02-11-25 - Vince Neil's Jet Crashes At SDale Airpark Killing One - Horrified By New Product Wear Ever Panties That Are Washable Adult Diapers Basically

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: Vince Neil's Jet Crashes At SDale Airpark Killing One - Horrified By New Product Wear Ever Panties That Are Washable Adult Diapers Basically
Release Date: February 11, 2025

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I. Vince Neil's Plane Crash at SDale Airpark

Opening Discussion [00:39 - 05:30]

John Holmberg opens the episode by addressing a recent aviation incident that has garnered significant attention in Arizona. He highlights the crash of Vince Neil's jet at SDale Airpark, which resulted in one fatality.

• Media Sensationalism: Holmberg criticizes the media for overhyping such incidents, stating, "The news just tries to scare the hell out of you constantly" (00:39). He argues that while plane crashes are tragic, the frequency and media coverage make them appear more alarming than they might warrant.

• Personal Anecdotes: Holmberg shares a personal story about a plane crash involving the previous owner of a restaurant where he worked, emphasizing that small plane incidents are not uncommon: "I remember if it was Four Peaks or what mountain it was out there. But he died." (02:03)

• Technical Details & Public Perception: The hosts delve into the specifics of the crash, discussing the malfunction of the landing gear which led to the collision with a parked plane. Holmberg muses, "It's a lot... the plane will be to blame and it won't be pilots or anything else." (05:01)

• Impact on Vince Neil: Although Vince Neil wasn't on the flight, his association with the incident amplifies its notoriety. Brett adds, "She has five broken ribs. Her friend she was traveling with was hospitalized." (03:50), emphasizing the human cost despite Vince Neil's indirect involvement.

• Broader Aviation Concerns: The conversation shifts to broader concerns about aviation safety, referencing other crashes and expressing skepticism about flying in certain conditions, especially in areas like Nome, Alaska. Holmberg remarks, "I would never get on a plane in Alaska in Nome in February with nine other dudes. That thing looked like it was made of canvas." (06:04)

II. Satirical Take on Wear Ever W - Washable Adult Diapers

Transition to Product Mockery [11:01 - 36:23]

Shifting gears, John Holmberg introduces a discussion on a new product marketed as washable adult diapers, humorously referred to as "Wear Ever W" throughout the episode.

• Product Introduction: Holmberg describes the product as "washable panties for elderly folk," mocking the concept and its marketing. He sarcastically praises its durability: "Good for up to 200 washes." (12:20)

• Host and Co-host Banter: The hosts engage in a humorous critique of the product's practicality and design. Holmberg questions the necessity and dignity associated with such products, stating, "Disgusting. The grossest invention ever." (12:50)

• Societal Implications: The conversation delves into societal attitudes towards aging and incontinence. Holmberg laments the loss of pride and autonomy among the elderly, asserting, "They don't wanna have to piss their pants but they have to... it’s the end of relevant society for them." (14:11)

• Humorous Scenarios: The hosts create exaggerated scenarios to highlight the perceived absurdity of the product. For instance, Holmberg jokes about wearing "piss panties" in public places like restaurants: "I'll just piss here at the table at Phoenix City Grill and hope no one notices." (20:51)

• Discussion on Gender Perspectives: They touch upon the differences in how such products are perceived and utilized by different genders, with Holmberg making light-hearted jabs at both men and women’s experiences with incontinence.

• Mocking Marketing Tactics: Holmberg criticizes the product's marketing strategies, suggesting that it tries to disguise its true purpose: "You know how I know? Everybody like the lady walking in the commercial, so proud of them." (15:54).

• Conclusion on Product Viability: The hosts collectively deem the product impractical and socially stigmatizing, debating whether it's a genuine solution or merely a commercial exploit.

III. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

Wrap-Up and Final Jokes [36:23 - End]

As the episode progresses towards its conclusion, the hosts continue their light-hearted mockery of both the airline industry mishap and the adult diaper market.

• Closing Jokes: The conversation effortlessly weaves back to humor, with Holmberg recounting childhood experiences related to incontinence: "I peed my pants in first grade because I wouldn't use the bathroom." (24:19).

• Final Takeaways: While the episode primarily serves as entertainment through comedic dialogues, it subtly touches upon deeper societal issues such as media sensationalism and the stigmatization of aging-related products.

• Notable Quotes:

  • "I was sitting next to a sign that said, welcome to Juneau. And he was taking, like, your name and stuff... this is the worst place in the world. All right." (07:35)
  • "It's time to go." – Repeated emphasis on rejecting the adult diaper product as a solution. (27:24)

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Key Insights and Themes

1. Media Influence on Public Perception: The hosts critique how media coverage can amplify the perceived frequency and severity of events like plane crashes, influencing public anxiety.

2. Societal Attitudes Towards Aging and Incontinence: Through satire, the episode highlights challenges faced by the elderly, particularly regarding dignity and autonomy in managing incontinence.

