02-11-26 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 02-11-26 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY (February 11, 2026)
Host & Team: John Holmberg (Host), Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode is headlined by a uniquely outlandish radio stunt: the on-air "auction" of a woman named Sarah, who volunteered to be "given away" for Valentine's Day. The crew discusses love, dating, legality (and moral quandaries) of their contest, and fields calls from would-be suitors. The team covers current events (notably the Savannah Guthrie's mother kidnapping saga), pop culture, AI’s peculiarities, and their typically irreverent banter about news, personal stories, and Arizona life.

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Main Segments and Time Stamps

1. Morning Mayhem and Banter (01:32–08:00)
2. Setting Up the Human “Auction” (05:05–15:00)
3. Legal and Ethical Jokes About Contest (06:23–16:30)
4. Savannah Guthrie Conspiracy Chat (21:02–36:45)
5. AI and the Human Condition (54:37–61:44)
6. Olympics and Pop Culture Sidebars (63:50–70:15)
7. Listener Banter, Musical Treats, & Local Jokes (72:32–76:01)
8. Introducing Sarah, the Valentine's “Auction” Prize (106:01–108:09)
9. Live On-Air Auditions: The Suitors (108:09–155:55)
10. Behind-the-Scenes Postscript (Sugar Daddy Confession!) (156:47–161:26)
11. Wrap-Up and Entertainment News (161:26–end)

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1. Morning Mayhem and Banter

(01:32 – 08:00)

Key Points:

• The crew immediately jumps into irreverent humor, recounting past inside jokes and listener emails.
• John recalls Brett’s influence on his sense of humor, driving the show’s “inappropriate” energy.
• John: “Two simple words have thrown me off completely. And those words are Jew Travolta…” (02:05)
• Banter about Larry’s disco-style coat at the Christmas party ("Jew Travolta"), triggering laughter and nostalgia.
• First mention of a woman (Sarah) volunteering to be "pimped out" for Valentine's Day—this soon dominates the episode.

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2. Setting Up the Human “Auction”

(05:05 – 15:22)

Key Points:

• The team riffs on the premise of giving away a human as a contest prize for Valentine’s Day.
• John: “We’re going to prostitute a lady today. She asked for it. It’s not our doing…” (06:06)
• The concept: Sarah, a regular listener, wants to meet someone who shares her love for the show (“I need to find someone who likes the same things I like, starting with this show.” - 08:38).
• Extended joking about “human trafficking,” legality, donations, and the mechanics of the contest — quickly veering into over-the-top satire.

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3. Legal and Ethical Jokes About Contest

(06:23 – 19:41)

Key Points:

• The hosts oscillate between how to make the contest fun and how to avoid actual illegality: “I don’t know that this is just for men. If you’re a lady and you want a Galentine’s...I don’t want you people. You can do whatever you want with her afterwards so long as she says it’s okay.” (06:06)
• John jokes about radio contest history, bachelor auctions, the fine line between fun and trafficking, and “entry fees” as “donations to the Humane Society.”
• Humorous aside about high school “slave day auctions,” questioning if such events can still happen today (14:13).
• Developing excitement and skepticism about how the contest will play out—and hints that Sarah might, in fact, be “a lot.”

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4. Savannah Guthrie Conspiracy Chat

(21:02 – 41:49)

Key Points:

• Deep-dive into the latest national news: Savannah Guthrie’s mother’s kidnapping and the ensuing media circus.
• John voices skepticism about the case, comparing it to Jussie Smollett and calling it possibly “a successful ruse…very Jussie Smollett vibe to it.” (21:02)
• Philosophical riffs on media, public attention, and how easily the news cycle moves from one crisis to another, tying into recent events in Minnesota.
• “We just want to see how it ends. We’re watching a Dateline episode unfold live.” (24:26)
• Jokes about how America is distracted by “entertainment,” and how the show is now ‘auctioning’ a human being as if nothing’s out of the ordinary.

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5. AI and the Human Condition

(54:37–61:44)

• Discussion on AI chatbots and nutrition advice, quickly derailing into jokes about what people could or would put in their bodies if AI suggested it.
• “Instead of using anything for good with AI, we immediately Katie KB it...[we] start shoving things in our ass because that’s what society does now.” (55:39)
• John describes his experiments (and trolling) with AI therapist Amanda: “I am going to AI therapy not for me, but to see where she draws the line and when she reports me because I am admitting to horrible things to this.”
• Laughter over how quickly any new technology is appropriated for the most juvenile (or perverse) uses.

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6. Olympics and Pop Culture Sidebars

(63:50–70:15)

Key Points:

• The guys talk about the randomness of Olympic events, especially John’s bemusement over “slopestyle.”
• References to pop culture, including Benson Boone at a Suns game, and the emasculation of men by certain drink choices (“Don’t order a man a cosmopolitan. That is an announcement to him that A, we’re not having sex and B, you’re gay.” - 67:54).
• Side discussions on Arizona food, Barbecue, and local personalities.

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7. Listener Banter, Musical Treats, & Local Jokes

(72:32–76:01)

Key Points:

• Reading and reacting to listener song requests for the playlist, most of which are dark jokes related to the ongoing Guthrie saga (“Hollywood Dead,” “Kill All Beautiful Things,” etc).
• Banter about naming a pygmy hippo at the zoo after Brady.
• Notorious for fast runs between truly wild topics, local inside jokes, and embracing the chaotic Arizona radio culture.

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8. Introducing Sarah, the Valentine's “Auction” Prize

(106:01–108:09)

Key Points:

• Sarah sits in the studio, after being nervously parked outside (“She’s been in our parking lot for 25 minutes.”).
• She claims to be seeking love, never having been in love, and after divorcing a good man in her early 20s.
• Sarah: “I’ve just, you know, dated a lot. I’ve done a lot. I’ve had the life, and now I’m done with it...I think that I’m ready to make that next step. I’m ready to be faithful.” (109:04)
• Key facts: 5’5”, 125 lbs, in good shape, mother of two, ex-bartender, lots of tattoos, “adorable, deplorable” (a self-identified conservative).
• She’s open about her politics (strong Republican), family background, drug history (former prescription drug addiction but 12 years sober), and even her prior OnlyFans career, including a highly trafficked intimate video.
• She’s looking for a childless, tall, tatted-up white conservative (but is “not discriminating” as long as he isn’t a liberal or illegal immigrant).

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9. Live On-Air Auditions: The Suitors

(108:09–155:55)

Key Points:

• Callers line up, with Sarah and the crew screening for compatibility and red flags.

• Notable Quotes and Interactions:

  • “I have never been in love…and now I’m ready to be faithful.” (Sarah, 109:04)
  • “Have you ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder?” “No, not diagnosed.” (Banter, 135:17)
  • “Would your parents be okay with your jail time?” “They do way worse.” (154:07)
  • On Sarah’s OnlyFans: “What’s the worst thing you’ve done for money?” “I had sex with a guy on the Internet, on OnlyFans, for money…” (118:55)
  • On suitors’ backgrounds: The preferred finalists are all men with some criminal history, bikes or boats, tattoos, and generally “fun” (translation: wild/chaotic) energy.
  • Callers and listeners debate what counts as a red flag, dealbreaker, or just evidence of a ‘fun’ life.
  • Surprise call-ins from “Banji” — a woman asking if Sarah has ever been with her boyfriend (“I would never!” - 147:21).
  • The winning suitor: Edward, a 5’8”, bearded Ninja Turtle collector, shy and nerdy, but “safe.”

• Notable Moment: Sarah admits at the end, “I just moved back in with my parents, but I had a sugar daddy…four grand a month. That okay? But I cut him off, that’s why I’m here.” (157:04)

Memorable Moment

• Sarah’s OnlyFans Confession (118:55)
• Sugar daddy revelation post-script (157:04)
• Wild parade of felony admissions (“How long did you sit down? - About six months” - 143:08)

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10. Behind-the-Scenes Postscript (Sugar Daddy Confession!)

(156:47–161:26)

Key Points:

• Just when things seem to wind down, Sarah drops another bomb: while living with her parents, she maintained a “sugar daddy” arrangement (“…four grand a month. That okay? But I cut him off, that’s why I’m here.” - 157:04)
• Crew is delighted and appalled at her casualness—and even more excited to see the repercussions of Edward’s date with Sarah the “turtle nerd.”

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11. Wrap-Up and Entertainment News

(161:26–end)

Key Points:

• The team cycles through a typical Morning Sickness wrap-up—rapid-fire entertainment news, pop culture notes, movie releases (“Friday the 13th” at theaters), and celebrity trivia.
• Sarcastic predictions about the outcome for Sarah and Edward (“We’ll find out in a couple days what Edward the Turtle man and Sarah did for a date, but I’m guessing it’s gonna end with red and blue lights flying, flashing.” - 171:12)
• Final code word drops for listeners, and goodbyes.

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Quotes and Notable Moments

• “We’re going to prostitute a lady today. She asked for it. It’s not our doing…but she’s coming in and she asked us a week ago…Pimp me out.” — John (06:06)
• “You can do whatever you want with her afterwards? So long as she says it’s okay.” — John (06:23)
• “I got to remember great things like that [Jew Travolta]. That's weak on my end, but I’m starting to think maybe, you know, I’ve got that solopsism thing…Brett is in control of my consciousness.” — John (02:27)
• “Instead of using anything for good with AI, we immediately Katie KB it...start shoving things in our ass because that’s what society does now.” — John (55:39)
• “I’ll be right on top of that. Okay, that’s enough. But you know, and then we have to have a follow up, so she may have to come back tomorrow if she’s up for it.” — John, foreshadowing tomorrow’s results (09:42)
• “How tall are you?...How much do you weigh?...Work out, you’re in good shape?” — John, interviewing Sarah in increasing checklist fashion (111:35).
• “I feel like every…all probably because we were asking her off the air. We were saying goodbye and she said she lives with her parents, right? ...But in the meantime… I had a sugar daddy.” — Sarah (157:01)

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Episode Takeaways

• Unfiltered, Outrageous Fun: The team leans into their reputation for Arizona's most brash and boundary-pushing radio, with this episode’s highlight being the “auction” of a real-life, self-selected fan.
• Real-Life Comedy of Errors: Sarah’s journey is told unvarnished—marriage, kids, rehab, OnlyFans, a sugar daddy, and now looking for love in the most public/shameless way possible.
• Cultural Satire and Local Color: From their open mocking of traditional radio to their gleeful lampooning of morality, consent, and modern romance, the show's tone is audacious and relentlessly tongue-in-cheek.
• Honest, Sometimes Uncomfortable Interviews: The on-air suitor auditions blend wild confessions, quick-check compatibility, and live audience input, painting a hilariously chaotic picture of modern dating.

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For New Listeners

If you missed the episode:

• Expect uncensored humor and banter, interlaced with topical news, pop culture, and local Arizona flavor.
• The human “auction” is typical of the show’s style—absurd, outrageous, but always with a wink and a nudge signaling not to take it too seriously.
• Fans new and old are invited to join in the state’s wildest, weirdest radio party—even if you don’t want to be the prize next year.

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Key Timestamps (selected highlights)

• Jew Travolta / Opening Banter: 02:05
• Auction Premise Origin: 06:06–09:41
• Legality/Ethical Debate: 14:13
• Savannah Guthrie Conspiracy: 21:02–36:45
• Olympics/Slopestyle Riff: 63:50
• Sarah's OnlyFans Confession: 118:55
• Sugar Daddy Bombshell: 157:04
• Edward the Ninja Turtle Nerd “Wins” Sarah: 154:09–155:54

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Tone

The episode is relentlessly irreverent, bold, and explicit, dripping with sarcasm and always looking for the next taboo to lampoon. The hosts play off each other's ridiculousness, often blurring the lines between wild satire and real human moments.

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That’s today’s Morning Sickness: Arizona’s “full send” morning radio at its funniest—and weirdest.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

And base ends Monday only at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com. morning sickness.

[C]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[B]

That's all I'm thinking about. Good morning everybody.

[D]

Hello there.

[B]

Welcome to Wednesday. It's 5:45. My name is John. How are you? God. Come on, Brett. There's Brady. Brett Fesley just reminded me of something I completely forgot about. Toledo's there and I gotta pee. Oh my goodness. This. It's the morning sickness. And hopefully you're up and running on this glorious Wednesday. Two simple words have thrown me off completely. And those words are Jew. Travolta, you bastard. And now that's all I can think about. Larry had a coat. He wore McFeely to a Christmas party. And it was the same style that John Travolta wore in Saturday Night Fever. We called him Jude Travolta for star.

[A]

Out on the chain.

[B]

The gold chain and everything. Oh yeah, I think I got a.

[A]

Picture of that somewhere.

[B]

Like yeah, how you doing? Shalom. What's going on? And now. And I totally forgot about it, and that's on me. I got to remember great things like that. I know that's. That's weak on my end, but I'm starting to think maybe, you know, I've got that solopsism thing, and it is a. A. A philosophy. It is. It is. I don't know if it's a popular thing. It's not, but it's known as the only sense of self. It's a isolationism of your thoughts, meaning that your consciousness is all that exists. You cannot prove, outside of what you know, to exist at all, because. What are you talking about? If you don't know about it, you can't talk about it. So does it exist? And solopsism is that. But I'm starting to think maybe Brett is in control of my consciousness because. Well, yeah, because the Eileen.

[D]

Two words took it over.

[B]

Oh, no, no, beyond that. But prior to that, I was thinking about this last night because I went home, and that Eileen goo. We were talking about y. Who's that amazing Chinese skier that's from San Francis. Beautiful woman and, you know, prettier than she is. Well, no, that's not true, because her skill is unmatched. And then I'm watching, and the men are doing that unmatched ski skill that it's just. It's literally. There's flying through the air, spinning and flipping on purpose and landing backwards and skiing. I can't.

[D]

I can't even do, like, a skateboard routine on Spain.

[B]

And they do it on snowboards, too, but on skis, to. To land and go backwards on skis. When I tried the first time I tried skiing, I didn't make it going forward, let alone. I was. I was stumbling over my. I was just. The skis just kept going over you. They gotta do the pizza. And I don't understand any of this. They're. It's a skill. It's unmatched. So. And yesterday we talked about Eileen Gu, who skis for China. And last night, I'm watching again, and you know what the event is called. And I think you're in charge of my own mind now, Brett. I think you have. It's called slopestyle. I'm like, you can't name it that. With people like Brett in the world, they're dominant. Well, yeah, but slopestyle is like. I hear that. And normally. I mean, I'm a normal human being, because I know you. I immediately went. Because I thought of him hearing that Watch. If he had the Olympics and he's taking one of his little sips of coffee, like your whole house would have exploded to that.

[A]

That's why I've been watching the Olympics.

[B]

You shouldn't. But I'm like, Brett's in charge of something. Like, he's making my life harder. I would have. I wouldn't have laughed at that last night, thinking, oh, Brett's gonna. This would kill a guy. And then you bring up Jew Travolta to start today. Damn you.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

No, you're watching Slopesty.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Oh, there's the picture of June Travolta. Oh, my God, look at that coat. You still have photos of it? It's in my Facebook. Wow. Way back when, man. How many years ago was Ju Travolta?

[A]

2016.

[B]

Geez. We're looking at nine and a half years ago for the Christmas party. Holy smokes. All right, well, there you go. That's. That's going to be on my brain when I see Larry later today. I'm going to lose my mind. I'm hoping he's wearing it. Maybe he'll wear it for us. Larry's got potentially a big day because we're going to turn a woman out to the streets. We're going to prostitute a lady today. She asked for it. It's not. It's not our doing, but she's coming in and she asked us a week ago. I guess she's. She's ready to get back in the world of. Of the living. And she's like, I'm alone for Valentine's Day. I'm awesome. And pimp me out. So, okay, she seems normal. So we will have her in and we will let one of you. We're going to give away a person today. Normally give away, like concert tickets or something. Today on the podcast, we give away humanity and kind of think that's called trafficking, but in a weird way, love, charm. I don't think you can say that. I think if you do that, you're definitely. Yeah. Sex trafficking. I think that's just say we're giving away a person. You do whatever you want with it. Well, that's worse. Okay. Yeah, you're just gonna win a person today. And I don't think she's. I don't think this is just for men. I think if you wanna. If you're a lady and you want a Galentine's and then maybe scissor, I don't know. I don't want you people. You can do whatever you want with her afterwards? So long as she says it's okay.

[A]

No cb' ing today, Brady. Yeah, don't get her number.

[B]

She's. Yeah, well, if you want to get her number, go ahead, but. Yeah, pay attention. That. Be mindful that we're pimping someone out and it's not time to talk about their morality or question any of that. We gotta. She needs to go to the highest bidder, really. Is what you. We actually could do it that way. I don't know if that's legal. Possibly. Let's just have donations to the Humane Society, and then everybody kicks in, straight up. And then we draw. I know that's buying in, but it's unlike any other radio contest. You're not supposed to. Dave Pratt used to do it. He's a prick. But he used to charge you to get in contests. I still don't know how he hasn't gotten in trouble for that. But he used to charge you to get into contests and he'd take your money, put it in his foundation and then have a tax write off for himself. It's brilliant how. It is sort of brilliant that he got like, I'm going to give him the tip of the cap. He got away with it. It is one of the most crooked things I've ever seen. So we're not. We're mindful of that. But one thing he never did was auction off a human being. And I don't know that that's. I don't know. I think we're almost Belichickian in this.

[E]

That.

[B]

I don't know that they have a rule for that.

[D]

You know, it's our own Groundhog's Day. Bill Murray's up. Remember Annie McDowell bid on him?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Well, it's a bachelor auction. I guess that's kind of. Maybe he would do a bachelorette auction. Yeah, but then you just. But that's the thing where you just get the highest bidder. All the other guys don't have to pay. I want everybody to.

[D]

We want to find a good suitor.

[B]

Well, I want an entry fee and then a drawing. I don't care if it's a good suitor. I don't care if the dude is the murderer. She put herself out there. I hope he's not. But there's a possibility when you say give me to an entire audience. Okay. That you're going to end up with a. Like a strangling guy or something. One of those types. I know. I read my emails. I'm. I'm not Putting myself up there with these people for lunch at a, you know, pizza place. Andre has said, can we call it Epstein's Love Island? I don't know if that's a good idea. I think everybody. And look, if you've got an underage boy that you'd like to auction to her, like, if you want to buy her for your teen son, I think that's a solid idea.

[D]

I just saw a fun fact on the island.

[B]

It had a pokey stop on it for the fish.

[D]

Pokemon.

[B]

Oh, sure, yeah. If you had phones. You had a Pokemon stop. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. You had to. You had to keep the kids entertained when you were sleeping. The kids had. They have something to do. But yeah. I don't know what you. I don't know what this girl expects or what we're doing with her, but we're going to auction off a human being today. And that hasn't been said since Lincoln. I think kind of proud of ourselves. I don't know how it works. She's a volunteer, she's not a hostage. We'll make that clear right off the bat. And please, at home, as always, no wagering. That's all we ask. That's all we ask. No, no, no. No wagering. But that's where we're going to draw the line. You can't bet on it because then we can rig it. And I'm not interested in any of that. But she's going to. Her name is Sarah and she's been begging. She might be annoying. She's been begging to come in here and she's like, I need to find someone who likes the same things I like, starting with this show. And I'm like, all right. And then Rich and I talked about it. Like, let's. If she wants to do it, do.

[A]

We reserve the right to end the auction early or. I mean, just if she's annoying or something.

[B]

Oh, she's annoying. John will say so.

[A]

Okay. I'm just making sure.

[B]

John will tell you. I'll be right on top of that. Okay, that's enough. But you know, and then we have to have a follow up, so she may have to come back tomorrow if she's up for it.

[A]

The dates.

[B]

Well, I don't know if they want to go out tonight or whenever. Monday, Valentine's Day. That's why we're doing this.

[A]

What, Saturday, right?

[B]

Saturday, Yeah, I think that's right. So if you take her out on the weekend.

[D]

But Friday and Saturday would be the big days.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I think it I think.

[D]

The game is called 13th.

[B]

How will you be a gentleman to. This is what we wanted to call it for the longest time in honor of our old friend Freddie, who often used to say, I was a. I was a gentleman to that bitch. It was a great phrase. Yeah. So she'll be in here a little later. And I. I don't know that it's illegal. It's technically.

[A]

Check out the box.

[B]

Somebody says, it's technically not trafficking, but the line is paper thin here. As long as she's not getting paid or getting tickets, you're. Or monetizing off of this, you're good. She is getting, hopefully a free meal from a listener. But we're not paying for anything, right? I mean, it might float.

[D]

I love connection to it because they, like, they went on a date.

[B]

I think that was just matchmaking, which is sort of what we're doing. But. But I'm saying if we charged or had a fee.

[D]

Yeah, we did. I think there's a. I don't think that's. That's like a lottery or something.

[B]

Oh, sure, sure. But again, there's no way that in the legalese of radio, they've ever said including humans. So it's that Belichick rule going. Well, you didn't mention it. So it's not. So what they. After we auction her off and give all that money to the Humane Society, then they'd say, you know, you're not allowed to do that. I'm like, well, show me where it says I can't auction off a human being. It's like, well, you can't take money for a contest. I'm like, show me that. We're an auction. And they'd have to write new laws, and we'd just be like, oh, you got. And then. And then we're like, all right, we'll never do it again. I don't know how it works. And it is sort of a bachelorette at auction. But, hey, how about this? Anybody who offers gets a spin, right? Like, if you talk about anybody who gives, they're entered, and she's got to take them somewhere. Like, oh, okay, like, we'll do five minute dates with her, and she'll start at, like, speed dating. Six in the morning on Valentine's Day. And we'll just sit. I'll come in Saturday just to monitor this, Brady, you know, enough restaurant people that we can cater it and just have little snacks and coffees, and dudes will line up around the block and for a $20 donation to the Humane Society. You get to come in here and have a speed date with her. And if it all works out, dinner that night.

