02-07-25 - Phoenix Open Has Us Thinking That Maryvale Was Once The Scottsdale Of The Westside And Wondering What Happened To It Since

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: Phoenix Open Has Us Thinking That Maryvale Was Once The Scottsdale Of The Westside And Wondering What Happened To It Since Release Date: February 7, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg along with Brady Bogan, Brett Vessel, and Dick Toledo dive deep into the intriguing transformation of Maryvale. Once hailed as the "Scottsdale of the Westside," the hosts explore the factors that led to its decline and contrast it with the flourishing Scottsdale area. The discussion is peppered with humor, sharp observations, and notable quotes that provide listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary.

Comparing Scottsdale and Maryvale

The heart of the conversation revolves around the stark differences between Scottsdale and Maryvale, two neighborhoods situated merely 15 miles apart. The hosts ponder how Maryvale, once a promising area, couldn't replicate Scottsdale's success.

• Brady Bogan ([02:53]): "If Trump sees this, there's going to be a Trump Tower out in Scottsdale. He's going to put, we're going to turn that into the Desert Riviera. It's going to be like the Gaza Strip will be in five to 10 years."

Bogan humorously suggests that political influence could further enhance Scottsdale's prominence, leaving Maryvale in its wake.

Driving and Safety Issues in Maryvale

Safety, particularly wrong-way driving, is highlighted as a pressing issue during allergy season. The hosts link the increased traffic mishaps to the seasonal fluctuations in Maryvale.

• John Holmberg ([00:35]): "My theory starts to be tested once again as the allergy medicine starts to go off the shelves if you're allowed to buy it. And then people start wrong way driving a lot more often."

This observation sets the stage for discussing broader societal challenges faced by Maryvale.

Housing and Development Disparities

A significant portion of the episode delves into the real estate differences between Scottsdale and Maryvale. The hosts discuss how housing quality, economic investments, and community initiatives have diverged, leading to Scottsdale's upscale image and Maryvale's struggles.

• Brady Bogan ([04:10]): "Maryville, you got screwed. It had to start somewhere. Maryville, you did this to yourselves."

Bogan emphasizes personal accountability in Maryvale's decline, attributing it to local decisions rather than external factors alone.

Local Sports Facilities and Events

The conversation shifts to local sports, particularly the Phoenix Open and the Brewers Facility in Maryvale. The hosts express frustration over the lack of investment and interest in Maryvale's sports infrastructure compared to other areas.

• Brady Bogan ([14:47]): "Maryvale is the fat girl at the end of the bar at 2am except when you get to her trailer or her weird apartment, you have to tiptoe through to bang her because you got nine kids, you might wake up."

While humorous, this remark underscores the neglected state of Maryvale's recreational facilities and its impact on community engagement.

Super Bowl Reflections

Towards the latter part of the episode, the hosts reflect on the Super Bowl's diminishing excitement in the region, attributing it to repetitive matchups and a lack of engaging narratives.

• John Holmberg ([31:34]): "In a poll, 30% of people said their favorite part is the game. 17% tune in mostly for commercials."

This statistic leads to a broader discussion on the cultural significance of the Super Bowl and its evolving place in Arizona's social landscape.

Conclusions and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts offer a blend of cynicism and hope for Maryvale's future. They lament the missed opportunities and the deep-rooted issues that have hindered its growth but also hint at potential for revitalization through community effort and strategic investments.

• Brady Bogan ([37:06]): "And it's like, oh, the bad guy. Bond movies are not about James Bond. They're about the Adversary. If it's an uninteresting bad guy, the movie sucks."

Using a metaphor from popular culture, Bogan suggests that the absence of compelling challenges or "adversaries" has left Maryvale stagnant, much like a movie loses its edge without a formidable antagonist.

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Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg ([00:35]): "My theory starts to be tested once again as the allergy medicine starts to go off the shelves..."
• Brady Bogan ([02:53]): "If Trump sees this, there's going to be a Trump Tower out in Scottsdale."
• Brady Bogan ([04:10]): "Maryville, you got screwed. It had to start somewhere."
• Brady Bogan ([14:47]): "Maryvale is the fat girl at the end of the bar at 2am..."
• John Holmberg ([31:34]): "In a poll, 30% of people said their favorite part is the game."
• Brady Bogan ([37:06]): "If it's an uninteresting bad guy, the movie sucks."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a candid and entertaining exploration of Maryvale's challenges juxtaposed against Scottsdale's success. Through sharp wit and relatable anecdotes, the hosts provide listeners with a comprehensive understanding of the socio-economic dynamics at play, making it a must-listen for those interested in Arizona's urban development and community narratives.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to two.

[Brady Bogan]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name is John Holberg. There's Brady Bogan. There's Brett Vessel. And around here somewhere as our own big Dick Toledo. And another perfect day. Although a little weirdness from the 80 degrees starts that you start to feel those something in the air allergies are starting. Oh, that's gonna be a good one. Which means one thing and one thing only. My theory starts to be tested once again as the allergy medicine starts to go off the shelves if you're allowed to buy it. And then people start wrong way driving a lot more often. It's usually allergy season when the wrong way driving starts. That's been my theory for a few years, is we could fix this if in fact we could figure out how to get these allergies out of the air. Because I have a feeling that's something about something for sure. So my eyes are burning this morning. Something out there gotta stand in this mess tomorrow. Starting to smell things. Trees are getting confused like they got little green nubs on them. It's gonna freeze them out again.

