02-10-26 - Emailer Asks Why We Say Your Vagina Is Currency So We Explain It - Emailer Asks John To Put Go Conspiracy Mode For Princess Diana, Prince Andrew And MJ - Guy Asks For Sex Advice After He Leaves Used Condom In Couples Friend's Trash

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Episode Summary

Episode: 02-10-26
Date: February 10, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme:
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" features the crew responding to listener emails about relationships, sex, and gender dynamics—specifically exploring the idea of women’s “vagina as currency,” relationship red flags, conspiracy theories surrounding the British royal family and Michael Jackson, and a hilarious dilemma involving used condoms left at a friend’s house.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Vagina as Currency” – Gender Roles and Relationship Value

[03:19–09:57]

• Listener Email: A woman asks what Holmberg means by saying "your vagina is currency."
• John Holmberg’s Argument:
  • Asserts that for women, sexuality is a form of societal currency often used (directly or indirectly) to gain status, comfort, or resources.
  • Draws humorous analogies to unusual talents left untapped (e.g., a tall guy not playing basketball).
  • “You act like you don’t have it. Currency. Stop it.” – John Holmberg [06:36]
  • Explains: Men must accumulate traditional currency/power for desirability; women can “trade” their looks/sexuality.
  • Jokes about different types of “spending” and “saving” that “currency.”
• Further Banter:
  • Introduce the idea of a “Chapter 11 vagina,” referring to someone who’s “gambled away” their currency.
  • "If your vagina looks like a big Montana, text next step to…” – John Holmberg [09:14]
  • Satirical take on what happens when "currency is bankrupt.”

2. Relationship Red Flags: Nerdy Memorabilia & Social Skills

[00:40–03:12, 10:00–15:45]

• Audience Shares:
  • Stories about displaying nerdy collections (Nagel prints, Star Wars memorabilia).
  • Holmberg claims certain collections—especially in adult male bedrooms—are inherent relationship red flags.
    • “If you have a studio apartment decorated with nothing but WWE stuff, you’re gonna need some money.” – John Holmberg [07:01]
• Anecdotes:
  • John recalls his “LA Gear” shoe era, attracting a poor girlfriend and her overbearing family, pointing out the complexities of dating poor but attractive women.
  • “I was a busboy and they thought I was rich…” – John Holmberg [11:57]
• General Conclusion:
  • Men are more likely to date/love attractive poor women, but “family van” scenarios introduce hard boundaries.
  • “Had she presented herself a little different, I’d have probably knocked up that weird little hillbilly.” – John Holmberg [15:45]

3. Conspiracy Corner: Royals, Diana, Prince Andrew & MJ

[19:45–24:57, 27:45–31:20]

• Prompted by Emails:
  • Listeners request “conspiracy mode” on Princess Diana, Prince Andrew, and Michael Jackson.
• Princess Diana:
  • John asserts her death was an elaborately staged royal hit:
    • “Most elaborate murder in my lifetime… What a plan.” – John Holmberg [27:45]
• Prince Andrew:
  • Predicts the royal family will “get rid” of Andrew (Epstein connections), speculating on manner of death (window, plane crash, "accident").
    • “He was so close to the window and took a misstep and out he went. Paramedics did all they could.” – John Holmberg (mocking royal statement) [27:04]
• Brady’s Diversion:
  • Whenever Epstein/Andrew comes up, Brady changes the topic—to the moon landing conspiracy.
• Michael Jackson:
  • Speculates on MJ potentially being murdered to prevent “spilling the beans,” with comedic riffing on MJ’s family, race, and lifestyle.

4. Sex & House-Sitting Dilemmas: Condom-gate

[32:32–42:07]

• Listener Story:
  • A couple house-sits, has sex in their friends' bed, and leaves a used condom in the trash. Friend’s wife discovers it; drama ensues.
• Hosts’ Take:
  • Universally agree: Never leave evidence! Take trash out, clean up—basic etiquette.
  • “If you do [have sex], the evidence is not left in their trash.” – John Holmberg [34:25]
  • Confessional: Holmberg admits to similar (worse) teenage behavior but draws the line at adulthood and trust.
• Condom vs. Other Transgressions:
  • Compares what’s worse: guest leaving a used condom vs. taking a dump at your house.
• Side Stories:
  • House/pet sitters neglecting fish, hosts returning to “gross or stuff,” and employing “thieving” or unreliable help.
  • “That house should look exactly the same…as it did when they left.” – John Holmberg [42:07]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |------------|-------|---------| | 04:33 | “Have you ever met a seven-foot dude who tells you he hates basketball?... You’re a moron.” | John Holmberg | | 06:36 | “You act like you don’t have it. Currency. Stop it. You know what I mean. Currency. Come on.” | John Holmberg | | 08:25 | “Not saying you have to. I’m saying you have it. That’s what you are as a vagina Jew. You’re real stingy with it.” | John Holmberg | | 11:27 | “We’ll still love you if you’re poor. That’s what I said, quote to quote.” | John Holmberg | | 15:45 | “Had she presented herself a little different, I’d have probably knocked up that weird little hillbilly.” | John Holmberg | | 17:13 | “I don’t think he hoped I was gay. I thought he hoped I was sterile. I’m positive of that.” | John Holmberg | | 21:01 | “They can’t run him over again because then…it’s the dead giveaway that they did it to Princess Diana. But he’s gonna fall off a cliff or out a window.” | John Holmberg (re: Prince Andrew) | | 27:45 | “Most elaborate murder in my lifetime…What a plan.” | John Holmberg (Princess Diana) | | 34:25 | “If you do [have sex], the evidence is not left in their trash.” | John Holmberg | | 41:14 | “That house should look exactly the same way when the people come home as it did when they left.” | John Holmberg |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:40 – 03:12: Red flags in overly nerdy memorabilia collections
• 03:19 – 09:57: “Vagina as currency” concept explained and debated
• 10:00 – 15:45: John’s story about dating “poor but attractive” girls and family boundaries
• 19:45 – 24:57: British royal family conspiracy theories (Diana and Andrew)
• 27:45 – 31:20: Michael Jackson “murder” and more on Diana/Andrew
• 32:32 – 42:07: Sex during house-sitting, condom etiquette, and bad houseguests
• 42:07 – 44:00: House-sitting horror stories—dead fish, theft, cleaning woes

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Closing Notes

• Irreverent, no-filter banter: The episode is packed with John’s signature mix of social commentary and over-the-top satire, with Brady and Brett chiming in and occasionally derailing.
• Audience engagement: Emails and listener prompts actively shape the discussion, leading to raw, unscripted humor and genuine life anecdotes.
• Main message: Be self-aware, clean up after yourself, don’t underestimate the “currency” of attraction, and question everything—especially official stories from the elite.

