
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Monday February 6, 2023
Loading summary
Howard Holmberg
The podcast you are listening to of Homework's morning Sickness is brought to you by my friends at Eric's Family Barbecue in Avondale. Meet Mesquite Repeat. Trust me on this one. You've had barbecue before, but you haven't had it this good. Eric's Family Barbecue in Avondale ericsfamilybbq.com this.
Michael
Is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amend Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today.
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first five dollar wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning five dollar bet and and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only five dollars first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to.
Howard Holmberg
53342 then our friend Craig Gast joins us this week. He's going to do super bowl things and you're kind of our you're going to be our correspondent. Although we're more borrowing off of what you do our man on the streets than you are doing things for us. Cor. Correct.
Craig Gass
Sherry Want me to ask horrible questions?
Howard Holmberg
If you'd like to, we could not tonight. You're going to the media day thing.
Craig Gass
Yeah, I'm waiting to get my.
Howard Holmberg
You're trying to go. Well, legally, yes, you will go.
Craig Gass
I usually go legally.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah.
Craig Gass
And I send the content to the super bowl cities. Yes, whatever cities are being represented. I send it to my buddies out there and go here, you can take this and and I get silly and fun stuff. And I'm also doing two nights of shows, one in Gilbert and one in Glendale. All the info's@getgast.com I'm at JP's Comedy Club Wednesday in Gilbert Stir Crazy. On Thursday, a bunch of friends are performing with me.
Howard Holmberg
Who you got?
Craig Gass
Getgast.com. i mean I can't, I can't. They're in town and. But yeah, I can't. It would be a dick move to say hey and then these guys are.
Howard Holmberg
Gonna join and you're not here for the super bowl itself because then you could do our show Sunday with Adam Ray and special guests and Gary Cannon. No, we're doing it up at CB Live up in Scottsdale.
Craig Gass
At CB Live.
Howard Holmberg
Like 2 o'clock before the show starts. We're going to have.
Craig Gass
You can do an afternoon show.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah. And then build right into the watch party.
Craig Gass
Wow.
Howard Holmberg
So just everybody goof around, do some stand up about things and then go right into the Super Bowl.
Craig Gass
Used to be notoriously my drunkest day of the year.
Howard Holmberg
No kidding.
Craig Gass
Back when you were using here in Arizona, the game comes on at 4, 4 34. So usually start drinking one or two. Oh man. 8pm on Super Bowl Sunday.
Howard Holmberg
Just plaster ugly.
Craig Gass
Really looking for.
Howard Holmberg
Do you miss it?
Craig Gass
No.
Howard Holmberg
Not at all. Right. It's a good thing that it's all off your radar now. It's all because I've been around you with, you know, pressures and people drinking and all that. You don't even seem to have like an itch. It doesn't bother you to be around it.
Craig Gass
No. Maybe at least outwardly guys will like party. Like Greg Wilson was doing cushions.
Howard Holmberg
Jesus. Kind of anonymous is anonymous to you. So Greg Wilson is bumping.
Craig Gass
Go ahead, Greg W. That's right.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah, much better, much better.
Craig Gass
Greg W. Is chopping coke in front of me. He goes, oh man, I'm sorry, should I not be doing this in front of you? And I go, I go, it's fine. He goes, okay. He kept snorting it.
Howard Holmberg
Well, now we know he has a problem. Craig W. We hope you gets better.
Craig Gass
Greg started, ended up with the same problem I had. He had a heart attack.
Howard Holmberg
Oh, no kidding.
Craig Gass
Yeah, I had a heart attack. Greg had a heart attack. So he's still, I think, I think he's sober. I don't know.
Howard Holmberg
Because you didn't sober up because of the heart attack.
Craig Gass
It scared me straight for a year and two weeks.
Howard Holmberg
Right.
Craig Gass
And then I relapsed. And then the two year anniversary of the heart attack, I was like, what am I doing?
Howard Holmberg
Yeah.
Craig Gass
And then I just had this moment of clarity that people talk about.