3. Commercialization of Sensitive Health Products: The mockery of "Wear Ever W" underscores skepticism towards products that address sensitive health issues, questioning their practicality and societal impact.

4. Humor as Coping Mechanism: The comedic approach serves as a vehicle for discussing serious topics, making them more approachable for listeners.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness successfully blends current events with sharp-witted humor, offering listeners both entertainment and subtle commentary on societal issues. Through engaging dialogue and relatable anecdotes, the hosts navigate sensitive topics with a comedic flair, ensuring an engaging experience for the audience.

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Note: All timestamps are approximate and based on the provided transcript.

Transcript

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[John Holmberg]

Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. Off we go for a day where Arizona is back in the headlines. And for odd reasons. Vince Neil's plane crashed up against another plane. And everybody's like, you know, I think the news, this is proof. The news just tries to scare the hell out of you constantly. Now they're calling it a, the eighth aviation disaster in the last three or four weeks. And I'm like, yeah, we've had a couple of, couple of big boys. There.

[Brady]

Was all over.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to, I don't want to dismiss the fact that people were hurt and someone was killed. But this, this happens at small airports once in a while. I'm not gonna say all the time, but once in a while. This is not an aviation disaster.

[Brett]

This is a, is it a trend in commercial airlines?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that it's that different. I think we had a, you know, we're all hyper focused because the one in Washington happened and we had video of it. I think videotape is the thing that's making us feel like things are happening a whole lot more than they were before. You'd hear about a big plane crash. You'd never hear about the little ones because they didn't have cameras right away to show you the, you know, the planes that were on the, on the Runway or whatever. You know, you just heard about it. It was on the, in a newspaper. It was on the news for a.

[Brett]

Second landing on the freeway or.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Those things, they used to happen quite a bit. And it was kind of a, you know, you know, a minor incident at Deer Valley Airport where one person was hurt. I had my, the old owner of the restaurant I used to work at his Small plane crashed into. I remember if it was Four Peaks or what mountain it was out there. But he. He died. And it wasn't like this aviation disaster was a small plane incident. Planes. Planes don't stay. Not every day, but it's a lot.

[Brady]

But they got video of it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the reason why they're like, well, what do we do? Yeah, it's very strange because the landing gear didn't. It. It broke, I guess, and just kind of flopped off. And then the plane was out of control and ran into a parked plane. Which is ironic because if you've ever flown out of Scottsdale and I have, because dammit, JSX is there. And so was set Jet. Long live such a. I still have my membership. I still have my membership card. I'm just walking by there one of these days going, do I still get one flight on this? That was right after I signed up that the investors pulled. Oh. Anyway, I used to wonder while we were landing. I'm like, God, there's a lot of just. It's like landing in a parking lot of planes. They're around and they're like anything left, right, or otherwise that might go sideways, you're gonna ram into. When you land at sky harbor, you're not really landing by the planes, although they are kind of parked, waiting their turn. But not just parked and abandoned like they are at Scottsdale, because that's where you park them. Especially after the Phoenix open. The whole side of that thing, it's just a slew of parked planes. But everybody's losing their minds because also, it's Vince Neil's plane from Motley Crue and he wasn't on it, but his girlfriend was and someone passed away and I don't know who it was or what they are, but Vince Neil is now.

[Brett]

She has five broken ribs. Her friend she was traveling with was hospitalized. Some dogs were traveling with him and they survived the crash.

[John Holmberg]

That's good.

[Brett]

No word on the identity.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if it was a big deal, we'd know. I'm not that. Well, you know what I mean? If it was like a famous person, we'd already know by now. But it's. Yeah, everybody's losing their minds over it. And I got texts last night from people in Chicago. Vince Steel's plane crashed in Arizona. What do you guys know about like. Yeah, we all gathered round as Arizonans and just started. We. We know what you know. We know exactly the same things, you know?

[Brady]

Well, that's the thing. Well, I'm from Phoenix. Oh, well, so do you know my friend John Smith, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, he lives out there. Yeah, he flew in Vince Neil's plane once. But Vince Neil now part of another tragic crash. Crash. Yeah, he's done this before and it's like a crazy. Like, that's just nuts, man. That.

[Brett]

Well, the don't ride with this.

[John Holmberg]

No. He offers you a free ride. Yeah, yeah, I'll Uber.

[Brady]

I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

I got this, Vince. Thanks, but no thanks.

[Brett]

The Gulf Stream company will probably have a lawsuit on its hands.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure. You gotta sue. You can't not sue you.

[Brett]

Failure of landing gear. They're gonna figure out, you know, now.

[John Holmberg]

The plane will be to blame and it won't be pilots or anything else. Were the pilots okay?

[Brady]

They haven't said.

[John Holmberg]

They said who the person was. They would have. I would have assumed they'd have said the pilots went in, but anyway, I.

[Brett]

Saw one picture where it showed. It looked like the front two wheels, that thing was completely.

