02-10-26 - Things Keep Breaking In Italy Olympics - Watching Olympics More If Eileen Gu Keeps Competing - Chandler Man Sets Record For Most Stranger Things Memorabilia And We Have Theories On Collectors

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 02-10-26
Date: February 10, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Topics: Malfunctions at the Italy Olympics, Eileen Gu's Olympic stardom, a Chandler man’s Stranger Things memorabilia record, and reflections on pop culture collecting.

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively blend of topical jokes, pop culture commentary, and trademark HMS banter. The hosts launch into discussions on embarrassing Olympic mishaps in Italy, segue to the awe and allure of superstar athlete Eileen Gu, and dive into the psychology (and perceived romantic perils) of obsessive collectors — all with their irreverent, comedic tone.
Listeners get a healthy dose of opinions on everything from streaming Olympic events to the social downsides of having 2,300+ Stranger Things collectibles in your home.

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Key Discussions and Insights

1. Italy Olympics Mishaps ([01:05]–[03:36])

• Olympic Breakdown: The Italian Olympics are suffering frequent, embarrassing malfunctions — medals breaking, podiums collapsing, raising eyebrows about the event’s construction quality.
  • John: “The same people that built this building did all the work over there in Ital. The Olympics, because I don't know if you're paying attention to what's going on over there, but the medals are breaking. And then there was a podium and the team ice skating thing that just collapsed.” [01:15]
  • Brady: “I'm just wondering who decided to, you know, let's save some money.” [01:44]
• Quality Control Jokes: Jabs are made about cut corners, possible use of cheap suppliers like Temu, and insurance payoffs.
  • John: “It's just blowing up another one. They're just. Just give them gold chocolates and a. Give them promissory notes that they own. Now however many ounces of gold a gold medal would be...” [02:25]

2. Eileen Gu – The Must-Watch Olympic Superstar ([03:56]–[10:14])

• Eileen Gu’s Appeal: Eileen Gu, the Chinese-American freestyle skier, captures the crew’s attention with her talent, appearance, and remarkable life.
  • John: “Eileen Goo. Man, oh man, Goo is the right thing. She's gorgeous.” [04:13]
  • Brady: “The goo's a superstar.” [06:52]
• National Allegiances: There's recurring fascination (and mild frustration) over Gu's choice to compete for China despite being American-born and living the Californian lifestyle.
  • John: “I don't like her. She's an American and she's skiing for China...Every picture of her is in America...but if China produced more of that, I'd be a communist tomorrow.” [06:53]
• Her Phenomenal Skillset: They describe her tricks — multiple flips, backward skiing — and express awe at the athleticism on display.
  • John: “Chicks were...going six, seven spins and flips on one jump, landing backwards and then hitting the next ramp backwards. And I'm like, well, cancel the ski jump because that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen compared to this.” [08:27]
• Olympics vs. Modern TV Consumption: The hassle of streaming different events vs. just flipping on TV in the past is lamented.
  • John: “With the Olympics...you turned on the TV...whatever they sent you to, you did. Now it's like, oh, you want to go to Peacock? You got to pay for that.” [04:33]

Notable Quotes

• John (on Eileen Gu): “She's kind of my Chinese Dua Lipa. You know, if she came over and said, 'Xinjiang Ping Ping Ping has a lot of good ideas,' I’d be like, 'Yeah, I think so too.'” [08:53]
• John (on simping for Eileen Gu): “Will you go get me a donut? ... Okay, I'll be back tomorrow. No problem. Your donut. Because I love you.” [09:25]
• Brett: “She is tall.” [09:39]
• Brady: “The goo's a superstar.” [06:52]

3. Collectors, Obsessions, and Romantic Red Flags ([17:18]–[38:38])

• Stranger Things Mania in Chandler: Spotlight on Joey Avalos, who holds the world record with 2,301 Stranger Things collectibles, prompts the hosts to roast collecting habits.
  • John: “You have basically just checked your dick out of the game from normal broads.” [18:22]
  • Brett: “What do you think the last time he got laid was? Oh, season one.” [19:50]
• Collecting = Romantic Downfall? The hosts argue that extreme pop culture obsessions are a surefire romantic red flag, especially if they take up an entire room.
  • John: “You go. You have a house filled with collectible anything. It's a red flag to every normal girl.” [20:40]
  • John: “You need the one friend that goes through and goes, we got to help these guys out.” [33:41]
• But What About Sports Memorabilia? John draws a “clear” line between sports rooms ("chicks dig the bar") and collection shrines to shows, poking fun at his own Steelers bar.
  • John: “Steelers are different. It’s a live sporting event, and I built a whole room in the back, and it's a bar, and we get drunk. If he had a bar dedicated to Stranger Things... It's Vecnaar's Den.” [25:35]

Notable Quotes

• John (on Funko Pops): “Do you hate your dick? Like your dick is filing for separation.” [22:14]
• Brett: “Sounds like you're talking about the 40 year old virgin when they go into Steve Carell's...” [24:53]
• John (on women and collecting): “You can't comp sports stuff to a Stranger Things death kill den. You just can't. It's weird.” [28:54]
• John (on gender and collecting): “Hot girls aren't gonna collect stranger things stuff...Hot girls aren't collecting no WWE stuff either.” [35:55-35:58]

