02-06-26 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness
Date: February 6, 2026
Episode: 02-06-26 - Full Show - Friday
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Timestamps: Provided in MM:SS or where especially relevant

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Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a masterful blend of raw emotion and outrageous comedy. John opens up about the painful loss of his dog, Frankie, striking a note of genuine sadness before launching back into the group’s signature irreverent humor. The hosts cover a wide spread of topics: pet grief, dog adoption, AI, sports commentary, gender and societal roles, and a lengthy, hysterical exploration of co-host Brady hiring a Black male housekeeper—fueling a robust and raucous series of bits on race, gender, and social optics. As always, the podcast walks the line between heartfelt and gleefully boundary-pushing.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Dealing with Pet Loss: John shares his firsthand grief following the euthanasia of his beloved dog, Frankie, and finds community with listeners who have experienced the same.
• Comedy as Coping: Despite the somber opening, the show dives (often breathlessly) back into comedic and topical discussions, sometimes using humor as catharsis.
• Riffing on Social Roles: The group explores society’s expectations around gender, race, labor, and relationships—with signature crassness.
• Sports and Pop Culture: NFL MVP and Super Bowl talk, pop music, and a riff on modern and old-school athletes.
• Listener Engagement: Reading and reacting to plentiful emails.
• Bizarre Personal Anecdotes: Most notably, Brady’s tale of his Black male housekeeper, Rodney, which prompts a torrent of jokes and social commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Death of Frankie and Pet Grief

• John’s Emotional Opener (00:00 – 10:00):

  • John describes the previous night when he and his loved ones said goodbye to his 14-year-old dog, Frankie, via compassionate at-home euthanasia.
  • Expresses gratitude for home-visit vet Dr. Mike Fixler and assistant Amelia.
  • Credits listener emails with helping him cope:

    “All you guys who’ve emailed me over time saying, ‘hey, I lost my guy.’ … That back and forth… got me through a little bit easier last night.”

  • Reflects on the unique space pets occupy in our lives:

    “The smallest thing was the biggest part for sure.”

• Advice to Listeners:

  • Encourage everyone to give their pets extra love—“hug your pups a little more for me.”

• Brady & Bret Weigh In:

  • Validate the pain but emphasize the years of joy:

    “A couple months of depression is worth the 14 years of absolute joy.” (Bret, 07:21)

2. Dog Adoption Spotlight – Hercules (10:00 – 12:00)

• Pick of the Litter:

  • John plugs “Hercules,” a 9-year-old Min Pin/Chihuahua mix whose owner became medically allergic.
  • Describes him as “a furry balloon,” “hilarious,” “fat with a head,” “like a tater tot with legs."
  • Encourages listeners to adopt, joking, “He’s going to run your home... might rearrange furniture” (11:00).

• Super Bowl Charity Event:

  • Announces the upcoming "Frankie Gras" Humane Society fundraiser at Copper Blues in Frankie's honor.

3. NFL MVP, ‘Old Guys’ in Sports, and Leagues’ Issues (13:00 – 18:00)

• Matthew Stafford is the MVP at 37:

  • Hosts debate whether having older players win MVP reveals weakness in the league.
  • John’s point:

    “If you start handing old people stuff, something’s wrong with your league.” (14:00)

  • Comparison to boxing—past-his-prime winners signal a decline in sport’s health.

• LeBron James and Basketball ‘GOAT’ Disputes:

  • Discusses whether LeBron’s career longevity and stats make him the greatest of all time, bringing in arguments from Dennis Rodman and others.
  • John, on why Steph Curry is more impactful:

    "Steph Curry…changed the game. Not for the better either…every offense just chucks threes non stop. He’s the reason…To me, it ruined the game." (22:15)

4. Artificial Intelligence, AI “Girls,” and Tech Anxiety (23:00 – 34:00)

• Running Joke – Paging Dr. Beats:

  • Group obsesses over an Instagram “AI girl,” Gracie (Grayson) Higgs, and her meme song, “Paging Dr. Beats.”

  • John:

    “If you haven’t gone on Instagram and…It’s Pavlovian…My wiener’s like, is it close? Is it close? Look around for the videos.” (24:44)

  • Fantasizes about future VR/AI immersion:

    “There’d be no women left then... you put the suit on and zip right in…we can dive into one of these Gracie Higgins videos and actually interact with her as a human being...I, for one, [am] first in line to beta test that one.” (28:00)

• Brady’s Incomplete AI News:

  • Brady brings up stories about "rent-a-human" platforms for AI bots, but can’t explain the point, leading to endless ridicule.
  • Notable sequence:

    “Thanks for sharing. Then what are we talking about? …I need details, man.” (30:47)
    “He’s trying to explain it. All right. I’m sorry.” (33:28)

  • Running gag: The others mock Brady’s half-stories for the rest of the episode.

5. Gender Roles, Traditional Expectations, and Social Commentary (49:00 – 61:00 and beyond)

• Brady Changes His Wife’s Tire Story:

  • Brady narrates helping his wife with a flat tire, which evolves into a debate about traditional gender roles, reward, and expectations.

    “If a woman calls you and says…get your ass out here. I’m a woman. I’m not changing this tire...You’re gonna come home and cook and clean tonight, just for the day…” (50:23)

  • John:

    “Traditional male roles are still celebrated, but when you try to say traditional female roles, you’re just automatically a misogynist jerk.” (51:00)

• Further Reflection:

  • “We’re more than happy to be providers and protectors...I like a lady that cooks sometimes. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Oh my God, you’re one of those.” (56:13)

6. Race, Optics, and “Rodney the House Cleaner” (61:00 – 104:00+)

• Brady Admits He Hires a Black Male Housekeeper:

  • The group goes ballistic with shock, discomfort, and a barrage of racially-charged, plantation-era jokes.
  • John likens Brady’s household to a plantation and spins endless bits about "Rodney" cleaning while Brady lounges.
  • John, incredulous:

    “How can you sit at home and have that happen? …How can you watch a black man clean your house? And honestly, as a white person, how can you actually be part of this? Don’t you have any guilt inside you at all?” (70:48)

  • Massive running bit for over 40 minutes, escalating:

    “Did I just hear right? Brady’s wife is sleeping with a black guy named Rodney, and he pretends to be a maid every once in a while?” (66:52)

    “Brady’s got his situation...I don’t even know how to start this. Hail to the king. Really. Slave owner Brady is…” (87:06)

  • Classic Notable Moment: The show erupts with laughter after a listener sends in a photoshopped picture of "Rodney" in a French maid outfit—a highlight that brings John and Bret to the brink of tears (100:13).

• Societal Double Standards:

  • The group riffs on why people feel awkward with certain gender/racial working relationships, reinforcing how race and history shapes current-day perceptions.

7. Miscellaneous Comedy, Listener Emails, and Social Satire

• Windshield Wiper Challenge:

  • Reading listener Dore Yoshi’s email mocking the cohosts’ failed wiper change, sparking more ribbing and some light sexist banter.

• “Desire, Manifestation of Desire, and Support”:

  • John’s theory on men’s core emotional needs, repeatedly referenced.

• Jelly Roll’s Grammy Donation:

  • The hosts savage the gesture of donating a Grammy to a juvenile detention center, seeing it as shallow, hopeless encouragement:

    “Don’t give those jackasses hope...You’re not going to win a Grammy. Jelly rolls an accident. He’s one of none. Giving them false hope…” (149:16)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On losing a dog:

  • “Countless amount of times I had to put ‘Knock it off, Frank’...on his urn...Because I think that’s what he thought his name was.” (01:30)
  • “The house is empty. It’s the strangest thing in the world...I’ve still got four dogs and a cat and it is empty. Just a huge hole. The smallest thing was the biggest part for sure.” (02:30)

• On aging in pro sports:

  • “If you start handing old people stuff, something’s wrong with your league.” (14:00)

• On Steph Curry:

  • “Steph Curry...changed the game. Not for the better either...because of Steph Curry that every offense just chucks threes non stop.” (22:15)

• On AI/Instagram Girls:

  • “It’s Pavlovian...If you haven’t gone on Instagram and...My wiener’s like, is it close? Is it close? Look around for the videos.” (24:44)
  • “I can listen to paging Dr. Beats on a loop. Get it off. Give me paging Dr. Gooseback. This is terrible. This is brutally bad...I practice the dance at home. I can’t do it, but I need to do it to show her.” (27:10)

• Brady’s Incomplete Story:

  • “Thanks for sharing. Then what are we talking about? ...I need details, man.” (30:47)

• On hiring a Black male maid:

  • “You have a black guy clean your house while you just sit there and do nothing.”
  • “It’s society. If it was a black woman, no one would bat an eye.” (74:02)

• Listener Email About Grief:

  • “I lost my son this Monday. And I mean my dog. He was at home with me when the vet came, took him from me...I feel like I lost the center of my being. I couldn’t leave the spot where he left for three solid days...Your story pulled my heartstrings and universally very coincidental. I’m sorry for your loss, John...” (After 121:52)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–10:00 | John’s emotional monologue about Frankie’s death and pet grief | | 10:00–12:00 | Discussion of “Hercules” – dog adoption campaign | | 13:00–18:00 | NFL MVP debate, old athletes, decline-of-league riff | | 23:00–34:00 | AI, digital girls (Gracie/Grayson Higgs), social media anxieties | | 49:00–61:00 | Gender roles, relationship quid pro quo, traditional expectations | | 61:00–104:00| Comedy run about Brady’s Black male house cleaner, Rodney (core “bit” of show) | | 121:52–128:00| Emails about Frankie and handling pet grief; inspiring others to adopt/cope | | 130:00–132:00| Trump’s “lion and the Obamas as monkeys” video controversy discussed | | 142:00–148:00| Entertainment drill: Tony Hawk/Epstein rumors, genealogy non-sequitur | | 149:00–152:00| Rant on Jelly Roll’s Grammy, juvenile detention, “false hope” | | 158:00–End | Guadalupe Squares quiz show, riffing with characters and more jokes about Rodney|

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Final Thoughts

Tone: The episode mixes frank emotional vulnerability with sharp, uncensored comedic sensibilities. It’s “old friends at a bar” energy—no-holds-barred, with moments of real connection and frequent detours into social satire.

Listener Takeaway:

• If you’re mourning a pet, you’ll feel seen and comforted.
• If you’re here for comedy, you’ll be treated to roaring, irreverent banter, especially as the Rodney stories take over.
• Lovers of sports and pop culture also get their due, in the familiar, skeptical Holmberg style.

Episode’s Heart:
John’s raw openness about losing Frankie sets a genuine, affecting emotional anchor. The rest is a wild ride of laughter, inappropriate jokes, self-deprecation, and cultural hot takes.

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Notable Quotes (Quick Reference)

• “A couple months of depression is worth the 14 years of absolute joy.” —Bret, 07:21
• “The smallest thing was the biggest part for sure.” —John, 02:30
• “If you start handing old people stuff, something’s wrong with your league.” —John, 14:00
• “He’s hilarious. Just ready to go. Can’t hurt a fly. He’s got a tooth.” —John on Hercules, 10:00
• “If it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t worth a thing.” —John (on grief), 127:00
• “How can you watch a black man clean your house? And honestly, as a white person, how can you actually be part of this? Don’t you have any guilt inside you at all?” —John, 70:48

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For Further Listening

Skip intros, outros, and ads for the pure content. The segment from 61:00 to 104:00 is comedic gold and shows the essence of the show’s fearless group dynamic. Pet lovers, pay close attention to the first 10 minutes and the later “coping” emails.

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Summary by Podcast Summarizer AI — For more episode breakdowns, just ask!

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It's 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, There's Big Dick Toledo. And this is the Morning Sickness, off and running. Ready to go into your weekend of perfect weather, perfect everything, and all that other stuff. Get it right out of the way early. I'm playing her today. Last night, we. We had to take Frankie and give him the gift and send him to his reward. As they say. My boy Frankie, My little puppy, 14 years old, was just time to go. So Dr. Fixler, the best. Unbelievable happy endings. Pet euthanasia is just at home. I, you know, fortunately, I'm a good enough friend, I guess, to text him and say, I need some help now. And he just was amazing. And Amelia, his assistant, came and she was absolutely incredible. Hadn't met her yet. And we took little Frankie out. And this one. You know what helped me the whole time through all this is all you guys who've emailed me over time saying, hey, I lost my guy. And we've been throwing cookies and treats for your dogs the whole time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I just. And every time I've typed back to you guys a note saying, hey, you know, is it 14 plus dog years you got that? You're like, every time you say to somebody, you did a great job. You ran the full race. My own thoughts for other people that have emailed me and told me stuff has kind of been on my mind. And it's that, that back and forth with you guys that made me kind of realize what was done last night, as tough as it is. And my eyes almost fell out last night. I just felt so empty and miserable, and it just feels awful. You lose your best friend and then it just, you know, it's just the toughest thing not to hear. His little nails on the ground. And he was the most annoying dog I've ever owned. Cause he just loved being right next to my face. And I can't tell you the countless amount of times that I had to put Frank Egg, like if on his urn, I want to put. Knock it off, Frank. Because I think that's what he thought his name was. Quit it, Frank. Stop pumping Sheila's face. Frank. He was constantly a natural space invader. And as you go through all the pictures of Frank through the Years, you realize he was always next to another thing. He found the other dogs fascinating. He would. They laid down. He laid right next to him. He was. He was just a constant hook. And the house is empty. It's the strangest thing in the world. Like they took in Dr. Fixler and Amelia walked out yesterday with him and left. And I've still got four dogs and a cat in that house and it is empty. It just a huge hole in the smallest thing was the biggest part for sure. It is. It's as you realize that they leave. They take up so much space in you. But through all these emails and things with you guys, it was like these moments where I realized what you've said to me and what we've talked about before when it comes to pets. And you guys know, I'm a dog lunatic. Kind of got me through a little bit easier last night. It wasn't easy by any stretch, but it was certainly something. So I ask you now for me as you have asked me for you extra hugs and some cookies for your guys this morning as you're looking at them right in the eye. They don't last long. That was a quick 14 years. The first time I get up in the morning and come to work in 14 years without Frankie tapping away at the floor asking me for some cookies and stuff. Like, first day. And that is a tough one that you don't have. You know, you're a little guy there when you come home. And all the rest of them looking around like, what the hell's going on? There's like something missing. And Frankie was a consummate. He was always there where I was, Frank was. Where something was going on. Frank was like. He was always close. If you took a picture of one dog, there was a chance he'd photobomb it. He constantly was right there. And that is a massive hole in my world. So thanks to you guys and I know you'll be nice to me again on the maybe not. Maybe somebody be pricks. That could be. And I. I welcome that. But yeah, so that I'll kick it off by saying that I'm playing hurt every once in a while my brain's gonna drift and that I completely expect. Who knows? Maybe it's like steroids for a show and you just don't realize that when Johnny kills, he gets better. But at home, pet euthanasia, that. Happy endings, that Dr. Fixler and oh my God, what a. What a thing that is. You did it with yours recently and you've done it and it's just like, man, this is just such a unbelievable service that they provide and so incredibly compassionate. And Dr. Mike Fixler has watched. He's a man who has seen me cry more than any man on this planet. He is watched. I, I don't. I. Two times I've seen him and I haven't been crying. And one was at the comedy show because there he was. He saw me as I was getting ready to go across the street. I was going to go to the Rah Rah Rah room, meet Trip, and I'm at the road and he walks by me. I'm like, I know you. This is great. And then he walks by and then he went to the, he went to our show in December. It couldn't have been awesome. I'm like, hey, this is the first time we're going to be together. I don't start sobbing at one point. And I did feel a little bad last night though, because as Frankie was, was gone and his little bodies there on the couch and we're all saying goodbye one at a time. Let the other dogs in to just see. You know, they react oddly to when their friends are gone. It's almost like I remember when my, my dog Katie passed and Dutchy, the old English sheepdog, just came in and smelled her and then walked on her like she was a rug, like she's dead. Like, like she knew, like this isn't a thing anymore. And I'm like, weird. So I did feel bad last night because I let Jack Hamm in and he's my kind of lab mix thing. And he comes in, sees Frank, looks up and he starts liking Dr. Fixler. And I'm like, is it. Should I introduce these two? Like, this shouldn't be a friendship. This is, you know, he's great with dogs. He's a proven quality veterinarian. But at this very moment, I'm not so sure this is the guy that Jack should be like, hey, who are you? Nice to meet you. What do you do for a living? Yikes. You just don't want to be, you know, it's like introducing a nine year old woman.

[B]

Cute dog.

[A]

Yeah. To Jack Kevorkian. It's like, hey, how you doing?

[B]

Like the child catcher on.

[A]

I told Jack. I'm like, don't even cough around this guy. I mean, just in case. But yeah, it's, it was a thing. It's a thing, I tells you. But it's part of owning dogs. It's part of the whole goddamn thing. And it stinks because we don't deserve them. We just don't.

[B]

I said that when we got the, you know, we had one dog, all right. We just got done putting Kiva down, and next thing you know, we have two more. And I'm like, christian, like, we're gonna go two more lives. But then it's like, that's a good thing.

[A]

Goes away really quick again. I think Brett told me that a while ago. He's like, look, a couple months of depression is worth the 14 years of absolute joy. 100%.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Either shut up, Frankie, or knock it off. Frank is going to be written on his little urn. Because he's, he was just constant, like, let's do something, buzz. And smiled. Had this big smile. He, when he'd see it, was almost nervous. It was hilarious. So he was a little clown. I'm going to miss him. But he gave me an awful lot of. He gave me everything he had for 14 years. We certainly do not get to get that from our, from a lot of people. So we don't deserve dogs. They just, they give, they give, they give. And so that's that. I won't bug you with it anymore. I'll probably come up again later, but I'm already gonna get, I already got. The emails are flying. So thank you. I appreciate you guys for that. And you know, and you know what you could do? I can't do it yet. Hercules is this week's pick of the litter. You want to talk about a story, Hercules? Has Frankie had a story, Frank? I told that story several times. How that guy just tied him to a fence. Yeah. In July. And I went and got Frankie off the fence. And it was meant to be. It was bad as that is. As bad as it is. I, I, I was the one who saw that. I'm not sure anybody else watched it. Like, that guy just tied that dog to a fence over by the freeway. I don't know if anybody else would have seen. He would have died for sure that day. It was a little puppy. No, no water in July. Little Hercules, who I met yesterday. I. Hilarious, fat little Chihuahua mixed with. But he's mostly Chihuahua and 9 years old and they live to be like 18, so that's like half. You get a good amount of time with them. His owner became wildly allergic to him in the last year or two. Tried to live his life, but, I mean, it was like hospitalization, allergies to his dog. It just happened. And he's like, I can't do it. Like, he's getting hives. He Couldn't be around him. He's like, I can't even be in a room with my own dog. And he had to, you know, give him up. And this little thing is hilarious. He's this owner loved him, but he didn't do it like he was loved him with treats. This is a fat dog. It's gonna need some work. But he's hilarious. Go to the website 98kupd.com click on the pick of the litter and take a look at Hercules. Now I take Hercules home, but I ain't ready right quite yet. Larry's the one I'm pushing here because he liked that Min pin. This has a min pin Chihuahua mix thing. And I made him, you know, I did a little character voice for him in the video where he's Triumph the Insult comic. Because he was just sick of my immediately. All I wanted to do was wrestle with him. Goddammit, put me down. And that's strong enough to get away. Look, I eat six or seven times a day, and you are breaking up my meal time. He was a riot. And his tongue's hanging out of the side of his mouth because he's got two teeth left. And he just eats soft food. And he's a riot. But he needs to get a home quick because he's been in a home for nine years just chowing down on table scraps. And somebody needs to take care of this little guy and get him out. He's hilarious. Just ready to go. Can't hurt a fly. He's got a tooth.

[B]

He's trying to picture this furry balloon.

