Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 02-09-26
Date: February 9, 2026
Title: Dylan Emails How Our Podcast Has Helped Him Lose Weight - John's New Penchant For Coffee Keeping Him Regular

Episode Overview

This episode centers around two main themes: the impact the podcast has had on listeners’ real lives—highlighted by a heartfelt email from listener Dylan who credits the show for inspiring his weight loss—and a comedic discussion about John Holmberg’s new coffee habit and its digestive effects. The hosts, John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, also riff on the importance (and consequences) of honesty among friends, providing their signature blend of irreverent humor and real talk.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Listener Impact: Dylan's Weight Loss Journey

• [02:22] John reads an email from Dylan, a listener who credits the show with motivating him to lose weight after hearing the hosts jokingly push Brady to get healthier post-kidney removal.
  • Dylan's Story:
    • Was inspired by the hosts' relentless and honest jokes about weight.
    • Realized his friends weren’t being direct with him about his health.
    • Lost 25 pounds in a month (down from 345 to 320 since January 1st).
    • Asks the hosts to share his message: “Get your fat ass in the gym.”
  • Quote:
    • John (reading Dylan’s email, [02:40]:)
      “Get your fat ass in the gym. Thank you, Dylan. That’s well done!”
  • Hosts express genuine pride and humor:
    • “See, Brad, it’s friends like us that save lives.” ([03:26])

2. The Value (and Pain) of Honesty Among Friends

• The team humorously debates the pitfalls and necessity of being brutally honest, especially regarding health.
  • John:
    • “If you’ve got a big fat friend who’s not going to make it, you gotta tell him. That’s what friends do. You are not going to make it. Look at Brady—he’s over here thriving because of this podcast.” ([03:36])
    • “Honesty has more consequences than lying... When you have to start dodging honesty because it’s protecting someone else’s, I guess, better world or best interests, you’ve lost yourself.” ([04:32])
  • The exchange is laced with their trademark sarcasm (e.g., about cocaine and gambling).
    • John to Bret: “Brett, you should stop killing people.” ([04:53])
    • Bret plays along: “I’ll do that.” ([04:58])

3. John’s Coffee Experiment

• John details his new coffee habit, initially taken up for health reasons, specifically to improve digestion.
  • Honest confession:
    • Doesn't like the taste, drinks it mainly for the effects.
    • Drinks an entire pot in the morning; “I might as well just put coffee in the creamer thing and drink that.” ([05:50])
    • Only eats after, “somewhere around noon, I like a goose for an hour. And then I feel great.”
  • Improvement in digestive health, shared with vivid and comedic descriptions:
    • “It’s flying out of me. I sit down and laugh. It is like… I can’t really—it’s just a good flow.” ([06:11])
    • “There’s memories from the 80s coming out. Sometimes, like, a ghost will float ahead of me… Oh my God, that crayon I ate when I was six just came out.” ([06:22])
• Playful childhood confessions:
  • Ate crayons and Play-Doh as a child (“Oh, you got Play-Doh in front of me right now, I’d probably take it down, drink a pot of coffee and watch it come out. It would be colorful. It’d be fun.” ([06:50]))

4. Navigating Honesty with Women: More Comedy

• The group shifts to the perils of honesty when it comes to significant others, using exaggerated scenarios about outfits and weight.
  • “That’s a bad haircut.”
  • “Yes, those jeans make you look fat. Yeah, but it’s not so much the jeans…” ([07:52])
  • “If you have to ask, you look fat. Right? ‘Does this make me look fat?’ What do you think? If you’re asking, I know you. I know what you actually think. Fishing.” ([08:58])
  • “It doesn’t make you look bad. No, but the cake in your hand does.” ([09:13])
• Jokes about double-bagging groceries become euphemisms for fashion advice.

5. Support and Shoutout to Dylan

• Dylan, a longtime listener who works for the Phoenix Suns, gets a personal shoutout as the hosts urge him to stick with his healthy changes.
  • “Dylan, you big fat ass... I didn’t know he’d ballooned up to 350. You’re gonna die. You’ve got a kid to worry about, Dylan.” ([09:27])
  • “Let’s drop some pounds for that heart. Quits. Unless that’s your plan.”
  • Playful callback: “The 9am word is going to be D-E-A-D, Dead. Which is where Dylan was headed before he got on this new track. Nice job, Dylan. Proud of you.” ([09:52])

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• [02:40] John Holmberg (reading Dylan’s email):
  “Get your fat ass in the gym. Thank you, Dylan. That’s well done.”
• [03:32] John Holmberg:
  “If you’ve got a big fat friend who’s not going to make it, you gotta tell him. That’s what friends do.”
• [04:32] John Holmberg:
  “Honesty has more consequences than lying... When you have to start dodging honesty because it’s protecting someone else’s... you’ve lost yourself.”
• [06:22] John Holmberg (coffee story):
  “There’s memories from the 80s coming out... Oh my God, that crayon I ate when I was six just came out.”
• [07:52] Holmberg and Team:
  “And, yes, those jeans make you look fat. Yeah, but it’s not so much the jeans... it’s the fat you’re stuffing in them.”
• [09:52] John Holmberg:
  “The 9am word is going to be D-E-A-D, Dead. Which is where Dylan was headed before he got on this new track. Nice job, Dylan. Proud of you.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:22] – Dylan’s email about weight loss
• [03:32] – “Friends who save lives” and honesty discussion
• [05:25] – John’s relationship with Diet Coke and coffee
• [06:22] – Coffee’s health (and comedic) effects
• [07:52] – Navigating honesty in relationships
• [09:27] – Personalized advice and encouragement for Dylan
• [09:52] – 9am contest word and callback to Dylan’s progress

Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential display of the HMS team’s unique blend of caustic humor, genuine camaraderie, and surprising heart. Through the hilariously candid discussion of bodily functions and the consequences of brutal honesty, the hosts manage to inspire positive change in listeners’ lives—evidenced by Dylan’s weight loss story, which both the hosts and the audience celebrate with good-natured teasing.

If you need a push to take accountability or just want a laugh about the realities of getting older (and regular), this one’s for you.