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You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
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It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about turfmonstersaz.com I have turf in my backyard and the only regret I've got is that I did not do this sooner. I have turned my backyard into a playground. I got a putting green, I got a pitching green, I got a sport court and I got loads of turf. I never have to worry about dying or looking bad or watering. You can do it too. If you can dream up a beautiful backyard, the gang over there at Turf monsters can make it a reality. All you have to do is check them out. Turfmonstersaz.com this episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at progressive.com, progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Pricing coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Morning sickness.
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You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
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98 the yield. That's all I'm thinking about. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It's 5:45. My name is John. How are you? God, come on, Brett. There's Brady. Brett Fessley just reminded me of something I completely forgot about. Toledo's there and I gotta pee. Oh my goodness. This. It's the morning sickness. And hopefully you're up and running on this glorious Wednesday. Two simple words have thrown me off completely. And those words are Jew. Travolta, you bastard. And now that's all I can think about. Larry had a coat. He wore McFeely to a Christmas party. And it was the same style that John Travolta wore in Saturday Night Fever. We called him Jude Travolta for star.
A
Out on the chain.
B
The gold chain and everything. Oh yeah.
A
I think I got a picture of that somewhere.
B
Like, yeah, how you doing? Shalom. What's going on? And now. And I totally forgot about it. And that's on me. I got to remember great things like that. I know that's. That's weak on my end, but I'm starting to think maybe, you know, I've got that solopsism thing and it is a. A a philosophy. It is, it is. I don't know if it's a popular thing. It's not, but it's known as the only sense of self. It's a isolationism of your thoughts, meaning that your consciousness is all that exists. You cannot prove, outside of what you know, to exist at all, because. What are you talking about? If you don't know about it, you can't talk about it. So does it exist? And solopsism is that. But I'm starting to think maybe Brett is in control of my consciousness because. Well, yeah, because the Eileen.
D
Two words took it over.
B
Oh, no, no, beyond that. But prior to that, I was thinking about this last night because I went home and that Eileen goo. We were talking about y. Who's that amazing Chinese skier that's from San Francis. Beautiful woman and, you know, prettier than she is. Well, no, that's not true, because her skill is unmatched. And then I'm watching, and the men are doing that unmatched ski skill that it's just. It's literally. There's flying through the air, spinning and flipping on purpose and landing backwards and skiing. I can't. I can't even do, like, a skateboard routine on Spain. And they do it on snowboards, too, but on skis. To. To land and go backwards on skis. When I tried the first time I tried skiing, I didn't make it going forward, let alone.
D
I was.
B
I was stumbling over my. I was just. The skis just kept going over you. They gotta do the pizza. And I don't understand any of this. They're. It's a skill. It's unmatched, so. And yesterday we talked about Eileen Gu, who skis for China. And last night, I'm watching again, and you know what the event is called. And I think you're in charge of my own mind now, Brett. I think you have. It's called slopestyle. I'm like, you can't name it that with people like Brett in the world.
D
Well, they're dominant.
B
Well, yeah, but slopestyle is like. I hear that. And normally, I mean, I'm a normal human being because I know you. I immediately went. Because I thought of him hearing that watch if he had the Olympics, and he's taking one of his little sips of coffee, you know, hey. Oh, like your whole house would have exploded to that.
A
That's why I've been watching the Olympics.
B
You shouldn't. But I'm like, brett's in charge of something. Like, he's making my life harder. I would have. I wouldn't have laughed at that last night, thinking, oh, Brett's gonna. This would kill a guy. And then you Bring up Jude Travolta to start today. Damn you. No, you're watching slopes. No, no, no. Oh, there's the picture of June Travolta. Oh, my God, look at that coat. You still have photos of it? My Facebook. Wow. Way back when, man. How many years ago was Ju Travolta?
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2016.
B
Geez. We're looking at nine and a half years ago for the Christmas party. Holy smokes. All right, well, there you go. That's. That's going to be on my brain when I see Larry later today. I'm going to lose my mind. I'm hoping he's wearing it. Maybe he'll wear it for us. Larry's got potentially a big day because we're going to turn a woman out to the streets. We're going to prostitute a lady today. She asked for it. It's not. It's not our doing, but she's coming in and she asked us a week ago. I guess she's. She's ready to get back in the world of. Of the living and she's like, I'm alone for Valentine's Day. I'm awesome. And pimp me out. So. Okay, she seems normal. So we will have her in and we will let one of you. We're going to give away a person today. Normally give away like concert tickets or something. Today on the podcast, we give away humanity and kind of think that's called trafficking, but in a weird way, Love, John. I don't think you can say that. I think if you do that, you're definitely. Yeah. Sex trafficking. I think that's Just say we're giving away a person. You do whatever you want with it. Well, that's worse. Okay. Yeah. You're just gonna win a person today and I don't think she's. I don't think this is just for men. I think if you wanna. If you're a lady and you want a Galentine's and then maybe scissor. I don't know. I don't want you people. You can do whatever you want with her afterwards, so long as she says it's okay.
