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John Holmberg
It's miles to nowhere. Katie and the Hobbs right there. Thank you quite kindly for our theme song. Once again, we got a Jamie Listow is going to come in here a little bit. He's on Gutfeld's show a lot. There's a weird thing going on in the world of comedy is that and I talked to some people in the know that in the last seven or eight months this I don't know if some sort of like a power over the world of stand up comedy and entertainment and stuff has swung from don't you dare mention your Republican to that being the new thing to do. And Jamie is one of them that I'm curious like because he's on Gutfeld all the time and I don't know that that was something that was getting him in main clubs. Now he's got two shows here at Scottsdale center for the Arts. They added a second show because the first one sold out so fast that this pendulum swing back. How many comics that I've spoken to are like, yeah, I can't say how I really feel. I've been on Rogan and I had to play it middle but like so many of them had to hide how they really felt because they'd get, they'd get destroyed for the longest time. Yeah, it was like being gay. It was like the strangest thing. And now they're kind of like I'm a little, I feel a little safer. Clubs wouldn't touch Jamie Lissow. They're not, I'm not doing that just in case it got too, you know that, that the people who just hated opposing viewpoints would pick it or do say he's on the Fox News. But now it's like a great place to go. Jeff dies on there all the time. He's been in here 100 times. He never hid but he never made it. Like now he's just. It's like being out. And it's not that I agree or disagree with how they. It was just. It was an obvious thing of saying. I'm not. I'm not saying that I remember.
Brady
Brian, you're done.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Callan told me, Goes, hey, I got to protect my gig. I've got him. When he was. Before all the crap hit him, when he was at ABC and had his own show. And he's like, ah, you don't talk about it with the. They'll just fire you. I'm like, for thinking that way. They'll find a way. And I just keep it to yourself. Just kind of nod and go through it. Like, wow, then that's totally different. Now it's interesting. So we'll have him in here a little later this morning. He's very funny. He's divorced dad. They tear him up on that show about never, ever, like, his wife leaving him for all the wrong reasons. It'll be fun. This guy said, hey, John, I heard you talking about going to Australia. I was there in the 90s. I agree the food was bad, but the Washington, great. Yeah. Well, I brought mine from the northern hemisphere. So the. The lady bits were the same there as they are here. Because I actually went with someone. I've never been. I don't know if I ever could go on a. I don't know, va's first vacation overseas. I don't think I've ever done that. I don't know. Then I would have to go with, like, dudes. I don't know if that's something I want to do.
Brady
Go with a bro group.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Then it becomes the brogram. And you're down there doing bro stuff, and then the bro down. They're dragging some chicken. And you got everybody's. You'll have the cheap dude who wants to share rooms and gets mad when you start saying, well, we all get our own room. It's like, oh, great. And he becomes a guy who's kind of. Yeah, I don't like brokers.
Brady
I guess I pretty much did that.
John Holmberg
You didn't go on a puss first vacation?
Brady
No, it was a motorcycle ride. But it was all guys and. But, you know, there wasn't any problem with the rooms.
John Holmberg
What do you mean?
Brady
Everyone get.
John Holmberg
You get your own room.
Brady
Had your own room.
John Holmberg
Did you get your own room?
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And did you pay for that by yourself?
Brady
I did.
John Holmberg
Okay. Because most of the time somebody in that group is poor. And I know the guys you went with were.
Brady
Oh, I was definitely the Poorest person there.
John Holmberg
And you always have. Can't help it. You'll have one poor guy. And most of the time if it's a bunch of rich guys on a puss first vacation, they're married. And it's just now you're on a puss first vacation with a bunch of dudes who are going to get you into a jackpot when you get home. It's not going to. It's no fun. Four single dudes or more on a vacation. It's trouble. It's trouble. So I've never been on that. Usually you go on long vacations, you take your wife, you take because. And imagine that I'm going to Australia without you. Oh, is that worth it?
Brett
Good luck with that.
John Holmberg
Could you imagine if you and I just decided to say, hey, Megan Matthiah, we're gonna head over to the Orient for a little while, just the two of us. Like you two are gay. I'm like, no, no, no. That's immediately the first thoughts. You're gay. If you're going on an all man vacation and you're leaving the ladies but you're gay or you're going over there for the cheap hookers, there's no reason. All by yourself.
Brady
Either way, you're getting divorced. By myself. I'm gonna go to Oktoberfest. With who in Munich? With five other fraternity brothers. At all.
John Holmberg
Oh, that's gay. Unless it's a puss first.
Brady
It's all on the down low.