[John Holmberg]

Broccoli.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there's little weird bubbles on trees and eyes are on fire. But that's all right. Watched a little that Phoenix open yesterday and my God, you got nothing over there.

[Brett Vessel]

I got it now.

[Brady Bogan]

I think there it is. Hang on. No, it's the wrong thing. It switched him up. I tried something new. That's right.

[Brett Vessel]

This place.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it was me this time. That was me. I goofed you up. Sorry about that.

[Brett Vessel]

You smell the sisu trees out there yet or.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, no. Still. You know what? We're gonna get the emails that those aren't the ones that smell like human semen. But we'll always remember the sisu poor sisu tree mislabeled as the semen smeller. When it's some sort of beet or bean tree, it'll always be the sisu treats me. But they still, I haven't smelled one yet. Then usually end of February, they start stinking. Your whole neighborhood starts smelling like, did I change my pants? What is this? But, yeah, so there's something out there. But, man, watching the Phoenix open a little on TV yesterday and you're like, I want to move back here again. It's so beautiful looking at that thing. What a great looking, perfect. We're just great on tv. We're photogenic. Our city. It's just a beautiful thing.

[John Holmberg]

There's no filters needed.

[Brady Bogan]

No. If Trump sees this, there's going to be a Trump Tower out in Scottsdale. He's going to put, we're going to turn that into the Desert Riviera. It's going to be like the Gaza Strip will be in five to 10 years. We're going to buy Scottsdale and just make it everything we've always wanted and we're going to blow up Maryvale and we're going to do the same there. Because if Scottsdale can look that good, how come Maryvale looks like that? I mean, they're really like 15 miles apart. How can one look that bad and one look that? It's like sisters, you know, it's. It's like Ivanka and the other one. I've got Tiffany. How can they be so different and yet from the same exact lines? It doesn't make any sense to anyone. Maryvale, Scottsdale, Maryville. You're the fat, weird Tiffany of the Trump family, whereas Ivanka's out there just looking great every day on television, I think. Unbelievable. It is. It's weird because you look over there and you see it's just dumb luck that the darts fell, landed on Scottsdale and go, this is the beautiful place. And then Maryvale was like, it's the same spot. How did someone muck it up that badly? How can you. How can you look at Scottsdale and say, no, no, no, they're doing it all wrong? What this place needs is more smoke and vape shops. It's like, how in the world did Maryvale, 15 miles from Scottsdale look so drastically different? Doesn't make sense.

[Brett Vessel]

Maryville, you got screwed.

[Brady Bogan]

And I know you can say money, but it had to start somewhere. Maryville, you did this to yourselves. You guys had just the same opportunities as Scottsdale and Scottsdale ran with the exact same stuff. It's just, it's. It's proof that there's no even keel anything. It's that old theory. If everybody was broke or everybody had all their money taken away and you gave everyone $150,000, the people who were successful before you took their money away would find it again. And the people who weren't would lose it again. It's like, it's. It's innate. It's inherent in you, that you will end up where you are. Because of you, Mary Vale, you did it to yourself. Yeah. You did it to yourselves. Like, how come we can't beat Scottsdale at their own game? We even build a beautiful golf course and try to attract incredible women with fake cans. And Mary, are there any fake cans in Maryville? I would venture to guess the percentage. No, we're not living there. Where? You think there are fake breasts somewhere in Maryvale that live there? I don't. I think with maybe all the meth strippers.

[John Holmberg]

West side. Yes. Dancers, you're gonna have to have some there.

[Brady Bogan]

Even then, they're not living in Maryvale. They're trying to get out the reason they put boobs in in the first place, because they realized there was a way out.

[John Holmberg]

Seen Bad Barbie?

[Brady Bogan]

She's got millions. More than both of us. Yeah. But before that, she didn't have fake boobs.

[Brett Vessel]

Why? I think there's a liquor store on the other corner.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly what it is. It's boys in the hood. Bad Barbie had huge cans when she was 13. She was getting out of wherever she was. Naturally she was on Dr. Phil and people were like, what's going on there? This is girls huge cans. And he's like, I just think it's.

[John Holmberg]

Common now that everyone jumps in on that.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think. I don't think Maryvale has anyone there that has them. If they've got them, they're not living in Maryvale anymore. You buy those things to get out of Maryvale. You don't buy fake cans to waste on parading around in Maryvale. You're going to attract Maryvale guys. That keeps you in the exact same spot you put a pair of cans in when you live in Maryville to get out. It's your ticket away. I don't think anyone. I'm going to go out on a limb and say zero. I'm going to say it's 100%. No fake boobs. Live permanently in Maryville. And I'll tell you this. I'll guarantee you this one. Nobody who put fake boobs in did it to move to Maryvale. Nobody said, I'm going to put these cans in. Going to get a nice place in Maryvale. It's not happening. It's just socioeconomically not occurring.

[John Holmberg]

I guarantee part of town is its west side. Is GCU in that area.

[Brady Bogan]

A little further over?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think it's further.

[Brady Bogan]

They're closed. They're close.

[Brett Vessel]

Well, GCU's because.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know a lot. I mean, because you could say that, you know, oh, there's a Tom or a lot more in Gilbert.

[Brady Bogan]

Fake boots.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vessel]

100.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a lot more.

[John Holmberg]

But there's pockets in Gilbert that would. You know, I don't spend a ton of time in Maryville.

[Brady Bogan]

Of course not. There's nothing to look at.

[Brett Vessel]

Why would you.

[John Holmberg]

There's some old school cribs over there.