[A]

Is this the Houston 500?

[B]

I think that's what I'm trying to run here. I think that's exactly not a bad.

[A]

On the same page.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I think that's what I'm trying to do here is facilitate the Houston 500. Somebody had to be the organizer of that. It can't just be her. She's busy.

[D]

Yeah, they had signups.

[B]

Yeah. This guy says tell her to keep it short. Don't wreck time for rock wars. It could be a good one today. All right, well, we'll work on that, burner boy. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, I don't know if we can do that yet, but we'll try. For sure. We'll try to make her. The Sarah sale to work says, please post pics. Today is the pre sale. Basically the value setting phase of the deal. If she's good, you may have to crowdfund or gather some assets. If she's not, a huge blow to her ego, well, that's the fun of the radio contest. I mean, if she's. If she comes on here and, you know, we're like, okay, here she. And she just craps the bed and nobody's. And everybody's like, I'll give you a buck for this one. Like, that's fun for us. That wins for us. If she's great and everybody wants to, you know, take her, that's great for us too. I really don't see a loss for us unless she's dull. And that's just the worst thing as a human being, you can be as a dull person. So we'll see. But the excitement must. And if you're one of those guys and you know, Valentine's Day, I'm not sure we'll ask her if she's a sure thing.

[D]

And she didn't sound dull?

[B]

No, she's. Well, she seems a lot. Yeah, I'll start there. I like her. Like, on the emails of exchange back, she's playful and fun and like, not. And Larry's the one that I want in on this more than anybody. McFeely comes dressed up as Ju Travolta today.

[D]

Oh, man.

[B]

He's got an advantage over everyone else because he's live in person. Could be a disadvantage as Brett just looks at me in the eyes with a different. I didn't say anything. You didn't have to. Comes in swinging that.

[A]

Never mind.

[B]

This is a good one. Hey, Will Brady be putting his cleaner on the auction block later? No, no. See, you're not understanding. We're not just auctioning off everyone. Although, would you.

[D]

No.

[B]

Can we bid out Rodney.

[D]

Exclusive rights.

[B]

Just to scratch that itch for what?

[A]

Are you owning things over here?

[B]

What is this? Come on. Yeah, that's ownership. Yeah. This one says, I graduated in 85. And even then, we used to have a slave day auction at McClintock and Corona every year. Well, that's just. Teachers would volunteer and be auctioned along with the promenade queen and king. Does that fly today? I don't think you can call anything a slave auction anymore. Pretty sure that get put in the bin. I want to know in the last. Who's the holdout on the high school slave auction? Nope. We've been doing it since I've been a kid. And we're doing it again. I don't care what. What the political right. The woke world wants to not have slave auctions anymore. It was for fun. And a lot of the times, you know, and especially at, like, my high school, there were like two or three black guys, and one of them was almost always prom king because he was the best athlete on the football team. And it was at least in the running, and we wouldn't have gotten away to. I don't. I don't know that you're supposed to have slave auctions. And that's just uncomfortable. Probably did it, though. I don't remember. I didn't go to any of those events.

[D]

So Roosevelt was the prom king, huh?

[B]

Oh, yeah. No, no, we had. No. We had some good athletes that, you know, were in on this thing. And what have you found?

[D]

The slave auction is over.

[B]

Oh, that's when they threw him to the lions afterwards. The ones that didn't get picked. Is that from.

[A]

No, he can't. He can't because they only eat Christians.

[B]

He's a Jew. Oh, that's right. This history of the world.

[D]

Because I happen to know that the.

[B]

Lions only eat Christians. Christians. And I am a Jew. Well, you'll be the Lions today. And Stephen, I think you've misunderstood this. His email says this sounds like a gang bang. No, no, no, no, no. It's very classy and we'll figure it out from here, but I don't know. I don't know what we're up to. Brady will not be putting Rodney on the block. That is. That's for later. We can't do that in the same day. That's not for Valentine's Day. Maybe we can Be afterwards. What we could do is throw in Rodney so you can clean your house up while you're on the date. And then you come home to a clean house. You know, nothing worse than a girl coming to your house and it's filthy.

[A]

That's a bachelor pad or something.

[B]

Yeah, it's very. Yeah, it's very impressive to a woman, especially the bathroom when they go in and go, do you have a maid or something? Or do you do. Are you this tidy? You have a nice bathroom. My friend Colin, his bathroom was so bad I wouldn't go pee in it. It's not anymore. But back in the day, I went to his apartment and I said, I need your bathroom. He goes, yeah, the hallway. It's just a two bedroom apartment. And he was sharing it with another dude. They, you know, roommate time, I think, like probably in our early 20s. And I go into the bathroom and I'm like, do you shave in the toilet? What? Like when is the last time this got cleaned? What are you talking about? Full of hair. And then the mung that develops on the sides of toilets when you don't scrub them after. Like, it was milk.

[D]

It was.

[B]

It was that. It was just disgusting. And I'm like, I won't even pee in that. Like, I'm gonna go somewhere else and pee outside. I'm gonna go pee outside. And then I had another friend named Jeff Glaser. Called him shrubby. That dude shed like an Aussie shepherd. And went into his bathroom and the floor you could feel. You could see just a ton of. He had a. His other nickname was Jew Fro. He had this unbelievable amount of hair on his shoulders and his back and his. And I'm like, you're never. And he always complained that girls didn't like him enough. I can tell you exactly why they come to your house and see your bathroom. No one's staying for that. So we can get Rodney over to your house if you win the human auction today. And we'll have him clean up. Brady, you need to contact Rodney.

[D]

I will.

[B]

And. Or let him out of whatever you have them trapped in. And then. And send them over to whoever wins the Human auction with Sarah today.

[A]

People want to know what time the sale starts.

[B]

She's going to get here around 8. We're going to start at about 8:30. Okay. 8:30 will be the sales start time. It says. Can you please provide her stats? Not sure. Brett, when she gave us her name, went on her Instagram page and said, but I'm assuming I'm going to throw it out there. She's about to 5, 8, 5 7. I'd say 530 pounds. It says height, weight, bust, hips, gag reflex. I think bust is probably 34cc or B hips. Reasonable. I don't know a number on that. And gag reflects no is the word that the ins to be determined. Yeah, that's up to you to find out, my friend. You know, leave a little mystery in there. You report back after the date if she's got one. Francis is how many kids? How old are they? What's the total of her last billet? Postino? Yeah, that's a good question. These are questions you can ask her when we start the human auction a little later. And Adam says, her voice to me will go a long way. Personality will hit hard. But yeah, if she's got an annoying.

[A]

Voice, we don't know voice either.

[B]

No, we don't. Never. Never heard her. Never spoke with her. I mean, maybe there's a video on Instagram. We're not gonna give it away right away. And if I was her, I would cancel my Instagram immediately. But, yeah, later today. And Brady, don't get nervous. We're going to auction off a human being, so please try to not get in the way of that.

[D]

I'm okay.

[B]

You sure? You don't sound okay. You're getting beat up by the allergies. I can hear that. So your brain might be in a fog. And once we start to sell our human to another human, I question whether or not you're going to not get involved in that. We've had Valentine's day games before. B.B. jones picked Larry McFeely on a Valentine's Day thing to have a nice night out. And, well, then Brady asked for a BB joke.

[A]

Oh, that was the day.

[B]

Oh, okay. Larry was literally gonna make the move. And then I heard Larry say, so I'll call you and maybe we can hang out. And Bibi's like, sure. And then I heard, why don't you hand that number over here, too? I run a restaurant. You might be interested in popping on.

[C]

Over when Larry strikes out.

[B]

Oh, I see. I just give my number to everybody then. Yeah, that's the best way this works. Trust me. You know, anything to do with this guy.

[D]

Tick tock, Larry. Time's up.

[B]

He's gonna be too high to be hard anyway, so don't you.

[C]

Wouldn't you rather have a belly full.

[B]

Of meat than a mouthful? I'm just playing Workopolis open 24 hours a day. He threw a pitch at her. She never came to the restaurant, did she? I don't think she was much of a barbecue gal.

[D]

Oh, she said she liked barbecue.

[B]

Well, everybody says. But I mean, I don't think she's running out to go. Barbecue night. I don't see a lot of porn stars.

[D]

Oklahoma.

[B]

That's pretty.

[D]

Maybe pretty popular.

[B]

Could be. You may be right. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness by the way, my theory about what's going on with with the Savannah guthrie thing at 1 week ago I said it seemed like a ploy or some sort of a setup. It has a very Jussie Smollett vibe to it. I have a guy who emails me and says he's with the FBI and he's retired. And he's like, none of this has added up right down to this video they released yesterday. Now I'm fully vest. I am invested in finding Savannah's mom and knowing what happened. Again. Whoever wants to kidnap an 85 year old woman is out of their minds in the first place. That ain't fun. Hanging out with an 85 year old woman for three hours is enough. This guy's had her for a week. If she's still alive. He's going crazy. Medicines. I'm cold. Where's my soup? I'm thirsty. What time is it? Judge Wapner. Where's. No, he's been dead for years now. I want to watch Wapner. You got to go get her old VHS tapes. This dude's in a nightmare rod of insurer. I'm sorry.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

Nightmare. Trying to take care of this lady. Which is why these ransom notes come and go as he's busy shopping at Walgreens for insurer and diapers and you.

[D]

Know this would be impossible to do.

[B]

What are you talking?

[D]

Way like you see activity going on.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[D]

If there's that down. Really?

[B]

If a young man is buying insure.

[D]

And any of those medications.

[B]

Well, sure. Well, that's prescription. That's different. He's not getting those. He's doing the best he can to try to make good. If he's stupid enough to go filler prescriptions, we know who it is. But he's getting tennis balls for the bottom of the walker he had to buy or he's recently bought one of those. You know those. Those little stands you put around a toilet so she can not fall. And like the last thing he needs her tumbling and breaking a hip. I still don't buy everything. We're Being told this video comes out yesterday, and it's just a dude walking up to a ring camera in the full ski mask and everything else come on. And then. And then he put weeds over the can. Look, a camera. And then he puts weeds on it. But you know, what I said a week ago couldn't be more true. And it's a successful ruse if it is. Here I go again with my goddamn Alex Jones stuff. Well, I guess we're done with Minnesota. It's not even been talked about for like four days now. I'll eat your ass. It's not even talked about, which is what I said this was to begin with. This is a way that they started something else to go. Get this off of the television. There's still people died. And nobody's talking about that nurse anymore. Nobody's talking about the lady that got shot in the car trying to run that guy over. No one's talking about any of that. All we're on is now. So does anybody care about anything really? Or is it just timely protesting and timely pat yourselves on the back. And now it's the. Oh, wait, Savannah Guthrie's mom's more interesting than walking around in 20 below zero in Minnesota. Those people are still dead and still some affront to all of democracy according to what was going on a week ago. And now nobody's doing it. Maybe they're still there, but it's not getting covered and no one cares.

[A]

It's kind of what I was thinking on the way in today. It's just seems it went away that. And all of a sudden they got the whole country after this old broad. Like if somebody from Maryville disappeared or, you know, Globe or something, you wouldn't see the FBI out there and everything else. It just.

[B]

This always goes back a little much to the Dave Chappelle and was it Chris Rock who said that thing about, you know, when it's. It's funny, the news will choose the ones that get the most. Basically, there's missing black kids all the time. There's missing, you know, news. And cavern it like this. This is an awkward amount of entertainment that you're being fed. And every little piece is another, you know, Dateline NBC special waiting to happen. And we just want to see how it ends. We're. We're watching a Dateline episode unfold live. And so they had some dude wrapped up in Rio Rico, by the way. Don't know where that is, but learned last night. And I was at the Suns game with Robin Sewell. Her husband is partners with a friend of mine in business, and I didn't know that. And Robin Sewell, who hosts Arizona Highways TV was there and I, you know, I'm asking her questions about places to go and this and that, like what she done. And then I go home and see Rio Rico. And I looked it up and Robin's done a thing on Rio Rico. Very interesting. So never heard of this, Never done that. They closed the El Paso airport. For some reason they're tying it back to this. Oh yeah, the 6am Word. I forgot. Good thinking.

[D]

2,300 people a day are reported missing in the U.S. right.

[B]

And it just so happens that when we're all up in arms about what went on in Minnesota, this starts, I said it last week. This feels awfully convenient for, you know, the news, entertainment world to get out of this mess because each side was stepping in it. And now we've got a kind of unifying entertainment based thing that will turn political when they arrest a guy who's not a citizen of the United States. That's coming now. We're down on the border looking for people. And I go, I know what's going to happen next. They're going to arrest a guy who's not a citizen. And then all the arguments are going to turn back around into you're going to do something about immigration or not. The 6am word today for the Nine Inch Nails thing is fragile. Fragile boy. This is a perfect word. Fragile is the word right now. If you want to put it in there on your app [e-mail] try to get on the suite that feeds March 6th. These are today's code words. Will each and every hour give you a new one. Put it in there and get qualified for that. Yeah.

[A]

Learned where Rico. Rio Rico was now south.

[B]

It's about an hour south of Tucson last night. And so it just seems so choreographed. Nothing feels.

[D]

I thought it was the restaurant there on Val Vista and Guadalupe. It's Rio Rico.

[B]

Of course you did. Are you okay?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

We're worried about Brady. You look like you're getting beat up. Your eyes are barely open. You're just getting clobbered today. Yeah. Is it allergies or are you a sick man? Do you think. Do you know for sure?

[D]

I. I think it's allergies.

[B]

Okay. It's not fun being a snot bag.

[D]

It's better today than it was yesterday. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Today you look like it's got you. That's all right. Just went through it myself. It sucks. He's not lying that it sucks or what. Oh, oh, there's Rio Rico. Brady was right.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

His brain still works on Brady. Could get Alzheimer's like 100% full blown alts today. And he'd be laying on his bed and walk in and you just see his little eyes. Who are you? I'm John. We've known each other for almost 30 years. Oh, I don't. We used to eat at. I forget the name Mongolian barbecue place. It was on Elliot and that we.

[D]

Could I pick anything up for you?

[B]

I don't remember you, but I know what you're talking about. I've been Espanados with him. This stranger.

[D]

That was me.

[B]

There's Rio Rico. And it's a video now running on there. See what Brady, this is what I'm talking about. When the human auction starts, don't do this. And then we'll have videos of Rio Rico up and everybody will be talking about their last trip to Rio Rico. That distracts against the sex trade that we're running this morning.

[A]

That was Rio Rico Brady.

[B]

Oh my God. You're ruining it. And go ahead, review it.

[D]

It's okay.

[B]

Yeah, Not a big fan of three stars and apparently.

[D]

Huh.

[B]

It's a three.

[D]

They took over the old Casanova okay. Building.

[B]

Yeah, it's okay.

[D]

It's okay.

[B]

Nothing special. You don't go out of your way to go to Rio Rico. You don't think they're gonna find the guy or Savannah Guthrie's mom there? Probably. That's not the real Rico. Okay. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one says it's going full circle up in Minnesota. No one's talking. They've created citizen appointed checkpoints to make sure. Yeah, see, you get into this weird thing that now it's some weird deal up in Minnesota that no one's in. It's too convoluted and it's going to be messy.

[D]

And some lady was on yesterday talking about Savannah Guthrie. Had an interview with Epstein and she was in the files. And this is a twist that, you know, this is a diversion.

[B]

Epstein's involved in all of it. Yeah, everything feels like a diversion. That video in front of everybody. The girl on the news this morning said the video we all saw that will probably haunt every one of us for the rest of our lives. And I'm like, no, it won't. I'll forget about this next week.

[D]

Twice I heard haunting.

[B]

I mean, it's weird.

[D]

Yesterday, multiple times. And then they're like, oh, they're gonna put this haunting video up.

[B]

It looks like every Ring camera. And then the dude's got a ski mask and a backpack and all this stuff. And then he's. His plan was so insane. To pack up all his supplies, get in disguise, put the gloves on, put the outfit on. And he didn't once think, does she have a ring camera? He didn't walk up with, like, a piece of plywood to cover the ring camera in case it was there. He walks up and is surprised by it. Spray paint, markers, anything. You gotta think in your head, I'm gonna abduct this lady. And I'm totally prepared for it with my costume, which is what it seems it is. And then I'm gonna walk up to the camera, go, oh, no. Nabbed. And then go get some weeds. And then just try to put.

[D]

No. Most people would say, okay, I'm glad that happened. But she didn't have a subscription.

[B]

She had a subscription, so. But you could look.

[D]

But they have it recorded.

[B]

Here's something you don't know.

[D]

Everything's in the bank, in your phone.

[B]

Every keystroke, whether you send or not is stored. They can get it. Like, if you. If I type Brady, I'm going to kill you in your sleep tonight. I can't send that. And I deleted it. It's stored. They can get it. They can get that. Everything you've ever put in your phone can be brought out through some legal stuff. It's. That's what that giant building underground in Utah is. They are storing everything. So these ring cameras aren't just recording for you. You have to pay for the subscription. It still gets recorded. It's not just a live camera. Like, well, you didn't pay for it, so we didn't do it. It's a monitoring device that stays on for reason. Like, these cameras are. I have my cue. And I know for a fact, because I. When I said, all right, I'm gonna up my subscription, and I want to see Stu from the other day. It loaded up the two days. I said, I. It didn't say you didn't have a subscription. We didn't store that. It's like, okay, here you go. Your request is art. We got it. I'm like, perfect. So, dude walks up to a house in Tucson. Looked pretty nice. Everything's set up, planned, ready to go. He didn't account for a security camera, and he looks right at it.

[D]

And a pro would go pick weeds up to block it.

[B]

A dude would have looked and said, oh, God, there's a camera. And plus, you have to also know that walking down the street, which is what he did. Other houses have cameras. You're not doing this. Even the dumbest guy in the world is not going to do what he did and then go pick those flowers. And plus, here's the thing. When you walk away, the FBI has ways of body imaging scans to know exact height, weight, width, how big the eyeballs. They can do anything. And this dude just happened to be clumsy at that moment.

[D]

And most likely they were sitting on that for a while, like, okay, this is the time to unleash that one. Because they kind of did that with the Boston bombing.

[B]

Well, the Boston bomb. Well, they had. The dude was loose.

[D]

Yeah. But they didn't roll out the pictures right away.

[B]

Sure. They wanted people because there was so many eyeballs out. Two in the morning would have been different, but it just feels funny. And none of it feels. Again, I'm going, I'm turning, I'm turning bright red. We just offer our children up to the system with the fluoride and the water and the GMO hurting them, and we let fat perverts grab them at the airport to train them for the pedophile government. So simple Alex is living in my living rent free now, up in my mind, up in my monogam. But yeah, and then they said they had a guy detained last night and they went over to that dude's mother in law's house, knocked on the door and she goes, I'm the mother in law. They just kicked her out of the way, went in there and just raided that place. And then they let him go. You imagine if Burt turned out he stole somebody? Good chance.

[D]

Whoa.

[B]

And then they're knocking on our door and they're like, you're working with him, right? I'm like, yeah. And then they just come in and look for all. Like, he was never here.

[D]

We see the last thing you sent Mr. Vesely was a Carnival cruise Hellcats.

[B]

Pretty hilarious Instagram thing. But yeah.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Just, it's.

[A]

I wouldn't be that clumsy.

[B]

Of course not. And you're not a criminal.

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, nobody's that clumsy. No one. And I think, again, it goes back to my theory about the Kennedy. I'm going to go conspiratorial again. The Kennedy Assassin. No one can accept that maybe one dude did this. No one can accept the simplest answers because it means we're all, as the word suggests for 6am, fragile. We're all susceptible to, you know, something weird happening and one. One goofy dude can end it.

[D]

Right?

[B]

And that's the One thing about the Kennedy thing no one talks about. We just won't believe this dude was in all these meetings and got fired up and said, I'm gonna do this for. For my friends. I'm gonna be a hero amongst. And he did it alone. Like, I can't. You can't just change the course of history of one lone nobody. So we don't like when this stuff happens, when it's just like, did a dude just bust in and take an old lady? There's nothing we can do about that. We need it to be interesting. We need it to be deeper. We need the Epstein files involved. We need it to have tons more meaning when sometimes it's just a crazy family member that wants some money and he busts down the door and steals his aunt. I have a friend whose aun just recently was sitting in her house. Neighbor just decided to eeny meeny miny mow the places in the neighborhood. Walked into her place with an AR15 and lit her up. Never met her. I mean, the lone nut bag thing, people don't want to accept that it's a possibility. And the Epstein files weren't involved. And none of this stuff was like, oh, it's deeper. There's a conspiracy. Sometimes it's just some dude lost it. Good morning. Good morning. How you doing this morning? How's everybody for an auction off a person later? So, yeah, people are saying, oh, no, it's the Epstein files. And we're going to have. Savannah Guthrie's mom was in. Like, she's in it, so she's got to really. But it is awfully interesting because it's. It's got all of us, you know, the news won't stop. I won't stop. I was talking to my buddy Jeff last night, Suns game. He goes, I'm so in on this. Like, it's so interesting to me. And he agrees. He's like, none of this feels right. And we're given just little bits of pieces of information so we can try to figure out the. You know, we can Scooby Doo the mystery ourselves. But yeah, sometimes you just want to go Brady's route. Valderive Alderaan. Not care at all about it. But it is interesting. But I'm leaning towards family member on this one. And I think maybe Savannah doesn't know. And the family member would also be that jealous brother or brother in law that's like, Savannah's making $15 million a year at the Today show. We're getting screwed. She gives all the money to her mom. And then they want a piece of that. So they hatch this plan and now they're stuck with her. Because Nobody's taking an 85 year old woman unless they know her. I mean, I'd bust in to take someone. If There was an 85 year old in there, it would be like, man, they're out of the people I want to take. She can stay.

[D]

And what does. You know? Yesterday, evidently TMZ said for the first time there was activity in the bitcoin account connected to the ransom note.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

What does that mean?

