You got yours in now. Don't. We don't need that storm.

[Brady Bogart]

Are you ready, bro? Are you ready? You ready to do this? Are you overthinking it?

[John Holmberg]

That's enough out of you. We've moved forward. Let's be grown ups. Despite it.

[Craig Gass]

Aramark is a company that does food services, including stadiums. They also do schools.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait, hold on. Before you do this, Brett, you leave the room.

[Brett]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Just leave the room for this. You can't. No, he can't be here for this.

[Brady Bogart]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

He can't be here for this. He just can't. You can just go stand in the house. Just go stand outside and wait for the delay. Watch this. Listen to him laugh eight seconds after this happens.

[Brady Bogart]

Okay?

[Craig Gass]

Covering up any headline.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't. Don't look, but Brett can't be in the room for this. Brett. Brett happens to find anything that rhymes with something racist to be the funniest thing in the world. If it even teeters on racism. And it's not, he'll start laughing.

[Craig Gass]

He had to hold back on Chopsticks Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This headline will end him, and it'll make him look terrible, but you'll hear him in the hallway. I guarantee it.

[Craig Gass]

Aramark, you just want the headline.

[John Holmberg]

Read the headline.

[Craig Gass]

Aramark apologizes for unintentional insensitivity after serving students chicken and watermelon on the first day of Black History Month.

[John Holmberg]

Wait for it. Here comes very close. All right. You can see he just lost it in the hallway. It's a terrible, terrible thing we've got with him. He's still going. See, he finds this kind of. He's from Chicago. He's pure Italian. He comes from a place where his family laughed at everything that was almost racist.

[Craig Gass]

The school lunch in question was served to students at Nyack middle school on February 1st.

[Brady Bogart]

Nyack in New York.

[Craig Gass]

Yeah. A decision that upsets some students and.

[John Holmberg]

Parents in order to make race relations better. Can the first step be that we all love chicken and watermelon? Yeah. Can it be that it's no longer funny to people like Brett that it's just food, and food's not racist? Can we have that first step of, like. You know what, guys? Let's free the chicken and watermelon thing from a.

[Craig Gass]

And they stepped it up a little bit. It was chicken and waffles, and then watermelon was dessert.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. They were after it.

[Brady Bogart]

Chicken and waffles.

[John Holmberg]

For the first day of Black History Month, which is brought to you by Roscoe. We turned it up a notch.

[Craig Gass]

Kids, how you doing?

[John Holmberg]

I'm the new school chef for one month. We're really appealing to our base.

[Craig Gass]

Seniors at the Villages retirement community in Florida are supposedly tying loofahs to the tops of their cars to let people know they're swingers. New senior code.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. Yuck.

[Craig Gass]

Different colors are supposed to mean different things. Purple loofah, Brown.

[John Holmberg]

Brown. Brown. The brown loofah is the one. I don't want to just avoid that couple.

[Craig Gass]

The teal means you swing both ways.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Dolphins.

[Brady Bogart]

Yellow means I need to go to the bathroom.

[John Holmberg]

Yellow means diapers fall.

[Brady Bogart]

I made an accident. Yeah, I'm pulling an Eric now.

[John Holmberg]

We've talked about this. That's enough. Start bothering you.

[Craig Gass]

This dude from New York was diagnosed with prostate cancer 20 months ago, and now one of the signs or symptoms is he's got an uncontrollable Irish accent. It's the first time they've ever seen this from cancer. They call it the accent syndrome.

[John Holmberg]

It's happened to people who hit their heads and stuff. Like that one lady that bonked her head and woke up with a Scottish accent and couldn't shake.

[Brady Bogart]

People have hit their head and.

[John Holmberg]

And they have an accent or have a.

[Brady Bogart]

Your vocabulary.

[John Holmberg]

They, like, somebody hit Brady.

[Brady Bogart]

We.

[Craig Gass]

We've tried.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we've tried to bonk him a few times. It's not working.

[Craig Gass]

And now it's time for some wild.

[John Holmberg]

It would be great, though, if we hit Brady's, like, hey, I don't know what's going on here, but I've got to tell you something. I'm Irish now, and I don't know what's going on. I'm thirsty for a drink.

[Craig Gass]

Stupid article.

[Brady Bogart]

Dennis Miller material. Yeah, man, this crowd's harder to get off than Martha Stewart on a bed of sheets.

[John Holmberg]

Dirty sheets.

[Brady Bogart]

I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Still a little Brady in there. Wild America.

[Brady Bogart]

No, no, no. She's harder to get out.

[Craig Gass]

Hold on. Wait.

