← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
02-06-26 - Guad Squares - Bernie Sanders - Morgan Freeman - Trump - Patrick Mahomes - Colonel Brady And Cleaner Rodney - Shannon Sharpe - OJ
00:24:41
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You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. I'm here on the job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor. Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most. Yep, they sure are. We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs, all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line. Oh, I shouldn't have looked down. It's all right. We're so far up here. Look at me. Take a deep breath. I'm good. So good. Get a commercial auto insurance quote today@geico.com and see how much you could save. It feels good. To Geico. Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com all right, we're ready to close out this glorious Friday. And here is the reason we do it. You Thriller Thrillers here. He's ready to go with us. And of course, Thriller. Yeah, Doug Hopkins. Just text me. My commercial is on. That's right. If he did that every time one of his commercials ran, that dude would die. He would never breathe. He'd never inhale. The commercial is on. It's time now for the Guadalupe. He doesn't believe they run. No, he's convinced that we're just stealing money and hiding it anyway, like his competition. See what I did there? I spun it. It's time for your Guadalupe squares. Here's your host of said squares, the NFL super bowl edition. And also, Brady Slavery. It is a Thriller wall. Thriller. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin the Toddlev Square, starting off with Bernie Sanders also. Yes, I'm here as well, and I do not. I do not have anything to do with the super bowl, but earlier this week, we discovered that I have a sex toy that I invented. This is true. It's a true story. Cory, I don't know if you're around for this. No. But Bernie Sanders, the ultimate socialist, the. The socialist candidate, democratic socialist, has invented the orgasmatron. It's an unbelievable. The rivers of ejaculate that I can create in your life is unbelievable. Orgasms. Orgasms wherever you want. Look. Frothy, delicious. Everywhere. Even at your current age. Look, Peter north called me the other day and said, how do you do it? What kind of volume are you doing? I'm a super Flocker. That's what they call me up there in Vermont. I'm the super Flocker of Vermont people take me, I'm a Washington. And they say, bernie, all your ideas, they're so socialized. How do we make every. You know, you make everyone have orgasms. That's what we all want. Massive, like 30, 30, 35 minute orgasms at once. We just stand there and just shake and hump the air, and it just shoots out of you like a crazy. Like the Silly String. That's what it looks like. I'm shooting Silly String all over everyone. Anyway, that's what we're working on in Washington while the whole world goes to hell in a handbasket. But right now, I've come up and you think I'm joking. Google it. Google it, all right? You're gonna see tons of Bernie's Vermont White syrup all over the place. That's exactly. That's. That's disgusting. But that's regional. We do syrup up there. You tap the wood. You tap my wood, and white syrup flows out all over your wife. Tap it and wait. All over your wife's pancakes. And you know what I'm talking about when I say that those little floppers that she's my wife's pancakes are very. They're flapjacks. They're very. They're disgusting. All right? Anyway, but most of the time, she looks like the little girl at the end of Poltergeist because the Sanders cocoon is run for the light. Carol Ann, aren't you dehydrated? Always. You should see how much Gatorade I have to have next to the bed. It's like somebody. It's like Kenyans are running a marathon through my house. He's not old, he's just really dehydrated. Yeah, I ejaculate. I look like SpongeBob. I look like SpongeBob. When he leaves the water. I just. That's just a complete dry. That's a good reference. It's his photo base pretty much, but it did. It painted a picture. Now picture Bernie Sanders. Then now picture me ejaculating. And now picture me as a dry sponge that needs to get thrown back into the ocean. That's how much. Yeah, but they say the human bodies were 80% water. Mine's 80% ejaculate, and I get rid of it three times a day. All right, now over to the top, middle square. Morgan Freeman joining us. Hello, sir. Sorry. Oh, well, I've been Toledoed. That's how that goes. I'm supposed to have my own music here, and now it makes it all better. Are you ready for Sunday? I'm Ready for Sunday? I gotta get somebody to come by and clean the house. Oh, who shall I guess? I got a guy for you, Morgan. Do you, Brady? Do you have a guy for me? Do I have to bid on your guy? Are there other people trying to get his services or can I just have him come over and watch