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Dick Toledo
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Brady
That guy's right. I think one of my favorite characters that we've had in a long time is Octopus Tracy Morgan. I don't know where it goes from there, but I'll have to say it. We don't say it too often. Aside from Brady's cancer diagnosis. What a show this morning. We're all talking about it off here. Can I get an urologist to email me and say if we asked you to come back for a third visit, it's not good. I'm hoping Brady's rose colored glasses are right, but Brett's not gonna be on the show for a minute because Mike is here. Rit guy says Brady isn't concerned about dying from kidney cancer because he realizes he lives in a racist alcoholic mom filled city that serves gutter pie. And Gilbert goons influencing his daughter to be a bong ripping hippie cutter pie. Gutter pie is my favorite. That's a band name right there. Gutter pie. Gilbert Gutter pie.
Gilbert
Apple pie.
Brady
Think about it, Brady. That might be the last time you judge one of those pie contests. You had to choke down that dumb bitch's apple pie. Basic the Taylor Swift of the gutter pies.
Brett
Don't ever do that again.
Brady
Yeah, don't make apple pie ever again for Brady. You never know when it's going to be a fun one.
Gilbert
Better than blueberry cobbler, peach something.
Brett
Now you're talking.
Gilbert
Now we got.
Brady
I'll eat all of it.
Dick Toledo
Was it bad enough to turn you off of this fall's contest?
Brett
No.
Brady
Let me ask this.
Brett
I knew the answer before.
Brady
Would you be. Would you be a judge at an all gutter apple pie concert? Because if people ask me like, why are you calling it gutter? Because Brady does this in a storm drain every year in the Green Belt.
Dick Toledo
Can we do our own pie contest and make Brady.
Brady
Oh, that's a good idea. Storm drain Apple pie contest listener pie. I won't do that. He's going through enough.
Brett
We got to my kidney can't handle that kidney pie.
Brady
Oh, we'll have a kidney pie. Eating content.
Larry
Is it apple pie or is it just her apple?
Brady
Oh, yeah, it was her apple pie.
Brett
I've seen him apple pie against the other ones that were.
Larry
That's.
Brady
It was her apple pie.
Larry
I've seen tap dance.
Brady
Stop.
Larry
That's a tap dance.
Brady
I have seen you eat apple pieces.
Brett
Yeah, I like apple pie.
Brady
But compared to these, it was ejaculous.
Dick Toledo
It was the worst one.
Brady
You can see I was at.
Brett
It wasn't as good as the other pies.
Brady
Blt. An apple pie with a little ice cream on top showed up. And it wasn't blt. Torp was with us. I don't remember where he ate. And you and Torp hit that.
Brett
He's a pie man.
Brady
You hit those things with two spoons.
Dick Toledo
It was gone quick.
Brady
Like sharks and piranhas. The feeding over there at Bass pro shops. They looked and gone. We need to pay.
Brett
That had to been an apple crisp.
Brady
It was whatever. I don't know the difference.
Dick Toledo
Man.
Brady
Maybe. You know what I'm thinking right now happened the way you prayed that guy into alcoholism and sadness. That Gilbert that made that apple pie. Pray to Moroni that you got spots on your kidneys and look what's going on. It's God fights willed into existence anyway. Well, I'm rooting for. That scares me. I'm worried for a pal and word.
Dick Toledo
For my little buddy for me because I'm four years behind you.
Brady
Jesus, how selfish is that? Right? You worry about Brady's got shadows on his. Yeah, is that by the time ultrasound.
Brett
Turn there something like that will happen.
Brady
Jesus, what a selfish PR like you're worse than the dude that emailed this morning.
Gilbert
Guys, I got an announcement. I got some shadows in my ultrasound.
Larry
Oh, geez.
Brady
What about me? What does this mean for me?
Larry
Yeah, things happen.
Brady
I am surrounded by pricks. Brady, I'm the most caring guy in the room and I wish the guy to die this morning.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, that's 100 true though.
Brady
I'm the only one that has any sort of thought and love for a little bogan over.
Larry
This is a first.
Brady
No, it's not. Toledo says what about me? And you're like, bad things happen to a lot of people. I'm the only loving and caring individual in the room.
Larry
I'm saying that's a first.
Brady
No, it's not. I love and care.
Larry
Yeah, it's Drunky and Gilbert.