A
No cb' ing today, Brady. Yeah, don't get her number.
B
She's. Yeah, well, if you want to get her number, go ahead. But. Yeah, pay attention. That. Be mindful that we're pimping someone out and it's not time to talk about their morality or question any of that. We gotta. She needs to go to the highest bidder really is what. We actually could do it that way. I don't know if that's legal. Possibly. Just have donations to the Humane Society and then everybody kicks in, straight up. And then we draw. I know that's buying in, but it's unlike any other radio contest. You're not supposed to. Dave Pratt used to do it. He's a prick. But he used to charge you to get in contests. I still don't know how he hasn't gotten in trouble for that. But he used to charge you to get into contests and he'd take your money, put it in his foundation, and then have a tax write off for himself. It's brilliant how. It is sort of brilliant that he got. Look, I'm going to give him the tip of the cap. He got away with it. It is one of the most crooked things I've ever seen. So we're not. We're mindful of that. But one thing he never did was auction off a human being. And I don't know that that's. I don't know. I think we're almost Belichickian in this. I don't know that they have a rule for that.
D
You know, it's our own Groundhog's Day. Bill Murray's up. Remember Annie McDowell bid on him.
B
Oh, yeah. Well, it's a bachelor auction. I guess that's kind of. Maybe we'll do a bachelorette auction. Yeah, but then you just. But that's the thing where you just get the highest bidder. All the other guys don't have to pay. I want everybody to find a good suitor. Well, I want an entry fee and then a drawing. I don't care if it's a good suitor. I don't care if the dude is the murderer. She put herself out there. I hope he's not. But there's a possibility, when you say, give me to an entire audience, okay, that you're going to end up with a. Like a strangling guy or something. One of those types. I know. I read my emails. I'm. I'm not putting myself up there with these people for lunch at a, you know, pizza place. Andre has said, can we call it Epstein's Love Island? I don't know if that's a good idea. I think everybody. And look, if you've got an underage boy that you'd like to auction to her, like, if you want to buy her for your teen son, I think that's a solid idea.
D
I just saw a fun fact on the island.
B
It had a pokey stop on it for the fish.
D
Pokemon.
B
Oh, sure, yeah. If you had phones, you had a Pokemon stop. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. You had to. You had to keep the kids entertained when you were sleeping. The kids had. They have something to do. But. Yeah. I don't know what you. I don't know what this girl expects or what we're doing with her, but we're going to auction off a human being today. And that hasn't been said since Lincoln. I think kind of proud of ourselves. I don't know how it works. She's a volunteer, she's not a hostage. We'll make that clear right off the bat. And please, at home, as always, no wagering. That's all we ask. That's all we ask. No, no, no. No wagering. But that's where we're going to draw the line. Can't bet on it because then we can rig it and I'm not interested in any of that. But she's going to. Her name is Sarah and she's been begging. She might be annoying. She's been begging to come in here and she's like, I need to find someone who likes the same things I like. Starting with this show and. All right. And then Rich and I talked about it. Like, let's. If she wants to do it, do.
A
We reserve the right to end the auction early or. I mean, just if she's annoying or something.
B
Oh, she's annoying. John will say so.
A
Okay.
B
I'm just making sure. John will tell you. I'll be right on top of that. Okay, that's enough. But, you know, and then we have to have a follow up. So she may have to come back tomorrow if she's up for it. The dates. Well, I don't know if they want to go out tonight or whenever. Monday, Valentine's Day. That's why we're doing this.
A
What, Saturday, right?
B
Saturday, yeah, I think that's right. So if you take her out on the weekend.
D
But Friday and Saturday would be the big days.
B
Yeah, Yeah, I think if. I think the game's called 13th. How will you be a gentleman to. This is what we wanted to call it for the longest time in honor of our old friend Freddie, who often used to say, I was a. I was a gentleman to that bitch. It was a great phrase. Yeah. So she'll be in here a little later. And I. I don't know that it's illegal. It's technically.
A
Check out the box.
B
Somebody says it's technically not trafficking, but the line is paper thin here. As long as she's not getting paid or Getting tickets. You're. Or monetiz of this. You're good. She is getting hopefully a free meal from a listener. But we're not paying for anything, right? I mean, it might float.
D
I love connection to it because they, like, they went on a date.
B
I think that was just matchmaking, which is sort of what we're doing. But. But I'm saying if we charged or had a fee.
D
Yeah, I think there's a. I don't think that's. That's like a lottery or something.