[Brady Bogan]

Stop it, sir.

[John Holmberg]

Money in Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Go yourself. Trying to make Maryvale something that's been.

[John Holmberg]

To the places you're talking about.

[Brady Bogan]

You have?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Where?

[John Holmberg]

Going through Maryville.

[Brady Bogan]

We've all driven through it and go, ooh, never coming back here again. Yeah.

[Brett Vessel]

You step on it.

[Brady Bogan]

Of course. Yeah. You act. Yeah. It's the. What is wrong with you? I've been to other places. I've seen that. You haven't stopped.

[John Holmberg]

You've been everywhere.

[Brady Bogan]

You've searched for, like a place that'll trade Kung Walk chicken for barbecue sauce. You've tried to find Maryvale's gems. You don't go to Maryvale. Stop it. No, stop it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't say I go to.

[Brady Bogan]

You just did. I've been through Brett. Did he not just say, I've been to the places? I go to the places. Come on. You're trying to dress up Maryville and I'm saying there's no fake there because why would you.

[Brett Vessel]

Matter of fact, keep Maryville dressed? I don't want to see.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly. Even the plastic surgeon say get out. Where? What's your. I see your address is Maryville. It is. Why are you here? Well, I want to improve my look. Are you moving out of Maryville? That. That's a start. Let me save you some money.

[Brett Vessel]

Plastic surgeon. Oh, my God. I got to go to Home Depot and pick up some supplies for this.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the thing. Plastic surgery in Maryvale. Okay, I'll change my. No. Legal implants have been put in like there's been some DIYs done and even then, that's to escape Maryville. Yes. We're being a little rough on Maryville, but you're a little rough on us. Let's be honest. Maryville is. And again you start looking at it when it all started. Are you looking for how many fake girls are in Maryvale? What are you searching right now?

[John Holmberg]

Chicken restaurant. What is the town Maryville. Is that named after that?

[Brett Vessel]

I actually didn't. I've heard that. I think it was the guy, John F. Lawn, that was the big guy. Apparently his wife was named Mary and he was the big developer. He tried. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And for some reason they just blew it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Then Scottsdale, it's a bunch of cheap.

[Brett Vessel]

Houses like once World War II was over. And then, well, there's your problem.

[Brady Bogan]

You get what you pay for and you draw in what you do. Put in the word cheap housing, and the next thing you know, people who don't have enough money to put in fake show up, you blast out some high end housing. And this girl's like, this must be an expensive place where I can get a husband that actually has a job. She puts in fake cans, she moves to Scottsdale. That's the key to success. Geographically, topographical maps must include where all the fake cans are. Brady and his Maryvale honeys.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just saying this is not. It's not a no hitter.

[Brady Bogan]

It's zero. I just looked it up. Zero percent just looked it up. Now shut the up. It's zero. Then go over there and try to try to go find some cans. You take this whole week, I'll give you $100,000, you bring me a woman with a job and fake cans who looks like she could fit in in Scottsdale, who's staying in Maryville. She loves it.

[John Holmberg]

There's too many things in there.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, no. Because I'm right. Now find me a woman who looks great with fake cans who's staying in Scottsdale. How hard is that?

[John Holmberg]

Not at all.

[Brady Bogan]

It's all of them. Because that's a destination. Nobody says they put these fake cans in. I can't wait to meet a nice guy here in Maryville. And by the way, I'm never leaving. It's not happening.

[John Holmberg]

Love this town.

[Brady Bogan]

Can't wait to get the out. You wouldn't put fake cans in and then wander around Maryville. You're just going to get the kidnapped. You're going to get killed.

[Brett Vessel]

David said Maryville's the fat girl at the bar at the end of the night.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's not. Maryvale is the crippled girl with the fat girl that somehow you have to figure out how to load into a van before you can bang the fat girl. It's A bad night. Now, John De Pascali has a good point. Maryville has giant natural Mexican breasts over there. That's very true. That's very true.

[Brett Vessel]

With a kid swinging from each.

[Brady Bogan]

But if it's a girl. Exactly. And she's only 17. To quote winger. Yeah. It says Andre says GCU is right on quote. The blade. Look it up. They don't even call it a boundary or a blade. It's the edge of Maryvale. The blade didn't even call it a boundary. You cross the blade, if you live.

[Brett Vessel]

Anywhere there's a blade, move immediately.

[Brady Bogan]

We got across the blade. Go over to some decent area. Yeah. Thank you. Andrew, you straighten up. Yeah. Nobody goes. I'm getting a little plastic surgery. I'm gonna have my face done, my cans, and I'm gonna move to Maryvale. No, zero, Brady. I'm right, zero. You're right there, zero. And yes. Maybe someone who originated in Maryvale, although I think this number may be pushing 0 as well. Has got enough money to get a nice boob job and then move somewhere else. I don't. Or stays there, for Christ's sake. No, you have to get out of there. Go to Scottsdale. Realize, okay, I gotta make some Scottsdale money to fit in here. Doesn't make Scottsdale miss. It does. It does. I was gonna say doesn't make it better, but yes it does. A lot. Yeah, this says. What about south Scottsdale? There are drive up liquor stores, sex shops and check cashing places. Sure, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone, every town has its pocket.

[Brett Vessel]

Maryville don't.

[Brady Bogan]

Maryvale even Maryville has a bad pocket.

[John Holmberg]

Maryville.

[Brady Bogan]

There is Maryville, though. Come on.

[Brett Vessel]

Yeah, the whole thing's a bad pocket.