Brady
Wow, that guy can eat a bunch of dick. Damn it. You're gonna make me do it.
Larry
Let's drink again.
Brady
Yeah. Dear Brady's God, please transfer Brady's weird shadow Cancers over to that drunken Gilbert. He deserves it more than Brady. There's no reason for Brady to get sick.
Larry
Call us pricks.
Dick Toledo
He's live.
Brady
Oh, I wish. Cancer on that guy. Hold on. Sorry, God. My bad. Supposed to be quiet.
Brett
The man is at peace with God.
Brady
That's right. I'm in a. I'm in a moment with the Savior, this sorry Lord.
Dick Toledo
Anyway, can I invest?
Brady
I'm in the middle of a prayer. What is wrong with you two? Brady's the only one who's got his head bowed. You guys should pay attention.
Brett
Close your eyes.
Dick Toledo
He's not bowing my head.
Brady
I'm sorry about all the rule rude and horrible people in the room. Let me get back to my message. Could you give cancer to that guy and Gilbert and take it away from my friend Brady in the ultrasound today? Can you just have Dr. Lynn touch it with his magic wand and send it over there in some sort of eastern medicine thing? Thanks, God.
Larry
He's gonna do it like a G6.
Brady
Dr. Lynn listened to prayer. Does he listen to G6? Yeah. Well, he's good. Hey, Brady, your kidney. More shadow than kidney. You're going to take so much prednisone, you get moon faced. You look like Jerry Lewis last days.
Gilbert
Whatever.
Dick Toledo
John, is Shadows on My Ultrasound a decent band name?
Brady
No, it's more of an album name.
Dick Toledo
Oh, there you go. Yeah. And then this.
Larry
That's the box set.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
Guys, can I invest in an alternate podcast with you guys? I really love this bitter bizarro version of Homburg's Morning.
Brady
It's the same as it's. It's the same show as every day. This one just had a little steroid fuel and then. Brady. God damn it.
Dick Toledo
Sorry, guys, but all I had was Natty Light. But guess what? I just popped in honor of you guys.
Brady
Homeburg Bound.
Dick Toledo
Yep.
Larry
Salute.
Brady
Cheers. We're not even drinking it anymore. I still have. I'm still staying brand loyal with four Peaks, but we're out of Homeburg Bound in the building.
Dick Toledo
Hey, Brady, prepare yourself. It's probably a renal cyst.
Brady
Geez.
Larry
Wow.
Brett
I've got those. Yeah.
Brady
Hey, and all this cancer talk for Brady dying and this guy over there in Gilbert that I want to walk into the freeway. Eleanor emails and says. I recall rolling my eyes at that guy's email last year. I Had no idea he went for your heads. And then she sent a picture that says effing loser. And it's Shorzy from Letterkenny. But after then it says P.S. by the way, Larry turned me down for a date a couple months ago. You think I should make another run at him? Yes. Sure. I won't break. I want Brady to see Larry happy. And Brady doesn't have much time.
Brett
So, ladies, please.
Brady
Where's the moon face? Well, I'm hoping this is nothing. Brady, please come in and give us more tomorrow. We didn't know you were making all these documents.
Brett
Well, tomorrow, the Cascades, not tomorrow or not today.
Brady
You're going today for something else. Yeah. Well, this is a follow up with what's going on.
Dick Toledo
You've got too many appointments.
Brady
Yeah, too many appointments to not be horrible.
Brett
Two different guys, but same thing. Kidney.
Brady
Then this is terrible. Oncologist. Is the word. Oncologist involved?
Brett
No, nephrologist is the one I'm going to.
Brady
What's that mean? I don't know what that is.
Brett
Kidney specialist.
Brady
So they're worried?
Brett
No. So this meeting is a follow up because the blood pressure medicine had to. It wasn't.
Dick Toledo
It wasn't working.
Brett
Yeah, I was running a little high.
Brady
Jesus Christ.
Larry
What else is wrong?
Brady
Can I see him?
Brett
We've got it under control now.
Brady
Are you carrying your chart? May I see your chart, please?
Dick Toledo
But last time you had it under control, what was it? 200?
Brady
220 over 220.
Brett
That was a little high.
Brady
The fire department admitted him to stroke.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, I was 141.
Brett
I was red lined. I was red lined. A little high.
