02-11-25 - BR - TUE - Making Amends Emailer Reactions/Comments - The Blanket Octopus Spawns Octo Tracy Morgan - Heart Shaped Searches For VDay By State - Brady Confuses Himself w/Self Healing Asphalt Story

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Release Date: February 11, 2025

Hosted by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

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1. Introduction and Initial Banter (00:00 - 01:21)

The episode opens with Dick Toledo promoting a FanDuel bonus offer. Shortly after, Brett and Ladonna Harvey engage in light-hearted banter about drinking at work, setting a casual and humorous tone for the morning show. They discuss enjoying local branded beers from Four Peaks, highlighting their support for the Humane Society.

Notable Quote:

• Brett (00:40): "Brett and I have cracked open a couple Bruskies because we're drinking at work. Salute."

2. Controversial Email Discussion (01:21 - 07:38)

A significant portion of the episode centers around a contentious email received from a listener named John Holmberg. Holmberg's email expresses dissatisfaction with the increasing diversity in Gilbert, Arizona, labeling the area as "mostly white" and expressing discomfort with its changing demographics. Brett and Dick Toledo critique Holmberg's stance, highlighting its racist undertones and mocking his inability to handle diversity.

Notable Quotes:

• Brett (02:19): "He moved to Gilbert because it was 'safe and mostly white.' Now he's upset because it's become a 'crime covered mess.'"
• Dick Toledo (01:27): "It's not as lengthy or as bad as I remember."

3. Amends and Alcoholics Anonymous (04:00 - 05:50)

The hosts delve into a discussion about the Amends steps in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), debating their effectiveness. Brett expresses skepticism about AA's success rates, citing statistics like a "5% success rate" and high recidivism. He critiques the program's approach to accountability, suggesting that it may not adequately address underlying issues of addiction.

Notable Quotes:

• Brett (04:17): "I am a realist. And I've seen the numbers on AA. 5% success rate. Recidivism is 94."
• Dick Toledo (04:22): "That's what I think the expectation is. People think that they do the steps and that absolves them of everything."

4. Brady Report and Miscellaneous News (07:38 - 21:25)

Brady Bogen introduces the "Brady Report," a segment dedicated to quirky and humorous news items. Topics range from Valentine's Day celebrations across different states with heart-shaped products to bizarre accidents and viral videos. The hosts provide comedic commentary on each story, maintaining an entertaining and irreverent atmosphere.

Highlighted Topics:

• Valentine’s Day Trends: Discussion on heart-shaped candies in New York, bagels in North Carolina, waffles in Idaho, and inflatable pools in Montana.

  Notable Quote:

  • Brady (09:25): "The female blanket octopus is over 70 times larger than the male. She's 6ft, he's less than an inch."

• Self-Healing Asphalt: An exploration of new asphalt technology that reportedly repairs cracks autonomously using microcapsules and recycled oils. The hosts humorously question the science behind it.

  Notable Quote:

  • Brett (18:41): "How does the asphalt heal itself?"

• Accidents and Viral Videos: Descriptions of various accidents, including a man being hit by a sign during a police chase and humorous takes on online video mishaps.

  Notable Quote:

  • Brett (25:52): "She's feeding the baby bird, nourishing herself. It's like the mom bird just puking in her own mouth and swallowing it."

5. Closing Remarks and Final Segments (21:25 - End)

As the show nears its end, the hosts continue to share and comment on amusing video clips, often involving physical comedy and unexpected accidents. They wrap up the episode by promoting local businesses and encouraging listeners to engage with the show for more entertaining content.

Notable Quote:

• Brett (27:48): "But they're over at Four Peaks, and the Humane Society can benefit from that."

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Insights and Conclusions

Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a blend of humor, satire, and critical commentary on social issues. The episode effectively balances light-hearted banter with serious discussions, particularly regarding community diversity and the efficacy of support programs like AA. The hosts use humor to engage listeners while addressing contentious topics, fostering a dynamic and entertaining morning show experience.

Listeners unfamiliar with the episode can expect a mix of comedic storytelling, sharp social critiques, and lively interactions among the hosts. The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps provides authenticity and highlights the show's candid and unfiltered nature.

Overall, this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers an engaging start to the day, combining humor with thoughtful discussions on relevant societal topics.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett]

Brett and I have cracked open a couple Bruskies because we're drinking at work. Salute. In honor of that drunk who probably did the same thing. Only we can do it out loud. He had to go hide in the bathroom.

