02-07-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary Episode: 02-07-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmberg's Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
Release Date: February 7, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

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1. Allergy Season and Driving Hazards
The show kicks off with John Holmberg introducing a humorous theory linking allergy season to an increase in wrong-way driving incidents. He speculates that as allergy medicines deplete and symptoms worsen, so does reckless driving behavior among residents.

• Notable Quote:
  John Holmberg [00:30]: "It's usually allergy season when the wrong way driving starts... My theory is we could fix this if we could figure out how to get these allergies out of the air."

2. Scottsdale vs. Maryvale: A Comedic Showdown
A significant portion of the episode centers around a lighthearted yet sharp exchange about the stark contrasts between Scottsdale and Maryvale. John Holmberg leads the charge, poking fun at Maryvale's reputation compared to the affluent and picturesque Scottsdale. The hosts delve into humorous comparisons, expressing bafflement over how two areas so geographically close can appear so different.

• Notable Quotes:
  John Holmberg [02:53]: "How can one look so bad and one look that good? It's like sisters, Ivanka and Tiffany. How can they be so different?"
  Brady Bogan [07:18]: "Everyone, every town has its pocket."
  John Holmberg [16:03]: "They get nothing for your money there. Three bedrooms and two baths in 1100 square feet."

3. Phoenix Open and Local Events
The hosts reminisce about watching the Phoenix Open on TV, praising Scottsdale's beauty and expressing a desire to return. They contrast this with their less favorable views of Maryvale, emphasizing Scottsdale's allure through humor and exaggerated comparisons.

• Notable Quote:
  John Holmberg [05:31]: "They don't have money for boobs. Their boobs have already been ruined. Maryvale's the place where the girl you banged once texts you, 'I just want to talk.'"

4. Super Bowl Anticipation and Broadcast Critique
Transitioning to sports, the conversation shifts to the Super Bowl. The hosts express a lukewarm enthusiasm, citing repetitive team matchups and unimpressive commercials. They critique announcers, particularly Tom Brady's performance, and lament the lack of compelling narratives or rivalries in the upcoming game.

• Notable Quotes:
  John Holmberg [33:32]: "I think Tom Brady gets too much heat. He's just not that interesting."
  Brady Bogan [31:16]: "In a poll, 30% of people said their favorite part is the game. 17% tune in mostly for commercials."

5. Racist Incident at the Phoenix Open
A serious yet humorously addressed segment involves a disturbing incident where a young attendee at the Waste Management Open spewed racist remarks. The hosts discuss the viral video capturing the event, condemning the behavior and speculating on the repercussions for both the individual and the community.

• Notable Quotes:
  John Holmberg [40:47]: "This kid's life's over. Good. We ruined a bad guy."
  Brady Bogan [42:59]: "He'd be still looking for him. We lost him for maybe a day or two."

6. Public Restroom Contamination Fears
The discussion veers into public health concerns, specifically addressing fears about contamination in public restrooms. The hosts reference a New York Post article warning users about potential blood and urine traces on toilet paper rolls, linking it to crime scene detection methods.

• Notable Quote:
  John Holmberg [70:12]: "If you're going to the Open, just eat a block of cheese before you go, plug yourself up, and then cork it."

7. Workplace Stress and 'Masturbation Breaks'
In a surprising twist, the hosts explore unconventional workplace policies aimed at reducing anxiety. They discuss a Swedish psychologist's initiative to implement mandatory "masturbation breaks," highlighting both the absurdity and potential effectiveness of such measures in high-stress environments.

• Notable Quote:
  John Holmberg [76:14]: "You're paid to be nice to you. They're not flirting. They're paid to be nice to you."

8. Bill Belichick and NFL Honors Commentary
A humorous critique of Bill Belichick's personal life and public appearances features prominently. The hosts mockingly discuss his relationships, physical appearance, and speculate wildly about his interactions, blending satire with sports commentary.

• Notable Quote:
  John Holmberg [58:13]: "That's the picture of Bill Belichick with his angel last night. Oh, man."

9. Desert Ridge Improv and Event Promotions
The episode includes promotional segments for local events, particularly highlighting performances at the Desert Ridge Improv. The hosts encourage listeners to attend shows featuring various comedians and performers, interspersed with playful banter and inside jokes.

• Notable Quote:
  Brett Vesely [89:29]: "We pay for it. You can be part of that."

10. Guadalupe Squares Super Bowl Game
The climax of the episode revolves around the "Guadalupe Squares," a Super Bowl betting game the hosts engage in live. They humorously predict game outcomes, discuss fan behaviors, and interact with each other in a playful competitive spirit.

• Notable Quote:
  John Holmberg [166:34]: "Yeah, like something she wouldn't sing, but that's a little too slow."

11. Closing Remarks and Call to Action
As the show wraps up, the hosts share personal stories, joke about past experiences, and make lighthearted comments about upcoming shows and guest appearances. They reinforce community connections and encourage listeners to support local events and initiatives.

• Notable Quote:
  John Holmberg [155:00]: "Everything's a lie. Melissa beats yours."

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Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of comedic banter, local Arizona culture satire, sports commentary, and lighthearted promotions. The hosts navigate through a variety of topics with humor, providing an entertaining listen for regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Tune In:
For those who missed this episode, you can listen to Holmberg's Morning Sickness weekdays from 5:30a-10a on 98KUPD (97.9fm), via the 98KUPD app, or at www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

On FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to two. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name is John Holberg. There's Brady Bogan. There's Brett Vessel. And around here somewhere as our own big Dick Toledo. And another perfect day. Although a little weirdness from the 80 degrees starts that you start to feel those something in the air allergies are starting. Oh, that's gonna be a good one. Which means one thing and one thing only. My theory starts to be tested once again as the allergy medicine starts to go off the shelves if you're allowed to buy it. And then people start wrong way driving a lot more often. It's usually allergy season when the wrong way driving starts. That's been my theory for a few years, is we could fix this if in fact we could figure out how to get these allergies out of the air. Because I have a feeling that's something about something for sure. So my eyes are burning this morning. Something out there gotta stand in this mess tomorrow. Starting to smell things. Trees are getting confused like they got little green nubs on them. It's gonna freeze them out again.

[Brady Bogan]

Broccoli.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's little weird bubbles on trees and eyes are on fire. But that's all right. Watched a little that Phoenix open yesterday and my God, you got nothing over there.

[Brett Vesely]

I got it now.

[John Holmberg]

I think there it is. Hang on. No, it's the wrong thing. It switched him up. I tried something new. That's right. This place. No, it was me this time. That was me. I goofed you up. Sorry about that.

[Brett Vesely]

You smell the sisu trees out there yet or.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Still. You know what? We're gonna get the emails that those aren't the ones that smell like human semen. But we'll always remember the sisu poor sisu tree mislabeled as the semen smeller. When it's some sort of beet or bean tree, it'll always be the sisu treats me. But they still, I haven't smelled one yet. Then usually end of February, they start stinking. Your whole neighborhood starts smelling like, look, did I change my pants? What is this? But, yeah, so there's something out there. But, man, watching the Phoenix open a little on TV yesterday and you're like, I want to move back here again. It's so beautiful looking at that thing. What a great looking, perfect. We're just great on tv. We're photogenic. Our city, it's just a beautiful thing.

[Brady Bogan]

There's no filters needed.

[John Holmberg]

No. If Trump sees this, there's going to be a Trump Tower out in Scottsdale. He's going to put, we're going to turn that into the Desert Riviera. It's going to be like the Gaza Strip will be in five to 10 years. We're going to buy Scottsdale and just make it everything we've always wanted and we're going to blow up Maryvale and we're going to do the same there. Because if Scottsdale can look that good, how come Maryvale looks like that? I mean, they're really like 15 miles apart. How can one look that bad and one look that? It's like sisters, you know, it's. It's like Ivanka and the other one I've got Tiffany. How can they be so different and yet from the same exact lines? It doesn't make any sense to anyone. Maryvale, Scottsdale, Maryville, you're the fat, weird Tiffany of the Trump family, whereas Ivanka's out there just looking great every day on television, I think. Unbelievable. It is. It's weird because you look over there and you see it's just dumb luck that the darts fell, landed on Scottsdale and go, this is the beautiful place. And then Maryvale was like, it's the same spot. How did someone muck it up that badly? How can you. How can you look at Scottsdale and say, no, no, no, they're doing it all wrong? What this place needs is more smoke and vape shops. It's like, how in the world did Maryvale, 15 miles from Scottsdale look so drastically different? It doesn't make sense.

[Brett Vesely]

Maryville, you got screwed.

[John Holmberg]

And I know you can say money, but it had to start somewhere. Maryville, you did this to yourselves. You guys had just the same opportunities as Scottsdale and Scottsdale ran with the exact same Stuff. It's just. It's. It's proof that there's no even keel anything. It's that old theory. If everybody was broke or everybody had all their money taken away and you gave everyone $150,000, the people who were successful before you took their money away would find it again. And the people who weren't would lose it again. It's like, it's. It's innate. It's inherent in you that you will end up where you are. Because of you, Mary Vale.

[Brett Vesely]

You did it to yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You did it to yourselves. Like, how come we can't beat Scottsdale at their own game? We didn't build a beautiful golf course and try to attract incredible women with fake cans. And Mary, are there any fake cans in Maryville? I would venture to guess the percentages. No. Not living there. Where. You think there are fake breasts somewhere in Maryvale that live there? I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

I think with maybe all the mess strippers, west side. Yes. Dancers. You're gonna have to have some there.

[John Holmberg]

Even then, they're not living in Maryvale. They're trying to get out the reason they put boobs in in the first place, because they realized there was a way out.

[Brady Bogan]

Seen Bad Barbie?

[John Holmberg]

She's got millions. More than both of us. Yeah. But before that, she didn't have fake boobs. Why?

[Brett Vesely]

I think there's a liquor store on the other corner.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly what it is. It's boys in the hood. Bad Barbie had huge cans when she was 13. She was getting out of wherever she was. Naturally she was on Dr. Phil and people were like, what's going on there? This is girls huge cans. And he'd like.

[Brady Bogan]

I just think it's common now that everyone jumps in on that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think. I don't think Maryvale has anyone there that has them. If they've got them, they're not living in Maryvale anymore. You buy those things to get out of Maryvale. You don't buy fake cans to waste on parading around in Maryvale. You're going to attract Maryvale guys. That keeps you in the exact same spot you put a pair of cans in when you live in Maryville to get out. It's your ticket away. I don't think anyone. I'm going to go out on a limb and say zero. I'm going to say it's 100%. No fake boobs. Live permanently in Maryville. And I'll tell you this. I'll guarantee you this one. Nobody who put fake boobs in did it to move to Maryvale. Nobody said, I'm going to put these cans in. Going to get a nice place in Maryvale. It's not happening. It's just socioeconomically not occurring.

[Brady Bogan]

I guarantee part of town is its west side. Is GCU in that area.

[John Holmberg]

A little further over?

[Brady Bogan]

Further? Yeah, I think it's further.

[John Holmberg]

They're closed. They're close.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, GCU's because.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know a lot. I mean, because you could say that, you know, oh, there's a Tom or a lot more in Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

Fake boots.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

100.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot more.

[Brady Bogan]

But there's pockets in Gilbert that would. You know, I don't spend a ton of time in Maryville.

[John Holmberg]

Of course not. There's nothing to look at.

[Brett Vesely]

Why would you.

[Brady Bogan]

There's some old school cribs over there.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it.

[Brady Bogan]

Is there money in Brady?

[John Holmberg]

Go yourself. Trying to make Maryvale something that places you're talking about. You have.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where?

[Brady Bogan]

Going through Maryville.

[John Holmberg]

We've all driven through it and go, ooh, never coming back here again. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You step on it.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. Yeah. You act. Yeah. It's the. What is wrong with you? I've been to the places I've seen that you haven't stopped.

[Brady Bogan]

You've been everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

You've searched for like a place that'll trade Kung Walk chicken for barbecue sauce. You've tried to find Maryvale's gems. You don't go to Maryvale. Stop it. No, stop it.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't say I go to.

[John Holmberg]

You just did. I've been through Brett. Did he not just say I've been to the places? I go to the places. Come on. You're trying to dress up Maryville and I'm saying there's no fake there because.

[Brett Vesely]

Why would you matter of fact, keep Maryville dressed? I don't want to see.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Even the plastic surgeon said get out. Where? What's your. I see your address is Maryville. It is. Why are you here? Well, I want to improve my look. Are you moving out of Maryville? That. That's a start. Let me save you some money.

[Brett Vesely]

Plastic surgeon. Oh, my God. I got to go to Home Depot and pick up some supplies for this.

[John Holmberg]

That's the thing. Plastic surgery in Maryvale. Okay, I'll change my. No legal implants have been put in like there's been some DIYs done and even then. That's to escape Maryville. Yes. We're being a little rough on Maryville, but you're a little rough on us. Let's Be honest. Maryville is. And again you start looking at it when it all started. Are you looking for how many fake girls are in Maryvale? What are you searching right now?

[Brady Bogan]

Chicken restaurant. What is the town Maryville. Is that named after that?

[Brett Vesely]

I actually didn't. I've heard that. I think it was the guy, John F. Lawn, that was the big guy. Apparently his wife was named Mary and he was the big developer.

[John Holmberg]

He tried.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And for some reason they just blew it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Then Scottsdale, it's a bunch of cheap.

[Brett Vesely]

Houses like once World War II was over.

[John Holmberg]

And then, well, there's your problem. You get what you pay for and you draw in what you do. Put in the word cheap housing, and the next thing you know, people who don't have enough money to put in fake show up, you blast out some high end housing. And this girl's like, this must be an expensive place where I can get a husband that actually has a job. She puts in fake cans, she moves to Scottsdale. That's the key to success. Geographically, topographical maps must include where all the fake cans are. Brady and his Maryvale honeys.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just saying this is not. It's not a no hitter.

[John Holmberg]

There's zero. I just looked it up. Zero percent just looked it up. Now shut the up. It's zero. Well then go over there and try to try to go find some cans. You take this whole week, I'll give you $100,000, you bring me a woman with a job and fake cans who looks like she could fit in in Scottsdale, who's staying in Maryville. She loves it.

[Brady Bogan]

Too many things in there.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Because I'm right. Now find me a woman who looks great with fake cans who's staying in Scottsdale. How hard is that?

[Brady Bogan]

Not at all.

[John Holmberg]

It's all of them. Because that's a destination. Nobody says they put these fake cans in. I can't wait to meet a nice guy here in Maryville. And by the way, I'm never leaving. It's not happening.

[Brady Bogan]

Love this town.

[John Holmberg]

Can't wait to get the out. You wouldn't put fake cans in and then wander around Maryville. You're just going to get the kidnapped. You're going to get killed.

[Brett Vesely]

David said Maryville's the fat girl at the bar at the end of the night.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. Maryvale is the crippled girl with the fat girl that somehow you have to figure out how to load into a van before you can bang the fat girl. It's a bad night. Now John de Pascali has a good point. Maryville has giant natural Mexican breasts over there. That's very true. That's very true.

[Brett Vesely]

With a kid swinging from each.

[John Holmberg]

But if it's a girl. Exactly. And she's only 17. To quote winger. Yeah. It says Andre says GCU is right on quote the blade. Look it up. They don't even call it a boundary or a blade. It's the edge of Maryvale. The blade didn't even call it a boundary. You cross the blade.

[Brett Vesely]

If you live anywhere there's a blade, move immediately.

[John Holmberg]

We got across the blade. Go over to some decent area. Yeah. Thank you. Andrew, you straighten up. Yeah. Nobody goes. I'm getting a little plastic surgery. I'm gonna have my face done, my cans, and I'm gonna move to Maryvale. No, zero. Brady. I'm right. Zero.

[Brady Bogan]

You're right there.

[John Holmberg]

Zero. And yes. Maybe someone who originated in Maryvale, although I think this number may be pushing 0 as well. Has got enough money to get a nice boob job and then move somewhere else. I don't. Or stays there, for Christ's sake. No, you have to get out of there. Go to Scottsdale. Realize, okay, I gotta make some Scottsdale money to fit in here. Doesn't make Scottsdale miss. It does. It does. Gonna say doesn't make it better, but yes it does. A lot. Yeah, this says. What about south Scottsdale? There are drive up liquor stores, sex shops and check cashing places. Sure, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Everyone, every town has its pocket.

[Brett Vesely]

Maryville don't.

[John Holmberg]

Maryville. Even Maryville has a bad pocket.

[Brady Bogan]

Maryville.

[John Holmberg]

There is Maryville. Oh, come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the whole thing's a bad pocket.

[John Holmberg]

There are spots of Maryvale. People in Maryville are like, I'm not going in there. And that's Maryvale talking. Somewhere inside the blades. I never heard of the blade either, but I like it a lot. The blade. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe the blade is a business. You don't cross past the blade or you're in with us normals. Look, Maryville.

[Brady Bogan]

We pull up the most expensive house from Maryville and Zillow.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're going to be a couple that are trying to pretend.

[Brady Bogan]

It's got to be some farmhouses or something.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. It's too centralized. I don't even think they. You're thinking that it's way out there. It's right in the middle, man. There's.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought it's spread out pretty good, but it's.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know where the blades are.

[Brett Vesely]

Pull Up.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the blade. Well, we don't want.

[John Holmberg]

We know. Well, we know an area of blade close to the blade, but I mean, again, it's just that weird. I mean, they're not far apart. How can it look so different? You know, Los Angeles has a load of that. We're like, how can this be five miles from this? You know, it's just a strange way that it all. You know, when the. When the whole thing was thrown out onto the floor, just where they landed was odd. Was. Did Maryville ever have a chance to be the Mecca? No, but it's just because of where it is, which is no different than anywhere else. It's just such a strange thing when you see aerial shots of the city, it's stunning. Scottsdale is just stunning. Everything about it. And I know it's money, but why did money go there and not Maryville? It looks.

[Brady Bogan]

It looks developing and even further west, but that's. You know, then you get to.

[John Holmberg]

It looked the same when it started.

[Brady Bogan]

Web property started.

[John Holmberg]

All that stuff you can camera shoot the same way. Would have all looked exactly the same 80 years ago. All of it. Some reason that looks the way it does. And, you know, it's the plastic surgery of the land. Scottsdale got good plastic surgeons. Maryvale got DIY days in projects going on. Pretty weird. Anyway, Scottsdale, you look beautiful on TV and you're making us look good, but in the end, it's gonna bring more people who live in Maryville. And that's the thing. Yeah. Maryvale is the fat girl at the end of the bar at 2am except when you get to her trailer or her weird apartment, you have to tiptoe through to bang her because you got nine kids, you might wake up. Yeah, that's exactly it. They don't have money for boobs. Their boobs have already been ruined. Maryvale's the place where the girl you banged once text you, I just want to talk. And when she shows up, she's got a shotgun and another guy. The worst part of Maryvale, John, I think we can all agree, the brewers facility. Absolutely. And I don't even know about this, Brett. I don't know that we'll ever learn it. I've never. I'm not going to a spring with all that there is in spring training in Arizona. Why would you go to the stadium in Maryvale when you've got the beautiful talking stick, You've got Camelback Ranch, you've got the Cubby's, Sloan park, all the. And then the one in Maryville Why would you go there? Why? Why? Other than being an awful brewer?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I was asked to go there.

[John Holmberg]

I would have said no. By whom?

[Brett Vesely]

I've been to most parks in the valley. I'm not one I have not been to.

[John Holmberg]

I've been all of them, I think. I don't think the reds one I haven't been to either, but that's fine. It's just too far away. But I've been to Camelback Ranch. I've been to surprise the Reds and Guardians. Yeah, I've been to all the rest of them. I. I will never probably say. And the reason why is I don't want to see the Maryvale lawn sunbathing.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not gonna be fake cans on that one.

[John Holmberg]

It would be more attractive to go up to the Fisherman's Wharf and watch those sea lions sunning themselves in San Francisco. There's a nice $295,000 property Brett's found up there.

[Brett Vesely]

That's our production too.

[John Holmberg]

And it's. Of course, it's behind on payments. So it's nice bread. Is it a nice bread? No, you should drag the family over there.

[Brett Vesely]

Patio furniture in the front yard is what does it for me.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that's the front yard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, you can tell by the.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I guess maybe not set up like the backyard.

[John Holmberg]

It's 1100 square feet. You're not getting much for your money there. Three bedrooms and two baths in 1100 square feet.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, here's the high rent district. I think this is.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, we're up into the four hundreds over there. That's all.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody's trying to redo that.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what? They're. They're over asking to see if they can drive the prices up.

[Brett Vesely]

Price cut was 16k already.

[John Holmberg]

The key to that Zillow moment is to click on look around and then you see the houses next to it. You're like, oh, no, no, no, no. I'm spending 400 grand. I'm not doing it here. Yeah, do the. You're trying to find Google map it. Google map it. And then do a look around. Because when you do the look around the dudes across the street with the west side gang signs and the lokes on and the shirt and they're. They're blurred out faces. Because somehow or another somebody's job at Google's to blur out faces. I'm just saying it's just awfully weird that 80 years ago, the landscape of this place looked pretty much the same. I'll say 100. Because 80 years ago, pretty much the same. And then Scottsdale did what it did and Maryvale did what it did.

[Brett Vesely]

There it was before that.

[John Holmberg]

That's the before. So before the redo. There's the look around. You know, it's okay. But you're still in Maryvale. You're close to the Blade.