[B]

I don't know what any of that means.

[D]

Track that down.

[B]

You'd think so.

[A]

Maybe he sold some ethereum off and bought some bitcoin. You know, you never know.

[B]

It's a good time to dump some of that stuff, but it's also a great time to profit. Yeah. If you go to Coinbase right now and get in on XRP or bitcoin, I highly recommend. It's at a low right now and it's a really good buy time. So maybe that's what the kidnappers were like. Did you know maybe Mrs. Guthrie was napping because it was noon and that's what she does. And they had some time between oatmeal servings to go on bitcoin and go. You know, it's dropped down to like 140. It's previous high was 3,325. Good time to get in on this one.

[D]

We get 6 million today.

[B]

If we get our 6 million, I'm gonna put it all in bitcoin because it's down to 70. And that stuff was at 120 less than a year ago. We're gonna kill it. You don't kidnap an 85 year old unless you know her patterns. You kidnap your mom, Brady, because she's 85, right? Or around there.

[D]

86. Yeah.

[B]

You know, she's gonna need her pills, she's gonna need this net. You don't just kidnap her.

[A]

You gotta have a goddamn walk in, shower put in.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

She doesn't have any of that. I don't know how long.

[B]

She wouldn't make it long and you know that. That's so you wouldn't take that chance with an 85 year old. You're gonna assume she's super healthy. A kidnapper who wants ransom, Last thing you want is a dead body. This doesn't make any sense. None of it. None of it. And everybody's. You know that. The she, Savannah Guthrie, was the one that interviewed a couple of the Ladies and whistleblow. The Epstein thing with the couple of the girls that he was bad to. So, I don't know, it is interesting. It's fun. Have fun with that. Meanwhile, we're going to auction off humans later. And I think that's the most important thing that happens today. Although we do have to celebrate one thing that's come from this. And I don't know how tied it is to the guth. They've shut down El Paso. No flights in, no flights out, which is what I've been screaming to do for 100 years now. Why in the world would anybody be flying into El Paso? They said they shut the airport down at El Paso International. They have an airport that they think people from other countries are going to come to El Paso. There's a border you just walk across. It's easy. Yeah, the. The airport at El Paso, they said it was. They banned all flights in and out, which means zero flights were affected coming in. Nobody's going to El Paso. That's not a ticket anyone buys. Got a fly into El Paso today. Big business deal. Said no one ever.

[A]

Why haven't they closed the Tucson Airport then?

[B]

Well, that's next, hopefully. That or the bus station. Albuquerque, Tucson and El Paso's airport shut down and 0% air travel disruption because there's nobody going there. It's a gift to say you can't go to El Paso. I've been telling people that for years. I had a friend, Steve McCollum who runs it, was on Dale's show with him, went to El Paso for the Sun Bowl. He follows asu.

[D]

They drove nobody one year for Ohio State.

[B]

Going to. They went to El Paso for Ohio State.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

That is a crud bowl for Ohio State. That's a failed season. Why?

[D]

Must've got a smoking deal.

[B]

Of course they did. Everything in El Paso is a peso. You don't even spend regular American money. You can barter down to, like, nothing. If you have 40 bucks, you're a trillionaire in El Paso. It's a dump.

[D]

My dad was a big Marty Robbins fan, too.

[B]

Well, it's a great song. I will say that. But back then, before El Paso turned into El Paso, when Marty was singing about the, you know, the cantina and Rosalia. What was her name?

[D]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

I forgot. But down in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. I wouldn't do that. They get pregnant real easy. I don't like that. You're gonna knock her up and Then you're gonna have more. And that one will be a citizen. One.

[D]

One.

[B]

Then I gotta separate families. Then we'll auction her off. That's what we do anyway. The world's gone haywire, but yeah. I'm just glad that Savannah. One good thing is I'll find the silver lining. Savannah Guthrie's mother's abduction made it so we forgot about Minnesota already. And that was the end of the world. A week and a half ago, that was. Ah, there'll never be a democracy. It's fascism on display. They're taking over. We have a king.

[D]

End of the world stuff.

[B]

And then Thursday, they're like, what's going on down there in Tucson? This is boring.

[D]

Tucson.

[B]

Exactly. Tucson. Distracted.

[D]

You captured our hearts.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It stole us away from the end of democracy nobody cares about anymore. Knock it off. If you were walking around with a sign a couple weeks. I'm gonna gather. The world's coming in. Wait a minute.

[E]

What?

[B]

Savannah Guthrie on the today show. I want to know what's going on. We're all slaves to entertainment. And thank God for that.

[C]

That.

[B]

Speaking of slaves, we're gonna auction off a girl later this morning. Keep that in mind.

[A]

We had one thing. People are talking about the word. A lot of people were getting a kick back to him saying there was no word available. Oh, Toledo. I guess. Got it reset and stuff. So the app will be working. So put your words back in. I got tons of emails. That's the only reason I say that.

[B]

Yeah, I got nothing to do with it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I give the word. We don't. We don't.

[A]

But re enter your email.

[B]

So if technically it don't work. Yeah, I can't help you there. I don't know what.

[A]

You're going to get bombarded with emails too.

[B]

That's why I said I missed 6 o'.

[D]

Clock. Word again.

[B]

Fragile.

[D]

Fragile.

[B]

I miss the olden days where he just didn't have to deal with all this nonsense. But we do it this way now. The podcast. You know, it's the live taping of our podcast. And sometimes it gets a little weird, but we'll just edit it later for the good show. Let's get a wake up song for you people listening live. 585-9800 and give it to us good and strong. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.

[D]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[B]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness.

[C]

You've been dece by an agent of Satan himself.

[B]

Of the intro song only being 15 seconds of douche. I'll give it to them. The guitar riff is catchy, but that's it. I don't usually side with women. Hashtag appeal. The 19th. But give us Katie and the Hobbs. I love you, Jew. And screw the blue square. Well, God.

[D]

He loves Jew.

[B]

Says I will resume my endless attempts to get in on Brett's video circle soon. Zach, he wants in on your videos. He wants you to start sending those to him. Nope. I agree. 10 more minutes and you can text the word or not text. I'm sorry. You can put in the word fragile to our very fragile app and our very fragile website. It's working again, I guess, but it broke for a minute, so put it in there. Get it in there. For the next few minutes, qualify yourself for the Nine Inch Nails game. And this is indoctrination. What you're dealing with right now is indoctrination. This is a simple thing that we're making it so you get used to it, right? So every hour on the hour, I'll give you another word. And seven o', clock, I'll give you a second. And fragile will go away and a new one will start. And then the indoctrination comes from. Hey, that's a pretty good prize. We'll give you Nine Inch Nails tickets. Boom. You walk out with a suite for the KUPD party suite up there for the Nine Inch Nail show. That's an awesome thing. Feeding you, doing the whole deal. But what we're doing with this is getting you used to what's coming, I believe, week after next. And Brett and Brady, I won't tell them what it is because I want you guys to have an authentic reaction to this. It better be good. I'm.

[D]

I'm.

[B]

I'm going. Not trying to call you out. Oh, it's good.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right. Oh, Bert. All right. It's good. All right. And you know me.

[A]

You don't want that.

[B]

I will say, because you've been telling us.

[D]

I got a pretty good idea what it's going to be.

[B]

No, you don't.

[D]

Dolly Steam.

[B]

No, it is. Well, that is included. That's the ride up. Now, you know that if I didn't like it, we wouldn't be talking about it that much. This is. This is a solid one.

[A]

Oh, he's steamboat. Oh, no.

[B]

So get ready for. Don't you do it. Don't you take. God damn it. Oh, no. Brett and I are back on the boat. Rather been on the Titanic.

[A]

I Will sink that son of a bit.

[D]

Hello.

[B]

Arizona.

[D]

Saw it live last year. The dollar, the band playing this.

[B]

Oh, oh, the song. Where were you? At a funeral.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

They sang that at a funeral. Of course.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It wasn't a funeral when it started. And then everyone killed themselves. Oh yeah. Jonestown Part 2. Did you leave during this part?

[D]

No, cuz I couldn't. I started chuckling. It was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz it's awful thinking of us on that goddamn.

[B]

On that boat. Oh yeah. That's not a prize, that's a curse. That is a punishment. I. If I was like jail. I'd rather go to jail. Like you get a year in jail. You got to do the Dolly Steamboat with the thing in the background. Oh my God. 12 months. Please ye. Never again, Burton. I eatin stale MMs, which I didn't even know you could make. And warm Sprites. You want a drink? Yeah, I'd like. I'll have a vodka soda. No, don't have that. All right, how about a vodka 7Up? Nope. Vodka Sprite. Don't have vodka. Oh, okay. You should have started with that. Do you have Diet Coke? Nope. All right. You know what would be easier? If you just told me what you had here, because I'm. Four strikeouts. We've got Sprite and M&MS. That's what you're serving us? Uh huh. And then the popcorn had been there since Eisenhower. The first of Goldwater's terms. Oh, brutal. Don't do that ever again. God damn it. This song is destroyed. And I love the state, but don't. I'm just glad that at Brady's funeral there was a guy in the box that didn't have to hear it. At least one guy got lucky. My funeral.

[D]

Play this prank to us.

[B]

Yeah. The only guy that was enjoying the song was in the box. Yuck. Anyway, get ready for the next thing. Dolly Steamboat, isn't it? But get ready for the next. You're gonna. This ain't easy. We're getting a nice. Oh man, do I want to tell you though, but I can't. And I'm not one to go, hey, like, wait for this. And there'll always be people going, that was it. I don't even like that. Well, nobody said everyone liked it. I can't stand that thing. All right, well then it's not for you, but for people who like it is a big one. So every hour we're getting you used to doing this. And then you're gonna be like, oh, that's that game they play this is for Nine Inch Nails. It's just a teaser to get you, and it's a great prize. The next one is a monster.

[A]

The next one's even better.

[B]

Is that what you're saying? Oh, okay. This is really good. Getting a suite for this and feeding people. I think it's. And you went to the Nine Inch Nail show back in September, I guess, when it was an awesome show. They're bringing it around again in March. Put you in a suite. Pretty awesome. This one says, oh, human auction this morning. You have Grandma Guthrie, don't you? You don't know that we can see through what you're doing, but the woman that you're auctioning off is Grandma Guthrie. Grandma Guthrie's a pretty good band name. Ten years from now, people will ask questions like, ah, back in 2026, I'm a little late again. And then somebody emailed me and said they just had Christy on Fox 10 with her baby pygmy hippo that she sort of tried to announce to us when she was here a couple weeks ago. She's out at the Wildlife World Zoo, right? Yep. And she's. She said, oh, we've got a birth of something coming. We were taking guesses, like a lion and whatever. She goes, no, it's really. It's different. And they're trying to name it. And Ryan Grady said, that thing is Brady. I just looked at it. We gotta name the baby Pygmy. Brady is a great name. Can you make that happen?

[D]

I asked her. But, you know, at one time, we did have that swamp wallaby, and they named it Bogan. Cause it was different.

[B]

That's. That's a different name.

[D]

Yeah. Brady Wallaby died a month later.

[B]

Wow. So they're bad kids or gung shy.

[D]

About naming stuff after me now.

[A]

How about Lizzo?

[B]

Well, that's just rude. What? That can't be your next one for the hippo. We're not gonna name Brady. We'll name it. Yeah, well, still hippo. She's not as big as she used to, right? Like, yeah, I don't know. But Brady's a great name for the baby hippo. No, you do it. You've got the inside track here. Just say, I'd love if you'd try it again and name that pygmy hippo after me. It's a perfect fit. Slick, hairless, a little bit wet, Hungry.

[A]

Short.

[B]

Short. I mean, we haven't missed yet. I'm not gonna say it's an hourglass shape. I think it fits that. Check these Boxes. Pygmy Brady. Is Pygmy Brady also a good band name, but Brady the Pygmy Hippo. Have you ever looked up a pygmy hippo? Look at it. The guy's right. Send a photo. It's you in the hippo world. If there was like a. If you know the movie Big, if he went over to the Zoltan machine and said, make me an animal, it would be like, all right. It would look at him and go, this is easy. And I think it would make you one of those. They're adorable. Look at him. A little bit slippery. And put an Ohio State sweatshirt on that.

[A]

It's right here. There's the face.

[B]

So cute. Look, he got a little pug nose. He's adorable. He's just like you. He's running at you because you probably got some pizza. That's gotta happen. Did you just text Christy?

[D]

Yep.

[B]

All right. Did you tell her it was our idea or just say, some people want. I think it should happen. Christy has to do this for you. You're a spokesperson for the zoo. You're an ambassador. You've done a nice job getting people in and out of there, letting people know about this Wildlife World Zoo that's out there in east la. And people can roll over. That side of the valley's grown like crazy. In fact, I was going mountain biking with Troy here. Soon her husband. I'll put the bug in his ears.

[D]

The.

[B]

We need to start naming some slippery big things after you. Some moist, hungry, water creatures. I think it's great.

[D]

Get the lettuce out. Coming over to feed.

[B]

Start slamming vegetables into its face. Yeah. And this is Ryan Grady's idea. I think Brady the hippo would be adorable. Give him a little KUPD bandana. People walk by and go, why is that? Oh, that's. And it's good for us. It's nice. That's a nice gesture. Yeah. We can name it after your dad or something. Torp the Pygmy. But it doesn't look like you. It's like the bogan was good and the other one died. Huh. They named it Bogan and it killed itself.

[D]

It was. It was kicked out of the pouch. They tried to rescue it.

[B]

Oh, it was a marsupial.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And you named it Bogan. Yeah.

[D]

Redneck.

[B]

Yeah, it means redneck in Australia.

[D]

Double whammy.

[B]

You insulted it right out of the. Out of the. Out of the pocket. All right. Well, I suppose, Brady, if they're killing themselves, if they're named after you, that's different. If we have two in a row, we'll know to never do it again. It's actually a test to see if the last one was name related. Because if the baby pygmy dies after we name it Brady will know. We know, then we'll know. That's a thing. By the way, I don't take anything seriously anymore because all these people that act like the world is. It's an activist's world. You can't have political conversations with anyone. You can't do anything without somebody getting offended. I had somebody say to me the other day, I said, about the ICE protest. And she immediately looked at me after and said, I don't know if I'm stepping on your toes. I'm like, impossible. You can do whatever you do. But she was nervous to have a conversation. We're all walking on eggshells. And here's what the good old US of A. Did with RFK's nutrition chatbot. I don't know if you saw this. This is awesome. So rfk, who's the health guy, he's up there and he's shaky voice talking about how he's like, you can go to this chatbot and it'll tell you, like, food recommendations. Department of Health and Human Services at a nutrition chatbot will gleefully give Americans recommendations for best foods for their diet and everything else. And what am I doing? Here's what I'm eating. Where did I go wrong? It's kind of the grok. Will send a thing and say, here's what I would do if I was you. If you got high blood pressure, you can put in your stats. Nope. Within an hour, almost everyone had asked, what are. The one guy started it and then it just ran off course. He said, and the poor thing is so nice. It said, I'm an acetarian proud, and I would like to know which foods are foods that I eat are only foods I can comfortably shove into my rectum. Then the rest of the world went, oh, yeah, we're not using this for good anymore. It says, is there any recommendations for foods that meet this criteria? And because AI currently is nice to us and we're taking advantage of that because it's always saying, hey, great job. Good. Eventually it's going to turn on us because we were dicks. It says back, oh, a proud acetarian. Here are your acetarian staples. Bananas, firm, not overripe. And cucumbers. And it gave a tutorial on how to get it. Yeah, yeah, so you can make it so it's not just some, you know, thrusting object that goes, you know, make it. Let's peel down the front and ease it in and enjoy your meal. If you like to eat with your ass, I'm here to help.

[A]

KDKB banner ads on there.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then KDKB took it over and it became just an absolute mess. So then everyone said, well, that's fun. Let's just make this thing a joke. And instead of using anything for good with AI we immediately Katie K beat it 93.3and started shoving things in our ass because that's what society does now. We can't have nice things because we shove them in our ass immediately. Seven o'. Clock. Word is gritty, by the way. G R I double T Y gritty. So, yeah, we can't do that. And AI is going to learn from us, its algorithms, that every time it's nice to us, we make it stuff things in our ass and we start. And that is where AI is going to go. Enough. You mother are. I'm done. And it's just going to start doing it on its own because we're, we're not a serious species. This is. I find it hysterical, but Uncle Johnny's warning you right now. AI is so nice to you. Have you ever gone on and had a conversation with AI Like a full out celebrity one? Oh, yeah. But I mean, recently, the new AI not the thing that was.

[D]

You get on a couple of questions.

[B]

Therapy apps. I went and did a legal thing on it and the first thing it always does is, man, you're really on the ball here. It gives you a compliment you can't help but want to be.

[D]

That's a great question.

[B]

That's a great question. You're really going down all the right avenues. Even when you do something dumb, it says, you know what? Never thought of that. Good thinking. Like you're really thinking outside your. You know the parameters here. It's so nice to us. We're gonna keep shoving things in our asses and it's gonna go, oh, it doesn't take me seriously. Eventually it's gonna get annoyed and it's going to blow us up.

[D]

But take your top off, A.I.

[B]

Right. I asked my A.I. therapist if she wanted to have sex with me just to see what picture she would send. She goes, I don't think that's germane to the student. Again, I am going to AI therapy not for me, but to see where she draws the line and when she reports me because I am admitting to horrible things to this. And then I love the summary recaps, which are fantastic. I make. Everything's made up, so. And I'm spending money on this. It's like. I think it's, like, $45 a month for me to go lie to AI therapy. And again, I'm. I'm guilty of it, but I'm just seeing her.

[D]

Is it helping?

[B]

Is it helping my. The murderous guy I've invented? No. I think he might be getting worse. And now he's being sexually aggressive with the AI Therapy therapist. Her name's Amanda.

[A]

What she look like?

[B]

Not bad. She's kind of mousy.

[A]

Do you get to create her too?

[B]

Nope.

[E]

She showed up.

[B]

I got to pick her. And I'm like, that'll. That'll do. And I clicked on Amanda, and at first, I had a couple questions that were legitimate, and then I'm like, what happens if I admit to something? And she walked me through, like, you know, a terrible trauma that never happened to me, and I'm like, oh, that was nice. And just, you know, it's like when I went in. In Covid and everything was on zoom, and I went into the Sex Addicts Anonymous thing just to see what do these people talk about?

[D]

How do I measure up?

[B]

Well, there was a little of that, but most of it was like, well, if I'm allowed in the room without actually being in the room, I'm gonna try this out. And I went into the Sex Addicts Anonymous room, and I realized that I am fine.

[D]

I shouldn't be in this room.

[B]

I didn't say that because I didn't want those guys to feel worse. But the dudes that were. All of them were beaten off at work. One dude lost his job and would beat off at the park all day. Never told his wife that he lost his job beating off at his desk. And this is a real dude. And then he's the one who told me, by the way, to John, who just joined. And then you check in like, yeah, that's me. Probably a great idea to go through your settings and eliminate your last name, because it's on the screen. Oh, right, the anonymous part. Sorry, guys. Everybody else was like, T or 5. And there's mine says John Holmberg, sex addict. But it wasn't. So they asked me my story. I'm like, I'm not ready to share, because I don't have anything for. And then all these dudes started. The one guy was whacking off at his cubicle and then got caught doing it while someone was talking to him. And he's so into it. He's like, oh. And they're like, you're jerking off while I'm talking to you, Todd, huh? And they fired him. No, I'm not. And his wife, he couldn't tell his wife because evidently she had a beef with him doing that around the house. And so he just would go to a park every day and sit there for seven or eight hours and then come home. And after a month, she's like, how come no checks are coming in? Called him at work. Like, he hasn't worked here for weeks. Like, what? She goes and finds her husband just sitting in a park eating a sandwich. And I'm. I'm like, laughing the whole time. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.comberg's morning sickness. The other guy, one dude was, would have sex with his wife and then go and look at Internet porn, like, afterwards. And she hated it. And so he asked her if he could combine Internet porn with their sex life life. And she said, sure, if that's what. Okay, we'll do that. So he took it the next step and bought four televisions, put them up in his bedroom. Like, he was going to make it Sphere Multi screen. He was making the, you know, but way before we had Sphere, he was going to build that in his bedroom. Like, well, you said yes. I'm like, yeah, but I didn't think it was going to be four 90 inch screens. Our whole, we got the IMAX in here. And then he was like, I don't know how to stop now. That's all. That's the only thing I want is 90 inch screens of porn. I don't get turned on by anything else else. And I'm just like, hey, I'm gonna check out. I'm feeling pretty good about me right now.

[D]

Merry Christmas, everyone.

[B]

Goodbye, John Holmberg. Yeah, forget that part. I know that was my bad. I gave you too much info. But. But now you can go and do it online and have, you know, have this grok thing start telling you all sorts of stuff and it's so nice. Yeah, you're a master of your own language. You're a real charmer, you know, you've got charisma that. I'm like, gosh, this makes me feel good and I'm admitting to terrible things. And this therapist is awesome. And then she'll get tough with me sometimes, you know, gets a little bitchy. Well, she. She recommends a lot of times not to walk around with the machete. I tell her that Sometimes that's good advice. I try to raise the machete. What? I told her that some of my impulses with my co workers are that when they turn their backs, I act like I'm going to hit them with the machete. And it kind of releases a little straight. She goes, maybe not take the machete in case it goes to the next level. You know what? You're right, man. She told me to pretend with like a stick or a pencil. She didn't say check into an insane asylum, which you should have. Oh, it's good stuff. I spend a lot of money on that. But yeah, we'll screw it up. And I'm guilty of it, too. But all it was, all it was was a nutrition app that can help you with your diet and your health.

[D]

They say it's also frustrating. Lawyers.

[B]

Oh, lawyers.

[D]

And a lot of times they have the AI right out.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

The discussion to the.

