02-06-25 - Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae - Dale Agrees w/John That Brady Isn't Washing His Ass Correctly - How Long Could Dale Stand Around Before Cops Are Called

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (02-06-25) Hosted by John Holmberg with guest Dale Hellestrae | Released on February 6, 2025

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1. Introduction and Guest's NFL Background Timestamp: [00:35] - [01:45]

The episode kicks off with a lively introduction of Dale Hellestrae, a former Dallas Cowboys offensive lineman. John Holmberg highlights Dale's impressive career, joking about his Super Bowl titles and NFL tenure.

• Holmberg: "Three time Super Bowl champion, 17-year NFL veteran." [00:58]
• Dale Hellestrae: Corrects Holmberg, noting, "17." [01:04]
• Holmberg: Playfully dismisses Dale's last year with the Ravens as a non-count. [01:05]

The hosts engage in friendly banter, setting a humorous and relaxed tone for the episode.

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2. Misidentification of Bell's Palsy Timestamp: [03:07] - [04:00]

A humorous misunderstanding arises when a lady mistakes John Holmberg for someone suffering from Bell's palsy. This mix-up becomes a focal point for light-hearted jokes and personal anecdotes.

• Holmberg: "That lady about 18 months ago asked me how long it took for me to fully recover from Bell's palsy." [03:14]
• Dale Hellestrae: Teases Holmberg, saying, "You have eight inches of butt crack." [12:43]
• Holmberg: Reflects on the incident, sharing, "She thought I was on the comeback train. Nope." [03:36]

Dale supports Holmberg, emphasizing the ridiculousness of the situation and adding to the comedic atmosphere.

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3. Personal Health Anecdotes Timestamp: [10:23] - [12:00]

The conversation shifts to personal health experiences, with Holmberg sharing a past mishap involving hemorrhoids.

• Holmberg: Describes accidentally popping a hemorrhoid on his mother's white carpet, leading to a comical yet embarrassing situation. [10:55]
• Dale Hellastray: Comments on the severity, "I didn't know why she owned the rack, but why am I in this way?" [05:41]
• Holmberg: Reflects, "I've popped one on my mom's carpet... that was horrible." [11:13]

These anecdotes provide a blend of humor and relatability, showcasing the hosts' ability to discuss personal topics openly.

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4. The Hygiene Debate: Proper Way to Wash Timestamp: [04:37] - [10:37]

A significant portion of the episode delves into a comedic yet informative debate about the proper way to maintain personal hygiene, specifically focusing on anal cleanliness.

• Dale Hellastray: Challenges Brady, "You got to be clean down there." [04:40]
• Holmberg: Engages in a playful argument, "He's on his way to being bottom now." [02:05]
• Brady: Attempts to explain his hygiene routine, "I hose it off first." [08:16]

The hosts explore different cleaning methods, blending humor with genuine discussion on personal hygiene practices.

• Holmberg: "You wipe from the top of the crack down. What is going on in there?" [08:24]
• Dale Hellastray: Advises thorough cleaning, "You can take the wiping... always a little more." [10:23]

This segment combines educational content with the show's signature humor, making an otherwise mundane topic entertaining.

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5. Cardi B's Butt-Washing Tutorial Timestamp: [18:39] - [19:15]

The conversation takes a humorous turn as the hosts reference Cardi B's (incorrectly attributed) tutorial on proper anal hygiene.

• Brett: Introduces a video clip, "No, no, no, this is Cardi B explaining how to wipe your ass." [18:39]
• Cardi B (Audio Clip): Provides a step-by-step guide, "Spread your butt cheeks, take your half of your finger inside your ass." [18:41]
• Holmberg: Reacts, "That's exactly Brady. Cardi B should teach you one thing." [19:13]

This segment leverages popular culture to enhance the humor surrounding the hygiene debate, with the hosts playfully criticizing each other's cleanliness habits.

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6. Hypothetical Police Intervention over Girl Scout Cookies Timestamp: [12:07] - [14:37]

Shifting gears, the hosts engage in a speculative discussion about what would happen if someone stood outside selling Girl Scout cookies for an extended period.