John Holmberg
Well, it's gonna. Might as well be. It might as well be. He's planning trips in October. Those September. Whatever. Okay, that's. You need to stop that. Just focus on today from all the news you've given us in the last couple of days. I wouldn't be. Well, things might have changed a little bit from you. I'm not, I'm not buying dairy products right now because I don't know if I'm gonna last outlast them. So five dudes to Munich, Germany?
Brady
Yeah. Total.
John Holmberg
Total of five just to be dudes together in Germany.
Brady
Check out Oktoberfest. Yeah.
John Holmberg
And you're going to go over there and they're going to drink like crazy. Probably. Are they all five boozies?
Brady
Yeah, they all drink.
John Holmberg
Yeah. They're all going to pound the beers and then you're going to get. Are they all married?
Brady
Yes. Oh, no one's not.
John Holmberg
You're in trouble.
Brady
He sleeps on his stomach.
John Holmberg
No, no, I'm not saying gay. So you're in trouble. You're in trouble. You're not. You're not coming home to a peaceful house. Not happening.
Megan
So which one of you. Which one of them. Was he just bringing girls back because.
John Holmberg
They know girls don't travel in singles? So you. When he gets laid, that means you guys played wing. This is. Two divorces out of the five are coming out of this. Are you with me?
Brady
This was Ronnie's present. She gave me this presentation.
John Holmberg
Ronnie doesn't want you around the house. I'm not saying you. You'll be fine. You're not doing anything. You're good. But one single guy. Four married dudes at Oktoberfest in Germany. Two divorces are coming out of that, and it's because you brought a single guy. That's happening. Unless he's in a wheelchair or something. No, you're. It's big ones, too. Dirty, messy, sloppy ones. Because it's gonna. Bad things are gonna happen. This is a bad idea. Don't invite the single guy. Goes for dudes who just go to complain about their wives over in a bra house. That's fine. You can't bring the single guy. Can't be done. Terrible idea. Because he's gonna try to get laid the whole time, as he should, right? And one of these married dudes is gonna be like, if she's got a friend. Well, you know, I can't. It's not. Dude.
Megan
Thousands of miles away.
Brady
They would never do that.
John Holmberg
All right. Just saying. You brought. You're bringing a single guy. You might as well just put. It's Russian roulette. One bullet in the chamber. Yeah, immediately. And she's. And Bronnie will text.
Megan
I trust you.
John Holmberg
Of course I trust you. I'm not saying you're the one that's going to have it happen, but you're going to be getting phone calls from wives.
Megan
Tell the truth to me, Brady, God damn it.
John Holmberg
I don't know who you're going with, but he's got a dumb nickname.
Megan
Did Bungalow have sex with that girl?
Brady
Settle down, frawla.
Megan
I wasn't there. I. I don't know.
John Holmberg
But the single guy's gonna be pounding ass like crazy, or at least trying to. And you're gonna be in some awkward spots you don't see. You guys see the forest through the trees on this one? Stay away from him. And you're. Oh. Oh. Unless it's Larry. Is Larry the single guy?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
Okay, then you're screwed, man.
Megan
You're screwed.
John Holmberg
Terr. Brett. You, me, my buddy Mark.
Brett
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And this swinging dick I know. That doesn't have a wife right now. We all want to head down to Mexico, play at the beach. You coming with? Probably. No, I'm gonna have to stay home for that one.
Megan
Where is he going?
John Holmberg
Oh, he just wants to be around the dudes.
Megan
What's he gonna do the whole time?
John Holmberg
I think we all know the answer to that. Women aren't dumb. They know that chicks don't travel in singles down there. Oh, you guys, it's gonna be a. It's gonna be a big secret vacation. A lot of lion. That flight back is going to be everybody going, all right, here's the story. And that's. And everybody's got to be on the same page. My wife's gonna call you. Oh, well, he's gonna cave.
Brett
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Brady
We've been doing it for years.
John Holmberg
Who has? Yeah, and it's never worked out. Hopefully that guy gets married or something. But you can't leave your wives at home and go troll the world with a single man.
Brett
So Ronnie's okay with the bro down in Germany without her?
Brady
Oh, yeah.
Brett
Wow.
Brady
I mean, she. She wants to check it out one.
John Holmberg
Day, but she's on her own. She's not good. She'll be fine. She's not one that has to worry. This is bad. This is not good. Now Ronnie's not worried about it.
Brett
Buddy.
John Holmberg
You're getting it up over in German. I think it's.
Brady
She knows the single guy.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Is he a loser?
Brady
No. Good dude.
John Holmberg
Is he?
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Swing a lot of ass real nice. Does he?
Brady
He does all right.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brady
For 60 year old man.
Brett
Game over.
John Holmberg
But he's got money.
Brady
Yeah, he's fine.
John Holmberg
Yeah, game over.
Brett
Better call Kent. Make sure you have all your affairs straight.