[Dick Toledo]

You'll like this one. I am loving this Gilbert White version of Kendrick and Drake this morning.

[Brett]

It is only at least Drake has hits, right? This shit probably only hits his wife. Thank you. Thank you. We'll be here. All we get, we hit the bottle. That's for sure. We got bottles of Homeburg Bound.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Yes.

[Brett]

Brett and I have cracked open this morning because we're responsible adults who can handle our drink. And it's available at Four Peaks for all you other responsible adults right now. And it helps out the beautiful people at the Humane Society. So not only are we able to drink and have fun, we're able to do it for charity.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Got it on tap at her bar too.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, you guys have it. Legends in Mesa. Local legends.

[Dick Toledo]

I like this one. Hey, it's good to see that Gary's wife landed in a soft spot and found somebody new.

[Brett]

Kyle says, I went back already and listened to that email from January. We did too. Yeah, Toledo found it. It's not as lengthy or as bad as I remember.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, it's like two minutes. You read an email.

[Brett]

He said, you're right, he did it anonymously then too. But man, if you listen to it, he's even more racist than we are giving him credit. Yeah, it stems from the statement that he makes about not caring if Gilbert is diverse. He said he moved to Gilbert because it was quote, safe read as mostly white.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brett]

Now he's upset because it's become a quote, crime covered mess. Just like the area you probably live in. Talking to you, John Read as too many people that don't need sunscreen. I'm surprised this drunken douche didn't Try to lead a pitchfork wielding witch hunt throughout downtown Gilbert. Looking for P's poc People of color.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

No, no question.

[Ladonna Harvey]

I can find Gilbert.

[Brett]

Jake says John, I'm joining the morning a little late. I had no idea who you're talking about, but I already hate him. Oh, let's reset then I'll talk about this some more.

[Dick Toledo]

Like a texter said, can we do this at the top of every hour?

[Brett]

We need everybody who joins in to, you know. Top of the hour will reset the news. Today's top stories list.

[Dick Toledo]

Kara, again. We'll go down the whole list of all.

[Tracy Morgan]

Everybody.

[Brett]

We'll bring in Ladonna.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

I'm Ladonna Harvey and here's today's headlines. You're drunk, asshole. Step away from the computer before you hurt someone. And off KTAR news. Jim, it's time for your vagina to say things.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Thanks, ladonna.

[Brett]

This guy said I had to make the same nine step amendments. Never blamed the drugs or alcohol though. Took ownership of everything. Even the horrible email I sent to the number one rated radio show in Arizona. But luckily at the time, Beth McDonald was a lot more forgiving than you have been, Sean. That's right. Sometimes. Oh, now people are sending me pictures. Is this your racist listener? I got to see this one. Hang on. My emails have been holding. It's Otis from substance.

[Dick Toledo]

Guys are in. You know, this is only the fourth step from aa. He's not going to make it through the next six.

[Brett]

And here's the thing, people from aa, you can tell me this. And look, I'm a big proponent of you trying to get better, but I also am a realist. And I've seen the numbers on AA. 5% success rate. Recidivism is 94. There's like a 1% group. Don't make it your length. Look, whatever some people get out of it, addiction, that's how bad it is, is that 5% success rate. And it's a thriving business that nobody else has that. So it is one of those things. But I also understand that you, you, it's. You can't be bitter when you go through the 12 steps and you don't get your way.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

You know what I mean.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what I think the expectation is. People think that they do the steps and that absolves them of everything.

[Brett]

Right? I'm supposed to go in there and tell somebody I treated you like garbage and it's your job now to be forgiving to me because I had a problem and it's like well, you caused problems in my. Your problem that you're blaming. And that's one thing somebody said. You never. Like Sean even said it. You don't ever blame the alcohol. You email, you do whatever you're supposed to, do it face to face, as far as I understand. But you say, I'm sorry, I was going through some stuff. I'm trying to make amends with people I feel I've wronged, and I apologize to you. You never say, I was drunk, the alcohol made me, blah, blah, blah. It's never the alcohol's fault. You still take responsibility for your actions as a human being.

[Brady]

But that 5% success rate is a little deceiving because it is a program that's done. It's just like dieting. That will work. It's up to the individual.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Right.

[Dick Toledo]

But continue it again, if there's the.

[Brady]

Addiction part of it, if it's a.

[Dick Toledo]

Disease and addiction, you need to be off of it.

[Brett]

And that's very true. The program doesn't make you. You know, not just because you go through it, but you. Yeah. There is a very low success rate with it. And, you know, not to sound like a complete jerk, there's a whole bunch of people running those things that are taking advantage of the addiction.