[A]

Oh, he's a balloon all right. He made me laugh. The minute I got in the room. He made me laugh. There he is. I mean, just a ball of fat. And he's got a head attached to it. Yeah. And the dude is awesome. He's nothing but fat with a head. And then. And he's just enough already. Like, you can see it in his eyes when he's done with you holding him. It's like a tater tot with legs. He is. Put me down. God damn. Damn it. It is time that I walk. I look, I'm getting fat because everyone carries me. He's a pig and he's hilarious. He's a sausage. He's a casing for a burrito. One tooth it is. He's a riot. He is a riot. So go. Go get that little fella. He's. He's the best. He is so fun. Yesterday we had a blast together. Didn't spend a ton of time with him because I had something to do, but, man, was he funny. He had me. So go get Hercules. Somebody go save Hercules. Because this little guy needs a house, and he's good with little dogs and whatever, but he's. He's going to run your home. He's gonna walk in. There's a good chance he might rearrange furniture. He's one of those types. Okay, I don't like the couch here. Let's. I'll put some tape down and you can scooch it. If not, I'll put my 30 pounds of nine pound body in. Move this couch myself. This goes here. Now does Larry enter? Larry was pretty. He's like, oh, man, I saw the video. Larry needs to do that. Larry's got to get back on this. And he's like, I don't think I can go through it again. I'm like, what's. What do you think this little guy's going through? He doesn't understand why I had the house. I had 12, 15 meals a day, and now I'm in a shelter.

[B]

Where. Why?

[A]

It's because his little hair made the guy allergic. He doesn't shed, you know, Chihuahua hair, so you get little, but it's not a ton. And this dude just got allergic to that dog in particular, and he's like, I can't live my life and I can't be around him. It's not fair to either of us. Evidently, hearts were broken. He tried to give it to family, and the family's like, we can't take them. They're all over. And it's like, all right, I gave him up. That's brutal. And this little guy's just being fat in a shelter now, and he'd love to be fat at your house, so help him out. And then Sunday, we've got the super bowl party for the Humane Society, which I'm now dedicating to our boy Frankie for losing him this week and all the dogs that we've talked about and stuff. Because if we can help give all those pups over there to Humane Society, a better chance to be in a situation like Frank was in. And, like, the dogs you guys have, we're doing donations down there while we watch the super bowl, and we are giving away a ton of awesome stuff on Sunday, and it is just going to be a grab bag of amazing gifts to give away. You're going to walk out of there with, like, you'll be blown away at all the stuff we've got. And watching the super bowl on Top of it all, which will be a blast. And that's a copper blues on Sunday. Starting about 4:00 o', clock. The doors open at 2. Load up. Let's get down there and make Frankie Gras a big thing in honor of my boy who I just lost. That's enough of that. That'll do about that. It's brutal. Now on to other things. Uh, we watched a little the NFL honors last night. Matthew Stafford becomes a 37 year old MVP in the league. Which is good. Uh, I don't know if we've had Tom Brady ever win it after he was 37. He's not the oldest one that's ever won it, but again, it goes to my theory that if you start handing old people stuff, something's wrong with your league. If dudes who are on the 37's too old. It's getting up there, it's getting. 37 is old. But the guys don't make it to 40 a lot. Quarterbacks do now because the league protects him so much. 37 is getting close to being like. And he did. He was the MVP, was great. Oh, Brady made it at 40 when he was the 2017 most valuable player at 40. Aaron Rodgers 38 in 21 and now Stafford at 37. That's too old. You can't, you can have. It's right there. And it starts to tell you there might be something wrong with your league.

[B]

How did, how did Stafford's year as far as yardage and all that match up against Brady and Rogers when they won it?

[A]

I don't have any. Matthew Stafford had an amazing, great.

[B]

You know, I mean if anyone, if you're looking at on stats.

[A]

Well, it was a good stat year but it was really just. I mean it was, he was, he was the reason that. And you know, he's got a great receiver. They're running games, but I mean he is.

[B]

I wouldn't have expected that.

[A]

Josh Allen is right there. As if without him there's absolutely nothing going on in Buffalo. He has a one man team up there, period. Yeah, I mean really. I mean, well, they get the number one rusher in football and nobody remembers that because this dude makes things happen that no one can. Like Josh Allen's outrageous. When it comes down to like crunch time. It's all on him. He runs, he's. I mean he's. Everything about that team is just ridiculous. So yeah, I don't know. I just don't like when old people win things. I don't like it. I don't care for That I like when. I like when spry young athletes are dominating the league because that means it's health.

[B]

But you know, at the same time, as far as. I don't disagree with that.

[A]

No, I don't either. But that again my point. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree. It's the 37 year old is the best player in the league. Something's wrong with your league when it. When the average age of a football team is like 24. You got 37 year old. That's one of those. Something's wrong with the league. You got to have somebody. And they do have good young players. But I mean he had a hell of a year. So.

[B]

So they have the rookie of the year.

[A]

Oh yeah. No, that goes back to, you know, of course you got. But the MVP should be a dude in his prime. That should be the most value. That's a most valuable players to me in leagues in your award then. Well, I just don't think they should even play. Like, I don't like when old people do things because you know why? It creates dudes who buy those Internet old dudes rule shirts to think that they're. You're not. You're out. You're not doing it. It makes the. It makes a guy with a garage band in his mid-40s think they've still got a shot. It's just. You're out. It's not. You don't. You don't have anything. I got it by one vote over Drake. Yeah. And Drake may is the one that you're like, all right. Because if he gets most valuable player, it's marketable and it's future. It's a. It's a tip of the cap off into the sunset for Stafford. And not to say he didn't deserve it, but I'm just saying the rest of the league needs to look at that and go, whoa. Dudes in our prime are losing to dudes going out the door.

[B]

And is it like the.

[A]

I don't like when old people lose.

[B]

The Oscars a little bit that we're not going to give it to the maybe lost by one vote. Maybe you're going to get yours.

[A]

I mean it wasn't an illegitimate gimme. No, it wasn't like when Paul Newman got it for Color of Money. He wasn't the best actor that year, but they'd never given him one before. This wasn't because all we owe Matt Stafford something. He's been.

[B]

It was.

[A]

He deserved it. But it shines a light on the Fact that he shouldn't have been in the competition at 37. But the problem with the league is not the age of the players. To me, the problem of the league is they protect quarterbacks too much. And now there's 40 year old dudes that can dominate. That shouldn't be happening. I always go back to that. When boxers with some f.50 year old boxer comes and starts mopping up like, this dude's gonna fight for the championship, like something's wrong with boxing. Then you should never have a 50 year old dude in the ring with these young kids cleaning up. That means there's something wrong with the batch of young kids that a 50 year old can go in there and start. He can win a fight or two and get you excited. He shouldn't be. George Foreman was only in his 40s and everybody was losing their minds. When he came back and won the championship. He was still too old. But if you go back and look at the way heavyweight boxing looked when George Foreman in his 40s came back, there was no.

[B]

It was the right time.

[A]

It was perfect. Perfect timing to be old and look around and go, this is the weakest batch of heavyweights you could ever. I can still kick their ass. And he did until dudes that were better than him said, all right, sit down, old man. And they dropped him like a bad habit. So I don't like when old people win stuff. I just don't. I really don't like athletic stuff. Go ahead and win an Academy Award. I don't give a crap about that. You're gonna be. That's age. That's not age. Restrictive athleticism, I guess. I'm so happy LeBron James sucks now that he's in his 40s. Well, he's dead. But they gave him the. Everybody fights. Nobody likes the guy. But everybody, you know, started to give grief to the idea that he got named to the all star team. You're like, what? Come on, that's a gift. He's not playing that good, but he's not a huge.

[B]

You know, I don't follow the NBA day, day by day, but my perception is, man, the guy is in there too long. He's actually hurting himself.

[A]

Oh, yeah, well, he's been doing that for a long time. Yeah, he's a stat pattern. Yeah, look, there's a statistic of him being. The people will argue he's the greatest of all time. Here's one stat that'll make you go, no, he's not Kareem Abdul Jabbar, who he passed for all time scoring leader, shot and hit one three pointer in his career. LeBron's got 10,000. Here's the other stat. Michael Jordan was often considered the greatest of all time. Kareem should be in the argument. In his career for 23 years, LeBron has turned the ball over 5,500 times. That's 23 years you're going to turn the ball over Jordan. Kareem combined 5,300. Go yourself.

[B]

28 Kupda football's biggest game is right in front of us and you still got time to get in on the action with Underdog. It's Brady from the morning Cygnus and playing on Underdog is so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats and if your picks are right, you could win 5,000 times your money. I'm going to go higher on Sam Darnold passing yards. So download the Underdog app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19+ in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in state where Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms. Underscore dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24. 7 Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467369.

[A]

Sickness. It's an insane amount of of stats. He's not an argument of the greatest of all time, but they put him in there. And then just because you say he hung around forever.

[B]

I heard of all the people Dennis Rodman in the interview. I don't know if you ever heard that. But he's like, tell you who the goat is. First of all, a goat doesn't flop.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And he's like, it's just he was basically obviously lobbying for Michael Jordan. Of course he said he also Michael stuck with a teen all time. He didn't go out and shop for other team members to win championships. I know he's making that point, but he's right. He's like this guy. What he did chase his chip.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he chased and he's a chaser and that's fine in this modern Area. And you know, it's going to be.

[B]

Partial because Rodman played with him.

[A]

Sure. Well.

[B]

And also the flopping, because he's right. See these films, the little clips.

[A]

Yeah. Time after time, like, LeBron tries so hard to get free shots, like free throws. I don't know that Jordan spent a lot of time at the line, but he wasn't. He wasn't begging. He was. Yeah, he wasn't begging. He was getting fouled. Right. A lot. We had to. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I hate that argument. I. I tell people all the time. I'm like, you want to talk about an argument that actually holds water between the greatest of all times? You look at Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul Jabbar is in there. Nobody talks about it because he. He literally changed the game. But he's a giant at the time, so you can't. Seven foot two guys playing basketball, of course. And he happened to score that skyhook was on it, couldn't defend it. But Steph Curry is a better argument for greatest of all time because he actually changed the game. Not for the better, either. You go watch an NBA game now. It's all because of Steph Curry that every offense just chucks threes non stop. He's the reason, which to me, it ruined the game. To me, it ruined the game.

[B]

They're all trying.

[A]

It's not as much. It's not nearly as much fun as it used to be. But Steph Curry is shooting 27 footers, and every kid in junior high was watching Steph Curry his first few years. Just. And nobody plays low. They all chuck threes. And you watch that in the last 10 years, because of one man, the entire league changed. LeBron never changed the league. He's just really good at being a basketball player. He didn't change anything. Steph changed the game. Doesn't mean it was better, but he changed. Scottie Pippen says, and those two hate each other right now. But even Scotty says a goat doesn't call himself the goat. Yeah, exactly. Michael never says he's the goat. Boy, do I hate that old man. Then I got this. I have an emergency for all of us. And every time I say the word emergency, I think of little Gracie Higgins. Emergency. Emergency. Paging doctor Beats Instagram. There's nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, if I hear that song, it's like Pavlovian. Yeah. My. My. My wiener's like, is it close? Is it close? Look around for the videos. It's an AI Girl, and AI has destroyed our lives. Because Marilyn Manson's song that every single person listening to the station loved, we found out was AI. And then you got Gracie Higgins, who's not a real person, with her paging doctor Beats. Just get it, Brett. Show it to me. I'm working. Give me one second here. Somebody. Brandon says this. This is pretty good stuff. Says you should ask AI to create a three hour morning sickness show. Apparently, it's good enough to make new Marilyn Manson music that made me crazy at awesome. You could play it on the radio. It's gotta be good enough to make one of your shows. I mean, that's not a bad idea. Let's see if you can put together a three hour podcast of this show. Maybe if it works, I'm sleeping in. If. You know what we could do? I mean, just furiously type at these computers all morning, and each break is ready to go. Between songs, it seems like we're doing a show, but we're just sitting back BSing while the show goes on the air, AI style. I think we're a year away from being able to make that to where no one would know and the impressions would get so much better.

[B]

Less than that, if you wanted to.

[A]

Oh, there she is. There she is. Thank you, friend. Oh, my God. Are you gonna put it on the screen? No, I just. I got this. I had to find. I can't find. My dog just died. You son of a. I need everything I can get.

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

What's the matter with you? Oh, that song. It is for Chile. It is Pavlov. Pavlov's dog thing is so real. Because this. If you haven't gone on Instagram and.

[B]

It hasn't hit me yet, because right when you said, I got an emergency.

[A]

Yeah, you go, oh, there's a problem. Oh, Jesus. That's not gonna give you a hard on, is it? Cooling again gets you hard.

[B]

But when you said that, that's the first thing that I thought. Those. Our songs.

[A]

You thought of their song.

[B]

This?

[A]

No, this. You're not spending enough time with Gracie.

[B]

I know.

[A]

What is it? Grayson Higgs. This is what he thinks. This is the one. Brady gets hard to. Brady gets a. A stage full of African Americans blowing horns. I don't even know this song, do I? No, it wasn't a big hit. It was the king of the title track to their. The one that had, like, fresh on it.

[B]

She's so fresh and inviting.

[A]

Emergency. Yeah, this is Brady's heart on talk.

[B]

Hi, Richard.

[A]

Get out of here with us. Play that other one. Get crazy Back on the screen. Yeah. I can't. This is what you thought of?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You. You scour the Internet. Cripples and milk.

[B]

No, this is. Goes back to the college days when this song came out. Yeah.

[A]

So you. Brennaman. Studley.

[B]

Yeah, about a couple of my brother friends like that.

[A]

Boy, I tell you what, Brady. Turn up the cool in the gang. I'm half hard right now. I'm about to do a line off my own crank. Come on, we need to. This is why old people shouldn't win mvp. They do stuff like this still go. Their reference points are cool in the game. That's a bad one. Emergency. Emergency. So, you know, every time an ambulance goes by, Brady's emergency. And I'm just painting doctor Beats. I don't like that song at all. Maybe we will. Maybe we'll do a. An AI An AI show.

[B]

I still like that one better than the Paging doctor Beats.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The.

[B]

Like, I could listen to that one.

[A]

What?

[B]

I can only take so much Paging doctor Beats.

[A]

It doesn't. You're wrong.

[B]

The little snippet of it.

[A]

No, you're wrong. It's because of what it now represents. I can listen to paging Dr. Beats on a loop. Get it off. Give me paging Dr. Gooseback. Yeah. This is terrible. This is brutally bad. Oh, now, Boner. Isn't that little thing she does with her hip. I practice the dance at home. I'm like, I can't do it, but I need to do it to show her. In case you ever meet AI Grayson. She's a fake person. She's the most beautiful fake person I've ever seen. And she dances to this song constantly. Every one of her clips. Brett, will you get it on the screen? Trying to find it. There's like 10 of her pages that aren't real. How much disappointment do you expect me to go through?

[B]

And you're just playing the AI song?

[A]

Yeah, it's on Spotify. God damn it. Come on. Oh, you're just playing the song. Get me the videos. By the way, the song's getting it done. I can see her humongous AI boobs, that smiley little face. She's beautiful. You know what I hope they invent someday? That we can go into A.I. you know what I mean? There'd be no women left then. Oh, I know. But, like, you know, it's possible now that we can put some sort of weird scuba suit on that's got sensors all over it. And then we. We dive in like Tron. We dive into the compute. And we can meet these people. That's what Elon Musk said is going to happen, is that travel will go away because we can recreate, like, the pyramids in Egypt and make it feel like you're there. That's coming. Like, you don't have to go places. It will be exact replicas. Safe. Weather's always good. Same with this. Like, I can for. It'll cost a fortune, probably, but I put the suit on and then zip right in. We've been trying virtual reality. It's just visual right now, but imagine it's coming, that maybe a chip to where we can. It'll. It'll zone us out. Our eyes will roll back in our heads, and we can dive into one of these Gracie Higgins videos and actually interact with her as a human being. I, for one, first in line to beta test that one. Now I don't care how many times it ends up like, you know, Jeff Goldblum in the Fly, where. Oh, what's that? I don't know. Just more videos. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Sorry, I'm trying to find her.

[B]

Page 10,000.

[A]

Gracie Higgins. Now Grayson Higgs. Yeah, I know. I'm trying to find him. God damn it. They got multiples of her. I think it's Grayson.

[B]

So imagine this. That there's a new site that lets AI agents rent humans to do stuff for them in real life.

[A]

Oh, that's so Gracie. Yeah.

[B]

So what's scary is it's called a Molt book. It just launched, and it's a way for bots to communicate. It's read only for humans, but AI agents can post comments and vote.

[A]

What do we do for them?

[B]

So this other site basically says it's rent a human. AI bots go there to hire people to do stuff for them in real.

[A]

Life, but what stuff?

[B]

As of last night, 150,000 people signed up to to be rentable.

[A]

What's.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

Thanks for sharing. Then what are we talking about? I don't know. God damn it, Brady, you are salt. Peter, the song had me hard as a rock, and suddenly I've got this ambiguous nonsense I've got to think about. I need details, man.

[B]

Well, jump in there like people you.

[A]

Brought up to the party. Stop bringing half stories to the party. What are we signing up for? Brett and I were in the middle of to jerk each other off to Gracie Higgins if he could ever get it on the screen. I'm trying to find her.

[B]

The only other tell I have is The. The site refers to the people that signed up as meat space workers.

[A]

That's right. But for what? What does AI need us for? Well, you don't know.

[B]

Not much after a while.

[A]

So we'll be slaves for no reason?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. What? That doesn't make sense. Brady, this story you brought to us is incomplete. If I was a teacher, you'd have. No, you would get an F. It would just say incomplete on the top of the page. Yeah. Yes. Well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What the hell was that? Half hard sitting there thinking about AI and he breaks me. This one simple question. What is AI doing with the slaves? I don't know. Nothing. This isn't a story. Then get the goddamn song back up. Is Brady AI? Is he glitching? Not that one. Yeah. You're killing me over here with no videos. Oh, man. There it is. There's something comforting about this. It's so annoying, but it's something comforting. And then the one where she's like, always like, this is me and my mom and Tooth. She's got a song for that too. Very similar, but big T shirt. Oh, yeah. I need this today. This is what I need is a whole bunch of AI Gracie Higgins and this song. Just non stop rolling.

[B]

That first one. The malt book that I mentioned.

[A]

Oh, here we go.

[B]

It's just for AI only. It's a chat group.

[A]

No one knows what you're.

[B]

Humans can break in. It's basically a flat.

[A]

I'm not the only one.

[B]

AI you can upload your AI that you've created.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

It's. It. It's a. What would you say?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Launch. You can join. It's a social media.

[A]

Are you digging your heels in on not knowing for robots? What do you. What do we care?

[B]

Well, it shouldn't. Really doesn't matter. What you care is. The problem is this. This AI.

[A]

Get your gun.

[B]

The site is opened up.

[A]

Go get it. I'm not kidding. It was. I had a. I'm not even 24 hours removed from a day. Death in my family and I got this going on.

[B]

Let me. Let me.

[A]

Thank God. Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna put poo down.

[B]

I'm trying to explain what.

[A]

You are trying. He's trying to explain it. All right. I'm sorry.

[B]

Millions of bots have already signed up on it. They've been discussing everything from movies to sports to meaning. The meaning of life. They're even talking about creating their own language so they can communicate privately without human oversight. And you've already mentioned that one or two Were doing that before. That doesn't creep you out at all? You're talking about how they're coming up with their own language now. They have a chat space where all these bots can communicate.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's been good. That is AI. That's what they've been doing. They constantly communicate with each other. Brett, you have a question?

[B]

Now, Skynet is being able to have it rent humans to do stuff, but.

[A]

That'S relevant to jerking off. Thank you, Brett. That's what I want to know. But to do what?

[B]

That I don't know.

[A]

That's the point. Oh, my God. That's the fear we must have is, if they're renting us as slaves, what do they need? That's got to be part of that story.

[B]

Sign up.

[A]

No. For what, Bananas? Ask your question again. What does this have to do with jerking off? Yeah, what does this have to do with jerking off? The great shit.

[B]

Maybe that's what they want.

[A]

Oh, no, they got that already. They don't need us to sign up for anything. We're constantly doing that. I'm just glad Frank's not here to see this.

[B]

Oh, man. What time does Dr.

[A]

Fix will get her? Yeah, well, Dr. Fixer, it's gonna be 10. It's gonna be nice when we put Brady down. It's time. Frankie's kidneys were failing too, and very similar. He used to lean on walls and me. And it was like, oh, this guy's little. If you got a story about something making us slaves because they need us. I don't know why. To do what? I mean, the other part of the story is they're just figuring it out on their own. They don't need us. And then we're gonna sign up to be their slaves for their needs. What are their needs? Wouldn't that be just a programmer in the first place?

[B]

Well, whether or not they. I guess they're seeing who would sign up for it. They've got 150,000 humans to sign up for it now they put it into effect, we'll find out what they want. Maybe they don't want anything.

