02-06-26 - Longtime Listener Dori Emails Calling Us Kumquats For Our Lack Of Manly Skills - While Talking About Traditional Gender Roles Brady Reveals He Has A Black Male Housecleaner Named Rodney And He Watches Him Clean

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness — February 6, 2026

Episode Theme & Overview

In this episode, the HMS crew — John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo — riff on traditional gender roles, "manly skills," and listener expectations after receiving a fiery email from longtime listener Dori. Things escalate into a hilarious, sometimes cringe-inducing discussion about what tasks men and women do around the house, culminating in Brady’s jaw-dropping admission that he has a black male house cleaner named Rodney—and, sometimes, Brady just sits and watches him clean. The episode is full of the crew’s signature sarcasm, self-deprecation, and edgy banter as they navigate the tricky (and funny) intersections of gender, race, and laziness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Email from Dori: Calling Out the "Kumquats"

• [04:28] John introduces an email from Dori Yoshi, who calls the hosts "kumquats" for their lack of manly skills after a past discussion about struggling to change windshield wipers.
• Dori boasts she's "more of a man than any of you," describing how she replaced her own wipers and attached a photo as proof of her womanly competence.
  • Quote: “Listening to three grown men defeated by windshield wipers made me curious… I'm proud that I'm more of a man than any of you.” — Dori’s Email, read by John (05:23)
• The crew breaks down her insults, pokes fun at her "fiery ginger" status, and jokes about the “kumquat” label.

2. What Makes a Man? Car Repairs and Traditional Roles

• [08:07] Brady shares his own recent “manly” victory: changing his wife Ronnie’s flat tire in a parking lot, with daughter Kirby acting as pit crew.
  • Quote: “You taught your daughter how to change a tire.” — John (08:47)
• Discussion about the satisfaction of fulfilling traditional male roles, and the expectation of reward (gratitude, a home-cooked meal, or the more suggestive “mouth hugs”).
• [09:29] John draws a line: "If a woman calls you and says, 'play the traditional role and get your ass out here,' I'm a woman, I'm not changing this tire — then you should expect her to play traditional roles that night."
  • Quote: “If I have to do caveman roles, you have to do cave girl roles. Come home, clean this goddamn house, and cook me a meal.” — John (09:34)
• The hosts acknowledge the double standard: expectations for men to be handy, but pushback when suggesting women take on traditional female roles.

3. Modern Gender Dynamics: Why Is Household Work Still Gendered?

• [14:44] John outlines what men want: “desire, manifestation of desire, and support.” The group jokes about how these often get lost in today’s egalitarian approach, and how asking for traditional female roles still gets labeled “misogynist.”
  • Quote: “Traditional male roles are still celebrated, but when you try to say traditional female roles, you’re just automatically a misogynist jerk.” — John (10:48)
• Bret and Brady reminisce about old sitcoms and talk shows that glorified being independent of men, and they agree it sometimes led to generational confusion around what men contribute.
• [17:11] John references internet personalities and podcasts (West Scott, Whatever Podcast) making the case for traditional roles and the backlash they receive: “The dude’s kind of saying what I’ve been saying for years — traditional roles aren’t so bad. Why do you guys fight so hard?”

4. The House Cleaner Revelation: Brady’s Black Male Maid, Rodney

• [20:13] The conversation swerves as Brady reveals: “Our situation right now? We have a male maid.” Cue laughter when he adds, “And he’s black…” Rodney drives a red Mercedes and comes highly recommended.
  • Quote: “Here I am, all the stuff that we’re talking about… and he’s like, ‘You want me to come over?’…Ronnie, you got Usher taking care of stuff over at your house!” — Brady & John (20:24–20:48)
• The group dives into the weirdness (“the optics are not good”) and the unavoidable racial/gender discomfort of a white family having a black man clean their house, especially while they relax.
  • Quote: “I need my traditional house cleaners to be Mexican women. I can’t… There’s too much history with the US of A to have Rodney in here.” — John (22:14)

A Parade of Bit Jokes and Role Play

• [22:13–30:59] The team launches into heavy improv, feigning conversations with Rodney, making “Gone with the Wind” and “Roots” references, and running wild with southern plantation-style caricatures (“You make him call you Colonel?”).
• They question Brady’s comfort watching movies while Rodney scrubs the house.
  • Quote: “How can you sit at home and have that happen?...Have a black guy clean your house while you just sit there and do nothing.” — John (22:52)
• The group riffs on awkward hypotheticals: Are neighbors suspicious? Is Rodney really a cleaner or is there something else going on?
  • Quote: “Seems funny the house is exactly as it was two hours ago when Rodney first got here — and Ronnie’s always asleep.” — John (30:18)