[John Holmberg]

It just dumped down. Well, that's what they mean. You can kind of see it.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Drop. So then they show the wheels are thrown to the side. I don't know. I also found it weird that the news was like, Vince Neil wasn't on board, so it's not as important as we thought. It's like, yes, yeah. It just kind of.

[Brady]

When that happened, it was just kind of like, yeah, yeah, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Found out was Vince Neil's plane. Wouldn't it be great if he was on there? It's a celebrity. You guys would lose your minds. It's like, I was. It's nobody. A bunch of nobodies on the plane. So. Rachel Maddow, I just happened to have that on yesterday, flipping through and she said it's Trump's fault. And I'm like, good lord, how in the world she did. She's like, what, what do we do now? This. Under this administration, we've had eight tragic plane crash. I'm like, come on, you know, you can't do that. But again, well, the whole thing is designed to make tribes tribal.

[Brady]

He didn't cut funding to Gulf Stream.

[John Holmberg]

It's because he said that the first one was because of dei. So they're playing the same game back. And unfortunately, it's just an incident that you. It's the risk you take flying. Now, my theory of wait for a plane to crash before you fly next time. It is getting a little tight, like, but like, it seems that used to be like, hey, you have a little plane crash in the news, you're safe to fly for at least a year. Not anymore. And that one that crashed in Alaska that they're going on. Ten people died in that. It was in Nome in February. I assume those things fall out of the sky like wounded birds. I would never get on a plane in Alaska in Nome in February with nine other dudes. That thing looked like it was made of canvas. Not doing it. So we all have our boundaries. And those people out there. When I was in Juneau, I'm like, how do you guys get out? It's the only state capital. This is its claim to fame. Only state capital in the United States. It doesn't have a road to it. You can't. You can't drive to Juneau.

[Brady]

But.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I didn't know. It's blocked by a mountain and by the water, so you have to fly in. And there's no airport. There's the. The bay.

[Brett]

You drop them on the beaver planes.

[John Holmberg]

It sucks. And when I asked the dude, I'm like, this place is gorgeous. And he goes, live here for a minute. And he was. That, by the way, he was the first person to greet us off the boat. You get off the boat, I'm like, my God, this place is beautiful. Live here for a minute. Well, thank you. What do you do? You had a chamber of commerce. Nice job. And I said, why do you say that? And he said, it's like a prison. That wall keeps me in, that water keeps me in. I'm stuck here.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right, then. Well, it's beautiful, still lovely. And I plan on being here for a day because I just got off that hotel boat.

[Brett]

You get on one of those boats, too?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. You're. You're capable of. You're mobile. You're ambulatory. Walk. But, yeah, he was. He was sitting. Literally sitting next to a sign that said, welcome to Juneau. And he was taking, like, your name and stuff and pointing in the direction of whatever excursion you'd signed up for. And he told me, this is the worst place in the world. All right. Anyway, so Scottsdale is. You know, people are going to be acting like, you know, the World Trade Centers fell over there in Scottsdale. And not to diminish, you know, the size of an accident when somebody dies, but it wasn't that big. That's kind of the risk we have. I had a lady die on me on a plane. Same amount of people died on one of my flights and died on the one yesterday, and it never made the news. That was the creepiest day of my life. It Always will be. Always. And I unfortunately had to find out she was dead. I thought she would. Her face melted onto me. The sweatiest thing I've ever seen. Her head landed on my shoulder. Husband started hitting her, which was crazy because he was on Spirit now, or.

[Brady]

What is it?

[John Holmberg]

No, this was on America west back in the day, right before America west made the swaparoo. Old ladies sitting next to me put her head on my shoulder, and I just kept, like, kind of ignoring her. I think I was reading the In Flight magazine. You're.

[Brett]

You're deep into Sky Mall, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was gonna buy that little gnome dog that you keep your key in. And her head hit me, and I didn't think anything of it. I gave it. Sadly enough, though, I gave it two shimmies, too, to try to get her to wake up and get her head off my shoulder and give a little quick bump on nothing. And then her husband goes, oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God. And he just starts smacking her in the face. And then I had to move. Well, a dentist, I think was the only doctor on board, tried to revive her, and then they shuttled her off the plane. We were halfway between Albuquerque and Phoenix. I was coming back from Dallas. Like, we got two options. We can go back to Albuquerque, we can go to Phoenix, and, like, keep going. And she just laid there in the middle of the thing in the aisle, right? Oh, yeah. They tried to keep her in the seats, and for some reason, they put her in the aisle. And her husband. Her husband was, like, in the chair, and they lost. Was weird.

