02-13-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 02-13-25 | Release Date: February 13, 2025

Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: Jamie Lissow
Duration: Full Show

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1. War Room Insights and Bird Flu Impact [00:39 - 09:15]

John Holmberg kickstarts the show by sharing his recent experience attending the War Room at KTAR. He reveals surprising insights about the ongoing bird flu situation affecting Arizona's egg prices. According to John, the lack of vaccination for chickens against bird flu has led to a significant reduction in chicken populations, causing egg prices to skyrocket.

John (04:00): "I didn't know that the bird flu wasn't being addressed with vaccinations. It's why egg prices are through the moon."

The discussion delves into the commercial and health implications, with John humorously lamenting his love for eggs despite their inflated prices.

2. On-Air Impressions and Katie Hobbs Interaction [09:15 - 28:37]

John takes a humorous turn by impersonating Katie Hobbs, the Governor of Arizona. His impersonation leads to an unexpected live interaction where "Katie" confronts Brett Vesely about a mockery she endured on another radio show.

Katie Hobbs (John Impersonation) [07:59]: "I like to be taken seriously. Governor, can we have in the house? I need you."

The skit escalates with playful banter about personal relationships and mock confrontations, showcasing the show's signature blend of humor and satire.

3. The Great Dog Incident [28:37 - 35:00]

A personal anecdote ensues as John recounts being unexpectedly assaulted by his dog, Bus, while interacting at home.

John (25:04): "I've never been knocked out by my dog before yesterday, and Bus was unaffected."

This segment evolves into a comedic discussion about dog behavior, safety measures, and the challenges of living with energetic pets. The co-hosts share their own stories and offer light-hearted advice on managing pet antics.

4. O.J. Simpson Estate Auction Revelations [35:00 - 44:00]

The conversation shifts to the controversial topic of the O.J. Simpson estate auction, scheduled between March 12 and March 29. John details the eclectic mix of memorabilia up for bid, including personal items, autographed merchandise, and a particularly contentious "porn stash" from Simpson's prison days.

John (30:10): "There’s going to be everything from a missing glove to a pieced-together pelvis."

The hosts debate the ethics and public interest surrounding the auction, pondering the implications of owning such notorious artifacts.

5. Vacation Plans to Germany and Relationship Dynamics [44:00 - 74:00]

A major portion of the episode revolves around Brady Bogen announcing a planned trip to Germany for Oktoberfest with four of his fraternity buddies and a single friend named "Scummy Dick Douglas." The co-hosts express concern over the potential strains this solo male attendee could place on their marriages.

John (48:04): "Whenever you leave your wife and go troll the world with a single man, something bad's gonna happen."

The discussion highlights fears of infidelity, cultural mishaps, and the challenges of maintaining trust within relationships when undertaking such trips. The segment is rich with humor, hypothetical scenarios, and light-hearted ribbing among friends.

6. Comedy and Radio Dynamics with Jamie Lissow [74:00 - 86:00]

Jamie Lissow, a guest comedian known for his appearances on Gutfeld, joins the show. The interaction delves into the evolving landscape of comedy, particularly how political affiliations influence stand-up performances and radio appearances.

Jamie Lissow (82:46): "I was the worst, worst radio employee, I think, of all time."

John and Jamie discuss the pressures comedians face in mainstream media, the balance between personal beliefs and professional opportunities, and the shifting acceptance of diverse political viewpoints within the entertainment industry.

7. Sports Banter and Super Bowl Talk [86:00 - 117:00]

The hosts transition to sports, focusing on the Super Bowl and its halftime show. John expresses disappointment with current halftime performances, longing for a return to more traditional and engaging entertainment.

John (94:14): "The halftime show was a clown. It was just so uninspiring compared to what it used to be."

They also touch upon player performances, coaching decisions, and team dynamics, offering critiques and humorous takes on recent NFL developments.

8. Valentine's Day Specials and Final Remarks [117:00 - End]

As Valentine's Day approaches, the show features a playful segment on romantic gift ideas, blending genuine recommendations with sharp-witted critiques.

John (89:19): "Watches represent the gift of time. But what if the watch stops? Your marriage is over."

The episode concludes with promotional segments for local businesses, acknowledgments of guest appearances, and cheerful banter among the hosts.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [04:00]: "I didn't know that the bird flu wasn't being addressed with vaccinations. It's why egg prices are through the moon."

• Katie Hobbs (John Impersonation) [07:59]: "I like to be taken seriously. Governor, can we have in the house? I need you."

• John Holmberg [75:00]: "Do you think he's gonna ruin it? Yeah, one of the crew's gonna bring someone back and it'll be chaos."

• Jamie Lissow [125:05]: "It's all about climbing over obstacles rather than taking the easy route."

Key Takeaways:

• The episode offers a blend of local news insights, personal stories, comedic sketches, and cultural commentary, all delivered with humor and candidness.
• Discussions on animal health policies spotlight real-world issues affecting everyday life, while humorous impersonations and character interactions provide entertainment.
• Personal anecdotes, like the incident with John's dog and the planned Oktoberfest trip, add relatability and depth to the show's dialogues.
• The inclusion of guest comedian Jamie Lissow enriches the conversation with perspectives on the intersection of comedy, politics, and media.

Tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10 AM for more engaging discussions and entertaining banter. Visit www.98kupd.com or use the 98KUPD app to listen live.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John]

Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It's Thursday already. It's 5:45. My name's John. Hi. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. Off we go. Glorious Thursday morning. And I off the heels of me. I had to do the war room yesterday. I didn't have to. They asked me to do the war room yesterday at ktar. And I'll tell you this, everyone down there secretly loves everything that goes on on this show. When it comes to them, they all bring up something like Ladonna Harvey impression that's going around that they, it's, oh, they've heard that. Well, a couple of them have. Not all of them have. But now it's become the secret. It's very, it's fun to go over there. They. And I'll tell you this, I was on there yesterday and no offense to Brady, but it is weird to be in a newsroom that has statistics and facts and like, breakdowns and, and they're still wrong. All right. Damn. There's no reason to be bitter. I've seen both sides of this rainbow. One has a pot of gold and the other one has Brady going, what? There's gold? It's, it was, it's amazing. Like, they do some work and then, you know, I learned a ton of stuff yesterday in that thing. Just goofing around. I knew the bird flu was going on. I knew that's why egg prices are through the moon and everybody's whining about egg prices. I'd pay $1,000 for a dozen of eggs. I man, I like eggs so much that IHOP should have a valet. They should have like, it should be the steak 44 of restaurants. I love eggs. All kinds, over easy, soft boiled charcoal. I like raw. I'll eat it right out of the shell. I like eggs all the way around. So it's Hard for me to even say. I think eggs have been underpriced forever. It's the perfect food. But I learned yesterday why it was going on, and it's because they're not vaccinating birds for the bird flu. I didn't know that. So the dude who runs Hickman Farms was on the day before, and Bruce and Gaydos were telling me this. I'm like, I'm today years old. I learned that that's not a thing. And as much as they jam in eggs constantly, I figured, well, you know, they'll just stuff another thing in that chicken. What do I care? Nope, they're not doing it. And that's why it's happening. It's as simple as just chucking some more drugs inside those chickens. How hard is this to bring the prices down so they don't have this bird flu thing any. But, you know, we're joking around about that or. I wasn't talking about. And Sal did your. Your people.

[Brady]

Oh, right.

[John]

Sal, the Ciccio. He was my. He was on with me. Sal Diccio, Although he calls it dicicio because he doesn't want to scare away all the, you know, non Italians. But I know how you really say the man's name. The Ciccio. Oh, and I did my Katie Hobbs impression yesterday. On the air. Yeah, on the air, the place drops out. It's like the whole place just starts caving in with laughter. And I'm like, jesus, they are not. When you're in a constant news cycle, humor is missing. These people laughed at it. This is the best audience I've ever had in my life. Cel kept going, wow, you're funny. I'm like, oh, what's happening? It's like just minor little jokes. This is. You should listen to the show. You'll. You'll fall out of your car. So it was a fun time.

[Brett]

And they're restricted on that in a way. They feel that way.

[John]

I don't know if they're restricted. I just don't know that they're that funny. I think that would be the. More importantly, I don't think any of them are holding back the hilarity. I just don't think they've got much in there.

[Brett]

There's some fear. Oh, we can't do that.

[John]

A little bit of that. But I also don't think they're very funny. I think there's a big part of that. If you're funny, you don't have that fear. You don't think about that moment. Of like, well, I better not be able. Now you're just. Then you're not funny. Then you're an analysis. And you got a stick up your ass. I don't say that. I don't think Bruce and gayos have sticks in their asses. But, I mean, maybe sometimes. But it was fun. It was a good time. But I did. I learned stuff yesterday. I went in there and learned things. I learned how they wiped out some.

[Brett]

Of those chicken farms. Take them all out.

[John]

30% of chickens just got blown out, and nobody ate them because a bird flu. I'd take some discount bird flu eggs. I don't care. I take my chances. Not all of them can have bird flu. And the odds of me catching are pretty low. Give me those eggs. Have a bird flu farm. Yeah. And then I learned also that we're already talking about governor's race. I didn't know that was the thing that was.

[Brett]

They give you a sheet throwing their talon.

[John]

Well, they give you a sheet right off the bat, say, here's what we got on deck. Here's what we're talking about. And I'm like, karen Taylor Robeson's gonna run for governor. I'm like, didn't we just do this? Like, that's. Can we take a break? And. No, there's already people talking about being governor.

[Brett]

I thought, does it come earlier?

[John]

Two more two years? Yeah. Yeah. But still, that's too soon. That's why I broke out to Katie Hopps. I'm like, I don't know who's gonna be governor and what, but I've only got five years left on this show, and pretty sure I want Katie to be here the whole time. Just close her out. It's lazy on my end to try to work in, but, you know, we've had Napolitano, she served us well as a. As a character on the show for about seven years. And then, you know, Brewer, Governor Brewer, who was just epic Biden before Biden. You know, we've had good character governors. And I don't know, what if Robeson's that good?

[Brady]

You have to work on your Robeson in person.

[John]

Ah, it's just, you know. But I don't know if she's gonna give me as easy as stuff as Hobbs does. Not much.

[Brett]

Biggs?

[John]

Yeah, Andy Biggs. I don't know. We just have him. Just like. The only thing I do with Andy Biggs is make it so every once in a while, Carrie Macho Man Lake would come in and use him as a gym apparatus, like, to Lift him and curl him and stuff like that. She's just physically stronger than him. I don't know. Just one of those deals where I'm surprised people are already talking about that. Uh oh, she's here. It's been a minute. Brett, your girl's here.

[Katie]

Hey guys, what's up? Hi, it's Governor.

[John]

Hi, Katie. Hi, Katie.

[Katie]

I'm Brady. Governor, can we have in the house? U. I'm angry, Brett, and I need you.

[John]

What's wrong?

[Katie]

I need you to help me out with something.

[Brady]

All right. What's wrong? I got you.

[Katie]

Someone you know went on a radio show yesterday.

[Brady]

Uh huh.

[Katie]

Your hat looks nice. You like? Is that a new hat?

[John]

Thank you. No, that's. Hey.

[Katie]

Something in the face.

[Brett]

Nice silver hair.

[Katie]

Okay. Yeah, you too.

[John]

Pubes.

[Katie]

Anyway, did you find a tumor in your kidney yesterday? Should I uncross my finger? I've been wishing for that for a long time. Anyway, so someone you know. Brett was on a news show yesterday and he was making voice fun of me.

[Brady]

How dare him?

[Katie]

I know. And I said, I hope Brett's not having to care for his grandmother today. And here's this because I saw you on Instagram with your grandma and I think she's. I think it's sweet that you let her out of hospice to go do stuff with you. Oh, man, she looks so ill. I thought. Come on, pretty. I thought that. I thought the other day, I was like, she's been such a nice person. It must have been like a throwback picture because you were with Jimmy Carter and you were on a bike. You had Jimmy Carter on the back of the bike and you were riding. That's so sweet. That Jimmy Carter. Last few days on the planet Brick. And then I found out that was your wife. Anyway, I would like you to kill. I mean, take care of the person that goes on news radio shows and tries to. Tries to do. Tries to make me look stupid. Brett.

[Brady]

Oh, I can't believe he would do that.

[Katie]

Do you know which one it is?

[Brady]

I think I got an idea. I think I got an idea.

[John]

Brady.

[Katie]

So if you could just get Rick all day. I'm pretty sure Brady was the one that was making fun of me.

[Brady]

So was he doing Lil Hobbs impersonations or what?

[Katie]

Yeah, I don't know what he was doing. He was doing something. I mean, people called me and said they felt bad for me. I mean, I want to be taken seriously. Brad. I'm the governor. Serious about it.

[Brady]

I can tell.

[Katie]

Like, evidently you are for elder care.

[John]

Oh, Jesus.

[Katie]

That's one of your things. How is that? Oh, lady, I don't like talking to you about. Listen, if you want to see Brett's. I don't know that you knew this about him, but he's an archaeologist and he keeps a mummy in his house.

[Brett]

Is that right?

[Katie]

That's right. It's on his Instagram sometimes. And he poses it and all sorts of stuff.

[John]

It's neat.

[Katie]

He must have found her in some sort of Egyptian tomb. He's way over a thousand years old.

[Brady]

Think I'm Indiana Jones or what?

[John]

I think you are.

[Katie]

All right, I gotta go. But you know what to do.

[Dick Toledo]

Kill Brady loves you.

[Brett]

And best in show.

[Katie]

Bye.

[John]

So, yeah, I did the Katie Hobbs.

[Brady]

Yesterday, Man, you pissed her off.

[John]

They lost their minds. Oh, here we go.

[Brett]

I hadn't seen her in a press conference in a while yesterday. My gosh. Kind of looks like Catherine O'Hara.

[John]

I've said that the whole time. We were voting for Catherine O'Hara. When she ran the first time I made it, that was. That was who I thought it was. We called her that. You don't remember? Oh, boy. Brain fog. We used to. I used to call her Catherine O'Hara. Oh, boy. We got to go back.

[Brett]

Total brain fog.

[John]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy's not. He's not here in the past anymore.

[Dale]

Did you.

[Brady]

Did you have to break out Carrie Macho man, too?

[John]

No, they didn't have the music, so it doesn't work. And I threatened to do rfk, but that's what. For the vaccines, for the chickens. But if you're not paying me, I'm not going. That. That one's not as easy as that one's work. That one's. That one's lifting heavy. Lifting light dancing. But I thank the guys over there for being nice. And south to Chichio for being the nice. And Sal brought his girl.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Hey, you sit here for a minute. I got stuff to do on the radio. Huh? You stay quiet. But it was super sweet, lady. They're. They're doing something for Valentine's Day and taking off and for the weekend, having a big weekend trip. I think you said the pine groves or pine barrens. Is that what it was? Yeah. I think that's where he's taking out. Remember what it was? So it was nice. It was fun. But I learned, and I haven't learned anything in a long time. Like, unintentionally. Most of the time, I learned stuff. It's because I'm watching a documentary I wanted to watch. So I'll learn something off of that this time I went in there and unintentionally was taught something. It was pretty cool. I like learning. I don't like seeking learning, but it was neat. When you're like, here's something you didn't know until right now. I didn't even know about vaccines. Kind of being up to the farmers and not being able to get it. Just shoot those birds with everything. I'm an American. I like my animals filled with steroids, things that are preservatives, all sorts of unhealthy crap. We all do. I've been to Australia. I ate their non steroid meats. I ate their organically grown. It's horrible. Gamey cows are gross unless they are just chock full of, you know, antibiotics and steroids and growth hormones and they. It's. They're disgusting. You think steak 44 has one option on there that says this one's not getting anything in it. They have, there's. There's a few of them that they wash in beer. That's a big selling point now. They're. They've never moved out of a box. We wash them by hand with beer. That's true. Kobe beef is what is wagyu. They get a massage every day after they shoot them full of chemicals. I don't know why we're drawing a line at, but it's been bugging me ever since I've been on that war room yesterday. That's for sure.

[Brett]

Grass fed's a big buzz too, in the beef ward, right?

[John]

Yeah, but grass fed, I don't know what's in the pesticide. Everything you can put in a cow to make it bigger, fatter and tastier. I'll do it. I would eat a cow if it didn't have hair on it. I would be. I would be arrested on a regular basis going out biting them in the field. I love rare meat. I like it raw.

[Brady]

So there's anti vaxx farmers out there.

[John]

Evidently. Well, I don't know if the farmers are doing it. I think it's just hard for them to get vaccines for the chickens and stuff.

[Brett]

And I'm like, maybe expense. I'm not sure too, but I have no idea. The fact that people. That's a buzzkill when you hear there's more chemicals in, you know, used like the steroids. The big thing is antibiotic free.

[John]

Not a buzzkill for me, Brady. Yeah, but more of that antibiotics, more of those preservatives, more of that stuff. Jam it in there. We get the best tasting food in the world, maybe next to Italy. They do a good job, too, because they jam their stuff full of everywhere. That's like us. That fills their farm animals. Just jams them up full stuff. And people always say, oh, John, you're an animal advocate. This is terrible. I'm like, yes, I am. All those animals we eat wouldn't be here if we weren't eating them. This isn't a natural breeding program. We're not hunting cows and chickens. I think chickens would be extinct by now if it wasn't for humanity. There's more chickens on the planet. Only because of us, because we just constantly make more chickens. It's not like they're running around there, you know, being free range chickens. I don't care if it's free range. Put it in a cage, jam it full of stuff. Don't show me. Never show me. And then make it tastier. Make it big. I love. Would chicken wings show? Nobody ever says, when. When you order chicken wings and they're small. Good. No one ever says that. No one ever says, oh, boy, Jumbo ones. You want chicken wings the size of your forearm. Like, yes, you get it. Look how big these are. Like, we love that stuff. So for us to play hypocritical, like, we're all. It's just. I like my antibiotics out of my chickens. I don't want any of the. Yes, you do.

[Brett]

Free range.

[John]

You don't want free. You don't care. Free range if only. If it's at Gold's Gym, walking from station to station, getting bigger. And meteor cram. My. I wish I was on there with that Hickman guy. I want him on here and go, what can I do to help get anything more in chickens that, like, grow them into humongous, like 70, 80 pounders each. And the reason I don't want to do that is because those chickens will eat too much stuff.

[Brett]

Huge eggs.

[John]

I'll pay extra. And the eggs would be the size of my head.

[Brady]

So you want Foghorn Leghorn.

[John]

Basically, I want loads of Foghorn Leg. I want the. I want the hens to look like Foghorn Leghorn. I want the roosters to be about Brady size, and I'm gonna pluck them and carve them and chow down. I mean, no one is happy with little wings, and they should sometimes, and that's me. I can't imagine Brady pass out chicken wings. Size of a TV screen. They're the best so and so. It's just the bird flu vaccine they're not giving them. It doesn't make any sense. You give them all sorts of other ones. Are you trying to keep them all antibodied up? And I know, I know the minute.

[Brett]

It goes out, you know, if one or two get it. Oh, yeah. Gotta wipe out everything.

[John]

Kill millions and millions of birds. They said there was like 20 million of them the first weekend. Like we got to kill 20. That just made me go, how many chickens do we have that you can go, well, that's a quarter of our. Of our flock.

[Brett]

What?

[John]

So coyotes and wolves and cars and everything else. Chickens would be dying left. We'd hate chicken so much if we didn't eat them. They stink. And you know the kind of. The funny thing is all those people that have chickens in their yards. Everybody thought that was a bad idea. I had a friend of mine used to do body stretching. Kinesiology. What do they call it? Kinesiology. I don't know. Anyway, he was a. Like a body expert scientist. He dead chickens in his backyard. And every time I'd go over there, he'd hand me like nine or ten freshly laid eggs. Like, great.

[Brett]

So good.

[John]

And he had them all over his backyard. However, this beautiful house. His yard stunk like nothing I've ever smelled in my life. It was horrible. Like chickens stink and they're loud and they're annoying and they stay. They're just gross. But he was. They eat scorpions and whatever. But he did say that because of that he had coyotes running around his house all the time because there's a bunch of free chickens in there and they're stupid. So they don't run from coyotes and they don't fly away because they're stupid. The birds that come on unfly and birds. The point of being a bird. He has chickens.

[Brett]

He did.

[John]

Oh, coyote popped in.

[Brett]

Yeah. Ate him up over that six foot wall. Like it was no problem.

[John]

But I don't even like. But that's the thing. Everybody laughs like, oh, God, he's got chickens. Neighborhoods fight to have. I'm surprised your neighborhood allows a guy to have chickens.

[Brett]

They don't.

[John]

Oh, not well. Maybe they put the coyote back there themselves.

[Brett]

And there's. There's a. I know there's multiple houses that have. Usually it's like two chickens.

[John]

Yeah. And they get loads of them.

[Brett]

Lay plenty of eggs.

[John]

Tons. They get a producer, man. It's great.

[Brady]

So need to move.

[John]

Yeah. I would get out of there too, because I've got. We had one in our neighborhood and it was quickly shut down. We don't have anything about getting a Couple. We don't even have an hoa. And we got them out of there. You wouldn't. Your chickens would be. You would have that cartoon moment where you see them in the backyard and then just you imagine them roasted, spinning in the middle of the bench. I'm gonna get them.

[Katie]

I'm gonna go get that one.

[John]

And if I. And if you. If I knew you had chickens, I'd be over there every day, mainline and all sorts of drugs into them to make them gigantic. And then I'd buy super chicken off of you and I would eat it. I had no problem, John.

[Katie]

It's just so rich, mean. It's animal cruelty.

[John]

They're bred for food. It's different.

[Katie]

But they're feelings.

[John]

I know, I know, I know. It does kind of stink. Don't show it to me. Don't show me that stuff. I don't want to see how the sausage is made, but I want some sausage. I want some meat, I want some chicken. I just don't want to. I don't care how they die, but I care how they live. And that means loading them up. When I was in Australia, I got off the plane in Sydney, starving, and I see a place, I think it was called Happy Jacks, the Burger King of Australia. Same place. I don't know why they changed the name, but they did. I guess they don't like monarchies in Australia. And wandered over and saw there's a Whopper and an Italian chicken sandwich. Like this is a Burger King menu. Got that burger, put it in my mouth. And I immediately turned to the guy like something's wrong with this thing.

[Dale]

He's.

[John]

Because we don't put all that crap in our food, mate. And I'm like, well, you guys are missing out. This is horrible.

[Brady]

Got a syringe.

[Brett]

Let me inject this.

[John]

I don't think it's too late. Get some peptides in this immediately, some antibiotics and load them back up. Put them back on that grill. That's the healthier version. It's the inedible one. The reason everybody here is thin is because their food tastes terrible. You need to come to America and fatten up. We got 44 ounce sodas and food that's filled with garbage and it's delicious. That was the worst part about Australia. That food was everywhere I went. Horrible little lean. Horrible lean or otherwise. I don't mind lean. That's what I eat here. But lean here, 93% lean, 7%. That's what I get for meat. Still loaded up with tasty tasty. Antibiotics and tasty, tasty steroids. So it can still be lean. I don't know if they got cows on Treasure. I don't know how they measure that stuff, but it's 93 or 97% lean. I'm like, I'm all in. In Australia, that thing would. That would be a slice of paper. Useless old cows in Australia. Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, they're working too hard. They're tougher. Not as tender, maybe.