B
Oh, sure, sure. But again, there's no way that in the legalese of radio they've ever said including humans. So it's that Belichick rule going. Well, you didn't mention it. So it's not. So what would they. After we auction her off and give all that money to the Humane Society, then they'd say, you know, you're not allowed to do that. I'm like, well, show me where it says I can't auction off a human being. It's like, well, you can't take money for a contest. I'm like, show me that. We're an auction. And they'd have to write new laws, and we'd just be like, oh, you got. And then. And then we're like, all right, we'll never do it again. I don't know how it works. And it is sort of a bachelorette at auction. But, hey, how about this? Anybody who offers gets a spin, right? Like, if you talking about anybody who gives, they're entered and she's got to take them somewhere. Like, oh, okay. Like, we'll do five minute dates with her, and she'll start at, like, speed dating. Six in the morning on Valentine's Day. And we'll just sit. I'll come in Saturday just to monitor this, Brady, you know, enough restaurant people that we can cater it and just have little snacks and coffees and dudes will line up around the block and for a $20 donation to the Humane Society, get to come in here and have a speed date with her. And if it all works out, dinner that night.
A
Is this the Houston 500?
B
I think that's what I'm trying to run here. I think that's a bad.
D
Not a bad. On the same page.
B
Yeah. I mean, I think that's what I'm trying to do here is facilitate the Houston 500. Somebody had to be the organizer of that. It can't just be her. She's busy.
D
Yeah, they had signups.
B
Yeah. This guy says, tell her to keep it short. Don't wreck time for Rock Wars. It could be a good one today. All right, well, we'll work on that, burner boy. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, I don't know if we can do that yet, but we'll try. For sure. We'll try to make her. The Sarah sale to work says please post pics. Today is the pre sale, basically the value setting phase of the deal. If she's good, you may have to crowdfund or gather some assets. If she's not, a huge blow to her ego. Well, that's the fun of the radio contest. I mean, if she's. If she comes on here and you know, we're like, okay, here she. And she just craps the bed and nobody's. And everybody's like, I'll give you a buck for this one. Like, that's fun for us. That wins for us. If she's great and everybody wants to, you know, take her, that's great for us, too. I really don't see a loss for us unless she's dull. And that's just the worst thing as a human being. You can be as a dull person. So we'll see, but the excitement must. And if you're one of those guys and you know, Valentine's Day, I'm not sure. We'll ask her if she's a sure thing.
D
And she didn't sound dull?
B
No, she's. Well, she seems a lot. Yeah, I'll start there. I like her. Like on the emails of exchange back for. She's playful and fun and like, not. And Larry's the one that I want in on this more than anybody. McFeely comes dressed up as Ju Travolta today. Oh, man. He's got an advantage over everyone else because he's live in person. Could be a disadvantage as Brett just looks at me in the eyes with a. I didn't say anything. You didn't have to.
A
Comes in swinging that. Never mind.
B
This is a good one. Hey, will Brady be putting his cleaner on the auction block later? No, no. See, you're not understanding. We're not just auctioning off everyone. Although, would you.
D
No.
B
Can we bid out Rodney.
D
Exclusive rights.
B
Just to scratch that itch for what? Are you owning things over here? What is this? Come on. Yeah, that's ownership. Yeah. This one says, I graduated in 85, and even then we used to have a slave day auction at McClintock and Corona every year. Well, that's just. Teachers would volunteer and be auctioned along with the promen queen and king does that fly today? I don't think you can call anything a slave auction anymore. Pretty sure that I get put in the bin. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com why choose.
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A sleep number Smart bed. Can I make my site softer?
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Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
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B
Holmberg's morning sickness. I want to know in the last though, who's the holdout on the high school slave auction? Nope. We've been doing it since I've been a kid and we're doing it again. I don't care what the political right. The woke world wants to not have slave auctions anymore. It was for fun. And a lot of the times, you know, and especially at like my high school, there were like two or three black guys and one of them was almost always prom king because he was the best athlete on the football team and he was at least in the running. And we wouldn't have gotten away too. I don't, I don't know that you're supposed to have slave auctions and that's just uncomfortable. Probably did it though. I don't remember. I didn't go to any of those events. So Roosevelt was the prom king, huh? Oh, yeah, no, no, we had, you know, we had some good athletes that, you know, were in on this thing and what have you found?
D
The slave auction is over.
B
Oh, that's when they threw him to the Lions afterwards. The ones that didn't get picked. Is that from Bill?
A
He can't. He can't because they only Christians. He's a Jew.
B
Oh, that's right. It's this history of the world because.
D
I happen to know that the lions only eat Christians.
B
Christians and I am a Jew. Well, you'll be the Lions Today. And Stephen, I think you've misunderstood this. His email says, this sounds like a gang bang. No, no, no, no, no. It's very classy and we'll figure it out from here, but I don't know. I don't know what we're up to. Brady will not be putting Rodney on the block. That is. That's for later. We can't do that in the same day. That's not for Valentine's Day. Maybe we can be afterwards. What we could do is throw in Rodney so you can clean your house up while you're on the date, and then you come home to a clean house. You know, nothing worse than a girl coming to your house and it's filthy.