the game with me? It's a flat rate. It's a flat rate. All right. Brady Bogan, who would have ever known? They starred at plantations in Gilbert, soaking up the sun and sitting in his backyard while a man of color inside his house cleans, breaks his back. So Brady's house is clean for later that day. That's a big step, Brady. Thanks, Morgan. And I liked, I listened to you a little bit ago where you jumped Back to the 1860s for the fifth time this morning. Every story you had ended up back in slave time. The golden years. Keep it alive, my friend, to remind you of your glory days. I'll bring over some tiki torches later tonight and we'll talk. What? Yes. Oh, my God. Brady Bogan, thanks for joining us. All right, now over to the top right square. President Trump, how are you, sir? I'm doing great. I don't know what you guys are doing, but I'm doing great. I crap my pants earlier this week and no one said a thing. Well, at least no one did a thing. I just everyone out. I took a huge pants right there, right in my pants. I did it right there and then I watched Melania and I pooped the front of them. And that was what I did there. You know, it was all over my thighs. Corey was all over my thighs and such. And then I did a video of me as a lion and the Obama's as monkeys and nobody did a thing. I'm. I made of Teflon. That's how it works around here. I can do whatever I want. You see, my video is an amazing. I saw highlights of that thing. Fantastic video. Took me forever to get the lion head just right. But it looked good. Same same tones. And then I said, what will I put Obama's head on? Could it be Pumbaa? And I thought, no, he doesn't look like a Pumbaa. Who does he look like? And then I did the horrible thing and everybody laughed and I'm like, what can you do? Lion King? The Tarzan. That's exactly right. I went to made a Tarzan movie out of it. That's one way to put it. It's really good. I really think. I feel good about it. I feel really good about it. And now we're gonna bomb Iran again. Isn't that great, Brett? We got time for that. We're gonna get rid of some more of them. That's a good thing. We got time for that. They got time for everything. It's all good. Very excited about this whole ent. Excited about you, Epstein. About me? Yes, about you. You're a young boy. I like those. Epstein says so I'm in the files. Don't care as a kid saying I got blown by him and then I smacked her. Don't care. Doesn't matter. Distracting with the monkey video. Gonna get in trouble for one of them. Might as well be the silly one. Anyway, on with the show. Yeah. All right then, sir, let's hop on over to the middle of square. Getting ready for Sunday. Patrick Mahomes. I missed out on this year's Super Bowl. I'm gonna get out there and do soup up coverage. I'm gonna be out of there. Hey, Bray, what's going on? I'm gonna be out there at the super bowl this weekend doing my thing. Oh, boy. Here we go. Normally my team's there, but. Hey, man. Hey, dad. What's going on? Hey, I got in a little trouble again. Yeah, you can't give me. Dad tends to do that. He's got jail time coming up. How about some of that football money? Yeah, you had some baseball money, dad, you just flirting with disaster all the time. It's part of my own. I'm traveling down the road and I'm flirting with disaster. I got the pedal to the floor. Life's running f. That's my dad. That's my dad. He drives too fast, gets caught, DUI and all the time. So we got to get him out of money and out of hope. Out of money. This is a song about my dad. Molly Hatchet wrote a long time ago. I see he's always getting arrested for being dumb. I'm gonna take. I'm. I think I'm gonna take the Patriots. And that's why I'm on. What? They're gonna win this game. I'm gonna be out there, and then Travis Cast gonna come back and get Taylor Swift wedding this thing all. That's gonna be fun. Okay, I think that's gonna be good. Who you got in Super Bowl? Honestly? Incorrect. Okay, Think Patriots gonna win it. All right, then. I know. Cause I'm Patrick Mahomes. What do you know about winners, man? I saw last year. You're not a winner. I'm a winner. You know what the best thing about Larry Fitzgerald going in the hall of Fame is what he's got room for that ring from the hall of Fame because none of his fingers had one on it. They have to find one for me. Oh, he was very kind in sacrificing his career for us. He was. He's like the Jesus of football. He came down to Arizona and wasted 17 years of his life doing nothing. Catching a bunch of footballs from Max Hall. Skelton. John Skelton. Lionheart was a good one. That's how bad it was for Larry. All right, speaking of sports, here at the auction, we got center square here, Colonel Brady and cleaner Rodney. What's up? Here's Colonel Brady here, Colonel Brady. And it's time to clean Colonel Brady's house. Wait, you're not alone either. You're just by yourself. Oh, I got my. I got my man made. We call him food