Howard Holmberg
Isn't that crazy? And since then, nothing. Yeah, pretty amazing.
Craig Gass
Nothing. No drugs, no alcohol. 18 years. And then that first year that I got sober. Seven of my friends died, all comedians. Four drug overdoses, three drinking and driving, car accidents. It's how I know. Mitch Hedberg was my first roommate in New York. Mitch is the first of seven comedian friends of mine who died from drugs or alcohol in the first year that I got cleaned. So when March 31st hits this year, I'll know it'll be exactly 18 years that Mitch has been gone, because.
Howard Holmberg
Is that 18 years?
Craig Gass
18 years since me.
Howard Holmberg
No kidding. I would have guessed nine. Yeah, Mitch was awesome. Like one of the, like, the single most creative mind to come in this room.
Craig Gass
It's so fun to look at him as he's.
Byron
The mind's working.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, he was great.
Craig Gass
The eyes closed a little bit. He's so. First night I ever met him was one of the most beautiful nights I've ever. Standup comedy. I'm. I'm. I. There would be comedians that would. I was in Seattle doing open mics, trying to figure out how to do it, and there'd be certain comedians that had reputations like, oh, man, Patton Oswald. You got really? Oh, yeah. Patton Oswald's like. He's a killer. Oh, man. Mitch Hedberg. Yeah. Really, dude? Yeah, dude. That guy's rock and roll. He's so cool. So I campaigned not knowing anything about this guy Mitch Edberg. I want to open for Mitch Head. Can I be the opener? And they're like, yeah, yeah. So I get the gig and Mitch shows up and I go, hey, Mitch, I'm Craig Guest. I'm your opening act. And he goes, oh, right on, man. Yeah. And then I go up and I do my welcome to the show. I'm Craig eph. High energy. And I go, all right, you guys ready for your headliner? Please welcome Mitch Edward. It's sold out. Mitch gets up on stage and there's this weird moment where he goes, all right, hey, where is Thomas? Thomas? And the whole crowd's like, ready for a comedy show. And he goes, thomas, where is Thomas? And you hear a guy in the back room, he goes, I'm back here, man. There's no chairs. And he goes, what? Thomas, just. Can somebody find a seat for Thomas? Oh, you know what? Screw it. Thomas. I have a chair right here on the stage and just come up here on stage. And then everyone's dead silent. You hear this. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. And this guy's walking through a sold out crowd. He gets up on stage, turns around and everyone starts laughing because nobody knows who the hell this guy Thomas is. Yeah, but as soon as he turns around, I was like, God, that guy is hot. The guy is really high. He sits down, he's got a leather jacket on. And I'll always remember, Thomas had a pin on his jacket. It wasn't a legitimate merch pin from Spencer's. He had a homemade pin where he had typed the word motorhead and made a pin out of it on his jacket. He turns around and Mitch goes, all right, well, my name's Mitch, and these are my jokes. And he starts doing material. And every time he does a joke, back then, before he built his own audience, the audience would take a beat and analyze what he said, and they'd start laughing. There was always like a half beat, like, oh, my God, it was riddles. It was riddles.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah.
Craig Gass
And they would start laughing. Mitch would start to do his next joke when Thomas understood what just happened. And Thomas would start giggling, which would make Mitch go, ha, ha, hell yeah. And then the crowd. And the crowd would laugh again. And then Thomas and Mitch would laugh again. I'm so happy. Thomas and Mitch.
Howard Holmberg
Oh, that's Glori.
Craig Gass
And every joke he did had 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 waves of laughter. Every joke.
Howard Holmberg
Because the laugh and then the recognition of people who got it later. And then the. And then it just kept going.
Craig Gass
In 45 minutes, Mitch did what would have been easily a 10 or 15 minute set, because every joke had so many waves of laughter. And then a couple years later, Mitch lets me move in with him in New York. And because you're homosexuals, what does that have to do.
Howard Holmberg
Anyway, go ahead, finish the story.