[Brett Vesely]

There's a nice.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's the neighbors with the stolen car in the front yard. And then you got those iron screen doors or whatever those things are. To let you know, probably not the best place. You got an iron screen door with a silver deadbolt on top of it. That's just to let people know I'm going to make it. I got to give you two doors to break into to get into my house. How about those Brewers? I bet you that has something to do with free agent signings.

[Brett Vesely]

What, Maryville?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who knows Where. Where do the brewers stay when they're here? I bet it isn't Maryvale.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you they bus in from far out.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I know when the Reds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Bradman just loved the wigwam. He'd stay there.

[John Holmberg]

But did the.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

They all stay there.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm sure the good ones do.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not sure.

[John Holmberg]

He's not even doing games. He's doing one.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no. When he was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, yeah. Spring training, he's maybe covering a couple games, but he's here for a couple of weeks. He's here for. Just to see and hang out. He's got friends and stuff, so he knows the area and he doesn't have to be with the team. You can show up whenever he wants so he didn't have to climb on a bus with the teams. That makes sense.

[Brady Bogan]

But even when he comes out here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's besides the wall. I guarantee you the brewers are not staying in Maryvale. They're outside the Blade.

[Brett Vesely]

Find out where they stand.

[Brady Bogan]

Anyway, it might even be in Scottsdale.

[John Holmberg]

Point being, Maryvale could throw a free golf tournament with the professional golfers. Put up tents and everything else, and you wouldn't see anything close to what you're seeing out there. Scottsdale's the reason why the eye can. I got text last night from my friend and his wife, and they were out at the Bird's Nest, and he said, I hate this country music as much as you, but these broads dress like whores. This is Scottsdale on steroids right now. And I'm like, yeah, Scottsdale. Scottsdale has such a reputation that gamblers with NBA games call it the undefeated city. If in fact and pay attention to this. This is a true statistic. If, in fact, you find out that a professional basketball team is staying here for 24 hours before a game or after, they will not cover the spread in the next game they play. Normally, it's the Suns. So if they show up, let's say they play the Clippers and they bounce over here. NBA teams know, too. Don't leave them in Miami or Phoenix for a day. They. They barely win. Even when the Suns were bad, if a team stayed here for an overnight, the dudes in the team had a day free. They're going to Scottsdale. It's a gambler's phrase. Scottsdale is undefeated. They don't go to Maryvale. And what would happen if we saw that, like, Draymond Green was in Maryvale? I said it would be on the news because he would been busted for doing something wrong. People, what the hell's he doing in Maryvale?

[Brady Bogan]

They'd be still looking for him. We lost him for maybe for a day or two.

[John Holmberg]

Draymond. Draymond crosses the blade, and the next thing you know, and it's in the news. Draymond Green pulled over in Maryvale for speeding. We'd be like, what's he doing in Mary? Go to Scottsdale. That's where the fake cans are. Sorry, Maryville, you're taking a beating, but it's because Brady tried to dress you up. Just like you have valuable people there. Please. There are no fake cans in Maryvale. Nobody ever moves here from Buffalo, sees Scottsdale on TV and gets a place in Maryville and feels like they made the right move.

[Brett Vesely]

Isn't it so lovely?

[John Holmberg]

I love Buffalo, but I moved from Buffalo after I saw Scottsdale on tv and I found a lovely place in Maryville. Oh, my God. Move back to Buffalo. You were in Shangri La. So Scottsdale, you're getting it done. That's all I'm saying. Brady, you go over and all this love your hand in Maryvale, you go. You're never over there looking for houses today. Never over there, Never. Doug Hopkins just called me and said, I'll buy your home. Less it's in Maryvale, no matter what it looks like, except where it is.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't got that $5,000.

[John Holmberg]

Doug will even buy houses in Maryvale. He loves it because all he has to bring is his wallet and $200. I'll take it. You got change for a hundred? Hey, man, that's not right. Hey, I'm inside the blade. You get change. I'm not carrying Cash around here.

[Brett Vesely]

The blade.

[John Holmberg]

Doug Hopkins is not sending. He's not driving into Maryville to look at the house by himself. He's bringing people. He doesn't go look at your house. And Mary, I bet. I would venture to guess that Doug's like, I already need a team of three. Somebody in Maryville wants to sell us their house, and I'm not going in there by myself.

[Brett Vesely]

Can we rent a Brinks truck for the day? We need to get our team in there.

[John Holmberg]

You're the. You're the dude on tv. No, I'm not. Just look like him. No, no, you're the dude on tv. You got all that money to buy houses. I'm leaving.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd love your new jingle.

[John Holmberg]

We're never moving. Why? Because Brady said there's a lot of fake here. I haven't seen them yet. Like an Easter keg hunt. It's an Easter keg hunt for fake cake. No, it's a mirage. Anyway, sorry, Maryvale. But, you know, deep down, you guys know Maryvale.

[Brett Vesely]

Doesn't they want to live there either?

[John Holmberg]

They drive through Scottsdale and go, jesus, what's it gonna take? Tricks. Yeah. What a bunch of rich assholes.

[Brady Bogan]

That's vacation.

[John Holmberg]

Maryvale. People can't afford a vacation in Scottsdale. First off, the gas would kill them. Trying to get there would be hard. That Impala would break down somewhere around, I don't know, 44th Street.

[Brett Vesely]

Anyway, I just thought, they got to clean the monolithia.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, that's true. They.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a good point.

[John Holmberg]

There are a few from Maryville who do see what it's like. They've seen the other side, but they're not taking their Monte Lucia money and putting in fake cans. No, they're feeding their 11 babies. My point being, before Brady ruined it, was that Scottsdale and Maryvale looked a lot alike when it first started. And just the oddness of yesterday, it struck me. The oddness of why one looks the way it does and the other looks the way it does. It's just. It's just happenstance. It's just a. It's so strange. And every major city has that. That this beautiful area that's five miles away. And it's not like Scottsdale's up against some beautiful backdrop. I mean, it's sitting in a nice area. Got Camel, but everybody's got Campbellback. It's in the middle. It's just a strange kind of like, man, this. And it's everywhere. It goes all over. Just weird. It's and even the cruddy parts of Scottsdale. If you have Scottsdale address, your house is worth more just for having the word Scottsdale on an envelope. Ah, this is a good idea. Justin said. How about all these people that want to migrate here from Buffalo or Rochester? We have a law that says all out of towners have to live in Maryvale for one year before they can live in any of the good places. That way they'll know, all right, do I want us? Is this the right place for me? Did I make the right move? I like that. And if they're like, I've got more money than I'm sorry, then put it in. Put it into Maryville. Let's make Maryvale great again. Even though. When was it the Brewers. Those poor players have to go to Maryvale. No wonder. The brewers are pretty good. Every year. None of them are getting drunk and having fun in spring. They're actually playing. They're. They're ready for the season because they actually could focus on baseball. You know, poor Cubs have been out in Mesa, which isn't, you know, I mean, it is. Well, they're new park heaven compared to Maryville. But even the old park was just. Was weird. But they couldn't be. They weren't any good because they weren't having fun. They were just sad. Just old people. The cemetery across the road, they always looked at like, you know, the Giants were always having a good time. All the teams that have been here for a while, they're always just, oh, this is the best. The A's were just crushing for a few years. They're right there in the center of Tempe and Angels. Had some good runs. Poor Brewers. They're just good enough.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, the brewers, they chose to move out there. Remember, they used to be in South Chandler, Wanted to be there.

[John Holmberg]

Could you imagine if the brewers were still in South Chandler? There'd be little. You know who would be great is all those little. The Indians. The Dots. Not the casino would be. They'd start having babies with those ladies out there because they all work at the intel plant. And now you'd have a bunch of cricket baseball players. That would be amazing stadium.

[Brady Bogan]

That little spring training stadium would be so high tech.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, could you imagine what they would build out there?

[Brett Vesely]

And it sat empty for years, too.

[John Holmberg]

Compadre was great.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. They finally just bulldozed it a couple years ago.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna move to Maryvale. No one's ever said that. No. You know what people say? We have to move to Maryvale. Like, usually it's because something horrible's happened. We're gonna get back on our feet, so we gotta move to Maryvale. Maybe the brewers ran into some financial issues. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody made him an offer they couldn't refuse.

[John Holmberg]

That must be it. Yeah, that must be it. Yeah. Anyway, you know, when you're there, too. I drove back on Indian School one time, and I was looking around, I'm like, what happened to the. What happened? And then I'm like, turn right, Brewer Stadium. Like, I'm in Maryvale. The red lights mean nothing to me.

[Brett Vesely]

Here, that's where the cops only pull you over. You don't belong here. Just keep going, get popped.

[John Holmberg]

That's the easy. That's the crime the cops don't have time for. Blow through all the red lights, get out of Maryvale as fast as you can.

[Brett Vesely]

The blade is officially 27th Avenue. Glendale to Thomas.

[John Holmberg]

That's the Blade report.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the Blade.

[John Holmberg]

That's where all the trouble happens, apparently.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, look at that.

[John Holmberg]

Neighbor who the hookers are. That's Maryvale. 27th Avenue's Maryvale. Yeah. Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

But it doesn't go all the way up to Glendale. I guess the Blade is just.

[John Holmberg]

That's the Blade. I like that. Anyway.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. We learned something new today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. This guy said, you nailed it. John Hopkins sends one of his new guys over to Maryville. That's so they can earn their stripes. That has to be your first assignment. Couple Maryvale buys, get out of there.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Thomas.

[John Holmberg]

But again, my point was, there are no fake hands in Maryvale. There's. Even if Brett. You know, let's say Brett was a single fella and came in, man, last night I met the girl in my dreams. Oh, yeah? Where? Maryville. I'm like, all right, Brad, stop it. Tell us the truth. I'm like, no, she's from Maryville and I went to her house. I'm like, you were there. We'd think he's crazy just on that. We haven't seen her, heard her.

[Brady Bogan]

She's living with her parents.

[John Holmberg]

We don't know her name. Of course she's living with her parents and her grandparents and her grandparents in 1100 square feet.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm wearing a long sleeve right now just to cover up the stab wounds and everything else from trying to get.

[John Holmberg]

In here a couple times to get in. But, you know, it's the rite of passage to go to her bedroom. The whole family stabbed you once. Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

John Miller says, true story. Maryville was Once considered the Scottsdale, the west side, I don't know. However, in the 80s there was a cancer scare having to do with the water. People moved out in droves. Then all the homies and gang bangers moved in to those cheap ass houses in the early 80s.

[John Holmberg]

So I lived here in the 80s. So I don't know when it was the Shangri Laska.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't remember that.

[John Holmberg]

But West Valley, maybe. It wanted to be, but it never was.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady, no one has ever said they wanted to retire and move to Mary.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. I don't know what you're thinking.

[Brady Bogan]

I haven't heard that.

[John Holmberg]

You kept trying to sell us that. There's fake cans over there and there is nothing. I'm going Back to my original 00 address of Maryvale. No chance you're putting fake cans in and staying there. No way. In fact, if you're in Maryvale right now and you've got fake cans. Dtoledoey8kupd.com let's see that. Plus let's count the scabs you've picked this morning.

[Brady Bogan]

There's no one up.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point. Yeah, it's disgusting. Gross. Super bowl weekend too. No, nobody's going to a Super bowl party in Maryvale. Those guys are all going somewhere else. It's ridiculous. Maryvale, this guy. I've been to the places, I've seen Maryvale from the inside.

[Brady Bogan]

Now that I know the Blade.

[John Holmberg]

You've never been to. You have never been to 27th Avenue and sure, oh sure, an accident. You've never driven up and down there out of joy or pleasure. It's been either.

[Brady Bogan]

Forced Sunday morning drive, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's forced. Well then you're a john, then. You're looking for hookers and you pay for sex. That's all you just admitted to me. Sure, I've driven 27th Avenue for pleasure. Then you. Then you hire sexual workers.

[Brady Bogan]

Isn't this great?

[John Holmberg]

You do not. You have not and do not drive. 27 Brady would be Clark Griswold.

[Brett Vesely]

Excuse me, Holmes.

[John Holmberg]

Because he's lost. Yes, but if you try to tell me, sure, I've been up and down that road. Why wouldn't I? Well, then you buy sex. You're a sex buyer. You're a john. Silly, silly boy, that one. Anyway, yeah, the Super Bowls here, I'm not getting a lot of hype off super bowl this year at all. Talking to friends are like, nah, there hasn't been anybody going, oh, I can't wait. What do you think? It's just Sort of. I think it's because we just saw it two years ago, same teams. It was here in town last time these two played. So, you know, a friend of mine who has a Super bowl party every year is kind of like, I don't even want to do this, but we have fun. The friends coming. I'm like, yeah. I said, we're not having our super bowl party this year because the Phoenix opens in the way. You know, we have to go up to Phoenix open on Sunday for a big work thing. So it's kind of. Kind of one of those deals we can all do. We'll watch it, we'll pay attention, we'll know who the champion is. But it's becoming sort of boring.

[Brady Bogan]

In a poll, 30% of people said their favorite part is the game. 17% tune in mostly for commercials, which in the most recent years have been kind of disappointing over the overall.

[John Holmberg]

Because we hype up commercials.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The reason commercials will disappoint you is because you have expectations of commercials.

[Brady Bogan]

Sixteen say it's for the halftime.

[John Holmberg]

Kendrick Lamar, will he do the diss track on Drake?

[Brett Vesely]

He has to.

[John Holmberg]

Huge.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But it is. It. It's got the word. Everything Kendrick Lamar has, there's a clean version of it. I. Yeah, with the N word. What's he say instead?

[Brett Vesely]

I can't remember.

[John Holmberg]

But I have it because it is. It starts every line.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I can't remember. I'll see if I can find a clean version.

[Brady Bogan]

2% say their favorite part is the announcers.

[John Holmberg]

That's weird.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, 2%, you got Kevin Burkhart, Tom Brady, and Aaron Andrews and Tom Renoldi.

[John Holmberg]

I think Tom Brady gets too much heat. Everybody again. Everybody wanted Tom Brady to come out and give away every play, every secret, make everyone as knowledgeable as him. All he's doing is watching a game like you are. Tom Brady's been. I'm not a Tom Brady fan, but he's taken a beating for no reason. Oh, he's terrible. He isn't terrible. He's just. He is what he is.

[Brady Bogan]

You expect John, you know, hated person for years while you're playing for a lot of fans because he's so good.

[John Holmberg]

Right. They wanted him to.

[Brady Bogan]

They're going to fall. That's going to follow into whatever he does next.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what they expected from him as a broad. Well, I mean, even people who aren't, like, hating on him, you know, other, you know, outlets are like, well, he's struggling. I'm like, how? Well, he's just not that interesting? Like, who is like. Is Troy Aikman interesting to you on Monday Night Football? No, not at all. Does a good job. Gives you the information. That's all Tom Brady's job is give you the information that you need. John Madden ruined the color broadcasting because he's just different. And everybody expects that to be the fund. Gus Edwards does it. Kevin Harlan's great at play by play. You just have a few guys who are great. Tom Brady falls into the category and it's his first year. He's pretty good.

[Brady Bogan]

It'll be interesting to see what happens because the big talk, you know, that he's been. Can't participate in a lot of meetings because of his ownership.

[John Holmberg]

We'll see how that ends up. But I mean, there are team, there.

[Brady Bogan]

Are broadcasts, million dollar contract.

[John Holmberg]

It sucks with, with like Herb Street, Al Michaels, because Al Michael's so great. Herb Street's just drying paint and he's been, he's been doing it for a long time. So, you know, that's all Herb street is. He's never going to be good. There's bad broadcast teams. Brady's just been like, everybody keeps saying, oh, it's. He's awful.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not 26%. How you open it up. They really don't like anything about the Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this year it's kind of one of those things I think you're just going to watch because it's habit to watch. I think that's the one thing the NFL has us on, is that you kind of feel like you missed something if you didn't pay attention. That's why people who don't follow football at all go to the super bowl party. That's why people, women, you know, everybody gets involved. They don't know anything that's happened to get these two teams here. And they just kind of watch because football is a, It's a holiday. It's a thing America does. It's. It's the way that us atheists still put up Christmas trees. It's just, all right, you'll all participate. And this year is kind of the most. Unless you're a Chiefs fan or an Eagles fan. It's the most drab kind of feeling super bowl there can be.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody's just kind of like matchup. It's already seen it.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great matchup. But we saw two years ago and it's not, it's going to be the same game, but it's just like, oh, these two teams again. Okay. I just didn't. I Just watched this. It's just. It's not an interesting matchup to the rest of the country. Kansas City and Philadelphia.

[Brady Bogan]

What would have been the premium?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's always good. When matchup would take.

[Brady Bogan]

Would be better.

[John Holmberg]

People are tired of the Chiefs. They're bored. So if they win, if there's no. There's no like, oh, my God, what's going to happen. Chiefs might win. Seen that before. Eagles might win. Okay, good. The intriguing match got in Buffalo and Detroit. Got in Buffalo and Detroit would have been the one. And that's a weird thing to say. Those two. Those two cities that would have been an unbelievable matchup for like two teams that have never won the Super Bowl. Two, I mean, one that's never been.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then you got, you know, Josh Allen, who's now the mvp. It's, you know, that would have been the curiosity factors, like who's going to choke, who's going to. Who's going to be the one that, you know, Chief Seagulls both been there. We've seen this. I think it has a lot to do with having seen it. But yeah, I would have loved to have seen the Bills. Bills and Eagles would have been good, but Bill's Detroit, that would have been spectacular. And then you got, you know, the commanders would have been interesting, but I think that would have been a bloodbath. If the Chiefs and commanders played, that would have been. I don't think the commanders could have won anything. They proved it in the NFC Championship Game that they were out of their depth at that point. So anyway, I know everybody's going to watch. Maybe it'll be a great game. Maybe we're all wrong. It would just be fantastic. I mean, we got tired of the Patriots, you know, being there almost every year. And then they put on a couple of the greatest Super Bowls you've ever seen. Both of them with the Giants, the one with the Seahawks. It was just. There were some. But you had a rooting interest and hatred for the evil.

[Brett Vesely]

That's just what I was gonna say. You hated the Patriots, so you watched to root against them. This one, nobody hates anybody really. It's just kind of like. Man.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the thing I've always said, hate, hate, joint. Hate unites so much more than love.

[Brady Bogan]

This is a lover towards the Eagles than anything.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, everybody hates Phillips, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because of the.

[Brett Vesely]

But nobody hates like Jalen, you know, Saquon, really.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, there's no bad guy. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You want to see him? Oh, he's gonna Break some runs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's a Bond movie without a bad guy.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And it's like, oh, the bad guy. Bond movies are not about James Bond. They're about the. The adversary. If it's an uninteresting bad guy, the movie sucks. Bond can't carry a movie by himself. If the bad guy's no good, Bond doesn't matter. It's all up to the Star Wars. We've proven that without Darth Vader, they've struggled mightily to have, like, really interesting. Kylo Ren was the closest.

[Brady Bogan]

Spoiled brat.

[John Holmberg]

Spoiled brat turned into a. And we're like, we don't even like this bad guy. He kind of rooted for Darth Vader sometimes. Like, I want to see more of that guy doing stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Even Rocky, you know, Apollo. Mr. Clubber.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Drago.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you bring in Tommy Gunn.

[John Holmberg]

And it's like, once there was a bad guy you didn't care about, the movie wasn't good. And Sylvester Stallone was smart enough to recognize, you know, the ultimate bad guy in this country, Russia.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

So he fought an entire nation. I mean, it was pretty awesome. When you start thinking about, like. But without a bad guy, nobody. There isn't one. We will be majority People will be happy with whoever wins or not care. And that's kind of where I sit. I'm rooting for a good game. We'll see. But super bowl weekend has definitely got its drop down. Brady's going to Brady's. Throwing a party at a Maryvale bar over there. He knows all of them. Drive them down 27.

[Brett Vesely]

You got fake hands. Get in free.

[John Holmberg]

I've.

[Brady Bogan]

No one chose what happened.

[John Holmberg]

I've been to those.

[Brady Bogan]

John was right.

[John Holmberg]

He says, I wouldn't put it past it. You probably wandered into some weird restaurant that you thought was going to be. He's done that.

[Brett Vesely]

He goes El Centro for tacos.

[John Holmberg]

So he tried to take me to a place for pizza once. And we got to the. I'm like, I'm not going in there. Like, there was roaches waiting to get in before the doors open. Like, I'm not going in there. Come on. I told the guy you'd come. I'm gonna tell him I'm not. And I walked around. I left from the front. I think it's embarrassing. His place is embarrassing.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell him to SME this at Hillstone then, if he wants to see.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's where I ended up going. I went over to Houston's before Hillstone was a thing, for God's sakes. It was so bad. Eric got in the car with me. I'm not going in there either. Let's get a Wake up song. 585 9, 800 a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98K. Uppity Wake Up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio stat. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homburg's Morning sickness online at 98kupd.com thanks Miles to nowhere. People are sending me the Instagram video like crazy now. If that. Oh man, this gets done. And we were joking around about, you know, maybe maybe throwing out some subtle bombs to say, hey, don't come to Arizona. This in the background. Maybe one of these. This kid took it to another level. He's drunk. The Wasted Open is what it's known as. There's no reason to go there unless you're gonna get drunk. If you like golf, plenty of other good places to go. You're just getting in everybody's way. But he got a little too drunk. He's wearing a shirt for a place that probably not too happy. He's. It's a golf course in town. It's a nice place. Hopefully he doesn't work there and wasn't representing. He also has a hat that looks like it's a logoed hat for a business as well. It doesn't have a business, but I've seen that logo before, like a home builder or something. Anyway, he approached, evidently two Hispanic ladies at the Wasted Open and started to spew out some ideas that Hitler had and thought maybe that was a great idea. While the girl filmed him and he watched her film them to tell them what he thinks of advice, their people.