John Holmberg
In fact, you know what? Start putting sticky notes on stuff around the house, because the amount of lying you're gonna have to do to cover up for Bungalow and Club Foot and Ching Ching Charlie. And I don't know who else you're bringing on this trip from the fraternity.
Brett
But it's Mikey the Nose and Brat Brothers all.
John Holmberg
Are they all fraternity brothers?
Brady
Yes.
John Holmberg
Oh, God. It's going to be reliving the youth. This is terrifying. I hate this trip already. It's like when my friend told me. He goes, hey, four couples a week on a boat. Private chef. I'm like, no way. Why girls can't get along for a week trapped on a boat together? There'll be a fight the first day. Did you know everybody knows each other? Like, okay, the people that replaced us fought the first day. Another couple you never Liked me.
Megan
And I knew it.
John Holmberg
Two glasses of wine. Two glasses of wine. Cause you just know. Human experience will teach you. Four couples and one of the girls is new and somebody's gonna say something.
Brett
Trapped on a boat.
John Holmberg
Trapped for 10 days. And then you gotta hide in your room. And like if you leave and that other person's out there, suddenly you're responsible for doing stuff with them. No downtime. Oh. So I told him, absolutely not. Come on. You're crazy. We all get along. I'm like, yeah, now there's a reason why we don't live together for 10 days at a time. Trapped in the ocean. First day called me was a disaster. Like really? Yeah. First day. This, this one fought with that one and man, you were right. My God, they can't. Women can't be drinking on a boat for 10 days and live together.
Brady
It's crazy.
John Holmberg
It's not like friends. It's five days your guys. That's different. In five days time, you'll. You'll do. You will undo 135 years of marriage in combination two. It'll be two or three of them that are not coming home to households that are happy. No way.
Brady
Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brady
I'm sorry, but I love Helga.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's not. Nobody's gonna. Nobody's gonna love anything. There's gonna be trouble. Just questions. Nobody. Maybe all the dudes might not do anything. Yeah, and one of the dudes gonna take a fat German grenade for his 60 year old single friend and the next thing you know she's gonna be in his room too long. Wife's gonna call.
Megan
What's the time difference?
John Holmberg
Oh, it's like 10:00. What are you guys doing in the back? You hear.
Megan
Who'S in the room with you?
John Holmberg
The maid.
Megan
Oh, at 10 at night?
Brady
We wanted some schnitzel.
John Holmberg
We just ordered in the Uber. Uber eats. It's great over here.
Brett
We're going to tour the schnapps factory right now.
Megan
Are you drunk?
John Holmberg
Who's that man?
Megan
Where's your single friend?
John Holmberg
This was some girl he met last.
Megan
Oh, I knew this trip. Okay, we'll talk when you come home.
John Holmberg
That's gonna happen to three of the five guys. We'll talk when you come home. You should have shirts printed up. We'll talk when. We will talk when I get home. Can't have that trip. It isn't about trust. It's about reality. None of the guys might do anything Wrong. Everybody might be angels. It's not coming home with that perception. The more angelic you are, the less they'll believe you. You're trouble. Have fun watching your friends lives disintegrate in Germany. Oh, good luck, Brady.
Brady
It's me in the shirt.
John Holmberg
You'll wear the shirt because you're just gonna go for, you know, the delicious German water and a sip of beer. What are they? Snossages? Is that what those are called? German food. You're gonna eat so much bratwurst, you might as well eat a male wang. I bet you could fool Brady into it. Just pile up a bunch of brats and then a wang at the end.
Megan
This one won't come off of the wall.
Brett
Be like Nick and Bachelor Party.
Brady
What's the glory?
John Holmberg
Worst. Yeah, you're going to come back with heart disease and everybody else is going to come back divorced. All the other ladies are. You know why? They're staying at home. They're going to go out on a little trip together too. Or at least a zoom call where they start talking about like, you know, what do you think a fair payment will be monthly when he comes back? What do you think that is? He makes this much here? What do you think a fair payment is? I'll ask for that.
Megan
You better get that house, girl.
John Holmberg
Oh, I'm getting the house, Brady. Good luck. This guy says, good morning, John. Oh, oh, that's a different one. Nevermind. Sorry, I was reading that this one. Oh, here it is. Says I'm emailing because Brady wasn't listening to his doctor and I'm worried about him. Elevated protein in one's urine doesn't mean your kidney is shedding or whatever crazy BS he was trying to spout. Kidneys act as filtration systems for your body. Elevated proteins usually correlate with diabetes or decreased GFR score, which indicates lower kidney function and is the primary indicator for renal disease. Brady reduces the protein like barbecue in his diet. It could reduce the protein levels in his urine but won't change the function of your kidneys. Generally speaking, you can't reverse your damage. See the chart I've included below. This is coming from a true one diabetic that had kidney education for roughly 30 years. Because of all the problems I've had. Going to fact checker for science news. I volunteer as many of the stories and subsequent discussions have become ludicrous. Ludicrous. Signed Morgan Devlin. More people are emailing me like crazy. Worried about you and your kidney knowledge and what's going on. And you did your blood yesterday and what's the word?