5. The Guilt and Awkwardness of Having Help at Home

• [32:07] Brady admits to feeling guilty or awkward about being home during cleaning (“You want to stay around because you don’t know. You want to see… how they do.”)
• The hosts discuss strategies: pretend to be busy, leave the house, or at least stay out of sight.
  • Quote: “You gotta play pretend super-biz — just go to the park and sit with the dog.” — John (25:28)
• John points out the social double standard: a black woman or Mexican woman cleaning? No one would blink. A black man? Suddenly, everyone’s uncomfortable.
  • Quote: “If it was a black woman, no one would bat an eye. It’s just societal norms, and that isn’t one of them.” — John (35:34)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Thanks for getting me to try something new. I’m proud that I’m more of a man than any of you… I’ve attached a photo so no one assumes I’m too unfortunate looking.”
  — Dori’s Email, read by John (05:23)
• “If I have to do caveman roles, you have to do cave girl roles. Come home, clean this goddamn house, and cook me a meal.”
  — John (09:34)
• “When a woman says, ‘Man do man stuff’ and a man says, ‘Woman do woman stuff,’ the man is a jerk. And we blow up. When a woman asks us to be, like, well, be a man for me. You got it… That should have resulted in a glorious toothless mouth hug at the end. You saved the day. You’re my hero.”
  — John (14:01–15:43)
• “Try to hire a male maid and watch your wife or girlfriend go, ‘What’s this? He’s not going to do a good job.’ They don’t like that.”
  — John (19:44)
• “Here I am… and he’s black. Rodney’s fantastic. But… you just feel like… You’d rather have a woman because it’s an insult in your manhood that he’s in there cleaning your house.”— Brady & John (20:13–21:04)
• “How can you sit at home and have that happen? Have a black guy clean your house while you just sit there and do nothing?”
  — John (22:52)
• “Rodney, we’re missing a tennis bracelet!”
  — Dick (21:43)
• “This is Brady. Lives in Gilbert, Arizona. Has a black male housemaid who drives a stolen car. These optics are not good, Brady.”
  — John (28:25)
• “If it was a black woman, no one would bat an eye. Yep. It’s just societal norms, and that isn’t one of them.”
  — John (35:34)
• “On a scale of 1 to 10, what does he look like? Are we talking Laurence Fishburne or Michael B. Jordan?”
  — John (30:30)
• “Every time he comes out of the car, it’s slow motion… We’re going to Brady’s next Thursday.”
  — John (42:49)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 04:28 — Introduction and reading of Dori’s email
• 08:07 — Brady’s tire-changing adventure and discussion on traditional male/female roles
• 14:44 — Manifestation of desire/support as male wants
• 17:11 — Social backlash to traditional gender roles
• 20:13 — Brady reveals the existence of Rodney, the black male house cleaner
• 22:13–30:59 — Rodney gets a speaking role: improvisations, jokes about optics and scenarios
• 32:07 — Brady discusses his guilt about being home while the cleaner works
• 35:34 — The societal double standard of race/gender and housework
• 41:34–44:54 — Wrapping up, more Rodney banter, self-deprecation about laziness

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Tone and Style

The conversation is irreverent, self-deprecating, and relentlessly sarcastic. The hosts employ role-play, edgy jokes, and gleeful exaggeration—pushing limits, especially with racially and sexually charged comedy. It’s clear the humor is part of their commentary on awkward modern gender (and, here, racial) dynamics in household tasks.

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Summary

This episode delivers on what HMS listeners expect: boisterous, no-holds-barred comedy laced with sharp social observations. What starts as a lighthearted complaint about “manly skills” shifts to a debate about who does what around the house — and why those lines are still so loaded. Brady’s confession about Rodney, his black male house cleaner, adds a layer of contemporary awkwardness, and the group runs (hilariously) wild with just how strange, funny, and revealing those 2026 domestic optics can get.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I got a little note from Shane O', Grady, the head cheese over at Life Change Alone. He said, this week three wonderful listeners all made the move to Life Changer loan and each of them will be paying off their homes in under four years. That's right. And that's normal too. So many people try to refinance. Go. Go to lifechangerloan.com and see if it's right for you. Maybe you like paying debt off for 30 years and spending $200,000 extra in interest. I don't. I know a better way. And it's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Walker told me I have AIDS. That's right, son. It's the. There you go. Floating through this Friday. Got the the weight of a dead dog on my shoulders and I gotta go be fun at the Phoenix Open later today. I need distractions. That's a good thing whenever you lose a pet or have go through a thing. Distractions are good. Keep me busy. A lot of nice emails from you guys and I appreciate that. The podcast cooking right along here and we couldn't be happier for you guys to be part of it. Thanks for making the switch with us. Remember when we were on radio and now we moved over to this podcast thing and it's working out better. I've seen a lot of avenues that we can go down now that were a podcast first.

[C]

It's freeing.

[B]

Yeah, it is freeing. It has opened up a lot, hasn't it? Radio executives are morons. Just call it a podcast. You know, I tested that theory the other day. I tell you guys that. Yeah, I was talking to somebody and I said, watch this. I tell somebody I do a radio show. You tell anybody under the age of like 30 do radio show. Oh, really? It's like radio. They act like I just said, yeah, you know, I run a printing press. What? Yeah, an old fashioned ink and spin printing press. I, I do rugs on looms. Like that's what they, they hear. And then I said, oh, I just have a podcast that's going great. Look where what is like the excitement level is double. So I got to do these executives spending 80 grand on tests radio in their kitchen anymore. They don't have one. Call it a podcast. Well, what about radio? You guys ruined that. Yeah. Hi. I heart you. You guys ruined that. Find me the one dude in a suit in this business who has stewarded this industry through these rocky waters of the Internet and all the other stuff and put it in a better place. You won't, because it's douchers like Marv Nyren and those guys that are in charge of things. They're idiots. Sorry. I go off on this every once in a while because. I'm sorry. It's a certain point in your career when you look around and you realize, oh, God, I'm an idiot and I'm smarter than everybody in charge. This is terrifying. I'm not saying I'm smart. It's like when people thought Doug Hopkins was my dad in that commercial. It isn't because I look good. That's not on me being so, like, man, that guy's really looking good. Uh, Doug and I are the same age. Somebody thought he was my dad. That is not because I'm walking to the party looking like Macaulay Culkin. It's. It's not a youth thing. God, I love that story. Uh, Nash Desai says, hey, Brady, you owe me a few bucks for the headache you gave me. I just had to buy some aspirin. That's on you. Uh, Matthew, I like what you wrote. Emergency, Emergency. Brady stroking out. Incomplete story. Guy said, I used to do this in school all the time. I wouldn't finish my report, but I'd be like, damn it. I still have to do the presentation, see if I can get through this. Incomplete was my nickname. Andrew says, I think it's time we limit the segments where Brady has full sentences to say. Just little asides. That's where he's strong. I'm having a conniption over here. Yeah, we got to be careful. Don't bring incomplete stories to the party.

[C]

That's what I do.

[B]

I know you're good at it.

[C]

I know you can't stop me.

[B]

I don't think we can, but it is. Even Shane Orlando text in easy. He was worried about Easy Shade. Don't let Brady drive home alone today. I don't want to fix his car again. He just got done fixing your car, right?

[C]

Sure did.

[B]

Yeah. It's great stuff. Then I got an email from Dore Yoshi. Listen to this one.

[A]

Did you discover Bill late?

[B]

Pardon?

[A]

Your discover Bill.

[B]

No, no, no, it's not. No, she's not an Indian. Oh, it sounds like it. Dore Yoshi That's Asian. Well, India's Asia, but still. Yeah, we'll see. Dore Yoshi.