[Brady Bogan]

From the border or at the border now.

[John Holmberg]

Horrible, clearly. Let's look at the bright side.

[Brett Vesely]

Find one.

[John Holmberg]

This is going to go national.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's going to keep some people away. So as awful as this is, it's actually deep down this might be a good thing. We caught one. So think of it this way. Think of it, John. Uncle Johnny's gonna teach you the right way to think. We got one. We wrapped him up. This kid's life's over. It's Instagram over. And weirdly, he didn't post it. He allowed someone else to film it. He says 20 things that got him. He'll never have a job or anything. He's done. And his name's gonna pop out here too. And then expect later today and I was drunk apology. I don't really believe those things going to make it worse. So whoever you are, eyebrow boy, you're done. But after it goes viral, news picks it up. This is what people think. This is what it's like over there. And ah, Buffalo stays home. Philadelphia stays home. Rochester stays home. I go to Arizona. If it wasn't for all the racism. We're not all represented by him, but we have to grit and bear it here. And in a way, this might be a double win. This kid's life's over. Good. We ruined a bad guy. Also kept away some of those losers. This is all good. So I don't condone doing it this way. The horns, you know, that's. This is a fun way to really kind of counteracting each other with that just makes people subtly think of their own problems. And then they dance with that on the news. Couple of protests. Harmless. This kid. Done. And again, the second you start saying Hitler, after you hear the words, hear me out or just wait or you tell someone to be quiet and then you got something to say about Hitler, you're done. You're done. Listen. No, seriously, listen, Hitler, you're done right there. No matter what you say next, you're done. And how you're bringing that up at a golf tournament where everybody's having a good time is beyond me. Shushing people. He also says the N word in it a couple of times. Talking about Mexicans. He's covering it all.

[Brett Vesely]

He wanted to cover all bases.

[John Holmberg]

He nailed them.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody was overserved.

[John Holmberg]

He might. Look you, I'm going to tell you right now, at the waste. The Wasted Management Open, they give you, if you're in one of those tents, you have a wristband where you get 10 drinks. You're overserved before you get there. That's for sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it that many?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Let's band.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but let's be honest. When we were there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they don't pay attention.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you start throwing that tip down, she kind of scans over the brick. Oh, yeah, there you go. I clicked it.

[John Holmberg]

You know, there's ways around.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, 100.

[John Holmberg]

You really don't need to go. I only have 10. Right. That's not. That shouldn't be going through your head. Just 10 per person. That's double what you actually should be doing. It's pretty, pretty amazing.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, we were going up there with people that didn't have wristbands on. Shake. Okay, here you go.

[John Holmberg]

Now expect an apology and a dis. Like distancing themselves from this kid once. This. This is going to take. This is going to take crazy fire. Because it is. It's interesting to people that this. This type of person actually exists. And he walked up to them to tell them his thoughts, and he looks like, you know, he's probably about 22, 23. Looks like a complete punk, terrible human being.

[Brett Vesely]

But we can't even play any of it on because every other word is.

[John Holmberg]

If it keeps people from wanting to move here, it's going to serve a purpose. The purpose also served as he and his stupid friends will now be pariahs in and amongst the community, which is fantastic.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't know any of them. That was just a solo.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're all nobody. Because people even asked while the. While the video's rolling. Like, there's. There's the scroll of comments and somebody goes, where's this guy's friends? Good thing pulling them off. He doesn't have any. He doesn't have a single friend, so they hate him too. They let him. They let him fall on his own racist sword. Pretty outstanding work. There'll be a name attached soon. Said bad problem is people that think Arizona's racist might stay away, but that will bring more racists in. Here's the thing I think about racists, though. I think they're entrenched where they live. I don't think they're Mobile, you know, Georgia, Alabama, they like it there. They want their message to spread, but they're not getting up and spreading it. They're in and amongst their own already. They don't. They don't want to find out they're wrong. Move to a city that, oh, this is great, everybody thinks, and then find out, oh, I'm an outcast. They like in the pockets of Georgia and Alabama and Mississippi, where they are, what they are and they're safe to be. Proud to be there and proud to be there and be that they're not leaving. They're the ones who stand outside and fight the Confederate flag. They want it. So I don't see racists, like, being, you know, a city's not right for me. If they're comfortable being racist where they are, they're not moving. Now, if they're racists, fish out of water, they're in a city that they'll come here and feel the exact same way. So I hope you're wrong. But there's plenty of racists that still are here now, clearly. And if you're going to find them anywhere, usually it's a golf course. I mean, that's pretty safe place to find if you're looking for racism. It's. It's good at it out there at the, the links are good at racism. I always go back to this. If you think golf isn't the most racist sport that's ever been invented. When a black guy started to win, they dug up all the golf courses and changed them and they called it Tiger proofing. They didn't even hide it. We're going to Tiger proof these. We don't like that he's winning and like the guy, he's too good. Put a tree where he hits the ball every time. And they did. They would plant giant trees where Tiger could hit it or trap or a trap or something like he. Tiger tends to hit it about this far. Put it, put something horrible here. We'll call it Tiger proofing. Because he's so much.

[Brady Bogan]

Most of the time was to make it longer so they couldn't.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Instead of celebrating that you had a Babe Ruth type player in your sport, they tried, they tried to wreck Augusta. The most hallowed grounds of golf. They're like, dig up some of this and start some of these holes over. Tiger's too good at this. When he was like 22 and was 19 under the records for that blonde.

[Brady Bogan]

Hair, blue eyed guy.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Yeah. We got. Jack would be very upset. Still alive. And so he'd be very upset at the idea that this is happening. So if you're looking for racism, look no further than the 18 of any place. It's pretty much a guarantee you're gonna find one. This is an extreme case. But. And I don't even feel sorry for. That's just a dumb person. Oh, and to me, where are his friends? Where are those girls friends? Where's the chingazos flying towards him? That, that's, that's a punchable offense. Like that's. He's threatening, he's horrifying like somebody should have.

[Brady Bogan]

And the girl that filming is going to be more damaged.

[John Holmberg]

10 times more. But the, the girl posting it said, I always wondered what I would do if I was confronted with a situation like this. And I, I just froze. I couldn't believe it was happening. He brings up Hitler a few times.

[Brett Vesely]

It almost seems fake.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That's how bad he's rattling off stuff.

[John Holmberg]

He would not do that.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I know. But for her standing there, it would almost seem like fake. Like this is a setup, just a joke from her. Nobody is this bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When does someone reveal that this is the joke? Yeah. But it's not. And the kid walked away from the table and she posted everything and went, this just happened. Yeah. You're not going to go out and go. I'll play the role of that guy. And people will understand in the end that it was, no, you're done. Which makes me wonder how Kendrick Lamar is going to. How many people are going to get canceled at the super bowl singing along with Kendrick songs at halftime?

[Brett Vesely]

You're going to see a bunch of white people looking around.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's going to be. There's going to be drunk people by halftime at house parties who know Kendrick's music. And somebody's going to be filming the house party. Yay. We're having fun. Kendrick Lamar's. And look, everybody at my house. And you'll see a couple of white people singing every word out loud. And don't. Kendrick doesn't shy away from that big one. He likes it.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't film Kirby during the house, everyone.

[John Holmberg]

Because you'll get us fired. Yeah. For your racist house party that you're going to have with Kendrick, because I'm.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure she knows all the Tyler the Creator songs. So, I mean. And that's.

[John Holmberg]

Kirby knows. She's. She knows them waving smoke out of there like Cheech and Chong and singing all the Kendrick Lamar stuff. But it's. That, to me, is dangerous. Like, I'm. Zip it. Don't sing along if. And don't film the house parties this weekend.

[Brady Bogan]

And nothing has changed. Been that way since the 90s, since chronic, since.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I know, we do, too.

[John Holmberg]

It's changed.

[Brett Vesely]

But you do. With your windows up, you used to.

[John Holmberg]

Be able to sing along. You got a little nervous, but you'd sing along and not worry about losing your job.

[Brady Bogan]

But you.

[John Holmberg]

I would sing anyway. Never bothered me. Like, you. If the song had it in it, you would sing along and not worry about, like, if somebody sees me singing the lyrics of another person, I'm not gonna lose my job. Now you can lose your job for just singing along. That one girl got on stage with. I don't remember if it was Drake or whoever. And he sang. She sang the song. He called her up on stage and he said, no, no, no, no, no. He told her, you can't do that. You called me up to sing along.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she, like, got kicked out of college. Yeah. Back when the. The Chronic was out, white people were. Were fine singing it. And then eventually people were like, eh, knock it off. You're too comfortable with this. I'm like, what do you mean we're comfortable? It just flown out of you way too easy. Put up some barriers around that word for you again.

[Brady Bogan]

2 Live Crew took to the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, but Whitey was singing along. No. Probably.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Back in the early 90s. The Chronic, my God, knew every word. Laughing at doggy style, that whole thing. I mean, constant. But then somewhere around 2017, 2016, it started to become your ass. Your job's going away. If you're just having a good time at a concert, don't do it. When Kendrick sings. And I don't know how they're gonna. I don't know how they're gonna. I don't know what word he's gonna use to replace how often he says the bomb. Because he says it a lot. You're gonna have. You know that song that just won all the Grammys. All of them. N word. N word. N word. It's the song of the year.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

According to the Grammys. The music industry said it, which still makes me laugh because the whole show was about, you know, not being divisive, Unity, love, caring about each other. And then record of the year. Kendrick Lamar. It's the hate song about Drake. Loaded with racial track. It's a diss track loaded with racial slurs. Even a couple of rappers told Kendrick this week, they're like, you shouldn't. You shouldn't do it for halftime. That's enough damage done. And he's like, no, no. He said, okay. But yesterday at the. The media day, the halftime, media day thing, when they introduced Kendrick Lamar to the media and all the people there at the party, his walk up music was that song. And I don't believe it was edited. It was pretty awesome. And maybe my mind just hears the bad words, but I'm pretty sure it was because as it is as an edited song for radio or for broadcast purposes, they just blank it out. Yeah. They didn't add a new word or do a secondary cut.

[Brady Bogan]

So the halftime could be muted on tv.

[John Holmberg]

Be a lot of it's gonna sound like somebody's getting Heimliched crazy already. I'm hearing that the employer has. They identified the man on the video and fired him immediately. Made a statement on Instagram, also posted that video. He's a douche and he is done. How about that? We have identified the individual and terminated employment. This behavior is abhorrent, in no way reflects the values of our brand. So he worked at Vivint. I've seen that, but I don't know what it is.

[Brady Bogan]

Security. I think home security.

[John Holmberg]

This is dude's job. Life, career, reputation and future were all cooked. Reality strikes you imagine being that kid's. And that's the thing. If it doesn't Go away. You think you can delete it? It'll keep showing up. That is the herpes of life and the Internet. Yeah. Some girl says, you know, when I get intoxicated, the worst thing I do is usually text a guy who doesn't want me. I don't go full. Full blown racist murderer. Because he does also talk about murdering people at the border. His solutions are not good. This kid's done. We'll have a name before the end of the show. Not necessarily that we'll throw it out there, but he's. It's crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm surprised we don't already, to be honest.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, be honest. Would you rather play nine holes at Augusta with Tiger 18 with John Daly here in Phoenix? Both of those would be really great options. I think I would play nine with Tiger because I'm on Augusta. Walking Augusta would be pretty amazing. Especially could I do both. I want both. There's no question I would want both. John 18 with John Daly at Shalimar would be awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Just do two nines. Oh, man. Just an. Here was. Here's what I want. I want to play golf with Tiger woods at Augusta. I just want to hang out. I'll go to a movie with John Daly. Miniature golf with John Daly. Augusta and Tiger together. That's like. You know, people have paintings of that when someone dies. That a guy going to heaven, and that's what he's doing. He's walking along Augusta with Tiger because that's. That's Valhalla. Me watching Smokey and the Bandit in my house, just cooking a bong with John Daly. That's. I want to do that. I don't even smoke weed, but I'll try it. Yeah, it's. It's a thing, man. That would be. Just thinking about that. Pretty amazing. Anyway, good luck to Kendrick, Good luck to all you people at your house parties this weekend with a couple Mick ultras or high noons in your belly.

[Brady Bogan]

Stay tuned for a couple more videos from the Waste man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, there'll be a few more.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Singing along to Kendrick Lamar this weekend and the Waste Management Open. Just go see Nickelback tonight. Keep it safe. I love this Kendrick Lamar song. Oh, my God. We're have so much fun.

[Brady Bogan]

Gonna go to jail.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna have a time. Honey, what are you doing? Stephanie, Doug is filming this. That just went out on Facebook live, you guys. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Doug, you have to take it down. It's too late. It was live. IG live. Baby sour. Oh, it's already on the news.

[Brady Bogan]

I like that.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna be rough, but have fun with that one. Be smarter. Good lord. I also. Oh, God. Did you guys see Bill Belichick walk into that NFL honors last night?

[Brett Vesely]

I just saw you when you showed me the picture.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. So his 24 year. So Bill is living the life. He wore all eight Super bowl rings, or I think he's got 10. So he wore. Every finger has a ring on it. He's got. He's got seven with the. He's got six with the Patriots and two. He's got eight. Two with the Giants, six with the Patriots. He had eight rings. All none for the thumbs. All of his super bowl rings are on. He's in his red Patriots retired jacket. He's got his arm around this 24 year old fitness model. It is. And he's on the red carpet.

[Brady Bogan]

Show me a pic.

[John Holmberg]

Just smile. You can't wait until you see what she wore. And the. I believe Bill has reinvented the eating grin, because it is. You have to imagine that this girl will take that sequined beautiful thing off of that toned body and Bill Belichick will then strip down into the doughy 75 year old muck that he is, pop off all eight of his rings, put his hands on both their knees, move him aside and drop Belichick face right down in the center of that thing, right between the. Like he's the quarterback and center exchange. And that mountain of blob and that specimen of humanity will then enter the throes of lovemaking. I can't help but think about it.

[Brady Bogan]

Our daughter looks fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

Her parents are younger than me, and I watched the video where Bill introduced himself to those two people, and I believe it was on a yacht. That's the way to do it. If you're gonna win over the 48 year old mom and dad when you're in your 70s, you better have a yacht nearby that's yours. And they seemed thrilled with it. But I mean, come on, think about it. Seven, eight years from now, Kirby rolls up, she's there with Andy Reid. You can see that. You could see why. You could kind of see that this is a thing. Andy's 75, she's 24. You and Andy meet, and you're gonna be all smiles. This is awesome. You love my daughter, huh? For some reason, she loves me. Yeah. I kind of have an idea why. She. She might have some daddy issues here, but this is a good thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Boguruski.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yep. I'm taking her name.

[Brett Vesely]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. That's the picture of Bill Belichick with his angel last night. Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

It looks like she has one.

[John Holmberg]

She's probably.

[Brett Vesely]

I think she is.

[John Holmberg]

She's wearing one of his. No, he's got eight. I know he's got eight, six and two. What that is is probably his hall of fame retirement thing from the Patriots because they put him in the ring of honor.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a good looking couple.

[Brett Vesely]

Nice kill.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that face though. Bill Belichick smile.

[Brett Vesely]

He's just smirking at everybody else. Go. Look what I got. I found your Grace Wets broad.

[John Holmberg]

Bill has a 1970s comb over. He's. This is the most. The Super Bowls are.

[Brady Bogan]

His teeth are yellow.

[John Holmberg]

Winning six Super Bowls, are they?

[Brett Vesely]

It doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter. He has to. Winning six Super Bowls is less impressive than what he's doing here. And it's not her age. Although that plays a factor because you're like, why? It's that she is capable of getting anyone she wants. So this is less about money and stuff because that girl right there can get a modern day athlete who probably has more money than. Than Belichick. She likes him. Like there's a real something going on there.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but she's gonna die. He's gonna die before a Patrick Mahomes or a Travis Kelsey type thing.

[John Holmberg]

True. So she's gonna get well. Will she be in the will though? He's not that dumb.

[Brady Bogan]

Belichick is not gonna learn as much as she can. She will get somewhere eventually.

[John Holmberg]

Or onto the pearly gates. I'm gonna have to tell you that I pretty much locked out of the will there.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't forget Anna Nicole Smith.

[John Holmberg]

Anna Nicole Smith found a guy and then got contested and she ended up getting nothing. She was hoping to change the game.

[Brett Vesely]

She didn't get anything.

[John Holmberg]

No. If in fact. Well, she didn't get anything. She spent all that money and then started boning the lawyer trying to get the money for this one here. She likes Bill Belichick. She could be doing this to anybody. Much richer men and Belichick's well off, but much richer men and less high profile to where she could do this in on the sly and kill an old man for his money. Quietly. She's out there. She's getting attention. She's. I mean, she's getting a career from this. She's gonna. People are gonna take pictures of her and give her money. And Belichick is like, I'll do it. And by the way, his son, he's got his own, his boys. He doesn't have a wife anymore. Who's he leaving his money to? Why not leave it here? And if strikes Belichick strikes me as the type of guy that looks at his kids in the eye and goes, go get your own. And he's not gonna leave any money in a will. You deadbeats go get a job. I earned this myself. It's going to her. And it might piss them off, but come on. Even Steve Belichick and his horrible mullet understand what dad's up to.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd love to see the. The get together with the Sabins.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. So how are you two doing? I think Nick's got one too, though, doesn't he? His is like 40.

[Brady Bogan]

I think he still has.

[John Holmberg]

Does he still have his wife, the O.G. no. That's unfortunate.

[Brady Bogan]

I know, considering.

[John Holmberg]

Considering what his mentor is doing. You think she's not on pins and needles? She's probably.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe you're right.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe if Saban's still with the woman he's been with the whole time, and she sees his mentor, Bill Belichick, doing. He's doing that. She's got to be the. I bet you she turned into the best wife in the world when Belichick rolled that in. It's my new girlfriend. She's one getting off the yellow school bus over there. And take her out tonight for some Chuck E. Cheese and maybe a little mini golf. You guys want to go? I don't like Bill's new girlfriend, Nick. I do, and you better step it up or else. That's an impressive thing. I mean, it's. It's amazing. There's no words. I hated the evil empire for so long, but if Darth Vader rolled up with the hottest girl in Tatooine, you'd have to tip your cap, you know, Especially Anakin had took the hat off and became a good guy again. And he rolls out with this. You're like, you know what, Belichick? You've earned this, and I'm proud of you. I don't know what his ex wife. Did she die? No, that was Kraft's wife. Belichick just got divorced. Where's she?

[Brady Bogan]

Saban's wife, I think, is 54 years.

[John Holmberg]

Old, and he's like 70 something. Yeah, all right, 19 years. That, at one point, was impressive. Now Belichick up the ante. Nick, I bet you can't get one younger. You'll see about that. Watch this, Bill. You and Bill have this game. I don't like. She I. That 54 year old lady is 30 years older and turning it on at home because she's about to lose that Saban. And I guarantee you, when Nick Saban got her, if it was 30 years ago, he was still riding high. She's got paperwork, so she only gets a little bit of it. So if she wants to keep all of it, she's got to do some serious tap dancing for the Sabin. Look at that face.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll bet she knows the Kendrick Lamar songs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Bill's gonna be trying to sing along.

[John Holmberg]

All he's doing is smiling. That smile is just the worst. Ugh.

[Brady Bogan]

It's evil.

[John Holmberg]

They say only the good die young. Bill Belichick's gonna live forever.

[Brett Vesely]

Him and Keith Richards.

[John Holmberg]

He's evil. Everything he does is just to pour salt in an already wide open cut to all of humanity. That little troll has conquered and dominated every single thing about being a human. Look at him.

[Brady Bogan]

He's cheating in life.

[John Holmberg]

It's not fair. Where are the tapes? There's something he's doing. He's got some. I give her a magic elixir and every morning she's been hypnotized to believe that I'm. I'm 31 years old. Oh, maybe that's it. Maybe he's got the serum and turns her back into this. And that's why you only see her every few weeks. It's like that movie with Demi Moore. She goes has to shoot up young juice and die in the bathroom while her young body goes out and parades around. Maybe that's what Bill's done. He's got. He's got scientists on this. The last thing we're gonna see with Bill Belichick is him in Sweden accepting his Nobel prize for science. He figured out how to another ring for once a week instead of a period. Once a week a woman turns into a 24 year old supermodel. And then you don't see her for three. You don't see her a lot. Remember on Halloween when he was sitting there pretending to be a fisherman and she was dressed as a mermaid?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And Pat McAfee said, sorry, you went fishing out there on Halloween? Yeah, I caught a big one. Like, oh, you're rubbing it in. But then you don't see him for a few weeks. So maybe there, maybe she goes back into that decrepit nightmare like the lady from the bathtub in the Shining. Like there's some sort of magic that we all see this, but deep down she's really just some ancient troll. You know, Greek mythology. Monster that when it shows up, looks beautiful. But, you know, maybe we'll find out. That picture dressed her up as a high end mermaid. That wasn't a cheap costume. He went out and bought himself a windbreaker and some boots.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that was directly from Splash. I mean, look at that.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, she's more than happy to don the glorious mermaid outfit, lay by the ocean so Bill can pretend he caught a mermaid and then show all of us. Life's working out, Craig, for me. How you doing? Meanwhile, you know, all of our wives are sitting there looking at their shirts, pulling them out and then putting them in their mouths because they're biting off that piece of pizza they dropped. Go ahead, Brady. Go home today and say I bought you a mermaid costume. I'd like you to lay by a lake and act like I caught you. You. That's all you'd hear. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that a yes or a no?