• Holmberg: "How long would it take until the cops are called with you just standing?" [12:07]
• Dale Hellastray: Suggests, "They would probably come and give me a box of cookies. I could stand there for a couple hours and then stay there." [12:11]
• Brett: Jokes about being a troublemaker, "No, no, Dale. You look like you're just waiting for the cat to come out." [12:48]

The hosts humorously debate the potential outcomes, mixing absurdity with analytical thinking about law enforcement responses.

• Holmberg: "Would you rat someone out? If you were going to go to jail and you didn't know who did it?" [13:54]
• Dale Hellastray: Affirms, "In a heartbeat." [14:00]

This segment showcases the hosts' camaraderie and their ability to turn hypothetical scenarios into engaging and humorous discussions.

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7. Upcoming Promotions and Breaks Timestamp: [19:26] - [19:48]

As the episode progresses, John Holmberg introduces a brief promotion for Prestige Billiards, offering listeners a discount code.

• Holmberg: "Brought to you by Prestige Billiards... use the code Meathead98 for 10% discount online or in one of their three stores." [19:31]
• Dale Hellastray: Agrees, "Made a mistake once... it was horrible." [19:43]

The hosts smoothly transition between content segments and promotional material, maintaining the show's engaging flow.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness blends humor, personal anecdotes, and lighthearted debates to entertain listeners. From discussing NFL careers and personal health mishaps to debating the nuances of hygiene and engaging in playful hypotheticals, the hosts create an engaging and relatable listening experience. Notable interactions, such as the misidentification of Bell's palsy and the humorous critique of Brady's hygiene habits, highlight the chemistry among John Holmberg, Dale Hellestrae, and the supporting hosts. Whether sharing embarrassing stories or dissecting everyday topics with wit, this episode exemplifies why Holmberg's Morning Sickness remains Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

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[Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com oh, my goodness. Watch this. Ladies and gentlemen, three time Super bowl champion. Shut up. I'm doing something for you.

[Brady]

Jeez.

[Holmberg]

Recognize.

[Dale Hellastray]

Jeez Louise.

[Holmberg]

Three time Super bowl champion, 16 year NFL veteran intro.

[Dale Hellastray]

17.

[Holmberg]

And we're not counting that last year. That thing with the Ravens was a joke. That didn't count as football.

[Dale Hellastray]

It's not a joke on my pension.

[Holmberg]

That's true. You did get that extra. All right.

[Brady]

Gets a hoodie every year.

[Holmberg]

17 * Years as an NFL veteran. Dale Hellasre joining us once again on Thursdays brought to you by Prestige Billiards. Prestigious having a spring cleaning special selling their overstocked items. Use the code Meathead98 for 10% discount online or in one of their three stores, Scottsdale, Mesa or now Glendale Prestige Billiards AZ.com Wonderful, Dale. Hell astray.

[Dale Hellastray]

Thank you, Jill. Thank you, Jill. What? Jill got something done that took six months.

[Holmberg]

I had to make the phone call to make this happen.

[Dale Hellastray]

Geez Louise.

[Holmberg]

I put the screws to it, you guys.

[Dale Hellastray]

Everybody's friendly with me now. Johnny.

[Holmberg]

I know. I'm sorry.

[Dale Hellastray]

Everybody.

[Holmberg]

The people who hate you in this building talked to you as you walked down the hall. We noticed that.

[Dale Hellastray]

Hey, it's hard not to like me.

[Holmberg]

You're an earner.

[Dale Hellastray]

It's hard not to like me.

[Holmberg]

You are an earner. Earner. You're no longer. You're on your way to being bottom now. You're like the pimps in the building are recognizing that you deliver. You brought some cash. The envelopes. That's right.

[Brett]

Goddamn right.

[Holmberg]

His envelope is no longer light.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Dale Hellastray]

I mean, Brett's a hard egg to crack over here and he's never been very friendly towards you. But he likes me. You can't help but like me. You know what I'm saying?

[Holmberg]

You don't know that.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. I've never, ever, ever had somebody say, keep their kids away from me.

[Holmberg]

I know, it's terrible. Me neither.

[Dale Hellastray]

It's the first time, and you're kind of. You got yourself, like, shaved up and everything.

[Holmberg]

I missed a big patch. I noticed that.

[Brett]

I'm sure that's not the reason.

[Holmberg]

Okay. No, because I didn't shave. I shaved when I got home. So I was a little bit bushy. I had a full. You know, whatever.

[Dale Hellastray]

I've done have that now.

[Holmberg]

No, no, no. The mustache was shaved back.