[Brady Bogart]

She's got the, she's hard to get off the dirty. You know Dennis Miller, right?

[John Holmberg]

You should google that.

[Byron]

That one.

[Craig Gass]

Hello my friends, it's Brady Bogart and this is your Wild Wild World. Got another fatal shark attack. 16 year old girl was on a wave runner.

[Brady Bogart]

All in celebration of black history on.

[Craig Gass]

The Swan river, which is in Perth. And she was in fresh water, most likely a bull shark.

[John Holmberg]

Ate or dead. Huh?

[Craig Gass]

She was on the wave runner. She stopped, jumped in the water, thought she saw a pair of dolphins. She wanted to get in there, get closer to them.

[John Holmberg]

Not dolphins.

[Craig Gass]

It might have been dolphins, but they scooted out of there. The bull shark came in bitter in the leg and she bled out really quick.

[John Holmberg]

And which video would you rather see? The fish video from Friday or the video? I think. Yeah, we showed Craig the fish video.

[Brady Bogart]

Yeah, shark attack.

[John Holmberg]

Shark attack. For sure, yeah.

[Brady Bogart]

I have so many questions about the fish video you sent me. So many so I didn't understand.

[Brett]

And we have a.

[John Holmberg]

It's, it's. That's a good thing because normalizing it in your brain would scare me.

[Brett]

One of the guys in our digital department is a religious guy, Mormon. And he came up to me begging me to, you got to send me that video. I don't have it. You gotta ask Brett or John. We did and they did and he came and got me. I said, you actually watch that, you're gonna have to go to search twice.

[Toledo]

I gave him a warning all I'm like, dude, I'm telling you, the guy.

[Craig Gass]

Broke the rule too.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Craig Gass]

Because it smells like trout.

[Brady Bogart]

All right? Holmberg had the best line about it. I, I just landed in Phoenix and I said, hey, just land in Phoenix. I'm exhausted, gonna take a nap. And by the way, that Reddit video you sent me, I couldn't, it wouldn't load. I'm gonna put on my laptop later and try to find it. And he goes, dude, watch it now. It's a perfect setup to go to bed.

[John Holmberg]

I did. Right before you're done.

[Brady Bogart]

Perfect setup. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, it'll knock you down.

[Craig Gass]

We do have a video of an 8 year old kid. He was in the water and he was fishing and he pulled one of the fish off the stringer and put it onto the back of the boat. And that's when a little four or five foot black tip shark bit him in the chest.

[John Holmberg]

The boy in the chest?

[Craig Gass]

Yeah. He got a tooth souvenir out of it. It didn't gave him more or less love bite.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of a nerpal.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogart]

Huh.

[John Holmberg]

He gave him a. He twisted and bolted up.

[Craig Gass]

I think he confused the kid's torso with the fish. That he. Fish was pretty big that he's putting up there.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Craig Gass]

I mean, not much smaller than the. The kid. And it just comes up and gets him right underneath the arm. Boom. And then goes back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Craig Gass]

While Toledo's finding out, there's a guy that was robbing a bank in South Jersey.

[John Holmberg]

Is this still wild America? Oh, well, South Jersey could be South Jersey. I guess it depends on the people. Oh, there's the video. Oh, you actually have video that kid getting bit in a boob?

[Craig Gass]

Yeah, it happens real quick.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, he's just hanging around behind the boat in the water.

[Craig Gass]

Yeah. He flips that fish on the back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. With fish food. Toledo's computer stinks. Here we go. If there's a commercial, I'm swinging. Successful.

[Craig Gass]

Evan Goldberg.

[Brady Bogart]

Son of a. Yeah, I did see the video. It did show on Twitter that.

[Craig Gass]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogart]

Kids coming out of the boat.

[John Holmberg]

Nah, it's not important anymore. Is it bloody or is it. No.

[Brady Bogart]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

We don't need it.

[Brady Bogart]

Scary. Yeah, there it is. There it is.

[John Holmberg]

No. Did I miss it already?

[Craig Gass]

No, you got how fast it happens.

[John Holmberg]

Boom. Oh, yeah. All right. Well, that's awesome. That's your wild, wild world.

[Toledo]

So we're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Toledo]

Well, it sounds like MMP Gun committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th Street Knitting School or [e-mail] hey Byron.

[Toledo]

I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's M and P Guns customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Toledo]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter. Where you live, you ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Toledo]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School. Or online at MMP Guns customs dot com.

