02-06-25 - BR - THU - Study Says Mornings Are Happiest Time Of Day - Woman Sues Miami Marlins After Slipping On Dog Pee - Judge Resigns Over Skipping Jury Duty And Everyone's Guilty Theory

Summary

Summary of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona"

Podcast Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode: 02-06-25 - BR - THU
Release Date: February 6, 2025
Description: Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show on 98 KUPD where John Holmberg and his team entertain, question, and provoke listeners with engaging discussions.

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Episode Overview

In the February 6th episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness," hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo delve into a variety of topics ranging from local community issues to national news stories. The conversation is marked by humor, sarcasm, and candid exchanges, providing listeners with both entertainment and thought-provoking insights.

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Community Impact of the Phoenix Open

Scottsdale Lockdown

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg discussing the disruptions caused by the Phoenix Open. A listener reports being "locked up in Scottsdale," highlighting the difficulties residents face during the event.

John Holmberg [00:35]:
"I just got an email from a guy says I am locked up in Scottsdale."

The hosts empathize with the listener, discussing the challenges of navigating home due to restricted access for residents. They speculate on the inconvenience and potential chaos, particularly for those living near the event's parking areas.

Brady Bogen [01:16]:
"Terrible."

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T-Shirt Talk and DEI Policies

The Black T-Shirt Debate

The conversation shifts to the hosts' choice of wearing black T-shirts, leading to a broader discussion on workplace Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) policies. The hosts joke about the implications of their attire and how it relates to DEI initiatives.

Dick Toledo [03:12]:
"Guess what's out of his closet now."

John Holmberg [03:17]:
"Yeah. Oh, I'm fine with that."

Critique of DEI Implementation

The dialogue evolves into a critical examination of DEI policies in the workplace, particularly the enforcement of diversity quotas in hiring practices.

Dick Toledo [12:10]:
"People aren't saying they don't want diversity at work. They're saying they don't want to be forced to have diversity at work."

The hosts express frustration with mandated diversity measures, advocating instead for merit-based hiring while acknowledging the value of a diverse workforce.

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The Brady Report

National Chopsticks Day and Frozen Yogurt Day

Brady introduces "The Brady Report," beginning with lighter topics like National Chopsticks Day and National Frozen Yogurt Day. The hosts humorously debate the practicality of using chopsticks for eating frozen yogurt.

Brady Bogen [04:04]:
"Happy National Chopsticks Day and National Frozen Yogurt Day."

John Holmberg [04:12]:
"Don't try to eat that together. You chopsticks and yogurt. You're going to be there forever."

Study on Morning Happiness

Brady shares a study claiming that mornings are the happiest time of day, based on data from nearly 50,000 adults over two years. The hosts express skepticism, sharing personal anecdotes about their morning routines.

Brady Bogen [08:05]:
"Mornings are actually the happiest time of day when people are happier and more satisfied, less downbeat."

John Holmberg [08:27]:
"What Scientology study is this. Nobody wakes up."

Incident at Texarkana Regional Airport

Brady reports on a heroic act by a local pilot who stopped a 15-year-old armed with firearms from causing chaos at Texarkana Regional Airport.

Brady Bogen [14:48]:
"Police are praising the heroic actions of a local pilot who confronted and stopped a 15-year-old who entered a Texarkana Regional Airport in Arkansas..."

John Holmberg [14:53]:
"Well, yeah, don't go running around airports with guns. Just a good rule."

Miami Marlins Lawsuit Over Dog Urine

The discussion moves to a lawsuit filed against the Miami Marlins after a woman slipped on dog urine during a "Bark in the Park" promotion.

Brady Bogen [16:52]:
"Luann Hahn attended a Miami Marlins matchup...she slipped on it. Now she's suing the Marlins."

John Holmberg [17:32]:
"Would you sue your favorite sports franchise for that kind of thing?"

Drone Warfare in Ukraine

Brady highlights advancements in drone warfare, specifically drones launching smaller drones to engage in combat, raising questions about future warfare dynamics.

Brady Bogen [20:25]:
"Drones are now launching drones to attack other drones."

John Holmberg [21:01]:
"We have drone launching drones. That's Pablo's old joke."

Judicial Resignation Over Jury Duty Evasion

A judge in upstate New York resigns after admitting he couldn't be impartial because he believed all defendants were guilty.

Brady Bogen [21:58]:
"A judge in upstate New York was just forced to resign. He had tried to get out of jury duty by insisting that he couldn't be impartial because he believed that all defendants are guilty."

John Holmberg [22:20]:
"I agree with that. That'll teach you a lesson not to be close to the illegal activities."

Anheuser Busch's Rebranding Effort

Brady mentions Anheuser Busch's initiative to rebrand their beer from "domestic" to "American," critiquing the clarity and necessity of the change.

Brady Bogen [24:49]:
"The CEO of Anheuser Busch wants you to stop calling their beer a domestic and start calling it American beer."

John Holmberg [25:09]:
"We know what domestic means. It's too hard for people to understand what it means."

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Video Segment Discussions

Mishaps and Accidents

The hosts review various online videos depicting accidents, mishaps, and humorous fail scenarios. They comment on the absurdity and humor found in these clips, often making light-hearted jokes and sharing personal takes.