breezy e. Mr. Bogan, we was about to go into the kitchen and do some cleaning, if that's all right. Okay. Do you need your cleaning supplies? Cuz I have some Zippity do tile cleaner if you're interested. It's the Gilbert Candy Land. And I also like to go out. I'm gonna watch a movie on the back patio while Rodney, my cleaner plans. Oh, which film? It's called. It's called Gun with the Winde. I'm proud of that one. That's pretty good for Brady. This. This is my. My pine saw. Yes, Rodney, that is your pine saw. Why do you have questions about that? The label has been replaced and it says Emancipation Consolation. Is that. Yes. I made it so you would understand. Now free the dirt from my home, please. Oh, we got to do something also. Sorry, Rodney. Yes, sir. The refrigerator needs a new A box of Armin MC Hammer, if you wouldn't mind. If you wouldn't mind opening that up. Oh, man. Welcome to 2026 A Race Odyssey. No Brillo pads, Rodney. Why? No, no, no, no, don't do that. Hey, Rodney, the oven is filthy from all the cooking I do, so why don't we Easy off, easy off, easy off that oven. Actually, if he's taller than you, have him replace the batteries. That's what the head does. Oh, Brady's are brand new. I don't know where your broom or your pan is. Oh, it's a black dust pan. We call it the Black Dust Panther. That's enough of this. Are you sure? I'll get back to clean. All right, we'll give you guys some timer to clean up. No, I gotta get that over now we got the middle of right square. Shannon Sharp getting ready for Sunday. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I'm not super bowl coming this weekend. Yes, it is. It's gonna be here on weekend Sunday going. We gonna have us a Super bowl party. Ever clean a house? We clean the house. We get it done. I go to Brady's house, clean up Brady's house. What kind of snacks? Club Shay Shay. Go on Club Shay Shay. Have Brady clean up Club Shay Shay. Skip, get it done. Yep, yep. I'm gonna be out there. Patriots gonna win the super bowl. What? Oh, no. 35, 7. What? 35, 7. 35, 7. S to the E to the V to the E to the N. Count on that. Mark it down. Skip, Skip. Ain't got any money on this. Money, money on that. Yep. I'm gonna put that on Club Shay Shay today. You listen to it later. You find out exactly how much money Shannon Sharp had on the game. All right? It's gonna be a lot of money. Bet to win. Bet to win, place and show. Oh, a lot of great on the game. I will go for Shannon Sharp. Club Shay Shay. Traffic said the sugar cube. Brady. Could I borrow that? I borrow that. I'm gonna pick the winner of the fourth quarter. Yeah. Put two sugar cubes out. Put the Seahawks on one. Okay. And the Patriots on the other. And I won't see the logo. I go over, I lick one of the cubes, and that's going to win the Super Bowl. All right, here's to the U to the P to the E to the R to the B to the O to the L to the W. I spelled it wrong. One final football game, and it's the biggest on the calendar. But you've still got time to get in on the action with Underdog. It's dictator from the morning sickness. And playing on Underdog is so easy. Go to the app, pick players to go higher or lower on their stats. Get those picks right, and you could win 5,000 times your money. So one last game with my team and I'm still riding Sam Darnold, Cooper cup and JSN to all go higher on their stats. New promos drop daily. So download the Underdog app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries. When you play your first $5, Underdog Make Picks win. Money must be 18 +. 19 in Alabama and Nebraska. 19 in Colorado for some games, 21 in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdog fantasy.com web/play and get underscoredfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org in New York, call 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY to 467-369. Homeburg's morning sickness got all the way to the last two letters and mixed them up. I appreciate the confidence. Right. Club Shay shake every day podcast. Listen. All right, now listen over to lift them bottom left square. Brady secret square. Give us a here. What's up, fellas? Thanks for having me. My birthday's tomorrow. Be 38. I'm the 2025 NFL MVP. Hey, I didn't know it was your birthday tomorrow. Yeah. Nice job. What a weekend. Excellent work, man. What a weekend. Okay, now over to house clean. That's one of the prizes you get when you got a cleaner. Yeah, you got one knock final minute square. Now over to O.J. hey, how you doing? Football season is back. How's everybody? 