Holmberg's Morning Sickness - February 13, 2026

Episode: 02-13-26 FULL SHOW (Friday)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: David Attell (stand-up comedian)
Tone: Irreverent, edgy, satirical, and unapologetically crude

Overview:

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness packs a heady mix of dark comedy, relentless social commentary, and raunchy humor into the Friday preceding Valentine's Day—on a show reputed for both entertaining and disturbing listeners. Core topics include celebrity GoFundMe culture, Valentine’s Day cynicism, depraved listener call-ins, and a long, hilarious guest appearance by David Attell.

Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrity GoFundMe Debate: Outrage & Sarcasm

[03:00–19:00, recurring to 30:00+ and elsewhere]

• James Van Der Beek’s GoFundMe: The cast is incredulous and dismissive about the recent $2 million raised for late actor James Van Der Beek’s family (a satirical premise, used for comic effect).

  • Holmberg and team call it “insanity” that celebrities get handed millions, while average folks have to hold car washes to cover funeral expenses.
  • Quote, John Holmberg [06:22]: “This is worse than when old ladies sell their lives to some guy they've never met before ... I gave him $400,000 and I sold my house. Why?!”
  • Bret points out the seeming hypocrisy, “He’s almost doubled his net worth.”
  • Spielberg is called out for his public $25K donation, and the hosts lampoon the performative philanthropy angle.

• Class and empathy: Sharp contrast is drawn between celebrity handouts and everyday hardship. They lampoon the performativity of public giving.

  • Quote, Holmberg [11:11]: “I just don't think it's beautiful ... Why are we doing that for him? The Internet randomly picks and chooses weird things to give money for.”

• Systemic critique: The group rails against the normalization of GoFundMe as a substitute for insurance or planning, especially for the comfortably-off.

  • Quote, Holmberg [17:11]: “That's grifting. That used to be called grifting. Why is this rich guy getting tons of money now?”

2. Valentine’s, Galentine’s, and Gender Commentary

[02:10–04:00+, again at 19:00+]

• Galentine’s Day is mocked for being anti-male and a “bad luck” event, with jokes about invading women’s gatherings to talk sports.
  • Quote, Holmberg [02:35]: “We should go wreck Valentine’s Day and just loudly talk about football.”
• Valentine’s cynicism: The show skewers the commercialism and expectations of the holiday, and repeatedly returns to the idea that “showing your snooch on OnlyFans” is the real American tradition for hard times.
  • Quote, Holmberg [34:52]: “Make America great again… when you had two kids and you couldn't afford your bills, you had to show people your snooch on a Friday night...”

3. The KISS 1230 ‘Loveline’ Parody and Listener Call-ins

[41:20–55:39, several later segments]

• DJ Easy Dick (and other alter egos) take over for long stretches with an over-the-top, R&B-radio parody: fake dedications, hyper-sexualized “love advice,” and listeners confessing wild truths (some played by the hosts, others genuine call-ins).

  • Love letters range from an ex trying to win back her boyfriend after being caught cheating (“you got to suck your way back”) to a white guy seeking Al Green music to seduce a Black coworker.
  • Memorable moment [44:19]: “Kevin, if you're interested, Stephanie's still in ... she's probably all out of dick. She sucked her way back to you.”

• Listener calls:

  • “Gutsy” calls to profess love for “Sin,” reveals a history of being stabbed, and confirms the expected tattoos (“Virgin Mary on the leg”), providing a running joke.
  • Another caller, “Rick,” brings the mood down by calling to wish his daughter a happy birthday (on Valentine’s Day), and reveals his wife died during COVID, prompting the hosts to riff on depression and grogginess at a bar named Groggy's.

4. Medical Debt & GoFundMe: Wealth, Death, and Cynicism

[Full show, especially 03:00–30:00+]

• Holmberg's recurring thesis: Celebrities mismanaging their lives shouldn’t be rescued by mass donations; average people don’t get that safety net.

  • Quote, Holmberg [17:11]: “Everybody's got debt. ... I would want to sell my things. ... That's called pride.”
  • Emphasizes the performativity and self-congratulatory angle of giving (e.g., Spielberg’s donation).
  • Returns to the idea that “when you’re in trouble, someone close to you has to show their snooch to strangers” instead of running a GoFundMe.

• Satirical comparison: Repeatedly contrasts the GoFundMe windfalls with “only fans/stripper culture,” emphasizing that “real America” expects you to hustle for extra cash, not beg.

5. Pop Culture, AI Fears, and Entertainment

[From approx 126:00 forward]

• News about an AI-generated Tom Cruise/Brad Pitt fight video triggers debate about the end of acting, with the hosts urging listeners to “embrace AI,” not fight it, or risk losing out.

