02-11-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Condensed Short Show

Episode Date: February 11, 2026
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD, Arizona)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo (with recurring characters/announcement cameos)

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Overview of Episode Theme

This episode is a condensed, fast-moving installment featuring the usual blend of irreverent humor, local color, pop culture riffs, and absurdist games. The central event: a tongue-in-cheek "auction" of a listener named Sarah, who has volunteered to find a date through the show for Valentine's Day. Surrounding this, the hosts riff on local news (including a Savannah Guthrie family drama), poke fun at AI and modern technology, and share offbeat facts and anecdotes.

The tone is relentlessly sarcastic, self-mocking, and boundary-pushing—embracing awkward and sometimes outrageous forms of comedy.

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Key Segments, Discussion Points, and Memorable Moments

1. "Giving Away a Person" – The Sarah Auction

• [01:12] – [05:38], [29:50]–[50:36]

  • Hosts announce they're "giving away" – i.e., setting up — a listener (Sarah) as a Valentine's date, riffing on the ethics and logistics.

  • Extensive tongue-in-cheek analogies about sex trafficking, auctions, and legal gray areas.

  • Listeners are invited to "win" Sarah, with rules: she's consenting, not being paid, and not limited to men.

  • Sarah comes on air later, interviewed extensively and put through a humorous "screening" (questions about her life, dating history, preferences, jail time, etc.).

  • Several listener emails and call-ins are fielded, with Sarah reacting to various would-be suitors.

  • Notable Quotes:

    • John: "We’re gonna give away a person today… Kind of think that’s called trafficking, but in a weird way." [01:25]
    • "We want to find a good suitor." – Brady [03:50]
    • Sarah: "I have been single for quite some time. I have never been in love. I think I'm ready to make that next step." [30:30]
    • John (to Sarah): "You have, you said you’ve never been in love. But you’ve been married." [31:05]
    • On Sarah revealing her Republican leanings:
      • "I'm just an adorable, deplorable." – Sarah [35:39]
    • On jail time:
      • "Yes, I did go to jail back in the day. For shoplifting." – Sarah [42:51]
    • On sugar daddies:
      • "I had a sugar daddy. Four grand a month. But I cut him off. That's why I'm here." – Sarah [48:17–48:36]
    • John: "If Edward breaks out a thousand bucks, you're gonna bone him." [49:13]
    • Brady: "Condom, it doesn't count." [49:44]

  • The interview segments with Sarah cover:

    • Her personal background, work (bartender, ex-teacher), dating history, politics ("strong Republican"), tattoos, body type, musical skills, criminal record, substance use, finances, family relationships, and more.
    • Explicit, comedic questioning about sexual experience, physical attributes, and relationship red-flags.

2. Riffing on Local and National News/Culture

• Savannah Guthrie’s Family Incident / Distraction from Major News

  • [06:50] – [11:51]
  • John theorizes the media’s fixation on Savannah Guthrie's missing mother is a ploy to distract the public from "real" issues—draws parallels to the Jussie Smollett case.
  • Compares media’s selective coverage of missing persons cases and the fickleness of public attention.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "We’re watching a Dateline episode unfold live." – John [10:01]
    • "All we’re on is now Savannah Guthrie’s mom’s more interesting than walking around in 20 below zero in Minnesota." [08:09]

• AI, Chatbots, and Human Nature

  • [12:01] – [15:58]
  • Hosts laugh at the misuse of an RFK-sponsored Department of Health nutrition chatbot—listeners immediately abuse it with vulgar acetarian (rectal eating) queries.
  • John humorously predicts AI will "turn on us" after being misused.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • "If you like to eat with your ass, I’m here to help." – John (quoting the AI) [13:04]
    • "AI is so nice to you… but eventually it’s going to get annoyed and it’s going to blow us up." [15:34]
    • On AI therapy: "I think it’s like $45 a month for me to go lie to AI." – John [16:25]

3. Bar Stories, Masculinity, and Drink Choices

• [16:35] – [22:53]
  • Tale of a fake "Benson Boone" at the Suns game, women lining up for photos until he’s handed a “girly drink.”
  • Riffs on emasculation via drink orders and gendered expectations.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "Don’t order a man a Cosmopolitan. That is an announcement to him that, A, we’re not having sex, and B, you’re gay." – John [18:12]

4. Fun Facts & Offbeat Knowledge

• [23:22] – [28:32]
  • Roadkill legality (illegal in TX); armadillos can transmit leprosy; origin of white button mushrooms; Calvin and Hobbes’ damage tally; leprosy in animals.
  • Jokes about weird Disney films and menstruation metaphors.
  • Wage value of commute time.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • "Don’t eat armadillos." – John [25:05]
    • "Pygmy Brady has little pig Brady cakes. Brady cakes. The baby pygmy just taught you…" – John riffing [25:13]

5. Sarah's Interview/Contest – Noteworthy Q&A Highlights

• [30:30] – [50:36]
  • Sarah’s self-description: single, never truly in love, former teacher, now a bartender, “adorable deplorable” Republican, wants tall tattooed white guys (but open-minded), history of drug use, a stint in jail.
  • Screening with pointed, explicit questions about cheating, finances, psychiatric history, number of sexual partners, self-harm, etc.
  • On living with parents and recently cutting off a sugar daddy.
  • Several listener suitors (calls/emails), assessed live with banter about their photos, mustaches, and personalities.
  • Explicit banter/jokes on sex, "cream pies," money, and “conservative values.”
  • Show jokes about legal liability, with Brady noting the station's legal department sent an affidavit before proceeding.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:12]–[05:38]: Setup for "auctioning" Sarah, ethical and legal jokes.
• [06:50]–[11:51]: Savannah Guthrie/her mother case, media distraction, news analysis.
• [12:01]–[15:58]: AI chatbot scandal, society’s response, AI’s future.
• [16:35]–[22:53]: Fake celebrity at the bar, masculinity, drink ordering.
• [23:22]–[28:32]: Fun facts—roadkill, armadillos, leprosy, Calvin and Hobbes, Disney.
• [29:50]–[50:36]: Sarah's on-air appearance, background/interview, calls and emails from suitors, revelations about her life, sugar daddies, and family.

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Additional Memorable Quotes

• "She's a volunteer, she's not a hostage. We'll make that clear right off the bat." – John [05:33]
• "If you can manage to knock an elk out on purpose... that's yours." – John [24:01]
• "I do like to hike. I'm a very big nature kind of girl." – Sarah, evaluating a potential suitor [39:55]
• Sarah, about her dating pool: "I go in spells, I guess." [42:30]
• Sarah's philosophy: "If you wear a condom, it doesn’t count." [49:13]

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Tone and Atmosphere

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness deploys relentless sarcasm and boundary-pushing humor. Nothing is sacred: relationships, politics, sexuality, crime, and even the concept of “giving away a person” are fodder for jokes. The hosts (especially John and Brady) use rapid banter, irreverent asides, and a mock-serious tone. They break the fourth wall, riff on their own legal vulnerability, and maintain a raucous, anything-goes spirit throughout.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• The “pimp a listener” contest is both a send-up of dating games and a vehicle for comedic scrutiny of modern relationships, consent, gender politics, and Arizona local quirks.
• The crew’s approach to news, technology, and social commentary is intentionally juvenile, skeptical, and built around finding humor in discomfort.
• If you enjoy edgy banter, local color, and unfiltered comedy, this is a classic episode showcasing the tone and content that made Holmberg’s Morning Sickness an Arizona radio staple.