Brady
You just get your blood, let you say 10 minutes.
John Holmberg
Oh, they can get results. You put some heat on it. Well, you throw it on there from today.
Brady
I don't hear from the doctor today.
John Holmberg
Well, I hope you hear something where we can throw bells and whistles, because I'm tired of reading about you in my emails going, this is what I had happen. And kidneys falling out is not. I don't know what's going on with Freddie, but people are. We're concerned.
Brady
We're trying to figure that out, too.
John Holmberg
We're concerned at your lack of concern. We feel like you're hiding something from us. And now you want to go off to Germany with a bunch of frat brothers. This is. Ludacris is right. Making plans for October. You sit down and rest and wait for your blood test. No future vacation plans for you. Although at this point, it would be the best thing that could happen to him is if his kidneys had a little hiccup here and he couldn't go to Germany to that divorce party that his friends are throwing.
Brady
Might happen.
John Holmberg
You might as well just call it the before she gets half trip, because this is. You're in trouble. This one says, ask Brady. This John. How did he get his wife to give him a hall pass? Nobody else is allowing this trip. How did Ronnie allow the hall pass?
Brady
She knew most of the guys involved, and they said they wanted to do this for. To celebrate the 60th.
John Holmberg
All your 60th birthdays. Yeah.
Brady
It was pretty easy.
John Holmberg
Irani's not worried that you're gonna come home with, like, tons of new beer cans to store somewhere she hates. You're not allowed to bring any beer cans home at all?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
If you find, like.
Brady
Oh, no, we haven't talked about that.
John Holmberg
Hootie pool or whatever you call them all the time. Whatever you got. And it's like a German can, and it's made of, like, tin. I don't know what they make that gets excited. I don't know. It's a dumb hobby. Steel can of hoodie pool. And you come home with that. She's not going to be upset.
Brady
No. Because that's a Cincinnati beer.
John Holmberg
I don't care. They found a German one and that you would buy it then. That's what I'm saying.
Brady
Heininger.
John Holmberg
You're already looking. Oh, boy. No, you can't. Are you not allowed to bring home any cans? What if you find new cans?
Brady
If I found a really old one there.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Maybe, yeah. See if you discuss this, that's your divorce. She knows you're not gonna go boning ladies. The German ladies aren't after an Andy Reid clone. You'll be fine. And besides your mouth will be full most of the time. You're over with Germany gets strudel and sausages and. But your friend's mouth will be full too of Ava Braun puss. And it's going to be constant. Are you guys going to do the middle of the. The trip misery of Auschwitz and stuff. It's inevitable in Germany that you take that one day to just go be depressed. It has to be right?
Brady
Yeah, I would think nothing's been planned.
John Holmberg
Well, you're there.
Brady
That's one of the thoughts.
John Holmberg
Well isn't it like anti humanitarian to skip Auschwitz when you're in Germany? Yeah, we didn't.
Brady
I've been twice and I haven't.
John Holmberg
You haven't gone to that?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
How do you dodge it?
Brady
Well isn't that Frank's house there two times. Yeah. Or Helen Keller motorcycle trip. So yeah. So you were sold the most of the day. You weren't really the stops that we were in or in the Alps area. So I don't think.
John Holmberg
They didn't keep the Jews up there. They kept the von Trapp family. So you guys were just retracing the.
Brady
Bonfire in Austria, the walk.
John Holmberg
We did. But Austria and Germany like if you're in Germany like Germany, it'd be a.
Brady
Couple hours trip maybe not necessarily.
Brett
It's in Poland.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
I don't know.
John Holmberg
Well, yeah. Crack out. And Paul. Yeah. So you got a couple of. You could. You're getting over to some of the WW2 stuff. You have to. But you it's going to Japan and not checking out Hiroshima. You gotta. So you'll have drink fest, doodle plow some broads. You guys set your life a couple.
Brady
Of castles, you know.
John Holmberg
Yeah. My guess is most of the pictures are going to have tourist walks. You'll be at castles or you'll be at maybe Nuremberg. Yeah. You'll be in a couple of cool places. Send those home to the ladies. But what you're not sending home.