Brady
Yeah, I was 131 over 92. And the doctor's like, that's a little high for you. You all right? I'm fine. I've seen. I've seen the devil and it's okay. I literally witnessed a man die in front of me and he's. And he walked out of the room.
Larry
Those are rookie numbers.
Brady
Yeah. His mom was equally as crazy because we were at that firehouse that one time. I'm like, take her blood pressure. 182 over 105. Shut up. But that's just because I had a pie. That they all think it's because of their last meal. Brady was holding pizza and blamed it. That's the truth.
Dick Toledo
I remember you saying that in my.
Brett
Hospital room, pizza was in my lap.
Dick Toledo
Two pizzas. Right. You brought two in.
Brady
Holding two pizzas. I had had back surgery and Brady bought a large and a Medium. A medium for Megan and I. A large for himself. And he was gonna come visit me and took my blood pressure, which was perfect. 119 over 68. And I'm like, take his. And the nurse said out loud, if I wasn't looking right at you, I'd admit you for a stroke. Are you feeling okay? I'm fine.
Gilbert
I'm holding pizza.
Brett
What you talking about?
Brady
So he blamed his blood pressure spike and the fact that pizza was adjacent.
Gilbert
Hot blooded. I got it in my lap. You understand what that does to my blood pressure?
Brady
I think you were like 140 over 105 or something. Was it higher than that? Actually, it was. It was 160.
Brett
160 over 90.
Brady
I think 90 might be generous. I think you're higher. I think you were triple digits on both ends because she wanted to put you in another room.
Brett
I. I'd admit you to the icu.
Brady
She said if I embrace this big.
Brett
Smile, I would say, go to the ER right now.
Brady
She said I. If I wasn't looking at you when I saw these numbers, I would admit you for a stroke right now.
Larry
Oh, man.
Gilbert
I feel like you're the fifth person.
Brett
That'S told me that.
Gilbert
Will you stop already?
Brady
Stop it already.
Gilbert
I'm gonna try to say fiduciary three times, and if I knock it out of the yard, you gotta leave me alone.
Brett
You're tough. I run at a 220.
Gilbert
Fiducci, Fiducia Fiduci.
Brady
Get out of my room.
Gilbert
I'm like an electric socket.
Brady
All birds, morning sickness.
Dick Toledo
Hear the words you say sometimes.
Brett
I mean, who talks like.
Brady
Holg's morning sickness? All right, we're late. This is your fault. It's your fault for wrecking fun. Happy Gilbert Drunk day. No, I'm going to do my impression of that guy again. Another can in the trash.
Dick Toledo
Just notice the trail behind.
Larry
Larry's going to be cleaning.
Brady
That was a little bit of. Yeah, Larry's going to come in here.
Dick Toledo
Let's just go with Brett then. I've got some stuff, but not important.
Brady
Brett, give us some music for the hot release. Hold on. Brought to you by newac unit.com. save thousands, save time, buy online new ac unit.com and still throw Holmberg in that promo code and take another grand off the top of the deal. That is a great price. Summer is close. We're gonna have a nice couple weeks of cool again, which I like. But we are inevitably going to smash into the hot temperature. So once we do that, get your heart Shaped inflatable Montana Swim, swimming pool soaking. Soak in that because your air conditioner doesn't work. Or get your air conditioner replaced. New ac unit.com. save thousand, save time. Buy online. New ac unit.
Larry
All right, new stuff here from Lacuna Coil. This is gravity.
Brady
Did you listen yet? No, I just pulled it 5050 on the kuna Coil. So you. You like the entire.
Larry
Actually not one of our shows.
Dick Toledo
Didn't they like early.
Larry
No, I think you're thinking of small buckets.
Brady
Yeah.
Larry
Oh, that's.
Dick Toledo
I thought we had another.
Brady
We did OTEP one year, but we also had. What was the one with ma paw bucket? The one that was the. She had the little.
Larry
In this moment, I tried to get.
Brady
Lacuna Coil to ride bikes with me, essentially. Well, no, not. Not for real. In my ears.
Larry
Oh, okay.
Brady
And I was skipping songs so much that the ones I don't like. I hate. Bands I like. I like a lot. And it's because it's formulaic to that girl's work. Yeah.
Larry
That'S. That's a lot. Women in the. In the, you know, rock metal scene.
Brady
It's that ethereal baseline. Like they come.
Larry
You know, the Evanescence. And you know, she.