1. Brett's laughing at everything today. Come on, Brett, grow up a little bit, man. What's your pick for Sunday? My pick for Sunday pain. I will pick. Let's see. I don't know. Whose wife? I don't know. Drake. Man's probably not married, right? Yeah. Is he married? He's got a wife already. That's dumb. That's gonna end badly. Married his high school. That's what I know. I would suggest all young people avoid marriage because in my experience it ends terribly. It's a bloodbath, really. Marriage. I said young people. So then what? Young or older. Otherwise just avoid marriage. From my experience, it starts out fine and then the next thing you know you gotta get zero res at your house. Cleaning up that patio because it is covered with blood. I would say, I don't know. One of these teams gonna have to good defenses in front. So some whoever cuts through the defense the deepest I think is the probably my pick. I'm gonna go. I'm just saying. I'm probably gonna go ahead and say. God, if only I'd have met Rodney earlier. I wouldn't have had to have a need for a woman around the house. Rodney cleaned the house. Rodney could have gone with me when we killed Nicole and that guy instead of Cato. Yeah, Cato. Cato didn't go. Kato screwed it up. We went to McDonald's. And then we need a slashing Back. I'm looking at. I don't know, I look at the. I think the Seahawks have more of a slashing style and, you know, really get to the head of the snake. Just chop it off. Well, do you value offense or defense more? Well, I value. I'm very offensive. Yes. I value offense. A lot of people find me offensive. I'll say that there is probably. Oh, I'm gonna go ahead and say the Seahawks slashing running game and, you know, you just gotta step on the throat, and I think Seattle will do that. Yeah, you gotta pull their heart out through the neck hole. All right, then, our bottom right square here, our Lord and Savior, Trip Reed. How you doing, sir? Yeah, I'm doing just fine. How are you today? Oh, yeah. Going out to the Phoenix Open. Anybody looking for an elderly millionaire who's, you know, still got the action down south? I'll be on the 18th on the 17th. Brady, don't block. The man's at work. Men at work. Put on a hard hat, ladies, because this guy is going to work today. Yeah, a lot of jackhammering, sir. Oh, yeah, we're gonna get to the base of that foundation. I'm gonna get right through that asphalt anyway. Bring a friend Homeburger and I'll walk outside by side. Homeburg gets the wing, though. He's taking the fat one. Don't block, Brady. Men at work. We come from the land down under. Going down. Oh, yeah. All right, who's on the phone? What do we got today? Courtney and James. Courtney, are you there? Courtney. Courtney. Hey. Hey, there you are. I gotta say hello on the phone. Courtney, you gotta say hello on the phone. Hello. Hi, Courtney. James, are you there? Jesus. James, are you there? That's the game, everybody. James. Yes. There you are. Jesus. Take it off. Mute, dummy. All right. James is there. Courtney's there. James is there. Courtney, go ahead, pick a square. Hurry. Okay, I'll do the breezy E. All you. Well, that's not who. The main person and the master of the square is me. I'm the master of Toby. Yes, sir, Mr. Burden. Toby, there's a. Clean the square, please. This is embarrassing. It's so much less clean than chanted sharp square. And I believe he's dropped his horse dumps in there. Yes, sir, Mr. Ben, I get these corners cleaned up real nice. What product do you think you're gonna use for this particular square? Well, we got a lot of glass in here, so I'm gonna go ahead and call it 12 mirrors a slave. We're gonna get it all in here. And we're gonna get them all done. And I'm just gonna work real hard for you, Mr. Bogut. It's nice having you here, Toby. This is nice. Do you accept MasterCard? A little plantation humor. It's the Gilbert way. You sure are funny, sir. Thank you. Toby, I got a question for you here real quick. Sure, go ahead. It is impossible to sneeze in your sleep. True or false? I'm sorry, I was distracted. I see spots on this mirror here. Toby, what's going on? I used the Mr. Clean. Well, it's not Mr. Clean as. As you said it would be. I'm gonna go ahead and ask for that. What was the question again? It is impossible to sneeze in your sleep. True or false? Why is there a Junior next to the. Is there a Febreze Senior? What does this mean? Febreze E. Come back to me. Impossible to sneeze in your sleep. I think you'd have to wake up for that. I think you have to wake up. Okay, so you're saying true? Yeah, I'll say that, sure. It's impossible to sneeze in your sleep. Okay. Courtney, do you agree or disagree with true? Oh, well, I don't ever sneeze in my sleep. I'll agree. Okay. Correct. X gets the solid logic. Solid logic. We got it. Sometimes my penis sneezes in its sleep. No, that's not what it's called. Yes, that's a penis sneeze. No, no. And sometimes when I do the laundry, I notice that Ronnie sneezes occasionally. You want to change your answer? That's why I won't do the anthology. That's gonna change today, Joe. All right, over to James here. Make your choice. James, pick a square. Let me get Patrick Mahomes. Oh, he wants Patrick Mahomes. All righty. James Got phone there from. Sorry. It's back when my dad was pitching for the twins before his horrible cocaine problem and driving