[John]

I don't know where they're getting them, but it ain't.

[Brett]

That ain't the way we're keeping an area. Fatten them up.

[John]

It's a reason. When you're in Australia, you go and you eat, like, crocodile and cassowary and ostrich and all.

[Brady]

You have a Vegemite sandwich.

[John]

Like, no, Vegemite is like. I don't know what that. It's like smashing a bug and then bleeding on it. And then. I don't. And then putting some sort of strange black licorice jelly and then they put it on a wafer that the toast they use. It's. If it's like one of your. It's a jizz sock that's been under your bed for eight years. It's just crusty.

[Brett]

And you can get that toast at the vending thing to feed the animals at a petting zoo. Yeah, it's the same. The melba toast, It's.

[Dale]

No.

[John]

Melva toast is nice and soft compared to what they're giving you over there. Vegemite. Some Vegemite. It's in Australia. I think it's a joke on tourists. Hey, vividumite. Hey, some Vegemite. And I'm like, okay. And I spread this glop, like, ugh. And it's not even a jelly. It's almost waxy. It's like earwax with something in it. And you take a bite, and every Australian's smiling like they know. What do you think, Mike? I think you people are gonna die of this. I don't know. What the hell is this? And then you talk to real Australians, like, we don't really eat that. It's kind of hillbilly food. Just because we only do it because men at work brought it up. Well, that's in the song.

[Brady]

When we had Parkway Drive at Ufest and Fitz and I interviewed him and he had. Even Winston, he was just kind of like, nah, no, we don't. We don't drink Fosters either.

[John]

You know, Vigemite is for. They call them bogans there. That's very true. Bogan means hillbilly in Australia. That was so gross. Yeah, so keep loading our food. Learning it yesterday on a news channel. Load our food up with all of it. Precautionary. Throw some Covid vaccines in those birds. I don't care.

[Brett]

Do not compare ammonia.

[John]

All of it. Pick Tarvy. Load them up. I want to eat that thing and be. And get all my medicine and vitamins from that.

[Brett]

Shingles, chickens.

[John]

Okay. Hey, I'm over 50 now. I gotta start worrying about shingles on a regular basis. Every time I get a little pain in my neck, I'm like, I've got shingles. My buddy Max just got it. Max friend in denver, Max, like 30 something. And it was for weeks. Max was crying about his shingles. My aunt had shingles. I've never seen anything worse. Turned her into a scaly snake of blood. And I'm like, if I ever get that, I'm gonna kill myself. It was horrible looking.

[Brett]

When you hear Buffy has Shingles, it just.

[John]

Yeah, that's funny. Buffy has Shingles is a great band name. A phenomenal, maybe my favorite one of all time. Buffy has Shingles. That's so nice. Ben Stiller would be in the movie Buffy Has Shingles.

[Brady]

I think KDKB plays them right now.

[John]

I'm in on that. Yeah. Let's put it all in there and just make us a little bit. I don't care anymore about that kind of stuff. And you can eat healthy. There's plenty of ways to eat healthy. But if you're a meat eater, I want it to be thick and juicy. I'm like, sir, mix a lot of meat. I like big. Well, I'd say chickens, but male chickens, you can't say, I like. I like big cocks. And I cannot like. It's for chickens. I like them. They create great food. Anyway, I may be a little dizzy. Yesterday, I told the boys, I text them, I said, remember the streak, the 25 year streak on this show of none of the members being knocked out by a dog? Well, that streak came to an end yesterday in my kitchen. Bust the bowling ball. Super excited to see daddy. There's a door in the kitchen, in the house that is a. It's a Dutch door, which is one of those doors where the top opens and the bottom stays closed. And I call it Cookie Window. And I say, who wants to go to Cookie Window? And the guys are outside and they run over to Cookie Window and I open the top and I give them cookies out the window and they lose their minds. Well, yesterday, I Said, meet me at Cookie Window. And they all take. We're on the other side of the yard, all take off towards Cookie Window. I go in the house and go over to Cookie Window. And this time I opened the door all the way. Well, bus before Cookie Window, went over to something called tree ball. Tree ball is a ball hanging from a rope that he runs towards, grabs and hangs in the air for, like, swings himself through the air on this rope. He loves tree ball. Brady, you've seen tree ball. And I said, it's a hilarious thing. So he runs to tree Ball first. Wang gets all fired up. All the other dogs come in Cookie Window. I bend down to pet my man Jack Ham. And I'm petting Jack and I don't see bus at all. Come blazing from the backyard through the door. And full airborne headbutt straight to my forehead. Whammy. And I mean 100 miles an hour leaping up at me. And I just took the punch, like right above my. I'm so shocked. I don't have a huge ball. It's there, it's in there. But I. It should be swollen out to here. And I wrestle pretty hard with the dog. So I've taken headbutts. Jack got me a couple months ago and blacked my eye, but this one was on my forehead. And I just, I. I remember getting hit and then a few seconds later opening my eyes on the kitchen floor. I don't. It wasn't long. I'm pretty sure it wasn't long because they were all still kind of there. The cookies were gone, so they, of course they had time to knock out a couple of treats.

[Brett]

But if you do freeze, the arms go out.

[John]

I don't think. I know. I was worried about a concussion for a little bit. I thought, yeah, I don't know if I flashed them to a gang signs, but I. But as I kind of recreated it later, I was facing the oven in the kitchen when I got hit. And when I woke up, I was facing the exact opposite direction. So at one point during the punch, I turned around and took a couple steps so I didn't fall directly down. I had a couple minutes where I was out on my feet and then went, you know, like a good boxing thing. I took a shot. So I don't think I had a concussion, I'm pretty sure. Although the scariest part is, and I've had a concussion before, I went to sleep eight, nine, ten minutes after the incident, which is the opposite of what you're supposed to do. So, yeah, stay awake I did. You're supposed to stay awake. I wasn't even that tired, but I went into a deep, restful sleep straight after. So no headache, but it was a punch. I've never been knocked out by my dog before yesterday, and Bus was unaffected. My skull and his skull, he was fine. It's a bulldog. They're built for it. They ram into stuff. He hits cement walls with that thing. I've seen him chase toys. He does parkour off walls. He runs as hard as he can. And then we realize his last second, he's gonna run into a wall. Either drops his head and takes it, or he runs up the side of the wall.

[Brett]

It's amazing.

[John]

Bulldogs are unreal athletes.

[Brett]

Coco's taking out a tree.

[John]

Growing up, and dogs can't get concussions. I looked it up yesterday. I'm like, well, he can't be.

[Brett]

You see lightning?

[John]

He took the punch I took. It was unreal. So I spent. I spent a little time yesterday wondering, is this the end? Is this good? Is this where somebody finds me? Nobody's home. Don't make any phone calls. A few minutes later, I'm texting you guys because it's hysterical to me, but I'm like, there's some true concern here that my head might not be 100% normal. And then I go over to the war room and start doing news. Oh, that was. That. That was. Oh, I had to do that a couple hours after. So I took my nap. Still felt a little groggy. I don't feel. I feel a little dizzy still. So I think I might have gotten. I got my bell rung pretty good, but I don't know. I've never been headbutted by a dog before that way. And it was about the end of me, which is, you know, so be careful. Love your dogs a little bit, but keep your distance because they don't judge. But you got to be careful around cookie window at my house. That's a war zone. All five of them roll up to cookie window. They all sit down, like, immediately, even before you get there. It's the funniest thing in the world. If you're ever at my house, just see the dogs in the back and go, who wants cookies at cookie window? Oh. Oh, it's Christmas. They all take off together, even the Three Legger. She's in last place, but she's running as hard as she can. Yardley's getting over there. They hit cookie window, and the five of them just sit down and wait because they know if they're Good. The cookie window will open and cookies fly out of it. Cookie windows. The.

[Brett]

They know the drill.

[John]

The greatest invention of all time for control. All right, that's enough. Who wants cookie window? They drop everything. Toys. No toys. By cookie window. They just spit everything out and run to cookie window. Tree Ball got hit first yesterday because Bus was a little overactive. He very excited to see me, and then he knocked me cold. But I think that's how people. I think people die doing that kind of stuff.

[Brett]

I had a buddy years ago walking his dog at night at Butler park, and he had a bouvier.

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

And he's like, you know, I'll just let him off the leash. And it's pretty dark. He's on the phone talking with his wife. Boom. The dog just starts getting the zoomies. The zoomies. And takes his knee out.

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Both legs. But blew his knee up.

[John]

Oh, from the side.

[Brett]

From the side. And as he's getting taken out, this sweeps the leg. The phone flies. Now he can't walk. He's laying in the middle of this park. It's dark. There's no one around. He can't reach his phone. He's like, I'm gonna die here.

[John]

Yeah. You just feel like it's over.

[Brett]

Yelling.

[John]

And the thing that loves you the most is, like, licking you.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Get up.

[Brett]

What's going on, dad?

[John]

The Flanders de Bouvier. It's kind of a bougie dog.

[Brett]

That's what they do. But they ram.

[John]

That's horrifying. So be careful with your dogs today and not been knocked down by one in the past. And also, my day is going to be set because I saw this. We're just days away. You can start taking a look if you're interested, online soon. But the administrator of O.J. simpson's estate and his lawyers are proposing an auction of everything that belonged to O.J. simpson online between March 12 and March 29. And when I say everything that belonged to O.J. simpson, I mean there's going to be a knife missing from that block.

[Brett]

Drinking while the iron's hot.

[John]

Yeah. When you get toners, going to be a glove, some socks you're going to want to wash first. Up for sale, photos of O.J. now, if you watch the documentary on Netflix, there was a hallway of nothing but pictures. And one of the guys says, I've never met a narcissist like this. Every picture was OJ with the celebrity. So they're all for OJ With Bill Clinton, Henry Kissinger, Andy Warhol, A painting of OJ by Andy Warhol, His Heisman USC poster signed by oj. Pictures of him from the Naked Gun, Autographed I am.

[Brady]

This is own pictures.

[John]

Of course he did. And then he hung them up. OJ gave himself. I don't even know what the Cassandra Crossing is, but that was evidently another movie. I've never heard of it. I don't know what that is. Series of plaques of accomplishments in the NFL and golf stuff. His fantasy football, like, he's got all sorts of, like, trophies from that. Because after 94 was when fantasy football really got cooking and OJ in your league and fantasy football, you let him win pretty much every year. You don't want to piss him off. Here's the other thing.

[Brett]

What about his Mahomes jersey?

[John]

Yeah, he's got. Well, that. That was purchased online. Patrick didn't give it to him, but I bet you it's autographed by O.J. simpson. I bet she signed it. Here's the thing that they're real excited about. Evidently OJ's porn stash from prison he got to take home. And it's there.

[Brett]

It's. Isn't it? A lot of magazines.

[John]

Loads of Penthouse. Yeah, loads of it. And that's a big one. Also might include a number of documents from OJ's time behind bars. Handwritten OJ grievances, power of attorney stuff. Handwritten. Starts of a manuscript where he talks about Bruce Jenner and the Kardashians. All of this stuff. Something that's not on there because they considered it to be a little bit too far was the hospice deathbed that there's been pictures of that he died in, in his house.

[Brett]

The Goldmans get this.

[John]

I don't know. They gotta get a cut probably. I'd imagine the estate has to kick in something. I don't know. It doesn't. Yeah. So OJ's got that. They. The OJ's kids are the only thing that can stop this. And they have to do all sorts of appeal stuff. And they've got a couple weeks to do that.

[Brady]

Are they doing it so far? Are they.

[John]

Not yet.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

But if they don't, it's up for grabs March 12, and they're gonna start. You know, I tried to buy Burt Reynolds pajamas.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

And that was. It was a struggle. And, you know, they still had a bunch of smoking the Bandit stuff on there. I've tried to buy some pocket squares, some, like, hankies with Burt's initials, like, embroidered on there. And I was in on that auction and I had the pajamas. Twelve hundred dollars for a pair of Burt's. They were maroon silk Burt Reynolds pajamas with BR on the lapel. It was just. It was amazing. So I thought to myself, this is. Whoops, sorry. This is cocking. You know that I had those. And the last second, some dude went in and just swept over all of it. So I learned how off the Burt Reynolds auction online. You sit and wait till the last second, and you see that boost, and then you got to go grab it it or you're in trouble. I will.

[Brett]

It's like ebay.

[John]

I will. Remember when I tell you about life change alone, how you got to be good with money and have good credit. I'm throwing that out the window. I'm going to be bad with money. I'm going to own all of OJ Stuff. I'm getting something out of this. His pianos for sale. And I would sit at that piano and learn songs and sing them as O.J. simpson, just. Just to make the piano feel better. A lot of stuff in there.

[Brady]

So whatever happened to his Bronco? Because Al was the one that they were in the chase, but you never heard of what happened to his white.

[John]

Well, they took it all apart. I know that.

[Jamie Lissow]

Okay.

[John]

And then maybe it just sat in evidence. All right.

[Brady]

And it had blood stains on it or something. I think a couple.

[John]

Yeah, a lot. It was loaded with blood, but they took all the insides of it out.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[John]

So I don't know if they ever put it back together and then, like, auctioned it off. Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, great question, though.

[John]

My buddy, our friend Thomas Wells, has a 1994 white Bronco. We call it the OJ Mobile. And it's when he rolls up in that he souped it up a little bit, but it is. It made me want a 94 white Bronco so bad. And they're not cheap. Old Broncos are expensive. I didn't. They're like. If you have AN Old, like, early 90s Bronco, those things are crazy expensive. And they weren't that great. Like, I get the old 70s ones, the early 70s. Those things go for some. If they're in good shape, a couple.

[Brett]

Hundred grand, or they customize it doesn't.

[John]

They don't need to do much other than restore them. They get the outrageous stuff when they're just Barrett Jackson nuts. If you keep it in shape, paint it, and the inside isn't torn up, you get 150, $200,000 for an old Bronco.

[Brett]

At that Barrett Jackson, they were auctioning off a couple of park ranger trucks. From the 60s that were like mint, you know, in that green.

[John]

Had the Forestry on the side, us on the. Oh, I'd get one of those. I had my eyes open when I took a walk in Arcadia a long time ago. I saw a dude, had a silver one had for sale in the back. Like, that's one of the coolest looking broncos I've ever seen. Like, what are you looking for? And he goes, it needs a new engine. And I'm like, oh, that's no good. And he goes, yeah, but you know, I've got. I can order it. And I'm like, all right. I'm like, well, how much for that? It's running. He goes, yeah. And I'm like, new engine. And the shell was beautiful and all this other stuff. And it was $68,000. And I'm like, 68 grand? It doesn't have an engine that's worth anything. And he goes, yeah, but the engine. I'm like, how much for the engine? He said, it's gonna be like 62,000 for the engine. And I'm like, what? And that's when I learned how much those things cost when they're. When they're working. And I'm not one to fix things up, but I'm getting OJ's crap and I'm getting it soon. Can't wait. So keep your eyes on that. And if you got anything you wanna. We should do it for the show. KUPD should buy some OJ stuff and just have it just for no reason. I'll hang it in there because it's awesome. His Penthouse collection. And you turn pages and you realize not only has OJ used this crinkly stuck together thing, there's a few of the girls in Penthouse he actually was with because that Barbie, Barbienti or whatever her name was, the one that he was dating during the trial, I forgot her last name, but she's.

[Brett]

She was a Penthouse girl.

[John]

She was in Penthouse. She was a. She did like Cinemax movies back in the day. She had a lot of naked stuff, so she probably handed over a few of them. But he had a porn stash in a prison and Hojo used to tug his horn there in prison. And then now you can own that, that documentary.

[Brett]

It's interesting to hear is I think it was either his agent or another. He's like, after everything was done, he turned out to be like a 20 year old guy again.

[John]

Oh, yeah, he was blown to Florida. He just. He gave up and just started to bone all these ladies. And I always Hand it to the ladies that would bone OJ. Like, OJ was in his, you know, mid-60s when he got out of jail. And he's, you know, all the girls he's with are like 22, 23. He's at these coke parties. You know, there was a gap of time where OJ's life stunk, but he got right back to was great till he was about 45, 50, then kind of crooked for a while, got angry, got a little weird, then lost his temper one night pariah. Then for 12 years he just had to sit down and he'd lived some life. He gets out and it was like, well, where were we? And then he just starts doing it again without the killing as far as we know. I want to own some of that stuff. I want some OJ stuff. I want a suitcase, I want it all. Let's get a wake up song. 585-9800 a good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD, wake up. It's out of control.

[Dale]

98 KUPD.

[John]

It's miles to nowhere. Katie and the Hobbs right there. Thank you quite kindly for our theme song. Once again we got a. Jamie Lissow is going to come in here a little bit. He's on Gutfeld's show a lot. There's a weird thing going on in the world of comedy is that. And I talked to some people in the know that in the last seven or eight months this, I don't know if some sort of like a power over the world of stand up comedy and entertainment stuff has swung from don't you dare mention your Republican to that being the new thing to do. And Jamie is one of them that I'm curious like because he's on Gutfeld all the time and I don't know that that was something that was getting him in main clubs. Now he's got two shows here at Scottsdale center for the Arts. They added a second show because the first one sold out so fast that this pendulum swing back. How many comics that I've spoken to are like, yeah, I can't say how I really feel. I've been on Rogan and I had to play it middle but like so many of them had to hide how they really felt because they'd get, they'd get destroyed for the longest time. Yeah, it was like being gay. It was like the strangest thing. And now they're kind of like, I'm a little, I feel a little safer. Clubs wouldn't touch Jamie LaSalle. They're not. I'm not doing that. Just in case it got to, you know, that the people who just hated opposing viewpoints would pick it or do say, he's on the Fox News. But now it's like a great place to go. Jeff dies on there all the time. He's been in here a hundred times. He never hid, but he never made it like a. Now he's just. It's like being out. And it's not that I agree or disagree with how they. It was just. It was an obvious thing of saying. I'm not. I'm not saying that I remember. Brian, you're done. Yeah, Callan told me, Goes, hey, I got to protect my gig. I've got him when he was. Before all the crap hit him, when he was at ABC and had his own show. And he's like, ah. You don't talk about it with the. They'll just fire you. And like, for thinking that way. They'll find a way. And I just keep it to yourself. Is kind of nod and go through it. Like, wow, then that's totally different. Now it's interesting. So we'll have him in here a little later this morning. He's very funny. He's divorced dad. They tear him up on that show about never ever, like, his wife leaving him for all the wrong reasons. It'll be fun. This guy said, hey, John, I heard you talking about going to Australia. I was there in the 90s. I agree the food was bad, but the Washington great. Yeah, Well, I brought mine from the northern hemisphere, so the. The lady bits were the same there as they are here. Because I actually went with someone. I've never been. I don't know if I ever could go on a. I don't know, maybe a puss first vacation overseas. I don't think I've ever done that. Huh. I don't know. Then I would have to go with, like, dudes. I don't know if that's something I want to do.

[Brett]

Go with a bro group.

[John]

Yeah. Then it becomes the brogram. And you're down there doing bro stuff. And then the bro down. They're dragging some chicken. And you got everybody's. You'll have the cheap dude who wants to share rooms and gets mad when you start saying, well, we all get our own room. It's like, oh, great. And he becomes a guy who's kind of. Yeah, I don't like bro.

[Brett]

I mean, I guess I pretty much did that.

[John]

You didn't go on a puss first vacation?

[Brett]

No. It was a motorcycle ride, but it was all guys and. But you know, there wasn't any problem with the rooms.

[John]

What do you mean?

[Brett]

Everyone get.

[John]

You get your own room.

[Brett]

Had your own room.

[John]

Did you get your own room?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

And did you pay for that by yourself?

[Brett]

I did.

[John]

Okay. Because most of the time somebody in that group is poor. And I know the guys you went with were.

[Brett]

Oh, I was definitely the poorest person there. And you always have.

[John]

Can't help it. You'll have one poor guy. And most of the time if it's a bunch of rich guys on a puss first vacation, they're married. And it's just now you're on a puss first vacation with a bunch of dudes who are going to get you into a jackpot when you get home. It's not going to. It's no fun. Four single dudes or more on a vacation. It's trouble. It's trouble. So I've never been on that. Usually you go on long vacations, you take your wife, you take. Because then. And imagine that I'm going to Australia without you. Oh, is that worth it?

[Brady]

Good luck with that.

[John]

Could you imagine if you and I just decided to say, hey, Megan Matiah, we're gonna head over to. To the Orient for a little while, just the two of us. Like you two are gay. I'm like, no, no, no. That's immediately the first thought. You're gay. If you're going on an all man vacation, leaving the ladies but you're gay, or you're going over there for the cheap hookers, there's no reason. All by yourself.

[Brett]

Either way, you're getting divorced. By myself? I'm gonna go to Oktoberfest with who in Munich? With five other fraternity brothers. At all.

[John]

Oh, that's gay. Unless it's a puss person, it's all.

[Brett]

On the down low.

[John]

Well, it's gonna. Might as well be. It might as well be. He's planning trips in October.

[Brett]

Dope.

[John]

September, whatever. Okay, that's. You need to stop that. Just focus on today from all the news you've given us in the last couple of days. I wouldn't be.

[Brett]

Well, things might have changed a little bit.

[John]

If I'm you, I'm not. I'm not buying dairy products right now because I don't know if I'm gonna last outlast them. So five dudes to Munich, Germany?

[Brett]

Yeah. Total.

[John]

Total of five just to be dudes together in Germany.

[Brett]

Check out Oktoberfest.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

And you're gonna Go over there and they're gonna drink like crazy. Probably. Are they all five boozies?

[Brett]

Yeah, they all drink.

[John]

Yeah. They're all gonna pound the beers, and then you're gonna get. Are they all married?

[Brett]

Yes. Oh, no, one's not.

[John]

You're in trouble.

[Brett]

He sleeps on his stomach.

[John]

No, no, I'm not saying gay. You're in trouble. You're in trouble. You're not gonna. You're not coming home to a peaceful house. Not happening.

[Katie]

So which one of you. Which one of them. Was he just bringing girls back because.

[John]

They know girls don't travel in singles. So you. When he gets laid, that means you guys played wing. This is. Two divorces out of the five are coming out of this. Are you with me?

[Brett]

She gave me this presentation.

[John]

Ronnie doesn't want you around the house. I'm not saying you. You'll be fine. You're not doing anything. You're good. But one single guy. Four married dudes at Oktoberfest in Germany. Two divorces are coming out of that, and it's because you brought a single guy. That's happening. Unless he's in a wheelchair or something. No, you're. It's big ones, too. Dirty, messy, sloppy ones. Because it's gonna. Bad things are gonna happen. This is a bad idea. Don't invite the single guy. Go as four dudes who just go to complain about their wives over in a bra house. That's fine. You can't bring the single guy. Can't be done. Terrible idea. Because he's gonna try to get laid the whole time, as he should. Right? And one of these married dudes is gonna be like, she's got a friend. Well, you know, I can't. It's not. Dude.

[Katie]

Thousands of miles.

[Brett]

They would never do that.

[John]

All right. Just saying. You brought. You're bringing a single guy. You might as well just put. It's Russian roulette. One bullet in the chamber. Yeah, immediately. And she's. And Bronnie will text.