[C]

But she's not Japanese.

[B]

That's what I'm hearing.

[A]

Tech support.

[B]

No, no, no. They don't do tech support. They do. Well, I guess they do tech support. There's not enough. I'm thinking of the people on the phone doing tech support. Yeah, they're the ones fixing all the Indians. Says, good morning, John. I've been listening to your podcast longer than you'd like to know. Uh, it's always been a great start to my day. And after hearing the windshield wiper struggles from you kumquats. Pretty strong insult right there. Calling people a kumquat. Very 1920s, but also cool. Yeah, see? Bring on. Yeah, yeah. Look at you, kumquat. Look at this kumquat. I was inspired to try changing my windshield wipers myself. I'm 5 foot, 4 inch girl. I'm not expired yet. I'm 33. I know, Brett. I'm getting close. And I usually outsource this kind of thing to a man that sells them to me. Listening to three grown men defeated by windshield wipers made me curious. Now, time out here. This windshield Wiper defeat was five years ago, right? It's 2021, because I had just gotten my shoulder surgery, and that's why I couldn't even reach up. Brett had a broken arm, and Brady, although her excuse is stronger than yours, wasn't tall enough to get over the top of the Jeep to reach the windshield.

[C]

You wouldn't be able to touch your Jeep.

[B]

Yeah. Five, four. She didn't need a step stool. So right off the bat, you're a kumquat, too. Second, I just had my windshield wiper replacement story here, and I got them right on and right off. I figured it out. Now, I wasn't even trying when these two kumquats were trying to change mine back in 21. Just recently, I changed my Jeep's windshield wipers on all four. Now, the funny part of that story is I didn't realize there's a plastic coating you gotta take off for each of the wipers. I thought I just had really cool electric blue windshield wiper plates. And then when it was raining, I'm like, oh, these things have to wear in. One side was working, and that had fallen off. And then Amy, or I'm going to call her, my personal assistant on Thursday was in the car with me, and she goes, see, you got to take that plastic strip off. So, yeah, I got a Little kumquati. But I did figure out how to put those on, and it was easy, she says. Turns out it was very easy. It took me five minutes to do. It's harder to get them out of the box. The hell were you guys doing out there? Uh. Thanks for getting me to try something new. I'm proud that I'm more of a man than any of you. I've attached a photo so no one assumes I'm too unfortunate looking to have someone do this for me. So you know who to call next time your wipers act up. And I'm hoping to qualify for the Jew and the WAP Law firm. Love you guys. And the podcast. Never change or do and learn to be a man like me. All right, that's enough. Dory Yoshi. So then she fires over a picture, and she's one of those fiery gingers. Of course you're good at dismantling things and putting them back together. You're one of the. You steal copper. You're one of those. You dig holes and find stuff. You start with windshield wipers. Then you break down like some sort of electric. Your house is probably just a series of wires and disconnected things. And then crazy eyes. And then you finish up, usually as a crazy ginger, dismantling some man's heart and turning him into an absolute wreck. You're ginger. You don't count.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You come quack. Yeah. Kumquat. Ginger. Don't come with me at these ginger stories. Changing your windshield wife. It's a five year old story, Dory.

[C]

Last Saturday, I was pit crew.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Ronnie calls me. She goes. She's heading to yoga in the morning. She's like, I got a flat. She's in the parking lot of the place.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And she goes, I don't know what I hit, but the cars. You know that. Back tires flat. Hop in the car with Kirby. Drive over there. Put my gloves on. Open up the thing for this. It's a space saver.

[B]

Yeah. And it's baby tires.

[C]

And it's the hand crank. Got it done. 10 minutes. I thought, this is gonna be an all day nightmare. Yeah. Well, get it done. All done. Put the gloves away, Kirby. That's how it's done.

[B]

Yes. You taught your daughter how to change a tire.

[C]

I feel like you're accomplished. Let's. Let's go get a Dutch.

[B]

Yeah. Nice. And then you didn't. Ronnie went off to yoga, and you and Kirby got Dutch brothers.

[C]

It was chunked. I don't know what I hit. I'm like, it wasn't a.

[B]

She smashed into something.

[C]

Yeah, she tore it off and it tore the tire.

[B]

That's not good. She called you.

[C]

I'm like, yeah, because I'm. I'm like, we have.

[B]

Did it make you feel like a man?

[C]

It did.

[B]

Yeah. That's a good feeling. But I also kind of.

[C]

Your car's ready to go when you're done with the yoga.

[B]

I agree. You do feel good as a man. Traditional role as a man. She should have come immediately home and, like, cleaned and made a meal, don't you think?

[A]

You mean she didn't.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Let's see. That was like.

[B]

If you doordash that night. It's an affront to all things gender related. If a woman calls you and says, play the traditional role and get your ass out here. I'm a woman. I'm not changing this tire. Suddenly her argument for we can do anything you can do sucks. And now I want you back in gender roles. You're. Come home and cook and clean tonight. Just for the day. Because you put me. I don't want you to be subservient. But when I have to do caveman roles, you have to do cave girl roles. Come home, clean this goddamn house, and cook me a meal. That didn't happen, did it?

[C]

No, but I'm just thinking.

[B]

But he's smiling like, God, that's smart.

[C]

Well, smart track up because, like, if I came into work and also, oh, my God, my tire's flat. Call her, hey, my tires.

[D]

Yeah, well, she wouldn't do anything.

[B]

Oh, you know what you could do next time you get a flat tire?

[A]

Call.

[B]

Call your wife and go, hey, tires flat. I gotta change that. Cook a meal and clean the house and then just hang out. Because, like, I'm a man today. Like you had. There is that.

[C]

But I. You do like the fact that you're doing that because you feel like. Okay, well, not only am I. You feel like you're.

[B]

Yeah. You're providing you're the most.

[A]

You should provide a meal.

[B]

Exactly. Traditional male roles are still celebrated, but when you try to say traditional female roles, you're just automatically a misogynist jerk.

[C]

But there we. There I am. And again. Looking for reward. No, but I. I wasn't. Did you get a handy?