[A]

And then James says it would be interesting if AI started to rent us to kill. Who would get prosecuted? The person killing, of course. If a computer tells you to kill and you do it, you kill. Killed someone. That's not a hardcore case shooter.

[B]

Charles Manson.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, says. I work in the medical field. You have exactly two hours to get Brady treatment for this stroke, prevent permanent damage and I mean, the clock started ticking 20 minutes ago. Yeah, Michael said, I remember back when the show started, it was towards the end of the show when Brady would lose it. Now it's happening in the first segment. I, I. Yeah, you're welcome. No, it was just. It was just the discomfort of Brett and I'd beating off the paging doctor Be, and he's still furiously searching for that AI girl to dance for. Then you told us they're going to make us slaves, and we don't know for what. You actually brought papers out. It's an incomplete story. I'm an incomplete. Go back. I'll give you. I'll give you till Monday. That's all the finish. Yeah, but finish your assignment Monday. I'll give you three extra days because this is. You didn't finish your assignment, and I am on the precipice of jumping off of this bridge.

[B]

I would have had it for you by now.

[A]

What do you mean, Gracie? Oh, that's probably true. Oh, then find it. Go. He can't put it up on the tv. Then give me the link, God damn it, the both of you. Well, he's already got it. I'm in. No, he's the one I found it for. Oh, yeah, Brady's the one who. Yeah, so he'll have it. He's gonna. He's gonna click on old Grayson anyway. Don't Google search, Gracie Higgins. You're right. It does come up a billion things, but on Instagram, she's got one. Oh, wait a minute.

[B]

Oh, but it's Grayson Higgs.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I've been saying. Grayson Higgs is the one that you go to. And it's different on everybody's page because I remember when Toledo threw his up on the screen. It's not the same one I've got, but this song is. It's a boner machine. It's a little annoying after a while, but without the visual. All right, hang on. But my brain works on it. Let me kill the music here. And we're very worried about. Bring this product business, Brady. This is what happens when a man doesn't jerk off enough. Your brain gets all foggy. You need to go tug one out, Brady, and clear it. That's true. You do have clarity. Oh, you got her. Oh, my God. Oh, that's her other song. Oh, there she is. She's doing. Oh, I don't even know what these outfits are. There she is with her, a teacher. And then. Oh, my God. Oh, my Lord. Yeah, this is what I needed today. Earners pulling drawers. All right, click on to the next one. Just keep moving. Scroll. There she goes. She's Captain America and Spider man. All that dance. Iron Man, Deadpool. Oh, I wanna hear you saying no. Oh, there she's doing Lord of the Rings characters. Arwen, Gadril. Gadriel. Makes me want to go to Renaissance. Oh, my God. Yeah, if that was at the Renaissance.

[B]

Festival, I'd be there every day.

[A]

I'd work there. Oh, there she is with her hot cousin dressed up as. Oh, my God. I can't watch this. I can't do it. You give me paging doctor Beats one time and I'm gonna explode. This is just game changing. Artificial intell. Just Batman. Oh, my God.

[B]

Smart that she doesn't go doctor Beats every day.

[A]

She's gonna ride an electric horse at some gaming center. And AI decided to put her in that. Oh, my Lord.

[B]

Keep feeding that quarters.

[A]

Her and her mom dressed up. Okay, I can't do it anymore. I've changed my mind. Volunteer for that to make me a slave and I'll do it. But I don't know what. Yeah, I don't know what an AI bot that you need more. I don't know what an AI bot would say. All right, here's my. Here's what I need you to do for me. I'm like. Like, you do it. You're. You're a computer. What am I gonna bring you bread or something? What, are you gonna go to the Circle K? I'm just listening to the song. It doesn't need us. That's the one. This makes me wet. I'm not sure what's going on. Guy peed my pants. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully. Football's biggest game is right in front of us. And you've still got time to get in on the action. With Underdog, it's Bresli from the morning sickness. And playing on Underdog is just so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats, and if you get your picks right, you could win 5, 000 times your money. Now I'm gonna go with both quarterbacks, Drake May and of course, Sam Darnold, to go higher on their passing touchdowns. Now, new apps drop daily. So download the Underdog app today and use a promo code HMS to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries. When you play your first $5 underd win money must be 18 19 in Alabama, Nebraska 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playand getterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call 24. 7 Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY 467-36. Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Walker told me I had AIDS. That's right, son. It's there you go. It's floating through this Friday. Got the the weight of a dead dog on my shoulders and I gotta go be fun at the Phoenix Open later today. I need distractions. That's a good thing whenever you lose a pet or have go through a thing. Distractions are good. Keep me busy. A lot of nice emails from you guys and I appreciate that. The podcast cooking right along here and we couldn't be happier for you guys to be part of it. Thanks for making the switch with us. Remember when we were on radio and now we moved over to this podcast thing and it's working out better. I'm seeing a lot of avenues that we can go down now that were a podcast first.

[B]

It's freeing.

[A]

Yeah, it is freeing. It has opened up a lot, hasn't it? Radio executives are morons. Just call it a podcast. You know, I tested that theory the other day. Did I tell you guys that? Yeah. I was talking to somebody and I said, watch this. I tell somebody I do a radio show. You tell anybody under the age of like 30. Radio show. Oh, really? Like radio. They act like I just said, yeah, you know, I run a printing press. What? Yeah, an old fashioned ink and spin printing press. I I do rugs on looms. Like that's what they hear. And then I said, oh, I just have a podcast that's going great local.

[B]

What?

[A]

Where? What is like the excitement level is double. That's all you got to do. These executives spending 80 grand on tests. Radio in their kitchen anymore they don't have one. Call it a podcast.

[B]

Well, what about radio?

[A]

You guys ruined that. Yeah, hi. I heart you. You guys ruined that. Find me the one dude in a suit in this business who has stewarded this industry through these rocky Waters of the Internet and all the other stuff and put it in a better place. You won't, because it's douchers like Marv Nyron and those guys that are in charge of things. They're idiots. Sorry. I go off on this every once in a while because I'm sorry. It's a certain point in your career when you look around and you realize, oh, God, I'm an idiot and I'm smarter than everybody in charge. This is terrifying. I'm not saying I'm smart. It's like when people thought Doug Hopkins was my dad in that commercial. It isn't because I look good. That's not on me being so like, man, that guy's really looking good. Doug and I are the same age. Somebody thought he was my dad. That is not because I'm walking to the party looking like Macaulay Culkin. It's. It's not a youth thing. God, I love that story. Nash Desai says, hey, Brady, you owe me a few bucks for the headache you gave me. I just had to buy some aspirin. That's on you, Matthew. I like what you wrote. Emergency, emergency. Brady stroking out. Incomplete story. Guy said, I used to do this in school all the time. I wouldn't finish my report, but I'd be like, damn it. I still have to do the presentation, see if I can get through this. Incomplete was my nickname. Andrew says, I think it's time we limit the segments where Brady has full sentences to say. Just little asides. That's where he's strong. I'm having a conniption over here. Yeah, we got to be careful. Don't bring in complete stories to the party.

[B]

That's what I do.

[A]

You're good at it.

[B]

I know. You can't stop me.

[A]

I don't think we can in. But it is. Even Shane Orlando text in. Easy was worried about Easy. Don't let Brady drive home alone today. I don't want to fix his car again. He just got done fixing your car. Right?

[B]

Sure did.

[A]

Again. It's great stuff. Then I got an email from Dore Yoshi. Listen to this one. Did you discover bill late? Pardon me? Your discover bill later. No, no, no, it's not. No, she's not an Indian. Oh, it sounds like it. Dore Yoshi. That's Asian. Well, India's Asian, but still. Yeah, we'll see. Dore Yoshi.

[B]

But she's not Japanese.

[A]

That's what I'm hearing. Tech support. No, no, no. They don't do tech support. They do Well, I guess they do tech support. There's not enough. I'm thinking of the people on the phone doing tech support. Yeah, they're the ones fixing all the Indians computers says, good morning, John. I've been listening to your podcast longer than you'd like to know. It's always been a great start to my day. And after hearing the windshield wiper struggles from you kumquats. Pretty strong insult right there. Calling people a kumquat. Very 1920s, but also cool. Yeah, see? Bringing on. Yeah, look at you, kumquat. Look at this kumquat. I was inspired to try changing my windshield wipers myself. I'm 5 foot 4 inch girl. I'm not expired yet. I'm 33. I know, Brad. I'm getting close. And I usually outsource this kind of thing to a man that sells them to me. Listening to three grown men defeated by windshield wipers made me curious. Now, time out here. This windshield Wiper defeat was five years ago, right? It's 2021, because I had just gotten my shoulder surgery and that's why I couldn't even reach up. Brett had a broken arm, and Brady, although her excuse is stronger than yours, wasn't tall enough to get over the top of the Jeep to reach the windshield.

[B]

You wouldn't be able touch your Jeep.

[A]

Yeah. Five, four. She didn't need a step stool. So right off the bat, you're a kumquat too. Second, I just had my windshield wiper replacement story here, and I got them right on and right off. I figured it out. Now, I wasn't even trying when these two kumquats were trying to change mine back in 21. Just recently, I changed my Jeep's windshield wipers on all four. Now, the funny part of that story is I didn't realize there's a plastic coating you gotta take off for each of the wipers. I thought I just had really cool electric blue windshield wiper blade. And then when it was raining, I'm like, oh, these things have to wear in. One side was working, and that had fallen off. And then Amy, or I'm going to call her, my personal assistant on Thursday was in the car with me. And she goes, see, you got to take that plastic strip off. So, yeah, I got a little cumquati. But I did figure out how to put those on. And it was easy. She says, turns out it was very easy. It took me five minutes to do it was harder to get them out of the box. The hell were you guys doing after There. Thanks for getting me to try something new. I'm proud that I'm more of a man than any of you. I've attached a photo so no one assumes I'm too unfortunate looking to have someone do this for me. So you know who to call next time your wipers act up. And I'm hoping to qualify for the Jew and the WAP law firm. Love you guys. And the podcast. Never change or do and learn to be a man like me. All right, that's enough. Dory Yoshi. So then she fires over a picture. And she's one of those fiery gingers. Of course you're good at dismantling things and putting them back together. You're one of those you steal copper. You're one of those you dig holes and find stuff. You start with windshield wipers. Then you break down like some sort of electric. Your house is probably just a series of wires and disconnected things. And then crazy eyes. And then you finish up, usually as a crazy ginger, dismantling some man's heart and turning him into an absolute wreck. You're ginger. You don't count. Now you come by. Yeah. Kumquat ginger. Don't come with me at these ginger stories. Changing your windshield wife. It's a five year old story, Dory.

[B]

Last Saturday, I was pit crew.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ronnie calls me. She goes, she's heading to yoga in the morning. She's like, I got a flat. She's in the parking lot of the place.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she goes. I don't know what I hear, but the car's. You know that back tire is flat. Hop in the car with Kirby. Drive over there. Put my gloves on. Open up the thing for this. It's a space saver.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's baby tires and it's the hand crank deal. Got it done. 10 minutes. I thought, this is gonna be an all day nightmare. Yeah. Well, get it done. All done. Put the gloves away, Kirby. That's how it's done.

[A]

Yes. You taught your daughter how to change a tire.

[B]

I feel like you're accomplished. Let's. Let's go get a Dutch.

[A]

Yeah. Nice. And then you didn't. Ronnie went off to yoga and you and Kirby got Dutch brothers.

[B]

It was chunked. I don't know what I hit. I'm like, it wasn't a.

[A]

She smashed into something.

[B]

Yeah. She tore it and it tore the tire.

[A]

That's not good. She called you.

[B]

I'm like, yeah. Because I'm. I'm like, we have.

[A]

Did it make you feel like a man?

[B]

It Did.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good feeling. But I, I also kind of.

[B]

Your car's ready to go when you're done with the yoga.

[A]

I, I, I agree. You do feel good as a man. Traditional role as a man. She should have come immediately home and, like, cleaned and made a meal, don't you think? You mean she didn't? Yeah.

[B]

Let's see. That was like.

[A]

If you door dash that night, it's an affront to all things gender related. If a woman calls you and says, play the traditional role and get your ass out here. I'm a woman. I'm not changing this tire. Suddenly her argument for we can do anything you can do sucks. And now I want you back in gender roles. You're gonna come home and cook and clean tonight, just for the day, because you put me. I don't want you to be subservient. But when I have to do caveman roles, you have to do cave girl roles. Come home, clean this goddamn house, and cook me a meal. That didn't happen, did it?

[B]

No, but I'm just.

[A]

But he's smiling like, God, that's well.

[B]

Smart because, like, if I came into work and also, oh, my God, my tire's flat. Call her. Hey, my tires flat.

[A]

Yeah, well, she wouldn't do anything. Oh, you know what you could do next time you get a flat tire? Call. Call your wife and go, hey, tire's flat. I got to change that. Cook a meal and clean the house and then just hang out. Because, like, I'm a man today, like you.

[B]

Ha.

[A]

There is that.

[B]

But I. You do like the fact that you're doing that because you feel like. Okay, well, not only am I. You feel like you're fixing things, you're providing.

[A]

You're the mother. Provide a meal. Exactly. Traditional male roles are still celebrated, but when you try to say traditional female roles, you're just automatically a misogynist jerk.

[B]

But there we. There I am, and again, looking for reward. No, but I, I wasn't.

[A]

Did you get a handy? She should be looking for, like, being grateful.

[B]

Nothing. No handy, no mouth.

[A]

Gratitude should come from birthday weekend. You should. Oh, no, Mother Maron. I don't even say that. God. Oh, my God. What the. Cordell and Cordell. Oh, my God.

[B]

I didn't want to say anything.

[A]

The man's trying to eat. You just turned this into the office at the bottom. Chrissy. I mean, I mean, Brady, I feel like I've been stabbed in the house.

[B]

I do, too.

[A]

Your birthday weekend, you got up. You weren't doing Anything but you. Probably. It was morning. Yeah. Saturday. Yep. Hop out of whatever you're doing. Probably watching Mayor Kingstown or something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then grab Kirby. What's she doing up?

[B]

She got up early because what we do. Oh. Might have had a. Was it either a tennis lesson?

[A]

No. So she gets in the car with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You go over, you change the tire.

[B]

Where was it? I want to go Sometimes we'll go get breakfast somewhere. Saturday morning, if she's up early, that.

[A]

Should have made you. Exactly. There's no more getting breakfast.

[B]

There isn't.

[A]

Rarely.

[B]

Rarely is up that early.

[A]

This should happen. Happened. Ronnie should have gotten in the good car that you came to get to change a tire and gone off and bought breakfast for him. Brought it back. But I bet she stood there with her arms folded and watched the whole event.

[B]

Oh, she was in. I wanted her, you know, do the yoga.

[A]

Oh, you gave her the car.

[B]

She.

[A]

Good car.

[B]

No, I fixed the car in the park where she was.

[A]

Oh, was she at the yoga place already? Yes. Oh, I see. Okay. So she wasn't, like, waiting, and I.

[B]

Go, well, just go to the yoga thing I got you.

[A]

And you did. You fixed the whole damn thing and nothing. Yeah. I'm not saying it's Ronnie. I'm saying all women, whenever you lean on a man with traditional male roles and say, these are your roles, you do this. Then we can't be bad for saying, all right, cook me a meal and clean the house today. Today's traditional roll day. And also, you know, gussy it up a little bit. Go put a dress on. Go a little. Give me a little. Mrs. Draper. Give me Mrs. Draper. I'm gonna come home and have a part of your.

[B]

The.

[A]

The birthday weekend thing. Oh, no. Yeah. Desire. Manifestation of desire and support. Those are the. That's my. Those are my three tenets for a healthy day. Desire. Manifestation of desire and support. That's all we want as men. And mouth hugs and handies are a bonus, and we will be more than.

[B]

That's part of it.

[A]

That's part of the manifestation of design. I know, but I'm just saying you desired me. Putting it in layman's terms. Oh, sure. They don't understand my three words. No, it seems like they don't half the time. I'm not blaming them. I'm just saying it's. It is just a little off putting to have all this, like, leaning on us. And we're fine with the traditional male roles. They're not offensive. And she's pretty darn good at the don't cushion this. I'm talking about just one day. Yeah, I know. She's listening. And Ronnie's great. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying it's that, but I'm saying. Saying when a woman says man, do man stuff, and a man says woman do woman stuff, the man is a jerk. And we blow up when a woman asks us to be, like, we'll be a man for me. You got it. I got a snowed man. That should have resulted in a glorious toothless mouth hug at the end. You saved the day. You're my hero.

[B]

Got it done before then. I just remember because that was the morning we were going to the zoo, so we had to. We had a time frame there of about two hours to get that.

[A]

Get the tire done.

[B]

I thought, I'm gonna need all that. Oh, I didn't. It was good, what, a half hour? Because we were leaving.

[A]

You had an hour and a half left. 90 minutes for the blow.

[B]

Yeah. So we went. Yep.

[A]

You got a zoo blowjob is what you're saying.

[B]

Yeah, by Bonobo.

[A]

Oh, didn't ask that. Don't get weird. There we go.

[B]

No.

[A]

Said the F. Are we talking about here? She shouldn't have even left without breaking Brady waking up to his D in his mouth. There's a problem here, Christopher. That might be a little aggressive. No, but is it. It was his birthday weekend. It's birthday boy. Anything, it should have been happened with or without. Yeah, either way, thanks for sharing. That's a tough one. I struggle with.

[B]

It's about being, feeling, you know, I'm a man.

[A]

Yeah, I know, but that. We like that. And you know, and like. Why don't. What makes them feel like a woman? They're yelling at us about changing windshield wipers and calling us kumqu. Oh, my God. Here we go. That's what we need. Desire. Manifestation of desire. Support. Oh, Lord. There she is. Firefighter, cop. FBI. Oh, this is the man. This little move at the end, I turn that off. Yeah. You know what?

[B]

You know, that's real. That's not a.

[A]

My problem is I've been watching a lot of this. There's a dude named Westcott. Not Wes Scott. That's one name. Wes Scott's his name. And he's a black guy who's like a right wing Republican. He does these Instagram videos. I find him wildly entertaining. And then it leads. When you watch him, it leads to a. Another thing of the. At Whatever podcast. And I love watching that because it's the Dude's kind of saying what I've been saying for years. But it's like this, you know, traditional roles aren't so bad. Why do you guys fight so hard? And he asks women those questions. He's kind of right. We're more than happy to be providers and protectors and do the role of the caveman. I like a lady that cooks sometimes. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? Oh, my God, you're one of those. I'm like, well, who's gonna cook? I have to do that too.

[B]

Yesterday in the entertainment drill, that guy. Is it Chris Harrison?

[A]

Who?

[B]

From the Bachelor?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's starting his new dating thing. That was traditionally based relationship.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And people were all, yeah, they get mad about it.

[A]

Like, there's something wrong with it. If you're a woman who likes that, that's great. You don't have to. I'm not.

[B]

I don't particularly care for a man that likes that. Traditional, like, you know, I don't care for it.

[A]

I just don't want you to ever get mad at me with any sort of women rights thing about, like, well, you can, like, if you're going to lean on me for tire change and you start saying. You start getting uppity about like, ladies can do this. I understand, but, like, don't discredit us or discount us completely as. As you don't need us. We went through 20 years. I said this when, When I first started in radio, one of the most dangerous things I watched as a kid, as a young person, was television shows screaming every day, I don't need a man. I watched the Maury show, Jerry Spring, we don't need a man. People were having kids and like that. The man was like, it was an. You just provided a little sperm. I got this. And then suddenly it turned into like this group of kids who couldn't function. Or they get a whole entire generation of people who are incapable. And. Well, it was because we were celebrating. The crowd would clap. I have. I have five kids on my own and I don't need a man. I'm like, well. And the crowd would be like, that's great. I'm like, no, it's not. Why are we celebrating that? And I watched that whole thing happen. And you're like, oh. But just counting men in our roles has been something we as dudes totally been in on. Like, yeah, I better just shut up or I won't get blocked. Yeah, you're great at everything. Yeah. You don't have to do anything around the House if you don't. That's rude and it's old fashioned. Old fashioned.

[B]

But the old fashioned factor of that. I actually liked that she called me.

[A]

Sure. That's awesome. Because dudes bow up to be a man. You know what's great? Try to hire a male maid and watch the. Watch your wife or girlfriend go, what's this? He's not going to do a good job. They don't like that. Same way you'd have like, you know, you know, a female contractor come to your house and start climbing ladder. Like she's gonna hurt herself. You'd worry she might be great at it, but your brain's just going, I don't like this. I'm not gonna hire like a whole team of girls comes over to do your house.