[Dale Hellastray]

Okay.

[Holmberg]

So I hadn't had my pedal mustache. Everything was on the up and up. And I don't know why that lady did that. And I'm telling you, look, I've got no argument to the ugly.

[Dale Hellastray]

Right? You do.

[Holmberg]

I don't know why you and I should be on the same page here. We'll get into Brady's ass in a second. Because.

[Dale Hellastray]

Dale.

[Holmberg]

Spill. Dale's first sentence was dead on, as I expected. But, yeah, so I've got. That lady about 18 months ago, asked me how long it took for me to fully recover from Bell's palsy. And I was like, what are you talking about? My husband has it and I want to know how long it takes to. And, like. I don't have Bell's palsy.

[Dale Hellastray]

Can you tell me what Bell's. Pause.

[Holmberg]

People have their half their face.

[Dale Hellastray]

Okay.

[Holmberg]

She thought I was on the comeback train.

[Dale Hellastray]

Really?

[Holmberg]

Nope.

[Dale Hellastray]

And I just.

[Holmberg]

Look, I just. I'm just not good looking.

[Dale Hellastray]

You're a miracle. You're a walking miracle.

[Holmberg]

Evidently, I had. She was, like, adamant that I had. Had it.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Dale Hellastray]

Now, see, I. I would have thought you were maybe a chromosome away from down syndrome. No. Yeah, the big head. The Big Head syndrome.

[Holmberg]

Dale syndrome.

[Dale Hellastray]

No, the big Toledo syndrome.

[Holmberg]

Toledo syndrome. Oh, man.

[Brady]

Monolith.

[Holmberg]

No, don't help him. Let's see how long this takes.

[Dale Hellastray]

Monolith.

[Holmberg]

Mongoloid.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah, it seems like you're about an X or a Y. Crows.

[Holmberg]

You know what's better than that insult was the fact that he was too stupid to remember the name.

[Dale Hellastray]

I had it this morning.

[Holmberg]

Anyway. Monorail. No, I'm not. Monolith is the big Easter island heads. He actually. Yeah, he actually thought something smarter than you. Give him a fist and you can fist pound Brady because you know his hands don't have anything. No, he's never touched his.

[Dale Hellastray]

Take care of himself.

[Holmberg]

That's exactly right. Now you're on my page with the ass washing.

[Dale Hellastray]

You got to be clean down there.

[Holmberg]

Got to be clean. And you want it to be reciprocal with your female partner.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yes, because if she's doing male.

[Holmberg]

Well, gross, but okay. You're right, Dale. Yeah, you're right. I'm sure Michael and Troy are my neighbors. Are. Are spotless back.

[Dale Hellastray]

Are they your good friends too?

[Holmberg]

I like them. Very good friends. Michael and Troy, my neighbors. No, they're my neighbors.

[Dale Hellastray]

Okay.

[Holmberg]

I always introduce people that Dale's upset that he doesn' Have a title.

[Dale Hellastray]

No, I joke by my very best friend Mark.

[Holmberg]

I don't say that. I say my friend Mark just so people don't think mark who? And then I say my friend Mark because there's several marks in the building and there used to be.

[Dale Hellastray]

Okay?

[Holmberg]

So when I say my friend Mark, I'm not talking about anybody here. Although the mark is here. It's no longer a thing. But you get upset that I don't go. My buddy Dale.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah, my buddy Dale and I went to the Sun's game.

[Holmberg]

But you're a unique individual. All I have to say is Dale. And they're like, oh, yeah, Dale, that's the guy. You have never once had somebody, like, say something to you in that regard where like, they were worried for their lives or like you threatened them and you didn't realize why they were afraid?

[Dale Hellastray]

No, not unless I meant to.

[Holmberg]

Really? Because Susan down the hall doesn't like it.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah, well, she does now.

[Brett]

She does now.

[Holmberg]

Earner. He's an earner.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah, I'm hearing people. You know, I'm not climb up the stairs and takes me.

[Holmberg]

People are saying, yeah, it's weird.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Before I heard her say last week, my buddy Dale hell is true.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah, yeah. See, I. I think you're lying to me for all.

[Holmberg]

Teach Brady the proper way to wash ass before he talked about Super Bowl.

[Dale Hellastray]

Well, Brady, come on. Obviously you.