• Chipping Flaming Golf Balls: Discussed as a potential catalyst for unintended disasters like forest fires.
• Aggressive Foot Trimming and Chop Shops: The hosts humorously stereotype Asian foot washers as "chop shops," critiquing both the service and the cultural implications.

John Holmberg [37:46]:
"They always put that."

Dick Toledo [39:08]:
"You're in a chop shop."

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Concluding Conversations

As the episode wraps up, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter, reflecting on the day's discussions and reiterating their unique brand of humor. They maintain an informal and candid tone, ensuring listeners are entertained and engaged until the end.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• John Holmberg [00:35]:
  "I just got an email from a guy says I am locked up in Scottsdale."

• Brady Bogen [04:04]:
  "Happy National Chopsticks Day and National Frozen Yogurt Day."

• Dick Toledo [12:10]:
  "People aren't saying they don't want diversity at work. They're saying they don't want to be forced to have diversity at work."

• John Holmberg [22:20]:
  "I agree with that. That'll teach you a lesson not to be close to illegal activities."

• Brady Bogen [24:49]:
  "The CEO of Anheuser Busch wants you to stop calling their beer a domestic and start calling it American beer."

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Final Thoughts

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" exemplifies the show's blend of humor, candid discussions, and engagement with current events. The hosts effectively balance serious topics with light-hearted banter, ensuring a dynamic and entertaining listening experience. Whether tackling community issues like the Phoenix Open's impact or dissecting national news stories, John Holmberg and his team provide listeners with insightful commentary infused with their distinctive comedic flair.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com cruising along traffic already cruddy, I guess out there. I just got an email from a guy says I am locked up in Scottsdale. Jenna, who is one of the Ackerman clan up there at Tactical Bike, she used to live apartments right off of where you walk to get into the Phoenix Open. And she said that they'd have to give the residents passes to go home. And I don't even think about those people that live in that apartment complex that's right there on the parking. Gonna be miserable to try to get.

[Brady]

The streets, even the houses in that area.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible.

[Brady]

It's. You have to have that pass in order to get back, get home. And if they have guests come over.

[John Holmberg]

They have to have their stuff. Yeah, that's horrible.

[Brett]

If that. I'm Airbnb in that house.

[John Holmberg]

That's. What if she said that. That they would do it. The apartment complex would rent out the empty apartments to strange weirdos from. That's what I would do too. I'd get out of there. I wouldn't live. That golf course would be a deterrent for me. I don't care how much I love that house. I'm like, wait a minute. What? Just for one week of this nightmare. No thanks. That's the only bad thing about Airbnb is you gotta move all your stuff out. Right. It's like moving, but my God. Yeah. People saying it already. That mucking stuff up out there. It should be. They should be teeing off. They should be now. 8:00, right? Yeah. Anyway, no protest so far. I'm watching the news, you guys, Mexicans, trans people. None of you taking my advice and making it look like we've got crazy people all over this place. Sure would be nice because this wet, this. Look at the sky on tv, on the highlights, people Are sending over me at the quick trip.

[Dick Toledo]

You gotta post that.

[John Holmberg]

The mother and her crying child screaming, oh, my God. Stay away. Is that Batman? You son of a. Even that picture. I don't look like I'm gonna hurt your kids. He put me on a body of US Of a killer. It's just my head. That head doesn't scream, I'm going to hurt your children unless you're thinking about it.

[Dick Toledo]

And that shirt you're wearing today, you put that face on.

[John Holmberg]

I have a black shirt on.

[Dick Toledo]

I know.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

What's wrong with my T shirt? Al Franken at KSLX wears black T shirts every day. Nobody keeps kids away from me.

[Brett]

I didn't get the notice today.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't know that.

[John Holmberg]

What did you get one?

[Brett]

The black T shirt. Dave, with you and Frank?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, it's a thing because you got to pay your quarterly dues.

[Dick Toledo]

Guess what's out of his closet now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, I'm fine with that. Look, he's not owning black T shirts.

[Brett]

He's going back to cabana wear just because.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, no. I'm not doing that either. The other guy wrecked that. Yeah, he did. Hawaiian shirts and black T shirts forever ruined. But you can't have black T shirts. Those are mine. Just because you wear one every day. Pratt's done that. He wears black T shirts every day, too. And he does it in case there's film to edit. How arrogant are you? I get to wear the same thing every day just in case I'm in some screen and, you know, got to edit it with yesterday's stuff. Like, that's weird editing purpose.

[Brady]

He got it from Bill Haywood back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

That's too soon. Brady. Bill's. Ha ha ha ha.

[Brett]

Lamb of God.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry, Bill. It's 807. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Brady reporting.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Chopsticks Day and National Frozen Yogurt Day.

[John Holmberg]

Don't try to eat that together. You. Chopsticks and yogurt. You're going to be there forever.

[Dick Toledo]

You never been to Asia. They're like champs.

[Brady]

Got to eat it never will.

[John Holmberg]

They're not using chopsticks for, well, frozen yogurt. Yeah, but yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt. I'm still not eating ice cream with chopsticks. How committed am I to cultural appropriation that I just won't get a spoon that's why they don't have Japanese ice cream stores. Nobody go to that.

[Brady]

What do you think? Yogurt. How old do you think yogurt is?

[John Holmberg]

What, the one in your fridge?

[Brady]

Just in general. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Since you've been alive. So I'd say Dan, and tried to stuff one in your fridge. Yogurt probably started in, like, the 1300s because it's just fermented dairy before that.