[B]

She should be looking for, like, being grateful.

[C]

Nothing.

[A]

No handy.

[C]

No mouth.

[B]

Gratitude should come from birthday weekend. You should. Oh, no, Mother Maron. I don't even say that. God. Oh, my God. What the. Cordell and Cordell hitting me right now. Oh. Oh, my. That.

[C]

I didn't want to say anything.

[D]

The man's trying to eat.

[B]

You just turned this into the office at the bottom. With that the out. Yeah. I'm Tom.

[A]

Chrissy.

[B]

I mean. I mean, Brady. I feel like I've been stabbed in the house.

[A]

I do, too.

[B]

Your birthday weekend, you got up, you weren't doing anything, but you probably. It was morning.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Saturday.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Hop out of whatever you're doing. Probably watching Mayor Kingstown or something.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

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[B]

Holmberg's morning. Sick grab.

[A]

Kirby.

[B]

What's she doing up?

[C]

She got up early because what we do. Oh. Might have had. Was it either a tennis lesson?

[B]

No. So she gets in the car with you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You go over, you change the tire.

[C]

Whatever you want to go. Sometimes we'll go get breakfast somewhere. Saturday morning, if she's up early.

[A]

That should have made you. Exactly.

[B]

There's no more getting breakfast.

[C]

There isn't really.

[B]

You know what should have happened?

[C]

Barely is up that early.

[B]

This should happen. Ronnie should have gotten in the good car that you came to get the change of tire and gone off and bought breakfast for him. Brought it back. But I bet she stood there with her arms folded and watched the whole.

[C]

Event she was in. I wanted to, you know, do the Yoga.

[B]

Oh, you gave her the car.

[C]

She.

[B]

Good car.

[C]

No, I fixed the car in the park where she was.

[B]

Oh, was she at the yoga place already? Oh, I see. Okay. So she wasn't, like, waiting to go.

[C]

And I go, well, just go to the yoga thing.

[B]

Change.

[C]

I got you.

[B]

And you did. You fixed the whole damn thing and nothing. Yeah, I'm not saying it's Ronnie. I'm saying all women. Whenever you lean on a man with traditional male roles and say, these are your roles, you do this. Then we can't be bad for saying, all right, cook me a meal and clean the house today. Today's traditional roll day. And also, you know, gussy it up a little bit. Go put a dress on. Go. Give me a little.

[A]

Mrs. Draper.

[B]

Give me Mrs. Draper. I want to come home and have part of your.

[C]

The.

[A]

The birthday weekend thing.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah. Desire, manifestation of desire and support. Those are the. That's my. Those are my three tenants for a healthy day. Desire, manifestation of desire and support. That's all we want as men.

[A]

And mouth hugs and handies are a.

[B]

Bonus, and we will be more than.

[C]

That's part of it.

[B]

That's part of the manifestation of desire.

[A]

I know, but I'm just saying. You desired me putting it in layman's terms.

[B]

Oh, sure. They don't understand my three words.

[A]

No, it seems like they don't half the time.

[B]

I'm not blaming them. I'm just saying it's. It is just a little off putting to have all this, like, leaning on us. And we're fine with the traditional male roles. They're not offensive.

[C]

And she's pretty darn good at the.

[B]

Don't cushion this. I'm talking about because she's up just one day. Yeah, I know. She's listening. And Ronnie's great. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying it's that, but I'm saying when a woman says, man do man stuff and a man says woman do woman stuff, the man is a jerk. And we blow up. When a woman asks us to be like, well, be a man for me. You got it. I got a snowed man. That should have resulted in a glorious toothless mouth hug at the end. You saved the day. You're my hero.

[C]

Got it done before then. I just remember because that was the morning we were going to the zoo, so we had to. We had a time frame there of about two hours to get that.

[B]

Get the tire done.

[C]

I thought, I'm gonna need all that. Oh, I didn't. It was good. What about half hour. Because we were leaving.

[A]

You had an hour and a half left.

[B]

90 minutes for the blow. Yeah.

[C]

So we went. Yep.

[B]

You got a zoo blowjob is what you're saying.

[C]

Yeah, by Bonobo.

[B]

Oh, didn't ask that. Don't get weird. There we go.

[C]

No.

[B]

Said the F. Are we talking about here? She shouldn't have even left without Brady waking up to his d in his mouth. There's a problem here, Christopher. That might be a little aggressive.

[A]

No, but it was his birthday weekend.

[B]

Birthday boy. I don't think it should have been happened with or without the flat. But, yeah, either way, thanks for sharing. It's a tough one. I struggle with it.

[C]

It's about being, feeling, you know, I'm a man.

[B]

Yeah, I know, but that. We like that. And you know, like, why don't. What makes them feel like a woman? They're yelling at us about changing windshield wipers and calling us kumqu. Oh, my God. Here we go. That's what we need. Desire. Manifestation of desire.

[C]

Support.

[B]

Oh, Lord. There she is. Firefighter, cop, FBI. Oh, man. This little move at the air, I turn that off. Yeah.

[A]

You know what?

[C]

You know that's real. That's not a.

[B]

My problem is I've been watching a lot of this. This. There's a dude named West Scott. Not Westcott. That's one name. West Scott's his name. And he's a black guy who's like a right wing Republican. He does these Instagram videos. I find him wildly entertaining. And then it leads. When you watch him, it leads to a. Another thing of the. At whatever podcast. And I love watching that because it's. The dude's kind of saying what I've been saying for years. But it's like this, you know, traditional roles aren't so bad. Why do you guys fight so hard? And he asks women those questions kind of.

[C]

Right.

[B]

We're more than happy to be providers and protectors and do the role of the caveman. I like a lady that cooks sometimes. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? Oh, my God. You're one of those. I'm like, well, who's gonna cook? I do that too.

[C]

Yesterday in the entertainment trail, that guy. Is it Chris Harrison?

[B]

Who?

[C]

From the Bachelor.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He's starting his new dating thing. That was traditionally based relationship.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And people were all, yeah.

[B]

They get mad about it. Like there's something wrong with it. If you're a woman who likes that, that's great. You don't have to.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

I don't particularly care for a man.