4. Gender Dynamics & Success ([30:29]–[33:39])

• Double Standards in Dating: The hosts ruminate on how wealth and collecting habits play out differently for men and women.
  • John: “Again, you show a woman a picture of a man in a suit who's incredibly handsome and show that same man in a Burger King outfit, she's gonna be like, man in a suit's better.” [30:28]
• If You Have Money, It's Eccentric — If Not, It's Creepy:
  • John: “When you have a billion dollars and you have a Stranger Things room, oh my God. He's a collector. He's eccentric...but if you had a billion dollars, you'd just have the girl that played 11 in your house all the time on display.” [30:09]

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Memorable Moments & Running Gags

• Rapid-Fire Imagined Dialogues: The hosts break out into role-playing bits, improvising conversations like Eileen Gu asking for a donut [09:25], or a WWE-obsessed woman inviting a guest over. [36:14]
• Mockery of Newsworthy 'Records': “Guinness gave a guy he folded 250 functional paper airplanes in an hour. At least it's only an hour of his day...” [25:05]
• Collecting Across Genders: Anecdotes about men and women, both, crossing the line from casual fan to “potential future Dateline feature.” [34:36]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:05] – Malfunctions and construction quality at the Italy Olympics
• [03:56] – Introduction of Eileen Gu; Olympic streaming complaints
• [05:12] – The appeal of Eileen Gu and her background
• [07:21] – Fascination and jokes about Gu's hybrid national identity
• [08:27] – Details on freestyle skiing tricks, athletic awe
• [17:18] – News about the Chandler Stranger Things collector
• [19:50] – The intersection of collecting and romantic possibilities
• [25:35] – Comparing sports memorabilia collections to TV show shrines
• [30:28] – Gender, wealth, and dating double standards
• [33:41] – The need for friends to offer collecting 'interventions'
• [36:14] – Imaginary dialogue of a WWE superfan woman

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Tone and Language

• Irreverent and Playful: Consistent with HMS brand, conversations are roasted, exaggerated, and peppered with mock voices and hypotheticals.
• Candidly Crude: Off-color jokes and playful jabs abound, particularly regarding gender, collecting habits, and attraction.
• Conversational: The episode feels like a group of friends bantering at a bar—as much riffing and inside jokes as there are structured topics.

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Takeaways for New Listeners

• The hosts blend topical humor, local stories, and pop culture—expect tangents, but every subject is delivered with quick wit and pointed commentary.
• If you have an eccentric collection, or opinions on the value of gold medals, you'll find yourself both laughed at and in on the joke.
• Eileen Gu is now officially an HMS-approved way to get people to watch the Olympics—just don't mention it to your spouse if you have a Stranger Things room.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John]

Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome. Hold on.

[Brady]

Nice.

[John]

I was fine. Come in this building, I start hacking it up.

[Brett Vesely]

They're gassing us at something, man.

[John]

There's something going on. We're getting gas. Yeah, we are.

[Brett Vesely]

Podcast is a little too successful for them.

[John]

I think maybe the other stations are gassing us. I'm dying. And I was absolutely fine driving in this morning. Like, God, I'm finally. I got no snot, no nothing. I walk in this building, and now that it's flooding down my throat, I can't. Anyway, for now, before the gas kicks in, my name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. Big dick Toledo. We're off and running. And I think the same people that built this building did all the work over there in Ital. The Olympics, because I don't know if you're paying attention to what's going on over there, but the medals are breaking. And then there was a podium and the team ice skating thing that just collapsed. Oh, I don't know what you're talking about. Union job these guys have.

[Brady]

I'm just wondering who decided to, you know, let's save some money.

[John]

I don't know if it's.

[Brady]

And they decided on the medals.

[John]

It's teemu. They went through teemu. They. Everything is, dude, when a podium breaks. I've never seen that before. That's. That's. That's some low level third world crap right there. That's hilarious.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, you didn't pay the unions.

[John]

You got to pay the people. You know, I'm talking about Things happen. You come over to Italy, you know, we'll build it, but you know you're not going to pay for it. It ain't going to be great quality. We get the Chinese to do it. Temu Metals, they're next.

[Brady]

We're going to want. They'll start on fire.

[John]

Yeah, just start bursting into flames. Oh, looks like your ice ring's burning.

[Brett Vesely]

It happens.

[John]

I don't know why you didn't pay your insurance payments to the right people. Yeah, Italy is. I mean there was a guy jumping up and down with a medal the other day and it bounced off his chest and shattered like it was made of. It's temu, it's gold. The whole point of remember he owe somebody sample, he'd bite it like he couldn't get. There's no. It's just blowing up another one. They're just. Just give them gold chocolates and a. Give them promissory notes that they own. Now however many ounces of gold a gold medal would be, I think people would rather have that. It's five grand an ounce right now. So give me seven, eight ounces of gold. That's a pretty nice deal. Put it on a, on a certificate and then it's like a shopping thing spree at temu. How about that? Let me get this straight. You're advocating for gelt? Yes, I'm advocating for gelt in the exact Toledo's right gelt or a nice promissory note. I don't know what these people would rather have the promissory. Now give me some paperwork instead of this chunky pile of garbage. Hey, maybe I am advocating for it, but I think so were all the athletes that thought they just won a gold medal and found out they've got some, you know, tin plated thing.

[Brady]

They want to make it look, you know, bigger. You just go smaller and pin it like you're getting in a military award. Yeah, make it a solid gold.