For longtime fans, this is classic HMS: dark humor, wild analogies, and just a touch of chaos—with a little life advice buried under the laughs.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[John Holmberg]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone.

[Brady]

Who can't legally own one.

[John Holmberg]

Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's.

[Brady]

Not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[John Holmberg]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

That simple?

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. Contest of the day here on the Price is Right. Nicole, slap come down? No, still fun. This is John, that Stranger Things guy. I don't know if you knew this. Also in the story they did on him, he has to announce that he has the record for Stranger Things memorabilia door to door in his neighborhood when he moves in. But we all know what he's really telling everybody. That's very true. A lot of people emailing about that. There's no ability to talk to people without saying, yeah, that's a dumb collection. What about your collection? No, not all collections are dumb. It's an SAT question. Not all collections are dumb. Some collections are really stupid. This guy's said, your disclosure of non impressive assemblies has forced me to see the light. No wonder I've never been married. I have nine Patrick Nagel framed and matted female images adorning the master bedroom walls. You are a. You are the master bedroom. Continue to be dusted every week. Retirement looms. Is there hope for me? Nope. Yeah, keep the Nagels up. At this point, if you're. If you're thinking about retiring and you're dusting Nagels, those who don't know what those are, those are those weird paintings. Black and white most of the time, with red lips of outlines of naked ladies. And in the 80s, in the 80s, people like girls especially, really enjoyed them. Again, Patrick Bateman from American Psycho was big on that. This guy's like, John, you have had to laugh at your take on overly nerdy junk as a serious red flag. I'm in that situation. I just Display stuff that holds value. I have a Mark Hamill autograph Star Wars New Hope movie poster. And Undertaker autographed replica WWE championship belt on display. A bunch of autographed Funkos, including one from Tobias Forge of Ghost. Now my guess is, Alexander, that you either live by yourself or you have a roommate that you have to ask to take a shower every once. Come on, dude, you gotta get in the shower. Like he's. What? I've been working like. You haven't showered in days. The whole place smells like you. Can I wear the championship belt? Take a shower and then maybe. I don't know what you're talking about, man.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like Seth Rogen in four year old. You have an Asia poster. Who frames that?

[John Holmberg]

What did you do here? An Asian poster? Yeah, it's bad, so. And a lot of people. And then a lady asked and I wrote it down because it's a long thing, says, what do you mean our vagina is our currency. Look, if you pretend like it's not real, you reveal yourself as a Looney Tune. It is your currency. A man's currency is currency. We have to have money and stuff to be valuable. We can be great looking and poor, maybe get laid, but it's after fooling you into thinking that we've got stuff. I wouldn't know. I'm not great looking. But if you've got money, as a man, you're gonna, you're gonna do okay. A woman doesn't have to have it. Here's my comparison. If I as a man, we'll start with Brett's comp. If Thriller was alive in 1983 with that limp and that walk, and he saw on TV that they were having auditions for zombies in a video for Michael Jackson and he didn't go down there, we'd be like, what are you doing? You're armed for? This is exactly what you should be shooting at.

[Brett Vesely]

This is you.

[John Holmberg]

That's you. We'd be upset. Have you ever met a seven foot dude who tells you he hates basketball? Takes you about four or five days to like stop hating him. How you're armed for it.

[Brett Vesely]

I got a buddy, six, nine, six ten, he's oh, hey, basketball. I'm like, well, you're a moron.

[John Holmberg]

You're a moron. And you know why he hates it? Because he never got good at it. It's his life's biggest failure. You were, you were gifted to at least put it out there, right?

[Brett Vesely]

I even told him, even if you suck and you're a bench player, you're still going to make the league minimums.

[John Holmberg]

Better than what you're doing now. What does he do?

[Brett Vesely]

Construction? It was a mechanic.

[John Holmberg]

You might as well just put stars on Christmas trees. He's a bumble. If I had a pickaxe for a dick and a metal detector for a right arm and I told you I didn't like looking for gold, you'd think I was an idiot. Like, well, that's what your body. Your body gave you this gift. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to dig for gold.

[Brady]

I've got a. I want to sew.

[John Holmberg]

I've got a pickaxe and a Edward Scissorhands made the most out of it. Ladies, stop acting like that's not something you can use as money. It is now. You don't abuse it, you're going to confuse it. It's going to go strawman again. I'm not saying that's all you've got, but I'm saying it's a weapon you have and don't act like you don't use it. Somebody sent me a picture of Eileen goo working at McDonald's. It's a McDonald's that men would visit regularly. The homeless girl that was on 52nd street of McDowell had dudes driving around in circles for her. Has there ever been a hot one of her?

[Brady]

First couple of weeks she was rushing.

[John Holmberg]

It and we weren't giving her money and hoping she got back on her feet. Dudes were giving her money hoping she'd get in a car. I'm gonna save this little angel. When's the last time a group of good looking women went to Postino's, got into the Range Rover and drove down the road and saw a good looking homeless man and said oh my God. And then circled him and then went back days later with new friends. That's what dudes do. That's the power of it. You act like you don't have it.

[Guest Caller]

What do you mean?

[John Holmberg]

Currency. Stop it. You know what I mean. Currency. Come on. And this guy says the Stranger Things collection is the only thing acceptable to do any remaking of Stranger Things is if it's porn related. Otherwise you're a homosexual. I agree with that guy completely.

[Guest Caller]

We don't have this. Not currency. Is that all we are to you?

[John Holmberg]

No, but if we had that weapon, we'd use it. You don't have to do anything if you keep it. Good. Now if you have a studio apartment decorated with nothing but WWE stuff, you're gonna need some money. Nobody's paying for you.

[Brady]

It's a tough sell.

[John Holmberg]

We will love a poor person. Men are just better that way. We will love a poor person. And she's good looking. Good looking and poor. We'll take that. A woman won't.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, let's take it for a night or two.

[John Holmberg]

A woman doesn't outwardly love a poor. She might end up with a poor person she doesn't like. Seek out a poor guy.