[Holmberg]

You even Brett was in on it. You don't just hose off the outside of your car.

[Brett]

Gotta clean the interior.

[Holmberg]

Interior.

[Dale Hellastray]

Right. And again, you. I don't understand why you don't keep yourself clean down there. Just.

[Brady]

I keep yourself clean down there?

[Dale Hellastray]

No, no, you don't just cause the paper.

[Brady]

So outside I consider is the cheeks.

[Dale Hellastray]

The cheeks.

[Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

Where are you getting inside the crack and stuff is interior?

[Holmberg]

No, that's the exterior.

[Dale Hellastray]

You ask a doctor where the outside of your anus.

[Brady]

Around the whole rim. And let me ask you this.

[Holmberg]

Okay, time out. Time out. So then is it penetration just to be between.

[Brady]

No, I'm not throwing a digit.

[Holmberg]

I just asked a simple question based.

[Brady]

That's what I'm doing.

[Holmberg]

Based on your science, is it penetration to go between the cheeks?

[Brady]

No.

[Holmberg]

Then you're still on the exterior.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. No. Your butt cheeks. Do you wipe your butt cheeks?

[Holmberg]

What is. What's going on your butt? Yeah, if you're on the exterior. Otherwise you're penetrating. So if you're saying that the ass crack is interior, that's penetration.

[Brady]

I'm down around you down the leather Cheerio.

[Holmberg]

I'm not asking anything. He's gotta have a cute name for it. Can't be a grown up. I'm not asking about that. Answer my question, though. That, that is. You said that's interior.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

So then that would then by definition be penetration?

[Brady]

Well, I consider penetration going all the.

[Holmberg]

Way in from the exterior to the interior.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Holmberg]

No, it is a tomato. Tomato. No, not tomato. Tomato.

[Dale Hellastray]

He's talking about spreading his butt cheeks.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellastray]

And now diving. Penetrating.

[Holmberg]

But it's all on the outside.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. There's no interior to your ass cheeks.

[Dale Hellastray]

And just because your toilet paper is clean after wiping.

[Holmberg]

That's right.

[Dale Hellastray]

However many times you wipe and everybody take it twice.

[Brady]

So what you're saying is you don't clean crack.

[Holmberg]

He's like the. The owl from the carrier.

[Brady]

You got a good 8 inches of crack before you even get down to the. Where the anus is.

[Holmberg]

What are you doing up there?

[Dale Hellastray]

Where's the poop come from?

[Brady]

It needs to all be cleaned. That hilarious.

[Holmberg]

You wipe from the top of the crack down. What is going on in there?

[Brady]

No, but when I'm cleaning in a shower.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, but we're not talking about it.

[Brett]

We're talking after a dump.

[Holmberg]

Right. Talking after a d. You go and just. You spread a dry towel over it, hose it off a little bit, and then put a pants back.

[Brady]

Hose it off first. Even worse, towel it. Check the paper.

[Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

Hose again. Clean.

[Holmberg]

And the exterior has been clean. Now go to Brett's thing. Is the inside clean?

[Brady]

The inside is clean.

[Brett]

How do you know it's not clean?

[Brady]

Because that's where the jets go on around there. Then you wipe.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's going around there. It's going around there.

[Larry]

I wasn't even going to jump into this whole thing and I'm sitting here listening. So what about wipes?

[Holmberg]

Well, that's the thing we are. Dale and I talked about. First for plumbing. Wipes is terrible. Ask a plumber.

[Larry]

Well, for plumbing. Yeah.

[Dale Hellastray]

Right.

[Holmberg]

Wipes still do a decent job. On the exterior.

[Larry]

On the exterior. But I mean, like, if you're like me and you're a Little bit neurotic.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. You can see you're swiping and wiping.

[Holmberg]

And wiping and wiping the exterior clean, but the interior is not.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah, but you. You can take the wiping.

[Brett]

So Larry's not detailing his interior.

[Holmberg]

You're doing what he's doing.

[Larry]

That's what I'm saying.

[Holmberg]

You go in a little bit with that. Okay, so you're going in a little. Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

So you're getting the inter.

[Larry]

Literally, like, till the. To the point where I shouldn't be wiping anymore.

[Holmberg]

You're spinning with your finger. Yeah, right.

[Larry]

I mean, like. Like this isn't even a.