Brady
By the way, she has a beautiful voice. Yeah, yeah, but I just don't. I'm.
Brett
We could do some DND to that.
Brady
50 50.
Larry
This will probably be a short one. This is the luminaires. So long.
Brady
By the way, I just got a diagnosis from somebody says unless you're losing weight, Brady, which by the way the guys are acting. But I doubt you shouldn't have anything to worry about with the shadows on your ultrasound. Most likely it's a kidney issue. That's probably an anomaly. Just like you. Yeah, Brady is kind of an anomaly. 220 over 185 is an anomaly. All right. Sorry, Brett, Go ahead, Rod.
Larry
This is the luminaires. So long. You know what you're getting.
Dick Toledo
You know who I heard introing this song on you this week?
Brady
Dustin.
Dick Toledo
Sounded great, by the way.
Brady
Briller does a great job.
Larry
Why is he not on our airwaves other than one day a week?
Dick Toledo
Cuz he'd outshine the love.
Brady
Oh, don't start that. Taking a swing at her Weekenders, man. All right. Lumineers, Luminers. They are what they are Fine.
Brett
Shine the light.
Larry
Here's Margaret choir singing.
Brett
What?
Larry
I guess this is lucky gift.
Brady
She's going for that record Brady was talking about as an Asian American. Have a number one song.
Larry
Well, she got pissed off at the G6 guys.
Brady
There's only been one.
Gilbert
And your bees. Hello. Gun shots of fight. But you miss someone.
Brady
A lot of comedians want to sing. Eddie Murphy was the first one. It's a little 90s, but it's not bad.
Larry
Never gonna listen to it.
Brady
But if I didn't know that was Margaret Cho, I, I'd think I just missed a song from.
Brett
Maybe it's a different market show.
Brady
Wow. They do share a lot. Surnames are plentiful. She looks like Margaret Cho, but that doesn't mean either.
Brett
Yeah. Describer.
Brady
She's five'four haircut like Mo from the Three Stooges. And she's got kind of. She looks sleepy.
Larry
How about Sexy Red and Bruno Mars? This is Fat, Juicy and wet.
Brady
Great song. Have you heard this yet? Yeah, this is.
Larry
It's been out for a minute.
Brady
Yeah, yeah, it's. And Sexy Red's got everything happening.
Gilbert
Fat, juicy and wet. I don't even gang bang.
Brady
I don't think even if we can say that that good kitty, kitty, Good kitt kitty, kitty. Holding a cat like we like dog. Yeah. Definitely talking about she likes cats. Yeah. I love this song. I didn't realize it had said that that often. Sexy Red.
Larry
Let's just jump to. Let's just jump to it.
Brady
All right.
Larry
Since the super bowl just happened, we all heard the song edited, so let's do Kendrick Lamar.
Brady
Did I win last week?
Larry
I remember.
Dick Toledo
Yes, you did.
Brady
It's friendly. N word. The dude says it constantly.
Dick Toledo
No, Brady won last week.
Brady
Okay, sorry.
Dick Toledo
Last week.
Brett
Sorry, I'm gonna have to go with friendly. N word.
Brady
Smart move. Shoot. All right, I'll go angry. N word.
Dick Toledo
Damn it. All right, I'll take out any of the F words.
Brady
All right, here we go. Well, it'll hold on. Okay, good. We're good.
Larry
Ready?
Brady
Yep. Friendly.
Brett
Is that friendly?
Larry
I don't know. I mean.
Brady
Well, now, wait a minute.
Larry
Look at it, Debo. Any rap, he free throw, man. Calm down. And amber lights tell him breathe, bro.
Brady
I don't know.
Larry
Is that friendly?
Brett
I I, I don't know. I don't think.
Brady
Can I tell you neutral here' Problem that a middle aged white guy may have experienced late last night just watching Kendrick Lamar again. I'm like, I like those pants and they're all the rage. You order those big belts, just see what they look like.
Larry
How many pairs you order because you always double checked. Are you sure?
Brady
$83, only one pair. I'm gonna try some of those flare, but I like jeans, so I don't think that's more of a keeping up. He's 40, so it's not like I'm.
Brett
You'll look good. CB4.
Brady
I'm fine with that. Well, that is racist. And also out of touch, man. Here I am wishing that your cancer is not, and now you're making me kind of wonder.
Larry
Straight out of low cash.