[Brett Vesely]

See, musicians are still hope out there.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. You can get off again. The old joke. What do you call a drummer whose girlfriend just left him homeless? Yeah, and that's. Those are girls that are smart. They get on the ones that are like, this guy's got potential. He's poor now. So you might end up with a poor guy, but stop acting like you don't have that current. It's disrespectful, the game, you know, it's like saying, we don't play baseball with bats. You do. We know the equipment, we understand it. But don't act like it's not a thing, lady. Her name was Sarah. Don't email me that. Sarah.

[Guest Caller]

I would never use it as currency, okay?

[John Holmberg]

Not saying you have to. I'm saying you have it. That's what you are as a vagina Jew. You're real stingy with it.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a band.

[John Holmberg]

Vajuna. We call that Vijuna. When you're stingy with it, you're like.

[Guest Caller]

Well, I'm not gonna use it as currency.

[John Holmberg]

That means you're just saving.

[Brett Vesely]

You're just.

[John Holmberg]

You got a savings account. You're gonna use it when it matters, though. When it starts to go, all right, I'm gonna give this to something special now. It's just currency. You're shopping a little bit more frugally, that's all.

[Brady]

Trying to create value.

[John Holmberg]

And then Christopher says, maybe hers isn't currency. Maybe it's beat up and it's bankrupt. Chapter 11 vagina. Well, maybe she might be bitter about that, but that means she recognized it as currency and gambled it away.

[Brett Vesely]

Text next step to 5, 3, 3, 4.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. If your vagina looks like a big Montana, text next step to 5, 4, 4, 3, 2. And just talk to the folks over at fanduel and see what they say.

[Guest Caller]

It's not so much a gambling problem, but I took some risks.

[John Holmberg]

Tell me about that.

[Guest Caller]

I got hogged out on a blacked dot com video.

[John Holmberg]

And now what the hell? Did you bet on it?

[Guest Caller]

Oh, did I ever. I thought it would pay off one of the Guys said he played too many parlays. One of the guys said he played for the Pistons, and I believed him. It turned out to be a lie. I thought I'd hit the jackpot. Turned out it was just a bunch of poor tall blacks.

[John Holmberg]

And now you've got a big Arby's.

[Guest Caller]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Now that's going to be trouble for you, I'm afraid. You're going to be poor for a long time. Are you beautiful?

[Guest Caller]

I'm a six out of ten.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you're going to be poor. And then the Eileen goo thing comes in. And I think the most offensive email, without actually using any offensive words, has come through from my friend Cranston about Eileen Gu, the Chinese skier. The only thing Chinese she has in her is the sushi she eats, and that is just not correct in any direction. Sushi's Japanese. It's really great. That's good racism right there. That's good old fashioned bigotry and not knowing your systems. She ain't got no Chinese in her. Unless you count the sushi. All right, high five right here. Nutshell, kinda. I mean, you're in the same hemisphere. That one got me. All right, 6:56. That means spiral is good for four more minutes. And then at 7:00', clock, you're going to want to put the word intense into the app. Little game we got there. The suite that feeds the Nine Inch Nails thing every hour on the era. I'll give you another word. Intense is the seven o' clock word. You can do it on the app. You can do [e-mail] as you listen to the podcast recording live on the radio.

[Brett Vesely]

Ryan's calling you out.

[John Holmberg]

Brian is. All right, let's see. All right, this guy remembers a lot of my stories. All right, well, we'll recap this. We'll still love you if you're poor. That's what I said, quote to quote.

[Brett Vesely]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Then he says, false. Exhibit a la guy. Now let's refresh. First off, I regret that. Second, not hot enough and too poor.

[Brett Vesely]

You said she was pretty hot, though.

[John Holmberg]

She was cute. She was good enough for me at the time, especially high school.

[Brady]

But W2s came in again.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't know that she had for the family. I'm guessing more so.

[Brady]

Or lack thereof.

[John Holmberg]

They thought I was rich and I was a busboy. There were a lot of red flags. I had a car which threw and they all showed up in a van. This girl liked me because I had LA gear shoes on and she called me LA Guy.

[Guest Caller]

Oh, there's LA Guy.

[John Holmberg]

She liked me way too much. Now, keep in mind, these were the LA gears that when you walked, there was a little light on the back of the heel that went off. Yeah, they were terrible. Yeah. I thought I'd made a really sound decision purchasing these because Karl Malone was the LA Gear spokesperson. Like, this is gonna take off. Like, this is gonna be. I'm gonna be ahead of the game. This is the new British Knights or Reeboks, when they, you know, I'm gonna be the LA Gear guy. And she loved it. And she showed up at my work in a van full of her family and like, started to like, hang out outside and introduced me to her van family. Yeah, and she was Jethro. She was very poor, but her lineage was also insanely poor. And she wasn't fighting to get out of it. She was looking to meet a savor. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I saw red flags beyond being now was she? If I'd have just had. She never brought the family over. There's a chance I'd have taken her to the Olive Garden and she might have passed out.

[Guest Caller]

I'd never seen such fancy pants. These people bring us the food.

[John Holmberg]

Why is the floor not dirt? She was easy to impress.

[Brady]

Look, if she lived in a cave and had to eat dirt and she's beautiful, you'd still fall in love with her.

[John Holmberg]

Except for the how she presented the whole family. I realized early on the whole family was going to be involved in this. And also I had a very good read on girls who recognize affection as love. And this was gonna get into stabby territory. Was she cute? Yes. Had she been a little more normal, there's a chance I'd have taken her on my busboy adventures.

[Brett Vesely]

Taking her to Bill Johnson's. The Sawdust on the floor. She'd have fit right in.

[Guest Caller]

I can't stop Orgasmin.

[Brady]

That's a formal date.

[Guest Caller]

This is unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Should I wear she? Yeah, she'd address like one of those gypsies. Like, way overdone. Like, what'd you do here?

[Guest Caller]

We're going out on the town.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Guest Caller]

Can my parents drive us in the van of family?

[John Holmberg]

There were way too many people in there, so. Yes, there are. Of course there's boundaries.

[Brady]

Wedding night, father in law comes up to you. Got you a night. The Kon Tiki.

[John Holmberg]

I'm telling you right now, for your honeymoon, I'm gonna have to ask you for a loan. Though, since you've got one of them highfalutin busboy jobs. And then I'll pay you back for this gift I want to give you while you impregnate my 16 year old daughter with your busboy seed.