[John Holmberg]

You. Yeah. All right, then I'll just go in the room and watch some more Hitler.

[Brady Bogan]

History.

[John Holmberg]

In my own room because I'm not allowed to watch a big TV anymore. None of us are getting that deal done. Wanna dress as a mermaid and pretend I caught you near magic? No. Okay. I just thought I'd call. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, no.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, you pick up tampons on the way home. You got it. I'll do that. Bill's.

[Brett Vesely]

She still.

[John Holmberg]

That is. That is one thing. Well, maybe. Maybe she's that magic. Maybe it all fell out.

[Brett Vesely]

The serum, man.

[John Holmberg]

You imagine if she's also sterile? The serum. The serum would make it. So he's in his mad laboratory that also has to make sure that her ovaries don't shed. Anyway, make sure there's no periods. He's weird science. He built her morning sickness 98 KUPD Holmberg's morning sickness. And then paraded her around the NFL Honors last night. And nobody's talking about Josh Allen winning the MVP award last night, which was kind of like, oh, did he? Yeah. Lamar didn't get it. Josh got it. Now the only thing you see is Bill Belichick. In fact, I think Josh Allen thanked Bill Belichick last night. He's like, I just want to thank Bill Belichick for bringing her to the party. And I'll never forget this night for two reasons. Now, Key Custer says, yeah, you keep saying that there's a serum and you don't see this girl a lot. Well, there's a reason why she still has school and a curfew. That's true. She can't be out late. He had to leave the awards show early last night.

[Brett Vesely]

Street lights are on.

[John Holmberg]

Met her on an airplane. She likes him. Women hate this, but she likes him. And he probably, you know, people. Somebody said that to me. It was. What do you think it was? My friend's wife. Why did. What do you think they have to talk about? Like, Bill Belichick made it. Made a 50 year career out of communicating with 25 year old men. And beautifully. 25 and younger. He knows how young. Yeah, yeah, he knows how to talk to young people.

[Brady Bogan]

He motivated her.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he made her a better player. Maybe he whiteboarded up some stuff and she's like, this all makes sense. This is a good plan. So what does he have to talk to her about? I don't know. He's been communicating with the youth for a long time. Brett, take your hat off again. Okay, for a second there, you had Bert's hair from Sesame Street. He did. It was all standing straight up. I'd never seen that usually have a hat on. Anyway, decided to throw that out there also. Another fear unlocked. Remember a few months ago I told you guys about public restrooms, toilet rolls, and how even in nice places, drug addicts were taking their needles and stuffing them into the side of the toilet roll and cleaning them off. They did a thing based on that? Kind of. They talked about it again on this news thing I was watching. I found this on the New York Post, did the whole article. Another horror revealed about toilet rolls in public. The New York Post, which is New York City, is telling people, bring your own wet wipes. Bring your own toilet paper with you at all times. Because this is a thing they sprayed. It's like a luminol thing. If you watch a lot of murder shows, you know what that is. Cops will go into a room, they think it's a crime scene, and they spray this luminol all over and then turn the lights out. Anything that was blood glows if luminol touches it. And sometimes in a murder scene, the room looks fine. Luminol hits the room, they go back in there, turn the black light on, and the place would be covered in blood. It's where blood has been cleaned, right? So they go in there with a similar product and spray it on the toilet paper rolls in public restrooms. And it. They don't need a black light. It just turns blue where there's blood and urine. It is all over every single toilet paper roll in every single nice, bad, good. The silver ones that were covered, you know, you feel like you've got them.

[Brady Bogan]

In those that have a lock on it.

[John Holmberg]

That have locks. Some of it still. Almost all of them covered in blood and urine. But you can't see it. It's just particles. It's just because the urine will dry on. And it's mostly the sides, like the edges, the outer side, the puffy part. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So if you take the little roll, it's not that much on there.

[John Holmberg]

You're still rolling this out. You're still going after that.

[Brett Vesely]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

You still are wiping up because you're.

[Brady Bogan]

I think the first time they did it, it was in the UK and the public.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they did the thing in the side and it was needle.

[Brady Bogan]

It was up there.

[John Holmberg]

The needle. 60% of the stations tested were clean needle blood.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it says. The investigator said this can be anything with that light blue liquid. Is blood or urine. Anything someone has decided to put on the side of the toilet paper roll. They think it's intentional. In a lot of cases you're using it because you don't see it if it's on the sides. And a lot of times that's where it lands. It splashes back. So it's in perfect spot. The majority of the stuff they found was on the sides of the toilet paper roll, not on the front of it. Which led them to believe that it is an intentional thing. Or the people who put it on there have it all over their hands and are holding it on the side when they put it on the. On the roller stick. So new fear unlocked there as well. And mainly for women. And if you're out at the Phoenix Open. Do they even have toilet paper rolls up there? Do you bring your own to the port?

[Brady Bogan]

They have those trailered portage.

[John Holmberg]

I know that, but are there. Where's the toilet? Pretty sure there's way up high. You should have to stand.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, they do the best they can. That's even the public. So they try to put it in a locked case.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But even then they're fine. That's what the thing. Last night they were like, we're every single public. It's not stopping anything from. There's so much urine spray and God knows what else that it's just floating around the room while you're in there. Anything. And so that's why. And what was weird was the. The walls and stuff didn't have a ton. It was where your hands go. Because the bottom of that locked case is the roll itself. Yeah. It's not covering the whole thing. Usually. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That research has to be doing that because why not pull out a little roll and then clean off your needle or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. Well, the needle thing is definitely. They're doing that on purpose. This is just pee and blood.

[Brett Vesely]

If you're going to the open, just eat a block of cheese before you go, plug yourself up, and then cork it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, ladies, bring a bottle or a bucket. It's safer. Have your own wipes in your. You're gonna have to have your seats. And that's the other thing. Ladies know what you're getting into here. Smallest bag you've got. Don't even risk it. They said 8 inches, so this one's 9. I'm like, you're going back to the car. Well, it's nine inches. How they're gonna let me in? No, they're not. And I'm gonna have to buy a plastic bag for you to dump all your stuff in and it'll fit. What happened to the other nine plastic bags you have at home from all the events we've been kicked out of? I was up there in Vegas with my friend Mark and his wife. She brought a bag too big. Vegas has a building in the parking lot just for purses to lock up. They charge you 10 bucks to get in, and then you pay to put a person locker. Then you get a ticket, hold your purse, and you go. And you have to. You can't have it with you. And if you have anything going in, it's got to be in a clear bag. The line to get into Allegiant stadium in Vegas was forever. And then we noticed, like, there's an awful lot of people walking away and going over to that building. There's only one. So if you're on the other side of the building, Charlie, you gotta walk all the way around the stadium, Go to this little facility Line going to that place was insane. They're making a killing on telling ladies you can't bring your purse in. And they still bring them. If you have a girl today and you're going to the Phoenix open, say, what is in your purse that you need? My chapstick. My tissue. I just need stuff. My wallet. You don't need any of that. You're leaving that in the car. I don't know what I'll do without this. Besides that. It's a really nice purse. No, you're doing it so people see that you have a nice purse. Okay. No. And put it down. And you know everybody else is going to be paying for you. Keep your purse in the car. Clear.

[Brady Bogan]

Fanny pack.

[John Holmberg]

You got yeah, put a fanny pack on. Wear a shirt with pockets. Bring your chapstick. Bring the necessities. But it's not our fault that you're wearing pants so tight. Or a skirt that doesn't have pockets. Figure it out. Or bring the smallest little bag you've got. Well, nothing worse than seeing that argument too, with a guy and his wife. I told you what's in there. That. What? Shut up. I just need my stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

It's all straps. And then there's 4 inch square backpack.

[John Holmberg]

A little tiny one with a bunch of toilet paper in it. But ladies, I'm with you on this one. You're going to need your purse today filled with toilet paper. Horrifying. See? And this says, see, John. That's how Ken and his wife got hep C. It was the toilet paper. It wasn't from gulping. Yeah, maybe. Maybe Ken's got a new argument. It wasn't from all that down low anal sex he was having with guys on the streets over by the Blade. It was, you know, dirty toilet paper. It's gross. And something I'm going to talk to Tripp about later today that I saw. A lady in the United Kingdom has noticed that every one of her employees on a questionnaire she gave them claimed that they were anxious 100% of their work day. The anxiety levels were through the moon. And she said that she'd noticed. I think she's a clinical psychologist or something and she's running some business. She's got her degree in that. She said people's mental health is not so great. And so she implemented a thing at work about a year ago called masturbation breaks. 30 minutes you got. Besides lunch, you got 30 minutes a day. If you're feeling anxious, go rub one out. She's noticed that the anxiety levels at her work are almost zero because there's nothing that brings you back down to comfort quite like an ice tug. And she said that all the people at her work are now feeling like this is a good thing. And they asked the people at work, it's like, is it okay? And she said. And they were like, you know what? It has helped. Whether I do it or not, I still get 30 minutes to decompress a day. It says most people would like to lap up any extra breaks in their workday as possible, but how about a half an hour off for the purpose of self pleasure? It's a permanent policy at her firm, started in 2022 and she just implemented it. So notice that nobody used it at first. Like this. Is silly. And then they were just allowed to go for 30 minutes. She's from Stockholm, Sweden. Now, her company that she started, even though her degree is in psychiatry and psychology, is she provides content for adult cinema. Oh, well, that's not so bad.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that's not much of a stretch in that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're not jerking off at work. You're still not allowed to do that.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought they get a break.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they do now. No, I'm saying, I'm saying you're acting like that was going to happen. No way.

[Brady Bogan]

But I think that's not that far of a stretch in that, you know.

[John Holmberg]

But why not? Why not implement it? We're in high stress jobs. Fishermen, you know, construction guys are sitting high up.

[Brett Vesely]

Sales people.

[John Holmberg]

Sales people. How much tension downstairs would be relieved if a boss came up and said, hey, Jill, what's wrong with you? I don't know. I'm just under a lot of pressure and Susan yelling at me all day long and I can't take it. All right, all right, Jill, let's go into the bathroom and rub one out. Fiddle that bean for 30 minutes. Come back here when you're a little bit more calm.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just hard to.

[John Holmberg]

I could do it. I could do. I could do this, but I could be this. But hey, Eric would still be here. All right, all right, all right. Calm down. Get in there and jerk off real quick. Come back here when you're. When you're suitable for the business. All right, everyone. There's a lot of tension in the room right now. I'm not enjoying the. The bottom line. Our revenue is down. You're all acting like a bunch of. Let's just all put sheets over our heads and rub our beans for a little while and come back here in an orderly fashion where we're all relaxed and a little bit more clear headed. I'm doing it now.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you get that added in your contract?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. Finally. I might have to add that in there. You walk by Tripp's office, that glass wall, so stressed out. Yeah. All right, I'm ready to discuss the next thing. Send in Kevin Rowe. Hi, Kevin. Let's talk. Sorry I didn't wash my hands.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Spider webbed you a little bit there.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's not all porn, Brady. I used to do it all the time when John Madden Football came out and the PlayStation, when that thing would get me all tense and rub one out. Go back to the video game. Just fine. It became part of playing video games. Grand Theft Auto. The first few missions are pretty easy. Call of Duty, first few missions, you get through, then it starts getting high stress. Ah, I gotta get past that stupid level. And you start losing your minds. All right. I think all I have to do, James Bond. After that, I just have to get around this corner. Yeah. All right, love. I'm ready to go again. Where's this horse we're looking for? Oh, it's right over there. How I miss that every time. Because your brain doesn't work. So, yeah, I think that's a good thing. And I could definitely do it. We've seen it downstairs. We have absolutely not. People doing. Oh. People who use it quite a bit, but. Jesus. People who could use a tug.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

A few times. Jesus Christ. Hey, Susan, get in there and rub that bean and make sure that you come back here normal. You're acting like a lunatic. Sorry, Emma. I didn't even realize it. Yeah. Here. Here's a little KY Jelly. Go crazy and come back when you feel better. Thanks, Tripp. I really needed this. I know.

[Brett Vesely]

Then she'll really be saying, it's our turn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's exactly it. She'll be shouting her catchphrase. I'm sorry. How about just. In the meetings, I think this just. I'm sorry. I have to go rub one out. I'll be right back. It would lessen tension, intense work environments. We don't have a very tense work environment. Sometimes ladies, you know, halftime. I think when they storm out of here crying, that's what they go do. You see a lot of ladies getting pressured, and you see a few of the sales ladies have left this place. That's it. They pack up and they storm out, tears falling down their eyes, run to their cars. Maybe they just go over there by Papago and scrub a dub dub and then come back. Sorry about that, everyone. I. I just needed a minute. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Brett Vesely]

So basically, you're saying they should turn Weaver's old office downstairs into a beat room or what?

[John Holmberg]

It's that new Nick guy's office.

[Brady Bogan]

How does it work?

[Brett Vesely]

Layla's got her old office. Is there.

[John Holmberg]

That's where that guy's sitting.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

But we do have. I'm pretty much all taken there. Trying to think of a nice, quiet place. You could.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, the shower bathroom downstairs.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. Got a drain. That's the one. That's the new beat room.

[Brett Vesely]

And you can clean up when you're done.

[Brady Bogan]

Nothing like rolling downstairs. And there's a line.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the beat laboratory. Hey, what you doing Taylor? I got a lot of bad calls. I gotta. Who's in there? Moynihan again? Dude's feeling a lot of tension. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what Moynihan sounds like? Any organ, really. Go on, explain yourself. That's your impression of Moynihan? I had Moynihan totally different than you. Yeah, I think Moynihan would be more like, oh, daddy said it's wrong. Like that kind of thing. I think there's like, some sort of tension from the past that comes out.

[Brett Vesely]

Her and Ed are fighting for line space and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Like. And then this is just. I would go in there and joke around, just, like, shout stuff. So much blood. No, Ed. Like, my fantasy is Ed. Oh, Edward. Yes. I'm not even in there. I'm so sorry, but.

[Brady Bogan]

We're so sorry.

[John Holmberg]

You could. You could cut detention at work. You could do. It says, wow. And people already don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. Get ready for some sticky doorknobs. Well, maybe we would make that a thing where they shame you, where you go into the beat laboratory and then when you come out, it's a wide open sink. So every time you come out of there, you know those bathrooms where the sinks are outside of usually the co Ed ones and you can't walk by them? At the Rah Rah room, they've got five private bathroom doors. And then you leave and there's three or four people standing there waiting to clean your bathroom after you're done, which is just ridiculous. Two little Chinese people at the Rah Rah room stand and wait for your door to open and clean it before the next guy goes in. And I mean thoroughly clean it. It's amazing. But then you have to walk out into the sink area. You can't just skate. Too many eyes on you. It shames you into having to wash real thoroughly. We'll do the same thing in the beat laboratories. It's just the beat lab, the doors cut off and you walk out. Once that door swings open, you're in an office.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe that's what all the play areas. That was really a buzzword in the corporate world where you'd have your, you know, skee ball and things for breaks for companies to be able to release some tension. They'll just turn it into little stalls. Beat labs.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody gets their own little beat laboratory. I got one. I don't use it for that, but I got a bathroom that I could. I'm. I don't feel a lot of stress. You know, I'm not getting to the point where I'm shouting down orders and things. Like, I get to get a little upset here and there. Frustration sometimes, but it's never to the point where I need to release tension. Some people do. I think it would be great, says John. Remember the KPD jackrags you handed out almost a decade ago? That was probably closer to 20 years ago. Bring those back and make them mandatory, you know, and see somebody go in there with their rag.

[Brady Bogan]

Found one a couple of weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

You found a jackrag cleaning up the garage. It's a beautiful thing. Yeah, we had a few of those. That's a good thing. But you have to. You have to normalize it, because otherwise it's a guy just trying to relieve some stress. Or a lady. I wonder how many times it's happened here. Oh, we've seen a lot of people storm out of this place feeling pressure after getting yelled at by a boss or whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, not happened in the building necessarily.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know. They storm out crying. I would imagine that that fixes it. It's a good policy.

[Brett Vesely]

Think about it downstairs and take a poll today and ask him.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gonna take a poll. That's not the phrase I'm using. Hey, Moynihan, I wanna take a poll. How you feel about jerking off? Oh, let's go.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Lil Moynihan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Lil Sebastian is Conan Des. It's all kind of strange that Moynihan is a small nymph to Brady when he's. But yeah, if Tripp told you you're acting like an asshole. Brady. Well, I just got a lot on my mind. All right, mandatory beat down. Get in there, coat yourself, come back here. A little bit more normal. I'm not doing that. Well, then you're gonna get fired for talking back.

[Brady Bogan]

Give me the key.

[John Holmberg]

All right, fine. Go to the beat lab. Moynihan's in there again. He's very stressed out. And then there just be. You know, the people who. Who run hot, they redline a lot now. We don't have a lot of them. Mostly the ladies. The ladies are the ones that tend to run hot. Paul Sura. How often. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You're acting crazy. He gets a little stressed out. Get in there. Throw it down to the beat lab. It's got a TV screen on the wall that you can air. You can airplay. You can throw your phone up on there headset. Don't even need that. Really? We don't need Stuff to touch. You don't want things on and off, you don't want shared equipment. You're just standing there. The TV is covered in double plastic. Yeah, we don't want, you know, we don't want multi use items inside there. Clean up, you come back normal. It's great. Scott says, can I take a co worker with me? No, you may not. That is one rule we're gonna have in the beat lab is one at a time, we'll even have like a fireman's safety code. Occupancy one max. But she's doing it out there and she's seen a massive increase in productivity when she's made it allowed to go take your 30 minute break. And she works in an industry where people are looking at dirty stuff all day. It might get them aroused and they get sexually frustrated or whatever. It's a pretty good thing. I like it, I like it a lot. Says you get one of those types of breaks. How long until people start banging? I don't think it's about having sex at least it was never that way with me. With John Madden Football it was about some sort of tension. My body was boiling because the game was pissing me off to a point where I couldn't, I couldn't get past the cheating. On the old PlayStation 2. John Madden cheated constantly. And you'd get so frustrated, like you'd be winning a game and then suddenly everything's a fumble or an interception. Like this is, that guy wasn't even there. Just appear your guy would run the wrong way. Like the game started to cheat to bring the computer game back. Everybody knows it, who played it, the game cheated and the frustration levels would rise. You give yourself a good tug, you're right back at it and everything's fine. Little timeout, it's a healthy thing. It's a very healthy thing. They make priests do it. They should make priests do it every day. You should have to start your day as a priest every day, empty. That way we can trust you to walk around in your dress with the kinder. Because right now we don't and shouldn't. They should, they should demand impure thoughts in the Catholic Diocese from 9 to 10am every day.

[Brady Bogan]

Get it out of the way, get.

[John Holmberg]

This done, drain this, drain that tank. You people get pent up with the whole, can't do it, can't do it. The next thing you know, it's been 20, 25 days since you've last tugged. You're gonna take out on anything you see. Oh, they Have.

[Brett Vesely]

Those numbers are ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

They're so guilty from tugging it.

[Brady Bogan]

He convert some confessionals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they did, right? We don't need all of those.

[Brady Bogan]

There's.

[John Holmberg]

They're empty 80% of the day. Nobody's in them. Add a drain anyway. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And we're getting ready for the big grand opening up there on McDowell Power Road.

[Brady Bogan]

The hard opening.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right, the hard opening. February 22nd. When it's happening, we'll be hanging out out there. Josh is going to be giving away some bikes and all kinds of goodies as well. So head on over to They're. They. They're on their soft opening right now, so you can go check it out before the. The hard opening. And meanwhile, you can see.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Brett, clearly you need to get into the beat lab.

[Brett Vesely]

See you later. Meanwhile, you can still go to the HQ right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. Get all your stuff for snowboarding, skiing, as well as hitting the mountain. So it's action rideshop.com. and since I'm still messing with this new computer, I'm still trying to get everything dialed in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you got new stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. So Mike. Yeah, he'll be here. On the list, Marilyn Manson, Stone sour, Absolute zero for Maryvale. Megadeth, Countdown to Extinction, Rob Zombie. There's tons of Nickelback because they're playing tonight at the Open, so people want to hear. San Quentin or burn it to the ground seems to be the most.

[John Holmberg]

They said there's tickets still available if you want to get out.

[Brett Vesely]

I want to go to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the place is huge.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I will say, haven't seen them in Vegas. They put on a show. They're fun, but they're just so kind. Yeah, it's a fun show.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe San Quentin. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

San Quentin it is. That's a good one because that can.

[Brett Vesely]

Tie into Maryville, too.