[John]

What happened? You ever watched the old Olympics in like the 60s? It was just. It was about the size of a silver dollar. What they're putting in these things, these guys are getting, you know, belt buckles from rode events.

[Brett Vesely]

Look like Flavor Flav walking out there and stuff.

[John]

At least his works. Hilarious. Anyway, so yeah, the Olympics, it's kind of hard to watch them. Except for that Eileen goo. Oh man. Chinese snowboard superstar. No, ski skis is a freestyle skier. They do all sorts of jumps. But she's from America. I think her mom or whatever's Chinese and she's a model on Top of it all, Eileen Gu. Man, oh man, Goo is the right thing. She's gorgeous.

[Brady]

I just got to know when the, you know, lineup, like when things are happening.

[John]

Yeah, I don't care. I just. I turn it on and let the. I like.

[Brady]

When can we catch Eileen Goo?

[John]

I guess she was on last night. You just got. It's crapshoot. Yeah, it's what I. With the Olympics. As I was growing up, I didn't have the a la carte Olympics. You turned on the TV and Jim McKay would say, now we're going to go watch people jump. I'm like, okay. And whatever they sent you to, you did. Now it's like, oh, you want to go to Peacock? You got to pay for that. You know that. Oh, you get a free subscription if you sign up for this. That. I'm like, wait a minute, what? Just turn it to channel 12. And what do you got? Now jump back and forth and, you know, you go to curling and then Eileen Goo. Eileen Goo is smoking hot, like so. And in her like little snowboarding thing, just her eyes show.

[Brady]

Oh, she's like a square tail.

[John]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like a Disney princess. She got those. They're not like. She's not. I don't know. This sounds bad. She's not like American looking, but she's also not full out Chinese. You know, pull her up, Brett. Face off pie. You know, she's not. It's a. You know what I'm talking about. You guys get it?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

You know what I'm saying? Like when you look over, you're like, oh, look at that Chinese person. And Brett, you'd loved it last night. All they kept doing is going, talking about her, the slope and stuff that she had to go down.

[Brett Vesely]

That's why I don't watch it.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh my God, I get in trouble.

[John]

Eileen Goo. And she, she. She wrestles for China, but she's from San Francisco. She goes to Stanford. She's full out American. This lady is stunning. And I mean like in all sorts of holy crap, girl next door plus model ways. And she's beautiful. She's out there skating around in her.

[Brady]

Skis and she gonna medal.

[John]

She got a silver. She fell down twice. She had a great first run. And then there's some girl from Switzerland or something that was. Had a body on her, but her head was goofy. Yeah. Eileen Goo. And then Eileen Goo's like, oh my God, I had such a day. The gondola ride to the top of the mountain was an hour So I studied for my stuff at Stanford, and then I went and I did my Olympic practices, and then I shot for the COVID of Vogue. And I'm like, oh, man. She's. She's lived more in that day than I have my whole life.

[Brett Vesely]

She has her vagina journal.

[John]

No, she's got journals. She handwrites journals.

[Brady]

The process.

[John]

Yeah, she's. Man, it's hard not to watch her, though. She's getting that little ski outfit and stuff. And she's very pretty.

[Brady]

The goo's a superstar.

[John]

I don't like her. She's an American and she's. She's skiing for China.

[Brady]

Why?

[John]

And she does. She's got this thing for. For China, but I'd root for her to win a gold medal.

[Brett Vesely]

And was she born there or here?

[John]

I don't know. Her parents. Something about. Her mom and dad were Chinese, but they moved over to San Francisco, which I guess you keep. But I mean, every picture of her is in America. Like, she's. She's loving the life of America, but if China produced more of that, I'd be a communist tomorrow.

[Brett Vesely]

So she's a snow scare.

[John]

Yeah, she does all sorts of tricks. No, like, skis, but she does, like, amazing stuff that you can't even like she skis backwards at 100 miles an hour and then does jumps. It's. It's. Her event is freestyle. I don't know what you call it. Is it freestyle? It is crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

So she did good on the slopes.

[John]

Stop. Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

What?

[John]

Come on. I knew I couldn't talk to you about this like an adult.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't.

[John]

Don't trip. Giggle on it. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't believe what I was looking at last night. And then she gets tall. She is. And then she gives you that side eye when she. She. She had. The Swiss girl did a great. Like. She was fantastic. They're like doing like six flips. They're hitting these ramps and like doing six or seven flips in the air. I mean, you think that ski jump thing is neat? You know, when people just go straight down and then go and fly for a while and then land for distance? These. These chicks were. Oh, yeah. They were going six, seven spins and flips on one jump, landing backwards and then hitting the next ramp backwards. And I'm like, well, cancel the ski jump because that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen compared to this.

[Brady]

See the.

[John]

Look at her.

[Brady]

One dude did a 2340.

[John]

I don't even know what that means, Brady. That's a lot of math, 360s.

[Brady]

It was like 73 60s or something like that.

[John]

Maybe that's why she's Chinese. She can do that kind of Math. I can't. 2340. I don't know. And then you got to grab a skier. It doesn't count. You gotta. Oof. But the girl that went before her ran up like a ridiculous. Look at this. Like the way they do. This is it. And that's little stuff. They start off.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not a big slope.

[John]

And yeah, they land on like rails and, and handrails and then get back on the slopes. But she is, she's special. She's kind of my Chinese dua lipa. You know, if she came over and said, you know, Xinjiang Ping Ping Ping has a lot of good ideas and be like, yeah, I think so too. I'm all in on that whole communism thing. Yeah, I would definitely simp for that.