[Brett Vesely]

Were they out there serenading in the parking lot with a washboard and a brown jug?

[John Holmberg]

They were so excited for her. And I'm like, get out of here. What are you doing? People are gonna see you. I can't be seen with this kind of porn. It's like you're the. You're good. Goddamn clampets. Get grandma off the roof and drive home.

[Brady]

Can you get some of that toilet paper at work?

[John Holmberg]

We are going to be washing our asses better than ever. Now we got that busboy LA guy.

[Brady]

Isn't that silverware?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

He gets unlimited wet wipes if that's a fair comp.

[John Holmberg]

Because she can be poor and hot. We'd give her a chance. But the second the family's in the van and you're like, you can get her pregnant right in front of us. In fact, here, here's some extra seeds from her brother. Let's just add that to the mix and like, knock it off. They were extra poor. There's a boundary, remember?

[Brady]

If anyone forgets them to go, you keep them.

[John Holmberg]

Had she been raised better, and I betting she landed somebody who had a job. She was ambitious towards anybody who had sort of a job. I guess she had never seen such a thing. Daddy never had one for a long period of time. Here I was on a stretch of two years as a busboy and I was only 17. I was this dude. I might as well gotten a Rolex from the, you know. Wow, two years. How'd you pull that off? John D. Rockefeller over there. You go after him, honey, with all your might. Listen here, mijo. I want you to impregnate my daughter in front of us. It's a tradition in our family because we only have one room. So yes, there are examples that will backfire on that. But had she presented herself a little different, I'd have probably knocked up that weird little hillbilly. And the next thing you know, my life would have been ruined. I was also highly aware, thanks to Dan Holmberg, that pregnancy happens if you look at him wrong. So he had me scared to death of every girl in high school. You get pregnant, your life is. It's over. I'm like, you're talking to your son. At one point my mom came to you and said, we're Having a baby and you make pregnancy. It's the worst thing that you can ever hear a woman go look at you and look at me. Do I look happy? And that's because your mom came to me at one point and said, I'm pregnant. And then she did it again. I'm twice cursed. Do not put one in a woman. Ever. All it is is trouble is that.

[Brett Vesely]

When he was hoping you were gay.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think he hoped I was gay. I thought he hoped I was sterile. I'm positive of that. You look at, you get. You're gonna get him pregnant. You're gonna get one pregnant. Like what you even talking to him? Like a girl would call.

[Guest Caller]

It's down there.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on. John, there's a girl on the line. Is she pregnant? No. All right. Don't talk for more than five minutes because they can get pregnant on the phone now. He was worried about it all and he was right. Get me out of those situations. You don't put it in there. I was trying still, but I was scared of him. That hillbillies. That's one thing you got to know about poor women too. Their eggs. They're super. They're fertile like a Vietnamese rice field. Like you can't. Like. They're the ones that they warn you about in school that says even if you don't penetrate, just getting some on them can get in there. The poor ones are the one they're talking about because they don't wash for a few days. Your sperm's just dying there on a labia, flopping around like, I want him. I'm going inside. And then it just starts swimming in there. It's like the one dude, I didn't.

[Guest Caller]

Wash it off because I loved you so much.

[John Holmberg]

That's what poor girls get pregnant off of. Just contact. Poor girls are the ones you have to worry about. About that whole pre soak thing. Any. Anything. That's if your pee pee is wet at all, they'll get pregnant. They should tell you that in school. It's the poor ones, they get pregnant real fast, so. Yes. But men are still romantic enough to see a lady working at the Chick fil A and think she's beautiful. And a billionaire would drive all the way around.

[Brady]

I'll take you out.

[John Holmberg]

I'd like to ask you to dinner.

[Guest Caller]

Are you kidding? Did I just hit the lottery?

[John Holmberg]

You sure did, darling.

[Guest Caller]

My vagina is currency, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

You're learning early. It's good stuff. Tell me it's not currency. When I see only fans I see Instagram. I see Jesus. That Bonnie Blue broke her own record for sex. And it's a big news story where she had 400 sex partners without protection that she allowed in her delicious. It sounds wonderful. Really classy broad. I watch what's going on. You guys know the Kardashians. That's not. They didn't profit from it. I'm just saying, if I had a football commercial. I know. She admits it. I have my current vaginas poison, and it's the thing that keeps me in money. If my right arm was a jugs machine, I don't think. I don't want to play football. You'd be like, what are you doing? That's your ticket. Just be smart with it. That's all. I got an email from a guy who's like, I'm gonna find that one. It was great. And he's not wrong, because I'm bright red and I want to gain weight, turn into a conspiracy theorist, because all conspiracy theorists are bright red and a little bit chubby. Look a little pregnant. This one says, hey, John. Or. Yeah, it's from Glenn. Says, hey, John, now that you're going insane and you think everything's a conspiracy, turn red for me and get fat about Princess Diana getting requests for what I think, oh, they killed her. That's easy. But here's what Brady and I were talking about yesterday. Here's what you're not paying attention to. They're plotting a plan to kill Prince Andrew. That dude's got to go, so don't be surprised.

[Brady]

Like, I thought he was gone for a while, but it just keeps.

[John Holmberg]

I want to start predicting the conspiracies before they happen. You know, I want to have those moments where, you know. Alex. Alex Jones. Where is it? There it is. I'll eat your ass. Alex Jones pops up before. More like the Were like the Nostradamus of conspiracies. They are. They are.

[Brady]

There will be an accident.

[John Holmberg]

They can't run him over again because then. Then it's the dead giveaway that they did it to Princess Diana. But he's gonna fall off a cliff or out a window. Something weird's gonna happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Heart attack.

[John Holmberg]

It could be too natural. And then. Because then you gotta poison him and stuff, and that'll get caught. Like, you need an accident to happen. Like a weird, like. Like he. Like a, you know, plane, maybe. Could be a plane. Train crash. That would be big. But he is. He's getting that Epstein file again, and he's laying on top of a Chick in the pictures. And this dude's been denying that. Remember the first one when he had the arm around the girl? It turned out she was like 15. And he's like, well, that's just an angle look. If you ask me, that's a perception of the photograph. She's far away from me, but in the photograph it just looks as though I'm embracing her. I was never in that. And then the new ones come out and he's literally on top of a girl. I don't even know. That could be angle again, camera angles. It's two dimensional. This could very well be a reflection off a mirror. I remember once skydiving in that very position and there was a. But the reflection of the. They're going to kill me, aren't they? They have to get rid of this dude. He's nothing but trouble for the. So he's the one. So you asked me about Princess Diana. Yes. I mean, there's no question that they were. They were going through some stuff with Diana and that was a very elaborate way to unload her.