[Brady]

Is it 4,000 years old?

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady]

In the Middle East? In India.

[Brett]

Good call.

[Brady]

Slowly made its way across the world.

[John Holmberg]

It's gross. Yeah, I'm with Brady on that one. I like the one with, like, when you freeze it, you pour Hershey's chocolate sauce on top. That's just. That's a sundae. Yogurt. Healthy.

[Brady]

A couple of basis fun facts. There's enough cash in circulation in the US that every single person in America, adults and kids, could carry at least $6,500 on them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, just circulating cash.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It's not a very lofty goal. It's a decent amount of money for, like, a day's walking around money. But if that's all everybody has, we're all broke.

[Dick Toledo]

John, after listening to you guys for the last half hour in your previous break. Is this why you don't do Facebook Live streams? You're hearing the children and it's bad for ratings.

[John Holmberg]

I can't look at my. I understand. Ugly people are. Like, how come you don't ever want to take a picture? Because I'm in. Depresses me. That's why. Like, why don't you have a Facebook page? Cause my face would be on it. Your Facebook page is fine. My Facebook page is awful. So. Yes. And we don't have cameras in here for two reasons. A, we'd last a day, and B, my face.

[Dick Toledo]

John, this will tell you how old I am, but to me, you maybe look like a Gerald McCraney.

[John Holmberg]

Major dad. Right? Everybody always throws in the. With AIDS. I'm 6ft, 218 pounds right now. I don't look AIDSy, but somehow I do. I'm a healthy specimen of AIDS. And I look like Major Dad. Well, wait. Simon and Simon. Gerald McCraney or Major Dad Gerald McCraney.

[Dick Toledo]

Was that him and Simon?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Simon and Simon's a great show.

[Brady]

In ancient Persia, people debated ideas twice. Once when they're sober, once when they're drunk. The idea had to sound good in both states before they'd start acting on it.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady]

The Slurpee capital of the world. For more than 20 years in a.

[John Holmberg]

Row.

[Brady]

Has been in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Their 7 11s there have the highest sales of slurpees per store.

[John Holmberg]

They drink Slurpees in Canada?

[Brady]

Yeah, Winnipeg.

[John Holmberg]

Just where you can go outside and scoop a slurpee off the ground most of the year. They go in and actually think they'd.

[Dick Toledo]

Get that Hawaiian syrup or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You got ice everywhere.

[Brett]

Shaved ice. Yeah.

[Brady]

According to the study.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe I could sell ice to an Eskimo.

[Brady]

Mornings are actually the happiest time of day when people are happier and more satisfied, less downbeat. You ready for this?

[John Holmberg]

No, they're not.

[Brady]

Experts analyzed data from almost 50,000 adults throughout two years and found that regardless of the day a person wakes up in a good mood.

[John Holmberg]

What.

[Brady]

Where are.

[John Holmberg]

What Scientology study is this. Nobody wakes up.

[Brady]

That is the best they're going to feel all day.

[John Holmberg]

That's the. That is the worst part of my day. Every day.

[Brady]

I said it's a bit of a roller coaster after that, with a big dip around 10:30. But there's another surge of happiness around 6pm People are getting off work, having dinner.

[John Holmberg]

You're free.

[Brady]

Like, there's a downturn throughout the evening.

[John Holmberg]

Catch that. Happiness had something to do with getting dinner.

[Brady]

And the least happy time is midnight.

[John Holmberg]

Did you throw in the dinner? Was it written on that? Okay.

[Brady]

Getting off work and having dinner.

[John Holmberg]

It's highlighted. Well, that's late yesterday.

[Dick Toledo]

Mouth hugs in the morning.

[John Holmberg]

Second dinner. It's almost bedtime.

[Brady]

They didn't address morning people versus night owls or any other factors.

[John Holmberg]

Since I've switched my schedule and I've had to go. This week's been tough because I've got Phoenix open stuff and some things to do in the daytime. So I've had to kind of adjust to get sleep at night again. And I have had an alarm wake me a couple times. Having no alarm wake you, being in control of your sleep and having it changes your sleep completely. If you're a person like me, if you're what Brady's talking about, and these people who love waking up have at it. But if you're like me and an alarm clock might as well be a sledgehammer. I've eliminated the alarm clock from my life, and it is. It's a game changer, man. It's when I sleep, I don't have to worry about when I wake up. I just wake up when I'm done sleeping. And sometimes it's only like three hours because I sleep so comfortably knowing that I can't miss anything. It's amazing. Of course, then again, evidently, it makes me look like a predator, but.

[Brady]

More dinner Talk. Survey found 63% of Americans watch TV while eating dinner. Now 41% talk to their people that they're having dinner with.

[John Holmberg]

Well, 41% are eating. Are eating. Brady's envelopes.

[Brady]

28% use their phone. 16% listen music, 8% read.

[John Holmberg]

People read and eat at the same time. That's like juggling. Well, I'd say that 61. This is just at home.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

During dinner.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Everybody watches TV during dinner.

[Brady]

Yeah. Sometimes it's TVs on. That's right.

[John Holmberg]

We created great rooms for that reason. So the kitchen was part of the TV room.

[Dick Toledo]

Lisa went through a big phase where the TV was off.

[John Holmberg]

When we had the boys on then. And then it stopped. Because you realized that people have nothing to do with each other.