Craig Gass
So, first day that I moved into his apartment, I got he. I'm trying to get my bearings straight, and Mitch is trying to tell me where everything is, because I'm gonna have the apartment to myself the first weekend in New York. And so he's like, oh, yeah, man, this is the key for this door, and this is the key for the security door. And then at one point, he goes, oh, hey, Craig, this is a map of the New York City subway. And on the back of his front door was this enormous map of the MTA system, which, the first time you look at it, it's very confusing. It's red, blue, yellow lines all crossing over each other. And I'm looking at the map, and Mitch goes, so that's how that works. And he walks away. And I was like, what the hell? I'm still confused.
Brett
College hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzzballs for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joint since 1983.
Howard Holmberg
Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.
Byron
I sure do. It's M and P Guns. Customs M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.
Howard Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Byron
We can new it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No, wait.
Howard Holmberg
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online@mmpguns customs.com but yeah.
Craig Gass
Mitch, 18 years.
Howard Holmberg
That's amazing. I would have never guessed 18. I would have maybe put 10 on that. Maybe.
Craig Gass
Yeah, it's. It's. God, the guy loved decadence. And the last time we saw him, he's laying down on the. Well, yeah, he's Celebrity theaters.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah, he was at celebrity theater throwing pills thrown at him.
Craig Gass
Pills. And he was eating the pills.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah. And evidently the show was ridiculously funny. And then everybody's like, was that real? And it turns out that was very real, that the audience was chucking pills at him and he was just eating them off the floor one afternoon, not. Not caring what they were or what was going on. Yeah.
Craig Gass
I would hear when I was living with them, we would drink. He smoked. Never saw heroin.
Howard Holmberg
No kidding.
Craig Gass
Never saw. And I would hear when I was living with him, Mitch signed a deal with. It was either Fox or ABC for almost a million dollars for a holding deal, which is, here's a million dollars. Don't work with anybody else for two years.
Howard Holmberg
Just in case we get something.
Craig Gass
We don't know what we're gonna put you in.
Howard Holmberg
Right.
Craig Gass
But here's a million dollars. So you don't work with any other network. And there's many times where those deals expire and you just keep the money. It's like, all right, see you. And once he got that money, he moved out of the Apartment and into the Chelsea Hotel. And. And I didn't hear from him.
Howard Holmberg
And.
Craig Gass
And that's when I started hearing stories like, you know, Mitch is really messed really bad. I go, no, Mitch. And one of the stories was celebrity theater.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah.
Craig Gass
He was eating pills off the.
Howard Holmberg
It was like a year later, maybe less, that he died.
Craig Gass
That he died.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah.
Craig Gass
I heard that he also walked off the stage and made out with an elderly lady. Yes.
Howard Holmberg
Which was not because.
Craig Gass
All right.
Howard Holmberg
That was just okay to do. I. I recommend you take that joke. I think you should start that Craig Guess. Like a Neil diamond moment of your show.
Craig Gass
You're like, the old lady's like, what does this have to do with anything? All right, let's go. Stop it.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah. So it'll be interesting. So tonight, I think that's what you should do when you go to the media night.
Craig Gass
Take the pills.
Howard Holmberg
Is. Take some pills. Make out with one of the older players.
Craig Gass
Throw pills at Mahomes. There you go.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah. Do you have questions at the ready? Should we have listeners ask. Send you questions?
Craig Gass
If you want to send me questions, you can send me questions. And I already have a theme.
Howard Holmberg
Okay.
Craig Gass
My theme is to focus on Eagles fans. Oh, because of that. They're horrible. Because of that. Because they booed Santa Claus.
Howard Holmberg
They've thrown. They cheered when Michael Irvin was carted off on a stretcher because his neck possibly broke in Philly.
Craig Gass
Yep.
Howard Holmberg
And they cheered wildly.
Craig Gass
And when they won a Super bowl, the fans ate horse manure.
Howard Holmberg
I don't remember that.
Craig Gass
You're kidding. No.
Howard Holmberg
I thought that was just a. I thought that was called a Philly cheesesteak.
Craig Gass
I did that after.
Howard Holmberg
I thought they did that every day. Me neither.