[Katie]

I trust you.

[John]

Of course I trust you. I'm not saying you're the one that's going to have it happen, but you're going to be getting phone calls from wives.

[Katie]

Tell the truth to me, Brady.

[John]

God damn it. Well, I don't know who you're going with, but he's got a dumb nickname.

[Katie]

Did Bungalow have sex with that girl?

[Brett]

Settle down, Straw line.

[John]

I wasn't there.

[Katie]

I. I don't know.

[John]

But the single guy's gonna be pounding ass like crazy, or at least trying to. And you're Gonna be in some awkward spots you don't see. You guys see the forest of the trees on this one? Stay away from him. And you're. Oh, oh. Unless it's Larry. Is Larry the single guy?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

Okay, then you're screwed, man. You're screwed. Terrible idea, Brett. You, me, my buddy Mark. Yeah, and the swinging dick I know that doesn't have a wife right now. We all want to head down to Mexico, play at the beach. You coming with? Probably. No, I'm gonna have to stay home for that one.

[Katie]

Where is he going?

[John]

Oh, he just wants to be around the dudes.

[Katie]

Well, what's he gonna do the whole time?

[John]

I think we all know the answer to that. Women aren't dumb. They know that chicks don't travel in singles down there. Oh, you guys, it's gonna be a. It's gonna be a big secret vacation. A lot of lying area. That flight back is going to be everybody going. All right, here's the story. And that's. And everybody's got to be on the same page. My wife's gonna call you. Oh, well, he's gonna cave.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

We've been doing it for years.

[John]

Who has? Yeah, and it's never worked out. Hopefully that guy gets married or something. But you can't leave your wives at home and go troll the world with a single man.

[Brady]

So Ronnie's okay with the bro down in Germany without her?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Wow.

[Brett]

I mean, she. She wants to check it out one day.

[John]

She's on her own. She's not good. She'll be fine. She's not one that has to worry. This is bad. This is not good. Now Ronnie's not worried about Buddy. You're getting it up over in German. I think it's.

[Brett]

She knows the single guy.

[John]

Yeah. Is he a loser?

[Brett]

No. Good dude.

[John]

Is he?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Swing a lot of ass real nice. Does he?

[Brett]

He does all right.

[John]

All right.

[Brett]

For 60 year old man.

[Brady]

Game over.

[John]

But he's got money.

[Brett]

Yeah, he's fine.

[John]

Yeah, game over.

[Brady]

Better call Kent. Make sure you have all your affairs straight.

[John]

In fact, you know what? Start putting sticky notes on stuff around the house because the amount of lying you're gonna have to do to cover up for Bungalow and Club Foot and. And Ching Ching Charlie. And I don't know who else you're bringing on this trip from the fraternity.

[Brady]

But it's Mikey the Nose and Brat brothers all.

[John]

Are they all fraternity brothers?

[Brett]

Yes.

[John]

Oh, God. It's gonna be reliving the youth. This is terrifying. I hate this trip already. Like when my friend told me, he goes, hey, four couples a week on a boat. Private chef. And I'm like, no way. Why girls can't get along for a week. Trapped on a boat together. There'll be a fight the first day. Everybody knows each other. Like, okay, the people that replaced us fought the first day. Another couple.

[Katie]

You never liked me.

[John]

And I knew it. Two glasses of wine. Two glasses of wine. Cause you just know. Human experience will teach you. Four couples, and one of the girls is new and somebody's gonna say something.

[Brady]

Trapped on a boat.

[John]

Trapped for 10 days. And then you gotta hide in your room. And like, if you leave and that other person's out there, suddenly you're responsible for doing stuff with them. No downtime. Oh. So I told him, absolutely not. Come on, you're crazy. We all get along. I'm like, yeah, now there's a reason why we don't live together for 10 days at a time. Trapped in the ocean. First day. Called me. It was a disaster. Like, really? Yeah. First day. This one fought with that one. And man, you were right. My God, they can't. Women can't be drinking on a boat for 10 days and live together.

[Brett]

It's crazy.

[John]

It's not like friends.

[Brett]

It's five days.

[John]

You're guys. That's different. In five days time, you will undo 135 years of marriage. A combination. It'll be two or three of them that are not coming home to households that are happy. No way.

[Brett]

I'm sorry, but I love Helga.

[John]

Yeah, he's not. Nobody's gonna. Nobody's gonna love anything. There's gonna be trouble. Just questions. Nobody. Maybe all the dudes might not do anything. Yeah, and one of the dudes gonna take a fat German grenade for his 60 year old single friend. And the next thing you know, she's gonna be in his room too long. Wife's gonna call.

[Katie]

What's the time difference?

[John]

Oh, it's like 10:00. What are you guys doing in the back? You hear.

[Katie]

Who'S in the room with you?

[John]

The maid.

[Katie]

Oh, at 10 at night?

[Brett]

We wanted some schnitzel.

[John]

We just ordered in the Uber. Uber eats. It's great over here.

[Brady]

We're going to tour the schnapps factory right now.

[Dale]

Are you drunk?

[John]

Who's in there?

[Katie]

Where's your single friend? Laugh a looping.

[John]

He's with some girl he met last.

[Katie]

Oh, I knew this trip. Okay, we'll talk when you come home.

[John]

That's gonna happen to three of the five guys. We'll talk when you come home. You should have shirts printed up. We'll talk when. We'll talk when I get home. Can't have that trip. It isn't about trust. It's about reality. None of the guys might do anything wrong. Everybody might be angels. It's not coming home with that perception. The more angelic you are, the less they'll believe you. Your trouble. Have fun watching your friends lives disintegrate in Germany. Oh, good luck, Brady.

[Brett]

It's me in the shirt.

[John]

You'll wear the shirt because you're just gonna go for, you know, the delicious German water and a sip of beer. What are they? Snossges? Is that what those are called?

[Brady]

Those are the dog food.

[John]

German food. You're gonna eat so much bratwurst, you might as well eat a male wang. I bet you could fool Brady into it. Just pile up a bunch of brats and then a wang at the end.

[Katie]

This one won't come off of the wall.

[Brady]

Be like Nick and bachelor party.

[Brett]

What's the glory? Worst.

[Katie]

Yeah, I'll eat it.

[John]

You're gonna come back with heart disease and everybody else is gonna come back divorced. Oh, the ladies are. You know why they're staying at home. They're gonna go out on a little trip together too. Or at least a zoom call where they start talking about like, you know, what do you think a fair payment will be monthly when he comes back? What do you think that is? He makes this much here? What do you think a fair payment is? I'll ask for that.

[Katie]

You better get that house, girl.

[John]

Oh, I'm getting the house. Brady. Good luck. This guy says, good morning, John. Oh, oh, wait, that's a different one. Nevermind. Sorry. I was reading that this one. Oh, here it is. Says I'm emailing because Brady wasn't listening to his doctor and I'm worried about about him. Elevated protein in one's urine doesn't mean your kidney is shedding or whatever crazy BS he was trying to spout. Kidneys act as filtration systems for your body. Elevated proteins usually correlate with diabetes or decreased GFR score, which indicates lower kidney function and is the primary indicator for renal disease. Brady reduces the protein like barbecue in his diet. It could reduce the protein levels in his urine but won't change the function of your kidneys. Generally speaking, you can't reverse your damage. See the chart I've included below? This is coming from a true one diabetic that had kidney education for roughly 30 years because of all the problems they've had going to fact checker for Science News. I volunteer as many of the stories and subsequent discussions have become ludicrous. Ludicrous. Signed, Morgan Devlin. More people are emailing me like crazy, worried about you and your kidney knowledge and what's going on. And you did your blood yesterday and what's the word?

[Brett]

You just get your blood let you.

[Dale]

Right.

[John]

But did they say anything? Oh, they can get results. You put some heat on it. Throw it on there.

[Brett]

Take away from today. I'll say I don't hear from the doctor today.

[John]

Well, I hope you hear something where we can throw bells and whistles because I'm tired of reading about you in my emails going, this is what I had happen. And kidneys falling out is not how. I don't know what's going on with Freddie, but people are. We're concerned.

[Brett]

We're trying to figure that out, too.

[John]

We're concerned at your lack of concern. We feel like you're hiding something from us. And now you want to go off to Germany with a bunch of frat brothers. This is. Ludacris is right. Making plans for October. You sit down and rest and wait for your blood test. No future vacation plans for you. Although at this point, it would be the best thing that could happen to him is if his kidneys had a little hiccup here and he couldn't go to Germany to that divorce party those friends are throwing. They might. You might as well.

[Brett]

Might happen.

[John]

You might as well just call it the before she gets half trip, because this is. You're in trouble. This one says, ask Brady. This John. How did he get his wife to give him a hall pass? No. But nobody else is allowing this trip. How did Ronnie allow the hall pass?

[Brett]

She knew most of the guys involved, and they said they wanted to do this for. To celebrate the 60th birthday.

[John]

All your 60th birthdays.

[Brett]

Yeah, it was pretty easy.

[John]

Ronnie's not worried that you're gonna come home with, like, tons of new beer cans to store somewhere she hates.

[Dale]

You're not allowed.

[John]

You're not allowed to bring any beer cans home at all?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

If you find, like, we haven't talked about that. Hootie pool or whatever you call them all the time. Whatever you got. And it's like a German can, and it's made of, like, tin. I don't know what they make. It gets excited. I don't know. It's a dumb hobby steel can of Hootie pool, and you come home with that. She's not going to Be upset. No.

[Brett]

Because that's a Cincinnati beer.

[John]

I don't care. They found a German one and that you would buy it then. That's what I'm saying.

[Brett]

Hinger.

[John]

You're already looking. Oh boy. No, you can't. Are you not allowed to bring home any cans in new cans? What if you find new cans?

[Brett]

If I found a really old one there.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Maybe.

[John]

Yeah. See. Have you discussed this? That's your divorce. She knows you're not going to go boning ladies. The German ladies aren't after an Andy Reed clone. You'll be fine. And besides your mouth will be full most of the time. You're. You're over with German. You get strudel and sausages and. But your friend's mouth will be full too of Eva Braun puss. And it's going to be constant. Are you guys going to do the middle of the. The trip misery of Auschwitz and stuff. It's inevitable in Germany that you take that one day to just go be depressed. It has to be right. Yeah.

[Brady]

I would think.

[Brett]

Nothing's been planned while you're there.

[Jamie Lissow]

How do you say.

[John]

Well isn't it like anti humanitarian to skip Auschwitz when you're in Germany? Yeah. We didn't see it.

[Brett]

I've been twice and I haven't.

[John]

You haven't gone to that?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

How do you dodge it?

[Brett]

Well isn't Frank's house there too Times. Yeah. Or Helen Keller motorcycle trip. So.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So you were cycling most of the day. You weren't really the stops that we were in or in the Alps area. So I don't think they didn't keep.

[John]

The Jews up there. They kept the von Trapp family. So you guys were just retracing the family in Austria the walk. We did. But Austria and Germany like if you're in Germany like Germany.

[Brett]

It'd be a couple hours trip maybe not necessarily.

[Brady]

It's in Poland.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know how.

[John]

Well yeah. Crack out and Paul. Yeah. So you got a couple of. You could. You're getting over to some of the WW2 stuff. You have to. But you it's going to Japan and not checking out Hiroshima. You gotta. So you'll have drink fest, doodles, plow some broads. You guys set your life see a couple of castles. Yeah. My guess is most of the pictures are gonna have tourist walks. You'll be at castles or you'll be at maybe Nuremberg. Yeah. You'll be in a couple of cool places. Send those home to the ladies. But what you're not sending Home.

[Brett]

We might check that out.

[John]

Is Dustin. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, you have to. It's a. It's that weird thing that happens to tourists when they go to places. We're like, oh, we should probably see that while we're here. And then you go do. When I was in Australia, I went over to an Aborigine village and sat through an hour long presentation of how horribly those people were treated. And then we threw boomerangs in their yard. It was weird. All right, everybody sit down. And here's the history of the Aborigine. Strong, powerful people living on that continent for a long time. And then these prisoners showed up from England and just beat them back into every bad thing that could happen. They did. The Native Americans. You got nothing on the Aborigines. They took a page out of that and doubled it. And then at the end they're like, anybody have any questions? How do you guys sleep at night? We don't. Not very well. All right, let's go into the back and we'll do didgeridoos and throw boomerangs at targets. And we did for like an hour. And it kind of erased all of it by the end. You're just having the time of your life. Took a huge, like, gondola ride from the top of a mountain, which was beautiful, over this strange forest to the ocean, to the Aboriginal Historical Museum. Oh, gorgeous. The whole ride in, like, it's the most beautiful place on the planet. And there's that little building we're gonna go to. I wonder if they're gonna teach us. And we just thought it'd be like, here's what they eat and here's what happened. We were up at their village and it was. The cab drivers weren't wrong. Hey, you're up on that Ebo village. Hold your breath like, why ain't no wash. It's a disgusting giggle of people like, oh, all right. And I get up there, I'm like, what a terrible racist. Then you get out of the cab, you're like, oh, Jesus Christ. But he's not a liar. They smell horrible up here. Then you go and you get a scone and then you hop on your gondola and you go for like a five mile ride from the top of this mountain over a rainforest all the way down to the ocean. Gorgeous. And then you're taught on how this used to be Aboriginal land. And they pushed them back into the riverbeds and opened the dams, like, what? Yeah, that was the plan. They would send them to flood plains without them knowing. Because they dammed up a river and said, all of this fertile land is yours. And the Aborigines be like, wow, this is the best thing Whitey's ever done to us. Thank you. And they'd set up shop, and they're like, all right, flood them. When they had their houses built, everything was ready, right? We got our new village. I think we're ready to go. They opened the dams and flooded the floodplains. Tried to kill him that way. Wow. And then they're like, he wants to buy a boomerang. You like to learn how they hunt? Good Lord, no. There's a few of them dressed up in, like, cloth diapers. And, like, they got stuff on their skin and some weird piercings.

[Brett]

Put that sink on.

[John]

And they just stand there. And now they've got Australian accents, too. You throw on that wrong mite, and you're standing there with this gun. Like, how come you guys don't throw these at the people, like the guides? I can't. Don't do that. Everything's fine. Like, don't you want to kill all the white people that are here right now? Throw the boomerang, mate. And then the dude would chuck it had to be 300 yards. What? And there's, like, a fake deer out in the middle of a field. Head comes off. It's unreal how this dude could chuck a boomerang. And I threw it, and I could make it come back, but I couldn't hit anything. Those boomerangs were designed to clunk stuff in the head and kill it or at least incapacitate it. And then these beasts would go run after it and strangle it to death with their bare hands. And whitey had the nerve to build a thing going. Remember how great you used to be? Here's a video of what you used to be versus what you are now. Now go teach white people how to use weapons. And they do. And Americans, well, this is fun. They had a one that was, like, a straw man. And you could chuck your boomerang at that. And I noticed he was probably within, like, a hundred feet. He was the closest one. But when these Aborigines got hold of that boomerang.

[Brett]

Wizards.

[John]

And they could do it with, like, bones. They used, like, bones of animals. Just chuck one of those and start flipping back. Kills with boom. Head blows up. It's like chucking rocks. They were amazing. But you know what I didn't do? Go to that with, like, six or seven male friends. Bone the Aborigines. Come Back with lies. Are you worried about one of your friends?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

Causing trouble, stirring it up?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

Ah, you should be. Are they all like you? Where none of them are threats to society in any sort of way?

[Brett]

Yeah. None of them are threats.

[John]

Not saying murder. You know what I'm talking.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

No money. Yep. Overseas. It's a bad combination.

[Brady]

This guy tried the. The couples thing too. Try to tried that at Lake Powell. Five couples on a houseboat for a week. I brought my own boat and first night I stayed on my own.

[John]

You stay in your own boat and you think about leaving because it's gonna be a fight. Dudes don't fight on trips together. But when you get home, there's gonna be a problem.

[Brady]

Ronnie sending Brady away on the trip to start scouting for when the big C happens, right?

[John]

Yeah. Well, she's got to start planning for the future as well. I mean, for sure.

[Brett]

Make a wish, right?

[John]

Yeah. You get to make a wish to not be with your family for five days in Germany and to watch your other friends entire. Fortunes of 60 year old men start thinking about having to stay at work until they're 85 because this trip is a bad idea. Somebody needs to bring a wife life and ruin this to keep an eye on everybody because otherwise something bad's gonna happen. This is a bad plan. Maybe for a weekend. A couple dudes up there in Flagstaff golfing. No worries.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's a little bit longer than a weekend.

[John]

And it's also in Germany with a single dude.

[Jamie Lissow]

Oh.

[John]

No. It's a bachelor party. It's trouble. Brett, you and I can't even do that. No, you and I are going out for three days together with a recently single, wealthy friend.

[Brett]

I mean, he's not married.

[Brady]

Not happening.

[Brett]

He's in a relationship, but he's not married.

[Brady]

So doesn't matter.

[John]

Yeah, what he said. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's bad fraternity. Well, good luck. So how funny is it going to be when one of these guys gets busted with some weed or cocaine that he's got Brady didn't know about. Have these guys on the front page of the papers, Political prisoners having to explain what they were doing over there and then why they don't follow laws. Would Ron even fight to get Brady back? That's a good question. At that point, if you became a political prisoner because you one dude had muled cocaine, you didn't know any of them. Are any of them dabble in the German powder? No mushrooms. Are they older dudes are big on that now. I don't know any of them. Listen to Joe Rogan.

[Brett]

Don't know.

[John]

All right? You better start getting to know these guys because somebody's going to have coke in his ass and you're going to get in trouble for it.

[Brett]

I'll say no muling.

[John]

Just ask simple questions and. Hey, did you guys hear Joe Rogan this morning? Who's Joe Rogan? That guy's good. You're safe. He's not going to have any ayahuasca with them. The other ones, you just start get to know these dudes, you're trusting they're all going to be the same as they were in college. And that's even worse.

[Brady]

It's going to be Brady Griner over there. He's going to be right in prison.

[Katie]

Somebody put this in my bed.

[Brett]

It's all in my bag.

[Katie]

I don't even know what Hui husa is. It's not mine.

[Brett]

Come on, burger meister.

[John]

Of course it's not yours. We looked you up on the Internet. You work with the Jordan? Yep.

[Brett]

Do you work with home?

[John]

Good luck. You should call Brittney Griner and get some tips or go over there dressed as Andy Reid, try to fool some folks into some free food. Because I think maybe that way.

[Brady]

That's brilliant.

[John]

That's not a bad idea. If you troll around in Kansas City Chiefs gear the whole time.

[Brett]

I'll bring the hat.

[John]

Yeah, bring the hat. And just walk around with the glasses and the hat on him. Can you believe it?

[Brett]

He's wearing the hat.

[John]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's me. I'm Andy Reid. I'm on super bowl champions.

[John]

Oh, we saw you in Berlin last year. Some fantastic big fat man. Yeah, that's me.

[Katie]

How about some free brats for the.

[John]

Trouble your heart's gonna stop and everybody else getting. I worry so much. This. This lack of questioning. Things just.

[Brady]

Well, it's every day, though.

[John]

I know when's eventually gonna get them killed.

[Brady]

A bunch of 60 year old dudes broing it up like they were in college.

[John]

Yeah. And they're. That's. And they're all remembering their college days. Were any of the guys in the fraternity poon hounds that you're going with? Yes. Yep. Yep. You're. And to relive that.

[Brett]

You know what I think about one guy going? Yeah, Scummy Dick Douglas it is. Yes.

[John]

Scummy Dick Douglas is going. That's his nickname. Do you think Scummy Dick's not going to try to get in the time machine and relive some you guys make me feel like I'm young again. How many. What are we using here? Marks? Does it cost for a prostitute? €200? I'll blow your friend, scummy dick. €200? I think that's like, all right.

[Katie]

It's just like being back in Ohio. Scummy Dick Douglas got a blow job from a guy last night for money.

[John]

Yeah. You bring in Scummy Dick Douglas? You did not think about this. You don't bring a man Nicknames Scummy Dick. Who'd the five of us go sans wives? Why? Why don't you bring your wives? Why would we do that? Why don't you bring your wives?

[Brett]

It's guys trip.

[John]

I know.

[Brady]

Leave the old ball and chain at home.

[John]

You're too pure. You're not thinking like the other Scummy Dicks involved in your party.

[Brett]

Look, if things start going south, I'm.

[John]

Out of there, right? You're gonna be the one. You're gonna be the one that gets in trouble. Oh, God. All right, so starting. That's in September. So we got cancer all summer long. We got a plan for that. And then you're not gonna come back from Germany for a year. And then somebody's wife is gonna kill all of you. Meeting you at the airport, it's gonna be even worse.

[Brady]

It's gonna be great radio, though.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, it's gonna be amazing radio. And Scummy Dick's asking Brady, like, do you have any doctors that can get rid of bumps? I can't tell her. And I've got. Oh, that whore. Why didn't you stop me, Brady? Why did you?

[Katie]

You were, like, big on wanting to pay her.

[John]

Idiot. Why didn't we bring our wives? Where were you, Brady? Where were you?

[Katie]

I thought it'd be a fun boy trip.

[John]

This is bad.

[Brady]

Can you run to Mexico real quick, pick me up some penicillin?

[John]

You're the closest one to Mexico. I live in South Carolina now. But you gotta get over to Mexico and get me the stuff, all right?

[Brett]

Before we get home.

[John]

God dang it. Brady's down there getting stem cells and all sorts of stuff for Scummy Dick. She can't know, man. She was already all over my ass for doing this trip in the first place. Wasn't for you going. We weren't allowed. You might be the. That might be the only reason you're invited. Brady's fun wives trust him.

[Brett]

Yeah, there's something about this.

[Katie]

How come we all can't go?

[John]

It's a guy's trip in Germany. You know, it's what six year olds do. We're just gonna have some wine. You saw a hangover?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

The dentist had to lie and say they went on a wine trip. Dudes can't do trips like this. Anyway, good luck. Why are we the logical ones planning time? Yeah, you had to surprise the wives. You know what we decided to do? Get you guys over there too. Sounds awful in theory. Dragging them along, but it's gonna save most of those dudes half of their wealth.

[Brady]

It is the hangover. They're gonna be saying they're on wine tours.

[John]

They're gonna be in the red light this time. Yep. The whole time we went over to.

[Katie]

Auschwitz today, it was really a.

[John]

A.

[Brett]

It's a nice brothel over there.

[Katie]

Unbelievable sights. And we're all real down right now.

[Dale]

Brady.

[John]

She's got two buttholes. I don't know.

[Katie]

He's kidding.

[John]

Look at the rosebuds. Dig a nice ass rosebud. Asshole wants to hold it out.

[Brett]

I ran into my friend till.

[Katie]

This is pretty great. Anyway, we're mourning the Holocaust and we're gonna go grab some schnauzer beaters or.

[Brett]

Whatever they call schnauzer.

[John]

Some terrible German food. All right, well, you were warned. You'll be fine. But tell your friends I hope that they're willing to. I hope they all have prenups for my five days. They're not gonna.

[Brady]

What's the fanduel on? At least one divorce?