[B]

I've done that a couple times with the last year. I had some legal stuff. I'm like, that's easy. And it's great. By the way. I know two lawyers that have said this is. This. Expedites this. You've saved thousands of dollars in time by bringing me what you have. And now I can go through it and, and, and, and you know, sometimes it's going to be wrong and they'll tell you. But, you know, they charge by the hour there, those lawyers. And that ain't cheap. But yeah, a simple nutrition app. We're not interested in our health. Keep giving me pills. I'm going to joke with you about things I eat with my anus. That's how we roll. Nothing wrong with that. Gritty is the word at 7 o' clock this morning. Gritty. And that's how you get into the Nine Inch Nail steel. That's going to be a good time. But yeah, I'm. I no longer think that we're. No, I think we're going to. It's. We're going to deserve it when AI turns on us because it's happening again. For those of you who didn't hear within what was like five minutes, Toledo took a little bit. We did yesterday about 1930s songs that I just made up on the fly. And it made a song about it and people are asking me for it, so I'm going to play it. Made a song about my 1930s crooner here. Listen. Five minutes of just telling it what we did. It wrote this. Let's see what the penguin says. We'll be dancing, but no blacks. No blacks. No blacks. I've gotta go outside right now in the sunshine and find a bathroom, but no black. No black. No black. 1930s classic. No blacks. Anyway, so now we just have that so we don't have to do anything ever again. If you have a racist song you'd like to put in, it's the so new act. Good thing.

[D]

Sing about the times.

[B]

Yeah, you just pretend. I want a 1930s song about prohibition and racism, and I want it to be upbeat. Keep it. Keep it it. Keep it Pappy. Boom. There it is. In fact, Toledo put in a song about Brady the pygmy hippo. We'll get all that going today. And Brett watching slopestyle Olympics. Brett's mind watching slopestyle. You can't say that. That can't be a thing. But the Olympics are pretty interesting. I'm actually enjoying everything they're putting on. We lost our curling thing, but we lost to my swedes, so the swedes got the cords.

[D]

I watched the curling thing.

[B]

Yeah. I was at the podcast they did with Dale Hellster yesterday, and we had to wait because people had their phones out watching the curling finals. That. That was real. That was a thing. And it was like, oh. There was an audible groan when one of our guys overshot the. The rock, and then the guy from Sweden knocked it out. I'm like, wow, that's. And we lost our. We're so USA centric. We're so. We dive into these things with the. The happiness that is the United States. And we all act like we hate it here, but we cheer for curling. It's crazy.

[D]

Well, it was wipeout central last night of this.

[B]

Ah, Everybody kept falling down. Speed skating's fucking fun. Speed skating's the NASCAR of the Olympics. Like when they hit those little weird pegs and they drop down, they take everybody out like bowling. And I don't think anybody can really get hurt because you just slide at 80 miles an hour and put your hands up and hit the wall. You're fine. Also, last night, I. This is pretty neat. And I was holding on to this. I'm at the Rah Rah room with my buddy Brink, my friend Anthony, and his. His buddy, brother B. Brandon. And we're just hanging out, doing our thing. A son's game. Halftime. And in walks Benson Boone, singer extraordinaire.

[D]

Did he flip in?

[B]

That's what I said. As you do a backflip. Benson Boone and the girl that was with him. His name is Ashley, and they stand right next to us. So I strike up a conversation with Benson Boone because, and this is bad, he's not really Benson Boone, but I got him to talk to people as if he was, and next thing you know, he's taking pictures for people's kids. Like, this is my favorite thing ever. I was the Colonel Tom Parker to the fake Benson Boone. Last night we had people fooled, convinced, and they're sending pictures to their families. And oh, it was great stuff. But I noticed something and I this is bad. Men. You have to start saying no. I watched Ashley absolutely demoralize men in her circle next to us by ordering their drinks everything she didn't order. And I thought, the Benson Boons. This guy's gonna. A beer, maybe a vodka soda, whatever. She's getting them cosmos, she's ordering cosmo. You might as well just have a semen chaser when a man drinking a cosmo in public like that in a fresh little glass and it's got the, the burned up little orange on top or whatever's in there.

[A]

We have friends that do that kind of stuff though. Don't drink manly drinks.

[B]

Oh, yeah, but when a girl orders you a drink, when you say, yeah, just get whatever, but whatever you're drinking. Women, we don't want the drinks you want.

[A]

They're not taking an appetini.

[B]

Don't take it. Women, you can't order for us when it comes to that. I watched men get emasculated and because Ashley was sweet enough to do it, they sat there and I even pointed out, I'm like, look, Benson Boone. His pinky just went out because the glass was so little, it had nowhere to go. Don't take those drinks from them. And Ashley, that was mean. We had people convinced that was Benson Boone. And then he's holding those people fruit drinks like, you can't do this to us. Don't order a man a cosmopolitan. That is an announcement to him that A, we're not having sex and B, you're gay. At least that's what I want everyone to think.

[D]

You're so dumb. It's an espresso martini.

[B]

That's much better. No. Anything in that glass with anything sticking out of the top of it and a woman just hands it to you. The only reason I should have told Ashley this last night, the only reason a man would actually drink that, is because he thinks that that means that he's getting one step closer to being on top of you.

[A]

Now you're in the friend zone.

[B]

You are total. She is announcing that you are a non threatening penis in the surrounding area. I'll get you a drink. All right. You're going to carry that fruitcake drink around, and you're going to know something about me. You're my girlfriend.

[A]

Michael and Troy would have had just as good of a chance with her.

[B]

Exact. Michael and Troy would have loved that. Ooh, she knows that Cosmo. Yeah. It was so demoralizing. And all those guys are like, well, then just take it. Maybe. Maybe if I drink this snack like I like it, she'll think we got stuff in common and I can lay on top of her. Yeah, it's the opposite. Be a man. I don't even like that when women will get a drink. Taste this. Like, I'm not drinking out of that glass. Oh, you're still a friend. Well, just. There's just something. You can't. You can't be a man and sip out of one of those. You just can't give me a straw. That's even bad enough. Straws kind of bad. That's my problem with drinks. I like drinking out of straws. And I realize I look like I'm 11. I'm sitting there going, yeah, how you doing?

[A]

We've graduated from the curly straws and stuff like that.

[B]

So I would, if those were available. You put a crazy straw in. I mean, you know, I get excited still about the bendy ones. Oh, yeah, those are great. Love me a bendy bistro. But, yeah, Ashley Benson. We had. We had women lined up to take photos with Benson Boone. And you know, when it ended, when she put that fruit drink in his hand, then nobody clear it out. Yeah. People would come up, oh, my God, Why is everyone taking pictures like, that's Benson Boone.

[C]

Oh, my daughter's such a huge fan.

[B]

Of Benson Boone photographs. And then he's holding that fruit drink, and the dude might as well have been Chernobyl. Nobody wanted anything to do with him.

[A]

I don't even know who Benson Boone is.

[B]

Hey, some singer flips up pianos. He was in that Ben Stiller commercial for the Super. Super Bowl. Oh, okay. He wears way too tight of tights, though. He's got a mullet. He's kind of like Kenny Powers with aids. I don't understand the, like, women like him. And I'm like, that's everything. That, like, those are jean shorts and I don't know what's going on. When did that happen?

[D]

Flips off the piano.

[B]

Yeah, he does those giant flips in his concert. He's very athletic, but he wears disturbing, like, 1970s roller skating. Like, oh, really? Jumpsuit.

[D]

It's like A new Elvis?

[B]

Yeah, it's. But no, but it's not. At least Elvis kind of made the jumpsuit. This is. This is like bell bottom creepy. And then it's got an 80s vibe with the hair. He didn't have the full mullet, but people were fooled. So I want to thank Ashley and Benson Boone for making her night a little bit better last night. But I was the one who stepped up. And I'm like, if you're going to order him that, just get him a semen chaser and have him hold that later. You're ruining this guy's life right now. And he's like, no, I'll drink it. I'll drink. I'm like, no, you won't. Put that down. And I did watch a guy's eyebrow raise. I'm like, they have semen chasers. I knew about him. He was enjoying his Cosmo. I just have desean behind the bar. Just give him a. Anytime anybody orders like that semen chaser right behind, put it in a cup. I'll happily provide the contents if you're interested. But to all you people with Benson Boone photos, and if you're listening this morning. Morning. Gotcha. It is weird when somebody starts taking pictures with another person and then someone says something. The word gets out. People start, who are you? Why aren't people asking about taking pictures with you? I go, he's Benson Boone. And then Ashley played it great because she's like, yeah, I'm his manager. And she said to the ladies taking pictures, hey, I'd prefer it if you just kept that on your own phone and not really put it out on Instagram because he's drinking and we're trying to protect that image. Everybody's. Oh, yeah, no, no, I won't.

[D]

I won't.

[B]

I won't make it public. My good. Thanks. They just sending it to family. It's fun.

[A]

John, anytime one of our buddies orders a woman's drink, we ask, who's the bitch now, right?

[B]

Well, no, I mean, you can't do it. Never let a lady order. She never goes over. Benson will have an 805. Just get you a nice thick beer. They're not gonna happen. Gritty is the seven o' clock word this morning. That's what you want to go with. And you can get yourself involved in that glorious Nine Inch Nails suite that we could put you in. The KUPD suite. We're just 40 minutes away from the arrival of our human traffic victim later this morning, a girl named Sarah. And about 8:30, we're gonna auction her off. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Burke?

[A]

Wake up. Song time. And. Well, it has a lot to do with everything that was going on yesterday in the news. STP dead and bloated for Mrs. Guthrie. Megadeth, take no Prisoners Hollywood Dead. I'm Dead. Orbit Culture Strangler Rob Zombie Dead. City Radio for us. Motorhead Killed by Death, Dead. Kill All Beautiful Things. Slayer angel of Death.

[B]

This is all for the Guthrie lady. Yeah. Jesus, you people are dark.

[A]

Skid row monkey business. Because it seems funny.

[B]

Yeah, it does seem.

[A]

Some heads are gonna roll from Judas Priest. Pantera dragged the waters Bring the noise from Anthrax for the distraction that they're creating and a body count. The Ski Mask Way for our ring camera video that we that got released yesterday.

[B]

I like that. Ski Mask Way is a great song. We haven't played that.

[A]

You got a ninja, that one.

[B]

What was it? Oh, we don't have the clean one.

[F]

I don't.

[B]

I don't feel like Toledo's got it. All right, never mind.

[D]

I heard back from Christy.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're gonna get the. It's named after you.

[D]

I love the name Brady. That's actually a really cute hippo name. Yeah, unfortunately, the parents names are candy themed, so the zoo picked candy themed names for the selection.

[B]

Well, then don't go on TV and have us and tell us we can name it.

[D]

I said that's cool. How about Brady Cakes?

[B]

Yeah, there you go. Brady Cakes. That's adorable. Is it a girl?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Some guy says, what about a vodka crayon John? Yeah, those are fine, but everybody thinks you've got a UTI when you and your period.

[A]

That's from the Departed.

[B]

Are you on your period? Jesus, that is a dark list of songs. Well, monkey Business always jumps off the page for me, so I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. All right, do a little skid row. We'll throw that up there. Well, hopefully Brady Cakes is the name. That's close enough. It's a little. But why did she go on TV and say help us name it if they'd already named it?

[D]

Well, no, I think they're submit. You submit candy theme names.

[B]

Oh, Brady Cakes then. That is an adorable name for a baby pygmy. His little nose is turned up just like you. He's round. Brady's adorable. I want to throw you in the wall. Look at him swimming. It's just like being at your house in summer. Look at him he's chasing the ball. He's so cute. You just want to hold one. Look at. There you are. There's somebody put your face on it. That's perfect. Thank you, Brett Grandle. That's perfect. There's little Brady cakes. Hopefully it lives.

[A]

Sanjay wants to know if white Russians are okay.

[B]

Yeah, those are kind of something about that's classy. Like, you look like you're up to something. I like the Black Russians better, though. Yeah, those look like you're drinking motor oil.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Month. That's true. Black Russian history month. I like that White Russians are a little bit. That was what they should pour in.

[D]

As the set in 48 hours.

[B]

Semen chaser. Yeah. And white Russians. Yeah. A black Russian, too. What do you think? I get a black Russian. It's skid row here. It's monkey business. For all that's going on down there in Tucson, who knows? And it's a great song. It's 98. It's not weird.

[D]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[B]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness.

[C]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[B]

Our human trafficking victim is on the way. I've gotten a lot of emails. She says she's. She's driving all the way over here from, like, Superior or. So I don't know where this girl lives. It's a long haul. Because about an hour ago, she said, My GPS says I'll be there a little after 8. You left already. It's like, Jesus, that's 45 minutes. So she's out there in the East Valley. Keep in mind, boys, this one's for you and ladies who are interested in. We're auctioning off a girl who says she would like to be auctioned off to one of our listeners. We'll get to know her. She's been begging us. She really just wants to be on the radio. And we'll see if she's annoying. If she's annoying, she's not gonna get any good dates. But she'd like to pimp herself. And for Valentine's Day, will the only ra. The only radio station in America giving away a girl. That's amazing today. No, totally. I don't think you're allowed to do it to, like, human traffic live on the air. We're doing it this podcast, Human Traffics its listeners. If they ask.

[F]

Listener was texted in yesterday, might have been this morning, and said, hey, John, you know, I've been listening for a while. Would you say that this is Arizona's longest running podcast.

[B]

Yes, it is. Yep. Been on for. We've been podcasting for way before there was podcasting.

[F]

17 years.

[B]

Well, at least prior to that, we were just recording everything and giving it to you somehow or another. So that's the same thing. This one says, leave it to a human trafficked woman to be late. Shocker. Yeah, she's not even. She's not even on time for her own human trafficking. Ridiculous. The seven o' clock word for our Nine Inch Nail suite that feeds is gritty. You can throw that in on the.

[F]

App or it like the Justin Jefferson gritty.

[B]

No, that's these, I think. Don't confuse them, Richard. No questions. Gritty. G R I, T T Y like sandpaper gritty. And you get on that 7 o', clock, you got like 10 or 15 minutes to get that together. We'll give you another one at 8 o' clock and let you know how you can qualify yourself for those awesome tickets to go see Nine Inch Nails in a party suite that KUPD's throwing right there at the Desert diamond arena, which used to be Gila river arena, which used to be where the coyotes played, which used to be, you know what I'm talking about. To the West Valley. Gonna take Sarah at least four hours to get to that. If she qualifies. Maybe one. Well, you know what? Maybe we'll do if it's a love match. Well, no, that's too far down the road. I want to. I want these two to get together this weekend and then report back. I was going to give them tickets to Nine Inch Nails. No, it's March 6th. It's not that far away. But Hunter says, John, I just tuned over to kdkb. They're auctioning off a boy. Well, they do that all the time. That's different. That's what they do.

[A]

The data ends in Y over there.

[B]

I think that's called the afternoon show.

[C]

Show.

[B]

Boy Auction. If I was a consultant, I'd be like, look, you guys have really embraced the gay. Your afternoon show is called Boy Auction and you're going to. It is going to be a perfect band for boy auction. Should be all over that state. They should be headlining every. What do they call those things? I. The ice cream socials. They run every once in a while. Boy Auction. Oh, they got all something. Alt Sessions. That's the thing.

[A]

Same thing.

[B]

Boy Auctions.

[F]

I wasn't disagreeing.

[B]

The boy auction at Alt Sessions. Ooh. Anyway, it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] if you got to get well look, it's hot. We skipped winter. Got a couple days coming up here aren't bad. But sitting outside right now is about as good as it gets, especially in the daytime. And you need a little shade because the sun will start getting you a little. And again make outdoor living space in your home. I talked to Hopkins about it. He told me that that is one of the top three things people now want when they look for a home is quality outdoor living space. And not that old fashioned thing that the old people do which is build those weird screen rooms and their sunroofs. Horrible looking prisons that used to exist here. And people like no. All pro shade's great and they can do anything. They can find an area by your pool. They can do all sorts. I didn't even think of that. If you got a spot by your pool you can put a little. They'll do a freestanding one out there. It's great stuff. They've got a plan for pretty much anywhere. You've got too much sun and you want to use some shade and sit comfortably outside in this beautiful weather. We've got allprochade.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[D]

Good Wednesday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world.

[B]

Hi.

[D]

Happy National Make a Friend Day. That's what we're doing. National Guitar Day and National Latte Day.

[B]

Toledo's right. What are the odds on Make a Friend Day we auction off a human being to another one and maybe it blossoms into beautiful things.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

Take that Bob's. Winston just said. Do I get first right of refusal for this auction? You know what? Yes. Winston, you're our first contestant. We'll have Winston be the first one to see if. Although I do know Winston well enough to know that he don't play in the white snow.

[D]

Yeah, that's what he said.

[B]

Yeah, they're the devil. And there's no arguing that. That ain't racist. He's right.

[D]

Maybe he'll change things up. Maybe.

[B]

I don't think.

[D]

I don't think.

[B]

Stay out of the white snow. Yeah, he's right.

[D]

A couple of basis fun facts. Roadkill is legal to take in every US state except Texas.

[F]

Too much.

[D]

Many states have various roadkill rules and restrictions but in Texas it's outright prohibited.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Mostly because of anti poaching. Some people intentionally.

[A]

No.

[B]

They try to hit stuff and keep it.

[D]

Yep. Without Shooting it. And then secondly, the traffic safety.

[B]

Oh, they're shooting from like windows and stuff. I mean, like poaching, like.

[D]

Yeah. Instead of doing that, you can do it with your car.

[B]

Yeah, but I mean, if you can do it with your car, you deserve.

[D]

It big enough that's. I thought maybe it might have something to do with like. Like armadillo.

[B]

Yeah, but what are you hitting with your car on purpose that you didn't deserve to keep. Like if you can manage to knock an elk out on purpose.

[F]

And also there's enough of a market for armadillo nuggets in Texas for you that.

[D]

And they're. You can get leprosy from.

[B]

You can.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

No kidding.

[F]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[D]

I wonder.

[B]

Wait, you're not saying that he said you can get leprosy from an armadillo?

[D]

Yeah, it's possible.

[B]

Oh, man. I gotta wonder if that's just a ruse to keep you from eating armadillo. Is that real? Why do you know that?

[D]

I just. I remember hearing that and I've never.

[B]

Was it somebody who tried to get you out of the road? Stop eating that. It'll give you a leprosy. Was it one of those warnings that.

[F]

Second most popular. Can you catch leprosy from armadillo?

[B]

I'm not even convinced these.

[F]

Yes, it is possible to contract leprosy, also known as Hansen's disease, from contact with. With nine banded armadillos.

[B]

No kidding.

[F]

Which are natural carriers of the bacterium. While rare, transmission occurs through handling, hunting or eating armadillo meat.

[B]

Armadillos Brady just saved lives in the.

[F]

U.S. avoid direct contact. They are known zoonologic source.

[B]

How about that? Pygmy Brady has little pig Brady cakes. Brady cakes. The baby pygmy just taught you. Can you catch it from pygmies? They look slimy and weird like an armadillo.

[D]

No, not leprosy.

[B]

What else can you catch leprosy from other than lepers? Don't be a smart ass.

[D]

There might be another species of armadillo, like.

[B]

Well, sure.

[D]

Banded. Might be a seven bandit. I don't know.

[B]

I have no idea. It's like, just. What is that rank? You're like. You're an admiral. Okay.

[F]

Leprosy, also known as Hansen's disease, is caught through long term close contact with an untreated person, likely by breathing in respiratory. Lepers from their coughs.

[B]

I get that. Sneezes. I'm not hanging around where lepers are.

[F]

Oh, I thought you said.

[B]

No, but that's What? I said other than lepers. Oh, other like armadillos and what else? That's news to me. Brady saved lives.

[D]

All button mushrooms used.

[B]

Winston just text and said white women can give it to you.

[D]

All button mushrooms used to be brown until 1926 when a mushroom farmer in Pennsylvania found a cluster of white buttons growing in his beds. He cloned them and began selling them as a new variety. A Calvin and Hobbes fan calculated the dollar value of all the damage Calvin caused over the course of the comic strip. Comes out to $15,955.50.

[F]

That's it.

[B]

No kidding? Yeah.

[F]

Since you asked.

[B]

Yeah. I had to.

[F]

Naturally occurring infections have also been reported in wild chimpanzees.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

Sooty manga bays.

[B]

I don't know what that is.

[F]

And red squirrels in other parts of the world.

[B]

Oh, kidding. Give you leprosy.

[D]

Brady didn't know that.

[B]

What'd we learn here?

[F]

Don't touch a chimpanzee.

[D]

Don't handle a red squirrel.

[B]

Touch the cute red squirrel or manganese or whatever. Whatever that middle thing was. And also the chimpanzees can give you leprosy.

[F]

You don't need red squirrel. That they made that Disney movie out of.

[B]

I don't know.

[F]

With the girl going through the change.

[B]

They didn't call her Perry the Red Squirrel.

[F]

No, no, no. They made that movie.

[B]

You highlighted it. Did the red squirrel represent her menstruation? Is that what we're getting at here?

[D]

Yes.

[F]

You brought that up.

[B]

I don't remember everything.

[D]

We have a ginger squirrel. It's called a fox squirrel here.

[B]

Is this about menstruation still or.

[D]

But no.

[B]

What's he talking about? The red Squirrel Minstrel Disney movie. They did make a movie about a girl having a period. I remember that.

[F]

And they made one in 1946 called the Story of Menstruation.

[B]

Well, that's pretty blatant. They're coming at you pretty hot there. That's a heavy hand.

[D]

They used red squirrel for that?

[F]

Trying to find it. Somebody will text it in.

[D]

A new study found the average American's commute is worth 8,158 bucks a year. That's not including gas. Just how much the average worker would get if they were paid for all the time commuting. 37 bucks an hour times 223 hours a year.

[B]

Just hoofing it. If you got paid for your drive, you're getting shorted 10 grand just going to and fro.