[Dick Toledo]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

And making sure that it's like, do your thing.

[Brady]

That got busted just before our break. That the guy was counseling and selling.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that and then the whole halfway house controversy in this state, too.

[Brett]

You don't. You don't get. He's not allowed to do this during the weather, but Ian Schwartz just texted and said it's a Jew here checking in at the top of the hour. That guy. Yeah. Go back and listen to our podcast. I will reset it again if you're interested.

[Dick Toledo]

Again, January 23, 2024. That whole morning is us responding.

[Brett]

We'll put it back up there for today.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it's up there.

[Brett]

Oh, you already did it.

[Dick Toledo]

It's up there.

[Brett]

That's his initial contact with me last year during the Gilbert Go.

[Dick Toledo]

Following the whole. Like, the week before was when all of that news came out where the Gilbert moms formed their Facebook group. We talked about that. And then they talked about doing the town hall, which was that weekend, remember?

[Brett]

I just remembered this just now. The. The lady that started that whole thread on Reddit and something else.

[Dick Toledo]

The Facebook attacking.

[Brett]

And Facebook is attacking me, throwing the advertisers on there, saying that I want kids to be beaten.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brett]

Like, totally making me Satan and not using one ounce of truth.

[Dick Toledo]

And by the way, Just because I.

[Brett]

Disagreed with the way they were handling the Gilbert goons thing. By being reactionary.

[Dick Toledo]

Exactly.

[Brett]

And then they had their town hall, and I said, I guarantee. I remember saying, I guarantee you they won't go on there in a ponytail, in sweats. They're going to doll it up. They're going to. The one lady that was mad at me used a ring light and had her hair done and everything. And she was shouting down this John Hollenbacher like, okay, that's great. You can't read. My name's everywhere in this. You got to make it seem like you can't say my name right, Idiot. So she put that ring light on and then started to say flamin Flame. And that's where the guy found out about me. Right?

[Dick Toledo]

Then you also pointed that out, because below that, when she posted that, there was four moms who said, you look great, girl, I couldn't believe your hair.

[Brady]

Well, that was from the town hall.

[Brett]

That was the town hall. The girl had boots that had sparkles on them. Just fierce shoes. Love those boots. And I'm like, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

[Brady]

I know, right?

[Brett]

This was what I was talking about. This is going to lose all its credibility the second they go on there and they're dolled up and looking like a Gilbert mom, which is all about perception. And she looked great, whoever that lady was. But the comments also included, great job. Love those shoes. It was all about how you're being seen, how. How people are looking at you and you are patting yourself on the back. I quote Ian schwartz of Channel 3. You going to be 66 degrees today? Chance of rain later this week. Also you. Anyway, I love it. This guy says, as a former drunk, we don't claim him. All right, thanks, Jacob. That's Appreciate that.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow, you've been awesome.

[Brett]

Even the drunks don't want you around anymore. You should probably turn to heroin. Hey, Brad, I'm almost done with my beer.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Oh, we'll just get another one.

[Brett]

I meant work.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Why not.

[Brett]

Responsibility in a bottle? I'm the one who says, drink responsibly on the. But I read that, and I take it seriously. Thanks, Waymo. Ah. Anyway, Brady, it's time for you to give us all the news that only you know on this glorious Tuesday morning. That's just a gift from God. Brady's God. It's step nine. Brian says the apology thing. I thought it was four. I think I said it was four.

[Dick Toledo]

This guy said four, too.

[Brady]

We're jumping all over the place.

[Brett]

It's like the twelve days of Christmas. Who knows?

[Dick Toledo]

Ask George Costanza. Step nine.

[Brett]

Well, that's a great episode when he gets an apology he doesn't like and he goes back and makes the drunk do it again. At the Baskin Robbins, it's James Spader. It's time for Brady to give you all the news only Brady knows. We call it the Brady Report. Brady Report.

[Brady]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.

[Brett]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Guitar Day. Oh, good couple of basis fun facts. The highest number counted to out loud was 1 million.

[Brett]

A dude counted from 0 to 1.

[Brady]

Million and then took the guy 89 days with each day averaging just over 11,200 numbers per day. So he spent 16 hours a day. The guy's name is Jeremy Harper, lives in Alabama. He did it in June 8th. Started June 8th of 2007.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Just hang yourself. Nothing better to do with your life.

[Brett]

Melissa just said please reset the morning. I haven't a clue what you're talking about. You know what we should do? What other radio shows do the 9 o'clock hour this morning. We'll just replay the first hour.