[John]

100%. Oh. It doesn't even pay even money. A fanduel wouldn't even take the bet. Like, of course there's gonna be at least one two. Now we're starting to talk a couple, like plus 200. But it's still pretty low odds. Three is not a lot. A one murder. One murder is as possible as one divorce. Scummy Dick Douglas on a dude's trip overseas. What are you doing? Ugh. Anyway, Brett. Logical. Brett, tell me what's on the board of Musical Treats.

[Brady]

All right.

[John]

My head. I already took that hit from bus yesterday, and now I spend all morning shaking my head. I've got a double concussion.

[Brady]

Wake up sign brought to you by Action Ride Shop now with two locations. The brand new location right there on power Road and McDowell. Make sure you cruise on over there. Check out the brand new store. It is the. The soft opening right now. The big grand opening going on February 22nd, where they're gonna have tons of stuff going on, including giving away a brand new bike. So check out Action Ride Shop at both locations. Gilbert Road and Southern and Power and McDowell. Or just go check them out [e-mail]. all right, we got trapped in there. Hate Breed. Van Halen, Pantera Parkway Drive for our Australian discussion, Static X, Van Halen, Kill Switch. Van Halen. Somebody get me a doctor for Brady. Only one to play Ramstein's.

[John]

Yeah, there's only one coming up and one of your one. And you're going to be the jackass that goes. All right, check it out, because they're not going to know this song. You're going to introduce them to Rammstein, and they're going to be singing that the whole time. Having the time of your lives until one of the dudes drags three fat Brunhildas back to the hotel. Come on, guys, back me up. Is Scummy Dick the single one? Carry ten steins, we're bombed. Is Scummy Dick the single one?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

He will be.

[John]

He will be. When it's. He will be this time next year. Yeah, there's no question. What? The song where Ramstein's off of Brady's neck News. It's about cats. So a big cat song. Big favorite among the Germans as they love their cats. Love feline. Love it in a huge way. All right, this is your trip, Brady. Enjoy it. My stomach hurts. It's 98 KUPD. It's out of control now.

[Dale]

Morning sickness.

[John]

98. Getting emails like crazy. This one guy says, lay off a Brady and his friend's trip to Germany. I wish I could go on that trip. It's killing me that I'm not going, Brady. I go. I'll be friendly with your buddies. I'm an awesome guide, and I'll teach you proper ways to do the Elon Musk salute. While we're over there, please take me with you. We'll call it Schindler's Bucket List. Signed, Bren Burt Brudenell from the Phoenix Open. Oh, he'd love to go with you, Brady. The kid from the Phoenix Open. Dying to get in on your trip to Germany. Brendbert, you're in. Take Brenbert over there to Munich with you.

[Brett]

He might already be over there.

[John]

Oh, he's probably gonna want to move there soon. Found out he's that racist kid that was at the Phoenix Open. What a name brand Burt Brudenell.

[Brady]

He lives up to the family name brand Burt.

[John]

And there's no mistaking that again. It goes back to Paul Manchaka Jr. When he pooped on nurses pretending to be mentally retarded. And Hired them to come to his house, and he would poop on them because it would give him. And then he'd poop himself. They'd come clean him, and he'd get sexual arousal out of them. Wiping his bottom. He was faking it. And when he got arrested, the person I felt most sorry for was Paul Manchaka Senior, who had to go to work the next day without anybody wandering. Everyone already knew, no question that Mr. Brudenell's dad went to work and said, didn't you have a son named Brand Burt? Yeah, that was my boy. See, I saw him on the news last night. What are the odds of a second Brand Burt Brudenell causing all that ruckus? Yeah, that was my boy. Not real happy with him. He's in trouble, I tell you. So it was your Brand Burger. That's what I love when people name their kids something stupid and they screw up. It's forever. And you're known. You're the parents who knew. You've raised a dick, and now it's obvious. And he made it. He made your. Your name forever. Vibe, Brant, Burt Brent. We'll name him Brand Bird. A grand name for a grand young man. He's throwing Nazi salutes out and telling people they need their heads cut off for being Mexican. There's no way people won't know it's our Brand Bert. Brand Bert. It's actually Brandt Bert. It's even worse.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

So identifiable. But yeah, you can take him to Germany with you, Brady, and drop him off. Brett, what's the Over. Under that one of these guys goes over there to the. The boozy festival that Brady's gonna go on and slaps out an Elon salute. Gets. Gets. There'll be a photo of that. That.

[Brady]

That's even money that's coming. That's even money Somebody's gonna be joking about it.

[Katie]

Scummy Dick.

[John]

Stop doing that. Oh, the little German sirens come by.

[Brett]

Were the things that people are doing on Tick Tock and Instagram back at visiting?

[John]

Well, they were getting mad that people were like.

[Brett]

Were they planking?

[John]

Well, there was some planking at the. At Auschwitz. And then there was the girl who was doing the. The filtered selfies of her smiling.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Like she was having way too much fun at Auschwitz and, like, taking selfies. Look at me. Pictures at Auschwitz. Yeah. You, Brent, Bert Brudenell, and Scummy Dick Douglas are gonna be Brandt Bert. You get a kid with a name like that right now, rethink it. Change it. Go back to the olden days. Brandt, Bert Brudenella. What does that guy's dad do? We need to find out because this kid's 19, so his dad's probably in his mid-40s. Primal life. Feeling pretty good about everything. About to be an empty nester. Raised a Nazi. Got him some tickets to the Phoenix open and then he ruined the entire family.

[Brett]

The hedge fund he's looking over.

[John]

Yeah, Rollin.

[Brady]

I told you Sprite and graham crackers would have been the way to go, dear.

[John]

You know what phrase has never been said? No, that was a different brand. Bert, it's you, man. Hey, Mr. Brudenell, I just a couple questions. I saw your name on the news last night. You have a son named Brantford. That's a different Branford bird now. It wasn't me. I didn't raise a Nazi. Or. Brantford's dad and mom have been divorced for a long time. And you're right, it was all about. Should have stabbed it out. Dad's not happy with it. Mom raised a little Nazi with her stepfather.

[Katie]

That's cute.

[John]

Brandtbert. A name that we should. We'll put him in there with Nathan Sutherland and Paul Manchaka Jr. Brandt, Bert Brudenell. Welcome to the Zeitgeist. That is Holmer's Morning Signal.

[Brady]

Jonathan wants to know if your trip is sponsored by Bluechew.

[John]

Oh, there's going to be blue pills in one of those bags loaded. Well, one of. One of the dudes is going to bring. I'll just, you know, I was just joking. And then the next thing you know, oh, you're gonna get so many calls from. That's just bad. You're in trouble. I. I kind of want to go and not have, you know, I'm there with just binoculars and stuff to take the pictures of the Elon salutes. And then everybody drunk. Except Brady's got it. He's holding the stein all day. All his friends getting like a transvestite prostitute from Berlin. Very angular feature. Very angular features. Lantern jaw on that girl. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. Oh, yeah, I almost said it again. It's not sponsorship. Still available. It's the Brady Report, everybody. Brady Report.

[Brett]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John]

By the by, how's our sales staff dropping the ball on this one?

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Brady]

They always complain when we're full. I could have sold that.

[Dale]

No room for this.

[Brett]

I heard, too. Yeah.

[John]

Come on. It's the number one show in the city. It's the only one that gets anything done.

[Brady]

They're working from home today, so, you.

[John]

Know, always complaining about not being able to sponsor Franken and his buddies over there because they don't. They're not local, can't do sponsorships on their show. Well, here you go. Why isn't Susan driving the hammer down on the sales staff to get that done?

[Brady]

I don't know. Good question.

[Brett]

Happy World Radio Day.

[John]

It's like Brady, it's the last one. Like ham radio.

[Brett]

It started in 2012.

[John]

Oh, radio executive idea. Maybe if we got a day people would remember us since we've the Bob's. Yeah. Since we've destroyed the industry from top to bottom with very few rare exceptions, maybe if we like presented ourselves as World Radio Day guys. People remember the greatness of radio.

[Brett]

There are over 15,000 radio stations in the US alone.

[John]

The question in a meeting I was. We were muted and I was sitting off camera. But the question I heard was how do we get people to start listening to a radio on the radio again? Stop creating sucky radio stations left and right in every market market that are the same as the other ones. It works in St. Louis. It'll work in 40 other markets. We call it the Woody Show.

[Brett]

A couple of basis fun facts. Recipes can't be trademarked, but some can be ruled trade secrets. Oh, like the formula for Dr. Pepper and KFC's 11 herbs and spices.

[John]

KFC's gotten away with that one. I haven't given up that ever. And people say they've figured it out. And yeah, KFC's like, nope, you missed by two.

[Brett]

Grover Cleveland is the only president who was an executioner. When he was the sheriff Erie of Erie County, N.Y. about a decade before he became president, he personally executed two criminals.

[John]

That's not true, Brady. There were other presidents who executed people. Well, I guess she wasn't president, but she was getting it done for me. Just pointing it out there. Grover has company. That's all I'm saying. Have fun in Germany. Can I come?

[Brett]

Yeah, sure.

[John]

Can I come? How many times you're going to hear that out there in Germany? How do you say that in German? Because your friends coming and he's going to have to learn how to say that. Lieberman, Ash Kumman. Have fun.

[Brett]

Michael Jackson really wanted to play Spider man in a movie, but he knew he'd never get cast. So in the 90s he actually tried to buy Marvel comics baggy ass suit.

[John]

They wouldn't have a suit tight enough to fit him.

[Katie]

I want to be Spider Man.

[John]

Why you get into little small creases.

[Katie]

And crevices and like little kids, they have small cracks. I like to be inside of them like a spider.

[Brett]

By the way, happy birthday, Prince. Michael Jackson Jr's 28 today.

[John]

It's Prince's birthday today. Oh.

[Dale]

Man, I didn't.

[John]

Did we, Freddie? You didn't have to. You didn't have to wish me happy birthday. By the way. Prince Jackson here, not Michael, has clearly the relation.

[Brady]

Couldn't tell the difference, right?

[John]

Clearly.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

It's my birthday. I'm 28 years old today and still can't shed that childlike, innocent voice my father gave me through DNA. Little me I'm stamping with the man in the mirror. Yeah, it's pretty great being Jackson's son. I do miss Daddy though, and might.

[Dick Toledo]

Have gone a little too far with the DNA.

[John]

What are you talking.

[Katie]

Hey, you guys, I know it's gonna be hard to tell us apart, but happy birthday. It's Michael.

[John]

It's nearly impossible. Phone. He's been dead for 10 years. Phone rings and I say, he, he Jackson residents. You're like, we'd like to speak to. To your father's young man. I'm a grown man named Prince. I'm not. I'm not Michael.

[Dale]

I'm not.

[John]

I'm a grown up. I'm not blanket.

[Brett]

Let's hear old Ben.

[John]

Ben.

[Jamie Lissow]

Beautiful.

[Katie]

It's almost like I'm still alive. And then pass through the genes that you know, like Brand Berg, Brand Burke and his daddy. It's impossible to. To separate the two of us and.

[John]

Think about maybe starting my own musical career with all the, you know, now that I'm 28 and I can, I can start using some of daddy's money. I'll build a studio.

[Brett]

You want to be starting something?

[John]

You'd like to be starting something. Clearly it's in the jeans. You want to be starting something.

[Katie]

My God, you're amazing. It's just like I'm here. It's the same stuff.

[John]

A Cree ebony and. Or as Brady's going to say, oont ivory. Anyway, thanks for wishing me a happy birthday.

[Dale]

Unexpected.

[John]

Unexpected.

[Brett]

Bye.

[John]

By the way, learn this phrase. Brady Khan. Ich common nein. Ich bin kind racist. Ich come Ohio. Which is. Can I come? No, I'm not a racist. I'm from Ohio. You're gonna hear that through a wall at the Red Wolf Inn.

[Dick Toledo]

No, no, just download the Google Translate app on your phone, plug them all in.

[Brett]

The Wolfberg Lodge.

[John]

The Great Wolf Lodge.

[Brett]

Of Berlin.

[John]

The Great Wolf larch of Berlin. It's got a water slide. What?

[Dick Toledo]

A travel agent.

[John]

And a big giant room in the back that only certain people. Yes. Very hot. The Great Wolf Lodge.

[Brett]

The spaces have four star reviews.

[John]

Four stars. Everyone who lives alive loves it. Everyone who gets it, Everyone who understands the principle. The mission statement of the Great Wolf Lodge Munich can return. You'll come back if you guarantee it.

[Dick Toledo]

Or else.

[Brett]

But not for all the spacesuits Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin wore to the moon in 1969 were actually designed and manufactured by Playtex.

[John]

You. Somebody points out Prince probably thought dad was Spider man. With all the webs that got shot around the. Oh, gross. Thanks, Coleman Brown.

[Brett]

There's new research out there that says the perfect nap time is. The time to do it is 1:42pm in the afternoon.

[John]

That's right.

[Brett]

And the optimum length, 51 minutes. Meaning you wake up at 2:33. If the nap goes longer than that, around an hour and a half, it can do more harm than good.

[John]

What was this?

[Brett]

Momentum and energy. 142.

[John]

Okay.

[Brett]

And if it goes to two and a half hours, that's officially a full sleep session.

[John]

That's right. That's what I've been doing.

[Brett]

But for some people, even 51 minutes can be too long. One sleep expert advised that naps should be kept short 20 to 30 minutes.

[John]

Sleep experts have no idea. My new schedule is the way you need to be. Sleep when you're supposed to. When your body says to, don't force yourself to go to sleep at a certain time. When you sleep, go to sleep naturally. Don't go to bed because it's bedtime. You'll have a miserable night's sleep. Now I'm going to bed. I fall asleep when I fall asleep and I wake up when I wake up. I have emergency alarms, but they're not waking me anymore because they don't have to. I get two hours of sleep and a nap. Dead tired in the middle of the day, which is great. Wake up with no alarms and your life is a better world. You know who's had this figured out for a long time? The African American population. Yes, that's right. Go to sleep when you want. You wake up when you want.

[Dick Toledo]

And my son.

[John]

I'm not wrong, Brett. You wake up whenever you want and you just hey, I'll get to work when I get to work. And it's perfect.

[Brett]

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

[John]

That's right.

[Brett]

Here's four great Valentine's Day gifts. According to some experts. Watches the site expert says a Watch represents the gift of time. By gifting a watch you'd be promising your partner that you'll be present for them.

[John]

What if the watch stops?

[Brett]

Your marriage is over.

[John]

Watches. The. The. The thing that lets you know. It's not the gift of time. It's the gift of telling time. And nobody needs anymore. That's dumb.

[Brett]

It's the second one. The gift of chocolate can be traced back to the Mayans who viewed the main ingredient in chocolate as a heart opener.

[John]

Huh?

[Brett]

The cocoa in the chocolate. The main ingredient.

[John]

Why do you want your heart open.

[Brett]

As a heart opener? It opens your heart more.

[John]

John.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John]

It's not real. That doesn't actually happen.

[Dick Toledo]

Watch all market does too.

[John]

No. Your heart doesn't. It has nothing to do with it. It's a brain.

[Dick Toledo]

The Grinch was real.

[John]

The Grinch may have been real.

[Brett]

Scarves is number three. They represent a strong spiritual connection tying.

[John]

Her to the bedpost.

[Brady]

What twink wrote this?

[Brett]

Kitchen. Kitchenware number four.

[John]

Now we're talking about the backlash against presence.

[Brett]

Which are seen as functional or boring. Can let your partner know that you want to nourish each other's souls and create something together.

[Brady]

Like I said.

[John]

Thank you.

[Brett]

What they're saying not to get is lingerie.

[John]

A woman wrote this? Yeah. Leave us alone. We'll even take forks and spoons before we want you to touch us.

[Brett]

2. Alcohol. There's a bottle that's.

[John]

That isn't very. That's kind of a cruddy gift. Gift. That's something you bring to somebody's house for a party. You don't give it to a woman for. You got to get.

[Brett]

Third one is bath salts.

[John]

The drugs.

[Brett]

Salt is a cleanser and a purifier. So the gift of bath salts would help rid the receiver any negative negativity in the relationship.

[John]

But that's a bad.

[Brett]

But it can be toxic. You're telling your partner they need to.

[John]

So lingerie. Nudity in a bathtub. They're like don't do that. Give me some pots. Give me some forks and knives. I'll feed your fat ass.

[Brady]

There's a Dyson.

[John]

Yeah. Vacuum. Whatever. Just keep. Keep your hands off of me. This is the. The survey of 45 plus year old women who are all basically saying Enough already.

[Brady]

Where'd they hold this survey at Postinos?

[John]

Is there a couple glasses where they're only done Pino.

[Katie]

I'd rather have forked and knives than have that guy touch me anymore. Why does he hate us so much?

[Brett]

There's a Vietnamese place In Australia that hands out custom R rated fortune cookies. Customers love it. So they recently ordered a new batch for Valentine's Day. But the fortune cookie company made a big mistake. They sent the package to the wrong restaurants. Oh, other restaurants got them that normally send just regular fortune cookies. People who got their fortunes were quite upset. A couple of the places.

[John]

What the.

[Brett]

Fortunes say, One said, let's see, you're capable of great things, but all you do is look at your phone all day. You won't be that great. Sorry, that's one. But then the other one says, this year, the year the snake bears good fortune, your divorce is coming soon. Then it ended by saying their spouse is only married. Only married you for money, you ugly C word.

[John]

Nice. Wow. I need to get a job writing at this place.

[Brett]

And people at that restaurant love it. I mean, looking at those.

[John]

Oh, I'd be incredible as the awful. Not so much a fortune is more of an assessment of you Cookie.

[Dick Toledo]

Look at yourself.

[John]

Look at yourself in the mirror. Why must you continue to lie to yourself?

[Brett]

For the first time in 42 years, America's best selling vehicle is not the Ford F150 42 years straight.

[John]

This year, the new number one.

[Brett]

The new number one, just a Toyota RAV4.

[John]

RAV4 is the number one selling car in the world.

[Brett]

475, 000 units of the RAV4. Man, there F150 did 461, 000, but.

[John]

China and stuff, that's what, that's who gets it off on that worldwide number, right? Oh yeah.

[Brett]

And number three is the Honda CRV. Number four, Tesla Model Y.

[John]

They're everywhere.

[Brett]

Number five, the Chevy Silverado 1500.

[John]

So the F150s out of the top five. It's been number one for 50 years.

[Brett]

F150 is number two.

[John]

Oh, I didn't hear that. Okay, I thought you're just rattling them off. It has a different name coming in.

[Brett]

At the 18, 19 and 20.

[John]

This is the Lobo or something like that. Yeah.

[Brett]

Number 18, 19 and 20, Subaru Crosstech. Subaru Forester, Subaru Outback.

[John]

Lesbians are making their move. They're mobilizing worldwide.

[Dick Toledo]

You still trying to justify your purchase 25 years ago?

[Brett]

No.

[Katie]

Very popular worldwide vehicle. And evidently the scissor dance is taking over.

[John]

India did the same thing with that.

[Dick Toledo]

Honda car you had with the stadium seats.

[John]

Oh, that was the worst one you bought. Bought? It was Ronnie's, it was yours was not mine.

[Dick Toledo]

Your selling point to us was that you wash it out with a hose.

[Brett]

She Wanted that car, not me.

[John]

And you bought it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Your name was on.

[Brady]

Well, if it was her car, would you drive them?

[Brett]

Avalanche.

[John]

Yeah, the Avalanche. But he took that car to work every once in a while. Oh, Ronnie was embarrassed lunching at the one time. We would if she was.

[Brett]

She misses that car.

[John]

She does not miss that car. The back seat was 2ft higher than the front seat. It was stadium seating. It was the dumbest car I've ever been in a car in my life. You're looking over.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean you're elevated anyway.

[John]

Over Brady's head.

[Dick Toledo]

Sitting behind him here.

[John]

Like I was struggling to see the screen from the back seat. Anyway, it was the dumbest selling. And then the hole inside was rubber.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Katie]

You can hose it all out.

[John]

Why would you do that? What's going on in here? O.J. that you need to hose heavy Oktoberfest celebration. Because you're puking all over the place. But aren't you more worried about why you'd need to hose your car out on a regular basis than that? You can. Homeburg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

Hear the words you say sometimes.

[John]

I mean, who talks like that? 98. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dale]

What was it?

[John]

It was a.

[Brett]

The toaster.

[John]

What was it called? What was that car? It was a Honda, wasn't it?

[Brett]

Element.

[John]

Element.

[Dick Toledo]

Element, that's it.

[John]

That was horrible. Bryce made some moves. He's had some cars. And the element was yours. You went that day. Did you sign that paper? Did you pay for that car?

[Brett]

I can't remember.

[John]

I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that. Did she just roll up one day and say got a new car, that's what she wants. But that. Oh, here we go.

[Brady]

This guy.

[Brett]

We had some good times in that car.

[John]

I'm sure you did the spring cleaning. Oh, driving open her up to and fro the raising canes. Yeah. At the car wash. And the sauce moto would spill and you could hose it all out.

[Katie]

Look at all that white sauce all over the seats. We're dirty. Get that ranch dressing out of here with a hose.

[Brett]

Police were dispatched to a home on Sunday night in Fort Pierce, Florida. There was a disturbance going on in the house involving 52 year old, a 52 year old man and a 50 year old woman, Julissa Negron. The man said they got into an argument. They had been drinking some alcohol, but she was upset at some of the Instagram he was following.

[John]

Oh, she's thumbing through his gram.

[Brett]

I guess so. And that pissed her off so much she grabbed an item to beat him with it. And it was a dildo. Clubbed him over the head a couple of times with it.

[Dick Toledo]

What brings you to the ER today?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

Well, my wife Julissa and I was drinking and she beat me about the face and head with a. A dildo.

[Brady]

She beat me with King Dog.

[John]

Yeah, I get king donged all over the house. Can we ask why? I'm following a lot of new AI ladies, and she wasn't sure if they was real or not.

[Brett]

So describe Julissa Negron.

[John]

It'll surprise you. But I think she's fat and really, really white.

[Dick Toledo]

Julissa.

[Brady]

I might go with that one. It's a trick question.

[John]

Yeah, it's a trick question.

[Brett]

Fred says she's Puerto Rican.

[John]

Oh, she's Puerto Rican. Negron. Negron. Yeah, I guess maybe that's true.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought that might have been a married name.

[Brady]

Man, these elements are ugly.

[John]

Oh, that's the worst car in the world, Brady. Couldn't wait to show us that thing. Got it, drove it to work the next day.

[Brett]

Got the two tone silver, the God.

[Katie]

Damn Ronnie, a new bucket.

[John]

Oh, yeah? How's that? What'd you get?

[Katie]

It's out in the parking lot. You want to go see it?

[Dick Toledo]

Take us to lunch in it, Brady.

[John]

Where is it? Next to that lunchbox.

[Katie]

No, that's it. That's the car. It's sweet.

[Brett]

It is sweet.

[Katie]

It's got a hosable interior and a raised back seat.

[John]

Oh, it was so awful looking.

[Brady]

Look at that. There's the stadium seat.

[John]

Dumbest thing I've ever seen.

[Brady]

So it had suicide doors on the back?

[John]

Yeah, it swung back. Yeah. And I think Brady, much like when he bought that Outback with two sunroofs, had a big smile, thinking we'd all be impressed. And when he started making fun of it, he realized the error in his ways and just says, it's Ronnie's car.