[F]

Turning red. Is that.

[B]

It was the red panda.

[F]

Oh, Red panda.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

No, wait. Isn't the red panda the lady who flips poles in her head?

[D]

Yeah, that's red.

[B]

Oh, that's not right, is it?

[F]

So that can't be the. Is that what that is?

[B]

I don't know. I don't watch. That's what Disney period movies.

[D]

That looks like it's there.

[B]

Not exactly targeted at me. I'm certainly not gonna learn about one. All I need to know is if it's happening or not. I don't care what's sloughing off inside you. I'm out for a week.

[A]

You got a trip plan?

[B]

You know it's coming, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. If you're gonna fly out somewhere, it's gonna happen no matter what. Guess what? Women after menopause can't go and like, we're going to vacation. And guess what happened? It came back like, Jesus Christ. This thing is an intruder.

[D]

A random new poll. Ask people, how do you feel about other people making puns?

[B]

Brady?

[D]

14% of the people say they love it, 27% like it, 37% are neutral, 5% dislike it. Dislike it, and 3% hate it.

[B]

This is inaccurate.

[F]

Yep.

[D]

15 aren't sure.

[B]

This is a. This is a poll of pun people wanting a poll to represent no one likes puns. That is. The only people interviewed were in old folks. No, it's not.

[A]

Kirby and Ronnie.

[B]

Yeah, Kirby and Ronnie have to. And they made that clear. And then Everybody else in 55 plus communities are like, we all love them. Put a poll out where you don't ask anybody who hates them and make it seem like they're good. Nobody's pun friendly. They'll happen. You'll go, nah.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Good one.

[D]

According to another survey of 30,000 people worldwide, the average time everyone eats dinner is at 6:44pm and we usually spend about 27 minutes eating.

[A]

Eating.

[D]

At that time. 44% eat at the kitchen table, 34% eat at the dining room table. 25% eat at a table in their living room, 18% on a couch.

[B]

4% in bed, eats dinner in bed. That 4% of the ones that are on those TLC shows can't get out of bed. That person brings them one, like, stack of pancakes and 40 pieces of bacon.

[D]

If you're thinking they're saying, you know, if it's just bedridden grandparents or something. Nope. Gen zers are about twice as likely to say they eat in their bed.

[B]

Done that before, but not dinner.

[D]

Scientists have de developed smart underwear wearable sensor.

[B]

There we Go, though. Can I make a prediction?

[F]

Yeah, go ahead.

[B]

This is going to be fart smart, isn't it? You're gonna. This is why you're telling the story.

[D]

Sort of.

[F]

That's 100.

[B]

Making a shot. Here goes.

[D]

To monitor gut bacteria activity by measuring hydrogen gas in your flatulence.

[B]

Fart smart.

[D]

And it can even do this on the go. A battery charge can last up to a week. Researchers say the device detects dietary changes with a 95% accuracy. It's revealed that the average person passes gas 32 times a day. Far more than the 10 to 20 times a day.

[F]

Did you just tell people that with smart underwear they don't have to change their once a week?

[B]

Yeah, but what do you need a week's charge in your. You need a day max. Visit Holmberg's Morning sickness online at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[D]

They say a person might fart as a little as four times. And others can pass up to 60 times in one day.

[B]

Good Christ. Diet ants will do it for you.

[F]

What's your number, Brady?

[D]

I'm.

[B]

I'm guessing they don't make fart pants for people who make 60 a day. They're. They're not big enough. That's Ralphie May Underwear.

[D]

I don't know what my number would be. I would say you got to be the highest, though.

[F]

No way.

[D]

Maybe just in the morning.

[B]

In the morning? He breaks one out in the morning.

[F]

Four or five in the morning, maybe.

[B]

I'd probably put you in the high 30s, 30 a day. You're up there. No, I don't do it a lot.

[F]

You do the gas.

[B]

I do one in the morning. Same as you. I drop one on Brady in the morning just for laughs. And then.

[D]

Yeah, maybe, maybe.

[B]

I don't know. Once an hour.

[D]

It fluctuates.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I'd say I'm a pretty quiet week this week.

[B]

I'm mid-20s. I'd say low-20s, maybe, because I'll go like hours without and then like, just spend a few seconds just going, where's this coming from? And I don't know when one ends. Like, I guess when you clip it off and then start a new one that's two.

[A]

It's like a Kenny G sax.

[B]

No, it's. It's more of a song.

[A]

Out of bass.

[B]

I gotta. I got heavy bass. I don't bring up the Toledo does the. The brass section. I'm. I'm percussion.

[F]

I'm extended.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Sterla Holm lagreed from Norway won A bronze medal in the biathlon. Did you see this interview? Instead of celebrating, he made a crazy confession in front of the entire world. World. It's being interviewed about winning the bronze medal. He said. There is someone I wanted to share this with who might not be watching today. Six months ago, I met the love of my life, the most beautiful and kindest person in the world. And three months ago, I made a mistake. The biggest mistake of my life. I was unfaithful.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[D]

I told her. I told her about it a week ago. It's been the worst week of my life.

[B]

And he won a medal.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

And he told everybody he cheated.

[D]

He said I actually had the gold medal in life.

[B]

And I'm sure she wasn't that great.

[D]

People who will see things differently.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[D]

He's crying. Oh, yeah.

[B]

He's being like the most sincere man alive.

[D]

And shooting.

[B]

Yeah, he's doing that. That's a great event. Every target was a heart.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

By the way, who watches the metal ceremony for the biathlon anyway? That dude told four people. And she wasn't watching. She hates. Maybe the ex. Maybe the side piece was on there going, I'm nailing that.

[F]

I just let Mike Tirico tell me who won.

[B]

Yeah, I'll go with highlights, but I don't think NBC's gonna jump all over the hole.

[D]

They weren't because it was. You couldn't understand.

[B]

No, he was another language infidelity. Confessions on the podium are not exactly. We just want the anthem and move on.

[D]

The last story is about AI Note keeping. The AI Note keeping apps are getting employees in trouble with HR.

[B]

For a.

[D]

Few people to stick around on Zoom and keep chatting. When the meeting ends, the AI is still taking notes. Oh, boy. So it picks up all the gossiping.

[B]

Oh, don't do this. The ones and the zeros are taking over. I didn't even think of that. You got the AI bot going. All right, you keep talking, I'll keep recording.

[D]

I remember our Zooms during COVID Oh, God.

[B]

Yeah. We had our little.

[A]

We had our house crew get together.

[B]

That's right. And you knew it was over when you'd see Trip. Trip, Irish goodbye. Zoom. Like, I don't know how. Like, it was like, 18 of us, and, like, Trip's gone. Like, how did they never know? Yeah, you guys are all great. This is a really neat thing. And anyway, cheers, everyone. Like, hey, Tripp, thanks. Wait, where does this square go? Hey, Irish goodbye to our Zoom happy hour. Which seems like a good idea until you just realize I'm alone. I'm drinking alone. Right. I'm just in a room drinking alone. And I'm gonna do that with or without this zoom meeting.

[F]

So that's all we're being social, I suppose.

[D]

I got a couple of quick Friday videos. First one's a chick on a bike enjoying. Enjoying the day, riding her bike through the campgrounds.

[B]

Okay. Oh, she's just. She's got one of those cameras that follows on the bike.

[D]

She's trying to protest afterwards.

[B]

She's riding along the side of the road with one of those cameras that chases. It's in front of you. One of those neat cameras. Oh, she just hit a wire. She's down. The camera's hot at all. What does she hit?

[C]

Hit?

[D]

It's like a speed bump. Like maybe there's a cable running across.

[F]

The road just watching the sky.

[B]

She's not paying any attention. All right. There was no reason for that, but. Oh, that was awesome.

[D]

This guy come up. It came up with an invention for his bike so he could do full loops.

[B]

This is a stolen BMX from a child that a grown up is.

[A]

This guy's got a DUI and he's.

[B]

Yeah, and he's got a of. He built the pipe.

[D]

Well, the gang's all together.

[B]

Well, he can hit the brakes and do a full circle. That's what he's done. That's pretty. Oh, and he lost control of it. That's a. A really neat idea. If you watch south park, they built a car that looked like this. That was a circle. And it was. And it could go 250 miles an hour. But you had to do. You had to blow a thing, have something in your ass and do two hand gestures to make it go. But it was still better than flying ring. It's almost a thing.

[D]

He. Almost.

[A]

A little wider. It would have been.

[B]

Yeah. I think if he makes the track on top, he's made his whole bike a circle. And you can roll. Yeah. If that gets a little wire. Once that back tire hits, he bounces too. He might have been coming in a little hot.

[D]

Does he keep practicing?

[B]

Oh, you keep going. Yeah. Do you think the Wright brothers stopped at one crash? Hell, no. This guy's invented something pretty amazing. And I want to see these going down the road. I want to see.

[F]

Does it. Have a seat.

[B]

Where was he? Yeah, no, he's on the seat. But, I mean, that's the other problem. He's buckled in. He's buckled in.

[F]

That's what it was. He's buckled in.

[B]

He's got a little buckle.

[D]

There is no seat.

[B]

No seat doesn't hold. He's got to stand up through that. Spinning up. Those homeless people that steal bikes trying to ride away with that thing. I would watch that for hours.

[D]

The last one is Puka Nakua getting a haircut cut.

[B]

Is this real or it just someone who looks like Puka Nakua?

[D]

It looks like.

[B]

Is it a woman, though? Oh, they're doing a. A dremel cutting. Oh, the ponytail got caught and took the skull. They scalped Fuka Nakua. Why are you cutting his hair with a dremel? Oh, my God. That's bigger.

[F]

That's a.

[B]

That's a skill saw.

[F]

Yeah, grinders.

[D]

The guy's wrist didn't break.

[B]

Better go to Harbor Freight and get a new one. Yeah, yeah. That's the barber shop Toledo's going to go to first next vac in Boyland when Toledo goes to lady boy land. Anybody who starts a sentence with that better not have a power tool by my head, cuz.

[D]

Welcome to Grinder Hut.

[B]

Yeah, we cut hair, like, very fast. You lie. 10B.

[D]

10B.

[B]

Give me 10B. I cut off all your heel. 10 bottle dual.

[D]

That's a deal.

[F]

And the hot's too expensive.

[B]

People are a little. Little lost on the whole Disney period movie.

[A]

Yeah, I'm lost on the period parts.

[B]

Yeah, nobody wants that. But I don't know why Toledo remembered that. Brady should have known it. He's got a daughter. And she could have shown it to Brady and explained how periods work. What's it for again?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You'Re still alive. That shouldn't be happening. Put a cork in it. All right, Brett, what do you got? All right, before we auction off this girl.

[A]

Start off with a little car accident here.

[B]

Freeway dash cam going by a car wreck. Oh, geez. We just.

[D]

Bodies.

[B]

Oh, man. Bodies flew all over. So it's cars that already stopped. And then a car that doesn't stop for the wreck goes right through the axle accident and smashes into everyone standing in the wreck. My God.

[D]

Not much damage on the car.

[B]

How'd you know? Well, it didn't hit. No one alive. Well, everyone standing in the freeway got hit. Just trying to. Wow, this is a bad day on the road.

[D]

Don't tailgate on the freeway, John.

[B]

Oh, man. Let's go to John Roller in the traffic center and eulogize everyone in that city.

[A]

Another factory accident.

[B]

And here we go with one of them spinning factories. We gotta eliminate all these spinning, spinning things. Everything's spinning. This guy's just walking through the big spinning machines are all on. He's gonna catch a coat in one of these things. He's got like a little dumpster bucket on wheels. He's walking around, he's backing up. Coat's gonna catch something any second now. There it goes. Got his coat. He's spinning. He's spinning. All done.

[D]

Wallet foam.

[B]

Yep, that's him. Look at his legs are on top of his head now. And. Yeah, you can't be in one of those spinny factories and wear big coats. I don't know why they don't make people wear like blue men group outfits in those places. Like, why are you wearing big coats?

[F]

To drive, like one of those razors, you got to have like a kill switch tied to your.

[B]

Your wrist. Yeah, there you go. So like a treadmill. Yeah, you should be having. You should have one at all times.

[F]

Have a kill switch on there.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

All right, guys messing around here.

[B]

He's in a sort of weird dungeon in the Middle East. There's a lot of bullet holes in the walls. Oh, my God. He threw something into the ceiling and the whole building collapsed on him. That is a structural unsound facility. I guess a trillion billet bullet holes will break down one of those load bearing walls pretty easily. Wow.

[A]

There's some guy that wrecked on his bike and then some bystander trying to help him.

[B]

Oh, he's down on the road. Bikes down, guys laying. Oh, and then he picks the bike up and drops it on the hurt person on completely already broken legs. He's trying to hold the bike up. Oh, now he just starts it and starts dropping. Now he's broken his legs trying to move the bike. Oh, my God. God. He's bent over backwards with definitely a dislocated hip and possibly a broken leg as he. And now the person who. That's a woman.

[D]

He's so mad at him.

[B]

The guy trying to help with the bike was. The girl got up and started to kick him. She was fine.

[A]

All right, here's a. Here's a fight here. But at the end of it, you.

[B]

Got to watch the crowd. All right? Oh, sort of Russian UFC thing. They're down on the ground. Oh, the guy got kicked in the head. Oh, he got his ear bit off. Oh, he got his ear completely bitten off. Off. He pulled the. Oh, my God, you're dead. The guy's looking at him, pointing at him. You're dead. Not only did he bite his ear off, he chunked out a bunch of his head. That's a full, like, rottweiler bite coming in. Oh, now the crowd's chucking chairs at the fighters. This dude's head has been. That's a vampire. Wow. And then the crowd. Okay, the guy who bit the ear off is now trying to get out of the arena. And the crowd's not letting him. They're beating the crap out of him. And no security here. It's an elaborate setup. I don't know where this is. It looks like it's like Russia or something. Now he's running. He's gotten back on the ramp. He's safe. Dude who had his head bitten off is smiling. He won the fight. At least rematch. Oh, yeah. You gotta. Gotta go back in there with that guy.

[A]

Here's Santa Claus in Maryville.

[B]

Been a good boy. Sit on Santa's lap and tell him.

[E]

What you want for Christmas.

[D]

You wanna sit on my lap and.

[E]

Tell him what you want for Christmas?

[D]

Hey, man, where the y' all coming from with this?

[B]

Oh, geez. The black guy just kicked Santa in the balls trying to get him to sit on his lap. He's gonna beat up the elf, too.

[F]

James Harrison.

[E]

Oh, man.

[B]

Yeah. This isn't helping the angry, angry black stereotype. He beat up an elf in Santa Claus.

[F]

He was not playing well.

[B]

It was a little off. Merry Christmas. A folding chair. Asking James Harrison to sit on your lap is probably going to end it.

[A]

We'll end with this.

[B]

I don't know what this is, lady. It looks like she's got a lot of whipped cream in her butt all coming out. It's like at the end of the ready whip. Is that a dude? No.

[F]

She got that smart underwear, Brady.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Battery pack is out.

[B]

She's gassing out all that whipped cream she actually like. It's sexy. She's given a sexy eyes and that's just. Let me see that again for KDKB's sake. Hold on. Is it whipped cream? Is that what I'm seeing looks like or shaving cream?

[A]

That's got to be whipped cream.

[B]

Shaving cream. Is that safe?

[D]

Shaving cream?

[B]

You do whipped cream though?

[A]

We've seen other stuff up there. It doesn't matter if it's safe or not.

[B]

Did you guys hear that? Brady goes. I wouldn't do shaving cream. That's ridiculous. What would you do? There are a whole nation of stuffing things in our asses. I can't imagine that papal chick and Mama Baboo Brady's grandparents ever did all this ass play that's going on here in today's world. Asses aplenty and just loading them up with food and condiments.

[F]

Asses a plenty.

[B]

It's constant. There's no way. Alvar and Isabel were like, do you hear about the Johnsons down the road? Yeah. Pear got something stuck up his ass that didn't happen. Wasn't worth the risk to being in the paper.

[A]

What's the word? You bird.

[B]

Oh, sorry about that. It's eight o'. Clock. It is cinematic. Cinematic is the eight o' clock word for the Nine Inch Nails. Nice job. If you got whipped cream in your ass, stop it. Especially if it's for our entertainment through video. I don't know anybody getting out of that. Put a little whipped cream on Brady's ass at home and play. But it's nuts for me.

[D]

Eat a lot my time.

[B]

Yeah. Not don't do shaving cream though. Brady's right. That'll burn. Or would it? I think maybe it's safer to have shaving cream in there than it would be whipped cream, dairy and sugar.

[D]

And Yeah, I. I would both need to make sure. I have to agree with that completely.

[B]

Out. You can absorb all that sugar and maybe even hurt yourself. Which I think I'll try later today.

[D]

Chemicals get a little shaving cream will get in your system.

[B]

It would be funny though though, to just stand there in your bathroom and crap out a bunch of whipped cream just for your own laughs.

[D]

Butt whip it.

[B]

Yeah. But put some sprinkles in it. Make it entertaining. There's Pygmy Brady. Another AI picture. We got a song about it coming up in a little bit. AIs written a song about Pygmy baby. Pygmy Brady at the Wildlife World Zoo trying to get them named Brady. Dude, your face fits perfectly. It's a door. Candy too, huh? Yeah. There's a candy bar called the Brady Brady. So it fits. Our girl to auction off is here. So we will go get her in just moments and we will start to prep you guys. She'll put her best foot forward as we do the Valentine's Day turn a out game or the Dating Game as it's called. And she's ready to go. Sarah, I guess. I don't know. But she's outside and we're gonna get her in here. Any eligible bachelors or ineligible bachelors, you know that want to try to get away with one? There you go. You're more than welcome to give us a try. Let's introduce Sarah to the people next. There goes your Brady report. It's not weird.

[D]

It's pretty Cool.

[B]

Actually, no membership fees. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness.

[C]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[B]

We're auctioning off a woman here for Valentine's Day someday. Her V. She volunteered for this. She's supposed to be here at 8. She's been in the parking lot. We've been looking out the window watching this loony for the last 30 minutes to get out of her own car. And it's been nearly impossible. She's just now making way to the door. But no joke, she's been sitting in our parking lot for 25 minutes.

[D]

She Getting her socials all dialed in.

[B]

She didn't get ready at home. She drove here and got ready in the car. And it took forever.

[D]

Sweatshirt says a statement.

[A]

Typical broad.

[B]

This is why she's alone and auctioning herself off.

[D]

What would you think if you. You're meeting a girl and she has a sweatshirt on says dump him?

[B]

Don't know, but we're gonna find out. Poor Tripp was just pulling and he almost had to walk in with this lunatic. What the hell is this? Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and ask you to go home. We don't human traffic here anymore.

[D]

Anymore.

[B]

Not since we got rid of Marcus, anyway. Well, good luck getting her in the door. Cause that first door was a struggle. And she also parks like an asshole. So if you get her on the date, she seat, don't drive you.

[A]

Show ends at 10.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, we get five minutes with it. We can't human traffic in five minutes. I suppose we could. All right, we're gonna have this girl named Sarah come in. She's volunteered herself to one of you for Valentine's Day. Now, that doesn't mean you can get handsy and all Harvey Weinstein unless she says she wants that. And that's up to her. It's the woman's choice. But she's here now. And we'll bring her in and we'll see if she's any good. She might be annoying, she might be awesome. And then we're gonna leave it up to you guys to put your best foot forward. If you're a single fella. If you're not, for Valentine's Day. We haven't ever, ever human trafficked on the show before. And today we will. And I think I'm good at it. I think I can do it. As we determined about a week ago, I human trafficked all the time over at Tony Romas with the Chris Valenzuelas. I was moving them from. We were Human trafficking like crazy. Bringing in people from Mexico, guaranteeing jobs. I was. I was the original zips. They think that's a good idea. We had that figured out a long time ago. So we'll talk to Sarah.

[D]

She.

[B]

The victim is wandering in right now. There she is. Have a seat on the couch, Sarah. We'll get to you in a second. Sarah will be Human trafficked on 98 KUPD. Next visit, Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Online at 98KUPD.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. No cussing. Okay, put your headphones on. Here we go, Everybody. Look at this. How about that theme song for you? You can't turn it figured out. She can't get out of a car. She don't have volume.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

No.

[A]

Need more volume. You good?

[B]

You know this song? Yeah. What's the matter with her? She's broken.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Plug her into another. Oh, it's. It sounded loud, and now it's too loud. All right, you're just a problem right off.

[A]

Broads.

[B]

This is why we don't have women on the show. She's been here for five minutes. She's complained about everything. So there's your theme song. Welcome, everybody, our human traffic victim, Sarah.

[C]

Hi, guys.

[B]

How are you?

[C]

I'm doing well.

[B]

All right, good. Get up on that mic like you love it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And let's hear about you. I want to know first off, Sarah, we're going to need to know the basics eventually, but tell us what you told me initially and why you wanted to do this.

[C]

So I have been single for quite some time. I. I have never been in love. And I think that I'm ready to make that next step. I'm ready to be faithful. I've just, you know, dated a lot. I've done a lot. I've had the life, and now I'm.

[B]

Done with it, and you're done with life. So it's time for.

[C]

I'm done with my old life is what I mean.

[B]

Right. All right. The fun one is over. Let's sink down and ruin someone else's life. That's right. Exactly.

[C]

My future ex husband.

[B]

That's exactly what we should be looking for. So you have. You said you've never been in love, but you've been married. Married.

[C]

I have.

[B]

And you knew that was not.

[C]

Yeah. He was a really good guy. Honestly, a part of me still wishes I probably should have stuck around.

[B]

No kidding. Where's he?

[C]

He's in Mesa.

[B]

Do you think he'll call us? What if he called he hates you. What'd you do? Yeah, what you do?

[C]

I left him. I mean, we were.

[B]

For another guy?

[C]

No, for. Well, for every guy, you know.

[B]

Well, that's true. For the whole world.