[Dick Toledo]

100%.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Forcing conversation in a family is the worst thing you can do. It is going to end in a fight.

[Dick Toledo]

When the boys were out of the house, first time, first dinner Lisa and I had, we were sitting at the table, TV's off, almost dead quiet. And she looks at me and she goes, so this is how it's gonna.

[John Holmberg]

This is it for good?

[Dick Toledo]

And I said, yup.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you have to have natural conversations. Usually TV sparks that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep. Well, I can't have it on now because all it is is trump this, trump that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, in your house. That's terrible. Oh, is that right? Oh, she goes crazy. Has she gone crazy herself?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, she's beside her.

[John Holmberg]

We've lost her.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, she gone.

[John Holmberg]

Is she deranged or is she logical?

[Dick Toledo]

Not quite deranged, but not quite logical either.

[John Holmberg]

Are you get on board or get out?

[Dick Toledo]

No, I just said, look, look, relax. What is. What is eventually about our lives right now? Yeah, but what about all these DEI stuff? And I'm like, it was there before. The same argument we had on this show. It was there before.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You're just getting rid of a policy.

[John Holmberg]

People aren't saying they don't want diversity at work. They're saying they don't want to be forced to have diversity at work. I think that's the best way to put it. Like, I want all sorts of different people at my work, but I don't want to have, like, geez, Toledo sure is qualified for this job, but we've already got a bunch of white guys, and I have to hire someone I don't really want to hire because of a thing that my work's making me do. That's all that is.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, I told you guys, like, her sister, who's a millennial, called her. She lives in Minnesota, works for a big company. And she said, I've just had the worst day of my life. And she said, why? And she goes, well, we just announced we got rid of DEI policies. I'm like, that's your worst day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You all right? Yeah, but I don't get to work next to people who look different.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you do. They're still there.

[John Holmberg]

They're still there. You should have to hire someone with a feather boa just because you're old. Maybe he will be the best for the job.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, I told her, I said, maybe glam it up a little bit. Maybe become that person.

[John Holmberg]

And like I always say to people who are in the DEI thing. All right, well, I'm gonna fire Toledo. Like, you just tell her John fired me today. Go home and say the DEI thing. You're right. John fired me today. And just to. He brought in a homosexual.

[Dick Toledo]

All of them, every letter.

[John Holmberg]

Swiss African. Like everything you can imagine. Just Swiss African. They're really good. They taste like cocoa. Yeah. And I. And I replaced you with somebody.

[Brady]

Yeah, don't do that.

[John Holmberg]

I replaced you with somebody that checks all the boxes.

[Dick Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And then I sent you home unemployed and see if she's still into the DEI thing. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

If she still supports it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Or her job. I mean, she's teacher.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. She should want to get fired from that morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Police are praising the heroic actions of a local pilot who confronted and stopped a 15 year old who entered a Texarkana Regional Airport in Arkansas on Tuesday morning. Brandishing a couple of guns, the kid walked up to the front counter, had a high powered rifle and a handgun and demanded a plane purse at the front counter. After the kid basically put one in the chamber, pointed at him, ran out into the back office, was able to get out way. The kid didn't fire shot, but he alerted the police. That's when the kid went out on the tarmac, basically. And a local pilot retrieved his firearm from his truck, confronted the teen as he breached security onto the airfield.

[John Holmberg]

Can't do that. He's going down.

[Brady]

Ordering him to get on the ground. The teen complied.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, don't go running around airports with guns. Just a. That's a good rule.

[Brady]

I also went to his car, shotgun was all common sense to me, and.

[John Holmberg]

Say, well, that's missing.

[Brady]

Well, but usually the kids going in there and you know, luckily the kid, you know what didn't want to fire your heritage.

[Dick Toledo]

Makes you more firearms aware, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yes, but still, yeah, I don't trust this guy.

[Brett]

Seems pretty common sense to me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it is.

[Brady]

An Italian doctor has been placed under investigation.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

After giving his cat a CAT scan at a hospital before performing a life saving operation.

[John Holmberg]

It's got to be a joke on the cat.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Here comes Gianluca Finelli. Took the animal called Athena to the Umberto Perini Hospital in northern Italy. And so the cat fell from a building six stories. Dude went in there. Gianluca put the cat in the CAT scan to look it over, and then performed surgery on the cat. Saved its life. It was a life or death thing, according to him.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great.

[Brady]

But the reason why he's under investigation, he's using taxpayer money and could be basically preventing humans to use that machine at that time. His argument back is it was after hours. The facility was closed. He's the manager of the facility. He was able to open it up and, you know, turn everything on.

[John Holmberg]

Why can't you just pay him? If they're like, hey, this should have cost you a certain amount. Just pay him.

[Brady]

Well, they're putting him under investigation where they should suspend his license or.

[John Holmberg]

But his cat's alive.

[Brady]

Look, money. Money solves that whole thing, right, Brett?

[Brett]

God damn right.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get too mouthy. They'll cover. Doesn't seem like such a bad thing if I had life saving skills and I and my pet was.

[Brady]

Knew what to do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, definitely.

[Brady]

Luann Hahn attended a Miami Marlins matchup against a divisional foe and Atlanta Braves. This happened last last season, and the Marlins had a promotion going. Bark in the park.

[John Holmberg]

They do that a lot. They do show up.