[Eileen]

Will you go get me a donut?

[John]

Yes.

[Eileen]

Ah, the closest donut place is 150 miles away.

[John]

Okay, I'll be back. I'll be back tomorrow. No problem. Your donut. Because I love you. I think. Whoops, was that out loud? I'll be back.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

She is tall.

[John]

She's tall. Leggy, supermodel, 22. It's bad. It's, you know, perverted. But man, she's got. Got something. All these Chinese athletes wandering around going, oh, holy crap. Like, they love. We going team. Holy crap. I think I heard that last night a lot. She and our team. Holy crap. Oh, my Go Stanford. All of the Chinese team goes to Stan. That's what the Chinese say to her all the time. Herogo, man. Yeah, I can't get enough of.

[Brett Vesely]

Look Asian.

[John]

That's the. She doesn't.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, like, literally.

[John]

I think I made that.

[Brett Vesely]

I know. If you'd have told me that she was skiing for them, I'd be like, no, them?

[John]

Yeah, the other those people. You told me she's a filthy communist. I slapped you right in the mouth.

[Brett Vesely]

Exactly.

[John]

She's everything Kid Rock was singing for the other night. Turns out. Yeah, I would go full on Marxism, like, whatever. Like, I would. I'd tape my eyes down, see? And you staff, for what?

[Brett Vesely]

Giving me static about that.

[John]

I take my eyes down. I don't call them them. I want to be one. You're fighting everything of their existence. I'm trying to join the tribe.

[Brett Vesely]

Nope, not at all.

[John]

I would look like Buddha. I would have my, my bald head, my eyes taped back and sitting there going, irene goo. I would do the Thing Nobody would be mad. We'd move to Toronto just because it's fun to say. What do you want me to say? That's all I would say to her. I love you. What else do you want me to say?

[Eileen]

Just keep that up. I love that accent.

[John]

You are the only one are in guils. Do you want me to say Constant T. Awesome. Constant T. Also a good like folk band name. Oh, what else do you want me to say? Oringu, please. Me too. Toronto. We'll move up there and we'll just be like by some of these guys.

[Brett Vesely]

Know more about her than you guys.

[John]

Oh yeah. Oh, she's a. Look, trust me, she's throwing it out there.

[Brett Vesely]

Five, nine. She's born in the U. S. Yeah.

[John]

She'S U. S. Citizen but wrestles for China and I'm sure they got a.

[Brady]

Couple of tear jerking video montages for the Olympics for her.

[John]

Yeah, no, it's jerking montages but not tears. And yeah, she's a special one. I'm watching last night, just turned it on. I love that, I love that about tv. I don't like, I don't want to come home and program a network. That's been a thing for me for a while. I do like the idea of being able to pick what I want, but I tend to just watch stuff I've already seen when I pick it. So I don't watch TV like I used to and I'm a big TV fan, but I can't go home and just go, I'm going to program eight hours of television today. It needs to come to me. I like when TV came to me. That's why I like live events. So I turned it on last night and I'm like, what do the Olympics have to offer? First thing I see is good and I'm like, I'll watch this for a little bit. And like an hour that went by and I'm like, man, I could watch these there. And also, by the way, hot or otherwise. And that wouldn't. That did it actually helped.

[Brett Vesely]

It was everything.

[John]

It was pretty much everything. But their athleticism for what they're pulling off is it's gotta be the most amazing thing that's going on on those slopes. Stop it. See, I mean that's, it's remarkable how they're, what they're doing and just landing. And I've never seen anybody ski backwards like at 70 miles an hour and look over their shoulder and hit a ramp and then do like seven or eight more flips that they. I was so dizzy. But it looks. It's so effortless, it's almost boring. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness [e-mail] home morning sickness, like what they're doing is just not human. So, yeah, I am an Irene Goo super fan. Big time.

[Brett Vesely]

Now people are center of their Olympians.

[John]

There's a lot of good ones.

[Brett Vesely]

You see Jake, Paul's girl?

[John]

Oh, yeah, skater.

[Brady]

Set a record.

[John]

She's Dutch, right? Yeah, Yeah.

[Brady]

I think she did an Olympic record yesterday.

[John]

Yeah, her ass is not human. Yes, she's.

[Brady]

Do you see him crying when she.

[John]

Yeah, he cries. I would too. I'd cry every time I'd ask him in the room. Imagine she knows where.

[Brett Vesely]

Her butter's broke, man.

[John]

Her butter's throat.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that too.

[John]

Her butter's broke looking at that ass. I know.

[Brett Vesely]

Sorry, I'm a little confused.

[John]

Your mouth is not going to work while you look at those photos. What's her name? Ellen. Yeah, she's. Jake did well there and the two of them are kind of a power couple. But yeah, I've seen a lot of pictures of her. She's. And she. Yeah, she set some sort of record and she's a legitimate Olympian. She's. And those speed skating legs. I tell you what, that's getting it done. All those ladies out there. I've had two kids get on the ice. You'll be fine. Like give it an hour or two and you'll be in great shape. Evidently that makes you go, I gotta raise. I got a 15 year old and.

[Eileen]

An 18 year old. Let's see what she looks like after two kids.