[Ladonna Harvey]

On the fives.

[Brett]

Yeah. And then Brett and I can go drink some more.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Yeah, all right.

[Brady]

Day drinking.

[Brett]

Oh, man, I wish I could. I wish I could keep you all in the loop. But you're not. You gotta join in in the morning and follow along. I hate to make you have to get up earlier just for this, but you missed quite a bit of fun.

[Brady]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? Holmberg's morning s. The female blanket octopus is over 70 times larger than the male. She's 6ft, he's less than an inch. So for mating, he basically swims in that love cavern, breaks his junk off inside of her and takes off the love grenade.

[Brett]

That's exactly how I make blanket. It is a love grenade. Nine seconds later, there's a baby in her. It's the Tracy Morgan of the sea.

[Dick Toledo]

Decent band name, Love grenade.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's a good one to put it on the list.

[Tracy Morgan]

I got eight arms and legs and I'm gonna stuff my dick in you and bust it in half and you're gonna have yourself a baby. I'm Tracy Morganpuss, here I come. You're pregnant.

[Brett]

I just inked you.

[Tracy Morgan]

I inked you. I use black ink. That's right, you heard me, Brett. I'm an octopus. Shoots black ink inside of a bitch octopus and then they get pregnant with like eight octopus.

[Brett]

Think she had eight at a time.

[Tracy Morgan]

I'll Never know.

[Brett]

I leave.

[Tracy Morgan]

I'm the ultimate black man of the sea. I busted. And I break my dick off and leave. I never see her again.

[Dick Toledo]

Tracy. You ever have to apologize for that?

[Tracy Morgan]

Sometimes. But I don't know. I ain't done it. I'm not on that step.

[Brady]

The first number one.

[Tracy Morgan]

I want to keep doing this. Brady. I like octopus. Tracy.

[Dick Toledo]

Morgan.

[Brett]

Octo.

[Dick Toledo]

Tracy.

[Tracy Morgan]

How you doing? You twice my size. Watch this. You got a dick.

[Ladonna Harvey]

And you.

[Tracy Morgan]

Goodbye.

[Dick Toledo]

Can you impregnate eight women?

[Tracy Morgan]

I can do whatever I want.

[Brett]

I don't know how many dicks an.

[Tracy Morgan]

Octopus come with, but I guess eight Octo. She octopus.

[Brett]

I'm an octo dick. Sorry.

[Brady]

The first number one single by an Asian American.

[Brett]

Gingham style. Oh, he wasn't American.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Bangs.

[Brett]

He's not American.

[Brady]

Like a G6 by the far East Movement.

[Brett]

He's an American. That's what I was gonna say.

[Brady]

Because Asian American. Yeah.

[Brett]

Gang of Style. And your guy.

[Ladonna Harvey]

William Hung.

[Brett]

William Hung weren't actually American. Well, maybe William Hung was.

[Ladonna Harvey]

That William was.

[Brett]

He was an American Idol. Maybe not.

[Ladonna Harvey]

I don't know.

[Brett]

You have. Do you have to be a citizen to be an American Idol?

[Ladonna Harvey]

I wouldn't think so.

[Brett]

I wonder.

[Brady]

And that was the first number one single by anyone of Asian descent since Caillou Sakamoto's song Sukiyaki. Hold on.

[Brett]

Any Asian? Caillou Sukumati. So he's an Asian who had a number one song. This is an American Asian.

[Brady]

This is a. Yeah.

[Ladonna Harvey]

And no, Carl Douglas was not Asian.

[Brett]

No, no.

[Tracy Morgan]

Carl Douglas looked more like me. Carl Douglas did Kung Fu fighting and stuck your dick in and break it off. You have babies with Carl Douglas.

[Brett]

Little Kung Fu baby. That joke is only for if you do that to people of a certain age. It is impossible not to. If you just walked up to a guy who's like 50, went, he's gonna go.

[Brady]

In a new poll, 39 of Americans said they plan to celebrate Valentine's day this year. 45% do not.

[Brett]

It's too hard.

[Brady]

16% aren't sure.

[Brett]

We're not sure. We don't know what to do. When is is too hard.

[Ladonna Harvey]

That's a no.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's some food related products. Valentine's Day, you got the heart shaped candy coming out of New York. Got hardshaped bagels in North Carolina.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Oh, Brady.

[Brett]

Oh, sorry, Brady. Too soon. Too soon.

[Brady]

Heart shaped waffles in Idaho.