Brady
We might check that out is just enough.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh yeah. No you have to. It's a. It's that weird thing that happens to tourists when they go to places. We're like oh we should probably see that while we're here. And then you go do. When I was in Australia I went over to an aborigine village and sat through an hour long presentation of how horribly those people were treated. And then we threw boomerangs in their yard. It was weird. All right, everybody sit down. And here's the history of the Aborigine. Strong, powerful people living on that continent for a long time. And then these prisoners showed up from England and just beat them back into every bad thing that could happen. They did. Native Americans, you got nothing on the Aborigines. They took a page out of that and doubled it. And then at the end they're like, anybody have any questions? How do you guys sleep at night? We don't. Not very well. All right, let's go into the back and we'll do didgeridoos and throw boomerangs at targets. And we did for like an hour. And it kind of erased all of it by the end. You're just having the time of your life. Took a huge, like, gondola ride from the top of a mountain, which was beautiful, over this strange forest to the ocean to the Aboriginal Historical Museum. Oh, gorgeous. The whole ride in, like, it's the most beautiful place on the planet. And there's that little building we're going to go to. I wonder what they're going to teach us. And we just thought it'd be like, here's what they eat and here's what happened. We were up at their village and it was. The cab drivers weren't wrong. Hey, you're up on that Ebo village. Hold your breath like, why ain't no wash. It's a disgusting giggle of people, like, oh, all right. And I get up there, I'm like, what a terrible racist. Then you get out of the cab and you're like, oh, Jesus Christ. But he's not a liar. They smell horrible up here. Then you go and you get a scone and then you hop on your gondola and you go for like a five mile ride from the top of this mountain over a rainforest all the way down to the ocean. Gorgeous. And then you're taught on how this used to be Aboriginal land. And they pushed them back into the riverbeds and opened the dams. What? Yeah, that was the plan. They would send them to flood plains without them knowing because they dammed up a river and said all of this fertile land is yours. And the Aborigines would be like, wow, this is the best thing whitey's ever done to us. Thank you. And they'd set up shop and they're like, all right, flood them. When they had their houses built, everything was ready. We got our new village. I Think we're ready to go. They opened the dams and flooded the floodplains. Tried to kill him that way.
Brady
Wow.
Brett
Jesus.
John Holmberg
And then they're like, he wants to buy a boomerang. You like to learn how they hunt? Good Lord, no. There's a few of them dressed up in, like, cloth diapers. And, like, they got stuff on their skin and some weird piercings. Put that zinc on, and they just stand there. And now they've got Australian accents, too. You throw in that wrong mite, and you're standing there with the scream. Like, how come you guys don't throw these at the people, like the guides? I can't. Don't do that. Everything's fine. Like, don't you want to kill all the white people that are here right now? Throw the boomerang, mate. And then the dude would chuck. It had to be 300 yards. What? And there's, like, a fake deer out in the middle of a field. Head comes off. It's unreal how this dude could chuck a boomerang. And I threw it, and I could make it come back, but I couldn't hit anything. Those boomerangs were designed to clunk stuff in the head and kill it or at least incapacitate it. And then these beasts would go run after it and strangle it to death with their bare hands. And whitey had the nerve to build a thing going, remember how great you used to be? Here's a video of what you used to be versus what you are now. Now go teach white people how to use weapons. And they did. And Americans, well, this is fun. They had a one that was, like, a straw man. And you could chuck your boomerang at that. And I noticed he was probably within, like, a hundred feet. He was the closest one. But when these aborigines got hold of that boomerang.
Brady
Wizards.
John Holmberg
And they could do it with, like, bones. They use, like, bones of animals. Just chuck one of those and start flipping back. Kills with boom. Head blows up. It's like chucking rocks. They were amazing.
Brady
Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?
John Holmberg
98 kpd. Holmberg's morning sickness. But you know what I didn't do? Go to that with, like, six or seven male friends. Bony Aborigines come back with lies. Are you worried about one of your friends?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
Causing trouble, Stirring it up? No. You should be. Are they all like you? None of them are threats to society in any sort of way?
Brady
Yeah, none of them are threats.
John Holmberg
Not saying murder. You know what I'm Talking about no money. Yep. Overseas. It's a bad combination.
Brett
This guy tried the couples thing too. Tried that at Lake Powell. Five couples on a houseboat for a week. I brought my own boat and first night I stayed on my own boat.
John Holmberg
And you think about leaving because it's going to be a fight. Dudes don't fight on trips together. But when you get home, there's going to be a problem.
Brett
Ronnie sending Brady away on the trip to start scouting for when the big C happens, right?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Well, she's got to start planning for the future as well. I mean, for sure.
Brady
Make a wish, right?