[Brady]

By the way. Just out of the blue.

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Brady]

I mean, that moon thing is just more traction. The moon conspiracy. The landing.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, we'll get into that another time. Don't bring that up. We're in the middle of something else weird. Well, calm down because we'll get into something else. Jesus. Talk about the diversion police.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I was one.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I know what you were, Andrew. There. No, no. Well, nobody cares about credit.

[Brett Vesely]

It's all right.

[John Holmberg]

We just got.

[Brady]

I'm just saying the same thing. It's like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I know you're not wrong. And he was laying on top of abroad. Now I have to talk about the moon. See what he did. Jesus Christ. You're not wrong now, but on this moon thing. Brady sent over a video yesterday of Buzz Aldrin's moon boots. And then the moon print. Neil Armstrong, or Neil Armstrong, whoever it was. But it's the moon print of the preserved suit from the moon landing. And then the boots don't match the print. That's the picture and it's all. There's. That's all a mess. I'm pretty convinced now the moon didn't occ. I'm getting to that point now where it's almost like they're trying to send us stuff that makes us go just. Just know it didn't happen.

[Brett Vesely]

So you think we've never been there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm.

[Brett Vesely]

Or just not. When we said that, we were getting.

[John Holmberg]

Mighty close to thinking it Never happened. And I think they're doing that because these new guys are going to shoot up there. Oh, here we go. Bright red John again. The new group that's got to go up there might blow up in the van Allen belts and stuff like that and they'll. And it'll be a dead give away that we've never done it. So I think they're just in case in us like start to question that first moon landing. Because I think we're actually going to try this time. And if it doesn't go well, then we'll know the first one was fake. So let's just make the first one fake now so when the other one blows up, we'll get it back.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get me off on the Princess Diana's thing was the most elaborate murder of all time. That is a cuz you're taking chances. She lives. But that was unbelievable how they. They just mangled that car up. That thing is. It was like made of a tin can. Prince Andrew's gotta go. The royal family good at killing people. They're the Clintons of England and they just haven't come up with a way to get away with it yet. But that guy's. They've kind of banished him from the kingdom. He keeps coming up and you know, look, the first time I was like, they're just not allowed to be here anymore. Get out. And if anything else comes out, you're in big trouble. And then this new one, all this new stuff's coming out and he's like, he's bad. The guy was banging a lot of chicks at Epstein Island a lot. He had nothing else to do. Didn't have a job. He's Prince Andrew. Just go out.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you do as a prince? Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Ribbons. And you speak out against landmines. It's an easy job.

[Brady]

I just don't think you're third or fourth in line.

[John Holmberg]

Landmines are bad. I believe we should eliminate landmines. Thank you. Oh, he's brilliant. I'm against children's illiteracy. Oh, wow. What a brave branch to go out on there. Wow. Now all those people that are for that.

[Guest Caller]

I fight for children to be able to read.

[Brady]

Stopped by a couple of hospitals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at the opening of a safe way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They had to keep them away from the children's hospitals though because he'd mount them.

[Brady]

No. He owed the juvie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I now declare this Safeway open for business. Thank you. Thank you very much.

[Brett Vesely]

Thy Safeway.

[John Holmberg]

There he goes. Fourth in Line for the throne. Prince Andrew opening up the Safeway here in Liverpool. Pop on thump. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

The Queen's like, we have a high school that. I'll take that, mum.

[John Holmberg]

I'll do that one, Mum.

[Guest Caller]

There's a high school graduation, Andrew. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And all of you can read, which is my literacy program. Have a lovely.

[Guest Caller]

I'll shake hands with each of you.

[Brady]

I shall sponsor prom.

[Guest Caller]

And it's like, don't have anything to do this weekend, Mummy. Why don't you go to your friend's island again? Don't get photographed right o I lay on top of these kids, it'll be funny.

[John Holmberg]

They gotta kill this dude and they know it. I'm not saying anything from what I expect. I just know they're gonna kill him and they're gonna. It's gonna be one of the. Oh my. Prince Andrew's fallen from a second floor, hasn't he? He's always clumsy. He's such a clumsy prince. It is our great regret that we have lost my brother Prince Andrew to a tumble from a window at Castle Windsor.

[Guest Caller]

Oh, what happened?

[John Holmberg]

He was so close to the window and took a misstep and out he went. Paramedics did all they could.

[Brady]

Radio fell in the bathtub.

[John Holmberg]

Sadly, he also fell on one of mum's corgis. So we've lost two beloved members of the family today. That corgi knew. Anyway, they're killing that guy. So prepare yourself for that next conspiracy because that's a good one. And the royal family will of course get away with it, but it can't be as clumsy as the Princess Diana thing. So you ask Glenn, what do I think of the Princess Diana thing? Most elaborate murder in my lifetime. I mean, that is a. What a plan.

[Guest Caller]

Then get the car up to breakneck speeds and smash it into the side of the tunnel. Please, her side first.

[John Holmberg]

What if the other people in the car die, love?

[Guest Caller]

Well, then so be it. As long as that goes away.

[John Holmberg]

Prince Andrew's laying on top of a child.

[Guest Caller]

We'll get to that in another day. Right now we're focused on killing my former daughter in law.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, your Dave Nashes are coming out. Wait until you find out why Michael Jackson was murdered.

[John Holmberg]

There's a guy in jail for it. So it wasn't that he wasn't murdered. I don't think Michael was too against his murder. I think he was really enjoying the pills and the propofol and he's a big one. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. They killed him too. You think Michael was gonna spill the beans?

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe diddle the wrong kid or something?

[Guest Caller]

Yeah, but wouldn't that kid.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't it kill the kid you're talking about?

[Brett Vesely]

Probably the parents. Probably.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Pulled together and said they pulled some money with the doctor.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you load him up? He's gonna get away with this again, so let's just.

[Guest Caller]

Hi, guys. What's going on with my new doctor? I just really want to be asleep for a little while. Do you have anything?