Craig Gass
You can look that up.
Dick Toledo
No kidding.
Craig Gass
They. They were celebrating in the streets, and a video went viral of fans next to a horse on top on a horse. And they're like, yeah, I'm gonna eat this horse. And they start taking piles. I need fiber.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah.
Craig Gass
Yeah.
Howard Holmberg
Better than eating a Philly lady. That's for sure.
Craig Gass
That's what they kept saying.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah. This tastes like your wife, Dave. Yuck. Philadelphia.
Dick Toledo
Do it.
Craig Gass
Drive me to Wachovia.
Howard Holmberg
There you go.
Craig Gass
Oh, wait.
Howard Holmberg
Oh, no. You've got. You've got a video of it immediately.
Craig Gass
Oh, yeah. Here we go.
Howard Holmberg
I can't. I'm not. I'm not Brett. I shouldn't. So it's a TMZ video. So they don't talk.
Craig Gass
My goal is to talk to Eagles players and get them to pa. Rosy picture.
Howard Holmberg
Yeah.
Craig Gass
Of their fans, because. Which they will oh, my God.
Howard Holmberg
He is face into the manure. Okay, that's horrible. I'd rather watch that fish from last. So that's enough of that.
Craig Gass
Pull that back up. Eagles players will give me a will through rose colored glasses, describe their fans as being great and wonderful and literally everyone else will tell the truth.
Howard Holmberg
Yes. And that's the Chiefs players to describe Eagles fans, Correct? Yes. That's.
Craig Gass
They'll still get. They'll still be diplomatic, which is why I want to go to fans. But the Eagles players across the board will defend their fans. Yeah, of course.
Howard Holmberg
Somehow.
Craig Gass
Somehow. Yeah.
Howard Holmberg
It's a non TMZ video. And this is the dude staggering drunk down the road in a Randall Cunningham jersey because he hasn't had enough money since Cunningham left the Eagles to buy another jersey.
Craig Gass
Bouncing back and forth like he's about to get in a fistfight, like he's hyping himself up.
Howard Holmberg
God, it's happening and it's a lot.
Craig Gass
He's doing it.
Howard Holmberg
Now.
Michael
Now he's on his knees, and that's.
Craig Gass
When you realize on his knees, he's got face down in horse manure. There are pellets of horse manure.
Howard Holmberg
Oh, God.
Craig Gass
And he's putting his face right in. Everybody's getting their cameras in.
Howard Holmberg
Listen to the fans of Philly. Excited about it. Like, they're happy about it.
Craig Gass
John, you just missed the grossest shot. I don't watch the grossest shot of it.
Howard Holmberg
No.
Craig Gass
He displays the biscuit in the mouth.
Howard Holmberg
Yes, I know. No, I'm not watching it again. Oh, there. I saw. I saw it. I saw enough right there.
Craig Gass
That's enough.
Howard Holmberg
What are you, Kevin Costner all of a sudden? It's not the Zapruder film.
Craig Gass
It's a terrible quality one. Back to the left.
Howard Holmberg
Back. It's up to you. Oh, God. All right, I get it. I know what's in there.
Craig Gass
So how do they submit questions to me?
Howard Holmberg
Well, we can do it through this. Holmberg@98kupd.com and I'll hand them over and we'll go. As the morning goes, there's questions you want. If you were on the media row tonight asking any players for either team a question, Craig will be the liaison between you and the player themselves. Any question you want to ask? Have you seen this fish video yet? Is the first thing I see. And then you show somebody the fish. Have you seen trout lady yet?
Craig Gass
It's tough.
Howard Holmberg
Let's make Trout lady huge. I will say ask them all that. Just say, have you googled Trout lady yet? And then they'll be, no. But then NFL Network will be like, comedian Craig gasp. That's gonna be a trout lady. And then they'll look and they'll be like, oh, my sweet Jesus, why? And then it'll be a national story.
Craig Gass
As you know, the NFL is very, very conservative.
Howard Holmberg
Sure.
Craig Gass
And I'm always. I try to get close to the line. I won't go to the line.