[Brady Bogan]

There are spots of Maryvale. People in Maryville are like, I'm not going in there. And that's Maryvale talking. Somewhere inside the blades.

[Brett Vessel]

I never heard of the blade either.

[Brady Bogan]

But I like it a lot. The blade. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe the blade is a business. You don't cross past the blade or you're in with us normals. Look, Maryville. We pull up the most expensive house.

[John Holmberg]

From Maryville and Zillow.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they're going to be a couple that are trying to pretend.

[John Holmberg]

It's got to be some farmhouses or something.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know, it's too centralized. I don't even think they. You're thinking that it's way out there. It's right in the middle, man. There's.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it's spread out pretty good, but it's.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't Know where the blades are.

[Brett Vessel]

Pull up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the blade. Well, we don't want.

[Brady Bogan]

We know. Well, we know an area of blade close to the blade. But I mean, again, it's just that weird. I mean, they're not far apart. How can it look so different? You know, Los Angeles has a load of that. We're like, how can this be five miles from this? You know, it's just a strange way that it all. You know when the. When the whole thing was thrown out onto the floor. Just where they landed was odd. Was. Did Maryville ever have a chance to be the Mecca? No. Morning sickness medicate Holmberg's morning sickness, but it's just because of where it is, which is no different than anywhere else. It's. It's just such a strange thing. When you see aerial shots of the city, it's stunning. Scottsdale's just stunning. Everything about it. And I know if it was money, but why did money go there and not Maryville? It looks the.

[John Holmberg]

It looks developing and even further west, but that's, you know, the.

[Brady Bogan]

It looked the same when it started.

[John Holmberg]

Web property started.

[Brady Bogan]

All that stuff you can camera shoot the same way. Would have all looked exactly the same 80 years ago. All of it. Some reason that looks the way it does. And you know, it's the plastic surgery of the land. Scottsdale got good plastic surgeons. Maryvale got DIY days in projects going on. Pretty weird. Anyway, Scottsdale, you look beautiful on TV and you're making us look good. But in the end, it's gonna bring more people who live in Maryville. And that's the thing. Yeah. Maryvale is the fat girl at the end of the bar at 2am except when you get to her trailer or her weird apartment, you have to tiptoe through to bang her because you got nine kids, you might wake up. Yeah, that's exactly it. They don't have money for boobs. Their boobs have already been ruined. Maryville is the place where the girl you banged once text you, I just want to talk. And when she shows up, she's got a shotgun and another guy. The worst part of Maryvale, John. I think we can all agree. The brewers facility. Absolutely. And I don't even know about this, Brett. I don't know that we'll ever learn it. I've never. I'm not going to a spring with all that there is in spring training in Arizona. Why would you go to the stadium in Maryvale when you've got the beautiful talking stick, you've got Camelback Ranch, You've got the Cubby's, Sloan park, all the. And then the one in Maryville. Why would you go there? Why? Why? Other than being an awful.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I was asked to go there.

[Brady Bogan]

I would have said no. By whom?

[Brett Vessel]

I've been to most parks in the valley.

[Brady Bogan]

I've not been.

[Brett Vessel]

One I have not been to.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been to all of them, I think. I don't think the reds one I haven't been to either. But that's fine. It's just too far away. But I've been to Camelback Ranch. I've been to surprise the reds and guardians. Yeah, I've been to all the rest of them. I will never probably say. And the reason why is I don't want to see the Maryvale lawn sunbathing.

[Brett Vessel]

It's not gonna be fake cans on that one.

[Brady Bogan]

It would be more attractive to go up to the Fisherman's Wharf and watch those sea lions sunning themselves in San Francisco. There's a nice $295,000 property Brett's found.

[Brett Vessel]

Up there that's up for auction too.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's. Of course it's behind on payments, so it's nice bread. Is it a nice spread? No, you should drag the family over there.

[Brett Vessel]

Patio furniture in the front yard is what does it for me.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the front yard.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, you can tell by the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I guess maybe not set up like the backyard.

[Brady Bogan]

It's 1100 square feet. You're not getting much for your money there. Three bedrooms and two baths in 1100 square feet.

[Brett Vessel]

Oh, here's the high rent district.

[Brady Bogan]

I think this is. Wow, we're up into the four hundreds over there. That's.

[Brett Vessel]

Somebody's trying to redo that.

[Brady Bogan]

But you know what? They're, they're over asking to see if they can drive the prices up.

[Brett Vessel]

Price cut was 16k already.

[Brady Bogan]

The key to that Zillow moment is to click on look around and then you see the houses next to it and you're like, oh, no, no, no, no. If I'm spending 400 grand, I'm not doing it here. Yeah, do the. You're trying to find.

[Brett Vessel]

Google Map it.

[Brady Bogan]

Google map it and then do a look around. Because when you do the look around, the dudes across the street with the west side gang signs and the lokes on and the shirt and they're blurred out faces because somehow another somebody's job at Google's to blur out faces. I'm just saying. It's just awfully weird that 80 years ago the landscape of this Place looked pretty much the same. I'll say 100. Because 80 years ago, pretty much the same. And then Scottsdale did what it did and Maryvale did what it did.

[Brett Vessel]

There was before that.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the before. So before the redo. There's the look around. You know, it's okay. But you're still in Maryvale. You're close to the Blade.