[Brady]

So he's slapping the hell out of his wife, and you're going, God damn, I wish you could do that. My wife once.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Get this off my shoulder. That's right. Well, you do. And you don't know this guy. Who the hell is this? You. Who are. You're always putting your head in some other guy's lap. Here we go again, sir. I'm not interested. Of course you're not interested. She's a dead lay. It's been enough time. We can joke. Yeah. Hey, for Christ's sake, it was an America West Point, she'd probably be dead by now anyway. I'm sure he is. Yeah. I mean, he was. He was hitting her like it wasn't. And my shoulders underneath it and these wax were, like, hard. Like, he's been through this before. Out she went. My friend's brother worked at America West Airlines. And I'm like, I need to ask questions. Like, what. What happened on this Flight. And he goes, oh, if you only knew how many dead people we towed off planes. I'm like, I don't even know what that means. And he said, that happens a lot. And then he looked into it and we lost her. We lost her, Jim. Nothing I could do about it. I didn't kill her. It's horrifying.

[Brett]

So grandmas and grandpas coming out to visit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. The air gets a little weird and probably lungs aren't so great. I don't. And the worst part is, is like she was just so peacefully dead. She was still breathing. She was still alive when they took her off the plane. I know that she was peacefully dead. It wasn't one of those.

[Brett]

Not a violent death.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Like pukes and poops. Yeah, there's violent death. You'll find out soon enough. Keep it up. The weird stroke, you live for three or four days. No, it was just she went to sleep on my shoulder. It wasn't anything like she didn't bleed out, she didn't poop, she didn't do anything. Kept it together.

[Brett]

Hear the words you say sometimes? I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98Kupd Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Speaking of old people and pooping, I was watching TV last night and there's a new commercial on for wherever. Washable diapers for elderly folk. So it's on the heels of. You know who I blame? You know who I blame here? You ladies who are too lazy to just use feminine hygiene products. You try to scare yourself again. That's a Rachel Maddow thing. You tried to scare yourself into thinking every time you clean yourself you're going to get toxic shock. So instead you get those Nick's panties and just bleed out. Shove them in the wash with everything.

[Brett]

Flash it right on there.

[John Holmberg]

Disgusting. The grossest invention ever. That's going back to the pre hygiene days of just wearing bloody pants. So now they got these ones called the oh, it's so gross. Wherever washable for. And this old lady walks goes. You just wear the adult diaper like their underwear. It's great. And they show these puffy weird. Like this poor old lady looks like she's got a sack and so she's walking around like, look, everything's fine.

[Brady]

What are they calling you?

[John Holmberg]

Wear Ever W E A R ever. And then the big selling point, good for up to 200 washes. Wow. That's. I'm saying this.

[Brett]

That's a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Old lady p. Those last 25 washes are questionable whether or not they're still good. You get me up to 150 pissed pants underwear.

[Brett]

But now it's up to the discretion of the old lady to say it's.

[John Holmberg]

Time to wash them, right? Well, she can wash them every day, 200 times. But I'm saying if you piss your.

[Brett]

Pants, you piss your pants too.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think old people wash their clothes every day?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think she's washing her underwear every day?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Pissed pants. Really? Why?

[Brett]

I think so. They just. They're dried.

[John Holmberg]

You think she's got the wherewithal to wear diapers and cleaning them is just optional?

[Brady]

What a pig. I wear.

[John Holmberg]

I want, I want your theory on this.

[Brett]

Well, if she's soiling them, she'll wash them. But that's what I'm saying. But she didn't soil.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think old people back on. You think the old people go multiple days in a row with their drawers?

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. And this is based on what? Just a hunch that no one. Old people, you know, old people, like.

[Brett]

They don't shower every day, Right.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't think that they. They reuse their disgusting, dirty. Maybe dudes, but old ladies, definitely dudes.

[Brett]

More than the old men.

[John Holmberg]

Now, I think deranged old ladies piss themselves and leave them on because that's why they smell like ammonia sometimes. But these things, you can get the.

[Brady]

Lovely lacy panties for 18.99. There is no reason to have lovely lacy his panties, his pants, because you're not. You're not getting any. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Let me just peel these off real quick.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, man.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we're gonna go ahead and call a timeout. Did you just take off sexy piss panties? It's a thong. Yeah.

[Brett]

So she's doing sold out for Valentine's.

[John Holmberg]

Day, but okay, 200 washes. I have T shirts that don't have 200 washes in them. And they never had a promise that they did, but because they'll get parakeet armpits if I'm working out in them, which essentially what piss panties are. You're doing a heavy let's push this to the limits kind of test to your piss panties and 200 washes. I'm guessing after with old lady urine. 10, and they start to kind of decompose a little bit. 20 if you get all the way to 200 pieces or washes. And if you're wearing piss panties, you're pissing them every day.

[Brady]

Hush, hush. Seamless panty.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they try to make them sound sexy. They want to make it Seem like nobody knows. You know how I know? It's. You know how I know? Everybody like the lady walking in the commercial, so proud of them. But you know how I know she knows? It's a prideless moment, is that she's like. And no one will know. Like, the big thing was discretion. Like, you can't even see lines. There's no puffy front. There's the. Like, you're embarrassed by this and you're trying to find ways to not have to. You want to piss your pants, but you don't want anybody to know you're doing it.

[Brett]

Is that a piss pillow below that?