Howard Holmberg
Right.
Craig Gass
But I try to get close line. Mike. Artie Lang. I was with Artie when he got banned by the NFL for asking a question that got the answer that got him in trouble. His question was, this was Super Bowl 47 in New Orleans, San Francisco versus Ravens, 49ers versus Ravens. And for the first time, a player had come out as an active player, had come out as being gay.
Howard Holmberg
Right.
Craig Gass
And Artie said to one of the guys on the 49ers, what would you do if you found out that one of your teammates was gay? And the 49ers player said, I punch him in the mouth. I remember, you better not get close to me. I'll punch you. And Artie goes, oh, yeah?
Howard Holmberg
Really?
Craig Gass
Yeah. And he, like, put the microphone up in his face and let him finish and let him continue. And he continued to expand on the idea of physically assaulting one of his teammates. And because of the way that player.
Howard Holmberg
Answered, already got banned for bringing it up.
Craig Gass
For bringing it up.
Howard Holmberg
So we won't talk about your gay stuff. We'll keep that. We'll keep that between us on this show. All right, well, we'll be doing gay.
Craig Gass
Stuff and Gilbert on Wednesday, and then you're moving it all over Glendale onto all the tickets for the comedy shows. Wednesday, Gilbert, Thursday, Glendale getgas.com getgast with.
Howard Holmberg
Two S's.com all right, we'll get some questions in there. We'll see if people have some good ones. But if you want homebrew@98kpd.com we'll send Craig armed with your questions, and he'll siphon through and see if we can get one. We got a what would Brady do? Coming up next. It's 98. He's out of control now. Can you. Peter, you've been listening to Holmberg's Morning Sickness podcast, brought to you by our friends at Eric's family barbecue in Avondale. Meet mesquite repeat eric's familybbq.com.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (02-06-23)
Podcast Information:
Howard Holmberg opens the episode by introducing Craig Gass as the week's special guest. He teases that Craig will be acting as a correspondent for the show, particularly focusing on upcoming Super Bowl events.
Notable Quotes:
Craig Gass discusses his role related to the Super Bowl media day. He explains that his task involves gathering content from various Super Bowl cities and creating engaging, humorous material. Additionally, Craig mentions his upcoming performances in Gilbert and Glendale, providing listeners with his booking information.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes as Craig Gass shares his journey to sobriety. He recounts the tragic loss of seven comedian friends in his first year of being clean, including the renowned Mitch Hedberg, who was Craig's first roommate in New York. Craig reminisces about Mitch’s comedic genius and their memorable performances together.
Notable Quotes:
Craig Gass delves deeper into his relationship with Mitch Hedberg, sharing vivid memories of Mitch's unique stage presence and their life together in New York. He describes Mitch's struggles with substance abuse, the infamous incident at Celebrity Theater where Mitch consumed pills thrown onto the stage, and the subsequent fallout leading to Mitch's untimely death.
Notable Quotes:
Howard Holmberg and Craig Gass discuss strategies for engaging with fans during Media Day. They focus on preparing humorous and provocative questions for players, particularly targeting Eagles fans. The duo emphasizes the importance of capturing candid responses to create entertaining content.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts share humorous yet critical stories about Eagles fans' outrageous behavior. They reference viral videos showcasing fans engaging in bizarre acts, such as celebrating with horse manure, which serves as fodder for Craig's upcoming interviews.
Notable Quotes:
Howard Holmberg encourages listeners to submit their questions for Craig Gass to facilitate interactive segments during Media Day. He provides the email address for submissions and outlines how listeners can participate in shaping the discourse.
Notable Quotes:
The episode wraps up with Howard Holmberg reiterating the call for listener-submitted questions and previewing upcoming segments. He also includes a brief mention of ongoing promotions and sponsors, maintaining the show's engaging and interactive atmosphere.
Notable Quotes:
Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Craig Gass via email at homebrew@98kupd.com, allowing them to influence the direction of upcoming interviews and segments related to the Super Bowl.
Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and narratives presented during the episode.