[John]

You've had 15 years to get better and you're still complaining. Get on the ice. Rollerblades. How about that? We don't have a lot of ice. She was on those big rollerblades. That evidently gets it done. All right, well then stop complaining that your 15 year old made you fat two decades ago. By the way, I was reading the story this morning. Speak. Oh, wait, it's six o'. Clock. Six o'. Clock. Let's give away a code word so you guys can try to qualify yourselves for the Nine Inch Nails, the suite that feeds. We're going to give you tickets in a suite to Nine Inch Nails over there at Desert Diamond arena on March 6th. And the 6am word that you can go to 98kupd.com or go to the KUPD app and click on that and you'll see right there it says sweet that feeds. It gives you all the time to the day. 6:00am Write the word spiral. S, P, I, R, A, L. Put spiral in that code for 6am You've got one hour. And you put that in there and you'll get yourself qualified. Then we do a drawing. We're putting six couples. You can be gay, straight, friends, doesn't matter. But six twosomes will be in our suite. Pretty solid. I saw an article today that it was six years ago today that we started to wonder if Covid was here. It's been six years. Like, it was the 10th of February. We're like, wait a minute. We think we might have. We got a wave coming. We got something happening here. And this was when we were all, like, birds. We've been through this before. No big deal. And so it was kind of the first announcement. It wasn't out loud crazy yet, but it was kind of a. Keep your eyes on this sneaky little thing. It might. It might slide over to us. And then a couple weeks later, we had our cases. Then we had 10. They were 12. And in March, we canceled March Madness. Remember all that? And it was so. It was about a month from now when it all completely went haywire. But end of February is when we were like, no, this is happening. This guy says, who the hell's talking about Olympics? Talk about something relevant. What?

[Brady]

Nate.

[John]

Nate, your finger may not be on the pulse completely. What's relevant? I want Nate to say, what's your topic of the day? Who the hell is watching the Olympics? Eileen Goo, my friend. I. The Olympics are on. Watch it. I'm going to watch curling. I'm going to. I'm going to watch the turning point.

[Brady]

Got 6.1 million views.

[John]

Did you see Gutfeld last night? All right, calm down. Calm down. I'm trying to avoid all that. Yeah, dude, trust me on this one. Eileen Goo is relevant. I don't want to watch hot chicks. He's like that guy I saw on the news last night that actually felt bad for. He's from Chandler and he's on national news. They said, an Arizona man has broken a record. And I'm like, oh, hey, I'm interested. And then it was for his Stranger Things collection. He's got 2000. He's got 2301 items. And I'm like, oh, God, let him be Tucson. Come on. There's a no Chandler. Like, he's one of us. His name is Joey Avalos, and he was on the news last night. I thought to myself, joey. Joey Avalos has 2,301 Stranger Things items. And he's the record holder by, I'm guessing, 2,300. Because who else is collecting that? And to Joey, I say, hey, love what you love, right? Collect what you collect. But when the news calls and you're like, oh, boy, you have basically just checked your dick out of the game from normal broads. You are now.

[Brady]

He was ready to commit.

[John]

Nope. It's sad.

[Brady]

Let's go ahead. Let's announce it.

[John]

Yeah. He's like, you know what? Here's what I also want to be for the rest of my life. Celibate. I'm going to go for this. He's got his own strange. It's not even, like, a great show. It's good, but it's not a collect. Like, you can have a few things. Here's what you need to do if you're a friend of Joey's, is just go, hey, this is neat, man. Let's keep this, I don't know, in a storage shed or garage or basement or. Well, let's not go crazy wasting a whole room of your house, which will. It's a red flag to every normal girl if you showed a girl that you just met around your house, like, oh, this is the living room. I just got all the furniture. It's nice, I think. And then here's the dining room, and you just have dining in her kitchen. Let's go into my special I'm gonna kill you room, which is just nothing but Stranger Things memorabilia.

[Eileen]

Oh, okay, Vecna, I'm leaving.

[John]

And then you're just gonna. And she's gone.

[Brady]

So I should stop my Landman collection right now, right?

[John]

If you. Look, let me tell you right now, if you've got 10 items or more of Landman, you own the record. Calm down. 2300 is way overkill on this.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you think the last time he got laid was? Oh, season one.

[John]

That's right. It's been a minute. And then he said, you know what? My guess is he's tied some sort of special relationship with a girl. Two stranger things. And it was probably 10 years ago when the thing started where he's like, she likes it, too. So we wanted to impress her. And then he got weird about it, she bails, and he's like, well, that's the type of gal I like. You can't we have our own John Gordon here who has a full room at his house of Star wars collectibles, right? Yeah, like he dedicated a guest room. It's creepy.

[Brady]

Didn't he start that as a kid, though, or.

[John]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Doesn't matter.

[John]

Yeah. Thank you, Brad.

[Brett Vesely]

He's continuing.

[John]

What you need to do is what Ronnie made you or you made it to what, 37, 38. Before you got married. It was those beer can that was. They walked in the house.

[Brady]

Well, they didn't come over here. They were up in the attic.

[John]

Yeah. All right. Because everybody. Because you had friends brought them out and. And then it slowed some stuff 50. It slowed some things down. That back home is like, no girls. You go. You have a house filled with collectible anything. It Chicks are either going to show up and go, I like him so much that I'm going to ruin this. What Ronnie did. No, we're not putting these anywhere in the house. You can have us. And she was right. You can't do it. You can have. You have to build on a room for it. And then one room even still.

[Brady]

That's been in the garage for years.