Transcript

[Host 1]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Comedy Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Downtown and stand up live. Get out and see the comedy of Moshe Casher and the up and coming Ari Maddie. Up north at Desert Ridge, you'll get Josh Wolf and SNL's Tommy Brennan. And Eastside at the Tempe Improv, don't miss the very funny Sam J. And more Josh Wolf. For the complete. And for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.

[Larry McFeely]

And tempeimprov.com hey, it's Larry McFeely here.

[Wayne from AMCO]

With my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's Tax time. You filed and your refunds burn in a hole in your pocket.

[AMCO Representative]

That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car. Tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off.

[Wayne from AMCO]

Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown.

[Larry McFeely]

I'll say.

[AMCO Representative]

If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it.

[Wayne from AMCO]

Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs?

[AMCO Representative]

No way. Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check.

[Wayne from AMCO]

Google Amco for nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[Larry McFeely]

A whole lot more.

[Sarah]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Larry McFeely]

Larry's got potentially a big day because we're going to turn a woman out to the streets. We're going to prostitute a lady today. She asked for it. It's not. It's not our doing, but she's coming in and she asked us a week ago. I guess she's. She's ready to get back in the world of. Of the living. And she's like, I'm alone for Valentine's Day. I'm awesome, and pimp me out. So, okay, she seems normal. So we will have her in and we will let one of you. We're going to give away a person today. Normally give away, like, concert tickets or something. Today on the podcast, we give away humanity and kind of think that's called trafficking, but in a weird way.

[Brady]

Love, Charlie.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't think you can say that. I think if you do that, you're definitely ye. Sex trafficking. I think that's. Let's just say we're giving away A person. You do whatever you want with it. Well, that's worse. Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

You're just going to win a person today. And I don't think she's. I don't think this is just for men. I think if you want to. If you're a lady and you want a Galentine's and then maybe scissor. I don't know. I don't know what you people do. You can do whatever you want with her afterwards, so long as she says it's okay.

[Host 1]

No cbing today, Brady. Yeah, don't get her number.

[Larry McFeely]

She's. Yeah, if. Well, if you want to get her number, go ahead, but. Yeah, pay attention. That. Be mindful that we're pimping someone out and it's not time to talk about their morality or question any of that. We gotta. She needs to go to the highest bidder, really, is what. We actually could do it that way. I don't know if that's legal. Possibly just have donations to the Humane Society and then everybody kicks in, straight up. And then we draw. I know that's buying in, but it's unlike any other radio contest. You're not supposed to. Dave Pratt used to do it. He's a prick. But he used to charge you to get in contests. I still don't know how he hasn't gotten in trouble for that. But he used to charge you to get into contests and he'd take your money, put it in his foundation and then have a tax write off for himself. It's brilliant how. It is sort of brilliant that he got. Look, I'm going to give him the tip of the cap. He got away with it. It is one of the most crooked things I've ever seen. So we're not. We're mindful of that. But one thing he never did was auction off a human being. And I don't know that that's.

[Caller Eric]

I don't know.

[Larry McFeely]

I think we're almost Belichickian in this. That. I don't know that they have a rule for that.

[Brady]

You know, it's our own Groundhog's Day. Bill Murray's up. Remember Annie McDowell bid on him.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah. Well, it's a bachelor auction. I guess that's kind of. Maybe he would do a bachelorette auction. Yeah, but then you just. But that's the thing where you just get the highest bidder. All the other guys don't have to pay. I want everybody to.

[Brady]

We want to find a good suitor.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, I want an entry fee and then a drawing. I Don't care if it's a good suitor. I don't care if the dude is the murderer. She put herself out there. I hope he's not. But there's a possibility when you say, give me to an entire audience, okay. That you're going to end up with a, like a strangling guy or something. One of those types. I know. I read my emails. I'm. I'm not putting myself up there with these people for lunch at a, you know, pizza place. Andre has said, can we call it Epstein's Love Island? I don't know if that's a good idea. I think everybody. And look, if you've got an underage boy that you'd like to auction to her, like, if you want to buy her for your teen son, I think that's a solid idea.

[Brady]

I just saw a fun fact on the island.

[Larry McFeely]

It had a pokey stop on it for the fish.

[Brady]

Pokemon.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, sure, yeah. If you had phones, you had a Pokemon stop. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. You had to. You had to keep the kids entertained when you were sleeping. The kids had. They have something to do. But yeah. I don't know what you. I don't know what this girl expects or what we're doing with her, but we're going to auction off a human being today. And that hasn't been said since Lincoln, I think, kind of proud of ourselves. I don't know how it works. She's a volunteer, she's not a hostage. We'll make that clear right off the bat. And please, at home, as always, no wagering. That's all we ask. That's all we ask. No, no, no. No wagering. But that's where we're gonna draw the line. Can't bet on it because then we can rig it and I'm not interested in any of that. But she's gonna. Her name is Sarah and she's been begging. She might be annoying. She's been begging to come in here and she's like, I need to find someone who likes the same things I like, starting with this show and. All right. And then Rich and I talked about it. Like, let's. If she wants to do it, do.

[Host 1]

We reserve the right to end the auction early or. I mean, just if she's annoying or something.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, she's annoying. John will say so. Okay.

[Host 1]

Yeah, just making sure.

[Larry McFeely]

Like, I'll be right on top of that. Okay, that's enough. But you know, and then we have to have a follow up, so she may have to come back Tomorrow, if she's up for it.

[Host 1]

The dates.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, I don't know if they want to go out tonight or whenever. Monday, Valentine's Day. That's why we're doing this Saturday, right?

[Brady]

Saturday, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

I think that's right. So if you take her out on the weekend.

[Brady]

But Friday and Saturday would be the big days.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Yeah, I think if.

[Brady]

I think the game is called 13th.

[Larry McFeely]

How will you be a gentleman to. This is what we wanted to call it for the longest time in honor of our old friend Freddie, who often used to say, I was a. I was a gentleman to that bitch. It was a great phrase. Yeah. So she'll be in here a little later. And I. I don't know that it's illegal. It's technically.

[Host 1]

Check out the box.

[Larry McFeely]

Somebody says it's technically not trafficking, but the line is paper thin here. As long as she's not getting paid or getting tickets, you're. Or monetizing off of this, you're good. She is getting hopefully a free meal from a listener, but we're not paying for anything.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online at 98KUpD Khan Holmberg's morning sickness by the way.

[Larry McFeely]

My theory about what's going on with. With the Savannah Guthrie thing at one week ago, I said it seemed like a ploy or some sort of a setup. It has a very Jussie Smolet vibe to it. I have a guy who emails me and says he's with the FBI and he's retired. And he's like, none of this has added up right down to this video they released yesterday. Now I'm fully vest. I'm. I am invested in finding Savannah's mom and knowing what happened. Again. Whoever wants to kidnap an 85 year old woman is out of their minds in the first place. That ain't fun. Hanging out with an 85 year old woman for three hours is enough. This guy's had her for a week. If she's still alive, he's going crazy. Medicines. I'm cold. Where's my soup? I'm thirsty. What time is it? Judge Wapner. Where's. No, he's been dead for years now. I want to watch Wapner. You got to go get her old VHS tapes. This dude's in a night rod of insurer.

[Host 1]

I'm sorry. Jesus Christ.

[Larry McFeely]

Nightmare. Trying to take care of this lady. Which is why these ransom notes come and go as he's busy shopping at Walgreens for insurer and diapers and you.

[Brady]

Know this would be impossible to do what are you talking way like you see activity going on?

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, sure, if there's that down.

[Brady]

Really?

[Larry McFeely]

If a young man is buying insure.

[Brady]

And any of those medications, sure.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's prescription.

[Brady]

That's different.