[Brett Vessel]

There's a nice.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there's the neighbors with the stolen car in the front yard. And then you got those iron screen doors or whatever those things are. To let you know, probably not the best place. You get an iron screen door with a silver deadbolt on top of it. That's just to let people know I'm gonna make it. I gotta give you two doors to break into to get into my house. How about those Brewers? I bet you that has something to do with free agent signings.

[Brett Vessel]

What, Maryville?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vessel]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Where. Where do the brewers stay when they're here? I bet it isn't Maryvale.

[Brett Vessel]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

I bet you they bus in from far out.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know when the Reds.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Brennaman just loved the wigwam.

[Brady Bogan]

He'd stay there, but did the. Stay there?

[Brett Vessel]

Sure. The good ones do.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not sure. He's just driving. He's not even doing games. He's doing one.

[John Holmberg]

He was.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, yeah. Spring training. He's maybe covering a couple games, but he's.

[John Holmberg]

He's there for a couple weeks.

[Brady Bogan]

He's here for. Just to see and hang out. He's got friends and stuff, so he knows the area and he doesn't have to be with the team. You can show up whenever he wants, so he didn't have to climb on a bus with the team. So that makes.

[John Holmberg]

But even when he comes out here.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but that's besides the. I guarantee you the brewers are not staying in Maryvale. They're outside the Blade.

[John Holmberg]

And find out where they stand Anyway, in Scottsdale.

[Brady Bogan]

Point being, Maryvale could throw a free golf tournament with the professional golfers. Put up tents and everything else, and you wouldn't see anything close to what you're seeing out there. Scottsdale's the reason why the. I can't. I got text last night from my friend and his wife, and they were out at the Bird's Nest, and he said, I hate this country music as much as you, but these broads dress like whores. This is Scottsdale on steroids right now. And I'm like, yeah, Scottsdale. Scottsdale has such a reputation that gamblers with NBA games Call it the undefeated city. If in fact, and pay attention to this, this is a true statistic. If, in fact, you find out that a professional basketball team is staying here for 24 hours before a game or after, they will not cover the spread in the next game they play normally, it's the Suns. So if they show up, let's say they play the Clippers and they bounce over here. NBA teams know too. Don't leave them in Miami or Phoenix for a day. They. They barely win. Even when the Suns were bad, if a team stayed here for an overnight, the dudes in the team had a day free. They're going to Scottsdale. It's a gambler's phrase. Scottsdale is undefeated. They don't go to Maryvale. And what would happen if we saw that, like, Draymond Green was in Maryvale last night would be on the news because he would been busted for doing something wrong. People, what the hell is he doing in Maryvale?

[John Holmberg]

They'd be still looking for him. We lost him for a day or two.

[Brady Bogan]

Draymond Draymond crosses the blade, and the next thing you know, and it's in the news. Draymond Green pulled over in Maryvale for speeding. We'd be like, what's he doing in Mary? Go to Scottsdale. That's where the fake cans are. Sorry, Maryvale, you're taking a beating, but it's because Brady tried to dress you up. Just like you have valuable people there. Please, There are no fake cans in Maryvale. Nobody ever moves here from Buffalo, sees Scottsdale on TV and gets a place in Maryvale and feels like they made the right move.

[Brett Vessel]

Isn't it so lovely?

[Brady Bogan]

I love Buffalo, but I moved from Buffalo after I saw Scottsdale on tv and I found a lovely place in Maryville. Oh, my God. Move back to Buffalo. You were in Shangri La. So Scottsdale, you're getting it done. That's all I'm saying. Brady, you go over and all this love your hand in Maryvale, you go. You're never over there looking for houses today. Never over there, never. Doug Hopkins just called me and said, I'll buy your home unless it's in Maryvale, no matter what it looks like, except where it is.

[Brett Vessel]

I don't got that $5,000.

[Brady Bogan]

Doug will even buy houses in Maryville. He loves it because all he has to bring is his wallet and $200. I'll take it. You got change for 100? Hey, man, that's not right. Hey, I'm inside the blade. You get change. I'm not carrying cash around here.

[Brett Vessel]

The blade.

[Brady Bogan]

Doug Hopkins is not sending. He's not driving into Maryvale to look at the house by himself. He's bringing people. He doesn't go look at your house in Mary. I bet. I would venture to guess that Doug's like, all right, I need a team of three. Somebody in Maryvale wants to sell us their house, and I'm not going in there by myself.

[Brett Vessel]

Can we rent a Brinks truck for the day? We need to get our team in there.

[Brady Bogan]

You're the. You're the dude on tv. No, I'm not. Just look like him. No, no, you're the dude on tv. You got all that money to buy houses. I'm leaving.

[Brett Vessel]

I love your new jingle.

[Brady Bogan]

Gold dog hockeys, 1 870. We're never moving. Why? Because Brady said there's a lot of fake here. I haven't seen them yet. Like an Easter keg. It's an Easter keg. Hunt for fake. No, it's a mirage. Anyway, sorry, Maryvale, but, you know, deep down, you guys know Maryvale doesn't.

[Brett Vessel]

They didn't want to live there either.

[Brady Bogan]

They drive through Scottsdale and go, jesus, what's it gonna take? Tricks. Yeah. What a bunch of rich assholes.

[John Holmberg]

That's vacation.

[Brady Bogan]

Maryvale. People can't afford a vacation in Scottsdale. First off, the gas would kill them. Trying to get there would be hard. That Impala would break down somewhere around, I don't know, 44th Street. Anyway, I just got.

[Brett Vessel]

They got to clean the Monolithia, and.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, that's true. They.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point.