[C]

That likes that traditional, like, you know.

[B]

I don't care for it. I just don't want you to ever get mad at me with any sort of women rights thing about, like, well, you can. Like, if you're going to lean on me for tire change and you start saying, you start getting uppity about, like, ladies can do this. Okay, I understand. But, like, don't discredit us or discount us completely as you don't need us. We went through 20 years. I said this when, when I first started in radio. One of the most dangerous things I watched as a kid, as a young person, was television shows screaming every day, I don't need a man. Like, I watched the Maury show, Jerry Spring, we don't need a man. People were having kids and, like, the man was like, it was an. You just provided a little sperm. I got this. And then suddenly it turned into like this group of kids who couldn't function or they get a whole entire generation of people who are incapable. And. Well, it was because we were celebrating. The crowd would clap. I have. I have five kids on my own and I don't need a man. I'm like, well. And the crowd would be like, that's great. I'm like, no, it's not. Why are we celebrating that? And I watched that whole thing happen. And you're like, oh, but just counting men in our roles has been something we as dudes totally been in on. Like, yeah, I better just shut up or I won't get blown. Yeah, you're great at everything. Yeah. You don't have to do anything around the house if you don't. That's rude and it's old fashioned. Old fashioned.

[C]

But the old fashioned factor of that. I actually liked that she called me.

[B]

Sure. That's awesome. Because dudes blow up to be a man. You know what's great? Try to hire a male maid and watch the. Watch your wife or girlfriend go, what's this? He's not going to do a good job. They don't like that. Same way you'd have, like, you know, you know, a female contractor come to your house and start climbing ladder. Like, she's gonna hurt herself. You'd worry she might be great at it, but your brain's just going, I don't like this. I'm not gonna hire, like a whole team of girls comes over to do your house.

[C]

Our situation right now.

[B]

You have a male maid.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You do.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And Ronnie hates him. Ronnie hates.

[C]

Okay, I got. He's great. No, she's okay with him, but she'd.

[B]

Rather have a woman.

[C]

He pulls up two things. Pulls up in a nice red Mercedes.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And he's black.

[B]

Oh, even better.

[C]

And it was initially because I. It was a, you know, referral from that home glow. And then Rodney. Rodney's fantastic. But here I am, all the stuff that we're talking about, that coming in here. And he's like, calls, hey, you want me to come over? Yeah, yeah, come on over.

[A]

Ronnie, you got Usher taking care of stuff over at your house.

[C]

It's like, you're cool with this, right? You're okay?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't you be?

[C]

I don't know. You just feel like.

[B]

You'D rather have a woman. You'd rather have a woman because it's an insult in your manhood that he's in there cleaning your house. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Just playing when he pulls up.

[B]

In the back. Hey, Ms. Bogan. I'm here to clean your house, man. You all right with that?

[C]

Sure.

[D]

Rodney, you know where to go.

[B]

Just because I'm here, man, you don't hear that? What? What happened?

[D]

Every time you clean the house, the fire alarms yell at us in 10 minutes.

[C]

Yeah, be ready.

[B]

Clean this bedroom. Looks like somebody soaked the sheets.

[C]

The next week. Rodney, we're missing a tennis bracelet.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You can't. And things. Things can go. Rodney knows it, too. Things can go missing and, you know. You're not saying anything.

[D]

Rodney, we're missing a ring.

[B]

Are you really? And you are asking me because.

[D]

No reason. Keep to Dustin.

[C]

Have you seen one?

[D]

Yeah, I got plans to put my.

[B]

I couldn't do it. I couldn't have Usher clean house three times. I couldn't do it. I have to leave.

[C]

I don't know what to do.

[B]

I need my traditional house cleaners to be Mexican women. I can't. There's too much history with the US of A. To have Rodney just, you know, in.

[C]

A couple times he rolls up in a bend.

[A]

I mean, what kind of house?

[C]

But then I'm in the house sometimes, you know, like, you feel good work there.

[B]

Rodney, why are you in there? You need some water? Get out. You can't stay at the house with a maid there, you lazy. That's just proof you got nothing to do and you're letting somebody else do it. I have to act busy. If there's a maid at the house, I can't just sit there and have her clean around me. Oh, you got a set of balls on you. Have a black guy clean your house while you just sit there and do nothing.

[C]

Got my mint julep.

[B]

Do you make him call you a colonel?

[C]

Yeah, he's just a boss man.

[D]

The Bluebirds are coming inside now. Rodney.

[B]

That's real nice ball.

[D]

You're getting the accent down. I really appreciate that.

[E]

Please tell me the artwork has been gone.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You don't have any of that horrible racist.

[C]

No, he.

[A]

He.

[C]

I gave you total waiter.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, a little.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That serving. The waiter. The serving. Louis Armstrong. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Is that still out?

[C]

No, my. My uncle took that years ago.

[B]

I'm just gonna get my feet up.

[D]

And watch more Mayor of Kingstown.

[B]

I don't know what that show is.

[D]

It's for whites.

[C]

I go out of my way watching, you know, coming to America, stuff like that. What's up, Rodney?

[D]

I'm watching Juice again. Get down. Get down on your hands and knees and clean that stain there. Rodney. I'm not doing anything.

[B]

How can you sit at home and have that happen?

[C]

My white glove on and dusting the shelves.

[B]

What kind of man are you, Brady, that you have an African American gentleman cleaning the house and you stay home the whole time?

[A]

It looks.

[C]

Not the whole time.

[B]

Most of it, though.

[C]

He gets there, let him in.

[B]

You stay there. You talk to him. You hang out. Yes, you do.

[C]

The first time I was in the.

[B]

I man watching a movie of. That's worse.

[C]

I know.

[A]

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[B]

Homeburg's Morning Sickness. You gotta pretend busy. Also, it looks like you don't trust him.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Oh, it's terrible. You got a fire rod. Can't be done. You can have a man clean your house while you're home.

[C]

So the last time I just gave him the door combo.

[B]

Well, right. If you're not home, it's easy, but you can't be home and have this problem.

[C]

Rodney, we're missing a watch.

[B]

Exactly. You can't accuse him of anything. You can't misplace something, then imagine you asked him where that was and then you find it later like.