[John]

Yeah. And that's where they belong, in the garage. Or a trash can or garbage was opened. Old cans of beer. And you keep the good ones and you sell them and you try to make some money and you just not for display purposes. 2301 Stranger Things items is overkill. You're way ahead. Stop. This is vecna from season three. He was going after 11 in this particular. Oh, wow. So can you still get a hard on or were you like, cursed with some sort of weird early onset impotence?

[Brady]

No.

[John]

This room to Stranger Things. You're never getting laid with this. And what is gonna try. And you is disturbingly bad. I'm just looking for a gal who's into it, like me. Oh, you guys are gonna have the weirdest kids. I want to be a friend to you. Congratulations. I really like your collection. Hide it from public. Don't let the news film you. It's awful. You might as well have gone on the news going, this guy's got more herpes than anyone in the world. I got 2,301 bumps. I'm a world record holder for herpes. Like, hey, guess who's never gonna try to touch your dick? And then on the news, he's like, I used to collect a lot of Funko Pops. I'm like, do you hate your dick? Like your dick is your dick is filing for separation.

[Brett Vesely]

A couple of those people. Rooms of Funko Pops.

[John]

And. And what's. What's missing from their hands?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, what's in their hands?

[John]

They keep their own. Yeah, their hands are in permanent kung fu grip.

[Brady]

They're full.

[John]

Yeah, they're not. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't do that. You know what women never do? Like, I remember I knew a girl once who. Not interested in her at all. But I worked with her and we went to her house and she had started to turn her own home into a salute to Disney. And it was. It was weird. Like she seemed normal. You go over to her house and her kitchen, all Disney. Then the hallway. No pictures of anything except Disney. And then a room that you just opened up and it's like, oh, she's insane. It was like, you know, even to the point where it was that princess, the one in New Orleans, the black princess one. And they're like, who's that? And she'd tell you the whole story, but I'm like, okay, we gots to go. She's got bodies in the basement. So to you, how'd she look, though? Not good. Chandler resident Joey Avalos. Guinness came by and gave you your award. Now scrap it, box it up, put the award on the wall, and then go about being a man again because I'm worried about you. And evidently you don't have any friends.

[Eileen]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you even put that award on the wall?

[John]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Like when, you know, some chick comes.

[John]

Over and goes, oh, what'd you get that for?

[Brett Vesely]

And then you tell her, no, Sahara, that's nothing happening.

[John]

Yeah, no, you're gonna see sand fall out of her like she's an hourglass. Yeah, she's gonna look like the beginning of Days of Our Lives. So much dirt falling out of that thing. And what you'd have to do is get that Guinness plaque and then take it over to a friend who's good with computers and I'm guessing Joe. He is. And you change that world record holder into longest marathon sex with one person ever. Kind of. And then put that on the wall. I started collecting right after the show came out, but there wasn't a lot of merch. So I started collecting Funko Pops. Like, oh, geez, I felt terrible for him. He was just announcing celibacy to the world.

[Brett Vesely]

Brandon brings up a good point.

[John]

Sounds.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like you're Talking about the 40 year old virgin when they go into Steve Carell's.

[John]

Exactly. It was, it was a. It was a laugh line in there. And he had to go sell it all at ebay to get laid. Remember?

[Brett Vesely]

What do you live in Neverland Ranch?

[John]

Right. It's that. It's. It's. Yuck. Yeah. See, this guy's just bored. Brady hands me another one. Guinness gave a guy he folded 250 functional paper airplanes in an hour. At least it's only an hour of his day. And it's a bit of a skill. And then you just throw it all out. It's not like his house is a tribute to the world, Speed. Yeah. If it's like, I've got more paper airplanes in my whole home than anyone in the world, I'm like, I would assume that number is, like, six. Who's collecting paper airplanes?

[Brett Vesely]

Xavier wants to know how much gay Steelers crap do you have?

[John]

All right. Steelers are different. It's a live sporting event, and I built a whole room in the back, and it's a bar, and we get drunk. If he had a bar dedicated to Stranger Things and they reenacted it. What's worse? Going and watching the Steelers play in a sports bar. They don't have, like, a Stranger Things bar, people. They have sports bars all over the place. One is okay. And I do have a lot of Steelers memorabilia. One is okay. Adds value to the home. People aren't going to come to my house and go, wow, this guy's. It's. It's. He's never going to have sex with anything in his life. Chicks actually dig the bar. This is Homeburg's morning sickness. [e-mail] Holmberg's morning sickness. They would not.

[Brady]

Let's happen to the Breaking Bad house.

[John]

Exactly. They would not. That's different. That's actually a part of the show.

[Brady]

I know, but it started out at 4 mil.

[John]

Right? But if you went into my home and said, cool sports bar, but I'm like, yeah, it's Stranger Things themed. Oh, not a sports bar. It's Vecnaar's Den. You'd be like, I gotta go. So you can sit and try your comps out there, jackass. But one is an awesome thing. One is clearly a crazy person's thing.

[Brady]

Well, there's. I don't know.

[John]

No. 1 is an awesome thing. One is a crazy person.

[Brady]

Say, there's more Steeler collections.

[John]

Let me tell you this. There is zero argument to this. You'd sit there and act like. That's like. Well, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as much validity as like. Okay, calm down.

[Brady]

That's my point. There are way more Steeler.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Living rooms.

[John]

Because it's.

[Brady]

Than there are stranger things viable.