[John Holmberg]

God just emailed me. Says I'm going to the Open tomorrow. I'm bringing a woman I haven't seen in 10 years flying in today, never been. Need advice of some kind of where to go while there. I'm incredibly nervous about this woman showing up. She's a friend of mine from high school, her younger sister. I'm 52, been single for two years. Trying to somewhat impress this one. Anyway, suggestions on where to go while at the Open would be appreciated. Jim, you sound like you just got ga. Everywhere is a fun place to go. Try to weasel into one of those tents. It's not as hard as you think. Or the green at 18, that's where I'd stay. The green at 18 is close to like food and things like that. And there's a. Then you get that don't even meander around 16. You're just. It's a sea of people. And although all the walk to 16, there's an awful lot of bars you can pop in and out of.

[Brady Bogan]

It's really tough. I think there's just a little area. I mean, if you go to 16, you can't see anything.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Unless you're in the stands.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you go. It's tough.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe at the T area, but even so, I think that circle around all.

[John Holmberg]

16, you can't see anything. You have to be in.

[Brady Bogan]

It used to be a little opening there and they didn't.

[John Holmberg]

It's all stadium now, but on your walk from 18 to 16, along the cart path on the outside edge, they've set up bar after bar after bar. And you can go in there. Some of them, you have to wait in line to get in. It's like dance clubs. Some you have to have a pass. But a lot of them are just first come, first serve. And those idiots were out there at 4 this morning. They opened the gates at 5 and they do the running of the morons.

[Brett Vesely]

John Roller was saying there was already traffic backing up on our way in.

[John Holmberg]

That's how in order to get on the 16th. The general admission part. Yeah. Because there's a whole huge section of ga. Yeah. You got to be there as gates are opening. And then they open the gates, you run. What, you haven't seen that? No, they do it every year. The running of the idiots.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a good half mile.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I mean, these people haul ass to get seats at the 16. It isn't. It is not available at this point right now. That whole 16 things. Crowded, packed. So first thing in the morning, 5am Those gates open. Those. You got to watch that. The running of the morons is amazing.

[Brett Vesely]

So once you're there though, I mean, what if you got it? You want to get a drink or you got a pee or something? You lose your spot then, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you hopefully have a diaper.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Or wear diapers. But yeah. Yeah. There's some truth to that. I'm sure some people do. Yeah. Google it. It's an annual tradition. Four days. They'll do it again tomorrow. The running of the idiots. And this morning, evidently there are dudes dressed as bananas and People are dressed up because it's filmed. It's like, now it's an Internet sensation. Hundreds of people, usually college age, flooding in that thing. And I mean, hauling ass women with like and all their stuff, and they're just getting trampled by idiots who want front row look out. But once. Yeah, it is true, though, when you leave, because there's a line even after it fills up of people waiting for someone to leave and there's somebody goes, all right, two seats just open. Go get them. And you got to go find them. They keep it. It's a tight eye on that area. It's kind of neat how they do it, but it is a S show. So, Jim, and answer your question, you're taking this girl to the Open. You know what my best advice to you at the Open? Wander around in people. Watch as much as you can. Stick around 17 and 18. Those are the ones where everybody kind of ends up. Get a good spot at the 18th green and let them come to you. Or go up to those crazy goofy bars on 16. But if you're not there by 6am you're not getting there. Look at this. Brett found it. This is. This is like quarter. This is 5:00am oh, they got a head start. They started a little bit before seven. That's not seven. It's dark.

[Brett Vesely]

It's probably going by Easter time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my goodness. Tables are falling off now. This might be for the bird's nest falling over this man, I hope he's okay. I mean, this is.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they're knocking over trash cans and everything.

[John Holmberg]

This is after the. This is the.

[Dick Toledo]

Lost his phone.

[John Holmberg]

All right, See, this is. But this happens out there all the time. Whenever they open. Whenever they open gates to anything at the Phoenix Open, this is what you get. Yeah, this is the. I think this is bird's nest something, because that's not the entrance.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

But still, that might be an old one too.

[Brett Vesely]

These D bags just.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, it's. It's D bag central.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

That's for the Jonas Brothers nest.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty crazy, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at the Tommy Bahama. Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

They say it starts just before 7. That's. It's dark. So.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, so that. Yeah, that's probably a concert.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy, right? Anyway, have fun out there. We're gonna play some Nickelback concert psyching rock for the boys from Canada. It's San Quentin. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming, Homberg's Morning sickness [e-mail] a lot of people heading to that waste management open now. And evidently the new rules are can't drink till 9. You should be able to drink once you got to. Can't drink till nine. And the wristbands we were talking about only eight drinks now. So they've limited you. They pulled you back from 10 to 8. My God. What are we supposed to do with that? The fun thing is, is that the people waiting for the cause the 16th. Nobody gets there at least on Saturday till later in the day. Like right now, I think they start on 10 and 1 and they double up. So you're seeing people pretty soon.

[Brady Bogan]

Base crowd.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you see them pretty fast. But on Saturday, you got to wait a couple hours after they tee off to see anybody on 16, and they're chucking burritos at these people that can't get into the tents for the food and drink. They're just sitting on that. That GA spot. Yeah, those people are troopers. That's a. That's a group, man. Be careful on your way out there. Parking my. I gotta go today, and I don't know how I'm gonna get there. I got stuff to do after. I've. I've. I was gonna waymo and then wander. I do not want to park. I don't want to drive myself because I'll be drinking my 16 drinks because I've got eight. And I know Brady. Brady's not gonna use his wristband, so I'll just borrow that one. Now I got stagger out of there and figure out my way mo home. Brett, you could just wait for me at the bell and wherever that. There's a dispensary there. I learned that yesterday. Oh, did you just hang out there? I'll get you tickets to Nickelback and Nice. Just. We'll swap out. But be careful. It's a mess already. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brett Vesely]

Hello, world.

[Brady Bogan]

We made it.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Bubblegum Day. Happy. This is gonna be a busy one today. Hug an addict or alcoholic day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Brady Bogan]

And National Working Naked Day. Basically designed for all the people that are working at home.

[John Holmberg]

Is it?

[Brady Bogan]

That's what they're saying.

[John Holmberg]

What you're assuming Working Naked Day is.

[Brady Bogan]

Celebrated the first Friday of February, the holiday suggested. But it's actually about working from home.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

The naked part is optional.

[John Holmberg]

Could do that every day if you want.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm trying to think of at any given point, working naked day would be a benefit or a curse in this building. And so far I'm again, I go back, there's Moynihan, Ned, naked. First thing in my mind, yeah, we can't have this thing. We can't have this deck carried away. Probably a couple people to be curious about, but for the most part.

[Brady Bogan]

We had a former employee husband worked naked.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. That lady's husband would sit at the computer because the air conditioner wasn't on. His wife wouldn't let him run the ac. He got naked and drunk and texted all of us for some reason told us that his marriage was over. I responded and was not met with anything. Kind couple of basis fun facts. I forgot about naked co workers husband being mad at all of us for some reason. Reason.

[Brady Bogan]

According to pew research, men who have been divorced or widowed are much more likely to want to remarry than women in the same position. 29% of previously married men want to tie the knot again, compared to just 15% of previously married women.

[John Holmberg]

Watch this. Why do you suppose that is? You got the answer. What? Who's gonna do the laundry? Well, that's obvious.

[Brett Vesely]

I was gonna say dishes, but either way, I'm good with that.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, men want to get remarried because it's like, I want to do all that stuff. Somebody's got it.

[Brady Bogan]

Abraham Lincoln had a confederate five dollar bill on him when he was assassinated. Apparently he picked it up as a souvenir when he'd gone to Virginia earlier that month.

[John Holmberg]

Memory for Lincoln, it's bad luck. He basically kept a scalp.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's like Tom Brady keeping helmets of the teams he beat in the super bowl.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of people didn't know this, but Harry Carey spent more time broadcasting for the St. Louis Cardinals.

[John Holmberg]

A lot more.

[Brady Bogan]

25 years with the Cardinals, 16 with.

[John Holmberg]

The he's only with the cups from like 82 to 97. And then it's because he fell down the stairs and couldn't do it anymore. He was the St. Louis Cardinals. He was a mainstay in St. Louis till he banged Augie Bush's wife.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, is that what happened?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

He started having sex with the owner of the team's wife.

[Brady Bogan]

They were just friends.

[John Holmberg]

Good friends. Did you ever hear the broadcast where he was fired?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's unreal. Like, it's so. Did we listen to that in here? Was that in here? Not on the air, but yeah. You sent it to us. I still haven't. It's Unreal. Like, just Harry finds out his contract's not being renewed, and the AP picks it up before he knows, while the game's going on, hey, I guess I'm not coming back next year. This just released on the ap. Well, somebody could have had some courage between innings to come in and let me know before they leaked it to the press. That's how this team runs two and one down there to Porter.

[Brett Vesely]

So he finished the game.

[John Holmberg]

He did professionally. Said thank you and goodbye to everybody. And, you know, he was none too pleased. You could hear it. And he, you know, he started to say a lot of nice stuff, but the whole game became about, like, his contract. Like, it was weird and. But it was awesome because he still.

[Brett Vesely]

With Dutchy.

[John Holmberg]

I think Dutchie was there, but he was still boning Augie Bush's wife. I think it was Augie Foggy 3 or Augie 4. I don't remember which one it was. But the owner of the Cardinals was Augustus Bush. Also owned Budweiser.

[Brady Bogan]

Was that. It was a different broadcast where he. He regretted. Where he's like, I'm a hams man now. No, no longer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, that was. Yeah. When Budweiser got mad. I think that. Because he went and broadcast for the Orioles for a year, and I think he was a hams man in Baltimore. And then he went to the White Sox. I think it might be Schaefer's or something. When he went to the Cubs, he was a Cub fan. Bud man again. Yeah, he was. His story is they need to make a Harry Carey movie. It would be too cartoonish because of the way he behaved, that you'd have to cartoon. Well, the actor that plays Harry would have to play it close, closer in. You couldn't be the extreme caricature of Harry and have the movie be interesting. Holy cow. Gonna have sex with the Huggy Bush's wife here today. Boy, oh, boy, do I love sex. Like, you couldn't have that broadcast, Harry. You'd have to have the one that sits in the room. I'm thinking about maybe killing myself. You know, one of those, like, introspective. It's just not working out here in St. Louis.

[Brady Bogan]

In France, the Ecological Transition Agency, which is like the EPA here, they want to give the people of France a little advice. They're recommending that you wash your shirts after five. Wear.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, the stereotype is true. That's a record for France. Five days. Sure. They're telling them, try five, because they're going for much longer. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just trending because conservatives in France want to scrap the whole agency to save money. So they're pushing this story saying, hey, this is why we want to get away rid of this agency.

[John Holmberg]

So they've got a little doge of their own.

[Brady Bogan]

They're saying, you know, the laundry takes up so much water and soap. And by cutting back and not, oh.

[John Holmberg]

This is cutting back, this isn't.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you were saying wear it.

[Brady Bogan]

Five times before you wash it. Don't wash it every time after one.

[John Holmberg]

I thought they were putting a limit, like saying, how about we wash it after five wears because French people stink. That's like everybody's known it didn't help that stereotype. So basically they're saying, give, give a time break. But what. But it's a. It's dumb because why don't you everyone wear your clothes five times before you wash?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And all the French frogs were like, that is what we're doing now. That's why we smell so bad. Nothing has changed. Why so often five with the waste, all this water and let's go for 20.

[Brady Bogan]

In Fayette County, Tennessee, at the Lagrange Moscow Elementary School, this teacher, Brandy Murphy was walking down the hallway, passing by one of the students. His boy. She passed by, squares off with him as they're walking the hallway, knees him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Drops the kid. Kid drops his bottle. She keeps walking. The kids now on the floor crying.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Then they, they have the. It's all on video. She comes back, puts the water bottle next to the kid and walks off. Leaves him crying again. Man, she got fired.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Can't do that. What color is this crime? Oh, yeah, she got fired. What color is this crime?

[Brady Bogan]

Britney Murphy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait, white.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, Brandy.

[John Holmberg]

Brandy Murphy. Brandy's little. No, that's wild.

[Brett Vesely]

That's hillbilly white.

[John Holmberg]

It's very hillbilly. Super white crime. What are we looking at? Oh, my God. Ridiculous. Not even worthy of being a Brandy.

[Brady Bogan]

She walked right by.

[John Holmberg]

Threw a knee into the student miss.

[Brady Bogan]

Now it's time, Brandy.

[John Holmberg]

Need me in the guts and I'll do it again. You read on me, science news.

[Brady Bogan]

How's that feel? Now it's time for some science news.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing you know about it. Every week. Come on, man, things change. Nothing's changed. Oh, for Christ. Now it's time, man. Here it comes. I'm not even going to try to film.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends. Brady Bogan here with your science news. This is a little update on that asteroid that's 300ft wide.

[John Holmberg]

It's closer. I saw it last night.

[Brady Bogan]

It's moved up to from 1.3% chance of hitting us to a 1.9.

[John Holmberg]

It's moving in again.

[Brady Bogan]

We. You know, it's almost 2%. 2032.

[John Holmberg]

Is it 2032 or 2130?

[Brady Bogan]

There's a chance it could hit in 2032.

[John Holmberg]

What? Wait a minute. Because they said last night that it wouldn't be like till 2080 before we even knew if it was close enough in like 21 something.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they say there's a much larger asteroid.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, maybe that's the one.

[Brady Bogan]

That's one that's happening in 2180.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. That's the one.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

2080. Yeah. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Bruce Willis and Buscemi and the rest of the riggers and throw them up there.

[John Holmberg]

Let somebody else figure this out. Yeah. Don't celebrate it.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't believe Randy.

[John Holmberg]

You're the problem. You're not allowed to talk anymore. Cuz you. You invent it sometimes. Like you try to make things happen. Like you're. You're celebrating it too much. His rhymes are funny to only him. Don't. Only natural. No more augmentation. Don't. He said it. We all heard it. And then you're like the what? No more of that. Anyway, why are we warning people about 2182? Leave a note on the fridge if they find it, that's fine.

[Brady Bogan]

In one week it went, you know, almost half a percent. And we're supposed to hit. Yeah, 2032.

[John Holmberg]

Keeping an eye on it. Break in case of asteroid? Well, no, just a note. Like a sticky thing that says hey, hey. Don't forget we got this whole thing plotted out once it starts creeping up on 2150. Either way, take a look for that thing. If it's getting closer, we know an AI news.

[Brady Bogan]

Rumor has it that Alexa is getting a big update upgrade too. And it could be even smarter than ChatGPT.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna keep going back.

[Brady Bogan]

You have to pay for it though. Like 10 bucks a month.

[John Holmberg]

I saw a thing last night. Brett, you and I will never leave the house. I thought porn was going to be the thing that made virtual reality and AI a drug. 1967, Las Vegas.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

You can walk the streets. You're there. It's recreated.

[Brett Vesely]

It's on YouTube or something.

[John Holmberg]

All of it? No, it was on a news thing and said this is what they're working on. The Fitz and I go back and forth with old. He doesn't. Mostly he sends me old videos of people Driving down the strip in the 60s, and then it overlaps to what's there now. And he did a thing last night about the building of the frontier. And then it's every 10 years what it looked like after. It's amazing. But they did this thing where it was AI, where, I mean, you can't tell. It's not just sitting in a room like we are. Except for there it is. The one thing they did, they're gonna, by the time they have this technology available to just pop some glasses on and go hoofing it through and feel it. They're gonna do smells, and AI will be able to recreate the cigarettes and the sounds and all that. Right now it looked unreal, like everybody was in the 60s clothes. And it was exactly what the inside of that building would have looked like. It was so cool.

[Brady Bogan]

In animal news, scientists have found a fungus that grows on rocks. And if it gets on spiders, it basically kills the spider and they become zombie spiders. The fungus controls the body.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I've seen that. Yeah. That's supposed to be like.

[Brady Bogan]

It's happened in the other stuff, but there's a new one over in the.

[John Holmberg]

Uk, they found it, but the animal is actually dead. But the fungus moves the animal's body, keeps it alive. I don't know that it's still a venomous, like, biting thing, but it's just the host moves around like a car, like, it's like their vehicle.

[Brady Bogan]

As long as they can keep the meat fresh, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Rabbits, they find, get their calcium from eating their own teeth. A rabbit's. The teeth are constantly growing, and that's why they chew so much to grind them down and that kind of up the teeth and they swallow that calcium. And then this is a now a proven fact that killer whales hunt great white sharks. And when they get them, all they do is eat the liver.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. They waste a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

And they can surgically remove that liver.

[John Holmberg]

So the great. So the great white shark and the killer. The killer whale, sort of the European of the sea, where they just go waste all that meat and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that. That meat doesn't go to waste, but.

[John Holmberg]

That'S what we as Europeans, it hits the bottom. That's true. Somebody will eat it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a buffet.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, technically, that's what Whitey said about the buffaloes. And the Indians were very upset. Somebody will eat the rest of this. We just want parts. And they would just skin the buffalo and the meat would stay and rot.

[Brady Bogan]

That's your science news. It looks Like Starbucks baristas are already complaining about doodling on your cups because the new campaign is they're gonna start.

[John Holmberg]

Have a nice day. Draw flowers, not. Try not to write your name.

[Brady Bogan]

Hammer name still. But they're kind of burning out on it, right?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're. You're asking them to do pick your.

[Brady Bogan]

Three, you know, put a heart on it. But then people, some of the baristas are thinking, oh, now customers think we're flirting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's leading incels to believe that the girl actually likes them.

[Brett Vesely]

Idiots. Go to the strip club.

[John Holmberg]

If you do that, here's the advice has always been you can't the help and the help doesn't want you. They're paid to be nice to you. They're not flirting. They're paid to be nice to you. Also, advice for the Phoenix Open this weekend. Oh, the girls that are working, they do not want to have sex with you. The workers. Yeah. You're gonna find one in and amongst the crowd. Like you say, she's gonna be the one in heels sunk into this. Right? There's girls looking for a mate.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought you were talking to me about the bartenders.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's bartenders there every year. They don't want to you. They want your money and that's. They're being extra nice and they dress like sluts, so you give them more money.

[Brady Bogan]

They're good, they're great.

[John Holmberg]

But don't be fooled into thinking that's flirting because. Follow him. A few people, go down a couple more booths and see what they're saying to them. It's the same pattern.

[Brady Bogan]

This morning was a prime example of a guy that was trying to.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think he was hitting on anyone.

[Brady Bogan]

It went the wrong way.

[John Holmberg]

The Nazi, I'm pretty sure he just went over.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why I don't think it started Mountain. They said, no, boy, let me tell you something.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure that the first words out of your mouth, hey, do you know what we should do with Mexicans at the border? And then it includes slitting their throats. I'm pretty sure that's not his opening line. That's like playing snaps with the girls. Learn snaps and go show that that's. That's a guaranteed bar winner. Even still, now that the Internet's given the game away, if you know how to play snaps, chicks act like that like you sent them to another planet. Snaps is the most. I can't tell you the rules, but if you know somebody knows how to play, have them teach it to you, it's. It's a girl killer. I used to watch this. My dopey buddy Kevin. It wins women over. Like he's hip. Like he's hypnotized them. It's the best game I've ever seen in my life. Have you ever played it? Do you know what it is? I'll teach you guys after. Find someone. Even Google it online. But find somebody who knows the code.

[Brady Bogan]

Of reading, of reading a mind or your friend's mind.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Snaps is like. Like we. Can you whisper something in his ear and he can tell you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Without. And nobody says, you know, it's amazing to watch people react to Snaps. Snaps is amazing. And it works. Even when you're. You know, it always works. So AI says Gemini on Google says the rules of Snaps are, no, no, don't tell the rules. Oh, you said no. No, I don't want the rules. No, the opposite. Nobody wants. You learn it on your own. Gotcha. Yeah. Because then you're giving it away, and then it's not a. It's. You have to. You know, most chicks aren't going to know what snaps are, but the ones that do know your. You're trying to hit and tie. You're trying to put them under a spell, because it's amazing how they fall under the spell.

[Brady Bogan]

If you're a big fan of wearing surfware like Quicksilver, Billabong, Volcom, you're not gonna be able to find it in the stores anymore. They're closing 100 locations across the United States.

[John Holmberg]

Internet only.

[Brady Bogan]

Shutting it down.

[Brett Vesely]

I wear Volk them.

[John Holmberg]

I used to.

[Brady Bogan]

Liberated Brands is the company behind that they filed for bankruptcy.

[John Holmberg]

Probably better to go just online, isn't it?

[Brady Bogan]

For most people. But it'll be interesting to see if the brands just shut down like Ed.

[Brett Vesely]

Hardy did back, I don't know, build a bong or Ed Hardy had Quicksilver were still around.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they're out there.

[John Holmberg]

It did. I'm just thinking of that time down at the Rula Bula when Kevin had sex with a supermodel who was about six'one Kevin was about five'five he looked like if some. If a shrinky dink of Conan O'Brien. And he said he. He guessed Sandra Bullock. And this girl's life changed, like, right in front of me. How did you do that? Well, we have a connection. Seriously, how did you do that? Show me. It's not a game. Like you whispered into my friend's ear, and I can. I can read what people are thinking next Thing you know, they're in the car and you see a 6 foot, 1 inch, reddish blonde hair, just blablab, blab, blab, blab, blab. And Kevin's little stupid Irish face. How does that game work? It works.

[Brady Bogan]

The organizers of the 2025 International Cherry Blossom Festival is happening in Macon, Georgia this year. They want to make the event even more special by trying to get in the Guinness world record for the largest kazoo ensemble. God, they need 5,190 kazoo players. What time do you and Kirby leave?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you guys would definitely be part of.