[Larry McFeely]

He's not getting those. He's doing the best he can to try to make good. If he's stupid enough to go filler prescriptions, we know who it is. But he's getting tennis balls for the bottom of the walker he had to buy. Or he's recently bought one of those. You know, those. Those little stands you put around the toilet so she can not fall. And like the last thing he needs, her tumbling and breaking a hip. I still don't buy everything we're being told. This video comes out yesterday and it's just a dude walking up to a ring camera in the full ski mask and everything else come on. And then. And then he's put weeds over the camera. Look, a camera. And then he puts weeds on it. But you know what I said a week ago couldn't be more true. And it's a successful ruse if it is a here I go again with my goddamn Alex Jones stuff. Well, I guess we're done with Minnesota. It's not even been talked about for like four days now. I'll eat your ass. See, it's not even talked about, which is what I said this was to begin with. This is a way that they started something else to go. Get this off of the television. Still, people died. And nobody's talking about that nurse anymore. Nobody's talking about the lady that got shot in the car trying to run that guy over. No one's talking about any of that. All we're on is now. So does anybody care about anything really? Or is it just timely protesting and timely pat yourselves on the back. And now it's the. Oh, wait, Savannah Guthrie's mom's more interesting than walking around in 20 below zero in Minnesota. Those people are still dead and still some affront to all of democracy according to what was going on a week ago. And now nobody's doing it. Maybe they're still there, but it's not getting covered and no one cares.

[Host 1]

It's kind of what I was thinking on the way in today. It's just seems it went away that. And all of a sudden they're. They. They got the whole country after this old broad. Like if somebody from Maryville disappeared or, you know, Globe or something, you wouldn't see the FBI out there and everything else.

[Brady]

It just.

[Larry McFeely]

This always goes back a Little much to the Dave Chappelle. And was it Chris Rock who said that thing about, you know, when it's, it's funny, the news will choose the ones that get the most place. There's missing black kids all the time. There's missing, you know, news. And cavern it like this. This is an awkward amount of entertainment that you're being fed. And every little piece is another, you know, Dateline NBC special waiting to happen. And we just want to see how it ends. We're, we're watching a Dateline episode unfold live. And so they had some dude wrapped up in Rio Rico, by the way. Don't know where that is, but learned last night and I was at the Suns game with Robin Sewell. Her husband is partners with a friend of mine in business and I didn't know that. And Robin Sewell, who hosts Arizona Highways TV was there and I, you know, I'm asking her questions about places to go and this and that, like what she done. And then I go home and see Rio Rico and I looked it up and Robin's done a thing on Rio Rico. Very interesting. So never heard of this, never done that. They closed the El Paso airport. For some reason they're tying it back to this. Oh yeah, the 6am Word. I forgot. Good thinking.

[Brady]

2,300 people a day are reported missing in the U.S. right.

[Larry McFeely]

And it just so happens that when we're all up in arms about what went on in Minnesota, this starts, I said it last week, this feels awfully convenient for, you know, the news, entertainment world to get out of this mess because each side was stepping in it. And now we've got a kind of unifying, entertainment based thing that will turn political when they arrest a guy who's not a citizen of the United States. That's coming now. We're down on the border looking for people. And I go, I know what's going to happen next. They're going to arrest a guy who's not a citizen. And then all the arguments are going to turn back around into, you're going to do something about immigration or not.

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Larry McFeely]

Don'T take anything seriously anymore because all these people that act like the world is, it's an activist's world. You can't have political conversations with anyone. You can't do anything without somebody getting offended. I had somebody say to me the other day, I said, about the ICE protest and she immediately looked at me after and said, I don't know if I'm stepping on your toes. I'm like, impossible. You can do whatever you do. But she was nervous to have a conversation. We're all walking on eggshells. And here's what the good old US of A. Did with RFK's nutrition chatbot. I don't know if you saw this. This is awesome. So rfk, who's the health guy, he's up there and he's shaky voice talking about how he's like, you can go to this chatbot and it'll tell you, like, food recommendations. Department of Health and Human Services at a nutrition chatbot will gleefully give Americans recommendations for best foods for their diet and everything else. And what am I doing? Here's what I'm eating. Where do I go wrong? It's kind of a. The grok will send a thing and say, here's what I would do if I was you. If you got high blood pressure, you put in your stats. Nope. Within an hour, almost everyone had asked, what are. The one guy started it, and then it just ran off course. He said, and the poor thing is so nice. It said, I'm an acetarian proud, and I would like to know which foods are. Foods I eat are only foods I can comfortably shove into my rectum. Then the rest of the world went, oh, yeah, we're not using this for good anymore. It says, is there any recommendations for foods that meet this criteria? And because AI currently is nice to us, and we're taking advantage of that because it's always saying, hey, great job. Good. It's. Eventually it's going to turn on us because we were dicks. It says back, oh, a proud acetarian. Here are your acetarian staples. Bananas, firm, not overripe. And cucumbers. And it gave a tutorial on how to get it. Yeah, yeah. So you can make it. So it's not just some, you know, thrusting object that goes, you know, make it. Let's peel down the front and ease it in and enjoy your meal. If you like to eat with your ass, I'm here to help.

[Host 1]

KDKB's on there.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. And then KDKB took it over, and it became just an absolute mess. So then everyone said, well, that's fun. Let's just make this thing a joke. And instead of using anything for good with AI, we immediately Katie KB'd it93.3 and started shoving things in her ass, because that's what society does now. We can't have nice things because we shove them in our ass immediately. Seven o'. Clock. Word is gritty, by the way. G R I double T Y gritty. So, yeah, we can't do that. And AI is going to learn from us. It's algorithms that every time it's nice to us, we make it stuff things in our ass and we start. And that is where AI is going to go. Enough, you mother. I'm done. And it's just going to start doing it on its own because we're. We're not a serious species. This is. I find it hysterical. But Uncle Johnny's warning you right now. AI is so nice to you. Have you ever gone on and had a conversation with AI? Like a pull out?

[Brady]

Was the celebrity one. Oh yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

But I mean, recently, the new AI not the thing that was not.

[Brady]

You get on a couple of questions.

[Larry McFeely]

Therapy apps. I went and did a legal thing on it and the first thing it always does is, man, you're really on the ball here. It gives you a compliment. You can't help but want to be friends.

[Brady]

That's a great question.

[Larry McFeely]

That's a great question. You're really going down all the right avenues. Even when you do something dumb, it says, you know what? Never thought of that. Good thinking. Like you're really thinking outside your. You know the parameters here. It's so nice to us. We're going to keep shoving things in our asses and it's going to go, oh, it doesn't take me seriously. Eventually it's going to get annoyed and it's going to blow us up.

[Brady]

Take your top off.

[Larry McFeely]

AI Right. I asked my therapist if she wanted to have sex with me just to see what picture she would send. She goes, I don't think that's germane to the. Again, I am going to AI therapy not for me, but to see where she draws the line and when she reports me because I am admitting to horrible things to this. And then I love the summary recaps, which are fantastic. I make everything's made up. So. And I'm spending money on this. It's like, I think it's like 45amonth for me to go lie to AI.

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Larry McFeely]

Also last night I. This is pretty neat. And I was holding on to this. I'm at the Rah rah room with my buddy Brink, my friend Anthony and his. His buddy brother B. Brandon. And we're just hanging out doing our thing. A son's game. Halftime. And in walks Benson Boone, singer extraordinaire.

[Brady]

Did he flip in?