A
That's a bachelor pad.
B
Yeah, it's very. Yeah, it's very impressive to a woman, Especially the bathroom when they go in and go, do you have a maid or something? Or do you do. Are you this tidy? You have a nice bathroom. My friend Colin, his bathroom was so bad, I wouldn't go pee in it. It's not anymore, but back in the day, I went to his apartment and I said, I need your bathroom. He goes, yeah, the hallway. It's just that. A two bedroom apartment. And he was sharing it with another dude. They. You know, roommate time, I think, like, probably in our early 20s. And I go into the bathroom and I'm like, do you shave in the toilet? What? Like, when is the last time this got cleaned? What are you talking about? Full of hair. And then the mung that develops on the sides of toilets when you don't scrub them after. Like, it was milk. It was. It was that. It was just disgusting. And I'm like, I won't even pee in that. Like, I'm gonna go somewhere else and pee outside. I'm gonna go pee outside. And. And then I had another friend named Jeff Glaser. Called him Shrubby. That dude shed like an Aussie shepherd. And went into his bathroom, and the floor, you could feel. You could see just a. A ton of. He had a. His other nickname was Jewfro. He had this unbelievable amount of hair on his shoulders and his back and his. And I'm like, you're never. And he always complained that girls didn't like him enough. I can tell you exactly why they come to your house and see your bathroom. No one's staying for that. So we can get Rodney over to your house if you win the human auction today. And we'll have him clean up. Brady, you need to contact Rodney.
D
I will.
B
And. Or let him out of whatever you have him trapped in and then. And send them over to whoever wins the human auction with Sarah today.
A
People want to know what time the sale starts.
B
She's going to get here around 8. We're going to start at about 8:30. Okay. 8:30 will be the sales start time. It says, can you please provide her stats? Not sure. Brett, when she gave us her name, went on her Instagram page and said, But I'm assuming. I'm gonna throw it out there. She's about 5, 8, 5 7. I'd say 530 pounds. It says height, weight, bust, hips, gag reflex. I think bust is probably 34cc or B hips. Reasonable. I don't know a number on that. And gag reflects no is the word that the incident to be determined? Yeah, that's up to you to find out, my friend. You know, leave a little mystery in there. You report back after the date if she's got one. Cranston says, how many kids? How old are they? What's the total of her last billet? Postino? Yeah, that's a good question. These are questions you can ask her when we start the human auction a little later. And Adam says, her voice to me will go a long way. Personality will hit hard. But yeah, if she's got an annoying voice.
A
We don't know voice either.
B
No, we don't. Never. Never heard her. I mean, maybe there's a video on Instagram. We're not going to give it away right away. And if I was her, I would cancel my Instagram immediately. But yeah, later today. And Brady, don't get nervous. We're going to auction off a human being, so please try to not get in the way of that.
D
I'm okay.
B
You sure? You don't sound okay. You're getting beat up by the allergies. I can hear that. So your brain might be in a fog. And once we start to sell our human to another human, I question whether or not you're gonna not get involved in that. We've had Valentine's day games before. B.B. jones picked Larry McFeely on a Valentine's Day thing to have a nice night out, and Brady asked for a piece of.
A
Oh, that was the day.
B
Oh, okay. Larry was literally gonna make the move. And then I heard Larry say, so I'll call you and maybe we can hang out. And Bibi's like, sure. And then I heard, why don't you hand that number over here, too? I run a restaurant. You might be interested in popping on over when Larry strikes out. Oh, I see. I just give my number to everybody then. Yeah, that's the best way this works. Trust me, you don't anything to do with this guy.
D
Tick tock, Larry. Time's up.
B
He's gonna be too high to be hard anyway, so don't you. Wouldn't you rather have a belly full of meat than a mouthful? All right, I'm just playing. Work off. Let's open 24 hours a day. He threw a pitch at her. She never came to the restaurant, did she? I don't think she was much of a barbecue gal.
D
Oh, she said she liked barbecue.
B
Well, everybody says that, but I mean, I don't think she's running out to go. Barbecue night. I don't see a lot of porn stars.
D
Oklahoma.
B
That's pretty.
D
Maybe pretty popular.
B
Could be. You may be right. By the way, my theory about what's going on with with the Savannah Guthrie thing at one week ago, I said it seemed like a ploy or some sort of a setup. It has a very Jussie Smollett vibe to it. I have a guy who emails me and says he's with the FBI and he's retired. And he's like, none of this has added up right down to this video they released yesterday. Now I'm fully vest. I'm. I am invested in finding Savannah's mom and knowing what happened. Uh, again, whoever wants to kidnap an 85 year old woman is out of their minds in the first place. That ain't fun. Hanging out with an 85 year old woman for three hours is enough. This guy's had her for a week. If she's still alive, he's going crazy. Medicines. I'm cold. Where's my soup? I'm thirsty. What time is it? Judge Wapner. Where's. No, he's been dead for years now. I want to watch Wapner. You got to go get her old VHS tapes. This dude's in a night rod of insurer.