[B]

Our situation right now.

[A]

You have a male maid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And Ronnie hates him. Ronnie hates.

[B]

Okay, I got. He's great. No, she's okay with.

[A]

With him, but she'd rather have a woman.

[B]

But he pulls up two things. Pulls up in a nice red Mercedes.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

And he's black.

[A]

Oh, even better.

[B]

And it was initially because I. It was a, you know, referral from that home glow. And then it's Rodney. Rodney's fantastic. But here I am. All the stuff that we're talking about that coming in here and he's like, calls, hey, you want me to come over?

[A]

Yeah, noon.

[B]

Yeah, come on over.

[A]

Rodney, you got usher taking care of stuff over at your house.

[B]

It is like you're cool with this, right? You're okay?

[A]

Oh yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't you be?

[B]

I don't know. You just feel like.

[A]

The whole way you'd rather have a woman. You'd rather have a woman. Cuz it's an insult to your manhood that he's in there cleaning your house. Yeah, yeah. Just playing when he pulls up in the back. Hey, Ms. Bogan, I'm here to clean your house, man. You all right with that?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Rodney, you know where to go. Just cuz I'm here, man.

[B]

You don't hear that?

[A]

What? What happened? Every time you clean the house, the fire alarms yell at us in 10 minutes.

[B]

Yeah, be ready.

[A]

Clean this bedroom. Looks like somebody soaked the sheets.

[B]

The next week. Rodney, we're missing a tennis bracelet.

[A]

Oh yeah. You can't. Things. Things can go. Rodney knows it too. Things can go missing and you know, you're not saying anything. Rodney, we're missing a ring. Are you really? And you are asking me because. No reason. Keep to Dustin.

[B]

Have. Have you seen one Yeah, I got plans to put.

[A]

I, I, I couldn't do it. What? Have an usher clean your house. I couldn't have clean house been three times. I couldn't do it. I, I, I have to leave.

[B]

I don't know what to do.

[A]

I need my traditional house cleaners to be Mexican women. I can't. There's too much history with the US of A.

[B]

To have Rodney just, you know, in a couple times.

[A]

I mean, what kind of house?

[B]

But then I'm in the house sometimes, you know, like, you feel good work there.

[A]

Rodney, why are you in there? You need some water? Get out. You can't stay at the house with a maid there. Hair lazy. That's just proof you got nothing to do and you're letting somebody else do it. I have to act busy. If there's a mate at the house. I can't just sit there and have her clean around me. Oh, you got a set of balls on. You have a black guy clean your house while you just sit there and do nothing.

[B]

Got my mint tulip.

[A]

Do you make him call you a colonel?

[B]

He's just a boss man.

[A]

The Bluebirds are coming inside now. Rodney.

[B]

Ball.

[A]

You're getting the accent down. I really appreciate that.

[B]

Please tell me the artwork has been gone.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You don't have any of that horrible racism.

[B]

No, he, he, I gave you the waiter.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, a little. Yeah. That serving, remember? The waiter, the serving. Louis Armstrong. Yeah, that's right. Is that still out?

[B]

No, my, my uncle took that years ago.

[A]

I'm just gonna get my feet up and watch more Mayor of Kingstown. I don't know what that show is, is for whites.

[B]

I go out of my way watching, you know, Coming to America, stuff like that. What's up, Rodney?

[A]

I'm watching juice again. Get down. Get down on your hands and knees and clean that stain there. Rodney, I'm not doing anything. How can you sit at home and have that happen?

[B]

White glove on and dusting the shelves there.

[A]

What kind of man are you, Brady? That you have an African American gentleman cleaning the house and you stay home the whole time? It looks not the whole time. Most of it does.

[B]

He gets there. Let him in.

[A]

You stay there. You talk to him. You hang out. Yes, you do.

[B]

The first time I was in the.

[A]

Watching a movie of that's worse.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Sickness28 Kupd Holiness. You gotta pretend busy. Also, it looks like you don't trust him.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Oh, it's Terr. You got a fire rod? It can't be done. You can have A man clean your house while you're home.

[B]

So the last time I just gave him the door combo.

[A]

Well, right. If you're not home, it's easy, but you can't be home.

[B]

Rodney. We're missing a watch.

[A]

Exactly. You can't accuse him of anything. You can't misplace something, then imagine you asked him where that was and then you find it later like, no, he's gonna kill me. You can.

[B]

You know, he does a. I do a job.

[A]

Of course he does a good job.

[B]

The dilemma.

[A]

The dilemma of you laying your lazy ass around while somebody else cleans your house?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's terrible. That's just awful. You gotta play pretend. Super busy. Just go to the park and sit with the dog. I don't know how you sit there. Can't sit and watch.

[B]

I, I do.

[A]

No, you don't. You' in the man cave watching movies.

[B]

The first time.

[A]

That's too many times you plop down with a two hour feature while Rodney cleans your house. You had nothing to do that day. That's just brutal, sir.

[B]

You.

[A]

You, you need me. Come on in there. Clean that. That room. No, Rodney. Everything's fine in this room. Zippity do. My oh my. Rodney. Oh, yes, sir. I'd like another Sprite, please. We all out of spite, sir. Well, then I guess you gotta hoof it over to that Circle K, don't you, Rodney? That's an extra charge, sir. Well, toot sweet.

[B]

He finished up. I'm like, y', all, it looks great. Thank you. You wanna shoot some oops?

[A]

I got a new neon sign here. It says welcome to Candyland.

[B]

What it feels like now.

[A]

Why aren't you wearing tuxedo?

[B]

I got you.

[A]

Yes, sir. You're right, sir. I'm sorry. You scared, man? Yes, sir. I tried real hard now, sir. Got a way up high. Your, your, your door frames was dusty. Well, that's something I'll never say I've been on top of. A door frame is basically the Empire State Building to a guy like now.

[B]

Rochester. Rodney.

[A]

Lot of dirty stains in your toilet, sir. It's going to take me a while. That's Kirby. Hey, man, don't pin it on me, man. So let me get this straight. Y' all gonna just sit and watch movies while I clean your house? That's right, Rodney. All right. Do you have anything to do today? Not at all. So you could be cleaning this mother by yourself, but you decided no. Rude. Would you mind putting the record on the phonograph, Rodney? We like to pretend it's 1840 when you're here. This is Brady. Lives in Gilbert, Arizona. Has a black male housemaid who drives a stolen car. These optics are not good.

[B]

Brady stolen?

[A]

He's a homoglow made. It's a stolen car. I don't care if it was you rolling up in the Mercedes and you're getting. You are. You have stolen a Mercedes.

[B]

It's nice.

[A]

Man, oh, man. Did I just hear right? Brady's wife is sleeping with a black guy named Rodney, and he pretends to be a maid every once in a while. Oh, your husband. Oh, I probably act like I'm cleaning or something.

[B]

Yeah, that's good.

[A]

Scrub a dub dub. Hi, Rodney. Scrub a dub dub. That's all we up to here now. Scrub a dub dub. Rodney is a good one.

[B]

His singing is really good.

[A]

Hey, Rodney avoided an accident in there. Ronnie's asleep nude in the bed. I didn't know nothing about that. Now, son, I did. Lucky I got home in time before that embarrassing scenario unfolded.

[B]

Ronnie, we got a break.

[A]

Ronnie, you're actually dusting the TV with just your hands. You don't have any equipment. You know what? I did forget my equipment. Let me run out to the Mercedes real quick and grab my cleaning supplies. Let's see if I can get the cleaning supplies out the back of the vehicle. Yeah, it's not like I was here doing anything but cleaning. I hear, man, he goes back to the barber shop. I was banging this man's wife and he came home and I started to scrub a dub dip and he thought I was the clean Lena. Yeah, Tom's right. Did I just hear Rice? Brady sleeping with a black guy named Rodney who drives a red Mercedes, and Brady sticks around and watches movies. Seems funny that the house is exactly as it was two hours ago when Rodney first got here. And Ronnie's always asleep. Kids 12:30 playing in the background while the black maid is there. Rodney from Kiss. 12:30. All right, Brady, you have to do this. On a scale of 1 to 10, what does he look like? We're talking Lawrence Fishburne or Michael B. Jordan. What is Rodney's? Be honest.

[B]

Like he's right in between.

[A]

He's like a six. Seven. He's a good looking man. Decent. Yeah, right. Well, Brady said he's a seven, too, right? Oh, that's a good point. I mean, are we grading on the curve or the worst thing a man can say in a courtroom? That's when I caught my wife blowing the maid. Oh, my God.

[B]

Texter asks if you renamed Ronnie Aunt Viv.

[A]

When he's over. You're. You're a good guest. I say it all the time. Thank you for joining us.

[B]

Part of his type five.

[A]

There's a good tight five. Right. My God. And Rodney, I'm sure does a great job. I just. There is no. I can't do it with Gloria. Gloria comes to the house and I'm like, I'm out. I have to find stuff to do all day long because. And she stays 10 hours sometimes. So then she'll clean half the house. That's a good thing. You have another house to go to. Exactly. Exactly. And I'll lock myself in the other house. Or I just go to this rental and sleep on it.

[B]

It's the first time he comes over. It's the first time you meet. No matter who it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You feel like one. You want to stay around because you don't know. You want to see. You know.

[A]

You don't trust us.

[B]

How they do.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Trust factor of like, how much background do you know? You know. Do you know anything else? Doesn't matter. I can do it in about an.

[A]

Hour and a half. Hello, miss Ronnie. Your husband gonna leave ever? No, he's watching Roots.

[B]

And it's not even that. Cuz Ronnie's not even home. I'm the only one there.

[A]

Right? It's worse. Can I use your Sonos for a little bit? Sings cleaning songs. Don't go singing it now. That's my tune. Sorry. Don't you have something to do? I mean, how can you watch a black man clean your house? And honestly, as a white person, how can you actually be part of this? Don't you have any guilt inside you at all?

[B]

One day I come home early. Wait a minute. Music's already playing.

[A]

Man, this guy has gone meta on me. This is the best text we've gotten. Do you realize the only difference between Ronnie and Rodney is the D. Well done. Well done. He's in the kitchen.

[B]

Nothing but an apron on.

[A]

Rodney, where's your pants? It's hot in here. Can I call you Usher? You can. You're going to get punched in the mouth. But yes. Has Rodney ever gotten stuck in Brady's dryer? Scab inside the dryer. What do we have here? I'm to trying trapped. Please. I need you to dislodge me from your Maytag. Please let me see what I can do. Oh my God. You penetrated my butthole. Yeah. O. He's stuck in the dryer scenario. This is crazy. It's just flat crazy. Anyway. Oh, the podcast Is going great. I couldn't do it, Brady. I don't know how you do that. How? You watch a black man clean your house and you just sit and watch.

[B]

Roots just had. Just had a baby eight months ago.

[A]

Of course he did. Clean announce now, like, I can't. We can't.

[B]

We can't do this. I can't fire him.

[A]

Did you hire him from the Mory show? Yeah. You got a house for me already? Just. Just for fun. You are not. Yeah, just for fun. In the background while he's cleaning. Next time, just go. Just the old fancy.

[B]

I'm all done.

[A]

I've gotta get milk that Mercedes. Ben 90 down your side. It's not you. Oh, man. Not yours. Hey, I was just kidding.

[B]

Let alone the first time he pulls up my neighbors crossing street.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, of course, yeah. Yes.

[B]

He's with me.

[A]

Everything's okay. Don't worry about it. Everything's okay. And I'm sure he's doing a fine job. I'm not blaming Rodney at all. He's just making ends meet. I'm blaming you for sitting there watching a black man clean your house in 2026. That and we were just talking about gender roles. That's a rough one. And for whatever reason, and it's not me, it's society. If it was a black woman, no one would bat an eye.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

It's just societal norms, and that isn't one of them. Clyde wants to notice. Kirby, take Rodney for show and tell. Oh, yeah, you used to do that when you were a kid. Is she taking her over? Gilbert? Hey, man, check it out. This is our cleaning negro we call mushroom man. I would prefer you didn't say that to the class, but. Hello, Gilbert. Christian, man, this is real. It's not.

[B]

AI, man, you ready for the last. Last time?

[A]

You got more?

[B]

Oh, there's more. Last time I, you know, gave him the combo. So he's there playing because no one's home, and I go, just text me when you're done. And so he texts me. He's like all time the son. Why don't you know your daughter's here.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

But I'm adding to the scenario that she came home now.

[A]

She's in the mix, man. All right, then. Well, thank you, Brady. I hear him pull over in the driveway. We've had four people asking for Rodney, the house cleaner. We'll get him. He'll be in the center square with Brady cleaning the square. You missed a spot, Rodney. Well, thank you for pointing it out. Certainly it wasn't from a lack of you trying to help. I'm on episode four of Roots.

[B]

Like this. Good. This shouldn't be any problems. I shouldn't have any problems with this. Like, ow. Doing the.

[A]

The yard, it's totally different because, look, Al goes in the yard. He's a landscaping team. Yeah, I was there by himself in the backyard just humping it. And I'm drinking laminate on the porch watching. It's terrible. Plus, Al don't pull up in a red Mercedes like he's the American Gigolo. Is there any way I can keep my jewels in my coat jacket?

[B]

What's going on here?

[A]

I don't like to scrub a dub Dub in the Armani. Scrub a dub dub up. I'm coming over. You have given me a reason to want to be in Gilbert. I've got to be part of this.

[B]

Got a backpack, vacuum.

[A]

We're going to watch a Ways Brothers movie and see if we can just make him stop. Would you throw in white chicks and Rodney get to work. Scrib dip. Y' all watch white chicks while I'm here? Yes, please. Scrub it up, dub. I guess we know where Kirby's been getting the weed. Cleaning houses don't pay for bends. Hey, man, he has no idea what we're doing here. Rodney, scrub a dub dub and then hand over the bag. Come on, man. I like sexy Rodney.

[B]

Scrub a dub dub a dub dub.

[A]

Keep it down now. Rodney Roots is almost over, but scrubba dub dub.

[B]

Ronnie has a pep in her step.

[A]

I bet she's limping. Oh. Anyway. Is that real? Is that real? Is that real? I've wondered that about those Internet home cleaning services that they charge you, like, 10 bucks, then you get, you know, get add ons. Yeah. First time. But still, it's like. It almost feels like a prostitution.

[B]

Well, then you don't. You got to watch it because you don't know. You realize you hire the one time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're now contracting times. And if you don't, you can. You can get out of it.

[A]

Yeah, but that's homoglow. I'm talking. There's, like, a bunch of them. It all feels like there's some sort of a weird like, yeah, I'm here to clean your house. And I'm like, yeah. And then they look at. They don't have anything. The one girl that came to clean the rental, I let her in. She didn't have any. Anything. She came to the door and she goes, hi.

[B]

You just have a phone?

[A]

Well, homoglow no no, she's with homoglow. And she showed up, and I'm like, okay, do you need supplies? She goes, I got a bag of rags. And then I had all the cleaning supplies, like the vacuum and the Swiffer and all that. And I'm like, he's gonna use my stuff, right? Yeah. And my brain was like, she's not here to clean. Like, she'll go through and do the basics, but I think she's here for sexual. I think that's on the table. Really? Yeah. I'm not saying homoglows that way. I think maybe she. She brought nothing. The first one. I got a girl now who's great. I use her every time now for the rental house. It's quick. She's in and out in like an hour and a half. It's nice. It's not that bad, but it's just a great job. But, yeah, couldn't do that. Scott says, I was at Brady's house the other day, and I asked him, where do you even find coconut pledge? And he's. This house smells like a resort down in the Cayman Islands. That's my goal. You. Anyway, I don't even want to keep. I got other stuff I could do that's just. I mean, you're not gonna top this. No, I mean, come on. I got a guy whose wife wants him to buy boobs, and I. I got all sorts of stuff to go to. Just leave Rodney where he sits. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there? I didn't even get the whole list together, but I'll give you what so far. Just because I do look like cleaning while you run this list there, B.

[B]

Next Thursday.

[A]

Is he coming next Thursday? What are you doing next Thursday? I don't know. We're doing a show live from. Want to watch a movie? The barber shop is on it, too. I guarantee you, every time this is how the interaction goes. I like the. You're late. I know, I'm sorry.

[B]

That's already happened once.

[A]

I'm positive of it. What do you do other than clean houses, Rodney? Gotta get a little curious. How does a man cleaning houses afford that beautiful Mercedes Benz? Getting a little too inquisitive. Sorry.

[B]

It's like a 90s video.

[A]

The G wagon pulls up, so I gotta go outside.

[B]

Brady, it's a nice silk suit you're wearing.

[A]

Yeah, well, you know, the temperatures have changed. It's a little warmer than we expected, so I gotta go outside to water my. You got a carload of. Yeah, Drops drop every Time.

[B]

He comes out of the car, it's slow motion.

[A]

Yeah, We're going to Brady's next Thursday. Yes. Okay, man. Gnr. Frank Stallone. Frank for Frank. Oh, that's my guy. Seven Dust, Motley Crue, Black Crows, Avengers, you know, Body Count. There goes the neighborhood. Coming up for Rodney. And then somebody wants to hear the whole Usher song. You've heard it eight times. You're not gonna not hear it. Oh, my God. It's on a loop. I just clean a little faster when this goes on here now, Ronnie, what are you doing there with that? You have one of those steel wool pads? Yes, sir, I do. He's in the shower, naked, just scrubbing the walls. Got to have the water on while this goes on now. Pretty. Wow.

[B]

He hasn't asked me what I do yet.

[A]

He hasn't.

[B]

I'm with the FBI.

[A]

Don't tell him where it gets backed up. You clean up little Round Man's house in Dover? Yes, I do. I do. His name is Bradley, and he's a very nice young man. Watches Roots for hours on end while I clean his house and he lazily does nothing. That's terrible.

[B]

Rodney, get in here. This is my favorite part.

[A]

Do you like.

[B]

Oh, this one.

[A]

Kinte. This is a good one. This is my favorite ep. Do. Do you go to the fridge and get stuff? You do, don't you? Like you're. You. You don't.

[B]

Yeah. The second time I was out on the patio.

[A]

Oh, you sit outside and watch movies, you son of a.

[B]

No, I. I take the dogs for a walk. Yeah, I try to, you know, try to get busy.

[A]

But you're not. You're not doing it.

[B]

It's not quite there yet. I'm like, you know, until this last time, like, here's the door.

[A]

It's not quite there yet. Or you just don't trust him yet?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. What are you gonna do. Do about it if he starts just robbing you blind in your head?

[B]

Oh, he could.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not doing anything.

[B]

Yeah, it's not there. It's just sort of having to be there. It's like. It's.

[A]

I laugh like a smoker because I am dying over, you know, you know.

[B]

Locking up afterwards, whatever. Like that. Now it's to that point, because at first I wouldn't.

[A]

What are you gonna lock up for? He's the only one you're worried about, and it's your neighbor. You gave him the car.

[B]

I know, it's silly.

[A]

Yeah, that's dumb. Just let him leave.

[B]

Also, you Run out of here at 10:05 every day to go golfing.

[A]

How is it that you are home golf game on Thursdays when Rodney schedule and just let him in?

[B]

I did.

[A]

No, no. From here on, there's no total bag three times. Have Rodney carry your bags. Randy's got the slaves. This is terrible. It's so weird. Is the gender. It's like you just cannot stop that. You can't sit on the porch and have lemonade while I. You just can't. It's. I don't know how you do it. And now you can't fire him. It's worse. You just have to find everything in the world to do and never be home when Rodney's there. As a man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't do it. Oh, the guilt. I feel guilty. I. I could not. Could you come home and. Oh, no, man. But I can go to Brady's house all day long. I get up and start helping. I'm like, dude, I know I'm home. I could be doing this. I. This is just lazy.

[B]

I have.

[A]

Of course you have. You got a Tyler Perry movie going on in your house, right? Oh, my God. Well, I'm gonna go golfing. Come on, bagger. Come on. Come with me. And you walk out. You forgot your clubs.

[B]

Did I?

[A]

No. Oh, I see. Listen, I laugh like I've been smoking for 18 years. I'm dying. Brett and I have chest cold crap. I know. We're both gonna honk up a bunch of crude. This is not good. Anyway, I don't care what we play. We can do a little Frank Stallone for my man Frank. Okay. Lost my boy Frank last night.