[Brady]

No, that is. That is the travel bag. So you can carry extras with you.

[John Holmberg]

Well, and so they don't touch your other clothes because they stink like ammonia and like a poodle getting a perm799 for that pouch.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We have to discourage. Now, look, modern science has done a lot of great things. One of them should be to button it up for the old folk, especially old ladies. Old ladies. You know, I had four children and now every time I sneeze, okay, yuck.

[Unknown]

I gotta wear pants.

[Brett]

Panties.

[John Holmberg]

You know what you shouldn't do? Advertise it. Disgusting is keep it down. Put, you know, throw wads of cotton in there, some sort of absorbent thing and throw it away. What kind of decent human being wants to hang on to pants they've urinated in multiple with the intention? Like if I had a pair of jeans, oops, I peed my pants, I'd wash them by themselves. I would not immediately go, these are my piss pants from here on out. These are the ones I piss in every time. It's never going to be my intent to have a pair of pants I urinate in regularly.

[Brett]

Today feels like a day I might pee myself.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not getting up to anybody body. I'm gonna put my piss jeans on. I've often said that. I used to say that a long time ago, if men had periods, jokingly, we would have our period weak pants. And you'd see like Brady walk in with these tie dyed horrible. Like, ah, that time of the month, huh, buddy?

[Unknown]

Yeah, you know, it put my period pants back.

[Brett]

These are my favorites.

[Unknown]

Got a tough one today, heavy flow.

[John Holmberg]

And then he's just got these pants that just. We ruined for a week. Yeah. And then. And then you, you dip them in the pool when you get home, put them on a line and then wait 20 days and do it again.

[Brett]

And at Christmas you get a new pair.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, hey. New period pants. They'll destroy these just in time. By the way, heavy flow on the way. I'm a five. And if Brady had a period, he'd be a four or five. Based on female build. A girl like your size or your look.

[Brett]

Super soaker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that thing is a four or five for sure. She doubles down every once in a while, but yeah. This, this. This is not advancement. This is not medicine. Needs to get on the idea of finding a thing that tightens it up. And right now, ladies, if you're listening, Kegel up. Because it's, It's. It's worse than when dudes like Brett's not allowed to wear sweatpants. Like Matthias says, no sweatpants in public because she don't want you dressing like Paulie Walnuts yet.

[Brady]

Well, no tracksuits. I'm not wearing the gray sweatpants.

[John Holmberg]

Right, but you're not allowed to track suit out of the house for dinners and stuff. I know, but we'll see. Okay, so you're fair.

[Brett]

She'll bend on that.

[John Holmberg]

To be fair to her, no choice. Your rule is no piss panties. Absolutely. The second you quit on her and go, no, I'm going full tracksuits for comfort, she can go, all right, well, I'm not going to try anymore either. This is the most. This is the ultimate giving up moment.

[Brett]

Those are two different trying.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no one's. It's quitting either way. It's quitting on relationship, it's quitting on yourself. It's like, well, I'm no longer a relevant member of society. I'll go ahead and wear pants I piss in because I could control it. But, eh, why should I when I've got a pair of panties that'll catch all. No, no. And don't say it's society's fault. And it's like, you know, the beauty standards too high? No, we don't piss our pants until we're like 80. And then we wear big diapers that you buy at the store. And the beginning of it said, are you worried about spending hundreds of dollars a month on adult diapers? And I'm like, how often are you doing that?

[Brady]

Absolutely not.

[John Holmberg]

How many times are you going through the piss panties? Do you double down every once in a while.

[Brett]

And so these are for younger people, not the older people. The piss panty thing here.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're. Well, I.

[Brady]

Well, they're for anybody.

[John Holmberg]

They're for anybody who wants to piss their pants and wash them. So I guess. Yeah, but I must. It's. It's mostly older folks. You're looking at me like this is something I shouldn't talk about. Are you. Are you currently wearing those?

[Brett]

Yes, I am.

[John Holmberg]

It's a look on his face like, back off.

[Unknown]

It's the big deal.

[Brett]

They're comfortable.

[John Holmberg]

Selfish prick. Yeah. Any woman that tells you it's, you know, every time I sneeze, I pee. All right, well, you're gonna get. That's a doctor's visit. That's not a funny postinos talk. That's. You shouldn't, like, look for common people to go, hey, that's me too. That's a visit to one medical. And you sit down and you say, hey, string, rope. What do I put on, like, a. One of those Japanese dough ball things in there? What do I. What do I do to stop. Every time I sneeze, I pee from being my laugh line.

[Brett]

Just need to cauterize it.

[John Holmberg]

You think burn it down? Yeah. Are you saying welder shut?

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

That's not good. You gotta have an outlet. She'll die. But again, maybe piss panties. Maybe that's God's way I say this. I'm with Brett. If you piss yourself because you giggle, and I mean, like, you know, not just a dribble, like you pee, you'll.

[Unknown]

Go, oh, no, I have to wear.