Brady
Those aren't black pants anyway, those are your hot releases. We got the entertainment drill coming up in just moments. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98K. You PD.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (February 11, 2025)
Episode Overview
On February 11, 2025, "Holmberg's Morning Sickness," Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show on 98 KUPD, delivered a compelling mix of personal revelations, humorous banter, and hot music releases. Hosted by John Holmberg and featuring co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the episode delved deeply into Brady’s health concerns while maintaining the show’s signature entertaining and edgy style.
1. Personal Health Concerns: Brady’s Kidney Issues
The episode prominently features Brady Bogen sharing his worries about his kidney health, sparking a heartfelt and humorous discussion among the hosts.
Brady’s openness about his multiple kidney tests and appointments sets a serious yet relatable tone for the morning’s conversations.
His candid admission highlights his vulnerability, prompting empathy and supportive banter from his co-hosts.
2. Humorous Banter: The Gutter Pie Contest
Despite the serious health discussions, the show maintains its lively atmosphere through playful and recurring jokes about a fictional "Gutter Pie" contest.
Brady (02:10):
“Would you be a judge at an all gutter apple pie concert? Because if people ask me like, why are you calling it gutter? Because Brady does this in a storm drain every year in the Green Belt.”
Dick Toledo (02:21):
“Can we do our own pie contest and make Brady.”
Brady (02:24):
“Storm drain Apple pie contest listener pie. I won't do that. He's going through enough.”
This ongoing joke not only provides comedic relief but also showcases the camaraderie and quick wit of the hosts.
3. Hot Releases: Music and Comedy Highlights
The show transitions smoothly into discussing recent releases in music and comedy, keeping listeners updated and engaged.
Lacuna Coil's "Gravity" Release:
Brady shares his mixed feelings about the band’s new music, adding his humorous take on skipping songs he’s less fond of.
The Lumineers' New Track:
The hosts discuss The Lumineers’ latest work, with Brady attempting to connect the band’s ethereal style to mainstream trends.
Margaret Cho’s Unexpected Musical Venture:
Brady humorously critiques Margaret Cho’s foray into music, blending his sharp observations with light-hearted teasing.
“Sexy Red” Song Discussion:
The hosts dissect the lyrics and themes of "Sexy Red," reflecting on its provocative nature with characteristic humor.
4. Comedic Interactions and Personal Stories
The dynamic interactions among the hosts infuse the episode with spontaneous humor and personal anecdotes.
Brady on Blood Pressure Scare:
This intense moment is balanced by Bret and Dick’s humorous responses, showcasing the hosts' ability to navigate serious topics with levity.
Kendrick Lamar’s “Friendly N-Word” Segment:
The discussion reflects Brady’s humorous take on cultural trends and personal fashion choices, blending social commentary with wit.
5. Notable Quotes
Throughout the episode, several standout moments capture the essence of the show’s blend of humor and sincerity:
Brady (00:39):
“Aside from Brady's cancer diagnosis. What a show this morning.”
Brady (02:10):
“Would you be a judge at an all gutter apple pie concert?”
Brady (04:07):
“I'm rooting for. That scares me. I'm worried for a pal and word.”
Brady (12:21):
“Did you listen yet? No, I just pulled it 50/50 on the Lacuna Coil. So you... you like the entire.”
Brady (17:36):
“Can I tell you neutral here’ Problem that a middle-aged white guy may have experienced late last night just watching Kendrick Lamar again.”
6. Conclusion and Wrap-Up
As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on Brady’s health updates while teasing upcoming segments and releases. The balance between serious discussion and light-hearted humor ensures listeners are both informed and entertained.
Dick Toledo (18:25):
“Those aren't black pants anyway, those are your hot releases.”
Brady (18:25):
“We got the entertainment drill coming up in just moments. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98K. You PD.”
The final moments reaffirm the show's commitment to engaging content, setting the stage for future episodes filled with diverse topics and vibrant interactions.
Final Thoughts
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" masterfully navigates the spectrum of human experience, from personal health struggles to the excitement of new music releases. The authentic interactions and sharp humor create a relatable and entertaining atmosphere, affirming why 98 KUPD remains Arizona’s top choice for morning radio. Whether grappling with personal challenges or laughing over pie contests, Brady, Bret, Dick, and Larry deliver a memorable and impactful broadcast that resonates with a diverse audience.