A
I'm sorry.
B
Jesus Christmare trying to take care of this lady. Which is why these ransom notes come and go as he's busy shopping at Walgreens for insurer and diapers and you.
D
Know this would be impossible to do. What are you talking way like you see activity going on?
B
Oh, sure. If a young man is buying insurers.
D
Any of those medications.
B
Well, sure. Well, that's prescription. That's different. He's not getting those. He's doing the best he can to try to make good. If he's stupid enough to go filler prescriptions we know who it is, but he's getting tennis balls for the bottom of the walker. He had to buy or he's recently bought one of those. You know those. Those little stands you put around the toilet so she can not fall. And like the last thing he needs, her tumbling and breaking a hip. I still don't buy everything we're being told. This video comes out yesterday and it's just a dude walking up to a ring camera in the full ski mask and everything else come on. And then. And then he put weeds over the camera. Look, a camera. And then he puts weeds on it. But you know, what I said a week ago couldn't be more true. And it's a successful ruse if it is a here I go again with my goddamn Alex Jones stuff. Well, I guess we're done with Minnesota. It's not even been talked about for like four days now. I'll eat your ass. It's not even talked about, which is what I said this was to begin with. This is a way that they started something else to go. Get this off of the television. Still, people died. And nobody's talking about that nurse anymore. Nobody's talking about the lady that got shot in the car trying to run that guy over. No one's talking about any of that. All we're on is now. So does anybody care about anything really? Or is it just timely protesting and timely pat yourselves on the back. And now it's the. Oh, wait, Savannah Guthrie's mom's more interesting than walking around in 20 below zero in Minnesota, those people are still dead and still some affront to all of democracy according to what was going on a week ago. And now nobody's doing it. Maybe they're still there, but it's not getting covered and no one cares.
A
It's kind of what I was thinking on the way in today. It's just. Seems it went away that. And all of a sudden they're. They. They got the whole country after this old broad. Like if somebody from Maryville disappeared or, you know, Globe or something, you wouldn't see the FBI out there and everything else. It just.
B
This always goes back a little much to the Dave Chappelle. And was it Chris Rock who said that thing about, you know, when it's. It's funny, the news will choose the ones that get the most. But there's missing black kids all the time. There's missing, you know, news. And cavern it like this. This is an awkward amount of entertainment that you're being fed. And every little piece is Another, you know, Dateline NBC special waiting to happen. And we just want to see how it ends. We're. We're watching a Dateline episode unfold live. And so they had some dude wrapped up in Rio Rico, by the way. Don't know where that is, but learned last night. And I was at the Suns game with Robin Sewell. Her husband is partners with a friend of mine in business. And I didn't know that. And Robin Sewell, who hosts Arizona Highways TV was there and I, you know, I'm asking her questions about places to go and this and that, like what she done. And then I go home and see Rio Rico and I looked it up and Robin's done a thing on Rio Rico. Very interesting. So never heard of this, never done that. They closed the El Paso airport. For some reason they're tying it back to this. Oh yeah, the 6am Word. I forgot. Good thinking.
D
2,300 people a day are reported missing in the U.S. right.
B
And it just so happens that when we're all up in arms about what went on in Minnesota, this starts, I said it last week. This feels awfully convenient for, you know, the news entertainment world to get out of this mess because each side was stepping in it. And now we've got a kind of unifying entertainment based thing that will turn political when they arrest a guy who's not a citizen of the United States. That's coming now. We're down on the border looking for people like, I know what's going to happen next. They're going to arrest a guy who's not a citizen. And then all the arguments are going to turn back around into you're going to do something about immigration or not. The 6am word today for the Nine Inch Nails thing is fragile. Fragile boy. This is a perfect word. Fragile is the word right now. If you want to put it in there on your app or@98kupd.com try to get on the suite that feeds. March 6th. These are today's code words. Will each and every hour give you a new one. Put it in there and get qualified for that. Yeah.
A
Learned where Rico, Rio Rico was down south.
B
It's about an hour south of Tucson last night. And so it just seems so choreographed. Nothing feels.
D
I thought it was the restaurant there on Val Vista and Guadalupe. It's Rio Rico.
B
Of course you did. Are you okay? Yeah. We're worried about Brady. You look like you're getting beat up. Your eyes are barely open. You're just getting clobbered today. Yeah. Is it allergies or are you a sick man? Do you think. Do you know for sure?
D
I. I think it's allergies.
B
Okay. It's not fun being a snot bag.
D
It's better today than it was yesterday.