[Dick Toledo]

I didn't realize the seats all the way laid back.

[John]

They had to. Yeah.

[Brett]

You have two little cots there.

[John]

Amount of hosing you were gonna do in there?

[Brett]

Camping, you know, we did a lot of camping.

[John]

Look at the ground. Looks like a garage floor.

[Brett]

Flip those side seats up.

[John]

Oh, couldn't wait to do that.

[Dick Toledo]

It does look like an enameled floor.

[Brett]

So handy, Brett.

[John]

And he got rid of it in three weeks because the ridicule was too mighty.

[Dick Toledo]

We didn't know it held a mope.

[John]

You can park up. You can park a real vehicle in it.

[Brett]

We had it longer than three weeks.

[John]

Not by choice. You wanted it out in 21st over a year. Had to pay down that note. I don't know about that.

[Katie]

Yeah, we're stuck with it for a little while. Wow.

[John]

It's great for drive ins and living in it.

[Katie]

The seats roll all the way down into beds because they assume you don't have a home.

[Brett]

Why would you need an rv Upset I didn't do what? What they're showing those pictures. Flip everything up. I wish you.

[John]

Oh yeah. You wish you'd have known that feature. Cuz that's functional. To have everything.

[Brett]

The manual. I didn't have to.

[John]

Why would you have ever wanted to?

[Brett]

Maybe we did put a dress, something.

[John]

You had an Avalanche. Why would you use that as the pickup?

[Brett]

Better gas mileage.

[John]

Oh my God. None of this was because of good decision making.

[Brett]

More masculine in that you just like.

[Dick Toledo]

You like those Transformer cars. Because the Avalanche you could take down.

[Brett]

The back or something.

[John]

Right? For a little while he was duped by terrible ideas and vehicles as the new thing. Thing like you're got a toaster in it. That's dumb. They're never going to use that toaster.

[Dick Toledo]

They were LEGO vehicles.

[John]

Yeah, the Lego, the one he bought that was all Legos. Yeah. This thing's pretty sweet. Like it's Lego. You have a LEGO car and you.

[Brett]

Replace this panel for me.

[John]

You replaced the LEGO car with an actual steel version of it. And it was much better.

[Brady]

What was the LEGO car?

[John]

An Avalanche.

[Brett]

The first Avalanche.

[John]

They were made of Lego. A lot of everything on it was a plastic chunk.

[Katie]

And you can take them off and wash them in your house.

[John]

Like why do you want to take your car apart so bad? Why is the selling feature of your vehicle. More work.

[Katie]

You can hose the inside off.

[John]

What's going on at your place that the cars have so much on them you have to disassemble them.

[Dick Toledo]

Not snowed by horsepower.

[John]

No, none of that size or anything like that. Got a straight four.

[Katie]

That's what they're calling it.

[John]

I don't even know what that is.

[Brett]

But it's new tech at Honda. It had over 100 horsepower.

[John]

Yeah. And then the best thing about that car that had the stadium back seats. The reason it had stadium back seats as it turns out, is so the back people in the back seat could also see the engine fire. Ah. All right, here we go.

[Brett]

Here's a band. Maybe we should have the U fest and put them on the list.

[John]

Okay.

[Brett]

It's quite entertaining.

[John]

It's a video of a part of one of those. Oh. Guy just whipping a girl on stage. And, I mean, he's not fooling around. She's pretty hot.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Listen to the miserable music they're playing. That's a live stage show. Is she bleeding or is that just a.

[Dick Toledo]

No, that's a rose on her.

[John]

Oh, it's a tattoo. No.

[Dick Toledo]

On her skirt.

[John]

Oh, it is this. That was a ripped open part of her skirt.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John]

She seemingly has a. Maybe there's some padding under there.

[Dick Toledo]

Got some good hip action.

[John]

Yeah. Got a little Shakira thing going on. Every time she gets whipped. That guy's direct. Hitting that same spot over and over.

[Dick Toledo]

I like the Darkness's new album.

[John]

Yeah, she's pretty good. Justin's on to something here.

[Brett]

The next one's Jaylen Herz walking off.

[John]

The field of the Super Bowl. No, that's a. I don't think so.

[Dick Toledo]

Against the Commanders.

[John]

Against the Washington. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody. They go through that little tunnel.

[Brett]

Oh.

[John]

The whole gate lets loose and all the fans fall out.

[Brett]

Look at the size.

[John]

Jaylen just starts moving the guy around, picks him up. Would be a spinal injury.

[Brett]

Get in for a hug.

[John]

A. Get in here. My spine, Jaylen. My spine. It's all right. You're going to be all right. Well, that's dangerous. You could sue all of the Washington Commanders.

[Brett]

The last one's a new one to the list. I don't know what's happening here.

[John]

Disease.

[Brett]

I think it's a burn or.

[John]

I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

There's a lot going on. Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, my sweet Christ. What disease is that? He looks like a piece of popcorn with teeth. Oh, my God. What's mom saying? Why is there just this monster music going on? That lady's trying to talk about her.

[Brett]

His name is Zay.

[John]

Zade is 21 years old. He goes to school. He has friends. He can speak and hear very well, walk on his own. His soul and mind are what's noteworthy. Who's getting to know him, to know he's got a good soul? I'm just running the other way, and that comes at me. That's a monster.

[Dick Toledo]

There's one I hadn't heard. I would rather be friends with him than with these Edge lords in the comments.

[John]

Not friends with that at all. I dodged that dude like the plague. I'm not catching that.

[Dick Toledo]

Accident happened when he was a little baby, around three years old. So he has been like this his whole life.

[John]

That made his teeth on the outside. That's not an accident, apparently. It says, considering his situation, he's a very independent person. He better be. He's not going to be a group player anytime soon. Yikes.

[Dick Toledo]

He's got one of those Sean Rockefeller phones.

[John]

What kind of accident makes your teeth go to the outside?

[Brett]

It is wild.

[John]

How do your teeth end up outside of your face? What accident is that? How does that happen? That's not an accident.

[Brett]

And there's no possibility for a retainer at one particular time.

[John]

You couldn't at least buy that guy braces. It's just not worth it, Sean. It's too expensive. What? What? I mean, Zayd, Sean's our guy.

[Dick Toledo]

Given all your other treatments, we had to make a choice.

[Katie]

Uh, no.

[John]

I'm gonna come fake eyeballs.

[Katie]

No, we're not gonna spend a lot on you. You're not worth the trouble. There's no ROI here.

[John]

I'm a little sobriety. My teeth are on the outside.

[Katie]

You're good. Stop smiling.

[John]

I'm not. I was outside.

[Katie]

It was an accident. And then his teeth shot out of his face and landed on the front.

[John]

Of his face instead.

[Brett]

You know what we're gonna name him? Zade.

[Dick Toledo]

Here's the accident. A candle fell on his blankets when he was sleeping. 80% of his body was burned. Fourth degree burns, to be precise. He was two years old at the time. Lost his sight and both hands.

[John]

He lost more than that, man.

[Brett]

That's the second one. The People magazine just did a spread on a guy that 80% of his body's burned.

[John]

Maybe it's him.

[Brett]

Had the total face transplant. It was the first one, 2020. And now he's married to some hot girl in their Instagram famous and she's.

[John]

Just in it for the click. I don't know. I've seen some people burned by fire and I don't remember their teeth going to the outside. All right, that was weird. We can put that on Facebook and let other people be the judge of that.

[Brett]

The pacifier. Too long or something. I mean, those teeth are coming out.

[John]

When you suck your thumb and you're in a fire. Maybe your teeth shoot out of you and start growing on the outside of your face.

[Dick Toledo]

His eyes are okay. He's waiting for a surgery technique to be developed so that surgeons can remove the scar tissue and let him see again. Eyes underneath all that skin has limited vision.

[John]

Yeah, he does. What am I looking at there?

[Brett]

Well, he has no vision there because.

[John]

His eyes have grown over where eyes go. There's eyes in there.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what someone's. That's what the.

[John]

Cut them open.

[Dale]

Cut me, Mick.

[John]

Cut him.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I'm not well.

[Brett]

You need.

[John]

There's eyes inside of the.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yep.

[John]

Grown over silly putty bubbles.

[Dick Toledo]

Apparently part of the procedure to protect what site he had when he was young.

[John]

They.

[Dick Toledo]

They closed over.

[John]

Well, it's been 20 years.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's.

[Brett]

You know how bright that's gonna be.

[John]

Oh, my God. That's a. That's probably his biggest concern. Lights and cones too bright. Put it back. No, it's not the brightness. That's gonna be awful. It's when he opens his eyes and sees that his teeth are on the outside now.

[Brett]

Man, he could.

[John]

Would you ever open that guy's eyes? He didn't want to see this.

[Brett]

Put him on there. I'd slap some of those meta glasses on there.

[John]

He does not want to see this.

[Brady]

In one aspect, he's lucky. I mean, as far as.

[Brett]

Like, he.

[John]

So he can't see it, right. I ever had my teeth start growing on the outside of my face. Glue my eyes shut, too. It's already hard enough. Look in the mirror. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

What we have here is a stroke struggle.

[John]

I'm the mom. And. And then he sees. And then he says what Brady said to his mom. What? Couldn't spend the 4,500 bucks on braces. He couldn't help me out at least a little bit. Put my teeth back in my head.

[Brett]

Maybe that one's coming up. A little surgery there.

[John]

How'd you like to be the dentist when he rolls up every six months for cleaning orthodontist.

[Dick Toledo]

He doesn't have to open up. John.

[John]

It is. It's basic work for the dentist.

[Brady]

Just gets a garden hose.

[John]

You even do the suction thing. Let it fall out.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, just put a tray under.

[John]

You put a tray under his.

[Brett]

I mean, I know he doesn't know, but my last lore request was like, do we have to have the open nose? Can we just yell that one up?

[John]

Can't we put a little. I don't know. Foundation on that big, red, open nose? There's an awful lot of. Don't open his eyes for it. I know people hate when I say it worse. It's time for the pillow. Little pillow talk. Was the head.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah.

[John]

I'm gonna tell you a story right before bedtime. It's the story of the boy with teeth on the outside and how he couldn't breathe with a pillow on his head. Okay, that sounds great. Today's debate.

[Brett]

Becky, you'll be taking on Zade.

[Katie]

Bachelor number two when you were a baby.

[John]

Oh, God. Don't talk about.

[Katie]

He's a joke.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, let's bring him out.

[Katie]

Bachelor Number two. What are your biggest fears?

[John]

Fire.

[Brett]

Candles.

[John]

Candlelighting. Bad. Candlelight levad. Candlelight Burn. Baby.

[Katie]

You're fun and mysterious.

[John]

Oh God.

[Katie]

Bachelor number two. Last time you had oral sex, what happened?

[John]

She died. She dies.

[Brady]

It's like a piranha.

[Brett]

That's the instant deal breaker there. If they're on. The profile says love candlelight dinners out.

[John]

Out. Oh.

[Katie]

He killed his last date with oral sex. Sounds hot.

[John]

Not hot. Hot. Bad.

[Dale]

No hot. No oral sex.

[John]

No hot.

[Katie]

I'm a dental hygienist.

[John]

Oh. Thank.

[Katie]

Bad breath is one of my biggest pet peeves.

[John]

That's pet Bath one.

[Dale]

Number three.

[Brett]

Zade. You want to do some cocaine?

[Dale]

Pour it in my open nose.

[John]

Sometimes I do cocaine. I don't even try to do cocaine.

[Brady]

Doesn't he Astraz? Got a funnel.

[John]

I just did the cocaine.

[Dale]

It fell in my open nose hole.

[John]

Brady. If he would you take him to death dinner.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

You could still eat sitting across from that. Not me.

[Brady]

Imagine the food falling out of his mouth while you're eating potatoes.

[John]

Mashed potatoes or bacon.

[Brett]

You'd have to do. Yeah. Lick. I think mashed potatoes. I don't think you could. There's not much chewing going on there.

[John]

I don't know. I think it's. I think it's inevitably going to get chewed. It has to pass through that gauntlet of teeth.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't think his teeth hit each other.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

They're not functional.

[John]

He might be able to crack a carrot.

[Brett]

I think it made me crack the carrot.

[Brady]

Looks like a bottle opener.

[John]

He's a human bottle opener.

[Brett]

It's like feeding the elephant.

[John]

Brett and I were searching all day for a bottle opener. There. Could have used this guy. Ow. Sorry, Zade. But really, seriously, that's what you're good for. No. No. You don't get any beer. Cokehorn. Yeah, we'll put some in your hole. Yeah, you put it down. You put it down. I'm not one of those people that finds beauty in keeping that stuff around. I'm a beautiful soul. No soul can be as. It's so beautiful that it makes me erase all this. I don't have to say. Okay? I don't want to hear it. Just like a. Like a bird at night. Just put a sheet over him. Go to sleep. Thanks for bringing us Zade Brady.

[Brett]

Welcome. Zade. Yeah, the program.

[John]

I wonder if on his Instagram he takes pictures from on high to make him look thinner or to make it look like his teeth are a little bit less outside.

[Brady]

He's got the Rocky Dennis Front house mirror.

[Katie]

You've always have your eyes closed. How romantic.

[John]

I found my choice. Cause I glued them shut with fire.

[Katie]

Oh, I'm on fire for you, Zade.

[John]

Don't say you are.

[Brady]

Wasn't your old intern's eyes, like, covered up, too?

[John]

Yeah, but when his eyes got plopped out by God's cancer diagnosis when he was three, because God gave him cancer early on, his eye sockets grew a pink, thin, almost like. It was almost the same color as a fruit roll up on where your eyes used to be. But there were two pins inside there.

[Brett]

They're like praying man aside.

[John]

Yeah, they're like little fingers inside.

[Brady]

So they still, like, moved around and stuff.

[John]

And they would move the thin fruit roll up skin around like someone was trying. Like Jacob's ladder. Like somebody's trying to get out. We asked him. Jim Sharp, to his credit, told Jason he had to wear glasses because how come, Jason, if you want to start doing public appearances, no one can look at you? It's very hard to look at. At you.

[Katie]

Well, that's their problem.

[John]

No, it's the radio station's problem. We're toting you around, making everybody sick. It's time you heard.

[Katie]

How come I have to change my ways?

[John]

Because you're a freak and people are disturbed by your face. With those little fingers in your eyes, you can't see it, so you don't know how bad it is.

[Katie]

I can't.

[John]

We know why it happened, Jason. Here, let me introduce you to Zade. Zade, do you like to French kiss?

[Dale]

I might, but you're gonna hate it.

[John]

You gonna bury my tiefling for you all 32. Anyway, Brett, what do you got on the big screen?

[Brady]

I got nothing today. I got standards.

[John]

You can't top Zade.

[Brady]

No, I can't. I got standards, and I got nothing on that.

[John]

You know, there's those moments where you raise your daughter right. You know, I raised a good girl, and she's not into material things. And then you wish you didn't the second she brings Zade home. Cause he's got a beautiful soul.

[Katie]

I see right past it.

[John]

Ah, you wrecking our Facebook family stuff. I can't send this picture of you two over to. Damn it.

[Brady]

Not gonna send a family photo on the Christmas cards and stuff.

[John]

Well, it's like my cousin who married that Scotsman with no neck, and he has neck removed surgically.

[Brett]

Pretty cool.

[John]

If you're into that. I don't know him. He's like, supposedly a wonderful human being, but it's not like he could be a dick, you know? No, he's got to be pretty nice to everybody because he can't see anybody coming.

[Brett]

What's it gonna look like, Doc, After?

[John]

Well, it's gonna look like your head is buried in the middle of your chest.

[Brett]

You look like an exaggerated lineman in football.

[John]

Yeah. I don't know. If you ever, like, broke a head off of a stuffed animal and try to put it right back on top, it's never quite the same. That's you now. All right, thanks for popping by. Next. Zade, you want to come in here? I've got no neck. I can't see when people are coming from left, right to behind. I don't know. I didn't even know that was a surgery until I saw this guy. You can have your neck removed.

[Brett]

He did.

[John]

I'm afraid we're gonna have to amputate. What? I came in here for a sore neck? Exactly. I could have my neck taken off.

[Brett]

Taking some columns out.

[John]

I'm taking the whole thing out. Just going to rest your chin on your clavicle. You'll be all right. At least you're not Zayed at the at least you're not Zayed clinic. That's true. It could be worse. I could be Zayed and have my teeth on the outside. The worst thing you can say to my cousin's husband is, hey, it's good to see you. Have a look around. Because he can't. He just starts spinning like a top. I love your house. Does a full 360 walk. What great big room. People could sneak up on you from everywhere in here.

[Dale]

Is that.

[John]

You worry about that everywhere, don't you? Oh, you know it. Boy, do I do I have. I'm fairly linear in sight, and when I chew, I almost break my ribs.

[Dick Toledo]

Brad, we might have to save your videos for tomorrow.

[John]

No, he's already done. He already said that's 829. Is Jamie here? Yeah, this is a good one. This is a great get today. He's over at Scottsdale center for the Arts. Correct. Yeah. And somehow Saturday, I believe, tied to our guys. Yep.

[Dick Toledo]

They were involved in helping him out.

[John]

Jamie Listow is going to be here in a little bit. He's on Gutfeld all the time. It's 8. 29. There goes your Brady report. It's 98. It's out of control now.

[Dale]

98K.

[John]

This is a. This is a cool thing. I'm very happy to meet you. I've got Jamie Lysos here. You know him from the Gutfeld show. And of course. Movies.

[Jamie Lissow]

Thank you. Thank you.

[John]

Movies of names. You would not. Yeah. So maybe you should say it. I don't want to brag for you.

[Jamie Lissow]

I would just say this. A lot of my movies are available on select Jack Blue flights.

[John]

Oh, wow. Wow. So traveling movies. I like that. You're at the Scottsdale center for Performing Arts. If you want to get tickets. Scottsdale performing arts dot org. That is the 15th. 6:30. And they added an 845 because you're killing.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah, man. I guess we sold it out. And I go, did you misspell my last name? Fox. What is going on? Why are we selling so many tickets? But yeah, and I guess we're. We're doing good on the Late show, too. I'm very excited.

[John]

Well, that's great. And you said you flew in for this show.

[Jamie Lissow]

I did.

[John]

What an ultimate disappointment that must be.

[Jamie Lissow]

Honestly, they go, if you change your flight a little bit and do a layover in Phoenix and stay overnight and I'm not even kidding you. I heard. I used to do morning radio.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

And you guys are one of the. You know, you've been around for a long time for a bit, and you guys are crushing it. And I like radio shows where. And you guys are the perfect example where you sound. When we go on the air, you sound just like you did a minute ago, right?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

Have you ever been on one of those where they go, hey, guys, we're gonna start a minute. It's like, welcome to Rock 90s. I go, Whoa, do I need a character? I don't have any characters.

[John]

Then bring your characters to the party.

[Brett]

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

[John]

I had to do. We make fun of it here all the time. But there was. When I first started, I was at a. We were at a station. In the closet was another radio station about the size of a small Hewlett Packard computer. And it was called Kiss 1230 Rhythm of the City. You see me, Jamie? You're looking right at me. Right. I am not the voice of Kiss 12:30, rhythm of the City. Visually, no.

[Jamie Lissow]

You don't seem like a guy like that or someone who would be in a closet.

[John]

Thank you. When a black guy came up to me at the station and said, we need a voice for the station. Can you do that? And I would do it like I can, I suppose. And he goes, we need it to be urban. So for about a year, every time you turned it on, you would Hear me going, kiss 1230, the witness city. Wow, that's so Good. How you all doing out there today? And I felt horrible. And then the place turned it.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah.

[John]

But it was. That was when I realized, just be you. Yeah. Because this is. This. You get kind of a little juice off of that. You feel some power being that fake guy. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

I was just jealous when you did that voice.

[John]

Yeah. You can do it. Try it.

[Jamie Lissow]

Oh, hey, what's up?

[Dale]

That's pretty good.

[Brett]

That's better than.

[John]

We got Jimmy Lissow on from the Gutfeld show today. How you doing, my man?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

And you know, so we play games where we have to do kiss 1230 things because I was the voice of the rhythm of the city, which is the opposite of what I should ever have.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah.

[John]

A lot of job fairs, but yeah, radio is. Now when you were in radio, you. How long did you do it?

[Jamie Lissow]

I did it for five years. Morning show. Five and a half hour talk radio show.

[John]

Yeah. And you hated it.

[Jamie Lissow]

I was, I liked being on the air. But as you know, as in radio, you're not just on the air after a couple years. You gotta learn the board. And then they. Then you're doing a bunch of stuff. I was the worst, worst radio employee, I think, of all time.

[John]

They.

[Jamie Lissow]

I just was not good at. I could talk on the air, but I was not good. Like, they. This one time, they. I wouldn't take as a story if you weren't in radio. So this one time they go, hey, at the end of your shift, we want you to cut up a bunch of stand up comedy clips. You're gonna play them coming in and out of break and they go, just find some comedians. We want them to be in wave format. Right. And then you got. Instead of putting them in wave format, I just didn't do it. I just went home.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

I didn't.

[Brett]

You waved goodbye.

[John]

I did, I waved goodbye instead. I just did nothing.

[Jamie Lissow]

I did. Yeah, I did. Just got my car.

[John]

Were you fired or was the show. Did they just remove you or did you get a divorce? You're known for just leaving things as far as having been left.

[Jamie Lissow]

I didn't know that you could stop doing radio and not be fired.

[John]

Was that right?

[Jamie Lissow]

I didn't know there was another alternative. They go, we're doing a format change. We're doing, you know, country. And you don't live in this country.

[John]

Yeah. Then you're no longer part of this country. Wow. So radio was kind of a thing that. I'll try it. It was okay for a little bit.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah, I, I really did love it. My. I was the first five years of my kid's life, I got to be home at 10:30 in the morning.

[John]

It's pretty.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

And when you' doing that, that ain't so bad. But you got to go to sleep like almost immediately. Because if you're like me, I stay up late.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah. And it's four, 4:30 getups. And then it was Rochester, New York. So we had a special guy that plowed our driveways at 4 in the morning. He plow morning shows.

[John]

What do you mean when you say special guy that did that? I don't think that's legal.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

You're allowed to employ him to do heavy equipment.

[Jamie Lissow]

Some of Those guys like 300 bucks. This guy was one. One stuffed animal.

[John]

He was a special. And he didn't even have a truck. He just cleared it. It was a. He was a machine. Always out there too.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

He wouldn't even play. He would just carry me to my car. It was a really good situation.

[John]

Now I kind of want to write that movie.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah.

[John]

He's the Plowman. Scottsdale center for the Performing Arts. We don't normally say that, so I'm gonna say it a lot because that's where you get your tickets. I got two questions for you that are. You'll make it funny. The first one is I watch Fox sometimes and I can't get past the first fact that until you walked in this room, I wasn't sure you weren't AI.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yes.

[John]

The lighting in a Fox studio changes people's faces to the point where your eyes kind of glow blue. I've never seen anything. You remember those old Duracell commercials where everybody looked like plastic and strange.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. The family.

[John]

It lights you up in such strange ways that now that I see you, oh, you are human. You're not like some sort of animatronic Disney.