[Brady Bogan]

It's scheduled for March 28th. We've got a little time.

[John Holmberg]

You can drive. Keep me away from that.

[Brady Bogan]

Imagine, no sound.

[John Holmberg]

Some guy says your mom is so fat she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up. That kind of snapshot. No, that's different. You don't want to say. You don't want to tell a girl your mom is so fat. Left the house and heels. Came home and flat snaps. The name of the game is snaps. That's all you have to. That's amazing. Yeah. If you started to just street insult a girl, maybe she'd be into it. Your mama's teeth. So yellow. I can't believe it's not butter. Will you go out with me?

[Brady Bogan]

I got three quick pretty videos. First one's a dude getting huge in the weight room doing bench press. I don't think he chooses the best spotter.

[John Holmberg]

It's a.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a girl.

[John Holmberg]

It's a girl. And the bench is on his neck at one point. Oh, no, she helps them all. She helps. She's got an apron on. She just helps balance it. Yeah, she does it. She's a good woman. She's got an apron on in the gym. Even hits his chest. Oh, he's not gonna get that up.

[Brett Vesely]

He needs.

[John Holmberg]

He needs to spotter to help. This is £400. Oh, she pulls it right up over to his neck. Neck.

[Brady Bogan]

I think the guy's gone.

[John Holmberg]

It's under his neck. Oh, he's. He's out. Cold feet are gone. He's trying to lift with his body. She can't do it. This is choking him to death. There's no doubt. Take some weights off, dummy. Oh, yeah, there you go. Just let it go. Slide under, slide under.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, trying to pick up the one end.

[John Holmberg]

It's crushing him. It is crushing. Use it as a fulcrum. Tilt it 45 degrees. I'll roll over. Oh, he's off the bench. He's alive.

[Brady Bogan]

Pinched.

[John Holmberg]

He's in There. He's okay, though. It's much better.

[Brady Bogan]

He made it.

[John Holmberg]

His spotter is a weak lady in an apron. That's. Oh, my goodness.

[Brett Vesely]

Him for picking.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

That's for him. Thinking he could throw that weight up on his own. Anyway, I got this. Oh, man, it's close. So he bounces it off the chest and then that's it.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't believe.

[John Holmberg]

Puts it on his neck, says it's 165 kilograms. So it's at 325. Is that right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, there's three.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't know how I'm not working that out. That's £3. It's 165K.

[Brady Bogan]

365.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe 363 like what Toledo said. Good guessing. I'm impressed.

[Brady Bogan]

This next one's a fry festival dude standing on some elect power upon the power lines.

[John Holmberg]

Is this in the States? I don't see him. Where is he? Oh, oh, he's right up on the. Yeah, up on the post. He's way up there. Oh, he's on fire. Oh, now he's. Now he's falling down. He's. Well done, Crick cook. Wow, that's a lot of people watching that.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't get too many consonants together.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. Yeah? Be careful. You almost said two cook again. Why celebrate it? You thought you heard a slur. Jesus Christ.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not celebrating. Last one's a little.

[John Holmberg]

I'll be the one pointing things out around here. Don't you start doing it. Get in trouble. I didn't even hear that one. You made him say it again. Oh, it's a lady with her arm all the way in a pig's ass. Or pig. I don't know what that is. I don't know what you're saying, but if something to do with putting your arm all the way in a pig's butt. What's the purpose of this?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. The little one scampering there pulling another one out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that. Is that a pig vagina?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought it was its butt. My God.

[Brett Vesely]

Yikes.

[John Holmberg]

This is what every birth in Georgia looks like. Just reach into that pig and pull him out. Yep. Oh, it's bad enough to see on his. I get it, Brady. The making bacon joke.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, don't. He looked at me with so much pride, I had to look away in Macon. Okay, Yep. I know where you're going. Shouldn't use Georgia. She's used Mississippi or Alabama.

[Brady Bogan]

Georgia is where that teacher was from. That's where you got it.

[John Holmberg]

All right. What do you got, Bert?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, let's try this out.

[John Holmberg]

Try this out.

[Brady Bogan]

Mild today. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

It sounds like he's experimenting with new things.

[Brett Vesely]

Hang on. See if my computer is gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's got new IT Guy came in here and everything is slow now. Make. All right, here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Brady Bogan]

It's fighting.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. I think.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, got it. All right, we'll start with this one here, guys. In the sewer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's in a sewer. And he's taking a bite of a food that is hanging from the. Is he mentally challenged?

[Brady Bogan]

It looks like it.

[John Holmberg]

He's down syndrome and he's eating feces. He's down syndrome. He's got something more than downs. And he is eating handfuls of orange. It's inside the pumpkin poop. Oh, my God. Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

There's an Oompa Loompa.

[John Holmberg]

Why would a Down syndrome person be in the sewer?

[Brett Vesely]

How about this one?

[Brady Bogan]

Holy Mountain.

[John Holmberg]

Very.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, he's dead.

[John Holmberg]

Fat.

[Brett Vesely]

No piece. He's gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, okay, I can help with this. He's not putting in any work. I will. I'm an expert on this because they are sitting on what's called a Liberator section. Okay. The Liberator sex bed is for two people. It's a curved, kind of almost. It looks like a human body. Eight. Half of an eight. But she is 450 pounds of African American woman, and he is 160 pounds of Caucasian man. And he is in the curve Liberator bed, which is outside on a towel. For some reason. I bet you they learned the hard way that that has to be outside. His face is buried in her massive ass. And then they're just bouncing on each other. Where do you go from there? Like the Liberator's act. Pretty neat bed.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Rolls you into different positions years and years ago. Had a Liberator.

[Brett Vesely]

It's got to be a weight limit to it, though.

[John Holmberg]

My old English sheepdog got diarrhea all over it.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's what you said.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. That's what happened. Trust me, I'd still have it. You think I was trying to get rid of it? What do you. I'm not you. I wanted that thing in my house. I looked at an open house once, and at the end of the bed, there was one of those. And I went and told the real estate agent. I'm like, hey, not for nothing, but in this classy place over here at the country club, that's a sex bed at the End. No, it's just. It's like a little settee. And I'm like, no, I'm looking up. It's called the Liberator. And I showed it to the real estate agent. She lost her mind. We've got to get that out of here. Like, yeah, you do. Because it's proof this was a filth house. That dude's putting that out as a place to sit and put his shoes on at the end of the bed. What's in his closet? Did you say you saw the eyelet hook and the raptor? Oh, that was yours? Yeah, that was when I had it. Well, I had an eyelet over the bed for a sex wing. And when I was selling my house, I thought, nobody's gonna notice that. Everybody. Oh, look, a sex swing eyelet. Oh, I know what's going on in here. Like, it was for potted plants. Nobody puts potted plants over their beds, sir. Not that heavy duty. Gambia was big. And I'm like, jesus Christ. And then I was like, you know what? If you know about it, yours bad.

[Brady Bogan]

You should buy this house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you should. It's good for you. I was in there when trying to leave, and they did the open house, and they didn't know I owned the house. And I'm leaving the bathroom. Guys like, look, honey, points of the thing. A lot of action going on in here. Like, oh, boy. Think it could your eyelet support that? No, it's 200. 205 pounds. So you couldn't do both of you. You don't both get in.

[Brett Vesely]

She's the one in it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you put her in it. You start whiffing around.

[Brett Vesely]

And if you need more than 205.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you got a 200. Look, the day you have the talk with your wife that she doesn't. That she maxes out the weight capacity of the sex wing. That better come with papers. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Why do you have a welder in your bedroom?

[John Holmberg]

We should use the sex swing. Well, no, because you're going to pull the beam down. And here's the divorce papers because too many quesadillas.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not calling Luke from ICON to bring a crane over for you.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we could just fortify it with a secondary. No, we're not building the system. No wife of mine is going to be pulling support beams down.

[Brady Bogan]

They should bring back a HGTV special on that, like Homes on Homes. They didn't put it in. Right, right.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I'll tell you this. In order to be a decent wife, you should be able to have a sex wing in a card house. That's a good woman. You pull down the cardhouse, you've put on a few too many. That thing there, that lady's £400 if she's a pound.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that Swedish guy she's killing underneath, he didn't sign up for that. He is buried in that. What'd you call it? The Liberator? Yeah, it's not as squished down as normal. Like, they're pretty tall. She's crushing it.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, how far? Let's see if they got it on before she gets on the thing there she's climbing on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it goes down a lot. That dude with the weights on his neck didn't have as much. What's going on outside? Some people doing yard work.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, you got a guy weed eating next door. Get it home, skinny. Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Slow down, Big Mike.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, let's jump into this one here.

[John Holmberg]

You guys smell Mariscas? What is that, fish? Yeah, I do. Why?

[Brett Vesely]

Let's stick with the same topic.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, it's. Her brother is a humongous black man or Indian eating a lot of. Would you consider that McDonald's fries? McDonald's on my side. He's eating McDonald's. Think again, fat ass. Oh, and here's his fat white dominatrix. Oh, no. She's part of the gay agenda. Oh, no. This is exactly what Fox News said would happen. Oh, no. I'm being radicalized. This is the best video I've ever seen.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think you understand.

[John Holmberg]

He's 500 plus pounds. Oh, my God. That might be the best video I've ever seen. Okay, can't say that one. Yeah, and then the fat white lady gets on the black guy, and that's where the movie gets stereotypical.

[Brett Vesely]

I know you don't like compilation videos, so we'll skip.

[John Holmberg]

They got lazy at the end of that. You know, it was real creative. And they're like, oh, fat white lady on a black wall.

[Brady Bogan]

Cut to the end.

[John Holmberg]

We're running out of tape.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, here we go. This is Dollar Store Hooker.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, Family Guy.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, there's a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I don't want to see stupid. I don't want to see their comedy angle. I just want to see the video. All right, there she is, bent over, taking her pants down. Is that a forest? That was a lot of hair.

[Brett Vesely]

Just wait.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, Brett. She's walking around in a public restroom. I guess that's a man. Man, I don't know. What that is. She's got a dress.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll give you that much.

[John Holmberg]

There is a lot of hair under that dress. Oh, there's her button. But wait. There. Butthole has been stomped out. Oh, the whole genital package is not in good condition. Oh, my God. Oh, that's awesome. It's Nosferatu's face. Wow. Her vagina looks like Nosferatu. Looks like an orc God. Who's filming this? The devil. Okay. Yeah, that's. That is. That's the ring video. Oh. That I'll never unsee. We'll show that to Melissa Villas. And you are? She'll be here. Don't do that. Ever been in this bathroom, Melissa? John, I, for one. Can you start a new podcast? Because I'd pay good money to hear you and Doug Hopkins talk about sex houses in Phoenix. Oh, my God. Can't imagine what he's walked into and then followed up with that jingle. Oh, he's told me a few stories about stuff he's seen, and not all of it's sexual, but. Yeah. Call Doug Hopkins. 1-800-cell now. Wait a minute. Murder houses. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Awesome. There's been murders, there's been deaths, there's been hoarders, there's been drugs. There's been all of it. We've. I think we've talked about this before. Are you required to divulge if it's been a murder house? I don't think you have to anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm, like, in this state. Yeah, but I think some states you do. If I'm not mistaken, Brett would know.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Anything else? Or is that the last we close with Dollar Store hooker? Good. Have it up on the screen for Melissa when she comes. Oh, God. Don't Melissa Photoshop it? Melissa Villa, senor at the Tempe Improv. See what she says. No, I'm doing it. There you go, everybody. That's your Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. Look, everybody. Melissa Villa senor is here. Look at you. Yeah, she's gonna take her earrings off. She's got a disrobe for us to. To interview her. That's.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought it was a TV press thing today. And he goes, no, it's the radio guys. And I was like, all right.

[John Holmberg]

Midway through, you're like, screw. You look good. Anyway, so nice job, Melissa Geese and yours here. She's over at the Desert Ridge Improv. Tonight and tomorrow here, Desert Ridge. You're going to be part of the old Phoenix Open. Crowd's going to start rolling up.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I have to get to this before we get to anything else.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, no, it's good. And you know what's. It's really fun for people like me. I know my fans appreciate it. Saturday shows, 6pm and 8:30.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Let's get it out of the way early. That's.

[Dick Toledo]

But look, you know, if you're like, you want to get a bed. 10:30.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You wouldn't knock out. Let's get this over with is what you're saying. Ha ha. Enough already. Bedtime. I'm with you.

[Dick Toledo]

There's nothing wrong with love sleep.

[John Holmberg]

I just started my new schedule because I hate alarm clocks. I've done this job in this room now for 24 years. Hey, thank you. That's not. Look, this is easy. Have you met other radio people? This is. I'm the. I'm the king of the special ed. It's.

[Dick Toledo]

You guys are my favorite.

[John Holmberg]

Well, thank you, that's very sweet. We're gonna get to that in a second. Okay. But I just. This year I decided like, why do I force myself to go to bed with my arms crossed at 10 o'clock angry and then get a couple cruddy hours of sleep, finally fall asleep for real and have an alarm jar me awake? So I'm staying up all night and then just doing the show and I'm happier than I've ever been. I. And then when I go home, I go to sleep. I wake up whenever I feel like it because there's no end time and I've never felt better.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait.

[John Holmberg]

Unreal.

[Dick Toledo]

You pull all nighters.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just watching old game shows all night long. TV murder shows, a lot of that. Just watching all that.

[Brady Bogan]

Deep into the murder shows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, love the murder shows. Then go to go to work. When this ends, I go home, I go to sleep for a few hours, knock out, play with the dogs, be done dinner, start the whole night game shows again. It's great because sleep is important, but it has to be your sleep. And I've been doing it on other people's time.

[Dick Toledo]

See, that's why I take two hour naps.

[John Holmberg]

Naps are amazing. Two hour nap. Two hour naps are.

[Dick Toledo]

That's a problem.

[John Holmberg]

That's lazy.

[Dick Toledo]

I like the sleep after. Like when you go wake up and go pee or whatever and then you go back to sleep. That's another good sleep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, there's nothing Better than the, oh, we better get up. And then. Sleeping on the toilet is one of my favorite things. You kind of pee and start to nod off. You have to fight it. You're so tired. That euphoric. Like, I'm gonna sleep and pee at the same time, but it's okay because I'm the right spot. And then you wander back to, oh, there's nothing better.

[Brady Bogan]

The ebb and flow of waking up, though. I like waking up where all of a sudden, because you have to pee and you see 1:00. Oh, I have three more hours left.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's the best. Yeah, People love it.

[Brady Bogan]

But the worst is when you have. You wake up and your wife five minutes before your alarm goes.

[John Holmberg]

Always. Yeah. Nothing better than a morning show talking about how great sleep is. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The whole crew. Melissa, you were not gonna be here this week. I was told earlier in the week. Brad can confirm Melissa won't be doing any press this week. And I'm like, oh, oh, I see. And then the guy that we had scheduled today canceled. And yesterday they said, melissa's doing your show tomorrow. Tell me the story. Why were you dodging us? What's the truth? No, no, I demand the truth, Melissa. Damn you. Because I know how this is. You showed up and said, I'm not doing any radio or TV for those knobs. If they show up when I show up, I'm going to sleep. Don't you wake me.

[Dick Toledo]

I think what happened was I got confused. I thought. I had thought. Okay, listen, I'm not making.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Dick Toledo]

It doesn't help. Is that my voice? It sounds like a liar. It sounds like it, but you sound.

[John Holmberg]

Like you're making up crap immediately every time. Yeah, go ahead.

[Dick Toledo]

I had heard that Wednesday they were going to do morning press. And I go, that's never been heard of. It's usually Friday morning.

[John Holmberg]

Who told you that? This Brad Confirm. Why would we ever tell her Wednesday. Who told you the Wednesday?

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if it was my man. Something happened.

[John Holmberg]

You don't remember when?

[Dick Toledo]

No, there's no. And then someone was. And then I think my manager was like, maybe Thursday. It's Thursday morning. I'm like, that doesn't happen.

[John Holmberg]

Not doing that either.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Friday.

[John Holmberg]

So then you said, no press. The knobs are without Melissa this week. And that was the deal. And then suddenly you came in.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm open to. I want to help the shows and get. And I saw ticket sales the second show, the 9:30. I was like, oh, 27 people well, that's a.

[John Holmberg]

That's an intimate group.

[Dick Toledo]

I know, I know. They're still gonna be fun. No, but I think I. I always assumed. It's Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I wasn't saying. Absolutely not. I love you guys.

[John Holmberg]

I sort of believe you.

[Brett Vesely]

She came in hugging. She was. You know, she had a cya.

[John Holmberg]

Once you commit. Once you commit to the room, you're gonna turn on the charm. You're not gonna come in and go, I don't want to be here. Yeah, but I was worried because I wouldn't do it if I was you. No way.

[Dick Toledo]

I. But it. But hearing it's you guys, that made.

[John Holmberg]

Me you, didn't you. Please. At first you're kind of like, all right, they're okay. You're not excited about this. We're happy to have you is what I'm saying.

[Dick Toledo]

You guys always, always. I always remember all the times I come in and I have such a.

[John Holmberg]

Well, good now hopefully that. Me chastising you for.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Faking it. Yeah. But you do have kind of a liar's voice. I never really realized because it goes.

[Dick Toledo]

Up at the end.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It wasn't me.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. See, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I hate it.

[John Holmberg]

Is sort of a voice.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe I need to speak. I was very. I'm very excited to be here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, see, that just sounded mean.

[Dick Toledo]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't you see the problem is I have to speak up higher cuz I want everyone to like me and get along.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what to buy anymore. Have you ever killed anyone before? Let's just start there. Have you ever.

[Brady Bogan]

Where are the bodies?

[John Holmberg]

Where?

[Dick Toledo]

You don't know. I've never killed anyone. See?

[John Holmberg]

See, you would go and. Yeah. You're going to jail immediately.

[Dick Toledo]

This TR.

[John Holmberg]

Is over. Melissa is well known for all the voices she does. And. And we were asking, I don't know, like. Because last time you were here, you were about to be done at Saturday Night Live. Like you were thinking about quitting and I could sense it that you were like, ah. You didn't really. You weren't necessarily having the time of your life anymore.

[Dick Toledo]

It's. I think it's. You know what it is? I think my. My soul wasn't as strong as most there.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Because it is a. It's a. It's a crucible.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not about like, everyone. I know. Lauren loved me. Everyone was. Yeah, I know that. But it's. You have to really. You have to really stand firm. In what you think's funny. Your ideas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And you have to really believe in.

[Dick Toledo]

Your, like, and confidence and. And be able to really fight for yourself. Like. And I think whenever there's a lot of people, a lot of talent, ego, like, I tend to shy away. It's so. I don't know where I fit. I get overwhelmed, really.

[John Holmberg]

So you feel like you were kind of falling backwards because everybody else was stronger?

[Dick Toledo]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

But you are so good at what you do.

[Dick Toledo]

I know that.

[John Holmberg]

I know you have to be.

[Dick Toledo]

I know that. Like, there's.

[Brady Bogan]

But you want to be invited, too. There's a part that's like, you're not. You're selling yourself, but you want people to say, hey, would you do. Join me on this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And it doesn't happen there as much.

[John Holmberg]

So screw them, is what I'm saying.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, no, no, I think it's. I think it came down to my. What I could handle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because I've, you know, I've gotten to be in an unfortunate situation that I'm friends with Jon Lovitz, and it's nice, but it's also. I never dreamt of the day I'd be like, all right, Lovett, stop calling me, because it's incessant. But he talks about that all the time. Is that he was lucky to be, like, heard when he watched other people who were super good that just could not get there, could not get their ground there. And it takes two, three years before anybody even actually gets it. Yeah. And it's. I can't. Watching all the specials that are going on right now, and the documentary that's really good. Is the. The SNL 50, where they have the writers room and all the. The thing that show you kind of the inner workings of how this thing, it is chaos every single day. Yeah. And then the end of Saturday, it's like, all right, what are we doing next week? I mean, you have to.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Sunday. You're already getting anxiety in bed thinking of what the next ideas are. And it's a lot to, like, think of. Like, you want the host to like the idea.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You want the produce. Like, there's so many people that have input, but. Just wish I wasn't such a baby.

[John Holmberg]

Well, what. What can we do to help change that?

[Dick Toledo]

No, no, I think.

[John Holmberg]

How do we toughen you up?

[Dick Toledo]

Everything is where I'm supposed to be, and I think right now in life, it's just about me getting aligned with my power again and who I am.

[John Holmberg]

Do you feel like you Lost something.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. And I share this in my shows that, you know, I think when I left the show, there was a part of me that was like, I don't matter anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Way too young to feel this.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I know, but it was, it was. I was like, I'm not special. I'm not on the show, so no one's gonna. I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Why would they come see you?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

Geez, you're making me wonder.

[Dick Toledo]

No, no. And then I went to the. And then I was like, well, I don't. Shouldn't do so many impressions. That was a part of the show. And right now I've been telling my ship, my crowds. I'm like, no, this is a gift I've been given even before the show. Like, it doesn't even.

[John Holmberg]

It's what made you you in the first place.

[Dick Toledo]

Just love it. And I do, too. When I. Especially when I discover a new voice. You know what you.

[John Holmberg]

What do you got new?

[Dick Toledo]

What's exciting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But you know what's ruining it for people like you and to smaller degree, me. AI.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, shoot.