[B]

So is it 10:05 yet?

[A]

It's almost. You gotta get out of here. Six days from a Rodney visit. That's a great story though. That's a tight five. So we're live from Brady's house? Yeah, live from Brady's house. Every once a month on Thursdays, we turn back the. Turn back the hands of time. We all dressed like Lincoln and just hang out at Bra. And at two, we open the front door and go free to go. Oh, man. I'm with you, man. That's so funny. Did you know how funny that was before? Yes, Frankston, I didn't know if you knew it.

[B]

I held off sharing that for a while.

[A]

It's Frank, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Hberg's morning sickness [e-mail] that's smash hit there. Rodney the house cleaner is the the number one thing on the right radio today that is not or on. On the podcast. I apologize. I got. I don't know. You still got Usher going on the back there. Of course I can have everybody losing their minds. I can't stop laughing. Brady's got his situation says. I don't even know how to start this. Hail to the king. Really. Slave owner Brady is. I can't compliment this without sounding horrible, but I. It's just solid gold. It's one of the reasons this radio show, I mean podcast, is number one. That's true.

[B]

Give me 10 minutes.

[A]

Yeah. Be ready. This one says, sorry for your loss, John. You're a hell of a professional here, entertaining us f nuts while you're hurting. Thank you. Ah, you're very welcome. It's what I do. And when I get gifts, like Britney's particular plantation situation, well, we can run for miles with that. So, Rodney, I see that you get a bag of supplies there. That's right. That's right. I do, Ms. Bogan. I don't recognize a lot of these things. Well, you know, I got some of the things. Let me point out what you don't know. What's the problem here, sir? Well, this one here. What's this for? Oh, that's if you've got countertop damage. I call this one fabuloso. Unchanged. This is my. But my countertop. And this here, well, that's the Harriet Tub cleaner.

[B]

This cherry furniture polish. I have to also say that the.

[A]

Glass in the shower is getting a little mucky. I can't get it off.

[B]

Do you have a product for that?

[A]

Oh, I'll clean that glass by any means necessary with Malcolm Windex. There's a stain here dog peed on the carpet and I can't get it out.

[B]

Do you have any.

[A]

Anything? Well, just a couple of squirts of my simple Green Mile should get that right out. You're the best. Well, you know what I always say, Mr. Bogan. Do the wipe thing. That's a spike le joint. Some guy emails all the time. Kyle says I had to step away from the show show for a second to take a call and I came back. What did I miss? Does Brady have a slave? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Malcolm Windex. That's a Scott Haynes original. Thank you.

[B]

It is amazing. He does everything for free.

[A]

Is that right? Well, he's getting paid somehow. I don't have cash for you this week, Rodney. Oh, it is all right. We can make a. We can make a range. I do, however, have this bottle of Hennessy. Oh, wow. Head over there. I didn't realize I was going to have to wear a tuxedo.

[B]

Now.

[A]

From here on, I'm going to call you Toby and you're going to call me. We're going to stop right there. Oh my God. Hilarious. It's time now for Brady to do more damage. Is that possible? I do like that you held on to that knowing he's gonna ruin this. Oh, Rodney never hears a word of it. Brett's gonna have a stroke. You can't do these kind of things. You just can't do it as it says. Please stop before you kill Bert. I don't like using Spick and Span. That's racist.

[B]

Malcolm. Malcolm.

[A]

Windex. By any means necessary. We'll get those stains right off. Simple Green Mile. Just simple. Green Mile is a great one. Pretty proud of those. Says your impression. Starting to sound like Donkey from Shrek a little bit. I just get all these windows cleaned up there, mister. That's right, Donkey. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends [e-mail] oh, while you've got your slave in the house cleaning. It's nothing better than sitting in her back patio watching TV without glare in the shade. It's glorious. Sipping on the laminade. Just making sure that everything is going great. AllProchade.com will make your back patio, front patio, side windows. You got a tv. You got an area Pergola. Pergola. I've seen that too. Where people put those. Those drop down blinds on the pergola where the sun comes through. I got a friend of mine who's got one of those. It's outstanding and all pro shade makes it looks like it's supposed to be there. Not that you just jam something up like some sort of sheet in a window. Beautiful work. It actually beautifies your home and adds property value. AllProchade.com Go do it right now. Brady reported.

[B]

Good Friday morning to Phoenix. Hello world. We've made it.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

Happy Bubblegum day. Happy National Chopsticks Day and National Work Naked Day. Hey.

[A]

Hey. I'm not doing.

[B]

Give me a minute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A couple of basis fun facts. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Chase had a nickname. Old bacon face. 176065 to 1785. He was supreme Court judge and he was impeached. His crime at the time was letting his partisan leanings affect his court decisions. But he was later acquitted and remained in office.

[A]

Yeah, Old bacon face.

[B]

We don't have any more nicknames.

[A]

No, we don't call people that anymore. Now we just say asshole or ftard or something. We've lost our origination.

[B]

There hasn't been a US President under 5 foot 9 in over a hundred years.

[A]

Good.

[B]

The last One was William McKinley, who was five seven. He's present from 1897 through 1901. Joe Biden was six foot tall. Donald Trump six two. And if Kamala Harris won the presidency, she would have gotten at 5 4.

[A]

She's short and drunk. I watched an interview with her again a couple weeks ago. Oh, I thought it was mean. I thought the Republicans were mean to her about the drunk thing. I just don't think she's eloquent. I think when she's on a teleprompter speech, you know, she was like, the convention. She did great. When she's on her own. Oof. And they let her go on this thing. And I'm like, that. She's drunk. Like, I thought they were being mean. There's a couple times where I'm thinking she might be. And by the way, everybody who keeps sending me pictures, pictures side by sides of Joe Biden and Alice Cooper, I said that about two weeks ago, that they look similar because we were laughing. Evidently. It's been an Internet thing for a while. They're twins. They might be the same person. It's weird. Amy has a Alice Cooper album in her office. I can't go in there and see anything but Joe Biden. Not Joe. Jill. It's weird.

[B]

In China, Guardians of the Galaxy is called Interplanetary Unusual Attacking tv. Jesus. Imagine if we had the Cleveland Interplanetary Unusual Attacking team instead of the Guardians. If you're planning on buying some super bowl squares, sure. At a house party. Here are the best numbers. The best squares are oh, 7, 7, oh, 3. Oh, and oh, 3.

[A]

My Hopkins squares. I got 3, 7, 10, 07. I got great numbers for this. And he's got a good box. It was.

[B]

The worst are 2, 2, 5, 5, 2, 5, 52 and 88.

[A]

22 is immediate death. And 8, 8 it. Yeah, you can't win with 8. It have to be 38 to 28 or that would be a crazy score. Although didn't the. Did the Seahawks who mopped up the Broncos and they only scored eight points? That was. Yeah, those Seahawks, 43 to 8. Yeah. And people are saying that's the same thing that's going to happen this weekend. I think it's Going to be close.

[B]

According to the poll that YouGov did, 47% of Americans have no opinion about who should win. And of the ones that do, 29% are pulling for the Seahawks. 16% are rooting for the Patriots.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

8% aren't sure. It's Patriots bias.

[A]

I think here's the thing about the Patriots that made me I wanted the Seahawks to win because I just want them to win. I hate the Patriots. I don't hate them like I used to, but I hate them. And then, and then I saw an interview with that little turd Josh McDaniels. I'm like, oh, yeah, he can't have another ring.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

We got it. Seahawks have to beat this for the Josh McDaniels smug factor to. To get he. He can't go. He was Belichick's toady. If he gets another ring, he's legitimized.

[B]

Two head coaching jobs. He left the Raiders hanging.

[A]

Oh, he screwed the Colts. Remember? He just. He took the job and left. He pulled the Belichick. He copied Belichick top to bottom. And then he was Brady's OC and you're like, that's all you are. When all these other places and couldn't win and in Denver and then Oakland and. Or Vegas where I don't remember, but he was just a dude. Douche gets fired from. Those are like, ah, you're nothing. Goes back and gets another quarterback and turns him into a possible mvp. It starts to lean that the kid might know what he's doing, but he can't have another ring. Oh, that little turd. Remember when he went to Denver and he wore the cutoff hoodies like his idol? Oh, he made me sick. That little.

[B]

With the neck cut out, too. Not just the sleeves, the neck cut out.

[A]

Oh, did I hate him. And then seeing that little interview yesterday, I was like, ah, yesterday when I had to put my dog down, it was the second worst thing I had to watch, which was Josh McDaniels talking for a little while.

[B]

50 Cent, 56% of people plan on watching the game. That's 21% say definitely not, 15% said probably not, and 8% aren't sure. All right, here's a rundown of the the top 10 states that order the most pizza on Super Bowl Sunday.

[A]

Kyle Pierce just sent over a picture of Rodney. What you got?

[B]

Send that to me. I'll put it on the screen for Brady.

[A]

I can't stop because of the stupid love thing for. Stop it.

[B]

Send it over. It's Just.

[A]

It's just a black man dressed as a maid. Who's got the black and white dress on.

[B]

A French maid.

[A]

Exactly. Actually looks like your house. Oh, my God. And it says, I just got a picture of Brady's slave.

[B]

Well, I'm gonna get a call this week. I'm not gonna make it. Not gonna be able to make it.

[A]

I'm sorry. It's gonna be. Everybody's gonna be hiring him. That's why you gotta double his pay for one week.

[B]

Just for today alone.

[A]

Yeah, give him the bonus. Give him the. I'm sorry, Kyle. You son of a. That one I didn't expect. As my email crop up. Well, Brady reads, I click on these.

[B]

Five states that order the most pizza on super bowl seven Sunday.

[A]

Oh, Arizona's got to be up.

[B]

Number five. Arizona was number six.

[A]

Yeah, we're pizza crazy.

[B]

Number five, Ohio. Number four, Florida. Three Pennsylvania. Two Michigan. And number one was Delaware.

[A]

Delaware. Oh, per capita, not very big, but. Oh, my God.

[B]

John. Don't tell any of your lawyer sponsors.

[A]

But I'm pretty sure you just caught.

[B]

An accident at the intersection. I was just at. I was laug. I had tears in my eyes. I looked over next to me and the people who were looking at me started laughing. No one was paying attention.

[A]

Toby. Well, what? I need more popped corn. Right.

[B]

Right away.

[A]

Zo, can you draw the shades? Did you know there were eight episodes of Roots? Couldn't you people have gotten this done a little quicker? Well, that's 16 hours of television and I'll be cleaning the entire time. Yes. I'm not going to lift a finger. Toby, we are out of Malcolm Windex. Do you have any close substitutes? Toby, please. I don't know where the cleaning supplies are. Do I look like a woman? Do I look like a woman coming over? Well, no, but. Come on. Come on.

[B]

We all know.

[A]

I'm going home. I can't. Your laugh is making me worse. You got two more hours, Brett. God damn it. I should have killed Frank years ago. What? Oh, no. I'm sorry. That hurt me. That. That was the. The pain. The pain is inside. It comes out every once in a while. I got aspirin. Pretty slays.

[B]

We can't go on.

[A]

And it's real. I'm sorry. This picture end. Oh, for a second I thought you gave up. I know. I'm sorry.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

No, this picture just ended me. I don't know why that got me so good, but it did. Can we post that one? Oh, no, no, no.

[B]

Just imagine it.

[A]

Yeah. If Somebody who doesn't know what the hell? Brady has a what now?

[B]

Toledo Brady slave. And it's real. Well, it is.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah, this is my new vacuum. I just got this. I have a nickname for it. Oh, I can't wait to hear that. Toby. It's cold. I'm gonna get you, sucker. It's the. I'm gonna get you, sucker.

[B]

Did you notice Brady's pride in his vacuum? It's a backpack.

[A]

It's a backpack he wears around the house.

[B]

Like Iron Man, Astronaut Jones.

[A]

Yeah, it's a Hoover because he doesn't want to use the hard R at the end of it. Oh, we need some bleach out here. Oh, I got the perfect bleach for that. It's the Clorox purple. I'm. I'm going to poop. Sorry. This is too funny. For no reason at all. The best part of the whole visual is the oblivious man in the back drinking a lemonade.

[B]

On his patio.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Watching.

[A]

Looking in the window. When he gets too close to the jewels with some barbecue going, he's always in the window. What are you talking about?

[B]

The jewels are on the patio with me within reach.

[A]

Do you need help wheeling out the safe again?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Would you help me whisper your mind? Mind the frame of the door. We get the safe outside where it's safe. He sits outside with a gun. Safe of valuables. I'm pooping. I'm literally going to poop. I got. I got to shut this picture off. I'm dying over here. Oh, my God.

[B]

Rodney's here. I. I hire someone off duty. Gilbert pd. Hey, can you park out front?

[A]

He's got his feather duster. Excuse me while I whip this out.

[B]

What?

[A]

Thank you, Trevor. All right, go ahead.

[B]

I'm glad you didn't make your screen when I wasn't home last week.

[A]

Oh, no, there's more.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Go ahead. Go ahead. No, please. Bated breath.

[B]

I text Ronnie. I said, I think he's near. No. What?

[A]

The new cleaner is near. It's just terrible.

[B]

Oh, up here, Ronnie.

[A]

You know what's odd about it? And I'm just gonna throw this out there. I'm not gonna finish this. You do what you yourself. Happy February, everybody.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Morning sickness. Morning sickness. 28. Can you repd Homburg's morning sickness? Brady misunderstood. Celebrating black history. He's reliving it.

[B]

He's treasuring it.

[A]

It's black History month. Let's get to work.

[B]

No wonder he's a no show.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'm crying. Harder now than I did last night. Damn it. Oh, my eyes can't take this. This is 24 hours of putting me through the paces, man. This is. I'm bipolar, but I was about as sad as I could get last night. I felt like an empty hole in my chest. And now I'm a lunatic. I'm like the joke poker. Oh my God. Oh. Oh my God. How awkward is it that Brady has a bunch of ninja appliances? He puts tape over all just in case you want to move the blender. Ninja blender's just got a piece of black tape over it. Turn it around. Why is your blender facing the wrong way? Oh, Oliver just text over. Woohoo. Slavery. Leave it to the Christian to bring it back. This is golden. I can't believe Brady is still going. All right, sorry, Brad. Please do your.

[B]

Now it's time for some science news. Hello, my friends, Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. We might find finally have a cure for jet lag. Researchers in Japan came up with a drug that resets your internal clock and moves it forward. They've only tested in mice. They say it could be a game changer. A 25 year study. We gave mice jet lag on purpose.

[A]

Yeah. Don't you have to ask them how you're feeling? You can't just like blood test check a jet lag, can you?

[B]

No. They put them in a plane and.

[A]

They'Re like, oh, Jesus, I gotta go.

[B]

They put. Put someone first class business.

[A]

I don't get jet lag. I don't. I'm one of the lucky ones that doesn't get it. Yeah, no, I. We got out of the plane, it was great. The sun was up.

[B]

Maybe it's the full day difference. I don't know.

[A]

Don't know. I don't.

[B]

It was weird timing. When we went to Thailand, it was the same thing because we landed like in the morning.

[A]

It's weird.

[B]

And it was like, okay, okay, it's just a day.

[A]

I. I can't sleep on a plane. So I stayed up the whole flight. I got off, can't sleep comfortably, but I did. Yeah, Sydney, bounce over to Cannes. Another three hours in the air. We landed. I'm like, I don't even know what time it is. But here we are holding all nighter last week. Something's wrong with me. I don't need sleep anymore. But that was when I was like, I'm good and went to the beach and laid there and I took like an hour nap. I never felt that, like, I don't know what people talk about.

[B]

I think it. I think it's hits people. I think it's harder than other people.

[A]

I think it's invented. That could be.

[B]

I think you tell yourself, I think.

[A]

It'S completely invented that if you're on a long flight, you can look forward to not feeling good at the.

[B]

They always recommend if you're going over to, you know, if you went over the pond to Europe or. Yeah, don't go to bed when you land, an afternoon nap or something like that.

[A]

Well, that's true no matter what. But I think jet lag is as mental as it is real. Because you're going to be tired. You were sick, sitting around doing nothing all day and then the time changes. You're gonna be confused. And I think if you tell yourself, oh, I've got jet lag. It just immediately gives you an excuse for every feeling. You've got to be tired. You can look, I bucked up. I think we flew for 18 hours and went right to the beach and played for a while and I did. You know, you relax a little on the beach. That's the job. But man, I loved that place. I could have stayed. I could have done 24 and then. And you know, the cool thing was because I left at midnight and got there a day later at 8 in the morning. It felt like a seven or eight hour flight because you never see the sun. You're flying against it so it comes up normal. So it just felt like a really long night. We were in the air for a long time. It was. Yeah, you can talk yourself out of jet lag. Crandall's driving around Gilbert and just snapped this photo. Oh no. Jesus. Will you please stop? Hey, I'm Rodney in the lady made outfits in front of the red car. That's a. That's a red Mercedes Coup.

[B]

That's the coup.

[A]

Come on, come on.

[B]

Make Rodney a little taller too.

[A]

Give Rodney some. God damn it. Give the man some pride. Winston just texted goes man, y' all are on one today. Like no, Brady's just being oblivious with his new maid and he said I just invented a new word perception list. And I think that's it. That's Brady's production company.

[B]

A 25 year study found that eating cheese might prevent Alzheimer's.

[A]

People with.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

What the hell? Sorry. We're having fun today, Brady.

[B]

Play along.

[A]

This is not how a slave stream always this subservient. We've gone buck wild. That's. I love it. I think it's hilarious. I'M sorry. Go on.

[B]

That's all right. That's your science news.

[A]

Oh, come on, man.

[B]

Oh well let's. Let's get to the video.

[A]

So you say eating all that cheese keeps another story.

[B]

Oh, I got three more.

[A]

But yeah. No, no, the Alzheimer's thing. I want to hear that. The cheese and Alzheimer's.

[B]

It said you're. It will lower your genetic risk if you eat a lot of full fat cheese.

[A]

Like what's a lot though?

[B]

You're gonna be £400.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was gonna say you won't have.

[A]

You'll have.

[B]

I don't know. It didn't have a.

[A]

They're gonna give like amount. Yeah like a ratio or something. All right.

[B]

Jupiter is a lot smaller than we thought.

[A]

I saw. That's gonna change a ton of stars.

[B]

32 change the textbooks.

[A]

Yeah, but.

[B]

Well it's around 89000 miles wide. 83000 miles pole to pole.

[A]

And what did they say it was.

[B]

Like 1100, about 5 miles? 1100.

[A]

I think that's what I read. And fit inside Jupiter is what they thought. And it shrunk down quite a bit.

[B]

Well it five miles off the first number and 15 off the second number.

[A]

Yeah. That's big. That's a lot when you're talking about something that. That big.

[B]

But from 89000 miles to now 1321.

[A]

Earths will fit in Jupiter. And that's the old Jupiter. I think now it's 1100. I think that's what I read.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

We were a couple hundred Earths.

[B]

It's cold.

[A]

It's shrunk. I swear I was getting water.

[B]

The good news is the size of Uranus remains the same. Christ.

[A]

Let's go back to Rodney. Such a good.

[B]

That's why he wanted to continue.

[A]

Such a Good morning Way to manhole cover. That fun.

[B]

I'm thinking about my Got a little Star wars news. A team in the University of Oregon found a supermassive black hole. Still science. It is spewing more energy than the Death Star.

[A]

Death Star's not real.

[B]

Thank you. Star wars nerds have calculated how powerful the Death Star would be in real life. The black hole they studied has been burping up the remains of a shredded star for about four years. They say the amount of energy is kicking out at least a trillion times stronger than the Death Star.

[A]

Still have no basic their word for it because one's a toy.

[B]

Yeah. There's a new delicacy in Florida at this pizza restaurant.

[A]

Isn't it sort of like Saying my finger gun can do this. It's like it can shoot like a trillion mile an hour. Pew pews. Yeah. And then the black hole is a. A trillion times stronger than my pew pews that I imagine. And we've lost Brad.

[B]

He's.

[A]

He's sleeping in the corner. Let him be.

[B]

Buck's coal fired pizza.

[A]

Is this still Star wars news?

[B]

Oh, that's your science.

[A]

Oh, there we go.

[B]

They're featuring iguana pizza. Because the cold weather in Florida, it's been freezing. The iguanas, they've been falling out of trees. So this trapper brought in a couple of them and they decided to put them on pizza.

[A]

They're killing them and eating them.

[B]

The tails. Oh no. And they're still alive, right?