[Brady]

Well, it turned into a slip in the park. She says one of the pups took a tinkle at the ballpark. No one cleaned it up and she slipped on it. Now she's suing the Marlins.

[John Holmberg]

Owns the Marlins.

[Brady]

Well, they won't have to worry about owning or she owning because she's asking for $50,000.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Just give it to her. Would you sue your favorite sports franchise for that kind of thing?

[Brett]

No, that's a move.

[John Holmberg]

It is a move.

[Brett]

No, no, absolutely not.

[John Holmberg]

Like if the Suns had a puddle on the floor and I slipped and fell and broke my leg or something. I'm not dipping into their money for that.

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

Well, there's people that. I mean, like a spill on the floor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Or a dog. Piso mojo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Piso mojado most of the time.

[Brady]

They always put that.

[John Holmberg]

If that's not there, sure. But if it's not there.

[Brady]

But I'm not blaming the.

[John Holmberg]

But if I'm not going to sue the suns for like $10 million and make it so they have some financial barriers they have to get. I'm. I'm. They're my boys. Steelers. I'm not suing the Steelers because it's a badge of honor to have broken my leg at Hines Field and that for sure.

[Dick Toledo]

Changes come in and you've got guardrails everywhere and you're.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you wreck it for everyone else. Keep your feet.

[Brady]

What if you're in a coma?

[John Holmberg]

Then I'm not family member anyway.

[Brady]

Well, no, the family. You want the family to know? Don't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I might call Kent at Trajan today and say that if I ever fall at a Steelers game or anything like.

[Brady]

That, my family spine on the fall. You're paraplegic.

[John Holmberg]

Clumsy. I should have probably watched out for that puddle, I suppose, huh? Real steel. All the other Steeler fans stayed upright. Sounds like a me problem. If I'm the only one. If there was like 80 of us that fell down and broke our spines and we're in comas. Steelers have some culpability if it's just me. Sounds like I'm a clumsy C word. Now, if I do that in the Raiders stadium. That's mine.

[Brett]

Well, now, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Back in the day, it's kind of like I'm gonna try to break the Raiders if I fall at the Cardinal stadium. That's mine. But I'm not suing my own.

[Brady]

Got an update on.

[John Holmberg]

Would you sue Ohio State if you were the only one who fell down and got hurt?

[Brady]

Initially, I would say. I wouldn't think so. I mean, I wouldn't. I've. You know, if it was something that was. Oh, it wasn't a fixed deal. It should have been fixed.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady]

Like if the roof was leaking.

[Brett]

Negligence.

[John Holmberg]

But you're the only one.

[Brady]

But I'm the only one that.

[John Holmberg]

You're the only one broke something. Then it's. Then it's you, my man. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm suing Ryan Day. That's it. That's it. It's the Ohio State Brady eyes. I'm gonna own this. Yeah, if it's just a line of people one after another after another. Somebody should do something about this. We're losing a lot of fans. Will somebody mob that spot already? What if it's just you? You're a clumsy. Don't wreck it for everyone else.

[Brady]

Little update on the war in Ukraine, drones are now launching drones to attack other drones.

[John Holmberg]

We have drone launching drones. That's Pablo's old joke. I build robot that builds a robot. His robot built robots for him. Wow. Drones that launched smaller drones. It's the Russian nesting drones to attract.

[Brady]

To attack other drones.

[John Holmberg]

But why can't the big one attack.

[Brady]

In the drone wars?

[John Holmberg]

It is the drone wars. That's pretty cool. How will we know who wins wars in the future? Just. I guess we're just out of them.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Whoever's got down to our last drone standing.

[John Holmberg]

Last drone standing wins. You could lose to a really tiny Asian country.

[Dick Toledo]

And then do we get to go out?

[Brady]

Probably will.

[John Holmberg]

Like Indonesia, Indonesia and places that Toledo travels.

[Dick Toledo]

Cambodia.

[John Holmberg]

They're going to run the world with their tiny little hands, Those drone building hands. We're too fat. Our fingers are too fat to build drones fast enough to keep up with those Indonesians.

[Brett]

Think how fast they build Air Jordans. I mean, how fast they can get those drones out there.

[John Holmberg]

That's the most correct racist statement I've ever heard in my life. Think of how fast those people build our Air Jordan. How can we win a war?

[Brady]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Tell me I'm wrong. No, it's correct. And also wildly insensitive, so you know it's right.

[Brady]

A judge in upstate New York was just forced to resign. He had tried to get out of jury duty by insisting that he couldn't be impartial because he believed that all defendants are guilty. Anyone that enters my court is guilty. Yep. Because if you end up in my court, the only reason you are because you're guilty.

[John Holmberg]

I agree with that. That'll teach you a lesson not to be close to the illegal activities. I've always said that. I don't think anybody on death row doesn't deserve to be there. Maybe they didn't commit the crime, but they were way too close to it. It's. Well, I almost started to argue with him. Like, you're right. He's right. If you went to jail for a murder and then you said, I didn't do it, I'd be like, yeah, but where were you? Oh, the guy next to me started. Like you were too close to it. Like, satriale, what do you want me to do? We were having some gabagool. I had proj on the way, and next thing you know, place is a bloodbath. You're too close to the murder. Like, nobody. The Brady will never be arrested for, you know, a murder that comes with a death sentence. You just won't. You have to be involved at least in some sort of one degree removed situation to be that close where the cops are like, he did this. I don't think you're just completely 100% innocent and get arrested for. Especially nowadays with DNS. No, I think, I think that people get arrested for crimes as they didn't actually commit. But they were close. They were so close that the evidence and a jury and everybody said, yeah, you. I don't think. I think, yeah, I. I don't think you can go to death row as a. I was just minding my own business. Next thing you know. And then a jury convicted me.