[Brady Bogan]

There are a few from Maryville who do see what it's like. They've seen the other side, but they're not taking their Monte Lucia money and putting in fake cans. No, they're feeding their 11 babies. It's. My point being, before Brady ruined it, was that Scottsdale and Maryvale looked a lot alike when it first started. And just the oddness of yesterday, it struck me, the oddness of why one looks the way it does and the other looks the way it does. It's just. It's just happenstance. It's just a. It's so strange. And every major city has that. That this beautiful area that's five miles away. And it's not like Scottsdale's up against some beautiful backdrop. I mean, it's sitting in a nice area. Got Campbell back, but everybody's got Campbellback. It's in the middle. It's just a strange kind of like, man, this. And it's everywhere. It goes all over. Just weird. It's. And even the cruddy parts of Scottsdale. If you have Scottsdale address, your house is worth more just for having the word Scottsdale on an envelope. Ah, this is a good idea. Justin said. How about all these people that want to migrate here from Buffalo or Rochester? We have a law that says all out of towners have to live in Maryvale for one year before they can live in any of the good places. That way they'll know, all right, do I want us? Is this the right place for me? Did I make the right move? I like that. And if they're like, I've got more money than I'm sorry, then put it in. Put it into Maryville. Let's make Maryvale great again. Even though. When was it the Brewers. Those poor players have to go to Maryvale. No wonder. The brewers are pretty good. Every year. None of them are getting drunk and having fun in spring. They're actually playing some. They're. They're ready for the season because they actually get focused on baseball. You know, poor Cubs have been out in Mesa, which isn't, you know, I mean, it is. Well, they're new parts heaven compared to Maryville. But even the old park was just. Was weird. But they couldn't be. They weren't any good because they weren't having fun. They were just sad. Just old people. The cemetery across the road, they always looked at like, you know, the Giants were always having a good time. All the teams that have been here for a while, they're always just, oh, this is the best. The A's were just crushing for a few years. They're right there in the center of Tempe. And Angels had some good runs. Poor Brewers. They're just good enough.

[Brett Vessel]

Well, the brewers, they chose to move out there. Remember they used to be in South Chandler.

[Brady Bogan]

Wanted to be there. Could you imagine if the brewers were still in South Chandler? There'd be little. You know who would be great is all those little. The Indians. The dots. Not the casino would be. They'd start having babies with those ladies out there because they all work at the intel plant. And now you'd have a bunch of cricket baseball players. That would be amazing stadium.

[John Holmberg]

That little spring training stadium would be so high tech.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, man, could you imagine what they would build out there?

[Brett Vessel]

And it sat empty for years, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Compadre was great.

[Brett Vessel]

Yeah. They finally just bulldozed it a couple years ago.

[Brady Bogan]

We're gonna move to Maryvale. No one's ever said that. No. You know what people say we have to move to Maryvale. Like, usually it's because something horrible's happened. We're gonna get back on our feet, so we gotta move to Maryvale. Morning sickness medicate, can you. Holmberg's morning sickness. Maybe the brewers ran into some financial issues, I don't know.

[Brett Vessel]

And somebody made him an offer they couldn't refuse.

[Brady Bogan]

That must be it. Yeah, that must be it. Yeah. Anyway, you know, when you're there, too. I drove back on Indian School one time and I was looking around, I'm like, what happened to the. What happened? And then I'm like, turn right, Brewer Stadium. Like, I'm in Maryvale. The red lights mean nothing to me here.

[Brett Vessel]

That's where the cops. Only, you don't belong here. Just keep going, get popped.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the easy. That's the. The crime the cops don't have time for. Blow through all the red lights, get out of Maryvale as fast as you can.

[Brett Vessel]

The blade is officially 27th Avenue. Glendale to Thomas.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the Blade report.

[Brett Vessel]

That's the Blade.

[Brady Bogan]

That's where all the trouble happens, apparently.

[Brett Vessel]

Well, look at that neighbor.

[Brady Bogan]

Where the hookers are. That's Maryvale. 27th Avenue's Maryville. Yeah.

[Brett Vessel]

Okay, but it doesn't go all the way up to Glendale. I guess the Blade is just.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the Blade. I like that. Anyway, we learned something new today. Yeah, that's. This guy said you nailed it. John Hopkins sends one of his new guys over to Maryville. That's so they can earn their stripes. That has to be your first assignment. Couple Maryvale buys. Get out of there.

[John Holmberg]

Thomas.

[Brady Bogan]

But again, my point was, there are no fake hands in Maryvale. There's. Even if Brett, you know, let's say Brett was a single felon. Came in, man. Last night, I met the girl in my dreams. Oh, yeah? Where? Maryville. All right. Brett, they'll stop it. Tell us the truth. I'm like, no, she's from Maryville and I went to her house. I'm like, you were there. We'd think he's crazy just on that. We haven't seen her, heard her.

[John Holmberg]

She's living with her parents.

[Brady Bogan]

We don't know her name. Of course she's living with her parents and her grandparents and her grandparents in 1100 square feet.

[Brett Vessel]

I'm wearing a long sleeve right now just to cover up the stab wounds and everything else from trying to get.

[Brady Bogan]

Me a couple times to get in. But, you know, it's the rite of Passage to go to her bedroom. The whole family. Stabbed you once. Come on.

[Brett Vessel]

John Miller says true story. Maryville was once considered the Scottsdale, the west side. I don't know. However, in the 80s there was a cancer scare having to do with the water. People moved out in droves. Then all the homies and gang bangers moved in to those cheap ass houses in the early 80s.