[John Holmberg]

Pants that catch everything. Maybe Brett's right. Maybe it's time to go. Maybe, you know, a one off. But if you're changing your piss panties into different piss panties in the same day and you're just flopping back and forth, or if you have, like you said, you got a bag of them.

[Brady]

Yeah. If you need the travel bag, you.

[John Holmberg]

Need to travel bag this panties. Yeah. You're pretty much done here as far as I'm concerned. What more are you bringing to the. You're not. You're not gonna make OpenAI better. You're not coming up with any new ideas.

[Brett]

Travel bag you could have on the sidelines of a football game and use a smelling sauce.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. My grandma some. She wore adult diapers, and every once in a while, I'd have to tap her on the shoulder and go, surely. Yep. Mm. I'll be right there, Dennis. John. Thanks.

[Brady]

Do you and Dan have that. That deal as well?

[John Holmberg]

We got a couple. I'm gonna text him today.

[Brady]

It's a pillow over the face.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think men have as big a problem like when men are pissing themselves, like Joe Biden clearly was, it's. You see that it's time to just keep them indoors. But, you know, when dudes Pee themselves. It's like, let's get these on you and just wait for the end. No. Guy's like, I've got to get to work. Where are my piss panties? You're pretty much done working. You don't want to go to postinos with the ladies. And you don't. You're, you know, you're not golfing in your diaper. You're done.

[Brett]

You know, two minute warning has already sounded.

[John Holmberg]

You're in the hurry up. You're in the hurry up and you're losing. You know, if you're pissing yourself this, you're. Yeah, mortality has a 28 point lead and you're for some reason still running pass plays. It's no, it's no good. Wherever my mother pisses her pants four.

[Unknown]

Times a day, you son of a bitch.

[John Holmberg]

Right? And all I'm saying is start sizing her for the box. That's enough. There's no reason to keep that around. No reason for her want to be around. I've gotta go. I've pissed myself again. Oh, Jesus. We tried to take you out for Olive Garden twice and you peed two times. I will say though, a lazy day around the house. If I lived alone. You're a bachelor. You throw those things on there. I still don't think I could do it. I have. I'm not gonna lie. I think we all have. I can't pee in the pool. Like just letting my body pee where it's not supposed to pee is very much like a lockdown situation for like there's whatever the two generals inside my bladder are that have to turn the key at the same time. They're very hyper aware of when I'm doing it the right way, which is just free in the desert or woods or a bathroom. But never like just with pants on. Especially I think that's because the two key guys that go, ready, turn, all right, ignition. And then they flip the keys at the same time. They don't allow me to go. If I'm wearing pants in a pool, my brain like, you're gonna pee your pants. It's all right. We're in water. I don't think it's all right. And we don't want to get used to this. My brain tells me we don't want this to become habit. Like we want to always have that safety on of you're wearing pants. It's our job to keep this in. And they've done a great job, by the way. I don't think I've. I Think the last time I pissed my pants was first grade. All this morning sickness.

[Brett]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 Kupda Holmberg's morning sickness. I peed my pants in first grade because I wouldn't use the bathroom. Those gross, disgusting. Jesse poofed in there right before me, and his poop was, like, orange. And it was everywhere. And I went in there and I'm like, I'm not doing this. So I held it as best I could and couldn't anymore because I was only, you know, five or six. And I peed. And Mrs. Corns told me it was a kindergarten because Mrs. Corns told me. She said, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. And she goes. And it was only like 10 minutes left because it had to be kindergarten because it was a half day. And I just sat there in my own piss until my mom came and got me.

[Brett]

Got cold.

[John Holmberg]

Did get cold. It was Indiana. Indiana days. I do remember what I was wearing, too. It's just an odd pair of brown pants and a Steeler shirt. And then my mom dressed me pretty much like I was an R word from jump. And that has stuck forever. I still kind of dress that way. I was made fun of by Shane, his wife from Life Change Alone. Yeah, on Friday at the. At the tournament. Because I've had, you know, lunch and dinner and stuff with them. And I always say, sorry, I dress like I'm 12. And they were all dressed nice. I walked in and I had a pair of really nice shoes on. They were tennis shoes, but they were super expensive ones. And then just a pair of jeans and a shirt. And she goes, jesus, you're not kidding. You do dress like you're 12. I'm like, what's wrong with this? Like, these shoes are worth more than your whole outfit. Yeah, but nobody can tell. I guess that's true. And then I said, well, I curse you to piss yourself someday and have nobody know but you. And then the husband. Stick around. That is something in the commercial I didn't see. There was no husband with, like, a golf bag or tennis racket patting her on the butt. Let's go, honey. Off to the. Off to dinner where you can piss yourself freely. I guess the good side, if you're looking for a silver lining, is she can sit on the inside of the booth now. You don't have to move every five seconds for her to get up to the peace. She's gonna stay in the booth the entire time she's not up and down. She'll find a reason to go in there and then she'll touch the front. I'm soaked like a baby and I don't want her doing my laundry and put those things in there with my clothes.