[Holmberg]

But not Brady going to the bathroom. Yeah, not Brady interior. Like living human.

[Dale Hellastray]

Inches of butt crack.

[Holmberg]

He's got a lot of butt crack.

[Brady]

I said you have eight inches of butt crack.

[Holmberg]

Morning sickness. Can you PD Holmberg's morning sickness. Isolate that phrase. Because for some reason. That's hilarious. No, I said you. That had to be corrected. You have eight inches.

[Dale Hellastray]

What I was gonna say is you can wipe. Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe. And if you get a wipey, a moist wipey, and you. And then you go again, there's always gonna be a little more on there. Yep. There's always a little more.

[Holmberg]

If you go in a little bit, there's. Yeah, always a little bit. That's not being tamed. You know, the toilet paper's not taken care of until you see blood. Until you are a cor. Crying and bleeding.

[Dale Hellastray]

That. Or you smell fish, Right?

[Holmberg]

Well, the fish thing is weird. Trust me. When that happens and I'm very clean back there, I'm like, this is on. Turns out, just a little. If it's a hemorrhoid, it can leave that. Yeah. And then I did it again later. It's gone. So maybe it popped. I don't know how those things work.

[Dale Hellastray]

What, did you bleed out of your.

[Holmberg]

No, but I have done that before. Where? I've popped one. I did it with my fingers because I thought it was a zit or something. I didn't know. Blew it up on my mom's white carpet. I was about 20 years old, and I was laying down late at night. I'm like, something hurts back there. So I was alone, pulled my basketball shorts down. I'm like, there's something there. Gave it a squeeze, and the thing let loose. And I cried. I screamed like somebody was scalping me.

[Dale Hellastray]

Did you bleed on the couch?

[Holmberg]

All over the carpet. I was on the floor. I was laying on the floor, and I gave a squeeze. And I mean, it was like. It was like How'd you get that.

[Dale Hellastray]

Cleaned up dead body?

[Holmberg]

Well, I learned something at a vet's office. Once that peroxide gets blood out immediately.

[Dale Hellastray]

Oh, really?

[Holmberg]

Yeah. So especially if it's just brand new blood. So you just poured peroxide over the white carpet. What's the harm? I got it. My mom came downstairs to scream. There's a woman downstairs.

[Dale Hellastray]

Being in the right is when you're living at your.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, I was probably 20. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dale Hellastray]

You get a hemorrhoid.

[Holmberg]

I did something brutal back there. It was.

[Brady]

He's watching Saved by the bell.

[Holmberg]

I remember there was an incident, and it was. It was a lot. It was some dry.

[Dale Hellastray]

You gotta.

[Holmberg]

You gotta. I learned my lesson and I did.

[Dale Hellastray]

I did. Okay, so. So to change subject real quick, I did hear you guys talk about go stand by girl scout cookies.

[Holmberg]

Yes. How long would it take until the cops are called with you just standing?

[Dale Hellastray]

They would probably come and give me a box of cookies. I could stand there for a couple.

[Holmberg]

Hours and then stay there.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

And that's even weirder.

[Dale Hellastray]

Why?

[Holmberg]

They give you cookies and you just stay there.

[Brady]

And why would you think someone. A guy standing there watching. We don't want to hands him.

[Dale Hellastray]

Oh, I think we'd all have a car. Yeah, everybody would. Yeah. If it's more intense. Who's first? Ye. Yeah, Brett.

[Holmberg]

We said you 6, 5. You stand out the most. He's. I'm curious why he's there. Yeah, Brett's making me nervous.

[Dale Hellastray]

No, he looks like he's troublemaker.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Me. I don't know.

[Dale Hellastray]

I do. You're scary.

[Holmberg]

I look like I'm just waiting for.

[Brett]

The cat to come out. How you doing?

[Holmberg]

Brady's just there. And he would have a hard time not chatting with everybody, so I don't think he could participate. He'd be the longest one talk.

[Dale Hellastray]

You can't talk.

[Holmberg]

Can't say a word.

[Brett]

He'd be okay because they'd keep handing him cookies. He'd keep dying. So he's good.

[Holmberg]

But he would talk. He couldn't. You couldn't get ready to stand?

[Dale Hellastray]

No.

[Holmberg]

Be the weirdo. Without saying.

[Brady]

I'm just playing around.