B
Yeah. Yeah. Today you look like it's got you. That's all right. Just went through it myself. It sucks. He's not lying that it sucks or what? Oh no. There's Rio Rico. Brady was right. Yeah. His brain still works on Brady. Could get Alzheimer's like 100% full blown alts today and he'd be laying on his bed walking. And you just see his little eyes. Who are you? I'm John. We've known each other for almost 30 years. Oh, I don't. We used to eat at. I forget the name. Mongolian barbecue place. That was on Elliot and that weekend.
D
Could I pick anything up for you?
B
I don't remember you, but I know what you're talking about. I've been Espanados with him. This stream stranger.
D
That was me.
B
There's Rio Rico and it's a video now running on there. See what Brad is. This is what I'm talking about. When the human auction starts, don't do this. And then we'll have videos of Rio Rico up and everybody will be talking about their last trip to Rio Rico. That distracts against the sex trade that we're running. This morning, visit homebird's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Homburg's morning sickness.
D
That was real.
B
Rico Brady. Oh my God. You're ruining it. And go ahead, review it.
D
It's okay.
B
Yeah, Not a big fan of three stars and apparently. Huh. It's a three.
D
They took over the old Casanova.
B
Okay.
D
Building. Yeah.
B
It's okay.
D
It's okay.
B
Nothing special. You don't go out of your way to go to Rio Rico. You don't think they're going to find the guy or Savannah Guthrie's mom there? Probably. That's not the real Rico. Okay. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one says it's going full circle up in Minnesota. No one's talking. They've created citizen appointed checkpoints to make sure. Yeah, See, you get into this weird thing that now it's some weird deal up in Minnesota that no one's in. It's too convoluted and it's going to be messy.
D
And some lady was on yesterday talking about Savannah Guthrie had an interview with Epstein and she was in the files. And this is a twist that you know, this is a diversion.
B
Epstein's involved in all of it? Yeah. Everything feels like a diversion. That video in front of everybody. The girl on the news this morning said, the video we all saw that will probably haunt every one of us for the rest of our lives. And I'm like, no, it won't. I'll forget about this next week.
D
Twice I heard haunting.
B
I mean, it's weird.
D
Yesterday, multiple times. And then they're like, oh, they're gonna put this haunting video up.
B
It looks like every ring camera. And then the dude's got a ski mask and a backpack and all this stuff. And then he's. His plan was so insane. To pack up all his supplies, get in disguise, put the gloves on, put the outfit on, and he didn't once think, does she have a ring camera? He didn't walk up with, like, a piece of plywood to cover the ring camera in case it was there. He walks up and is surprised by it. Spray paint, marker, anything. Yeah, you gotta think in your head, I'm gonna abduct this lady. And I'm totally prepared for it with my costume, which is what it seems it is. And then I'm gonna walk up to the camera, go, oh, no. Nabbed. And then go get some weeds and then just try to put it. No.
D
Most people would say, okay, I'm glad that happened, but she didn't have a subscription.
B
She had a subscription, so. But you could look.
D
But they have it recorded.
B
Here's something you don't know.
D
Everything's in the bank, in your phone.
B
Every keystroke, whether you send or not, is stored. They can get it. Like, if you. If I type, brady, I'm gonna kill you in your sleep tonight. I can't send that. And I deleted it. It's stored. They can get it. They can get that. Everything you've ever put in your phone can be brought out through some legal stuff. It's. That's what that giant building underground in Utah is. They are storing everything. So these ring cameras aren't just recording for you. You have to pay for the subscription. It still gets recorded. It's not just a live camera. Like, well, you didn't pay for it, so we didn't do it. It's a monitoring device that stays on reason, like these cameras are. I have my cue. And I know for a fact, because I. When I said, all right, I'm gonna up my subscription and I want to see stuff from the other day, it loaded up the two days I said, I. It didn't say you didn't have a subscription. We didn't store that. It's like, okay, here you go. Your request is art. We got it. I'm like, perfect. So, dude walks up to a house in Tucson, looked pretty nice. Everything's set up, planned, ready to go. He didn't account for a security camera. And he looks right at it.
D
And a pro would go pick weeds up to block it.
B
A dude would have looked and said, oh God, there's a camera. And plus, you have to also know that walking down the street, which is what he did, other houses have cameras. You're not doing this. Even the dumbest guy in the world is not going to do what he did and then go pick those flowers. And plus, here's the thing. When you walk away, the FBI has ways of body imaging scans to know exact height, weight, width, how big the eyeballs. They can do anything. And this dude just happened to be clumsy at that moment.
D
And most likely they were sitting on that for a while, like, okay, this is the time to unleash that one. Because they kind of did that with the Boston bombing.
B
Well, the Boston bomb. Well, they had. The dude was loose. Yeah, but they didn't have roll out.
D
The pictures right away.
B
Sure. They wanted people because there was so many eyeballs out. You know, two in the morning would have been different, but. But it just feels funny. And none of it feels again, I'm going, I'm turning, I'm turning bright red.