[Brett]

Ah, little mix match.

[John Holmberg]

That's a deal breaker. I think that's it. Oh, man.

[Unknown]

Look at some young girl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they don't piss themselves and they're not proud of it. No man's looking at a beautiful young lady who pisses herself and has great pride in that. Why would we do that at any age?

[Unknown]

I pissed myself because I gave you children.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't ask for those. I don't want those. If you want to put those somewhere else, we can just go get that thing fixed. I mean, think about it from a man's perspective. If you just started going, did I just piss myself? You're going to the doctor like that day. That isn't something you go and find absorbent underpants for. You just go to the doctor. What's the problem here? I seemingly. I'm pissing myself with no notice.

[Brady]

What do you mean, what's the problem?

[John Holmberg]

And if his. If as a doctor, I give you these. What are these? So what are these? Underwear? Yeah. Just pissing them. This isn't a solution. This is a. This is a band aid.

[Brett]

Good set of payment plans.

[John Holmberg]

Drill into me, man. Get the scalpel, and let's figure out what's going on. Turn the works back on. I'm afraid you'll never know when you're gonna have to pee again. Well, then that's it. This is my last day ever. In your life. Will you ever know that you've gotta pee? Done. See ya. Or you could wear these big puffy pants, wander around smelling of urine. Nope. I'm no good to society anymore. That's. It's time to go. Bye now. And if you're currently out there right now wearing those underpants, go. That's just done. I'm not wrong, am I?

[Brett]

I do seem to be.

[Brady]

Absolutely not.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Brett]

Companies popping up more with. With these options.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So does that mean it's an increase that's happening? Could be.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think it's. I think it's a thing where people no longer have any pride to where they're trying to do something about it rather than piss themselves. Adult diapers are a thing. But let's not get the. That's something you throw out. That's something you get rid of. I remember I had friends who had babies years ago and they wanted to go with the earth safe, no diaper thing. And they. So they got those cloth baby diapers and babies just nonstop, and it's like mud. And their house kind of smelled funny. After they had a kid and it wasn't. And within a week, the husband who was Mr. Eco, everything was like, no. And they had Pampers and everything. You could imagine they were killing the earth as fast as they could because he's like, every time I walked into that room, we had a special, like, bucket with a lid on it that would occasionally have, you know, we didn't have time. Just go wash them right away. And you throw a giant rag in there that you're gonna wash in your washing.

[Brett]

In the Diaper Genie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then you put it in your washing machine. And then you have to walk. You have to run your washing machine empty a couple of times. Oh, man. High five, Brett. None of that. But yeah, These people were like Greta Thunberg. They were worried about the Earth. This was 20 years ago. Worried about the Earth. In fact, longer than that. It was my ex wife's friends, the.

[Brady]

Hell'S the Diaper Genie?

[John Holmberg]

And within it, within a week. Diaper Genie is for diapers, not for reusable stuff disposal. I'm all for whatever you want to do for disposable diapers.

[Brady]

Not have kids.

[John Holmberg]

You throw them out. That's the other thing. There's another disposable in that I'm not going to throw at you, but to keep them just. You think you're saving the Earth because you're not throwing diapers away.

[Brett]

Brett, don't skimp on the diaper. Jean, you never got to worry about that.

[John Holmberg]

His name was Scott.

[Brady]

I did him suing Dr. Lynn.

[John Holmberg]

I teased you. Oh, my God. I teased him for no end. Not at all. Just constantly like, hey, hippie, you still using those cruddy diapers? No, we switch. Shut up. And I'm like, yeah, you don't. Just one person. You're not gonna ruin the Earth. By the way, he also had a huge SUV back in, like 1999 that was just Loved every second of it. But then he'd blame everybody else for why the earth wasn't right. And I laughed and laughed and laughed when he went from those cloth diapers and he and his wife just couldn't handle it anymore. And now there's a good chance she's, you know, I had that baby and.

[Unknown]

Now I've quit on life and my husband. I wear diapers.

[John Holmberg]

Some of it makes me think it's so dudes don't touch him anymore. Because ladies, when they get to a certain age, just laugh and say ew. At the idea of even at the Phoenix Open. There were a couple ladies in our thing on Friday and said something about one of the husbands said, well, if she does that, that's blowjobs for a year. And they both went, yeah, right, yuck. And I'm like, oh, you guys, don't you look at it like eating liver now. It's like, this is. I see.

[Brett]

Tag it liver and onions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, none of them ever. That's a deal. Like, women never say. Women ruin everything with sex by the time they're a certain age. And I don't know what that age is yet, but they. When they start. Because I see it. Nobody ever says, no woman has ever said, he does that.

[Unknown]

That's cunnilingus for a month.

[John Holmberg]

Like, it just doesn't pop out of their mouths. They never make a bet with, like, you're gonna be down there every day because we won't leave them alone. But they all bait all three of the ladies, right? Ew, gross. Like, oh, I see. You think it's gross to want to go down there or it's a laugh line to sit and go, ha ha ha ha. Yeah, sex with my husband. Like that's a thing. It's just such this. It's a big chore to these women. And I think that's a deal breaker too, because those ladies are probably a week or two away from a diaper.