[Holmberg]

Ladies.

[Brady]

There's my address.

[Brett]

Here's another box of thin mints.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. And you'd be buying cookies. Like. I don't.

[Brady]

I'd start dancing.

[Holmberg]

You couldn't do it. Yeah. You. You'd make a joke or Funny face.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. I would say the order would be of phone calls. Would be Brett.

[Holmberg]

Brett first.

[Dale Hellastray]

You said me third. No way. Brady Ford, you're first.

[Holmberg]

I like that too. You, Brett?

[Dale Hellastray]

No, no.

[Holmberg]

Yes, I think so, too.

[Dale Hellastray]

You're just saying because of my size.

[Holmberg]

But look at my face.

[Dale Hellastray]

My face is nothing but innocence and sweetness.

[Brett]

The villagers would be showing up with pitchforks and stuff if you're just standing there.

[Holmberg]

Come on.

[Dale Hellastray]

Anything in six months. What? Now it's not. He's taking shots. What?

[Holmberg]

You started it all. You said he'd get arrested first. He didn't like that.

[Brett]

So game on.

[Holmberg]

Would you rat someone out? Out? If you were going to go to jail and you didn't do it. But you know who did?

[Dale Hellastray]

In a heartbeat.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, me too.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

You know the Brett would not. Brett would go for five years. Sit down.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah, I did hear that.

[Brett]

Unless it's somebody I know is going to snitch like Brady. I would tell on right away.

[Holmberg]

So all three of us.

[Brett]

I'll tell on YouTube.

[Holmberg]

I'm doing it too.

[Dale Hellastray]

Because you said you're gonna get taken care of when you take care of. What about getting taken care of when you're in there?

[Brett]

Are you taking care of when you're.

[Holmberg]

What I'm saying not that way.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. You're gonna get.

[Dale Hellastray]

You're gonna get taken care of.

[Holmberg]

You're gonna be the one. You're gonna be.

[Brett]

Even if I did, I would be clean. So it doesn't matter.

[Dale Hellastray]

They don't have baby wipes in jail.

[Holmberg]

Still got showers.

[Brady]

Still got showers.

[Holmberg]

That's it.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. You're bed and the S bar.

[Holmberg]

Back to that. Explain to Brady why it's so great to have a clean edge. Go ahead.

[Dale Hellastray]

That's not my forte.

[Holmberg]

Oh, it is your forte. You have mentioned in a few discussions that you.

[Dale Hellastray]

That's off the air.

[Holmberg]

Oh, I see that you enjoy butts.

[Dale Hellastray]

God.

[Holmberg]

It's not just off the air. It's okay. It's a beautiful thing between a man and a woman.

[Dale Hellastray]

Don't understand Brady's approach to like. But why his. Why he's never dabbled out of. Just normal.

[Holmberg]

Touch it.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. Just normal.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. The basics.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. Probably middle Ohio.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellastray]

Missionary is really all you do.

[Holmberg]

The upbringing.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

What's that?

[Dale Hellastray]

And you've done missionary and you drive a sheet because you have a daughter.

[Holmberg]

Right? Right. Yeah. He's done it once, we know.

[Brady]

At least once.

[Holmberg]

We're pretty sure that that actually wasn't a test tube situation. Although, wouldn't surprise me.

[Brady]

It was weird.

[Holmberg]

Dale.

[Dale Hellastray]

Really?

[Brady]

The one time.

[Holmberg]

This is a real question. Did it take you a while to, like, want to try strange stuff?

[Dale Hellastray]

Have you ever. What do you consider strange?

[Holmberg]

I mean, you know, like, you know, like what Dale's talking about. Somebody goes and touches the butt. You touching a butt butt. You putting a finger somewhere. It shouldn't be that kind of stuff. Whereas you find out where you used to think it shouldn't be. Or like, you know, the wheelbarrow or, you know, hitting her.

[Brady]

I've never been in a situation where I feel I've been uncomfortable.

[Dale Hellastray]

No.

[Brady]

Or.

[Holmberg]

Well, and that's what I'm saying. Are there things you're just like, I won't do that because that would make me uncomfortable.

[Brady]

Like that, you know, or it doesn't appeal to me.

[Holmberg]

Right. Like. Yeah, yeah. Handcuffs, tying someone up, taking a swing at someone.