issues, which persisted over the last 31 years. I like that. Every time I do this, it starts turning more and more in Ralphie Mane. I can't help. Anyway. Get my thong on. There it is. All right, ask me a question there. Alrighty. The bigger the brain an animal has, the shorter its yawn will be. True or false? Bigger brain. Animal has started on. That's just weird. Why would that be a thing? I. I don't think so. By the way, you can check out my new show on Netflix. It's back. Me, Miss Piggy, Fozzie. We're back. Muppet Shows ready to go forward to that new episode. It was very good. I found it. I heard it's hilarious. You and Seth Rogen are tight. Yeah, he's my guy. Rainbow connection. Patrick and Travis, do you play banjo? I can play banjo. Just learn it real quick. No big deal. I'm Kansas City. Everybody plays banjo there, trying to woo their sisters. Would Kelsey work as Fozzie or. No. You know what's funny? He hurt his leg and he walks worse than you now. Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm gonna go ahead and say that's probably false. I don't think y matters how big your brain is. All right, so you're saying false. And now, James, do you agree or disagree with false? Jake, I'm gonna punch you in the nose. Okay, there you go. You got it. Correct. Then the circle gets that square. Killing me, Jake. All right, real quick here. Back to Courtney. Make your choice for the win. Courtney, pick a square. Okay, how about Hauser? Brady, secret square. Brady, secret square. Oh, for the win. The secret square for the win. Will she get it? Brady, who did your man tell you it was? You got a guess for? Oh, you got to tell her. I'm starting quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams. It's Matthew Stanford. He's right. Matthew Stanford's close enough. Hey, that's pretty good stuff. Nice job. Gotta go. We gotta go. Everybody wins a prize. God damn it. Enough of that crazy stupidity. I wanted to hear more from Bernie. Oh, you can hear more from Bernie. You can feel more from Bernie. Feel the burn. They say gonna be loud. He's not quiet. Feel the burn. Oh, because it is going to burn. I'm riddled with STDs, one for each state. I've got 50 STDs, plus Puerto Rico. Oh, that's for Bad Bunny. That's all of them. Bad Bunny's gonna ruin the super bowl, by the way. Gonna ruin it. Super bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny. You're not watching. I won't watch it. I speak English. I don't care for watching, Bob Richie. I don't care for all that bells and whistles. Boo bop, bebop, hip hop, mexicano. I want to deport him from America. Technically, I like to dance. Puerto Rico is dirty. America is what I call Puerto Rico. Down there in the islands, no one likes. You land in Puerto Rico, then you go to a pretty island. Well, you know what a good island looks like, right, sir? I do. Epstein, gorgeous. Thank you for the setup, but he was right. Very. It's a young island. Young island, one of the newer islands in the Atlantic. Average age of what, 12? I think so. Something like that. Mezioic. I don't know how they do it, but the age of the island is very young. It's a young island. Lots of lava. Lava formed the island, made a young island. I missed that island. But it's better than Puerto Rico, which is just floating garbage. I can get away with everything now. It's amazing. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go do more Jungle Book videos with the Obama terrible human being. All right, let's get out of here. They both get prizes. Sunday we'll be at Copper Blues for our super bowl viewing party with I can't tell you how much awesome stuff. Prestige Billiards arcade system. An entire arcade system from Prestige billiards. That's yours. $150 gift card from Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns. Cap and a snowboard from Action Ride Shop. New mattress from Boring Mattress. $300 carpet cleaning from Zero Rest. 100 gift basket from Raising Canes. 200 gift card to Crazy Girls Cabaret. Thousands of dollars in gift cards to be given out. And all of the proceeds that you guys drop off will be for the Arizona Humane Society. Thank you to everyone who emailed this morning. Playing hurt this morning with Lost. My boy Frankie. Frankie, love you. And for everybody else who's ever gone through the whole pain of losing a pet, you know, you need stuff like this. So thank you boys for putting me through this morning as well. I thank Rodney, too. And Rodney, Yeah, you know what? Who really was the star of the show today was Rodney. He's a good man. He is a good man. He's be at Brady's house next Thursday. He's good. Three fifths of a man. Man is what Brady always usually says. Good man, good man. It just gets funnier all the time. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a fantabulous Friday. We'll see you on Monday right here in the morning sickness. Bye. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said, fully erected.