Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona
Episode Summary: “It’s National Plum Pudding Day… and Valentine’s Costs Are Up!”
Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Special Note: Brady Bogen is out sick.
Overview
This lively episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness keeps listeners entertained with humor, irreverent commentary, and offbeat news. The crew covers quirky food holidays (like National Plum Pudding Day), digs into stats on how expensive dating and Valentine’s Day have become, riffs on local Arizona oddities, and delivers their trademark banter on everything from fruits to Olympic sports and viral internet trends.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Technical Difficulties and Brady’s Absence (01:11–03:33)
- The team starts amid technical issues—the app is down, but the hosts continue undeterred.
- Brady is out sick (not kidneys, “just a sinus infection”), and this leads to John and Bret filling in on news duties.
- “A lot of people ask, is Brady dead? It's a reasonable question...” — John Holmberg (02:52)
2. National Days and Food Rants (04:15–07:13)
- National Lost Penny Day and National Plum Pudding Day spark jokes about discontinued pennies and questionable desserts.
- John launches into comedic food analogies:
- “A plum is just like… if you could carve out a bruise and eat it.” — John (04:44)
- “Don’t get me started on coconut, because you might as well just lick a barber shop floor.” — John (05:11)
- On Almond Joys: “Almond Joy is of Satan. That is a joke candy.” — John (05:32)
- Continues with irreverent takes on strawberries and coconut, comparing eating strawberries to biting into a homeless man’s nose.
3. Fun Arizona & Random Facts (07:13–09:36)
- There’s a 60-mile stretch of I-19 in Arizona where all the signs are in kilometers—a relic from Carter’s push for the metric system.
- Gun silencers don’t really make guns silent; still as loud as a police siren.
- Physical trivia: You’re about half an inch taller in the morning.
4. Historic Sports Oddity (09:42–10:30)
- The most lopsided college football game ever: Georgia Tech beat Cumberland College 222–0 in 1916.
- “They should [have killed themselves]. Well, you lose by 222 points…” — John (10:18)
5. Valentine’s Day: Costs, Attitudes & Trends (10:30–19:04)
- Average date cost: $189, up 12.5% from last year.
- Americans spent over $2,300 on dates last year. Millennials spend the most—$252 per date.
- 65% of couples try to split costs evenly; nearly half of Gen Z and Millennials say dating is getting unaffordable.
- Gift-giving stats:
- 83% plan to buy a gift for Valentine’s.
- 58% buy gifts for family, 35% for pets.
- “If you need a day to remind you that everybody around you needs attention, then you’re not paying attention.” — John (12:05)
- “No first dates this week; cancel—fake a seizure.” — John (14:19)
Notable Relationship Anecdotes:
- Listeners and hosts joke about strategic breakups to avoid buying gifts.
- “I dumped my girlfriend last week so I don’t have to get anything. I’m gonna try to get back together with her next Monday.” — Listener Gabriel, read by John (17:37)
6. Viral & Bizarre Trends (18:12–20:05)
- Ace Hardware stores go viral on TikTok for selling frozen pies—$19, 20+ flavors.
- “Apparently the moon is getting a little played out for Elon Musk, because he’s shifting focus to Mars.” — John (20:05)
7. Local Perspective & Moon Mania (19:13–21:13)
- 1 in 5 Americans want to live on the moon; the crew riffs about Arizona suburbs (Gilbert/Chandler) being as far as Mars.
- “I’d actually rather go to Mars than drive to Chandler or Gilbert for just like a meal...” — John (20:33)
8. Winter Olympics: Most-Googled Questions (21:13–24:51)
- Why do ice skaters wear gloves? (“Part of the costume and for falls.”)
- Speed skaters wear glasses for wind/ice chip protection.
- Curling is explained as “bocce on ice.”
- “Curling is the only time we’re ever interested—as the Olympics. And I am.” — John (23:42)
- Skeleton racing leads to enthusiastic, humorous commentary on athletes’ physiques:
- “Their butts are jiggling around because they’re going 300 miles an hour… There is something erotic about that.” — John (24:09, 24:13)
9. The “WAP News” Video Segment (25:02–30:01)
- A series of bizarre, viral, and sometimes risqué videos:
- Woman gets stuck in a porta-potty that's lifted by a forklift.
- “We're not lifting that thing down again. We already put it up there.” — Bret (26:06)
- Fetish video: plus-sized woman crushing food by sitting on it.
- “This is a fetish. Some dudes… Like, women sitting on food. Big fat women.” — John (27:02)
- Muscular female bodybuilder photo: humor about body proportions.
- The most bizarre: a Clockwork Orange-style “finishing in your eye” video.
- “Still rather do that than eat coconut? I would, actually.” — John (28:56)
- Skeleton event butts again: “Face down, ass up… And you’re going 80 miles an hour. It’s a challenge to catch her.” — John (29:40)
- Woman gets stuck in a porta-potty that's lifted by a forklift.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- ”A plum is just like… if you could carve out a bruise and eat it.” — John Holmberg (04:44)
- “Don’t get me started on coconut, because you might as well just lick a barber shop floor.” — John (05:11)
- ”I dumped my girlfriend last week so I don't have to get anything. I’m gonna try to get back together with her next Monday.” — Gabriel via John (17:37)
- “If you need a day to remind you that everybody around you needs attention, then you’re not paying attention.” — John (12:05)
- “Still rather do that than eat coconut? I would, actually.” — John on bizarre punishment options (28:56)
- “Face down, ass up… and you’re going 80 miles an hour. It’s a challenge to catch her.” — John on the skeleton event (29:40)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Tech/App issues & Brady news: 01:11–03:33
- National food days & plum pudding riff: 04:15–07:13
- Arizona trivia & random facts: 07:13–09:36
- Historic football blowout: 09:42–10:30
- Valentine’s Day costs, stats, and relationship advice: 10:30–19:04
- Ace Hardware pies & moon talk: 18:12–21:13
- Winter Olympics questions & skeleton event talk: 21:13–24:51
- TikTok, viral fetishes, and “WAP News” videos: 25:02–30:01
Tone & Style
As always, the show’s tone is irreverent, sarcastic, and blunt—a blend of locker room humor, local pride, and unfiltered opinions. The hosts riff off each other with quick banter, playful jabs, and colorful (sometimes borderline) metaphors, making for an engaging and often outrageous listening experience.
Useful For:
- Fans who missed the episode
- Anyone wanting insight into trends in dating, pop culture, and Arizona weirdness
- Listeners who enjoy a dose of uncensored, genuinely funny morning radio