[Brady Bogan]

I lived here in the 80s, so I don't know when it was the Shangri Laska.

[Brett Vessel]

I don't remember that.

[Brady Bogan]

But West Valley, maybe. It wanted to be, but it never was.

[Brett Vessel]

Brady, no one has ever said they wanted to retire and move to Maryvale.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly. I don't know what you're thinking.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't heard that.

[Brady Bogan]

You kept trying to sell us that there's fake cans over there and there is not. I'm going Back to my original 00 address of Maryvale. No chance you're putting fake cans in and staying there. No way. In fact, if you're in Maryvale right now and you've got fake cans. D Toledo pd.com let's see that. Plus let's count the scabs you've picked this morning.

[John Holmberg]

There's no one up.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a good point. It's disgusting. Gross. Super bowl weekend too. No, nobody's going to super bowl party in Maryvale. Those guys are all going somewhere else. It's ridiculous. Maryvale, this guy. I've been to the places. I've seen Maryvale from the inside.

[John Holmberg]

Now that I know the blade.

[Brady Bogan]

You've never been to. You have never been to 27th Avenue. And sure. Oh sure, an accident. You've never driven up and down there out of joy or pleasure. It's been either.

[John Holmberg]

Forced Sunday morning drives.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? It's forced. Well then. Then you're a john, then you're looking for hookers and you pay for sex. That's all you just admitted to me. Sure, I've driven 27th Avenue for pleasure. Then you. Then you hire sexual workers in this. Great. You do not. You. You have not and do not drive 27th Brady would be Clark Griswold.

[Brett Vessel]

Excuse me, Holmes.

[Brady Bogan]

Because he's lost. Yes, but if you try to tell me, sure, I've been up and down that road. Why wouldn't I? Well, then you buy sex. You're a sex buyer. You're a john. Silly, silly boy. That one. Anyway, yeah, the Super Bowls here, I'm not getting a lot of hype off super bowl this year at all. Talking to friends are like, nah, there hasn't been Anybody going, oh, I can't wait. What do you think? It's just sort of. I think it's because we just saw it two years ago, same teams. It was here in town last time these two played. So, you know, a friend of mine who has a Super bowl party every year is kind of like, I don't even want to do this. But we have fun. The friends coming. I'm like, yeah. I said, we're not having our super bowl party this year because the Phoenix opens in the way. Because, you know, we have to go up to Phoenix open on Sunday for a big work thing. So it's kind of. Kind of one of those deals we can all do. We'll watch it, we'll pay attention, we'll know who the champion is. But it's becoming sort of boring.

[John Holmberg]

In a poll, 30% of people said their favorite part is the game. 17% tune in mostly for commercials, which are the most recent years have been kind of disappointing over the overall because.

[Brady Bogan]

We hype up commercials.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The reason commercials will disappoint you is because you have expectations, adaptations of commercials.

[John Holmberg]

16% say it's for the halftime.

[Brady Bogan]

Kendrick Lamar, will he do the diss track on Drake?

[Brett Vessel]

He has to. He has his big song.

[Brady Bogan]

Huge. Yeah, but it is. It's got the word. It's everything Kendrick Lamar has.

[Brett Vessel]

There's a clean version of it.

[Brady Bogan]

I. Yeah, with the N word. What's he say instead?

[Brett Vessel]

I can't remember, but I have it because it is.

[Brady Bogan]

It starts every line.

[Brett Vessel]

Yeah, I can't remember. I'll see if I can find it.

[John Holmberg]

2% say their favorite part is the announcers.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's weird.

[John Holmberg]

Well, 2%, you got Kevin Burkhart, Tom Brady, and Aaron Andrews and Tom Renoldi.

[Brady Bogan]

I think Tom Brady gets too much heat. Everybody again, everybody wanted Tom Brady to come out and give away every play, every secret, make everyone as knowledgeable as him. All he's doing is watching a game like you are. Tom Brady's been. I'm not a Tom Brady fan, but he's taken a beating for no reason. Oh, he's terrible. No, he isn't terrible. He's just. He is what he is.

[John Holmberg]

You expect, you know, hated person for years while you're playing for a lot of fans. Because he's so good.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. They wanted him to.

[John Holmberg]

They're gonna fall. That's gonna follow into whatever he does next.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know what they expected from him as a broad. Well, I mean, even people who aren't, like, hating on him the you know, other, you know, outlets are like, well, he's struggling. I'm like, how? Well, he's just not that interesting. Like, who is like, is Troy Aikman interesting to you on Monday Night Football? No, not at all. Does a good job, gives you the information. That's all Tom Brady's job is give you the information that you need. John Madden ruined the color broadcasting because he's just different. And everybody expects that to be the fun. Gus Edwards does it. Kevin Harlan's great at play by play. You just have a few guys who are great. Tom Brady falls into the category and it's his first year. He's pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

It'll be interesting to see what happens because a big talk, you know, that he's been. Can't participate in a lot of meetings because of his ownership.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll see how that ends up. But I mean, there are team, there.

[John Holmberg]

Are broadcasts, million dollar contract.

[Brady Bogan]

It sucks with, with like Herb Street, Al Michaels, because Al Michaels so great. Herb Street's just drying paint and he's been, he's been doing it for a long time. So, you know, that's all Herb street is. He's never going to be good. There's bad broadcast teams. Brady's just been like, everybody keeps saying, oh, it's. He's awful.

[John Holmberg]

He's not 26%. How you open it up. They really don't like anything about the.