[Brady]

Hello, Cordell and Cordell.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Cordell and Cordell. What's the problem? What's the reason for divorce? Oh, I made a joke that we could have pleasure together at one point or another and she laughed and said ew. So I think that's a. If I ever did that to her, she'd break down in tears. Anything else? Yes.

[Brady]

Piss panties.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's wearing piss panties. Oh, we have a special. We have a quick form for that. It's a one sheet.

[Brady]

It's like the taxes, the 1040.

[John Holmberg]

Easy. It's the divorce. Easy. I'll have you out of this marriage. And by 5 o'clock she'll only be allowed to piss herself one more time on your watch, sir. Yeah, I really appreciate that. That's nice. She's quit completely. Every once in a while she touches her front, but. And then sees if she's wet and I can't do this anym. Yeah, no, it's just. Sign here, sign here. Put your name on the line. We'll fill out the details later. She's getting nothing. The judge is like, wait a minute. What? She does what now? She wears panties that she pees in and then she washes them every day. Judgment is for the man. He gets everything.

[Unknown]

Just because I pissed myself.

[John Holmberg]

Did you hear yours? Did you hear what you said? Did you hear yourself?

[Unknown]

All this because I piss myself regularly and then wash with his clothes, the same piss pants.

[John Holmberg]

All right, ma'am, you're not making. In fact, I'm gonna fight you. Pay him.

[Unknown]

I don't have anything.

[John Holmberg]

Well, go get a job and give him the check because it's ridiculous. You put him through enough just today.

[Unknown]

All because I pissed myself?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you're an adult.

[Unknown]

I wear the wherever.

[John Holmberg]

Worse. Worse. All right, the only thing I'm going to say is that the husband in this particular case has to buy her a coffin. And hopefully she gets the hint.

[Unknown]

So now because I piss myself, I'm no longer a functioning member of society and I should die.

[John Holmberg]

Well, well, finally you've said something reasonable.

[Brady]

Well, you said it to me.

[John Holmberg]

Finally you've come around our way of thinking. Jesus Christ, she does have logic.

[Brett]

You're a dream.

[John Holmberg]

You guys are jerks.

[Unknown]

We can't help it.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you can. There's gotta be some medical procedure beyond just wearing dirty panties. That's disgusting.

[Brett]

We deal with it. Couple extra taps, right?

[John Holmberg]

And sometimes I've been complaining about since about 45. You gotta stand there a little longer. Cause you don't know when you're done peeing, you put it back and you're like, what? What's going on? But that's just, you know. But as a man, I'm not. Well, looks like I should wear some absorbent jeans now. No. Yeah.

[Brett]

Cause I can just let it go, let it float.

[John Holmberg]

Then you're just gonna get lazier and lazier with it. There's times when ladies in piss panties, these wherevers that get the tingle and go, I gotta pee. But luckily I'm wearing my trucker drawers. So I'll just piss here at the table at Phoenix City Grill and hope no one notices. And then I'll slosh around in my wet for a while while I guzzle more Pino. Anyway, it's a societal problem. I'd rather have a lady that just goes, ah, pull over. What? I get out of the car and pee. You can do it on the side of the road. It's better than pissing my pants. Suppose that's true. You're a keeper.

[Brett]

Hand me the bottle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. You're done with that Gatorade. There's a sip or two left. Get rid of it and get five.

[Brett]

Or six bottles empty.

[John Holmberg]

Too sweet. Make that thing fast. I got a squirt anyway. Where evers if you see and dudes I don't know that we would have known without your. You're me, the narrator of life. If you were in your wife's closet there and saw wherever. If you see that logo.

[Brett]

We need to talk.

[John Holmberg]

We need to. Yeah, it's done. Get some sticky pads and start putting them around the house on things you want versus what she's gonna get. It's time to go.

[Brady]

If it shows up at the boxes next to your Amazon deliveries out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And wherever you should not be. It should not be discreet. There should be a huge wherever logo on whatever the Amazon box is. For sure it should. And you have to have your own washer and dryer for that. You're not washing that with my stuff, honey. I my pants. So just throw those in there with the the rest of the wash. I've got most of the chunks out.

[Brett]

What's wrong? There's a box of wherever's and Lume in the front door.

[John Holmberg]

She's completely given up. She's wearing my T shirts. Pair of sweats. I don't know where those came from. I think the Reagan administration. And yeah, wherever's in Lou May as that's how she's getting by. Her shower floor has been dry for two months. But her pants haven't. Yeah. Keep Cordell and Cordell on speed. If you've got wherever, they've got an easy form. It's true. 6 Twitter. That's what I see when I watch TV. I'm like, oh, come on. There's no market for this. There's prideless weirdos. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. And we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's out of control now.