[Brett]

Have you ever seen me happier, by the way?

[Brady]

No, I don't think so.

[Brett]

It was just a joyful moment.

[Brady]

Up there. It's up there.

[Brett]

I'm peeking.

[Brady]

Home decor. There's a heart shaped furniture popular in a few states. Michigan likes heart shaped candles. Virginia's, they're googling for harp shaped tubs.

[Brett]

Oh, bathtub.

[Brady]

Yeah, like a bathtub.

[Brett]

Like backyard tubs.

[Brady]

Montana is looking for heart shaped inflatable pools.

[Brett]

Montana does?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Toledo.

[Brett]

I'm in.

[Dick Toledo]

I didn't look for it. We got our own inflatable hot tub.

[Brett]

If you're from Montana and you want to get in a heart shape inflatable pool with me, I'm gonna have a hard time walking away from that.

[Dick Toledo]

Of course you are.

[Brett]

I want to know what happens. I want to know a who's blown.

[Dick Toledo]

Down that pool, so to speak.

[Brett]

Is it pre blown up? Are we in Montana? Because it's probably cold. And what's next? Because I assume if you've got an inflatable heart shaped pool, I'm not gonna have to do a whole lot of work to bang you. This is gonna be easy.

[Brady]

I'm gonna bring it inside.

[Brett]

Yeah, you're romantic. I just. The thing about an inflatable heart shaped pool, just fill it with like slippery KY or something. You don't put water in there? No, just make it like a wrestling rink.

[Brady]

We had that, but it wasn't heart shaped.

[Brett]

Who did?

[Brady]

We had that wrestling match with the pool through. What were you talking about when we as a station did?

[Brett]

Oh, I thought you and Ronnie had a Valentine's Day celebration.

[Brady]

That's what I was. That was a different one.

[Brett]

You and bagel girl? Yeah, an inflatable bagel he got in the middle of.

[Brady]

And police in Wisconsin arrested a 22 year old woman named Kaylee Bradner after she stabbed her boyfriend in the neck during an argument about their wedding venue. The boyfriend claims Kaylee was the aggressor and she got out of control when the conversation got heated. He was trying to leave out the back door when he felt the pain in his neck. Kaylee claims it was self defense. Says she picked up the knife because she was scared. She said the stabbing happened when he put her. She put her hands up and then he started coming towards her. No indication that the boyfriend's injury was life threatening, but sounds like the police have to decipher which story is accurate.

[Brett]

I'm gonna do my impression of that Gilbert guy. Right. Ready? Shh. Me throwing an empty in the trash, my next impression will be opening a bottle. But I'm already too late for the impression to be good. He'd have done it already.

[Brady]

We Had a road rage incident happen in Kitsap County, Washington.

[Dick Toledo]

Nice. Nice job.

[Brady]

This guy was in a dodge truck, began following this lady. Somehow she either cut him off, but he didn't fire a gun. He lit up a roman candle and started firing that at her.

[Ladonna Harvey]

That's impressive.

[Brett]

To have any sort of accuracy with that is kind of impressive.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Well, it's multiple shots, so I mean it's like, you know, hey, had a few loaded up. Think about that.

[Brett]

Brett has not thought of killing a man that way. That's a new one. Put it on the list.

[Dick Toledo]

It's a light bulb moment for Brett.

[Brett]

Yeah, maybe she goes home and spins a wheel.

[Brady]

Great idea.

[Brett]

Yeah. Roman candle death today. This will be fun.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Impressive.

[Brady]

Researchers have developed a self healing asphalt that repairs cracks and potholes from happening. So when the cracks start to happen on the asphalt.

[Ladonna Harvey]

We've been drinking not enough.

[Brady]

It basically self healing. It's designed with similarity, like biological.

[Brett]

Like with venom. Like the character of venom. Seems to be something that would. I want you to explain this to me. How does the asphalt heal itself?

[Brady]

They develop the self healing asphalt by combining materials science with advanced modeling techniques. The key innovation close. Is a blend of natural spore microcapsules and waste based rejuvenators.

[Brett]

Is it alive, Brady?

[Brady]

Kind of.

[Brett]

I heard about that rejuvenation the road has loved.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm sticking to it.

[Brett]

Yeah, maybe it is. God damn right. The road has feelings.

[Brady]

In laboratory experiments, researchers demonstrated that this new asphalt material could heal a micro crack in less than an hour.

[Brett]

I don't like that they're using the word heal. Repair like flex seal never says they heal the.