[Brady Bogan]

Super bowl this year. It's kind of one of those things I think you're just going to watch because it's habit to watch. I think that's the one thing the NFL has us on, is that you kind of feel like you missed something if you didn't pay attention. That's why people who don't follow football at all go to the super bowl party. That's why people, women, you know, everybody gets involved. They don't know anything that's happened to get these two teams here. And they just kind of watch because football is a. It's a holiday. It's a thing America does. It's the way that us atheists still put up Christmas trees. It's just, all right, you'll all participate. And this year is kind of the most. Unless you're a Chiefs fan or an Eagles fan. It's the most drab kind of feeling super bowl there can be.

[Brett Vessel]

Everybody's just kind of like, match up. It's already seen it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a great matchup. But we saw it two years ago and it's not, it's going to be the same Game, but it's just like, oh, these two teams again. Okay. I just. Then I just watch this. It's just. It's not an interesting matchup to the rest of the country. Kansas City and Philadelphia.

[John Holmberg]

What would have been the premium?

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, it's always good. When the matchup would take.

[John Holmberg]

Would be better.

[Brady Bogan]

People are tired of the Chiefs. They're bored. So if they win, if there's no. There's no, like, oh, my God, what's going to happen? Chiefs might win. Seen that before. Eagles might win. Okay, good. The intriguing match. Buffalo and Detroit got in. Buffalo and Detroit would have been the one. And that's a weird thing to say. Those two. Those two cities. That would have been an unbelievable matchup for like two teams that have never won the Super Bowl. Two, I mean, one that's never been.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then you got, you know, Josh Allen, who's now the mvp. It's, you know, that would have been the curiosity factors, like who's going to choke, who's going to. Who's going to be the one that, you know, Chief Seagulls both been there, we've seen this. I think it has a lot to do with having seen it, but, yeah, I would have loved to have seen the Bills. Bills and Eagles would have been good, but Bill's Detroit, that would have been spectacular. And then you got, you know, the commanders would have been interesting, but I think that would have been a bloodbath. If the Chiefs and Commanders played, that would have been. I don't think the commanders could have won anything. They proved it in the NFC Championship Game, that they were out of their depth at that point. So anyway, I know everybody's going to watch. Maybe it'll be a great game. Maybe we're all wrong. Maybe it would just be fantastic. I mean, we got tired of the Patriots, you know, being there almost every year. And then they put on a couple of the greatest Super Bowls you've ever seen. Both of them with the Giants, the one with the Seahawks. It was just. There were some. But you had a rooting interest and hatred for the evil.

[Brett Vessel]

That's just what I was going to say. You hated the Patriots, so you watched the root against them. This one, nobody hates anybody, really. It's just kind of like.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's the thing I've always said, hate unites so much more than love.

[John Holmberg]

This is a love gear towards the Eagles. Anything.

[Brett Vessel]

Well, everybody hates, I guess. Yeah, but nobody hates like Jalen, you know, Saquon, really.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, there's no bad guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you want to see him?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's gonna break some runs.

[Brett Vessel]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a Bond movie without a bad guy.

[Brett Vessel]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's like, oh, the bad guy. Bond movies are not about James Bond. They're about the. The Adversary. If it's an uninteresting bad guy, the movie sucks. Bond can't carry a movie by himself. If the bad guy's no good. Bond doesn't matter. It's all up to the Star Wars. We've proven that without Darth Vader, they've struggled mightily to have, like, really interesting storylines. Kylo Ren was the closest.

[John Holmberg]

Spoiled brat.

[Brady Bogan]

Spoiled brat turned into a bitch. And we're like, we don't even like this bad guy. You kind of rooted for Darth Vader sometimes. Like, I want to see more of that guy doing stuff.

[Brett Vessel]

Even Rocky, you know, Apollo. Mr. Clubber.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[Brett Vessel]

Drago. And then you bring in Tommy Gunn, and it's like, ugh.

[Brady Bogan]

Once there was a bad guy you didn't care about, the movie wasn't good. And Sylvester Stallone was smart enough to recognize, you know, the ultimate bad guy in this country. Russia.

[Brett Vessel]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

Then he fought an entire nation. I mean, it was pretty awesome. When you start thinking about, like. But without a bad guy, nobody. There isn't one. We'll be majority. People will be happy with whoever wins or not care. And that's kind of where I sit. I'm rooting for a good game. We'll see. But super bowl weekend has definitely got its drop down. Brady's going. Brady's throwing a party at a Maryvale bar over there. He knows all of them gonna drive up and down 27.

[Brett Vessel]

You got fake cans. Get in free.

[John Holmberg]

I've no one chose what happened.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been to those.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

He says, I wouldn't put it past it. Wandered into some weird restaurant that you thought was gonna be. He's done that.

[Brett Vessel]

He goes El Centro for tacos.

[Brady Bogan]

So he tried to take me to a place for pizza once. And we got to the. I'm like, I'm not going in there. Like, there was roaches waiting to get in before the doors open. Like, I'm not going in there. Come on. I told the guy you'd come. I'm gonna tell him. I'm not. And I walked around. I left from the front of the. Embarrassing. His place is embarrassing.

[Brett Vessel]

Tell him to Smith at Hillstone then.

[Brady Bogan]

I think that's where I ended up going. I went over to Houston's before Hillstone was a thing, for God's sakes. It was so bad, Eric got in the car with me. I'm not going in there either. Let's get a wake up song. 585 9, 800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98K up, wake up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98.