[John Holmberg]

Me and Frank Caliendo talk about all the time. It's like the. The magic disappears when you do one, and then the computer can make it.

[Dick Toledo]

Perfect, but nothing's gonna be as fun.

[Brady Bogan]

They haven't made it perfect.

[John Holmberg]

It's still. Imagine.

[Dick Toledo]

I guess I did learn a few voices. This was a good challenge. I auditioned for Milhouse for Simpsons because she's retiring.

[John Holmberg]

She's retiring. I didn't think of that.

[Dick Toledo]

So I submitted Milhouse, Jimbo and Rod.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

And I was pretty proud of you.

[John Holmberg]

Got your mill house. I did a little Milhouse. That's perfect. Oh, hey, Lisa. Oh, that's perfect. You got that job.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean. Oh, I don't know. But I. It was, you know, it brought me a lot of joy to see.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll call you.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, we'll call you. We'll let you know. But I spent the weekend just listening and watching. That's what I used to do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, just study someone to the ground, like in my, you know. And then I, I, I had a lot of fun doing that. So it was like a nice. Just made me happy again.

[John Holmberg]

That's cool. So, yeah, when you, when you kind of have that spark come back. Yeah. Like, this is what I'm good at.

[Dick Toledo]

It's so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's weird because. And, and as a person who does voices, I also know that when you get into a lull and you haven't got anything New for a while. You feel like none of them are good. Is that like, you know, you have your. You know, you have your aces, but you're kind of like, I've worn these out to yourself. Right, right. So you're like, I don't know if that's a thing anymore. And that's something. But then you find a new one.

[Dick Toledo]

And it gets exciting, and then they all.

[John Holmberg]

And then they all kind of become in that weird.

[Dick Toledo]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Because it is sort of a strange mental brain game when you can do that, that you. You'll sit and do stuff. Do you walk around the house as that person all day? Like, when you're working on Milhouse, it becomes your Milhouse time. That it's like you find little words.

[Dick Toledo]

And I think, so. I think, yeah. And then I was working my friend Eric Balzo, who voices Bugs Bunny, and, oh, wow, he's. He's great. And so I was. I was working on it with him, and he's like, yeah. Remember, though, he goes. His voice is like, crazy. And I was like, this is. It's so fun.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And are you doing animation stuff now?

[Dick Toledo]

I do a lot of cartoons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm very, very grateful that the cartoon.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, I was trying to work on a bit about this because voiceover Cartoons, the best. Yeah, I could do that. The rest of the great. Because acting. So it's all appearing like, yeah, voiceover. I could be ugly as hell and get old and gross, you know? But people think, oh, Melissa's still killing it. Look at her credits on the census.

[John Holmberg]

All they look at as your resident home.

[Dick Toledo]

I could be like, oh, yeah, you.

[John Holmberg]

Could be a hoarder.

[Dick Toledo]

People are like, damn, she's killing it, though.

[John Holmberg]

Covered in your own feces.

[Dick Toledo]

And I go into the recording studio.

[John Holmberg]

Just soaked and sweat. You know what?

[Brady Bogan]

You don't need to come to the studio anymore. We're gonna set you up a little.

[John Holmberg]

We'll set you up. You know, we're gonna pay for that. We're gonna go ahead and, Melissa, you stay at home. We're gonna build you a studio. Melissa smells like feces. And you could do it on purpose. Hey, guys, I'm here. I think that would be my impression of you. It's like, is she here or not? She doesn't even know. She's. Everything's a lie. Melissa beats yours.

[Dick Toledo]

I think that could be a good bit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. That you're covered in feces and doing voiceovers.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

I watch that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That would be a great cartoon called Melissa at Home doing Voiceovers. It's meta. It's the cartoon doing voiceover work and never leaving. And she just lives in her own filth. Like cats everywhere. And that could work. Are you a cat person? You have pets?

[Dick Toledo]

I love my dog. I also have a cat.

[John Holmberg]

Or you do not love the cat?

[Dick Toledo]

No, I left. The thing is, I, I, I've. Oh, when you sign up for a cat, you don't realize how long they're going to be with you.

[John Holmberg]

Well, jeez, it's a commitment issue. Really.

[Dick Toledo]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, yeah, they do stay too long is what you're saying. They wear out their welcome.

[Dick Toledo]

They shred up my.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you need some scratch and post. That sounds like I've gotten her some.

[Dick Toledo]

And she pretty prefers my pants or the, or my little cat. My gamer chair.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, you can't have her tearing up the gamer chair.

[Dick Toledo]

So when I got my gamer chair year, you know, is my pride and joy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And it's beautiful. It's like kawaii colors. Just picture it.

[John Holmberg]

You say kawaii like kawaii like a black guy. It's the same color as kawhi. Leonard. I've never heard anybody describe something that way.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe it's not kawaii, but it's like a, it's like pink pastel.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I know what you're saying. Hawaii. Or kawaii.

[Dick Toledo]

Sister heard something that I said that was pretty cruel. Okay, so there was a night. Well, you know, a gamer chair. It was a little pricey for me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And put it together, assembled it. It's heavy. And it was. It's in the art room where I have my cat in my little room. And at night, because I didn't want her to. Ripping up my gamer chair.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dick Toledo]

Every night I'd move it the chair in the hallway and I go. And I think I whispered to myself, can't wait till she goes so I don't have to move my gamer chair.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Dick Toledo]

My sister was like, no.

[John Holmberg]

Evil can't wait.

[Dick Toledo]

So not to move my gamer chair.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, you're covered in feces, you smell horrible, and you're wishing death to cats in front of people. You had guests, for God's sake.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, my sister was staying.

[John Holmberg]

My God, there was someone in the house. Clean up and act like an adult.

[Brady Bogan]

I wasn't talking about the cat.

[John Holmberg]

I can't wish the sea drops dead. Yeah, not the cat either, lady. Wow. Well, anyway, Feliza Villasignor wants you to visit her tonight.

[Dick Toledo]

You guys know that there's always been a little Evil side.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, no, that's. You can't be this sweet.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And not be like your murderous plans.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. No.

[John Holmberg]

Aren't you dating a violinist for a while? Is he still around? No, long gone. Is he still alive? That's my next question. Is he still. He's great. You should see him. Next time. I'll bring him. I promise. Guys, gotta go. Yeah. No, so that's. Maybe. Do you have. Did you ever fantas. Fantasize about killing him when he was in the house? Like. Like you do the cat?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't worry.

[John Holmberg]

I don't believe that. Don't worry.

[Brady Bogan]

He didn't ruin furniture.

[John Holmberg]

I think everybody wonders what it would be like if the person they were with was gone.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Don't you? You. You've done it.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, people I really love makes. Yeah, it makes me sad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it makes you sad. But then you start wondering, like, what's life?

[Brady Bogan]

You're thinking the other way.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, you think about the freedoms. There was that. There was an old. I don't remember what the sketch was years ago, but I think Tom Hanks was in it where his wife said, you ever think if I passed away, what would happen? And he tells her about his new family and the kids and his fantasy. So detailed. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So maybe not too much.

[John Holmberg]

But if you were gone, then you should see the kids. Melissa V is in yours at Desert Ridge Improv this week and Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Can't get you to leave this place without doing, you know, doing the classics. We gotta get you through them because. What's your favorite one? I'll ask that. Like, what one are you? Like, I like to do this. This is fun for me.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, I think, like, I've been bringing back Bjork, and that's been fun.

[John Holmberg]

Bjork's back. She's back singing?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Melissa, go. We.

[Dick Toledo]

Can I sing anything?

[John Holmberg]

Anything.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

What are you gonna sing?

[Dick Toledo]

No, I didn't know if I had the rights on radio.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, we pay for some stuff. Don't worry about it.

[Brett Vesely]

We pay for it.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the other thing. I don't know. We'll figure it out later.

[Dick Toledo]

All right? Wait, what? What do you want her to be singing? A funnier song.

[John Holmberg]

A funnier song.

[Brady Bogan]

I've never really heard your karaoke music in the back.

[John Holmberg]

No, I mean, you could do. I'm trying to think, like a great. Like. Like Stairway to Heaven or something. Like a classic.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like something she wouldn't sing, but That's a little too slow. What about Like Smells Like Tea?

[Brady Bogan]

Your Kiss is on my list.

[John Holmberg]

Bruno Mars.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait, I'm sure.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can pull up lyrics just for any song.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

What song you got? No, I'm just Neil Diamond Coming to America. Do you know that one?

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, I'll just do a Motown here.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day oh, my God. When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, that's creepy.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, it's. Okay. All right. I think I could do a better job.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was really good. I don't know that I like Bjork enough to like that. Maybe.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, let's do another.

[John Holmberg]

No, I love that voice, though. That's incredible.

[Brady Bogan]

Have you ever met her?

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Would you like to? Because we have her right here. We didn't know you were gonna do that. Bjork was our next guest, so we had no idea. What a day.

[Dick Toledo]

Can you imagine?

[John Holmberg]

You bitch. What if she hated it? Yeah. What person that you've done an impression of that you were like, hoped like you. If they hated the impression, it would break your heart. Are there any of them? You're like, this is. I don't care if you like it or not. This is good. But like, if somebody's like, I just don't like when you do that.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, I mean, in some way, I guess JLo was like, no, I don't think that's Jennifer Lopez. She didn't. It was.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't. Oh, when you. When she was on. She didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, she didn't think it was Jenny on the Block.

[John Holmberg]

It's not for her to say no. And so she. You didn't do it on the show?

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, I kind of did it in my way for a hoop sketch together, but she didn't.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't think it was good.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I think her brain was so. She's so, like, efficient, like. Like I'm doing. There's not much. She just got a wall cuz to pre. Protect herself.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so she didn't.

[Dick Toledo]

Couldn't really connect, like, on a human level, I think.

[John Holmberg]

So Jennifer was mean to you?

[Dick Toledo]

No, let's not put that out.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say that. No, no, no. It's public.

[Dick Toledo]

She's a tough. She's a big woman. Not a big.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah, mine was much worse. You're right. You're right. I was wrong. Guys, let her finish. This is good.

[Dick Toledo]

She's a very famous person, so I don't understood when you. You have to protect your. Your brain.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure. She's a big woman. Like you said. You don't want to mess with that kind of stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

And the voice did go up too.

[John Holmberg]

You want that big chasing you around. Saturday Night Live. That's crazy hard hitting. Yeah. Oh, man, she's tight. I mean, rough, mean from the street. She's from the block. She'll knock you around. Melissa was afraid of Jennifer Lopez. Breaking news. Is there any that you do that you're worried are going to die or something? That's the crazy part, is when impressions die, like the real person dies, it gets so sad, like, oh, I can't do that anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but Lovett still does his Bob Saget song.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he still sings Bob Saget song. Do you remember the comedian Ralphie May? Yeah. We have Ralphie coming in out from heaven because he used to come on the show a lot. So that's. We have, like, this noise. Hey, what's up, player? How you doing? It's good to see you, Melissa. I hope you kill it someday. Get it out there. Anyway, you guys don't have any food? I'm not interested. Stick around.

[Brady Bogan]

See you later.

[John Holmberg]

Goodbye. We send them back to heaven anytime there's food talk. So, yeah, we have. We have to find ways to make dead people come back to the show.

[Dick Toledo]

So sweet.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's. Is it because we make him horrible? Oh, like you did JLo?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, hey, read this film.

[John Holmberg]

OJ was my favorite thing in the world to do, and he died. Now we have to. Oh, no, I'm not gonna do it. It's your time. I mean, it just hurts that when they die. You haven't had any die. Like when Dolly dies. Oh, Dolly Parton. Your Dolly Parton is magic.

[Dick Toledo]

That might be sad.

[John Holmberg]

You did that on the news on Saturday Night Live and it was magic.

[Dick Toledo]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

It was so good. And you even said, I think. And you've met Dolly. No, you have not. What if she told you she just.

[Dick Toledo]

Tweeted that she didn't like it?

[Brady Bogan]

That big lady would really.

[John Holmberg]

She's a big woman, Melissa. She's old, but she's strong. No, she will knock you out. If Dolly told you across the room. What if Dolly told you she didn't like the impression? What if she sang it to you? Have Dolly sing to you that she doesn't like the impression in the Jolie in the tune of Jolene. It sucks. It sucks.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

That's solid. Britney Spears. You don't care if she doesn't like it. Like I always wondered that. No, it sounds great. Why are you. You're too rough on yourself.

[Dick Toledo]

That was great. I gotta. I gotta sit down and just kind of brush them up a bit more.

[John Holmberg]

Why do you say that? No, I could tell it wasn't to your standard. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody.

[Dick Toledo]

I know what I've done. I know. But I've done it.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And I. I understand that when you. When you. You're not happy with it, but that sounded really good. And you singing it sucks probably didn't help your psych.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, maybe you're right. I hurt my own feelings. That's what happened.

[John Holmberg]

Dolly got mad about the impression. You took it personally.

[Brady Bogan]

A big girl like you should not.

[John Holmberg]

You know, Melissa V is in your Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow. It is. But you're fun. It's fun to have you. I'm glad you changed your mind about radio this week and decided to do the show even though you weren't supposed. You weren't even scheduled till yesterday. Last night at what, 7:00? Came through. Melissa's coming in instead of the guy that was scheduled. Check. I guess she's being forced to do this. Oh, we like the other guy. No, it was. I'm glad. I was very happy that you came through. Yeah. So any words of wisdom that we'd like to hear from you? To change the world. New world has happened. Melissa is in charge of it.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you do first for letting me have this?

[John Holmberg]

The world belongs to you. What do you do first?

[Dick Toledo]

Wait. Or do?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Superpower. You can change anything. You can tell people how to live. You can do something that would make your life better. But like what changes first in the world? Make the world a better place. Your cat's dead.

[Dick Toledo]

For you and for me, right? Michael Jackson.

[John Holmberg]

Just sing a little Michael.

[Dick Toledo]

Just sing Michael Jackson.

[John Holmberg]

You would just. Everyone would sing Michael Jackson at the same time. Can you do Ben? Michael Jackson's Ben.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, remember that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was. That was one of my.

[Dick Toledo]

It's early. Let me try.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. If you can't, I'll chastise you when you leave. Ben. The two of us need. Look no more. We both found what we were looking for. With a friend to come.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

You are doing it. You are doing it. I know.

[Brett Vesely]

Nailed it.

[Dick Toledo]

Thanks, guys.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, guys.

[Brady Bogan]

Gosh, I felt diddled.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I feel like if I was a kid, I'd have had to run.

[Brady Bogan]

I felt like I was being groomed.

[Dick Toledo]

I. I Put him on. This morning when I woke up, Michael Jackson. And I. I think that should be when I walk on. Cuz I. You know, whenever I'm at a club they go, what's your walk on music? When you walk on stage. No, not Ben. I was thinking blame it on the boogie. That's a good one.

[John Holmberg]

Being a weirdo would die laughing. If Ben was. Are We Are the World.

[Dick Toledo]

That would have been. That would be funny. We are the beauty.

[John Holmberg]

What in the world? All right. She's pretty proud of herself.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you see that? The documentary last night in History.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Dick Toledo]

And where they're recording that song with all the celebs and I loved. Who was it? Who co wrote it with him?

[John Holmberg]

It was Lionel Richie. Quincy.

[Dick Toledo]

Lionel. And was that Michael Jackson? Jackson's place? And they were writing the song. Lionel's at the piano. And then Michael goes, you found him. And then Lionel's like, what? Who did it? And then there's that giant snake next to him. And he goes, I was looking everywhere for him. You found him.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, right.

[Dick Toledo]

And then Lionel's like, get this thing away from me. It's a snake.

[John Holmberg]

He was talking about Michael.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Get this thing away from me. Snake and I are having a nice time.

[Brady Bogan]

Stevie Wonder had to follow up in the Grammys to clarify the Swahili.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he didn't say the Swahili. I thought that was my favorite thing of that documentary is that Stevie wanted to sing a line in Swahili and Waylon Jennings goes, that's it. I'm out here, ain't singing African. And he just left. And I'm like, you forget the personalities involved in how the Bob Dylan thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Was talking about checking the ego.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Leave your egos out. Out the door.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that would be a thing. Like if there was like a. Like you could teleport yourself to a day in history. That would be one of them. Because it just to be in that room of just the comments, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

And the fact that they're staying up all night. There is so much powder.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's so much cocaine in there. That's the thing. They're not.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I forgot about that. They didn't include that.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't talk much about that because that would have ruined USA for Africa's.

[Dick Toledo]

Mission in the night to get.

[John Holmberg]

None of your business. What are you, a cop? I don't need you. Yeah, you're right. That's enough. Melissa's gotta go. We gotta get Bjork in here anyway. Melissa. Bsenor Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow. Always a pleasure. Thanks for getting up for this.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, you got it.

[John Holmberg]

Deseretimprov.com It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock nature radio station. He said fully erect. 98. Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Melissa's nice. Everyone should like her. Go see her show. If you can brave the traffic out there at the Phoenix Open. Do it. Look who's here. Brady. He's with us. Host your Guadalupe Squares thriller, Corey Walsh doing, I always want to say Adam Walsh. You're not even familiar with that.

[Corey Walsh]

No, the only one. I know that.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's good. You. We. The reason you're not Adam Walsh is because you're actually here.

[Corey Walsh]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Adam's the one who started basically America's most wanted. His dad was John.

[Corey Walsh]

I know that one.

[John Holmberg]

That's the Adam. That's why I always want to say Adam Walsh.

[Corey Walsh]

I always wonder, I'm like, does he owe money? I hope he does.

[John Holmberg]

Me?

[Corey Walsh]

No, no, no. I say Adam.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, I see.

[Corey Walsh]

Maybe smile. We're like family. I. I just open.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe deep down you could try to find. I don't think you're still getting paid on the Adam story, though. You're trying to glom in on that. You're. You're insane. That means the Guadalupe squares are right around the corner. So get your dialing fingers ready and you can be part of that 585-9800. You can be part of the squares. They're coming. It's the NFL football Super bowl squares today. So we need a girl, we need a boy. We'll get those together. In the meantime, Brady will entertain us all with the entertainment drill brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Get yourself involved in that thing for $199. Two months. Months of training. Everything they offer, it's on a schedule right there at their website. All their classes, everything they've got. 199 bucks. By the way. You can get involved in this thing with personal training. It's not just showing up at the gym and doing your own thing. You're part of this system. Hands on training that's right in front of. You're not getting that price anywhere else. It breaks down to around a little over a buck for every class they are. It's insane. You're not going to do every class, but that's pretty amazing. So you get to pick and choose so many things. To get get in great shape, learn a lot of new things about yourself and learn some self defense that is tried and true. Hundreds and hundreds of years of experience teaching it to you. It's awesome. Reactdefense.com Price you can't beat become a better version of you. A sheepdog, not a sheep. It's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady Bogan]

According to a new poll, America has voted 40Americans.

[John Holmberg]

I can finish this sentence for you. America voted me again. And it was even for like best popcorn trump popcorn. Greatest popcorn.

[Brady Bogan]

And you're in that percentage because 48% of Americans say they definitely will watch the Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

You're actually going, I'm actually gonna be the first president at the Super Bowl. Brady. Amazing. I believe that gonna be unbelievable. Nobody's ever had the courage to go, I'm going and I'm rooting for Patrick Mahomes. I don't like Philadelphia. Quitters used to be the capitol and then they quit on it. They broke the bell and when they broke the bell, they broke my heart. So I'm.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, according to the poll, 29 of the people will be polling for philly opposed to 22% for Kansas City.

[Corey Walsh]

Keep note of who said that.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Corey Walsh]

I'm just saying like if you're a Philly fan and you want Philly to win, I don't want to talk to you.

[John Holmberg]

If you're a Philly fan and you want them to win, that's going hand to hand, right? That's.

[Corey Walsh]

Well, no, there are other people who are like, I want Philly to win because I don't want the Chiefs to win, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see what you said. Yeah. You're just rooting against something rather than for something. Yeah. Nobody likes that you're rooting. Rooting for Philadelphia.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

It seems like that city should be rooted against constantly. What if you're rooting against the Chiefs? There's just not a good enough villain in this story.

[Corey Walsh]

No, not yet.

[Brady Bogan]

I like this one. This poll found that who, what NFL team fans are going to be the drunkest on Super Bowl?

[John Holmberg]

Philadelphia.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope. They found the top five. Coming in at number five is a six way tie.

[John Holmberg]

Well, is that a time?

[Brady Bogan]

Three and a half drinks. Vikings, Jets, Cowboys, Packers, Bears and Eagles.

[Brett Vesely]

Three and a half drinks.

[Brady Bogan]

Bills fans, number four.

[John Holmberg]

Finish your drink.

[Brady Bogan]

3.6 drinks. Giants are number three, Raiders are number two. And the drunken fans during the game will be the Ravens fans.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Drunk in a tears.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that made me so happy you saying that because now I'm thinking of them drinking their sorrows away, watching a. A Super bowl that they're once again not in a day after Lamar Jackson isn't the MVP every everything. And Justin Tuggers out there, he's getting caught doing horrible stuff. Oh, this is all good.

[Brady Bogan]

I said. Cowboy fans are also most likely to miss part of the game because they drank too much. Eagles are next on the list.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

America once again has voted.

[John Holmberg]

Let me take over from here, Brody. I don't know what this is about, but I know I want it. So thank you, America. It's a mandate, Brady. They call that a man.