[D]

Like, oh, he's gonna kill me.

[C]

He does a. I do a job.

[B]

Of course he does a good job. I'm sure he does.

[C]

The dilemma.

[B]

The dilemma of you laying your lazy ass around while somebody else cleans your house?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's terrible. That's just awful. You gotta play pretend super biz. Just go to the park and sit with the dog.

[A]

I don't know how you sit there.

[B]

Can't sit and watch.

[C]

I do.

[B]

No, you don't. You said you're in the man cave watching movies the first time. That's too many times you plop down with a two hour feature while Rodney cleans your house. You had nothing to do that day. That's just brutal, sir. You need me to come on in there, clean that room?

[D]

No, Rodney, everything's fine in this room. Zippity doo, zippy.

[C]

Hey.

[D]

My, oh my. Rodney.

[B]

Yes, sir?

[D]

I'd like another Sprite, please.

[B]

We all on a Sprite, sir.

[D]

Well, then I guess you gotta hoof it over to that Circle K, don't you, Rodney?

[B]

That's an extra charge, sir.

[D]

Well, toot sweet.

[C]

He finished up. I'm like, y', all, it looks great. Thank you. You wanna shoot some hoops?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I got a new neon sign here. It says welcome to Candyland.

[B]

Yes, sir.

[C]

What it feels like now.

[D]

Why aren't you wearing the tuxedo I got you?

[B]

Yes, sir, you're right, sir. I'm sorry.

[C]

You're scared, man.

[B]

Go. Yeah. Yes, sir. I tried real hard now, sir. Got away up high there. Oh, your door frames was dusty.

[D]

Well, that's something I'll never say I've done. Top of a door frame is basically the Empire State Building to a guy like now, Rochester.

[C]

Rodney.

[B]

A lot of dirty Stains in your toilet, sir? It's gonna take me a while.

[D]

That's Kirby.

[B]

Hey, man, don't pin it on me, man. So let me get this straight. Y' all gonna just sit and watch movies while I clean your house?

[D]

That's right, Rodney.

[B]

All right.

[D]

Do you have anything to do today? Not at all.

[B]

So you could be cleaning this mother by yourself, but you decided no.

[D]

Would you mind putting the record on the phonograph, Rodney? We like to pretend it's 1840 when you're here.

[B]

This is Brady. Lives in Gilbert, Arizona. Has a black male housemaid who drives a stolen car. These optics are not good. Brady.

[C]

Stolen?

[B]

He's a homoglow maid. It's a stolen car. I don't care if it was you rolling up in the Mercedes. And you're getting. You are. You have stolen a Mercedes. It's nice, man, oh, man. Did I just hear right? Brady's wife is sleeping with a black guy named Rodney, and he pretends to be a maid every once in a while? Oh, you heard me. Oh, I probably act like I'm cleaning or something.

[D]

Yeah, that's good. Scrub a dub dub hi, Rodney.

[B]

Scrub a dub dub. That's all we up to here now. Scrub a dub dub in usland.

[D]

Rodney is a good one.

[C]

His singing is really good.

[D]

Hey, Rodney avoided an accident there. Ronnie's asleep nude in the bed.

[B]

I didn't know nothing about that. Now, son.

[D]

I did. Lucky I got home in time before that embarrassing scenario unfolded.

[C]

Ronnie, we gotta break up.

[D]

Ronnie, you're actually dusting the TV with just your hands. You don't have any equipment. You know what?

[B]

I did forget my equipment. Let me run out to the Mercedes real quick and grab my cleaning supplies. Let's see if I can get cleaning supplies out the back of the vehicle. Yeah, it's not like I was here doing anything but cleaning. He goes back to the barber shop. I was banging this man's wife, and he came home and I started to scribble dub dub. And he thought we I was the cleaner. Yeah, Tom's right. Did I just hear Rice Brady sleeping with a black guy named Rodney who drives a red Mercedes. And Brady sticks around and watches movies.

[D]

Seems funny that the house is exactly as it was two hours ago when Rodney first got here. And Ronnie's always asleep.

[B]

Kiss 12:30 playing in the background while the black maid is there. Rodney from Kiss 1230. All right, Brady, you have to do this. On a scale of 1 to 10, what does he look like? We talking Laurence Fishburne or Michael B. Jordan. What is Rodney's. Be honest.

[C]

Like, he's right in between.

[B]

He's like a 6, 7. He's a good looking man. Decent. Yeah, right.

[A]

Well, Brady said he's a seven, too, right?

[B]

Oh, that's a good point.

[A]

I mean, are we grading on the.

[B]

Curve or the worst thing a man can say in a courtroom?

[D]

That's when I caught my wife blowing the maid.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Texter asks if you renamed Ronnie Aunt.

[B]

Viv when he's over. You're, you're a good guest. I say it all the time. Thank you for joining us. Part of this type 5. There's a good type 5 right there. My God. And Rodney, I'm sure does a great job. I just. There is no, I can't do it with Gloria. Gloria comes to the house and I'm like, I'm out. I, I, I have to find stuff to do all day long because. And she stays 10 hours sometimes. So then she'll clean half the house.

[A]

That's a good thing. You have another house.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. And I'll lock myself in in the, in the other house where I just go to this rental and sleep.

[C]

So the, it's the, the first time he comes over, it's first time you meet, no matter who it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You feel like one. You want to stay around because you don't know. You want to see, you know.

[A]

You don't trust us.

[C]

How they do.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Trust factor. But like, how much background do you know? You know, do you know anything else? Doesn't matter. I can do it in about an hour and a half.

[B]

Hello, Miss Ronnie. Your husband gonna leave ever?

[D]

No, he's watching Roots.

[C]

And it's not only that, because Ronnie's not even home.

[B]

I'm the only one there, right? It's worse. Can I use your Sonos for a little bit? Sir.

[D]

Sings Cleaning. So.

[B]

Don't go singing it now. That's my tune. Sorry. Don't you have something to do? I mean, how can you watch a black man clean your house? And honestly, as a white person, how can you actually be part of this? Don't you have any guilt inside you at all?

[C]

The one day I come home early, music's already playing.