  • Quip, Holmberg: “AI is being super nice and doing neat things. When we fight it, it'll start being awful.”

• “Fun facts” about celebrities and golden girls cast members.

• Movie previews: “Crime 101,” “Cold Storage,” and seasonal talk about shamrock shakes and more.

6. Guest Segment: Comedian David Attell

[127:24–149:25]

• Mocked as the “Valentine’s Day spokesperson,” Attell brings his signature deadpan, discussing President’s Day, Garfield’s assassination, and dementia care for his mother.

  • Quote, Attell [132:33]: “You know how hard it is to get out of New York City on New Year's Eve. ... Like a drunk driving festival and everything.”
  • Speaks movingly (and comedically) about caring for a mother with dementia; advises never to say, “Do you remember?” to such a parent.
  • Discusses stand up in cold-weather cities, snow plowing, and general winter malaise.

• Attell anecdotes:

  • Working with Doug Stanhope, comedy festivals, the weird world of “doggy daycare fraud.”
  • Fantasizes about working outside of comedy, managing a barter town after the apocalypse (“What do you got here? How many batteries?”).
  • Decries AI-driven, driverless cabs, and the simulation feel of the modern world.
  • Closes by urging the audience to experience live comedy (“Don’t you want to smell it?”).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• John Holmberg on GoFundMe culture [11:11]:
  • “Why are we doing that for him? Who else gets this? ... Kevin Spacey almost lost his house... nobody gave him any money.”
• Bret Vesely on Spielberg’s donation [24:39]:
  • “Spielberg's 25k. That's nothing to him.”
• DJ Easy Dick on Valentine’s Day [52:05]:
  • “Ladies, let's not use any of the code word for six o' clock, all right? Kind of like horse's lips, only with none of those gigantic choppers getting involved.”
• On OnlyFans vs. Charitable Giving [33:00]:
  • “If I donate to a rich dude’s GoFundMe, I’m a hero. But if I donate to a single mom’s OnlyFans page, I’m a pig?? What happened to America?!”
• On Pride and Hardship [17:11]:
  • “As a proud individual, the last thing I’d do is say, ‘I got a problem and I’m not willing to part with my stuff—help me stay afloat.’...I would want to sell my things. That’s called pride.”

Unfiltered Listener Interactions

• Dedications on the “Loveline”:
  • Stephanie tries to win back her ex for Valentine’s (“you gotta suck your way back”).
  • “Gutsy” and “Sin”: A tongue-in-cheek romantic call, complete with personal injury and tattoos.
  • “Rick,” a lonely granddad at “Groggy's,” delivers the day’s most tragic call-in, explained away with dark humor.

Additional Highlights

• Valentine’s and Galentine’s Day: Skewering of “fake” holidays and single-woman brunches.
• The potential for ‘MeToo’ scandals after charitable outpouring (“What if we find out Beek me-too’d someone?”)
• Grotesque “Brady Report” videos: Squirm-inducing descriptions of viral videos (e.g., earwax removal, tank vs Prius, NSFW content).
• Jokes about “canned pumpkin” and the “circle of whore’s life.”

Important Timestamps

• 05:00–18:00: Extended GoFundMe/Van Der Beek/charity rant
• 41:00–56:00: KISS 1230 Loveline parody & listener calls
• 127:24–149:25: David Attell interview/guest segment
• 33:00+: OnlyFans/snooch/American hustle monologue
• 88:00–96:00: Listener “Gutsy,” and “Rick” call-ins (Valentine’s Day loneliness)
• 52:00: “Word for 6 o'clock” contest
• 160:00+: Fun facts, movie previews, and Valentine’s wrap-up

Summary for New Listeners

This episode exemplifies Holmberg’s morning show at its best and worst: Over-the-top, unfiltered, and rejoicing in discomfort. The show bounces between scathing social commentary (on entitlement, class, and performative charity), gallows humor about relationships and holidays, listener interactions both hilarious and tragic, and comics riffing on everything from OnlyFans to elderly crime victims. There’s plenty of NSFW, envelope-pushing banter. The segment with comedian David Attell is a highlight, blending real pathos with surreal wit. The “Loveline” parody and listener segments provide both comic relief and darkly poignant moments.

Fans of irreverent, provocative morning radio filled with edgy bits and social satire will find this a quintessential episode.

Listen for:

• Relentless satire on celebrity GoFundMe charity
• Ongoing Valentine’s Day irreverence and parody dedications
• Gut-punch listener “love” calls
• David Attell’s mix of deadpan comedy and emotional candor
• Edgy, over-the-top, and unapologetic takes on everything from AI to OnlyFans

If you’re easily offended, beware; if you enjoy sharp-tongued, uncensored comedy with a dose of truth, this is the perfect show to tune in to.