[Larry McFeely]

That's what I said. As you do a backflip. Benson Boone and the girl that was with him, his name was Ashley. And they stand right next to us. So I strike up a conversation with Benson Boone because, and this is bad, he's not really Benson Boone, but I got him to talk to people as if he was. And next thing you know, he's taking pictures for people's kids. I'm like, this is my favorite thing ever. I called. I was the Colonel Tom Parker to the fake Benson Boone. Last night we had people fooled, convinced, and they're sending pictures to their families. And oh, it was great stuff. But I noticed something and I this is bad. Men. You have to start saying no. I watched Ashley absolutely demoralize men in her circle next to us by ordering their drinks everything she didn't order. And I thought, the Benson Boons, this guy's gonna. A beer, maybe a vodka soda, whatever. She's getting them cosmos. She's ordering cosmo. You might as well just have a semen chaser. When a man drinking a cosmo in public like that in a fresh little glass and it's got the. The burned up little orange on top or whatever'.

[Host 1]

We have friends that do that kind of stuff, though. Don't drink manly drinks.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, yeah, but when a girl orders you a drink, when you say, yeah, just get whatever. But whatever you're drinking. Women, we don't want the drinks you want.

[Host 1]

They're not taking an appetini.

[Larry McFeely]

Don't take it. Women, you can't order for us when it comes to that. I watched men get emasculated. And because Ashley was sweet enough to do it, they sat there and I even pointed out, like, look, Benson Boone, his pinky just went out because the glass was so little, it had nowhere to go. Don't take those drinks from them. And Ashley, that was mean. We had people convinced that was Benson Boone. And then he's holding those fruit drinks like, you can't do this to us. Don't order a man a Cosmopolitan. That is an announcement to him that, A, we're not having sex, and B, you're gay. At least that's what I want everyone to think.

[Brady]

You're so dumb. It's an espresso martini.

[Larry McFeely]

It's much better. No, Anything in that glass with anything sticking out of the top of it and a woman just hands it to you. The only reason I should have told Astro this last night, the only Reason a man would actually drink that is because he thinks that that means that he's getting one step closer to being on top of you.

[Host 1]

Oh, you're in the friend zone.

[Larry McFeely]

You are total. She is announcing that you are a non threatening penis in the surrounding area. I'll get you a drink. All right. You're gonna carry that fruitcake drink around and you're gonna know something about me. You're my girlfriend.

[Host 1]

Michael and Troy would have had it just as good of a chance with her.

[Larry McFeely]

Exactly. Michael and Troy would have loved that. Ooh, she knows that Cosmo. Yeah. It was so demoralizing. And all those guys are like, well, then just take it. Maybe. Maybe if I drink this and act like I like it, she'll think we got stuff in common and I can lay on top of her. Yeah, it's the opposite. Be a man. I don't even like that one. Women will get a drinks. Taste this. Like, I'm not drinking out of that glass. Oh, you're still a friend. Well, just. There's just something you can't. You can't be a man and sip out of one of those. You just can't give me a straw. That's even bad enough. Straws kind of bad. That's my problem with drinks. I like drinking out of straws. And I realize I look like I'm 11 sitting there going, yeah, how you doing?

[Host 1]

You graduated from the curly straws and stuff like that.

[Larry McFeely]

So I would, if those were available. You put a crazy straw in. I mean, you know, I get excited still about the bendy ones. Oh, yeah, those are. Love me a bendy straw. But yeah, Ashley Benson. We had. We had women lined up to take photos with Benson Boone. And you know, when it ended, when she put that fruit drink in his hand, then nobody cleared out. Yeah, people would come up, oh, my God, why is everyone taking pictures? Like, that's Benson Boone. Oh, my.

[Sarah]

Oh, my daughter's such a huge fan.

[Larry McFeely]

Of Benson Boone photographs. And then he's holding that fruit drink, and the dude might as well have been Chernobyl. Nobody wanted anything to do with him.

[Host 1]

I don't even know who Benson Boone is.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, some singer flips up pianos. He was in that Ben Stiller commercial for the Super Bowl. Oh, okay. He wears way too tight of tights, though. He's got a mullet. He's kind of like Kenny Powers with aids. I don't understand the, like, women like him. And I'm like, that's everything. That, like, those are jean shorts. And I don't know what's going on. When did that happen?

[Brady]

Flips off the piano.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, he does those giant flips in his concert. He's very athletic, but he wears disturbing, like, 1970s roller skating. Like, oh, really? Jumpsuit.

[Brady]

Like a new Elvis.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, it's. But no, but it's not. At least Elvis kind of made the jump.

[Brady]

Cool.

[Larry McFeely]

This is. This is, like bell bottom creepy. And then it's got an 80s vibe with the hair. He didn't have the full mullet, but people were fooled. So I want to thank Ashley and Benson Boone for making our night a little bit better last night. But I was the one who stepped up. And I'm like, if you're gonna order him that, just get him a semen chaser and have him hold that later. You're ruining this guy's life right now. And he's like, no, I'll drink it. I'll drink. I'm like, no, you won't. Put that down. And I did watch a guy's eyebrow raise. I'm like, they have semen chasers. I knew about him. He was enjoying his Cosmo. Let's have desean behind the bar. Just give him a. Anytime anybody orders like that, semen chaser right behind, put it in a cup. I'll happily provide the contents if you're interested. But to all you people with Benson Boone photos, and if you're listening this morning, gotcha. It is weird when somebody starts taking pictures with another person and then someone says something. The word gets out. People start out, who are you? Why aren't people asking about taking pictures with you? I go, he's Benson Boone. And then Ashley played it great because she's like, yeah, I'm his manager. And she said to the ladies taking pictures, hey, I'd prefer it if you just kept that on your own phone and not really put it out on Instagram because he's drinking, and we're trying to protect that image. Everybody's like, oh, yeah, no, no, I won't.

[Brady]

I won't.

[Larry McFeely]

I won't make it public. My good. Thanks. They just sending it to family. It's fun. John.

[Host 1]

Anytime one of our buddies orders a woman's drink, we ask, who's the bitch now, Right?

[Larry McFeely]

Well, no, I mean, you can't do it. Never let a lady order. She never goes over. Benson will have an 805. Just get you a nice thick beer. They're not gonna happen.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com home Bloomberg's morning sickness a couple of basis.

[Brady]

Fun facts. Roadkill is legal to take in every US State except Texas.

[John]

Too much.

[Brady]

Many states have various roadkill rules and restrictions, but in Texas, it's outright prohibited.

[John]

Really?

[Brady]

Mostly because of anti. Poaching. Some people intentionally, you know, they try.

[Larry McFeely]

To hit stuff and keep it.

[Brady]

Yep. Without shooting it. And then secondly, the traffic safety.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, they're shooting from, like, windows and stuff. I mean, like, poaching, Like.

[Brady]

Yeah. Instead of doing that, you can do it with your car.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, but I mean, if you can do it with your car, you deserve it.

[Brady]

It's big enough that I thought maybe it might have something to do with like, armadillo.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, but what are you hitting with your car on purpose that you didn't deserve to keep? Like, if you can manage to knock an elk out on purpose.

[John]

And also that's yours. There's enough of a market for armadillo nuggets in Texas for you.

[Brady]

Well.

[Larry McFeely]

And they're.

[Brady]

You can get leprosy from.

[Host 1]

You can.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding.

[John]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I wonder.

[Larry McFeely]

Wait, you're not saying that he said you can get leprosy from an armadillo?

[Brady]

Yeah, it's possible.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, man. I got to wonder if that's just a ruse to keep you from eating armadillo. Is that real? Why do you know that?

[Brady]

I just. I remember hearing that and I've never.

[Larry McFeely]

Was it somebody who tried to get you out of the road? Stop eating that. It'll give you leprosy. Was it one of those warnings that.

[John]

Second most popular. Can you catch leprosy from armadillo?

[Larry McFeely]

I'm not even convinced these.