[Brett]

A little less makeup, you know, in person.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah. I get so much feedback. Is the nice word about this.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

Where people go, I've been told I look like AI.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

I've been told I resemble a thumb and a penis. Oftentimes.

[John]

I don't think that's the life.

[Jamie Lissow]

I. That's right.

[John]

Just shapes and colors. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

And that was just for my ex girlfriend and. But yeah, it was. We get a lot of flack. And also they say the makeup. I think it's something to do with the makeup and the lighting and then people. I get a lot of stuff. I get your teeth look super white, your eyes, but you look insane. And then I get. And then I also get after shows. A lot of people tell me I look taller on television.

[John]

Huh. Well, that's because you're next to Gutfeld. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

And I always go, maybe your TV's sitting up on top of something.

[John]

You're looking up at it.

[Jamie Lissow]

So I don't have an answer for you, but I want you to know you are not alone.

[John]

Right? No. And it's because it's visually the first thing you see. You know, you're not up, you're not listening yet. Like, why is everybody so goddamn beautiful on this thing? Like in ways that humans can't be. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

And to be honest with you too, the other, the other piece of criticism I get. Do you know how certain lighting in certain mirrors can either boost or shatter your confidence? Like there are some mirrors and I go, I man, I'm like six. And then sometimes you're like looking at your iPad and you see your reflection and you're like, I should wear a bag at all times. Fox, Sometimes the camera angle they shoot is sort of that bad angle, but in front of 4 million people.

[John]

Yeah, see, I don't see any bad angles at all. I think everybody looks unbelievable.

[Jamie Lissow]

Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah. These cameras must have a built in AI that filters.

[John]

It's like a dating app. All of you are on some sort of weird dating app and you're just, you're gonna catfish everybody eventually. Say, amazing.

[Jamie Lissow]

Jesse Waters.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

So in real life.

[John]

Yeah, Jesse.

[Jamie Lissow]

I was in an elevator with Jesse Waters once. Let me just say this. I'm not, but if I was, he'd be the one.

[John]

Is that right?

[Jamie Lissow]

I mean, just a gorgeous hair. Yeah, it's that.

[John]

You think he's gorgeous. Like, like lazy. A statuesque man. I don't know how tall he looks.

[Jamie Lissow]

Like a perfect guy. I'm not a good gauge of guys are good looking or not.

[John]

Right.

[Jamie Lissow]

But I do think that he is like a good. He's, he's a bit of a specimen. He's got some, he's got like that TV show.

[John]

Yeah, he does have the hair and the. There, look at that there you are glowing with those beautiful white teeth right there on our screen. And then your eyes are popping out and you say that. Would you think that Jesse wants to be with you?

[Jamie Lissow]

We'll pay for it like a radio stick.

[John]

We'll take you out to the Waffle House and we'll make a thing out of it.

[Brett]

He did just broke Bill Himmer. Sorry.

[Jamie Lissow]

I couldn't gauge his interest by his non response to what I said to him, but that did look good. Though I just looked at that man. I wish I look like that guy.

[John]

And you do. You look fine. And that's the thing that I think is the most disturbing is none of these people are ugly to begin with.

[Jamie Lissow]

Right.

[John]

But then it's this like excessive. You can't possibly meet this standard. So my, my follow up to it is it's constantly a letdown to actually physically meet someone who's been shown this way.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah. If I could have brought an Instagram filter with me today and just have it over someone way.

[John]

Now here's the other thing.

[Brett]

The other guy I can't get over though. One of the first time I saw him, I'm like, that's AI or that can't be real. Brett Bear.

[John]

Yeah. Brett Bear is like a normal looking man. Are they all just milling around at Fox? Do you see everybody when you're there and just kind of walk by them and they're there? It's kind of got to be weird. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

If you go up to the office, if you just go do Gutfeld, you see just Gutfeld people. But if you go up to the offices.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

You run into. I run into Dana Perino all the time. They're just there and. Yeah. Yeah.

[John]

Huh. That's strange.

[Jamie Lissow]

And we also get a lot of. I mean a lot of those guys are guests on Gutfeld show, so I often see them more.

[John]

When, when were you there the night Trump was there? I don't remember.

[Jamie Lissow]

I was there the night before.

[John]

Oh.

[Jamie Lissow]

And they go, they go, tomorrow. This is like kind of just post assassination attempts just a few weeks after. And I remember, they go, we have a guest on tomorrow, but we're not going to tell you who it is and you're not allowed to tell anybody. And I go, okay. And they go, so we're not going to tell you who it is. It's a surprise. But the Secret Service is going to frisk you.

[John]

Oh.

[Jamie Lissow]

And I go, I wonder if it's true, Trump. It's obviously not like Russell Peters or something. You know what I mean? Like it's gonna be. So I kind of had an inkling that it was. That Trump was gonna.

[John]

That it was Trump. And you were asked to leave.

[Jamie Lissow]

I was asked to leave.

[John]

You would not be in the room.

[Jamie Lissow]

But it was a scheduled. Yeah, I didn't get to be.

[John]

How crazy is that? Who's been the best guest you've sat with? Now they think about. You've been in there with a lot of people.

[Jamie Lissow]

Oh, my goodness.

[John]

Did you ever. You said you met John Cleese, when you were filming a movie that's meeting an idol, have you met anyone in there? You're like, wow, this one. I was.

[Jamie Lissow]

I did one with Dennis Miller. Roseanne was a fascinating one to be on with. I'm a huge fan of a lot of the. Of a lot of the regulars. Like, like being on with, like, Emily Campagno is my favorite. There's no bombing when Emily Compagno's on because at least she's going to laugh.

[John]

She laughs at everything.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah.

[John]

Cat likes you, too.

[Jamie Lissow]

Cat's really.

[John]

Yeah, she's fun. And it just seems like a fun show. It's all the way across. Seems fun now. A year ago, maybe this wasn't going to be the catalyst for coming to comedy shows. I've talked to so many comedians and so many of them have sat back and said, I'd love to do Gutfeld. I'm not doing that because it was, in a lot of ways, not a death sentence, but definitely a hindrance to some clubs not taking you. The Fox right wing thing. So living outside of, like, saying most comics come in here for years, we're very comfortable being far left. None far right.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yep.

[John]

And they would tell me after, oh, I don't really feel crazy left. But I'm not saying that because I'll lose jobs.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah. And the biggest jobs you would lose were the big three networks. So it was like the Tonight show, like a Fallon, a Seth Meyers, like, those are the ones. And that used to be it. And so when you. I remember I met Greg 20 years ago. I used to do Red Eye, which was a show that was on 3:00 in the morning. I did it 55 times.

[John]

Really.

[Jamie Lissow]

I think once someone came to my comedy show from watching Man, Red Eye, and it was my mom. And then going back on, it was funny. I was living in Alaska. 100% true story. And we had just written the movie that we filmed in Scottsdale. And Greg goes, I got this new show. Do you want to do it? And I go, I'd love to, but I'm doing like this movie thing. Like, I wrote it and I'm in it and I'm. I was so busy. And he asked me a bunch of times. I would say for the first six months, his booker asked me like three or four times. I go, man, I gotta fly all the way to New York. I'd love to do it. But we're. So I finally go and I have my first appearance on the new Gutfeld show. And I'm thinking This is Red Eye, right?

[John]

Same thing.

[Jamie Lissow]

And so I do the show and they go, where are you at this weekend? And I go, I'm opening for Rob Schneider. I don't know if you know that. I used to be like Rob Schneider's opener. I didn't know that was my full time job. We have a TV show on Netflix and I'm real quick. I don't want people that you guys think like, like all I do is write off the success of Rob Schneider. But it's a lot of what I do. And if you want to see something I do completely separate, you know, you could check out my website.

[John]

Rob's not going to be there this weekend.

[Jamie Lissow]

Well, you can check out my website robschneidersfriend.com for any of. But he. So we end up writing this and I don't do I go there and he goes, Greg goes, where are you at this weekend? I go opening for Rob Schneider. Opening, not even headlining. Right. And that weekend 60 people bought $50 tickets. I was doing 10 minutes in front of Rob.

[John]

Just because you from promoted it.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah. And I called Greg. I go, could I do that show again?

[John]

Yeah. So it's, it's the only late night show that pops for comedians anymore.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah, I think so. And I have a bunch of different theories. I think that on the Tonight show or on like a Fallon, you do four and a half minutes of material.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

To six minutes of material. You're in and out. And on Gutfeld you're hanging out. Like I was at a coffee shop last week and I just hear behind me, this guy goes, excuse me, are you from Alaska? I go, yeah. And he goes, are you divorced? And I go, yeah. And he goes, do you never get laid? And he goes, jamie, from God.

[Brett]

I swear to God. And that, that's the qualifying question.

[John]

And it was Jesse Waters. Jesse Waters asked those three questions to make sure it was you, by the way.

[Jamie Lissow]

He goes, he goes, is your character on Gutfeld, is it made up like for TV to be funny or is it all real? And I go, do you think if I could make up any character, those would be the attributes?

[Brett]

That's the guy.

[John]

Yeah, the divorced celibate guy. Why wouldn't you go down that road? But are you that though you're divorced for sure?

[Jamie Lissow]

Yes.

[John]

And you take a beating about that?

[Jamie Lissow]

I do, but. But I do actually some of it, just to be clear, a lot of stuff I do on Gutfeld about my ex wife is just jokes based on facts and she just like silly stories that came up with based on actual events and. But we do communicate because, like, as a divorce dad, if you have kids, you know, you got to put your ego aside.

[John]

Right.

[Jamie Lissow]

You know, she actually. She texted me right before I walked in here. I'm not even kidding you. It says F you.

[John]

She's still in contact. Yeah, she's still the same. But yeah, dude, it's like it never ended.

[Brett]

She's correct.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

What do you like about it?

[Jamie Lissow]

We still communicate just like we did when we were together.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

Isn't it weird, though, I. That now that. That it's kind of like this. The pendulum is swung back. People are coming out of the closet. We talked about this morning. Like, it's like, like coming out of the closet politically. Like, people want to be on Gutfeld, where before they were worried about it. People want to say, oh, no, I'm totally. I'll totally scream out that I believe this way. I'm a middle of the road guy. I really don't like either party. Yeah. But I also know that for a while there to do that show, people's eyebrows would raise. And now it's like, oh, no, it's huge. Do you find the hypocrisy in that, that you are now here this weekend doing two shows when it was probably a little harder two years ago, three years ago to do this?

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

I do feel like a hypocrisy as a revenge tour. I do have an undercurrent of feeling really good a lot of times because a lot of the guys who. Some comedians that I didn't even know very well, really, really come out against you. And I mean, like, not just with direct messages, but like on Facebook or Instagram. They'll say things, kind of crappy things, whatever. And I have had. I would say almost half of those guys ask me how to get Godfather.

[John]

Really?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

So the ones that we see. And I just found out someone was recently traded from a professional sports team because the rest of the team didn't like their political views.

[Jamie Lissow]

Oh, wow.

[John]

And. And threat. But they. They told this person through Instagram.

[Jamie Lissow]

I do feel like it. I feel like if you sell somebody, if everybody. Like if you're in Fox News and somebody came in, like, for instance, my fiance who's like left wing. If she came in. Yeah. Like, she's leans left.

[John]

She's a doctor right down the road again. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

And she. Dude, you know what's weird? Marriage, man. There. We did a study that we just started the other day that said, can two people be together? If they're different politically, it's an interesting question. Like, can two people. And I was like, I think that was the source of many of my problems because I always did lean to the right and my wife left and she was. She was pro life without me. But I think if when she comes into the studio, everyone knows and we even have. And they don't have a problem with it. I feel like the right. If you're left, they go, ah, that's okay. But if you're. If it's everybody left and you're right, it's not okay.

[John]

It feels weird. It feels like you're a fish out of water.

[Jamie Lissow]

Ostracized.

[John]

Yeah. Pushed out. But I don't know if that's going to be the same anymore because I'm starting to notice a lot of people just like, like you said, 50 of them. How do I get on Gutfeld? It's good for me. Yeah. So much. It's. I'm kind of fascinated by the whole thing because we've had plenty of people come in here and tell and, you know, you would think one thing, but off they're like, you know, they're Genghis Khan. They're so far gone. One side, you're like, yes, God, Yeah. But they quietly have their own views and they're just afraid of them. And that's what. Gutfeld's kind of broken.

[Jamie Lissow]

That's right. There are many. And you guys probably know this from maybe interviewing some of them, but there are many giant comedy stars that everyone knows that are pretty right wing, but they keep it all down the middle because they want everyone to see their movies. And it's like, I don't, I don't blame them.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

But, yeah, that I. You know what I don't get? I don't get how, like, when I see Elon Musk, for instance, I don't know how you guys feel about it.

[John]

He.

[Jamie Lissow]

Sometimes I wonder can, like, if you're on the opposite side politically, I've always been able to go, well, that was a good healthcare idea. On the other side, I've always been able to go. To go issue by issue. And I feel like with Elon, I can't understand not wanting someone to show transparency with government funding. I feel like I can't imagine being against it. And also, he has so much money, you can't go, ah, he's doing it for the speaking tour, the Victory Lab. He kind of. Elon Musk is so smart that I recently decided that my beliefs are just whatever he thinks I just feel like he's so smart sometimes. He goes, he'll be like, I'm going to light this rocket off. Because I go, I don't need the. Because you got me.

[John]

Seems like you've nailed this.

[Brett]

I'm doing it. Yeah. Going to use chopsticks.

[Jamie Lissow]

Whatever you want, buddy.

[John]

Anybody who's got a billion dollars can be stupid.

[Jamie Lissow]

I agree.

[John]

I think you can lose a billion dollars if you're stupid. But if you've got a billion dollars, you, you're you, you were at one point or another. You knock something out of the yard, you're not going to be smart in everything.

[Jamie Lissow]

I completely agree.

[John]

I need to listen to you about some stuff. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

And if you look at his master plan, if he's on a, a long form podcast, he'll say, if the Earth becomes uninhabitable, I want everyone to be able to live on Mars. Which I think benefits everybody. That's a great altruistic thing. And then California, when politics came up, California just said, you can't light rockets off anymore in California. And they cited the reason they go, because it's like the sonic booms will disrupt the wildlife. And like, I don't mean to sound intensive, but I don't think I care if every once in a while a bear's like, what the heck was that? We are going to Mars.

[Brett]

Yeah. It doesn't live on Mars.

[Jamie Lissow]

Who cares?

[John]

Would you like to live on Mars?

[Jamie Lissow]

I feel like it's too long of a flight.

[John]

It is too long to go. It's too many years on a plane with people.

[Brett]

We are definitely on a fast track.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I mean, there's something that.

[John]

They're not taking us.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

We're not going on. It ain't a free for all.

[Jamie Lissow]

Can you imagine if you got in that nine month flight and they say next to your crying baby or you.

[John]

Started off with a lady who was pregnant. Four months in, you've got a crying baby. It was like peaceful for a minute. But the last five months were a nightmare. Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that at all. You as a divorced dad, as a divorced man who has made it very public, I would like to have you talk to Brady who brought up this morning that he and four of his frat buddies are going without their wives to Germany with one of their single friends and he thinks this is a good idea.

[Jamie Lissow]

So you're saying you're all married?

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

Everybody's going to Germany without wives.

[John]

And one of the guys from the fraternity, single for Oktoberfest he doesn't drink but the rest of them do. Would you take this trip or would you be allowed on this trip with four married couples Guys.

[Jamie Lissow]

I would confidently take it because I hated my ex wife. But if I liked her I might rethink it.

[John]

Yes. Because it's nothing but trouble.

[Jamie Lissow]

It seems like a lot risky.

[Brett]

What if your wife bought you the trip?

[John]

She would have bought Jamie the trip. That's. That's the. Jamie would have gotten trips anywhere but home. I think the little bit I know about you that is something that I think she probably had a lot of plane tickets in your hand.

[Jamie Lissow]

Birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day. One way tickets.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

All gone. Yeah. It's.

[Jamie Lissow]

Well you. You just changed the whole thing with me by saying that she is so pro going on this trip with I think raises even more flags in my mind.

[John]

There you go. He just had no question. That's why I'm going.

[Brett]

I like that.

[John]

Yeah. Because the one dude that's going single is going to wreck it for everybody because he's bringing home.

[Jamie Lissow]

He's going to ruin it.

[John]

He's going to ruin it. One of the nights he's going to bang a frau line and she. They don't travel solo so she'll have a friend that somebody's got a babysit and it's just going to open Pandora's box for the wives back home.

[Jamie Lissow]

True thing.

[John]

Some.

[Jamie Lissow]

Some guys in college would wake up like next to girls that they ra. Regretted going home with. And in college I would wake up just next to packages of food I wish I didn't eat. I never had the walk of shame for me was going to throw away my McDonald's.

[John]

The package of Taco Bell that was half eaten.

[Jamie Lissow]

So you're going on this trip. When's the trip?

[Brett]

End of September.

[Jamie Lissow]

End of September. And then this single guy, is he respectful? Do you feel like he's the kind of guy that wants to go.

[John]

One of the guys nickname is Scummy Dick Douglas.

[Jamie Lissow]

Oh my God. That seems like he's married.

[John]

Okay.

[Jamie Lissow]

Scummy's married.

[John]

Okay. Scummy's got a lady friend. He's good. He's one of the good ones.

[Jamie Lissow]

I don't know if I, I would. I. I guess it comes down to trust, right. If there's a huge amount of trust maybe it's okay.

[John]

But that doesn't matter. His wife can trust him. Somebody on this trip's going to make it. So everybody else starts talking two divorces out of the like it's hangover three, but, yeah, somebody's got a lot.

[Brett]

We all turned 60 this year.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So it was kind of a trip.

[John]

That one guy on the flight back is going to say, all right, here's the story. Yeah. Completely. There's not going to be any truths, and there's going to be a picture that leaks for you. Like I thought you said, you didn't go there.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah. Playing right back. Let's all put our SIM cards back in our phones.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. Some guy in Anne Frank's attic doing something terrible.

[Brett]

We don't have to worry about that because everyone's flying. Kind of separate. More or less.

[John]

All right.

[Jamie Lissow]

Okay.

[John]

I tried to get you to help, too. I'm not listening to us. I'm very worried.

[Jamie Lissow]

He seemed like a nice guy.

[John]

You're, like, on a national news network. I thought maybe there would be some credit ability here, but you're not helping.

[Jamie Lissow]

How long. Are you guys married? Were you guys married?

[John]

Oh, my God.

[Jamie Lissow]

That was a Freudian slip. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John]

Brady has nailed it.

[Brett]

It'll be 19 years this year.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

Okay.

[John]

If he makes it to the actual date. But right now, the planning is. Well, this is just rough. It's a tough one. Yeah. So. And you're gonna get married again. You said fiance a couple of times. I'm worried about this.

[Jamie Lissow]

I am getting married again. She's really nice.

[John]

Yeah. But when's the. The date?

[Jamie Lissow]

June 7th.

[John]

You're doing it soon. Yeah. What happens to you on Gutfeld? They can't. Can they still make fun of the horrible divorce and loneliness.

[Jamie Lissow]

It's funny. When I. I brought Erica to my. My fiance to Gutfeld Studio last week, and Greg is such a funny guy off stage, and I go. And I seem like an instant.

[Brett]

He's a nice one.

[John]

He's funny. If you don't watch the show, great.

[Jamie Lissow]

People all the time go, is he the same in R of life as he is on? I go, dude, he really, like, if he was here, he'd be a total a hole.

[John]

Yeah, he.

[Jamie Lissow]

But he met her and he was like this. He goes, this is gonna ruin everything.

[John]

Yeah, it does. It wrecks your whole Persona. How do we make fun of you when you're happy with some lady? Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

I do feel like it's worth it, though. Can I throw this out there? Some people have called me, like, they say I remind them of Rodney Dangerfield, which I think is the ultimate compliment. But I think they mean. I don't think they mean I'm hilarious. I think they Mean, the no respect.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

The lack of no respect.

[Brett]

But here's my thought. So much cocaine.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

The no respect in the cocaine. And. But I think it's. At some point is the guy with no respect. Right. Rodney, who we all loved. I think at some point he's on Carson. Right. And he's like, ah, I get no respect. And you're like, this is your 33rd Carson. I feel like you're getting a tiny bit of respect. Would the audience have hated him if at the end he went like, hey, I'm getting a little bit of respect. I feel a little bit of respect.

[John]

Yeah. You know, thanks for all the respect. I want to thank you guys for all this respect.

[Jamie Lissow]

My wife said, take me somewhere we've never been. We went to the Bahamas. It's not even a joke.

[John]

It's just. They went to the Bahamas.

[Dale]

I've never been happier.

[John]

We had a nice time on the islands. Hey, get lots of respect. I get a lot of respect now. Everybody bring me free stuff.

[Dale]

It's wonderful.

[Brett]

I slapped the doctor.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

He doesn't have any jokes at all or just. It's just. We had a wonderful dinner. Yeah. It just ends.

[Dale]

We went out, had a steak.

[John]

It was wonderful. Somebody bought us drinks. Thank you. Thanks so much, everybody. Have a good night. Jimmy Lizzow. Coming up.

[Jamie Lissow]

I need so much respect now.

[John]

Yeah. I can. I'm overwhelmed with respect.

[Jamie Lissow]

I've had enough respect. It's enough.

[John]

Will you please get back to the old way? It's overwhelming. Scottsdale center for the Performing Arts is where Jamie Lisso is going to be on the 15th Valentine's weekend. So it's a date night. Or is it just for divorced dads who want to relate and then have you rub it in their face that you're back on the horse?

[Jamie Lissow]

So I'm sort of. I'm sort of like promoting this as a. It's a date night.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

Or you come single. Right. Maybe you come single and maybe, you know, people can. It's going to be all guys. I just realized the error of my ways as I went.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

I was going to say, are there going to be single ladies just milling around looking for a guy?

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah, I don't think so. Because I was the guy on stage for years and I couldn't find one.

[John]

Yeah, That's. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

Let alone just how bad did that be?

[John]

If you're losing out to the single ladies, to other audience members, and you're the one who did all the work. Brutal. That's no good.

[Brett]

Set it up.

[Jamie Lissow]

Do you like though? I like as at my Gutfeld audiences, a little bit older. It's like my age and older. And so you notice my show times 6:45.

[John]

It's 6:30 and 8:45.

[Jamie Lissow]

6:35. I love early show times. I feel like I'm an old guy at heart. I was doing a show last night, there was like an 80 year old guy in the front row and he was laughing at all my jokes. It made me feel really good. And then right in the middle of the show, his phone alarm went off and like 60 people took their pills. Just it's an older crop. And so you hear the pop, the plastic.

[John]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

So you gotta make sure that phone, that alarm's yours.

[John]

Well, you're selling it, but.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah, but that sounds fun. Even the late show, it's not even late, right?

[John]

No, it's 8:45. You'll be in and out of there, no problem. You say, and you'll get home by 11. At the late show, you'll be home by 11.

[Jamie Lissow]

It's unbelievable, man.

[John]

You're pulling it off for all of us. Jamie, it's good to see you. Please. We always have people leave us with words of wisdom. What in your world, if you were in charge right now, oh wow. Is Jamie Lissow's world becomes the first thing you change?