[Craig Gass]

Courtney Bell. 38 years old. He robbed a bank in South Jersey. And in the process of. He had the cash and he dropped some of the cash. He wore dirty socks on his hands because he didn't want to leave any fingerprints. Had the hat on. Disguising his face, everything. So he bent over, he bends over to get a pile of the cash, and that's when the Corona bottle tumbled out of his jacket. Scrambled grab the cash, left the DNA. Yep. Got on the bottle.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so close.

[Craig Gass]

So close. Got a dealership. Ferrari dealership in Palm Beach, Florida. And the car. Freight elevator. And the dealership didn't work. Dumped one of the Ferrari.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, It.

[Craig Gass]

It's totaled out.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, that'll happen when you drop a car a floor. Oh, that's painful to see. Beautiful Ferrari.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, my God.

[Craig Gass]

Toledo. This one's for you.

[Toledo]

Somebody lost their job.

[Craig Gass]

Cracker Barrel has launched a contest. If you propose.

[Brett]

Nope.

[Craig Gass]

Over Valentine's Day, you have a chance to win. Free food for a year.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you propose at the Cracker Barrel.

[Craig Gass]

Go to Cracker Barrel. Between you got. Until now. Until next Thursday. They even give you two days after Valentine's Day. You get down on your knees at the Cracker.

[John Holmberg]

Does she have to say yes?

[Craig Gass]

Yes. Said yes at Cracker Barrel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogart]

Are you dating someone now, Dick?

[Brett]

13 years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Basically married?

[Brady Bogart]

Never married.

[Brett]

Yeah, no, I married once.

[John Holmberg]

Scared him to death.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogart]

All right.

[Brett]

You didn't enjoyed my wife. My ex wife.

[Brady Bogart]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she was.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, the ex.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Craig Gass]

Yelled at him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogart]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig Gass]

Got.

[Brett]

But John got butt dialed once, and.

[John Holmberg]

I got butt dialed, and all I heard was, well, no, someone else got butt dialed. And it left a message. It left a message on his thing. And he goes, hey, Don called me. And this is what I heard. And it was literally, you got the dick of a child.

[Brady Bogart]

I can't stand you.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, oh. And he's like, is that normal?

[Brady Bogart]

Was that the line?

[John Holmberg]

No, it was for another guy.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, my God. I hate you. Jerk.

[John Holmberg]

It was exactly Kinison. And so every time we bring her up, it's top of the lungs.

[Brady Bogart]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Because she screamed at him, and it was hilarious. But it wasn't at Toledo. It was at the guy she was with after Toledo. And we were like, is that your life? And you go, yeah. Pretty much. Wasn't far off.

[Brady Bogart]

You can take your. Your current slut down to Cracker Barrel, huh? Yeah. Well, I hope you're happy.

[John Holmberg]

How would you propose at Cracker Barrel? Sam, you.

[Brady Bogart]

I need to save money. Just say yes.

[Craig Gass]

Oh.

[Brett]

Videos. Sam. She's gay now too.

[Brady Bogart]

Hey, what does that have to do. Oh, I don't know what that has to do with anything here. We're just talking about Cracker Barrel. What is? My homosexuality. I'm doing it. Hey, wait a second. Wait a second. My God. I'm just trying to get some free.

[Craig Gass]

Food, cuz I'll go $2,000 gift certificate.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't we. Let's go dummy this up and do a little gay marriage at the Cracker Barrel. You proposed to me. We get free food for a year. I break it off a week later. What are they to.

[Brady Bogart]

Now I'm in a week side of Toledo. Break it off.

[John Holmberg]

We got to consummate the proposal. That's how gay marriage works. You got to. Right there.

[Brady Bogart]

Hey, wait a second. I thought we were just joking. Ow. Hey, wait a second. It was just a bid for free food. I know, man. I just wanted. Just a concept. Just make it legit. We just need to make it legit.

[John Holmberg]

But then you'd scare all the Cracker Barrel people. Go, okay, we're engaged now, and in gay weddings, you consummate right at the proposal site. So I'm gonna just code him right in front of you Cracker Barrel people. I don't think I like the new promotion, you know?

[Craig Gass]

Oh, man.

[Brady Bogart]

And I'm gonna need some more rolls.

[John Holmberg]

Sop up the gravy. Hey.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, let's do that. Everybody go down and dummy up a proposal. Get. We'll break Cracker Barrel.

[Craig Gass]

Five couples get chosen.

[John Holmberg]

Just five?

[Craig Gass]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. So you can go down there and do your proposal and then you use you and then the Cracker Barrel.

[Craig Gass]

Send them the video.

[John Holmberg]

Judgment board.

[Craig Gass]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Takes a look at the videos. Yeah, that's dumb.