[Brady]

Railroading in court. Like, we'll have this guy.

[John Holmberg]

I've never really believed that any. At least for white guys. What white guys? White guys were never railroaded. If you're white and on death row, you did something terrible. You might not have done the crime you're in there for, but you were so close to it that you deserve probably to be there. Nobody Brady's never just walked down the road like you. You going to jail for capital murder. And they, hey, I was nowhere near it. Then you go to court.

[Brady]

I've been a clown for 50 years.

[John Holmberg]

Somehow or another, all the evidence stacks up against you. Even though you were completely innocent, the jury sees it that way. You get the death penalty from the judge. You did something almost as bad by being like not having an alibi to death sentence. It's never going to happen to me or Toledo.

[Brett]

Why'd you skip over me?

[John Holmberg]

I could kind of see a scenario or two.

[Brett]

No, no, no, no.

[Brady]

The CEO Anheuser Busch wants you to stop calling their beer a domestic and start calling it American beer.

[John Holmberg]

That's what domestic means.

[Brady]

Budweiser already uses the slogan Great American Lager. But he wants stores and restaurants to stop using domestic. For any beer made in the U.S. that's fine.

[John Holmberg]

We know what domestic. It's too hard for people to understand what it means. You know, it was hilarious. Last night I was watching the news and there was a lady with a very thick Spanish accent on. On. And she was. And I. And I thought of you Indians because she's like, what is going on in this country is. She's a rosy Rosie Perez. What's going on in this country is terrible, Billy. We're a nation of immigrants. And I just thought the Indians had to hear that accent say that and go, ain't this a. Now they're saying it. This is garbage. Not thing. You know, the black. So sad they have to sit back and suck that phrase in every time one of us and I. Anybody who's not an Indian is who I'm talking to. Says we're a nation of immigrants at that, right? I guess we are a nation of immigrants, not a bunch of people who cross the border illegally and took our staff. I think Indians are laughing right now at the immigration problem. It sucks, doesn't it? They have got to be watching this, going. Yep, that's what happens. We better stop that because I'm the. I'm the. Lesson learned. Really.

[Brady]

Got a couple of pretty videos. I think this first one, I'm not sure. Brett, you might have done this one. All right. But it's a dude working in a factory. Looks like he's working on a boiler or something.

[Dick Toledo]

We've done it, but it's a good reminder.

[Brady]

It's a stay away from boy vaporization.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, a full deletion. Brett, turn away from this just in case this gives you some ideas. You can vaporize people.

[Dick Toledo]

Think about what he hasn't seen.

[John Holmberg]

But vaporizing a man might. Might become a habit.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on, now.

[John Holmberg]

Make it work, Richard.

[Dick Toledo]

Authenticating. Authenticating.

[John Holmberg]

See, he could have done this before.

[Dick Toledo]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

The waiting part should have been. We'll cut this out in the final edit. Cut it in post all this part could have been done. Stretch prepared. Kupd, Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

Go back to Rosie.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe I will hire a DEA for. What are you doing over there, Billy? People want the videos, Billy. All right, guys. Working around. It's like a big, big old tank of steam. You say?

[Brady]

No, it's a. Oh, Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

It just erupted and shot him in the face.

[Brady]

There's nothing but manfetti coming down.

[John Holmberg]

Raining, man. Not like the gay one.

[Brett]

Where's the weather girls at?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is, man. One dude and whatever he's standing on blows up in where he's standing only. And shoots daylight through his ass.

[Brett]

Almost looks like a laser.

[John Holmberg]

And then quick, it's.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, it's him.

[John Holmberg]

Like torn paper.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, I think I counted seven.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brett]

And that's pretty cool it.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, I'm gonna go with you on this. See, I told you it was an accident. Why? Just where he's standing and I'm. It's just some sort of a little portal into whatever he's working on. Wow. That's pretty amazing. I didn't know your body could be blown up into confetti like that.

[Brady]

Next one's a wow. Pedicure or hillbilly chewing. Now it's the Third. Oh, you got the self shoeing.

[John Holmberg]

This isn't that. This is people with a shop vac and three hillbillies. Yeah, that's the last one with a shop vac.

[Dick Toledo]

The last one.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, let's do this one since it's okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's no particular order here. So they're shooting gas onto a fire.

[Brady]

With a shot into a shop back to blow the gas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they're on fire.

[Brett]

That's me filming.

[John Holmberg]

And then, of course, the wise hillbilly grabbed the gas can next to the giant fire.

[Brady]

And to go with your.

[Dick Toledo]

Was it your airplane argument. Don't wear nylon clothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, don't have any. It'll burn onto you. Well, how about that, though? These Indiana knobs with I Love Hot Mom's tank tops on are on fire. And the guy filming it's still laughing.

[Brett]

That would be me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Nobody is calling the police.

[Brady]

Here's the pedicure. Oh, this is heel shaving.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. What country is this? Do we know? Oh, my God. They're using a paring knife to cut.

[Brady]

Off calloused that deep.