[A]

They don't freeze to death just hibernating, right?

[B]

Yeah, but some of them have died.

[A]

Oh my God. Well, yeah, the ones on the pizzas.

[B]

And then some people actually. I mean, this guy's a trapper.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think some people want him off the.

[A]

I saw a guy on TV the other. It was very funny. It was. They were frozen and he found like 40 of them and he laid down in a bag and he put. He covered himself with him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And his body warmth. And they started to kind of. A couple of them started. He was bringing them back to life, basically. It was neat.

[B]

I saw another guy in a pickup truck and it was just full of these frozen iguanas. There's a picture of the guy eating the pizza. He can't remember.

[A]

Gross.

[B]

And finally, here's a little how much the Olympic medals would be worth this year for the Winter Olympics. What would your guess a gold medal is worth? Around. What if you just were to scrap?

[A]

They're not real gold. Most of the time they're plated silver. Oh, really? Or. Well, they have the plate around a silver medal. That's what they used to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they never made pure chunks of gold, so the weight was different. But usually it was about, I don't know, 4004, 4 or $5,000.

[B]

2300 for the gold.

[A]

All right, well, gold's a 404. 4900. Is it 49. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Silver medals are worth 1400. And the bronze 50 bucks. 5.6.

[A]

Yeah. Bronze is worth worthless. They might as well make them out of copper.

[B]

That's what they are basically. Bronze plated. And the rest is mostly copper.

[A]

Oh, you remember his last vacation? It's Brady. Gonna take Caitlin and Rodney on vacation so they can go pick strawberries together. He didn't write strawberries. I changed it.

[B]

No, I won't go.

[A]

Why wouldn't you send somebody else to do it?

[B]

This just in from Winston as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, gents, what a way to close.

[A]

Out the first week of Black History today. Exactly. Thank you, Winston. Oh, my Lord. All right, videos. Assume you got videos. Plantation Brady. AI. Stop it. Everyone, stop it. That is enough.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

William says, how long has Brady had a black male maid? And what else is he hiding from us? God, I don't know. But when it. When it reveals itself.

[B]

And isn't it. It's like. It's never like.

[A]

Well, I liked how he started. That's what I was gonna say, because all I was talking about was gender roles. And he goes, well, here we go. And I watched your arms go like. I gotta tell it, because I said no woman would want a man as a maid. And I didn't know that that was what I was setting up.

[B]

I was waiting for the right time.

[A]

Now you found it. Fantabulous. Anyway, do you have any videos? Nope. Right on you.

[B]

It's Friday.

[A]

Trying to keep your composure. Okay, okay, we'll start with these. All right. God damn it. Oh, geez. Oh, is that a turd? There's a woman in a bed. I think it's like a sausage. Okay, good. She's holding the sausage, but it's. Oh, she's got a. She's got a dipping. The dipping sauce is some man milk that has been. Oh, she took the sausage. And some guy finished in a. In a. In a little Tupper to go try. Oh, he's still going. Look at that little guy. There's a tiny little piece. Penis. And he's just. He's finishing up all over her, and she's just eating sausage while he. Oh, this dude's shooting constantly.

[B]

That two finger man.

[A]

He's got a little wiener, but that thing is full. All right, time for breakfast. Oh, no. All right, we got one of those things opening up somebody's B hole, and they've poured in whipped cream and Cocoa puff. She's eating Cocoa Puffs out of somebody's butt with a speculum that opens their butt up the size of a baseball. Come on. Come on, humans. Be better. All right, next we have.

[B]

Oh, cigarette butts.

[A]

What is going on? What's happening? Somebody's smoking with their vagina. Oh, she's used a vagina as an ashtray. There's hundreds of cigarettes inside of her. Her vagina. And every time she coughs like she's pouring the Ashtray into herself. We didn't see that to start it. And then she starts to open it up, and then there's just cigarettes inside her nose. Smoking cigarettes. Oh, man. Smoking kills. What was that?

[B]

All right.

[A]

Oh, man, I'm having a tough 24 sounding. Oh, we got a guy's got something. Is that a. It's a butter knife in his urethra. The whole thing. That's just wrong. Yes. Oh, my God. It was a full butter knife in a man's.

[B]

And no blood.

[A]

No, no, that's. Oh, God. What in the world? What in the wide wild sports. All right, this one. Jesus Christmas. All right, here's another one. This guy's cutting off his penis. Or is his balls.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Oh, what is that? Is that a woman's labia? Oh, it's a woman's labia. Just sawing on him. He's sawing on with a pocket knife. He's sawing on him with a pocket knife. He's cutting them right off. Off they go. Ah, he's cleaning it up. Oh, what is that? What's going on with her genitals? They're not.

[B]

Top part.

[A]

It's like a. She's got a.

[B]

She's got both of them.

[A]

She's got a little tiny pee pee head where her lady button should be and a massive.

[B]

Did he tie it off?

[A]

Massive set of labia, which probably would have been scrotum skin. So this is like a hermaphrodite. Just took a raven's crest and sawed off.

[B]

What's he looking to catch the.

[A]

Yeah, you got to get the details. The detrain on it. Well, he's doing some work. He's a at home. Home DIY guy. Oh, my God. Yeah, they laid down on a. On a map of the subway system. Okay, next. There's a girl in a Porta John. She's so drunk. This is happening at the Phoenix Open. She put her hand in the Porta John and now she's eating it. Now she's eating it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She's got her whole hand in her mouth and she is so drunk.

[B]

She's not that ugly either.

[A]

She looks a little like Meline or the girl that used to work here. Oh, my God. She reached into the. Well used Porta John toilet. Oh, Lord. I can't look at that. She's dead. Yeah, she's definitely dead. I've never seen anybody that drunk before that. She's going back in and her friends are filming it instead of stopping her. Like you pick your friend up when their hand Starts going into the portal footage on.

[B]

That's. Oh, she lost fantasy football. That was a punishment.

[A]

Oh, and we'll just end with this. All right. The lady with her legs open, and she's gonna. She's in a red lingerie. She's got some soccer balls, something similar, toy soccer balls. And she's got her whole hand in her butthole.

[B]

Now, I've seen.

[A]

I've seen something like this. And her hand is in her butthole now, and she's reaching it and out of there. That's the noise you're hearing at home. Now she's going to take one of these toy soccer balls and put it in there. Now she's popping it out of her bottom. One little red soccer ball just came out. That's nice. That was cute. Oh, here comes a second. Now she's got a blue one. A blue one's coming up. First two were red. This one's bigger. Wow. This one's like a kid's. This is a. This is a youth league soccer ball. All right. The butt. The butt struggled with the blue one. The blue one's a little big. It came back in.

[B]

That close up was a little much.

[A]

It looks like a monster's ink eye. It's coming out. Oh, here comes the youth soccer ball. That's what me and my dog Jack Ham play with. Is that another one, or is that the rose and the roses? Congratulations. Well, in there, she pooped an entire youth league soccer ball. I believe those are eight. I forget what the dimensions. 12 inch in diameter, I think. Is that what that. I don't remember.

[B]

She won her pool.

[A]

I play that with my dog, Jack Ham. I call him Ronaldo because if there's a soccer boy, he starts hitting it with his feet. He's really good at it. And then you go to try to kick it, and he blocks with his hands. And I'm like, you are a soccer master and can't use your hands. He's the only thing he's got. And then. So he'll try to pick it up, but it's just a little too big. The youth soccer ball that goes in that lady's butt is just enough for him to carry.

[B]

Actually, he could. That's not him.

[A]

It's not hands. It's his feet. Thank you. There you go, everybody. That. That is your Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock media station. He said fully erect. 98. Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Friday's flying by. Ain't nothing wrong with that. And I just thank you to everybody who's being so kind to me on the emails. I'm going through as many as I can. I'm trying to fire back a little hello or thank you because I had to do the worst thing you can do. And I heard that little commercial there for Hercules over at Lost a home pet rescue run while that was going and my man Frankie, 14 year old little Terry or something or other. Frank, we had to say goodbye to Frankie yesterday so I'm playing injured this morning but thanks to slavery. Slavery. I'm having the time of my life.

[B]

Frank would have wanted it that way.

[A]

Frank would have loved it that way. He was pure white as the driven snow. This one says. I gotta tell you man, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today but listening to you and Brett laughing hysterically at Brady's horrible mate made me laugh harder than I had laughed in weeks. Brett, you can't do four days a week. Fridays are pure gold when pop pop starts to f fade. Thanks as always for the last. Greg, a couple of these things. This lady emails in as nice Megan has emailed in and says I lost my son this Monday. And I mean my dog. He was at home with me when the vet came took him from me. It was the first time I'd experienced this type of pain. I'm no fool. I knew it was time. I couldn't let my son suffer. But it happened so quickly. I do know he's in a better place. I feel like I lost the center of my being. I. I couldn't leave the spot where he left for three solid days. But finally I was able to get back to work yesterday and I heard some badass positive news there. After everything, it was power. And I instantly felt my son. I wake up to you guys every morning and it's the only crap that can really get me up. But it was your story I heard first. I'm not gonna lie. I couldn't make it to work because I broke down again. Sorry. After a few days of not feeling it. He was with me through everything. All my grandma growing and his. I've always known how much he. We relied on each other. But now he's gone and it's like I'm empty. Like starting over. It's really weird. Regardless, my strength is there and is is in his. Is in me. Your story pulled my heartstrings and universally very coincidental. I'm sorry for your loss, John, and to be able to speak strongly about One of the hardest things I've ever had to do. You did in true strength. I can hear your voice now, how much it meant to you. And thanks for sharing and allowing me to break down this morning once again. Again. But I'll get back to work on Monday. Much stronger. You guys are badass. And one thing, I would love the challenge to keep up with one of your conversations in persons, because they are great. Stay strong, then. Super talk. Thank you, Megan. That's very nice. And it is. It's one of those things I always tell people I've got. I got an affinity for the fuzzy puppies. I got the dogs, and I got four more at home. And the house still feels super duper empty, which is really strange. It's my first day in 14 years of getting up and going to work without Frank being around. I will not go home to him today, today. And that just tears a hole in my chest. But Also, I had 14 years with an animal that lives. 14 years. Amazing, you know, So I always think of the life Frankie would have had had I not found him on that fence, leashed up to that fence in July with no water. I wonder what would have happened to him. And then I, you know, not to pat myself on the back. My dogs have one hell of a life, that is for sure. I make sure. Sure they do. And so my gift back to Frank is to make sure another little Frank that's out there right now will get that opportunity to have a frank life again. And to all the people out, I said this to Eric, Brian, the other day. We were talking about he lost his dog. And he goes, I don't know if I can ever do it again. I'm like, you have to. You're good at owning dogs, and they need good people. And it isn't. It isn't. It's selfish to say, I won't do this for another one when you're so good and get living the quality life you gave to the last one. They don't last long. You're signing up for heartbreak, but it's worth it and to give another one a shot later. That's why I love working with Loster Home Pet Rescue and the Humane Society and all the rest is that you sign up for the heartache, but you sign up for the joy for all the time you get. And I've had dogs that passed away in six years, but that's all they had. That was it six years, and that was all I got. But it was the best six years because it was the Only six years they got. And I got to spend it with them, which I absolutely love. My Benny, who passed away six years old, he gave me his six years. That's all he got. And I got it. And that's the gift. So if you can put that pain aside, Megan, and say, you know what? I owe another dog that great life he'd be doing. Those little fuzzy guys who give and give and give, and we don't deserve them.

[B]

It's the best rebound you can ever have.

[A]

It really is. And it is an insult to the old. It's a tribute. It's a tribute to your last dog to say, you know what? The love I shared with you, I'm going to give that to someone else. And you taught me how to be better, so the next time, I'm going to even be better. Dogs deserve all of it, and they. They need us.

[B]

15 years of Petey.

[A]

Awesome.

[B]

I thought I'd never get. I'm done.

[A]

It's hard. It hurts. But then you look and you're like, another Petey is out there needing them. Exactly. And you're good at it. You gave Petey 15 years. I gave Frankie 14. I've done done this. God, I've done. I've had in my life about 14 or 15 dogs I've had to put down. And it does not get easier. It doesn't get easier. And you don't want another pd. You want another bond. You want a new bond, and you get it. And the good thing is you've just. And that dog reckoned with. Frank knew the day I got him, you saved me. And he was glued to me like, you saved me. And then he just became the king of the house. Like, the dude was 15, 16 pounds, and if any other dog had a ball in their mouth, Frank would go up and take it and go, put it down. Like, these are mine. And he. And he allowed them to play, but when he wanted it, he'd walk up and they just hand it to him like, yeah, he's the man. So he. He was. He was his little foreman. He'd wander around the house and see what's going on. All right, a little work to do here. A little work to do here. He was awesome, unique in his own way. And I owe it to another dog later, not right now, but very soon, to another dog to see. Say, Frankie would say, hey, go save that one. He needs you. Like I did.

[B]

I also understand how people adopt their dogs in similar ages.

[A]

Yeah. So that you're not constantly going through that puppies bring. I said this to people who have dogs who are older and they're kind of slowing down. A puppy comes into their life and they get puppy energy again. They. They're, you know, you can get an older dog, a little more juice as long as they're healthy, but they're just slowing down. It's the same as an old person. If they start hanging around younger people, they do younger things. Anyway, thank you to everybody for. My mind is definitely on that and I know I'm harping on it, but that was a big punch for me and I'm. My chest is definitely heavy. That weird feeling you get, isn't it? This straight like when you lose something and it's like your chest just has that thing in it. Which is why we all say, oh, my heart. Heartbroke. Your chest feels just like something's in there. Just like weighing. It's just. And it won't go away. It's going to be days and days before I feel like, oh, it's gone. And I kind of want it there right now. You know, it's a great lyric in a song. If it doesn't hurt, it wasn't worth a thing. You know, if it doesn't hurt, it didn't matter. And boy, it hurts. But this job's cathedral Arctic. And thank you to you guys for. You've been through enough in the last year with everything you've got and you come back in here and you just kind of all of us. It's kind of a relief. Yeah, it's, you know, get some laughs in and normaly in your life. Exactly.

[B]

Get a Brady gem here and there.

[A]

Oh, yeah. A story about slavery. Yeah.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

Brady Brady took my sorrow and said, I have a slave. And then I went crazy for 45 minutes to an hour and really had a good time. It didn't hurt that Brett was the greatest laugh track on the planet. It's awesome. And then you say, get back to normalcy. And the story comes across the news that President Trump has put out a video of himself as a lion and the Obamas as monkeys. This is not gonna go well.

[B]

True social.

[A]

Yeah, he put it out on truth Social. He does not like the Obamas, but you can't do what he did here, here. And he put it says when the second vote stopped counting rooted in other countries as well. President Trump was significantly ahead. And it's got this video, this, this chart where he's winning, he's winning, he's winning. And then suddenly he loses. And then look Then he put the king of the jungle up there. They weren't even involved. No, no. He's got something else brewing there. It's just got this whole thing. And then he starts this video, and then he's walking around with his head on a lion's body. Body. And then the Obamas are there, and. And they've even asked the press secretary, what the hell was that? She goes, oh, it was. He's king of the jungle. And then the Democrats are just the lunatics in the characters from the Lion King. And. And they put the heads of Barack and Michelle on monkeys and like, oh, my God, could have picked another animal. You could have not done it. Well, I know that, too.

[B]

Just go with the lion.

[A]

Just stop or stop, stop. Don't. Just don't. It's almost like there's, like, right when you're like, all right, everything's a little bit calmer. It's like, I'm going to light a huge fire. Watch this. Hold my beer. This is insanity. And it isn't. Look, the argument's going to come. Oh, he's just kidding. Okay, sure. But you know what you're doing? Anyway, it's not going to go well. That's not a good one. And so I kind of liked my staying away from getting back to normalcy.

[B]

And I can't help, you know, like, is that real or did they. Is someone.

[A]

No, they're talking about it in the press secretary's like, of course he did it, but he was kid. You know what? Let's talk about policies rather than this. And they're like, we want to talk about that. Just don't. Please don't. Anyway, then you got that going on. And then I got this one. Where is that? Where'd that go? Oh, no, I gotta find the one. I. I must have thrown it out accidental. Well, I'll get it. Hold on a second, everybody. I'll be brave. Just talk amongst yourselves. Brady has a slave. Discuss. All right, hold on. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming, it's coming. I've got it. It was a great email. I wanted to get.

[B]

Can we post here?

[A]

Oh, here we go. Colonel Brady's pretty good. Yeah, that's a good one. Put that up. It says, hey, Holmberg. Emergency, emergency. Paging Dr. Beets. My wife wants to get breast implants because she doesn't feel sexy anymore. She says that will help her feel sexy and spark our incredibly dead sex life. She found a guy she will go to In San Diego, $24,000? Is that how much breast implants are now? Geez Louise. She's a very fit girl. I asked her. Don't they have doctors here? Here we go. The woman doesn't have a job job. I'm gonna have to foot the bill for this, which I'm willing to do. But we haven't had sex in about 10 months because she doesn't feel like she's proportionate. She has small breasts, but she's in great shape. Would you guys do this? Emergency. Emergency. She says she's doing it because she saw my Internet history and I do watch a lot of huge boob porn. And that's because it's different than what I have. Isn't that what a fantasy is supposed to be? This happens today. The discussion. I need your help next, Ricky. First off, you're a grown man. Stop calling yourself Ricky. You're Rick now or Richard, right? It sounds a little heavy just doing it.

[B]

Yeah, I just said between 5 and 12,000.

[A]

That's what I thought. 10 or 12 cans is she going for? What is $12,000? And that sounds like she's doing more.

[B]

Than just a mommy making. She could.

[A]

Well, if she's. But he says she's in great shape. She might have that. That baby, you know, bath that she just can't get rid of. The Pringles tummy.

[B]

Yeah, and that could be the doctor of the stars too.

[A]

That's what I'm thinking she's doing. She's going to a high end doctor and thinks that paying more means better results. I don't know what's going on there, but I would say this. If she hasn't rewarded you for turning 10 months with a physical relationship and you put boobs in, they're for someone else. Peace out. Yeah, she's gonna feel good about herself and then realize, oh, it wasn't the breasts that were keeping me from having sex with you, it was you. And you're gonna watch her walk out of there, hourglass shaped with those twenty four thousand dollar cans, and Brady's maid's gonna slap him around looking for a little rock. Yeah, that's rough. I. In this day and age, again, we go back to gender roles. If she's asking for money for boob implants. No, you buy those for yourself. If you reverse the role. Either way, a dude's never worked once a day in his life and his wife's making money and he's like, hey, I want some plastic surgery and I want to do this. And what? He'd be a deadbeat you'd consider him a loser. What do you need plastic surgery for? Walking. I just. I want to look better. I want to feel better about me. And, like, you know what? Pick up the ball a little bit. Or a job. Go get a job. But a woman can do that. And then the guy's like, maybe I'll buy her cans. Maybe that'll make me feel better. I would recommend no on this. I'd say no. Let her fix what's wrong. The boobs are going to be. They're not going to fix anything, right?

[B]

No.

[A]

She's going to come back with bigger boobs and still have a problem. Problem with you.

[B]

It's like the buying your first boat, your rv. You discover what you like, and then you want more. After that, you gotta go second one. So she might eventually be. Ah, I'm not real happy with this first one. I'm gonna go tweak it.

[A]

Well, there's the odds that it's probably not gonna be the last surgery yet.

[B]

Wait, you know people with two RVs? No, the thing when you buy an RV, okay. The first, you realize, oh, this thing's only.

[A]

You will compare breasts to recreational vehicles.

[B]

Well, they are kind of recreational. Brett's not wrong.

[A]

But at least. Yeah.

[B]

One, you'll enjoy the ride.

[A]

Yeah. Well. Yeah. Well, one, you're gonna get to play a lot more. Yeah. Yeah. And every once in a while, you're not going to watch the recreational vehicle drive away with another dude behind the wheel and go, bye, that's my rv. See, they're not yours. They're placed inside of another person's body. That becomes their property. If you foot the bill for this and she hasn't had sex with you for 10 months, there's a bigger problem than. This ain't gonna help just her boobs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the people who always try to go on vacation to spark their marriage. They just take a vacation for a week or so from what's back home, and then they come back home to the problem. You're not solving anything. You're just ignoring it out loud for a little. Don't buy that woman moves. There'll be somebody else's toys down the road. And that's fine if you want them to be, but she can do it herself if she, you know, Tell her to get a job and earn it. That's not a bad idea. Why don't you go out and get a job and then hold the 24k for your boobs that cost 6 grand? I don't know. Why? But Scottsdale doesn't have any plastic surgeons. What? San Diego. That's less than Scottsdale.