[Brady]

So the mixture incorporates tiny plant spores filled with recycled oils.

[Brett]

That's kind of alive.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So the road will grow until it. How does it know when to stop itself heals. Yeah, but how does it know when to stop?

[Brady]

They're figuring that out.

[Brett]

Eventually. What you've just said is the blob is real. Yes, eventually crack the blob and it.

[Brady]

Healed itself in an hour.

[Brett]

But that's the thing. It's like if the road crack heals. It doesn't. It's not DNA. It doesn't know when to stop.

[Brady]

They're figuring it out to seal together.

[Brett]

No, no, no. If you're saying that it's. That it's a growth organism of plant and oil. How does it know when the cracks. When the job's all done.

[Brady]

That's like when they're bonded together, when they lock hands together.

[Brett]

The microcaps, the living micro capsules. Right. So they do plants, so they have an arrangement and cognitive thought.

[Brady]

They said that the.

[Brett]

Oh my God, he's drunker than we are. I need another beer. Brady, did you email me last night?

[Brady]

The researchers used a machine learning algorithms to analyze organic molecules.

[Brett]

But no one had. The question that I simply have is how does it know when it's done? Or have we created road blob?

[Brady]

The scientist says it just knows.

[Brett]

It doesn't have an answer. It's enough. It just knows. It knows when. It knows when it's enough is enough. Unlike the guy in Gilbert. It knows when to stop. It knows when to call it quits. I don't think that's gonna work, man.

[Ladonna Harvey]

I'm empty.

[Brady]

It's gonna be exciting.

[Brett]

Me too. Bert, go get a couple more. All right. We're celebrating. Brady. I knew this story was bunko when you called it materials of science.

[Dick Toledo]

Materials.

[Brady]

Scientists use the science material.

[Brett]

The materials of science, of course, would be used. They get that at Joanne, do they?

[Dick Toledo]

Is that one of the aisles in the back?

[Brett]

You get some of your print patterns, your paisleys, and your materials of science And a lab at Joanne. This one grows road. Well, if that's real, why don't we pave roads? Just put that stuff out there and say.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, we're getting.

[Brett]

They're trying to just have the road grow on it. Yeah.

[Brady]

So it won't crack.

[Brett]

Oh, no, no, that's not why. You'd have to still pave out where you want to pour the asp.

[Brady]

You lay it down and that over the time, you know, over a year or two, it starts to crack. Seals it back up.

[Brett]

If the road, they lock hands. Okay, let me ask you this then.

[Brady]

Here we go.

[Dick Toledo]

Here we go.

[Brett]

Bill Nye question. Question for me. You're saying that it heals its own cracks?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Why does it crack?

[Brady]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

How do you.

[Brady]

Sometimes it's just like your skin, it gets dry and you gotta put lotion on it.

[Brett]

Okay. You gotta lube the rose up every.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Once in a while.

[Brady]

It's self lubing.

[Brett]

So then it would never crack.

[Brady]

No, it has to. It eventually the areas will dry out. You said it's so crack and then up. We need lube over here, aisle four.

[Brett]

This is your materials of science.

[Dick Toledo]

John is Eddie Murphy in a fat suit on some video showing this to Brady.

[Brett]

Professor Clump is helping him out. Oh, no, that was. Was that flubber? Did he do flubber too?

[Dick Toledo]

No, that was Robin Williams.

[Brett]

No, that's lover. Originally it was the dad for my three sons.

[Brady]

The Texas based chip company called Save this Life went under and apparently didn't tell anyone. So if your dog has a one of the chips microchip, it won't be linked to anything anymore. So there's a case that some of the chips that you have. So you need to check them out. The American Animal Hospital association keeps a central database of all the chip numbers. But pets registered through Save this Life aren't there anymore.

[Brett]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

Good news is your microchip is still good.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You just have to re register it through another company. And a few do it for free. Others charge around 20 bucks.

[Brett]

Any chance you get as a dog lover else throw this. This is a the more you know moment a PSA Go. If you go to the vet for a checkup or do anything for your dog and you have a chip, have the vet scan for it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because it moves sometimes in their body. It starts to move. You can't find it. And sometimes the information disappears or you need to. You got to update it. Yeah. But sometimes it just is like it's in there but it's not telling us anything. The point of the chip is to make sure that you're still in there. So every year or so make sure that you blip them.

[Brady]

Scan the chip. If you. And sometimes you can write down the number too and you can check it [e-mail].

[Brett]

Okay, that's good stuff.

[Brady]

But all the bad chips start with one of these two numbers either991.