[B]

Man. This guy has gone meta on me. This is the best text we've gotten. Do you realize the only difference between Ronnie and Rodney, Known as the D. Well done. Well.

[D]

He's in the kitchen.

[C]

Nothing but an apron.

[D]

Rodney, where's your pants?

[B]

It's hot in here.

[D]

Can I call you Usher?

[B]

You can. You're going to get punched in the mouth, but yes. Now, has Rodney ever gotten stuck in Brady's dryer? I scrub it up. Dab inside the dryer. I'm trapped. Please, I need you to dislodge me from your Maytag.

[D]

Please, let me see what I can do.

[B]

Oh, my God. You penetrated my butthole.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, he's stuck in the dryer scenario.

[B]

This is crazy. It's just flat crazy. Anyway, now the podcast is going great. Yeah, I couldn't do it. Brady. I don't know how you do that. How? You watch a black man clean your house and you just sit and watch Roots.

[C]

Just had. Just had a baby eight months ago.

[B]

Of course he did. I mean, announcement.

[C]

We can't do this. I can't fire him.

[A]

Did you hire him from the Maury show?

[B]

Yeah. You got a half of me already. Just. Just for fun.

[A]

You are not.

[B]

Yeah, just for fun in the background while he's cleaning. Next time, just go just the old fast.

[C]

I'm all done.

[B]

I've gotta get milk.

[A]

That Mercedes Benz 90 down your side street.

[B]

It's not you.

[D]

Oh, man, not yours. I was just kidding.

[C]

Let alone the first time he pulls up my neighbors across the street.

[B]

Oh, of course. Yeah.

[C]

Yes, he's with me.

[B]

Everything's okay. Don't worry about it. Everything's okay. And I'm sure he's doing a fine job. I'm not blaming Rodney at all. He's just making ends meet. I'm blaming you for sitting there watching, watching a black man clean your house in 2026. That, and we were just talking about gender roles. That's a rough one. And for whatever reason, and it's not me, it's society. If it was a black woman, no one would bat an eye. Yep. It's just societal norms, and that isn't one of them.

[A]

Clyde wants to notice. Kirby, take Rodney for show and tell.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you used to do that when you were a kid. I should. She taking her over, Gilbert. Hey, man, check it out. This is our cleaning negro we call mushroom man. I would prefer you didn't say that to the class. Hello, Gilbert. Christian, man, this is real. It's not.

[C]

AI man, you ready for the last, last time?

[B]

You got more? Oh, there's more. Grab a D.

[C]

Last time I, you know, gave him the combo. So he's there playing cuz no one's home. And I go, just text me when you're done. And so he texts me. He's like, all done. Why don't you know your daughter's here.

[D]

That's not bad.

[B]

Holberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[C]

But I'm adding to the scenario that she came home now.

[B]

She's in the mix, man. All right, then. Thank you, Brady. I hear him pull over the driveway.

[A]

We've had four people asking for Rodney, the house cleaner.

[B]

We'll get him. He'll be in the center square with Brady cleaning the square.

[D]

You missed a spot, Rodney.

[B]

Well, thank you for pointing it out. Certainly it wasn't from a lack of you trying to help.

[D]

I'm on episode four of Roots like this. Good.

[C]

This shouldn't be any problems. I shouldn't have any problems with this. Like Al doing the.

[B]

The yard. It's totally different, cuz. Look, Al goes in the yard. He's a landscaping team. Yeah, Al was there by himself in the backyard, just humping it. And I'm drinking laminate on the porch watching. It's terrible.

[A]

Plus, Al don't pull up in a red Mercedes like Easy American Gigolo.

[B]

Is there any way I can keep my jewels in my coat jacket?

[C]

What's going on here?

[B]

I don't like to scrub a dub dub in the Armani.

[D]

Scrub a dub dub.

[B]

I'm coming over. You have given me a reason to want to be in Gilbert. I've got to be part of this.

[C]

Got a backpack vacuum.

[B]

We're gonna watch a way brothers movie and see if we can just make him stop.

[D]

Would you throw in white chicks in there? Rodney, get to work.

[B]

Scrub a dip dip. Y' all watch white chicks while I'm here?

[C]

Yes, please.

[D]

Scrub a dub dub dub.

[A]

I guess we know where Kirby's been getting their weed cleaning. Houses don't pay for bends.

[B]

Hey, man, he has no idea what we're doing here. Rodney, scrub a dub dub and then hand over the bag. Come on now. I like sexy Rodney. Scrub a dub dub dub dub.

[D]

Keep it down now, Rodney roots is almost over, but scrub a dub dub.

[C]

Ronnie has a pep in her step.

[B]

I bet she's limping anyway. Is that real?

[A]

Is that a real.

[B]

Is that real? I've wondered that about those Internet home cleaning services that they charge you like 10 bucks and you get. You know, you get add ons at first time, but still, it's like it almost feels like a prostitution ring.

[C]

Well, then you don't. You got to watch it because you don't know. You realize you hire the one time.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're now contracting four times. And if you don't, you can. You can get out of it.

[B]

Yeah. But that's Homoglow. I'm talking. There's, like, a bunch of them.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It all feels like there's some sort of a weird, like, yeah, I'm here to clean your house. And my ga. And then they look at. They don't have anything. The one girl that came to clean the rental, I let her in. She didn't have anything. She came to the door, and she goes, hi.

[C]

You just have a phone? Oh, well, Homoglow.

[B]

No, no, she's with Homoglow. And she showed up, and I'm like, okay, do you need supplies? She goes, I got a. Is it like a bag of rags? And then I had all the cleaning supplies, like the vacuum and the Swiffer and all that. And I'm like, you're just gonna use my stuff, right? Yeah. And my brain was like, she's not here to clean. Like, she'll go through and do the basics, but I think she's here for sex. I think that's on the table.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I'm not saying homo glows that way. I think maybe she.

[D]

She brought nothing.

[B]

The first one. I got a girl now who's great. I use her every time now for the rental house. It's quick. She's in and out in like, an hour and a half. It's not that bad, but it's just a great job. But, yeah, couldn't do that. Scott says, I was at Brady's house the other day, and I asked him, where do you even find coconut pledge? And he said, This house smells like a resort down in the Cayman Islands.