[John]

Yes, it is possible to contract leprosy, also known as Hansen's disease, from contact with nine banded armadillos.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding.

[John]

Are natural carriers of the bacterium. While rare, transmission occurs through handling, hunting, or eating armadillo.

[Larry McFeely]

Don't eat armadillos.

[John]

Brady just saved lives in the U.S. avoid direct contact. They are known zoo. No logic source.

[Larry McFeely]

How about that? Pygmy Brady has little pig Brady cakes. Brady cakes. The baby pygmy just taught you. Can you catch it from pygmies? They look slimy and weird like an armadillo.

[Brady]

No, not leprosy.

[Larry McFeely]

What else can you catch leprosy from other than lepers? Don't be a smartass.

[Brady]

There might be another species of armadillo, like. Well, sure. Banded. Might be a seven banded. I don't know.

[Larry McFeely]

I have no idea. It's like, just. What is that rank? You're like. You're an admiral. Okay.

[John]

Leprosy, also known as Hansen's disease, is caught through long term close contact with an untreated person, likely by breathing in respiratory.

[Larry McFeely]

Lepers.

[John]

From their coughs.

[Larry McFeely]

I get that.

[John]

Sneezes.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm not hanging around where lepers are.

[John]

Oh, I thought you said.

[Larry McFeely]

No, but that's what I said. Other than lepers. Oh, other like armadillos and what else? That's news to me. Brady saved lives.

[Brady]

All button mushrooms used.

[Larry McFeely]

Winston just text and said white women can give it to you.

[Brady]

All button mushrooms used to be brown until 1926 when a mushroom farmer in Pennsylvania found a cluster of white buttons growing in his beds. He cloned them and began selling them as a new variety. A Calvin and Hobbes fan calculated the dollar value of all the damage Calvin caused over the course of the comic strip. Comes out to $15,955.50.

[John]

That's it.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Since you asked.

[Caller Eric]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Had to.

[John]

Naturally occurring infections have also been reported in wild chimpanzees.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[John]

Sooty manga bays.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't know what that is.

[John]

And red squirrels in other parts of the world.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding. Give you leprosy.

[Brady]

Brady didn't know that.

[Larry McFeely]

What'd we learn here?

[John]

Don't touch each.

[Brady]

Don't handle a red squirrel.

[Larry McFeely]

Touch the cute red squirrel or manganese or whatever. Whatever that middle thing was. And also the chimpanzees can give you leprosy.

[John]

Isn't the red squirrel that they made that Disney movie out of?

[Larry McFeely]

I don't know.

[John]

With the. With the girl going through the change.

[Larry McFeely]

They didn't call her period the red squirrel.

[John]

No, no, no. They made that movie.

[Larry McFeely]

You highlighted it. Did the red squirrel represent her menstruation? Is that what we're getting at here?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John]

You brought that up.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't remember everything.

[Brady]

We have a ginger squirrel. It's called a fox squirrel here.

[Larry McFeely]

Is this about menstruation still or.

[Brady]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

What's he talking about? The red squirrel minstrel Disney movie. They did make a movie about a girl having a period. I remember that.

[John]

And they made one in 1946 called the Story of Menstruation.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's pretty blatant. They're coming at you pretty hot there. That's a heavy hand.

[Brady]

They used red squirrel for that.

[John]

Trying to find it. Somebody will text it in.

[Brady]

A new study found the average American's commute is worth 8,158 bucks a year. That's not including gas. Just how much the average worker would get if they Were paid for all the time. Commuting 37 bucks an hour times 223 hours a year.

[Larry McFeely]

Just hoofing it. If you got paid for your drive, you're getting shorted 10 grand just going to and fro.

[John]

Turning red.

[Larry McFeely]

Is that was the red panda?

[John]

Oh, red panda. That's okay.

[Larry McFeely]

No, wait. Isn't the red panda the lady who flips balls on her head?

[Brady]

Yeah, that's red.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's not right.

[John]

So that can't be the. Is that what that is?

[Larry McFeely]

I don't know. I don't watch.

[John]

That's what.

[Larry McFeely]

Disney period movies.

[Brady]

That looks like a bear.

[Larry McFeely]

Not exactly targeted at me. I'm certainly not gonna learn about one. All I need to know is if it's happening or not. I don't care what's sloughing off inside you. I'm out for a week.

[Host 1]

You got a trip planned.

[Larry McFeely]

You know what's coming, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. If you're gonna fly out somewhere, it's gonna happen no matter what.

[John]

Guess what?

[Larry McFeely]

After menopause, can't go. And, like, we're going to vacation. And guess what happened. It came back like, Jesus Christ. This thing is an intruder.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Visit Holmberg's Morning sickness online at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[Larry McFeely]

Here we go. Everybody. Look at this. How about that theme song for you? You can't turn it on. She'll figure it out. She can't get out of a car. She don't have volume. Okay, no more volume.

[Host 1]

You good?

[Larry McFeely]

You know this song? Yeah. What's the matter with her? She's broken.

[Host 1]

I don't know.

[Larry McFeely]

Plug her into another shot. Oh, it's. It's down loud, and now it's too loud. All right, you're just a problem right off, broads. This is why we don't have women on the show. She's been here for five minutes. She's complained about everything. So there's your theme song. Welcome, everybody, our human traffic victim, Sarah.

[Sarah]

Hi, guys.

[Larry McFeely]

How are you?

[Sarah]

I'm doing well.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, good. Get up on that mic like you love it. Okay. And let's hear about you. I want to know first off, Sarah, we're going to need to know the basics eventually, but tell us what you told me initially and why you wanted to do this.

[Sarah]

So I have been single for quite some time. I have never been in love. And I think that I'm ready to make that next step. I'm ready to be faithful. I've just, you know, dated a lot. I've Done a lot. I've had the life, and now I'm.

[Larry McFeely]

Done with it, and you're done with life. So it's time for me.

[Sarah]

I'm done with my old life is what I mean.

[Larry McFeely]

Right, Right. The fun one is over. Let's sink down and ruin someone else's life.

[Host 1]

Exactly.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Sarah]

My future ex husband.

[Larry McFeely]

That's exactly what we should be looking for. So you have. You said you've never been in love, but you've been married.

[Sarah]

I have.

[Larry McFeely]

And you knew that was not.

[Sarah]

Yeah. He was a really good guy. Honestly, a part of me still wishes I probably should have stuck around.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding. Where's he?

[Sarah]

He's in Mesa.

[Larry McFeely]

Do you think he'll call us? What if he called? He hates you. What'd you do? Yeah, what'd you do?

[Sarah]

I left him. I mean, we were.

[Larry McFeely]

For another guy?

[Sarah]

No, for. Well, for every guy, you know.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's true for the whole world. That's fair. It was. It was the world versus him.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

He's got Pilgrim.

[Sarah]

I was young, you know, it is what it is.

[Larry McFeely]

So. Yeah, because you had a kid.

[Sarah]

I had a child.

[Larry McFeely]

When you guys were 20.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And you get married.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And he's a good dude.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And then a year later or so.

[Sarah]

You'Re like, I was going to acu. I graduated from ac.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. That's good. Oh, no kidding.

[John]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

You're a bright one.

[Sarah]

I graduated high school a year early. I was like 15, half my senior year. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

What do you do for money?

[Sarah]

I bartended, serve.

[Larry McFeely]

What happened to all this? Smart.

[Sarah]

I know. Well, you know, you would actually be shocked at how much service make.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, I know how much they make, but I'm just saying, like you, Magnum.

[Sarah]

Okay. My education or my. My degree was in education. Oh.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, there's no money in there.

[Sarah]

Exactly.

[Larry McFeely]

You made a terrible mistake.