[John]

I'm not saying all this is where nobody knows how to have discussions anymore. I'm not saying all collectibles are stupid. I'm saying the stupid ones are obvious. And when I. If I told Brett, I'm like, come over to my house. You're gonna love my Stranger Things den. You come over and look at it so I could laugh at it. Exactly. You wouldn't get. If I say, hey, I built a sports bar into my house for watching football and hanging out with the guys and doing a thing, you'd be like, oh, that's kind of cool. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has a Stranger things bar that 25 people show up for every Sunday to watch Stranger Things. And by the way, it's over. If the NFL just ended and I kept this alive and still tried to watch TV with my friends on Sundays in there, it would be gay.

[Brett Vesely]

Dave says, I have 9,000 Hot Wheels, but only 50 are on display. The rest are stored away.

[John]

That's fine, right?

[Brett Vesely]

That's fine.

[John]

Because a lot of them have no value, right? And even 50 hot wheels displayed as a girl, red flag. You have to do that after you're married when sex doesn't matter anymore. You're like, he didn't say if he was single or not. Check.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm sure he's probably not.

[John]

You're not rolling out the 50 Hot Wheels and having any girl come to your house with any sort of value. A high value target.

[Brett Vesely]

Eileen Goo's not gonna be coming to your house anytime soon.

[John]

Eileen Goo's not gonna.

[Eileen]

I've got gold medals and silver medals. What do you have?

[John]

I'm a Hot Wheel guy. I got 50 of them on display and I built the shelf for them.

[Brady]

Hit lottery. She collects them, too.

[Eileen]

Are they still in the packages?

[John]

Of course they're still in the packages, you dumb bitch. What am I gonna think, I'm crazy good? 2300 of them in the garage, taking up space.

[Eileen]

Well, at least you're smart enough not to display them all.

[John]

Yeah, I had a wall for a while, but I realized that it was the salt. Peter, my dick would never get hard again. So it is a red flag. So you can't comp sports stuff to a Stranger Things death kill den. You just can't. It's weird. And I'm telling you, Joe, you might be a great guy, but you went on the news last night and told every woman in the city of Phoenix, not interested. I'll take the craziest one out there if you want to come by. It's like, oh, boy, Interested for a feature story? And then he had to, like, people had to know, hey, this lunatic over here's got more. And again, the number is crazy high. You shouldn't have done that.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're basically saying he's like Patrick Bateman from American History X.

[John]

No, that's from American Psycho. Yeah. Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. American Psycho.

[John]

His knowledge of Huey Lewis was. That's a red flag. Red flags. I even go back to what, you know, broads loved that, 50 shades of gray. But I'll tell you right now, on any date, you take a girl over to you, he had a billion dollars, so he was allowed to do what he wanted. He could be. That's called you're eccentric. When you have a billion dollars and you have a Stranger Things room, oh, my God.

[Eileen]

He's a collector. He's eccentric.

[John]

But also, if you had a billion dollars, you'd just have the girl that played 11 in your house all the time on display. So it's different than just action figures. Yeah, it's weird. But you go into that 50 shades of gray house, even a billion dollars, and he's like, want to see the spare room, sir?

[Eileen]

Your house is beautiful.

[John]

And he opens up that dungeon. That's how you know. You know. Again, you show a woman a picture of a man in a suit who's incredibly handsome and show that same man in a Burger King outfit, she's gonna be like, man in a suit's better. I want him. You show a man, an Eileen Goofy in a dress and Eileen Goo in a Burger King outfit, we'd be like, they're both hot. They place value on what they see as success. They perceive success beyond looks. So if you're a billionaire and you got a sex Dungeon, the $900 million that was made by the 50 Shades series kind of let you know they'll tolerate an awful lot if you've got money.

[Brett Vesely]

Jeffrey Epstein.

[John]

Ask them all. Ask Robert Kraft's girlfriend is 38 years younger than him and he's 88. Or something like that. Like, she doesn't want to have sex with all the 88 year olds. That's not her wheelhouse. But one with all that money she can tolerate.

[Brady]

One will qualify.

[John]

Yeah, there are qualifiers. But if Robert Kraft was 88 and worked at Burger King, she is not in love with him like a Belichick.

[Brett Vesely]

Same thing.

[John]

I. And I have no problem with that. Ladies. You think I'm complaining?

[Eileen]

I'm not.

[John]

You should. If I had that power, that's what I would do. For sure. If you're my. I would admit out loud, my vagina is currency. It is what I lead with, and it is. It is my value. And I do other stuff, too, but it's going to get me. You know, it's going to. It's going to buy me a better life.

[Brady]

Stranger Things collection.

[John]

Stranger Things guy is not going to get in there. Yeah, it used to be virtuous. Now it's like, all right, this thing is my. It's a credit card. And you're wise to use it as such. No problem with that. But man has its benefits. If you take that thing in, you're like, look, you got a billion dollars. You get a Stranger Things room in a sex dungeon, but you've got a billion dollars. Like I said, we're. We're good here. Go over to Brett's house. You go to Stranger Things collection and a sex dungeon. He's a rapist. It's the same thing. It goes back to my awesome idea for a show. I shouldn't pitch it. I'm giving this out for free. But you tell a gorgeous woman that we're gonna make you run 10 errands for us today. And somebody you run into today is a billionaire looking for love. One of the people you run into today, and you won't know who, and we'll dress up a billionaire, like undercover boss, and we'll have him be, like, a busboy or a bus driver or a worker, a discount tire or whatever. And watch her behavior when she thinks to herself, someone I meet today on one of these errands is a billionaire.