[Jamie Lissow]

Oh my gosh. Or think about words of wisdom. I would say is not funny. I would say like the obstacle is the way, like that's like a Marcus Aurelius type thing because he die. He did die, but very violent.

[John]

Can I.

[Jamie Lissow]

Is it too late to choose different ones to edit this in post?

[John]

So you're saying climb over the thing in front of you rather than take the easy route. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

And sincerely, the worst thing that happened to me was my divorce. I didn't really want to get divorced. It was like a sad time of my life. I don't want to move to Alaska. My ex wife moving to Alaska and the guy. Yeah, yeah.

[John]

Your ex wife moved to Alaska.

[Jamie Lissow]

Ex wife moving to Alaska.

[John]

While you were married still while we were married. Okay. She didn't like package you up and.

[Jamie Lissow]

No, she didn't put me in a U Haul.

[Brett]

She worked on a fish boat.

[Jamie Lissow]

It was like, hey, her dad owned a comedy club. It's a crazy story. I was performing.

[John]

Really?

[Jamie Lissow]

But I feel like all those painful things were what that guy asked me at the coffee shop. That's how he knows me. He knows me as like the Alaska divorced.

[John]

Your misery is your identity.

[Jamie Lissow]

I believe so.

[John]

So you would do this all over again.

[Jamie Lissow]

I would do it all, do it.

[John]

All exactly the same. Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

I look back and I think I was going past red flags with my ex wife.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lissow]

I was going past red flags like an Olympic downhill skier. You know, you just go, just go flying past him. Yeah.

[Brett]

Not missing.

[John]

Now you've learned your lesson.

[Jamie Lissow]

I think so.

[John]

In the end, it was all worth it. This is worth it. This is the lie you tell yourself every day.

[Jamie Lissow]

To tell myself to lie. I do. You got to sometimes lie to yourself. Can I change my words of wisdom? Yeah. I get an adequate amount of respect.

[John]

Jamie Lisso. Pleasure to meet you, man. Nice to meet you guys. 8:45 show is the one you go grab. Scottsdale performing arts.org is where you grab tickets. It's out of control now. All right. Look at this day flying by. Jamie Liss. I was here. That's a great one. That was a good get. I liked having him in. He was from. You know him from Gutfeld on the Fox news.

[Dale]

I, I've looked at that. What is.

[John]

Hold on. I'm not done. Hold on. Yeah, there's that guy. Hold on. We'll get to British own pictures of that guy with his teeth on the. From this morning, Dale Hellistry joins us once again because it's Thursday and that's what he does. And Dale has a sponsor. He's a walking billboard. And for Steve's billiards is right there on it. They're having a spring cleaning special. So it's not spring yet. What is meathead doing?

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm texting him right now.

[Dale]

Spring cleaning.

[John]

Okay. But you don't have that in February.

[Dale]

It is spring in Arizona.

[John]

It's gonna rain tomorrow. It's like 45.

[Dale]

Oh, my gosh. It's gonna.

[John]

Just saying. It's the only winter we get. Let's not jump ahead.

[Brett]

This is one of the longest spring sales ever.

[John]

It is a big time sp. It's spring somewhere. It's Prestige Billiards having their spring cleaning special. In winter, they're selling off their overstocked items. Use the code meathead98 for a 10 discount online or in one of their three stores. Scottsdale, Mesa or now Glendale. Prestige billiards. A dot com. You've been to my house, Dale. You've seen the game room. All Prestige billiards.

[Dale]

Oh, is it really?

[John]

He built my pool table.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John]

He and another guy named Rick made all the woodwork for it. And Rick. Rick passed away last year. Oh, well, you know, I didn't do it. I'm over it.

[Brett]

And Meathead brings in the slate by himself.

[John]

Meathead carries it by himself. He came to the house.

[Dale]

He's a big.

[John]

He's a big dude and he's got slate in the back of his truck. And I don't know if you've ever tried to lift slate. Pool table.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

And you probably.

[Dale]

I'm not a pool table, but yeah, I lifted slate.

[John]

It wasn't attached to the pool table, but there were four things. And he goes, you want to help? And I'm like, sure. And he grabbed him and I went out there and I slid one towards me about an inch and a half. And I'm like. And I blamed recent surgery for why that couldn't get. And then we had. The gay neighbors came and they drugged the slide in. Jesus. He's strong as a bull. So, yeah, he can. He can move a pool table, but by himself. He gets under it and lifts it with his back and spins it around.

[Brady]

I just text him, ask him about the spring thing.

[John]

So my age? I don't know. Well, how old is Meathead?

[Brady]

It's about our age.

[John]

Is he. Yeah, I don't think so.

[Dale]

What's he gonna be like when he's 60, all lifting slate all over the place?

[Brett]

I probably won't have to worry about that.

[Dale]

No.

[John]

Yeah, look. Look who's calling a shot on him. Meathead dying early.

[Brett]

No, he'll be a fit machine, Dale.

[John]

We'll get to sports. And look, we've already talked about the Suns off the air, and I don't even know if that's worth talking about. It's just a pain in the ass, this team. All right, let's get to it. Bol Bowl's playing lights out. Now, I don't know who Conor Gillespie is, but he's in games all of a sudden. Ty. Ty Washington's on the floor with Morris and Bol bowl and like, all these guys that didn't play before the trade deadline are putting up numbers that this dumb coach. I'm done with Budenholzer, by the way. And I hate being a guy who goes coach to coach to coach. Yeah, but he's proving how bad he is. Well, every night by putting a new lineup in there. Some guys delivering. Like, you're not seeing this in practice.

[Dale]

No, I. But hey, I'm probably taking like, if we're down at Indian School park picking basketball games. Yeah, I'm probably picking Brad or Brady before I pick Gillespie.

[John]

Me too, because he looks like an accountant.

[Dale]

A little bit of hair.

[John]

Well, then you should pick him. I didn't realize the athleticism he. He oozed. If you. If you're comparing him to me, Claire.

[Dale]

Clearly the things that jump out to me. Number one, I'm so. I want. I dare you to listen to every one of Budenholzer's post game. Oh, gotta work a little bit harder.

[John]

It's all mumbles. Yeah. He doesn't say anything important.

[Dale]

And then the other thing is you have a week off. After last night, you have a week off. I understand. It's a back to back.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

And you still can't get your big three out there. You can't get the two out there. You got a little back contusion. Yeah, well, what is he. Was he already in the Cayman Islands? Was he already somewhere? Why are you not playing last night? Your team is in desperate need.

[John]

It's a new generation deal.

[Dale]

It's a. It sucks.

[John]

This is an old man talking about sports the way it used to be. These guys take breaks and football's gonna have that soon too because 18 game seasons there's getting the damn.

[Dale]

Have him pay, play 20.

[John]

What are you crazy?

[Dale]

Pension. Pension.

[John]

Oh, your pension goes up when they play more games. How does that work, John?

[Dale]

He's just like. We played 16 games when the old guys played 14 and 12.

[John]

How did they get more?

[Dale]

Just revenue, more money coming, money comes in and a nice job of going back and helping the old.

[John]

Is your pension the same as Michael Irvin's?

[Dale]

No, mine's more.

[John]

How. Oh, because you played longer. Yeah, but he gets a hall of fame check.

[Dale]

I don't know if they get checks.

[John]

I think they do.

[Dale]

I just know his autographs are worth a little bit more than mine.

[John]

But. But yeah.

[Dale]

I'm checking to see if you're listening.

[John]

The only time I've seen you sign things, it's like to. Like to get a debt collector off your back. And you got to talk to your boy Michael, by the way, this, this, this raggedy and hair he's got going on, it's the worst haircut.

[Dale]

We saw him at Bill Bates weekend. It was interesting because his hair was kind of out there.

[John]

It's like a clown.

[Dale]

And I said, my Michael, what the hell are you doing with your hair? He said, helly, I was in the barber. There's an old guy staring at me as I'm getting close crop, whatever that is. And he's bald and he's looking at me going, son, why are you cutting it all off? You don't know how long you're Gonna have it. So he said, at that moment, I told the barber to stop. Stop cutting my haircut.

[John]

And he turned to the barber and said, make it look as dumb as possible. I'm going on TV tonight. Look at this. This is horrible.

[Dale]

Yeah, he's not gonna get another haircut.

[John]

No, this. This was his DUI arrest photo from 40 years ago, like, now.

[Dale]

Hey, I tell you what, though, Johnny. You and him walk into a bar, who's walking. Who's walking out with some talent?

[Brett]

What bar?

[Dale]

Any.

[John]

Rah room. He. Maybe I am the king of the rah rahu.

[Dale]

Hey, you're J. J. Concierge.

[John]

She doesn't have a concierge.

[Dale]

She's getting a piggyback ride.

[John]

She will con. I will say, there goes my concierge on my back. She's my helper.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John]

All right, well, yeah, it probably wouldn't get treated the same way if my.

[Dale]

No, but it goes by years of service, you know, so that. That's why I always kind of joke around those three games in Baltimore, you have to play three games to count as a year.

[John]

That's right.

[Dale]

And that. And that gets me. It gives me another 700amonth.

[John]

No.

[Dale]

For the rest of my life and my wife's life.

[John]

That's pretty awesome.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

All right, well, okay, but hall of Fame, I think when I saw OJ's hall of Fame thing they get, it was like, 25 grand. I don't know if it was a month, but it was a lot. They got a lot of dough every year.

[Dale]

I. I just barely missed out, so I didn't.

[John]

The hall of Fame? Yeah, I barely missed out on attending the hall of Fame.

[Dale]

I was really disappointed. I was el drum for the hall of Fame, and then I was up.

[John]

You. On the. On the day that that big, gigantic guy's knocking on doors, do you actually kind of keep your door open just in case?

[Dale]

Yeah. I'm like, hey, Brooke.

[John]

Yeah. Did someone knock? Is that David? That giant David guy standing outside? That dude's huge. I don't know who that. David Baker. What's his name?

[Dale]

His name's Baker.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Yeah. Well, what job does he have? I mean, go around and make everybody's lifetime.

[John]

He, like, looks into, like, the ooze and picks out hall of Famers, then goes and visits them. It's the craziest job ever. But you'll ever experienced that.

[Dale]

No.

[John]

Will you ever be in a room when somebody else gets that call?

[Dale]

Well, you know, I've been invited to three ceremonies.

[John]

Well, ceremonies are different. Like Be there when parties. Baker shows up.

[Dale]

Oh, no. Why do I want.

[Brett]

You never know. It's like a thief at night.

[John]

Probably true. Two in the morning. Just random.

[Dale]

Are we gonna get into this idiot?

[John]

Yeah, yeah. We'll talk about that in a second. Yeah, the German thing. No, she.

[Brett]

Genius.

[John]

He doesn't have enough questions in life. He doesn't ask enough questions. Were you in a fraternity? Somewhat. At smu. The football team's probably fraternity.

[Dale]

Well, we. We were the best of the fraternities because we just went to whatever parties we wanted to.

[John]

Right. Because you were the team.

[Dale]

We didn't have to do the rush thing.

[John]

And so you and your Cowboys buddies.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

You. Emmett. Married? Not married.

[Dale]

He is divorced now.

[John]

Okay. Troy, married?

[Dale]

Divorce.

[John]

Oh, my God. Michael Irvin?

[Dale]

Yes.

[John]

Single?

[Dale]

No, he's married.

[John]

Well, he kind of pretends his wife's.

[Dale]

Actually going through a tough time.

[John]

Oh, that's true. That's true. Okay. Yeah, that's it. And then one of your linemen.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

Okay. Geesick.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

You go to Brooke and you say, and Brooke may trust you, but you take Michael Irvin, you're taking Emmett and Troy, single, to Germany for five days. Are you coming back with anything?

[Dale]

Well, here's my whole thing I'm going on. Here's my whole thing. I got one question. Question for you. I got one question. Are you bringing your golf sticks?

[Brett]

No.

[Dale]

Five days, you five dudes are gonna go sightseeing. That is the gayest thing I've ever.

[Brett]

Heard in my entire life.

[Dale]

No, no, no.

[Brett]

We're going shopping. That's a good point.

[John]

What are you gonna do for five days? That's a lot.

[Brett]

Well, one of the days, I'm going up to Berlin and I'm gonna meet my brother. Brother in law, my sister. Because my nephew is living in Berlin. So I'll spend a day with them.

[John]

So you're gonna ditch the group and go over and see those guys, or are they all coming with you?

[Brett]

No.

[John]

Okay, so you just go solo for a day, then come back that night?

[Brett]

Yep.

[John]

And then the big gay adventure continues with a little family side that is.

[Brett]

Seriously going to Disco Tecos every night.

[Dale]

Oh, my God. I almost drove from It's Oktoberfest.

[Brett]

So you're going there for two days.

[Dale]

But you don't drink?

[John]

Drink. I'll have a beer. That's October Fest. I'll have a beer. I understand, but those beers are giant.

[Dale]

A guy's golf trip?

[John]

Sure.

[Dale]

By class of 1980 from SOAR, we got about 10, 12 guys. We'll go on a weekend.

[John]

Maybe Flagstaff. No kidding, That's a lot.

[Dale]

Paw Springs. We'll go to Flagstaff is the new.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Thing. Because now they got some. Some real nice course up there. But it's a golf trip. And then.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

You go out and you have some pops at night.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

And I will tell you this. The one word of warning is we allowed one single guy to come with us.

[John]

It's trouble.

[Dale]

And he usually would take down one or two of the married guys. Yes, it's.

[John]

It's trouble.

[Dale]

It's bound.

[Brett]

Well, these guys don't do that.

[Dale]

Yeah, these guys don't do that. What's his name?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Not Sly. In the family stone. I'd go on that trip.

[Brett]

Douglas and he.

[Dale]

That, that was a nickname. Fraternity.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Is he still called that? Like, do you call them that?

[John]

No, no, but you do on the trips to Germany. Cuz you're reliving the fraternal.

[Dale]

I just don't understand five dudes going, hey, let's get together fest. Yeah, well, but there's other things.

[Brett]

I could. But I probably wouldn't bring my sticks over there. I'll just hire them.

[John]

That's what they call it in Germany. Tries to be European.

[Brett]

I'm not gonna bring a chance of them. They get lost.

[Dale]

There's a lot of good things to do in Germany.

[Brett]

Golf is not off the table. No, we have one. We're getting a tour of one of the. There's a possibility of one of the breweries because one of the guys is in the liquor.

[Dale]

I thought you got true on the crematorium.

[John]

No, it's not what those are called.

[Dale]

What are they called?

[Brett]

You're talking about the concentration camps.

[John]

We would call them. Where the atrocities occurred. We're not gonna bring up the crematory talk about that.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you know, at the same time, it's a vacation. So we can play it by ear on stuff that we're doing. There'll be plenty of stuff to do.

[John]

You don't. Yeah, but he's not wrong. Five guys touring together, it's. It's a little.

[Dale]

It's gay.

[John]

It's gay. No, it's not a little.

[Brett]

I'm all right with that. That's fine.

[John]

No, we're not saying that gay things are going to happen. Just, you know. Or if it's not gay, it's trouble. Like there's nothing. There's nothing. Five guys overseas saying family, stay away. That isn't going to raise questions.

[Dale]

And no golf.

[John]

I mean, there's no plan.

[Dale]

You're gonna be taking selfies of each other.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, that is good.

[Dale]

With the Eiffel Tower and all.

[John]

That's not in Germany.

[Brett]

I hope so. Yeah, we're gonna go to the Eiffel Tower.

[John]

You're really lost.

[Brady]

Make sure you hit the Leaning Tower of Pisa while you're there, too, because.

[Dale]

I. I went there with my family, and we stayed in Frankfurt. They went to Munich. Then we went to where the Sound of Music is. What's that place called?

[John]

Austria.

[Dale]

Yeah, Austria.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale]

And all that.

[John]

But I've been there, where the Sound of Music is. There's plenty to do.

[Dale]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but that. But that was my wife and daughters.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a family vacation, not four other dudes. Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. This will be a blast.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. Dale's selling me the other way. Family trips. You go sightseeing, you take pictures.

[Dale]

Yes, dudes.

[John]

Yeah, you're.

[Dale]

That's gay.

[Brett]

Yeah. You guys shouldn't do it.

[Dale]

No, we. First time one of my friends comes up, say, hey, you want to go to Europe? Okay. We got some golf lined up.

[John]

Yeah, no, it's gonna drive around together.

[Dale]

Yeah, let's go. Let's go look at Tower London.

[Brett]

The tower in London is beautiful.

[John]

Nobody said Europe. I'll give him. I'll give him the props. Ready? So we'll go to Europe. We'll visit that. We'll see. We'll hit all the sites, we'll grab some lunch and some wine, and we'll fly home to our wives and tell them how wonderful it was. It's. That's my point. Maybe that's all you're doing, but to the people left at home, it seems like that can't possibly be.

[Dale]

No, there's got to be more.

[John]

Might not be Ronnie, but one of those wives is going to start raising flags and cause trouble here. This trip is going to cause a problem for one of you for sure.

[Brett]

That's the exciting part of it.

[John]

It won't even be Ronnie. Ronnie's fine, as.

[Dale]

Ronnie. Fought you on this at all?

[Brett]

No, Ronnie encourages him to live.

[John]

She can't wait for this.

[Brett]

My 60th birthday birthday present.

[Brady]

She's paying for it, too.

[John]

She actually asked him to go now and wait for him in September.

[Brett]

I could go earlier.

[John]

Yeah, if you could just get out of here, I could go 10 days, go nuts. We'll pay for it. But, yeah, so I. I. Yeah, yeah.

[Dale]

No, that doesn't sound right.

[John]

So you heard that this morning, and we're just like, come on, man.

[Dale]

Yeah, that and he's trying to make it sound like this is serious, you homophobes.

[John]

It's not. It's not the gay thing. Although it sounds good. You'd rather have it be gay than cause what it's going to. Cause not being gay.

[Dale]

Well, he's gonna go. So you're gonna go to museums and look at paintings.

[John]

That's gay.

[Brett]

No, I'm not gonna do. I won't do much of that, but I. I definitely want to see some other things.

[Dale]

I won't do much of that. Yeah, you'll spend an afternoon.

[Brett]

No, but if I go. You know what if someone said they want to go see the new Waltzenstein castle? I would do that.

[Dale]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brett]

I'd go up to. I'd go over and see one of those cream crematoriums.

[John]

That's not what they're called. Also, it's not going to be that. You're gonna go over to the Attic and it's a strip club near Anne Frank's house.

[Brett]

I'd go over there and.

[John]

And you're going to check out both. You're gonna be.

[Dale]

Well, where are you staying?

[Brett]

Like.

[Dale]

Like, what city?

[Brett]

In Munich.

[Dale]

Okay.

[Brett]

Munich's home base. There's a lot of stuff.

[Dale]

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff there. You got Olympics clubs, there's restaurants, there's museums.

[Brett]

The BMW museum or the factory.

[Dale]

Are you guys together or you guys each.

[Brett]

We have a. A giant circular bed. We're all in one bed. I thought, you know, that's a little different. But you know what?

[John]

I'm telling you this. I think that's better if that's true, that the five of you tangle up and make some sort of dick rat king, than it would be not to do that.

[Brett]

I think we're gonna. I think there's two options on that. Nothing has been on the gay stuff. The vrbo. I think one of the guys has a connection to a house.

[John]

You're all gonna stay together, too.

[Brett]

And a house.

[John]

Oh, God. Worst thing, then the hooker's gonna come back to the house everyone's in.

[Brett]

It's a lot more convenient that way.

[John]

The guy.

[Brett]

Because the girls can just come over and.

[Brady]

Well, he's always looking for a deal. So, I mean, everybody's kicking in.

[John]

The single guy is going to bring the girl back and she comes with bags. There's going to be a chunky German in there and another one, somebody's got a babysit. And somebody's going to say accidentally, well, we'll take a picture of this. And they're going to be. It's coming back to a house and it's like. I thought you guys said there was.

[Brett]

I'll have every phone bagged up at our.

[John]

All right. Thanks.

[Dale]

Randy in the back.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Smiling.

[John]

Great job, Bruno. With a skillet or something. Br. Okay. Bruno Mars. No pictures.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John]

All right. It's just. I'm with you.

[Dale]

He doesn't like anything about this.

[John]

No.

[Brett]

I'm bringing yonder bags.

[John]

Yeah. You. You'll be fine. I'm not worried about you at all. I'm just worried about you being adjacent to these murders.

[Dale]

But. But doesn't it make you wonder a little bit about that that's enticing to Brady?

[John]

No, that's. That's the Brady I know.

[Dale]

If three of us. Any five dudes come to us and go hey, you want to go to Germany for a week? Okay, well who's going?

[John]

Just us dudes.

[Dale]

Just us dudes. Start golfing.

[John]

My brain right there goes.

[Brett]

Would you go with any of your.

[Dale]

Teammates if there was golf or something?

[John]

We can do golf.

[Brett]

It's five days.

[John]

It's still probably not going to go over too well at most houses.

[Dale]

No.

[Brett]

Are you. When you go on vacations, you like everything. Like today we're doing this.

[Dale]

No. No.

[Brett]

So we're kind of playing it by ear. The world is our oyster tail.

[Dale]

Yeah. But I'll pick like two days that are golf days.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale]

And then the red. You know. But again site. What are you frolicking? Holding.

[Brett]

I'll look into Munich Country Club. See if I know a member or.

[John]

You're looking for deals. It's just such a thing. It's just such a thing.

[Dale]

But I will. I will go along with John somebody.

[John]

Oh, somebody's going to be in trouble.

[Dale]

Somebody. I don't know who. Somebody. Maybe slimy dick somebody.

[John]

It's true.

[Dale]

It's gonna cause a problem.

[John]

Yep.

[Dale]

Either get arrested. You got to go try and bail them out of this.

[Brett]

You gotta understand that that week in October were fast. There's so many people from oh all over the world.

[John]

Brady's found a story or Brett found a story says Germans to make condoms a must for prostitutes clients. So don't forget your condoms.

[Brady]

There was jimmy hats.

[John]

No evidence.

[Brett]

They're. They're bringing them.

[John]

They said no. No. The clients have to have.

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[John]

Okay. Prostitute will turn around. So then one of your guys gonna get drunk and she's gonna must have a cult receptive or we can't have sex.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John]

And then your scummy dick's gonna. We're doing it when I say we're doing it. He's gonna slug a pro dog. Yeah, we're ra. And you slut. Boom. And then he's gonna punch her right in the face. And you guys are in a melee problem. No, you'll be in the car.

[Dale]

Yeah, I'll be gone. You'll be on the circular bed.

[John]

Go.

[Dale]

What's going on down there?

[John]

I. I was in Phoenix in a car with five guys in at once. And Grant, my friend Grant points out of the window and he goes, hey, there's D. We're on Van Buren. And he's pull over. And his friend stops this gigantic old Buick. We were. Could feed 12 people.

[Dale]

Right?

[John]

And D gets in the front seat was the straight across seat. There was no middle. And the back seat.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. And so D hops in the car with us and starts giving mouth hugs to Grant right there for 40 bucks.

[Dale]

And you guys are all just.