A
We just offer our children up to.
B
The system with the fluoride and the.
A
Water and the GMO hurting them, and.
B
We let fat perverts grab them at the airport to train them for the pedophile government. So simple. Alex is living in my living rent free now. Up in my mind, up in my monogam. But yeah, and then they said they had a guy detained last night and they went over to the. That dude's mother in law's house, knocked on the door and she goes, I'm the mother in law. And they just kicked her out of the way, went in there and just raided that place. And then they let him go. You imagine if Burt turned out he stole somebody? Good chance.
D
Whoa.
B
And then they're knocking on our door and they're like, you're working with him, right? I'm like, yeah. And then they just come in and look for all like, he was never here.
D
We see the last thing you sent Mr. Vesely was a carnival cruise hellcat.
B
Pretty hilarious Instagram thing. But yeah, I don't know. Just. It's all.
A
Wouldn't be that clumsy.
B
Of course not. And you're not a criminal.
A
No.
B
Well, nobody's that clumsy. No one. And I think, again, it goes back to my theory about the Kennedy. Then I'm gonna go conspiratorial again. The Kennedy assassin. No one can accept that maybe one dude did this. No one can accept the simplest answers because it means we're all, as the word suggests for 6am, fragile. We're all susceptible to, you know, something weird happening and one. One goofy dude can end it. Right. And that's the one thing about the Kennedy thing no one talks about. We just won't believe this dude was in all these meetings and got fired up and said, I'm gonna do this for. For my friends. I'm gonna be a hero amongst. And he did it alone. You can't just change the course of history of one lone nobody. So we don't like when this stuff happens, when it's just like, did a dude just bust in and take an old lady? There's nothing we can do about that. We need it to be interesting. We need it to be deeper. We need the Epstein files involved. We need it to have tons more meaning when sometimes it's just a crazy family member that wants some money and he busts down the door and steals his aunt. I have a friend whose aun just recently was sitting in her house. Neighbor just decided to eeny meeny miny mow the places in the neighborhood. Walked into her place with an AR15 and lit her up. Never met her. I mean, the lone nut bag thing. People don't want to accept that it's a possibility. And the Epstein files weren't involved. And none of this stuff was like, oh, it's deeper. There's a conspiracy. Sometimes it's just some dude lost it it. Good morning. Good morning. How you doing this morning? How's everybody for an auction off a person later. So, yeah, people are saying, oh, no, it's the Epstein files. And we're going to have. Savannah Guthrie's mom was in. Like, she's in it, so she's got to go. Really. But it is awfully interesting because it's. It's got all of us, you know, the news won't stop. I won't stop. I was talking to my buddy Jeff last night, Suns game. He goes, I'm so in on this. Like, it's so interesting to me. And he agrees. He's like, none of this feels right. And we're given just little bits of pieces of information so we can try to figure out that, you know, we can Scooby Doo, the mystery ourselves. But yeah, sometimes you just want to go Brady's route. Valderi Valderon not care at all about it. But it is interesting. But I'm leaning towards family member on this one. And I think maybe Savannah doesn't know. And the family member would also be that jealous brother or brother in law that's like, Savannah's making $15 million a year at the Today show. We're getting screwed. She gives all the money to her mom and then they want a piece of that. So they hatch this plan and now they're stuck with her because Nobody's taking an 85 year old woman unless they know her. I mean, I'd bust in to take someone. If There was an 85 year old in there, it would be like, man, they're out of the people I want to take. She can stay.
D
And what does. You know? Yesterday, evidently TMZ said for the first time there was activity in the bitcoin account connected to the ransom note.
B
I don't know.
D
What does that mean?
B
I don't know what any of that means.
D
Track that down.
B
You'd think so.
A
Maybe he sold some ethereum off and bought some bitcoin.
B
You know, you never know. It's a good time to dump some of that stuff, but it's also a great time to buy. Yeah. If you go to Coinbase right now and get in on XRP or bitcoin, I highly recommend. And it's at a low right now and it's a really good buy time. So maybe that's what the kidnappers were like. Didn't you know? Maybe Mrs. Guthrie was napping because it was noon and that's what she does. And they had some time between oatmeal servings to go on bitcoin and go. You know, it's dropped down to like140. Its previous high was 3,325. Good time to get in on this one.
D
We get 6 million today.
B
If we get our 6 million, I'm gonna put it all in bitcoin because it's down to 70 and that stuff was at 120 less than a year ago. We're gonna kill it. You don't kidnap an 85 year old unless you know her patterns. You kidnap your mom, Brady, because she's 85, right? Or around there.
D
86. Yeah.
B
You know, she's gonna need her pills. She's gonna need this and that. You. You don't just kidnap her.
A
You gotta have a goddamn walk in, shower put in.
D
Exactly she doesn't have any of that. I don't know how long.