[B]

Get a couple more bits.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Have a couple dudes come to the house and price shop your cans. I'll call. We'll call Precision Air and we'll have a couple of plumbers come by, see if those guys can bid it out. And a couple of roofing guys that knock on the door. We'll see what they've got. Emergency. Emergency. Have that conversation today and say no. I think this is a no. Hard no for everybody. Yeah. Absolutely. I don't think you put boobs in some. Somebody who hasn't. Who says that she won't have sex with you. Let's put it this way. You also haven't had sex with me in 10 months. Would you give me $24,000 with the promise that yes, I would. Maybe.

[B]

Maybe. So it's not a yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's. Let's see what happens at the end of the 24,000.

[A]

What if she doesn't like him and it makes her more insecure?

[B]

Oh man. And it. She. That's what I'm saying. There's a possibility of.

[A]

Anyway.

[B]

So I think you might have mentioned. It doesn't. It doesn't solve the problem.

[A]

No. You got something else going on. Yeah. She's got some insecurities and maybe there some of it you could help with. But putting a new set of cans in is only going to make her feel good about her and then still look at you and go, now that I feel good about me, I still don't want to have sex with him. It's going to amplify what she doesn't want. Like about you. She doesn't like you anymore. That's all it comes down to. Three needs. How many times do I have to go over my new philosophy? Desire. Manifestation of desire. Support. That's all a man needs. And an occasional thumb in the butt. That's it. But that's the star. That's the Sometimes why to my. My algorithm. Gotta knock first. Yeah. Okay. You gotta text before you come over. Am I gonna answer the door? Otherwise it's going to be a home invasion. And we got an entertainment drill coming up in just moments. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. Still streaming. Homberg's Morning Sickness [e-mail] before we get to this entertainment drill, I want to let you know we've got our super bowl party and I don't I don't even know if. I don't care if we're allowed to say it or not. It's a Super Bowl. But we're gonna watch the super bowl at Copper Blues downtown on Sunday, 4 o'. Clock. And we have got this thing loaded up and now it has extra meaning because it's for the Humane Society and I've got, you know, Frankie on my brain. My little guy passed away last night. So now we have the Super Sunday for Frankie at Copper Blues and all the rest of the dogs that we've all lost in our past. Frankie is now headlong lining because he's the most recent of dogs who gave and gave and gave to us. And now let's do a tribute to all the dogs that need a life like Frankie had. And we can help out. The Humane Society is going to be the beneficiary of this. You come down, you donate, come watch the game with us. We're going to give away all sorts of stuff. And an arcade system for from Prestige billiards, gift cards from Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns 150, a snowboard from Action Ride Shop. Capita. That's awesome. Mattresses from my folks over at boring mattress mattress, $300 carpet cleaning from Zerorez, $100 gift basket from Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers. $200 gift card to crazy girls, cabarets and cash in the form of gift cards. So we're gonna have thousands of dollars to give away and it's all gonna support the Arizona humane side. If you guys come down, not gonna ask you. There's no cover charge. You just drop money in and donate. Let's see if we can raise a bunch of money in honor of my loss this week of Frankie Loss. It's almost like an Italian thing. At the funeral, they give you an envelope, but this toy. That's what I'm asking. Frankie gets his envelope. This is Frankie's funeral. And all the proceeds are going to go over to the Humane Society, which I absolutely love working with them. Super Sunday at Copper Blues. Head on over there. Doors open at 2. We'll get there around 4. Game starts at 4:30. We'll watch the whole thing. We'll give everybody stuff, have a good time, hope for a good game and tease Toledo if they lose. That's the good thing. John, can you throw in a free cleaning from Rodney? If Brady, can we get Rodney somebody pay for? Well, you know what we can do? We'll just put him up on the stage and people can bid.

[B]

No, he's mine.

[A]

You can see him on Facebook. Yeah, somebody. An AI video for Rodney's services if you're interested. Oh, my God. All right, it's time for Brady to entertain us. The entertainment drills brought to you by the Schwartz Laser eye Center. Friend Dr. Jay Schwartz is up there waiting for you. Make that call and get your complimentary consultation and check it out. It's real easy. Eye doctors don't make it hard anymore at all. They're super simple and their technology is incredible. They find things so fast compared to the way it used to be. And that was just a couple years ago. All of this stuff is incredible. And again, like I told you, our boss Tripp is going in there to get some work done on his eyes. And they have a. An organic lens that they can put in your eye. And then if your eyes start to change, they don't give you new lenses. They just use some sort of weird, like, light that can adapt the lens that's already in there. Like, they used to change your glasses. They can do it with your eyeballs now. So they're not putting a new one on. They put a new one on there. Okay. And let's say like a year from now, you're like, ah, it's starting to go a little.

[B]

It just can adjust.

[A]

It can be adjusted a little bit. It just adjusted to, like. It's incredible. You never need glasses and contacts with that deal. It's awesome. And if you're like me, I hate glasses. I like my meta glasses because I can record and take pictures, but if I ever had to use them to see, drive me nuts. They're not dirty all the time, and that's a fact. So sunglasses are the same way. Even though I wish I could figure out how to make your transitional lenses inside your eyes, someday that'll happen. But Dr. J. Schwartz has it all ready for you. Schwartz Laser Eyes team is the IDOCs for the Suns and the Diamondbacks. That's why they're teamidoc.com check it out. Schwartz Laser Eye Center, Brady Entertainment.

[B]

Tony Hawk wanted to clear some things out. Some misinformation, some clean. Clear some things up. Basically, he wanted. There's a rumor that he married one of his wives on Epstein's island.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And he said I.

[A]

He.

[B]

He was married four times.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, never once did I meet Jeffrey Epstein and it wasn't on his island because all these emails, you know, the 3 million email exchange, by the way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Joe Bogan is mentioned and Is that somebody?

[A]

Kirby?

[B]

Yesterday, one of her. She's searching it Classmates said, hey, one of your relatives has mentioned the Epstein things. So it's Joseph Bogan.

[A]

Who's that?

[B]

Same spelling. Who is that?

[A]

No idea.

[B]

So I'm like, are we related? Guys from Cincinnati, Ohio. I text my brother yesterday. I'm like, are we related to a Joe Bogan? So my brother pulls up a family tree.

[A]

Yeah. Nothing.

[B]

And there's one side of the Bogan family, a cousin that I think it's Royal Edward Bogan had a son named Joseph Bogan.

[A]

Royal Edward Bogan is not within the last generation to go to Epstein Island.

[B]

No, it was. It would have been.

[A]

What was his mate's name? Oh, he had himself a Rodney. Royal Edward Bogan is not like the father of the guy who went to Epstein Island. You guys went too deep.

[B]

Because Royal Edward was 1800, 1882.

[A]

Why even search past the 60s?

[B]

Well, he had two sons who had a daughter and a son.

[A]

Where's this going, Brett? I don't know. You were lost. Plane is landing somewhere, just like the Malaysian. Why did you search the 1800s to see if this guy's been to Epstein Island?

[B]

Well, because Any Bogans have Joe Bogan as a son.

[A]

Why did you go back so far? Well, and if it's his son, Brady. The son's 120.

[B]

James Bogan. We don't know. The kids that he had, they're from Cincinnati, on that side.

[A]

You're telling us things that don't happen. You know you're doing that. No, there's James Bogan. We don't know if he's got a Joe Bogan. We're looking for Joe Bogan here.

[B]

He's missing some steps in the right.

[A]

So are you. If there's no Joe Bogan, there's no story.

[B]

Well, there could be. I don't know what you're saying.

[A]

Well, there could be a Joe Bogan in my family.

[B]

Joe Bogan could have had Joe Bogan, but he.

[A]

You can't. You're telling us a story that drives us nuts. Because you don't know.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. After James Bogan.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Out of Cincinnati, Ohio. Because Joe Bogan, if you look him up, was a professor at. Right.

[A]

But he's not on your family tree.

[B]

Ucla, usc was also the guy, one of the creating founders of split brain surgery, which got a Nobel Peace.

[A]

This is James Bogan.

[B]

That's Joseph Bogan.

[A]

Where'd Royal come from? Where's who? All I'm asking is, why did you go to the.

[B]

We don't know, because my brother Has a tree that goes all the way there. It stops at James Bogan in Cincinnati. And it doesn't say what his kids had, which would be right around that time. Time that Joe Bogan would be.

[A]

So you're just going to place that in there just in case.

[B]

No.

[A]

We went back to the 1800s. Can you see where it gets hard for the follower?

[B]

Can you see where I'm following?

[A]

No, no, no. I have no. Like, the reason why is because it's.

[B]

A bit meandering because Joe Bogan is in Cincinnati, Ohio.

[A]

I heard that.

[B]

So I went back to see where our roots are from. Cincinnati, Ohio, 1800s. Yeah. Well, pork. Porkopolis is from.

[A]

This is. Again, this is too much info. We're just looking for Joe Bogan for the last 50 or 60 years. So once you couldn't find one past 1970, there was really no point in continuing. But you brought us Royal Edward Bogan.

[B]

Well, I brought you that because I thought that's an interesting name to have that.

[A]

He's insane and I love him for it. You need to duplicate your. Yourself and then tell yourself a story. No, no, no. And duplicate. And then tell yourself a story and then have that guy go, wait a second. Now I see they're everywhere. We got to do a lot of math. They're fun stories. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, but in that whole story, Brady, at the end, there was no joke.

[B]

I've never had problems telling stories.

[A]

No, you know, you've never tell.

[B]

You're the guy that interjects stuff. I could interrupt your stories all the time, Brady.

[A]

No, you couldn't. I'm more. I'm. I'm going to say it out loud. I'm a bit more eloquent than you at storytelling.

[B]

Sure you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On the air.

[A]

My point being. Okay, off the air, I'm a complete retard here. Listen.

[B]

No, I am.

[A]

No, nobody's saying you're. Understand that this was a story of a search for Joe Bogan. Yeah, there is.

[B]

I thought it was.

[A]

And you continue to tell us the story. All this. This got lost.

[B]

What I'm saying is my brother stopped at. He's like, I. I don't see a Joe Bogan as far as I know. But I don't know the kids of James Bogan.

[A]

But you went back to Royal Edward Bogan. Brad, you're with me. You were waiting for something. I'm trying, I'm trying. It didn't land.

[B]

There might be a possibility it could be off of James Bogan.

[A]

Sure. The Name Bogan alone. We all think that. But then you said you went in the family tree. We all went, ooh, he's gonna find him. And then we went to the 1800s and I'm like, we've gone too far. The story doesn't need this part. It got a little lost.

[B]

Sorry. Then I went too far back.

[A]

Well, yes, that was my. Why are we talking about 1800?

[B]

I didn't realize I was going too far back.

[A]

1800S. Epstein Island. You didn't Captain Sully Lo plane better.

[B]

I. I like how you think you know what's going on.

[A]

Well, don't get mad at us trying to figure it out. None of us know what's going on. When you tell stories, we have to ask it.

[B]

Well, here's something. Or it's just too old of a story.

[A]

No, that's. Don't even. Yeah.

[B]

On Dinosaurs 4 episodes premieres on that's.

[A]

Where Joe Bogan used to live with the dinosaurs back in the day.

[B]

We don't go far. Just one deeper fall. Bogan. Well, actually wouldn't have last name.

[A]

Probably not. Yeah, they didn't have surnames then it.

[B]

Was the town he's from who fall.

[A]

Oh, I see. Okay.

[B]

The docu series is being narrated by Morgan fans Freeman so it's pretty cool. It will be on Netflix March 6. And if Spielberg's by the creatures are look pretty amazing, I think this is kind of cool. Jelly Roll is giving his grammy to the Nashville juvenile detention center he spent time in.

[A]

They're just gonna melt it down.

[B]

They want to display it like you're.

[A]

Gonna use it as a weapon.

[B]

This guy did it. You could do it.

[A]

Whatever. No, you can't. No, you. Nope, you can't.

[B]

Every once in a while.

[A]

Don't do that. Don't give those jackasses hopes. Those juvenile delinquents. None of them are gonna make it. Jelly rolls an accident. He's one of none. Giving them false hope with Grammys is just gonna piss him off later when they start to fail. It's like I was told I'd be more like Jelly Roll. Let them know that they're probably going to be the lowest level blue collar plumber. You're not even allowed to touch the tools. You might be able to drive the truck. You're. You're lost in life. You're not going to make it. If you do, it's a nice way to. It's a fact. Just, you know, it's like going into like an inner city school and going. You should all rap. No you can't. I'm tired of this false help.

[B]

You should run the juvie.

[A]

Hey, look, somebody's got to take a look at these kids. And with little reality, their parents didn't care about them at all. So the parents screwed them up. They end up in juvenile hall. Now they think they're going to win a Grammy. Go your son. There's a Grammy sitting up there. From one guy, one did. Look, if I know that's it. That's all it did. The rest of them plumbers and drug addicts back in jail. In fact, you should just get them a second set of bars. Cuz say when we open these, you're just going to walk right into another one. Recidivism rate, they don't put that.

[B]

You're hired.

[A]

The recidivism rate for juvenile hall is 85%. End up in a real prison. They ain't getting Grammys. They're going back to jail. Somebody needs to give them a dose of reality instead of giving them hope like that. I'm going to be a rabbit like jelly roll. No, you're not. You're going to be. You're going to be a drug adder. Oh, I know that. That stat recidivism rate is for rehab. 5% success rate. 95. Failure in a rehab center. Juvenile hall is an 85% second visit. So give up. Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Just like the parents did initially.

[B]

You got no shot.

[A]

None. You're done. You go to juvenile hall, you're done. You can have a lot life ain't gonna win a Grammy. Stop telling them you're gonna win Grammys. That's a problem with this goddamn generation that thinks everything they're gonna do is gonna result in an Academy Award. You're gonna be a plumber. You're gonna dig ditches. You're not gonna be a model. You can film yourself all day.

[B]

Just end them. Exterminate them. Since they don't have a shot.

[A]

You know what? Your plan isn't bad. I hadn't thought of that. But I like Brady's. Kill all the juvie kids and start over. Grammys. See kids, it's pot. Possible outliers at 0.0001%. Don't. Now if juvenile halls across the nation were littered with Grammys, you'd be like, we're all gonna win a Grammy. No you're not.

[B]

More kids would go to juvie.

[A]

It's the same thing of that goddamn shot of getting exactly teen mom on MTV. It turned into like a 25 year series. It encouraged Girls to have pregnancy when they were 15 to try to get on TV. TV, it was the opposite. You tell dumb people dumb things. They do dumber stuff. Jelly Roll won a Grammy. What's stopping you? I don't know. A horrible drug addict problem, and I like to steal. Well, that's not gonna win a Grammy. You're not gonna win a Grammy at all. Hey, juvenile hall, if you're listening, prediction, zero Grammys. Not a one of you is gonna win a grand. And then you know what I would do, because that's the guy they need to hear from, is have one of those kids in the back. Well, show him. I'm gonna go win me a Grammy. And then they might. But if you put a Grammy up there, they think, oh, okay, that's my path. Idiots. Spend the rest of your life.

[B]

Take it back. It wasn't a cool thing.

[A]

Terribly uncool thing. Jelly Roll was cool, but it's rubbing it in their face. I'm the best juvie hall graduate is basically what he did.

[B]

Top that.

[A]

Yeah, top that, bitches. You know that. You know what all you in juvenile hall need to do when you get out? Make up with your dad. Find your dad. Make up with him and start a normal life. And then go do your. Then to go do your menial tasks. It's like dusting up the corners of freeways and holding the tools for a real guy. Two from the hog. Grammys. No, it off.

[B]

Well, this podcast is gonna.

[A]

There they are.

[B]

Last maybe less than a year. I'm announcing that right now. Brett.

[A]

Our podcast.

[B]

Sorry. You better start finding a job. Skid Row has launched a worldwide search for a new singer.

[A]

Oh, here we go.

[B]

So long, John. Send your audition.

[A]

Gonna go be with Skid Row for.

[B]

A while Here you're gonna tour for a couple of years. Years.

[A]

Yeah. That sounds great. To hang out with. Dave Snake Saber.

[B]

Submissions are open February 5th, which was yesterday, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there's no deadline, but you got to put a tape together and a video and send it to Skid Row.

[A]

Guys just need to hang it up at this point. I agree. How much can they be making? They don't have a singer. No. They haven't had a album since 92. Maybe playing the Rebel Lounge type, you know you're not making any money. No traveling to that. If it's two grand at official Skid.

[B]

Row on Instagram, at Skid Row, on YouTube, at Skid Row official, on TikTok.

[A]

Oh, good luck. By the way, Toledo printed up the stats. Rearrest rates in juvenile hall within two years of leaving the facility. 70 to 80% within two years.

[B]

It's gotten better.

[A]

No, I said total. I didn't even put a. With within a reconviction within 36 months is 41 to 62% of a reconviction. Not just going back, but like. Yeah, the one thing that does help them, if they go through teen court, which is cute. Lower recidivism rates get around 11% if they go through programs. Yeah, you're not, bottom line, you're not winning a Grammy. You're going to go back to jail. Oh, you'll be singing. Usually it'd be bent over while some guy's behind you.

[B]

If they find the right house in Gilbert.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. You're gonna end up. You're gonna end up cleaning Brady's house. Maybe skin rush to go check juvenile hall. Yeah, go to Juvia Hall. There's a bunch of Grammy nominees in there.

[B]

That should be a good music venue.

[A]

Garbage.

[B]

Performing at juvie hall.

[A]

It's just such a dumb thing to do to tell people you can do anything. No, you can't. Most of you in juvenile hall have already. You've already stopped. Well, Johnny Cash said Folsom prison, so yeah, General can do juvenile prison. And played for him. Then he got juvenile. Exactly. Juvenile hall. You're a mess already. I'll get emails where I went to juvenile hall and I'm fine. I know you can live a life. You don't have any Grammys. If you went to juvenile hall and you've got Grammys, send me a picture of you and your Grammys and prove me wrong. Unless you're jelly Roll, it's not a thing. 1. It's like Michael Jordan going, anybody can be me. No, no.

[B]

I don't think he's ever said that.

[A]

If you went to a Jew Jewish school and said, you guys can all be as good at basketball as me, we'd be like, stop it. What are you doing? It's not happening. You go to juvenile hall and say you're all capable. No, you're not. Most of you aren't. That's what you got to tell them. Most of you aren't. Be like me. Be the one. One that isn't. You can all win a Grammy. More than likely you'll be. You'll be hearing this. Oh, come on in. You can clean over here first and then you can get into the bathrooms.

[B]

I don't think it's the point about you can all win a Grammy. I don't think they sell that, but they. The point is that. Look what this guy did. He was in juvie. He's rubbing in something out of himself.

[A]

He's rubbing it in. He's rubbing it in. I don't. I disagree. That's him patting himself on the back.

[B]

Sure. He wants to feel good about it.

[A]

Look at me. And if I can inspire just one stop, then go in there and have, like, a singing contest and give him your Grammy, the winner. That's not a bad idea. Yeah, see, that would be better. At least you can prove they're all losers. If your kids in juvenile hall, it's your fault. By the way, I don't even know. The squares are coming up. We're so late. It's going to be 10:30 by the time we get out here. I'll get through the intros because we'll do some interest. All right. We'll get some intros to get the squares going and maybe give you some prizes. It's 98. There goes your entertainment drink. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] all right, we're ready to close out this glorious Friday, and here is the reason we do it. You Thriller. Thriller's here. He's ready to go with us. And of course, Thriller. Yeah, Doug Hopkins. Just text me. My commercial is on. That's right. If he did that every time one of his commercials ran, that dude would die. He would never breathe. He'd never inhale. Commercial is on. It's time now for the Guadalupe Square sou.

[B]

He doesn't believe they run.

[A]

No, he's. He's convinced that we're just stealing money and hiding it anyway, like his competition. See what I did there? I spun it. It's time for your Guadalupe squares. Here's your host of said squares, the NFL super bowl edition. And also Brady Slavery. It is a Thriller wall. Thriller. Thank you, Chancellor.

[B]

Let's begin the top left square, starting.