John Holmberg
Yeah. You get to make a wish to not be with your family for five days in Germany and to watch your other friends Entire Fortunes of 60 year old men start thinking about having to stay at work until they're 85 because this trip is a bad idea. Somebody needs to bring a wife and ruin this to keep an eye on everybody because otherwise something bad's gonna happen. This is a bad plan. Maybe for a weekend. Couple dudes up there in Flagstaff golfing hill worries.
Brady
Yeah. It's a little bit longer than a.
John Holmberg
Weekend and it's also in Germany with a single dude. Oh, no. It's a bachelor party. It's trouble. Brett, you and I can't even do that. No, you and I are going out for three days together with a recently single, wealthy friend.
Brady
I mean, he's not married.
Brett
Not happening.
Brady
He's in a relationship, but he's not married.
Brett
Doesn't matter.
John Holmberg
Yeah, what he said. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's bad fraternity. Well, good luck said. How funny is it going to be when one of these guys gets busted with some weed or cocaine that he's got? Brady didn't know about these guys on the front page of the papers. Political prisoners having to explain what they were doing over there and then why they don't follow laws. Would Ron even fight to get Brady back? That's a good question. At that point, if you became a political prisoner because you one dude had muled cocaine, you didn't know any of them. Are any of them dabble in the German powder? No mushrooms. Are they older dudes are big on that now. I don't know any of them. Listen to Joe Rogan.
Brady
Don't know.
John Holmberg
All right, you better start getting to know these guys because somebody's going to have coke in his ass and you're going to get in trouble for it.
Brady
I'll say no muling.
John Holmberg
Just ask simple questions. And hey, did you guys hear Joe Rogan this morning? Who's Joe Rogan? That guy's good. You're safe. He's not going to have any ayahuasca with him. The other ones, you just get to know these dudes, you're trusting they're all going to be the same as they were in college. And that's even worse.
Brett
It's going to be Brady Griner over there. He's going to be right in prison.
Megan
Somebody put this in my bed.
Brady
It's all in my bed.
Megan
I don't even know what Hui Huska is. It's not mine.
Brady
Burger meister.
John Holmberg
Of course it's not yours. We looked you up on the Internet. You work with Sir Jordan? Yep.
Brady
Do you work with Homebank?
John Holmberg
Good luck. Oh, you should call Brittney Griner and get some tips. Or go over there dressed as Andy Reid, try to fool some folks into some free food. Because I think maybe that would.
Brett
That's brilliant.
John Holmberg
That's not a bad idea. If you troll around in Kansas City Chiefs gear the whole time.
Brady
I'll bring the hat.
John Holmberg
Yeah, bring the hat. Just walk around with the glasses and the hat on him. The auntie Greece and then you.
Brady
Can you believe it? He's wearing the hat.
Megan
Yeah, yeah, that's me. I'm Andy Reid. I'm on super bowl champions.
John Holmberg
Oh, we saw you in Berlin last year. It's a fantastic. Big fat man.
Megan
Yeah, that's me. How about some free brats for the.
John Holmberg
Trouble your heart's gonna stop. And everybody else getting. Ah. I worry so much. This. This lack of questioning. Things just. Well, it's every day, though. I know when's eventually gonna get him killed.
Brett
Bunch of 60 year old dudes broing.
John Holmberg
It up like they were in college and they're. That's nervous and they're all remembering their college days. Were any of the guys in the fraternity poon hounds that you're going with? Yes. Yep. Yep. And to relive that, you know what.
Brady
You thought about one guy going, yeah, Scummy Dick Douglas it is? Yes.
John Holmberg
Scummy Dick Douglas is going. That's his nickname. Do you think Scummy Dick's not going to try to get in the time machine and relive some? You guys make me feel like I'm young again. How many. What are we using here? Marks? Does it cost for a prostitute? €200. I'll blow your friend, scummy dick. €200. I think that's like, all right.
Megan
It's just like being back in Ohio. Scummy Dick Douglas got a blow job from a guy last night for money.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You bringing scummy Dick Douglas? You did not think about this. You don't bring a man scummy dick. Who'd the five of us go sans wives? Why? Why don't you bring your wives? Why would we do that? Why don't you bring your wives Sky's trip? I know.
Brett
Leave the old ball and chain at home.
John Holmberg
You're too pure. You're not thinking like the other scummy dicks involved in your party.
Brady
Look, if things start going south, I'm.
John Holmberg
Out of there, right? You're gonna be the one. You're gonna be the one that gets in trouble. Oh, God. All right, so starting. That's in September. So we got cancer all summer long. We got a plan for that. And then you're not gonna come back from Germany for a year. And then somebody's wife is gonna kill all of you. Meeting you at the airport, it's gonna be even worse.
Brett
It's gonna be great radio, though.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, it's gonna be amazing radio. When scummy dick's asking Brady, like, do you have any doctors that can get rid of bumps? I can't tell her, and I've got that. Oh, that whore. Why didn't you stop me, Brady? Why did you?