B
She wouldn't make it long and you know that. That's so you wouldn't take that chance. With an 85 year old. You're gonna assume she's super healthy. If you're a kidnapper who wants ransom, last thing you want is a dead body. This doesn't make any sense. None of it. None of it. And everybody's, you know that she, Savannah Guthrie, was the one that interviewed a couple of the ladies and whistleblow the Epstein thing with a couple of the girls that he was bad to. So I don't know. It is interesting. It's fun. Have fun with that. Meanwhile, we're gonna auction off humans later. And I think that's the most important thing that happens there. Although we do have to celebrate one thing that's come from this. And I don't know how tied it is to the guts. They've shut down El Paso. No flights in, no flights out, which is what I've been screaming to do for 100 years now. Why in the world would anybody be flying into El Paso? They said they shut the airport down at El Paso International. They have an airport that they think people from other countries are going to come to El Paso. There's a border you just walk across. It's easy. Yeah, the. The airport at El Paso, they said it was. They banned all flights in and out, which means zero flights were affected coming in. Nobody's going to El Paso. That's not a ticket anyone buys. Got a fly into El Paso today. Big business deal. Said no one ever.
A
Why haven't they closed the Tucson airport then?
B
Well, that's next, hopefully. That or the bus station. Albuquerque, Tucson and El Paso's airport shut down and 0% air travel disruption because there's nobody going there. It's a gift to say you can't go to El Paso. I've been telling people that for years. I had a friend, Steve McCollum who runs it was on Dale's show with him, went to El Paso for the sun Bowl. He follows asu. They drove. Nobody.
D
He said it one year for Ohio state.
B
They went to El Paso for Ohio State.
D
Yep.
B
That is a crud bowl for Ohio State. That's a failed season. Why?
D
Must've got a smoking deal.
B
Of course they did. Everything in El Paso is a peso. You don't even spend regular American money. You can barter down to, like nothing. If you have 40 bucks, you're a trillionaire in El Paso. It's a dump.
D
My dad was a big Marty Robbins fan, too.
B
Well, it's a great song. I will say that. But back then, before El Paso turned into El Paso, when Marty was singing about the. You know, the cantina and Rosalia. What was her name?
D
Yeah, that's right.
B
I forgot. But down in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. I wouldn't do that. They get pregnant real easy. I don't like that. You're gonna knock her up and then you're gonna have more. And that one will be a citizen. One.
D
One.
B
And then I gotta separate families. Then we'll auction her off. That's what we do anyway. The world's gone haywire, but yeah, I'm just glad that Savannah. One good thing is I'll find the silver lining. Savannah Guthrie's mother's abduction made it so we forgot about Minnesota already. And that was the end of the world. A week and a half ago, that was. Ah, there'll never be a democracy. It's fascism on display. They're taking over. We have a king.
D
End of the world stuff.
B
And then Thursday, they're like, what's going on down there in Tucson? This is boring Tucson. Exactly. Tucson. Distracted.
D
You captured our hearts.
B
Yeah, it stole us away from the end of democracy nobody cares about anymore. Knock it off. If you were walking around with a sign a couple weeks, I'm gonna. The world's coming over and wait, one what? Savannah Guthrie on the Today show. Oh, I want to know what's going on. We're all slaves to entertainment. And thank God for that. Speaking of slave, we're going to auction off a girl later this morning. Keep that in mind.
A
We had one thing. People are talking about the word. A lot of people were getting a kick back to him saying there was no word available. Oh, Toledo, I guess.
B
Got it.
A
Reset and stuff. So the app will be working. So put your words back in. I got tons of emails. That's the only reason I say that.
B
Yeah, I got nothing to do with that. So I give the word. We don't.
A
We don't but re enter your email.
B
So if technically it don't work. Yeah, I can't help you there. I don't know what.
A
You're going to get bombarded with emails, too.
B
That's why I said I missed the.
D
Six o' clock word again.
B
Fragile.
D
Fragile.
B
I miss the olden days where he just didn't have to deal with all this nonsense. But we do it this way now. The podcast, you know, it's the live taping of our podcast and sometimes it gets a little weird, but we'll just edit it later for the good show. Let's get a wake up song for you people listening live. 585-9-800 and give it to us good and strong. We'll scream it together. It's 98K upd. Wake up.
D
Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
B
No membership fees. I have heard enough of this for upday.
Episode Theme:
This episode centers on a bold Valentine’s Day experiment—auctioning off listener Sarah for a special date—and dives into the media frenzy over Nancy Guthrie’s ring cam footage, unpacking conspiracy-laced skepticism and irreverent banter.
If you missed the episode, know that today’s Holmberg’s Morning Sickness was an intoxicating collision of radio stunts and media skepticism—skewering both the seriousness and silliness of how we approach dating, entertainment, and the news. The “Sarah Valentine’s Auction” may or may not be radio history, but it’s definitely prime HMS mayhem.