[John Holmberg]

Now's my chance. Sure, Michael. I got tons of stuff for him.

[Guest Caller]

Just load me up. Is Prince here?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's outside. He's singing songs in the studio.

[Guest Caller]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

He. He. Is Daddy awake yet? What's going on in there? By the way, it's Prince, not Michael. I'm the spitting image of my father. Biological father. I call him bio pops. Debbie.

[Guest Caller]

Prince, come on in here. Your daddy's sleepy.

[John Holmberg]

Daddy. Why are you always so tired?

[Guest Caller]

Oh, Prince, you were just a chip off the old block.

[John Holmberg]

Should I try some sleepy juice too, Daddy? Sleepy juice?

[Guest Caller]

No, Prince, stay away from the sleepy juice.

[Brady]

I swished bottles last minute.

[John Holmberg]

Daddy, I have to talk to you about something.

[Guest Caller]

What is it?

[John Holmberg]

Oppression. It's hard to be a black man in America.

[Guest Caller]

I know. And you're gonna get called lots of things like cracker and whitey.

[John Holmberg]

What? Why? He's David Johnson. I don't understand.

[Guest Caller]

Show daddy your new dance. Oh, my God. You move like an angel.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, Daddy, a boy called me the N word and then laughed. What do I do?

[Guest Caller]

Oh, no, Prince, you're experiencing oppression.

[John Holmberg]

It's so hard. I don't think I can get a job.

[Brady]

A ride on the carousel will solve everything.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go outside and play with those random kids you keep around.

[Guest Caller]

That's a good idea. Bring pictures back.

[John Holmberg]

Moonwalked out of the room. Don't matter if I'm tough.

[Brett Vesely]

Being a black man in a white.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta get the out of la. The cops always hassling me. I get berries flashing their high beams behind me. Hehe. Being Prince Jackson is difficult. Don't you murder my daddy. It's just another black man getting killed by the man. Yeah, no, I'm all in on the. On the conspiracy that they're killing those royals. But that Andrew guys got to go. So they've noticed something. John, every time you start talking about Epstein, Brady changes the subject. And this time he went to the moon. I didn't notice that. That's true. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. That Caitlyn trip's getting a little more curious, isn't it? Anyway, it's a weird thing, but yeah, if you're asking about Princess Diana, I will tell you right away. I am a firm believer it's 1.

[Brady]

1. One person a day is getting basically impacted by the Epstein thing.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

Today's a read about an agent, Hollywood. Oh yeah, Chapel Roan's guy, she just.

[John Holmberg]

Dumped him because he dumped him and.

[Brady]

He represents a Imagine Dragons a ton of.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't he also Weinstein related? And Epstein, like this dude had a strike against him to begin with and then this hit him too. And yeah, Chapel Roan just dumped her agency and all that. And there's all sorts of weird stuff going on with that, but you know, they pulled the sweater thread. You're gonna find out a bunch of things, but.

[Brett Vesely]

I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T know. Everybody's yelling at Sarah, the girl that said her vagina is not currency. Donovan says, yeah, Sarah, everyone's so nice to you because you get such a great personal. That's why, that's why dudes will tolerate you yelling at him or spitting. Very true. Oh my God. Now everybody's sending me pictures of Eileen Gu, the Chinese skier. Stop that. I got an email from a guy that said, john, do you ever read these? And it's a. It's a sex advice column on some. On Slate. And the answer to back was no, but it was a letter somebody wrote and just what kind of pigs are you? Says we were house sitting for some friends who had been away on a vacation internationally. And I'm afraid we've created a mess for my friend Alex and his wife. My husband and I had sex the time we stayed at Alex and Amy's. The condom we used, we threw in the trash in the bathroom of their bedroom. We didn't think anything of it. Right there. What a couple of pigs.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It says, the trouble is Amy came home and spotted it when she was dumping the garbage several days after they came back. She and Alex don't use condoms, so now she thinks Alex is cheating on her. My husband and I came to the house and said, Amy, we did that. We pigged out in your house and did that. She thinks we're trying to cover for him because we've been friends with Alex since college. Now Alex is living with us and Amy's contemplating divorce. Is there anything we can do short of a lie detector test to prove his innocence? And then they signed it condom Cluster F. First off, your friends trusted you to watch their home. You're adults. They don't go over there and bone. And if you do, the evidence is not left in their trash.

[Brett Vesely]

Flush it.

[John Holmberg]

You flush it. Or you put it in a baggie and you take it to your house. You want you left. Believe anything, especially a used rubber. You have a used rubber and you're like, just put that in the trash. Amy will get to it. What you got? And then you forget about it. You just left it there. That is disgusting. When I was.

[Brady]

Oh, by the way. And yeah, everything's good in the house. And the kitchen waste can is full too.

[John Holmberg]

We didn't have to do that either. I was dropping. I didn't run the sink, but I poured most of the contents into that. So if it looks like there's a lot of lotion dried up there, that's me.

[Brett Vesely]

Now the question is too, did they.

[John Holmberg]

Wash the sheets exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

Or did those pigs just leave it?

[John Holmberg]

They hogged out on their bed, sheets.

[Brady]

Are in the laundry room, and the dishes are dirty.

[John Holmberg]

You just. They're just pigs. Now, each of us in this room, save for Brady, has had sex in someone's house when they've watched it for them. There's no question about that. I, in fact, used to watch my best friend's mom's place when she'd go out of town. And she'd go out of town quite a bit. And that was when I had a girlfriend. And not only did I have sex in her bed, I never cleaned up after. I was a teenage boy. You had entrusted to watch your home. What did you expect?

[Brett Vesely]

Get what you pay for.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. She had one of those motionless waterbeds. And the girl I was into was just thought that was the coolest thing in the world. So I gave her the goods on that a lot. Never once did I think we should peel these back. And everything had to be just covered in evidence. And I told my friend's mom recently that I used to do that. And she said. And the conversation ended. Oh, I know. But she kept asking me to watch her house and her dogs, Buffy and Winnie. She would continually ask me to do that.

[Brady]

It was a smoking deal.

[John Holmberg]

For it was. I got a free place to stay for a couple of days to hose my girlfriend.

[Brady]

And you're responsible enough look that no damage would happen to the house.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, define defined. Yes, defined damage. Because there was definitely gross or stuff leaving the house. Oh, I wouldn't steal. Lord, no. I was raised almost properly. We tried the guest Room, you know, it had.