Megan
You were, like, big on wanting to pay her.
John Holmberg
Idiot. Why didn't we bring our wives? Where were you, Brady? Where were you?
Megan
I thought it be a fun boy trip.
John Holmberg
This is bad.
Brett
Can you run to Mexico real quick, pick me up some penicillin?
John Holmberg
You're the closest one to Mexico. Bumps. I live in South Carolina now. But you got to get over to Mexico and get me this stuff, all right?
Brady
Before we get home.
Megan
God dang it.
John Holmberg
Brady's down there getting stem cells and all sorts of stuff for scummy dick. She can't know, man. She was already all over my ass for doing this trip in the first place. Wasn't for you going. We weren't allowed. You might be the. That might be the only reason you're invited. Brittany's fun wives trust him.
Brady
Yeah, there's something about this.
Megan
How come we all can't go?
John Holmberg
Just a guy's trip in Germany, you know, it's what six year olds do. We're just gonna have some wine. You saw a hangover?
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
The dentist had to lie and say they went on a wine trip. Dudes can't do trips like this. Anyway, good luck. Why are we the logical ones?
Brady
Time. Planning time.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you ought to surprise the wives. You know what we decided to do? Get you guys over there, too. Sounds awful in theory. Dragging them along. But it's gonna save most of those dudes half of their wealth.
Brett
It is the hangover. They're gonna be saying they're on wine tours.
John Holmberg
They're gonna be in the red light this whole time. Yep. The whole time.
Megan
We went over to Auschwitz today. It was really a.
Brady
It's a nice brothel over there.
Megan
Unbelievable sights. And we're all real down right now.
John Holmberg
Brady.
Megan
She's got two buttholes.
John Holmberg
I don't know.
Megan
He's kidding.
John Holmberg
Look at the rosebuds. Look at. Nice Haskell Rosebud. Asshole. That's the hole. Out.
Brady
I ran into my friend till.
Megan
This is pretty great. Anyway, we're mourning the Holocaust and we're gonna go grab some schnauzer beaters.
John Holmberg
Or what are they called?
Megan
Schnauzer beaters.
John Holmberg
Some terrible German food. All right, well, you were warned. You'll be fine. But tell your friends I hope that they're willing to. I hope they all have prenups.
Brady
These tests for my five days.
John Holmberg
They're not gonna.
Brett
What's the fanduel on? At least one divorce.
John Holmberg
100%. It doesn't even pay even money. A fanduel wouldn't even take the bet. Like, of course there's gonna be at least one two. Now we're starting to talk a couple. Like, plus 200. But it's still pretty low odds. Three is not a lot. A one murder. One murder is as possible as one divorce. Scummy Dick Douglas on a dude's trip overseas. What are you doing? Ugh. Anyway. Brett. Logical. Brett, tell me what's on the board of Musical Treats. My head. I already took that hit from bus yesterday, and now I spend all morning shaking my head. I got a double concussion.
Brett
Wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop now with two locations. The brand new location right there on power Road and McDowell. Make sure you cruise on over there. Check out the brand new store. It is the. The soft opening right now. The big grand opening going on February 22nd, where they're gonna have tons of stuff going on, including giving away a brand new bike. So check out Action Ride Shop at both locations. Gilbert Road and Southern and Power and McDowell. Or just go check them out online@action rideshop.com. all right. We got trapped in there. Hate Breed. Van Halen, Pantera Parkway Drive for our Australian discussion. Static X. Van Halen. Kill Switch. Van Halen. Somebody get me a doctor for Brady. And only one to play Ramstein's.
John Holmberg
Yeah. There's only one coming up, and one of your one. And you're going to be the jackass that goes. All right, check it out, because they're not going to know this song. You're going to introduce them to Rammstein, and they're going to be singing that the whole time. Having the time of your lives, until one of the dudes drags three fat Brunhildas back to the hotel. Come on, guys, back me up. Is Scummy Dick the single one?
Brady
Carry ten steins, we're bombed.
John Holmberg
Is Scummy Dick the single one?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brett
He will be.
John Holmberg
He will be when it's. He will be this time next year. Yeah. There's no question with the song Rom Stein's Pussy off of Brady's News. It's about cats. So a big cat song. Big favorite among the Germans this day. Love, feline. Love it in a huge way. All right, this is your trip, Brady. Enjoy it. My stomach hurts. It's 98 KUPD. It's out of control now.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 02-13-25 - Brady Announces He's Going On A Guys Trip w/His College Buddies To Oktoberfest In Germany And We Think It's A Bad Idea Cause Something Bad's Gonna Happen
Release Date: February 13, 2025
The episode kicks off with John Holmberg discussing recent shifts in the stand-up comedy scene, particularly focusing on comedian Jamie Listow. Holmberg notes that there's been a noticeable swing in the acceptable topics within comedy over the past several months.