[Brett]

But you can't see the chip. So you don't know unless you have the paperwork.

[Brady]

Yes. Of the registration.

[Brett]

By the way, if you have all that and you know where it is, I. More power to you. I. I don't know how anybody's that organized. I find stuff from dogs that have been passed in my life for 15 years. I still have files on Chili and she's been gone for a while.

[Brady]

I got a couple quick videos.

[Brett]

All right.

[Brady]

First one's on a swing set. Playground kids swing set. No, it's adult adults.

[Brett]

On a swing set.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

On a kid's swing set.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Those are tight. Have you sat in a swing ever as an adult?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh my God.

[Brady]

It's not working.

[Brett]

Oh, it hurts. It just grabs your hips. Yeah.

[Brady]

If they have those old. Cool. The old school. Just the strap.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Seat.

[Brett]

Those still get.

[Brady]

Those still are tight to get the.

[Brett]

Ones where your legs go in the thing.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, don't do that.

[Brett]

I've done that.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Remember that?

[Brett]

It's been a minute, barely, but I was sitting on the back of it. I think I got into the knees, and I was like, that's as far as I can go. Start to push.

[Brady]

This is kind of the one because it's strapped up. You put the thing in the.

[Brett]

Oh, this goes around. There's like, a bb. Oh, this is a big plastic one, too. Oh. Oh, it broke. It completely gave way. Is that a woman? Yes. Oh, she got scorpioned. And then her face hit the earth.

[Brady]

Scorpion. A face scrape.

[Brett]

Oh, man. And her friends just laughing.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Brett]

Oh, she's never gonna date again.

[Dick Toledo]

Not with a face like that.

[Brett]

She's phantom of the playground.

[Brady]

Next one's fun with fire. I think they put a little. They cut a sobi bomb. That's what it says up there.

[Brett]

What's that?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

This is a Glamis. So be like this happens all the time at Glamis.

[Brett]

They just had a. It's a nice little pitchfork. It looks like. Whoa. It looked like Kylo Ren's lightsaber, but it just blew up. There's a dude sitting right next to me.

[Tracy Morgan]

You know what, though?

[Brett]

Credit to him. Stop. Dropped and rolled right in the.

[Ladonna Harvey]

To Dick Van Dyke back in the day.

[Brady]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brett]

I remember.

[Dick Toledo]

That's exactly what I was thinking.

[Brett]

You have to get lower than the fire. If you don't get lower than the fire, you'll breathe in all that smoke.

[Dick Toledo]

Sitting in a nylon camping chair, watch that chair go up.

[Brett]

Wow. That explosion. That's a big fire. And then it just blows up. I don't know. You imagine the heat, so be the drink.

[Brady]

I don't know. It said.

[Dick Toledo]

They just. That just means that Sobey bottle filled it with gas and put it in fire.

[Brett]

So it was just sponsored by Sophie.

[Brady]

Yes. It's the perfect size. Bottle is.

[Dick Toledo]

So be even still around.

[Brett]

I don't know. That's all I know. Yeah. I only know that as the drink. All right, Bert.

[Ladonna Harvey]

All right. Come on. There we go.

[Brett]

That, by the way, that Holmberg Bound is fantastic. Anytime we should have another one. I'm. I'm not against it.

[Ladonna Harvey]

All right.

[Brett]

But they're over at Four Peaks, and the Humane Society can benefit from that. And again, on the heels of that, getting your chip checked out. Humane Society probably does. I don't know if they do it for free or not. I would assume they might, but you bring them in. Just go. Can I get my chip checked? I think you do it at any vet. And here's the thing. I Do go to a vet you don't normally go to and lie and say, I just found this dog. Can you see if the chip's good? And they'll give you the information like, oh, I know that guy. And then just leave. It's you. So just don't tell him it's you.

[Brady]

That guy owes me money.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, it's my neighbor. Okay, good.

[Ladonna Harvey]

All right, we'll start off with this little police chase.

[Brett]

This guy's filming out of his side view mirror.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Have we seen this one?

[Brett]

He's passing. He's passing a cop. There's a guy on a horse riding by a bunch of police officers. Oh. And he hits it. He gets clotheslined by a sign.

[Brady]

Mile marker.

[Tracy Morgan]

Oh, the mile marker took him right off.

[Brett]

Or the horse did that. The horse stopped him. And he's riding along, and the cops are kind of escorting this horse rider. And he hits the. Yeah, he hits the. The sign that says, what. What road you're on? Which look like Texas 79. Wow.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Go with this one.