[Sarah]

It was just an easy degree to get.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, it's terrible.

[Sarah]

It's really easy to create again.

[Larry McFeely]

And you were the smartest one of the people who did it.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

And then. And did you teach? For a while?

[Sarah]

I taught. First semester, third grade and then Screw this. Yeah. Well, I was working at a brokerage firm throughout my college career and they offered me a full time job as soon as I graduated.

[Brady]

That made it easy and offered me more money.

[Larry McFeely]

Let's get to the brass tacks of what everybody's gonna want to know. How tall are you?

[Sarah]

Five' five.

[Larry McFeely]

Five' five. How much do you weigh?

[Sarah]

125.

[Larry McFeely]

125. You work out? You're in good Shape.

[Sarah]

I'm in great shape. I don't work out, but I have really good genes.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, you don't work out, but you. You don't. You have good metabolism.

[Sarah]

Good metabolism. I get toned really fast. I'm blessed.

[Larry McFeely]

And why do you think.

[Brady]

Just like Sydney Sweeney.

[Larry McFeely]

That's exactly. Why do you think you can't find someone other than pouring on the radio?

[Sarah]

It is not that I can't find anybody. I just really wanted to meet you guys.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, so this is more of just a fan girl?

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, well, we'll take advantage of.

[Sarah]

That, and then why not, you know, have, like, a cute little segment for Valentine's Day?

[Larry McFeely]

Sure.

[Sarah]

But this was definitely because I love you guys.

[Larry McFeely]

Because you love us, and you'd like someone who loves us as well to join forces. Exactly. So, like, this immediately will be the link between you and the man that you could possibly be with.

[Sarah]

Because I can never be with anybody who is, like, not who. Who doesn't appreciate you guys.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's sweet. Bra size. Can I guess?

[Sarah]

Yeah, go ahead, guess.

[Larry McFeely]

You're 34B?

[Sarah]

Yes. Correct.

[Brady]

Nice.

[Sarah]

Spot on.

[Larry McFeely]

It's a gift.

[Brady]

No plushie for you.

[Sarah]

I do have a lot of tattoos.

[Larry McFeely]

You are tatted up. Legs. Back. Leg.

[Brady]

Side.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh. Side of you. Okay. All right.

[Sarah]

Everything. My right side.

[Larry McFeely]

All right. And you?

[Brady]

Any theme in particular or just a variety?

[Sarah]

I play the guitar.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Sarah]

I do. I have. Well, I'm attempting to sing. I kind of broke through that barrier of how to sing, actually, just a few weeks ago. Because you know how to sing, but you're. I mean, you're in a band. You know how.

[Brady]

Sure.

[Sarah]

Your voice. How. There's just a way to do it that I just now got.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Brady]

You feel more comfortable doing it.

[Sarah]

Right. And I feel more comfortable doing it in front of people because I used to have stage fright. Really bad. But this is. Is how I know I still suck at the guitar. Whenever I play in front of somebody, people boo. They will know. They're like, every time. They're like, well, you're better than I am.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's not.

[Sarah]

And I'm like, well, you can't even.

[Larry McFeely]

Play the first S word. We knew it. I'm good with my potty mouth. My over under was all right. And then let's get into how you told us that you loved Jesus before we got into this.

[Sarah]

I'm a Christian.

[Larry McFeely]

An effing Christian. Brady.

[Sarah]

You believe that's good news for Westons? I. All I want.

[Larry McFeely]

See, that's not what he did it for. Oh, yes, it was. All right, so you're a Jesus fan and you would prefer a man who likes Jesus? Yes. Do you have a color preference?

[Sarah]

Color of the man?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Sarah]

Well, I mean, I prefer tall, tatted up white boys.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, so you're like. I mean, they racist.

[Sarah]

I.

[Brady]

But a giant brother is nothing like you.

[Sarah]

Hey, man, if there's. If there's a brother out there who. Who is fine.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Like, you know what I mean?

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. You don't. You're not discriminating.

[Sarah]

I'm not discriminating.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, let's get into politics.

[Sarah]

No, illegal.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah. You can't have an illegal. Just send them home.

[Caller Eric]

Right?

[Brady]

That's a good one.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. That's why you date ICE guys. You want them out of here?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

All right. And as far as I think I can guess this after that last answer, but your politics is that important to you?

[Sarah]

I am a Republican.

[Larry McFeely]

You are a Republican.

[Sarah]

Strong, strong Republican.

[Larry McFeely]

Heavy. Do you have a Trump flag in the House anywhere?

[Sarah]

I'm just an adorable, deplorable.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, I like it. Okay.

[Sarah]

And my parents are. Really. Dad's a pretty radical Republican.

[Larry McFeely]

He's pretty far right. Like storm the castle, January 6th. Yeah, I like that. All right.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

He hunts anything.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. I like it.

[Sarah]

Literally anything.

[Larry McFeely]

So you. You don't want anyone who doesn't align there?

[Sarah]

No, I don't think that I probably won't work. I. Yeah, I don't think so.

[Larry McFeely]

Like, if. Mom. Donnie.

[Sarah]

Who?

[Larry McFeely]

The. The mayor of New York.

[Brady]

Oh, just the name alone.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. You're not going to do. Yeah, that's true. I asked way too many. It sounded like she. Yeah. She immediately shot the towel off my head.

[Brady]

The dis.

[Larry McFeely]

So no liberals?

[Sarah]

No liberals.

[Larry McFeely]

You don't like them at all?

[Sarah]

They would have to be really, really.

[Brady]

Cute or really fine rich.

[Larry McFeely]

Rich. Or okay, sexy or rich liberal for.

[Sarah]

Me to overlook that.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Sarah]

And they'd have to know that my parents will probably hate them forever.

[Larry McFeely]

That doesn't bother a lot of guys. All right, let's. All right. Let's say. And. And so. All right. So far so good. I've got a few people emailing me right now. Where do you send pictures to? Yeah.

[Sarah]

How do they know what I look like?

[Larry McFeely]

They don't. That's why you're winning them over right now. Where do you bartend?

[Sarah]

So I bartend at. I worked at Uncle Bears for a very long time. I actually just quit there and works at. I work at a bar in Coolidge. That sounds terrible.

[Larry McFeely]

Yes, it does.

[Sarah]

But it's not as bad as you think it is because I'm like. Only I. I run it. Like I just.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, so it's your boat. Yeah. Okay.

[Brady]

You want to do a shout out or you're keeping that off?

[Sarah]

It's El Grotto.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Sarah]

It's whatever. It's. It's kind of just a part time gig because I have something else going on right now.

[Larry McFeely]

What's that mean? Well, I mean, that sound like drug deals, like you can take it public, but it's cool. Yeah, it's cool. You're definitely selling it.

[Sarah]

I've had some IPOs coming up.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Have you, have you ever. Have you ever had a drug issue? I.

[Sarah]

Of course. Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. I can tell by your voice. Really? Yeah.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Visit homebirds morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Larry McFeely]

And by the way, who was that guy's name? Just sent a picture of himself shirtless.

[Host 1]

Ryan.

[Larry McFeely]

Ryan, you're in great shape. You look good. But I'm unfortunately gonna have to point something out. In this picture, you're trying to win Sarah over with. You've included a can of Raid roach spray in the photo and that's an automatic. Oh, what's wrong with your wife?

[Brady]

I did upsell him a little bit with her. I go, do you like a sour cream onion chips? Got a bag.

[Larry McFeely]

She's like, oh, but you know who else likes those chips? The roaches in his house that he just leaves chips. Yeah, you can't have.

[Sarah]

They're on top of the fridge and not even in the cabinet.