[John Holmberg]

Massive calluses on this Indian woman's foot. I'm Mexican. Never mind. That's circle K feature. Oh, my God. That it is. It's like carving up prime rib, only it's a human. It's a human foot.

[Brady]

It is, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why is Rosie Perez doing the play by play? Everyone asked during the Paul Tyson fight. More so on that. Look at the chunks. That's like a half inch cut foot cheese. And that's just from walking around barefoot all the time. What does esos p not a k ver mean?

[Brett]

I don't know, but Indian Rosie Perez is killing me.

[John Holmberg]

Five toes Zappas is feet, isn't it? Or shoes.

[Brady]

I'm not Zappos.

[John Holmberg]

I think you might be right again. I quit duolingo after apple.

[Brady]

Last one's guy on a rope swing trying to swing into the water. He's midway up this little platform. Cool.

[John Holmberg]

Like ladder. It's like a fireman's ladder over a lake. And evidently you get to the top and you just leap in. But he's halfway up and he's got pants on, doesn't he? Or he's just that wide.

[Brady]

He's got pants.

[John Holmberg]

No, he doesn't. Those are shorts. And then he hangs himself. Did he scream, I did this for you? Oh. He lets go of the rope on his way back to the ground. He keeps that slap. He missed that. The whole lake.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, how do you. This is harder to do.

[Brady]

Than he's at Clooney's place in Lake.

[John Holmberg]

It's Lake Cuomo. Yeah. And then he swings back. That's his body not hitting water. And there is an abundance of water to hit. I don't know how he missed it. That is a big lake that he and I don't know how you missed that, sir. You deserve that. You can't sue the Steelers over that. That's your fault.

[Brady]

That's the slide rock of Italy.

[John Holmberg]

Besides that, going back to that argument, Art Rooney would come to my hospital bed after I wake up from my coma, and he would say, sorry that this happened to you. And I said, don't you worry about it. You're my boy. Runes. I'm not suing you. And he would hand me a check anyway.

[Brady]

But you couldn't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Decent franchise.

[Brady]

You couldn't do that pat on the chest.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe not. Someone has to do it. Yeah. Brady's talking about my visual that I gave him a heart pound. Yeah, you're right. Maybe I would have to just kind of wink or.

[Brady]

You're my boy.

[John Holmberg]

Beep it out. Yeah, the computer would have to read out, don't worry, I won't sue you. You're my boy. Blue. They run. And it's all right that I can just get season tickets. And he would hand me a check because he's decent. Ohio State, Ryan. They would come into your hot their hospital bed and put a pillow over your face to not talk about that scandal.

[Brady]

I have something for you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No college would be loyal to you. They would kill you. They don't give up money. Cardinals would kill you. Ishba likes throwing money around. He. If he slipped and fell there, you wouldn't have to sue them. He'd come with a check before the lawsuits. Bears would kill you. Oh, yeah. Seahawks might give a check. Yeah, that's a good organization.

[Dick Toledo]

Definitely. When Paul Allen was still alive, Diamondbacks would kill you.

[John Holmberg]

Diamondbacks? Oh, yeah. They get rid of stuff. Really?

[Brett]

Cubs.

[John Holmberg]

Cubs would kill you before you fell down the A's, before you even hit the ground.

[Brady]

They would sue you.

[John Holmberg]

They'd sue you for mucking up Wrigley Field for. How dare you. You made a. You screwed up Wrigley Field for an hour. This place is a cathedral. What are you laying down for? Yeah, besides, you just blend in with all the drunk, fat Chicagoans that are at the game in the first place. On the ground. Brett, what do you got?

[Brett]

All right, now, we're a little light today, so we'll start off with some Horseshoeing.

[John Holmberg]

Horseshoeing horse. Oh, I didn't know we had to shoe our horse.

[Brett]

She's not that big.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It's a baby. It isn't a Shetland, but it's a. It's a colt, I believe. Horse turned around. Ladies faces behind the horse. Last place you want to be is behind the horse. Only two things can happen here. It's going to. Oh, and that's the one I was most worried about. A double kick to the forehead. Because she was too dumb to move. Yeah.

[Brady]

But still had to touch it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She reached out to touch its butt and it said, I told you not to do that. In its own way. And that's a baby.

[Brett]

Now this one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. Okay. This guy's chipping fired golf balls.

[Brett]

I don't know if this is fake or what because it just.

[John Holmberg]

It's real. These are hillbillies.

[Brett]

But then.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, that's all right. This hillbilly was chipping flaming golf balls into a small pile of compost. And then. Oh, geez, sorry. Pine trees into the compost. And then the compost lights on fire. And then it cuts to a forest fire like. But that's exactly what would happen when hillbillies chipped flaming golf balls. Flaming golf balls. Pretty good band name.

[Brett]

There's some truck stop mishaps.

[John Holmberg]

All right, this is a full on drag of blood from entire tracks. And we're looking at about a tenth of a mile so far.

[Brady]

What is it?

[John Holmberg]

A lot of blood, a lot of chunks. We're walking towards a truck. I'm seeing denim chunks are getting a little thicker as we get closer to the truck. There's some intestines there. This looks like a big chunk of man coming up at us here. This is. Now we're looking at. That looks to be a lot of skin, a lot of blood, and there's just. There's just two legs hanging out from under the back two tires of an 18 wheeler and on the other side of those tires is a head and an arm. Yeah. And there's no real.