[John]

And the dude's driving. I didn't expect this to happen much. Like Brady, I thought we were just going outside seeing. But no. Grant saw D and he's like, I know her. And wanted a bj. Like, right there. He had two twenties he handed him.

[Brett]

We don't do that stuff.

[John]

No.

[Brett]

Anymore.

[John]

Neither did we ever. That just happened.

[Dale]

And now you're gonna. You're gonna say we're eight time zones away.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Nobody knows what's going on over here.

[John]

The first night, one of the dudes gonna be like, you know, we're having a real tough time, and I don't know if it's gonna work out or not.

[Brett]

And we'll help him out.

[John]

And the single guy's gonna bring over the fat one, and the next thing.

[Brett]

You know, he's in a drought.

[John]

He's got a snossage sitting on him, and it's. It's bad anyway. Oh. Oh, goodness, Dale, I'm glad you and I are on the same page here. And that dummy. Dummy doesn't. No, no, no. It's. Yeah. Best case scenario for you, you end up in one of those murder mystery hostels that kills everybody. And that would at least be a tragic story that gets back. And everybody's sad what's coming your ways. They'll be packed. Yeah. It's going to be bad. You're going to be Oktoberfest week.

[Dale]

Well, make sure you get over to Austria and go sing on the hills. Yeah.

[Katie]

Or alive with scummy Dick Douglas.

[John]

Done. Dale Hell is here. Berating Brady along with the rest of us. Brought you By Prestige Billiards. Their spring cleaning sale. 10% off if you use Meathead 98 online at Prestige Billiards, AZ.com or in any of their stores, Scottsdale, Mesa or Glendale. Good job on sports tale.

[Dale]

Does Meathead like the name Meathead?

[John]

He calls himself me all right good self. That way if you met him, you'll know exactly where the second you see him.

[Dale]

Go, go. If you looked up.

[John]

Oh, that is his Meathead in the dictionary is just a picture. Just. It's Meathead Kevin is. And he's one of the nicest people you'll ever know. You should know him.

[Dale]

I should.

[John]

We should bring him in. We should have you a meathead chat. It'll be fun because he's a good.

[Dale]

We can both lift Slate together.

[John]

Yeah, do. Yeah. That's what Brady's gonna do in Germany. Lift Slate. Now what you don't know is Slate's one of the dudes nicknames for his dick. It's 9:42. We'll get to more from Dale and so what else in sports, there's nothing.

[Dale]

Else going on about Super Bowl.

[John]

Yeah. Is there anything to talk about?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

All talk Super Bowl. Dale next. He's been to a couple. It's 98. It's out of control now. That's a crazy thing just happened there. But evidently we're safe from fire now. You know, it's Dale Hell's here right now. We are upon you want to talk about the Super Bowl. I don't know if I want to talk about why.

[Dale]

I mean, the, the lovable Philadelphia Eagles are Super bowl champion.

[John]

This is your thing. And look, I was happy that the, that they. I thought they were going to burn their city down.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

That was my only hope is that if Philadelphia won, the city burns down. People are all over Patrick Mahomes. I was watching little Colin Coward yesterday for a second and they're. They're acting like this egg laying he did makes him takes him right out of the argument. Greatest of all time. Tom Brady lost a couple titles. I think he's lost what, three, four Super Bowls.

[Dale]

He's lost three.

[John]

And then LeBron James has six losses. I mean, the only ones that don't are. I mean, Michael got there. Michael won them all. There are very few guys who did all that.

[Dale]

Troy.

[John]

You and Troy. Troy got three.

[Brett]

Montana.

[John]

But in between that, you know. But yeah, Montana got four, Terry got four, but you don't.

[Dale]

The old Donald got one.

[John]

Such a prick. You've told me a story. I just relayed. Relayed to Steeler fans.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

And made them feel terrible.

[Dale]

What's that?

[John]

I was talking to a friend of mine who's always on about the coaching and I said, it's the players, the Philadelphia Eagles. And see if you agree with me. Just blueprinted how to win in the NFL by not paying receivers and not really caring that much about your running back. Although I think the renaissance of running backs coming back, you go get five, six guys that are all 335 pounds with athleticism, you build lines and you win in the trenches. And everybody said, you know, you gotta have. You gotta have these guys in front. And once you have that, like the Cowboys did, you build an Emmett Smith out of that. He's a good running back. He made himself a lot better because of what was standing in front of him. So it's more about the players. So I told the story to them. I'm like, look, for instance, the Cowboys super bowl against the. The Steelers in 95. You told me this. Larry Brown, the MVP, if I'm not.

[Dale]

Mistaken, and signed a multimillion dollar deal with Tampa.

[John]

Right.

[Dale]

With the Raiders.

[John]

Oh, the Raiders. That's right. So he's got two picks in this game that were crucial. The timing was crucial. And this is the worst part. Now quarterbacks, like you said, have their decision usually made before the play is even. Like the snap even happens. They read the defense. They either audible out and go to the next play that gets out of that. Keep them safe or you'll hear them say, we're good.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

So that we're good. We're good with what. What we've got. And then you line up and you do your thing. You told me this and it crushed me.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

The interceptions that Neil Odonnell threw in that Super Bowl. Larry Brown was nowhere where he was supposed to be. He was not even close to in his assignment. He was not near where he was supposed to be. Neil read the defense probably properly and said, this is where everybody's going to be. I got a guy standing in that cover two zone over there. He's going to be all alone, Right? And Larry Brown didn't do his job properly and happened to be standing where Neil fucked the ball was going to go.

[Dale]

So. So two things about it. Two things. You're right. Because. But every pass route also has a hot.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Off of it. So if a blitz comes, you're not running a. You're not run a deep post. Ball's got to come out. So you have an adjustment bail.

[John]

And.

[Dale]

And both times we had a Blitz. If you go back and look at it, we blitzed. And the receiver didn't run a hot route.

[John]

No.

[Dale]

And Larry was in the wrong position. Corey Holiday and Raw and Larry Brown's in the wrong position. And they were the two biggest plays of that.

[John]

And you may or may not have kept momentum in that game.

[Dale]

No. Hey, if, if we don't get those.

[John]

Yeah. You may not win that.

[Dale]

No.

[John]

It was a game that was a little too close for comfort after the 10 point spotting you got in the first quarter. It's a weird thing. So I always say that to people. Garbage plays are usually players. Coaches will make bad calls or keep a team kind of in a fit of like, why are we continuing. Try to mash our head in this wall. But mostly coaches are there to motivate and keep it clean. Well, it's then up to the players to be good or bad.

[Dale]

And then the other thing I, I heard about super bowl is. Oh, so that's a blueprint for stopping the Chiefs. You just could get a pass rush on him. Well, yeah.

[John]

Every team's trying five guys.

[Dale]

If you got those four. Yes. But what it showed me was obviously you need a quarterback.

[John]

Yep.

[Dale]

And obviously Hertz is good enough to win a Super Bowl. But your lines of scrimmage are the most important thing. That offensive line, for Philadelphia to watch my letter, all 345 pounds of him get out in open space.

[John]

It's up there with what you guys were doing.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

It really is. Like, that might be the next best line that I've seen play. And they got better as the year went on because everybody was weaker.

[Dale]

Right.

[John]

And they were still so strong. And in the playoffs, they. They scored 95 points in the last two games in the Super Bowl. And that's amazing when you really look at it like this team is getting stronger while everybody else is kind of just trying to grind through.

[Dale]

And the other thing is, I'm going to tell you because I've been in a game to where you feel helpless as an offensive line like Kansas City had to.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Because again, I think they. I think Philadelphia actually blitzed one. One time. One time.

[John]

They're just one on one. Better.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John]

And.

[Dale]

And one. Well, well, they. And they. Kansas City actually had an extra guy. You know, you have five linemen for the offense, four for deals. And as an offensive lineman, when it starts going like that. Oh, that it.

[John]

The avalanche.

[Dale]

The defense is just having so much. Philadelphia got 12 sacks against us one game.

[John]

Oh.

[Dale]

Back in 1991.

[John]

You can't stop it, I mean, Mike.

[Dale]

Golic got two and a half sacks. He has like four for a 10 year career at two and a half. Again, I mean, they were just having so much fun, and once it goes that way, it's scary.

[John]

Now let's go to your favorite part. The halftime show entertainment drill begins with Dale. I'm sure your slower entertainment mind was struggling very mildly with the urban nature and speedy talk of Kendrick Lamar and his crew.

[Dale]

Well, what I did was I made sure, sure that I, I, I, I recorded that.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

And then I put it on slow motion so I could get everything and every move and see.

[John]

So slowed it down.

[Dale]

I see Serena in the back and Closed caption. Yeah. So we, we said get the closed caption. So I understand the words.

[John]

Right? And you did, and you enjoyed it. And you understand that it's a, Like Kendrick is mad at Drake and has a lawsuit about his.

[Brett]

That upset you at all? I mean.

[Dale]

Yeah, I don't like, I don't like people taking shots at people in public. You know, just telling you, you take shots at that, that guy in Gilbert now, you know, hey, be the bigger man. Never be ever.

[John]

I am the bigger man. I'm winning the. So did you watch at a house party, or were you just by yourself?

[Dale]

No, I watched at a house party.

[John]

And did everyone enjoy the halftime show?

[Dale]

We all ate and I went and played with my grandkids.

[John]

Okay, so you just ignored it?

[Dale]

Yes.

[John]

Racist.

[Dale]

Can I not just say I don't like it?

[John]

Well, I can't say it about country. You jump all over me.

[Dale]

Well, but you do.

[John]

I hate it.

[Dale]

You say it's for stupid people.

[John]

It is. That's why I don't listen to the argument when you start having. I'm like, here we go, dummies talking about country music again.

[Dale]

When are we gonna get back to a real super bowl halftime, you know?

[John]

Oh, here we go.

[Dale]

Jennings.

[Brett]

Well, they're saying it might be country next year.

[John]

Yeah, they're gonna lean that way next year and it'll be girls. So at least people like me will look at it rather than.

[Brady]

Or they'll do the Beyonce country thing.

[John]

There it is.

[Dale]

Emmy or something.

[John]

Yeah, she got an Emmy for her Grammy work and a Tony and maybe even a Dundee.

[Dale]

A daytime achievement award.

[John]

Yeah, she might get a lifetime daytime achievement. She's very good is what we're saying.

[Dale]

Did you watch it?

[John]

Yeah, I thought it was. I thought it was good. It's not my cup of tea.

[Dale]

You almost said it. You thought it was great. No, it's out of your mouth. You said, yeah, I thought it was great.

[John]

I was gonna say that was great. Really good. It came out. So I said it was. I thought it was really good. It was. It isn't my. They're not targeting me anymore. I'm no longer the target audience for the NFL. I'm not. They want younger people.

[Dale]

You're in your 50s.

[John]

I'm an older guy. They've already got my money. They got to get. They got to appeal to the next generation and get their money, and that's smart.

[Dale]

Who's the youngest guy? Are you the youngest guy by a year, right?

[John]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John]

He's right behind me.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

So it's. Yeah, it's just one of those things where. And you're like, man, I get it. And I like Kendrick Lamar. I don't think he's bad, but I'm not going out of my way to.

[Dale]

Like, you know, I could go see him in concert.

[John]

No, no, no.

[Dale]

What happens to KPD sponsoring it, and that wouldn't happen.

[John]

Something weird went on. I don't think the crowd would be too thrilled. Too fast. My bald ass going up there. Introducing Kendrick lamar.

[Brett]

Hey, everybody.

[Brady]

12:30 guy be all right.

[John]

How y'all doing tonight? It's home again from flashing them best hits while you flash those beautiful brown. It's ready for kind of kamar.

[Dale]

All right, so tell me real quick, the diss track. Why do they not like each other?

[John]

That I don't know.

[Dale]

Oh, you don't? Okay.

[Brady]

I never looked that far into it.

[John]

We're just gonna make something up now.

[Brett]

Well, this has been going on for quite.

[John]

I watched his eyebrows go down. He started to nod like, I've got this. He has no idea. It's time for the entertainment drill. Dale Hellistrate joins us on Thursdays for spring cleaning over at the Prestige. Which meathead even said, what, am I running a cleaning service? Spring cleaning in February. But you can go over there and use Meathead 98 and get a discount off of anything they got. And there are three stores. Scottsdale, Mesa or Glendale or Prestige Billiards. Az.com it's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail], the home of tactical black. Get your deal right now. 199 bucks. Get you two months of training. All they have to offer, available right there at 98 or, I'm sorry, @reactdefense.com. go to their website, check their calendar, be part of all of it. They've got Their core classes that they've got, their elite training center that they do all the stuff with cardio. In the meantime, you're getting a ton of cardio work. You're getting a ton of work while you're trying to do the self defense stuff as well. So much to offer. Hands on training, personal training for a price you cannot beat. Works out to about a buck a class that they offer. If you went to all of it for that money, that's amazing. 199 bucks. You're not getting that deal anywhere else. Reactdefense.com it's the home tactical Black Brady and Dale. Entertain me.

[Brett]

Taylor Lautner played a werewolf in the Twilight movies.

[John]

That's right.

[Brett]

And now he's joining the other team. He will play a fictionalized version of himself in a series called Taylor Lautner Werewolf Hunter.

[John]

Oh.

[Brett]

The premise of the show is that after wrapping the last Twilight movie, Taylor is drawn into a secret society of werewolf hunters and he must wrestle with the ultimate irony, fighting the very creatures that made him famous. It's going to be a comedy.

[John]

Oh sure.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's going to be a comedy.

[John]

I'm not watching.

[Brady]

If they were a musical, they'll be.

[Brett]

Making fun of him.

[John]

That would be better. That's more impressive.

[Dale]

Who's Taylor Lautner?

[John]

He's the guy from Twilight.

[Brett]

You've seen that movie.

[John]

Hey, did you watch Twilight with the, your daughters were probably around the Twilight age when that stuff started to come out.

[Dale]

I didn't, I never.

[John]

He didn't sit through any movies.

[Dale]

Did you, did you watch it?

[John]

I tried to watch some of one of them and it was just so incredibly teen girl focused and it was, it was just unenjoyable. I can sit through anything. Clearly been doing it for 24 years.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

But I, I, that one was just.

[Dale]

Like, it's amazing to me the little bit that you know about so many things.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Yes, exactly.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, I'll take you, I'll take you to down a road of nonsense, you.

[Dale]

Know, a little expertise. Yeah.

[John]

I'm a nonsec nonsense expert and you.

[Dale]

Got, you got a 124IQ.

[John]

A 132 according to the Yahoo thing I took yesterday.

[Dale]

I think we all should take that.

[John]

I think it would be fantastic.

[Dale]

What's the highest you could get?

[John]

I don't know. The highest I could get?

[Dale]

No, the highest you could get.

[John]

The highest you could get.

[Dale]

I have a feeling I do better than you.

[John]

You would.

[Dale]

What are a couple of the questions?

[John]

Challenge? Well, well, it's a. You've never taken an IQ test. Clearly, no one's ever put one in front of you. Waste of time.

[Dale]

I did the Wonderlic.

[John]

I think you're. Yeah, I think your wife probably wouldn't allow that because she then wouldn't want that third party to live with you because if you get a low enough score, the government assigns you. Yeah, the government. And you might be able to get another check out of it for disability.

[Dale]

But give me. Give me one sample question.

[John]

Well, it isn't like a sample question. There's pattern behavior, like you. Recognition of patterns. Patterns. So it'll show you, like, four or five pictures and then say, what would the next one be? And they're kind of complicated patterns that you have to guess what they're doing. Numbers. Which is the next number. Sequential things, like 1, 2, 3, blank. Right. For you, that would be. Yes. And you might miss that.

[Brady]

The highest IQ ever recorded is between 250 and 300, which is.

[John]

I don't even know what that dude is. Head to side.

[Brett]

It's called the Elon.

[John]

Yeah. And Elon. Elon's up there. Like, so 140 plus is, like, genius level.

[Dale]

I'm thinking about 136.

[John]

You think you're close? Honestly, do you think you. Next Thursday, here we. Average IQ in the United States is 100.

[Dale]

That's kind of high. That's higher than I thought it would be.

[John]

Well, it's between 85 and 100. 10 is the majority of people. 100 is the most. I think it's 65% of people right around 100.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John]

And then you got another 10, 15% or 85 to 100, another 8 to 9 that are 100 to 110. Then it's 2% higher than that. That's where I land.

[Brady]

What are country music listeners?

[John]

They don't give contest. Okay. They crumple up the paper.

[Brett]

Do not. Do not try it.

[Dale]

Take it. See who's the dumbest.

[John]

I already took mine. I. God damn it, Dale. That is a battle I don't think you want to get involved in.

[Dale]

Hold on. Look at these two knuckleheads. I know.

[John]

And I'm still kind of thinking. I'll go. I would like to.

[Dale]

I'll.

[John]

You guys go to yahoo.com. it's on their pages. And try. Just search IQ test. You get it? Oh, Toyota. Oh.

[Dick Toledo]

104 is the average in the country. 96 in Arizona.

[John]

Oh, is that right?

[Dale]

Okay.

[John]

A lot of country fans, if you drop below 85.

[Dale]

Government.

[John]

No. There's like. Well, 70. If you're in the low 70s, then you're technically not allowed to be working heavy equipment.

[Brett]

Yeah, Dale has some recommendations.

[John]

Okay.

[Dale]

Again, every time he passes me these things, he just gets such a kick out of it. The must watch romantic comedies for Valentine's Day. That's coming tomorrow night. Johnny, you got reservations?

[John]

I've always got reservations about Valentine's Day.

[Dale]

You take your sweetie out.

[John]

Valentine's Day is not a thing.

[Dale]

No, you. You can't.

[John]

None of your business.

[Dale]

You can't declare that.

[John]

Huh? It's not. It's a pain in the ass. Valentine's Day is the biggest waste of time in the world. I'll do something this weekend.

[Dale]

What? Take her hiking?

[John]

Yeah. Probably hiking.

[Brett]

Biking.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale]

All right. The Hollywood Reporter put together a list of much must watch rom coms for Valentine's Day.

[John]

Must watch?

[Dale]

Yeah. What do you think the number one rom com is according to the ever storied Hollywood report that you need to watch now? Well, they've all been. They've all been around since 1993.

[John]

Is say Love actually is probably high on that list.

[Dale]

No, see, your. Your IQs on the list.

[John]

A ROM When Harry Met Sally.

[Brett]

Love.

[Dale]

Love actually, When Harry Met Sally is six.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

Sleepless in Seattle.

[Dale]

Yeah. Sleepless. Seattle's three.

[Brady]

Oh, what was that one with the. That song?

[John]

City of Angels or something? That was so bad. I don't even think.

[Brett]

50 first dates.

[Dale]

50 first dates is not so. I'll give you real quick. You got males. When they put it number one.

[John]

Oh, it's terrible.

[Dale]

10 Things I Hate about you.

[John]

That one's probably the best ones we've mentioned.

[Dale]

Have you seen that?

[John]

It's okay. It's not a romcom as much as I guess it is, but it's kind of high school. A little more fun. Yeah. A little more young.

[Dale]

To all the boys I've loved before. Brady Bogan story, German, great crazy rich, Asian.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's great.

[Dale]

My Best Friend's Wedding. I like that one.

[John]

Did you?

[Dale]

I do like that one. The Proposal. I like that one. That's nine. And then ten is love. Actually.

[John]

Yeah. I told you. Love actually said it's not on the list.

[Dale]

No, it's on the second list.

[John]

It's a 10. You said my IQ was bad. And you can even see it at 10.

[Dale]

Pretty women. 11. I like pretty women.

[John]

Pretty Woman.

[Dale]

Pretty Woman.

[Jamie Lissow]

Yeah.

[John]

Just. I'm guessing 73. I'm gonna throw 73 because you still can get from A to B. I'll.

[Brady]

Take the under and not get lost.

[John]

Too often. Yeah. What is the over under on Dale's iq?

[Dale]

There's our fandom.

[Brady]

Where's the fanduel?

[John]

There's the fanduel. Okay, so here's how it works. One to 24, profound mental disability.

[Dale]

Okay, Brady, I'm just throwing it out.

[John]

There as a possibility.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

25 to 39, severe mental disability. I don't know what the difference between severe and profound. 40 to 54, moderate mental disability. You're getting around probably.

[Dale]

That's Big Dick.

[John]

70 to 84.

[Dale]

That's Little Guy.

[John]

You think John Gordon, borderline mental disability. I'm going to throw you close to that.

[Dale]

I think Everybody here at KPD from 0 to 150 can be represented. And I think I'd be in the 1/3 120-130 range.

[John]

You think you're a Thursday 130 IQ?

[Dale]

Yeah. I'll finish a point ahead of you.

[John]

You will not. I already took my. The thing is, you can't double it on the thing because it. It gets your.

[Dale]

You can put another name in.

[John]

I could do that.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

All right. But I still would know it. So it alters the score.

[Dick Toledo]

We'll do a different one.

[Brett]

We'll find.

[Dale]

Yeah, we'll find out.

[John]

Yeah. This. It was a really good one. It's only 20 questions. They get right back to you.

[Dale]

I say the four of us, we do it next week. The lowest score has to buy lunch.

[John]

Yeah, but then who's going to make change? Dale, I don't think There's a good idea. 85 to 114. Your average intelligence. Okay, so I put probably most people in the room in that 115 to 129 above average or bright. And then where I landed, 130 to 144. Moderately gifted. Much like they describe your penis.

[Brett]

Dale, that was a good one.

[John]

Very like that one.

[Dale]

There you go.

[John]

It wasn't an insult, but it wasn't. It's not the right home about, but.

[Brett]

It'S pretty nice to you.

[John]

Moderately gift. Moderately gifted. It's moderation in the gift.

[Dale]

Gifted again. As I told you last week, the mongoloid thing might have something to do with your high. High Q.

[John]

What?

[Dale]

Well, you got. You're one tick away from being a mongoloid.

[John]

But your logic is, I'm so close to being a mongoloid. That's why my IQ score is high.

[Dale]

I said there's more room in that.

[John]

Oh, because I got too much head. I see. Well, that's true.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John]

You are a 250. He might score high circumference IQ. It's different. All right, Dale's leaving this Thursday. Get the hell out of here. Yeah, we're all done with Dale. That's it for us. Anybody doing it? All good. Clear. Thanks for Jamie. Lissa. I like doing the Jamie Lissow stuff because we don't get a chance to do a lot of Scottsdale center for the Performing Arts plugs. But if you want to go see jamie scottsdale performing arts.org so you should go to that. I think you'd like that.

[Dale]

He's a guy on Gutfeld. Gutfeld.

[John]

Okay, so I imagine you spent a lot of time watching Guild.

[Dale]

He's Gutfeld bothers.

[John]

No kidding. I figured it'd be right down your alley.

[Dale]

No, no, I have more of the hard hitting.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

High IQ stuff.

[John]

Oh, the high. Oh, it's. Oh, it's too low brow.

[Dale]

Just kind of like a Comedy Central thing.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, you need something a little bit more.

[Brett]

Just a step above a puzzle puppet.

[John]

A little more blue collar for you. I understand. Well, all right. Well, then never mind. Jamie, you can't go to the Scottdale where the rubes live. We're done. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a grand day. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. It's out of control now.