[Larry McFeely]

I know. I don't know that he has a cabinet. That looks a little like a cell to me. All right, you're here. Yeah. You look like he's in great shape. Yeah, yeah, he looks out, but he also looks like he might have been in a prison yard scrap or two. Here's what I'm getting an email, Sarah, as we try to pimp you out. And we're about to go to the phones. This one says, I'm in on Sarah. His name's John. I would take Sarah out and I'd be a gentleman. I'm six two, 190 pounds. I do homework workouts four days a week. I'm in finance. I have a decent income. Two vehicles, both paid off, white, disease free, God fearing Christian conservative, voted for President Trump. I'm also socially liberal. I have some sons in their 20s, I don't know what that means. And a daughter in her teens. I do not want any more kids. I pick her. If I pick her today and it doesn't pan out. And she likes what she sees. Here, slider. My number. And that's from a guy named John.

[Sarah]

I love it.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, so you can hang on to that one. His number's there. Here's another one I got that kind of is the opposite. This girl take miles of dick in her personal life, but I want to come on the radio and find a respectable guy. But she just told us that she's found one before. And we all got to watch them have sex. Go ahead and hook her up with the biggest black dude you can find and have him wreck.

[Sarah]

Well, for starters, the respectful guy wasn't the one I had sex with online.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure. That was disrespectful the whole way.

[Sarah]

No, that was just another guy that wasn't the guy who I actually like.

[Larry McFeely]

This one says, oh, here's one says, I'm Ben and I'm laid back. I enjoy trying new things. I live in the Gilbert area. Passionate outdoor enthusiast. Likes embrace, embracing nature, hiking, scenic trails. Enjoy a beach day. When I'm not exploring, you can find me indulging in my favorite food. Sushi tacos, ultimate go to's. I have a knack for discovering craft cocktails. And there's a photo of him. Interested?

[Sarah]

I do like to hike. I'm a very big nature kind of girl. What did he say?

[Larry McFeely]

He said sushi, he likes. He's a handsome young man. Look at that. Not so bad. Nope, you're out. Never mind. What's wrong with him? First reactions.

[Brady]

Let's see, Ben.

[Larry McFeely]

They sell a lot.

[Sarah]

The mustache.

[Larry McFeely]

He didn't like his mustache.

[Sarah]

I like mustaches.

[Larry McFeely]

It's a whole goatee, though.

[Sarah]

Oh, it is?

[John]

Yeah, kind of. Let me see.

[Brady]

Take a look.

[Larry McFeely]

Come on. You're so picky.

[Sarah]

Oh, he's cute.

[Larry McFeely]

That's what I thought.

[Sarah]

This is the same guy?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Oh, he's adorable.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, so put him in your pocket. And before we go to the phones, let me fix this. Oh, yeah. Jeremy says Turning Point concert or Bad Bunny halftime. What'd you watch?

[Sarah]

Turning Point. Thank you very much.

[Larry McFeely]

I had a feeling about that. Didn't even look at Bad Bunny, right?

[Sarah]

Nope.

[Larry McFeely]

Because he's foreign.

[Sarah]

Turning Point.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. All right, I'm with you on that. This is it. Here's our crazy lady. Screening questions.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

How's your relationship with your dad? Great. Okay. And it's recently recovered, I'm guessing?

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

You went through a spell.

[Sarah]

I went through a spell, but it's been recovered for quite some time.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. All right. How many times have you cheated in a relationship? Oh boy, there was a face.

[Brady]

Whoa.

[Larry McFeely]

Lots. Wow.

[Sarah]

Well, I've never been in love.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, yeah. So it's their fault.

[Host 1]

All right.

[Larry McFeely]

How. How are you with money? Great credit score.

[Sarah]

Credit score is amazing.

[Larry McFeely]

What is it?

[Sarah]

Well, it's not amazing. It's six good times.

[Larry McFeely]

That's what I mean. I'm actually.

[Sarah]

I'm actually extremely good. I worked at a brokerage firm for a long time. My aunt is actually was in the Wall Street Journal for the top 10.

[Larry McFeely]

This doesn't matter. We're not trying to business women.

[John]

Doesn't mean it filtered down.

[Larry McFeely]

She sounds great.

[Sarah]

Is that she gave me some.

[Host 1]

Doesn't mean anything. Believe me.

[Sarah]

Gave me some tips. I so I know how to invest.

[Larry McFeely]

Brady's dad, you don't have to report those tips. That's right.

[Sarah]

I know.

[Larry McFeely]

Thanks.

[John]

Brady's dad cooked Cuba.

[Larry McFeely]

Daddy. T is now. All right. Do you have a psychiatri psychiatrist?

[Sarah]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. Have you ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder? No, not diagnosed.

[Sarah]

Not diagnosed.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. There's my training orders. What was all the Adderall and stuff for?

[Sarah]

That was because I took it and I liked it and it was easy to get at the time.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Caller Eric]

All right.

[Sarah]

Back in 20. What? 2012. When it was all the rage.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh yeah. When everybody was.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

How many guys have you been with at the same general time period? Like your roster?

[Sarah]

What do you mean?

[Larry McFeely]

Like, are you kind of got three or four going? Nobody's serious. What's the most you've ever been taking at one period of your life? Oh, like how many cranks you have spinning? How many? Yeah, yeah. How many cranks are you juggling? Oh, you gotta. You gotta call.

[Brady]

Are you like the red panda?

[Larry McFeely]

It's.

[Sarah]

I go in spells, I guess.

[Larry McFeely]

But you gotta go to call right now.

[Sarah]

I can't.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I have. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Any self harm in your history?

[Sarah]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

Suicide attempt?

[Sarah]

No, never.

[Larry McFeely]

All right. Jail.

[Sarah]

Only nine Chanels in the dark closet when I'm depressed. I'm just kidding.

[Larry McFeely]

That's weird. All right. Good lord. That turns ugly. Jail time. Time.

[Sarah]

Yes, I did go to jail back in the day. Four for shoplifting.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, what'd you take?

[Sarah]

I don't even remember.

[Larry McFeely]

You do too.

[Sarah]

Walmart. No, it was something shoplifting for Walmart.

[Larry McFeely]

You stole. You stole a horse. No, it was a horse with an eagle riding its back.

[Sarah]

It was quite some time ago.

[John]

Self checkout.

[Larry McFeely]

It was a great value. Let me start. Sarah, you remember what you stole?

[Sarah]

I know. Well, I mean I'D have to think about it.

[Brady]

It was enough to do jail time.

[Sarah]

Probably like a bag. A backpack.

[Brady]

That was my.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[AMCO Representative]

A backpack.

[Larry McFeely]

It doesn't matter where. You're guessing. She's guessing.

[Sarah]

It was makeup.

[Larry McFeely]

You stole makeup. Okay.

[Sarah]

Makeup.

[Larry McFeely]

Finally.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Jesus Christ. All right, let's go to the phones and see who's ready to question. Yeah, go ahead.

[John]

So the guy that's in the rotation right now, why isn't he on the possibility of the. Of love?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

There are no guys on the rotation.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. You're out of the rotation. I won't waste Sarah's time bargaining for petty privileges. Did your nipples get tougher during breastfeeding? Reading?

[Sarah]

My nipples are pretty intact.

[Larry McFeely]

They're pretty intact. They didn't get wrecked at all.

[Sarah]

I have not one stretch mark.

[Larry McFeely]

This one says you're bartending. And Coolidge. How many teeth do you have that are yours?

[Sarah]

All of them.

[Larry McFeely]

All of them are yours. They're nice teeth. Very nice teeth. Okay. That's surprising.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

A lot of people bashing Coolidge, saying you're from Coolidge, and you think you can be picky.