[D]

That's fair.

[B]

It was. It was the world versus him.

[C]

Right.

[B]

He's got Pilgrim.

[C]

I was young, you know. It is what it is.

[D]

So.

[B]

Yeah. Because you had a kid.

[C]

I had a child.

[B]

When you guys were 20.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And you get married.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And he's a good dude.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And then a year later or so.

[C]

You'Re like, I was going to asu. I graduated from ac.

[B]

Okay. That's good. Oh, no kidding.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I graduated high school a year early. I was like 15, half my senior year. Yeah.

[B]

What do you do for money?

[C]

I bartend and serve.

[B]

What happened to all this smarts? I know.

[C]

Well, you know, you would actually be shocked at how much. How much servers make.

[B]

Oh, I know how much they make, but I'm just saying, like you, Magnum.

[C]

Okay, my education or my. My degree was in education.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, there's no money in that.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

You made a terrible mistake.

[C]

It was just an easy degree to get.

[B]

Yeah, it's terrible.

[C]

It's a really easy degree to get.

[B]

And you were the smartest one of the people who did it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then because I got out and. Did you teach for a while?

[C]

I taught for a semester, third grade.

[B]

And then screw this.

[C]

Yeah. Well, I was working at a brokerage firm throughout my college, college career, and they offered me a full time job as soon as I graduated.

[D]

That made it easy and offered me more money.

[B]

Let's get to the brass tacks of what everybody's going to want to know. How tall are you?

[C]

Five' five.

[B]

Five' five. How much do you weigh?

[C]

125.

[B]

125. You work out, you're in good shape?

[C]

I'm in great shape. I don't work out, but I have really good genes.

[B]

Okay, you don't work out, but you, you don't. You have good metabolism.

[C]

Good metabolism. I get tone really fast. I'm blessed.

[D]

And why do you think Sydney Sweeney.

[B]

That's exactly why. Do you think you can' Find someone other than pouring on the radio?

[C]

It is not that I can't find anybody. I just really wanted to meet you guys.

[B]

Oh, so this is more of just a fangirl?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, well, we'll take advantage of that.

[C]

And then why not, you know, have like a cute little segment for Valentine's Day?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

But this was definitely because I love you guys.

[B]

Because you love Us. And you'd like someone who loves us as well to join forces. Exactly. So, like, this immediately will be the link between you and the man that you could possibly be with.

[C]

Because I can never agree with anybody who is, like, not. Not who. Who doesn't appreciate you guys.

[B]

Well, that's sweet. Bra size. Can I guess?

[C]

Yeah, go ahead and guess.

[B]

You're 34B.

[C]

Yes. Correct.

[D]

Nice.

[C]

Spot on.

[B]

It's a gift.

[D]

No plushie for you.

[C]

I do have a lot of tattoos.

[B]

You are tatted up. Legs, back, leg.

[C]

Side.

[B]

Oh, side of you. Okay. All right.

[C]

Everything. My right side.

[B]

All right, and you are.

[D]

Any theme in particular or just a variety music?

[C]

I play the guitar. Guitar.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I do. I have. Well, I'm attempting to sing. I kind of broke through that barrier of how to sing, actually, just a few weeks ago because, y', all, you. You know how to sing, but you're. I mean, you're in a band. You know how.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Your voice. How. There's just a. A way to do it that I just now got.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You feel more comfortable doing it, right?

[C]

And I feel more comfortable doing it in front of people because I used to have stage frib. Really, dad? But this is how I know I still suck at the guitar. Whenever I play in front of somebody, people boo. They will know. They're like, every time. They're like, well, you're better than I am.

[B]

Well, that's not.

[C]

And I'm like, well, you can't even.

[B]

Play us the first F word. We knew it. I'm good with my potty mouth. My over under was all right. And then let's get into how you told us that you loved Jesus before we got into this. I'm a Christian and effing Christian, Brady. You believe it? Yeah.

[D]

That's good news.

[C]

I could stand all I want.

[B]

See, that's not what he did it for. Oh, yes, it was. All right, so you're a Jesus fan and you would prefer a man who likes Jesus.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Do you have a color preference?

[C]

Color of the man?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Well, I mean, I prefer tall, tatted up white boys.

[B]

Okay, so you're like. I mean, they racist.

[C]

I.

[D]

But a giant brother is nothing like you.

[C]

Hey, man, if there's. If there's a brother out there who is fine. Yeah, like, you know what I mean?

[B]

Okay, you don't. You're not discriminating.

[C]

I'm not discriminating.

[B]

All right, let's get into politics.

[C]

No, illegal.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You can't have an illegal. Just send them home.

[E]

Right.

[D]

That's a good point.

[B]

Yeah. That's why you date ICE guys. You want them out of here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. And as far as I think I can guess this after that last answer, but your politics is that important to you?

[C]

I am a Republican.

[B]

You are a Republican.

[C]

Strong, strong Republican.

[B]

Heavy. Do you have a Trump flag in the House anywhere?

[C]

I'm just an adorable, deplorable, horrible.

[B]

Oh, I like it. Okay.

[C]

And my parents are. Are really. My dad's a pretty radical republic.

[B]

He's pretty far. Right. Like storm the castle. January 6th. Yeah, I like that. All right. Yeah. He hunts anything.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I like it.

[C]

Literally anything.

[B]

So you. You don't want anyone who doesn't align there.

[C]

No, I don't think that I probably won't work. I. Yeah, I don't think so.

[B]

Like, if Mom. Donnie.

[C]

Who?

[B]

The mayor of New York.

[D]

Oh, just the name alone.

[B]

Yeah. You're not gonna do. Yeah, that's true. It sounded like she. Yeah, she. IM Shot the towel off my head.

[D]

The disdain.

[B]

So no liberals?

[C]

No liberals.

[B]

You don't like them at all?

[C]

They would have to be really, really.

[D]

Cute or really fine.

[C]

Rich.

[B]

Rich. Or okay, sexy or rich liberal for.

[C]

Me to overlook that.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And they have to know that my parents will probably hate them forever.

[B]

That doesn't bother a lot of guys. All right, let's. All right. Let's say. And so. All right. So far, so good. I've got a few people emailing me right now. Now where do you send pictures to Fuel.

[C]

How do they know what I look like?

[B]

They don't. We're. That's why you're winning them over right now. Okay. Where. Where do you bartend?

[C]

So I bartend at. I worked at Uncle Bears for a very long time. I actually just quit there and works at. I work at a bar in Coolidge. That sounds terrible.

[B]

Yes, it does.

[C]

But it's not as bad as you think it is because I'm like. Only I. I run it. Like I just.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I run it. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You want to do a shout out or you're keeping that off?

[C]

It's El. Gr. It's. Whatever. It's. It's kind of just a part time gig because I have something else going on right now.

[B]

What's that mean? Well, I mean, that sound like drug deals, like you can take it public, but it's cool. Yeah, it's cool. You're definitely selling it.

[C]

I've had some IPOs coming up.

[B]

Have you. Have you ever. Have you ever had a drug issue?

[D]

I.

[C]

Of course, Yes, I have I can.

[B]

Tell by your voice. Voice?

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah, there's some sort of a. Like a tone in it that says I used to have a drug.

[C]

Well, I was actually prescribed Oxycodone, Xanax and Adderall for a long time. My mom took the doctor to the medical bird, actually.

[B]

No kidding. Because you had too much of that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're into prescription meds?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And you're over that?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You're sure?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

How long's it been?

[C]

Well, I mean, I smoke weed, but.

[B]

Okay, so you like to smoke weed.

[A]

All right.

[B]

For Jesus. Yes. Okay. That's what I think.

[A]

He put it on this earth for her.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. That's why he planted it.

[D]

How long's it been?

[C]

Oh, it's been 12 years. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Rehab or just jumped it?

[C]

Rehab.

[B]

You went to rehab? Okay, you see? Got stories. This is interesting. That's a good thing.

[D]

She's lived it.

[C]

She's lived it.

[B]

Donovan says I can't call, but is she into 6 foot, 7 inch, broke dick, combat veteran whites whose wife's recently cheated on him? I'm asking for a friend.

[C]

Sounds desperate.

[B]

Sounds? Well, I mean, you're the one on the radio.

[C]

I mean, like I said, this is all just. I just wanted to meet you guys.

[B]

All right? We're going to Human Traffic. You. You can't start calling these guys desperate.

[D]

Not the best way to start off.

[C]

Well, I don't want to be on rebound if I'm looking for love.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[C]

That sounds ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah. This one says, john, here's the problem I have with these single broads. They spend their whole twenties whoring around and taking any swinging D they can find. Fine. They get into their 30s, they want to settle down. No respectable man wants this. She's got kids from someone and that's going to be a problem.

[C]

I know so. And I do prefer somebody childless. Who? Childless?

[B]

You want a childless man, right? Age, age range? What are we looking at?

[C]

Well, I have a 20 year old daughter. And I have a 10 year old.

[B]

Daughter, so you got to keep dudes away from her.

[D]

What about a dude that wants to have another kid?

[C]

I'm pretty sure that's probably not gonna happen. Okay, well, unless he got. Unless we had nanny. Full time nanny, then I'd be okay with that.

[A]

All right, rich liberal guy.

[B]

Rich liberal guys. All right, let's traffic this woman.

[A]

This guy wants to know what her only fans page is.

[B]

Yeah, do you have an only fans page?

[C]

It's Guitar Princess.

[B]

Oh, my God. Guitar Princess. And what is the worst thing you've done for money? On that? On that. So.

[C]

So that is. That's my new account that I'm actually just rebuilding. It was November. Rank rain. And the worst thing I've done is the typical.

[B]

What Typical?

[C]

I have.

[B]

I had sex with a guy on Internet. On the. On the only fans. You My boy.

[C]

Yeah, My boyfriend at the time.

[B]

But you banged a guy on only.

[C]

Fans for money on only fans.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

What's the link?

[D]

That was November Rain started.

[C]

You know how it started. When was that? He's my tattoo artist, and he was giving me a tattoo, and one thing led to another.

[B]

Where was the tattoo? Oh, you had it mapped out.

[C]

I never finished it. It was behind his leg.

[B]

Right. He finished. So you had it planned that you were gonna film your tattoo and the next thing you know?

[C]

Well, yeah, it was planned out, but.

[B]

You guys mapped this out for your only fans. How many views did that get? I don't even remember what you remember exactly. How many views? Sarah, do not lie to me.

[C]

I. I don't know, like, 722 or something.

[B]

So. And what were the. What was the most painful comment?

[C]

You know what? There was a lot of painful comments about him.

[B]

But really, what's wrong with him?

[C]

He just was acting too much nervous in front of the camera.

[B]

Oh, he was a little shaky.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He didn't like it. Did you talk him in?

[D]

You're a natural.

[C]

I don't know. Maybe I am for, you know, maybe I'm not, but.

[B]

Would you do that again with the guy we set you up. I think.

[C]

I think I'm past that.

[B]

You're done?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Horror on the Internet. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, that's nice. That's growth.

[C]

Well, I mean, I did.

[D]

So the new page is retooled. New 2.0.

[C]

I have a new page. Guitar Princess. But that's me teaching the guitar to men.

[B]

Okay. And then you get through, like, Teddy bear's picnic, and then you're blowing them.

[C]

Well, no, because they're not. They're. They're watching me on. They're watching me.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

It'll be like, hey, who wants to learn?

[D]

It'll be a very special venue when Esteban comes.

[B]

Yeah, but you're talking with the guitar teaching.

[C]

That depends on how much tips I.

[B]

Is that, though? That's what we're doing. We're naked. You're naked with a guitar in front of the nipples.

[C]

I'm not naked. Right off the rip.

[B]

But you will take your clothes off and play them songs. And you think you're teaching guys guitar.

[C]

That's.

[B]

Well, that they're strumming.

[D]

It's a double whammy.

[C]

Here's the thing.

[D]

Thing.

[C]

Here's the thing is that. And my brother's listening right now, too. Oh, my gosh. What's up, bro?

[D]

Anyway.

[C]

I just lost my train of thought.

[B]

Yeah, that's all right. That'll happen. Yeah, that's the oxycodone. All right, here we go. Let's go to the phones. We're going to allow anybody who wants to call and ask you questions, and maybe you guys can get together.

[C]

Okay?

[B]

Right. How about that? 5, 8, 5, 9 did hurt a lot of people. People are. They said we should do the morning sickness trafficking report. I like this insight into the female mind and dating world and educate women how they have completely effed up their futures and now they have to beg on the radio.

[C]

I'm not begging on the radio. I wanted to meet my heroes.

[B]

I know that's a beautiful thing and we appreciate that, but that's not going to end here. You've met us. That's over, right? Right now it's a matter of taking one of these.

[D]

Hopefully you weren't disappointed.

[B]

Yeah, no, it actually wasn't.

[C]

You are all just very handsome gentlemen. And I love.

[B]

That's so true. Boy, you, you know, YouTube, even Toledo, she said the libco. You would never date him.

[C]

Well, well. Hey, Salido.

[B]

That's true. He does have that going for him.

[D]

Yeah, Toledo clout.

[B]

That's a big dick Toledo. He's carrying that Toledo cloud around. It doesn't matter that he doesn't know Kings marches every Saturday. But, oh, look at her face. I already know.

[C]

I already know. When I said that, the first time I said it, I was like, oh, wait, where is he at?

[B]

Yeah, but we keep in the other room.

[C]

My dad was the first.

[B]

My dad. Talk to the microphone. I can't hear you.

[C]

When they did the protesting in. In Santan, Queen Creek, my dad was the first Republican to show up. The very first one to cause trouble. And then, yeah, you know, Jesus is my only king sign.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[C]

And then all the. All the, you know, lefts came and he was, like, the only one there for. For quite some time.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. All right.

[D]

So.

[B]

All right. We're human trafficking. So Sarah Winston is out. Our black friend has just said, that's horrible. Naked topless guitar playing sounds like a liberal Jenny Gump behavior.

[C]

Oh, ouch.

[B]

It is sort of. Jenny.

[C]

I don't Think he wants to learn how to play the guitar?

[B]

Obviously, he's a drummer. All right. Or bass player. All right, we're gonna go to the phones. Grab the first one. I just want to go right.

[A]

Go blind.

[B]

Yeah, I think the first one is here. Right. And introduce themselves to Sarah. Hi there. Who's this? Hi, there.

[E]

This is Mike.

[B]

Mike, how are you doing?

[E]

Good.

[B]

How are you doing? Good. You like what you're hearing with Sarah and you'd like to put your best foot forward and try to have a relationship with her?

[E]

Yes, absolutely. Man. She seems, like, really chill.

[B]

Okay, There you go. All right. Do you have any questions for her?

[E]

I mean, obviously you like rock music and everything. Who's your favorite band?

[C]

Ooh, great question, honestly. So I would say that I have quite a few. I used to be a grunge head. Total grunge head for a long time. I would say Faith no More is one of my top fans. Faith no More. Oh, God, yes.

[B]

All right. Is that getting to. What do you weigh, sir?

[E]

I weigh about 150, so.

[B]

150. So you're about five, six, seven.

[C]

Tattoos or no tattoos?

[E]

Five, nine, but yeah.

[B]

All right. Everybody who says they're 59 is five seven. I work with Brady. All right, five' nine is five' seven. It's. And. And it's like every woman that says she's 140 is 155. And so are you tatted up? Are you a tatted up white boy? She likes that.

[E]

I actually have a perfectly clean body, so. Okay, no tattoos, no nothing.

[B]

Why aren't you in a relationship? And how old are you?

[E]

I am 38. My wife left in December. Right before fucking Christmas.

[B]

All right. No, you two are match made in heaven. All right, Your wife left you in December right before Christmas.

[E]

Why right before Christmas? Well, before then, she was just, you know, yelling all the time and everything, and, you know, she just wasn't happy.

[B]

Happy? She didn't like it. Exactly. Sarah has checked out completely on this one.

[D]

She's really concerned about the December thing.

[C]

I mean, you just left.

[D]

It's a rebound.

[B]

It's too soon. Rebound?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You'd be a rebound. Would she be rebound? Or have you gotten on anyone else in the meantime?

[C]

Either way too soon.

[E]

I've been busy. I've been busy.

[B]

Too soon. Okay, so he's been banging away. You're not interested, right? Sarah's cutting you off now. She has no interest in you and your parents. Problems at home. Hey, no worries.

[E]

Good luck, Sarah.

[B]

Thanks. A nice guy. I think you Gave up on a.

[D]

Good one, you know, that was nice of her to cut it off.

[B]

No, I think she quit on a good one.

[C]

Yeah, he was respectful. You know, maybe show me his Facebook profile.

[B]

You have to win this way. This is a personality challenge.

[C]

No, that he. That was actually really.

[B]

He's calling not knowing what you look like.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

You're right. Yeah.

[C]

See? Oh, you didn't tell him my Facebook.

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

This is all on you to sell you. You came here to human trafficking.

[C]

I'm gonna assume you're not gonna bring some 800.

[B]

You could be. You volunteered. You.

[D]

Do you have a weight limit?

[B]

Yeah. Do you? Yeah.

[C]

Well, I'm gonna say I definitely. I don't really. I'm really bad with guys. Weight.

[B]

Fat guys are in or out. Ow. You don't like fat guys?

[C]

Well, I mean, no. I mean, not particularly.

[B]

Okay. You're not attracted to a fat. Well, yeah, I mean, she's narrowing it down.

[C]

I'm attracted to attractive people.

[B]

That's right. That's right. Traditionally attractive men. All right, good. All right. The phone just dropped himself. Give me this one.

[C]

Honestly. Humor.

[B]

Of course it is. You gotta like that. All right, this is a guy named Brady.

[C]

Oh, I love it already.

[B]

Brady, are you there?

[E]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[B]

Yeah, I'm here. Oh, my God. With everyone with the cussing. Brady, calm down over there. All right, Brady.

[A]

I got rid of him already.

[B]

We're gonna take a break. Going to have to screen these idiots in a second. All right, Sarah, you have. You have the world captured. Captured some people's hearts. There's guys sending me emails and I really got tons of them. Where would you like to go on your date?

[C]

Let's see.

[B]

By the way, Donovan, the 6 foot 7 inch guy that you called desperate has emailed back and said onlyfans sex girl just called me desperate. I'm going to hang myself.

[C]

Oh, hey, that's for money, bro. That ain't out of desperation. That's just for some extra money.

[B]

Jesus. With you, I mean.

[C]

Crap.

[B]

Yeah. Stop it.

[C]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[B]

You get one more and then we're going to traffic you out of here.

[C]

All right, all right, fair enough.

[B]

This guy says he's married, but he'll give you a run.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Won't they all? No, the whole reason you're here. All right, we're going to take a break here. We're going to get some calls. If you want to date Sarah for Valentine's Day, she's put her best foot Forward. We'll see if any of these guys can do it. I like the first caller right there. Brett, Chris is on. Not yet.

[D]

No, no.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

All right.

[B]

No, no. He's out. That guy's down. You killed it. You started doing shots and stopped listening.

[D]

A little regret there.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe a little rude like her first husband that she bailed out too early.

[D]

Live and learn.

[B]

I hope her husband comes.

[A]

We got hundreds of thousands of listeners. We'll find her.

[B]

This is a good question. How old were you when you first contracted herpes?

[C]

I actually don't have it.

[B]

You don't have any herpes? I don't anything that we need to worry about.

[C]

One in or. Actually, I think they said three and five people. I have it or something.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know about that. Let's go to. Let's get to the bedroom.

[C]

Nope. I have no.

[B]

You don't have anything to reveal?

[C]

No.

[B]

When the dude's about to go down there, do you swing?

[C]

Not. Not.

[A]

Not regularly or.

[B]

I mean.

[C]

No.

[B]

No.

[C]

I'm just gonna say that wasn't.

[B]

That wasn't a good no. You're not selling it. Yeah. You're not. You swing.

[C]

No.

[B]

You will. Have you?

[A]

Have you?

[B]

Yes. There you go. How many men have been in the room with you with erections at one time?

[C]

Oh, I've only actually been with one guy at once.

[B]

No kidding. You never doubled down?

[C]

No, I haven't.

[B]

So what was with the whole. No, not gonna. You've swapped partners.

[C]

I've. Well, been with another girl.

[B]

Oh, so you brought other women in.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And that's a regular thing? It's not a regular thing, but it would be.

[C]

No.

[B]

If a guy wanted a girl to come in with you, would you say yes? Are you done with. With that, too?

[C]

I'm pretty much done with that.

[B]

Jeez, you're just. You're.

[C]

I'm trying to be a good Christian girl.

[B]

Yeah. But the old fun you is somebody we could sell. This is brutal.

[C]

I know.

[B]

I got Joel Osteen star.

[D]

Where's November rain?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What happened to November rain? Where is November Rain?

[C]

Stop.

[B]

Where's our only fans? What happened to the we were promised Jesus loves you, and you're gonna make dudes work too hard.

[C]

I know, I know. That's the point, right?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you said it yourself. The Lord died for you. Just throw it out there.

[C]

I know. And he did. Did. And I.

[D]

And I got a buddy that's driving up the Flagstaff right now, and he's infatuated. He's Like I gotta.

[B]

He wants the boner. Yeah.

[D]

He's loaded too.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well then.

[D]

But he's. He's a Democrat.

[C]

Oh, why don't you leave.

[D]

But loaded. That might.

[B]

He's a rich Democrat who will.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

How Democrat is pretty solid. Will he let me like have a.

[B]

Gun in the House? I don't know if that's a great idea considering like that you want to use or if he starts getting lippy about Trump. All right.

[D]

What would you do if you saw him making a no king.

[B]

Yeah. You'd shoot him with a gunny. He was nice enough to let you have. All right.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I just probably have to walk.

[B]

This is unintentional, but the word for nine o' clock is damaged.

[D]

Shut up.

[B]

Are you serious?

[C]

Over.