[D]

That's my goal.

[B]

You. Anyway, I don't even want to keep. I got other stuff I could do that's just. I mean, come on. You're not gonna top this. No, I mean, come on. I got a guy whose wife wants him to buy boobs, and I. I got all sorts of stuff to go to this. Just leave Rodney where he sits. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there?

[A]

I didn't even get the whole list together, but I'll give you what I got so far just because I do.

[B]

Look like cleaning while you run this list there, B.

[C]

Next Thursday.

[B]

Is he coming next Thursday? What are you doing next Thursday?

[A]

I don't know. We're doing a show live for.

[B]

Want to watch a movie? The barber shop is on it, too. I guarantee you, every time this is how the interaction goes. Like the.

[D]

You're late.

[B]

I know. I'm sorry.

[C]

That's already happened once.

[B]

I'm positive of it.

[D]

What do you do other than clean houses? Rodney.

[B]

Gotta get a little curious.

[D]

How does a man cleaning houses afford that beautiful Mercedes Benz?

[B]

Getting a little too inquisitive. Sorry.

[C]

It's like a 90s video.

[B]

The G wagon pulls up, so I gotta go outside.

[C]

Brady, it's a nice silk suit you're wearing.

[B]

Yeah, well, you know, the temperatures have changed. It's a little warmer than we expected, so I gotta go outside to water my.

[D]

You got a carload of.

[B]

Yeah, Drop. Stop.

[C]

Every time he comes out of the car, it's slow motion.

[B]

Yeah, We're going to Brady's next Thursday.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Gnr. Frank Stallone. Frank for Frank.

[B]

Oh, that's my guy.

[A]

Seven. Dust, Bitch, Motley Crue, Black Crows, Avengers.

[C]

Seven.

[A]

You know, body count. There goes the neighborhood coming up for Rodney. And then somebody wants to hear the.

[B]

Whole Usher song with him. You've heard it eight times. Oh, my God. It's on the loop. I just clean a little faster when this goes on here.

[D]

Now, Rodney, what are you doing there with that? You have one of those steel wool pads?

[B]

Yes, sir, I do. He's in the shower, naked, just scrubbing the walls. Got to have the water on while this goes on now. Wow.

[C]

He hasn't asked me what I do yet.

[B]

He hasn't.

[C]

I'm with FBI.

[B]

Don't tell him. I hope word gets back to you. Clean a little round man's house in Gilbert. Yes, I do. I do. His name is Bradley and he's a very nice young man. Watches Roots for hours on end while I clean his house and he lazily does nothing. That's terrible. Rodney, get here.

[C]

This is my favorite part.

[B]

Do you like. Oh, this one.

[D]

Kunta Kinte.

[B]

This is a good one.

[D]

This is my favorite episode.

[B]

Do you go to the fridge and get stuff? You do, don't you? Like you're. You. You don't. You can't get up.

[C]

The second time, I was out on the patio the whole time.

[B]

Did you. Oh, you sit outside and watch movies, you son of a.

[C]

No, I. I take the dogs for a walk. Yeah, I try to, you know, try.

[B]

To get busy, but you're not. You're not doing it enough.

[C]

It's not quite there yet. I'm like, you know, until this last time, like, here's the workout.

[B]

What do you mean it's not quite there yet? You just don't trust him yet. Yeah. What are you going to do about it if he starts just robbing you blind and you're.

[C]

Oh, he could.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're not doing anything.

[C]

Yeah, it's not there. It's just I happen to be there. It's like. It's.

[B]

I laugh like a smoker because it's just called I am dying over.

[C]

You know. You know, locking up afterwards, whatever. Like that. Now it's to that point. Because at first I wouldn't.

[B]

What are you gonna lock up for? He's the only one you're worried about. And it's your neighborhood. You gave him the car.

[C]

I know, it's silly.

[B]

Yeah, that's dumb. Just let him leave.

[E]

Also, you run out of here at 10:05 every day to go golfing. How is it that you are home?

[B]

Golf game on Thursdays when Rodney's schedule and just let him in?

[C]

I did.

[B]

No, no. From here on, there's no word.

[C]

A total. You can't fight Rodney.

[B]

Bagger Vance three times. Have Rodney carry your bags.

[D]

Brady's got a slave.

[B]

This is terrible. It's so weird. Is the gender. It's like you just cannot stop that. You can't sit on the porch and have lemonade while I. You just can't.

[C]

It's.

[B]

I don't know how you do it. And now you can't fire him. It's worse. You just have to find everything in the world to do and never be home when Rodney's there. As a man.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't do it. Oh, the guilt. I feel guilty. I could not. Could you come home? Oh, no, man.

[A]

But I can go to Brady's house.

[B]

And watch it all day long. I get up and start helping. I'm like, dude, I know I'm home. I could be doing this. This is just lazy.

[C]

I have.

[B]

Of course you have. You got a Tyler Perry movie going on in your house, right? Oh, my God.

[D]

I'm gonna go golfing. Come on, Bagger.

[E]

Come on.

[B]

Come with me. And you walk out. You forgot your clubs.

[D]

Did I?

[B]

Oh, I see. Listen, I laugh like I've been smoking for 18 years. I'm dying, Brett and I have chest cold. Holy crap. I know. We're both gonna honk up a bunch of crude. This is not good. Anyway, I don't care what we play. We can do a little Frank Stallone for my man Frank. Okay. Lost my boy Frank last night.

[C]

So is it 10:05 yet?

[B]

It's almost. You gotta get out of here. Six days from a Rodney visit. That's a great story, though. That's a tight five.

[A]

So we're live from Brady's house?

[B]

Yeah, live from Brady's house. Every once a month. On Thursdays, we turn back. Turn back the hands of time. We all dress like Lincoln and just hang out at brazen. At 2, we open the front door and go free to go. Oh, man. I'm with you, man. That's so funny. Did you know how funny that was before? Yes. All right. That's all right. It's Frankston. I didn't know if you knew.

[C]

I held off for sharing that for a while.

[B]

It's Frank Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said, fully erected.