[Brady]

Not the same.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we gave it a good go. I mean, it was multiples in there. The couch, the kitchen. And then the girlfriend discovered the big, giant, like, waveless waterbed. And once she got on that, she's like, this thing's weird. And I'm like, yeah. And then I just saw the twinkle in her eye, and I just. We just hammered that duvet, and then we slept in it. Like, we stayed in that bed because it was the most comfortable one. And then it just became habit.

[Brett Vesely]

But then you're sleeping in somebody else's.

[John Holmberg]

And that I never thought of at the time because my brain was so focused on one.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you're 17 years old.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't care.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it didn't matter.

[Brady]

Could have been a sleeping.

[John Holmberg]

It could have been an alley. It didn't matter. I was gonna do this. This was a girl that was willing to let me lay on her. I was going to take advantage of that for as long as it lasted. It lasted a couple years. But you can be a pig. Adults. When you trust Brett to come to my house and I come home and there's rubbers in the. Brett might lose his job. I might actually come and go like, Brett. That's enough. We can't even be deserve to. And you would.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Visit Holmberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

As far as her. You know, unless this guy, the husband, has, I guess, gone outside the marriage numerous times, you'd think between the couple, and he wholeheartedly denying that this didn't happen. This isn't me.

[John Holmberg]

But if it's.

[Brady]

I think she'd be able to get over that factor.

[John Holmberg]

Believe him. Maybe there could be some trust issues.

[Brady]

Yeah. However, beforehand, then that's a tough one to.

[John Holmberg]

There's a rubber in the bathroom, and it's like six days after you change.

[Brady]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I mean, it seems like something you could talk yourself out of. The guy's. The guy made mistakes on the initial confrontation with the wife of going, huh? What? I didn't do anything. He probably. What are you up my ass for? He probably got angry, which is a. Like a sign. Instead of going, I don't know anything about that. DNA, test it. And that's what you have to do. You got a DNA, test that rubber.

[Brett Vesely]

John, this just proves the point. Nothing good has ever come from using a condom.

[John Holmberg]

I totally agree. Totally agree. They got that plan B pill now. Condoms are pointless, and it's hard to catch STDs tell that to your kids. It's like the percentage. It is hard to catch them. I was reading about that the other day. It's like this dude was like, AIDS is cured. It's nearly impossible to get HIV unless you're doing it with like intravenous drug using homosexuals. The odds are a lot higher there if you're just doing it with a regular bra.

[Brady]

Nick, just ask her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the hep C. Are you homo? You know, you wouldn't ask the girls that. Your odds are not increasing with a female homosexual that you're having heterosexual sex.

[Brady]

Look, I want to get everything out of the table.

[John Holmberg]

If you're having anal sex with a female homosexual intravenous drug user, you're. You're rolling dice. Anyway, now switch it up to homosexual sex with a gay on gay. And then, you know, you. You can get mad that it's like a stereotype. But it is statistically proven by the CDC that your. The chances go through the roof.

[Brett Vesely]

Brian wants to know what's worse at your house. If somebody drops a deuce at your house or leaves a condom in the trash.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. I mean, that's just. You're really just. You know, what's worse, Eating poop or eating cat poop? I mean, it's. If you dropped a condom in the trash.

[Brady]

If you dropped a deuce and left it.

[Brett Vesely]

No, but just, Just like, like when, like when Captain. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah.

[Brady]

Knew about it.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

If I'm home and you take a dump at my house, you're out for good. Right. If I trust you to watch my house and you poop while I'm not there. That's okay.

[Brett Vesely]

So out of sight, out of mind. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If. I don't know. And there's no, like, evidence of like.

[Brady]

You'Re supposed to be living there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I've given you the 24 hours a day kind of watch my dogs and things. Like. Yeah, I'm fine with you dropping a dime and loading up on that. Now if the toilet overflows and you leave it, you know, you're buying me a new toilet and you're gonna pay for some plumbing and some. I'm gonna have to retile that room and paint the condom in the. And again, you know, had a dog sitter for a while there. And then on the cameras, her boyfriend would come in and they'd smoke weed constantly. And they were great with the dogs. You know, I loved her. She was awesome. And I'm like. I assumed they were in the guest room and he was just putting it to her. And sometimes I'd go back when I'd come home and the guest room bed was off the wall, you know, like he'd rocked her to where the bed actually scooted across the tile a little bit, so it was like a foot and a half away from where it normally be. Like, oh, right, yeah, he's giving it to her good. And I was okay with that. Just not in my bed. I try not to get it on the couch. Dame says, can't you just taste the condom and know the difference? A good woman would. A good woman would be able to do that.

[Guest Caller]

This isn't your brew.

[John Holmberg]

Who's.

[Brett Vesely]

I had asparagus for lunch. Been in there for a week.

[Guest Caller]

We'll just add a little water and it comes back to life like sea monkeys.

[Brett Vesely]

Did we give seven o' clock word out?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, we did. It is intense. I N T E N S e intense. Put that 7 o' clock word in there in the app. So, yeah, if you're gonna do that at somebody else's house, for God's sakes, clean up after yourself. Leave no evidence. Be like, you know, that's why you should always have native Americans watch your house. They leave only footprints and they take memories. They clean up after themselves is what I'm saying. You're going to be out a lot of Budweiser, but at least the trash goes out. They're not going to leave it just laying around. That is a filthy human being. That condoms up your trash can and leaves it there. That house should look exactly the same way when the people come home as it did when they left. I mean, the trash should be empty. Everything should be cleaned the same way they gave it to you. Should be given back. Like when somebody let you borrow their car, you. You give it back with that same amount of gas in it. Exactly the same.

[Brady]

And I'm okay for whatever amount of, like, food that was in the pantry or the refrigerator.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I left it. I left it for you. That's fine. But you give it back the way you got it and we. Yeah. Let you know, hey, everything in the fridge is fair game. You don't have to replace that. But clean it. Don't leave it laying around. Only plates and stuff all over the place.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't want to walk in the house and be like iron Eyes Cody and just have the tear coming down. Stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

Drunk Indian and beer cans like, what the hell? Kushkosh. I trusted you. I had jerked off in your bed. Oh, no. So, yeah, be decent to each Other. For God's sakes, if I asked you to watch the house, that's all you gotta do. Make sure the dogs don't. And if you're gonna do something, clean.