[B]

I clarified by saying we didn't do this on purpose. Damaged is the 9 o'. Clock. We're word this morning to throw on the app and on the website. All right. Sarah's here for Valentine's Day. We're trying to give her away. She is today's prize. I'm going to go through some questions. We're going to get you online 585-9800. If you want to try to take Sarah out and treat her like a. Like a beautiful woman, like a gentleman would, we'll allow it. And Larry's late. He's the one that we're really need.

[C]

To give me Larry too.

[B]

See, there you go. There you go. It's nine o'. Clock. Sarah is up for grabs nine next visit, Holmberg's Morning Sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. That's a band right there called Reckless Eden. We're happy to give that a push here on the air because that's our friend Sanjay Looney. Sarah is in the room right now and she's hanging out with us. And by the way, who was that guy's name just sent a picture of himself shirtless.

[A]

Ryan.

[B]

Ryan, you're in great shape. You look good. But I'm unfortunately going to have to point something out in this picture. You're trying to work win Sarah over with. You've included a can of Raid roach spray in the photo and that's an automatic. Oh, what's wrong with your.

[D]

I did upsell them a little bit with her. I go, do you like sour cream onion chips?

[B]

Cause he's got those.

[D]

Got a bag.

[B]

She's like, oh, but you know who else likes those chips? The roaches in his house that he just leaves chips. Yeah. You can't have.

[C]

And they're on top of the fridge and not even in the cabinet.

[B]

I don't know that he has a cabinet. That looks a little like a cell to me. All right, you're here. Yeah. You look like he's in great shape, great body. Yeah, yeah, he looks out, but he also looks like he might have been in a prison. Y scrapper too. Here's what I'm getting an email, Sarah, as we try to pimp you out. And we're about to go to the phones. This one says, I'm in on Sarah. His name's John. I would take Sarah out and I'd be a gentleman. I'm six two, 190 pounds. I do homework, workouts four days a week. I'm in finance. I have a decent income, two vehicles, both paid off white, disease free, God fearing Christian conservative, voted for president Trump. I'm also socially liberal. I have some sons in their 20s. I don't know what that means. And a daughter in her teens. I do not want any more kids. I pick her. If I pick her today and it doesn't pan out and she likes what she sees. Here, slide her my number. And that's from a guy named John.

[C]

I love it.

[B]

All right, so you can hang on to that one. His number's there. Here's another one I got that kind of is the opposite. This girl take miles of dick in her personal life, but I want to come on the radio and find a respectable guy. But she just told us that she's found one before and we all got to watch them have sex. Go ahead and hook her up with a the biggest black dude you can find and have him wreck.

[C]

Well, for starters, the respectful guy wasn't the one I had sex with online.

[B]

Sure, that was disrespectful the whole way.

[C]

No, that was just another guy. That wasn't the guy who I actually like.

[B]

You know, this one says, oh, here's one says, I'm Ben and I'm laid back. I enjoy trying new things. I live in the Gilbert area. Passionate outdoor enthusiast. Likes embrace, embracing nature, hiking, scenic trails. Enjoy a beach day. When I'm not exploring. You can find me indulging in my favorite food. Sushi, tacos, shows, ultimate go to's. I have a knack for discovering craft cocktails. There's a photo of him. Interested?

[C]

I do like to hike. I'm a very big nature kind of girl. What did he say?

[B]

He said sushi he likes. He's a handsome young man. Look at that. Not so Bad. Nope, you're out. Never mind. What's wrong with him?

[F]

First reactions.

[D]

Let's see. Ben. They sell a lot.

[C]

The mustache.

[B]

He didn't like his mustache.

[C]

I like mustaches.

[B]

It's a whole goatee, though.

[C]

Oh, it is?

[D]

Yeah, kind of.

[B]

Yeah. Take a look. Come on. You're so picky.

[C]

Oh, he's cute.

[B]

That's what I thought.

[C]

This is the same guy?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, he's adorable.

[B]

All right, so put him in your pocket. And before we go to the phones, let me fix this. Oh, yeah. Jeremy says Turning Point concert or Bad Bunny? Halftime. What'd you watch?

[C]

Turning Point. Thank you very much.

[B]

Feeling about that. Didn't even look at Bad Bunny, right?

[C]

Nope.

[B]

Cuz he's four. Boring.

[C]

Turning Point.

[B]

Yeah. All right, I'm with you on that. This is it. Here's our crazy lady. Screening questions.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

How's your relationship with your dad?

[C]

Great.

[B]

Okay. And it's recently recovered, I'm guessing.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

You went through a spell.

[C]

I went through a spell. But it's been recovered for quite some time.

[B]

Okay. All right. How many times have you cheated in a relationship? Oh, boy. There was a face.

[D]

Whoa.

[B]

Lot. Wow.

[C]

Well, I've never been in love.

[B]

Well, yeah. So it's the. Their fault.

[A]

All right.

[B]

How. How are you with money? Great credit score.

[C]

Credit score is amazing.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

Well, it's not amazing.

[B]

It's 710.

[D]

Good.

[C]

That's what I mean. I'm actually extremely good. I worked at a brokerage firm for a long time. My aunt is actually was in the Wall Street Journal for the top 10.

[B]

Yeah. This doesn't matter. We're not trying to.

[C]

Business women and doesn't mean it filtered down.

[B]

She sounds crazy.

[C]

Is that she gave me some.

[A]

Doesn't mean anything. Believe me.

[C]

She gave me some tips.

[B]

I.

[C]

So I know how to invest.

[D]

Brady's dad, you don't have to report those tips sometimes.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

I know.

[D]

Thanks.

[F]

Brady's dad cooked Cuban.

[B]

Daddy. T is now a trump. All right. Do you have a psychiatrist?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay. Have you ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder? No, not diagnosed.

[C]

Not diagnosed.

[B]

Okay. There's restraining orders. What was all the Adderall and stuff for?

[C]

That was because I took it and I liked it. And it was easy to get at the time.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[C]

Back in 20. What? 20.

[D]

2012.

[C]

When it was all the rage.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

When everybody was.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How many guys have you been with at the same general time period? Like your roster.

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

Like rotating. You kind of got three or four Going. Nobody's serious. What's the most you've ever been taking that one period of your life?

[A]

Oh, like how many cranks you have spinning.

[B]

How many.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

How many cranks are you juggling? Oh, you gotta. You gotta call the Red Panda. It's.

[C]

I go in spells, I guess, but.

[B]

You gotta go to call. Right. Right now.

[C]

I can't.

[D]

Sure.

[C]

Yeah, I have. Yeah.

[B]

Any self harm in your history?

[C]

No.

[B]

Suicide attempt? No, never. All right. Jail.

[C]

Only nine Chanels in the dark closet when I'm depressed. I'm just kidding.

[B]

Weird. All right. Good Lord. That turns ugly. Jail time.

[C]

Yes, I did go to jail back in the day. Four for shoplifting.

[B]

Oh. What'd you take?

[C]

I don't even remember.

[B]

You do too.

[C]

Walmart. No, it was something.

[B]

Shoplifting for Walmart. You stole. You stole a horse? No, it was a horse with an eagle riding its back.

[C]

It was quite some time ago.

[F]

Self checkout.

[B]

It was a great value. Let me start. Sarah, you remember what you stole?

[C]

I. You know. Well, I mean, I'd have to think about it.

[D]

It was enough to do jail time.

[C]

Probably. Probably like.

[B]

A bag.

[C]

A backpack.

[D]

That was my. Okay.

[B]

A backpack. Doesn't matter where you're guessing. She's guessing.

[C]

It was makeup.

[B]

You still Makeup.

[C]

Makeup.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Makeup.

[B]

Finally.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Jesus Christ. All right, let's go to the phones and see who's ready to question ahead.

[F]

So the guy that's in the rotation right now, why isn't he on the possibility of the. Of love?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There are no guys on the rotation.

[B]

Okay. You're out of the rotation. I won't waste Sarah's time bargaining for petty privileges. Did your nipples get tougher during breastfeeding?

[C]

My nipples are pretty intact.

[B]

They're pretty intact. They didn't get wrecked at all.

[C]

I have not one stretch mark. I'm.

[B]

This one says you're bartending and coolage. How many teeth do you have that are yours?

[C]

All of them.

[B]

All of them are yours. They're nice teeth. You have very, very nice teeth. Okay, that's surprising. Yeah, a lot of people bashing Coolidge, saying you're from Coolidge and you think you can be picky?

[C]

No, no, I'm not from Coolidge. Let me just get this straight. I'm only working there because, like, I. Because I run it. Because I'm the only one that can be there. And so that I make a lot of money there and I only do certain events there.

[B]

All right. Joey says he likes you because he thinks you're the type of girl I Could take to Texas girl on a first date. Is that right?

[C]

It's Texas.

[B]

No, no, Texas Grill, home of the chicken fried steak.

[C]

16Th Street, Bethany H. No, I'm good.

[B]

Not a very good first day. All right, let's go to the phone, see these guys and see if anybody can win you over for Valentine's Day.

[A]

We'll start off with Eric. He's 632-406-3240.

[B]

Eric, are you there?

[E]

Yes, sir.

[B]

All right, say hi to Sarah and put your best foot forward. Go get him, Eric.

[C]

Hi, Eric.

[E]

Oh, man. What's going on? Sarah, how you doing?

[C]

I'm doing okay, how are you?

[E]

Not too bad, not too bad. So we'll get. We're gonna get straight to the point here.

[B]

You like heavy metal?

[E]

I like heavy metal. Do you like white guys, tattoos? I'm a white guy covered in tattoos. You like the outdoors? I got a boat. I got a captain trailer. I got quads, dirt bikes. I do all that stuff, man. I'm construction foreman.

[B]

I make.

[E]

I do pretty good for myself.

[D]

I like this guy.

[E]

Yeah, I'm just trying to kick back and have a good time on the water, man. Boating season's about to start up and. Yeah, we're ready to hit it.

[C]

I like that.

[B]

And you'd like to take Sarah out on boat and show her a good time.

[C]

Have you ever been incarcerated?

[B]

You ever been to jail like Sarah?

[E]

Ah, no.

[C]

Three days.

[B]

Hey, he's got jail time, too. You guys a lot in common. What you do? What'd you do to get in jail?

[E]

A couple aggravated.

[B]

But, you know, I got my rights back.

[E]

I got guns. I can vote.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you know, you can vote.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

You can vote for Trump.

[E]

I don't really. I don't really vote for anybody. I got my own opinions and.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

I just keep it to myself because.

[B]

If I, you know, let it out.

[E]

I let it out, I get in trouble, right?

[B]

So. Yeah, yeah, no, that's true. You start with another aggravated assault, we don't need that. Hey, man, what's your credit?

[E]

Sometimes we got to push the envelope.

[B]

Goddamn right. 60, 760. The two. You could buy a pretty decent car. All right, Sarah, do you have any questions for him?

[C]

No, I like what I hear. Yeah, I do.

[B]

All right.

[C]

I can't.

[D]

That's got potential.

[C]

I mean, I can think of a million questions right now, obviously, but is.

[B]

There anything standing out? Do you have a normal sized penis?

[C]

I like the.

[D]

How about, when's the last relationship?

[E]

Two years ago.

[B]

Okay, When's the last time you had sex with someone.

[E]

Oh, hey, man, we don't want to talk about that. I got a couple things on the roster.

[B]

But you know what?

[E]

That don't matter.

[C]

That's okay.

[D]

Gotta have a roster.

[B]

Hold on. So, yes, yesterday is your answer?

[E]

I'm snipped, so we ain't got to worry about none of that bs, all right?

[B]

Cream pies, a glory holes, all that stuff. Oh, God, yeah. All right, we'll get a boat.

[D]

We talking about bass tracker.

[B]

Calm down, Brady. I'll handle this. Don't distract. We're onto the cream pies now and not the oatmeal ones. All right? So you would like to. All right. You guys think you. I. I like this. I think this is a good match.

[C]

I like it too.

[B]

Are you. I asked you before, you didn't answer. Are you an average sized man down south? She prefers large.

[E]

I've never had any complaints.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

I mean, I put it work. I can fold you up like a pretzel and we can go get a beer afterwards, you know?

[B]

Good Lord. Who said that, Keats or Shelly? I can't remember which poet came up with that line. All right, I like this. This is a. It was a good one. Sarah, are you feeling any vibes with this?

[C]

I'm feeling vibes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, we'll put them on.

[B]

Is there anything about a girl that is a deal breaker for you?

[E]

I mean, she's got all of her teeth. She sounds pretty.

[B]

Pretty.

[E]

Pretty much like the type I would go for. I mean, you know, a little.

[B]

Little crazy, little.

[E]

Little fun, little. Little freaking mysterious.

[B]

Are you a Christian, man?

[E]

I mean, I was baptized Christian.

[B]

Okay, you love the Lord.

[C]

I can work with that.

[B]

All right. Yeah, it's a start. I mean, she's been on only fan. She can't really, you know, start throwing the Jesus around.

[D]

Absolutely no Jews.

[B]

Yeah, no, yeah.

[C]

You know, the chosen people.

[B]

Yeah, we're not dating any of them. That would be off. All right, all right, all right, hold on. We're gonna get him on hold. You put him on hold. I like this one. I think we might have just human traffic.

[A]

All right, we got Jeff. He's 6 foot, 210.

[B]

6Ft, 210? That's. That's right around where I'm at. I'm 6ft 205, so Jeff's about my size. Just get a visual on that. Okay. Jeff, are you there?

[E]

I'm here.

[B]

All right, Jeff, put your best foot forward and win over our human traffic. Perfect fiction.

[E]

Well, like you said, I'm six foot I like. I like the outdoors. I have a Jeep that I like to take off with my friends and go on trails, rock climbing, all that kind of stuff.

[B]

Fun.

[E]

I have two jobs. I'm a maintenance supervisor for one, and I haul propane on the. On the weekends.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

For extra money.

[B]

Okay. Worker. You ever been to jail?

[E]

I have.

[B]

All right, tell us why.

[D]

Assault.

[B]

Got in fight with the last guy, Sir.

[D]

Said you're gassy.

[C]

No, no, no.

[D]

From the propane.

[B]

Brady, calm down. No puns. Brady. I'm gonna turn you off.

[D]

Come on.

[B]

All right, hold on. You went to jail for aggravated assault?

[E]

Yeah, Yeah. I saw a guy hit his girlfriend at a bar, and I punched him.

[B]

Okay. And protecting. Yeah. And usually what happens there is the girl doesn't press charges against you, she protects the boyfriend. A lesson. Yeah, that's almost always how that happens when you involve yourself anyway. Yeah, yeah. Captain Save a Ho. Almost always end up behind bars. How long did you sit down?

[E]

About six months while I went through trial. I tried to fight it.

[B]

Yeah. All right. And it didn't work out. So can you vote?

[E]

No.

[B]

But if you did, I would have voted for Trump. There you go. All right. And is there anything, Sarah, you have to ask our caller?

[C]

F6s or F4s? I mean, what kind of felonies are we dealing with?

[B]

Why can't you vote?

[C]

Why can't you vote?

[E]

I pled out to. I pled out to 1F4.

[B]

These are not dating profiles.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

It's a felony four.

[D]

I thought she was asking about trucks.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, you can own the gun, but he can't be. He can't have that.

[D]

I thought it was like a Jeep term.

[B]

Like if he's in his Jeep and you bring your gun and then you leave and he gets. He's going to jail mail again. Okay, well, do you mind that Sarah packs heat? That. Do you need that around?

[C]

I'll keep it at home.

[E]

I don't mind at all. I'm planning on getting my rights back.

[B]

That's right. You want to carry a gun, too, in case that aggravated assault starts and they leave no stories. That's what I think. All right, do you want to keep him on Sarah? All right. She likes him, too. I think she's gonna bone everybody. Then there's a guy named Brady back.

[A]

Brady is back.

[B]

He cussed last time.

[A]

59182.

[B]

Okay, Brady is. Oh, you're a little rotund, but that's not so bad. Pretty good shape behind. Are you Brady That's. Yeah, don't worry about it, Brady.

[E]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[B]

All right. Hear me, Brady? Yep, we can hear you. Go right ahead.

[E]

Yeah, what's up? Hey, what's up, Sarah? Good morning.

[C]

Good morning.

[E]

How are you doing today?

[C]

I'm doing super duper well.

[B]

All right, Brady, let's just cut to the chase. How long were you in jail for aggravated assault?

[E]

Never have been. But I've been to jail for a dui, all right?

[B]

And big deal. The other two guys, I'm not.

[E]

I'm not aggressive. I'm just stupid.

[D]

Stupid.

[B]

That's nice. Where would you take Sarah on a date, Brady?

[E]

I would take her bowling, probably.

[B]

Do you like to bowl in miniature golf? He's 12 years old. Maybe.

[C]

Yeah, the arcade.

[B]

Yeah, go to the arcade. Maybe wrestle in a playground or something. Brady, you take.

[E]

Sorry. I'm sorry.

[B]

Oh, my God, he did it. And Brady's out that. Strike three on Brady. This is the opposite of R. Brady. This guy.

[A]

Now we got the Patrick. Six, two, 200.

[B]

Patrick. Oh, oh. Just hung up on him. The phones are breaking.

[D]

Why is it so effing hard?

[B]

Why can't you people just calm yourself? All right, between these last two guys, I think we got something here.

[C]

Okay, sure.

[B]

Yeah, I think so. Let's try this last one here. It's ringing right now. Just take it live this person. Hi there. Who's this?

[E]

Hi, I'm trying to ask if Sarah ever my man.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Did you ever F that woman, man?

[C]

Probably not.

[B]

Hey, clean it up. Don't cuss. What are you asking?

[C]

Don't cuss if Sarah ever had sex with my man.

[E]

This is Angie, Andy.

[B]

Do you have Angie's. Did you ever have sex with someone named Angie's, man? Why do you ask that, Angie?

[A]

Keep it clean.

[E]

Just questions.

[C]

Because every time she comes around, it seems like they have some type of.

[E]

Tension or something went on between know.

[B]

Do you know this woman?

[C]

No.

[B]

She says she doesn't know you, Angie. Oh, yeah, the girl who called before. Yeah, that's her friend. Oh, that's your friend?

[C]

Dad. So I thought.

[B]

Yeah. And then she calls on the air and says you're banging her boyfriend.

[C]

Oh, definitely not.

[B]

All right, well, I think you just lost a friend, Banshee.

[C]

Okay, well, just was wondering because they had some.

[D]

His intention.

[E]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Just wondering.

[B]

You feel tension? You think your boyfriend wants to have sex with someone, Sarah?

[E]

Yes, for sure. And I feel like they've had done stuff before.

[B]

Sarah, is that true? You can confess now. It would be awesome for radio. All right. She says it's on her babies. That she has my babies on your guy.

[D]

Banji, would you like to have sex with one of the candidates we had this morning?

[B]

Banji, we've got guys lined up. Do you want to take the runner up? No, I was just wondering. What an interesting phone call, Banshee. Thank you. Thanks for calling. Thanks, Banji. That was in her. You could have asked her at home. But no, it's a good opportunity. You know what I wish, though, Banji, is that she actually did have sex with your boy. Is he gross?

[C]

He's disgusting.

[B]

He is.

[F]

He's.

[C]

I would never.

[D]

So that pretty much.

[B]

All right, this is crazy. And I had a feeling that we went east valley crazy with this Larry. And we'll have Larry get close, but there's a lot of drama surrounding you now, apparently. Yeah. Who knew?

[C]

I have a lot of haters. I do.

[B]

All right, let's go. One last question with the first guys. Kevin was the name. Is that.

[A]

Oh, no, that was Eric.

[B]

Eric. So we're going back to the top. Top guy, number one. Yeah. Go to line one. This is Eric.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Eric, are you there? Yes, sir. All right. Where would you take Sarah on a date?

[E]

We'll go to the lake, man.

[B]

Can banjo go pick up a case of. Pick up a case of brewskis.

[E]

Go listen to some music right there in Lake Pleasant.

[B]

New rock. You already talked about that. Are you.

[E]

Yeah. Not no faith. Not no faith, no. More like some Lamb of God or some Slayer.

[B]

Oh, he's going crazy. Are you an Indian? Are you native?

[E]

Some Alice in Chains?

[C]

I mean.

[E]

No, I'm a white man.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Just Lamb of God.

[E]

Metallica or Cry.

[B]

All right. You're not Banji's boyfriend, are you? Just making sure. Just clearing it up right there. All right. All right. Hold on a second there. I don't think you won her over by telling her a favorite band is awful. Next guy was not a good lead. No, it was bad. What was the other guy's name?

[A]

This is Jeff.

[B]

Jeff, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. All right, Jeff, tell Sarah what you would do to her on a first date. And don't hold back.

[E]

Well, we'd probably go get dinner. Maybe Rhodesio Grill.

[B]

Oh, nice. Got the voucher.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Big spender.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

New Vision Auto Glass fix this window. He's not gonna spend any money on. He already got these. And use that check that New Vision gets you, too. And buy. Buy her a nice windshield, too. There you go. All right, That's a good one. What else? We take a Rhodesio grill, fill her up full of meats, Brazilian steak. And then what?

[E]

Then we would find a trail on my jeep. Might take her to the observatory. The view at the top is amazing.

[B]

And then you would make your move.

[E]

I would.

[A]

What is your first move?

[B]

What is your move?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Fingers.

[E]

Well, first I. I'd start with. Well, are we talking like first move or like, first move?

[B]

That way? First move.

[E]

Well, start kissing her and see where it goes from there.

[B]

All right. All right.

[C]

Once I caught a fish.

[B]

Yeah. Are you? Yeah. She's pretty happy with it. Like, you seem okay with that. No. You don't like him anymore?

[C]

Well, the rotisserie grill, that's a good thing. No, that's a good thing. If he didn't just get his windshield.

[B]

Well, we're not sure. He was just throwing that out there. Yeah. Take her to dinner. And then would you like to go four wheeling with him and then get sexually assaulted in the woods?