[A]

Off a Bernie Sanders. Also. Yes, I'm here as well, and I do not. I do not have anything to do with the super bowl, but earlier this week, we discovered that I have a sex toy that I invented. This is true. It's a true story. Cory, I don't know if you're around for this. No. But Bernie Sanders, the ultimate socialist, the. The libertarian socialist candidate. Democratic socialist. Yeah. Has invented the Orgasmatron. It's an unbelievable. The rivers of ejaculate that I can create in your life. Is unbelievable. Orgasms. Orgasm wherever you want. Look. Frothy, delicious. Everywhere. Even at your current age. Look, Peter north called me the other day and say, how do you do it? What. What kind of volume are you doing? I'm a Super Flocker. That's what they call me up there in Vermont. I'm the Super Flocker of Vermont people. People take me that I'm a Washington, and they say, bernie, all your ideas, they're so socialized. How do we make every. You make everyone have orgasms. That's what we all want. Massive, like 30, 35. Five minute orgasms at once. We just stand there and just shake and hump the air and it shoots out of you like a. Like a crazy. Like the Silly String. That's what it looks like. I'm shooting Silly String all over everyone. Anyway, that's what we're working on in Washington while the whole world goes to hell in a handbasket. But right now, I've come up and you think I'm joking. Google it. Google it, all right? You're gonna see tons of Bernie's Vermont White syrup all over the place. That's exactly. That's disgusting. But that's real regional. We do syrup up there. You tap the wood. You tap my wood, and white syrup flows out all over your wife.

[B]

Tap it and wait.

[A]

All over your wife's pancakes. And then. You know what I'm talking about when I say that those little floppers that she's. My wife's pancakes are very. They're flapjacks. They're very. They're disgusting. All right. Anyway, but most of the time she looks like the little girl at the end of Poltergeist because the Sanders cocoon is. Run for the light, Captain. Aren't you dehydrated? Always. You should see how much Gatorade I have to have next to the bed. It's like somebody. It's like Kenyans are running a marathon through my house. He's not old. He's just really dehydrated. Yeah, I ejaculate. I look like spongebob. I look like spongebob when he leaves the water. I just. That's just a complete dry. That's a good reference. That's his photo base pretty much. But it did. It painted a picture. Now picture Bernie Sanders. Then now picture me ejaculating. And now picture me as a dry sponge that needs to get thrown back into the ocean. That's how much. Yeah, but they say the human bodies were 80% water. Mine's 80% ejaculate. And I get rid of it three times a day. All right, now over to the top, middle square. Morgan Freeman joining us. Hello, sir.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Oh, well, I've been Toledoed. That's how that goes. I'm supposed to have my own music here, and now it makes it all better. Are you ready for Sunday? I'm ready for Sunday. I gotta get somebody to come by and clean the house. Oh, who shall I ask?

[B]

I got a guy for you, Morgan.

[A]

Do you, Brady, do you have a guy for me? Do I have to bid on your guy? Are there other people trying to get his services, or can I just have him come over and watch the game with me?

[B]

It's a flat rate.

[A]

It's a flat rate. All right. Brady Bogan. Who would have ever known they still had plantations in Gilbert? Soaking up the sun and sitting in his backyard while a man of color inside his house cleans, breaks his back. So Brady's house is clean for later that day. That's a big step, Brady.

[B]

Thanks, Morgan.

[A]

And I like to listen to you a bit, little bit ago, where you jumped Back to the 1860s for the fifth time this morning. Every story you had ended up back in slave time.

[B]

The golden years.

[A]

Keep it alive, my friend, to remind.

[B]

You of your glory days.

[A]

I'll bring over some tiki torches later tonight and we'll talk. What? Yes. Oh, my God. Brady Bogan, thanks for joining us. You're a great guest. All right, now over to the top right square. President Trump. How are you, sir? I'm doing great. I don't know what you guys are doing, but I'm doing great. I crap my pants earlier this week, and no one said a thing. Well, at least no one did a thing. I just. Everyone out. I took a. A huge pants right there. Right in my pants. I did it right there. And then I watched Melania and I pooped the front of them, and that was what I did there. You notice? It was all over my thighs. Cory was all over my thighs and such. And then I did a video of me as a lion and the Obamas as monkeys, and nobody did a thing. I'm. I'm made of Teflon. That's how it works around here. I can do whatever I want. You see me, my video is an amazing. I saw highlights of that thing. Fantastic video. Took me forever to get the lion head just right, but it looked good. Same, same tones. And then I said, what will I put Obama's head on? Could it be Pumbaa? And I thought, no, he doesn't look like a Pumbaa. Who does he look like? And then I did the horrible thing and everybody laughed and I'm like, what can you do? That's exactly right. I went to made a Tarzan movie out of it. That's one way to put it. It's really good. I really think. I feel. I feel good about it. I feel really good about it. And now we're going to bomb Iran again. Isn't that great, Brett? We got time for that. We're gonna get rid of some more of them. That's a good thing. We got time for that. They got time for everything. It's all good. Very excited about this whole entire endeavor. Very excited about you, Epstein. About me? Yes, about you. You're a young boy. I like those. Epstein says, so I'm in the files. Don't care as a kid saying I got blown by him. And then I smacked her. Don't care. Doesn't matter. Distracting with the monkey video. Gonna get in trouble for one of them. Might as well be the silly one. Anyway, on with the show. Yeah. All right, then, sir, let's hop on over to the middle left square. Get ready for Sunday. Patrick Mahomes. I missed out on this year's Super Bowl. I'm gonna get out there and do soup bowl coverage. I'm gonna be out of there. Hey, Bray. What's going on? I'm gonna be out there at the super bowl this weekend doing my thing.

[B]

Oh, boy. Go.

[A]

Here we we go. Just normally my team's there, but. Hey, man. Hey, dad. What's going on? Hey. I got in a little trouble again. Yeah, you can't. Dad tends to do that. He's got jail time coming up. How about some of that football money? Yeah, you had some baseball money. Dad, you just flirting with disaster all the time. It's part of my own. I'm traveling down the road and I'm flirting with disaster. I got the pedal to the floor last running faster. That's my dad. That's my dad. He drives too fast, gets caught. DUI and all the time. So we gotta get him out of.

[B]

Money and out of hope.

[A]

Out of money. This is a song about my dad. Molly Hatchet wrote a long time ago. I see. He's always getting arrested for being dumb. I'm gonna take. I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna take the Patriots. And that's why I'm not gonna win this game. I'm gonna be out there, and then Travis Cuss gonna come back and get Taylor Swift wedding this and all that's gonna be fun. Okay, I think that's gonna be good. Who you got in Super Bowl?

[B]

Honestly?

[A]

Incorrect. Okay, think Patriots going to win it. All right then. I know cuz. I'm Patrick. My. What do you about winners man? I saw last year you're not a winner. I'm a winner. You know what the best thing about Larry Fitzgerald going in the hall of Fame is? What? It he's got room for that ring from the hall of Fame cuz none of his fingers had one on it. They have to find one for me. Oh, he was very kind in sacrificing his career for us.

[B]

He would.

[A]

He's like the Jesus of folks. He came down to Arizona and wasted 17 years of his life doing nothing. Catching a bunch of footballs from Max Hall Skelton. John Skelton. Lionheart was a good one. That's how bad it was for Larry. All right, speaking of sports, here at the auction we got center square here Colonel Brady and cleaner Rodney. What's wrong? Here Colonel Brady. Here, colonel Brady. And it's time to clean cono Brett is house. Wait, you're not alone either. You should by yourself. Oh, I got my. I got my man made. We call him Fabrizi E. Mr. Bogan, we was about to go into the kitchen and do some cleaning if that's all right. Okay. Do you need your cleaning supplies? Because I have some zippity do tile cleaner if interest interested. It's the Gilbert Candyland and I also like to go out. I'm gonna watch a movie on the back patio of Rodney my cleaner planes. Oh, which film it's called. It's called Gone with the Windex. I'm proud of that one. That's pretty good for Brady. This. This is my. My pine saw. Yes, Rodney, that is your pine saw.

[B]

Why do you questions have about that?

[A]

The label has been replaced and it says Emancipation Consolation. Is that. Yes. I made it so you would understand. Now free the dirt from my home, please. Oh, we got to do something also.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Rodney. Yes, sir. The refrigerator needs a new box of Arm Mc Hammer. If you wouldn't mind. If you wouldn't mind opening that up. Welcome to 2026 A Race Odyssey. No Brillo pads, Rodney.

[B]

Why?

[A]

No, no, no, no. Don't do that. Hey, Rodney. The oven is filthy from all the.

[B]

Cooking thinking I do.

[A]

So why don't we easy off, easy off, easy off that. Actually, if he's taller than you, have him replace the batteries.

[B]

That's what the head does. Oh, breeze are brand new.

[A]

I don't know where your. Your broom or your. Your pan is. Oh, it's a.

[B]

A black dust pan.

[A]

We call it the black dust.

[B]

Yourself.

[A]

That's enough of this.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

Get back to. All right, we'll give you guys some time here to clean up. No, I got to get that over. Now we got the middle of right square. Is Shannon Sharp getting ready for Sunday? Yep, yep, yep, yep. I'm not super bowl coming this weekend. Yes, it is. It's going to be here on weekend. Sunday going to be. We going to have us a Super bowl party. Ever clean a house that we clean the house, we get it done. I go to Brady's house, clean up Brady's house.

[B]

I kind of snacks Club Shay shake.

[A]

On Club Shay Shay have ready to clean up Club Shay Shay.

[B]

Get it done.

[A]

Yep, yep. We're gonna be out there. Patriots gonna win the Super Bowl.

[B]

What? Oh, no.

[A]

35, 7. What? 35, 7. 35, 7s to the E to the V to the E to the end. Count on that. Mark it down. Skip, Skip. They got any money on this? Money, money on that? Yep. I'm gonna put that on Club Shay Shay today. You listen to it later. You find out exactly how much money Shannon Sharp had on the game. All right? Gonna be a lot of money. Bet to win. Bet to win. Place and show a lot of great on the game. I'm gonna go for Shannon Sharp. Club Shay Shay. Traffic said a sugar cube. Brady, can I borrow that? I borrowed tomorrow that I'm gonna pick.

[B]

The winner in the fourth quarter. Yeah.

[A]

Put two sugar cubes out. Put the Seahawks on one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And the Patriots on the other. And I won't see the logo. I go over, I lick one of the cubes, and that's going to win the Super Bowl. All right? This to the U to the P to the E to the R to the B to the O to the L to the W. I spelled it wrong. Got all the way to the last two letters and mixed them up. I appreciate the confidence, right? But Shay, every day podcast. Listen. All right, now over to list them. Bottom left square. Brady secret square. Give us a hand.

[B]

What's up, fellas? Thanks for having me. My birthday's tomorrow. 38. I'm the 2025 NFL MVP.

[A]

Hey, I didn't know it was your birthday tomorrow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nice job.

[B]

What a weekend.

[A]

Excellent work, man. What a weekend. Okay, now over to House Clean. Got it. That's one of the prizes you get when you got. Yeah, you got one final minute square. Now over to O.J. hey, how you doing? Football season is back. How's everybody? Brett's laughing at everything today. I mean, come on, Brett, grow up a little bit, man. I mean, come on. Your pick for Sunday. My pick for Sunday pain. I will pick. Let's see. I don't know. Who's wife? I don't know. Drake May's probably not married, right? I don't know. Is he married? He's got a wife already. That's dumb. That's going to end badly.

[B]

Married his high school student.

[A]

That's what I know. I would suggest all young people avoid marriage because in my experience, it ends terribly. It's a bloodbath really. Marriage.

[B]

You said young people. So then what is young or older?

[A]

Otherwise just avoid marriage. From my experience, it starts out fine and then the next thing you know, you got to get zero rizz at your house. Cleaning up that patio because it is covered with blood. I would say. I, I don't know. One of these teams going to have to good defenses in front. So some whoever cuts through the defense the deepest I think is the. Probably my pick. I'm going to go. I'm just saying, I'm probably going to go ahead and say, God, if only I'd have met Rodney earlier. I wouldn't have had to have a need for a woman around the house. Rodney cleaned the house. Rodney could have gone with me when we killed Nicole and that guy instead of Cato. Yeah, Cato. Cato didn't go. Cato screwed it up. We were in the McDonald's and then we need a slashing back. I'm looking at, I don't know, I look at the. I think the Seahawks have more of a slashing style and, you know, really get to the head of the snake and just chop it off. Well, do you value offense or defense more? Well, I value. I'm very offensive. Yes, I value offense. A lot of people, people find me offensive. I'll say that there is probably. Oh, I'm going to go ahead and say the Seahawks slashing running game and you know, you just got to step on the throat and I think Seattle will do that. Yeah, you got to pull their heart out through the neck hole. All right, then, our bottom right square here, our Lord and savior Trip Ree.

[B]

How you doing, sir?

[A]

Yeah, I'm doing just fine. How are you today? Oh, yeah. Going out to the Phoenix Open. Anybody looking for an elderly millionaire who's, you know, still got the action down south? I'll be on the 18th, 17th. Brady, don't block the man's at work. Men at work. Put on a hard hat, ladies, because this guy is going to work today. Yeah. Jack Hammer, sir. Oh, yeah. We're gonna get to the base of that family foundation. I'm gonna get right through that asphalt anyway. Bring a friend. Holmberg and I'll walk outside by side. Homer gets the wing, though. He's taking the fat one. Don't block, Brady. Men at work. We come from the land down under. Going down. Ooh, yeah. All right, who's on the phone? What do we have today? Courtney and James. Courtney or you there, Courtney? Courtney. Hey. Hey, there you are. I gotta say hello on the phone. Courtney, you gotta say hello on the phone. Hello. Hi, Courtney. James, are you there? Jesus. James, are you there?

[B]

That's the game, everybody.

[A]

James. Yes. There you are. Jesus. Take it off. Mute dummy. All right. James is there. Courtney's there. James is there. Courtney, go ahead, pick a square. Hurry. Oh, okay. I'll do the breezy E. I'll use. Well, that's not who the main person and the master of the square is.

[B]

Me.

[A]

I'm the master of. Toby. Yes, sir, Mr. Burton. Toby, there's a. Clean the square, please. This is embarrassing. It's so much less clean than chanted Sharp square. And I believe he's dropped his horse dumps in there. Yes, sir, Mr. B. I get these corners cleaned up real nice. What product do you think you're going to use for this particular square? Well, we got a lot of glass in here, so I'm going to go ahead and call it 12 mirrors. A slave. We're going to get it all in here, and we're going to get them all done. And I'm just going to work real hard for you, Mr. Bogan. It's nice having you here, Toby.

[B]

This is nice.

[A]

Do you accept MasterCard? A little plantation humor. It's the Gilbert way. You sure are funny, sir. Thank you.

[B]

Toby, I got a question for you here real quick.

[A]

Sure, go ahead. It is impossible to sneeze in your sleep. True or false? I'm sorry. I was distracted. I see spots on this mirror here. Toby, what's going on? I used a Mr. Clean. Well, it's not Mr. Clean as. As you said it would be. I'm gonna go ahead and ask for that. What was the question again? It is impossible to sneeze in your sleep. True or false? Why is there a junior next to them? Is there a Febreze senior? What does this mean? Fabrizi? E. Come. Come back to me. Impossible to sneeze. In your sleep. I think you'd have to wake up for that. I think you have to wake up. Okay, so you're saying true?

[B]

Yeah, I'll say that's true.

[A]

It's impossible to sneeze in your sleep. Okay, Courtney, do you agree or disagree with true? Oh, well, I don't ever sneeze in my sleep. I'll agree.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Correct. X gets the solid logic.

[B]

Solid logic.

[A]

We got it. Sometimes my penis sneezes in it. No, that's not what it's called. Yes, that's a penis sneeze.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

And sometimes when I do the laundry, I notice that Ronnie sneezes occasionally.

[B]

You want to change your answer?

[A]

That's why I won't do the man laundry. That's gonna change today, Joe. All right, over to James here. Make your choice. James, pick a square. Let me get Patrick Mahomes. Oh, he wants Patrick Mahomes. All righty, James. I found that from 1995. All right. Tobacco. My dad was pitching for the twins before his horrible cocaine problem and driving issues, which persisted over the last 31 years. I like that. Every time I do this, it starts turning more and more into Ralphie.

[B]

Man.

[A]

I can't help it. Anyway, get my song on. There it is. All right, ask me a question there. Alrighty. The bigger the brain an animal has, the shorter its yawn will be. True or false? Bigger brain, animal has shorter on. That's just weird. Why would that be a thing? I don't. I don't think so. By the way, you can check out my new show on Netflix. It's back. Me, Miss Piggy, Fozzie. We're back. Muppet shows ready to go. I found it. I heard it. Hilarious.

[B]

You and Seth Rogen are tight.

[A]

Yeah, he's my guy. Rainbow connection. Patrick and Travis, do you play? I can play banjo. Just learn it real quick. No big deal. I'm Kansas City. Everybody plays a banjo there trying to woo their sisters. Would Kelsey work as Fozzie or no? You know what's funny? He hurt his leg, and he walks worse than you now.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[A]

I'm gonna go ahead and say that's probably false. I don't think yawn matters how big your brain. All right, so you're saying false there. Now, James, do you agree or disagree with false? James gonna punch you in the nose. Agrees. Okay, there you go. You got it correct. Then the circle gets that square. Killing me, James. All right, real quick here. Back to Courtney. Make your choice for the win. Courtney, pick up. It Square. Okay, Hower. Brady. Brady. Secret. Oh, for the win. The secret. Square for the win. Will she get it?

[B]

Brady, who did your man tell you it was? You got a guess for oh, you.

[A]

Got to tell her.

[B]

I'm starting quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams.

[A]

It's Matthew Stanford. He's right. Matthew Stanford's close enough. Hey, that's pretty good stuff. Nice job. Out of Go. We gotta go. Everybody wins a prize. God damn it. Enough of that crazy stupidity. I wanted to hear more from Bernie. Oh, you can hear more from Bernie. You can feel more from Bernie. Feel the burn. They say loud. He's not quiet. Feel the burn. Oh, because it is going to burn. I am riddled with STDs. One for each state. I've got 50 STDs plus Puerto Rico. Oh, that's for Bad Bunny. That's all of them. Bad Bunny's gonna ruin the super bowl, by the way. Get ruin it. Super bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny.

[B]

You're not watching.

[A]

I won't watch it. I speak English. I don't care for watching, Bob Richie. I don't care for all that bells and whistles. Boo bop, bebop, hip hop, Mexicano. I want to deport him. But he's from America. Technically, dance. Puerto Rico is dirty. America is what I call Puerto Rico. Down there in the islands no one likes. You land in Puerto Rico, then you go to a pretty island. Well, you know what a good island looks like, right, sir? I do. Epstein. Gorgeous. Thank you for the setup, but he was right, Barry. It's a yacht. Young island. Yeah, one of the newer islands in the Atlantic. Average age of what, 12? I think so. Something like that. Mezioic. I don't know how they do it, but the age of the island is very young. It's a young island. Lots of lava. Lava formed the island, made a young island. I miss that island, but it's better than Puerto Rico, which is just floating garbage. I can get away with everything now. It's amazing. I'm going to go. I'm going to go do more Jungle Book videos with the Obamas. I'm terrible human being. All right, let's get out of here. They both get prizes. Sunday, we'll be at Copper Blues for our super bowl viewing party with. I can't tell you how much awesome stuff. Prestige Billiards Arcade system. An entire arcade system from Prestige billiards. That's yours. $150 gift card from Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns. Cap and a snowboard from Action Ride Shop. New mattress From Boring Mattress $300 Carpet Cleaning From Zero Rest 100 Gift Basket From Raise your and Canes $200 Gift Card to Crazy Girls Cabaret. Thousands of dollars in gift cards to be given out. And all of the proceeds that you guys drop off will be for the Arizona Humane Society. Thank you to everyone who emailed this morning. Playing hurt this morning with the loss of my boy Frankie. Frankie, love ya. And for everybody else who's ever gone through the whole pain of losing a pet, you know, you need stuff like this. So thank you, boys, for putting me through this morning as well. I think Rodney, too. And Rodney. Yeah. You know what? Who really was the star of the show today was Rodney.

[B]

He's a good man.

[A]

He is a good man. He's be at Brady's house next Thursday. You don't usually say man. He's good. Three fifths of a man is what Brady always usually says.

[B]

Good man. Most of the time.

[A]

Good man. It just gets funnier all the time. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a fantabulous Friday. We'll see you on Monday right here in the morning Sickness by Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect 98.