John Holmberg [00:39]: "There's a weird thing going on in the world of comedy is that [...] it used to be 'don't you dare mention your Republican,' now it's kinda swinging back."
Holmberg observes that Jamie Listow, who frequently appears on Gutfeld's Show, has experienced success with increased showings at the Scottsdale Center for the Arts, indicating a resurgence in his popularity. This change is contrasted with other comedians who previously had to moderate their political expressions to avoid backlash.
The central topic of the episode is Brady Bogen's announcement of his upcoming trip to Oktoberfest in Germany with his college buddies. This news sparks concern and humorous speculation among the hosts.
John Holmberg [02:28]: "He's going on a guys trip to Oktoberfest in Germany and we think it's a bad idea because something bad's gonna happen."
The discussion quickly turns into a lively debate about the potential pitfalls of Brady's trip. John Holmberg expresses skepticism, predicting various mishaps that could arise from the all-male excursion.
John Holmberg [05:07]: "You're in trouble. You're not coming home to a peaceful house. Not happening."
Brady Bogen counters these predictions by sharing his past experiences with male-only trips, such as a motorcycle ride that didn’t encounter any issues.
Brady [04:05]: "I pretty much did that."
Despite Brady’s reassurances, Holmberg remains unconvinced, outlining scenarios where the trip could lead to marital strife and other complications.
John Holmberg [06:08]: "Total of five just to be dudes together in Germany."
Midway through the episode, John Holmberg addresses a listener email from Morgan Devlin, expressing worries about Brady’s kidney health. This segment shifts the conversation from the trip to more serious health matters.
John Holmberg [15:08]: "More people are emailing me like crazy. Worried about you and your kidney knowledge and what's going on."
Brady responds nonchalantly, indicating that he hasn't heard back from his doctor yet, which raises further concerns among the hosts about his well-being.
Brady [16:20]: "You just get your blood, let you say 10 minutes."
Returning to the topic of the Oktoberfest trip, Holmberg and the other hosts continue to outline the possible negative outcomes. They humorously exaggerate scenarios like Brady returning with divorce papers or getting into legal trouble abroad.
John Holmberg [09:33]: "Nobody else is allowing this trip. How did Ronnie allow the hall pass?"
The conversation includes a mix of jokes and genuine concern, painting a picture of the trip as a recipe for disaster. The hosts also reminisce about past trips and the inherent challenges of group travel, especially among married men.
Towards the end of the discussion, Holmberg shares anecdotes from his own trips to Australia, highlighting the cultural and historical lessons learned, albeit with a humorous twist.
John Holmberg [21:20]: "We just thought it'd be like, here's what they eat and here's what happened."
These stories serve to further illustrate the potential unexpected challenges of international travel, albeit in a lighter, more storytelling manner.
As the episode wraps up, Holmberg reiterates his concerns about Brady’s trip, emphasizing the likelihood of unforeseen issues and urging caution.
John Holmberg [32:53]: "You're too pure. You're not thinking like the other scummy dicks involved in your party."
The hosts conclude with a blend of humor and final warnings, ensuring that the message—while delivered in jest—is clear: Brady's Oktoberfest trip is fraught with potential problems.
John Holmberg [33:13]: "They're gonna be in the red light this whole time."
John Holmberg [00:39]: "There's a weird thing going on in the world of comedy is that [...] it used to be 'don't you dare mention your Republican,' now it’s kinda swinging back."
John Holmberg [02:28]: "He's going on a guys trip to Oktoberfest in Germany and we think it's a bad idea because something bad's gonna happen."
John Holmberg [05:07]: "You're in trouble. You're not coming home to a peaceful house. Not happening."
John Holmberg [15:08]: "More people are emailing me like crazy. Worried about you and your kidney knowledge and what's going on."
John Holmberg [32:53]: "You're too pure. You're not thinking like the other scummy dicks involved in your party."
In this engaging episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, the hosts navigate through a mix of lighthearted banter and genuine concern over Brady Bogen's planned Oktoberfest trip. While the conversation is infused with humor and camaraderie, the underlying message serves as a cautionary tale about the complexities and potential pitfalls of male-only vacations, especially those involving significant life changes like divorce or health issues. Additionally, the episode touches upon broader themes within the comedy industry and shares personal travel anecdotes, enriching the overall discussion.
For listeners who haven't tuned in, this episode offers a blend of humor, insightful commentary, and relatable experiences, all wrapped up in the dynamic interactions that make Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show both entertaining and thought-provoking.