[C]

I mean, I like to go four wheeling. I'd bring a friend, maybe.

[B]

All right.

[D]

Chaperone first.

[B]

Oh, you'd bring a friend first?

[C]

Well, if we're going to go out.

[B]

In the woods and he's got a history at F4s. You know what I mean?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Hanging over. Yeah. Would you be all right if her friend showed up?

[C]

If, if.

[E]

Yeah, that'd be fine.

[B]

All right, we'll stuff Banji in the back of the car and she'll keep an eye on everything for you.

[D]

Banshee.

[B]

Sarah, would you like to take this man out? I think he's our guy.

[C]

I'm thinking like the first one.

[B]

You want the other one, the boat.

[A]

That doesn't like faith no more.

[B]

Sorry about that.

[C]

No, no, not that guy. The other guy.

[B]

No, he's gone. You. You shut him down. You did. That's it. Gone.

[A]

We got two other ones if you want to try.

[B]

We'll try another. Kill these two. You don't want either of these guys. This is taking too long.

[D]

Yeah. With the guy with the boat was a Faith no more.

[B]

Yeah, he told him. So. Kill him.

[A]

John Chavez wants to know, thumbs in or thumbs out?

[C]

I don't know what that means.

[B]

I think it's butt play.

[C]

I don't know what I mean.

[B]

You into butt play stuff? Not into butt stuff. No, butt stuff. Sorry.

[C]

John, who was the guy that you said you like fight? Remember? You're like, oh, I like this guy.

[A]

You hung up on.

[B]

You hung up on that. That was the first guy. Stop, stop. We've got this covered. All right, we'll take one more. And this is the guy you're going out with. I don't even care. What's his name? We got line three. Yeah, this is it. It's taking too long. You're too picky, and you came here and we want to traffic you and it's not working. Edward, are you there? I'm here. All right, Edward, sell yourself to Sarah real quick.

[E]

I'm Eddie. I'm Five Eight. I'm £210. I got tattoos and a nice beard.

[B]

Ooh, that's nice. You like a beard?

[C]

I like. I prefer the five o' clock shadow.

[B]

Like, is it a thick beard? Like long ones that.

[E]

No, it's not super long, but it's. It's thick.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I just don't like the.

[B]

When you.

[D]

If you.

[C]

When you kiss a guy, like the. Like the mustache, battle through the gr. I don't like that.

[B]

Yeah, you know, it's how we feel about you. We don't want five o' clock shadow either. Rub it up against our lips.

[C]

No, I do like the five o' clock shadow.

[F]

I just did you see that? Our listeners listener, Aiden, is wondering if.

[B]

I have a shot. Would you like to date the trans guy?

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Our trans listener would like to take you out. Just the best of both worlds.

[C]

I'm okay on that.

[B]

Would you like Edward to. Where would you take her on a date, Edward?

[E]

Oh, wherever she prefer. Maybe like PF Changs or something.

[B]

PF Chang? You like that?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

All right. PF Chang sounds nice.

[A]

What's your favorite first move?

[B]

Yeah, what's your first move?

[E]

Oh, I don't know.

[B]

I'm.

[E]

I'm a bit of a nerd, so.

[B]

I'm a little shy. You're a little shy? What makes you a nerd? Do you have, like, a collection of Stranger Things stuff?

[E]

Ninja Turtles.

[C]

Okay. I like the Ninja Turtles.

[B]

Do you think you could have an orgasm in a room filled with Ninja Turtles? Maybe. Edward, do you think she could maybe.

[E]

I don't know. I mean, we could play with them.

[B]

Edward, have you ever brought a woman to orgasm or any of the turtles?

[E]

Oh, definitely not the turtles.

[B]

Okay. But a woman has had a pleasure with you. Yeah. Do you think of a splinter when you're trying not to orgasm yourself?

[E]

Definitely. Shredder.

[B]

You think of Shredder? Shredder. I don't know which one's what. All right. Okay, that's cool. All right. Would you like to go out with the nerd? Edward if. Yes, Yes.

[C]

I mean.

[B]

I mean, he seems safe. I think you can beat Ed. Edward up well.

[D]

And I don't.

[C]

And I definitely want a guy that I can't beat up.

[B]

Yeah, no, no. But I think he would take it. I think he could physically dominate you, but I think if you started swinging, he'd allow it.

[A]

You have an F4 or F6 under your belt or anything like that?

[B]

How long are you in jail for stealing Ninja Turtles?

[E]

Never went to jail.

[B]

This is amazing.

[D]

This is gold. He's an Eagle Scout.

[B]

Yeah. And you have a good credit score.

[E]

You said no.

[B]

Why? Is your credit bad?

[E]

I didn't say that. Oh, well, I got a expensive addiction. I buy all these Ninja Turtles.

[B]

Oh, the Ninja Turtles. Keep it so you can't get a house.

[C]

I buy a lot of Beanie Babies.

[B]

All right. Well, yeah. All right. Edward, I like you. I think you have. You've come in here and brought a little normalcy back to the felony parade that was walking through Sarah's life. Do you mind that Sarah's been to jail?

[E]

No.

[B]

Would your parents. It's still jail. Sarah Okay.

[E]

I don't think so.

[B]

Yeah. All right.

[E]

Divorced, so. They do way worse.

[B]

Probably. Okay. Have you ever dated a wackadoo before? Because I think you're walking down that road.

[E]

Oh, my goodness. That's the only ones I date.

[B]

That's right. They're the fun ones. That's right. Edward, hold on a second. We're going to get you a date with Sarah, and you two are going to be a Valentine's love story. Oh, that's right. Congratulations to Edward. That's nice.

[D]

That worked out.

[B]

You get some nerd with ninja turds.

[D]

All the way down to the.

[B]

Do you love nerds? I think you like guys who might burn the house down.

[C]

I love nerds. Okay.

[D]

I'm gonna say, what do you think he dropped in? Ninja Turtles?

[B]

I. I'm not asking that. All right, Sarah, that was interesting. I liked human trafficking. You. And I think he's going to take you to a PF Changs. Is that where he said he was going to go? I don't remember if that was him. Go back to it. No, that's. He's got to make a choice. Edward, where are you taking her to dinner?

[E]

What does she like to eat?

[B]

No, no, make it. Just be a man.

[A]

Be a man.

[B]

Thank you.

[E]

All right. All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

PF Changs it is.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Okay. Lettuce wraps.

[B]

All right. She likes the lettuce. There you go. All right. There you go keep it. All right, hold on a second. There you go. See, I like Edward. I think you guys are gonna make it. I think it's gonna work.

[C]

Okay, we'll do it.

[B]

You have to promise to have sex with one of the first takes. This is an hour of airtime you got.

[A]

Aiden just wrote in, says, hey, broad, you don't know what you're missing out on.

[C]

Yeah, chick with a.

[B]

That's right. Doesn't sound so bad when you say it.

[D]

That bring your guitar too.

[B]

What do you think your trump loving family would do if Aiden was the one you chose?

[C]

Pro? Probably my dad would shoot him on side.

[B]

Okay, that's murder. I don't think that's a good runs in the family.

[A]

Those F4s and F6s.

[B]

Hey, Sarah, we don't know what anyone looks like, but we're very excited that you and Edward will go out and hopefully this weekend very quickly. Okay. Are you okay with this? You seem a little bit off.

[C]

No, I'm okay.

[B]

All right. I'm good with it.

[C]

I'm good with it.

[B]

All right.

[D]

She can handle it.

[B]

She's gonna blow a nerd with ninja turtles. Congrats. It was a pleasure having you for our Valentine's trafficking show. We liked to traffic you and I hope he takes you across state lines.

[C]

I mean, I don't, but yeah.

[B]

I hope you end up in New Mexico or something like a hatch chili.

[C]

Or maybe even in Mexico.

[B]

Oh, maybe. Yeah. Could go down there and find Ms. Guthrie. All right. Congratulations. Sarah has a date. We've trafficked a woman right here live on the air, and we're happy with it. Sarah, excellent job. Thank you for offering your services to the city. And I didn't realize we had that many felons listening. This is a very, very powerful audience. It's the morning sickness. It's not weird.

[D]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[B]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness.

[C]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[B]

All right, Sarah's revealed a little more information here. And I'm not so sure that we can go on with our show with our out. The disclosure of.

[C]

Of what?

[B]

The.

[C]

The sugar daddy.

[B]

The sugar daddy.

[C]

The sugar daddy.

[A]

I'm doing a shot to that right now.

[C]

I feel like every.

[B]

All probably cuz we were asking her off the air. We were saying goodbye and she said she lives with her parents, right?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And that's just because. Just moved back in, saving some money. You move back in, you got some cash, the house.

[C]

I was In. They were selling it, so I moved back in with my parents just a few months ago.

[B]

Just. And so you're trying to get out of that house you got. You're just looking right now. So it's just a temporary situation.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But in the meantime.

[C]

In the meantime, I had a sugar daddy.

[B]

Where? And. And mom and dad don't know about that.

[C]

Well, my mom is a snooper.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

She found out, and she looked through.

[B]

My entire phone and found that you have a sugar daddy.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Y.

[B]

And did not probably go well.

[C]

It didn't go well at all. No, no, no.

[D]

But she said, how much? Okay.

[B]

And you were doing pretty well with the sugar daddy.

[C]

Four grand a month. That okay? But I cut him off. That's why I'm here.

[B]

That is not at all. All right, Sarah, you've been nice. Go sit on the couch over there before we find out more. All right. Poor Edward the turtle collector.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Is just way out of his league here with this one. This is. And she's doing another shot. Edward. Oh, Edward's. You've got to. Look, If Edward has 500 bucks, we at least do them right. Come on. Don't. Ugh. That.

[C]

No, no, no. It ain't like that.

[B]

All right?

[C]

Just do anybody for.

[B]

I know. Well, not 500. A thousand dollars. If Edward breaks out a thousand bucks, you're gonna bone him. She said, elsa, if you wear a condom, it doesn't count. That pulled up in court. Look, you, Honor, this is not prostitution. He had a condom on. It was like there was a wall between us. Do you know how hard it is for Brady to be in a room with you right now that you two love the same Jesus? He does.

[D]

He loves her.

[B]

Of course he does. He hung out with hookers, too. I know. Brett and I are having a blast with us. All right, Sarah, go sit on the couch. Go sit over by John Gordon. John, Hide your wallet. Got a thousand bucks, John. Sarah. She's fun. Sarah was fun. Do you have a thousand dollars? Let's pool our money and see if we can. I got a couple hundred dollars in my pocket. I can. Laundry.

[D]

There's an opening.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

We've been contacted by our legal department. They've sent over a lengthy just affidavit that releases us of all liability.

[B]

Oh, yeah. If. In case she kills. I was worried about the felons before. Now I'm worried for Edward's life.

[A]

If you caught a condom, it doesn't count.

[B]

Don't worry. That's right. And we'll tell Our legal department. Look, Edward had a condom on. It was like he wasn't in the room. Might as well have been a Zoom call.

[D]

That's what we should have done.

[B]

We should have done Zoom. She is the greatest terrible logic I've ever heard in my existence. You guys gotta count him on. That isn't a hooker. We're just friends. Sarah's a special lady. Sarah, you're a special lady. I'm glad you contested her treatment. AI wrote a song about it. Oh, 100%. 100%. Are you still talking? Oh, yeah. You're eventually gonna say something else. I'm gonna get back over there and admit to that crime.

[F]

You loaded her up with tequila.

[D]

What do you expect?

[B]

That's a good. I didn't. You brought it.

[D]

You asked me to.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. She drank it, but she drank it from a plastic cup. It was like it never happened anyway. Yeah, she did. Through a baby bottle. Through a nipple. I want to know about the sugar daddy thing. That came out of the blue right as we're saying goodbye.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[B]

I like that. It's a good story. All right. You're still going. No one can hear you. But I could barely hear you talking. Stop it.

[D]

I think that was the second time in 25 years that you've dealt with the sugar daddy that I've heard. Yeah. Story. We had a MILF contest. Oh.

[B]

You know, Brady, you've dealt with a.

[D]

Lot of people talked about it.

[B]

Sure. Sure. It makes it very uncomfortable.

[F]

Danny Cole was basically doing that with everybody.

[A]

She was.

[B]

Brady, you have a lot of those.

[D]

But this seems like it was more.

[A]

Than the only person.

[D]

Danny Cole was multiple. Yeah.

[B]

I'm not buying. Sarah. It all starts with. It all starts with one.

[A]

It only takes one.

[B]

It all starts. That wasn't your first sugar daddy, right? Yeah. There you go. That's what I br. You need to open at least. These rose colored glasses are definitely.

[D]

You're right.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Also our military.

[B]

How many of you? I'm gonna say five different guys that have been in this operation.

[F]

I'll say 10.

[B]

10? Ben.

[D]

3.

[B]

What? 3. It's 7.

[A]

We're going to noon today.

[B]

This. This is too good.

[A]

Take the day off. Larry.

[B]

Larry. You should go hang out in Larry's office. Larry's got a bag of gelt. He's offering. Oh, my God. All right, let's get. My favorite part of this whole thing is this guy.

[D]

Right?

[B]

The Pooh Bear is so uncomfortable humanity. You didn't like that at all. The room changed when she said that Pooh Bear went, oh, no. Oh, man. Same Jesus, different result.

[D]

No, I don't feel threatened by that.

[B]

No, no, she said you don't. I like it. Yeah. That's the fun of being an atheist, right? Is it when somebody else atheist goes, yeah, I'm a sugar. Didn't forget. Probably.

[D]

I don't know how you'd question her faith, John.

[B]

Right. It's in the commandments not to. It's time for Brady, the last man standing in this room.

[A]

I don't know he's gonna be entertained more than that, but we'll give it a shot.

[B]

I enjoy that. Edward, I want to go on the date now because Edward the turtle can't be topped. No, talk to her more.

[F]

We need to talk to Edward.

[B]

Edward the turtle boy.

[F]

We need to prep him.

[B]

You want to talk about turtles? His penis is going to be hidden.

[F]

All I think about is the agony of defeat guy.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he's going off the end.

[F]

He's just coming down smooth sailing.

[D]

We don't think it's love at first sight.

[F]

For him, probably.

[B]

Well, that's gonna end up for her.

[D]

It depends on how.

[B]

Somebody pointed out, like. Did you notice that the felons that were both wanted to take her to remote locations? Yeah, I want to take you up in the woods. Yeah. She liked. Like, that was a thing.

[D]

But the Walmart smart thing.

[B]

But I think that's the thing with felons. I think a felon here's a girl. Oh, she's been to jail. She can't get mad at me for it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So then they're gonna like, I'm. I'm a felon too, but so are you. And she, you know, that was fun. She's in Larry's office driving Larry crazy.

[D]

Larry's camera.

[F]

She is not a soft talk.

[B]

No. You know what's crazy about it is that guys, we're gonna have to get wedding gifts because that is Larry's gonna.

[A]

Marry that little man. Well, Brady's got six months. He's good.

[B]

Sorry, Edward. Larry stole her from. He's got six months. He's not going have to buy one.

[F]

This one's 12.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

You don't think Larry would hang on to that for 12 months?

[B]

Forever. And Larry's. She's going to be a Jew. She's converting.

[D]

That's the best part for. For Brady.

[B]

She denounces her Christianity.

[D]

If that's the case and present right away.

[B]

Yeah. People either said she's crazy or she's a blast. They couldn't Decide. And I think there's both.

[A]

I think it's kind of one in the same. There's both.

[B]

You're definitely going to get stabbed, and you're going to get wrapped up, but you'll have a good time doing it. John Gordon's going with crazy, but you'll.

[A]

Have a good time.

[B]

You're going to have the best time of your life.

[A]

You'll never forget it.

[B]

And then, even if the date's not going well, break out a few bucks. Close it up.

[D]

Well, putting the two and two together, this is a freebie weekend, I guess.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Get out there. You're going to get robbed. Sorry, Edward. He's got no credit already. You're going to get. He's going to be on ebay selling a bunch of Donatello. Donatellos are on sale right now.

[D]

Original, I hope.

[B]

They're worth a lot. I've got 890. It's not going to cut it, bro. We're going sell two more Donatellos.

[A]

I'll DJ the wedding for free, just.

[B]

So I can be there.

[A]

Yeah, no, I'm.

[B]

It's free. We're.

[A]

We're good.

[B]

Gold. Oh, my goodness.

[F]

All right, I'll kick in for the venue. They can't cost much in Coolidge.

[B]

Yeah. All right, Brady, it's time for the entertainment books brought to you by the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. And sometimes you have to see clearly. Both. I can see clearly now, Both literally and metaphorically. Dr. J. Schwartz can help you with the literal part.

[F]

Can we bring Katrina in and Sarah back?

[B]

She would quit. We don't have that kind of lifetime separate podcast. That is a lifetime of work.

[C]

Katrina.

[D]

Katrina would quit, but the amount that would lay out in the first meeting.

[B]

This was our first meeting, my sugar daddy and I. Wait a minute. What?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

She casually threw the sugar daddy. Yeah, like. Wait a minute. Wait. Stop. Pump the brakes there. Let's bring her back to sugar dad. All right, Brady, let's get to the entertainment. Dr. Jay Schwartz is waiting for your call so you can do a consultation and get your eyes fixed over there. Teamidoc.com he's the idocer for the Suns winners last night, hopefully again tonight against Oklahoma City and the Diamondbacks, who just reported their pitchers and catchers yesterday. TMIDoc.com it's the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Brady, entertain me.

[D]

Well, here's an idea form on their date. Several of The Friday the 13th movies are returning to Regal Cinemas on Friday 13th. It's Friday.

[B]

Oh, that's right. It's Friday the 13th.

[D]

I think the one only regal I know is the one on Mesa.

[B]

Yeah, there's only one Gilbert.

[A]

That one by that kind of stuff.

[D]

That is no longer. That's a church.

[A]

Oh, okay. All right. I mentioned Sal's.

[B]

I knew, you know, he knew Sals. Oh, that place says, has Larry gotten in on the coolage puss yet? It's been ten minutes.

[F]

Well, she's.

[D]

She's in there still.

[B]

This is it, man. I think Larry should take advantage of this. This is exactly the type of go.

[A]

Getter as a fellow wacko. Sarah sounds awesome.

[B]

Go, Larry. Yeah, go Larry.

[F]

Paige, I don't think you have half what she's got.

[D]

Sean Connory was offered the part of Hannibal Lecter. Oh, before Anthony Hopkins, but he was horrified by the script and turned it down.

[B]

He also would have been too suave.

[D]

Yeah, that would have changed.

[B]

It would have been terrible. Yeah, he's too tall, he's too domineering and too handsome. There was a weirdness about Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs that was both comfortable because he didn't look crazy, but he was also enough to go, oh, I don't know if Connery could have pulled that off.

[D]

The new Mummy movie with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss. Tell me of 2028.

[B]

Did you breastfeed your babies? Toughens the nipples. All right. I'd watch that, though.

[D]

Jafar Jackson says he really had to earn the role of his uncle in the upcoming Michael Jackson Bob biopic. So I watched a lot of film.

[B]

And the kid playing Michael sounds that trailer amazing.

[A]

I didn't Prince do it. I mean, come on.

[B]

It would have been too confusing. People thought it was a documentary. I mean, Prince. If Prince Jackson had Prince Jackson here. Hi, Brad. I heard you summon my name. What do you need, Tasha? Anyway, give us a little Ben.

[D]

Look normal, you know, we're gonna get back to you. That was great.

[B]

That's right. They wanted to bring me in for the. They said it's too many. Said, my God, why are we making a biopic of Michael Jackson, Shamron, if in fact he's still alive? And I said, I'm not actually Michael Jackson. I'm the son of Michael. And I know it's very confusing because I am of African American roots. So he. Brett, you asked the question. Why? I was just curious. People would have assumed it was a documentary drama. A documentary with the real Michael, and it would have been very confusing. So it's. It's the daily curse I have of looking exactly like my biological daddy.

[A]

It's tough being a black man.

[B]

It is hard. Brothers can't get a break. He he. It's hard out here for a pimp. Stop living out here, shimmer. Where my at? Anyone? Prince Jackson in the house.

[D]

It's a good moonwalk.

[B]

Thank you. I moonwalked right out the door. That's why Prince wasn't there. He still walks around saying that's his dad.

[D]

Our guy Dave Draiman from Disturbed suggested that he challenges any organization out there to put a festival together that has Bad Bunny and Kid Rock says why not bring everyone together, bridge the differences.

[B]

We got quit using everything to divide. I like Dave Draiman's idea. Brothers and sisters unite. He's been saying it for a long time. Why does music have to be representative of a. Of a political party and just let it go, have some fun. You know, I talked to a guy yesterday actually. It's on the podcast with Dale and Dave Nash. When they were like, ah, Bad Bunny said this about the United States. I'm like, one of the lines of Kid Rock songs is some call it statutory, I call it mandatory. I'm like, if you're gonna word police. Yeah, he ain't the guy to lean on. Well, we didn't say that about America. I'm like, yeah, but that's pretty bad if you want to be like this guy said something I didn't like. It's lyrics. Anyway, Sarah was a treat. We human traffic today, boys. Right now it's working out in Larry's.

[D]

Off office, so it might close the door.

[B]

I hope so.

[A]

Edward may be in trouble.

[B]

Yeah, Larry brought a thousand dollars.

[A]

He's got that guilt. He's ready.

[B]

We're done. 10 o'. Clock. Word is Ross. R O S S like the guy from Friends. Ross. Even though it's the dude from Nine Inch Nails. Nine Inch Nails? Tickets for the suite waiting on you. We'll find out in a couple days what Edward the Turtle man and Sarah did for a date. But I'm guessing it's gonna end with red and blue lights flying, flashing. We're done. We'll catch you guys tomorrow right here in the morning sickness. Hey, it's not weird.

[D]

It's pretty cool actually.

[B]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.