[Brett]

Asian guy sitting there on a patio on his own. A van shoots into the business right next to him, and he talk about delivery service. Doesn't seem to mind that that happened. He gets up, puts a smoke out. Because all Asians have to be smoking.

[Dick Toledo]

Put it out.

[Brett]

Oh, he just tapped. He tapped the. He walks over to the van that's crashed into the business. He was sitting next to.

[Ladonna Harvey]

How much there's.

[Brett]

And that's it.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, okay. I thought.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Sorry, that was a. Doug thought it.

[Brett]

Was a different video.

[Dick Toledo]

He's wearing dunks.

[Brett]

Oh, I thought. I thought the Yakuza was. Well, those are knockouts.

[Brady]

Came through the window.

[Dick Toledo]

He made him. That's where my point was.

[Brett]

Maybe.

[Ladonna Harvey]

All right, here's a little motorcycle action.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Ladonna Harvey]

He made an ambulance. After this, it's night time.

[Brett]

We've got a spotlight on the motorcyclist. I'm trying to outrun somebody. They're racing. There's three more. Oh, here comes the ambulance.

[Ladonna Harvey]

He got his ambulance.

[Brett]

The ambulance coming the other way. Lights on. And he goes under the ambulance into oncoming traffic. Traffic. That's the best thing to get hit by at 18 miles an hour.

[Brady]

Oh, guys, we got another passenger.

[Brett]

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Yeah. Don't. Yeah. Throw your bike away immediately. Don't do that on your bike. No, you don't do that.

[Ladonna Harvey]

No, I don't do that.

[Brett]

Stupid.

[Ladonna Harvey]

All right, this one's for Brady.

[Brett]

The lady sitting on a toilet, she's nude. Well, there's a man's Head in the toilet. I just saw that. There's another lady standing behind it. There's a woman gassing out. He's got. She's got his head. She's farting on top of. Oh, now we're in the bedroom, and he's got his farting right onto his face.

[Brady]

She is focused.

[Brett]

She's eating at Porkopolis. Oh, now. Now it's into his mouth. Right into his open mouth. It looks like Kurt Warner. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Jesus.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Okay, then we'll just end it and everybody's like, bougie.

[Brett]

A Gerard room. Yeah, this ain't happening. You guys stay poor and do that.

[Ladonna Harvey]

From a newcomer.

[Brett]

Hey, by the way, that's the Gilbert emailer. That's how he. He earned a bottle that day.

[Ladonna Harvey]

And this is. This was from a. A newbie sending this one in. He says Brady will say it's fake, but this is. This is what peak male performance looks like. Brady.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Oh, no. Whoa, whoa. It's a guy with a butt plug in, and he's. That's a girl. Okay, I just kind of got what I'm looking at. All right.

[Brady]

She's.

[Brett]

She's. She's a transvestite.

[Dick Toledo]

Gotcha.

[Brett]

So it's a man who's trying to be a woman with great hair. By the way, I'm not into bangs too much, but that's pretty good stuff. That's that she's very pretty. The makeup is very good, and she is just about to. Oh, man. Tapping on the butt plug while stroking her own wiener onto her face in a kind of a potato bug kind of position.

[Dick Toledo]

You and your liberal use of pronouns.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, you know, I'm growing. That's right. She's feeding the baby bird, nourishing herself. It's like. That's literally like the mom bird just puking in her own mouth and swallowing it. She's folded up like a potato bug. It's a he from the waist down. It's a centaur, and it's a woman from the neck up. It's a woman from the neck up, and she's fake. She's flexible enough. Yikes. By the way, Sobey drinks used to come in glass bottles. So sobi bombs are when you fill the bottle with gas and make a tiny pinhole in the lid which explodes when you throw it in a fire. Sobey changed their bottles to plastic.

[Ladonna Harvey]

Ah.

[Brett]

Which. This is signed by someone named Redneck Annie, which. So I'm taking this as more science than what Brady threw at it.

[Brady]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

Redneck Annie, explain to me how Rhodes healed himself.

[Dick Toledo]

Tested and researched.

[Brett]

All right. Is that it, Brett?

[Ladonna Harvey]

That's it.

[Brett]

All right. Of all the times we've watched the videos, never seen a tranny finish, give herself a new one, Give themselves a money shot.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, so they all run together.

[Brett]

Society advances. One step, it's like Candyland of transvestites. There's another thing. We can move forward. We're almost finished. All right, that's enough. There goes your Brady report. It's 98. It's out of control now.