[Brady]

Back it up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We don't need to be too hasty on getting the authorities down there for this one. Just a, a power washer and a bucket.

[Brett]

You should like this one. This is to kind of go along with the podiatry video from earlier.

[John Holmberg]

The foot toes, big toes removed. Today she's having her big toes removed. Look at my pretty view. And she's in a doctor's office. I guess it looks like maybe a holistic. Oh, big toenails.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, this is what Alex had done.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I've watched this on that toe. That toe show. Does he spin them off or do. So he's carving off this lady's big toenail from underneath him from the base up. And it is not a delicate operation here. What was wrong with her? Toenails were all fungus stuff. Just ripped it off into a chop shop. Wash your feet, slut.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'll take a piece off.

[John Holmberg]

We do have to horseshoe. Oh, he is, Case.

[Dick Toledo]

It was a hangnail.

[John Holmberg]

Digging this thing out with a knife. Okay. Yeah. She doesn't feel anything. Well, they numb it.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, they localize it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Look at all the blood where her toenail was.

[Brady]

I'll just put a band aid on it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's just. And that's it, guys. No, I need. I got questions. Why you had that in the first place? Why do you have your whole seemingly. Okay, painted toenail ripped off going to a chop shop? Yeah.

[Brady]

Yep. I hear it.

[Brett]

Walk around bare feet all the time. Circle K feet.

[Brady]

You'll lose a toenail.

[John Holmberg]

No, you won't. You have to do some serious not washing to lose a toenail. If your toenail. Oh, you get an infection because you're not clean. You can get an infect. That person has to.

[Brady]

Well, because.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. They have to do some damage to make that bad. And then once you get. Just put your toe in some peroxide for half an hour. If you start. If your toes starts hurting, figure it out. You get your toenail ripped off.

[Brady]

You don't know, man.

[John Holmberg]

I do know, because I've got all 10 toenails. Never lost one, and I've cut my finger.

[Brady]

You know why you've never gone to a chop shop?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brady's been indoctrinated by his wife into thinking that anywhere she doesn't work is a chop shop. I've had that conversation with her several times. I'm like, I went up to this place on 32nd street and like, a chop shop. I'm like, they second a Lincoln. The place is packed. Like, chop, chop. Why? What does that mean? Are they doing car parts in the back? What am I missing?

[Brett]

If you said 59th Avenue in Indian school, then, okay, maybe, but.

[John Holmberg]

And then you'd ask me, what are you doing over there? Why are your shoes off in that area? I deserve muckfoot. If I'm walking around my feet off in 59th Avenue in Indian school, it's.

[Brett]

Because you're trying to throw your shoes over the electric wires up there.

[Brady]

Chop, chop.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, Jesus Christ. But I have not had that problem at 32nd street in Lincoln. You'll see, all right? One of these days, someone will get it, and it'll be proven right. You don't hear about it too often. As often as Ronnie will scream that at you. I don't hear about a lot of those places getting shut down. There are an awful lot of Asian women.

[Dick Toledo]

They just go away, don't they?

[John Holmberg]

Don't. It's just a lot of Asian women that float over here to be foot washers. Yes, a lot.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you think? Do you think they teach young girls over there?

[John Holmberg]

I think it's just because it's so simple. Well, I've said this before.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, you're right.

[John Holmberg]

I'm right. Anyone can just start. You have to have a license. All right. Go prove you can trim someone's toes, then.

[Brady]

You're in a chop shop.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You, Earl. Shib a little pain on there.

[Dick Toledo]

What's that? Policy. You fill out a form online and submit it to the city.

[John Holmberg]

Not hard. And also, you go through training.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Ronnie did. I'm saying you don't have to. You can open up a.

[Dick Toledo]

So there's a box on the. On the application that says, have you been trained?

[John Holmberg]

Check. Check. Do you have your certificate? Got it at Party City yesterday. Check. Yep. And then you have to pretend to not speak English, trim toes, and then scrape with a cheese grater the bottom of somebody's foot, and a white woman will pay you to be her biblical slave for 40 minutes.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that what you're studying on duolingo so you can go to the.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

Nail shop.

[John Holmberg]

No, I. No. I wanted to learn Spanish, but it got hard. It's too hard. Takes up too much time.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, like my son with Japanese.

[John Holmberg]

Trim your own toenails, paint your own toenails, and if you don't, just admit you like having a slave at your feet. Washing your feet. That's all it is. I felt horrible for those little Asian ladies on their knees, but just scrubbing my feet, and I'm like, look, this is too much to ask any other human to do. Oh, I want to. Nobody wants to wash my effing feet. Oh, no. I come here for this reason. I left being a doctor for this. Yep, that's right. This isn't for women in Paradise Valley to feel like they still got slaves.

[Brady]

You told me the first time you walked into that place, the lady in the front desk said, stay away from him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, the kids weren't allowed in there. I want my feet. And they ran like I was Godzilla. Yeah, that's, that's all that stuff is thousands of Asian people. Think of it. All of California and here and every one of them Asians Albuquerque cleaning feet.

[Brady]

All their rubbing you up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Their nails shops are all Asians. They came over here from Chihuahuan Hui, landed in Albuquerque and started washing the feet of the Albuquerque. Just because they realized that no matter where you are in America, there's a group of white women that want slaves. Period. End of story. That's it. There you go everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock medias station. He said fully erected.