[Brady Bogart]

We'll still go by the rule of God. I'm really happy for you two fellas, but I don't know if you've read the book lately, but you're sinners. Hey, wait a second.

[Craig Gass]

Let's get to some radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Craig Gass]

I only have a couple. Can you do all three? Because the one I was trying to do this morning.

[John Holmberg]

He's got him.

[Craig Gass]

All right, this is a guy lifting up his girlfriend by his eyes, trying to put her over his shoulders. Like there can do one of those somersaults onto the legs. You'll have to see it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't understand. She's on the ground, and he's got his legs apart. Oh, that's the ending. All right, here's how it starts. I was gonna say.

[Craig Gass]

All right.

[Brett]

Oh, now they're in a car that resets.

[John Holmberg]

All right, this is just. This is terrible so far. Great setup. Somebody standing on another person's car twerking.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Falls right through the windshield.

[Craig Gass]

New vision autoglass.com Yep.

[Brett]

How many times you think that's happened with Division?

[John Holmberg]

Just tweets herself right through the front ass prince there. Wow, that's a big ass print.

[Brady Bogart]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

It's a Kardashians happen to be washing your car. All right, Brady.

[Craig Gass]

It's the dude on a motorcycle. I, I. The knee gets jammed on the turn.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so far, these are. What in the world? Did he just pass out? Like, he just stops riding the bike.

[Brady Bogart]

I think.

[John Holmberg]

Please.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, it does.

[Craig Gass]

I think that cape got caught in the tire.

[John Holmberg]

Did you say cape?

[Brady Bogart]

Cape? Yeah. Look again.

[John Holmberg]

He's wearing a cape.

[Brady Bogart]

He's wearing a cape. And you can see the cape is attached.

[Craig Gass]

I see the cape he made. Yeah. He choked out.

[Brady Bogart]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Now I'm happy.

[Craig Gass]

But then we see the leg on the inside on the turn. That's the cape.

[Brady Bogart]

But it's the cape. It's definitely the cape.

[John Holmberg]

All right. At first, I felt bad. Now dude in a cape getting hurt makes me. I'm fine with it. Cape guy.

[Brady Bogart]

It's like, I don't know if you ever do this. Have you ever been watching a football game but you don't care about either team? And then you'll be rooting for one team. Like, I hope this one team wins. And then you see a fan of that team in the stand. It looks like such an ass.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Brady Bogart]

I want that guy to be unhappy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I just. Yeah. Certain people being sad makes me happy. That's a.

[Brady Bogart]

And I just. I switched the middle of that video. I actually, I felt bad for the guy because it looked like a painful injury. And I'm like, oh, no, he's wearing a cape.

[John Holmberg]

When I heard the word cape, I'm like, oh, I hope that gets wounded up in a tire and pulls you off of the bike. And that's exactly what happened.

[Craig Gass]

All right, so here's the couple's lift.

[John Holmberg]

There are Asian people trying to get to the balloon.

[Craig Gass]

He's going to flip her over in the back.

[John Holmberg]

He's got her now.

[Craig Gass]

Watch carefully.

[John Holmberg]

Look at his shorts pile driving her he's pile driving her.

[Craig Gass]

Well, he's going to pile drive it.

[John Holmberg]

All right. He's poop. He pooped. Oh.

[Craig Gass]

And then dumps her in it.

[John Holmberg]

He took a diarrhea poo. And it shot out of his shorts. And then she landed in it. Oh, no.

[Craig Gass]

Oh, crab cakes.

[John Holmberg]

She's got it in her. No.

[Craig Gass]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

She.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, you sick prick.

[John Holmberg]

When he lifts her up, listen for the. The moment. She's not that heavy. There goes the D. All right. And it makes a little splat sound.

[Brady Bogart]

He knows it. You can see the look on his face. He knows it's coming.

[Brett]

He's being a gentleman by not dropping.

[Brady Bogart]

Well, he's trying to play along and he's trying to concentrate. I think the most fascinating part of it is the first three or four seconds where you can see on his face that he's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's not trusting this one.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, no. Yeah, he's grimacing.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't even walk away from it, though. He lets her land in it.

[Brady Bogart]

He's trying to smile, knowing.

[Craig Gass]

Wipe your mouth now. Both hands.

[John Holmberg]

Those people's jokes have advanced so much further than the pee and the coke thing.

[Craig Gass]

Now they're off to crack.

[Brady Bogart]

You can't wipe your mouth. Even think about that.

[John Holmberg]

Your hands.

[Brady Bogart]

Hands just went. Oh, my.