[Dale Hellastray]

Oh, now that's a good question. Would you. Have you ever been tied up?

[Holmberg]

Yeah, it's, it's. It's overrated.

[Dale Hellastray]

But I.

[Holmberg]

You try everything, so. Yeah.

[Dale Hellastray]

Oh, I've never.

[Holmberg]

You never done that one.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

But you've done some tying.

[Dale Hellastray]

I, I would get. I would get claustrophobic and I'd get a little panicky.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellastray]

Because of the Seinfeld episode where you.

[Holmberg]

Get left behind or George got tied to the thing. But it's a hooker. You don't. You don't do it with a stranger. You can't only do tie ups. Trustworthy. That's a wife or a long term girlfriend thing.

[Dale Hellastray]

You gotta leave the key right by me.

[Holmberg]

Well, I made a mistake once in about 15, 16 years. It was longer than that. Put handcuffs on Megan in the driveway, joking around. And I took the key and I went, ah. And I threw it and it went into the grass. It went ding, ding, ding. I thought we'd find in the driveway. It shoots into the grass and it was nearly impossible to find. It was a tiny little kid, tears, sobbing, really holds her mom like she was in jail.

[Dale Hellastray]

Oh, I'm handcuffed.

[Holmberg]

I've been handcuffed by a madman. Don't get the kids near. So I found it. We got unlocked. I'm like, you overreact a little bit. It was horrible.

[Brady]

It's scary, man.

[Holmberg]

That's the whole point.

[Dale Hellastray]

Have you ever been in a helpless situation, though?

[Holmberg]

Helpless? Yes.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellastray]

Okay.

[Holmberg]

A couple of times.

[Dale Hellastray]

And that. I don't. I wouldn't want that.

[Holmberg]

It was early when you first started exploring, you know, the college age, and you're starting to figure stuff out and you're like, really? Is this a thing? Like, really? I didn't even know why she owned the rack, but, I mean, why am I in this this way? Yeah, my head barely fits yeah, they had to build a new. It's been a couple spots, but it's not like. I wouldn't say helpless is the thing. What about you?

[Brady]

You pegged?

[Dale Hellastray]

No, I pegged.

[Holmberg]

Well, with what?

[Brady]

Like a peg?

[Dale Hellastray]

Well, no.

[Holmberg]

No, you don't. Like, a peg is like. It's. Pegging is multiple things, so. Yes. Okay, but not with a. Like an item. Cuz the same thing. If somebody just starts firing their hands.

[Brady]

In there, that's considered pegging too.

[Holmberg]

Sure. To Meg Brady. No, we'll pay for it.

[Dale Hellastray]

Brett, you already pegged.

[Holmberg]

You've been pegged. Brett's on video.

[Brett]

No, I'm finding something for us.

[Dale Hellastray]

What is it?

[Brett]

There is a.

[Dale Hellastray]

No, don't put it.

[Brett]

No, no, no, it's not. No. This is cardi b explaining how to wipe your ass.

[Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Cardi b.

[Dale Hellastray]

Here we go.

[Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

That's why I was trying.

[Cardi B]

Means when your mom says to you. When your mom says to you. Like. Like you young, you don't even know how to wash your ass yet. And it's true, y'all little young don't know how to wash your ass. Because the proper way to wash your ass is spread your butt cheeks. Take one butt cheek, spread it, and then put your half of your finger inside your ass.

[Holmberg]

That's right. Cardi b is right. I'm disgusting.

[Brett]

She even shows you how far to go right here.

[Holmberg]

Oh, she does.

[Brett]

But be careful with the one with those words.

[Dale Hellastray]

Okay. Right to.

[Holmberg]

There she goes to the second nut.

[Brett]

Got a scoop.

[Holmberg]

That's right. That's exactly Brady. Cardi b should teach you one thing. That's it. All right.

[Dale Hellastray]

We.

[Holmberg]

We'll take a break. Good sports talk so far.

[Dale Hellastray]

Yeah. What's going on this weekend?

[Holmberg]

Nothing. Nothing. Dale is brought to you by Prestige. You can't get this anywhere else. In prestige billiards. A.com meathead98. You get a 10% discount in one of their three stores or online if you use it. Prestige Billiards A. And get yourself a game room. That's how that works. We'll chat with Dale and do the entertainment drill Next.

[Brady]

You have 8 inches of butt crack.