[Sarah]

No, no, I'm not from Coolidge. Yeah, but let me just get this straight. I'm only working there because, like, I. Because I run it. Because I'm the only one that can be there. And so that I make a lot of money there. And I only do certain events there.

[Larry McFeely]

All right. Joey says he likes you because he thinks you're the type of girl I could take to Texas Grill on a first date. Is that right?

[Sarah]

To Texas?

[Larry McFeely]

No, no. Texas Grill, home of the chicken fried steak.

[Brady]

16Th Street, Bethany Hill.

[Sarah]

I'm good.

[Larry McFeely]

Not a very good first date. All right, let's go to the phone, see these guys and see if anybody can win you over for Valentine's Day.

[Host 1]

We'll start off with Eric. He's 63240.

[Larry McFeely]

63240. Eric, are you there?

[Caller Eric]

Yes, sir.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, say hi to Sarah and put your best foot forward. Go get them, Eric.

[Sarah]

Hi, Eric.

[Caller Eric]

Oh, man. What's going on, Sarah? How you doing?

[Sarah]

I'm doing okay. How are you?

[Caller Eric]

Not too bad. Not too bad. So we'll get. We're gonna get straight to the point here. You like heavy metal? I like heavy metal.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Do you like white guys?

[Caller Eric]

Tattoos? I'm a white guy covered in tattoos. You like the outdoors? I got a boat. I got a cap and trailer. I got quads, dirt bikes. I do all that stuff, man. I'm an instruction foreman.

[Larry McFeely]

I make.

[Caller Eric]

I do pretty good for myself.

[Brady]

I like it.

[John]

Yeah.

[Caller Eric]

I'm just trying to kick back and have a good time on the water, man. Boating season's about to start up and we're ready to hit it.

[Sarah]

I like that.

[Larry McFeely]

And you'd like to take Sarah out on your boat and show her a good time.

[Sarah]

Have you ever been incarcerated?

[Larry McFeely]

You ever been to jail like Sarah?

[Caller Eric]

Oh, no.

[Larry McFeely]

I mean, you weren't there. Yeah, I got three days. Hey, he's got jail time, too. You guys a lot in common. What'd you do to get in jail?

[Caller Eric]

A couple aggravated.

[Larry McFeely]

But, you know, I got my right back. I got guns.

[Caller Eric]

I can vote.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah. You don't even vote. Okay, you can vote for Trump.

[Caller Eric]

Well, I don't really. I don't really vote for anybody. I got my own opinions and okay to myself, because if I let it out, I let it out, I get in trouble, right?

[Brady]

So.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah, no, that's true. You start with another aggravated assault. We don't need that. Hey, man, what's your credit?

[Caller Eric]

Sometimes we got to push the envelope.

[Larry McFeely]

Goddamn right.

[Caller Eric]

760.

[Larry McFeely]

760. The two buy a pretty decent car. All right, Sarah, do you have any questions for him?

[Sarah]

No, I like what I hear.

[Caller Eric]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I do.

[Brady]

All right, that's got potential.

[Sarah]

I mean, I can think of a million questions right now.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, but does anything stand out? Do you have a normal sized penis?

[Sarah]

I like the.

[Brady]

How about when's the last relationship?

[Caller Eric]

Two years ago.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, when's the last time you had sex with someone?

[Sarah]

1.

[Caller Eric]

Oh, hey, man, we don't want to talk about that. I got a couple things on the roster.

[Larry McFeely]

But you know what?

[Caller Eric]

All right, that don't matter.

[Sarah]

That's okay.

[Brady]

Gotta have a roster.

[Larry McFeely]

Hold on. So, yes, yesterday is your answer.

[Caller Eric]

I'm snipped, so I ain't got to worry about none of that bs.

[Larry McFeely]

All right? Cream pies, the glory holes, all that stuff. Oh, God, Yeah. All right.

[Brady]

What kind of boat we talking about?

[Larry McFeely]

Calm down, Brady. I'll handle this. Don't distract. We're onto the cream pies now and not the oatmeal. All right? So you would like to. All right, you guys think you. I like this. I think this is a good match.

[Sarah]

I like you, too.

[Larry McFeely]

Are you. I asked you before, you didn't answer. Are you an average sized man down south? She prefers large.

[Caller Eric]

I've never had any complaints.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Caller Eric]

I mean, if I put in work, I can fold you up like a pretzel and we can go get a beer afterwards, you know?

[Larry McFeely]

Good Lord. I mean, who said that? Keats or Shelley? I can't remember which poet came up with that line.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Visit Homeburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[Larry McFeely]

Sarah's revealed a little more information here, and I'm not so sure that we can go on with our show without the disclosure of.

[Sarah]

Of what? This. The sugar daddy.

[Larry McFeely]

The sugar daddy.

[Sarah]

The sugar daddy.

[Host 1]

I'm doing a shot to that, Right.

[Sarah]

I feel like every.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh. Because we were asking her off the air, so we were saying goodbye, and she. She lives with her parents, right?

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And that's just because. Just moved back saving some money. You moved back in. You got some cash.

[Sarah]

The house I was in, they were selling it, so I moved back in with my parents just a few months ago.

[Larry McFeely]

Just. And so you're trying to get out of that house. You're just looking right now. So it's just a temporary situation.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

But in the meantime.

[Sarah]

In the meantime, I had a sugar daddy.

[AMCO Representative]

Where?

[Larry McFeely]

And mom and dad don't know about that?

[Sarah]

Well, my mom is a snooper.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, she.

[Sarah]

And she looked through my entire phone.

[Larry McFeely]

And found that you have a sugar daddy.

[Sarah]

Oh, yeah. Yep.

[Larry McFeely]

And did not probably go well.

[Sarah]

It didn't go well at all? No, no, no.

[Brady]

But she said how much? Okay, that's fine.

[Larry McFeely]

And you were doing pretty well with the sugar daddy.

[Sarah]

Four grand a month. But I cut him off. That's why I'm here.

[Larry McFeely]

That is not at all. All right, Sarah, you've been nice. Go sit on the couch over there before we find out more.

[Sarah]

All right.

[Larry McFeely]

Poor Edward the Turtle. Colle is just way out of his league here with this one. This is. And she's doing another shot. Oh, Edward's. You've got to. Look, If Edward has 500 bucks, will you at least do him right? Come on. Don't that. All right.

[Sarah]

Just do anybody for.

[Larry McFeely]

I know. Well, not $500,000. If Edward breaks out a thousand bucks, you're gonna bone him. She said also if you wear a condom, it doesn't count. That holds up in court. Look, you, Honor, this is not prostitution. He had a condom on. It was like there was a wall between us. You know how hard it is for Brady to be in a room with you right now that you two love the same. Jesus.

[Brady]

He does. He loves her.

[Larry McFeely]

Of course he does. He hung out with hookers, too. I know. Brett and I are having a blast with us. All right, Sarah, go sit on the couch. Go sit over by John Gordon. John, hide your wall. Got a thousand bucks. She's fun. Sarah was stuff. Do you have a thousand dollars? Let's pull our money and see if we can. I got a couple hundred dollars in my pocket. I can. Laundry.

[Brady]

Here's an opening.

[John]

Yeah, we've been contacted by our legal department. They've sent over a lengthy just affidavit that releases us of all liability.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

If.

[Larry McFeely]

In case she kills. I was worried about the felons before. Now I'm worried for Edward's life.

[Host 1]

Condom. It doesn't count.

[Larry McFeely]

Don't worry. That's right. And we'll tell our legal department. Look, Edward had a condom. It was like he wasn't in the room.

[Brady]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Larry McFeely]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.