[Brady Bogan]

America's all time favorite movies.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there it is. I was in Home Alone 2, and I think maybe even Home Alone 1. I don't remember, but I was in one of the two of them. I was in it. America's favorite Movie, Home Alone 1. And 2. They went to 2, hoping that I was in it again like I was in one.

[Brady Bogan]

The average American believes they've watched their favorite movie 38 times.

[John Holmberg]

I also believe that I was in Muppets in Manhattan. I think I was in that as well. Great movie. Number three.

[Brady Bogan]

You want the top five or top ten?

[John Holmberg]

I already gave you three. You just give me a couple more.

[Brady Bogan]

Top five. Dirty Dancing.

[John Holmberg]

America's favorite movie. Yeah, America, pick it up.

[Brady Bogan]

Number four, the Lion King.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great movie.

[Corey Walsh]

This good.

[Brady Bogan]

Number three.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great movie.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, of course.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Titanic.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, calm down.

[Brady Bogan]

Number two. The wizard of Oz.

[Corey Walsh]

How old are the participants?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. That.

[Brady Bogan]

That stands the test, generations.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, it's still good, but we've gone beyond.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett Vesely]

Godfather number one.

[John Holmberg]

Is it force?

[Brady Bogan]

Gump.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Boo.

[Corey Walsh]

I hate that movie personally.

[John Holmberg]

Do you? Why? Because of the braces. Oh, because of the legs. Faster.

[Corey Walsh]

They'll fall off.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Did you try that? Yes. For the win. Hi, Cory. For the win.

[Corey Walsh]

Going to that movie.

[John Holmberg]

Run Faster.

[Corey Walsh]

I hate that movie. It is such a lie.

[John Holmberg]

Corey. Thriller Walls for the win with Run Faster they'll fall off being the world's largest lie.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett. Number two.

[John Holmberg]

Did you try it? Did you put the braces on? You started hauling ass down.

[Corey Walsh]

I had the braces.

[Brett Vesely]

Crap.

[John Holmberg]

You had to wear the braces.

[Corey Walsh]

Mine were plastic, not metal.

[John Holmberg]

But yes, you even had the cheaper version. Well, Force mom did some work your mom wouldn't do.

[Corey Walsh]

No.

[John Holmberg]

So you put the braces on and said, there's a chance if I just try harder.

[Corey Walsh]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Forest.

[Corey Walsh]

You don't tell a kid that.

[Brady Bogan]

I remember my brother had to wear them, but he Couldn't. It was to go to bed. I put him in the braces to feet because it would. They would duck out kind of spread. So they put them in braces to straighten the feet out.

[John Holmberg]

That's just kind of sleeping. Your parents were doing that. So we didn't. So they didn't embarrass them at the country club. Club. They'd have put Corey in the attic.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

God's sakes. They couldn't even handle your. Your brother being duck toed without some sort of contraption. Corey would have been slaughtered at birth. They put him out. What do you think your parents would have done if he'd have fallen out? They'd have kept him in an iron lung or something.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he'd have been all right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Fine.

[John Holmberg]

Show attraction in the backyard for in charge admission.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we'd make some money off him.

[John Holmberg]

Cory hated Forrest Gump because that prick got better.

[Corey Walsh]

The whole movie's a nightmare.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it is a bad like it is. You know it to me. I didn't. I didn't like it when it came out because it became a movie about aids and people didn't really. That was such a ham handed ending to be like disease. They don't know. And I'm like, oh, this whole thing's about aids. Because she had. Jenny was a slut and got what she deserved essentially was what the movie said.

[Brady Bogan]

She was so mean to him.

[John Holmberg]

She's the meanest character in movie history. History. She's worse than the Wicked Witch. Watch Forrest Gump with the idea that Jenny is a narcissistic passive aggressive abuser.

[Corey Walsh]

What about the girl from Castaway who ditched him when he came back?

[John Holmberg]

Horrible woman.

[Brady Bogan]

Helen Hunt.

[John Holmberg]

Helen Hunt, yeah. Horrible woman.

[Brett Vesely]

Chuck Nolan as bad as Jenny though.

[John Holmberg]

Jenny's the worst. Jenny is a clinical sociopath who when only she needed that crippled kind of mentally challenged guy milked when she had hit rock bottom. She was the same as what's her name from Casino. Just an insane person. Ginger. Yeah, it was the. Jenny's the one of the worst movie villains in the history of movies.

[Brady Bogan]

Godfather was number 10. Star Wars 9. Fake news, fast and Furious.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brett Vesely]

See, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

You just.

[Brett Vesely]

It is not legitimate.

[Brady Bogan]

Now Home Alone.

[John Holmberg]

I knew that was in there.

[Brady Bogan]

John Wick, 6.

[Brett Vesely]

You might as well just skip it.

[John Holmberg]

I knew Home Alone would eventually break.

[Brady Bogan]

Through the rock got in there. Rocky was 15.

[Brett Vesely]

Crap.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Need a new news source.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I would burn it. I would cancel this news service. Brady, that one. Rocky at 15 Godfather at 10 and Fast.

[Brett Vesely]

And Fast Furious is 7.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, come on.

[Brady Bogan]

Ozzy will be hitting the stage. The final performance on July 5th. We talked about that.

[John Holmberg]

He won't be standing up.

[Brady Bogan]

Show. He will not be standing up.

[John Holmberg]

Up. It's right. Corey's right. I mean, walk. You can't. You can't just run it away. I tried it in the. Parkinson's got worse, mate. Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, sir?

[John Holmberg]

I put my braces on. The doctor said, you've got to wear these for the rest of your life. I'll show you. I said, forrest Gump has the plan. And went right outside. And Sharon said, oh, so you can't do that. You have to stop when we have them. Did it anyway. And look at me now. I can't even walk. Cory's right.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll get you the Segway.

[John Holmberg]

You Tom Hanks. You made people who feel bad about themselves worse. Let's kill Tom Hanks. Corey, what do you say?

[Corey Walsh]

I mean, he's had a long enough career. We could do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think we're done with him, right?

[Corey Walsh]

He's done.

[Brady Bogan]

On your marks, get set, go.

[John Holmberg]

Races in the corner. They come so it hurts.

[Corey Walsh]

Can I pay you to do it for me?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He can't stand up because Parkinson's put him in a chair now. And they're still going to do that Black Sabbath show. And Ozzy's going to do a set on his own.

[Brett Vesely]

So he's gonna put him, like, in the Drops and Rose's throne or something.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they'll prop him up on something big. And he won't be singing. He hasn't sung for 15 years anyway.

[Brady Bogan]

To be sponsored by Lazy Boy.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's rude. Corey can hear you.

[Corey Walsh]

Thought you're gonna say lays for a second.

[John Holmberg]

Lay's potato chips. I'd go to that.

[Corey Walsh]

As brittle as a chip.

[John Holmberg]

Glory's on fire today. I like it when you make those jokes. We gotta hurry now. Look at how late we are with your wacky interruption. 5, 8 5, 9, 800 will do. The Guadalupe squares. Next, it's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness online at 98 KUPD King. We got to get through this. Damn it, Corey, it's on you.

[Corey Walsh]

Yep, a thousand percent. I went way too off on Forrest Gump there.

[John Holmberg]

Way too long on your Forest Gump. Check they landed. But damn it all, Corey, let's not tell him to be quiet. Let's tell him to tell his Jokes faster. That's all. Run, Corey, run.

[Brady Bogan]

Take the braces off those jokes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Literally.

[Corey Walsh]

Let it. Let it run free.

[John Holmberg]

Run, Corey, run. It is time for your Guadalupe squares. Here is the host of your squares, Mr. Thriller Walsh. Thriller.

[Corey Walsh]

Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin. Top left square for Sunday. We got Patrick Mahomes all Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

I just can't wait. Sunday gonna get him. Got a game on there Sunday.

[Brady Bogan]

Who's gonna win?

[John Holmberg]

Chief's gonna win it. Brady. We got that teams out there gonna do that. Bundle.

[Brady Bogan]

Rooski.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna do a couple plays out there. Can't wait. And I just got to get everything together, make my. My team shine. What do we get? Three in a row. That'll be four for me.

[Brady Bogan]

Be amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Keep it together. I don't know who you're rooting for right now. How you root for Philadelphia, A bunch of crooks and stuff like that. So I can sing a little song for you. Move right along in search of good times, good news, good friends. You can't lose this could become a habit. Opportunity, Knox, won't you reach out and grab it? Yeah, gather we'll nab it, we'll hitchhike bus or yellow cabbage. President Trump's here. Moving right along. Foot loose and fancy free. Get in there is half the fun. Come share it with me. That's what we're gonna do. Sue Bow, we're moving on. People say I sound a little like Fozzie Bear. So I got out of my way to do that this time. There. I'm in the President's Square now.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, apparently he took a spot. Looks like.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I decided to move over at Cory's suggestion from this square all the way over to the upper right square, where things are better. This square smells like urine and four years of failure.

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, we're happy to have you. We'll get to you in a moment. But first off, between you two, we got Ray Lewis. Top middle square.

[John Holmberg]

Football season is here. It's good to see you, Cory. What's up, Bray?

[Brady Bogan]

Ray, how you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Brady? Football. Super bowl. I won two of those, actually. Should have won five to seven of those. Five? Two. My number. Seven can't be wrong. You MVP. I was MVP. Super Bowl. Whatever. One happened in 2000, that's what I was MVP of. Corey. Yes. Five of us. Two is what?

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, seven.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Seven. Yes. How many numbers am I holding up with my fingers?

[Corey Walsh]

Barely seven can't be wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

One of them.

[John Holmberg]

Amazing game. I play with people. You're so Blessed, so blessed by the Lord.

[Corey Walsh]

I'll top on. Over to the top right square. Up next. President Trump is exactly right.

[John Holmberg]

The upper right presidential square. Upper right, where everything goes right. This is a good place for me. Presidential squares moved to the right. Elon and I decided as co presidents that this would be the right thing to do. It's much more efficient. Square up here in the right.

[Brady Bogan]

You're close to the Doge.

[John Holmberg]

I'm closer to Doge and closer to Elon. President Elon, I really like what he's doing.

[Corey Walsh]

Hope you enjoy the new digs.

[John Holmberg]

$40 million for some sort of lesbian transvestite play in Peru. Those days are over. Now. The upper right square, much more efficient. DEI square over. How's it efficient? We got. It's much more efficient. Found out the other day. It's much more efficient. Plus, plus we don't have to pay for the cleaning of what Biden left behind. A lot of feces stains, urine, and for some reason he had a lot of, like, grease on the walls. I don't know what he was eating over there, but it was.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank you. Serve pro.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. We'll get it together. Somebody will do it. But now it's Patrick Mahomes Square. He can have it. This is a new clean square going.

[Corey Walsh]

On with legendary players here. A middle left Square. We got O.J.

[John Holmberg]

Simpson. It's good to be back here. How you guys doing? Number one. Number one show in all of America is the O.J. documentary. I think that's amazing. Now let's. Let's break that down. I not killed those two people. Well, allegedly. I always forget that word since I. Since I actually did the murders, it's hard for me to remember to pretend I did not. Anyway, since that happened, Cuba Gooding Jr. Won an award playing me. That wouldn't have happened had I not killed him. Documentary wouldn't have happened had I not killed him. Netflix doesn't make that money had I not killed him. So let me be the first to say, you're welcome.

[Corey Walsh]

And when is it a net positive?

[John Holmberg]

Ted Soros, or whatever your name is, Sarando host that's running Netflix. You're welcome. You've been milking the juice longer than I let that lady bleed out on a porch. All right. Hey, by the way, Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs are going to win another Super Bowl.

[Brady Bogan]

Give us a score.

[John Holmberg]

Score is going to be Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs 35. And they're going to kill the Eagles. Just kill them. Leave them dead on the patio, 35 to 14. I'll say. That's going to be. Wow. They're going to just slaughter them. They're just going to cut their heads off and leave them for dead. Right there. In New Orleans, have you ever picked scores that aren't slaughters? Well, that's. It's a. It's a bloodbath is what I'm saying over there. And if I know what a bloodbath looks like, man, I tell you what, you gotta trust me when I say that. Yeah, they're gonna slice right through the defense regularly and just get to the end game. Just get out of there. Drive as fast as they can to the other end. There you go. And then go home.

[Corey Walsh]

Up next here in the middle square, we got a wasted open. Brie getting ready for the weekend. You won't talking.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to the open again. And.

[Corey Walsh]

And you're not driving right out of the way.

[John Holmberg]

Careful, I'm filming this. Hey, film away. You know. You know what I think of your filming? I think you're. That's what I think you are. And they should cut your head off. Oh, man.

[Corey Walsh]

Has that always been inside you, Brady?

[John Holmberg]

Hey, pipe down. Hop along. A man's talk. Oh, Jesus. Ah. Run, Corey, run. You'll get better.

[Corey Walsh]

Well, we still love you. Regard.

[Brady Bogan]

Ah, you know what?

[John Holmberg]

If you. Hey, what's that book by that guy, Mein Kampf? I've heard a lot of good things. I'm drunk.

[Brady Bogan]

At the Open.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we whites do. Oh, your daughter's watching this video. My daughter. She's marching around the backyard, being a good one. Did you say marching? Well, she supposed he's doing. What was that documentary I watched this weekend again? Was it the OJ one? No, you're child's play. 1488 thing.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a Korean brotherhood of.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. That's what we're watching out there at the Phoenix Open. Because that's who. That's what us drunks do at the wasted open. Did you just have a moment of clarity? Yeah, that was my cleanup voice.

[Corey Walsh]

He's a professional.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. See you at the Open out there. Well, sorry.

[Corey Walsh]

Don't make too much of a mess here.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna get some out there.

[Brett Vesely]

Damn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right, all right. Damn.

[Corey Walsh]

Up next here, middle right square, we got. Wait a second. I wrote down Belichick. I couldn't read my own handwriting because.

[John Holmberg]

Belichick, head coach, North Carolina.

[Corey Walsh]

Yes. And nothing else.

[Brady Bogan]

Luckiest man in the world.

[John Holmberg]

Luckiest man in the world. You see my girlfriend last night, Corey?

[Corey Walsh]

I. I did. And I have questions still.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, go ahead.

[Corey Walsh]

Are you paying for her tuition?

[John Holmberg]

Yep. I'm paying for everything.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Smells like vanilla and glitter. Smell my fingers. Glitter.

[Brady Bogan]

Can I get some of that serum?

[John Holmberg]

I'll get some serum. Young up your wife. Last night I finished up the front side and I said, we're onto the anus. She goes back door. Can't think about you that way. I got seven rings around my fingers. And none of them are super bowl because they all go in. Just letting you know.

[Corey Walsh]

Well, main with the plan, as always, good luck. Bottom left, square, we have Brady. Secret square.

[John Holmberg]

What's up, guys?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm 64 years old. I'm the lead singer of Motley Crue.

[John Holmberg]

You want a song? No, that's the last thing. That's the last thing.

[Brett Vesely]

It was Mahomes going down to the other square.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, give me credit. At least I stay on pitch.

[Corey Walsh]

Well, happy to have you. Let's hop on over now into our bottom, middle square, we have Chris Rock alongside us.

[John Holmberg]

It's my birthday. Why did you tell everybody how old I am?

[Corey Walsh]

60, right?

[John Holmberg]

Smack in 60. I'll tell you what, being 60 years old, baby, so you don't want to get hit by nobody, that's for sure. Happy birthday. Happy NFL super bowl squares. I don't even know why I'm here. It's my birthday.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, Happy birthday. We love having you. But to end things off by the white square, Our Lord and Savior Tripper.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm at the open, too, but I can. I can control myself.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you want to be hanging out with Brady?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I gotta keep an eye on him. Everybody's gotta babysit Brady up at this. That's making fun of cripples. He's done it before. I noticed you didn't let him wear anything that says Hubbard Radio on it. No, he's wearing I Heart. Everything Brady has on says I Heart on it. Because after two drinks, he's gonna embarrass us all with his very pointed racist views. I'm throw a punch at Larry. Yeah, no, he'll do that. He'll throw a beer at him in a punch. It's tradition. All right.

[Corey Walsh]

At least you know what to do.

[John Holmberg]

Thriller head.

[Corey Walsh]

All right, let's start off here.

[John Holmberg]

We lost. Oh, we lost a guy. Perfect. Because we're late. All right, all right. Well, Michael, one question. If you get it right, you win. Michael, if you get this right, you win. What square would you like to choose? Let's see. I Can't take Bella sheet. Let's go with Trump. That's a great way to close out the squares. All these. All these guys are never here.

[Corey Walsh]

Always an option.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, a Super bowl attendee. That's me. Graham Gates. You go to the Super Bowl? No, you're not. I am. No, I'm not.

[Brady Bogan]

How are your seats?

[John Holmberg]

Excellent. Best seats ever. Golden Thrones. We're gonna build me and Elon and watch Golden Thrones. Our seats are incredible.

[Corey Walsh]

So are you gonna sing during the halftime show and say all the words?

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna sing all of the Kendrick Lamar stuff. All the N's and the F's and the homo F's and all the others. Nuclear going nukes. Going full nukes. I'm gonna throw it out there, doing my little dance, saying the N word. A lot of the N word gonna be said at halftime. A lot of N words.

[Corey Walsh]

Well, we're a little tight on time here. I got a quick question.

[John Holmberg]

Tight on time. Not too. Not too tight to throw in a halftime show filled with N words. Lots of them. And they're gonna bleep them out. America's gonna sing along and a lot of you are gonna lose your jobs. And that's because they're government jobs and cutting. I got. I got tape on all of them. So. Go ahead, Kendrick. Freedom of speech. Knock em stiff.

[Corey Walsh]

The first use of the acronym OMG was by King Edward in a letter to Britain's Prime Minister. True or false?

[John Holmberg]

King Edward threw an OMG out on an old scroll. I'm struggling to believe that to be true. True. I'm pretty sure that Elon and I invented that OMG when we were tweeting away back before he turned it into X. All right, so I'll say that's false. There's no way anybody back in olden times OMG'd.

[Corey Walsh]

All right, Michael, do you agree or disagree with false?

[John Holmberg]

Well, who can disagree with Trump? He is correct and you are correct. That's exactly right. Champion. Big win. Championship win. Since we lost the girl. Nice job. Excellent. I know about losing a girl. What happened to Miranda? She just disappeared.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You cut her off the line. I cut her off. Off. I caught her lie. She didn't come here with a knife. She'd be alive today. You were defending yourself. I just was thinking about something else. Anyway, watch the documentary. I'm number one on Netflix again. World's most popular person. And I haven't been alive for eight months. What's your residual on that? Oh, I don't know. I'm sure Justin's getting a nice check, though. And again, my family. You're welcome. Hey, Fred Goldman. Enjoy your check. It's Netflix number one. I don't know how goo got the money. Is he an executive producer? Every time they show me slaughtering his son. Does he get a dollar? You're welcome. Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

Caring.

[John Holmberg]

He's dead. What's he got to lose now? All right, let's get the hell out of here. Way to keep it moving, Corey.

[Corey Walsh]

Yep. All we gotta do, we gotta keep stay on track somehow.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. Gotta keep this. Keep, keep the wheels churning. I don't like you in the hamster wheel. But you know what? You did a good job today. You going anywhere this weekend?

[Corey Walsh]

This weekend? No, I'm not going to the open or anything.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not asking personally as you. Women's basketball. Yeah. Yeah, that's tomorrow. That's the big plan. Who they play?

[Corey Walsh]

Let's see. I think it's Montana.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, that barn burner. How could they not?

[Brady Bogan]

Are there any other tickets I'd like to go to?

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, there are plenty. Yeah, if you want some. Plenty of seats available if you want more tickets. They got a lot for baseball right now.

[John Holmberg]

Is it in Montana? You don't know? No, no. Wow.

[Corey Walsh]

I know my shift.

[Brett Vesely]

Nor does he care.

[Corey Walsh]

I know my shift.

[John Holmberg]

He knows my shift. He said. I thought he said something else to sir.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

I know my shift. I gotta say this to our listeners. Andy and Stacy just said we had to put our 20 year old boy down this morning. Such a good boy. Just wondering if I can get a shout out for Potato before you leave. And everybody give your doggies and cats some extra treats today for Andy and Stacy. They're going through it and we're all. And Zeus said Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. And Zeus is. Yeah, go to that Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. Zeus is an amazing dog. His family got sick and couldn't take care of him anymore. His owner. And so he needs a new home. He's in a foster family right now. He's awesome. Played with him yesterday. Go to 98kupd.com check out the lost Our homepage and see if Zeus is right for you. Already trained, super sweet, little shy, but he'll get used to you once he gets used to. He's awesome. Three years old, beautiful boxer mix. And Zeus fell on hard times because his family met with medical issues. And that's what's so great about Lost Our Home is that people who you know get sick and can't take care of their pets. They hold them for a while until they can't, and then make the decision. It ain't easy. So there you go, Andy and Stacy. Sorry you're going through that. Nobody else has anything going on this weekend. All right.

[Corey Walsh]

Actually double checked the basketball. Actually is U of A this week.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's the rivalry. Still no one cares. Amazing.

[Corey Walsh]

It's over in Tucson.

[John Holmberg]

Make the trip okay. Yeah, make that trip down. Everybody wants to go to Tucson for women's basketball. How did you make Tucson worse? Anyway, that's it for us. We're done. Have a great day. We'll see you on Monday. So long. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.