[John Holmberg]

That was horrible. All right, well, speaking of horrible, Brett.

[Toledo]

It'S a little light today, but I've still got some. Some gems.

[John Holmberg]

Videos all come from the Dark Web.

[Toledo]

And they are. They're sent to me. These aren't.

[Brady Bogart]

Video came from who sends them to you.

[Toledo]

It started out as one listener and then everybody else accepted it.

[Craig Gass]

Now we've got toppers.

[Toledo]

So now it's like, all right, watch this one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so now it's.

[Toledo]

So this one's.

[John Holmberg]

Brace yourself.

[Toledo]

Kind of watch out for, you know, when you're doing construction work.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, so this is just like the warm up to this video.

[John Holmberg]

What's happening? Truck guys out here.

[Toledo]

Some doing some construction.

[Brett]

That a crane?

[Brady Bogart]

It looks like some being filmed on a security camera.

[John Holmberg]

Slow moving something nice build up here for you. I hate when you build these to the murder. Is that truck going to tip over?

[Craig Gass]

Oh, here we go. Taking a long time.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, no, it's a. A steamroller just rushed the guy, then came back over him.

[Craig Gass]

Oops.

[Toledo]

Didn't mean that.

[Brady Bogart]

As if to say, sorry about that. Let me go the other way.

[Craig Gass]

Who tells him to back up. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Toledo]

And then this one was.

[Craig Gass]

I like that guy.

[Toledo]

This one was the one that was actually sent to you last week.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

That you didn't watch it? I just watched it.

[John Holmberg]

And? Pretty awful.

[Toledo]

Well, it's gonna remind you of a certain rock band.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, Great white, I'm guessing. No, no.

[Brady Bogart]

All right, let's see certain rock.

[John Holmberg]

Find out what we've got here. I didn't listen to the vocals.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

This is an L7 memory.

[Brady Bogart]

Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, fighting. These two girls are Elbo. Elbows and elbows.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's just biting her face.

[Toledo]

Oh, it's not over yet.

[John Holmberg]

She's pulling something out, isn't she? Oh, she's reaching in. She's getting the rogue tampon.

[Brady Bogart]

She's reaching. She's pulling out the rogue.

[John Holmberg]

But she's got to go deep for it.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, no, no, it's out. It's a five.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's over. Oh, it's out. Don't feed it to her, please.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, you sick. No, no, no, no. Oh. Oh.

[Craig Gass]

Oh.

[Brady Bogart]

O. Oh. Oh. She loves it.

[John Holmberg]

People are, like, gathered around. This is an event.

[Craig Gass]

Yeah, she still hasn't tapped out.

[John Holmberg]

This is backyard wrestling. Oh, geez. I think that chance. No good. Holy Christ, Brett.

[Toledo]

So we'll end on that.

[John Holmberg]

It's not even so much that that's on video, that there were, like, 200 people there.

[Brady Bogart]

Oh, yeah. Paid attendance. And that went down as the bloodiest wrestling match of all time.

[John Holmberg]

The Flow League, the center. Pennies were everywhere. Oh, my goodness. Well, hello. Thank you, Brett. You're no problem.

[Brady Bogart]

You are.

[John Holmberg]

Not just me.

[Toledo]

They're sending it to me.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but you're. You're the one who has to sift through it and find the gems. And you're doing a great job.

[Brady Bogart]

Andy Dufresne would never touch a woman.

[John Holmberg]

Again for the rest of. He immediately went down and asked the sisters for another run.

[Toledo]

He went to the gay rehab after that.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? What you guys been doing ain't so bad.

[Brady Bogart]

Andy asked the question. We were all thinking, what does that.

[John Holmberg]

Have to do with anything? Yuck. Yeah. If you don't remember, L7, right?

[Brady Bogart]

Yeah. Of course.

[John Holmberg]

On stage, pulled it out and whipped it and threw it at the crowd.

[Brady Bogart]

I'm sure you could probably find that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. We don't need to see.

[Brett]

That was it Infest.

[Brady Bogart]

I think the first Infest in Seattle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And she pulled it out, and it was like that weird maroonish brown. We all know it. And she spun it first like a lasso.

[Brady Bogart]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. There you go. Well, that's your Brady Report. Better late than never. All the news you never want to tell.

[Brady Bogart]

That's your brain it's just one gross image.

[John Holmberg]

Brought to you by Hooters. It's 98K Upity. Sorry, it's out of control now. You've been listening to Holmberg's Morning Sickness Podcast, brought to you by our friends at Eric's Family Barbecue in Avondale. Meat mesquite repeat ericsfamilybbq.com.