[Brady]

She'Ll treat every one of them.

[John]

It's gonna be so different on how she would treat everybody than if you told them, all right, nobody is. She's so sweet to the kid behind discount tire. She's gonna be extra, and I would, too.

[Eileen]

Not everybody's in it for money.

[John]

Well, yes, they are. Why do you go to work? It's crazy. But stranger things guy, you need a. You need a buddy like me to go, cool. Great collection. Now let's clean this room up. What are you doing? I want to put it on display for my friends. Your friends are worse than you because they're not. They think this is cool, too. And then we'd sit down, we watch 40 Year Old Virgin, like, that's you. Well, it's a cool room. Exactly. It's Rick from Geico trying to tell the people not to turn into their parents. You need the one friend that goes through and goes, we got to help these guys out. You got it. You can Matchbox car guy. You get the valuable ones. You can put those up Brady and your beer cans. Ronnie did the right thing, and he messaged.

[Brett Vesely]

He's 63 and his wife buys them for him. So he's, you know, he's.

[John]

He's good.

[Brett Vesely]

He's not out looking for poo.

[John]

Dead for years. He's been dead for years. Yeah. He's got a thing for Matchbox cars, which is cool.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

And the wife's like, if I keep him in Matchbox cars, he leaves me alone. I don't want this guy rolling around on me. This one says, same thing happened to me about 11 years ago ago. I got a studio apartment. Walked in, and the whole room was wwe. The hallway, the kitchen had towels, potholders. That was a chick.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's. I was like, what kind of hillbillies.

[John]

Are you after you walked into a WWE dedicated broad's house.

[Brady]

What kind of hillbillies you after?

[John]

She's got. Yeah, he's right. He can say it to him because that's a language he speaks. Robert, he's right.

[Eileen]

I got me a studio apartment. All my towels have Arn Anderson on them.

[John]

Why is Doug Hopkins pictures all over this house?

[Eileen]

That's Arn Anderson, you son bitch.

[John]

Why is there a bed in the middle of the room?

[Eileen]

It's a studio.

[John]

Are these rock sheets? Yes. Do you have hot rod pajamas? You're. What is this place?

[Brady]

Iron sheet dining chairs.

[John]

Yeah. Now, a dude would tolerate it. You go to a girl's house, and if she's hot enough and she opens up a door and it's just nothing but stranger things memorabilia. You think she's nuts, you're still gonna put it through her. But you're not. She's cute. She has to be so hot. And hot girls aren't gonna collect stranger things stuff. And then you just look at them in that wild eye look.

[Brett Vesely]

Hot girls aren't collecting no WWE stuff either.

[John]

No. I'm guaranteeing the WWE girl in the studio apartment.

[Brett Vesely]

That must have been the 2am brought at the bar.

[John]

She wasn't getting stopped at a lot of places going. Are you a model?

[Brady]

There's just one room for Jericho.

[Eileen]

I read in an article once in Vanity Fair that Jericho digs chicks with small places. So I got this dump.

[John]

She's got a studio apartment, but she's probably got 20 or $30,000 worth of WWE stuff.

[Eileen]

I just stopped focusing on my finances. Buy me things I enjoy.

[Brady]

License plate, I believe.

[John]

Did you just wave your hand in front of your cooch and say, you can't see me? I'm leaving? Don't do that.

[Eileen]

Oh, man, you really. You really shot off that turnbuckle and gave me a. No, no, no suplex me.

[John]

Okay, we're not having sex. You're weird. Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? I may be cooking rocks in the.

[Eileen]

Kitchen, but that's beside the point.

[John]

Oh, my God.

[Eileen]

All right, jabroni, stick it in.

[John]

Here we go.

[Brady]

Every day, dear Hornswoggle, Hornswoggles.

[John]

Under the bed. You get to put your shoes on. You see the little guy under the bed, like, ah, that's Horn Swaggle. Is it real?

[Eileen]

No, it's just. It's a little. It's a mannequin. I painted up his hornswoggle.

[John]

Jesus Christ, lady. What raised you? How big were your uncle's fingers that made your brain go so crazy? How'd you know about my uncle? He was a wrestling fan, wasn't he? Yeah, he fingered. He fingered the crazy into you.

[Eileen]

Ah, you always guessing, right.

[John]

He fingered the crazy into you is a pretty great phrase. You should use it around the house.

[Brett Vesely]

Good album title.

[John]

It is a good album title. Yeah. Iron Maidens. He fingered the crazy into you is one of my favorite. Like, they released it in Japan. Spiral is the word for the sweet that feeds. Sorry, I didn't mean to do it by name, but you went on the news last night, kid. So let's calm her down over there with your 2300. You had the record at, like, 8. Nobody has more than 8. Stranger Things Things. And even if you had 9 or 10 on a shelf, I'd be like, that's a lot. That's. Nice job. 2300 is overkill. Spiral is the word that you want to put in there for the app this morning. 98kupd.com and we'll get you in the suite that feeds. Throw Spiral out there and make that a thing. In the meantime, let's get a wake up song, shall we? Maybe something for Jacob. Six or a five. Eight five. 9800. That's the number. You tell us what you want to hear, we play it next. That's your wake up song. It's 98 KUPD.

[Brady]

Wake up.

[John]

It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.