[Brett Vesely]

Up, have some class.

[Brady]

Your $600 worth of fish don't die.

[John Holmberg]

You had that happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Would you rather have come home to buckets of condoms? It was a lot cheaper. Right, but still, you're never gonna let that guy watch your house again. More than likely, the fish died cause he was banging in the house and not paying attention to your fish. Wasn't he young, too?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See, you hired a teenager to do well.

[Brady]

No, he was, you know, 20, but.

[John Holmberg]

He was a little bit retarded, if I remember who it is. Right. Also a thief. Yeah, yeah. He's known to. Steve was known around the building as this. He stole things. And I would scream out, he's stealing. And everybody be like, no, he's not. He's like.

[Brady]

He went three for four. I mean, he washed my house like, four times.

[John Holmberg]

And you caught him once. That's basically what you're saying. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Which time did you catch? Was that the last time?

[Brady]

When all of a sudden he's like, bro, the heat went out, the AC.

[John Holmberg]

Went off, and his fish, all Brady's tropical fish partners, boiled up.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I think. To be honest with you, I think that Brady's fish had to go four days without Brady feeding him a special brew. Because that was when Brady used to give his fish the.

[Brady]

They're turning pale.

[John Holmberg]

The semen diet. They seem to be just, like, dying to eat something that I don't know how to provide.

[Guest Caller]

Okay, go in the freezer.

[Brady]

I swear, the one talks.

[Guest Caller]

There's a package with a skull and crossbones on it. Looks like mayonnaise. Pour it in the fish tank.

[John Holmberg]

Don't ask any questions.

[Brady]

Half a scoop only.

[Guest Caller]

There's some air freshener next to the thing because the house is about to smell like frozen bleach. Don't ask questions.

[John Holmberg]

What is it, Brady?

[Guest Caller]

It's 10cc's of love for fish.

[Brady]

Do fish like bleach?

[John Holmberg]

This is bleach, bro.

[Guest Caller]

It is not bleach. I repeat, it is not bleach.

[John Holmberg]

It says do not eat.

[Guest Caller]

I know, but that's be. Just put it in there, the fish.

[John Holmberg]

Will come back to life.

[Guest Caller]

I give you life.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was. That was my theory. But he also hired a convicted thief to watch his. That kid was in Liar. Like, he was hosing all over that house. Hookers, all sorts of terrible things. Fact. No Reason for this? Jason says you had sex and never washed that woman's sheets, you dirty Jew. All right, we just had a commercial about this.

[Brady]

I got you, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, that was Prince Jackson. I've got you, bro. Us brothers have to stick together. What do you got on the big board of Musical Treats there, Bert? Wake up. Song time.

[Brett Vesely]

Lots of stuff up here. Some Nine Inch Nails. Concerning the contest. We're running Nickelback, Electric Call Boy, Static X, Thrice Corn, Benny. Mardona's into the Night for Prince Andrew. Also, it would have been Cliff Burton's 62nd birthday, I believe.

[Guest Caller]

Shut up.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, so got Leper Messiah and Kala.

[John Holmberg]

Cthulhu. We do it for Cliff every year, it seems. So we should do it again. All right. I don't care which one you want to go with. Cthulhu is a great bass line. Both of them are actually.

[Brady]

It went 64.

[Brett Vesely]

64?

[John Holmberg]

4 years old. That's wild. We'll do Call of cthulhu. Although it's 8. 9. All right. It's a long song. Awfully long.

[Brett Vesely]

Almost to the Metallica songs with Clifford.

[Brady]

How about this?

[John Holmberg]

Very true.

[Brady]

48 years ago, on this day, Van Halen's self titled debut album released today.

[John Holmberg]

Is Van Halen one? Yeah. 48 years. Double shot, man. All right, scratch the Metallica. We're going with a little Van Halen. Let's do something we don't normally do off that record.

[Brett Vesely]

It's probably not in the system then. Here, I'll pull them up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you get.

[Brady]

Ain't talking about love. Running with the Devil. Jamie's crying.

[John Holmberg]

Those are the heads. Let's do Atomic Punk.

[Brett Vesely]

That might be the system.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Atomic Punk is great. We'll do that one. That's the closer to the whole thing, too. 10. Atomic punk is such a great. So that's 48 years old. Oh, my God, that's bananas. So let's do the math in John's head, shall we? 48 years ago, of course, was 1978. Is that right? Yep.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

48 years prior to that. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

40.

[John Holmberg]

No, 1920.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, 30. 1930. Were there any songs in 1930 that were popular in 1978 or would be hits in 1978? And the answer to that is clearly no blacks. No blacks. No blacks. In 1978, that wouldn't have been a thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at this first album.

[Brady]

Ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

I know. Eruption. Well, it starts with Running with the Devil. Eruption. You really got me Ain't talking about love oh, I'm the one that's what we're going to play. I haven't heard that. That's a great one.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

And this is. If you release this today. Amazing. Back in 1930, which was 48 years before this. I'm gonna go outside right now in the sunshine Nevada pattern. No blacks, no blacks, no blacks, no blacks. It's springtime in Germany and nothing can go wrong Germany is my favorite place. No blacks, no blacks, no blacks. Nothing in 1978 from 1930 would work. Jesus, like Mormonism was like five years old in 1930. And that is the same amount of time that has passed since this album. My God. And people are requesting that one now. Could you play that 1930s hit?

[Guest Caller]

I'm walking through the field with the.

[John Holmberg]

Penguins and the trees and no blacks around me no blacks, no blacks, no blacks, no blacks, no blacks in 1930 go to the speakeasy. It's tough times since the stock market crashed, but at least there's no blacks. I could write songs from the 30s, man. For hours. It's easy. It's low hanging fruit, man. I ran into a guy and he was brown I fed him right back out of my hometown no blacks, no browns, no blacks around it's five o'. Clock. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. That's what they would sing about. Sundown Town. It's five o' clock and there aren't any blacks around We've done a job. Think about that time gap, 1930 to 1978. We went from that. What I'm singing. They're huge hits. Huge hits that I'm bringing back to I'm the One by Van halen. And then 48 years since then has passed and this would still be a hit. Although I think maybe what I've created might also get cleaned up by AI and be a hit as well. Let's do it. I'm the one badass rock song right here. Timeless. 98. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.